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#[[but have my trash ted talk
rethcore · 2 months
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So is the community in agreement that the makeshift set is just Reth's terrible attempts at carpentry or has this headcannon spiraled out of control for me?
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skxrbrand · 2 years
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300+ hours in Warhammer (600+ total between all 3 games), and 80% of that time is just me ogling the models
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spookybeandoodle · 4 months
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Because I’m trash, one of my own head canons I have is that Alexis was one of the “friends” Treasure had and was at the club that night and when Porter says “You’re friends suck” it was a double meaning. Also imagine Alexis listening and being in the corner of the bar like-
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And Porter just being like
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Anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk
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yelena-bellova · 11 months
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Heartfirst: A Ted Lasso Story - Chapter Eleven
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Chapter Eleven: Christmas for Two
Plot: Away from their families, Jamie and Y/n attempt to do Christmas together.
Word Count: 4.1k
Warnings: f!reader, language, talk of alcoholism, child abuse/neglect
A/N: A little Christmas in July/Phil Dunster Emmy nomination gift for you all! I have no clue what the timeline on s3 is, but this felt like a good place to put a Christmas chapter. I also did my best to combine English and American Christmas traditions/vernacular, hopefully did okay. Hope you enjoy!! 🎄❤️
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The coach’s office was a mess of ribbons and wrapping paper.
Ted gasped as he opened the box sat in his lap, “You are kiddin’ me.”
Stood in a corner of the room, Y/n beamed.
“C’mon now,” Ted pulled out the bottle of American barbecue sauce, “Where’d you find this?”
“Specialty store in Chiswick,” Y/n replied, “I was there seeing if Britain had finally caved and brought over Ben and Jerry’s. Spoiler alert: they have not.”
Ted was grinning ear to ear, “Man, this is special. Thank you, Y/n.”
On their traditional half-day of work on Christmas, the AFC Richmond staff were holding their party. Gifts were exchanged and treats were eaten. One room over, the Greyhounds were having their own celebration.
“Yes, I think you’ve got us all beat for gifts,” Rebecca said from her corner, sniffing one of the tea bags in the collection Y/n had gifted her.
“Not true,” Y/n held up a finger before holding up the spa certificate Rebecca had just handed her. “I just know the power of American barbecue.”
“And yet,” Beard held out his hands in expectation, “None for me.”
Y/n rolled her eyes, knowing how happy he actually was with the philosophy book she’d found him.
“So,” Ted drummed his hands on his desk, “What’s everybody’s plans for today?”
“The Higgins’ door will be open and ready to receive any and all weary travelers,” Higgins volunteered, “I believe most of the boys are coming.”
“I’ve got dinner with Nora and Sassy,” Rebecca said.
“Fun,” Ted said, looking over across the room, “What about you, Roy?”
“Phoebe’s got a pageant at school,” the coach replied, “Fuck knows why it wasn’t last night.”
“Nice,” Ted smiled, “Y/n?”
Y/n exhaled, “Well, my sister couldn’t come over this year, so it’ll just be dinner with a friend.”
“What about your folks?” Ted asked.
“Yeah, uh,” Y/n tried to put on a smile, “They couldn’t make it either.”
“Too bad,” Higgins empathized, “Well, if you and your friend don’t feel like cooking, there’s always room at our table.”
Y/n nodded, “Thanks.”
Things lasted another half hour or so before people began to trickle out, off to their respective plans. Y/n stayed behind, having volunteered to clean up since everyone else’s day was time sensitive. She was just tying the trash bag of wrapping paper when there was a knock.
Jamie hung on the frame that separated the coach’s offices, “Ready to go?”
“Yeah,” Y/n set the bag in the corner of Roy’s office, “That’ll be Monday’s problem.”
Grabbing her bag of gifts and switching off the lights, Y/n glided past Jamie, who followed behind. They ducked out into the hall, some of the last people in the building.
Christmas was an off holiday for both of them. With the match against Crystal Palace that weekend, Jamie couldn’t get away to Manchester to visit his mom. And Y/n hadn’t lied when she said her sister couldn’t travel to spend the day with her, but she had lied about her parents. They had every opportunity to phone and ask her to come home, or to visit. They just chose not to.
So, with nowhere else to go, Jamie and Y/n had decided to spend the holiday together.
“Are there even any markets open on Christmas Day?” Y/n asked once they were in the parking lot.
“Yeah, I think there’s one near here,” Jamie unlocked his car door. They’d carpooled in the interest of the shopping they had planned after the party.
“I hope you thought right,” Y/n said as she climbed in the passenger seat, “Or else it’s going to be a pretty funky dinner.”
Jamie had, indeed, guessed right. There was one market open for half a day in Richmond for the cooks who’d forgotten that one ingredient. Y/n and Jamie, however, were starting completely from scratch.
“Okay,” Jamie tugged on one of the shopping trolleys and swung it around, “What do we need?”
“Everything,” Y/n stated, “You ever cooked a Christmas dinner?”
“Uh, no,” he replied, “You? We’re fucked if you say no.”
Y/n scanned the rows of aisles, unsure of where to start. “No, I have. It’s just been a while. Like, not-since-America while.”
Jamie puffed out his cheeks, “Right.”
“Okay,” Y/n clapped her hands together, “Turkey. Main attraction. Let’s start there.”
Down the aisle where the entrees should have been, there was an empty case. A few lonesome birds were still chilling, but it was clear all the good ones had been chosen long ago.
“So we’ve either got a fuckin’ Goliath,” Jamie held up a massive turkey in one arm, then the smallest in his other, “Or its baby.”
Y/n crinkled her nose at the colorful description. “I mean, that one’s meant for way more than two people,” she pointed to the first option, “It’s not like we need leftovers.“
Jamie nodded, that was true. Roy had allowed him one cheat day for the holidays, the free pass ended at 12AM, December 26th. But be was determined to enjoy the one meal.
“So the baby?” Jamie held up the small bird.
“If you stop calling it that,” Y/n grabbed the cart, “Yes.”
Jamie laughed cheekily, setting the turkey in the basket. “Right, what else?”
“Stuffing, potatoes, something for dessert,” Y/n listed items off her mental menu. She glanced over at Jamie, “Really hope we can cook.”
They went around the rest of the store, picking leftovers off the barren shelves. Unfortunately, that left either the specialty items or the nearly expired dishes, which was how they ended up with the most expensive potatoes, gluten free stuffing mix and a pudding that was on its sell-by date.
“Who was your secret Santa?” Y/n asked as they passed the wine aisle.
“Dani,” Jamie answered, “Why?”
Y/n stopped and backtracked her steps, reaching for the first bottle of red wine she saw. She’d stopped by the locker room on occasions where the Greyhounds won and had caught a whiff of the strong Mexican liquor Dani favored. A world didn’t exist where she felt like subjecting her stomach to that.
“Smart,” Jamie agreed as she popped the drink in the trolley.
They managed to get in and out quick enough that the only person who recognized Jamie was the cashier, who didn’t do more than wish him luck on the upcoming match. Y/n wasn’t used to worrying about being photographed, but she knew that any time she stepped out with Jamie, there was a chance of it.
As they loaded the bags into the boot of Jamie’s car, Y/n caught one lone present, wrapped and tied with a ribbon, pushed to the side.
“Did you forget someone today?”
“Huh?” Jamie hummed. Y/n pointed to the box. “Ah, no,” he shut the boot before she could get a better look and smirked, “That’s for later.”
Y/n pursed her lips a little, smiling as Jamie walked the cart back to its station.
“Alright,” he said as they got back in the car, “We doin’ this at my place or yours?”
Y/n thought for a second, “Do you even know how to use your kitchen?”
“Course I do,” Jamie paused a second, “I mean…pretty sure.”
“Uh-huh,” Y/n chuckled, “My place it is. That, or we ask Sam for the keys to the restaurant.”
Jamie backed the car out of its spot, “Think we need to have a bit more confidence for that.”
Y/n agreed silently, before her thoughts fell to the inevitable. A few weeks prior, during the whole Twitter fiasco, Sam’s restaurant had been broken into and destroyed. The night of the Arsenal match, the boys had all gone over to repair it, surprising Sam. Y/n had yet to see it in its restored glory.
“I feel like we got a pretty good handle, though,” Jamie interrupted her thoughts, “We got the meal, the crackers, place’ll be all decorated…”
Hoping his eyes were more focused on the road then her, Y/n grimaced.
“Yeah,” she said, “That’s, uh…”
“What?” Jamie asked.
“I’m not…totally decorated,” Y/n struggled to get out.
“You’ve got a tree at least, yeah?” Jamie replied.
Silence.
Fate bestowed him a red light, and Jamie turned to Y/n with widened eyes. “You haven’t got a tree? The fuck’s wrong with you?”
“I’ve been busy,” Y/n defended the decision, “I’ve barely been home between the away games and working late. There wasn’t much of a point in getting one.”
Jamie let his hand smack against the steering wheel, “Unbelievable.”
“Wha- you don’t have one either,” Y/n argued. There’d been a stunning lack of Christmas cheer in Jamie’s house the last week when he’d been appointed to host the monthly team dinner.
