crazyqueenmoon

[crazyqueenmoon]

#bsd dazai #al capone #pm dazai #dazai osamu #mobsters #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs beast

[crazyqueenmoon]

For some reason, I find myself even more attracted to Guren when I hear him complaining about being around kids.

#guren seraph of the end #seraph of the end #guren ichinose #yuichiro hyakuya #anyone else? #kids amirite? #Youchi salta me #owari no seraph #owari no seraph vampires #fuck them kids

[crazyqueenmoon]

On why women’s rage is a superpower

My mother hates my new book. I gave her a proof just a few days ago, and although she’s still only halfway through, she can’t wait to tell me all the ways in which she hates my novel.

“Is this science fiction?” she says. (She detests science fiction.) “Were you ill when you wrote this?” (I was.) And repeatedly, she says: “Why are the women so angry?”

I get it. She’s out of her comfort zone. At 83, with no internet, no interest in pop culture and a deep-rooted hatred of anything close to horror or the supernatural, she wasn’t my target audience. And yet it’s never easy to hear such criticism from a loved one. But in some ways, she isn’t wrong. Broken Light is an angry book. It came from a time of lockdown, when social media was my only window onto the world. It came from a place of trauma, when I was fighting cancer. It came from a place of corrupt hierarchies, self-serving politicians, anti-vaxxers, Covid deniers, victim-blamers, and those eager to blame all their woes on minorities. And of course, it arose against the background of the #MeToo campaign and the Sarah Everard murder – a murder that shocked the nation, not least because the murderer turned out to be a serving police officer with a reputation for sexual misconduct - which unleashed a collective howl of protest, as well as an ugly, misogynistic backlash. Even so, my story came as something of a surprise to me: the story of a woman’s rage, and, on reaching the age at which women often feel least valued, her coming into her power.

It surprised me, most of all because I wasn’t an angry person. At least, I didn’t think I was. Those who know me describe me as someone who tends to flee conflict, who generally tries to find common ground, who gets upset when people fight. And yet, writing this story, I found myself saying and feeling certain things on behalf of my heroine, Bernie Moon; things I might not have said for myself, but which felt right and urgent, and true, and strangely liberating.

Anger has a bad press. A woman’s anger, especially. While men are encouraged to express feelings of justified anger, women are often criticized when they try to do the same. Angry women are often portrayed as “harpies,” “banshees,” “Furies.” It suggests that a man’s rage is righteous, but that a woman’s is unnatural, making her into a monster. Male anger is powerful. The God of the Bible is one of wrath. Seldom is he ever portrayed as expressing any other emotion. In the same way, men and boys are often led to believe that expressing emotion is weak - except for anger, which is seen as acceptably masculine.

In comparison, women are often criticized when they show aggression. Angry women are hysterical, shrill, out of control, unreliable, unattractive, unfeminine. A perceived lack of “femininity” makes a woman less valuable, less worthy of respect and of protection. The Press coverage of women victims of violence is a case in point. A victim of violence needs to be attractive, white, gender conforming and virtuous in every way if she is not to be overlooked, or worse, portrayed as somehow having contributed to her misfortune. When trans teenager Brianna Ghey was stabbed, the Press were very quick to state that her murder was not thought to be a hate crime, whilst at the same time obsessing over – and questioning - her gender. When Nicola Bulley disappeared, police felt obliged to divulge details of her struggle with the menopause, as well as her alcohol issues, even though this was privileged information and of no public relevance. When Emma Pattison, the Head of Epsom College, was murdered alongside her daughter, the Press immediately assumed that her husband George must have felt “overshadowed” and “driven to distraction” by his wife’s prestigious job. In all three cases, the victim falls under the hostile scrutiny of the Press, while the perpetrator is given an excuse. In all three cases, the victim – one trans, one hormonal, one better-paid than her husband - is effectively portrayed as “unnatural”. Subtext: Unnatural women do not deserve the protection of the patriarchy. Unnatural women come to bad ends.    

Once you start to acknowledge it, rage grows at a surprising rate. Over the past three years, I have found myself growing increasingly angry. Angry at the injustices committed by our Government; t the greed of corporations; angry at the prejudice extended to those who are different.

