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wetcatspellcaster · 7 months

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20 Q's for Fic Writers

Thanks @redrocketpanda for tagging me ^_^

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

11! 9 completed, 2 WIPs.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

:)))))))) 831,063 :)))))))))) I don't wanna talk about it.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I am a fantasy videogames girlie, with a brief foray into Darklina sickness. I have written for BG3, Dragon Age, and Shadow and Bone.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Party Favours at 1,804

The Stars Don't Shine They Burn at 1,196

A Bleeding Heart at 1,133

Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth at 1,026

Eye of the Storm at 645

Before this year I had no fics over 1,000 kudos, so that was a cool development in 2023!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to reply to everything, unless I am crippled by depression (or crippled by illness)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That goes to!!! Sunblindness!!! The only time I've foregone 'I can fix him' for 'I can make him worse (and I deserve to, as a treat)'.

I was actually planning to end that fic with a major character death and then a close friend was like "jfc this is what people read for fun Emma, chill the fuck out"

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The happiest ending is probably Party Favours? But I also think Stars Don't Shine They Burn with the 'I can't fix him I can make him fix himself, but at my end, I can also make us immortal soulmates' tied up pretty neatly, and I was very proud of it at the time.

(Also shout out to A Man's Word is His Bond for being the final chapter I'm happiest with.)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, not yet! I've had some entitled comments and a few mansplainers, and if anyone sends a WRITE MOAR comment when I have 9 completed fics and over 800k for people to read if they want to, I'll likely become pissed. But no hate!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Queen of the Fade to Black, the moment anyone touches anything racier than a waist when I'm the one behind the keyboard I start blushing :')))))))))

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have written one whole crossover, my darklina Shadow and Bone/Stardust AU, and tbh it sent me pretty feral at the time.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes :-) twice I think. it's fine.

12. There was no question 12 so I'll make one up myself: What's the longest you've ever spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

Screaming, crying, throwing up. I remember the Emma who used to only post fics once they were fully drafted. I remember writing a Zevran/Warden fic in a week in the height of living alone in lockdown. I also remember writing A Bleeding Heart in a worryingly brief 3-week period.

Then I got hit with the crippling depression. The longest I've spent working on a fic is 19 months for Sunblindness when I got the Big Sads.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! Not a group projects girlie. I'm here to cater to me and me alone.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Lol. Of the ones I've written for, it's a tie between Zevran/Surana and Astarion/Tav, as their dynamics were the funnest (seems rogue/mage is my jam). Of all time, it's Spike/Buffy - I have no need to write for them bc I am already well fed.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a Darklina Wintersmith AU that I have 2 out of 3 chapters down for and then BG3 full release happened. But the depressing answer to this question is 'original fiction projects' - I want to try and write something original but my confidence always fails me. I'm trying to transfer the things I enjoy about fic to original stuff to combat it but I'm not there yet!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Idk man, who could say? I think I'm good at dialogue/banter bc that's the compliment I receive most often in comments. I also think that if I've got a plot-twist in mind from the very beginning, I usually land it? The rest of the plot might be squiggly and messy as fuck, but if a scene was there when the fic was dreamt up (the ending of Sunblindness, the stag scene in my Stardust!AU, the agoraphobia reveal in A Bleeding Heart, the study scene in Pieces, etc.) then it usually ends up being received well and being exactly the way I pictured it in my head.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Can't write smut!!! It's the only thing holding me back!!!

(also if I have the choice between describing something in a sentence or in 3 paragraphs, I usually pick 3 paragraphs. Sometimes this is good, sometimes this is a fucking travesty. See answer to question 2!)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Amazing and encouraged but not something I can do, as I am bad at languages so it would just end up being a colonial hate crime facilitated by google translate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age: Inquisition!

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Despite the way that Full Access recontextualises it, my favourite fic is absolutely A Bleeding Heart. It was so much fun to write, it was my first time doing unreliable narration, and I was really proud of the plot twist in the final chapter. Also for someone who doesn't write smut, the fact that I got a friend to walk out of their house with the hair-pulling scene made me very smug tbh.

Tagging anyone who wants to do this!! I have made a bunch of new friends and mutuals lately, so if you're a writer and you want to answer these qus please do this so I can see your answers.

#ask games #tags #my writing #my fanfic

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classicequinox · 8 months

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Fic FAQ: Where your love has always been enough (for me)

Hello, I thought I'd compile the most frequent questions I've been getting for this fic here for easier viewing/in case you have the same question! :) WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUND

Do avoid reading if you're not up to date with the current chapter, or if you'd rather wait and see how things go as new chapters are released!

1. How old are all the children? Their ages will of course increase with time since this fic spans so many years, but as of chapter 19 (Shouto's birth):

Touya: 10 Fuyumi: 6 Natsuo: 4 Shouto: 0

Keigo: 9 Emiko: 9 Geten: 6

Hana: 10 Tenko: 5

There are some differences from canon since this fic was planned long before all the children's ages were confirmed in the manga!

2. When is Hawks going to appear ? As of chapter 23: very, very soon...

3. Is Touya/Hawks going to be a thing? Yes, they most definitely are! Don't worry I wouldn't be so evil as to tag them for only that angsty DabiHawks scene set in canon :')

4. When is AFO going to do something/why isn't All Might doing anything about AFO? No, I haven't forgotten that AFO exists (and neither has All Might) but unfortunately, there are only so many plotlines that can be actively followed at once :') Let's just say, AFO is up to his usual scheming behind the scenes and All Might is actively dismantling various of his organised crime units.

(That being said, we should get a little preview of AFO in a couple of chapters from C23!)

5. Is Izuku going to make an appearance? Definitely!

6. Are any of the Todoroki children also from Enji's canon timeline/going to travel back in time from the future? Unfortunately not, for 2 main reasons:

1) It's a little universe breaking since the way the branching timelines work, even if the kids travel back, it'd be this AU timeline's version of them who would travel back rather than their canon versions (who would still be stuck in their sucky canon childhood with canon Endeavour)

2) It'd make for a whole story of its own that wouldn't fit into this already very giant fic :')

BUT on both those notes, I'm very willing to break the universe's space-time rules and explore the delicious feels in a spin off! It's still a long way to go (I'd probably want to complete the main fic first), but I imagine any of the kids (Dabi, anyone?) would have a pretty interesting reaction to being thrown into this AU

Feel free to let me know which characters you'd most like to see in that scenario :)

7) How long will this fic be? Good question :') While my headcanons stretch out across the kids' childhoods and deep into their teenage years and beyond... in the name of good storytelling to avoid bloating this fic too much, this story will likely end pre-canon, albeit with a long canon era epilogue.

Projected total chapter count (subject to change): ~30-35

Before I get a lot of screams and angry yelling: I do still intend to flesh out and post those headcanons I mentioned as stories in the same series. Whether as a single actual slice-of-life sequel or multiple character-focused fics or a mix, I haven't yet decided, but there's that!

--- Feel free to ask if you have questions that aren't listed here! :)

#fanfic #mha #faq #endeavor #todoroki family #my fic #where your love has always been enough (for me)

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breezydaysoflife · 1 month

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For the ask game!! A, J, N, V!

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

You are a cruel, cruel person for this one- you know that?? Wants and Needs has almost 30 fics, how am I supposed to choose? I'm not gonna, that's how- you get 3. First is Needy- a very early fic that was written when I still had no idea where W&N was going, but still one of the ones I reach for when life gets a little too much. Second, The Past, The Future. The Crowley was Raphael fic. I love the emotion I put into it, the characterizations of both the ineffables- it's definitely one of the ones I'm proudest of, even now. Third(and yes, finally, I've already cheated enough), Drunken Nights Lead To Conversations. The banter when they're drunk, Crowley letting himself ask for what he wants, Aziraphale's easy acceptance of said wants- I just can't get enough of it tbh, and I think it's one of the perfect examples of what W&N is all about.

