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#[ have the most useless HC ever pfft
hargrove · 2 years
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「 cooking & food : Though he never boasts it, Billy is actually a good cook. He worked a couple of summers at a little Mexican food shack on the beach he hung out at in San Diego to save up for his car, and got pretty good at grilling up different dishes.
However, he had one specialty that he’s perfected over the years, his burritos. He’s heavy handed with the spices when he cooks up the chicken or beef and has created a combination of rice, peppers, cheese, and other ingredients that never fails to satisfy. Even Max is happy when he makes those. His own recipe actually made it to the shack’s usual menu.
His favorite food to eat is spicy fish tacos. The owner of the little shack made the best ones he’d ever had, and no matter how hard he tried, he could never replicate them perfectly.
One of his biggest annoyances with Hawkins is the lack of real Mexican food and seafood. It’s just another thing he had to give up when he moved, but he can at least make a close interpretation of his burritos.   」
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lawlietscaramels · 5 months
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okay okay okay I know you said no stories (understandable the holidays wiped me out too agshwsj) but I just got this random idea in my head and I could wait...!
So you know how voice filters are so normal now? even copying VA's to a seriously convincing level. What if people started using L's usual voice filter? Like nothing malicious, just people posting the craziest shit using THE detective L voice.
voice clips, shit posts, thirst traps, tiktok sounds of his public challenge on kira, people hating and simping on main and L can only helplessly watch. His pride won't allow him to change the filter he uses he made that himself it's his damnit! it'd be useless anyways, they'd just copy that too .
What can he do? are there legal repercussions? can he even copyright that? or is he doomed to be the biggest meme for the next 3 months like all public figures are subject to in life? Does L even notice?
So can I request an L-centric headcanon for this? You don't have to do it right away! Write whenever you feel like it! I just thought it'd be funny. Have a happy holiday!✨
–🍰 anon
That's My Voice! ╾ L
PFFTJSBAHHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE?! this is the best way to start of 2024 pfft
also I have rested and relaxationed™ so I am doing a hc/story snippet mix!
okay okay yes. let's go.
 ★━━─・‥…━━━☆
It's hard to say how quickly L would notice if this happened. Perhaps on the first day; perhaps he'd remain oblivious until it all blew over. the former is more likely than the latter.
but oh gosh once he notices...
Putting the key in the lock and turning it, you expected to find L standing right in the doorframe to greet you, the affectionate weirdo that he is. But he's staring in horror at one of the monitors lighting the room, mouth wide open and a lollipop forgotten in his mouth.
"y/n, they've stolen my voice!"
he probably hasn't encountered this kind of technology outside of like, criminals faking voices to commit crime or whatever so he's completely confused as to how and why ordinary citizens are using the voice filter he spent months of his childhood tinkering with.
they should make their own! can't he use copyright or something?!
"Oh, don't worry so much, L. It's just a trend, it will blow over quickly! There is no harm in them having fun."
He throws his arms in the air and for a moment you're concerned he's going to tip his seat over again. "What do you mean there's no harm?! They are 'simping,'" with the most dramatic air quotes you have ever seenー L must have learnt the term and immediately decided it did not deserve to be a wordー "for a cartoon man named Miguel from Arachnid-Man! In my voice, y/n!"
And you burst out laughing, which doesn't seem to help at all.
L goes silent and furious for a good hour as he desperately searches for a way to stop this from happening. I don't know the copyright laws myself, but I imagine as it isn't L's real voice and he likely wouldn't have seen the need to apply for a patent (or whatever equivalent there is to protect a voice filter), he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.
he would still seriously consider taking these good-for-nothings to court though...
You watch with both a- and bemusement as L taps his bottom lip over and over, fast.
"L," you say, "what are you thinking?"
It's not a good sign when that British accent begins to fall over his words. "I am weighing up how likely it is I would win a court case to sue for millions, strip these imbeciles of the right to technology, and publicly humiliate them. Do you think we could bring back tar-and-feathering...?"