“That’s different,” Jamie put his foot to the gas as the car behind him honked.
“How?” Y/n laughed.
Jamie shrugged, “I dunno. You’re you. Figured you’d be one of those people who’s decoratin’ the day after Halloween.”
In another life, that was her. Y/n had been all over Christmas in her younger years. Every holiday was a speed bump in getting to December 24th and 25th. But once she’d graduated and started her corporate life, it became less and less of a big deal. If it was a year Caylee came to visit, she’d dust off decorations and make a show of it, but it just seemed sad to do it all on her own.
“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint,” Y/n smiled, ignoring the particular bit of backstory she didn’t feel like sharing.
“You’re not,” Jamie replied as he signaled to get into the next lane, “‘Cause we’re fixin’ this.”
Y/n looked out the window, the turn that would’ve been theirs was drifting further and further away. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
Ten minutes later, Jamie was pulling the car into a Christmas tree lot. Or rather, what once was a Christmas tree lot.
“Can’t believe these places are even open today,” Y/n commented as they walked up to the shop.
“They’re here for the sad sacks who wait till the last minute,” Jamie remarked smugly, nudging Y/n’s elbow with his.
Like the market, the lot was sparse. The only trees left were either the type that shed its needles if you breathed on it or the ones that were already turning brown.
“I’m not overwhelmed by our options,” Y/n said, scanning the rows over again.
“Hang on,” Jamie climbed behind one of the half-dead ones, having spotted a flash of green as he’d passed. He pulled out a miniature one that barely went up to his waist.
“It truly is a Charlie Brown Christmas,” Y/n remarked, smiling at the juxtaposition between Jamie’s size and the tree.
“I mean, it is going in the bin tomorrow, innit?” Jamie picked up the glorified shrub and brought it to the poor worker stuck there on Christmas Day. “We’ll take this one.”
“And we’ll just stick it in the car,” Y/n added, catching Jamie’s confusion and whispering, “We are not making him go to the trouble of tying a houseplant to the roof.”
As Y/n handed the worker a few bills, Jamie spotted a small stack of ornaments and stands for sale as well. He grabbed one of each and pulled a few pounds out his wallet, adding to the total.
“Thank you,” Y/n said to the man, “Merry Christmas.”
Jamie looked proud as they walked back to the car, “Now it’s Christmas.”
Y/n couldn’t argue with him.
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Once they got back to Y/n’s place, Jamie took over unpacking the groceries, while Y/n dug through the hall closet to find some lights for the tree.
“Oi,” Jamie called down the hallway, holding the box of stuffing, “We can still cook this normal, yeah? We don’t have to do anything different.”
“I would think,” Y/n yelled back, waist deep in old boxes, “It’s just bread.”
Jamie went back to the kitchen, he remembered his way around from when they’d unpacked it months ago. The only thing that had changed was the light fixture.
“That’s new,” he said, hearing Y/n’s footsteps approaching.
“Oh, yeah,” she replied, setting an old strand of multicolored lights on the counter, “Ted helped me install it last week. Couple shocks…mostly Ted, but we got it up.”
Jamie chuckled.
“Okay,” Y/n looked to the pile of food beside the stove, “I’ll do the turkey, you start on sides?”
Giving a little salute, Jamie went about grabbing bowls and spoons. Y/n pre-heated the oven and took the turkey out of its wrapping.
“Ugh,” she groaned, peeking inside the bird, “I forgot how disgusting this part is.”
Jamie glanced over and scoffed, “Nope.”
Y/n shut her eyes as she reached in and pulled out the giblets, nearly gagging as she did.
“Carry on with that,” Jamie teased, making a show of pouring in the very dry stuffing mix, “I’ll stay doing this.”
Annoyed, and slightly jealous, Y/n cupped the unmentionable parts of the turkey in her hands and approached Jamie.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he held up a wooden spoon as if it were a shield, “Get away. There’s probably, like, four different bird diseases in there.”
“Yep,” Y/n continued walking towards him, “Don’t get smug in my kitchen, or you’ll be benched with three of them.”
Jamie held up his hands in defeat, “Truce.”
The two of them snorted and snickered before carrying on with their tasks.
It all flowed rather well. Even though they were lacking in skill, Y/n and Jamie felt good about how well everything seemed to be going. In between mixing and flipping, they managed to get the tree in its stand and start decorating. As Jamie was finishing with the ornaments, Y/n popped over to check the turkey, surprised by what she found.
“Shit,” she exclaimed, reaching for the oven mitts.
“What?” Jamie called.
Hurriedly, she opened the oven door and pulled the bird out. The outer layer was far beyond well done, looking tough and chewy.
Jamie entered then, puzzled, but chuckling. “Thought you said you knew how to cook a dinner.”
“I do,” Y/n replied, her voice jumping an octave, “With a much bigger bird. This is a pigeon!”
Jamie was full on laughing by then, covering his mouth.
“Oh, yeah, Padma Lakshmi,” Y/n retorted with a smirk, “Smell that?”
The air was thick with the scent of something burning, and it wasn’t the meat. Jamie pushed past Y/n to get to the stuffing and potatoes he’d put on. Determining the stuffing was the cause of the scent, he switched the burner off and attempted to scoop it out of the pot.
What came out was one giant clump, burnt to a crisp on the bottom and around the edges.
Y/n snorted as she set the turkey on the counter, hand on her hip as she watched Jamie work up a reply. When he came up with nothing, holding the burnt blob on an oversized fork, the two of them fell into a fit of laughter.
In the spirit of Christmas magic, they were able to salvage the dinner. They scooped out the good stuffing, trimmed the chewy parts of the turkey off, and agreed the potatoes were the only dish that looked semi-normal.
After, with their paper crowns on their heads, Jamie and Y/n sat on opposite ends of the couch, still amused at their efforts.
“I think we did pretty good,” Jamie gestured to his chest.
Y/n made a doubtful noise, “We’re a ways away from opening our own Ola’s.”
“We’re keeping takeaways in business,” Jamie replied, “Think about it that way.”
“Oh, that we are,” Y/n smiled, taking a sip of wine, “That we are. And hey, you got to eat.”
Jamie slapped a hand over his sated stomach, “Don’t know if my body’s knows what to do with it.”
Y/n laughed before Jamie smacked his hands together. “Right, time for gifts.”
Y/n stayed in her spot, “That’s assuming I got you anything.”
Jamie looked back from the front door, shooting her a quirked eyebrow. Y/n smiled and got up, like there was a chance in hell she’d have neglected to get him something.
They each went to retrieve the gifts, meeting back on the couch. Jamie was holding the mystery box he’d had stashed in his trunk.
“You first,” he said as they swapped packages.
Y/n unwrapped the square, nearly holding her breath as she took off the box’s lid. Peeling back the tissue paper revealed-
“Oh, good Lord.”
Jamie was somewhere between a grin and a smirk. Whatever it was, he wore it proudly.
Y/n held up the #9 ‘Tartt’ jersey and smirked at Jamie. “Really?”
“You’re gonna work at a football club, you gotta have a kit,” Jamie shrugged.
“And it had to be #9, huh?” Y/n quirked an eyebrow, “Couldn’t have been Colin or Sam’s?”
Jamie scoffed, “They ain’t your favorite.”
Y/n let out a single laugh, “What makes you think you are?”
“Don’t see either of them sittin’ here on Christmas with ya,” Jamie replied, “In a flat they found for ya, eatin’ a dinner they cooked with ya.”
It was hard not to laugh at Jamie’s cockiness. Behind the raging over-confidence, there was something sweet behind the gesture that Y/n could appreciate.
“Well,” Y/n set the jersey back in the box, “I’m not wearing it to matches.”
“Oh, why not?” Jamie asked unseriously.
“Because I’m there for all of you,” Y/n smirked, “And if I’m wearing anyone’s shirt, it’ll be Roy’s.”
“Oh, fuck off,” Jamie moaned. Roy and Y/n had bonded on the mornings she joined them for training. The two of them took such joy in torturing Jamie.
Y/n set the Tartt box to the side and handed Jamie his gift. He went about unwrapping it, a little speechless when he removed the last of the paper.
“This from last week’s match?” He asked.
“Mm-hm,” Y/n hummed, hugging her legs to her chest.
In a thick silver frame was a picture of the Greyhounds on the pitch at Nelson Road. Sam, Jamie and Isaac were the most prominently featured. Sam had just scored a goal and a heap of the players were celebrating. It was a perfect representation of the brotherhood they carried with them on and off the field.
“One of the photographers snapped it and I asked him to send it to me,” Y/n explained, “I noticed you didn’t have any pictures up at your place, thought this could be the first one.”
Jamie’s home decor was less than personal. His first few years in the Premier League hadn’t come with many close relationships, his own fault. Most of his family pictures were tainted with memories of something that had happened the days they were taken involving his dad. That didn’t leave him many options.
But this, Jamie thought as he weighed the frame in his hand, this was special. Not only was it his team, his mates, his place in the world, but Y/n had seen the value of it all.
Jamie looked up at her, the corners of his lips tugging upwards, “I love it.”
