notsomonogamous

[notsomonogamous]

All I want from the SW fandom is for my dumb touch-starved puppies to cuddle and find out they need each other.

(Is this the herald? It’s the herald. This is just the warmup sketching. Prepare for an influx of OT3 feels.)

★ star wars tag | store | commission | patreon ★

#star wars #fandom #love itttt

[notsomonogamous]

#cover the bad in positive

[notsomonogamous]

I haven’t been on this blog for awhile. I haven’t wanted to face the past or make more silly, sad posts. But I’m drunk and I’m confused. I don’t know when it happened- but things aren’t right with me. More so than before. I’m scared to breathe a word of it to anyone- because that would be acknowledging it- bringing it to life. Maybe it’s just the seasonal inflation of mental illness- but as always I’m scared it’s more permanent than that. I’m tired of always fighting this battle- but maybe I should just embrace the muse it brings- and keeping moving forward. But I’m just so exhausted. I don’t want to do it forever. I don’t know if I can do it forever.

#negative // #sorry

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JELLIES!!!

#jellyfish #pictures of sea life are very calming

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Maple leaf dragon is after your maple syrup

#dragon #maple leaf dragon

[notsomonogamous]

I literally don't think my anxiety has ever been this relentless before other than when there were big crises in my life.

I just get anxious sitting at home for no reason and it feels terrible and I feel terrible and I think everything I do is terrible and will cause people to not like me and it is not good.

I really need this medicine to work.

But it can take up to 6 weeks to start noticing a difference. I need it to work faster. I need to not feel so awful all the time.

#sorry for being so negative here I don't like to post this to my main #anxiety //

[notsomonogamous]

Cute cute things are happening in my life but I am still struggling with depression. Let's hope the medication I started helps relieve the symptoms.

On a positive note, yesterday I asked the cute boy to be my boyfriend. He said yes. Now I have two cute boyfriends ahhhhh I'm so lucky.

#medication // #depression //

[notsomonogamous]

The date with the cute boy went really well! We smoked a delicious strawberry and mint flavored hookah, and ate at this delicious taco place I had never been to before. Then we went back to his house and smooched and talked a lot and it was really nice.

Then we hung out again last night and we had a really good time. We did some crafting with his friend, then we all drank and smoked, went to a bar, and just had an awesome time. Then, when we were finally alone, I told him that I am transgender. He just said, "Okay. Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me." And that was that. We went back to talking about random stuff. It was really nice. I was worried because he is gay, not any form of bi, and hasn't been with any non-cis people before but we ended up having sex and it was a good time. I wish everyone had the same reaction when I came out to them.

I'm excited to see where this relationship goes but I know that he is definitely interested in dating me so that's exciting.

My beau got lonely last night because the party they went to didn't last as long as they were hoping. But I'm hoping to cheer them up tonight by going out with some of our friends.

#let the poly adventures continue

[notsomonogamous]

Polyamory fills me with happy feelings and I love reading about other peoples' poly relationships so I really think I should try to be active on this blog again.

Plus, exciting poly things are happening in my life!

This blog began to fill up with so much negativity so I just stayed away. But now, the majority of that negativity has resolved. I'm friends with my ex-girlfriend again, my beau and I are ridiculously in love, and there is this cute boy I am going on a date with who my beau sleeps with sometimes.

#!!!!!

[notsomonogamous]

So cuteeeee

[notsomonogamous]

Our DIY heater ^.^ Kat watched a video the other night on cheap ways to heat a room with every day items. You get a baking tray, put 4 candles in it, then place a small sized ceramic pot on top, cover the hole to stop heat escaping and then place a bigger ceramic pot over the smaller one. The theory is that the smaller one traps the heat and heats up (which it does and it’s to hot to touch). Then because the bigger pot over hangs the tray the heat from the smaller one sucks in cold air, heats it up and pushes it out the hole at the top of the bigger one.    We did this last night and it honestly made a difference in our biggish living room, totally took the chill off. Though I’ll probably make another one to warm our room up perfectly.   Total cost Plant Pots - Free from the previous occupiers of this flat.

Tray - £2 from Asda Tea Lights - 2p each when bought as a huge pack 

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#beautiful #trees #forest

[notsomonogamous]

I haven't really been posting many positive happenings here lately but there have been many! I just tend to rant about all the bad things here because I have trouble sharing my negative emotions. 

But like, my beau and I are doing really good. Things have been better with my ex-girlfriend. I slept really well last night. I got some really positive feedback on a story I wrote in my creative writing class. AND my older sister is finally respecting my pronouns and name. 

Even though at times I feel like shit I can't let myself forget the good things. 

[notsomonogamous]

I have been having some really bad dysphoria lately and it is stressing me out. I wish I could just like my body and get pleasure out of it to the fullest, but it just feels off sometimes. Like something is there that shouldn't be. And I can't do anything about it except suck it up.

#dysphoria #body discomfort

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SHIT SHIT SHIT I can't do anything right.

#anxiety #really don't like myself

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I am really fucking scared of fucking up. 

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I am going camping this weekend!

Phew, I need it.

#camping #nature #so stressed need a break