sinn4mon-girl

[sinn4mon-girl]

NaPoWriMo 18.1: Sunspots

It’s kind of hard to say what I might be

if I weren’t me. I worked hard to get here,

why yearn another form, another time?

The past is full of perils, the future

is unknown, and nature’s brutish shortness

does not appeal at all. No, I think I’d

zoom out from all that stuff, see all the things

millenia of life can bring. I’d burn,

glow fusing atoms, brightness lighting up

the darkened cold, pull defining boundary

space amidst raw infinity. I’d dance,

a billion years, then die, a nurtured system gone

but birthing newness in my death, I’d smile.

Sweet flaming mother, cradle in the depths

I’d draw my children near and hug with light.

I’d spin them round the room to hear their cries

“One more, one more!” oblige ten billion times

Till age and sunspots end that loving grasp.

[sinn4mon-girl]

𝓑𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒍𝒚 𝓕𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝓜𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝓕𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝓦𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅

© Malina Dowling

[sinn4mon-girl]

i saw a homeless man cry on the bus tonight. he came on at 1:23am holding all his belongings. as he sits down he throws everything down around him except for a woman’s shirt. this he hold and folds and folds again. it was blue and white and orange and red. he holds it out in front of him and folds it then drops his head into the fabric. he sits there for a while with his face in his palms, being smothered by the colours of the shirt. when his stop comes, he lifts his head, rubs his eyes and wipes his tears the way that every other man does. when he gets off of the bus, he gives the driver a smile and a little wave. all i can ever wonder is if he’s ok.

[sinn4mon-girl]

wrapping myself in blankets and wrapping myself all the love i can get to try and trick myself into believing that the worlds touch is real

#poem #poems on tumblr #poetry #poets corner #poets on tumblr #writers and poets

[sinn4mon-girl]

i’ve never loved anyone so much. i dreamt one night that i had 2 little boys. i never found myself a maternal woman but the gold river and their brown hair restored a part of me that i must have lost due to 21st century evolution. the gentleness of their laughter and the softness of their hair. i craved to give everything in their life that i lacked 15 years ago.

#poems on tumblr #poem #poetry #poets corner #poets on tumblr

[sinn4mon-girl]

oh how i regret everything about 17 year old me. but oh how i loved everything about being 17.

#poets on tumblr #poets corner #poetry #poem #poems on tumblr

[sinn4mon-girl]

i used to cry but not that much. then i started smoking to never cry. and i started drinking to never cry. and i started dancing to never cry. and i started loving to never cry. and i started running to never cry. and i started hurting to never cry. then one day i cried. and i wondered why i ever hated it so much.

#poets on tumblr #poem #poets corner #poetry #poems on tumblr

[sinn4mon-girl]

in another universe i would hold on to sing my mother tongue and we would still be running away from the big crows together. we just… we wouldn’t be strangers in this small world.

#poems and poetry #poem #poems on tumblr #poetry

[sinn4mon-girl]

we just sat there to hug and laugh because if we didn’t, it would’ve just gotten tangled up with all my other sad memories. it would’ve just been another sad goodbye that i’d pray to forget in the depths of my mind instead of a see-you-later which i would always dive deeper and deeper to remember

#poems on tumblr #poem #poetry #poets corner

[sinn4mon-girl]

My first winter in years was a perfection of femininity

I was 18, in my first year of university and watching snowfall from my dorm window every day

It snowed more than usual that year

I lived on the first floor so my two friends would come by after their classes, all cold and smiley to snuggle up in my bed and talk about their day

They would bring their snacks and we would drink green tea

We would chatter and giggle and warm each others cold hands

We would watch the snow and draw hearts on the foggy glass

We would take naps in different corners of my single sized bed and do homework

We would run to get food and pose to take photos in the snow

It was so warm and beautiful

The cold thighs, the warm smiles, the small room

It was all which femininity had to offer in the harsh winter of our first year being alone

#poems on tumblr #poem #poetry #girlhood

[sinn4mon-girl]

as selfish as it is, i hope you find reminents of me when you finally clean your dirty teenage room. i hope you find memories of me when you smoke a wintson at a party off of a stranger, and i hope strong gin and tonics are your least favourite drink.

#poets on tumblr #poems on tumblr #poem #poetry #love poem

[sinn4mon-girl]

I wish I were a window of a little house on a street side. I wish I was part of a house so strong and so beautiful that it made all of its visitors cry. I wish I could host such a warm room where everyone sat in old couches, the kind you sink in to, the kind that someone has to pull you out of. I wish I could watch the seasons pass and the people of the world evolve and change. I wish I could watch all of the people grow up inside of me and love and hurt and sing and dance. I wish I could let the cool breeze flow through in the warm summers and I wish I could hold the heat in during the coldest of winters. I take it back. I want to be selfish. I wish I could be a big window in a big house.

#poetry #poem #poets on tumblr #spilled poetry #poets corner

[sinn4mon-girl]

I finished Nana today. It made me realise that men will never understand the sheer strength of female friendships. They will never understand how we forgive. How we encourage. How we mother. How we love eachother so purely. It’s a different kind of love from anything else. It’s a grounding, warm, nostalgic, and intense love that is built off of our shared experience with pain. But what can I say, women are beautiful and I wouldn’t want my female friends to love in any other way and for any other reason.

[sinn4mon-girl]

I turned 19 yesterday. I always thought that being an adult would be fun and life changing and this past year as 18 has been that way but for some reason this years different. It hit me that this is my last year as a teen and my first year as an adult. I hope to blog here and tell you my growing thoughts that my mind manifests through the year. I hope to read back my ideas and memories when I have my kids and when I grow old. I am always wishing to enjoy and linger on all of my life whilst wishing to preserve and remember all of my life.

I am excited to grow old. I am excited to learn. I am excited to dance and sing. I am excited to create. I am excited to love. I am excited to hurt. I am excited to explore. I am excited to be a woman of the 21st century.

[sinn4mon-girl]

as a woman i give my everything when i love.

i love big.

i give my love, my romance, my passion, my soul, my maternity, my colour, my pain, and my self.

i give a man everything. i give him everything so that he can touch his toes and raise his arms and reach for the sky

all for him to give me what? his love? his care?

it may be what the make race has to offer but they will never understand the unrequited love which women voluntarily give away to a man who offers them, love.

#poets on tumblr #poem #poetry #female poets #girlhood

[sinn4mon-girl]

Untitled (Perfect Lovers) (1991) by Felix Gonzalez consists of two clocks that start in synchronization but fall out of time.

“The piece symbolizes the artist’s HIV-positive partner Ross Laycock and his decline and inevitable death from AIDS. The two clocks represent two mechanical heartbeats, which are illustrative of the two lives ordained to fall out of sync and carry moving poetry about personal loss and the temporal nature of life.”

[sinn4mon-girl]

Addiction is a progressive narrowing of the things that bring you pleasure. A good life is a progressive expansion of the things that bring you pleasure. Btw