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igakc · 11 months

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Take It Easy - Chapter 5

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A/N: Back from the month-long hiatus! I know I said on AO3 that this chapter would be out before the end of April but- Here we are :D A bit of a longer chapter today, almost 5000 words. Spider goes through tough shit, hope you all enjoy! <3

WARNINGS: Strong language, self-harm, depression, anxiety, sfw age regression, mention of child abuse, mention of child neglect, Spider needing a hug, SERIOUSLY IT MIGHT TRIGGER YOU!!

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Kiri never had many friends growing up. She didn't mind it, not until she grew older and realized it wasn't normal to play alone every day and to spend more time with her Grandmother than with the kids her age. When she finally gained enough courage to go up to one of the boys in the clan, asking him if he wanted to swim in the river with her, he only laughed and walked away.

Kiri cried on the way home.

Lo'ak, on the other hand, had all the friends. He was Toruk Makto's son, and even though he wouldn't become the Olo'eyktan, he would still be the most powerful warrior the clan had to offer. Lo'ak received many invites to play, and Kiri didn't know why. Her brother was sarcastic and snarky to everyone, especially her. So why did everyone work their butts off to hang around him? She'd never understand.

When Spider suddenly came up in conversation over breakfast, Kiri's ears flicked to attention. The way her father described the human boy made him seem so unbearable!

"Rude kid. Mouthy, too." He shook his head as he peeled open another fruit. "Can't blame him, though. No parents to teach him that stuff."

The next day Kiri waited outside the labs, her eyes peering through the dusty windows. She caught glimpses of 'Spider' every now and then, her tail swaying behind her. Surely the kid could go outside? He never seemed to, though. Maybe he wasn't allowed to.

She could relate to that. Her parents didn't let her out into the forest alone until she was eight, and even then they had one of the other warriors following silently behind her.

It was a whole different story the day that Norm finally caught her spying and invited her inside. Spider was sitting at one of the desks, his nose buried in a book. He looked up and locked eyes with her, before making a face and leaving the room. Kiri remembered how her heart clenched. Spider was supposed to become her friend, he was supposed to understand the feeling of being an outcast, of being strange.

Kiri cried on the way home.

Lo'ak wasn't as creepy about it, he just waltzed into the labs and waited until Spider went by on his morning chores. This time, the human actually interacted with him.

"You here to see Norm?" Spider took his headphones off and hung them around his neck. "'Cause I'm pretty sure he's jacking off in the showers."

Lo'ak remembered laughing, and then frowning at the human's dead-serious face. "Nah, lookin' for you bro." He slung his arm around Spider's shoulder, ignoring the way he flinched.

"Alright.."

That was the beginning of a very rocky friendship.

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The next time Kiri visited the labs, she kept well out of the way of Spider, deciding that the friendship wasn't worth it. She did her usual thing, visited Grace, teased Norm about something, and then left.

She stuck to that routine religiously, while also avoiding Lo'ak like the plague. It worked like this, Lo'ak being Spider's friend, Spider's only friend while Kiri stood on the side lines as per usual.

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"What're you doing?" An unfamiliar voice spoke up behind Kiri as she peered through the glass at her mother. She flinched and turned around, ready to berate the person who frightened her.

Kiri's words died on her tongue as she stared down at Spider. He looked healthier than she'd ever seen him, propped against the doorway with his arms crossed.

"Do you not understand English?" He prompted again, taking a step forward, his arms falling down to rest against his sides.

She swallowed nervously before glancing back at Grace. "I'm visiting my mother."

Spider squinted in confusion before moving to stand beside her. He reached forward, splaying his fingers open against the glass. "I thought she was just here for the science guys to test on. I didn't know she was your mother, I would've taken better care of the glass." His fingers lingered over the miniscule scratches on the almost pristine glass, a detail that even Kiri hadn't noticed.

A small smile formed on her face as Spider dipped his head politely, the tips of his fingers skimming over the glass before he slipped back into the shadows.

Kiri went home with a shit-eating grin on her face.

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Those visits became the norm after that day. Kiri would wait in a random place around Hell's Gate, and Spider would come out and they would talk. She wasn't sure why or how he was always free to do whatever he wanted, especially when Lo'ak was around all the time. A small part of her thought that he was probably trying to escape her brother's over-bearing personality. It was for the best, though. She and Spider were much more similar than Lo'ak and Spider, personality and hobby wise.

Lo'ak liked to burn things, while Spider enjoyed reading and studying. Lo'ak was the type of boy to cannon-ball off the highest ledge into the swimming pool, while Spider preferred to sit on the edge and slowly lower himself down. Lo'ak didn't like painting, he found it boring and repetitive, Spider found comfort in the structure of the activity.

Kiri understood Spider more than Lo'ak or anyone else ever would, which was why it hurt like a bitch when he stopped showing up to meet her.

One day they were listening to music together, the next she was kept waiting by the terrarium for three hours, no blonde-haired human boy in sight.

It angered her to the very core. Why did he randomly disappear? What was the reason behind it? When did everything turn to shit? Had she said something to make him upset? Had Lo'ak?

Lo'ak..

Lo'ak.

Kiri stood up from where she was waiting, ferns from Earth brushing against her skin as she rushed out of the building. She took off her breathing device and hung it up on one of the hooks before rushing out into the Pandoran night. She knew that her idiotic brother was somewhere on the base, causing trouble and ruining her one chance with Spider.

Lo'ak's voice grew louder as Kiri neared the main lab building, the bragging tone causing her ears to lower in annoyance.

"...So then I swung a fist and hit him square in the jaw! He never stood a chance against Eagle Eye." Kiri entered the code to the airlock and waited a moment for the decontamination chamber to do it's thing before continuing into the lab. She was met with the sight of Lo'ak throwing mock-punches over Norm's head. The scientist was sat at his desk in human form, muttering short 'aahs' and 'hmms' to Lo'ak's rambling.

"What did you do? Lo'ak!" She walked up to him and slammed her hand down on Norm's table, a resounding clap echoing around the lab. He turned to face her with a confused frown.

"Is this about Spider? Cuz I haven't seen him in ages!" Lo'ak leaned on the wall behind him, his tail flicking leisurely, like he wasn't worried about his 'friend' at all. He glanced his sister up and down, his frown softening. "I dunno why you're so worried, you don't know him at all."

"I know him! We're best friends, probably even closer than you two."

Lo'ak crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. "We're best buds, no girl is going to change that." Kiri slapped her forehead with her four-fingered hand, an irritated sigh leaving her lips.

"I don't care that you're 'best buds'. He's missing and we need to find him, in case he's in trouble!" Her heart pounded in worry for her lost friend, knowing that he was a major flight-risk.

Norm sighed as he stood up, barely reaching the teenagers' heights. "Alright, I heard all of that because you weren't exactly whispering." He turned to glance at Kiri. "And I understand Na'Vi, so that doesn't really work. Spider's fine, don't worry. He just needs some time to himself."

Kiri and Lo'ak looked at each other before shaking their heads. "Nope. You're lying. He's not fine and you know it. Come on , Kiri. Let's go find our best bud." He grabbed his sister's hand and the two of them left the lab block, ignoring Norm's protests determinately. Kiri looked down at their conjoined hands before sticking out her tongue in disgust and shaking him away, having had the exact same reaction when Lo'ak referred to them as 'best buds' again.

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Spider really enjoyed being alone.

It was probably his favourite thing other than studying the stars and painting. Solitude was safe, structured, and easy to control. Don't like being around people? Leave. Don't want to be lonely anymore? Hang out with people.

Structure.

