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i hate to admit it but i do put myself down to get compliments because that’s the only way such a boring ugly girl like me can get compliments and even so it’s rare i just wish i was pretty life would be so much easier if i was

#vent

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yikes im losing my therapy bc im poor and cant pay... anyways

#Vent

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i feel too much or nothing at all // from my journal

#Rb #Text

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toxic on my part but i absolutely hate when ppl tell me oh you can be happy by yourself 🥺 yeah no shit but i will be full of envy when everyone around me has dates and marriages. and that will make me feel sad. please understand i don't want to be alone anymore. stop shaming me for wanting and craving romance. literally im not hurting anybody. leave me alone

#vent #romance #i want love #writings

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uncertainty feeds anxiety.

#anxiety #writings #vent

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i don’t want to be alone ever again.

since i was a little kid, i was so lonely, and i always got told “when you grow up, things will get better, in the future you’ll meet nice people”

i always think i’ve finally met them.

but it’s never true, they always fail me.

when will it be my turn to find my people? why can’t i?

is it because i’m not normal, because my feelings are not normal sized, because i don’t understand other people?

i don’t want to be alone anymore.

when’s my turn to find the sweet, warm company everybody else has?

#vent #writing #loneliness

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#text

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What I say: Your my best best friend

What I mean: I have bpd and your my favorite person so my mood and emotions depend on you, you can make or break my day, I need constant reassurance from you, i will start splitting over the smallest thing, I always think you will leave me, I start fights to see if you really care, I will do anything for you, the second you show disinterest in me I will panic, the second you stop answering me I think you hate me, I’m obsessed with you, if you kill yourself there’s a 90% chance I will follow suit, I can’t live without you

Please don’t leave me like the rest

#rb #writings

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Amanda Herzman on Tumblr and Instagram

Follow So Super Awesome on Instagram

#cool stuff

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The morning song. 1883. Book cover, detail. (from nemfrog, gif by the-eternal-moonshine)

#cool stuff #gif

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#positivity #pink #text

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https://www.instagram.com/p/BvRoTtZgE_o

#pink #positivity #aesthetic

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x | ❥悪魔 

#cute #pink #aesthetic #gif

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“Primadonna” - Marina and the Diamonds, 2012

#marina #gif

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I felt like Marina and the Diamonds had just become this shell and I was trying to break free of it, i just felt completely blocked. It was easier for me to just stop being an artist, which wasn’t the right solution, accessing that same emotional space that was already dead. You’re all equal and all different ages and different backgrounds. I think what happens with most artists who have been around for a long time is that your artistic identity becomes a construct just from the fact that people know you, “I don’t care about being a star or ‘idol.’ I love connecting with humans through music. With pop, a lot of stuff gets caught up in that message, so perhaps subconsciously I’ve made [this album] simple and direct because that’s just how I feel".

#marina #gifs #edit

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#sailor moon #gif