J: What’s your favorite fanfic trope? Have you written it?

Ooohhhh fuck this is a hard question, I usually just read whatever I can get my hands on, mostly, but uh... recently I've been really drawn to human AUs I guess? Mostly bcs a lot of them don't conform to/reference s2 and I need a bit more time before I'm able to read anything related to s2 more then once every 2 weeks or so./lh I haven't written any, mostly because they just don't fit how I like to write and my style.

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

Mostly The Wedding Fic rn! I have. So many thoughts. It's gonna be 7 chapters, and I'm already having a blast planning their perfect ceremony. I also have some stuff for the ✨side series✨ I'm playing with, but I scrapped the last version of that fic for Reasons and I haven't started the new one yet

V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you?

Hmm. I wouldn't say it's specific comments, though I'm sure if I dug through literally all of them I'd rediscover something that really hits the feels, but I definitely remember people. There are at least a few usernames I see pop up in my inbox almost every time I post something, and knowing that they're there and still enjoying my work always brings a smile to my face.

#ao3 author #fanfic author #wants and needs #wants and needs fanfic #ask game #thank you for the ask!#this was fun to do #even though the first question was brutal

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scoundrels-in-love · 10 months

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3 8 15 18 20 27 45 54 55 56 58 61 for the writer questions thing :3:3:3 <3<3<3

Hi loooove, thank you so much for asking. *cracks knuckles*

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic An idea - ??nfjnidfjgnf??SF?FD?/???? - oh god, there's typo in the published version

It's... unfortunately not too far from genuine truth. Most of my writing is done in parts of daydreaming it up at work, before sleep, babbling to my friends about it and then wallowing when I actually need to put the words I already came up with on 'paper'. Often I overthink little details too much along the way, enough to get stuck.

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

I am probably bad writer because I don't really view my stories in these segments, I don't plan the arcs and the build up with conscious awareness of storytelling as a method. I just go with the natural swell of emotions and events. The starting and closing lines are always hard, but that's all I define as beginning or end of story. Yes, I do worry if the closing part is satisfying and tells what I intended to, of course, but there's no strict divides in my head.

15. How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

I am writing about werewolves, plant genitalia and what borders as tentacle porn. Realistic is... Not really an option. Though I try to at least somewhat figure out what is physically potentially possible with their size differences, body builds and so forth. Sidenote, I can be picky about words I use in my smut, some I just don't think I'll end up using.

I don't have much of visual imagination or any interest in geting visual references for this that isn't like, fanart, so it's interesting exercise writing something that actually comes across as smut and could potentially be hot. I think I don't manage to convey it enough, but lot of what structures my smut is how characters feel about it, the specific acts and people involved in them. Or what they want the other characters to feel.

I am glad that several people have said that it's tangible these characters care from each other even on my purely smut writing, that gives me hope I am doing something right.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

I used to be borderline physically unable to write a fic until I had a title for it. Same as I needed a name for an OC. As if it was the baseline establishing everything, backbone of it. Over the pauses I've taken in my writing, this has gone away and I often leave the title as the last thing to work on, along with summary. Unless the piece is inspired by a song or poem, then that is one of the first things I do, still.

I almost always use lines from songs, sometimes it's genuinely a hassle these days to find one that fits the fic, the vibe I want to convey. I dream of being the face on your page (I want to hold you forever, I want a taste of the Good Life) took several fucking hours, I was driving myself and my sibling up the wall with it.

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

In Trigun, I feel a little limited in setting, because most things will either take place in saloon/bar, in the desert often localized around a car and maybe Meryl's apartment. At least most of the stuff I've written so far, since I've not been ambitious with tackling Ship 3 or many AUs yet. So, the repetition in that is partially from what I'm writing for. I do know I have soft spot of times where one character ends up inviting the other into their space - sometimes as simple as a hug and often, into their apartment, living space. Especially when there are feelings attached to it being potentially theirs or having been theirs. This follows through from previous fandom(s).

Like I joked previously, it seems one of Rainy's fic bingo slots could be 'a character cries' - I've never written crying so often as I do for Trigun, but it doesn't. Entirely feel out of character or misplaced, somehow. There's lot of traumatic events, all the time, that I end up touching in my writing.

Grief, overall, is definitely a theme. Not just people, but possibilities, too. A chance at happiness. At peace. Yearning for something kinder, better, sweeter. For each other. I ironically don't think I've earned my title of 'rated E for Extreme Yearning' in Trigun yet, but it used to be my brand.

I definitely use deliberate repetitions for sentences.

I use words like smithereens, curdle, hoard, abyss, stone/rock in chest and the like quite a bit. Other than that, I'd actually love to hear what my readers have noticed, I am sure there's more than that!

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

I love, love coming up with new ideas, excitedly talking with people about plots, character behaviors, just playing out little snippets among friends. It's by far the best and easiest part for me, I can spend days doing just that.

The writing itself... Oh, that can be torture. Like extracting words one by one by help of world's cruelest dentist. When it goes well, I love it and get a high like I very rarely do, but often, it's just. The Worst.

45. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

I am not a funny person - at least not the sort of funny that translates well into fiction. I have had few funnier stories in previous fandoms, or at least parts that have funny adjacent lines and when people have enjoyed them and said it made them laugh, I treasure that. But it's not a goal I set out to have.

Also not breaking anyone's heart, despite what it seems. I want to provide catharsis, for myself and for reader if possible, and for me that is usually getting to the bottom of the painful and then exploring way back up or at least showing that there is one (eg. think Disconnect). I am not much of one for angst without happy ending, there's so much misery in life, mine included, that never has one, that I want to imagine and create one where I can.

Though if I make a friend cry... It is a notch in my mental post, not going to lie. Makes me feel like I managed to write genuinely.

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Plotting, babbling, excited screaming with friends, for sure. Although very specific to fanfiction itself is seeing how to pick apart the world, the characters, transpose them into different situations, AUs, and make them still them. I love working out what makes them tick, what defines them and the relationships they have with each other.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

I really enjoyed writing both Brienne and Jaime from my previous fandom, I found it satisfying when I could manage to create my own brand of Jaime's sarcastic, self-depreciating humor, the way he'd say one thing and mean another and sometimes put so much of him suddenly in it that people couldn't accept it easily. And Brienne was lesson in restraint - I wonder how I would write her now that I've allowed myself to... Well, more openly project my neurodivergency and depression onto characters. Write what I do know, not just reflection of what I think people are like from other people's writing.

Which is something I've been doing with Meryl. She is by no means me, or my self-insert into canon, but in the process of trying to understand her, I ended up allowing myself to give her some likeness to my aspects, to how I see and experience the world. And then it expanded to Vash and Wolfwood as well.

That'd be more physical descriptions of grounding via scratching when crying, Meryl's struggle of spoken words versus written ones, them all being aspec and struggling with understanding/being overwhelmed by emotions and attraction.

But back to who I enjoy writing the most - I really love writing Meryl and Wolfwood, though I always fear I am not getting Wolfwood's inner conflict, all the Christian stuff, right. I feel like he has to be more than I manage to write him as. More fucked up, more intense, more soft at his underbelly, more everything.