Y/n grinned, shopping for everyone had been stressful. It had been a long time since she’d had to choose personal gifts, and there’d been a part of her that wanted to throw away the whole gesture. But she’d pushed past her instincts, choosing to give into sentiment. One look at how touched Jamie and the others had been told her it had been worth it.
“Well,” Jamie set the frame on the coffee table, next to his kit, “We can call this a win, yeah?”
“For sure,” Y/n said, reaching out to clink her wine glass against Jamie’s, “Best makeshift Christmas ever.”
“Yeah,” Jamie cackled.
“Best Christmas you’ve ever had?” Y/n asked, “Go.”
Jamie blew out a breath, thinking back. The last few holidays had been spent either in Manchester with his mum or on his own. Two years before, when he was back at Man City, he’d ended up with his dad for part of the day, which left him miserable. If he was being honest, the last Christmas Jamie had truly enjoyed was the one he was currently celebrating.
“Eh, probably when I were a kid,” he answered, “Forget how old I was, but it was the first year I remember being really into football. Me mum got me my first kit.”
Y/n looked over her wineglass, “Was it Roy’s?”
Jamie sighed, glaring softly at her, “Not the point.”
Y/n chortled.
“It was one year me dad was too drunk to remember what day it were,” Jamie went on, his eyes falling on the wall as the memories hit, “Spent the whole day worried he was gonna show up, but…never did. By dinner, I think even mum knew he weren’t coming ‘round, and everything just sorta…relaxed, y’know? Didn’t feel like Christmas till then.”
Jamie’s blue eyes melted into some sort of sad resignation. It was a piece of his history that still hurt, but enough time had passed to see the silver lining, if there was one to be found. He wouldn’t have told the story to anyone else, but this was Y/n. She understood.
Y/n smiled softly, feeling the melancholia. “And you went to bed wearing your little Roy Kent jersey?”
Jamie’s smile came back, thankful for the change in tone. “Fuck you,” he replied, downing the last of his wine, “Right, what’s yours?”
Y/n sighed, like Jamie, there weren’t many to pick from. “Probably when I was eleven. My parents were hosting some party and they pawned me and my sister off on our grandparents. I think they could see that they had zero interest in being with us or giving us a good Christmas, so they went overboard. My grandma got me and Caylee in the kitchen cooking with her,” Y/n glanced at the kitchen where the remnants of dinner sat, “Clearly none of the skills stuck with me. My grandpa had all the movies playing, he tried to keep us laughing as much as he could.”
Taking a breath, Y/n continued, “I remember Caylee and I wrote this Christmas play before dinner. There was a lot of dancing and a lot of off-key singing,” she laughed, Jamie snorted, “But…damn it if our grandparents weren’t up on their feet clapping as if we’d just done Hamlet.”
Though shitty parents came as no surprise to Jamie, he was still a bit shocked. His voice was soft as he asked, “They really just left you?”
Y/n nodded, hugging herself, “Most years.”
The two of them sat in silence, their mutual history sitting in the gap between their bodies. The holidays amplified the best in the world, goodwill and generosity, but for those already hurting, the ever-present loneliness only intensified.
“Don’t know why people have kids if they don’t want ‘em,” Jamie mused, his eyes flitting to Y/n.
She shrugged, her hand curled against her lips. “I’ve been asking myself that since I was old enough to. Haven’t found an answer yet.”
In the moment their eyes met, Y/n and Jamie were struck by just how similar they really were. They’d known it already, it was one of the reasons they got along so well, but it felt like there was a different reality to it. Another layer peeled back, another piece of themselves they were entrusting to the other. And, above all other things, it was safe.
Y/n sniffled, wiping a stray tear away, “This is getting depressing. It’s Christmas.”
“Yeah,” Jamie cleared his throat.
Climbing off the sofa, Y/n went over to the kitchen bar and grabbed her Bluetooth speaker. She connected her phone and pulled up her Christmas playlist.
Jamie watched from his spot on the couch as she slid over to him, hand extended. “What are we doing?”
“We’re going to dance,” Y/n replied, “And we’re going to celebrate the fact that it’s Christmas and we’re somewhere better than we’ve been.”
If it were another day, Jamie wouldn’t have hesitated to make some joke of what Y/n had said. How of course it was better, because he was there. But all he really wanted to do, and what he did do, was take her hand, anchor them together and dance to whatever overly cheery song was playing.
All over Richmond, the uplifting mood was hitting its peak. Ted was on the phone with Henry, sharing his dinner and his son’s lunch, talking about what Santa had brought. Rebecca was giggling with Nora and Sassy at a five star restaurant. Keeley was seated at a full family table at her mother’s. Roy was with his sister, applauding Phoebe as her and her classmates took their bows. Beard was helping Leslie carve a massive turkey as Sam, Dani, Jan, and the rest of the Greyhounds sat around foldout tables. Y/n and Jamie were giggling uncontrollably as he picked her up and spun her around, the sounds of Nat King Cole filling the flat.
For all of them, it was Christmas to remember.
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Heartfirst Taglist: @lalla-04p @optimisticsandwichgladiator @makingmunson94 @taytaylala12 @storysimp @sokkigarden @lightninginab0ttle @poohkie90 @alipap3 @verra-nerevarine @shineforever19 @spaceagechimera @burnafter-reading @qardasngan @cyberpvnk-enthusiast @sogoodtoheritsvicious @buckybarnex @angelsunflxwer @blueanfield @thewildestwonderland @sablecities @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @strawberryacethingz @mentalistfan @tortilla-maria1 @katdahlali @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @glitterquadricorn @jamieolivia27 @imvibin69 @katlizada @lil-tracys @fanaticalfantasist @heyitz-julia @cactajuice @peachyy-tea @notalxx @rockchickrebel @anxiety-prime-max @loveforaugust @jellycolors @actuallybarb @heletsmelovehim @lovinnscarletknight @imfalling-inlove @leslieiscrying @meg-ro @littlemisssunshine192 @beboldbebravethings @maydayfigment @spencerreidsbookclub @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @lemoonandlestars
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crazyk-imagine · 1 year
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Mended Relationships and the Future
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Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Fem!reader Characters: Fem!reader, Ted Lasso, Coach Beard, Keeley Jones, Jamie Tartt, Rebecca Welton, Isaac Mcadoo, Colin Hughs, Sam Obisanya, Dani Rojas, Jan Maas, Roy Kent, literally all of the players (I just can’t think of their names) Warnings: Slight angst, fluff, cursing, mentions of pregnancies, mentions of reader not taking care of themselves (don’t do this), Jamie being sweet, reader and Jamie being dummies for a second, the team being so goddamn adorable, the team gives such family vibes, Jamie pretending the reader and he are engaged so he can stay with her, Ted and Beard are a powerful duo, this is my favorite TL fic that I’ve written Word Count: 3,783
A/N: Bits and pieces are based on this post
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You walk into the coach’s office with your hands in your hoodie pocket, clutching onto your phone to keep your hands busy. "Why did you wake me up and force me here, Ted?" 
"That's not a can-do attitude." 
Your expression doesn't change, if anything, you look more tired and drained. Another reason why the mustached man got you out of your home. "Ted." 
He sighs. "I wanted to check in on you, haven't seen you in a minute." 
You sigh. "I would prefer it if I were in my bed right now to be honest with you." 
"After we go out to lunch." 
"I want to be out of here before I run into..." You pause when you almost say his name. "You know what- I'm just- I’m gonna go." You barely turn around and hear the door open. 
It takes you less than a second to duck, which makes Ted feel a little bad but doesn't change his mind. 
He knows you two need to talk, especially when neither of you want to admit who broke up with who... or why it happened. 
Your emotions take a toll on your body again and you crawl towards the trash can, dry heaving until you feel it coming up (again). 
Beard kindly closes the door before anyone could walk in or hear you as Ted rubs the space between your shoulders. 
"How long have you been feeling like this?" 
You shrug. 
"How long?" He asks again. 
"A few weeks." 
Ted glances over at his long-time buddy with wide eyes. "Please don't get upset or take offense when I ask this but have you-" 
'Play dumb. Play dumb.' "Have I what? Use words, my brain isn't functioning off your noises." 
"Is there a possibility that you could be, you know, with child?" 
Your head snaps up. 'He knows.' "Why would you ask that?" 
"You have a few of the signs." 
"When was the last time you went to a doctor?" Beard chimes in. 
"A while ago." 
"So, you know?" 
"Whether or not I'm pregnant with my ex-boyfriend’s baby, who coincidentally told me he doesn't want kids just as I wanted to tell him I do. Yeah, it was right as I was about to tell him I am with child, which is why I've been dodging all of you but you and Beard here," you point to Ted's sidekick, who waves. "Dragged me out of my house." 
"Oh, honey." 
"Does he know?" Coach beard intervenes (again). 
"What do you mean?" 
"You said, you wanted to tell him... did you?" Ted politely asks. 
"He broke up with me, so I didn't give him my surprise, but I tell people it was mutual because he asked me if," the tears roll down your cheeks. "If it was okay. The fucking ex-cockiest player of all, asked me if I was going to be okay, so of course I said yes and then he left. We haven't spoken since." 
