yotsubaclover

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going back to my roots (drawing Serge and Gilbert)

#theyre so nephews here omg #kazeki

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Sweetheart, even though you treated me kindly, My stubbornness prevailed. After we parted last night, I went and drowned my sorry self in booze again. Waking This morning, I remember your kindness And sadly reflect on my vile behavior. And now, I - a complete fake - now I’ll openly confess: Stripped of all dignity, lacking any sense of honesty, I was spurned on by my own illusions, into madness.

When had I ever tried to grasp the feelings of others? - Sweetheart, even though you treated me kindly, I was as stubborn and selfish as a child. Waking to intimations of morning breaking outside, Which somehow register through this pounding in my head, I remember your kindness, and also that drunken other. And as I sadly wonder who I really am on this chilly morning, Something tells me that I am nobody at all.

- Nakahara Chūya, “Untitled” from Poems of the Goat

#japanese literature

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going to talk abt indie publishing and zines later. kinda scuffed prep for it. i need to drink coffee but it might make me so nervous i barely say anything of substance. oh well...

i am excited tho cos i remembered a lot of material re: girls' lit that i can incorporate that also raises interesting questions abt transnationality wahoo hahahaha

T___T this is so clutch my palms r bleeding with how tightly i am clenching my fists

#raccoon brainrot emporium #wwwww ive just been researching so i dont even have a ppt or anyth yet #might try to clutch a zine for it instead. on brand too lmfaooo #anyway i hope it goes well ;w;

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magnetpilled gilserge wowza!

#kazeki

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Advice I gave someone today was: 'do it stupid.'

She wants to learn photography. Do it stupid. Take a million photos. Don't think about why they're not good. Enjoy the process of taking photos.

Pick out tge ones you like the most and figure out why you like them. Is it because the subject is centered? Is it because you caught them doing something cool? Is it because the light made cool shadows?

Do it stupid. If you try to do it smart, youll get stuck. If you think too much you'll never get to doing. Do it stupid.

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WHAT IS PEEPAW DOING WITH SNOOP DOGG

#dream blunt rotation

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everyones on that new enstars characters ass for looking absolutely horrendous But as someone who not only likes the eccentrics but also tsumugi i cant help but be enamored by his despicable outfit choice charm. full rainbow on one side of the outfit with Nice! plastered not once but TWICE on it, calling himself "Nice Arneb Thunder" with that dumbfuck vtuber looking haircut looking like a total clown but completely unaware of how awful the fit is Like im sorry but hes captivated me im afraid.

#with a name like arneb how can i not be enamored by u #mr nice guy sir ur already like family to me #u and ur fuckass suit and mesh and NICEs can he always have at least 2 NICEs on all his outfits #please lord

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a zine abt favs and feelings (kind of)

#this is ... brainrotted to the extreme #very fun tho! #zine #raccoon trash emporium: writing

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bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

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me and some friends have been thinking about doing a writers focused zine because of the uh. very, very limited writers spots in like every zine ever (it would potentially be formatted more like an anthology in terms of style just for an idea). essentially just giving more focus to fan writers out there with a few spots for artists.

#i support independent literary publications #most especially FANZINES!!!! #enstars anthology would go so hard i support this very much #enstars

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got CanPru pilled asf… big believer in secretly asshole Matt… sorry for lowkey disliking them in the past.. forever changed

#the them ever #hetalia

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some outfit sketches i made for shumika ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

#soooo cute #enstars

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hello enstars fandom ! welcome to enstars culture zine, a fan-zine dedicated to showcasing ethnic/national and religious cultures from all around the world 🌎 🌍 our info doc is here !

right now, we're running our interest check, and would be thrilled to hear your feedback !

moderator applications will open earlier than the writer/artist applications, so if that's something you're interested in as well, please do keep an eye on things here ! 🫶

#this is so cute!!!! omg #looking forward to... filipinization mwahahaha #enstars

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"You... are a flower that will forever be out of my reach."

