#<-anger is being played up for comedy

[the-meme-monarch]

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN IT’S PRONOUNCED RALSAY

SUSIE HAS NEVER SEEN RALSEI’S NAME SPELLED OUT. SHE IS SPELLING IT PHONETICALLY

#deltarune #IVE BEEN SAYING RALSEE THIS WHOLE TIME #fuck off i already say chara and alphys’ names wrong I’m gonna start saying everyone’s names wrong on purpose #FUCK YOU. MAYBE K_K IS PRONOUNCED CAKE. #<-anger is being played up for comedy

[arundolyn]

man i always forget until i hear the vocal cover of rebellion again how many gripes i have with the lyrics

#crow.txt #blazblueposting #to be fair? lust sin also. more than i realize actually. it makes jin sound more altruistic than he is for sure #but uuuuuugh i love the cover of rebellion for sure But its just.. in terms of fitting ragna. not quite there. #thinking about how overplayed ragna's anger issues tend to be again. like he's not constantly angry and fighty. #he just sometimes gets irritated with people (mostly bc its for comedy) and is used to people being hostile to him for obvious reasons #so he usually jumps to fighting First even when he doesnt always Want to cause there probably dont seem to be other paths forward to him #he's for sure been angry and spiteful and all in the past over the stuff with saya sure #but the times we see it play out in the c series its rarely unjustifiable if at all #cause surprise surprise its mostly toward the antags. or jin when he's being annoying but eh. mf is literally trying to kill him there #like with hazama? duh he thinks thats terumi. terumi? obviously. relius? he's a fucked up weirdo with little regard for human life. #nu? he's pissed that she looks like his presumed dead sister and acts Like That (even if he had a hand in it sorta. its not like he knew) #izanami? same as above to a lesser degree But she straight up calls him brother and all that to deliberately fuck with him #and also the whole being the imperator librarius bullshit #like i mean tsubaki is trying to Kill Him Always and most times they fight he's just like aren't you noel's friend? go away leave me alone #after he learns that of course.

[abyssruler]

arguments and odd positions

lyney x gn!reader

you knew lyney was a magician, but opening your fridge only to see him inside instead of your recently bought groceries is taking it a little too far. or — you refuse to talk to lyney after an argument, which leads to lyney putting himself in various odd positions in order to get you to speak to him.

comedy-ish, just lyney being weird and lynette being his accomplice

Lyney’s not one to let you stew in your anger after an argument. He’s persistent in getting you to speak with him to try and resolve the issue, which leads to a few… ridiculous and frankly odd situations he puts himself in just so he can talk to you.

An hour after you rushed off after a heated argument, you open your door only to find a little note stamped on it with the words I’m sorry :( written in a loopy handwriting. A bit creepy that he sneaked into your bedroom without your notice, but while the note makes you soften a bit, you’re still angry with him.

Which then leads to more… drastic measures. The likes of which Lyney has to force Lynette to help him with.

Two hours after your argument, you’re opening your fridge, only to lurch away and bite back a scream of surprise when you see Lyney standing inside your fridge.

“I’m sorry—” he starts, but you’re quick to close the door on him.

It escalates after that.

Everywhere you go, Lyney is right there.

In the middle of watering the plants in your backyard, you shift a few leaves from a bush and come face to face with none other than Lyney. He smiles sheepishly at you, a few twigs stuck in his hair. You don’t know how he managed to hide himself in that bush, but instead of acknowledging him, you spray him with water and leave.

You’re in the middle of cooking when you open your cupboard and see Lyney crouched inside the small space (how did he even fit in there?) He gives you a little wave which you ignore as you close the cupboard on him.

It goes on like that for a while. You turning around and seeing Lyney in bizarre positions that make you question how he even managed to end up in the first place.

You check in on your aquarium to feed your fish, only to see Lyney inside the aquarium. You open a book to read, but Lyney’s face is printed on every page. You try reading the newspaper, but the headlines are filled with nothing but Lyney’s name and why you should forgive him. You play a song, but Lyney’s voice echoes instead of the opera singer’s. You open your closet to change clothes, and Lyney is inside the cramped space wearing your clothes.

He’s everywhere.

You shift the curtains open, and Lyney. Is. Right. There.

You swear the windows had been firmly shut, and there hadn’t even been the slightest outline to tell that a person was hiding behind the curtains.

“Darling, please—”

You swish the curtains close on him and stomp your way to the bedroom. You make sure to lock the door, double checking the windows to prevent any chances of Lyney sneaking in.

When you’re sure that not even the hydro archon can break into your room, you sink down on your bed, exhaustion settling in as you turn your head over this bizarre day.

Lyney was persistent, yes, but never to this degree. He showered you with all sorts of compliments and bent over backwards so you can always have your way. In hindsight, the fact that you’ve never once argued before should have been a hint that Lyney has always been careful to make sure you’re happy—too careful, at that. It makes sense, you think, that he’s so desperate to make peace with you now that you’ve had your first argument.

Still, despite how odd his actions were, it was a little touching to see how far he’d go just to apologize to you. Maybe tomorrow you’ll finally acknowledge his existence.

You shift, turning to the other side of your bed—

And Lyney is right there, laying on his side and watching you with a smile on his lips.

You feel your anger and resolve crumble in the face of that smile. And really, it’s been a long day. Staying angry isn’t going to do anyone any good.

He opens his mouth, but you interrupt him with an exasperated sigh, shuffling forward and snuggling your head in the crook of his neck.

“I forgive you,” you murmur.

You feel him circle his arms around you, letting out a happy little sigh of contentment as he buried his face on top of your head, pressing a kiss that sends a spark right down your spine. He’s dressed in a soft shirt and cotton shorts made for sleeping, clearly having expected to sleep here beside you. Sneaky. You’ll get him back for the near heart attacks today, but for now, you’ll settle for basking in the warmth he radiates, letting his heartbeat lull you to sleep.

And you think that’s the end of it, that the two of you will drift off to sleep in each others’ embrace, but then—

“Lynette, tell Freminet to cancel the fireworks show! Plan Y version two is no longer needed!”

#i love characterizing him as a silly little man #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #lyney x reader #gn reader

[poppedbubblgum]

I’ve had this au in my brain for months now and only recently drew for it so I’m here to add to the pile of rise aus haha

It’s the standard separated au but my version B) - Donnie grew up with Splinter, Leo stayed with Draxum, Raph ended up at the battle nexus and Mikey was left to roam the streets of the Hidden City.

More info under the cut-

Donnie: The most mentally stable of the brothers somehow. He was raised in the sewers with splinter, and even though he did receive care, splinter still couldn’t really provide much in terms of affection. Despite that they still love each other, even if distantly. He’s chronically online. He knows every vine ever and plays fps games a lot yes I made him a gamer. He and April are extremely close in this au, having met at a young age and April being the closest thing Donnie has to a sibling until finding his brothers. Splinter also refuses to tell Donnie anything to do with mutants/yokai, or even where they came from, much to Donnie’s dismay. Without his brothers and their antics, he doesn’t get out much, and hasn’t made a battle/protective shell for himself yet.

April: She and Donnie met in early childhood and were practically inseparable, them both being only children, and they basically became each other’s annoying sibling. She’s the only reason Donnie came out of his shell (heh) and she likes to take him onto the surface streets for shenanigans.

Leo: Huguinn pulled Leo from the wreckage of Draxum’s lab and was raised in the rebuilt lab. Draxum genuinely didn’t expect the turtles to come out as literal infants after mutation so it’s a miracle Leo even survived this long lol. (Huguinn and Muninn did most of the work tbh) Draxum considers Leo to be a biproduct/fragment of a failed experiment and uses Leo more as an errand boy than anything else. Because of that Leo’s and Draxum’s relationship is also distant. Leo acts nonchalant and sarcastic for the most part, but he can’t help but want to please Draxum. Leo knows about his brothers and even tried looking for them early on, but eventually gave up. He and Donnie meet first. Also he sneaks out to get pizza at Hueso’s when he’s bored.

Raph: His and Mikey’s stories start out intertwined. They both ended up in the hidden city and lived out the early years of their lives there. When he was around 7 years old, Mikey being 5, Raph was taken as a contestant for a battle royale at the nexus, composed entirely of young yokai. (The battle nexus is quite literally a gladiator ring where contestants kill one another) Raph was taken due to his large size, and after managing to survive the battle royale, Big Mama allowed him to stay and become a fully fledged fighter at the nexus. He moved his way up in rank and became one of the top Nexus champions under the stage name, The Beast. He’s soft spoken and quick to anger at first, having received so little friendly interactions.