Structure was something that Kiri and Lo'ak never brought with them. They would show up at random points of the day, interrupt his alone time, and then stay well past their welcome. The only reason why he kept hanging out with them was so that he'd have a chance to explore the restricted parts of Hell's Gate with the excuse that Kiri and Lo'ak were allowed.

But over time, the perks of the friendships, slowly turned into the disadvantages. Kiri never left him alone, and she never wanted to hang out anywhere but Room. Lo'ak used weird slang that he couldn't understand, and when he tried to ask about it, he only got a 'nah cuz, you gotta understand the backstory to use the words' or a 'don't worry about it!'

And now he was too far in to get out.

So he did what spiders do best.

Hide.

Whenever he saw Kiri waiting somewhere on the security cameras, he'd hide on the opposite side of base. If Lo'ak somehow caught him in the gym, he'd climb up into the air vents when he looked away to punch one of the boxing bags. It worked that way, at least Kiri and Lo'ak could move on. It would definitely hurt less than if he told them face-to-face that he didn't want to be friends anymore.

At least that's what he told himself to justify his actions.

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He climbed up into the rafters of the immersive Earth forest that was inside Hell's Gate, connected through a series of air vents to Room. This way he could sneak from place to place without Norm or Max seeing, because if they did, they'd be pissed off and he'd get grounded. Getting grounded was possibly the worst punishment he'd ever received. He was kept in his room, not Room, his BEDroom. Also known as the most boring place on Pandora.

It took about two days for him to break down in his own loneliness, and two more days for Norm to remember that he'd locked Spider's room from the outside.

Spider was sure that was a form of child abuse but there were no law enforcers on Pandora, at least none that would want to help him.

He swung his legs lazily, the artificial Earth air whooshing past his feet as he hummed. His melodic tune was probably what gave him away high up in the rafters, since no human would've been able to hear.

"Spider? That you, cuz?" Lo'ak peered up at the ceiling, his tail beginning to sway once he realised the mop of blonde curls and the familiar rustle of Spider's cargo shorts. "Kiri, look!"

Kiri narrowed her eyes as she looked up, a bright grin forming on her face.

Soon enough the three of them were bunched up on the wooden rafter, the plank bending dangerously under their weight. Spider shrivelled as he listened to the Na'Vi siblings rant about how much they missed him, guilt fogging his brain.

"Dad was going to let you visit Hometree but you just disappeared! Missed your chance, bro." Lo'ak nudged him before hissing softly, his tail twitching angrily. Kiri shook her head with a roll of her eyes as she touched her brother's shoulder softly, a sign for him to calm down.

"It's fine. I wouldn't have wanted to go anyways." Spider shrugged, putting on the most convincing relaxed smile he could muster up.

"It's not fair. You should be allowed to live with us, you're as much our brother as Neteyam." Kiri finalised, her fingers clenching into determined fists. She turned to stare Spider right in the eye. "They'll come to see that."

He shuffled uncomfortably on the rafter, Kiri's words causing the tiny hairs on his arms to prickle. What she said wasn't true at all. He wasn't anything like Neteyam, he wasn't a powerful Na'Vi warrior, he wasn't the son of Jake and Neytiri, and he most certainly wasn't their brother.

As Spider was engulfed in a hug from both sides, a strange feeling seeped into his chest. It wasn't warm or welcoming, it felt like...

It felt like he was suffocating.

He was suffocating.

He couldn't breathe.

He couldn't-

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Spider gasped hard, large gulps of oxygen entering his lungs as he sat up. For a brief moment, if only a split-second, he wondered where his mask was. That was when all of the memories of the previous days came rushing back in a frantic blur. Norm and Jake's conversation in his drunken haze, leaving his home of sixteen years, almost dying in the Pandoran forest, getting snatched up by the 'Metkayina'.

What a mess.

"Good morning, Spider." A soft voice spoke up from beside his hammock, which he had been all but wrestled into by the chief.

The days following Spider's arrival were rough. He didn't know anyone, and those who looked somewhat familiar from the forest pretended they didn't know him. What made things worse was that even though Tonowari and Ronal had ever-graciously let him stay in their home, they still treated him as if he was a toddler that didn't know how to walk.

Ronal would wake him up and the Elders of the clan would 'study' him for hours on end, trying to figure out why he was blessed by Eywa. After that Tonowari would take over and try to teach him their ways, only to fall short because Spider was useless.

The only thing that Spider actually liked about his 'new life' was the other kids his age, which he never actually thought he'd say judging by his lonely upbringing.

"Morning." He dipped his head to Tsireya, realising a moment too late that he was supposed to do that strange movement with his hand. "I look at you."

The Metkayina princess giggled under her breath. "You are very close, Spider," She raised her hand to her forehead, sweeping it down in a graceful fashion. "I see you."

Spider copied her movements, a matching smile on his face. He slid out from his hammock and stretched. He could faintly hear Aonung's obnoxious voice outside the marui, but the privacy flap made out of skimwing wings managed to block out most of the volume.

"More breathing practice?" He yawned as he pulled on his tank top that now looked more like one of the skimpy thongs the Na'Vi liked wearing. He supposed that he was supposed to be considered Na'Vi, due to the fact that he was 'blessed' or whatever. But he'd never wear that, not because he wanted to disrespect their culture, but because he wasn't in the mood to have a wedgie 24/7.

Tsireya glanced at the unkept state of his cargo shorts and messy hair, distracted by the difference in their appearances. "Not today. Mama wants to measure you for a tweng."

Spider's mouth dropped open in surprise, the mere thought of having to wear a thong making him want to curl up into a ball and die. Tsireya noticed his immediate disapproval and placed what she thought was a comforting hand on his shoulder. He flinched softly, ducking his head low. He subconsciously grappled with the end of his shirt, suddenly feeling more self-conscious than he'd ever felt before.

"It'll be alright, 'eylan." Tsireya smiled softly, pity shining clear in her gaze. Spider glanced up at what she'd said. Friend. They weren't friends. He didn't have friends. Spider only had Room, and occasionally a beer. He didn't want to have friends. He didn't want Tsireya near him anymore. She was watching him freak out. She was right there, watching him suffocate on literal air. Holy shit this was embarrassing.

He began to drown in his own self-depreciating thoughts when he felt a sudden warmth engulf him.

Tsireya rested her head on top of Spider's, humming softly under her breath. She didn't know if it would help calm the boy down, but it seemed to work on Aonung whenever Koiu said something a bit too mean during a joke.

"It is not that bad, and no one will judge you if you decide not to wear it. But your human clothing will not survive the ocean for long." Spider broke off the hug and stared at the ground, still fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "It'll be alright, Spider."

"Yeah.. I know. It'll be fine." He muttered, more to himself than to Tsireya.

Together, they headed out of the marui, ignoring Aonung and Koiu's loud jabbing words. Tsireya sent the two of them a scathing glare, mouthing a warning silently. Spider didn't notice, his ears had long since blocked out the outside world, his vision choosing to focus on a small circle ahead of him rather than his surroundings.

They made it to the healer's marui sooner than Spider would have preferred, his brain screaming at him to run away, hide, do anything to stop them from doing this. He wanted to claw at the walls and scream his heart out until they let him go back to the forest, where he could be alone and rot in his blissful ignorance.

A gentle squeeze of his hand brought him back from the rainforest, Ronal's familiar yet strikingly unpredictable green eyes boring into his brown ones. He knew, he knew that she wasn't doing this on purpose. He knew that she wasn't trying to strip him of his humanity, the only thing he had left, on purpose. This was what he needed to do to become one of the people, this was the first step. The first step into his new life.