This is why Vash is lower on my enjoyment scale, too. I feel like he ought to sound and work more differently, being the hyper aware, hyper capable and at the same time, sometimes so silly, person he is. I enjoy writing him being perceived, but writing his POV can be very stressful for me, especially in situations where his competency and intelligence actually needs to be portrayed convincingly. /side eyes Love lives chapter 2

That aside, no it's not really been swayed by reader's reaction, though it has given me confidence, like when someone says I have given them Meryl centric writing they've been looking for.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Pride is a strong word, but I have ended up feeling close to pride for the way I draw comparisons, create similes, about or through emotions, use of nature metaphors and the like. I think it stems from my native language and the sort of things I grew up reading and listening to, but it is something I don't shy away from in fear of being too flowery. Not anymore. It's just how I write, how I see world and feel things and I don't want to go through process of censoring it.

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)

Brainstorming >>>> writing > outlining/editing

Outlining often makes me trip up over small details that I suddenly feel are as huge as as infinite wall and I generally don't outline more than loosely in my head, I get to meat of writing directly in my thoughts. Editing has habit of tiring me out when I have been struggling with some sentence and rewritten it like 5 times already.

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

It's a question I ask myself often. And when I don't have an answer, I fall off the face of earth and cease writing.

I think, in truth, I write, at least past the point of thinking about it in privacy of my own mind, for community, for people. It is not the right reason to write, it has burned me many times when I don't get the engagement I crave or I feel like specific person I had in mind isn't really keen on what I created, but it is mine.

Beyond that, I want to explore feelings, want to find, and if possible, give some catharsis or comfort. Every time someone tells me my writing resonated with them, they felt seen or heard through it, maybe it comforted them, I feel like the effort to write was worth it. So, I guess the short answer is: Feelings. Humanity. Connection. The fictional ones and the ones we create through fiction.

Send me fanfic writer ask?<3

#ask games answered #lovely people #ladymaliwan #sent on a cloud

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plothooksinc · 1 year

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From the writer asks: 2, 13, and 16? :3

No. 2 I just answered! (But the answer is YUS YUP ABSOLUTELY)

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

Very little officially. Like I will bullet point an outline just to make sure I have some vague idea of how to get from A to B and then most of it is just winging it from there. As I suffer from rampant insomnia I definitely do spend a few hours in bed fidgeting and deciding if I was happy with the last scene and how I can improve it, or how I should start the next chapter, etc etc, so there is some thought along the way! But I don't tend to think too much before writing because I'll end up overthinking and not writing at all. (See fandoms A B and C that I wrote for that never saw the light of day.)

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

For the title of the fic itself, right as I'm posting up Chapter 1-- by the time I've fumbled my way through the intro chapter I have an idea of theme/suitability. Working titles are there earlier of course, but they' tend to be pointless dull things I don't put effort into (NRFTW's working title was 72 hours, because that was my first guess of the entire timeline.) When titling NRFTW I did flail around a bit because it had Been A Long While, but I settled on this because No Rest For The Wicked got firmly stuck in my head while I considered how frazzled everyone was going to get, so it's just a play on that. For chapter titles, I'm usually lazy enough to number them without an actual title, but sometimes I get creative. And for the most part they get picked as I finish up the chapter also /o/ I let where I ended up in the chapter guide me on what to call it. (And of course these days I'm just looking up the Still Alive lyrics and going "ah yes, this is perfect, evil cackle here")

Zaibatsu Project is the one exception on both counts because I was loosely calling it 'the Zaibatsu project' before I started writing as I tried to work out if I could make such an obscenely different AU, and then I used a different medium entirely to tell the story (its own little LJ comm with computer code and chat fonts) so that was also an experimental project and the story itself involved revolves around a zaibatsu project... so it just stuck on different levels. And on LJ, all the snippets definitely had their own titles of varying conspiracy-generating complexity, but when I finally started adapting it to put up on ff.net I had to collate the snippets together so ended up going with the flat numbering system.

Thank you! ♥♥

Fic ask meme is here.

#@dawntreaderflynne #fic ask game

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rggie · 2 years

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(same anon as before with the royal au diasomnia thing) tbh i really love the angst potential but at the same time ... i was thinking a slow burn type thing instead yk? i've never actually written angst before + Malleus is like a big fave of mine so idk if i could do it lmaoo but also there's a delusional part of my brain that goes "why not just do two alternate series?" even tho ik realistically i can't even do one 💀 💀 I already planned the chapter division and whatever bc I don’t wanna be stuck and have no idea what to write from there but we’ll see if it ever gets completed lolol but also don't worry abt writing serious stuff !! tbh i feel like a big reason i have a hard time writing is bc i continuously go ah no this is cringe it's not formal enough etc etc yk? just have fun with it and i'm sure people will love what you write regardless :)

1, OOO SLOW BURN IS GOOD. i adore slow burns bc the satisfaction when the love interests get together at the end is just <333 mhm. and also!!! yes!!! non-angsty malleus still slaps. he deserves a hug. a pat on the back. maybe even a hip bump

2, ITS GOOD U HAVE THE CHAPTER DIVISION DOWN!! at least that gives you a baseline to start working on and also i totally understand abt the realistically not being able to do two series PLS because i literally have another smau in my drafts when i’m just about doing the one i alr have out rn😭

3, thank u sm 😭🫶 i will just probably slip in n out of seriousness. sometimes i gotta be a little goofy but writing more serious is always great writing practice. i totally get the feeling of thinking “oh this is so cringe” like. oh my god i used to stare at my writing for SO long and close google docs after writing seriously but i think the more you do it the more confident you get doing so??? anyway anon, i wish u the best of luck with ur malleus series. i’d fight writers block for u 💥🥊

#📩・/ asks

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fourth-quartet · 4 months

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For the Fanfic Writing Ask (get bombarded bitch (affectionate): 4, 10, 16, 19, 20, 29, 30, 33, 36, 39, 51, 57, 73

haha ily <3 <3

4 How do you choose which fics to write?

Honestly, it tends to be whatever strikes my fancy. Some fics require less brainpower and so I'll work on those on days when I need to give myself grace and leeway for existence.

10 Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

... multiple. Definitely multiple.

16 Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

By hand and on laptop! I do a LOT of my planning and outlining by hand and if I get stuck, I'll start writing by hand exactly where I stopped. It's easier to freewrite by hand, I feel like.

19 Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

I definitely do like OCs but I try to only insert as many as are needed for the story. It's part of why the idol AU is so fun to me - I get a chance to flex a bunch of characters from the tookverse that I created who would never see the light of day otherwise.

20 Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Both are fun, and it depends on the canon. I'm a big fan of canon divergences particularly.

29 What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

That I still do it, no matter how sick I am of writing. I still do it.

30 How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

Yes and yes. I edit as I write, and then I start writing sessions by using my first timed period to edit and get myself back into the mindset of the project in question.

33 Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

I've been trying to aim for over 3k for oneshots. For chaptered things, it's harder but I've been trying to go for longer recently.

36 What fic are you proudest of?

Currently, it's owed grief and promised IOUs

39 What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

Honestly, also probably owed grief and promised IOUs. Anytime I write about writers.

51 Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

Yes. Or at least, the things I end up publishing end up being different. I've always been a lover of dead dove topics and dark AUs but I don't often publish them, even if I write them.

57 How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Very.

73 What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

Character and dialogue!