Connecting with others on social media has made me more aware of the lives and experiences of those from different backgrounds to mine, and with different levels of privilege. For a long time I’d been resistant to calling myself a feminist. Feminists are angry, I thought. What right have you to be angry?

Growing older, I realize that this was my mother speaking. A woman of a certain generation, who although she was aware of the challenges of living in a patriarchy, still had a level of privilege that many women do not share. White, professional, cishet women can sometimes have the luxury of choosing not to be angry. White, professional, cishet women can sometimes have the illusion of equality. But feminism isn’t only for just one kind of woman. A feminist must look beyond the limits of their own experience. And that’s where the anger really starts: anger at injustice; anger at corruption and lies. Most of all, anger at the prejudice against certain people for just being themselves; for being transgender, or Black, or old, or simply not conforming to what a white, patriarchal society expects and values. And once you start seeing injustice, you start to see it everywhere. It’s like an eye, which, once opened, cannot unsee inequality.

My anger flourished in lockdown. A time of growing divisions. Masks are invaluable in a pandemic, and yet they inhibit connection. They serve as a kind of reminder of who can speak, and who is to be silenced. While Boris Johnson was urging the public to trust the police, a vigil for Sarah Everard was broken up, with violence, by officers citing lockdown laws. While elderly people were dying alone; while I drove for four hours just to go for a half-hour walk in the park with my son; while I sat alone in my chemo chair, politicians were partying. Billionaires were enriching themselves. Behind the mask, the eye opened wide. I caught myself making faces behind my disguise at strangers. There was something weirdly liberating about this; as if, behind the piece of cloth, I could express myself at last. Not unlike writing a book, in fact. On screen, the eye opened wider. Bernie Moon, my heroine, was unlike like me in many ways, and yet anger connected us. The anger that comes from helplessness; from seeing others mistreated. Anger at a society that propagates inequality. And the anger that comes from hormones – those mood-altering chemicals that everyone produces, and yet which allegedly make women erratic; unreliable; hormonal.

In his novel, Carrie, Stephen King tells the story of a girl, whose telekinetic powers are unleashed by her teenage hormones. Carrie is unpopular, bullied, isolated. Her rage finds an outlet in her power. Driven to breaking-point by the bullies, she becomes a monster. Of course she does: after all, the author of this tale is a man, writing from the perspective of a couple of thousand years’ worth of patriarchal inheritance. In literature, a woman’s anger is unnatural; monstrous. It leads to terrible, unnatural things: makes murderers and infanticides of Clytemnestra and Medea; monsters of Medusa and Scylla. Unnatural, monstrous women are always punished in literature, even while acknowledging that they are often the victims of men. And unnatural women are often seen as physically repulsive – a reminder that, to be valued and loved, women must be young, and pure, and conform to the standards of beauty set out by their society. In literature, just as in life, those women who do not conform tend to be less valued, less seen, and when they do appear, do so as wicked witches, evil stepmothers, ugly crones and hideous travesties of womanhood.

But what would happen if a woman took control of the narrative? In recent years, we have observed a number of retellings of Greek myths from the point of view of the monster. Stone Blind, by Nathalie Haynes; Medusa, by Jessie Burton; Circe, by Madeline Miller. In both cases, the monstrous woman is seen from a different perspective; her rage absorbed and justified; her narrative reclaimed from a patriarchy that seeks to tame and subdue a woman’s rage, even at the cost of her life.

My new novel, Broken Light, comes from the same process of reclamation. It owes a debt to Carrie, but I have avoided the explicitly paranormal theme of the original, as well as the girl-on-girl bullying and the psychopathic mother. In my version, Carrie lives; marries her childhood sweetheart; internalizes all her rage and suffocates her power. Until the menopause – a topic which until recently has been largely misunderstood and taboo – at which point her power returns, and with it, a new kind of freedom. Freedom from the male gaze; from the responsibilities of motherhood; from the largely impossible expectations of society. Unlike puberty, menopause is triggered by a lack of certain hormones; and yet the symptoms can be just as dramatic and isolating. Loss of libido, exhaustion, depression, emotional outbursts as well as unpredictable and alarming hot flashes – my version of Carrie’s pyrokinesis. Whether my heroine’s powers stem from any kind of paranormal source is very much up to the reader to decide – after all, paranormal is only a step away from unnatural. And what counts as unnatural is in the eye of the reader – an eye that has been opened, I hope, to a series of new possibilities.