Mikey: He and Raph lived in the hidden city together until Raph was taken when he was around 5 years old. After that he was basically left to fend for himself. He survived via stealing and living on rooftops and alleys Aladdin style. He’s incredibly agile and a master pickpocket. He even made a name for himself in the district where he lives as the local thief. This, however, hasn’t dampened his spirits at all and he’s just as bright and bubbly as ever. He loves anything and everything to do with art and often does graffiti wherever he can. He’s an avid battle nexus fan and watches the battles whenever he can ( Leo is also a huge fan).

I’ve legitimately had this au in my head for months and this isn’t even close to everything I’ve conjured up but I had to make something for it or else I’d explode. Despite there being a lot of room for angst in this au, I imagine it as more lighthearted and similar to the show in terms of comedy. If you read this far congrats and give me your strength please

#rottmnt #my art #rottmnt au #rottmnt separated au #possibly: rottmnt but I make Donnie the stable one #spoiler alert he’s really not #broken hearts au

[istadris]

A funny little Bowuigi idea :

Luigi never goe on adventures with Mario (shhhh let's pretend it's true here).

He hears about it and all but whenever Bowser's here kidnapping Peach he's busy elsewhere, or is sick, or is engrossed in a game to thr point of missing out on the huge dragon turtle battle right outside his window.

So when one day Luigi takes a stroll in the forest and Bowser lands right in front of him after a thorough kicking-from-the-flying-fortress-by-Mario, Luigi's reaction isn't "oh no, Bowser !!"

But "oh no, someone's hurt, I gotta help-a them!"

Bowser wakes up in a cozy little green bed (Luigi is STRONG y'all don't realize, he can carry a big turtle boi) with a guy who looks very strongly like Mario bringing him food and asking him kindly how he's doing.

Usually Bowser's reaction would be :

Roar in anger

Send everything flying

Burn everything that reminds him of Mario

Stomp his way back home

Sulk

But as soon as he starts roaring, Luigi shrieks and shoves the entire plate of food in Bowser's mouth on reflex, which shuts Bowser up long enough to listen to the Green Mario babbling about what happened and he's so sorry he startled him (Bowser scoffs) and you shouldnt move right now your shell is cracked and do you have any family I could contact so they don't worry ?

And Bowser realizes.

This little guy. This "Luigi" guy." Who seems to be Mario's biggest fan given how he dresses and gushes about him.

Doesn't.

Know.

Bowser.

...

Well, there's free food, his shell IS cracked and he doesn't want to deal with Kamek's nagging and everyone's pity after another failed plan back home.

Plus, once he's bored of the pampering, revealing the truth will be one hell of a mean prank to play on that guy.

So he gets comfortable and braces himself for some holidays being spoiled by a Mario look-alike.

...except he's cuter. Just a bit.

*

Bonus 1 : Mario doesn't come home right away because he's spending his victory vacation with Peach, and when he swings by, through a peerfect comedy of errors, he doesn't see "Luigi's guest" well or long enough to recognize

Bonus 2 : someone who DOES know Bowser (like Toad) visits Luigi to catch up on news, and the whole time they're sweating bullets while sipping their tea as Bowser is giving them the nastiest "go on, tell him, I DARE you" smirk.

Bonus 3 : Bowser didn't connect the dots about Mario and Luigi's relationship because he doesn't want to assume every guy with a moustache is related. Look at Wario and Waluigi ! Most of his own kids are adopted, after all!

#super mario world #bowuigi #miscellaneous mario madness

[punksocks]

Astrology observations No.15

*just my opinions, take them with a grain of salt

-Neptune hard aspects to Mercury/ Neptune in 3rd/Pisces Mercury- people may constantly underestimate your intelligence and they’re genuinely surprised if you’re observant/smart

-The only Virgo risings I’ve known that are not skinny/petite have mars conjunct asc (even then they had a period of time when they were really skinny and either got out of that on purpose or on accident)

-Did you notice that a lot of Cancer Asc men get cast as like “traditional” manly men. I saw Ben Affleck was a Cancer Asc and Kurt Russel! They’re both known for their action movies (I like Kurt Russel more lol) and I was looking at Jon Hamm’s birth chart and he’s a cancer Asc too. He prefers to be a comedy guy, but looks like he walked out of the 50s so he had his breakthrough in mad men. (There’s also a lot going on there with that whole hazing scandal that I note everytime I see him so that’s a lot)

-Libra mars Asc try not to get frustrated but often their mars energy leaks out in other ways and they end up expressing their anger somehow despite the passive aggressive placement for a mars sign

-Fire Mercuries (especially Leo and Sagittarius) copy speech patterns/catch phrases a lot imo, almost as much as water Mercuries but less exact mimicry. Earth Mercuries tend to have very specific speech patterns that don’t change too much throughout their life, they can be very direct and to the point but will have a great deal of detail to share depending on the subject. Air Mercuries tend to have very distinct speech patterns and usually are the most likely to talk and write in their own sort of prose, I’ve known a few (specifically Gemini Mercuries) that have overcome speech impediments and become great, captivating speakers.

-Pluto touching Saturn can amplify its lessons and effects to a higher degree. (Trine, Sextile) will make the experiences more intense but conjunction, opposition, and square could make these effects explosive and intense. With both positive and negative aspects the native will be forced to transform and change their ways- with the negative aspects (conjunct, opposition, square) the native will feel the trials they go through in these transformations

-12th house placements can give you psychic dreams, I’ve also frequently dreamed being people other than myself. Mars will have action oriented dreams. Sun may have more dreams about experiences they’ve had echoing in their dreams. Moon will have deep emotional experiences. Venus may dream about love and friendships.

-Moon opposition sun synastry can create a lot of tension in a romantic relationship. There seems to be some underlying competitiveness going on. Especially if the moon and the sun are Cardinal signs.

-Moon conjunct Sun synastry can be intense. I think it shows how conjunct can be a negative aspect. The energies can understand each other sure, but they can also become an echo chamber of feeding into each other’s egos. I feel similarly about Sun conjunct Asc synastry. (My parents had this and oof, if that relationship isn’t karmic anyway it’s even more so now..)

-The only conjunct synastry I think I had intensely play out was Scorpio moon conjunct my Asc (I didn’t even realize it at the time) it was a lot! Fun and passionate but also he would get so overwhelmed he would be just shaking in normal conversation. Felt like with that and the 8th house synastry and my venus conjunct his pluto there was no was to turn the heat down and be normal with each other. Like we knew it would be short term but he was like talking about the future then I was overthinking the future and then it was over and idk that’s too much imo lol, lil dramatic just to be over in a snap. (Local Capricorn moon doesn’t get what all the fuss is about lol)

-Plus you can have all the positive synastry in the world, it really depends on timing and effort and individual choices and joint communication to work on your relationship, it’s an effort game

#astro observations #astro notes #astro community #astroblr #astro placements #astrology #Neptune #Mercury #pisces mercury #virgo rising #virgo mars #cancer rising #Libra mars #libra rising #Pluto #Saturn #12th house #3rd house #synastry #sun opposition moon #sun conjunct moon #sun conjunct asc #moon conjunct asc #Scorpio moon

[milaisreading]

If are requests are open then... 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Blue Lock men having an 'unbiased' ranking on which player will be the best to worst bf (based on their opinion which makes it worse lol) for dear y/n :p <33

🌱🩷: Thanks for the request! Hope u like this one

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. In the story the boys will be using he/him when addressing Yn. Requests for this series are open.

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Masterlist to this series

"You?! Don't make me laught, Otoya!" The Blue Lock members looked away from their food or their conversations, and looked at the table Yukimiya, Karasu and Otoya were occupying. On further inspection, they noted the nasty glares Yukimiya and Karasu were sending a smug-looking Otoya.

"This isn't a comedy, Karasu. I am the best fit boyfriend for our dear striker. And (Y/n) would definitely vouch for me."

At the mention of the word boyfriend, attached to (Y/n)'s name, the room fell silent for a moment. Nobody spoke as they looked in disbelief at Otoya, but it quickly got broken by Reo.

"You?! What makes you think (Y/n) would go out with someone like you?! He has standards!" The purple-haired heir yelled in anger as Nagi stared at them in resentment.