#took answers #fic stuffs #moot tag #sass tag

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timextoxhajima · 3 years

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Nevertheless: Wishful Thinking [3]

[completed] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

synopsis: why would the college flirt want anything to do with the innocent heartbreaker? a [somewhat] nevertheless au featuring tbz's eric son young jae

genre [per chapter]: suggestive material, smut *this series is a smut series so* please don't read if you're uncomfy. if you're underaged and you still wanna read, i'm not stopping you. i don't care because that's your responsibility to know what's fiction and what's not.

word count: i genuinely don't fucking know i think it's at least 4k WHY THE FUCK IS IT GETTING LONG ERJSJSJSJDNAKD

taglist: @from-xero @taeyongandfree @ten-gift @louvyves @sweetutopia @yyyereum @jung-breadshop @sunwoowuvbot @mashedpotittiess

protip: links of BGM are linked~

{this is a work of fiction}

eric swipes his thumb across his bottom lip and drags his index finger over the tip of his nose, tongue still sucking on his teeth as if it hadn't already been a day.

he was sitting on the other side of the tutorial room and you just so happened sat in a spot where he was the first person in your view when you looked up.

stupid hexagonal tables.

the moisture in your mouth suddenly evaporates, leaving your tongue dry like sandpaper against the roof of your mouth.

the lustful blanket over his eyes threaten to rip your mentality apart, and even without him touching you, the heat in your abdomen starts to clench and throb.

the thought crosses your mind, just so you can convince yourself: if eric can associate himself with sex within your primal instincts then the brain that got you here can associate him with a big, fucking, red flag.

you suck in a deep breath and hold it for awhile, eyes plastered to the ipad under your palms. crossing your legs tightly, your jeans hug your hips and waist all too perfectly.

yujeong had smacked one of her baseball friends earlier that day for staring at your legs.

after the likes of wooseok's party and the incident yesterday, you made it an effort not to show up in dresses or skirts anymore. call it ptsd, call it trauma, call it not wanting to get into trouble.

whatever it was, you didn't want eric anywhere near you.

well, despite how good he mad-

"can you stop eye-fucking him from across the room?" yujeong harshly whispers at you, glaring at you from the corner of her eyes.

"what?" throwing your tied-up hair to your other shoulder, you tilt your face to her.

"what do you mean 'what'?" yujeong hisses, nodding to the boy across the room. "y'all are fucking in your heads!"

"yes, broadcast it to the entire class, would you, please?" the sarcasm drips off your tongue with a frown.

"I'm just saying if you want him so bad then just go get a room. fucks' sake, go find a practice room or something."

"i think I'll go with 'or something'."

and in that second, your iPad lights up with a notification from the school email account.

yujeong parts her lips with a retort, but you quickly shush her by pressing a finger to your lips when the professor seemed to glance over at the two of you.

she inhales a deep breath, spotting the notification pop up on her laptop screen too.

to: all students

from: the college union

title: dance union winter getaway

dear students,

every year, more than 200 students apply for the dance union but only 20 are accepted. thus, it is of high regard that the members of the dance union utilise the annual winter getaway to bond.

this year's event will be held at lake white. all students in the dance union with leadership positions are expected to be present and those with valid reasons of absence are required to fill up the form attached to this email.

if you're interested in joining the dance union, please apply in the first week of the new academic year. applications open first week of the semester.

regards,

the student union

staring wide-eyed at the email with your apple pencil trembling in your fingers, you gulp.

fuck.

yujeong's lowly snicker sounds from next to you, and you look to her, only to watch a bright smile stretch across her face.

"what?" she snorts, tears in her eyes. "don't look at me. look at your captain."

your neck snaps to the boy across the room, who's got his phone lifted with the screen displaying the email page. he waves it around a little, raising a brow with a menacing shimmer flashing across his eyes.

your blood begins to boil without reason.

why were you suddenly stuck to him? it's like the planets and stars aligned just so he glue himself to you; so he could ruin your title and rip you apart, inch by inch.

your fists clench around the apple pencil, and you're only snapped out of your inner rage when the professor calls on you.

yujeong leans into the lockers with her books against her chest, mindlessly scrolling through her phone as you go on incessantly about the student union's decision to make it mandatory.

you swing the locker door so hard that it bounces off its limit and nearly comes back down onto your hands, but you stop it before it does.

"how does the fucking winter getaway improve our bonds?" you hurl a textbook into the locker. "it's not like we're gonna sit in a circle and sing hallelujah, right?"

"you went for that getaway last year-"

"yeah, and we did nothing besides getting shitfaced! fuck this stupid winter getaway."

"sis, say that any louder and your 'innocent heartbreaker' image is gonna change into something more like 'brutal heartbreaker'."

"don't fucking call me that," you hurl another book into your locker. "and why does everybody talk like that nowadays? 'say that any louder'? where was that from? a movie? a tiktok?"

"why are you so on edge?" yujeong pushes herself off the metal doors and frowns. "you've been on edge ever since wooseok's party."

"i am always on edge."

"what?" yujeong pulls her lips up into a slight wince as her eyes half into squints. "bullshit. what happened to your little 'innocent heartbr-"

"don't," you lift a finger, shutting your eyes and stopping her. "say another word."

yujeong raises both her brows, smirk plastered to her face as she readjusts her bag. "don't worry."

you look up at her, placing the last item in your locker.

"i don't have to."

"what?"

"so," then that godforsaken voice rings from behind you, and all your physical senses start to shut down one by one.

yujeong sees right past it, smirk turning into something less devious as she puffs her cheeks.

"about the winter getaway."

"i'll leave the two of you at it."

"what? no-"

"bye!"

"yujeong-"

she turns and strides off, short hair lathered around her neck. she waves with a bright grin, leaving you to back face the vicious heartbreaker.

you remain rooted to the ground, locker door wide open and bag slung around your right shoulder. eric waits until yujeong disappears down the hall, leaving a few other students within the vicinity to turn and stare at the two infamous dance captains.

eric walks to your side, reaching out and resting his palm on the outer edge of your locker.

"we're in open space," he smiles, gradually pushing the locker door inwards and closing it for you. then he rests his palm against the metal door, sandwiching you again. "there's not much i can do to you."

a few students turn to stare.

"unless you want me to."

"stop it."

"stop what?" he smirks and buckles his arms, forcing you to lay your back flat against the metal surface. "I'm not doing anything."

"then what are you doing now?" you frown and look up at him, knuckles whitening around your bag straps.

"having a conversation."

someone fishes a phone out, and the flashlight flickers.

eric whirls around, keeping his arm anchored to the locker.

"stand down, kid."

"sorry," he fumbles with the phone, and now you'll never know if he actually took a picture.

"anyway-"

"look, i don't know what kind of game you're playing but this isn't healthy for us if we are supposed to work together. especially with the winter getaway coming up."

eric licks his lips and lowers his head, smiling at the sudden cast of professionalism.

"it flatters me that you don't care too much about having fucked outside of wooseok's garage-"

"eric-"

"nor getting fucked out in the practice room-"

"eric-"

"or even the fact that you tied up your hair today-"

"i tie up my hair whenever i fucking want to."

"ooh," eric winces at the snap, his pearly whites glimmering under the lighting. "the 'innocent heartbreaker' is angry!"

"will you shut the fuck up?"

"aw," he coos, leaning into you and breathing down your philtrum. "make me."

your fists finally clench, jaws locked and temples tightened.

"I'll rip off your dick if you touch me again. now, back off."

you press your palms flat into his chest and shove him away, breaking him into light chuckles as he stumbles back.

you pull your bag back onto your shoulder, turning sharply and stomping off.

