#“i've just been killed by this stupid little fucker”

[jouxlskaard]

pov you've just been brutally pipe murdered by a middle-aged twink

#elias tma #tma #elias bouchard #jonah magnus #tma spoilers #magnus archives #the magnus pod #the magnus archives #magnus archive fanart #tma fanart #tma fandom #i wonder what jurgen was thinking when this happened #“god dammit are you kidding me” #“i've just been killed by this stupid little fucker” #“the first time i leave the tunnel in 15 years and i'm immediately murdered” #“this is why i didn't leave” #“dammit jon”

[norrisleclercf1]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMybT6fU/

I just need to share this w someone! The fingers + the backwards cap 🫠🫠 fuckin hell

A/N: I've been hoarding this, sorry, and sorry it's not long

Lando was dead, he might be your best friend but you were going to kill the fucker. Having been friends with him so long you thought there'd be a limit to what you two wouldn't say to each other, yet he just proved you wrong.

He had sent you a tiktok of Carlos being drenched in champagne, you remember you where there laughing with Sainz Sr. as Carlos couldn't even run away. His fingers wiping away the champagne but still blind he motions to Fred to give the bottle back. But what had you beet red and filled with anger was Lando's text with the video.

"Muscle memory huh?" With a stupid little winking face, you wanted to slap the fuck out of him, because a) he wasn't wrong, and b) he was a little shit would needed to get the shit kicked out of him sometimes.

You couldn't stop watching the way Carlos moves his fingers, you knew that rhythm he was doing, it was the one he used when you were begging and crying for his cock, on the verge of coming and he wanted just one orgasm out of you before he slide into you and made you stupid.

"What are you watching so intently?" You yelp and close your fun quickly, Carlos wrapped in a towel, and you really hated that he couldn't fuck you in this moment. "Nothing, Lando sent me a stupid video again." Carlos just hums and leans over, wincing slightly as he was sore. "That's fine, kitten, but you sure you don't want to test out that muscle memory?" Your eyes grow wide as you turn an stare at your smirking boyfriend before looking down at his fingers. "Fuck the reservations," Tossing your phone away Carlos laughs as you pull at his towel watching it drop and you groan, you can't believe you'll have to thank Lando for that video.

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 fandom #formula one #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x y/n #f1 smut #f1 blurb #f1 oneshot #carlos sainz junior #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz x reader #f1 scenario #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz 55 #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz smut #cs55 #cs55 x reader #cs55 imagine #cs55 fic #cs55 smut

[melminli]

Devil's Advocate

pairing: hazbin hotel x fem. reader

summery - after you died, you didn't really find it surprising to end up in hell. though, what you did find quite amusing was that your life down here sucked just a bit less than the one before.

word count: 2k

contains: cursing, strong language, sinner reader, violence, religious themes (obviously), sexual themes, demon horniness

part II

"What a fucking nightmare." You muttered to yourself in annoyance as you got out of the car that had driven you up the hill. You slammed the door behind you and didn't bother to look back as the car drove away, your eyes glued to the huge hotel in front of you. You looked grimly at the building for a short while until you finally decided to walk to the door. "Someone's going to get fucked if he's not in this shitty hotel, I swear to God."

Your hand was about to knock on the door when, to your surprise, it was suddenly yanked open. You hadn't even had a chance to touch the wood with your knuckles. "A new guest! Hello! So nice to meet you. My name is Charlie!" Shouted an enthusiastic voice with stars in her eyes as she excitedly grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. She didn't even give you a chance to give her a reaction. "Vaggie! Look! Look, I told you I had a good feeling today! And that good feeling is actually here!"

Her girlfriend looked at your figure with puckered eyes. Vaggie looked at your most prominent features one by one. Cat-like, four eyes, and a fifties style...oh no. "Charlie? I think that - " she began, slightly worried, but didn't get to finish her sentence.

"I'm just here for a visit." You quickly announced before things could get any more difficult and saw the princess's happy mood drop at your words as she let go of your hand at the same time. "I apologize if I gave the wrong impression but you don't happen to have a pussy working around here?" You asked with interest, looking around the room as your eyes landed on a bar. Well, this couldn't have been made easier for you. Your eyes narrowed slightly as you only spotted a spider-like figure on one of the chairs.

"Well, only if ya talking about our good-looking Husky." He said with a big grin on his face and pointed behind him. You could then hear a deep voice swearing. Still, he didn't give himself away, and you sighed at his childish behavior as you stepped closer to the bar. "There's no reason for you to hide anymore. You've already been exposed." You said as you narrowed your eyes at the empty space until he finally appeared. "Fuck you, Angel..." he grunted out.

"Why don't ya do it for me ~ "

You all ignored his flirting. Charlie, out of her own curiosity, decided to move closer to the scene as well. After all, it could still be the case that you would eventually decide to give the hotel a shot. She didn't want to completely rule out this possibility, even if it was a small one. "Oh, so you're here to see Husker?" She asked you, finally seeing the resemblance between the two of you. Well, you both had a cat-like appearance, after all. "Oh! Are you two siblings?"

You laughed. "No. At this point, I'm even doubting whether I'm even friends with this fucker." You answered her when your mood turned sour and you hit the table angrily with both your fists. "Where the hell have you been! I've been looking all over the place to find your ass!" You yelled out, causing the others to flinch slightly at your tone.

"...look, it's a bit difficult to explain. I didn't think about telling you where I am because - " he tried to explain himself when you interrupted him.

You waved your right hand in the air, uninterested. "Yeah, I don't give a damn where you are. I'm not your mother." You said and then crossed your arms. "What I do care about is when your stupid little friend kills my employees to steal my fucking money." You said as your eyes darkened. "And you know how I feel about my money."

Oh, fuck me.

Before the conversation between you could continue, you were interrupted by another voice that wasn't afraid to intrude on the conversation. "Oh my, do we have a problem here?" He asked with a broad smile as he appeared out of nowhere.

Charlie looked at the scene a little nervously. Why am I starting to get a bad feeling? She was briefly interrupted by her worries as Vaggie leaned closer to her so she could whisper something to her ear. "I couldn't tell you before, but that woman over there is the person who owns the banks in hell. Like, all of them. I only heard of her until now." She murmured to her. "As you can guess, she's somewhat of a big deal...they call her She-Devil."

Well, I suppose that's why. The Princess of Hell looked between your irritated figure and Alastor while sweating a little. Two powerful demons in one room couldn't be a good sign, not in this hotel. She tried to calm down and stay positive. Maybe nothing will happen? Maybe they will become friends.

You blinked a few times before looking up and down at the unknown figure to take in his appearance. Then you turned to Husker and pointed your thumb at the guy. "Who the hell is this smiley freak. Do you know him?" You asked, annoyed, and even though you lowered your volume a little, everyone in the room could still hear you clearly enough. Well, it wasn't like you were trying to be subtle or anything, you didn't really care if they heard. "Hey Knuckles, is that your hair or your ears? I can't quite make it out." You laughed as your tail swung comfortably behind you.

Oh no. Everyone in the room looked a little worried at your figure, not really daring to say a word, let alone laugh along.

Alastor's smile looked a little strained as he turned his head robotically to the side. "Allow me to introduce myself. The name is Alastor. Pleasure to meet you, sweetheart. Quite the pleasure." He said, holding his hand out in front of him, and you shook it without a care in the world. Now that you had heard his name, it sounded familiar. "Alastor...aren't you that Radio Devil?"

His eye twitched slightly. "Radio Demon, to be exact."

Oh.

A slight smile graced your face. "Didn't know you were back in town. Does that mean you're coming back to the radio business? 'Cause I hate that podcast of the 2D face and could use some good entertainment." You asked him and saw Husker give you an annoyed look. He's trying to tell me something, but what is it...

You thought for a few seconds and looked back at Alastor until you finally realized it. You looked back and forth between the two of them, and Husker raised an eyebrow at you as if to say, you finally got it?

Oh.That Alastor.

After your comment, the Radio Demon seemed to be in a better mood. "Oh, thank you, my dear. You got quite a good taste there, which is getting harder and harder to find these days." He replied with his familiar smile. "But to get back to your question, I guess I have to say...I'm not called the Radio Demon for nothing."

Of course not. "Good." You say and turn back to the bartender. "Now, where were we? Oh right, I was about to fuck you up." You announced and were about to climb over the bar to let your fists do the talking, only to be stopped by the many arms of the spider next to you. "Whoa, calm down Kitty Kat! As much as I'd love to see the pussy fight between ya two, why don't we hear the man out first, huh?"

You groaned. These people wouldn't let you do your job. "Because we're in hell? And nobody gives a shit?" You rub your forehead, exhausted. "But whatever, talk then."

Husker's head slowly looked up from behind the counter. "...remember how I said that Larry is a very good friend of mine who you can trust completely and that you can therefore give him a job in your company without worrying?" He said carefully before continuing. "Yeah, I lied about that. I lost to him in a game a long time ago, and I owed him a favor."

You looked around the room. "Did you hear that? Are you happy now? I just wanted to punch him in the face and call him stupid names to get it out of my system, but now I'm not only angry but also disappointed...he doesn't even bother to apologize." You said and sat down. You interrupted him before he could say a word. "Just make me a drink since it's the only thing you're good at."

This could have ended worse. Charlie took a step towards you so she could stand next to you. "Well, now that you're here, I can tell you about the concept of our hotel! I'm sure you won't want to leave once you've heard it." She announced cheerfully, unable to read the room at all. She was also just pretty desperate to get more people into this hotel and had a hard time dealing with the fact that the only one who she got in wanted to leave again.

Her girlfriend was about to tell her that maybe this was a bad time to bring it up, but surprisingly, you didn't mind talking about it. "Oh, you don't need to. I've already heard a few things." You began giving the girl hope as you didn't have that demeaning undertone that other people usually had. "You're planning to rehabilitate sinners here, no?"

"Yes! Do you want to give it a shot?"

You shook your head. "Not really." You replied, unknowingly shattering her dreams. Your hand reached for your drink as you turned to the spider next to you. "And the last time I checked, they don't let gay people in there, darling."

Angel Dust rolled his eyes. "Well, ain't that good fucking news. Does that mean I can stop being clean? 'Cause I don't wanna to stop sucking dick." He said and acted dramatically. Tears came up and were about to run down his cheeks when a single beam of light shone on him as he leaned on a chair with his chest. "Ya guys know I love sucking dick."

Panicked, Charlie waved her hands aggressively in the air. "No, of course not! There are gay people in heaven!" She shouted out until she realized she wasn't so sure about that. She needed to do more research on the rules up there. She turned to her girlfriend, looking to her for support. "Isn't that right, Vaggie? There are gay people in heaven?"

She assured everyone in the room. "Of course, there are gay people in heaven."

"Okay, good," Charlie pronounced as she let out a relieved breath with one hand on her chest. She then happily turned back to Angel Dust. "So, you can continue to stay clean then, Angel."

He had a bit of a disappointed look on his face while he sluggishly held his arm in the air to celebrate. "Yay, woo..."

#x female y/n #x female reader #x reader #x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin imagine #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel imagine #vivziepop #hazbin hotel husk #fanfiction #funny shit #alastor the radio demon #alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction

[writingoddess1125]

The Canary

Me and stupid shit again

Support on Ko-Fi, I'm poor

"Ah, 50k in debt for a linguistic degree you didnt get while working at a grocery store- Can't get any better then that!"

You had said that morning- Your sarcasm rolling off your tongue like a goddammit curse as you headed off to work.

And yet here you are now...