Spider looked up to Tsireya, his shoulders tensing at the cold empty space she had left behind while he had zoned out. Of course, she wouldn't stick around for this. It was a private matter between him and Ronal. The first step into becoming one of the people.

"Relax, Spider. There is nothing to be afraid of." Ronal murmured, in a tone that she thought was comforting, but to Spider it sounded like nails on a chalkboard. He couldn't help but tense up completely as she drew the woven flaps of the marui shut, casting the pod in shadow.

Spider knew he wasn't a poet, every piece of writing he'd ever done ended up sounding like a cheesy line from a teenage romcom. He knew he wasn't a poet, but in that split-second where the shadows consumed the room, he swore he felt the tiny flame still alight in his heart flicker out.

He was afraid of the dark, especially the darkness that lurked in his brain, telling him things that would make a therapist shiver violently. Of course Ronal didn't know, it wasn't her fault that he had such childish fears, but something in him knew that she knew. She knew that he was afraid, and she relished in it. Her teeth were practically glistening with the blood pouring out from his scars-

"Come back, Spider." Ronal murmured as she continued measuring the distance between his hips, her warm fingers skimming the bare expanse of his stomach. A violent shiver wracked through his body as he sniffled, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes that he hadn't even noticed had formed. "You are safe here. It is not the darkness that you are afraid of, it is what is inside of it. I can assure you that the only thing that lurks in the shadows is me, and you have no reason to be afraid of me."

He didn't believe her.

He wanted to,

He really did.

But he couldn't.

The darkness was telling him not to.

She's lying, Spider. Don't trust her, Spider. They will all leave you, they always do. She doesn't want to help you, Spider. She wants to hurt you, just like Jake, just like Norm. You aren't safe here, Spider. You can't be safe here, Miles. They're out to get you, Miles. Don't turn your back on them, Miles, you'll end up with a spear through you.

"Almost finished." Ronal spoke, her voice louder than before. Spider felt her fingers leave his body, a new warmth tied tightly around his waist. "I have added a design from your demon clothing to make it more comfortable."

With a painful jolt he realised that he was no longer wearing his shorts, a slight breeze washing against his backside chilling him to the very bone.

He looked down, his fingers clenched into fists. A loincloth hung from his hips, reaching to his mid-thigh. The design Ronal had mentioned was actually more like a skirt, with shorts underneath. To be honest, it wasn't much of a change to his usual attire, but the material was too short for his liking and it made him feel self-conscious, like anyone could just lift it up and see his bare ass.

A strong wind struck him suddenly, making him realise that he had vacated the marui.

He really needed to stop zoning out.

Spider heard cheerful voices, familiar voices. Koiu, Aonung, Rotxo, and Tsireya were likely heading back to their marui to share a meal all together, and Spider was sure his presence would not be welcomed.

Instead he turned the other way, walking along the woven pathways, trying to avoid the amused gazes of the Metkayina people. If he didn't feel like shit before, he certainly did now.

Spider found his place near the edge of the village. His feet dangled above the water, the yellow fish seemingly scouting around them instead of having to get close.

"Eywa's blessing my ass.." He muttered, letting his fingernails dig into his thighs. Blood dripped down his leg, dripping ever so slowly into the water, staining the pristine ocean red with his sorrows. It was oddly poetic, he thought.

The sun had long since set, the cookfires had been distinguished to pitiful embers. The sea had turned bright shades of blue underneath Tonowari's feet, accompanied by the colours of the flora and fauna. He hummed softly to himself, letting his tail sway to the rhythm of the sea. He tried not to let his anger show on his face as he ate dinner with his family earlier, nodding and smiling to Aonung's jokes and Tsireya's cheerful rambling.

In reality he was furious.

The human boy hadn't returned for dinner, even after Ronal had set out a bowl made up of the most precious and desirable foods the Metkayina had to offer. It was a clear gift, to show Spider that they had welcomed him into the clan. But he had not even bothered to show up. So Tonowari waited as the sun set, so that he could hear Spider's explanation. The night went on, Spider wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Tonowari caught sight of the human boy, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he walked forward, prepared to scold him. He stalled for a moment, though. His ears perked at the sound of rippling on the water, the sound of something dripping into the ocean.

Spider wasn't aware of how hard he'd been digging his fingernails into his thighs, he wasn't aware of how much damage he'd done to his own skin.

Tonowari was aware, though. The chieftain bent down beside the boy, coaxing him to stand up as more tears spilt from his eyes, adding to the puddle at his feet. All anger dissipated as Tonowari picked the boy up, fatherly instinct replacing it.

He ignored how tense Spider was, how his cries stopped suddenly as he cradled him in his arms. He ignored the blood dripping into his fingers as he picked Spider up, ever so gently putting pressure on the wounds.

He ignored Ronal's tired and shocked face as he rushed into their marui, lying Spider down on the floor. He pushed his other children back, they were too young to see the state of the human boy's legs.

"How did this happen?" Ronal grunted, bending down to push Tonowari's hands away.

"He did it to himself, Ronal." He held up Spider's hands, letting Ronal see the blood caked under his fingernails. The Tsahik choked back a gasp as she matched his fingernails to the bleeding crescent shaped wounds on his thighs and knees.

Tonowari crouched down beside his mate, lifting up the hem of Spider’s tweng to get to the worse of his wounds. He retracted as a quiet whimper left the boy’s lips, his fingers twitching as if he was trying to pull it back down, but the rest of his body wouldn’t comply. With a mutter of apology, the chieftan covered him with a blanket. Spider went silent again.

Ronal began spreading plant mixtures on his scratches, humming softly under her breath to try to calm her other children’s nerves. Tsireya paced beside them, her tail lashing anxiously. Aonung, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care at all. He laid asleep in his hammock, one arm stretched under his head to act as a pillow as Spider was using his.

Little did they know the visions that haunted his dreams. Images of Spider’s mangled and bloody body floating in the ocean, empty eyes, bloody fingernails. The only sign that he did care about the human was the soft mutters coming from his lips, whispering the boy’s name over and over again as his tail curled around his legs.

The air was tense as Spider whimpered again, a little louder this time. A tear dripped from his eye, sliding down his cheek before finding it’s place on the woven floor of their home. That tear was followed by another, and another, until he was once again sobbing. Ronal placed the bowl of medicine aside before wrapping her arms around him, cradling him gently in her warm embrace. She walked carefully over to her hammock, large since she shared it with Tonowari. She set him down, before covering him with his blanket again.

She moved to stand up, but a small hand stopped her. Spider reached out, his eyes still closed, his fingers closing around a strand of her hair.

“It is alright, little Spider. You can rest now.” Ronal whispered as she sat back down beside her hammock, letting him hold onto her hair as he drifted off to sleep.

Spider didn’t know much about himself, but he did know that he hated the dark. He hated the darkness as a whole, and he hated what was in it. But as he felt the familiar pull of sleep tug on his conciousness, he no longer felt afraid of what it held.

Spider hated the darkness, but it felt safer with Ronal beside him.

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me doing anything but actually writing the next chapter as if it’ll magically appear on its own:

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Take It Easy - Chapter Four

First Chapter

Second Chapter

Third Chapter

Bold Italics - Na'Vi

Bold - English

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The gentle roar of the ocean crashing against the shore was always enough to put Tonowari right to sleep. As the day came to a peaceful close, the water began to settle into a peaceful rhythm. The rhythm never changed.

Not when he bonded with Ronal, not when his children were born, not even when his mother fell seriously ill. Even when life was unpredictable and things went wrong, the ocean was always there waiting for him with open arms.