"He should know." 
"I know but he is scared to death to have his own kids. Why would I-" You scoot back and rest your head against the wall. "I want to go home. I have a few things coming later today and I need to be there for them. It’s time I start," you take a deep breath. “Getting things ready.” 
"We can get those later, I've gotta make sure you're okay right now." 
"I'd be better if this nausea, vomiting combo would go away." 
"Do you want me to have Keeley get you a ginger ale or something?" 
"Yeah." 
The door opens and there she is. She stares at you with the same look she gives you every time you throw up. "I had a feeling you were going to need this." 
-
Jamie sees what he imagines is a glimpse of you sitting in his coach’s office. He furrows his brows, wondering if it was really, you or if it's a figment of his imagination... again. 
It wouldn’t be the first time this week. 
-
"What?" She practically screams when Ted tells her on behalf of you, the Jamie not knowing part; she already knew you were pregnant, but she thought he knew and decided not to be in either of your lives. Now she feels a little bad about not being nice to him. 
You bury your head in your hands. "Shut up. Don't shout anymore, please." 
"Can you blame me? That's big fucking news babes. I thought he already knew." 
"Yeah, I know. Just, shut the door please." 
She doesn't, so you push yourself up and close the door. 
You sway as you take a step back, “oh, boy.” You can hear their voices but not hear their words. You feel yourself falling backwards before it fades to darkness. 
Ted and Beard catch you, carefully laying you down so the latter can call for an ambulance. 
Jamie steps closer to the office, sensing something’s happened. He opens the door and his jaw dropped as he’s about to ask what's going on until his eyes land on you. 
He immediately falls to his knees beside you, holding your face in his hands, not caring about the rug burn that’s going to ache later. "What happened?" 
No one responds. 
"What fucking happened?" 
Ted doesn't feel he should be the one to tell him and does all that he can to try and calm down his player. "She's fine, she probably didn't have enough to eat for breakfast, is all." 
"Bullshit. She's done that before and never fainted before." He stares down, studying your face. "So, why is she fucking unconscious?" 
-
You don't know anything that happened within the last few hours. 
All you know is that there is an annoying beeping sound coming from the side of you and your one hand is warmer than it normally is. 
You slowly open your eyes, blinking multiple times as you try to adjust to the lighting. You look for the source of the warmth and find Jamie, holding your hand with his head rested on his arm with his head facing you. 
The door opens and you find Ted peaking in. 
The way his shoulder sags in relief makes you feel bad. 
He tiptoes closer and lets you know what happened. 
"Why is he here?" 
He smiles as he peaks over at the sleepy man. "He didn't leave your side." 
"How did he know?" 
"He came in as we were calling for an ambulance. You scared him, he would barely let the paramedics help." 
"Isn't family only allowed in here?" 
"Apparently you two are engaged." 
You owlishly blink. "What?" 
"He said you two were engaged and he needed, no, no. That's not right, he demanded, there it is. He demanded to be in the room with you. I wasn't here for most of it. In the room I mean but I think he knows because he looked very shocked and then came in here when they told him he could and hasn’t left since." 
The coach ignores the fact that your heart monitor spikes as you ask, "he knows?" 
"I think so." 
Jamie moves a little in his sleep. 
"That's my cue to leave." 
"Wait- no. Ted. Come back." You glance between him and Jamie. "Ted," you hiss. "Come back here." 
Jamie squeezes your hand as he slowly begins to wake up. 
You look back at him just in time to hear the door close. You throw your head back and sigh. 
"Sweetheart?" 
You slowly turn your head to stare at him, your eyes becoming sad. 
His shoulders sag in relief as a slow sigh escapes his parted lips. "How are you feeling? I should- I should go get the doctor, shouldn't I?" 
You reach for him, grabbing onto him before he could leave. "Jaim. Jaim?" 
He doesn't turn around but settles back into his seat. 
"Jam-Jam?" 
A sniffle fills the room. 
"Jamie, look at me." 
He shakes his head. You tighten your grip on his arm, ignoring the familiar burning sensation in your nose. "Jamie, I need you to look at me." 
"Why?" He sniffles, staring at you with his now, bloodshot eyes. "Were you ever going to tell me?" 
"Don't throw that question my way, Tartt." 
"No more, Jam-Jam?" 
"I was going to tell you." 
"What? After the birth?" 
"I'm more tempted to now." You wipe the stray tear that tipped past your eye lid before he could see. "I initially planned on telling you right when you broke up with me but, we see how well that turned out." 
“Wh- is that what you had been trying to do the whole time?” 
You nod and lean forward, drawing him into you; needing to comfort him and be comforted all at once. 
He moves closer to you, closing his eyes at the feeling of your hand against his face; something he hasn’t felt in what feels like, forever. He hadn’t realized you were wiping away his tears. 
“I wanted to figure out the best way to tell you because, I mean we hadn’t exactly talked about us having kids before and I kind of figured that with everything that went on with your dad. I thought it was going to make it hard for you to think that you could be a good dad. Which, I think is stupid.” 
He opens his mouth to ask what you mean until you continue. 
“I mean, how could you not be a good dad because personally I think you’d be absolutely fucking phenomenal.” 
“Yeah?” 
You nod, “big time. You’re already doing better than your dad.” 
“What do you mean?” 
You smile and sniff. “You’re not making any of the stupid decisions he has.” 
“I made one.” 
You tilt your head. “What was that?” 
“I broke up with you. I just-” He pulls back from you (something he does when he feels like he’s undeserving of something). “I thought- I thought you were pulling away to break up with me and you couldn’t figure out how to do it, so I-” 
“So, you thought breaking up with me first, was a better option?” 
He nods, scratching his head. 
“Come closer.” 
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he weakly argues. 
“Come here.” 
He scoots the chair closer. 
“I need you to be honest with me when I ask these questions, okay?” 
He nods. 
You sigh through your nose and reach for his hand. “Is there any part of you that does not want to be a part of either of our lives?” 
“No.” 
“Do you want to be with me?” 
“Yes.” 
“Are you going to leave any time soon?” 
“The fuck do you take me for? I’m not going to leave you ever,” he stands up and bends down, staring into your eyes before leaning down to kiss you. “Okay? I love you too fucking much to let you go again. I hated being away from you.” 
“Same here but, I’m really happy you’re here… even if it was because I fainted.” 
“Speaking of, why did that happen exactly?” 
“I- well- I hadn’t had anything-” 
“Let’s just cut the bullshit, have you been taking proper care of yourself since we were separated?” 
You shamefully shake your head. 
He doesn’t show his disappointment, but you know it’s there. 
“I’m sorry,” you sniffle. 
“Hey, hey. Don’t cry. Isn’t that- crying is stressful on the baby, ain’t it?” 
“Not so much- I mean, maybe?” 
“Okay, well.” He grabs your hands, bringing your attention to him. “Let’s take a few deep breathes so we can calm down for Baby Tartt.” You can’t help but chuckle. “Do do do doo.” 
“Listen to you. Guess I rubbed off on you, eh?” You roll your eyes, not believing that for a second. “Does any of what you’ve said within the last two minutes sound anything like what your dad could say?” 
“Not in the least bit.” 
“See, exactly. It further proves you’re different and how much you’ve grown from the cocky man who couldn’t care less about anyone else.” 
“Hey. That’s someone we don’t speak of.” 
“Of course,” you salute him. You two can barely keep your amusement to yourselves and break into a fit of smiles and giggles. 
He stares at you, watching as you wipe your cheeks and leans up, kissing your forehead before placing his on top of your head. “I was,” he hesitates to finish his sentence. 
You nod and cup his cheek, letting him know you’re there, a simple gesture to let him know you want to hear what he has to say. 
“-so scared when I saw you lying there unconscious.” 
Your heart drops at the way his voice cracks. “Jaim. Jaim. Look at me.” 
He shakes his head. 
You don’t push any further and instead opt for bringing him closer, letting him rest against your chest, squeezing you in a hug. 
It takes a few minutes before Jamie manages to calm himself down enough to revert back to your adorable boyfriend. “Oh, shit. I didn’t hurt the baby, did I?” He asks, now scared to touch you. 
“No. You didn’t.” 
You hold out your hand for him, “do you trust me?” 
He nods, “’course I do.” 
“Give me your hand.” 
He slowly inches his hand closer and closer to you. 
You huff and reach for him. “Are you ready?” 
He doesn’t move or make a noise as you place his hand over your belly. “Am I supposed to be feeling anything?” 
“Other than knowing the fact you are going to be a father soon enough, no. I’m not that far along for us to feel any kicking.” 
He bends down as a breath of relief escapes him. “Thank god, I thought I was supposed to feel kicking or something and I didn’t, which scared me the hell out of me because I thought he already hated me.” 
“He?” 
“I mean, hello,” he gestures to himself. You roll your eyes and take your hand back from him. “You’re so going to be cursed with girls.” “How can you say that?” 
“Have you met yourself?” 
“I have and we’re actually quite happy together, sorry for the late notice, sweetheart.” 
You close your eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. 