"Easy, I am funny, charismatic, can be caring, and (Y/n)'s humor mashes well with mine. We are a match made in heaven-"

"Shut up, Otoya! You two are not! If anything, I am the perfect boyfriend for (Y/n). We are both handsome, could pass as models, and we both share a love for sweets. I even take him out to get mochi when we have a day off-"

"What?! Yukimiya, since when are you so close to the Lukewarm?" It was now Rin's turn to yell as everyone else glare at the model.

"Ever since the 3rd selected. If you weren't such a stuck up narcissist, Rin, you would know how it is like being so close to him." Yukimiya snickered, earning a glare from the captain.

"Well, I believe I am the best one for him. (Y/n) and were in the same team during the 3rd selection and we both worked pretty well together. My more extroverted persona goes well with his calmer, introverted one. I think I am the better match-"

"Hold it, Karasu. You are not fit standing next to (Y/n), let alone be his boyfriend." Hiori interrupted the crow-boy, who sent him a side-glare.

"What did you say?"

"All I am saying is that (Y/n) needs someone who will treat him kindly and gently, which isn't something you would do. But, me? I am a different story-"

"So am I then, Hiori. Besides, (Y/n) and I have known each other ever since the 1st selection started. We even trained together." Hiori turned to glare at Isagi, who was sitting next to a gloomy Bachira.

"And also, we talk about a lot of things. He is very comfortable around me." Isagi smiled at the last part, which irked Barou.

"Hold it, if we are going by that, then I am the perfect boyfriend for (Y/n). After all, we have been partners since the beginning. I know everything there is to know about him. And besides, he likes my cooking more."

"What?! When did he try your food, King?" Chigiri asked, irritated with the satisfied look on Barou's face.

"The last time we had a week off, I invited him for a dinner with my family."

"Cheater! Wait, so you are the reason he couldn't play video games with me?!" Nagi got up from his seat, the sight of the enraged albino was the last thing anyone expected to ever witness.

"Nagi, that is not the point. The point is, I would make a better boyfriend. I am funny, respectful and pretty, anything someone like (Y/n) could want." Chigiri smiled smuggly.

"Hold it there, Chigiri. I might not be the most emotionally open one, but I could treat (Y/n) way better. I am strong and reliable, after all." Kunigami started, earning an eyeroll from Bachira.

"Strength isn't everything." The bicolored boy started.

"After all, I am funny, considered, and affectionate! Perfect for someone like (Y/n)-"

"Bachira, you have no sense of personal space." Kurona spoke up in a monotone voice as he sat next to Niko.

"Excuse me. Did you say something, Kurona?" Bachira asked with a slight edge to his tone.

"I said you don't know personal space. I might not be the most talkative, but (Y/n) is definitely the most comfortable with me. We always eat lunch together and spend times watching YouTube when one of us has a phone." Kurona sighed dreamily, attracting Gagamaru's attention.

"Well... I think he would be a good match with me too. He doesn't mind that I eat with my hands, and we both live eating. He even said we can go to a taste test in Kanagawa." The goalkeeper blushed a little.

"Tsk. Tsk. None of you are stylish enough for someone as elegant and caring as (Y/n). Now, I on the other hand am a perfect match."

"What was that?" Reo warned Aryu, who just flipped his hair and smirked at him.

"I am just saying that (Y/n) and I both enjoy skin care and hair care a lot. He is also very adaptable to any of my conversations."

"(Y-Y/n).... uh...he is very kind and caring..." Tokimitsu started nervously as everyone turned to look at him.

"He always helps me calm down, and even gave me advices during the 2nd and 3rd selection... I think we might be cute, too." Tokimitsu laughed nervously as he played with his hands.

"Quiet! All of you don't deserve that mediocre striker." The team turned to look at an enraged Rin.

"Did you just call (Y/n) mediocre?!"

"Also, who deserves him then, Rinnie?" Isagi and Otoya exclaimed.

"Me, of course. I am the best player around, and someone (Y/n) can always relax with. I am calm and collected, perfect for him."

"That's stupid. If anything, Reo and I are the perfect match for (Y/n). We have known him for waay longer." Nagi said, earning a few glares.

"Aren't you two the ones who ostracized him? We might not agree on who is the best pick for (Y/n), but we all know you two are the last ones on the list." Niko commented, causing the two boys to speak up again.

"We made up!"

"Besides, I think my intelligence is what (Y/n) would want above any of the qualities any of you have." Niko finished.

"Why you-"

Yukimiya git interrupted as Ego's voice boomed through the room.

"Why are you guys still here? Go back to training. (Y/n) and Shidou are waiting for you to form teams."

There was a short silence as everyone registered the last sentence.

"Shidou? (Y/n) and Shidou are together?" Gagamaru asked carefully as the room's temperature dropped.

"Yeah, an hour ago Shidou pulled him away from the cafeteria so that they could practice-"

Before Ego could finish, Rin, Barou, Isagi, and Kunigami already rushed out of the room. The rest followed soon after.

"Shidou, can you get off of me?" (Y/n) groaned as the boy leaned his whole weight on her.

'So heavy...' She thought to herself, jumping as the blonde-pink haired boy moved his face closer to her ear.

"I like it like this more. You are very warm~" Shidou smirked, tightening his Hold around her waist.

"H-hey!" She blushed a bright red from all the attention, and Shidou laughed a little. But before he could speak, the door to the training room got opened.

"Shidou, you piece of shit! Get off of (Y/n)!" Rin yelled, seeing red from how close they were.

"Red card! Red card!" Bachira's yell came next.

(Y/n) sighed in defeat as she heard Shidou chuckle again and pull her closer to him.

"Calm down,  (Y/n) and I are just bonding~"

'Kill me.'

#bllk #blue lock anime #blue lock manga #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock requests #isagi yoichi #reo mikage #chigiri hyoma #nagi seishiro #bachira meguru #kunigami rensuke #barou shouei #itoshi rin #aryu jyubei #hiori yo #kurona ranze #niko ikki #gin gagamaru #tokimitsu aoshi #karasu tabito #yukimiya kenyu #otoya eita #shidou ryuusei #crossdressing

[seventies-arcana]

PAC: whats blocking you from entering your next romantic relationship?

good evening lovies. today in this pac reading, you will find out what's a strong barrier between you and entering your next romantic relationship. this is for enjoyment purposes, none of my readings are a substitute for professional advice.

ask upon your guides/higher self to help guide you to choose a pile/photo, then read the corresponding message.

images are not mine.

pick a picture to begin ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

pile one (the apples):

there's a strong theme of balance with this reading. possibly, you could be juggling a lot of priorities and commitments currently, such as work, school, family, friends. or you could be going through some sort of transformational stage in your life, such as moving houses or changing jobs. whatever it may be, your hands are full. you have tasks at hand you need to complete. i'm not picking up an significant energies of being overwhelmed, maybe at times you are, but overall you are content with finishing what you've started. once you are able to have more time on your hands, you will be able to take the next steps into entering a romantic partnership. this time will come naturally. divine timing is at play. once you can let go of the responsibilities currently occupying your plate, you will have the time for a romantic partnership. if you are someone going through a transformative period, it is strongly recommended that you let out any lingering emotions that might be having a negative impact on your being. these sort of periods can be stressful, and you can be harboring sadness, anger, fear, and anxieties deep within your mind. whatever helps you release those emotions (perhaps an ugly cry, journaling, or visiting your safe space to reflect) will be a strong supporter into moving forward. overall, your main blockage is time. you need to complete tasks you've started before a romantic relationship can begin. however, that does not mean you should spend less effort and take short cuts to complete the tasks quicker. again, divine timing is at play. you are where you need to be. be patient, your time will come.

pile two (the tea):

i'm getting the strong sense that you are a daydreamer. you have thoughts and wishes lingering in the back of your mind. there's the potential for something to spark, and you see it. for some of you that pick this pile, you might have your eyes on someone or a current relationship that you could see developing into something romantic. for others, you know (either in your conscious or subconscious) that a romantic relationship could begin if you put more effort into going out more and meeting new people. either way, one thing remains true, and that is that you are way too in your head. you're spending too much time longing for a connection without making direct efforts to have that connection in your physical world. i keep hearing the phrase "wake up," as if spirit wants you to open your eyes and get out of your fantasy world. the main thing that is preventing you from entering a romantic relationship is yourself. maybe your spending too much time watching romantic comedies or reading romance novels. instead, you should use that time to put yourself into more situations where you can meet new people (or talking more with someone who you could see a relationship with/is interesting in you). you're making yourself miss out on some interesting things! if you're someone who is shy or introverted, spirit wants to assure that you are capable to put yourself in more social situations. they are supporting you every step of the way, cheering you on. once you are able to spend less time fantasizing of what could be or what you could have, you'll find yourself taking the next steps into entering a romantic relationship.