Your ass tied up on the floor of the grocery store while men armed to the teeth walked around talking- you felt oddly fortunate however, these guys were clearly grunts at the bottom of the food chain in terms of 'bad guys' hell they were speaking a language you had studied so you could pick up what they were saying as well.

You had been in the meat section when the explosion went off- The cow statue having saved your ass from being turned into a tube of ground beef, but now you were a hostage..

Greaattt.

"Hamil told us we needed the hostages, 6 of them exactly for this while they set up the explosives down the block.. we just gotta wait for the signal" The man said in the different language. You taking mental note of this-

You spot a little girl and her mother among your fellow hostages, your heart breaking at rhe sight as you saw the man approach her. Her mother clearly trying to undo her child's rope and get her to slip away down the aisle. However pausing when one of the men approached her and the girl.

"Hamil said Makarov gave us the clear so we could do as we pleased as we wait right?" The man said, one of his peers rolling his eyes in disgust and calling him dirty.

"Whatever we got some time to kill" He grumbled, beginning to undo his belt as he grabbed the screaming mother who was trying to shield her daughter away from the possible assault. You sitting up fully at this point and your brain going on autopilot.

"Woah Woah Woah Man! Got that weak of game you have to rape some Mom now?!" You yelled, the man pausing his actions. Tossing the sobbing women away from him and marching to you angrily fixing his belt-

"What did you say?" He hissed angrily flashing his gun at you. "I'll fuck your mother how about that-"

He said angrily, You took note of all the men now staring at you and not at the other hostages- Keeping them distracted... maybe enough for the little girl to slip away?

"I've already fucked your mom asshole- I have her saved as slip and slide on my phone" You say with a crooked grin- A few of the men snickering at your joke, Oh Fuck Yeah!

"What did you say!? Do you not see the situation you're in now?" He growled.

"Aww can't take a joke big guy? Come one gotta lighten it up somehow-" You see in your peripherals the girl slipping away as you chattered.

"Got a big mouth huh? Why don't we put it to use?" He chimed, you really wanting to turn this guy away from molesting you or anyone else.

"Listen it would be a waste of space- like if you throw a hotdog in a cave" You chimed, smiling as he looked ready to rip you apart but instead punched you across the face. OWWW!!

"Is it BDSM tuesday?.. Eh not doing it for me though big guy maybe rub your nipples and give me a wink?" You say, His friend who had called his dirty giving a hearty laugh at this.

The man glared down at you and spit in your face, clearly wanting to kill you in some way but needed you and the others for their plan. You pretended to taste it like a fine wine, Looking him in the eye.

"Oh?~ Cock flavored spit?- New Age?" You chimed making the man face red as a tomato in rage as his mate to the left laughed.

"Was this a little self yoga or did Unicorn overthrew give a hand?"

He smacked you with his pistol making you cry out-

Fuck that hurt!!

You defiently had a cracked bone somewhere in your face and the fresh taste of blood in your mouth didn't exactly help those feelings.

"Say something smart now!" He yelled angrily.

"A pistol whip!? What is this 1995? Give your balls a tug you tit fucker! Or are they so shriveled up you can't grab them?" You say with a smile, the man grabbing your collar and pressing the gun to your temple.

"I no longer care what Hamil wants! I'm killing this little bastard!" He screamed, you wincing at his breath.

"You can't! I don't want Makarov on my ass!" His peer yelled ready to pry him off you.

"Just put a sock in their mouth or something if they are bitching that much!"

"Well if you're gonna kill me so close a breath mint would be nice? You do realize Tiktacs aren't just a penis size right?" You chuckle nervously, you eyes catching a shadow moving behind the men now all staring at you. Their backs turned to the shadows.

"You know what- I'll shut up after one last joke? Eh?" You say nervously, The man yous been tormenting cocking his gun- you see a man silently stalk out, a skull mask covering his face as 4 others moved in perfect formation behind him.

"No more fucking jokes!" He yells, rage in his eyes.

"Okay- But I tried" You say cheerfully before closing your eyes. In seconds gunfire went off around you and quick screams surrounded you.

"Clear!" You hear sounded as you crack open your eye to take a peak.

"Holy fuck-" You sigh out and give a nervous laugh. Looking at the dead men now littering the ground as the soilders file into the area quickly-

The guy in the skullmask- The one who you spotted getting into position behind the guys comes to you and undoes the rope around your wrist in record time as the other men do the same to your fellow hostages.

"A medic will be here soon to check over your injuries" He said in a surprisingly deep voice- accident not lost on your either. He reached a hand down to either help you up or pick you up to extract you from the area.

You grab the man's vest quickly to stop him before he could, He stares at you hard in confusion.

"Listen, Those guys said that there were bombs down the block and were waiting for a signal. They have others- I can understand them and thwy said they followed someone name Hamil who talks to Makarov... I-Im a linguists and um.. can understand them" You say quickly, The masked man narrows his eyes at this and speaks into a radio on his side.

"We have info that more bombs are down the block- Scout the area and evacuate further" he said as he went back to helping you up. A quick thanks leaving your lips as you pulled off your work hoodie and passed it to the mother to cover her up.

The men escorting you out of the grocery store.

"Got to say, never seen a Canary get the best of those guys-" The Mohawk guy said with a smirk on his face, supporting a old man who clearly had a broken foot.

"Gotta use my gifts somehow- and Canary?" You shot back,

"Always fuckin' churpin" He said with a smile. A laugh now coming from you as you nod. Once outside the medics quickly swarmed all of you and prepared to take you all to the hospital.

You spot the masked guy again- Giving him a head nod. "Thank you Mr. Spooky!" You call out rather loudly- earning a amused glare from the man who rolled his eyes.

"....Your quips- Were... quite amusing.." He said calmly, You looking at the hardened man with a smile on your busted face- The others in his little boy band also cracking some smirks as they walked off finishing their jobs- which you assumed was down the block.

You give a bow of your head in a mildly dramatic flare. Wanting a shot and a nap at this point as the

"Glad my show went well"

Bonus!

- The little girl got out and went to the police that were waiting outside- explaining what you were doing and immediately getting checked over by medica

- TK141 had actually gotten to your location a little earlier then when you saw. However Soap had to stop everyone since he almost fell out at the cock flavored spit take.

- The whole team had been laughing on the inside or holding back laughter the whole time they heard you chirping at the men holding you hostage.

- The Nickname 'Mr. Spooky' will follow poor Ghost for the next few months-

#x reader #call of duty thoughts #call of duty ww2 #call of duty mw3 #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #ghost cod #cod price #cod ghost #soap cod #cod mwii #cod x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley

[slasher-male-wife]

Slashers seeing their s/o kill for the first time

So @crawling-fingers talked about murder dates with the slashers and I just kinda had to go along with it because I've been processing a lot of trauma lately and god damn it I deserve a little (fictional) murder, as a treat.

Includes: Brahms Heelshire, Michael Myers, Vincent Sinclair, Baby Firefly

Warnings: Murder, violence, strong language, reader kinda has a break down in this, mentions of attempted sexual assault and sexual harassment

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms is shocked to say the least. Your abusive ex had showed up uninvited and like before, started to manipulate and try to get you to leave with him.

But when he hit you and told you that you're still the same dumb bitch you were before, that's when you broke. You smashed a vase on his head and took a shard of the broken porcelain and began to stab him with it over and over.

Brahms quickly rushed out of the walls and saw you crying and screaming as blood sprayed onto you.

"Who's the dumb bitch now huh?" You screamed dropping the shard of porcelain, "Try hitting me now you stupid shit! Come on hit me now mother fucker! I dare you bitch!"

You looked like a mess. You had blood all over you, your hair was messy and dishevled, your pupils were dialated and your chest was rising and falling quickly.

Brahms knew this was bad but god damn you looked so good like this. He wouldn't waste time either. He takes off his mask and quickly picks you up, pressing his lips against yours.

He knew you just killed a man. But you looked too damn good not to kiss in that moment.

Michael Myers

Michael was returning from a night of killing when he saw your kitchen light was still on. Odd for this time of night. He enters in the back door and hears your heavy breathing and can see blood leaking from the kitchen.

When he walks in he finds you on top of a man with a kitchen knife in his chest. You look to Michael, covered in blood and your mouth wide open, "He tried to hurt me," You say, " He broke in and kept talking about how I was helping you kill people. He tried to stab me but I got him first."

Michael had to admit. You looked stunning in the low light of the kitchen covered in blood. He watched on as you pulled the knife from the body and took it over to the sink. You started to wash it off as Michael came up behind you, ignoring the body.

He watches as you wash off your face and hands, red water running down the sink. He starts to pet your hair. It's matted with blood and very messy but he continues to run a hand over your hair, petting you.

"Michael, I'm gonna need you to take the knife and get rid of the body while I clean this up ok?" You ask. Michael stops petting your hair and turns his attention to the body.

He picks it up along with the knife and carry's it back outside. But he can't stop thinking about you. And how much he loved seeing you like that. He's going to try and get you to kill again. He knows that for sure.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent heard you scream and then a gunshot go off at the house. A victim had escaped so he thought the worst as he rushed to get to the house. But when he opened the door he found you holding a gun and the victim on the ground.

Some blood had sprayed onto you but you're just standing there, almost catatonic. He could see tears falling on your cheeks. He quickly walks over to you and pulls you into a hug, facing away from the body.

You begin to sob into his sweater as he strokes your back, "She tried to kill me," You say muffled, "I thought I was gonna die. Please don't let go Vincent."

He nods as he looks down at the body. You shot her in the neck. She died quickly and quietly. He knows you're in distress and that you're scared. But he's glad you got your first kill out of the way.

He knew that at some point you were going to have to help with killing people and you finally might just do that.

But first, he needs to comfort you and get you out of shock. He can deal with the body later, now he needs to make sure you're ok.

Baby Firefly

You're out in town with Baby and RJ at a bar. Baby is dancing and RJ is somewhere else. Baby heard you yelling at someone and she made her way back to the bar where she saw a man trying to touch you.

"Back off! I have a girlfriend asshole!"

"Maybe she'd like to join us." He remarks. Baby makes quick work out of getting him in RJ's truck. You knew about the hand gun in his glove compartment and you were just waiting to get far enough from town to shoot him.

The man made dirty remarks the entire time. Talking about how how you two are all the the disgusting things he'd do to you two. Once he got out of the truck you made quick work of shooting him in both of his legs.

Baby was stunned but then she just started to laugh. She cheered you on as you dragged the man inside, yelling at him about how you were gonna have fun with him this time.

Baby laughed and cheered as you beat in the mans head with a hammer. "You're just asking for me to do this you know!" You shout, using his words against him, "You look so hot like this honey! Maybe you should loosen up and smile more!"

Even after he died you kept beating in his head until he was unrecognizable. By now Otis was downstairs and he had seen a good portion of you beating on the pervert.

As you got up, covered in blood Baby wrapped you into a hug and jumped up and down. "That was so badass Y/N! I wanna see you do it again sometime! How about I help you too!"

Baby felt ecstatic about you killing for the first time. She wanted to see you do it over and over again. She really loved seeing the smile on your face after you gave the creep what was coming to him.