One is that rage is natural. Living in a patriarchy, women have a right to their rage. In fact, it seems more unnatural to me when women are not angry, given how much misogyny remains in our society. And growing old is natural. Being hormonal is natural. Differences are natural; so are disabilities. All women matter; whatever their age, or colour, or sexual orientation, or marital or reproductive status. The value of a woman’s life should not be defined by her popularity, or her age, or her looks, or her kids, or her value to the patriarchy. And no-one else gets to decide what a woman ought to be. A woman is not what, but who - a person, not an object; an active participant in her world. Women have lived too long behind the mask. They deserve their own stories. Stories in which they are allowed the full range of human possibility. So, to answer my mother’s question: Why are the women so angry?

Because it’s a superpower.

[crazyqueenmoon]

People who had strict parents growing up, do you find yourself constantly envious over every little goddamn thing in life bc of all the things you missed out on from enduring strict rules? I’m not posting to bitch about that since it did save me from certain situations that I could have easily fell into at a younger age, but I’m curious to know if that’s how anyone else feels.

#strict parents #is it just me #fomo #trauma #mental health #parents being strict

[crazyqueenmoon]

[crazyqueenmoon]

As despicable as she is, I want to dress like Shiv Roy, cut my hair like her, feel like I’m on top of the world all while I’m snarky and cold at the same time.

#shiv roy #hbo succession #waystar royco #girlfailure #shivvie #pinky #atn #roy family #roy siblings #tom wambsgans #wambsgans #siobhan roy #shiv succession

[crazyqueenmoon]

This song was my bop back in high school. Listening to it again, I can’t help but think of how Dazai-coded it is. I’m picturing him as this deceitful ex-boyfriend who’s got you under his clutches again. You enjoy it, but it also pisses you off and you’ve had enough. I mean, I have been simping over him a lot less lately. And I can totes see Chuuya singing this.

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #armed detective agency #port mafia #bsd skk #skk #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #dazai #osamu dazai #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai x chuuya #Youtube

[crazyqueenmoon]

It’s 420 and my headcanon of the day is Kunikida definitely has smoked weed before during his rebellious teen phase and Dazai, who doesn’t know that, jokingly says they should smoke for the occasion to get a rise out of him and Kunikida is like oh I don’t do that anymore and Dazai pauses and has to reevaluate everything he knows about kuni

[crazyqueenmoon]

Tachihara Michizou and Ian Fleming as spy besties sent together on missions. They’ve succeeded in bamboozling everyone with their disguises. Ian tries to teach Tachihara how to seduce ladies while on the job, but Tachihara refuses to because he’s not one to mix work with pleasure and let himself get distracted like that.

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #tachihara bungo stray dogs #michizo tachihara #black lizard #hunting dogs bsd #ian fleming #james bond #this is canon #tachihara bsd #tachihara michizou #michizou tachihara #agent 007

[crazyqueenmoon]

Started Owari No Seraph and how the hell did nobody tell me to watch this back when it came out? How? I’m really angry I didn’t know about Guren Ichinose’s existence for all these years, it’s not even funny. My goodness, there are lots of things I’d let him to do me.

Also, I really hate how there’s a deficiency of Guren x y/n content out here on Tumblr. Like come the fuck on.

Of course, ONS also has an interesting premise to it and I like the action scenes.

#owari no seraph #seraph of the end #yuichiro hyakuya #guren ichinose #Guren seraph of the end #owari no seraph vampires #Guren ichinose x reader

[crazyqueenmoon]

Bojack X BSD crossover LMAO

part 1

[crazyqueenmoon]

Reblog if you are not a pedophile.

If everyone doesn’t reblog this, I’m unfollowing all of you.

[crazyqueenmoon]

succession is the whitest show im watching right now and not for the reasons you might think but just for the fact that the kids can say fuck in front of their dad unscathed

[crazyqueenmoon]

Knocked Me Out

So I stuck to my promise. I’m so excited to finally present to you all a song that I’ve written and recorded about everyone’s favorite gunman, Tachihara Michizou! 😆

Now, when I first laid eyes on him and heard him speak, I was attracted to this man instantaneously. With a lot of the other acclaimed characters in this series, not so much, though they did grow on me.