pile three (the croissants):

you are a hard worker. you have put in the work to achieve your goals, and i'm getting the energy that these goals were probably self-help and self-love related (if you haven't been doing this, you need to in order to be able to enter your next romantic relationship). perhaps you have recently left a situation that had been negatively impacting you; such as a toxic relationship, damaging habits, etc. and after ending whatever has drained you, you began taking the steps to make you feel like yourself again or more loved. you're putting more effort into yourself, trying to make sure you eat enough, take showers frequently, and so on. however, you have yet to see any significant progress in this. not that you haven't gotten better-- you have-- you just wish you were seeing better results. the truth is, there is one thing you have yet to really do for yourself. and that is to forgive yourself. forgive the past versions of you, the ones that may have lashed out, said something they didn't mean, hurt themselves without truly realizing it, stayed in a situation or environment that was damaging, etc. whatever it may be, you need to forgive yourself. once you are able to do so, you will see self-improvement blossom in ways you've yet to experience. along with this, you will become ready to enter your next romantic relationship. in the mean time, feel those emotions that may still be lingering on your soul and have the patience, because time is the strongest healer. remind yourself that you are not your past, but you can learn from it.

pile four (the cat):

for those of you who have picked pile four, the message seems to be a mix of pile two and pile three. perhaps you've had bad experiences with love, maybe facing a negative relationship with an ex-lover or maybe you've faced unrequited love. despite this, i get the sense that most of you have done the proper healing to move on from this situation and properly put yourself out on the field once more. although, you are afraid or anxious to do so. you're weary about opening your heart and letting yourself love again, possibly terrified at the idea of being vulnerable like that. hence, it's your own fears that are holding you back. you know what you want (your type, your boundaries, the type of relationship, how you should be treated, etc.) ((or at least, you should know)) and you're prepared to begin meeting new people and trying things out. you need to reflect and understand that not every relationship or experience with love is going to end with heartbreak. in fact, each relationship you experience that has ended is one that you can learn from. ask yourself, what are ways you can conquer your fears of love? is it by journaling? saying "fuck it, you only live once"? faking it till you make it/pretending those fears don't exist? hyping yourself up? whatever it may be, indulge in it. because once you get over this fear, you will be able to enter your next romantic relationship.

please like, follow, and reblog for more pac readings :)

#seventies-arcana #tarotblr #tarot community #divination #spirituality #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card reading #tarot readings #tarot reading #pac reading #pac #channeled message #channeled reading #love #free tarot #free tarot reading #free tarot readings #oracle #oracle reading #relationship #romance #tarot

[r04dk1llx2]

Mike Schmidt Headcannons ⋆·˚ ༘ *

This sad little guy has been infecting my brain so badly, take my stupid little headcannons

Tags: NSFW, fem aligned reader, switch!mike, mike being a miserable little guy

SFW:

Mike, who’s hands are constantly clammy for no apparent reason. It deeply embarrasses him but you seem to find it endearing, even better if you’ve got clammy hands too. (self projecting 💪)

Mike, who loves going out for drives with you, even if he has no particular destination in mind. Blasting old rock music or obscure 80’s music, purely so he can hear you sing along.

Mike, who loves to call you a variety of different names. Your his pretty girl, his doll, his dearest. Although he might be too embarrassed to use most petnames, pretty girl seems to be his favorite.

Mike, who brings you and Abby little gifts from his workplace. Even if he may not have the most money, he’ll find ways to give the both of you small things that remind him of you.

Mike, who can’t help but find dumb little excuses to hold your hands. Comparing hand sizes? His hands are cold? No, he just wants to feel your hands intertwined with his, something about that feeling brings him a sense of comfort.

Mike, who adores the way you treat Abby, just watching you play with her and talk to her, the way you spoke to her so softly, or the way you’d always cheer her up when Mike couldn’t. He loves how motherly you can be, how well you treat him and his sister.

Mike, who’s prone to outbursts of anger, usually fueled by his past. He’s not very vocal about his anger, but you can definitely tell just based on his demeanor that he’s upset. The way his jaw ticks, the way his brows knit together, the way his eyes become 10x more intense. It’s intimidating, but he’s got you to calm him down.

Mike, who loves watching movies with you, something about just bonding over something as mundane as a movie has always cheered him up. Plus, in the comfort of his own home? Even better. Cheesy horror films or comedy films are his favorites, he loves getting to make fun of the movies alongside you.

Mike, who loves coming home after work to sleep beside you, carefully wrapping his arms around you. He loves the feeling of having someone he loves feel comfortable enough to sleep around him, it makes him feel safe and genuinely loved. Just having your body against his, and feeling the warmth of you beside him, was always able to instantly put him to sleep. No medication needed.

Mike, who always catches himself staring at you, completely entranced by you. He gets flustered so easily when you notice, immediately apologizing and looking down at his hands in an attempt to avoid eye contact, just for you to reassure him that everything’s alright and that you’d honestly enjoyed it.

NSFW under cut, proceed with caution.

NSFW:

Mike, who’s 100% a switch, he can go from a soft and caring dom to a whiny whimpering sub in mere seconds.

Mike, who’s got a major somnophilia kink, he loves when you “take care of him” while he’s having nightmares. Peppering soft kisses along his neck while he jolts in his sleep, slowly jerking him off as he lets out quiet moans. Only for him to wake up to you bouncing on his cock, desperately reciting his name as he finishes inside you.

Mike, who’s an exceptional brat tamer. Although typically a patient man, if you test him too much he would have no problem throwing you over his shoulder and taking you to his room, just for him to fuck all of the stubbornness out of you.

Mike, who will quite literally beg to eat you out, there’s something about watching your reactions as he thrusts his tongue inside of you, gently rubbing your clit with his free hand while the other holds your thighs apart. It turns him on so much, to the point where that alone will make him cum in his boxers.

Mike, who praises you every chance he gets, his pretty girl deserves nothing less. Whispering quiet praises into your ear as he rails you from behind, something along the lines of “Atta girl, doin’ so good f’me, jus’ a little longer-” before burying his head into the crook of your neck, hips bucking feverishly into you. Even while being on bottom, he can’t help but praise every little touch you give him.

Mike, who is so loud in bed, he physically cannot contain himself. Even the slightest touch will turn this man into a complete mess, whining and begging for more. You’ve considered buying a gag for him, purely due to Abby still living alongside you both, but you can’t help but love the noises he makes, sometimes he just needs something to bite down on to stifle his moans.

Mike, who has a tendency to steal your clothes just because they smell like you. Something about your scent drives him wild, to the point where he can’t help but jerk off just because of the smell. He hopes you’ll never notice the bite marks or barely visible stains littering some of your clothes, but at the same time, would never be opposed to you catching him, desperately humping a pillow, his teeth clenched down on an old hoodie of yours as he unloads into his hand.

Mike, who’s a god when it comes to aftercare. He’ll do all he can to make sure you feel comfortable, constantly checking in on you, wiping down your inner thighs with a warm towel after cumming inside you, bringing you a glass of water and a t-shirt of his until you both shower together. If your hurting, he’ll run you a bath, epsom salt and all. If your tired, no problem, he’ll hold you until you fall asleep, putting on one of your favorite movies in the background just to make sure you feel safe. There is nothing this man won’t do to keep you feeling good.

Apologies for the potentially bad writing- I’m an artist, not a writer. But, if you like what you see, feel free to send me some requests for future fics with Mike. I have a lot more planned with the silly little guy <33

#josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson fanfic #josh hutcherson fluff #josh hutcherson smut #josh hutcherson x reader #jhutch #jhutch1992 #fnaf mike #fnaf mike schmidt #mike schmidt #mike fnaf #mike schimdt smut #mike schimdt x reader #mike schmidt fluff #mike schmidt fnaf #mike schmidt x you #fnaf #fnaf 2023 #fnaf film

[queermania]

I desperately want to talk about how Sam being played by Jared unintentionally made him so much more interesting because Jared sucks as an actor

SCREAM A;LSDJFJKASFD YES LET'S TALK ABOUT IT

i am very conflicted about what i think was supposed to be happening in the early seasons regarding a lot of different aspects of the show but i do at the very least think sam was supposed to be the pov character and i think the audience was supposed to identify and sympathize with him.

unfortunately, jared.