#brahms heelshire #brahms x reader #brahms the boy #brahms my beloved #michael myers #michael myers x y/n #michael myers x you #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x you #vincent sinclair x y/n #baby firefly #baby firefly x reader #baby firefly x y/n #slasher x y/n #slasher x reader #slasher fanfiction

[kiyans-corner]

Danny Phantom conspiracy theory hour! Or prompt time, whatever.

ok but what if his rogues gallery, all his usuals... What if that's actually his family? hear me out!

ok so there's a ThingTM I've seen floating around where baby ghosts get dibs-ed by mature ghosts to keep them safe while their core settles or whatever, right? But ghost bonding time = fighting. So they just absolutely wrecked his shit to say hi and stake claim... gently, with no irreparable damage to him. A lil literal love tap for the newly dead, newly formed.

Except.

The kid isn't a regular ghost. He still breathes, sometimes. If you catch him in his meatsuit, he's warm too, and either way he still has actual factual BLOOD in him! HUMAN blood! And if you hit him as hard as you would another full ghost that shit FALLS OUT OF HIM, and it just. it actually needs replaced! no one is sure exactly how squishy their Ghost Boy is, but they're pretty damn sure that it wouldn't be a matter of "just" collecting and guarding his core if he got his ass handed to him badly enough he needed it.

And without a steady exposure to ectoplasm, without the support of at least one AdultTM like you'd have in the zone... He might not even need to get busted down like that to destabilize.

That's a hell of a weakness. That's a hell of a way to figure out why the kid just... doesn't go to the Zone. They don't think he even knows he needs to, that he needs contact with AdultsTM to help him settle right, and even with all his freaky cryptid bullshit, where he'll be normal one minute, and then out of the corner of your eye his skin will flush, his eyes go flat and dull- an eerie blue, icy and disconcerting. Fangs shorten to little useless things, just for a second, just long enough to see. He's still a baby.

And his fucking human parents want to kill him a second time over, the exact same way they'd do if the fuckers caught one of them. To their SON.

To the kid they just collectively called dibs on.

There isn't enough ectoplasm in Amity Park to sustain a literal baby while his core finishes out. AdultsTM have a driving need to protect baby ghosts, just by default (not that anyone minds, in the Infinite Realms it's not exactly common to run into an unaccompanied minor. They usually get picked up within the first few days when they're exploring, if they weren't born in the zone somewhere populated in the first place). Outside of the zone, it's going to take all of them to help keep his core stable... And they have to do it without their Ghost Boy catching on, so his stupid human progenitors- those are NOT fucking parents, what in the fuck, absolutely THE FUCK not, not if the scum suckers would kill the Ghost Boy if they found out he'd been claimed by ~ectoplasmic scum~ and maybe actually hung out with them like this was supposed to work.

The best way to get close enough for some literal core support, close enough to fucking smother everything around him in a halfway decent amount of ectoplasm? Gonna have to fight him. All the time. Badly. As many wide shots, as much of their own ectoplasm soaking into the stone and soil and sublimating the air around him as possible for him to feed off of. Their own attacks fizzling in the air after making contact with anything, bonus points if their Ghost Boy gets a lung full of the newly unimprinted ectoplasm.

They aren't growing in power as Danny grows. They're just using more of their power as he grows. Just enough that he can still "win" until he's actually on a level playing field. Baby raising basics, their controlled combat was also indirectly teaching their boy to fight better!

And if another side effect of scattering their own ectosignatures on every available surface was keeping everyone weaker than their combined strengths that would go for their boy too hard, accidentally or on purpose, out of Amity Park if they told them to gtfo, even with a permanent portal right there? It didn't matter that Amity Park was in the human realm, or that at least one of them had to go for a play date every other day at minimum instead of less frequent check ins, that they spent so much time in the wrong realm now.

It was a parent's job to help the youngest ones establish and hold their lair until they can manage it on their own too, after all.

#Box Ghost is absolutely gunning for coolest uncle #he's losing! but he's playing the long game lmao #Danny Phantom

[ashleyfanfic]

Jonerys prompt please

29) just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

+

49) I do not have an answer for you

I've gone over and over this one in my head and even written it out twice. I can only come up with angsty things. I don't like writing angst most of the time. Only with JW. So, let's see what we get.

Not betaed. We die like Eddie Munson.

Jonerys fic

*~*

Jon watched her at the feast, laughing with the Dothraki leader. Her hand rested on his forearm and he turned away, hating the ache that sat in his chest. He did this to himself, caused his own bloody heart break, all because of a secret that was better left buried.

He felt a hand slap on his shoulder and a horn of something pressed into his hand. He looked up at Tormund who had probably had more to drink than the entire country. "What's got you looking so fucking sad, Little Crow? We stand in a feast of victory."

He shook his head. "Nothing. You know me. Not known for smilin'."

"True. You're a sour fucker. But not since that queen came around and started fucking you regularly. What's the matter? She stop?"

He heaved a sigh. "I stopped."

Tormund stared at him for a moment then stood and swiped a hand over his tangled hair. "You mean she's available?" Jon yanked on his heavy furs and the man laughed and resumed his seat beside him. "She's not available."

"You just said..."

"I know what I said."

Tormund sighed. "What's the problem. You're both young, beautiful, unmarried rulers. Isn't that the usual thing your lot does? Unite your kingdoms and all that?"

"Usually."

"I fail to see the problem."

Jon was quiet, knowing if there was one person he could tell that wouldn't bat an eye at the revelation, it was probably Tormund. "An unexpected problem has presented itself."

"She is married?"

"No."

"She tried to kill you?"

"No," he answered as he rubbed a hand over his face.

"Then tell me, Jon Snow, why you're being so fucking stupid."

Jon leaned closer to him. "I found out that she's my aunt."

Tormund looked at Dany and then back at Jon. "And?"

"And... we're related."

"Did you know that when you started fucking her?"

"No. I didn't find out until a few days ago."

Tormund nodded. "I see. For a man who died and was brought back to life, you really take the long way around to get somewhere."

Jon drank down his own drink and grimaced in Tormund's face. "What does that mean?"

"Do you love her?"

"Yes," he answered without question.

"Do you want to lay with her?"

"Yes, but--"

Tormund cut him off with a raised hand. "Can you live with the idea that she might someday marry someone that isn't you? That might not love her, but only use her for her title?"

"No."

"What about you? Your people would require you to marry a woman eventually. Produce an heir." Jon shook his head. "Let me give you a piece of advice, Jon Snow. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should put distance between the two of you. A woman like her... I don't know that there's actually been a woman like her through out all of history and time. And she loves you, you stupid fucker."

Jon looked up to find Dany staring at him, and she raised her glass to him. He raised his back and bowed his head. "It's only a matter of time before the lords start circling around her, each one wanting to use her for something. Her dragons, her arms, her title. None of them seeing her the way you do. Loving her the way you do. What you feel for her is very rare and you should relish it. So many of us are unfortunate that we never find it or we do and lose it. So she's your... family. From what I've heard from Arya, that's sort of what Targaryens do, isn't it?"

He took Tormund's drink from him and finished all of it. "You're right."

"I know. So get up and go claim your queen."

Jon stood on wobbly legs and grimaced at the taste in his mouth. He held his goblet up for a boy passing with wine, had it filled, and drank all of it in one swallow. He stumbled around his chair but righted himself and took slow steps towards her. She dismissed those standing near her and soon they were standing alone.

"How drunk is Tormund?"

He glanced back at his ginger friend who was now in a drinking game with Tyrion. "I don't have an answer for you," he replied and turned back to her. Her smile was bright, even if it didn't reach her eyes. "Dany, I want--"

"I plan to have my armies march south starting tomorrow morning," she interrupted. "It's in everyone's best interest, I feel, if my people and I are no longer in your country."

"So soon?"

"There are people who aren't happy about our presence, and to be honest, I don't like it here."

He sat on the table in front of her and cautiously took her hand. "There's still things you haven't seen."

She nodded. "I agree. Many things you promised to show me. But I'll not pressure you, Jon Snow. I've loved and lost and lived through it. I'm fairly certain I could do it again, if I must."

"What if you didn't have to?" he said softly.

She shook her head, confusion marrying her pretty face. "I don't understand you. You've avoided me for days and when you finally do acknowledge my presence you shake everything I've ever known to its very core. And now, I'm supposed to be happy that you've made up your mind?"

He stood. "Come with me."

She sighed. "Jon, I'm tired. I'm tired of games played with leaders and I'm tired of getting my expectations up only to then be disappointed."

He squeezed her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. "Come with me," he prodded.

She reluctantly allowed him to lead her out of the room and through the lit corridors out to the courtyard. He pushed open the gates and they trudged through the sloshy snow together toward the heart tree. She looked up at the tree that appeared to be crying, along the white bark and up to the red leaves.

"The Night King died here," he said softly. "Bran was just here," he said, facing her, "and Arya came in from this end. She had made it past all of his guard and actually got the drop on him, from what Bran said."

She folded her hands in front of her and stared at him. He could feel her eyes on his skin as well as the eyes of countless others, always watching. "I've heard all of this, Jon. We were briefed this very morning, in fact."

He took a deep breath and lowered his head. "I never expected to survive the fight. I thought my destiny was to kill the Night King and that was the reason I was here. Once my purpose was finished, that would be it. I'd go back to wherever Melisandre pulled me from. To be very honest, Your Grace, Dany, I never allowed myself to look past that."

Dany's frown deepened. "So, am I to understand that you fully believed you'd die and yet you never thought to share this information with me, the person you claim to love who very clearly loves you?"

Jon shifted his weight to his other foot and lowered his head. "Yes. And now, I can only ask your forgiveness for my foolishness."

"What foolishness is that? That we became involved or that you're ending the involvement now that the world is no longer in peril."

"Neither," he answered quickly. "Dany, I never said I wanted to die. I only said that's what I thought would happen. It kept me from hoping beyond the battle for anything more."

She walked past him to the tree and he watched her placed her gloved hand over the bark and look up at the leaves. "Jon Snow, you're the most insufferable man," she said with a shake of her head. She then turned her frustration on him. "What is this? Why bring me out here? Are you telling me that you'd like to explore other options now that you're alive? That you want to stay in this Gods forsaken wasteland for the rest of your life with your sister, excuse me, cousin, constantly doubting every decision you make?" He shook his head and she stepped forward. "I've never taken you for a coward."

His jaw clenched and his hands tightened into fists at his side. But she continued as if he hadn't had any reaction to her words. "You came into my throne room and demanded my help. You defiantly refused to bend the knee. You dared to pet a dragon when neither of us knew what would happen." She huffed out a breath. "You took my hand and offered me your heart. You openly declared your allegiance to me when it would have been far easier to lie. You knocked on my door, Jon Snow. You rode a dragon into battle. But in front of me, faced with the possibility of a beautiful future together, you're cowering away?"

"I'm not cowering away."

"You could have fooled me. I ask you again. What do you want?"

"You," he said softly and her shoulders slumped. "I'm torn up about it, Dany. Bran and Sam telling me all they have... I still want you. I can't think about you with someone else because it makes me want to destroy the world," he said as he cupped her face in his hands. "I don't give a damn about the Iron Throne, but I'll fight until my dying breath to see you upon it."

She grasped his wrists and shook her head. "You have to live, Jon. You have to." She whispered gently against his lips. "You're the one who told me that the witch wasn't a good source for information. You were right," she guided his hand down to her belly and he looked up at her in surprise. "I had gone to the crypts to find you and tell you. But I found you so lost and sad that I didn't get the chance. And then the dead were here. But we've both lived and I believe we're both here to bring peace to this world. Both of us together. And our children after us."

He kissed her, his lips pressed against hers desperately. His arms looped around her waist and he lifted her to swing her in a circle. "You're magic, Dany."

She laughed and swatted at him. "Put me down before you make me sick." He placed her back on her feet and kissed her again. "Stay with me tonight," he whispered to her. "Let me... celebrate you."

