I'M SHAKING I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE LET ME OUT
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🌹 november rain by guns n’ roses
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I don’t wanna liveeee - lana del Rey ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
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You're screw up.
You're brilliant.
You look like a million dollar man.
So why's my heart broke?
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Last year, when I wrote you my last letter.
The beginning of my future poetry.
I acknowledged who you really were for the first time.
I didn’t call you by any other name.
I let you know that I knew the true nature of your heart.
That it was evil, and that it convinced me that darkness was real.
That the devil is a real devil.
And that monsters don’t always know that they’re monsters.
But projection is an amazing thing.
After you left and burnt the house down,
you tried to convince me that it was I who was holding the matches.
You told me that I didn’t know who I was, but I do
I love rose gardens.
I plant violets every time someone leaves me.
I love the great sequoias of Yosemite.
And if you asked my sister to describe the first thing she thinks of when she thinks of me,
she would say camp fire smoke
I’m gentle
I’m funny when I’m drunk.
But I haven’t been drunk for 14 years.
I go on trips with my friends to the beach who don’t know that I’m crazy.
I can do that.
I can do anything.
Even leave you.
Because my bedroom is a sacred place now that there are children at the end of my bed.
Telling me stories about the friends that they pretend to hate, that they will make up with later.
And there are fresh cut flowers that I grew myself in vases from the yard on nightstands, hand carved by old pals from Big Sur.
And the longer I stay here.
The more i am sure,
that the more I step into becoming a poet,
the less I will fall into being with you.
The more I step into my poetry.
The less I will fall into bed with you.
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