Art that this is a redraw off

#WHHATTTTTT #KAZEKI FUGIO OMFG #OP U SAVED ME UR DOING GODS WORK #I LOVE THIS SO MUCH #my poor boy fugo as gilbert oh my goodness #SO IN LOVE WITH THIS #jjba #kazeki

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super rough jules pseudo analysis thing

still think the most ??? train of thought ive had about jules is the line of analysis where i try to tie his dynamic with rosemarine to some sort of still-wonky class analysis

like i need to reread because it's been a while so i might simply be projecting but i remember talking about rose basically being like. bureaucrat capitalist nouveau riche vs jules being an impoverished and landless (?) noble and how the milieu of kazeki's narrative could have something to do with that (plus the later bits *coughs paris arc coughs* on urbanity... which is more directly about class p much)

my favorite part about that analysis is looking at how power and gender intersects cos in the case of jules, if land = power = masculinity and he is rendered landless by a series of unfortunate events, he is effectively castrated by the loss. and so much of jules' life is defined by trying to grapple with that vacuum (tbh you can interpret his shady dealings as like, kinda trying to compensate for his masculinity, because rising the ranks in the underground is power too, but since it's underground it's not really recognized so)... but ultimately kind of just always being on the fence about things. lmao.

queerness plays a big role in the hot mess that is jules. bc his character is stripped of his masculinity by the establishment and forced to occupy another (opposite!) role... and ofc because he loves rosemarine, he is obsessed with rosemarine, and he can't seem to reconcile himself with that fact nor can he let it go even well into the future, as in dove of happiness.

tldr; no one knows what goes on with jules de ferrier, even himself!!! (actually we kinda do know he has a crazy complex @ rosemarine which is very love and hate and tied to his self-image and gender concept. jules himself however) lololol. he's so bitter and terrible and this is a very limited and rudimentary look at the gears that turn this weirdo's head but it's like, wow, this guy is the side character ever and you can dig this deep into him??? sometimes i genuinely feel crazy but i think that's the charm of kazeki, the characters are like jawbreakers, you gotta take your time to melt and experience all the layers...

but this line of thinking also makes me curious about what the milieu of kazeki's production might have to do with these themes. bc you know. there are countless papers on marxist readings of rov and how its story coincided w irl social movements re: leftism and feminism in japan. what about kazeki? like i think there's potential in there... uuu... wanna study...

#raccoon brainrot emporium #kazeki #jules de ferrier #sorry for being crazy about jules it will happen again #this is what runs through my brain almost daily i really really need to like #write a thorough well researched academic essay about this guy like PROPERLY THIS TIME #cos i already did before but it was super shitty analysis

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wahahaha have fun

explaining my blorbo associations pt2: jules who i do not draw often im so sorry u look like that babygirl

song: i actually... have never made a jules playlist LMAO my jules brainrot is so academic i could spit theories for him but not songs. so i had to dive into my spotify likes and find something. goldilocks spot is actually from a very old jolyne playlist i made but i think it also fits jules. to me it's a song about being painfully aware of how... average? not-outstanding? just there? you are and the angst that comes with it, the bitterness towards other people (in jules' case, for not seeing him as who he knows himself to be—a noble). but there's also a stubborness and pride that keeps you from fully confronting those feelings/that dilemma and finding peace within it, which is fitting for the persistent turbulence within jules... a lot of this is my (quite liberal?) interpretation tho so yeah

color & object: purple is the color of royalty and lavender is pretty and calming and healing. quite the nice set of descriptions for someone like jules :)

animal: i dont kin assign animals often so this was hard. but i chose raven as a parallel to doves... because jules' dove of happiness was/is rosemarine, and because jules is almost like rose's shadow in many ways... also ravens are kinda bad omens i feel like for all the gentleness jules shows he is also obviously capable and willing to do terrible things, he's selfish and prideful and even a little greedy... and lol i think the negativity also fits some of his self-image