Dany brushed her finger over the cut on his cheek. "I suppose I can allow that. I'll count it as your apology for being stupid."

He laughed and caught her around the waist. "No. Don't. Let my apology be separate."

She furrowed her brow. "Why?"

"Any reason to get on my knees for my queen."

"What if I told you that you didn't need a reason? I'd accept anytime you'd like to kneel for me."

He smiled and kissed her again. "Then I shall start in my chambers, Your Grace. Tonight. If you'll have me."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his chest. "I'll have you, Jon Snow. Until the end of my days."

#jonerys #jon x dany #jon x daenerys #fan fic asks #fanfic asks #ashleyfanfic

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for throwing all my ex's shit into the ocean and cutting off my first mate's toes?

So basically what happened is I've been living on a ship plundering and thieving and dominating the seven seas for a long time now and my first mate has sort of been sailing on my cottails ever since I hired him on.

I was getting bored and lazy and sure maybe that was annoying for him but whatever it's my fuckin' life.

Anyway there was this new guy making waves in our line of work and I was just curious what he was like. Guy wasn't doin' it like the rest, maybe it could reignite my love for the life.

First mate fuckin' dragged his feet every step of the way. Bitched and moaned because I wanted him to do his fuckin' job and get this new guy's attention so I might recruit him and take his ship. You know, the ush.

Well, as always, I had to do the work myself because this man is fucking incapable of following orders apparently. Saved his whole life you know. And after that we were really hitting it off, so I thought hey - this could he something. But my first mate couldn't fucking handle it and wanted me to abandon this awesome, kind, thoughtful guy for what? treasure? I'm literally fucking rich, man.

So he betrayed me!! Went behind my beck and sent the fucking pigs after me. They nearly killed my new friend, right in front of me! I didn't even get to see his dick yet >:(

So I was reasonably pissed right and I decked him and went into custody with this new guy. Cuz really, we've just been so happy and getting along and he's really genuine and kind to me. Like really really. He's my friend, the only one I've ever had.

And it was actually kind of nice. Domestic even, I never thought I'd enjoy that. And while we were biding our time in the brig, I asked if he'd run away with me. And can you believe it? He said yes! And we even kissed! It was incredible. I felt amazing. How could a fancy fucker like him pick a guy like me?

But when the time came to run... he never showed. I had to escape the brig alone, on a shity little row boat. and rise all the way back to his stupid ship where my stupid first mate was being mutineed by his stupid fucking crew. And weirdly they were also nice to me. And it was okay for awhile.

And I started to even feel better. To grow and heal. Like maybe it wasn't Stede that made me happy, but the freedom to be myself authentically.

But of course. That shithead first mate can't leave well enough alone. Gotta throw a fucking fit about everything I do and don't do to appeal to him. He fucking cornered me, alright?? In my own room. Threatened to kill me if I didn't stop being so gay. I mean it was fucking blatant! What else was I supposed to do?

So! Yeah. I cut off that shitheads fucking toe. And I fed it to him. Because no one fucking threatens me, ever. And then I made that shitlicking crew throw out all that assholes stuff and took his ship, left the useless ones tied up, and tossed the talkative fucker who thought he could make me feel better into the ocean.

And thats pretty much it.

Anyway. AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[starlightshadowsworld]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

Sure.

They aren't in any particular order, just girls and than the guys but they are my top 10 favs.

.

.

Sunset Shimmer (My little Pony equestria girls)

I love every one of the girls from EG but my favourite is most definitely Sunset.

I love seeing her grow, becoming friends with the others and finding herself.

Sunset's always trying to help others, making peace with her past and her risking everything in forgotten friendship made me cry.

Girl deserves so much.

Her resolve, her empathy for others and just a good ol villian to bestie arc is why I love her.

.

.

Stella (Winx club)

We don't speak of fate Stella.

Stella makes her mark from the first episode, she's the mysterious bubbly princess from another world.

I love her, so much.

She's loving and caring, damn near sacrificing herself in the Omega dimension just to keep her friends warm.

Stella is undoubtedly one of the best parts of winx club, helping Bloom get through Alfea and her relationship with all the Winx and Brandon.

Girls also got a temper and don't take bs which I just admired as a kid and I still do.

That and I always wanted to learn to sew and make clothing things, watching her make them.

.

.

Weiss Schnee (RWBY)

The ice Queen herself, absolutely love her. Her development is everything.

I love watching her interact witb her team, both snarky and loving. She's been a bridge to keep her team, her friends from falling apart.

I love Weiss because she was willing to grow and change. She was always silently rebelling and truly realised what was important to her.

That and her weapon and semblance is just amazing.

Seeing her make amends, grow and learn and accept those around her. Being the best team mate she can be, just yess.

And IQ just hammers that point home.

.

.

Mereoleona Vermillion (Black Clover)

I love all the woman from Black Clover but Mereoleona is my favourite.

She's an absolute terrifying badass of a woman who said nah you can't teach me anything I don't know.

She's not the Lioness for no reason.

Woman's just an inspirational badass who takes no shit and shows everyone time and time again to not underestimate her.

She's funny, she's blunt and I just love seeing fight.

.

.

Princess Rosalina (Mario, Super Mario)

Don't have much to say about Rosalina, she was my favourite of the princesses growing up and I find comfort in her to this day.

.

.

Judai/Jaden Yuki (Yugioh GX)

My favourite of the protags. I fucking love Judai's story, that he's the most idiotic, loving son of a bitch you'll ever meet.

He's hilarious in the dub and I just shake my head fondly at the stuff that he says.

His arc hits close to home, no I've never killed anyone but I have been that depressed.

Watching him go from the lowest of low to finding happiness again is heartwarming and I was cheering him on the whole way.

.

.

Casey Jones (Teenage mutant ninja turtles, 2012)

This mother fucker, my favourite character from the show till this day. He was fun comic relief and just expanding on his story now is fun.

That and knowing he's so much more than comic relief, the speed Demon episode is forever my favourite.

That and watching him, this regular guy (as if you could ever call Casey Jones, regular) make his own gadgets and become family to the turtles is just so cool.

.

.

Jason Grace (Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus)

I have ranted at length about my love for Jason Grace.

He is so underused, underutilised and under appreciated.

Seeing him lose everything, trying to rebuild it and finding a home with the seven just gets to me.

He's the golden child who stopped shining and had to find himself, and I feel that.

I love watching him interact with the others (minus the whole stupid rivalry between him and Percy that makes no sense.)

I just love him, he's my boi.

.

.

Jason Todd/Red Hood (Batman, DC)

Jason to me hits the same as Judai.

He's the fun loving child that went through hell and walked a dark path alone.

I cheer him on, I want him to be happy.

I loved his crime boss era it was so badass and just the way he differs from batman.

His ideology of controlling crime is both interesting and compelling.

I just think he's cool.

.

.

Makoto Naegi (Danganronpa)

My bean.

My boi.

Deserved so much, I love him and his long hecking speeches about hope.

He went through hell itself and everyone turned on him and came out of it smiling, I respect him so much.

#Sorry this was long #Top 10 list #sunset shimmer #my little pony equestria girls #winx stella #Winx club #mereoleona vermillion #Black clover #rosalina mario #Weiss Schnee #Rwby #Jason todd #Red Hood #Batman #DC #casey jones 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #Jason Grace #heroes of olympus #makoto naegi #Danganronpa #Judai Yuki #Jaden Yuki #Yugioh gx

[trickstarbrave]

idk what is your opinion about this but i have such a love-hate relationship with vivec lmao like on one hand i hate his ass as a person, he's a dick and very selfish but on the other hand he is so interesting as a character i cant help but appreciate him in a way. first thing i did in morrowind when i saw him was murder him in a blind rage but then i did reload a save to still read all his dialogue lol also sorry for sending so many asks

i have a very similar relationship with vivec hence why the nerevarine in my fic killed him in a blind rage too after getting wraithguard. unfortunately he did not have the luxury of saving and reloading. he had to live with the consequences of his actions and all the "what ifs"

i find vivec fascinating and i love writing him and i also wanna slap his stupid bald head and i wanna take him to get a lobotomy at claires. i hate him so much and i want his gender. i genuinely cannot tell if i would love to have a conversation with him or bodyslam him immediately after he opens his mouth upon meeting him and that is a testament to the writing level of morrowind.

right now though he's alive in my fic the silly little fucker so i've been having so much fun. i love when he talks cryptically. i love when he is also extremely horny when doing so. i love when he waxes poetic about nerevar's soul and i love when nerevar turns his ass down. vivec loves nerevar so much it turns to envy and hate and then back to love again all in a vicious cycle. he wants to be nerevar so badly but he also wants him and also wants to be loved and accepted by him despite all of his flaws and he cannot have all of these at once no matter how many times he tries to rewrite reality and make it so. he has to hold nerevar up as a paragon of a true virtuous warrior who fell just a little short so that the dunmer people could get even a fraction of the understanding of how much vivec idolizes and adores nerevar to the point he had to kill him.

if i continue i feel like i'll start talking in circles just know i am slapping him against the wall and also getting "reach heaven by violence" tattooed on me

#vivec #morrowind #almsivi

[elijah-loyal]

Waiting 6 Years

(warning: long piece of writing i wrote for a grade. tw: suicide mention and sh. any commentary would honestly be greatly cherished, particularly because I've been holding this for so long)

Year one:

The boy wants to kill himself. He hates himself with such a fervor that it poisons his head, poisons him so thoroughly that he stood on roof's edge, waiting for Death to kiss his cheek and say "It's alright; you did your best and its okay that you can't bear it anymore. Your mother was right." But she passed him by, reminding him that he has a little brother downstairs, a little brother who he would break if he let Death take him.

He loves as best he can, and is not loved in return. He was twelve, freshly thirteen. His mother does not help. He told himself, I only have six more years.

Year two:

His mother hates him. She makes him wear bikinis and calls him worthless, burden, prude, stupid, bitch, fucker, asshole. He believes it. He is twelve-thirteen-fourteen when she starts doing this. His birthday passes and he cannot remember it. His brain is doing all it can just to hold on, just to live. It only remembers the really bad things, the screaming, the hate, the jerk of his arm. He starts throwing himself into walls. He holds the burning hot glue gun to his knuckles until the flesh blisters, covered in hard white glue and the smell of burning metal fills his nose. His father finds him on the floor once, laughing hollowly because his mind is not there. His father fears for him and cries, but says nothing.

Year three:

He's barely holding onto his grades, scrabbling for those A's that his mother screams into him. "Stupid," she calls him when he cannot keep those A's sometimes. He believes it. His mother leaves crescent-moon marks on his arm that he covers up with too-big sweaters from the school store (they hide his breasts). She tries this once on his brother; it is the only time he has screamed at her like that, and he cannot even remember what he said, or what she did to him after. He only remembers his brother's tears, the finger-shaped bruises dark on his white little arm.

Summer in North Carolina, a 27 hour plane ride there. Alone without an escape for two months. He picks at the skin on the inside stretch of his thumb until he strips the skin away, and it weeps yellow and clear fluids for three weeks before it starts to close. His lips are picked bloody. He is not pretty. They return home in July.

A boy he likes doesn't hear his "no's" and now he doesn't like being touched by almost anyone. His mother and the boy he liked ruined it for him. He doesn't know it yet, but he will crave touch for a long time without letting himself have it.

The girl he adores listens, and is the only one he allows to hold him gently, sweetly. She knows who he is. She is warmth and gentle night all at once. She is afraid; she stops hugging and holding him and his hands once people start whispering. His heart breaks for the first time since his mother started hating him. He does not blame her.