BUT! jared's inability to be super sincere makes sam so much more interesting. like, you can sympathize with sam's story. his mom died seemingly because of him. his girlfriend died seemingly because of him. he wants revenge. he wants a normal life. he doesn't know what he wants. everything sucks. it's all very sympathetic. he's mad at his brother. he hates his dad. but actually he loves him. he's trying to relate to these victims.

but like. jared looks constipated whenever he tries to relate to the victims aslkdfjasdk; so it just kind of seems like sympathy is an action sam performs because that's what Normal(tm) people do and that is, to be perfectly honest, so much more interesting than sam who is actually just so full of sympathy and compassion.

like, sam has learned social rules and social rules dictate that when someone's loved one dies, they deserve sympathy. so he provides it, however awkwardly. (and he gets mad when dean doesn't adequately perform Sympathy because he doesn't understand that it's not a performance for dean. dean either feels it or he doesn't and then acts accordingly. and dean doesn't understand that sam is performing it and they have communication breakdowns over this and it's very crunchy if you choose to view the show this way).

i feel like this also plays into sam always having a look of mild contemplation/constipation when, for example, cas dies, vs dean who looks like the entire world is crumbling to pieces right before his eyes.

and it makes sam seem like a much angrier person than he probably is intended to be. there's always a boiling tension simmering just under the surface because jared [redacted] [redacted] [redacted].

and because jared is actually pretty good at physical comedy, it also makes sam such a snarky annoying little brother.

and it makes sam seem kind of like he's given up in the later seasons because jared has somehow both checked out and gotten better at acting? there is more nuance to his performance when he does decide to pay attention to what's going on. sam seems to have more emotions than just anger. but also... so much of the time sam is like an empty husk just existing in a room.

so yeah. basically i agree. a different actor might have made sam a lot more likable but god how boring would that be?

#replies #anonymous #sw

[fraudulent-cheese]

Actually no, i want to expand on my relative dislike of WT. Because when people talk about this season's faults, i BARELY see people mentionning the complete flatterning of like half it's cast!

Oh sure, people are super willing to throw shit at TDA and especially TDAS for it's flanderisation of characters, but outside of some rogue posts by mutuals, i don't see ANY OF YOU pointing the finger at World Tour when i'd argue it's especially eggregious.

Owen's the easiest example of this, and while it didn't start this season it got so much during it. Nearly all of his lines revolve around food, his aerophobia, or Izzy for a single episode. His relationship with Alejandro is also super indicative of this; im willing to accept the HC that he was aware of Alejandro's dislike of him and just wanted to win him over, but that's absolutely not what the writters intended, no way in hell. He's just completely oblivious to his shitty behavior when he seemed at least somewhat aware of Heather's shifty behavior back on Island, or at least able to stand up for himself (shoutouts to that one Action episode). It's not fun to watch, either.

Bridgette too had her personality reduced to one or two traits, for either comedy reasons (because apparently people making out 24/7 is funny) or story reasons (establishing Alejandro as a threat who uses flirting and his general attractiveness to advance his strategy) and it suckssssss because she was! an actual character! and World Tour especially benefits from having a 'straight man' type character that can look at the other's weirdness and react to it like a normal-ish person! That and she could be an interesting presence to have on Team Victory, with her friendships with Leshawna and Courtney for instance.

DJ too is a BIG victim of the flanderisation thing; his personality is dumbed down to just being a huge scaredy cat, and his character is just The Curse. That's all he does and that's all he is, all he talks about. And that sucks because he too, was an actual person in Island and even Action! Sure, he was sometimes a pushover and had an accident-prone bunny, but he was also kind and could actually go out of his way to play pranks on people! But all of that is just gone in WT.

There's also the characters that weren't flanderised, and more just. Written entirely out of character. Outside of the entire Love Triangle (which i will get to) the biggest example of this is Leshawna to me. The writters straight forget the episode in Action where she's entirely dsitrustful of the Pizza they were offered (which did turn out to be tampered with) due to Chef being uncharasterically nice to them. Guess what Alejandro was doing. Being overly nice to her out of nowhere. Frankly she fell victim to the same thing Bridgette did; needing to be sacked for Alejandro's villany to be better established.

Ok fuck i need to mention the Love Triangle too because while people complain about it alot i don't think they complain about the correct stuff. i'll go rapid fire because it's been talked to death however; Gwen's liking of Duncan is a retcon, her acting like this is out of character for her frankly, Duncan's out of character by trying to emotionally manipulate his ex and the lore established to justify it makes it worse (remember the "At least im straight with people" line?), Courtney is villanised from even before this point which while her anger might've been targetted at the wrong person she was justified in being upset imo, Courtney's entire character is thrown out of a window in general this season, blah blah blah.

I'll end on the whole "the writters forgetting entire character traits/arcs" Cody still hitting on Gwen this season makes no goddamn sense and is super uncomfortable to watch. He's really such a nothing character man. Sierra deserved better than being a manic pixie stalker girl.

#cheese posting #for the love triangle thing: doesn't help that gwuncan's way better as friends AND worse than romantic duncney imo #string cheesing #tdwt #total drama #yeah im main tagging this #td owen #td bridgette #td dj #td leshawna #not tagging the love triangle/cody because it could count as character hate and im not gonna be an idiot

[short-king-enthusiast]

It's wild watching people react to ofmd/make posts about ofmd, who have clearly never watched any dry humour British/Aussie/Kiwi comedies before (Blackadder, Monty python, summer heights high etc) because they expect all of these dark heavy plotlines to have big dramatic soapy conclusions where everyone's crying and sincerely apologizing and hugging. And then they're surprised or disappointed when it inevitably doesn't.

It gets played off with a joke or everyone just immediately shrugs off any hurt or trauma they experienced and move on.

Like, that's the point gang. Subverting expectations, satirical takes on drama and historical shows. Ed caused monumental levels of havoc then Ed flapped his arms and hid under a blanket and all Stede had to do was compliment him now they're good again.

There are shows where one character is actively trying to harm another character at all times and it's played as a joke because it is one. You're not supposed to cancel the character doing the harm because they're a bad person. You're meant to go "Haha they're insane." And move on because the absurdity is intentional.

"It would never happen like that in real life!!" Yeah that's the point. Also it's a comedy show.

I'm not saying these shows aren't capable of powerful moments. If anything these shows are known for their powerful moments. Because they come at times when you don't expect them. I'm not devaluing the emotional impact or the writing. You're just not supposed to take it that seriously. It can simultaneously be a heartfelt meaningful show and also be highly satirical and making fun of itself.

You can gather so much genuine insight and symbolism from these silly little characters and them being absurd doesn't take away from that. Them having intense emotions one moment, then in literally the next scene they're goofing up a storm. The writer's take different avenues to solving conflict that's not dramatic proclamations and biting anger like you'd see in a drama.

Will Blackbeard actually apologize? Probably not lol. It doesn't take away from his character. It's not a cheap cop out. His YouTuber notesapp apology will probably be the only one and his heinous acts will continue to be brought up in the form of jokes bc that's the genre baby.

#ofmd #yes this is another tiktok fandom inspired post #i reccomend everyone go watch blackadder and just...learn the humor #our flag means death #ofmd2 #edward teach #blackbeard #stede bonnet #jim #izzy hands #gentlebeard #boldened and italicized a line bc i think some people arent getting that far down the post to read it 💀

[chuplayswithfire]

Edward Teach and his relationship to violence and power and the cycle of abuse is so fascinating, because Ed grew up in a household where he was intensely, constantly vulnerable, where he and his mother were at the whim of his incredibly abusive father, and so he escapes by committing the most understandable and well justified murder in the entire show, and it traumatizes him -

Not just because it was murder

Not just because it was his dad

But because he was able to plan it out and make it happen at all. Killing his dad is this moment of terrifying strength and courage at the heart of him and it's the birthplace of the Edward that does what needs to be done to survive, no matter the emotional consequences. Ed thinks he is a bad person specifically because as a child he killed own father so he and his mother could survive, and then had to keep committing acts of violence to survive long into adulthood.

I don't think Ed worries about becoming his father. I think he sees himself as someone much worse - because he was able to kill that man, to plan out and complete his murder, even though that was his dad.

The show never once treats Ed's anger in the show as unreasonable or problematic - his flashes of temper throughout the show are always in very understandable moments and they're played for drama (french captain), furthering the romance (wanting to shoot the rich people party vs stede offering to handle it), or comedy (snake snack/punching izzy in ep 9).