But as Tonowari heard distressed yells and beating wings, he knew something was wrong. The rhythm was changing, and not for the better.

Together he and Ronal dashed down to the shoreline, hoping to Eywa that Unvu's scouting mission was successful. Unvu and Tonowari had grown up closer than two Tulkun, almost as close as brothers. So when Unvu came to him with ideas of Metkayina bonding with Ikran, he couldn't say no.

Tonowari's eyes flicked over the growing crowd in confusion, sure, his Ikran was resting on the sand beside his daughter's, but they weren't actually in his line of sight.

That was until the crowd parted, revealing Unvu and his much shorter daughter, Litsi. In her arms laid what looked like one of the palm trees if they had skinned the bark off. Pale, and with a bush on top of its head.

“Unvu, what is the meaning of this?” Ronal beat him to the question, her eyes becoming pools of red hot rage.

Unvu awkwardly raised a hand to his forehead, sweeping it down towards her. In the meantime, Litsi was fighting hard to keep the demon awake as its eyes glazed over in a daze.

“Olo’eyktan, Tsahik, while out on a scouting mission my daughter and I came across a sleeping demon. We set forth to kill it, as the way states we must, but it seemed to already be dead.” He explained in a rush, his heart hammering in his chest as he recounted the story. “It was hit by a sting-bat, Tonowari. It should have been dead.”

Tonowari stayed silent, letting his tense shoulders and stiff tail do the talking. Unvu was correct, if a Na’Vi was stung by the treacherous animal, it would cause temporary illusions and a bad spout of vomiting and weakness. But for a demon, they would die instantly.

Ronal stepped forward, placing a tentative hand on its forehead. She withdrew quickly, letting out a noise of shock.

“It has fallen ill from the sting, but it will not die. That much is true.”

A commotion broke out among the crowd of Metkayina, the few children rushing back to their mothers. A particular warrior’s voice broke out of the many. Unvu’s head swivelled around before his shoulders slumped in defeat.

“We must kill it! It is bad luck to bring a demon back to our village, it is tainted.” Nanii, Unvu’s mate, stood and shouted.

“NO! No. Look at it! It has no mask, it breathes. We will not kill it.” Litsi defied her mother with narrowed eyes, her tail sweeping over the sand was the only thing that gave away her fear. Litsi turned to face Ronal and Tonowari. “That, is the way.”

Ronal stilled at the child’s open defiance and courage, it had been years since someone had spoken to her that way. She opened her mouth to scold the child, but was quickly shut down by four foolish teenagers coming forward.

"Woah.. Koiu c'mere! Look at it!" Aonung snickered, his tail swaying in sick delight as he beckoned his friend forward to look at the demon.

"It is so small- It is a wonder how it has enough space in its lungs to breathe." Koiu agreed, a grin forming on his face. Koiu's sharp fangs poked out of behind his lip, almost breaking the skin with how happy he looked.

"Aonung, Koiu do not." Tsireya scolded the two with swift smacks to their necks. She was always known as the 'nice' one of the group, no matter how scary the bully was, she'd always stand up for the victim. In this case, it was the pale-skinned demon that slept so soundly in Litsi's arms.

Tonowari stifled his chuckle, knowing that it wasn't the time for mischief. He wrapped his fingers around Aonung and Koiu's arms, dragging them back a few steps before making it clear they were to leave. His daughter seemed to get the message quicker, her retreating form already having made it to their family pod in the fading sunlight.

"Bring it to the infirmary, brother. We will speak there." His voice dropped to a whisper, glancing in between Litsi and her father. Somehow Nanii always included herself in private business, because she too followed along beside them.

Ronal side-eyed the demon once more before setting off towards the infirmary.

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The puddle had grown a lot bigger since Spider had fallen asleep. He guessed it had rained again, and now he had ended up in a much larger body of water. Hell- He'd probably been swept into a river. Lord knows where he was now.

The warmth had gone, for real this time. All that was left behind was the lapping of water at his skin, and the chill that clawed deep into his bones. Even though it hurt and made the hairs in his nose singe with pain, he kind of missed the warmth. It began to feel nice in the breeze, atop the Ikran. The wind had buffeted him until he felt his fingers and toes freeze, but the warmth kept him away from frost-bite, and its gentle hands pushed his curls out of the way.

In a twisted way, it was nice.

Spider honestly thought he wasn't going to wake up, he thought he had passed on to whatever ancestral plane was waiting for him. Maybe he'd see his parents there, or his older brother who he never ended up meeting. Something about a battle with Jake Sully. Must've been in the marines together.

He was brought rather harshly into a memory of himself, younger than any human child would be able to form memories. His tiny little fingers were the only thing that wasn't blurred, waving around in front of him. God- Had he always been this useless?

A kind voice spoke up above him, and then there she was. His mother, his real mother. Her brown, thick hair flowed effortlessly around her shoulders. Spider felt envy at how dark and beautiful her hair was, she surely could've fit in with the Na'Vi easier.

"Ferris, meet your new little brother. Miles Junior." His mother's smile was almost blinding, but he just couldn't stop staring. He noticed the way her teeth were just that little bit crooked, the stray freckle that had been painted a few centimeters from the group, and even how her eyes softened as she looked down at him. Like he was actually worth something.

"How come he gets Dad's name and I get Ferris?" Ferris. His older brother was right, it was a strange name. That was when his thick head popped into the frame. Nevermind, the name suited the face. Curly brown hair, green eyes, wearing a military tank top with Miles Quaritch's dog-tags tied around his neck. Ferris was right, he looked like the perfect son for the Colonel, he deserved the crap name.

"Ferris was your Mama's brother before she skipped across the universe to be here. Be proud of the name we gave ya', even though little Miles' one is better." His father barked a laugh, the sound of coffee being sipped noisily in the background. Ferris scowled before shaking his head, a small smile making its way onto his chiseled features. He couldn't have been a day over sixteen in this memory. Spider sort of wished their paths could've crossed for longer, he seemed cool.

A warmth bubbled up in Spider's chest at the sound of his father complimenting his name, this warmth wasn't painful or grabby. It fizzled and made his heart flip in his chest.

"Anyways, little Miles, we are all so excited for you to grow up. Your first words will be 'Mama', not papa or Ferris. That's right, little Miles," Spider's mother cooed at him. "You're a Mama's boy, all mine. My perfect little Miles."

My perfect little Miles.

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Spider fucking hated the dark.

Ever since he was a little kid, he had dreaded lights out. The hallways echoed more during the night, and in every corner it felt like there were beady eyes watching his every move, waiting for him to make a mistake so they could swoop in and snatch him away.

That was how he felt at that very moment when everything around him was dark. There wasn't any warmth or any cold, it was just darkness. It surrounded him, blocked his eyesight, clogged his nose, and choked him mercilessly. It made his skin prick and his eyebrows twitch with fear.

There was nothing.

He was alone.

He didn't even have Room anymore to keep him safe. There were no lamps or twinkle lights, the stars weren't there to shine their faint light on him, and Kiri and Lo'ak's bioluminescent freckles weren't there to guide the way.

He was all alone with the darkness.

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The darkness was fading, and Spider tried to grasp onto it for dear life. Sure, it made him scared. And sure, it killed him inside to open his eyes and be met with a void of nothingness.

But he had grown used to the darkness and the fear that followed, he didn't want to let it go. He didn't know what was on the other side of it, either. It could be the Sully's, it could be Norm waking him up for lessons, it could be the warmth coming back to torture him again.

Spider missed Room.