He leaves them and the desert behind; returns to America, land of the free. He doesn't remember it anymore.

Year four:

He finally gets sent to a therapist after they find out about the cutting. He's been cutting since the beginning of year three. He craves the pain, thinks he deserves it. Believes he deserves it. The therapist doesn't let him do that anymore; it results in nights spent silently screaming, curled in a ball and clutching himself as he fiercely ignores the scissors downstairs in the kitchen drawer. Eventually he will make it out of this, will remember November 22nd as the last day he ever hurt himself like that.

School is lonely; he is new again, and no one cares deeply enough to try for him. He cannot tell if he likes being alone anymore, but he thinks he is okay. He runs three seasons of track, just to not go home at night before his mother goes to bed. He ruins his hips like this, ruins them so badly that some days he cannot even walk without pain anymore. His family barely notices; he doesn't let them. The coach bars him from running tryouts the third season because he has been limping for two weeks; he sneaks in anyway and makes the cutoff time by two whole seconds. He doesn't run for three weeks after, showing up to cheer on his teammates. His hips will be ruined forever.

His lungs burn in the cold, and he doesn't have to see his mother for 12 hours a day.

His therapist tells him its okay to be a boy. He listens, and he stops hating himself for the first time that winter.

He learns to leave, to sneak out the front door on weeks where is father is away and it's three am. He looks at the stars, walks on the solidly frozen pond. An owl watches him. It's so so pretty.

That spring he gets his first binder. He cries with joy; the friend who got it to him took that forty dollars and helped him put it on. He smiles. His thighs and voice and hair hurt him still, but now his chest goes flat.

His cuts have scarred over.

Year five:

Summer. He rides his bike endlessly; anything to be out of the house. His mother doesn't ever believe he could be a boy. He hears her nasty comments when she thinks no one will tell her she is cruel. He works as a lifeguard and makes the pool company give him the men's swim trunks to wear over his swimsuit. He doesn't take his shirt off. His colleagues cannot tell what he is. He smiles.

A week before they move again he mashes his face into the road going 30 miles an hour on his bike; he swerved so he wouldn't hit the toddler running in front of him. He scars his face (it will fade) and it hurts, and he doesn't want it to. Pain is no longer pleasure. The doctor said if he had fallen slightly differently he would have lost his eye.

He moves; the desert is home again, and he craves it like the fish needs water. He makes friends. They don't care that he's not a normal boy. They call him by his proper name and say "they" for a while before they understand. One of them matches him; they give him their old binder later, and it fits him perfectly.

He falls in love with a beautiful boy who holds him and kisses him gently. His hands and body are so warm, so much warmer than his own frozen fingers. They don't talk. The beautiful boy gets bored and leaves him, and he takes three, four months to be okay. The beautiful boy's best friend likes him like that; he doesn't know if he can love the best friend good enough. He wants to.

The friends make his heart sing; they are all so so beautiful. The boy feels happy. The last time he was happy like this, he was twelve; now he is seventeen. He listens to Bauhaus and Fairuz in the morning. He scrambles hungrily to find college programs. He did not think he'd make it this far. He takes too many videos (he's afraid of forgetting. Memory is a monster).

His mother is strange; she no longer hates him. Or, he thinks she doesn't. She scares him still. He hides outside of their apartment on the balcony one night when she rages and screams at his father, hateful. The warm wind cradles him, and he can smell the desert on it. He curls into a ball and cries, wanting to text the beautiful boy for comfort. He does not; the beautiful boy has endured worse. His father finds him, looking tired, and says he's sorry. The boy knows it's not his father's fault. It's not his either. He hugs his brother. His brother knows who he is.

Year six:

The boy knows another era is ending. His friends will almost all graduate this year; the best friend will remain behind with him. Maybe he can love him sometime. He's been so awfully kind. The boy voraciously scrolls through college requirements. He wants to be an archaeologist and a historian, like he did when he was little. He will wear his father's beaten brown hat to digs and when they ask about it he'll say, "My father gave this to me when I was a kid. I love him."

He wants to tell his parents he's a boy; he's sickly afraid of them. They might not know who he is, not really. His auntie knows who he is, and says she'll be there for him. He wants so much, and has so little of it yet. He is so close to freedom, to cutting his hair and introducing himself by his proper name and being happy and free. But he's not there yet. Only one more year to go.

One of six, and he knows who he is.

#writing #author #mutuals thoughts? #i dont think i'll delete this but it took a lot out of me. #trans #transgender #love #poetry? #i hope so #writer

[izzy-b-hands]

Day Two: Fuckery Or Tavern

A nice, quiet date night at Spanish Jackie's, full of booze and... mostly just that, actually. And the three of them being very relaxed and silly.

Hint of Rizzy at the end, bc i couldn't help myself lol.

TW for drunkness/alcohol and emetophobia (they go a bit too hard and pay the price for it lol)

---

"What's that face for?" Stede chuckles. "Olu, are you worried about us?"

"You, yes," Olu scoffs. "With respect, the last time you went into Spanish Jackie's-"

"Things are different now! Ed said he wrote her ages ago that we'd be in the next time we got close to the Republic, and-"

"Right, you told us all about that, but that doesn't change the fact that if she has a chance to kill you, she will. Just because."

"Just because? Seems a poor reason to kill someone," Stede's nose wrinkles. "Well, then I will win her affections with this visit, and she'll never want to kill me again!"

Olu nods. "So, I told Izzy if shit goes down that we'll be ready to leave at a moment's notice. Everyone is on board with that, and they don't mind hanging close to the ship for it."

"You worry too much!" Stede pats his shoulder and gestures to his outfit. "Good? Piratey and sexy, yeah?"

"For a plain black shirt and tr-" Olu pauses. "That's Izzy's shirt. If you're wearing that, what is he-"

"We're done!" Ed makes his way out of the secret passageway, Izzy behind him. "Olu, good! Give us all a once-over before we head out for date night, make sure we look-"

"Sexy, yeah," Olu says. "Are you just going out with Izzy's vest as your top?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Ed motions to it. "Soft and comfy and worn in, and I get to show off a little. And Izzy-"

He moves aside and gently pushes Izzy forward. "As you can see, has borrowed from both of us."

The trousers are clearly Stede's (black silk and tight), the shirt one of Ed's (a black crop top), but everything else is still Izzy's, including the cravat and ring that hasn't been loosened even an inch.

"If I saw you guys in a tavern-" Olu starts, only to turn at the room door flying open.

"He'd fuck you all in a heartbeat," Jim finishes. "Come on, I need help convincing Buttons and the Swede not to host a knife catching contest."

"Did you offer to be in said contest?" Olu smiles.

"That's assistant first mate to crew confidentiality," Jim replies. "If you aren't gonna stop us, then Roach at least wants another pair of hands ready for stitching people up."

"We'll be fine," Olu says. "No one is going to be too horribly stabbed on my watch."

"My ear!" is the shout from outside that sends Olu and Jim hurrying off, and leaves the three of them to head ashore.

--

"Do you think Jim meant that?" Stede asks. "Not that I fancy Olu like that, would be inappropriate in the workplace-"

"He'd have to wait his turn anyway," Ed interrupts. "You look so good. Izzy's shirt, my extra trousers, which you should really wear more often-"

"They're so much work to get on! Otherwise, I might consider it," Stede sighs. "Oh no."

"Jackie," Izzy strides towards the door of the tavern. "You are not in quarantine. This lie might have worked on Jack, but that's only because he doesn't care where he drinks in the end."

Her head pops out as the door opens. "Would you shut up?! Ed and Stede will hear y-oh."

She slips all the way outside with a grimace. "Ed, Stede, hey! So, as you can see, y'all are gonna have to go elsewhere tonight-"

"Is this because of me and Jack?" Ed asks. "Because we were young, and stupid-"

"It was three years ago," Jackie interjects.

"I've learned a lot in those three years, and Jack is dead! We've all grown as people."

"If I let you in," Jackie sighs deeply. "And that is an if, you promise that fucker is under your control at all times. Or I'll cut off more than his nose."

Stede scoffs loudly. "Are you referring to me?"

"Sure as fuck ain't referring to Izzy," she says. "Worst he does is fall asleep after a few drinks."

"Come on," Izzy mutters.

"You do! It's okay, not a bad thing!"

"Is it just wine that does it? He claims it's just wine," Stede says.

"Fuck no, it's everything. Cute too, he lays his lil head down by his cup, gets all snuggly," Jackie giggles. "Shit is adorable."

"Adorable," Izzy grumbles. "Are we allowed in or not?"

"He needs the sleep, grumpy little fucker," Jackie opens the door and motions them in. "Hurry up before I change my mind."

They pile into a fairly empty tavern; the quarantine signs had been up long enough to keep most people away, apparently.

"Shots?" Ed asks.

"Already?" Izzy mutters, but he takes the offered tray of them to a table as soon as Jackie's latest barkeep hands it over.

"Can I ask what exactly happened with Jack here?" Stede murmurs as they settle into their seats at the corner table. "Or do I not want to know?"

"You've seen Jack drunk," Ed starts.

"Who hasn't," Izzy snorts under his breath.

"Iz!"

"He's right," Stede says. "But anyway."

"Anyway, he can get a bit wild, and he sort of got offended when no one would dance with him-"

"Important to know, there wasn't a band in for the night," Izzy interrupts. "There was nothing to dance to except his own version of shanties he barely remembered."

"You could have sang," Ed says. "He did ask you if you would."

"You sing?" Stede's eyes light up, and Izzy downs a shot.

"Yes. I'm not doing so here tonight, and that's that."

"So Jack got up and started dancing alone," Ed continues. "And when no one would join in he got... well..."

"He cost us the biggest sum of money I've ever spent in bribes to make something go away," Izzy scoffs. "Literally, everything we had on us and a few of the extra rings we wore that night. And I'm sure Jackie was still in the red with all the damage he did. Somehow didn't break the nose jar though."

"Because he thought it was haunted," Ed supplies before down a shot himself. "Why, I'll never know."

"Might be all the noses and the presumption that they're likely dead if they lost their nose," Stede notes. "Not that I think the soul resides in the nose or anything."

"Maybe it's in the liver," Ed giggles, and they burst out into rapidly softened laughter at Jackie's glare.

"See?" Stede grins. "She's worrying for nothing. We'll have a nice couple of hours here, drink until we're stumbling, then go back home."

--

"She's got the stomach for it," Stede's drink sloshes over the rim of his glass. "But Doug doesn't. He's very nice, don't get me wrong. Pretty eyes. But he could never be a pirate."

"Okay, okay, okay," Izzy says. "But I didn't think you could hack it either, and you've surprised me. Who could say that Doug couldn't do the same?"

"Who would watch the children then?" Stede protests. "They can't be alone yet, not old enough..."

"I could watch them," Ed says. "They sound like good kids."

"Alma once spent a day setting the drapes on fire to see what would happen," Stede sighs. "We only found out after the fifteenth one, because she couldn't put that one out on her own."

"Right, she's your kid, we know that already," Izzy chuckles.

"I don't like setting things on fire!"

"Dickfuck, yes you do!" Ed laughs. "You set stuff on fire all the time! The party alone, you set on fire so many guys!"

"Technically!" Stede protests. "Hm. There was the island after that. And the last four ships we raided... it's just so pretty! All the colours and the warmth of it..."

"Does the little one set fires yet?" Izzy asks.