DO NO T LET HIM. hahags it will take a solid hour or more of convincing but L will eventually give up, pouting and dedicatedly following the hashtag #iamLtoo
he might actually learn a lot about popular culture
he might also fall out of his chair in shock and cry
so, you win some, you lose some. maybe it's best to just take away his browsing privileges and remind him of whatever case he's working on. DISTRACT DISTRACT!
you're right, his pride would definitely stop him from trying to stop these "trollers" (he called them trolleys at least three times) via changing his voice filter. He made it himself, he won't give it up because of some teen living in their parents' garage!!! Though he might try to rig a program to detect people using it and delete their accounts or whatever
not sure how to segue into this one but here's another story bit
After finally calming L down and reminding him the tar-and-feather punishment was abolished for a reason, you manage to get into bed for some rest. To your surprise, L joins you, staring expressionlessly at the ceiling. This is what he always does when thinking, so you assume his mind is on the case and he's forgotten about the whole voice fiasco until he starts... cackling.
"L..."
Yep, there's a good chance he'll swing from "this is the most horrible thing that's ever happened to me ever!!??'!;;'!;';!!;"! :(" to quoting the memes.
he might actually really enjoy some of them.
though it's hard to tell if he genuinely thinks some of what these "trolleys" are doing is creative and amusing or if it's just a coping strategy for the next few months.
well, that is until he makes a subtle reference to the most viral of the videos in his next address to the public...
after that I'm afraid the craze sets off once again
L will sit back and watch with a smile
though if one of the uses of his voice filter insults him the whole thing is shut down faster than you can say tar-and-feathers
"You're a strange man, you know that?"
"So is this 'Miguel' character."
 ★━━─・‥…━━━☆
𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜
©lawlietscaramels. Do not repost on other sites, claim as your own work, edit, rewrite or “fix,” feed to AI or otherwise use unethically.
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god-of-my-world · 5 years
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HC ep 2 - Grey End Transcript
this is mostly for potential analysis, but I thought I’d post this (and any future ones) anyway. 
Characters: Charlotte, Anri, the Teacher, Students, Umbrella Man, Frei, C (mentioned)
[Vote for Anri] 
I hope your decision is the right one, Seth. This way, I'll fulfill my promises to both C and Anri. I give my vote to Anri. Anri looks at me in surprise. 
"You've...actually voted for me?" 
"We've made a promise, didn't we?"
"Ah...right. we did. We sure did! Look, Anri's voting for you too." 
Anri chooses my name in the list. 
"Attention, please! Everyone, STOP VOTING NOW! We will now count the votes. Please wait for a moment." 
3...2...1…
"Aaaaaand the one who'll amount to nothing, the most useless of all, the one with zero votes is...VINCENT WORDSWORTH! Not only he never SOCIALIZED, he didn't even attend class!"
"That's a lie. C lost all points because he ran away from the House." 
"Such a worthless being can never become useful to SOCIETY. He's destined to amount to nothing! Therefore, his SOUL DATA is CORRUPTED. Am I right, everyone?" 
The audience roars with a 'YES'. 
"What a loser." 
"...it's all because I've abandoned him." 
Everyone's clapping and laughing. 
"LOSER GOD! LOSER GOD!"
It feels like a mass psychosis. It shouldn't be like this. Anri touches my shoulder. She's smiling, just like everyone else. 
"Serves him right. It's great we didn't get chosen, right?" 
I don't know what to reply with. The guards start making their way to C. I see Umbrella Man among the crowd. His yellow eyes stand out among all. 
"What a good day, isn't it?" 
"Umbrella Man! Your employer, he-" 
"Excuse me, what?" 
"The god of this world! He's-" 
"Oh. Are you talking about that grey-haired boy? Haha. Ha. Pfft. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh god. My stomach hurts from laughter. I expected nothing less from you, to be honest. Unfortunately… That boy is a perfectly human being, not special in any kind of way. Come on, take a look at him!" 