Ted peaks his head in through the door. “I see you two have talked things out? Hopefully, if not. No pressure. Well, maybe a little seeing as I have everyone waiting in the hall.” 
“Everyone?” You repeat. 
The coach nods. “Give me second.” He looks back over his shoulder, pretending to count, “one, two, four. Yep, everyone.” 
You place your hand on your forehead. “Suddenly the thought of everyone knowing makes me nauseous.” 
“Hey, hey. Look at me.” 
You turn your head and look at your favorite person ever… for now. 
“If we can get through the team being little shits and the press making unnecessary comments about our relationship, we can get through the team knowing.” 
“We can?” He gives you an affirmative nod, “we can.” 
“We can.” 
“Atta girl.” 
“Alright, guys. They said okay,” Ted waves everyone in. 
“I suddenly realize how many of you there actually are,” you comment. 
Sam, Dani, and Colin chuckled. 
“As captain, I feel like it’s my duty to ask,” Isaac leans closer to you, talking to you in a softer tone than his normal one. “How are you?” 
You smile, “I’m better now.” 
“Good, that’s what we like to hear. Ain’t that right, team?” 
“Yes, coach!” 
“And now I’m scared.” 
“Oh, don’t be scared especially when you’re carrying a special bundle of joy,” the mustached man points out. 
“Oh fuck.” 
“Something the matter, Roy?” Ted asks. 
“Yeah. She’s carrying Tartt’s baby.” 
“I’m pretty sure they covered that topic back in school but continue.” 
“There’s going to be a baby brought into the world soon.” 
“Yeah?” Ted glances over at Beard, who shrugs. 
“With his blood coursing through its veins,” he points to your ex-not-ex-boyfriend. 
It’s quiet for three seconds before everyone groans and rolls their eyes, they think about what it could be like with a baby Jamie. 
“Hey, hey now. Let’s not think about something as crazy as that because this baby is a good thing.” 
“Yeah?” Jamie whispers, glancing back at Ted, not letting go of your hand. 
“Yes, it is,” the coach nods. “You’re going to go through one of the many joys life brings you.” 
“What’s that?” 
“Fatherhood… that, may or may not mix with a lot of uncles and two aunts who decide they want to spend time with the little booger.” 
“Would one of those many figures happen to include you, coach?” 
“No,” Ted shakes his head. 
“Not at all, Beard.” 
The door opens and heads turn. 
“Hi, I’m just here to-” The nurse takes note of the number of people in the room. “I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask anyone but the father and mother of the child to leave.” 
“Is it not believable that a woman could have this many boyfriends?” Jan asks. 
“Shut up.” A shoe aimed at his head, hits the wall and lands on the floor with a thud. 
The guys decide it’s time for them to leave, which lets you two see the few things the team has gotten, and it makes you tear up, freaking Jamie out. 
And he doesn’t want to admit it out loud, but it was really nice of them team to do. 
“Should we open some presents?” Ted softly asks, placing one in your lap. 
“Didn’t the nurse just kick you out.” 
“I’m your dad.”
 “We’re your dads,” Beard adds. 
You glance over at Jamie. 
He shrugs, not completely hating the idea of having these two around. “I would’ve liked to know about my new parents beforehand. What’s next? Roy’s my uncle.” 
“No, he’s a granddad more than anything,” Jamie chimes in. 
You wipe your cheeks and smile at him before gently pulling the tissue paper out of your way. You pull out a onesie that looks normal, until you unfold it and inspect it. You sniffle as you hold it up for Jamie to see. 
He doesn’t realize why you’re crying until he reads what the back of it, “Tartt 9”. He doesn’t feel the tears trickling down his cheeks until you wipe his cheeks. 
“Jaim?” 
He shakes his head and pulls you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head, over and over again. 
Ted smiles behind his phone. 
“We should probably give them some time alone.” 
“You think?” He asks. 
Beard nods. 
Ted sighs, “okie dokie.” 
They hold their hands up to wave, only to find your face squished against Jamie’s chest, barely able to wave them off. 
You and Jamie wind up opening every one of the other gifts, enjoying each other’s company after being apart for so long. 
“I think we should name it Jamie.” 
“Baby Tartt is not an it, it’s a baby,” you argue. 
“And we’re not naming them Jamie.” 
“Why not? It’s a good name.” 
“I’m not saying it’s a bad name but, we want our little pumpkin to be able to grow into their own, right?” 
“We-” He sighs, thinking about it, already knowing you were right. “Yeah.” 
“Good.” 
“Was that everything?” 
“I don’t know.” He glances over, finding a bag left on the floor, partially hidden so you couldn’t find it unless you were really looking. He grabs it and sets it in your lap. “What do you think it is?” 
“I don’t know,” you shrug and move it closer for him to open (feeling you’ve done enough of the unveiling with presents). 
He pulls a figure out of the bag. “A bike?” Jamie brows furrows together in confusion until he thinks about it. The light bulb goes off in his head, everything clicking together, and he smiles. 
“Is there a card?” 
“I hope so.” 
Now you’re confused. 
He pulls out what looks like a plain index card. “Free one learn how to ride a bike pass.” He chuckles. 
“I’m lost.” 
“Remember how I told you I had something funny I wanted to tell you a couple months ago, but I couldn’t because the shithead was making me train, even though Ted gave us the night off.” He huffs and sits back in the chair. 
“Okay, I don’t need the background information, just give me the synopsis.” 
“Right,” he straightens his back. “I taught Roy how to ride a bike in memory of his granddad.” 
“You did?” 
“Yeah,” he nods with a smile. 
“And he let you?” 
“Not without trying to hurt me but I did it.” 
“I’m so proud of you.” 
“Yea- really?” 
“Of course, I’m proud of you. You taught the world’s grumpiest man how to ride a bike and lived to tell the tale.” 
“I guess you’re right.” 
“Of course, I’m right.” 
“I hope the baby doesn’t get your cockiness.”
“My cockiness? What about yours?” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetheart.” 
“You lie.” 
He fake gasps and slaps his hand on his chest. “I take offense to that.” 
“I’m not sorry.” 
“You should be. We don’t want this one’s first word to be a lie.”
“It wouldn’t, don’t be mean,” you whine. 
“I’m not. I’m just being me.” 
“Yeah, and that’s mean.” 
He smiles and shakes his head. 
You start folding a few of the blankets the guys got, feeling the need to do something. “Hey, look. They got one with sharks.” 
“We don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl.” 
“Girls can like boy things too.” 
“Do you really want to be asked if we have a boy or a girl every day.” 
“Don’t be mean.” You smile, holding it close to your chest. “I like it. Baby Tartt, do do doo doo. Baby Tart, do do doo doo.” 
He groans, “please stop.” 
“Never.” 
You stiffle a yawn. 
“Come on,” he takes away the few things on your lap and blanket from your hands. “You need to rest.” 
“But I don’t want to.” 
He smiles at the whining tone in your voice. “I know but it’ll do the two of you well.” 
“Fine,” you tell him with a pout. “But sit by me. I… I’ve missed you.” 
“How can I say no to my girlfriend?” Jamie settles beside you and lets you lay against his chest. 
As you sleep and he’s bored, searching through the hospital’s shitty channels, he stumbles upon something interesting, an old childhood show he used to watch. 
You open your eyes to hear the song you briefly sang earlier. 
“Doo doo. Baby Tartt, do do doo doo.” 
“Jam-Jam?” 
“Hey,” he clears his throat. “How are you feeling?” 
“Better. What were you doing?” 
He shrugs. 
You smile and snuggle back into him. “I won’t tell anyone.”
788 notes · View notes
sideeve · 10 months
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synopsis ; after being pestered for weeks about going to ted’s party, you finally stepped out of your comfort zone. notes ; evil!ted , i only used pictures of keanu ooc bc i couldn’t find a good one , s*x , i tried making this have an 80’s feeling , that’s about it 🫠 , reader’s race . ethnicity . hair type or color is not specified
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“you’re such a buzzkill. you’re wearing jean shorts and a spaghetti top to ted’s party.” sophie scoffs, applying her red bright lipstick that you advised her not to wear while holding her handheld mirror.
“you know i don’t like going out to parties. they always get ruined by the police.” you shrug.
your friends were not helping your anxiety in any way. they were picking fun at how you dressed, put on your makeup, the way you did your hair. it wasn’t your fault that you weren’t a quick-curl barbie.
“can we just get this over with? i wanna go home.” you stand up, crossing your arms. “yeah, daniel should be here in a minute.”
ah yes. daniel. the boy you’ve tried telling sophie that he wasn’t the one. he’s hit on you many times. sometimes even in front of her. groped you. the whole 9 yards. but she was to in love to see how much of a bad man he is.
you roll your eyes, waiting for this whole night to be over.
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“there’s ted!” sophie squeals, pointing at the party host. he was talking to some jocks that go to your school. all with bad rep.
the house was full and trashed. you could barely make it to the couch without being pushed or sandwiched in between someone.
“someone having a bad time?” ted leans over the couch, whisper ling in your ear.
this wasn’t your first encounter with him. once, you and him and a project together. but of course, you did all the work and only got half credit.
you were real picky about your grades and now that ted logan came in and screwed it all up, you tried avoiding him.