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There was a bop, a fizz, and a hiss before a sudden burst of light shot through the darkness. It shone its beams across the mist, burning it away into the sky nonchalantly.

When Spider woke up the first thing he thought was how brown the sky looked. It seriously looked like crap. Like actual brown, creamy crap.

Like if someone was to defecate into a toile-

"Ah. So the demon wakes. I must admit, I was hoping you would not." A strange, accented voice dragged him out of his thoughts. That's when he realized that the brown above him wasn't the sky, because when he looked closer he recognized rows upon rows of intricate weavings.

Spider flinched and then sat up, his eyes widening into full moons as he caught sight of a group of fully grown Na'Vi half-hidden in the shadows of whatever structure he was trapped in. Their eyes held hatred like he had never known, reaching deep into his soul, kind of resembling Neytiri's.

The woman who had spoken turned to look at who could only be described as mighty, a frown on her face. "Does it not speak, Unvu?"

"It does. It spoke while it was asleep, Tonowari heard it too." Unvu defended himself quickly, he too, turned to the Olo'eyktan for help.

Tonowari raised his hand, signaling silence. "Yes, I have heard it speak. Although it seems to be hesitant now."

Across the pod Ronal began to speak, immediately casting her supreme authority over them. "Maybe it does not speak the language of the people.. Have any of you thought of this? It is a... Human.. after all."

When no one replied, she let out a sort of half-hiss half-growl. Like she was calling them idiots without actually saying it.

The pod went quiet after that, probably considering the fact that Spider didn't know any Na'Vi, and they didn't know any English. Maybe they'd take him back to the forest, coming to the conclusion that he wasn't worth the trouble. Or maybe they'd kill him there since he was a 'demon'.

Spider didn't understand. Why would they go to the trouble of taking him from one prison cell, just to dump him in another? It didn't make sense.

Something must've happened. Something big must've gone down in that forest, something that would've convinced them to take him.

But he wasn't anything special, just a kid who ran away from home. Sure, he was strong, fast, and agile. But that wouldn't matter inside the pod. Sooner or later he'd wither away, especially because his mask would run out of battery sooner or later.

Speaking of- Where was his mask?

And why was he breathing?

Shit.

Pandoran air was poisonous to humans, and he'd been breathing it for god knows how long!

Panic seized his chest as he sprang up onto his feet, uncaring of how the Na'Vi around him matched his stance, but they held spears and had their fangs bared.

"Stay back, demon!" Nanii hissed, pointing the tip of her spear at Spider's chest. Spider looked down at it before hissing back, spraying spit bubbles towards the woman hatefully.

"Move!" His fingers balled into fists as he swung his hands wherever they met flesh, although he knew he wasn't doing any damage to the fully grown warriors. They were very different from the punching bags he was used to training on, their skin was thicker and they were about double the height. Unvu watched the scene with a frown on his face before his brain kick-started into action. Within seconds the demon was secured back onto the ground, still yelling profanities.

Unvu turned to look at his mate. Nanii was silent for a moment before she burst out into a fit of laughter. "And here I thought that the sky people were supposed to be strong. What a sorry excuse for a warrior." She leaned her spear against the wall of the marui, her hand coming to rest on Unvu's shoulder from behind.

Tonowari crept over as well, waiting until Spider's chest deflated and he had relaxed on the floor before speaking. "It is not a warrior, then. All children are taught by their parents before becoming warriors. This demon holds no strength, and no skill. Therefore, not a warrior."

Silence settled over the pod once again.

"I have skills." Spider muttered, biting back a harsher response. These people were talking like he wasn't right in front of them. Spitting some shit about how he didn't have any strength or skills. He had skills. He could knit, paint, swim, fight, cook, and climb! He'd like to see them try to climb a rock wall that had most of the rocks missing from it! He would've liked to see them cook a full meal with the rations left behind from the war! They didn't know anything about him, so why did they get to judge him?

Ronal turned to the demon, her eyes narrowed and calculating. "It needs rest," She glared at Nanii as the other woman began to speak. "Then we will interrogate it."

Unvu held his mate's hand and together they left the infirmary, most likely going down to eat the evening meal with their daughter. The two remaining Na'Vi turned to look at Spider again, giving the human enough time to sit up.

A tiny grunt left Spider's lips as his neck protested the movement. He reached back to rub it, while still keeping his eyes on them.

Silence settled heavily over them like a thick blanket of fog. That was until Spider broke it.

"So.. When I can I go back to the forest?"

Tonowari coughed as if to try to clear the tension, but it seemed like he choked on it. It was always obvious that he stalled until Ronal would get impatient and answer the hard questions for him. It worked.

"We have reason to believe that you, a demon child, have been blessed by Eywa," She waited a moment to let the information sink in. "For that very reason, you will be staying here until we figure out why the Great Mother has wasted her time on you."

Spider stared down at his hands, resting in his lap. His chest fell as he sighed, a clear sign of acceptance. He had kind of guessed he wouldn't be allowed to go back, they probably thought he was some sort of spy. Sure, the Omatikaya were well-versed in humanity, but he wasn't so sure that this teal-coloured clan was.

"I'm not blessed by Eywa. Ma'am, I'm just a human. Nothing special about me." It hurt to admit it out loud, but it was going to come out sooner or later, best to break the news to them now before they put too much faith in him.

A small smile rose to Ronal's face as she leaned forward, almost like she was about to share a secret only he was allowed to know.

"If you are as ordinary as you say, why do you breathe the same air as us? Why do you speak the language of the people?" Ronal watched as Spider went through what felt like the five stages of grief.

Denial - No. He couldn't be blessed by Eywa. No, she was lying. They were all lying. He couldn't be- He wasn't 'Spider, miracle child' he was 'Spider? Who's Spider? Oh- That weird loner kid?'.

Anger - They were lying to him! First, they take him from his home, then they lie to him about actually having a purpose. How dare they?

Bargaining - Maybe if he just proved he was nothing special, he could go back to his old life. It was a shit idea of his to just leave with no warning, he should've just stayed back with Norm and Max.

Depression - He should've just stayed back. Maybe if he had stayed back, things would be better. Sure, he'd still be fucking lonely, but at least he'd have Room. At least there would be hope for him. Now he was still lonely, but it felt so much more than that. His heart felt like it was sinking deep below the surface, and with it went all of the joy he had every felt. It left behind a hollow husk of a human.

Acceptance - That one still hadn't been put into action yet.

"The great mother has brought you here for a reason, and she does not make mistakes. You'll do well to remember that."

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A/N: Good old filler chapter that took two weeks to write and edit. Whoops. Anyways- Hope you enjoyed, and I thought I'd just clear up somethings before people ask about it.

Nanii, Unvu, and Litsi are all original characters that I made up because I got carried away with planning.

Koiu, (previously mentioned alongside Aonung) is also an original character that is Aonung's closest friend. Rotxo is still there don't worry my fellow Rotxo stans! He's closer with Tsireya in this.

Nanii, Unvu, and Litsi all have their own Ikrans due to the fact that Unvu thought it would be a smart idea for the Metkayina to have scouts above the water after the Great Battle in the first movie.

Next chapter should be out sometime before the end of the month, I'm not too reliable when it comes to writing.

Anyways I love you all <3

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Tag List:

@onlyreadz @bananafruityawne @yesthisismycurrenthyperfixation @meenawrites @shinylittlenothing @little-box-of-autism @tensitensi @woahmanseriously @seamosfeliceschicosporlagloria

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igakc · 1 year

Text

Take It Easy - Chapter 3

First Chapter

Second Chapter

A/N:

Bold - English || Italic Bold : Na'Vi

'What is a neglected child? He is a child not planned for, not wanted. Neglect begins, therefore, before he is born.'