Even Kraken is deliberately not particularly shown to be an expression of Ed's anger, which is hot, but that deliberate ruthless problem solving spirit that comes after the anger passes and the knowledge of exactly what to do washes over him; following his father to the dock and strangling him; skin him, and fang? use the snail fork; toe scene and sitting exactly at Izzy's bed side for it and telling him what will happen if he threatens him again. Even marooning the crew is not an act committed with anger, but a muted sorrow.

Piracy is a culture of abuse, mistrust, and backstabbery, this is established in episode one, further emphasized in episode 8 with both Spanish Jackie and Calico Jack and the tales of Hornigold, and demonstrated yet further with Captain Hands in episode 9.

Ed escaped the abuse at home, but found his place in the world in the abusive professional and interpersonal relationships of piracy, which is one reason he's so drawn to Stede - because he's doing it differently, he's trying to build a form of piracy that doesn't rely on the traditional forms of abuse that manage piracy - and because his people positive management style works, as demonstrated throughout the length of the show. Not everything Stede does works out or is ideal, but his people positive management style is.

When Stede leaves and breaks Ed's heart, and Ed starts to recover from that heartbreak only for Izzy to kick him back down with another threat to his life and for him to hear the crew calling for another song and wonder if it's mockery instead of friendship -

Yeah, Ed turns back to the familiar culture of abuse, mistrust, and backstabbery that piracy has. Shoving Lucius, the one most likely to see through him, overboard. Using Izzy's preferred language, violence, to get him to back the fuck off and fall in line. Violence against Jim and threats against violence against Frenchie, to get them to comply. Abandoning over half the crew.

Ed tried something new and at the end he feels like it fucked him over, made him weak, and vulnerable again, and he reacted exactly as his childhood self did - by creating and executing a plan to remove the threat and position himself out of harm.

That's what Ed's journey is likely to be about, in season 2, by my estimation - understanding what he actually wants in and from life, and having to recognize that he 1) deserves that life 2) can't get it by retreating of self-destruction and abuse that he's grown familiar with. Not a fear of being like his father (he's really not imo, and I could go on about how throwing a knife past your subordinate who has betrayed you and threatened to kill you is vastly different from throwing plates at your cowering wife because you're mad about dinner are not the same, but I'd hope it's unnecessary), or anger issues in general, but recognizing that his retreat from his authentic self into the mask of Blackbeard we see at the end was wrong and doomed to fail.

#ofmd #edward teach #stede bonnet #izzy hands #they're all in there so they can get tagged #ofmd meta

[suzdin]

Washed Up Has-Been: a Dieter Bravo one shot

Dieter Bravo x F!Plus Size!Reader

Warnings: soft!Dieter, sweet!Dieter, smut, angst, bodily insecurities, reader is plus sized but no other physical attributes are described, Dieter is a little chubby as well, mentions of drugs and alcohol, oral (m receiving), mention of sex toys, fluff? (gasp!), did I forget anything? I know next to nothing about the film industry, don’t judge me :(

Word Count: 2,800

Enjoy and feel free to reblog and comment if you wish! 💜🙂

——

Dieter Bravo had not been the same since Cliff Beasts 6.

What did they call it? Losing your spark? Your mojo? Your moxy? Whatever it was called, he’d lost it, along with his marbles… if he ever had any to begin with, and he was sure many would agree he hadn’t.

The reviews were bad, abhorrent, really. ‘Dieter Bravo as Gio Ricci baffling’, ‘Bravo couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag’, ‘I can’t believe this man has an Oscar’, ‘Did he get his Italian accent at an Olive Garden?’, on and on the critics wailed and lambasted.

He’d had a mental break shortly after the premier, firing everyone he could in his vicinity — his publicist, his hair stylist and manicurist, hell, even his agent of twenty five years. He’d hired a new one, of course, a potential script FedExed to his door that morning, fist curled and white knuckled in anger around the thick stack of papers as he perched himself like a sentient gargoyle on his couch, in the tattered clothes he’d been wearing for nearly a week.

A dad. They wanted him to play a fucking dad, some sort of buddy comedy family film opposite Dwayne Johnson, it might be a good move for your career, buddy, his agent had explained. But seriously, him? Hollywood heart throb Dieter Bravo, reduced to playing someone’s bumbling father, opposite THE FUCKING ROCK?

He couldn’t believe it.

He had put on some weight since his last film, sure, but that was no reason or excuse to allow himself to be typecasted as a dad.

Or was it the ever persistent graying in his hair and beard? The laugh lines? The crow’s feet?

‘Dieter Bravo is a washed up has-been’ the internet screamed at him daily, leading him to drown himself in an endless stream of drugs and alcohol…more so than he was already doing, anyway.

He was barely a functioning person. A husk of his former self, he could no longer get it up, unsure whether to blame the drugs or his steadily fleeting mental health, and even putting brush to canvas felt more like a chore than an escape nowadays. He’d become a hermit in his own home, the ghastly, aging 1970s mid-century horror he resided in the Hollywood Hills, that he thought was amazing when he originally bought it a decade ago.

Well, much like him, older things fall apart, and the house was a piece of shit, which was apt.

He had hired you as his assistant and he was so vague as to what that entailed that you were sort of a jack of all trades as far as helping was concerned, acting as his maid, his cook, the middle man to screen his calls, his emails, so on and so forth. Hell, you even took care of the large python he’d bought ‘because it looked cool’, that he was now too scared to touch, himself.

You did it all, and although he never properly expressed as much, he was more grateful for you than he let on.

He always found you pretty, too. Beautiful, even, and not in the fake way he’d grown used to, living in Hollywood. You were kind, sweet, and uncorrupted by a crueler world, always happy and eager to assist him with whatever he needed.

And if he was being honest with himself, the thought of you sheathed around his cock was the only thing that could even get him half hard anymore.

When you arrive for the day, you find him on his couch, glowering at what you can only assume is another bad script, graying hair disheveled and curling away from his skull, teeth gritted in disdain. A look you had come to recognize and were more than familiar with.

“Let me take that to the garbage for you,” you offer, as you normally do in these situations, stepping forward to reach for the offending script.

His eyes clock the way your breasts sway when you walk, the roundness of your belly, the plushness of your arms. He can’t help but stare; he wants to bury himself in you and stay there forever.

He swallows, moving the script away from your extended hand and tucking it behind a cushion, distracted by your body.

“No — no, it’s okay,” he replies and his voice feels like gravel in his throat, realizing he hasn’t spoken all day until now.

Although the script sucks and he doesn’t want to do it, he needs the money. “Thanks.”

You notice his eyes on you and you sit, leaving about a foot of space between you to maintain a modicum of professionalism, observing the sadness behind his dark brown eyes and knowing this has been the norm for several months now but still hating it for what it is.

“What’s on the docket for today?” you ask him and he shrugs, unhelpfully, his lips pulled into a frown, shadows staining the lines of his face. You haven’t seen him this bad in a while.

“I can… make you some hot tea?” you ask, looking down at the schedule in your lap, of which nothing is jotted down for the day.

He shakes his head, carding a hand through his hair. “No. I’m out of tea.”

You chew your lip. “Okay… well, then I guess I’m running to the store today. I have a list already, but can you think of anything else?”

Once again, he shakes his head. “No. I’ll just order it or something.”

You frown and tuck the schedule away, crossing your legs and turning to face him, contemplative.

“Then what do you want me to do today? You’re paying me to be here,” you note. “Unless you’d rather I go home.”

“No!” he damn near shouts, making you jump, and he immediately regrets his lack of impulse control. His gaze traverses your subtle cleavage and you clear your throat, heat warming your skin. “Sorry, it’s just… I don’t want to be alone right now. Can we just hang out?” he queries.

“Dieter, are you okay?” you question and he shakes his head in response.

“No.” A single word that says so much more than that. It pulls at your heart strings, seeing him like this. “I — I’m a nobody.”

“You aren’t a nobody, you’re Oscar winner Dieter fucking Bravo,” you counter, and he snorts, picking at some dry skin on his ankle.

“Yeah, Dieter fucking Bravo, the aging has-been who can’t act his way out of a paper bag,” he snorts.

“If you keep talking like that, I’m going to take away your internet access so you can’t read all the mean tweets about yourself,” you threaten.

“You wouldn’t.”

“One call to your financial advisor and I would and could,” you retort and Dieter scoffs, trying to remember if he’d fired him yet or not.