"hey! we still need to meet up to discuss the plans for lake white!"

the scent of half-painted canvases with acrylic paint washes through your nose when you enter your room.

it's definitely bigger than what a normal room should look like, but it's not your fault that both your parents work under Lee Enterprises, the country's telemarketing company.

the studio corner of your room is in a mess, and you're just halfway done painting the edges of your mirror.

which for specific reasons, you can't really look at it anymore.

the peculiar object you chose to decorate the glass surface hang idly on the corner of the frame, reflecting the afternoon sun spilling into the room.

eric son: so when do we discuss the plans for lake white?

eric son: i don't like to procrastinate

"'discuss the plans for lake white'," mumbling under your breath, you dump your bag into the corner of your room, huffing and resting your hands on your hips. "he's the damn captain, isn't he? he can do it on his own."

notification: acrylic paint to be delivered today

your phone automatically links up with the bluetooth speaker in the room, and you mindlessly tap on the shuffle button before pulling off your shoes.

eric son: okay so I'm thinking groups of four

you pull off your jacket and let the ends of your ponytail brush across your back where the camisole doesn't cover, cool air rushing across the hairs on your skin.

eric son: we can play truth or dare

the bass rumbles through the flooring as you pull off your jeans, throwing on one of those open-holed shorts that no one was ever going to see you in - not even yujeong.

the doorbell rings, yanking you out of your mental rage session over eric son.

acrylic paint.

picking up a cardigan and tying it around your waist, you jog down the stairs and pull open the door without hesitation.

She's just that type of girl

"what. in the world. are you doing here?"

eric tilts his head to the side, his eyes running the length of your body - all the way down to your feet and back up.

"you weren't replying my texts so i thought-" then he raises both hands from his sides, taking a step back and gesturing to your front porch like he owned it. "what better way to have your presence than to go to you?"

"how do you know where i live?" a frown befalls your brows, and your grip tightens on the door handle.

"it's in the school records for student leaders," he offers you a smug shrug, taking a step back to where he was previously standing.

your lips part in an attempt to challenge his explanation, but then he waves it off with a cheeky snicker. "I'm joking. yujeong told me."

"now, why the fuck would she give you my address?"

"hey, captain to captain! plus she knows i won't hurt you."

a scoff runs off your tongue. "you want me to believe that you won't hurt me?"

eric's tongue darts across his lips as he leans on the door frame. "not in your house. oh, i wouldn't dare, princess."

with a huff, you blink away the eye contact first, taking a step back and tugging on the door. "don't fucking call me that."

but his hand flies out and thuds against the wood, keeping the door open. he slowly steps forward, letting himself in.

"then what should i call you?"

"names exist," you step back and grip onto the empty arms of your cardigan around your waist. he closes the door, pulling the chain to lock it.

"then do you prefer y/n or 'innocent heartbreaker'?"

you squint at him, cocking your face at an angle as you back up again.

the answer settles in your head, but you can't say it out loud.

because he's already debunked it.

She's just that type of girl

"fun playlist," eric nods up the stairs, arm stretching out to you and snaking around your waist.

"don't fucking touch me-"

then his other hand circles you as well, his arms around you as he holds you to him, lowering his face into yours. an arching back tries to keep his face off yours, but any more and your spine would've snapped into two.

his nose presses into your cheek as he slots his lips between yours, and the world goes into a muffled silence for a few seconds.

or maybe that was just your playlist moving on.

your nails dig the inside of your clenched palm, fists against his chest as he pulls you up to deepen the kiss, lips moving with yours in some intricate dance of dominance.

on beat with the distant bass coming from your room.

he lets out the first groan, his hands gradually sliding down your back and groping the flesh of your rear that's poking out from under your shorts.

the harsh grip squeezes a whimper out from you, your entire body cringing forward into him and closing the gap between you. with one palm still holding onto your ass, the other comes back up in between your shoulder blades, keeping your chest plastered to his.

eric turns you around, holding you against the wall that leads up to the stairs. your back is flat against the surface, hair stuck to the felt of the wall with your thigh being pulled up over his pelvis.

We should just calm down and fuck some time

then he pulls away and huffs, lips hung wide open and his eyes completely lost in yours. in a low growl, subtly shakes his head as if to disapprove your disobedience against the song lyrics.

"oh, we fucking should."

eric doesn't bother waiting for a response before dipping his nose into your jaw, lips latching onto the tender skin of your neck.

"you coming here-" a jolt of bliss rushes through you when he finds a tender spot, his arms tightening around your waist to keep you close and against the wall. "-was not an invitation-"

the cologne on his clothes starts to intoxicate you like alcohol does to any normal person, the scent of his hair and his clothes wafting and shuffling all around you.

"but you don't hate me being here, do you, princess?" he mumbles into your skin, nipping at the spot behind your lobe. your eyes flutter shut, fists clenching against his shoulder blades.

"come on," he whispers. "we've done it outside and in a practice room, surely you must feel more comfortable in your own bed?"

your eyes widen upon the suggestion, the thought of that cursed object hanging over the corner of your mirror in the room suddenly pulling your soul back into your body.

"no, we can't."

eric pulls away from you, lips reddened from the nipping. they are apart, and his breathing slows as he studies your face.

the panic in your eyes is far too grave for him to miss.

"why not?"

gulp.

"you don't happen to-"

"it's not a vibrator."

eric raises his brows, caging you between his arms as he corners you further, chest on yours and his lips right above your lashes.

"perhaps a-"

"it's not a dildo either."

he pouts in slight disappointment when he can hear the stark honesty in your voice.

his chest rises and lowers under his shirt, listening to your breathing that hitches in your throat every now and then; observing your discipline to keep your eyes away from him.

"you're not gonna tell me what it is?"

glaring at him through the corner of your eye, you shake your head with a resounding 'no'.

he pauses.

then he leans into your ear.

"you being scared is just making me a little more curious, princess."

"curiosity kills the cat."

eric pulls away and slides his arms off the wall. "cats have 9 lives."

the number of sirens that go off in your head spikes, and before you can process his words, he grabs your arm and pulls you onto his shoulder.

"oh my god!" his arm wraps around your lower back, knees against his chest and the world from your eyes upside down as he hoists you up the stairs. "put me down, jesus christ!"

"the more you yell, the more you're gonna regret it, princess," he warns while chuckling to himself. "what could it be, if it's not a dildo or a vibrator?"

then the warmth of his palm reaches up to your shorts, and his fingers dig under the cloth of your underwear.

"fuck, eric-"

all too easily, he pushes a finger into you, your entire body cringing from the sudden intrusion. your eyes blur out just as he makes it to the second floor, and he doesn't need to ask which door he should be heading to.

not when your door has a framed portrait of yourself from last year's concert.

the door creaks open when he pushes the two of you into your room, greeting the sunlight drawn across the floor and his finger still buried inside you.

you heave a sigh when he pulls his finger out and shoves it into his mouth, leaning over your bed to rest you into the cushion.

automatically, his eyes are on high alert, scanning your room. but by the time you've regained your senses and the blood's returned to the rest of your body from your head, he finds it.

resting on the back of your forearms, your breath turns shakey and your eyes twitching from the sight of it dangling off his fingers.

eric turns to look at the mirror, turning the item in his fingers to match the painting of it on the edges.

"so," he returns to you, raising a cocky brow and smirking. "you get high off painting handcuffs on your mirror?"

you tightly shut your eyes as the frown cements into your forehead.

"fuck."

eric scoffs, tongue dragging across his upper lip as he walks towards you and lifts a knee to your bed, the other following.

"this really makes me question how you even got your reputation," eric jingles it from his fingers, his free hand reaching down to draw circles on your right ankle.

"it's just acrylic paint. i paint something new every month-"

"and so your choice for november was... handcuffs?" he wraps his hot fingers around your ankle and yanks you downwards, your crotch nearly meeting his knees.

"it's not my fault you decided to play this game the month i decided to get something remotely inappropriate."

"'remotely inappropriate'," eric repeats, smiling as he lowers himself. the handcuff still within his right hand, his left draws trails up your right leg, playing with the rim of your shorts where they were already riled up enough to expose a bit of your underwear. "so, tell me princess. why did you choose this-"

he holds it up and jingles it over your nose. "to paint?"

"surely it's not because it's pretty."

"or maybe you think it'll look pretty around your wrists?"

eric reaches for your hands and you struggle upon instinct, he pins your dominant hand down first and clips the first cuff around your wrist.