drink: tea! of course! what else would i put

aesthetic: i think classic dark academia with all its elite-ness and occult-ness and general fucked up-ness would be a very average jules genre. smack him in a dark academia plot a la secret history and he's right at home lol. even his fallen noble status makes for an interesting pov in a dark academia story. the genre's potential for class analysis and commentary too is jules de ferrier

other: i think it was a fic which was about jules and perfume which made me think about this association... lavender was the scent too so that is another explanation to the above lol. as for the shadows again it's cos of his duo thing with rosemarine but also everything he does is kind of... in the shadows... he has engaged in shady shit (gang moment???) and is often lurking/observing situations (as the right hand man yk) and also just him looking out for the people he cares about even if in incredibly convoluted ways (see: rosemarine and jules' deal with the thugs who wanted to beat him up when they first arrived at lacombrade). he does the dirty work in the dark or smth like that. tbh there are a lot of oppositions with rosejules, the light/shadow thing is pretty on the nose i think but my favorite is probably the feminine/masculine. (disclaimer thisis an idea spitball Only so pls do not sue me for incorrect use of terminology; im sorry feminist theory i promise ill read more of you BUT a lot of the ideas kind of branch out of 2nd wave ideas/concepts i believe)

because publicly rose seems to take the patriarchal role as the superintendent (ie. being the disciplinarian, having power, being the symbol of the institution) while jules assumes a more matriarchal role as advisor, someone more approachable and "kinder" than the patriarch... then it all gets skewed because of auguste's presence, so they actually switch with rose being "feminized" and jules being "masculinized" but anyway LOL i have many thoughts on this specific kind of. feminist/queer inspired reading of rosejules

i hate his ass so much cos it's so fucking hard to break his character down in a comprehensible way. the thesis topic thing is only partly a joke. i genuinely think with the depths i am going to look at this i can find something in him or maybe im just delusional lmao i probably am

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p3 of blorbo association explanation woohoo and this time it's fugo!!! my beloved!!! who i can still draw quite cutely after all this time aww love my lil guy

song: I HAVE A WHOLE FUGO PLAYLIST it's really OLD but it's so important to me. i always thought the pain and aimlessness and self-loathing of turn off the lights was perfectly post-gw (and early phf) fugo. another very fugo song? lassassymphonie from mozart opera rock.

color: deep red! maroon? i like red fugo the most :3c silver and red on top

animal: genuinely ive never kin assigned him any animal hes just always been a teen boy to me but i said hare bc ... i recently saw bunny!fugo fanart but he is not a cute rabbit he is something a little more square than that. and a hare seemed right. i think they're also a bit shy lol which is also very fugo to me, actually quite timid

food: berry fugo lover says strawberries are him who is surprised

object: diy holes in jeans cos i just think he should do arts and crafts. but also because i saw these pants with heart holes in them in some runway show a few years back and thought "wow i could hypothetically make those jeans on my own actually..." LMAO as for the earrings, i too have strawberry earrings, and anything similar i will call fugo earrings :D

aesthetic: i just like him in more alternative fashion and specifically 90s era stuff too so i just merged both. i think him in 90s casual is also good. i like to draw him in that i think thats why lol

other: smog cos purple haze baby. both kills. one just slower than the other. regret cos i like angst and pain and phf. tomes cos boy is a nerd at heart forever and ever and of course the mysterious killing which changed his life. but like genuinely i think he would hang around the library and pick up a random bigass book and binge it within ... less than a week probably. like. he READS. and he is INTERESTED. i'm not sure if he'd be a philosophy guy or a humanities guy at all but i am optimistic and projecting he is. i think his family would've wanted him to be a lawyer idk. to me he loves some kind of humanities or social science okay

i loved fugo so much i made an incredibly elaborate debate au starring HIM ft a bunch of other jojo characters pls and i did that so i could also love the sport... when i burned out i stopped building the au im so sad i miss passione debate society :")

#raccoon brainrot emporium #jjba #pannacotta fugo