"If you're watching this, then I'm not around anymore."

"I couldn't say any of this to your face, too embarrassing. For you, not for me. You're never good at hearing how horrible you are."

"But you are. You are. You're horrible."

"And you're fucking useless. So I thought I'd leave you a guide to life without me."

"You have to turn the alarms off in the morning, okay? Because if you don't it'll wake up Norm and Max. They don't get up before 7:30, the alarms go off at 7:15. Remember that."

"Remember the pin for the airlock, it's 2154. The same pin as the computer password. To reset it, you have to press 'alarm', 'settings', 'pin', and then press 'reset'. It's really easy."

"Eh- Who am I kidding? You know this. Never taught me it, though."

"Make sure to leave Room the way it is. I won't be back, but I want it to be there in case I do. Room has its own pin, it locks from the outside so once you close it, you won't be able to open it. Because you never asked for the pin. Guess you didn't care, huh?"

"Feed Lo'ak and Kiri when they come around, I left chocolate and a few cans of tomato soup in my section of the kitchen. They're above the fridge, you have to use a special key that I've left on my pillow to open it."

"Make sure they know that this isn't their fault. You know what? Just send them away if they ask about me. Don't tell them anything, because I know you'll just lie."

"You're fucking horrible. I don't care who's watching. You're all horrible."

"This is Miles Socorro, signing off."

There was a clicking noise, a beep, and then the screen went dark. Spider was gone, he was gone. Just like that.

Norm stared at the blank screen for a moment too long, before hitting the replay button. It was the fourteenth replay. 7:15 had come and gone long ago, but he hadn't turned off the alarm. It blared throughout the labs, the cafeteria, and 'Room' presumably.

Spider had left the base. He wasn't allowed to leave the base. He didn't know anything about the forest. He would die out there, hell- He could probably be dead already.

But the scary thing for Norm, was that he couldn't muster up the feeling to care. Spider was gone, the kid he promised to protect, but he didn't care. He knew he should've cared, he knew Spider's real parents would've cared. Norm didn't, though. If anything, he felt kind of... Happy.

He wouldn't have to worry about whether the kid got drunk again, or if he snapped at Lo'ak and Kiri. He wouldn't ever have to watch Jake calm down Neytiri after Lo'ak got hurt on one of the rock walls. He and Max could get on with their studies, and they would have more space for their equipment once they emptied out the old gym.

Yeah. That was it. He was happy.

It was happiness that made his chest tight and his eyes sting as he watched Spider tell him off for being useless. That's what it was.

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"Oh for fucks sake." Spider bit back a more colourful remark as his boot got stuck in another muddy puddle. He spent years wanting to be out in the forest, but now that he was, it was kind of crap.

Sure, it was wonderous and stretched farther than his eyes could see, and he supposed the way the sun's rays filtered through the leaves was sort of pretty.

But it had rained the night before, and now he couldn't move through a patch of coral-coloured spiral plants without toppling over into yet another puddle. His tank top and shorts were soaked and clinging to his skin, now completely different shades.

His years spent in Room training himself to climb and run fast helped him move somewhat gracefully through the forest, although the feeling of being watched never left.

The further he went, the more he felt the pull of home tearing at his soul. He chose to ignore it, figuring that once he'd gone far enough, the string connecting him to the Sully's and Norm would snap. He would be free to do what he wanted, until his exo-pack ran out of course.

Spider had taken extra batteries, masks, and a few portable chargers. It wouldn't last him nearly long enough, but it would stretch far enough to keep him alive until he decided to end it. One thing was for certain, though. He was never going back to them ever again.

Spider Socorro was many things, but a coward was not one of them.

His identity may have been based around a spider, but there was not going to be any crawling back. His decision to leave was a one-way ticket. There would be no going back.

"No going back. No going back." He chanted under his breath as he once again stepped into a muddy puddle. "No going back."

One-way ticket. One-way ticket. One-way ticket.

As he curled up in that very puddle, he repeated his mantra over and over again until the sounds of the forest faded into a distant mumble.

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Spider felt warm hands grabbing at his fingers, specifically his pinky finger. He tried to shake them off but found with a grunt that his limbs laid limp and useless. The warmth spread to his back and neck, pinching and grabbing intrusively. It began to feel too hot.

It was burning.

The warmth burned through his veins, into his eyes and ears, up the strands of his hair, pouring out of his mouth like lava.

Burning, burning.

The hands didn't stop, they just kept pinching him. His ears ached, his eyelids were surely bruising with how much they were poked, and even his scalp held pain like no other part of his sore body.

The one thing he hadn't felt was that the mask he needed to breath with was no longer secured to his face.

The warmth had swept it away without him noticing, the warmth knew it would kill him, but it still did it. The warmth was surprised when he kept breathing just the same, and it let out a tiny noise of shock.

The warmth's voice called out into the distance, it was sweet and fresh sounding, nothing like how the warmth felt. Spider could hear it echoing in his ears, almost like how Norm's voice sounded when Spider used to press up against the closed doors to listen.

"The lonely demon breathes, Papa!"

"What in Eywa's name are you speaking of, child? It does not breathe, it is dying. That is the way."

A rough voice cut in, deep and commanding like Jake's. There was a sudden shake to his shoulders, like 'Papa' was trying to kill him faster.

"That is not the way, Papa. The way states that if the demon breathes, we do not kill. This demon breathes our air, we do not kill it."

The rough voice growled, followed by a hiss.

"We will take it to the Tsahik for trial, but if she decrees it to be untrue, it will die."

"Papa no-"

"We leave now. The Omatikaya already have our scent, it is dangerous here. I will take the demon."

And then he was flying through the air, the cold rush of wind hitting him like a ton of bricks. He gasped and gasped for it, the blessing of the frosty air entering his lungs as he was lifted higher and higher.

His eyes still refused to open, though he imagined he was soaring high above the tree-tops, looking down on the forest as he was swept away into another life-form.

But in reality, it wasn't any of those things.

And deep down Spider knew that, but he had spent sixteen years creating fantasies in his head, he could create more to pass the time.

He faintly heard the beating of Ikran wings, which he had only heard when Neteyam had come to pick up Lo'ak and Kiri instead of their parents. The mighty warrior, as they called him. And boy, was he mighty. Wild hair whipping around in the wind as he landed on Meoauniaea, meaning 'living at one with nature'.

Spider remembered feeling so goddamn jealous of Neteyam that day because he had caught the admiring stares of Norm and all of the other scientists. For the past week, he had been trying and trying and trying to get Norm to notice his achievements. But no, all it took was Neteyam landing on his Ikran for everyone to forget about poor little Spider.

He realized with a painful flash that all of those minor details wouldn't matter anymore, because wherever the warmth was taking him would most likely end with him dead. Soon enough the warmth would notice that Spider wasn't special, that he was just a kid who couldn't even tie his shoelaces properly. One of the bunny ears always ended up bigger than the other.

"Do not fall asleep, demon. I will not catch you if you fall." The rough voice spoke up from somewhere ahead of Spider, and the human kid faintly felt the twitch of tail on his leg.

"Papa stop being cruel to it! You saw the atokirina, it is blessed by Eywa." The sweet voice was behind him now, its gentle melody lulling his head into a gentle rhythm.

"Hmph."

"Stubborn old man."

"What was that, child?"

"Nothing, Papa."

The two voices' interactions reminded him of Jake and Kiri. That memory made a small smile come to Spider's face as his neck finally gave out, resulting in his forehead hitting the warmth in front of him.