“you just love bothering me, huh?” you cross your arms and your leg. “you didn’t get enough when you screwed up my grade?” he scoffs, “it was a C. get over it.” he jumps over the couch, sitting next to you.
“what are you doing here anyways? you don’t like going out from what i heard.” he rests his arm behind you, watching the party go on. “my friends basically forced me to get out.” you sigh.
“good,” he snickers. “your face was always stuffed in a book.” “oh shut up. you’re mad because you have a 4th grade reading level.” you tease.
the both of you turned your head to each other at the same time, laughing.
you don’t remember what happened in the in between. but now ted was naked and shedding off your clothes. “i knew you were hot under those clothes.” he chuckles, taking a nipple into his mouth and swiping the pad of his thumb on the other, making you shiver.
“fuck, ted.” your back arches. his teeth slightly nibble at your bud, “ted.” you smack his head, making him laugh. “i was having fun.” “not while chewing on my tit.”
he softly laughs, crawling on top of you. “we should’ve done this sooner.” he kisses your collarbone while sliding in you. “you better pull out, ted.” you wince, adjusting to size.
he hissed at how tightly you clenched around him. “fuck, baby. you might cut my dick off.” he laughs as his hips start thrusting in you. one hand was placed on your waist and the other was holding your hand beside your head.
for some reason, the thrusts felt…passionate. like he’s been needing this from you. “yes, yes.” you chant, coaxing him to go faster. “fuck yes.” your eyes were screwed shut.
he rested his head in the crook of your neck, suppressing his moans and grunts as the tip of his cock kissed your walls. “you feel like heaven.” he kisses behind your ear
your toes were curled. legs were shaking. you could barely talk. all signs of how close your orgasm was. “that’s right , baby. come.” he gave one more sharp thrust before the knot in your stomach broke.
he grunts before pulling out and flipping you on your stomach in one quick motion. “te-” his cock was pushed into you again but he was pounding into you.
his grip on your hips were sure to leave bruises tomorrow. the wind was knocked out of you. only pants and grunts slipped from ted’s mouth. “fuck yes.” he bit his lip. “fuck, baby.” his hip snapped before he pulled out, spilling his seed on your back.
“je-jesus.” he pants out, flopping beside you. “your nut is on my back.” you point out. “so?” he shrugs, not understanding why you seem upset. “how am i gonna get it off?!”
he chuckles at how concerned you are then kisses your cheek. “i’ll clean it up tomorrow.”
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taglist ;; @iovesia
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gaysadcowboys · 5 months
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Okay, I've been thinking about this -- and hear me out -- I actually like that Shane's room is messy.
As someone who suffers from chronic depression, I can tell you that sometimes, cleaning seems nigh on impossible. Getting off the couch is a herculean feat, never mind picking up a stray piece of trash. Maybe you dumped a can of soda and tell yourself you'll clean it up eventually. Then eventually turns to a week, and then two, and finally, the stains have sunk into the floor, and you're gonna have to scrub it. Well, that sounds even more unattractive than wiping something up, don't you think?
Also, I don't suffer from addiction, but I know that much like depression, it is not a linear path. You don't just get better, it doesn't work that way. You find ways to live with it, to cope, but it doesn't go away. It's not pretty, but it's not supposed to be. I can understand not wanting to subject yourself to that, and that's valid. But ultimately, people marrying Shane aren't trying to 'fix' him. If you are, of course you shouldn't be marrying him. I'm not saying you have to take him with all of his baggage, but if you don't want to, just... don't. It doesn't mean he's not worthy of love, just that you don't think you can give him what he needs, and that's okay.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
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Tw/Cw: Swearing
Reblog bait is the worst kind of shit there is.
Oh, you have OCD? Screw you.
Oh, you have anxiety? Screw you.
Oh, you have autism? Screw you.
Oh, you think if you don't reblog this it actually means you're a horrible person? Screw you.
If you're gonna make a post that's "reblog if..." Then at least add a tw, cw, anything.
I'm fed up with getting so anxious when I see these posts, I just saw a "Reblog if you support gay marriage, scroll if you're homophobic", and I didn't reblog.
Does that make me, a nonbinary lesbian, homophobic? No. It fucking doesn't.
Making posts like that are trash.
All you want is attention, followers and reblogs, because YOU are the one that made the post, so you must be some kind of saint for not being homophobic/racist/etc.
No, you're not, you're an asshole that's triggering other people for fucking Tumblr notes.
Please, for the love of all things, don't make reblog bait, or at least add a warning before hand so people can scroll without feeling like they did something wrong, and if you reblog stuff like that, YOU should also add a tw or cw in the hashtags.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
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caslutz · 4 months
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i don’t talk about jamie and ted enough and that’s like a crime. so here’s what i’m thinking. jamie is dyslexic, we all know that, but i’m not sure that jamie actually knew that, which makes sense. i imagine he had minimal schooling, getting recruited to the academy so young and it’s not like anyone there cared, so jamie just grew up thinking he was stupid for not being able to read and write as well as others. that’s why, when ted gives him the book he gets almost offended and throws it in the trash, acting like it’s stupid, but really is just scared someone might find out he struggles with books, so he plays it off. ted of course, notices this but doesn’t have time to address it before jamie is sent back to man city. when jamie comes back, ted does finally talk to jamie about it and because jamie feels more comfortable around ted at this point, he tells him about his struggles and the real reason he tossed that book. ted assures him that is not his fault, and does not make him stupid, which honestly is news to jamie. so instead of putting jamie down like every other adult authority figure has, ted offers to help jamie instead. jamie is a bit hesitant but accepts, so ted holds sessions in his office with his whiteboard and eventually gets beard in on it too so that they can help jamie read and comprehend what he’s reading!! eventually i feel like this could even turn into a team thing, isaac joining in and anyone else who wants to help/learn. oh my gosh they’re such a family <3
(maybe some royjamie with this hc later idk)
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newtthetranswriter · 4 months
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This is a call out post
To the people who judge and criticize those of us who read or write fan fiction: If you don't like it don't read it. simple as that. I'm tired of scrolling through a tag looking for something to read and seeing a post telling me I'm gross or disgusting for reading about a fictional character, simply because the character is 17. I have a few points I'd like to make.
They are a fictional, ie. they do not actually exist
if you want to get real technical about stuff, if you look at canon birthdays a lot of these characters you have a problem, if they were real would be over the age of 20
What people say and do online is not a direct reflection of real life, just because I write a story about stabbing some one doesn't mean i'm going to do it, same for if I write a story about going on a date with a fictional character who is 16. These are fictional characters they are meant to be perfect versions of real things, if you have ever spoken to a real 16 year old you would know they are typically trash
Most of the characters I like who are under 18, I liked long before i turned 18. I was watching MHA and Haikyuu in high school, I was the same age as characters. And I will admit I'm not as interested in the younger characters any more, but sometimes that's all there is
If people are being respect full why worry. If someone is writing a fluff piece about cuddling after a hard day at school leave them alone, or if they state that it takes place in the future leave them alone. Stop policing peoples work
LASTLY THEY ARE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS THEY DO NOT ACTUALLY EXIST.
Yes there are weirdos out there who make it weird or who actually have bad intentions, but if it's not actively causing someone else harm leave people alone. People just want to enjoy their interests and connect with the community, stop shitting on people for their interests. Any way thanks for coming to my ted talk, Remember to Hydrate or Diedrate.
p.s i also know i will likely get some colorfull messages over this but i don't care, i'm tired of feeling like trash for reading about a comfort character.
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ksbbb · 7 months
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PSA:
OK so I feel that this needs to be said again and I am not talking to everyone. Please don’t think I’m talking to my followers or most of my mutuals on here, but I do think it’s something that should be addressed again. If you don’t like a story, you are under no obligation to read it, and you can easily click out of it or completely find a way to never read my stories again.
Just because you don’t like Theo, doesn’t mean you should be coming onto a story and trashing him as a character and in doing so, trash me as a writer in my story because of some issues you have with the way Jeff Davis wrote a character.
We all write stories for free, and in our own personal time for fun. I understand everyone’s story is not for every single individual, and I think it’s important that we understand to be a productive member of society and not trash people on the website because you feel some type of way about a character.
I will not be taking my story scenting down. Thank you.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk .
I am a Theo Stan until the day I die 
Here’s the story in case other people would rather read it and don’t worry I did delete those comments.
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perfectlyfrosty · 3 months
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Found this funny thing today and it got me thinking about hijack, of course xD
So! Little (probably not) post abt my thoughts on this :3c
I don’t think either of them would be too worried about that, least of all jack rip. Maybe he wonders what he would’ve looked like if he’d actually gotten the chance to grow older. It really depends on the au i guess
Although the otnwas-infested part of my brain wants to say it’s hiccup, i’m more inclined to say jack 😭 though that also depends slightly on the au, bc if jack’s a spirit he wouldn’t actually get cold. Then again, he seems like the kind of person who would hog a blanket even if he didn’t need it.