"Louis? No, no...he..." Stede frowns. "He doesn't do much of anything yet. Follows his sister around and joins in whatever mischief she's doing. Though, it's been a bit now...he probably does have actual hobbies now, doesn't he?"

"I shouldn't have asked," Izzy pats Stede's back. "You're drunk enough to be weepy."

"You are," Stede sniffles. "Oh, they're better off without me. Good for them. Hopefully they won't burn the house down."

"A toast to not burning down houses!" Ed cheers, and the whole, now much more full, tavern raises glasses with them.

"I hope we didn't just jinx them," Stede mumbles.

"Doug may not be a pirate, but surely he can keep children from setting fires," Izzy sighs. "Are his eyes really that pretty?"

"It's insane," Ed interjects. "He's described them to me, and I'm mad I'll never look the man in the eyes myself, and I hate eye contact most of the time."

"Tell me," Izzy grins, and Stede slides onto his lap as he goes into his lecture about Doug's eyes.

--

"Jackie," Stede mumbles. "I love you."

"I should have told Olu to come with and drag you guys back," Jackie pats Stede's back, and gently but forcefully ends their hug. "Be safe getting back, alright? I won't be happy if I find out you dumbasses drowned trying to get to the ship."

"We're fine," Izzy says from his seat on the cobblestones. "Just a bit spinny, all of it."

"All of what?" Ed asks.

"Yeah."

"Oh god," Jackie sighs as she shuts the tavern door, and they struggle out into the night.

"I will sing for you sometime," Izzy nudges Stede as they huddle together. "If you'd like."

"I would love! Can I choose the song? Wait, no, I bet you have something you know by heart; I want to hear that!"

"Pretty man with a pretty voice," Ed coos. "Stede, pass this kiss to him, hm?"

He kisses Stede's cheek, and Stede dutifully kisses Izzy's in turn.

"What was Olu even worrying about," Stede says as he leans on Ed. "We're so good."

"So good," Ed agrees. "Can you move your feet before I vomit on them?"

He does, but only just in time.

"I told you both to eat more," Izzy sighs and switches sides, putting Ed in between himself and Stede as they help him along. "No one ever listens to me."

"Maybe if you sang it?" Ed suggests as he wipes off his mouth. "No singing tomorrow though. I can already feel the headache."

"No, tomorrow we nap and Roach will bring us water and something gentle to eat," Stede says happily. "I bet he's already got water waiting in our room."

Izzy nods. "Speaking of, we're at, the ladder is here."

He points upwards, only to gag. "Don't look up. Too much spinning, up."

"Do you maybe have vertigo?" Stede suggests as he gently pushes Ed up the ladder. "Oh, the water is deep here, hm? Nearly knocked me down. But really, based on everything I've heard, it's not anything wrong with you, with the spewing and all-"

As if on cue, Izzy vomits into the water.

"Right, that, like yes, you're drunk but also dizzy, so maybe-"

"Please get up the ladder before we drown, love," Izzy sighs.

"You've done it with that; you know I can't say no when you use pet names on me," Stede grins. "Can you help me?"

They manage to drag each other up, with Olu and Roach helping them the rest of the way with hands held out.

"You three had fun," Roach teases. "Who's gonna feel horrible tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Ed mumbles, leaning against the mast. "What time is it anyway?"

"Later than you said you'd be back by," Olu replies. "Hours later. The sun's due to be up soon, let's get you into your quarters before that happens."

"Like a vampire, but because of booze," Stede says, in the tone of someone giving an academic lecture.

"Sure," Roach motions them towards their quarters. "We're not carrying any of you, so-"

"But Izzy's dizzy," Stede says pathetically.

"I'm fine," Izzy stands from the deck, only to go pale and immediately flop back down.

"His crush on you is only gonna get worse," Ed grins as Roach helps Izzy up, letting him lean against him. "Remember Iz, Stede and I don't mind sharing now and again."

"Ignore him; he's drunk," Izzy protests, but his eyes linger on Roach's lips.

"So are you," Roach chuckles as they make their way finally into the room. "Bed, water, clean clothes for now, and tomorrow we can talk about who is sharing who with who as much as you want."

"Your eyes are even prettier than Doug's," Izzy mumbles softly.

"Is that a good thing?" Roach asks.

"It's a compliment you can't even imagine," Stede sighs and flops onto the bed. "Are there-"

"Buckets, yes," Olu interjects. "And water, and some hardtack, and extra blankets because we guessed Ed might want-"

"Blanket fort!" Ed stumbles forward, reaching for the nearest one. "We'll build and sleep in one tonight. Give me five minutes."

"I'll give you ten," Olu shakes his head. "We'll leave you three to it, and check on you in a bit, yeah?"

"Thank you for watching the ship and everyone, Olu," Stede replies. "You're the Doug of our ship: responsible and gorgeous."

"Thought you didn't fancy him like that?" Ed teases.

"I can appreciate and look without wanting to get in Jim's way," Stede huffs. "I don't think I can sit up again."

Olu bites back a giggle. "You're welcome, and thank you? I think. Please get some sleep."

His and Roach's footsteps trail out, the door gently shutting behind them.

"Ed, shall I help with the fort?" Izzy mutters, leaning against the wall where Roach left him.

But Ed is silent, snuggling on the floor with the blanket he'd grabbed, already lightly dozing.

"Stede," Izzy stumbles his way to the bed. "May I lay with you?"

"You can even be sick on me if you must," Stede pats his chest. "I'd rather you not, of course, but if you can't help it-"

They both grunt as Izzy drops onto the bed.

"Will Ed tell us when the fort is done?" Stede yawns.

Izzy nods, and snuggles up next to him. "Might be a while."

"Good things are worth being patient for. Like this."

"Like what?"

"Like us, the three of us, together," Stede continues. "And blanket forts."

Izzy nods again, already half asleep.

"Morning," Ed sighs, suddenly up again, only to crash down on Stede's free side. "I'll finish it in the morning."

"It's morning now," Stede mumbles, but he doesn't protest when Ed nuzzles against him, and there's no thought of wanting to move from where they are.

The eventual blanket fort, he decides in his last conscious moment, will be where they recover later, when they can stay awake long enough to stand.

#text post #steddyhandslongweekend #steddyhands #long post #they're fine they're just drunk enough to be Feeling It Mr. Krabs u know aksmdkfngk #aka i based it off my last horrific night of drinking where i wound up horribly sick in an Applebee's bathroom #and now I don't drink anymore aksndkakdnfkgn #anyway im tired post writing this and finishing my first shifts of work and now i made myself wish i had a blanket fort lmao

[kayhi808]

More Than Our Scars - Part 23

Wilson Fisk, the most feared Crime Lord in New York has had a lot on his plate with the recent murder of his Assistant, James Wesley. He's not happy to be interupted by a phone call from Wolf. "What do you want? Make it quick."

"I got something of yours that I think you might want back."

Growling, "I don't got time for your fucking games, Carson."

"Y/N. I found your little whore." There's silence on the other end of the phone. "I just want the files you have on me. I want out of this. I don't give a shit what you do with her. I just want out."

"Kill her. I don't give a fuck."

"Uh uh. I'll hand her over to the feds. I'll give her to Homeland. She wants a deal. She'll keep me out of it, but she'll turn on you."

Kingpin laughs, "She's many things, but stupid is not one of them."

"Really? She's managed to escape you & you haven't been able to find her in your own damn city. She doesn't think you're all that smart." Carson sighs, "Mr. Fisk, I want a clean break. I warned you about the raid. I've squashed any further investigations into your businesses. I destroyed evidence. I just want my files. Our transaction is complete."

"She's with you now? You got her?"

"I have her stashed away."

"1am. Bring her to the raided warehouse. You give me y/n and our business is done." Fisk disconnects the call. He sits at his desk contemplating the situation. After a few minutes, he hits the intercom, "Have the car brought around. Call Anvil & tell them I'm on my way. I want a meeting with Russo."

*****

After Carson leaves, Krista sneaks back in your room. She stares at you until you can't take it any more You know she's good at mind games after she messed with Bill, "What?!"

"Trying to figure out what he sees in you."

"He doesn't see anything in me. He habitually cheats on his wife. He's a loser."

Krista laughs, "Not Carson. Billy. Carson is like family. He served under my father while he was still in the service. He kept an eye out for me & my family after…"

"After your dad took you for a flying leap out a window?"

Krista's eyes widen in shock & then narrows. "How'd you find that out?" You give her a delicate shrug of your shoulder. "I can't wait until we hand you over to Fisk. Billy will be devastated, but we'll work through that in our sessions. I'll take care of him."

Your blood boils thinking of her anywhere near Billy. "You are fucking delusional if you think Bill will return to you. That will not happen. EVER." You can't believe she thinks she's going to win Bill over. You start laughing. "You have no idea what you've done. Bill? He will kill you. Bill is out there right this minute, hunting you down & he will KILL YOU." Shaking your head, "No matter what happens to me, you and Carson are as good as dead. I told people you called me. They'll tell Bill. Did you even tell Carson about Mark?" You see it dawn on her that she left a loose end. "Mark is an Anvil agent. Once he realized I'm gone, I guarantee you he assembled a team to come find me. Your head start is even shorter than you thought."

Krista leaves the room without saying anything else to you.

*****

Bill changed and returns to his Intel Unit. He left his loft destroyed, not having the energy to take care of it. "Tell me what you got! Where is she?" He walks over to Frank.

"Nothing yet. But we're still looking."

There's a knock on the door & Katie pops her head in, "Bill? Wilson Fisk is here asking for you. He wouldn't take no as an answer so I had to put him in the conference room."

"What?! That fucker is here right now?"

"Thanks Katie, we'll be right there," Frank places a hand Bill's shoulder which he shakes off.

"Hey!? Stop." Stands in front of Bill, blocking his way, "We don't know what he's here for."

"He's got Y/N!!" Billy storms to his office to retrieve his weapon.

"We don't know that! Wolf and Dumont took her." Frank follows him.

Billy straps on a holster and double checks his gun. Clips a knife to his belt and heads towards the conference room.

They walk down the corridor, Kingpin is visable through the glass walls. Bill enters with Frank following him. Fisk and his 2 guards stand feeling the air crackle with tension as Bill arrives. Bill & Frank can't read any threat coming from their visitors.

"Mr. Russo I appreciate you seeing me on such short notice," offering his hand in greeting. Bill warily takes it. Indicating the weapons, "Is all that necessary?"

"You interupted a tactical training exercise. What can I do for you?" Bill fold his arms across his chest leaning against the wall opposite Fisk.

"When we spoke previously, I said there were other sensitive jobs I was interested in you handling personally. A situation has cropped up and I would need your immediate assistance."

"How soon are we talking?"

"Tonight." Billy frowns and shakes his head. "I can make it worth your while and I'd be in your debt." Bill is silent. "I dont offer favors freely, Russo."

"What's the job?"

"There's a...package I need in my possession. There's to be a trade tonight and I need some assistance. Think of this as an audition. There could be a lot more work thrown Anvil's way."

"What's the package?"

"Let's say a lost sheep is being returned to the fold." Fisk smiles.

Frank notices the muscle in Billy's jaw tic and the shrug of his shoulder. "Who are we up against?"

"Agents from DHS. They are of no consequence to me." Fisk slides a file across the table. "The location and the specs." Billy and Frank look through the file. "Do we have a deal?"

Bill closes the file and gives it to Frank. "What times should we arrive?" He holds out his hand to Fisk & they shake.

"Smart move, kid. We'll see you at 11." Fisk and his men leave.

