If by romantic they mean someone who dreams, I am a romantic, but I shall keep it a secret
Anaïs Nin, Linotte: The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1914-1920
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i finally woke up
just to tell you
that i know you know
i know
that you fucked up
and misused my heart
you wonder from afar
if we’ll ever get the chance
to redo the stars
i’m pulling shit out life’s hat
i got codes up my sleeve
and whatever slides out, goes
boy call me on a better day
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subjectivity blurs my sense of objectivity;
ever since i can remember,
i’ve looked at mirrors
and never saw myself clearly.
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Quattro strade, dir. Alice Rohrwacher (2020)
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girls when nothing gets better
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Fiona Apple photographed by Spiros Politis, 1996
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does anyone feel the layer of plexiglass between themselves and the rest of the world or is that just a me thing
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my hands were caught in a jam—
fig, grape and blueberry jams—
it was something reminiscent of marzipan.
i won't stop it—
no i won't hold it and beg it stay no more—
i'll summon courage from crystal rivers
just to tell you, what do i need you now for?
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i don’t grow out of my interests they simply become absorbed into me as i get older like tree rings
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distant chimes of clinking glasses:
powder blue, lavender, seafoam green...
they're like pretty jewels dangling from your ceiling.
haunting melodies
envelope my quirky tendencies
but dusk diminishes them as fast as they came.
haunting harmonies
recapture me as my own melodies carry me
to the bridge of realization,
reminding me that
what stands on the other side
of destruction
is creation.
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Bianca Stone, from What Is Otherwise Infinite: Poems; “Mary Magdalene”
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I wrote and I wrote and I wrote;
torrential words cascading down a veiled waterfall — a futile attempt of approval,
so I learned how to speak,
and I spoke and I spoke and I spoke;
submerging the rocks and the trees in chatter, drowning out my very own essence — for it was too much;
I am learning to be quiet (strong) again
forgiving myself for abandoned droplets
and wasted floods
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my mom once told me that the noon holds no new thing under the sun,
that growth intermingled with pain was a given,
and i should be thankful that i was chosen
for such a time as this.
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The heart keeps sobbing in its sleep.
Emily Dickinson, in a letter to Louise and Frances Norcross, wr. c. October 1871
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“I am both worse and better than you thought.”
— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath
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I want motherfucking magic in life. I want romance. I want peace. I want beauty and softness. I want love and warmth.
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