You cross your arms and flop back against the worn and flattened couch cushions, eyeing him smugly.

The movement pushes your chest up and out, his gaze on you once again and he isn’t subtle about it this time. You clear your throat and stir, staring back at his soft, plush lips.

“Dieter—“

“Come here,” he murmurs quietly and the spontaneity of it catches you off guard, your jaw hanging agape in disbelief and confusion.

“…What?”

It had been months since anyone had touched him, had wanted to touch him, and now, as he stares at your body and smells your light vanilla perfume, after the shitty week he’s had, he needs to be touched, even if only briefly.

“Come… here,” he repeats, more dogged than before, and in spite of yourself, despite how unprofessional it is, you find yourself scooting forward.

He grabs your hips when you’re within reach and drags you the rest of the way, pulling the cushion partially off the couch in the process, a small yelp of surprise escaping your lungs as he softly grips your face to bring his lips to yours.

They’re plush, dry, lightly chapped and he tastes a little like whiskey and weed, but you don’t really mind, his coarse, wiry mustache scratching and tickling against your nose.

Suddenly, with a soft groan in the back of his throat, his hand is under your shirt, cupping your breast, and you break the kiss, looking down to where his arm disappears beneath the fabric, shock settling over your features.

“Dee… are you… are you sure?” you ask. You don’t exactly look like the people Dieter had been confirmed dating in the past, and you feel a wave of trepidation, your self conscious nature bubbling to the surface. You’ve always felt Dieter Bravo was more than a little out of your league.

Not that you’re dating him, but, you know.

“I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t sure,” he tuts and kisses you again, rougher this time, palming your breast, making your cunt throb.

He groans. You’re so good to him, always taking such good care of him, and you feel exactly the way he thought you would, warm and luscious and supple, his dick already fighting with the seam of his pajama pants, the first time in weeks.

And you’ve wanted this, too, as long as you’ve worked for him, never confessing your feelings for fear of losing your job. You never imagined Dieter fucking Bravo would feel the same way about you.

You know Dee needs this, you need this, and you want to make him feel good.

You brush a hand over his hardening cock and he damn near bucks himself straight off the couch with a grunt and a sharply uttered, “Fuck” against your lips. You grin into his mouth at how much composure he’s already lost from so few touches.

You pull away after a moment and scoot off the couch, sinking onto your knees in front of him, nestling yourself between his broad thighs.

He watches you, rigid cock tremoring in his pants at the sight, the outline of it clearly visible and straining against the fabric. “You… you don’t have to…” His voice is thick, haggard.

“Let me take care of you, Dee,” you mewl as you nuzzle your face against the squishy paunch of his stomach, lifting his shirt to plant small, reverent kisses in a circle around his belly button. He giggles and flinches at the contact.

“Sorry, sorry — ticklish,” he explains and you smile, placing a few more kisses there, more delicate than the ones that preceded them, trailing a line from his navel to the thick swathe of hair leading to his crotch.

Despite the pounds he’s put on recently, he doesn’t feel at all uncomfortable in front of you, eyes darkening as he drinks you in visually, lips tight and parted, breaths growing deeper in the barrel of his chest.

You look up and from your current perspective, he’s all wild haired and broad shouldered, panting, your cunt clenching with desire as you eye him with a wry grin.

You smooth his shirt down over his belly and move your face to the hard bulge below, nosing the bulk of it through the fabric and inhaling his natural scent, thick and musky and masculine in your nostrils. You both groan in unison.

“Dear god,” he grunts, “I feel like I’m about to— aaaaugh— fucking bust already.”

“Save it for my mouth, at least,” you snip and his head rolls back against the cushion at your words, the one with the sag in the middle where his neck always rests, eyes sliding shut.

“You’re so good for me,” he pants softly, already so close to falling apart, “I take you for granted and I’m sorry.”

“Dieter, shh.” You find the stretchy waistband of his striped trousers and drag them down his hips, not all surprised to see he’s gone commando, cock springing free from the cage of fabric, uncut and dribbling against the drag of soft cotton. He’s girthy, and you’ve never seen one intact in the flesh before — literally — a small puff of air escaping your lips, taking in the sight of him for a few seconds before coming to your senses.

“Is everything alr—“ he starts to ask, cutting himself off when you unexpectedly cup his heavy balls in your palm and lick a slow stripe up his length with the flat of your tongue, his hips quivering and bucking involuntarily. “Shit—“

You grin, humming satisfactorily to yourself and continue to tease him, his hands finding your hair, fingers twisting at the roots as the rings he insists on wearing get caught in the strands, pulling ever so slightly. You moan.

You feel incredible, your tongue working his most sensitive areas, and he’s having a hard time holding it together, torso heaving above you, tiny whimpers departing his lips, and he hasn’t even entered your mouth yet.

You sense how much trouble he’s having at keeping himself in check, so you back off a touch to give him a momentary reprieve, shifting to kiss along the meat of his inner thighs, nipping at the tiny elephant tattoos etched into his skin as you do so.

He cups one hand on the back of your neck, watching you through half-lidded eyes, your lips like pure velvet and heaven.

He’s already forgotten about the shitty script tucked into the couch, about the bad reviews and the critics with their cruel, baseless quips. Faded away to nothingness, akin to what he experiences when he’s completely blitzed, negative thoughts dissolving to the back of his mind to be discarded, and for now, for the moment, the only thing that matters is you, your beauty, and how well you take care of him.

After what seems like an eternity of small, worshipping, teasing touches to the insides of his thighs and the rim of his belly, your lips return to his cock, lapping at the precum that’s beaded up at the slit before taking him into your mouth, hand fisted at the base as you work him into your throat.

He’s impervious at this point to keep his hips flush against the couch, shuddering into your mouth as you take him and pushing further down your throat, not entirely on purpose, moaning as the wet heat of your mouth engulfs him.

“Wanna— fuck your pussy next time— with a vibrating plug in your ass,” he grunts, hardly able to string a single cohesive thought together, making your cunt throb and slick leak into the cradle of your panties.

Dieter wasn’t one to shy away from toys, and in fact had an entire drawer full of them, which you had accidentally stumbled upon one day when putting away some of his clothes; everything from butt plugs to cock rings to flesh lights with multiple attachments and bondage gear.

You steady his hips with your hands and hold him in place as best you can, difficult with how much stronger he is than you, jaw stretching to fit him, the musky tang of him flooding your tastebuds.

You steadily rock your head up and down his length, taking him all the way to the back of your throat, and you can feel the veins running the length of his shaft pulsating against your tongue, feel the way his balls tighten as he edges ever closer to the precipice.

He’s wanted you, needed you, for so long, that he can’t contain himself much longer. His hips begin to stutter and you feel his body growing taut, hear his breaths growing shallow and haggard, fingers curling against your scalp.

“I’m… I’m gonna… fucking cum,” he grunts deep in his chest. That’s all the warning he allows before his hips stall and he lets out a visceral growl of pleasure, spilling a hot and heavy load across your tongue, some of it seeping out at the edges and dribbling down his thighs until you’re able to steady yourself.

You hold him in your mouth until you feel the very last drop hit the back of your throat, slowly pulling off only when you feel him starting to go soft.

“You should really clean up this awful mess you’ve made,” Dieter taunts when you sit back to catch your breath, watching the cocktail of spend and saliva slide down his tan skin.

You grin and tip your head forward to obediently lap at the escaped fluids. He groans as he savors the delicious sight of you, affectionately brushing his fingers through your hair as you do so.

After a moment, you rise from the ground, your knees cracking from the exertion, joining him on the couch as he tugs his pajama bottoms back up his hips.

He snakes an arm around the small of your back and kisses you, deep and full, moaning when he tastes remnants of himself on your tongue.

He grins against your lips and then rises, yanking you off the couch and giggling along with you when you pass him a perplexed look.

“Where are we going now?” you ask, pleased to see him happy and relaxed again after all this time, to actually see him smiling.

“You took care of me, so I’m going to take care of you. You’re familiar with my special drawer, aren’t you?”

—

FIN. xx

#pedro pascal #writing #fanfic #smut #author #romance #pedro fanfic #dieter bravo #dieter bravo the bubble #the bubble

[neo404]

Kitchen accident part 2.

Summary: after what happened on the kitchen you decided to watch a movie, not knowing that you would have some ‘issues’ down there. You decide to go the bathroom to satisfy yourself but can’t seem to finish, frustrated you decide to ask Nick for help.