Bill turns to Frank, "whatever route they took, I want it swept for bugs." Frank gets on the phone and they head back to Bill's office where he throws himself into his chair.

"What do you want to do?"

"Have multiple groups of cleaners on standby. Whatever it costs." Runs his hands over his face. "It's too easy. What am I missing?"

"Fisk just sanctioned you to take out Wolf."

"In exchange for Y/N." Bill closes his eyes and shakes his head, "Kingpin invited me in & I'm taking out everyone there."

@idaofinfinity @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @e-dubbc11 @celestialams

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfic #billy russo imagine #billy russo x you #billy russo fanfiction

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Watching Con O'Neill Content Day 8- 3 Steps to Heaven

Warnings for: Full Body Nudity, drug use, murder, torture, BDSM Imagery, forced kiss

Online this is classified as a Comedy by Rotten Tomatoes, which feels fair. When you google it says Suspense/Dark Comedy.

Initially, based on the premise, I thought this movie was just Vengeance Is Mine but Con plays one of the fuckers semi-responsible. I was not entirely wrong.

Full Spoilers Below! If you don't want my reactions, skip to the dotted separations at the end for the rating!

I've separated out parts where Con is on screen, and identified if a part of the movie takes place in a flash back.

--------------------------------------------------------------

PRESNET

Why did she pull the gun out in elevator the first place. Like. Idk man, seems like you could have waited.

Love the step-by-step instructions for gun assembly

Why is she just spinning in circles with a gun in her hand? How does that help train for anything?

PRESENT- CON'S SECTION

CON! I hate the facial hair, oh how I hate it. Just in combination with the short hair. Makes him look way older. Like, it probably fits the character- But like, if he fluffed it, or did anything besides letting it stay so flat-

Is he on something? The character Angel, not con. Clearly, he's going for paranoid criminal, and I love it.

You know what, I can enjoy this. 'Worried?' "Now that you mention it, yeah!' Sweet. That was a nice car they took.

If Con's look is interesting the man with a knife and a beaver on his head is something extra.

Con in a wife beater getting pinned and interrogated is surely something.

Hey look, he's allowed to laugh! Crazy how that works.

Angel just letting himself get driven around by her is very funny

She makes him close his eyes, and gives him a bullet. Babe. What the fuck does that even mean. You can't use a gun properly.

"I've met someone" Babe, you don't know her name. This is just Con in most of his roles, but Jesus. Never really noticed it was a trope of his until now.

Wife Beater+ Tighty Whitie's+ Cig is also surely a thing

Cocaine + waving a gun around. A winning combo

Angel- this makes 3 Con characters doing stupid shit with guns...Please lower the accidental kill count

"Oh," Carefully raises one finger, schusses the air "Gotta be quicker" Why am I loving this so much? This man has clearly never killed another person.

WHY THE MOUTH AND FINGER SUCKING CLOSE UP. He's licking up the trace of drugs on the table, but why was this the choice.

Wife beater+ Tighty Whittie's+ Cig+ white ROBE is amazing

Don't get too close to the balcony now babe, I know you're excited, you'll be thrown if in no time.

Did he give her his address? Why is she here? He's trying to lay low? Does he just think he needs to get laid and surely this woman won't murder his ass?

Angel stealing my actual fit. Jean button-up + blue Jeans in 90s fashion. Bastard.

Angel, sadly you aren't one of the Con characters our lead will run away with.

AHHHHHH hahahhaha that pistol whip. His dramatic fall. This fall vs ep9 OFMD is honestly a tie. Dramatic and extra as fuck.

They're both just anxious little purse dogs shaking so hard. Why? Calm down babe, you are literally holding a gun, and he's tied down in a chair.

Babe, it's been two weeks since your guy died and he's being hunted down for money. He probably doesn't remember what he had for breakfast the previous day, let alone your man.

(In the flashback for this one point)THOSE EARRINGS ARE OBNOXIOUS

Oh, good. The Beaver hair guy is back.

This is where our guy dies!

To be fair if I walked in and my target was already tied up, I'd also be very happy.

I didn't think there would be this much panting and grunting, especially from Angel.

"He's very gentle" Carefully pinches and lifts his chin. Oh, my stars. I'm clutching at my pearls. *pulls out notepad for my WIP*

I think we all deserve to be hoisted up into a bridal carry, and lovingly twirled around.

"Yeah he's lovely-" Exactly, Angel. Stop ruining the mood and get with the groove!

This is too good. Just throwing him around like a ragdoll! The dancing is a bit much, but they're having fun with it.

The two evil guys definitely explored each other's bodies. That's a proud boyfriend look if I've ever seen one.

She could be a real bud and just shoot one of them. They don't know where she is, and then Angel has an opening to attack...or not.

"you-puff" Shame on you Con, those aren't usually your lines in these kinds of movies.

And HE FLIES OVER THE RAILING-

Did they not want to kill him? Why do they look so shocked he went over the edge?

Whelp, RIP Angel, I genuinely enjoyed that. don't be surprised if this next section is shorter. (Editor Me here, oh I thought the rest of this movie would be boring...how I was wrong)

Vaguely depressed and murderous is also how I look in semi-cheap wigs.

They really did cast a good guy for a politician/'sex pest'. Looks like a few of my state's representatives.

Remember, every character in a British piece of media needs to have a name in the form of Eddie, John, Sam, or Harry.

"Well respected in 'women's' things" Why does Angel get to die and these fuckers roam rampantly.

(Helps adjust his tie) "You've hurt me Harry" Is every villain in this having a thing with their side character besides Con? Or am I just watching too many Queer movies?

OHH IT IS A GAY THING!

YEY!

I don't think slapping the head like it's a basketball is the done thing with blow jobs, but I don't have a penis. So who knows?

'Angel Farnam.' Wow. That is a name choice.

Love that he has a beard. Like, an actual beard to hide a queer relationship from the public.

TOES. EWWWWWW.

OH MY GOD. BELLY BUTTON? WHY? Fucking why? I'm more surprised seeing him finger his belly button than seeing his entire dick, which, is almost impressive for a movie to do!

How funny would it be if he died by falling down the stairs. '2/3 down, 1 to go!'

If he's not dead just fucking shoot him. I know you want info...but

ACTUALLY IF SHE JUST SHOWS UP TO PLACES AND EVERYONE DIES THAT WOULD BE AMAZING

If you look at this like you would a comedy, this movie becomes much better and more entertaining.

That isn't how putting peroxide on a wound should feel, why the fuck is he flinching over every tap?

Cold compress? It's a scrape! I'd be worried more about a concussion with a fall.

THE FUCKING TALKING WHILE THEY SET THE BED AND CLEAN IS SO FUNNY. That's the only editing in this movie that felt like it actually added something.

Why did she join in to the cleaning.

Love that he just wants to eat food when she clearly thinks they're going to fuck.

That was a gentle remote throw, don't know how it broke, 3/10.

You could have shot him almost at any time, now that a ton of people are waiting outside, you decide to care.

"Whore" "-Lying little whore" Hahahahaha. Its lame, but I love when movies do that.

(Seeing him fully bound in BDSM restraints) Look, Like What You Like, but this isn't safe with a stranger? Also, this room looks hard as shit to clean if fluids get anywhere.

If speech is a 'No No' in the dungeon there are toys for that.

"-I never panic". Angel would disagree, you panic all the fucking time. Speaking of Angel-

THE PAST

Izzy the spewer transfers across universes.

THAT ISN'T SAFE, don't reach around and try to swap drivers while driving.

Yes! Take all the drugs before you get pulled over, smart.

Their arguing is very just fucking funny. A lived weird friendship where things just keep going wrong. They're all tied into so many different criminal rings, but they found each other. This could be a prompt for a found family story.

(She took a ton of drugs because the cops are on their asses tryign to pull them over) "Do I look like I'm off my face!" "You're always off your face."

Everyone being high as shit panicking is so good. I've believed their weird friendship here more than anything else in this movie.

Love that they just kind of kidnapped this guy and now they need to deal with his corpse.

PRESENT

"Something I've always been bound up in!" Raises his hands, bound. That got a laugh out of me.

There are gags/toys for that babe, zipping up the mouth hole won't do shit.

Now that she knows all this stuff why doesn't she just shoot him

"Good Luck! God Bless!" He's fun.

At least she kept the key ring in eye sight for him.

This does play on the 'politicians are into kinky shit' thing, but eh.

She keeps on accidentally killing people. Fun.

(Weird shower scene) What the fuck? Who touches their body like that, is she getting off on this? It looks forceful and rough? What man directed this?

"I think he liked me." Sure? He liked you? Why does it matter that these people whose death you witness like you? It's not middle school, they're fucking dead.

"It was me, I was killing them. Sort of." Yes! I don't know why she only cares about them after they die.

What man directed this porn? I respect them not covering anything up I guess? I hope there's no creepy shit online where in interviews she felt like she was forced into these scenes.

The whole 'Multiple photos, that get snuffed out as they die' thing has grown on me, not going to lie.

Her removing her hat and seeing her hair fall down then lighting up a cig, to me, was more erotic than seeing her naked.

Are the 'criminal crew' all Queers? I know Angel was kind of homophobic and jerked off to lesbian porn but-

THERE'S QUEER WOMEN IN THIS? YESSSS!!!

"Lust came to the rescue?" What does that even mean? Are you planning on fucking her?

She's 40 which is still young, she's entering/in middle age. Just own any wrinkles you have, it's hot! So fucking weird that for feminine presenting people aging is seen as something awful, it shows experience! And you own a cat, and clearly have money! Live your life babe!

Her earrings are all choices in this. Those things could knock me out.

They don't film this shit for live TV, I don't know why they're so stressed about her being a few minutes late.

(Pulls bra on backward, snapping the clasp, twisting it right way round, pulling up straps and adjusting over chest) Most realistic scene of a woman putting on a bra in a movie.

Oh, to fondly be called Sweetie.

I want to be her: both of them.

Cocaine + Cigarettes + Alcohol. Uppers and Downers aren't great ideas. But she's having them.

They replaced her cause she's too old I'm guessing? Shitty.

"It wouldn't take much(to kill her)" So go do that! Why do you need a stroll to do the thing you were planning to do.

Strangulation feels like a choice you made when you have a gun.

(protagonist gets knocked out by a bottle when a criminal sees her gun) NICEE! She's been so dumb about pulling out the gun

Why is this such a Tom and Jerry routine

"Fuck you!" "All in good time" AHHHHHH. I've read this story before. We'll see how this one ends.

The PAST

Oh, my favorite crew of idiots. How did they evade the cops? They were just on their asses now they have time to pull over?

Con/Angel fireman carried that guy? Good for him!

"That's not very dignified!" "Well what do you suggest?!!""Stand him up!" They slum him over the railing. Idiots. I admire this crew of fuck ups.

Did they not check for a pulse? Like, even high most people could figure that out. If you can still drive, you can hold your finger up to someone's throat.

(Sees him slowly tip over the railing into the water) Okay, so it's kinda on them, yeah.

The PRESENT

Okay, so gun safety is to always assume a gun is loaded and safety is off. STOP WAVING IT UNDER YOUR NOSE

20? He looked mid 20s at least.

THE PAST (One of the earliest scene we see of them)

Doing drugs in a random Men's room is a choice.

Also, don't lick a public bathroom stall's TP Holder Angel, you fucking maniac.

I'm saying she wasn't invited cause they were planning to all fuck in the bathroom/do as many drugs as possible without her nose taking it all. Any other guesses?

I love Con in this so much. He's so unlike all his other characters it's just fun. Like a pissed-off high toddler that can only put a few thoughts together that arnt him being mad or horny.