The lyrics are pretty self-explanatory, mentioning his undercover agent stint, his aggression and the things he can do with his ‘gun.’ ;)

I’ve told you time and time again that I’m a Tachihara girlie. I’ve been meaning to write a song for him, and here it is! Enjoy!

Knocked Me Out

Caught my attention right off the bat 

Not everyday a guy’s doing that.

You’ve lucked out real big 

That’s not just something.

So show me what you’ve got

Go on and shoot your shot.

-

I’ll stay wrapped around your finger 

Instead of your trigger.

With all your secrets hold me close 

If you don’t want anyone to know.

Got me going

Feel you exploding.

And I just need a second to catch my breath.

Yeah you knocked me out, out, out

I’m up for another round, round, round.

-

Love the way you got ‘‘em all duped 

Even threw me for a loop.

Look at you, gunslinger

Certified trouble bringer.

Acting like you don’t care 

Somehow always still prepared.

-

I’ll stay wrapped around your finger 

Instead of your trigger.

With all your secrets hold me close 

If you don’t want anyone to know.

Got me going

Feel you exploding.

And I just need a second to catch my breath.

Yeah you knocked me out, out, out

I’m up for another round, round, round.

-

And every time I hear you say my name 

I forget how to stay contained.

Yeah, you’re abrasive on the outside 

But your affection for me, you won’t hide.

-

I’ll stay wrapped around your finger 

Instead of your trigger.

With all your secrets hold me close 

If you don’t want anyone to know.

Got me going

Feel you exploding.

And I just need a second to catch my breath.

Yeah you knocked me out, out, out

I’m up for another round, round, round.

Yeah you knocked me out, out, out

I’m up for another round, round, round.

#bungo stray dogs #bsd tachihara #tachihara #bungo stray dogs tachihara #bungou stray dogs #port mafia #black lizard #tachihara michizou #michizou tachihara #tachihara fanart #tachihara bsd #Tachihara michizo #michizo tachihara #Tachihara bungo stray dogs

[crazyqueenmoon]

I’ve been posting a lot on here about being thirsty for Dazai, but today’s post is all about Atsushi and what it is I like about him. Depending on how my mood changes in the future, I’ll get back to Dazai.

Even though Atsushi can come across as timid and naive, he manages to be firm and pragmatic. He stands for what he believes in and is adamant about being a good person and helping others despite being tortured and abused routinely during his childhood. And he’s got a very endearing boy-next-door charm to him which has always appealed to me. Doesn’t go around trying to act all cool for the sake of attention, would wave to you when he saw you, hold the door for you, do things with you that he wouldn’t typically enjoy just to spend time with you. If I’d known a guy like him at 17-18, I would’ve been head-over-heels for him immediately.

Also, everyone paints him to be this vanilla-ass character. Um hello? Are you forgetting that the dude can turn into a freaking tiger? Honestly, he’d be rougher than Dazai in the bedroom. He isn’t suave or strategical like him, but he’d leave a few marks on your skin. That is, If you wanted him too, and could ensure him that you’d be willing to take it. And if you did, he’d make sure they were quick but not too painful.

TL:DR Atsushi is gentle yet rough in all the right measures and that’s why he appeals to me.

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #bsd atsushi #atsushi nakajima #armed detective agency #ada bsd #anime #weretiger #bungou stray dogs #atsushi headcanons #atsushi nakajima x reader #tiger boy

[crazyqueenmoon]

Betty Draper & Don Draper in Mad Men (2007-2015) Tom Wambsgans & Shiv Roy in Succession (2018 - )

[crazyqueenmoon]

writing reader inserts is so funny because it's like. yeah you would NOT say that but now you do and you're gonna enjoy it. it's inevitably pouring a part of you into this fic. it's describing your dissociative daydreams in overly detail to everyone searching specifically for food to feed their dissociative daydreams. it's coming up with a hundred different scenarios on how to get railed by your favorite 2D man and yeah his dick is always big and he wants you so badly. it's playing barbie with Y/N who is like an universal OC at this point. it's going on silly little adventures in my mind and taking you all with me. reader inserts i love you so much.