I call out to C. 
"Vincent!" 
He hears my voice and turns around. I stare at him. What stares back at me… Is the abyss itself. Then, for a brief moment, I finally see his face. 
"..." 
A face of a small scared boy. 
"!!" 
He disappears behind the doors. I feel my feet move forward on their own. 
"Where are you going?" 
"I have to save him." 
"Are you insane? Forget that loser!" 
"I save him once. I'm now responsible for his life." 
"No, you're not! You'll stay here with me." 
"...I'm sorry, Anri. I have to go." 
"Wait!" 
Anri grabs my sweater. 
"I won't let you go! People don't return from the Smile Room! You'll stay here! Where you belong! With me!" 
I break free from her grip. 
"I'll be back in a moment, alright?" 
>NEW TASK: Save Vincent! 
[Walk into the smile room] 
You're not a loser god, C. I think you're wonderful. You're wonderful exactly because you're flawed. Because it makes you so very human. We’re flawed. We’re born to make errors. We hurt each other because we’re essentially egotistic. That's why I want to know you better. 
C is lying on the table with his eyes open. 
"Vincent!! I'm so glad you're safe. Thank god…" 
"Wait, miss Wiltshire. Something's off." 
"Eh?" 
"There's no data in this vessel. There's no soul inside." 
"What are you saying, Frei? Vincent is breathing! He's right here!" 
"What I am saying is that it's a lump of meat lying on the table. It's not a person." 
"It...can't be. No way. You're lying." 
"I do not tell lies, miss Wiltshire. We were too late." 
"..."
I feel the ink rise in my throat. Everything begins to collapse. It's not fair. Not fair. Not fair. Not fair. Why has it come to this?
I will consume everyone and have them sleep peacefully inside my belly. No one will ever hurt anyone, and no one will get hurt. Because no one would feel anything. Humanity would ascend to a new level and evolve into something greater. So I rose above all cities and countries. And ate, and ate, and ate until my belly was full. Until it hurt so much it was hard to breathe. I ate my classmates, my parents, my imaginary friends and the Oracle itself. I ate the lands and the buildings. I ate junk food and concrete altogether. Everyone was gone and my body eventually collapsed from the burden of consuming everything in sight. I became a black hole that sucked everything in, destroying it all. There was no one but me left, yet I was with everyone at the same time. For I became the world itself. 
Holding an empty shell of a false god I cried. 
“Liar! You liar! Vincent you liar! You said your earthly shell would wither and you would become a god again. Yet no matter where I look, I can’t find you!”
I cried, and cried, and cried until my voice became hoarse. I'm sorry, everyone. I couldn't save anyone or anything. I'm sorry Anri. You protected me. You got angry in my place. Yet, I thought only about myself. I’m sorry, Vincent. All this time i wanted to be saved myself. So I sought salvation in you. I wanted you to become my hero. But it doesn't matter now. 
"Now that's too tragic. Don't you think my dear?”
“You?”
“Hello there.”
You're still alive?”
“My dear, that's a harsh way to put it. Of course, I am. The world you've consumed is a particle in the vast universe.” 
“Then why are you here?”
“I've come on my own accord.”
I clutch Vincent's body close to mine.
“Easy, easy. I'm not here to take him away. Instead, I've brought you something.”
Umbrella man brings out an item he was carrying. It's a box. 
“What is it?”
“What does it look like to you?”
“A soul cube.”
“Then a cube it shall become. It's a copy of this boy's soul. it was rather hard to get. I'm afraid the original is destroyed though.”
“Souls have backup copies?”
“Well of course. Data backup is essential. You must've thought you were able to go back in time. When in reality, your soul cube copy was loaded into a new body every time you died.”
“I've never thought it was like this.”
“Although you cannot bring him back to life, with a soul cube he won't vanish from this world completely.”