"You're hair, it's so black!" "It's natural!" "Oh, Pa-lease" Angel said that last line, oh my sweet summer child, you confuse me so.

(the dead boyfriend and politician start getting handsy) No shit they had a thing going on there. They've been eye fucking every scene he's not passed out sick.

(She angles a mirror to see under a stall to watch a blowjob?) Mam, I wouldn't want to watch my friends fuck. Why are you so weird.

ANGEL 'COCK BLOCK' TO THE RESCUE. Look at that grin, he knew.

"I need some more(cocaine)." "Love? Affection? Punishment?" Sir, I have a whole discord full of Izzy Hands fans you can suggest ideas to. "I'll take the whole fucking lot." SIR!

Ohhh her boyfriend would entrap 'famous' queer people, take photos, and then blackmail/extort them. He deserved to die then, no sweat off their backs. (Also, how does evil lady know all this to tell our protagonist? Is she extorting Patrick now?)

Present

Okay, this is my 4th time seeing this woman naked. Why?

(Protag is tied down and evil lady whispered in her ear)This is...a scene.

Gross forced kiss. I had more fun when this was semi-playful banter but now its just sexual assault. Gross, director.

Mam, you didn't bring that many bullets. Why are you just shooting random shit.

She just leaves her alive?

Aww, I wanted her to kill him(the other extorting friend). If anything he also kind of deserves some of the blame.

Well, this whole plot was kind of for nothing. She got closer to the real plot and was able to realize how shitty her boyfriend was. If he was 20 then she's got to be close to that age. She has plenty of life to move on from this.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Story: 5/10 Shit. No character in this movie had agency/impacted the plot. Everything was accidental. All the ways they were doomed weren't purposefully set up by the main protagonists.

She didn't actively plan for these deaths so they feel hollow. Angel sure, he was tied down by her, but he lives on the nth story, so in the 30-ish minutes he could have left he likely wouldn't have. He assumed it was safe. The politician was an accident, and the media lady still would have gotten replaced.

In OFMD it's fun when Stede Bonnet accidentally kills because we care about him. We know he doesn't mean to do this and it plays on the murderous pirate trope. In this movie, we only know she's hunting down her boyfriend's murders. That's all we know about her! One hour, and thirty minutes, she had no development.

This would be such a fun premise. A woman accidentally interrupts a crime 'friend' group and watches them fall apart. Yet they make it gross and weirdly give no one agency in this whole story.

I want to write this movie better. This premise could be rewritten for a fanfic...hmm....

Editing/Cinematography: 5/10 Keeping it out of chronological order ruined the movie. Some shit really bothered me. A director is a man who has only done other projects to this level. He also wrote this shit, so every gratuitously extra scene of our main actress naked was all on him. He wanted to see her fondle herself and oh boy did he get it.

Every scene of this nature just felt uncomfortable, and putting that forced kiss in at the end just adds to that. He's a perv who thought it was hot. The main actress's dead fish eyes during just added to the awful feeling I got. Sure, we got a 'blowjob' scene, but nothing was super explicit other than it happening. Sexual 'deviancy' felt like something to be ogled at in this movie. The straight/pure 'good' main character had to do away with these sinful yatta yatta, you've heard it all before. I can make this 1:30 minute movie into an hour movie if I cut it.

I wish we cared more about Angel getting caught by the men he owed money too. About Harry getting publicly outed and dumped. About Andrea getting replaced in her tv show. But we just don't. It just kind of happens.

Imagine if we told the backstory of her boyfriend's murder first. Then our main character shows up 20 minutes in, without knowing what the audience knew, to hunt them down! That would be so much more fun! And gives us a reason to care! I enjoyed the flashbacks in this movie and not much else.

There's a good movie in here, it just needs to be re-edited.

Every character besides Con: 6-7/10 I liked how fucked up everyone was, and most of my issues are with the writing. They acted with what they had, and they had shit. Somehow our 3 criminals come off as a weird trio accidentally, just through chemistry. I wanted a movie about them. The spare characters just seemed to try to have fun beside our protagonist. She did the whole dead eyes, getting justice thing. In the end, it didn't even fulfill her. Finding the truth did, not assisting in their downfalls.

Con! 6-7/10 Loved it: Once I accepted he was playing a goofy junkie, I was having a good time. The scene where she saves him after the interrogation was weird. It put me off his character for a few scenes. He was into her and tried to make a move, she told him he needed protection, and that whole story line was just dropped. WHY!

FLASHBACK ANGEL WAS FUN. I don't know the order they shot this, but currently, Angel felt like an always high junkie. Flashback Angel felt like the shitty friend who bullies the friend group and doesn't contribute to anything. When they fall apart he's panicking and loses all bravado. He's fun. I don't think I've seen a bad performance from him. The plot and writing just dragged it all down.

OVERALL: 5-6/10 Writing can kill a movie, and it murdered this one. Definitely the worst of the bunch so far. I enjoyed it, but in a 'cant look away sort of way', it was very fun to watch and just see the action unfold. So do with that what you will.

I'd recommend this movie if you're here for Con. If I wanted to watch this plot again, I'd just watch Vengeance Is Mine. Low B tier overall for movie+Con. Just above the projects where he has almost no time.

Looking at IMDB he did this after Dancing Thru the Dark and the same year as Scarborough Ahoy. How the ever loving fuck?

I would love to hear everyone's thoughts down below, including the usual suspects!

@mossiestpiglet @ivegotnonameidea @treesofgreen

Have an amazing day y'all!

#con o'neill #con oniell #3 Step to Heaven #3 steps to heaven #3 steps to Heaven 1995 #Con's Conography #Angel Farnham

[didasgomas]

I am here again to offer funny stuff to @mustangsart .... I guess ( there was a problem before so that's why I'm posting this one all over again )

Mustang offers angst to his fans and I offer memes to him . Except that I'm not the only fan who does that and this time it's not all memes

I'll be calling the deer / Mary statue / Alt!Thatcher alternate just Deer cause it's much easier . And the one interaction with Preacher is not meant to be a prediction , this is all just for the funzies

But anyway , you're here for the funni , so yeah

Deer : Come on , it's been two days! Go kill that human! Alt!Ces : Nuh-uh! Deer : The fuck you mean "nuh-uh" ?!

Deer : Hey dude , can I get a sip of that vodka? Six : It's not vodka . Deer : Vinegar! I like your style! Six : It's orphan tears . Deer : Wot? Six : It's orphan tears , you puss-

[ Tbf if you haven't yet heard Orphan Tears 1 by Your Favorite Martian then I recommend you do . It's a very good song ]

( Now presenting : Interactions between Sus!Gabriel and his employees )

Gabe : I just need you to take out some people here and there , okay? Alt!Ces : On a date or to their deaths? Gabe : I- Just go already Alt!Ces : Okay boomer Gabe : You little-!

Gabe : Six , I have a job for you Six : Yeah boss? Gabe : I need you to be a parent Six : BITCH WHA-

Deer : Hey boss Gabe : Hmm Deer : So I've still got my attention on the blonde cop dude ; I've gotten rid of the identity crisis fucker like you asked ; and I've traumatized the tall white boy that I think he might end himself tonight Gabe : Good job Deer : Sooooo… Gabe : What? Deer : Am I one of your favourite employees now? Gabe : Haha no Deer : Awh :(

Meanwhile in the void *

Random alt 1 : Do you have an eight? Random alt 2 : No , go fish

Alt!Ces : * groan of boredom *

( Warning : Roasting Six ahead ) [ I can imagine Alt!Cesar with a british accent lol ]

Six : Pff , what are you gonna do? You're just a little hater

Alt!Ces : I'll tell you what , you fat little cunt! You're boring , you don't sound scary at all , so go fuck yourself in the dirty corner you came from , you dirty little baby-eater who puts on chapstick!

Six : … Gabe : Wow

Alt!Ces : Okay , the baby-eater part was probably a little bit overtop , but at the end of the day you're fucking boring! Every single newbie alternate who admires you are all stupid , they're ignorant , they're fat little cunts like you!

Deer : Don't listen to him , he's just jealous cause he's single- Alt!Ces : The creator doesn't even- Deer : -hated Alt!Ces : Huh? Deer : The fans both love and hate you ; me and Six are hated on all sides

Alt!Ces : I'm gonna jump! Six : No , don't jump! * Runs to get a camera * Six : Okay , jump now! Deer : Do a flip!

Alt!Ces : And then he says that … He's my friend Preacher : Oh my Gabe , I DON'T FUCKING CARE!

Hope you have enjoyed this bunch of non-sense

#hail true body au #mustang

[banannabethchase]

he is a bad boy with a tainted heart, nick and luchasaurus 😊

SARAH. SARAHHHHHHHHHHH. YOU GIVE ME A - TO A BRITNEY SPEARS -I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE MONSTER FUCKER SERIES FUDGHIUIDUIGB

~

Dino Fuckers Not-So-Anonymous

Here's this thing. Help.

~

Nick leans against the wall, trying to make it look casual.

"What the hell are you doing?" Matt asks, looking him up and down.

"Nothing," Nick says. He wiggles a little, the tight pants making this far less comfortable than he'd like. "I'm not doing anything."

Matt raises an eyebrow and stares him down. Nick feels like blinking will end his life. "Oh, good lord."

"It's nothing!"

"It's Luchasaurus again," Matt says, groaning. "You keep waiting like this, outside his locker room. It's embarrassing."

"It's not -"

"Just - ask him out, you weirdo. Just say, 'hey, I'm into the dino thing, let's make out.'"

"I can't just ask something like that!" Nick hisses. "And keep your voice down."

Matt's face breaks into a grin. And Nick immediately knows his life is about to implode.

"Lucha!" Matt yells down the hallway. "Lucha, you're in here, right?" Nick chases after Matt as he bangs open doors, making his way through locker rooms and poorly hung curtains until he rips open one to see Luchasaurus in -

Oh god. He's in nothing but a towel and his mask. Sitting on a bench, thighs out for all to see, Luchasaurus looks up at Matt and Nick with an air of amusement. "Hey, man. What's up?"

Nick is transfixed by the tattoos, by the muscles, by the mask. It's the only explanation for why he didn't choke Matt out right then and there.

"Nick thinks you're hot."

Nick panics, almost dies, he thinks, then winds up and hits Matt as hard as he can in the arm.

"Ow!"

"Shut up!"

"Um," Luchasaurus says. "Are you good?"

"Oh," Matt says, shoving past Nick to get to the door. That stupid jacket's too slippery to get a good hold of him. "I've probably lost all feeling in my left side, but Nick's great. Bye!"

Nick's left alone with a burning face and the man he's been not so secretly lusting after for the past few weeks.

"So," Luchasaurus says, and his grin is so knowing it makes Nick squirm, "did this start before or after I nearly killed Jack?"

"After," Nick mumbles. He feels too hot.

"You like a bad dinosaur," Luchasaurus says. "Interesting." He licks his lips, and Nick is suddenly wondering if that green dye transfers easily.

And then he thinks about where that green dye could transfer.

Luchasaurus reaches out and yanks Nick into his space, two massive hands on the back of Nick's thighs, and Nick automatically shifts to straddle his hips. "You want me to keep the mask on?"

"Fuck yeah," Nick gasps.

The dye transfers.

#luchasaurnick #SARAH YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE #wtf i like wrestling now??? #in which sara writes #WHAT EVEN #WHY #Also why was this so easy to write #Help #sarahcakes613 #I wanna make sure your name is attached to this in all possible ways