"eric-"

he finds your free hand and connects both your wrists, clipping the other cuff despite your struggling.

eric sucks a deep breath, then parts his lips to exhale. pushing himself off you, he pulls your shorts off first, eyes trailing across every inch of your body with your wrists cuffed together.

the thoughts wash through you involuntarily.

the wooden planks. the dress. the torn underwear.

the mirror. the fogging. the skirt.

the tears collect in the corners of your eyes even before he can completely get it off your ankles.

then he pulls your legs apart for him to lock them in place with his own thighs, crouching over your body like a lion devouring his prey.

he pushes your arms up and above your head, making it difficult for you to bring them back down with your wrists bound together.

his breath is hot on your chest where he first dips his nose into, tongue swiping across the skin of your heaving ribs. hands coming up your waist and pushing them up your torso, it exposes your ribcage and bra.

inch by inch, he breaths down the length of your torso, from your chest and over to your stomach with your camisole rolled up messily over your bra.

upon reaching the rim of your underwear (and heaving stomach as you pant and huff in a bid to calm your nerves), he stops and looks up at you.

"thank god you rejected wooseok."

then both his hands come down to your chest to rip apart your camisole, pulling it out from under you before he unbuckles your bra.

you swallow the first whimper already on the tip of your tongue, but your stomach plunges and your back arches violently when he takes the tip of your breast between his lips.

left hand coming round to grip your other, his right travels down to play with your sensitivity, forcing your body into subtle jolts with the overwhelming sensation.

he tugs on your tip, grazing it between his teeth before releasing it and latching his lips onto the tender flesh in a bid to make his mark.

your brows finally furrow into a frown of bliss, jaw hung agape though struggling to contain the lewd noises prancing about in the back of your throat.

he rolls the other tip between his index finger and thumb, sucking and kissing the reddening flesh of your chest.

and down below, he's pushed your underwear aside, thumb abusing your sensitivity and buckling your hips upwards.

he provides you one sharp bite on your tip, earning a strained hiss from between your teeth. it feeds his pride, for he removes himself off you completely and stares down at you, admiring the painting he's made on your chest.

hickeys.

grip marks.

and the wet patch on your underwear between your legs.

he turns and shifts off the bed, leaving you to catch your breath and cross your legs over one another.

the clacking about in your studio corner drives the tears into your eyes, listening to the lid of the box where you keep your paint come off.

you shut your eyes, resigning to fate.

for your body is in burning need and the discipline to go against his word has betrayed you.

you hear his belt come undone, the weight of his clothes hitting the carpeted ground before the mattress around your legs sink again.

"oh... princess~" he sings, coaxing you out of your mental begging that this was just a nightmare.

a corner drags across your stomach, and your eyes fly open to see his fingers wrapped around a bottle of acrylic paint, completely oblivious to him pulling your underwear off your legs.

black.

the only color that was still relatively abundant.

then the sight of his nudity drives you up a wall inside your head; better yet, driving your resignation up against your own skull.

the lines of his pelvic bone leading down to his manhood all for your eyes to feast on, and even if you wanted to look away, you couldn't.

fuck.

"listen to me very carefully, princess..." he shakes the bottle, then proceeds to unscrew the cap. "I'm sure you don't want any of these on your bed, right?"

chills run through your body when he tilts the bottle over, squeezing the paint onto his palms.

"so," he blinks back to you, eyes wide and cautious. "my advice?"

and with that, he carefully caps the bottle, effortlessly tossing it over his shoulder and back into the box.

he presses his palms together, spreading the paint across his skin.

"don't move too much."

with a wide grin, he smudges the paint into your thighs and up your stomach, sliding the paint all the way to your breasts where he offers a harsh grip.

he doesn't give you a chance to respond to that before he slides himself into you, your neediness allowing him entrance far too easily.

by now, your body was somewhat conditioned to recognise his size, but the idea of him buried deep inside you and his groaning coating the room makes you a little more feral; a little more insane.

the whimper that runs off your tongue is mercilessly lapped up by him when he leans over to kiss you, tongue shoved into your mouth in a bid to shut you up.

he rolls his hips back and forth, unwilling to stop and definitely unwilling to give you any kind of mercy when it comes to making you lose your grip on reality.

he pulls away and resumes an upright position, abs flexed and his palms still gripping onto your chest like his life depended on it.

but eric seems to be a little on edge himself, for this was his first time seeing all of you under him, instead of your humility covered by a dress or a skirt and worrying about being caught in school.

no.

now, he can feast his eyes on you like the predator he is.

not only does he decide to leave his own marks, but marks that you gave him access to.

his handprints are black on your skin and the entire bed is jerking along with every thrust he's offering you.

you finally let out a strained cry, tears collecting in your eyes with the bliss rushing through you over and over again like a broken record. eric's breath turns shaky, and his grip on you begins to loosen when his thighs start to convulse.

by some miracle, the last thrust hits your climax and he pulls out almost immediately after to coat the paint on your stomach with himself.

cream on black.

eric huffs arrogantly, taking deep breaths to retain his breathing as he releases you, stepping back to take in the sight of you in your own bed, ruined by him.

"you definitely look pretty in cuffs."

#nevertheless: wishful thinking #eric smut #the boyz smut #tbz smut #eric sohn smut #eric scenarios #eric imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #tbz scenarios #tbz imagines #eric x reader #eric sohn x reader #the boyz x reader #this was too filthy

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yesitsmewhataboutit · 2 years

Text

Ezra

Mikey x Reader

This is a Star Wars/Mcu Au

Summery: You and Mikey are perfect for each other. You learn each others secrets, and keep each other afloat. Mikey gets to know you. He opens your heart again, showing you care and love, making you happy. The universe however, has other plans.

»»——⍟——««A/n: Yes, I’m aware most of the Star Wars info is probably not 100% accurate. I’m more of a Marvel Nerd, deal with it

»»——⍟——««A/n: View Mikey how you want, but this is meant to be him age-up of course but also still with his blonde hair

Summery 2: Time waits for no one. It’s brutal and cruel. Your whole reality changes, and you can’t get the space you want. Maybe it’s all ok, maybe it’s only in your mind, but who’ll convince you of that? Its out of your power to change anything, but what happens when one boy heals your soul?

(That one was more of a joke. See what I did there ;))

Series Warnings⚠️: Fluff, smut, angst, talks of suicide, somnophilia, non-con if you squint really hard, blood, bitting, not technically vampires but vampires, violence

Chapter Warnings⚠️: None

Wc: 4,088

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Masterlist

Chapter 1

Was it wrong to stay alone? To stay in your own little world, away from people, away from problems, cutting yourself off from the world, and keeping your life a secret, keeping your problems a secret. You didn't mind it. You didn't mind being quiet, being unnoticed. Life didn't go your way, and that was ok. You lived with it.

You liked the quiet life. Going to class, learning about the universe, minding your business, not bothering anyone and nobody bothered you. Maybe one day, you'd leave the planet. You'd find somewhere else, find some real friends, forget about the life you'd be leaving behind. It was a nice thought. Who would've thought one project, one partner, one boy would change your life, would open your heart again.

You had heard a kid was joining your class. He wasn't new, but his schedule changed. "Well, Mr. Sano, late on your first day, are we?" your professor scolds. The boy with dark blonde hair walked in with an embarrassed smile. "Sorry, got a little held up," he says. "Take an empty seat, Manjiro," your professor says, motioning to the class.

The boy looks around for a seat, and you watch as the other kids in the class move their bags to cover any empty seats. You roll your eyes, "You can sit here. Since everyone else wants to be lame," you say. He smiles and walks toward you, sitting in the seat. You bring your attention back to the book in your hand, not paying him any more attention.

