elusiveclownbox

[elusiveclownbox]

SOME ANDREIL/NEIL/ANDREW CODED SONGS (in my humble opinion)(with links to listen)

(because i have the biggest brainrot, they’re also just great songs so please give them a listen!)

Neath The Grove Is A Heart

Yaelokre

“Home is where we are now. Home is where you are. Home is where I am standing. Where I'Il be staying forever now”

this entire post is just gonna be my biased interpretations of songs but honestly the entire song gives vibes to me…the places that one would refer to as “home” being a constant ever changing cycle of different places, never being able to stay and settle in a physical place. but finding a home in someone else.

Room By Room

Shayfer James (I’ve almost exclusively been listening to him, so the rest of the songs are his oops)

“If the keys in my hand turned a lock of your hair I would walk through the glance, but I'd stop at the stare. And I'd follow it down To the very last step and I'd wait by the room where your secrets are kept”

THOSE ARE THE FIRST LYRICS cmon mannnn,,,learning the brutal past of someone you love as they allow you in, do i even need to say it?

First Date

Shayfer James

“Tell me your story, and I'll tell you mine, I think we will get along fine. Tell me your riddle, I'll tell you my rhyme, I think we will get along fine. And if the rules change, don't hesitate to say you've had enough of me”

It’s literally the whole beginning of their relationship, a truth for truth, trade for trade. The game of, maybe not necessarily originally trust, but of mutual understanding that grows into trust and respect.

Your Father’s Son

Shayfer James

“So if you're any good at bluffing, I suggest you do it quick 'cause everyone is next to nothing, and every tock will have a tick. It fits so well. What you've become is your father's son which will never be much of anyone”

Oh Neil, you poor boy cowering in the shadow of your father, his legacy locked within your image and the face you share with him. No matter what new name and identity you create, you know your father will never be far behind, you will always be his son. At least, that’s how it used to be.

Learning to Be Lost

Shayfer James

“I am a plagiarized autobiography of wreckage, a shipwreck in sheep's clothes. Be patient with me, I am learning to be lost. Don't be gentle. Never gentle. Be mindful of me, I will sink at any cost”

This I feel resonates more with Andrew, but one could argue resonates with both. They both have tortured pasts that are unspeakable to almost all but each other, but Andrew shoves that past and those memories behind a face of calm indifference and apathy. But they are both navigating a relationship with each other that they are unfamiliar with, and didn’t necessarily intend to enter. As they reveal bit and bit of their pasts, they don’t want pity or sympathy, their pasts are what created them and they refuse to be treated as though they are broken, especially Andrew.

Lullaby

Shayfer James & Kate Douglas

“People can't be trusted and we have to fight to stay alive. We'll always be the enemy, oh. Eye for eye and limb for limb, The blood that I've been swimming in, oh. Mother, I've grown tired of this. Mother, I've grown tired of this. There's beauty and there's empathy, some people might've cared for me. I hid my heart, and stayed inside, instead of moving with the tide”

THIS IS ALLLLL NEIL BABYYY. Blindly continuing to follow his mother’s words and advice, she kept him safe for so long after all (in her own way). He trusted that she loved him, wanted to protect him, but he missed out on so much because of her. Missed out on friends and life in general, people who might have been able to actually help him. If it wasn’t for meeting people more stubborn than him, for wanting to just exist for once, he could’ve been on the run and never settling for so much longer. Or have died.

Carve A Smile

Shayfer James

“And with every kiss you make a better man of me. The safe disguise of accidental lies won’t hide us here, no more, my dear. And I would sacrifice the air that makes my body breathe, if it keeps you safe”

They are both so willing to put themselves in harms way to protect the other, even before they came to realize just how much the other meant to them. Andrew with the intention of winning, and Neil half the time not caring if he ends up dead as long as Andrew is alright.

PLEASE DROP YOUR OWN SONG REQS i love good music.

anyway if anyone has actually made it to this point thank you for listening to my babbling. I can associate any and every song i listen to to whatever i am currently hyper fixating on and i need to express it outwardly. Hopefully yall like the music at least, even if you disagree with my interpretations!

#I cannot express how badly i wish i could animate or make comics so i could really show people what i see when i hear these songs #pls give me song recs #i see and hear them everywhere #i cant escape #i love them #the brainrot is real #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #aftg #neil aftg #andrew aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #music #aftg trilogy #nora sakavic

[elusiveclownbox]

if I had a nickel for every time I was into a character that had a bunch of small circular scars, I’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

#im so tired #jonathan sims #neil josten #recently finished aftg and obsessed is an understatement #changed my brain chemistry #fantastic series #we are also all on the ace spectrum which is wild and awesome #AND MAYBE EVEN ALL TRANS but that’s just a theory (headcanon) #pls no mag protocol spoilers im waiting for more eps to come out before listening #jon sims #tma #the magnus archives #aftg #aftg neil #all for the game #lgbtq

[elusiveclownbox]

QUESTION FOR ALL THE WEIRD FICTION LOVERS OUT THERE!!! (guess i should trigger warn with slightly nsfw, dead dove do not eat stuff)

does anyone have any fucked up, toxic, horrific, gruesome queer book reccs??

and im not talking “toxic” in a slightly dubious (by this societies standards) age gap or questionable power dynamics where one is the others boss or something NO!! i want something that leaves you reeling, something that would leave a foul taste in the mouth and a grimace on the face of the average person.

for example, just finished “exquisite corpse” by william joseph martin (formerly and more well known as poppy z. brite) and by god was it exactly what ive been craving and yearning for; an intricately written, beautifully crafted, professionally published collage of all my favorite “dead dove, do not eat” tropes. im not sure what words could potentially get me banned on here, so if you’ve never heard of it look it up, pretty similar to some of the more depraved hannigram fics ive read

ANYWAY LONG STORY SHORT i demand your most fucked up queer books. thank you.