He heard a grumble, a quiet laugh, and then the rough voice was shushing his daughter.

And in that moment, maybe for the first time in a while, Spider didn't feel so alone.

A/N: Y'all- Thank you all so much for the love <3 I didn't expect this many people to read anything I write, and it feels amazing to be able to actually make a tag list! Thank you to @meoemeowkk for teaching me how to link chapters :D The next step is trying to make a Masterlist. <3

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igakc · 1 year

Text

Take It Easy - Chapter 2

Spider plopped down at his desk with a heavy sigh. He didn't mean to snap at Kiri and Lo'ak, or maybe he did. Nonetheless, it was still mean and he'd have to apologize to them the next time they visited. Well- That is talking in the sense that they will visit again. After his little outburst he was sure that they'd given up on him. Although he was used to it, 'it' being the abandonment, it didn't stop the pain that lingered in his chest.

But like he said, he was used to it. So he'd do what he always did. He'd move on with his life.

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The sun hadn't risen yet, which meant that no one on base was awake. Except for the few who strayed a bit too far from their beds, like Spider Socorro. The kid never slept through the night, it was almost like he was some sort of nocturnal species. He'd go to sleep at a late hour and be awake by 4:00AM, perched on top of his rock wall or scrubbing his hair in the showers. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't sit still.

No one had asked him why, and he wasn't even sure he had an answer for whoever would. Maybe he'd say that being active kept him happy, or it felt good to be doing something. But the real truth was that if he sat still for too long, he would be opening himself up to the thoughts that darkened whatever horizons he found himself facing. The thoughts that haunted him every night, the thoughts that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't belong anywhere. Ever.

Not the labs, not airlock, not Room, not Earth, and definitely not Pandora.

And those were scary thoughts for a sixteen-year-old to go through, especially one who hadn't received an ounce of affection in his life. Especially one who-

Crap. He'd been sitting too long.

Spider rubbed away the sorry excuses for tears that had been forming in his eyes. He let his hands wander back down to rest on his desk, the windows at the top of Room casting beams of moonlight around him. It made for a pretty melancholic scene, it could've been an album cover. The song would probably be called 'come pick up your depressed and lonely child please'.

Spider cracked a smile at that one.

He shook his head before standing up, the legs of his chair scraping along the wooden floor noisily. Luckily there were no Na'Vi on base. Otherwise, he would've been caught. Advanced hearing and all.

His fingers skimmed over one of the many bookshelves, lightly tracing each and every cover. Spider had no intention of reading them, he had outgrown his reading a long time ago. Back on Earth, he wouldn't need to know about the stars, since according to Norm, he wouldn't have been able to see them anymore anyways.

Norm was a pretty smart guy, according to Jake. The man possessed the personality perfectly suited for a scientist, but something was missing in him. A gaping hole.

Spider knew that hole all too well. Hell- He lived in it.

But unlike Norm's habit of trying to fill up the hole with healthy things like studying or cooking, Spider filled the hole with junk. Porn magazines that he stole from Jake's old room, expired beer that made him feel more nauseous than drunk, the occasional wallow in self-pity with sad music playing in the background. Sometimes Spider would try to do something worth while, maybe clean up the lab one day or cook everyone a nice dinner, but it always ended up ruined. He couldn't even blame anyone, because every time it was his mistake.

He'd knocked over a beaker of acid over important paper-work one time, and almost burnt down half of Hell's Gate the other time.

But at least he tried.

That Spider was long gone now, though. That was the Spider who tried to get the scientists to like him, that was the Spider who wanted the scientists to like him.

All that was left now was an empty shell of a human being.

An empty shell that kept zoning out when he needed to focus.

"Focus." He whispered to himself, snapping out of his daze. He looked down to check his watch. "Only two more hours until 7AM. That's time for one book."

Or one beer.

Spider bit his tongue as if deep in thought, before letting his shoulders curl inwards. Beer it is.

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"What the fuck happened, Norm? You said he was fine here!"

"How was I supposed to know he was getting drunk every night, Jake? Did you want me to check all of the security cameras before going to sleep? We thought we could trust him."

"I can't believe this. Spider could've died. I expected you to be more vigilant!"

"You expected me to be more vigilant? I didn't even want to look after Quaritch's kid, Jake! I've tried my best, he's impossible to communicate with. I'd like to see you try to talk with him."

"You know how Neytiri feels about him-"

"Neytiri isn't here though, is she?"

"What's that supposed to mean-"

"It means that Neytiri isn't a factor in this. This is between me and you. Who's going to take care of Spider until he turns eighteen, because we're sure as hell not going to do it?"

Take care of Spider?

He could take care of himself, thank you very much! He'd been doing it for the past sixteen years. Jake never tried to be his father or stay longer than necessary. The Na'Vi kept Spider just out of reach, just close enough for him to get attached and then thrust aside once again. It sucked balls.

"Norm. You said you could handle this, you promised. Neytiri and I have Tuk now, we can't be raising another kid." Jake Sully sighed, one hand perched on his hip, the other on his forehead.

Norm peered up at him with a scowl on his face, the sight reminded Jake of when he first joined the Avatar program, when Norm despised him. "Well what if I don't want to handle it anymore, Jake? Max and I have studies to do, we have jobs! Spider is old enough to live in the forest with your family, we have Exo-Packs that will last long enough."

Spider listened to the conversation in his curled-up state, not bothering to move an inch to let his presence known. He wanted to hear this conversation, he knew it was a turning point in his life.

Norm had never admitted his dislike for Spider, and that's what kept Spider there. Alive. Long story short, Norm's tolerance of Spider kept him from placing his life in the hands of Eywa.

So what did Spider really have to live for if not for Norm?

He knew it sounded stupid, he knew it sounded absolutely ridiculous to put an important aspect at such risk. But Norm was the only one who looked out for him, in a very basic sense, but still.

Spider's eyelids fluttered as he tried to contain the tears shoving mercilessly at them. Jake's response was long-awaited, and Spider knew it would just be another punch to his already bruised gut.

"I-.."

"I don't want Spider with my family. Lo'ak and Kiri are preparing for their Iknimaya, and Tuk is still growing up. Not to mention how Neytiri would feel about it.."

"I don't think it's a good idea for him to be with us anymore."

Well there you have it then.

I don't think it's a good idea for him to be with us anymore.

Jake couldn't have been clearer.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the room, heavy like the fog that clouded Spider's mind. Oh, how he wished he could've been anywhere else. In Room painting on his wall, reading a book about the newest constellation he'd discovered, swimming in the training pools.

It's funny how he never realized how much he missed Room until he wasn't in it anymore.

It was beginning to feel like he wouldn't get to see Room again, his closest friend, and it was a fucking room.

That's all Room was. A room.

A room that he had convinced himself was living. A room where he felt safe and content, and sometimes lonely. But Room kept him warm when Norm couldn't, and Room never turned him away.

And. It. Was. A. Fucking. Room.

Maybe Spider would be happy if his only friend wasn't a room inside an old military base. Maybe that's what he needed, a friend. A friend on Earth.

Norm let out a string of incomprehensible curses before storming out of the room, leaving Jake and Spider alone.

"Fuck this shit." Jake turned and walked off in the opposite direction, and Spider wasn't sure it was the right one. Oh well, at least now he could wallow in his own filth.

Only then did he open his eyes. And boy, was it horrible.

His vision was hazy, and it just wouldn't focus on anything. His stomach was coiled tight and cramping painfully, a dull ache crawling its way up his chest and throat. He realized what was happening a little too late as he sat up, thick streams of vomit pouring out from his mouth as he gagged and wretched.