"Thanks for the seat!" he speaks from next to you, pulling your attention back to him. "Late on your first day to this class. Great first impression," you say, not turning your head from the page. He laughs, detecting the teasing tone. "Yeah. My sibling likes to act stupid and not get out of bed. Got a little sidetracked," he says, "I'm Manjiro, by the way. But you can call me Mikey," he smiles. "I'm Y/n," you respond.

Before either of you can say anything else, class starts. Your professor starts his lesson, talking about the environment and things about certain planets. You zone out after about ten minutes. Near the end of class, he starts talking about a project, saying that you'll have two weeks to complete it, and you have to partner with whoever sits next to you. "Looks like we're stuck together the next two weeks," Mikey chirps from beside you. You turn to him, giving him a slight smile and nodding.

You and Mikey talk about the project. You agree to get supplies after school and then work at his house. After class, you continue with your day. Later, between classes, while you eat lunch, you sit at a table, alone, as usual. You continue to read, minding your business. Mikey's walking and spotted you, sitting alone, reading, and eating your lunch. He smiles and walks toward your table. "This seat taken?" he asks, pulling your attention. "Yes. By imaginary friends 1, 2, and 3." You snicker, looking up from your book momentarily. What's with this guy? Why was he so interested in you? You wanted to be alone, to stay alone, not bothering in his life.

He laughs and sits down. "This supposed to be a friendly gesture or something?" you ask flatly. "Maybe. Figure it's worth knowing my partner a little more. Make the experience more fun," he smiles. "Fair enough, I guess," you say. "Well, I don't know anything about you enlighten me," he says. You think for a moment. What's there to say? Well, there's a lot to say...but what could you say that won't scare him off? Maybe you should scare him off. Not like he's going to stick around a while anyway.

"You first," you say, setting down your book to look at him. "Well, I'd like to leave off this rock someday. My older brother is teaching me to pilot. My parents dropped us off here but never came again to get us. It was around when my brother was 13, and my younger sister was turning 1." He said it like it was nothing like he almost didn't care. It was interesting tho. You wonder how he was when it all happened. If he remembers much. If he misses them.

"I have an older sibling too," you say quietly, "A sister. And a twin brother." Mikey smiles. He opens his mouth to say something else, but then another boy walks up, setting his lunch down and sitting next to Mikey. "You gonna introduce me, man?" he asks, elbowing him in the side playfully. "This is Y/n. She's my partner for that class project," he turns to you, "Y/n this is my stupid friend, Draken." He laughs. "Hi," you say shyly. "So what had you been saying? About your family?" Mikey asks, turning his attention back to you. "Nothing. Just that my family's kinda crazy, I guess," you say, laughing slightly. "Just wait till you meet Shinichiro and Emma," Draken laughs. Mikey rolls his eyes. "Who's that? Your siblings, I'm guessing?" you ask. "Yeah, Shinichiro is my brother and Emma my sister," he says.

You smile at what he says. They sound fun. They sound like it would be fun to be around. You think about your siblings and the fun types you had. You wish it could still be like that. You wish you weren't so caught up in your own head that you could have fun, laugh, make friends, not feel the constant burden of the past. That past you wanted to forget about, but you couldn't, no matter what.

"My older sister's name is Kori, and my brother is Yuki," you say. Draken raises his eyebrow, "Older sister, you say?" he says playfully, leaning in further to the table. You roll your eyes and laugh. "What're your siblings like?" Mikey asks. "She's about the same height as me. She's a little mean, but she's my sister, so that's not a surprise," you smile at the table thinking about it, "My brother Yuki and I are twins, and you can tell. We're basically the same person." Mikey smiles and listens as you talk.

He asks you a few more questions, a little about your parents, some about your life, you didn't tell him much. Soon, it was time for you all to go to the rest of your classes, so you said your goodbyes and parted ways. It was cool talking to Mikey, you got comfortable, but it doesn't change anything. You couldn't get close to him. Your mind wouldn't let you. You didn't know why, but you just couldn't, not after what happened, not after how you felt. It was too much. He seemed fun, but you couldn't stop from missing everything, from thinking about the past, nobody has made you feel better, feel whole again, feel happy again.

After school, you and Mikey agree to work on the project at his home, stopping at the market for supplies. "So, tell me more about your family," Mikey asks as you walk around the market, picking up things to check off your list. "Nothing much to tell. You said you had a brother and sister? What are they like?" You deflect the question back, not having an answer, not wanting him to ask more questions. "Well, my older brother, Shinichiro, has been like the parental figure since our parents haven't been around. He's a bounty hunter. We have to get food on the table somehow," he shrugs, "He has a hard time trusting people, but after you get to know him, he's nice."

You can tell Mikey loves his family. The way he smiles as he speaks of his brother. You know that feeling, loving someone so much, your heartwarming as you talk about the person, it breaks your heart when you think about it, but you push it away, keeping the smile on your face as he speaks. "My little sister Emma, she finds friends with anyone. She's nothing like Shinichiro and me. We've taken care of her since she was a baby. I love her, even though she can be a real pain." He ends with a laugh. Smiling as he thinks about his siblings, no doubt a memory going through his mind of them.

After you have everything you need, you head to his home. It wasn't far from the market. Only a half click away. Soon, you walk up to the house, Mikey typing in the code and sliding open the door. When you step inside, almost right away, you hear little feet running through the home, coming your way. A little girl emerges from the corner. "Mikey!" She shouts, jumping into his arms for a big hug. "Welcome back!" She jumps down, a big smile on her face as she smiles up at him with bright eyes. "Hey, Emma. This' my friend, Y/n," he motions to you behind him. "Hi," you say sweetly. "Hi! What are you guys doing?" she asks. "We have a project," Mikey says, starting to walk past her toward his room.

You follow him, hearing Emma behind you say, "Oh," almost sounding disappointed, "Ok. Have fun," she chirps as you make it to his room. You set your stuff down and get to work with him. It was silent the first few minutes, and surprisingly, it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. It felt normal. But eventually, Mikey broke the silence with more questions. "So you had been eating alone today. You have many friends at school?" Wow, great question. You shake your head, "Nope. I used to have one friend, but she's traveling with her family now," you say, not taking your eyes from the project. "Well, then I assume no boyfriend either?" he asks.

"You don't have many friends either, do you, Mikey?" you ask, looking up with a sarcastic smile. "Sorry," he laughs nervously, "I probably could've worded that better." He turns his attention back to the project. "Could've fooled me though, I would've thought a bunch of guys would be after you," he smirks. You smile and blush, rolling your eyes. As you continue to sit there, you hear a storm in the distance, looking up and out his window. "Hm, we might be able to finish before it gets closer," Mikey says.

You continue on the project for the next hour and a half. Every once in a while, feeling the presence of Emma at the door but ignored it. "What a two-week project," Mikey laughs after you finish. "Easy," you say, smiling at him. You turn your attention back outside, seeing the storm had started and was big, and you knew Mikey wouldn't let you leave. It looked really unsafe. "You can stay here until it calms down," Mikey says, seeing you stare out the window. You turn to him and nod, starting to put all your supplies away.

The door swings open. "You're staying?!" Emma asks, looking hopeful. "Yeah, just for a while until the storm calms down," you nod. "Great!" she cheers. Once you are done putting everything away, Mikey gets up, heading to the kitchen to cook dinner. Emma pulls you off to the side, wanting you to play a game with her. You do, smiling at how happy she gets. For once, you relax, playing with her, your mind no drifting, your thoughts and memories not attacking you. You felt happy.