#SHARE WITH ME YOUR DEPRAVITY #SHOW ME THE DEPTHS OF YOUR SOUL AND DARKNESS THAT RESIDES WITHIN #where my freaks of nature at #im tired got no filter and want more books to read #exquisite corpse #lgbtq #transgender #trans #gay #queer #queer pride #fiction #booklr #books #book recommendations #book reccs #horror #thriller #books and reading #bookblr #hannigram #gotta sneak that in there #they have great fics my fellow fans must have good book recommendations #book reccomendation #weird books #dark romance #dark books #ao3 #archive of our own #dead dove do not eat

[elusiveclownbox]

a little self-indulgent comic :>

#IM CRYING #THEY ALL LOVE HIM SO MUCH #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #wyll ravengard #astarion ancunin #karlach #lae'zel #shadowheart #baldurs gate 3 #bloodweave

[elusiveclownbox]

I FUCKING SOBBING YALL got a cameo from tim downie and asked him to lovingly scold my durge and he positively delivered😭😭

#i had such a long day at work and this made me so happy #it improved my mood so much #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #gale my beloved #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldurs gate gale #tim downie #bg3 gale #gale romance #dark urge

[elusiveclownbox]

thanks for an amazing con! I had so much fun at #animelosangeles this past weekend~ 💕

(also special shout out to the two amazing cosplayers who came by my table, and when I asked for a photo, surprised me with the above pose - absolutely delightful! XD)

#GALE IN THIGH HIGHS #PLEASE #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate gale

[elusiveclownbox]

sleeping arrangements (not sure tara would ever actually deign to sleep in the same 20ft radius as shovel but who can resist those big shiny insectoid black eyes 🥺)

plus:

#IM SOBBING #gale dekarios #shadowheart #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate shadowheart #gale of waterdeep #astarion ancunin

[elusiveclownbox]

dangerous...

#gale looks especially soft here #i’m obsessed #soft gale my beloved #astarion #gale of waterdeep #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bloodweave #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin

[elusiveclownbox]

DAY III: Sacrifice

Don’t sacrifice, JUST KISS THEM!!!

#THEYRE BABIES #I LOVE THEM #ghostbc #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #namelessghoulettes #ghost ghouls #ghost the band #ghost bc #ghoulettes

[elusiveclownbox]

it’s honestly so funny to me, thinking back about how I originally got interested in bg3 due to astarion,,,and then I ended up restarting halfway through his romance because I fell more in love with gale💀 and then I found out the fandom calls gale ANNOYING

#I saw gales big brown puppy dog eyes and experienced his autistic wizardly rizz and couldn’t resist #wyll and karlach come at a close close second #I have no idea who’s route I’m gonna do next it’s so hard to decide #I still love astarion but he’s just…a little bit boring to me now #I feel like I could be killed for that comment #every mean joke I see about gale makes me sad #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate gale #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #where my gale enthusiasts at

[elusiveclownbox]

The art of seducing a Bhaalspawn.

#i love them #and they love each other #kinda #in a screwed up way #enver gortash #durgetash #durge #the dark urge #bg3 #baldurs gate gortash #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3

[elusiveclownbox]

they're having a book-off.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate 3 #astarion

[elusiveclownbox]

the sparring session did NOT go to astarion's expectations

another quarterstaff gale! kind of a companion to this

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #astarion #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bloodweave

[elusiveclownbox]

you keep me under your spell

it's like I waited too long

but all the scars you can see

they're permanent and I'm not

I want an innocent love

the rest of time

but all the scars you can see when I take my clothes off

#beautiful man #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate 3

[elusiveclownbox]

i fell asleep during both of the other trolls movies (sorry yall), so i hate the fact that the clips I’ve seen of the new trolls movie antagonists are kinda reminding me of Edward and Lydia from TAZ...which is making me lowkey want to watch it (；ω；)

#the vibes are the same #and I’m a sucker for those freak elves #watching the first two movies was supposed to be a bonding moment between me and my mom girlfriends children #and i fELL ASLEEP #taz #taz balance #taz edward #taz lydia #the adventure zone #trolls #trolls 3 #trolls band together

[elusiveclownbox]

astarion 🦇🩸

#astarion #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate #baldurs gate astarion

[elusiveclownbox]

guys why the fuck aren't we talking about what's happening in the uk right now

nobody outside the uk is talking about this. why is nobody talking about it

#this sucks to see #how are things going backwards #i have trans friends in the UK i hope they’re doing alright #as someone who lives in an unsupportive state I’m glad to at least have a supportive community of friends #trans #lgbtq #lgbtq rights #trans pride #transgender #queer community #queer pride