“So no matter what, I couldn't save him in the end.”
“You still can save his soul. If you open the cube, you'll release his soul data. He will become a Stargazer and pass the Purgatory stage. Who knows? Perhaps he'll want to stay with you afterward. Anyhow, enough with idle talk. Charlotte Wiltshire. You've consumed the energy of an entire world and an Oracle and made it a part of you. You can convert the energy inside of you to create life from zero. When it runs out all you have to do is consume more. In short… you've become a god. A binge eater at that. That's a fact. If you don't mind, may I ask, what do you plan to do now?”
“I'm tired, Umbrella Man. I want to rest.”
“Is that all? You now have the power to consume worlds.”
“I've never asked for it.”
“Then, do you plan to leave this domain?”
“I will remain here. I don't want to eat anymore, Umbrella Man.”
“Oh well. There are alternate versions of yourself who still struggle in countless parallel worlds. So are people you care about. Will you abandon them too?”
“...no. I want to look over them. I still want to protect everyone. Umbrella Man. You know everything in this world. You exist outside of the time, in both past, present, and future alike. Would you help me watch over my world while I rest? Right now it may seem hopeless, but perhaps there's a chance for a better ending.”
“Is that an employment offer, Miss Wiltshire?”
“Yes. I want to hire you. Would you accept?”
“Fufu. My loyalty comes with a price, my dear. In return, you shall lose your name. The world will forget your human existence, and your name shall become an empty sound. Your alternative incarnations shall never learn about you, and your name will be erased from all soul archives. You will go by many names, but none of them will define you. For I will eat it. Would you pay this price?” 
“Yes. I accept, Umbrella Man.”
“So fast! You really don't value yourself at all. a contract between a Name Eater and World Eater. How thrilling. Ha-ha-ha! I suppose hiding my true nature is meaningless now. After all, it is you who invented the concept of Observers and Puppeteers alike. Such things as episodes with me talking to your Puppeteer were no more than visions of a delusional grade-schooler.”
I laugh a little. It sounds a little hysterical. 
“Have I said something funny, my dear?”
“No, it's just...You've always said that your employer cared about my well-being. Now that I realized who was all along, I couldn't help myself.”
“‘Oh the irony’, am I right? The moment you hired me was destined to happen all along.”
“By the way, ‘Umbrella Man’. That's how I called you since I was a child, right?”
“Why yes. I've grown accustomed to this distasteful nickname.” 
“Do you have a real name?” 
“I go by many names. People give them to themselves. For example, you can call me ‘Charles’.”
The man laughs mischievously. I laugh with him. 
“Now then. I shall give you some privacy. You still have things to do before your slumber, don't you?”
Just like that, Charles disappears. I look at the soul cube in my hands. It's small and grey. Fragile. I smile to myself. 
“You know Vincent, I never noticed how fragile you were. You feared germs, people and human life itself... So you've decided you didn't belong to this world. I wonder how it felt all this time. I was so fascinated with you that it made me ignorant. ...although ignorance is a trait we share. ...It's time to let you go.”
I open the soul cube. It's contents disappear. 
“...See you later, Vincent.”
I take his body in my arms and get up from my knees. Everyone - Magcat, Felix, Aiden, Bennett, Florence and Huxley, and many, many more - walks behind me. As long as I exist, they won't disappear. After all, I've created them. We walk for a long time. 
In a field of ink and paper, meat and machinery, soap and bugs, the god of this world lies beside me. He will, too, wake up one day. 
“Goodnight, Vincent.” 
My eyelids become heavy. I know it'll be a dreamless sleep. I don't want to dream anymore. I finally close my eyes. 
Rejoice Seth, faithful friend of mine. I became the god of my dollhouse world and will observe it's people until the end of time. Charles will eat my name and will watch over me in every single timeline that exists. The world will forget my existence. But you won't. And that's the only thing that's important. 
GREY END: Eternal Rest For God
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