Jack. Definitely Jack. Not gonna elaborate
Probably both, but if i had to pick one i’d say hiccup. I think he’s slightly more sensitive than most people. I love that for him
Both. They trash-talk each other lovingly <3
Hiccup, the dork. I can see jack doing it too. Theyre both dorks, your honour.
Jack, no questions asked.
I still haven’t decided how i hc their cooking ability, but i have full faith in both of their abilities to set a kitchen on fire.
Jack 😔
Hiccup
I think jack would be low key afraid of them (again, depends on the au), but hiccup seems more like the kind of person who would catch it with his hands and put it outside without batting an eyelid.
Definitely hiccup. I can see jack being a night person, but he’s definitely not a morning person.
HICCUP. Or both of them, at the same time, because they’re stupid like that
Thanks for coming to my ted talk 💙💚 conclusion: they’re dorks and i love them.
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wasabidottie · 9 months
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Brothers Best Friend (Jschlatt)
prologue part one part two
A/n: this is my little attempt at something with multiple parts, lets see how it goes :)
High school was a maze of expectations, teenage dramas, and fleeting friendships. Amidst the chaos, one thing remained constant: the enduring friendship between Ted and Jschlatt. The two seniors had been inseparable since middle school, forging a bond that was as strong as it was tumultuous.
Ted, with his boyish charm and effortless charisma, was the star of the baseball team. He excelled at the sport, his name celebrated across the school as a home-run hitter. Schlatt, on the other hand, was the tough guy with a sharp wit and a penchant for trouble. He may not have been the star player, but his reputation as a wildcard kept everyone on their toes.
And then there was [Y/N], Ted's younger sister, a junior who had managed to navigate high school with a blend of grace and determination. She was the quiet observer, the one who saw through the chaos and captured its essence with her camera lens.
It was a sunny afternoon, the baseball diamond bathed in golden light, as [Y/N] found herself perched on the bleachers, camera in hand. Ted had roped her into documenting the team's latest game, a task she took on with grace, despite her mild protests. She watched as the team practiced their swings, focusing her lens on the players, each one hoping for their moment of glory.
Schlatt was unmistakable, standing in the batter's box with a cocky grin on his face, his bat resting on his shoulder. He exuded confidence, and it was clear why. His every swing sent the ball soaring through the air, a testament to his skill. The crowd erupted into cheers, and Schlatt couldn't have looked more pleased with himself.
But as the game progressed, Schlatt's cockiness began to grate on [Y/N]. He was loud, boisterous, and had an uncanny ability to turn every play into a spectacle. She watched as he taunted the opposing team, his trash talk relentless. Schlatt had always been a bit of an ass, and today was no exception.
As she continued to capture the game through her lens, [Y/N] couldn't help but feel irritated by Schlatt's antics. Ted had often warned her about his best friend's unpredictable nature, but seeing it firsthand was an entirely different experience. She sighed, adjusting the focus on her camera.
The game went on, the tension on the field rising with each inning. It was a close match, and Schlatt's determination to win was palpable. Yet, despite his bravado, he couldn't deny the skill of the opposing pitcher. Frustration mounted, and Schlatt's temper flared.
In a moment of sheer anger, he swung wildly at a pitch, missing it completely. A collective groan from the crowd and a shake of his head were all he offered in response. [Y/N] captured the moment, the disappointment etched across his face.
As the innings progressed, [Y/N] found herself focusing her lens more and more on Schlatt, the unpredictability of his emotions drawing her in. Behind the bravado and the bluster, there was something raw, something human that intrigued her.
It was then, in the midst of the game, that something unexpected happened. Schlatt caught her eye from the field, their gazes locking for a brief, charged moment. He looked almost vulnerable, a stark contrast to the tough exterior he usually projected.
A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips before he turned back to the game. And in that fleeting instant, as [Y/N] captured the photograph, she couldn't help but wonder what lay beneath the surface of Jschlatt, the unpredictable and seemingly inscrutable senior.
With the innings ticking away and the game's outcome uncertain, [Y/N] realized that, just maybe, Schlatt was more than the sum of his brashness. And as the sun dipped lower on the horizon, casting a warm, golden hue over the baseball diamond, she couldn't help but think that there might be more to discover about the enigmatic senior.
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justarandombrit · 1 month
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I did the thing again. If you missed the livestream but want to know what happened, I wrote down some notes again. (Spoiler warning, obviously, as I will mention who won the death match)
. The Nightmare Time theme is so fucking good
. Xander murdered Grace last death match and won
. James and Matt like wrestling (not each other - the sport)
. BOTTLE IMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!
. WORKIN BOYS GETS RELEASED ON YOUTUBE AT 425,000
. Lmao the backing music is Jane's A Car
. We are the Lords In Black
. HARMONY AND BARRY!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HARMONY SO MUCH
. Ted and Hidgens are a duo lmaoooooo
. Melissa and w o m a n
. Mariah really loved w o m a n
. CCRP set up a water filtration system that pissed people off
. USE IT OR LOSE IT
. Harmony and Barry are just so annoying that Paul and Emma want to fight them
. Paul is the first to die
. Coffee makes Barry stronger
. Jon is the only one who thought Paulkins would win
. Rip Harmony :(
. Paul throws spare change at Harmony and Barry, summoning the Homeless Man, who wins the fight for them
. Bill and Alice get an easybake oven stolen from them by Sherman
. Love Vs Crazy
. Frank and Bill get mistaken for eachother mid-fight
. Sherman is vicious
. Frank wants Sherman to die
. Alice eats Sherman's soul and becomes a little kid again
. Ruth has a crush on Hidgens
. Ted and Hidgens have a dead body???????
. The dead body is a Frankenstein amalgamation of all the Workin Boys
. Frankenruth?????????
. RICHIE HAS THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON HIS SIDE
. Ted and Hidgens win with help from the Workin Boy
. “w o m a n is here!”
“I'm fucking here, bitches”
. Shapiro + Bailey are looking for Roman
. Dog…
. Oh no
. Roman is the dog.
. Melissa and w o m a n die
. MISS HOLLOWEEN!!!!!!!
. Bottle Imps was supposed to be between Forever and Always and Time Bastard
. Bill meets the founder of CCRP
. CHARLES IS IN IT
. CHARLES FOUNDED CCRP
. HARVARD LAW SCHOOL COMMUNITY ORGANISING PRICK?!?!?!?!?
. HOWIE?!?!?!?!?!?
. Bill's been at CCRP 13 years
. Coven’s Communication Research and Power
. Charles wants… ALL the money
. If it's actually Billted oh my god…
. Jane didn't die, but their dog did so she divorced him
. THEY'VE COVERED THE PROTESTS LIVE AT THE HATCHETFIELD KENNEL
. THE PROBLEMATIC PUPPY BIT SOLOMON LAUTER
. DONNA WANTS THE DOG TO DIE
. THE DOG IS IN THE CAR
. THE DOG CAR RUNS OVER DAN AND DONNA
. GOT MY PAW ON THE GAS
. Everyone is cheating on each other
. Ethan used to bully Pete
. Pete and Steph don't tip
. Lex flips out
. Lex suddenly develops a gluten intolerance????
. Jason and Kyle save Steph and Pete
. Max breaks into Camp Idontwannabang, Grace reads him Bible stories, they're about to kiss, then Boy Jerry and Girl Jeri burst in to kill them
. Grace is so Jesus loving that Lumberaxe kills the Jerries
. MISS HOLLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN
. Excorcism???
. “Christ’s in hell with your mother”
Riley
. Miss Holloway has a witch hat!!!!!
. Evil mask??
. Riley's in hell smh
. “You basic bitch”
. MISS HOLLOWAY THROWS HERSELF INTO A WOOD CHIPPER
. Joey is Ted again
. YELLOW JACKET
. Alice and Bill get pissed about Paulkins trash talking Mamma Mia
. Joey: “This is the future the libs want”
. General MacNamara drops in from a helicopter and shoots Bill and Alice in the head
. James will murder Paul and Emma himself if they survive again
. Ted accidentally confesses to murdering Ruth and Richie
. Joey: “Here's the thing, ACAB”
. Thrash murders Shapiro for being a cop lmaooooooo
. Sam’s a dick to Tim at Pizza Pete’s
. Hannah straight up murders Charlotte and Sam
. I have to go to bed :( (Stopped right before Holyghost v Lautity)
. I'm baaaa-aaaaaack! It's the next day, I have pancakes, and I'm just realising I accidentally wrote Lautity instead of Lautski… I just love them too much
. I haven't checked Tumblr cause I don't want to be spoiled for who wins
. OH SHIT WORKIN BOYS IS ON YOUTUBE
. I'm back on the livestream, I'll check that out later
. They're at Perky's Buds, Grace has dragged Max there for a protest, Steph dragged Pete there for weed
. Grace wants Steph to go to heaven
. Five minutes for A THOUSAND DOLLARS?!?!?!?
