darkangel888

[darkangel888]

i miss the rage (being hypersexual)

[darkangel888]

This

I'm so done having my feelings overlooked just bc of my reactions. Like I'm always the bad person. Oh, you hurt me first but I'm the one to apologize because I can't regulate my emotions normally? Oh i'm sorry it must be so hard for you :(

I'm so fucking tired

[darkangel888]

I want to destroy myself:)

#self destructor #sh #tw self harn #bpdblr #bpd mood #stryoblr #beansblr #anxiety #tw selfhate #mentally unwell #mentally fucked #mentally unstable #self mutalition #tw self destruction #styro #988blr #988twt #988lifeline #hitting beans #sh beans #I am made of styro

[darkangel888]

TW talk about rape

He took so much from me. He made me a hateful shell of myself. He made me hate myself. He made me hate my body. My body who just tried and still tries its best to protect me. I destroy it, I cut it, I burn it, I take drugs, I drink, I destroy it. I absolutely despise it. I blame it for what he did. Cause ‚how am I supposed to control myself around you‘. Cause it reacts even tho I don’t want it. Cause it feels good while I feel so bad. I hate it I don’t want it I hate it make it fucking stop. But my betrayer of a body feels good. Why? I hate it. I hate it so much. But even now… 5 years after I escaped him I still can’t say no, my body still betrays me…. Why do they never stop? I dissociate so much, I can’t move, I can’t talk… and they still keep going. ‚Hey you seemed kind of weird, is everything alright?‘ if you noticed I was dissociated why did you keep going? What is wrong with them? I hate them. They should stop they should die they should burn alive I am so so fucking angry. He took my voice from me. Because of him, I have to relive my trauma again and again and again. And I hate myself for still not being better. For becoming a mindless sextoy for them to use and abuse. For still not speaking up, for still not protecting myself from him, from all of them… I can’t make them stop and they never stop…

#tw rape #tw selfhate #mentally fucked #bpd #rape #sh #tw self destruction #self destructor #tw drugs #tw abuse #tw rap3 #tw r4p3 #tw sa #tw sa mention #mentally unwell #mentally unstable #trauma #tw sa related #sa tw #sa survivor

[darkangel888]

My therapist called me a people pleaser, but if that were true… where are the pleased people? People are not pleased.

#mentally unwell #mentally fucked #mentally unstable #self destructor #mentall illness #bpdblr #tw selfhate

[darkangel888]

[darkangel888]

I’m always suicidal

[darkangel888]

I want my innocence back.

[darkangel888]

I have blood on my sweater my face and in my hair. It isn‘t that deep and not that big in general but shit blood sprayed everywhere. Manic cutting hits different even my blood seems to be manically exited for me to cut hahahah

#tw selfhate #mentally unwell #mentally fucked #mentally unstable #self destructor #tw self destruction #tw self harn #sh #tw s3lfh@rm #988lifeline #988twt #988blr #selfharm #tw cutting #cvtt1ng #tw cvtting #beansblr #stryoblr

[darkangel888]

Drinking + loud music + cutting = best evening:)

I have not cut in about a month it feels so so good to finally do it again. To finally let go again. It is so liberating. Finally I see my blood dripping down my leg again. I don’t even feel guilty for doing it anymore. I need this. This is the only thing that makes me feel better. I love it.

#tw selfhate #mentally unwell #mentally fucked #self destructor #mentally unstable #tw self destruction #tw self harn #sh #tw sh related #tw s3lfh@rm #tw cutting #cuttıng #cutting #cutt1ng #bpd #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually bpd #bpd mood #bpdbler #shblr #stryo #styroblr #beansblr #988blr #988lifeline #shblrr

[darkangel888]

Drinking one energy in the morning and then starving myself the rest of the day with alot of weed

Fucking mint

[darkangel888]

i feel like someone dead pretending to be alive

[darkangel888]

[darkangel888]

[darkangel888]

I so so sooo badly want to cut on my arms. There is so much space left, there are so little scars yet... but I already wear long jeans all summer to make sure no cuts or scars are visible, I can’t wear long sleeves too. But it would look so beautiful, should I just go for it?

#tw selfhate #mentally unwell #mentally fucked #mentally unstable #self destructor #tw self destruction #sh #tw sh related #tw s3lfh@rm #tw self harn #988blr #988lifeline #988twt #tw cutting #cutt1ng #shblr #styroblr #beansblr #self mutalition #self mutilator

[darkangel888]

I deserve all this pain.

[darkangel888]

Why am I such a pussy about removing bandaids? Like scratching, burning, cutting is fine, but ripping off a bandaid is were I draw the line? Seriously?

#tw selfhate #mentally unwell #mentally fucked #mentally unstable #self destructor #tw self destruction #sh #tw sh related #tw s3lfh@rm #tw self harn #shblr #styroblr #beansblr