"Fan-fucking-tastic." Spider muttered, wiping his mouth weakly with the back of his hand. He slid off the table, a sigh leaving his lips. As he walked in the same direction as Jake, he created a checklist in his head.

Shower and get this disgusting vomit off.

Pack up his things.

Say goodbye to Room.

Leave.

It would be easier said than done.

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*me giving the most traumatized characters more trauma*

Anyways- ONE OF MY FAVOURITE AVATAR WRITERS REPOSTED THE FIRST CHAPTER!?!?!? WHAT? I'm sobbing.

Also Spider is so Merida from Brave and Rapunzel from Tangled idc if they're princesses :) The wall of stars is heavily based off of Rapunzel's paintings of the lanterns because why not?

Oh also- Does anyone know how to add a link to a chapter on Tumblr? I'm so lost :')

#Miles “Spider” Socorro #Avatar #ATWOW #Jake Sully #Norm Spellman #Max Patel #Sad #Depressing Stuff #lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan #kiri te suli kìreysì'ite #tuktirey te suli neytiri'ite #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neytiri te tskaha mo'at'ite #Spider Socorro #Spider Avatar #James Cameron #Avatar 2009 #Drunk #Alcohol

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igakc · 1 year

Text

Take It Easy - What If Spider Never Left Hell's Gate?

Spider always wished he would be able to leave the lab, to finally venture out into the forest he had grown up hearing about. But no, he was stuck inside a metal box with a group of scientists who never batted an eye toward him, other than when he got into trouble, of course.

He knew the rules, and he followed them. Day after day, week after week, year after year. He followed them. He watched the clock tick by from inside the labs, he peered over Norm's shoulder as the older man worked, he even began to study astrology. Max began to call him the Man Of The Stars.

Life fell into a steady rhythm after his sixteenth birthday. He'd wake up and hit the old RDA-made gym, shower, do his long list of chores, and head to work. The rhythm never, ever changed. And he was finally okay with it. He stopped looking out the window, he stopped wondering what mysteries the forest held, and he stopped thinking of the yellow-eyed girl who haunted his dreams.

That was until the rhythm got absolutely fucked up the day Jake Sully walked into the labs. The behemoth Na'Vi entered through the airlock and scared the shit out of Spider, causing him to drop all of his astrology books.

"Dang it. Can you watch where you're fuckin' going, dude? Norm's gonna kill me if I damage these." Spider bent down to pick up the books, flicking his curly hair out of his face with a huff. He flinched slightly as a heavy hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"What did you just say to me, kid?" The human boy's eyes widened as he looked up at Jake. Spider swore that if he had a tail, it would be between his legs at that very moment. "Might want to watch your mouth 'round me."

Spider opened his mouth to reply but it was cut short as he looked at his watch. "Oh for fuck- I'm late for work!" He sprinted off in the opposite direction, leaving Jake alone in the entranceway. The boy leaped over the stray carts and tables, sliding underneath some of the scientist's legs as he made his way to Room.

'Room' was the word he used for the massive gym building that housed everything he needed. There was a jungle gym, a rock-climbing wall, rows and rows of bookshelves, a telescope, and a desk.

On the farthest side of Room, was his art wall. It was covered in colourful paintings that he'd crafted over the years, most of them were of the stars he saw.

Spider set his books down on his desk before walking over to the art wall, setting his hands on his hips as if deep in thought. Over the expanse of his lifetime, he only ever drew the stars, never actually seeing them. He wasn't ever allowed outside of airlock, even on his birthdays. Sure, Norm and Max promised to take him on their supply runs, but every time they left him alone in Room. It was starting to feel like Room was his only friend.

Even though he had left the life of wonderment and curiosity behind, a small part of him still wanted to get out of Room and see the stars. Or see anything, for that matter. Anything but Room, or the labs, or airlock. He wanted to climb something other than the rock wall, he wanted to study something other than the stars in his books, he wanted to be on the other side of airlock.

He wanted to be outside.

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Spider.. Spider- SPIDER! SPI-

Spider rolled over and smacked Lo'ak over the head with a scowl. His legs were still very much tangled in his sheets, so when he attempted to get out of his bed, he ended up banging his head into the wall with a grunt.

"Hey monkey boy! Dad said we could visit you today." Kiri lifted him up by the back of his neck with a grin. "You sleep in awfully late."

Spider grumbled angrily. He walked over to his chest of draws and pulled out some of Norm's old jean shorts that he had cut himself, pulling them on quickly. They reached just below his knees and were so loose he had to tie a shoestring around his waist. He then donned his tank top to replace it with yet another tank top. But oh- This one was so different! It was just one shade darker than the other! Score.

He then pulled on his shoes and military-issued boots. Nothing seemed to work to cover his teenager stink, so he ended up over-spraying his lynx deodorant. Next was his hair which had been cut into a very unruly mop of curls, which Kiri tied into a man-bun atop his head.

"C'mon bro, show us your life in this.. Shack!" Lo'ak grinned.

Spider rolled his eyes before opening his bedroom door, setting off in the direction of Room in silence. Lo'ak and Kiri were nice and all, but they didn't seem to understand the differences they had. Spider was human, while they were Na'Vi. And to be honest, he didn't really like being around them. All he wanted to do was work and chores, so he could play in Room. That was literally all he needed to do before he got sent back to earth on his eighteenth birthday. He could finally be back where he belonged.

"Uh. This is Room. I work in here most of the time, don't touch anything." Spider pulled the curtains covering his paintings down, inspecting the newest set of stars he'd painted the night before.

Kiri's jaw dropped open in awe. Her thin fingers skimmed over the paint, feeling each groove and dip of the concrete wall. "You painted these all yourself?"

Spider nodded.

"They are very good, Spider. You should keep up with it. Maybe some of the village Elders might want some?"

That drew a pretty loud snort from Spider. "I can't give them away, they're literally etched in stone." He walked forward to stand beside Kiri, his voice lowering to a pained whisper. "There's no real talent here anyway."

Spider, who always saw himself as nothing but an unwilling addition to the humans, never had someone to praise him or congratulate him when he did something good. Spider spent his entire life alone in Room, and at first he told himself that he was worth something.

'Don't worry Spider, Norm doesn't hate you. What he told Max wasn't true!'

'Don't worry Spider, Jake wasn't lying when he said your paintings were good!'

But Norm did hate him, and his paintings were crap. So there was no point convincing himself that he was worth something.

"C'mon bro! These are awesome, definitely better than Tuk's." Lo'ak snickered, slapping Spider on the back. The human boy gritted his teeth together and turned away from the Na'Vi teenagers. They didn't get it, they never could get it. They had parents, they had siblings, they had friends. He had nothing.

"Can you fuck off for once?" The words had left his mouth before he could stop them.

Lo'ak's grin dropped, and Kiri flinched away from him.

An incredible silence settled over the three, and it stretched on for way too many minutes before a voice spoke up on the other side of Room.

"Lo'ak, Kiri. Your mom says its time to go home." Norm poked his head through the double doors. Spider stomped toward the man and shoved him out of the way. He had no clear idea of where he was going, but he knew he couldn't be around them anymore.

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It'll get more interesting I promise <3

Chapter 2

#Miles “Spider” Socorro #Avatar #ATWOW #Jake Sully #kiri te suli kìreysì'ite #lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #tuktirey te suli neytiri'ite #Miles Quaritch #Norm Spellman #max patel #Spider Socorro #James Cameron #Angst #Emo

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