Tw: general nsfw. Cursing.

Notes: Reader is amab.

Note 2: someone requested this on my dms, i hope you enjoy it. i changed the prompt a bit, i hope you dont mind.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

A comedy movie was playing on the screen, I don’t know its name or what is it about, I really don’t care. I’m shifting and moving around every second, I feel restless. I look at Nick from time to time and he’s laughing and saying corny things like ‘’why would he do that?’’ and criticizing the characters decisions. I can’t stop thinking about what happened in the kitchen, I can’t stop staring at Nicks hands and neck, I feel bad but I can’t get this thought out of my head.

‘’I’m going to the bathroom. Give me a minute.’’ I say standing up and putting the pillow that was on my lap on the bed.

‘’Want me to pause the movie?’’ he looks at me, quickly grabbing the tv remote.

‘’No, it’s okay.’’ I say and rush to the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I hear the movie being muffled by the door. I let out a sigh, I see the bulge on my sleeping pants and let out a grunt, why am I like this? I’ll make this as quick as possible.

I slide down my pants and boxers just enough to be able to jerk off. I try to be fast so I can go back to watch the movie, I sniff on the shirt Nick gave me after he socked mine, it smells like him and it’s driving me crazy. But no matter what I do, I can’t seem to finish. Frustration grows on me, I try one last time but nothing happens, with disappointment and anger I let out a groan, I can’t do this anymore.

I hear knocking at the door. ‘’Everything good?’’ it’s Nick, fuck, why me?

‘’No. I mean, yes… I just… god, fuck this.’’ I reach out and unlock the door, pulling up my pants and boxers then opening the door. He looks me in the eyes, scanning the situation. ‘’Please, I can’t do it, help me.’’ I look away from him embarrassed and I see him walk closer to me.

‘’Help with what?’’ he was teasing, I could hear it in his voice, and I’m sure that by now he is well aware of the situation on my pants. I let out a sigh, my face was hot.

‘’Please, Nick. Help me with this.’’ I look down at myself and then up to him, he’s smirking.

‘’Okay, pretty boy. I’ll help you with that.’’ He grabs my waist softly pulling me into him and kissing my lips, it was sweet at first, romantic and tender. He guides us to the bed while we kiss, my knees hit the edge of the bed and I fall into it. Nick pushes me so I’m laying down, he gets on top of me and starts kissing me again, this time with more tongue it’s messy and I love it. Unconsciously I start rolling my hips against his, I feel him get hard against my clothed skin, and I need more.

His hands are wondering, exploring my body, they stop on my thighs rubbing them up and down. I squirm a bit and he starts to toy with the hem of my pants. ‘’Just take them off already’’ I slur out between kisses and he does, sliding them down painfully slow.

The cold hair hits my skin and he raises his shirt but I shake my head. ‘’I wanna keep it on.’’ He smiles and nods, kissing my stomach a and thighs a bit, biting down on them, leaving red marks here and there. I moan his name, I feel his breath closer and closer to my dick, but his lips never touch it, I squirm around, speaking non sense, almost begging him to please touch it. He leaves a kiss on it, and then puts it into his mouth.

‘’Shit.’’ I groan, one hand on his hair and the other on my face. He goes up and down, my back arches, I see him look up at me, I cover my eyes and throw my head back. I’m moaning and grunting uncontrollably. My head is dizzy with his smell, with his touches. I feel myself getting closer and closer, and he stops, his mouth no longer in my, one of his hands now are grabbing both of mine and putting them on top of my head.

He kisses me, and with the other hand grabs my dick pumping it up and down, faster and faster. I moan against his mouth, his big hands holding me down, making me go crazy. My eyes roll to the back of my skull and I let out a notoriously loud moan. My back touches the bed again, I feel the wetness on my stomach and Nick gives me one last sweet kiss.

‘’Wow, that was… you were amazing.’’ He whispers. ‘’Think I need you give you another of my shirts.’’

‘’Thanks.’’ I whisper.

‘’No needs to, I enjoyed this a lot. Maybe next time we can do more things.’’

‘’Next time?... I mean, yeah, that would be awesome.’’ I smile and he kisses my cheek.

‘’All right, I’m gonna go shower now.’’ He says and gets up walking slowly to the bathroom. ‘’I wouldn’t mind if someone follows me and showers with me. After all, I do have a problem that needs solving down here.’’

‘’Oh god, Nick shut up.’’ I cover my face and he laughs. ‘’give me a minute to catch my breath, I’ll be there.’’

#nick sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo x male reader #sturniolo triplets x reader #nick sturniolo smut

[platypus-quacks-too]

A not complete, neither lucid post-mortem (ha!) list of thoughts after the series finale:

I enjoyed it overall. It was good. It ended probably the only way it couldn't end. Still, I was hoping for a more hopeful note. There was, but it also felt very much bittersweet. I mean, I knew I would have cried. I've always known that. But boy, did I cry.

This said, the first episode was some of the toughest 20 minutes of television I watched in my recent years. Of course you say, there are dramatic things out there but also consider this is a comedy, and we were with the coopers for the last 7 years.

What was more heartbreaking: Missy's anger, Mary's regret, Georgie sudden weight of responsability? Yes. And then there was Sheldon's endless loop of regret, replaying in his mind over and over his last moment with George. And it was Spock's latest words, and it was simply saying bye, and it was telling him out loud he loved him. The way he never managed to do in life (oh, I did not forget the first time George's death was acknowledged in show was Sheldon remembering he never got to thank George for what he had done for him…)

Their last goodbye at the funeral was- lord, where do I ever begin. I'm glad Missy managed to say goodbye, and Mary, and Georgie. I'm so sorry for Sheldon. Again regret, when he didn't make to do the eulogy.

And Mary was right. It's so cruel George died just when they were at their happiest. I see why she was so angry when we first met her.

It was nice to see again most of the people that had a role in the story. Brenda, Billy, June, even a mention to Veronica later on. They missed only Paige, which I am disappointed because I am sad the last we saw of her was in a bad place.

Second part was series finale 101. The (lovely!) recap of the Cooper story so far, all the recalls back to the pilot, the ending scene closing the circle. And of course, the reveal of how the storytelling is actually happening.

And of course, Sheldon Cooper in all his glory. Amy freakkin' Farrah Fowler in all her glory. I really needed to pinch myself twice that I was looking at new scenes of the two of them 5 years later.

Their house! All the memorabilia! (Gollum, the Nobel pic, the medal, the DNA, the Rubrik cube, the couch from 4A!!!). We knew more about Leonard. We kinda get confirmed they have two kids in total? And Leonard has a younger sister who wants to take acting classes and spent time with Penny. Excuse me I need a moment.

It was pretty much weird to see shamy in single camera tho? Like watching a fanfiction being played. No audience laughs. Multiple povs. A closer look to them. I was good. It was weird.

I admit, maybe it was this, but especially their first scenes felt a little off? Especially Mayim as Amy. Like she was having difficulties to come back in Amy's clothes. And because she was arguing with Sheldon, without the comedy timing given by multicams, it felt… harsher than usual?

(Again with the once at year birthday thing I swear I am giving up)

Their final scene instead was perfect. There! There I saw my sweet shamy again. Amy's tone was softer. She made Sheldon do the right thing with love the way she always managed to. (SNIFF)

Unpopular opinion maybe: I kinda wish their only scene in flesh was the final one. The previous ones were nice but could have been easily a voiceover as usual. I wanted more time with the 1994 Coopers.

Back at the beginning of this list: it was indeed a bittersweet end. Sweet: Sheldon's final moments at Caltech, that music playing, old pal Dave Saltzberg cameo!

Sheldon accepting to get baptized just to make Mary happy, because "he believes in her" (SNIFF). The final moment of him and Missy was with a smile. Their exchange in the bedroom. Mandy trying to cheer Missy up. Georgie keeping the family together. Connie recognizing she found peace finally with Dale.

And yet. Missy is angry, so angry and she's left with Mary in a house what was full and now it's just the two of them, and they are barely talking. Their last scene was a fight. Mary got sucked in the faith again, and this time we know it's the definitive, worse one, and Connie or anyone couldn't do anything for her. It ended like it needed to, but I wanted more reassurances that also Missy, Georgie, Mary and everyone else had their peace eventually.

It was heartbreaking and lovely see adult Sheldon saying goodbye to that house. He kinda did on our behalf as well.

I am gonna miss the Coopers so much. I am really do.

#young sheldon #shamy #unrequired opinions