. THEY DID IT IN ONE MINUTE
. Joey: “You horny little fucks”
. Max just murders Steph and Pete
. Max wouldn't want to hit a girl, Ziggs comes out, fails to land a single shot on them, but attracts the nighthawks which peck out Steph and Pete’s eyes
. Nicole Rodriguez is so fucking talented damnnnnnnnn, also I love Cool As I Think I Am (Reprise)
. This song will always destroy me emotionally :(
. Why is Joey doing a British accent lmaoooo
. This isn't the next scene, but is after it chronologically
. BRENDA!!!!!!!!!!
. BRENDA WORKS AT MISS RETRO'S
. If only it was a real werewolf… Wayward Guide, anyone?
. “Shit-eating grin” is my favourite Americanism. It's so funny I love it
. I kinda love Tucker
. More skidoos???
. Kyle's in college?????????????? Damn
. Even Stacy's in college
. Miss Holloway: “Cause the 80’s were bitchin’ ”
. Oh nooooo :(
. Miss Holloway: “The intranet”
. Oh god
. Oh shit
. Oh fuck
. Even though I knew this was going to happen I'm still devastated
. Oh god :((((((((
. God we need NMT3
. Joey: “Is this a bad time to announce Curt and Kim are getting divorced?”
. VIRGINITY ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
. Tedgens are stealing from CCRP, Paulkins are about to go on a date, they find them, and Hidgens goes all murder-crazy
. Corey: “Some of us are wrong and many of us are right”
. Joey: “Jon, Ted is gooning all over this office”
. Jon: “Great job everybody, all the food is gonna be poisoned next week”
. Goddamnit I just got spoiled for it :(
. Tedgens manage to find the Bastard's Box and trap Paul and Emma in it
. Hidgens hears Workin Boys coming from the box, but Ted stops him from touching it
. Tom and Becky want to buy the Waylon Place, and find Grace and Max burying Pete and Steph
. Tom coaches the Hatchetfield Nighthawks??????????
. Gen Z Vs Millennials
. Someone pulled $800 from the Kickstarter :(
. Will arrived literally as soon as Max died
. Grace and Max are ghosts now
. Meg Lloyd is also insanely talented
. Will loves Tom and Becky
. Sauce Saturday
. RUN AWAY WITH MEEEEEEE
. They're in the Starlight theatre, Wilbur is there for some reason
. “He was driving the car that killed your dog”
. NOOOOOOO JENNY
. LAUREN!!!!!
. Wilbur just straight up cheats so Tedgens win
. OHHHHHHH TED VS HIDGENS
. Ted always dies though :/
. A girl Miss Holloway saved has died
. MISS HOLLOWAY IS RENEGOTIATING HER DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
. Lore….
. Miss Holloway chops off her toes?????
. AND DIPS THEM IN CHOCOLATE?????????
. AN OLD POP STAR THE WORLD’S FORGOTTEN
. That's what that tune is called?
. OH MY GOD THE LORDS
. I NEED TO DRAW THIS
. Why do the Lords eat toes
. Blinky has a mouth???????
. Nibbly lmao
. Mariah: “Lauren, you're muted, baby”
Lauren (muted): “FUCK”
. Blinky, my love
. This is so fanfiction coded I love it
. Tinky likes Miss Holloway????? Duke really was right about everyone being in love with her
. I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY
. Lmao Tinky
. Double calculators, and an abacus????
. Blinky (covering his ears): That's a bad word!
. BLINKY HAS EARS??????
. HER NAME
. BE A PALLY WAL
. OH MY GOD MISS HOLLOWAY
. Ted wins!!!
. THEY'RE GONNA DO DND
. Well.
. Nightmare Time Cover!!!!!!!! Needy Beast, my love
. Oh god that was amazing
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edwardbabygirlteach · 9 months
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Some thoughts on Izzy and why I’m sad people hate him so much without any consideration to his character history and the theme of the show.
Like don’t get me wrong, I understand the Izzy we have seen so far is…rough to say the least.
But here's the thing. We know that in season 2 we're going to get a lot of good character development from him, and I'm very excited about this.
“Izzy goes on a remarkable journey this season” says O'Neill. "He understands what love is and whom he's in love with."
“it's been quite demanding to be playing a man enraged by unrequited love, who's basically a hopeless romantic,"
Izzy is clearly struggling with some internalized issues. Internalized homophobia probably being one of them.
He's struggling with the fact he's devoted everything he has every day to Blackbeard. He doesn't understand why Ed is suddenly this open and emotionally available person for Stede, he doesn't know why stede gets that side of Ed and he never has.
Even Ivan points it out when he says “This is the most open and available I've ever seen him"
Im not saying Izzy's actions so far in the show are to be ignored or excused by any means but I think Izzy is dealing with emotions he was never taught how to deal with, how to recognize or even made to feel like he was allowed to feel them. I think we can kind of assume Izzy was raised to be a"man's man" and not to be "soft”
Even David Jenkins has said himself “a lot of what were taught about being a man is wrong"
What we're going to be seeing in season 2 is Izzy realizing this. Just as we've seen Ed and Stede processing through something similar in season 1 though maybe not as extreme. They were both raised by shit fathers who made it a point to tell them that being soft or gentle is a bad thing. That enjoying the gentler things in life is Un masculine. Like Stede's love for picking flowers, Or Ed's love for fine fabrics.
This is clearly something that real people struggle with in the real world everyday. What it means to be a Man, to be masculine.
I guess all in all what I'm trying to say is that yeah Izzy has been a shitty person for the most part so far, but he's dealing with a lot and trying to process through it. Like a lot of real people do on a day to day basis.
This show is about breaking the mold. It's about grabbing toxic masculinity and ripping it apart and throwing it in the trash.
It's sad to me so many people are quick to just toss Izzy aside like a one dimensional character who doesn't have his own trauma and pain. I think we’ve all made mistakes in life, things we wish we had known better than to do or say but just didn’t know any better of at the time. We should all be allowed to grow and learn and become better versions of ourselves.
Anyways, Thanks for coming to my izzy hands character development Ted Talk. I can’t say when I first watched the show that I thought I’d ever be an izzy fan but the more I dig into his character and the more I see fandom interpretations of him the more he grows on me.
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seleneprince · 4 months
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Hear me out
With the growing popularity of transmigration webtoons, I assume we've all read those ones about a random girl or fan reincarnating in the villainess' body and changing the original plot completely, and often finding out the villainess wasn't so bad and the MC was the real enemy all along.
I'm obsessed with that trope and I don't care how repetitive or predictable it gets sometimes, it fuels me. It gives me life. And since I recently started to re-read The Remarried Empress on webtoon (i'm following I Abdicate my Title as Empress now and the nostalgia hit me), I had an idea I can't stop thinking about. Well, two ideas:
A fierce fan of The Remarried Empress dying in an accident or falling into a coma, I don't care, and reincarnating in Rasha's body, right when's she found by Emperor Sovieshu on the trap. She's a BIG supporter of Navier and hates Sovieshu with passion, blaming him for everything. Her opinion on Rasha is the same as the average fans...until she experiences the girl's trauma and hardships herself, and realizes that there's more depth in the unfamous webtoon villainess than she thought. Despite her new identity and knowing most of the plot, she cannot bring herself to stay away from Navier and show her adoration for the Empress, acting like a fangirl whenever she sees her or hears about her. She helps push all the strings to guarantee Navier and Heinrey's love story to shail, because even though she wants her close, she wants Navier to have the happy life she deserves.
Or the original Rashta going back to the past after her death and, feeling terrible for what she did, vows to not commit the same mistakes again and decides to do her best to help Navier from the distance whenever the Emperor fucks up. She doesn't want to be empress, just have a cozy and secure life away from slavery, so she's resolved to make Navier stay and if she has to act as a marital therapist for them so be it. She knows her position is secured with her baby, so it's not like she needs the Emperor's affection on her, just his promise to look after her (plus she resents him a lot now, so the less she interacts with him, the better).
These ideas were born out of my new found realization that Rashta, while she works amazing as a pitiful villain, her character was deeply misunderstood and forever condemned to be mocked and attacked by everyone, both in the story and the fandom. She wasn't a saint, sure. She did bad things out of selfishness and purposedly went against Navier to steal her place, and I was satisfied with the ending she got. But most of the flaws that made her so annoying for the fans are actually reasonable within her character's past. Rashta was sold as a slave by her own father when she was a child, placed in a house with masters that abused her and treated her like trash simply for existing (Lotteshu even gave her a dead baby to let her believe it was the one she lost, how the fuck no one talks more about it?). Then, she escapes and the Emperor saves her, showering her in affection and riches and promising her a fairytale love story. She think she's safe, that she can finally be happy, but Lotteshu re appears and begins to blackmail her, and then turns out the Emperor doesn't love her but wants to the heir she can give him. Ergi is her only friend in court apparently, but he's manipulating her from the beginning and eventually betrays her. And Rashta wasn't purposedly rude to Navier at first, the girl was illiterate and knew nothing about etiquette, but she admired Navier and wanted to be close to her, but Navier assumed she was mocking her instead. And Sovieshy obviously never helped this situation.
I want to see a story where Rashta's traumatic past is properly explored instead of showing it as side information, and she gets the development she should have had. And what better way than with a reincarnation story? At least in my opinion
Anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk lmao
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