asterashley

[asterashley]

burger burger

its like a burger, but its two burgers

#shitpost

[asterashley]

caught the farcille brainrot 👍

[asterashley]

so jealous of animals that can do that little walk in a circle, plop down and go to sleep thing. it looks comfy as fuck when they do it, but when i do it all i get is sore shoulders???

#silly #shitpost #jealous

[asterashley]

if lizards could think real thoughts and not just "bug, water, warm rock" i am so sure they would think that wardrobes are some variety of magical. like those little dummies spend a month at a time or whatever making new skin but i disappear behind a door and come out with a new one (different clothes) in five minutes? probably blow their fuckin mind if they had one

#stupid thoughts

[asterashley]

i know people already generally like godzilla 2000's design but GOD DAMN. the dull green skin with the crazy pink-purple dorsal plates, the particularly animal face, the awesome-ass red atomic breath? he is THE godzilla in my head.

like in terms of favouriteness there is godzilla 2000, all of his future lookalikes, and then there's a mile of absolutely nothing before you even start seeing any other godzillas.

#godzilla #godzilla 2000

[asterashley]

just a fucked up little guy looking for my other, slightly less fucked up little guy

#yearning #ok but seriously tho where are they im getting desperate

[asterashley]

im sure this has been done before, but hear me out about this.

yall know those frogs that are just like... so pudgy that theyre all body with a little face slapped on the front? what if that, but its a dragon instead of a frog?

heres a (rushed) image to try and sell you on the idea. i tried to keep his froggy origins but man i REALLY dont know how to draw frogs

#dragon #art #digital art #sketch #silly #sorry he looks like that i lost my brush presets :( #i will probably come back to this and make him pretty later

[asterashley]

plz nerf boob pain, its unreasonably bad for how little of them i have.

#mtf #mtf trans

[asterashley]

if the local cafe doesnt stop serving me rectangular cut cheese toasties instead of triangular cut ones idk if i can keep coming back. i could never say it because the lady handing me the toastie always looks so pleased with herself and i would hate to crush her happiness like that but i also cant do this forever, its just not right.

[asterashley]

If I was a Pokemon my ability would be the opposite of protosynthesis(?), like if I’m out in the sun then all of my stats are lowered

#pokemon

[asterashley]

"get on my level."

and what, cast myself down into hell? no thank you

#shitpost

[asterashley]

not to sound too stupid but sometimes i forget my glasses and then panic while i try to figure out distant (potentially) hot people's genders as if i'm not bi? its not like the bi is stored in the glasses, wtf am i doing?

#bisexual #bi #stupid

[asterashley]

love it when family is like "wow, you got man flu or what" as if i'm using sickness as an excuse to be lazy or something. no no no they don't get it, "man flu" is an optimal sickness response. i WILL spend 3-5 days in bed with my soups, my comfort sweets and my blankets and i WILL feel better in that time, i did not spend my entire life learning the best response to sickness only to abandon it because they don't understand it. if i run about with this like would normally it will be 3+ weeks before i'm better rather than 3-5 days so i'm off to be "pathetic and lazy" now, tyvm.

#man flu #sickness

[asterashley]

Sorry to whoever’s post I just sleepy tipsy flagged I was trying to like the one above it and keep scrolling but wobbly hand cursed me I’m sorry again bro idk who u were feels bad :( can I undo that anywhere?

[asterashley]

not in a mean way but i love how simple my best friend is. such a simple creature. he would do anything for a cookie and we both know it. ask him to do whatever and he has a brilliant time with it. most recently was asking him to help me destroy a cardboard box and hes just immediately on board with it and then afterwards hes flexing and like "IM FEELIN' ALIVE!". no thoughts in that head of his and im jealous

#friend #bestie

[asterashley]

I CANT NAME HIM DOO I REALLY WANT TO BUT THIS POPUP IS TOO WORTH IT

edit how tf do i get tags to show in reblog? theres supposed to be tags here from boneyomi saying to name the nameless one doo. is there an alt method for this?

im loving this game, heres ooby, dooby and the nameless one (their actual names) all posing in sync.

[asterashley]

i was gonna make a post all like "youve heard of enemies to lovers, now what about lovers to enemies?" and then i realised thats just a messy breakup and thats just sad not interesting...

#shitpost