There's a thud on the roof, and then the front door opening, a boy walking through, someone you can guess is Mikey's brother. He has in armor and a helmet. He removes it and looks at you and Emma. Emma jumps up, running and hugging him just like she did Mikey. "Welcome home, Shinichiro!" He hugs her, his eyes flickering over to you. You stand, walking to him and putting out your hand to shake. "Hi, I'm Y/n. Me and Mikey are working on a project." He shakes your hand, "Someone other than Draken. That's different," he says. He looks over to Mikey and walks around you, joining him in the kitchen.

Emma pulls you back to the game, and within minutes Mikey walks in from the kitchen and gives you both a plate. "Thanks," you say. "No problem, hope you like squid," he says. You nod and start eating. Mikey goes back and gets a plate for himself. He sits down on the couch. Shinichiro disappears in the hallway, coming back in regular clothes, and gets his plate. "So, Y/n, you have any siblings?" Shinichiro asks.

"Uh, yeah. A brother and sister," you say. He nods, "How old are they? Are they at the same school as you and Mikey?"

Mikey looks up, giving him a look, "Could you not give her the third degree right now? I'm trying to keep her as a friend," Mikey says.

"I'm just making conversation," Shinichiro shrugs. "Wait, you guys are only friends?" Emma pouts. "Yeah," Mikey looks up at you, "Well, I hope you could at least call us that?" he says, wanting your approval.

"Yeah," you smile at her, "Just friends." She pouts but stays quiet and eats her food.

Friends. It's been a while since you had a friend. If you were honest, you didn't think of him as your friend. You just met him. He was only someone from your class. You only said that to humor Emma. For whatever reason, she wanted you to be friends so much. It didn't matter. After today, he'd forget about you, moving on with his life. You had finished the project, and so he had no reason to want to stick around you. He had his own friends.

Emma gets up after a few minutes, taking all the plates to the kitchen. She comes back, first starting toward Mikey to sit next to him on the couch, but then pausing and turning instead toward Shinichiro. She climbs on the sofa he sits on, sitting next to him and snuggling under the blanket. Mikey turns on the tv, turning to a random channel.

"Y/n, if you want to sit up here, you can," Mikey says, referring to the couch. You had still been sitting on the floor from playing with Emma. You nodded and got up, sitting next to him. You all sit quietly, watching the tv. After some time, your eyes grew heavy, and eventually, against your will, they closed.

Mikey didn't notice until you started leaning on his shoulder. That was one thing about you. You could fall asleep anywhere, but you always lean when you sleep, so you lean on random people sometimes. You hated it.

He blushes, looking at Shinichiro and Emma to see if they noticed, but they hadn't. Emma was cuddling into Shinichiro's side and asleep, and he's focused on the show. Mikey looked back to you, smiling again as he got more comfortable.

Eventually, Mikey falls asleep, but not before you leaned more on him, your head resting on his lap, as you unconsciously moved your body up on the couch. Mikey moved the blanket higher on your body, making sure you were warm before he rested his hand on your waist, closed his eyes, and drifted to sleep.

Mikey didn't have to make the food. He didn't have to be nice to you or care if you left, but he did. Mikey didn't have to make his family seem normal but did. He did, for you. Mikey liked you and didn't want to scare you away. He didn't know why, but he had been fond of you ever since the class when you were nice to him.

Mikey's family is part of a species feared among the planet. It didn't have a name, and anyone who knew about them always kept their distance. The rare species were that of ones who drank blood to live. It had been a weird mutation thousands of centuries ago. They were still normal, just like everyone else, but they had fangs that allowed them to drink blood, and they could heal themselves. That was the one big difference, and people feared it. Mikey and his siblings are among the last to still live on Lothal.

Nobody knew about him and his family. The only person that knew was Draken. He was the reason nobody knew there were still ones of the species on Lothal, he let Mikey, Shinichiro, and Emma feed from him. He helped them stay alive and not always on high alert or in the spotlight of being discovered. So because of all that, Mikey made the food, invited you to his home, let you meet his siblings, kept up the traditional family look, all for you. He didn't want anything to seem out of the normal. He wanted to be close to you.

An hour passes before Shinichiro wakes Emma up, telling her to head to bed. She gets up, looking over at you and Mikey peacefully asleep, saying a quiet "aww" before leaving to the hallway. You stir a little, shifting on his lap but falling asleep again. Mikey wakes up a while later, smiling when he sees you still sleeping. He grabs the tv remote, turning it on low volume to not disturb you.

In the morning, you start to wake up, stretching and opening your eyes. When you realize you were asleep on Mikey, you quickly sit up. "Sorry," you say shyly. "It's ok," he smiles.

There was a moment of silence, then a loud boom of thunder, making your breath hitch and flinch against Mikey. His hand was still on your waist, and he tightened it, pulling you closer, concern written all over his face. "What's wrong?" You let out a breath, glancing at him before turning your head again. "I-um, I'm not that fond of storms," you laugh nervously. "May I ask why?" his voice soft and sincere.

You think for a moment, looking down at your fingers as you fidget with them. "My friend, who is traveling, she had a sister, and she died," your voice gets quiet as you speak, "It was a storm. Her sister was home, and their house got super messed up. After the storm, the house was unrecognizable. She died inside. I've hated storms since then."

Your heart breaks at the memory. You think about what happened, the details you were leaving out. All the feelings you had that day, threatening to return. "I'm sorry. That really sucks," Mikey says. "That's why my friend is traveling right now. Her sister always wanted to go out and see other places. To honor her, they've been traveling all over the galaxy," you finish.

Neither of you speaks for a moment. Mikey keeps his arm around you, unconsciously circling his thumb on your arm to comfort you. You shake your head, snapping out of the memories and looking up at Mikey. "So, how'd you meet Draken? You guys seem close." It was a topic you'd been wondering about but never asked, and now seemed like a good time to change the subject.

"Oh, well, we met a few years ago. I saved Draken's life, and we been together ever since," he smiles. "Really? What happened?" you ask, the change in topic already taking your mind off everything. "Let's say he got mixed in the wrong crowd. He almost got shot, but I took the blow," Mikey sits up straighter, his arm now on the back of the couch, his hand leaning over your shoulder, lightly playing with your hair.

"Did it scar?" you ask. Mikey sits up, lifting his shirt, showing a scar near his heart. You unconsciously reach your hand out, tracing it over the skin. It's rougher than the rest of his skin, darker, and looks like his skin was trying to stretch and heal but instead making a weird scar. You look up, pulling your hand away, feeling embarrassed. "Sorry," you say. Mikey smiles, looking at you but not saying anything.

You and Mikey continue talking, you a little more about his brother and parents. "I don't have many memories with them. It happened so long ago, and so much has happened since then, so I'm not really phased by it anymore. Can't miss what I don't remember, ya know?" His parents had left them six years ago. Mikey, now being 18, Shinichiro 20, and Emma only 7, Shinichiro was the only one who really remembered anything. Even when they were around, they were always gone.

Later in the day, when the storm cleared, Mikey agreed to take you home. Him, and Emma of crouse. You agreed and walked with them toward your home, which was only about a 5-minute walk. You talk to Emma about your family and life, only telling her the good stuff. When you get closer to your house, a part of you hoped your family wasn't home, but they were.

When you get closer, your brother opens the door. "Where've you been," he looks at the people next to you, "Who're they?" You all walk up closer, standing in the doorway. "This' Mikey, from my school. And his sister Emma. I stayed at their house last night cause of the storm. They wanted to walk me home," you tell him. Yuki gives you a knowing nod and steps to the side, "You guys should stay for dinner." You look up at him, your eyes widening, surprised at him, but you whip the look from your face and nod in agreeance when Mikey accepts the invitation. You step inside the house with Mikey and Emma following.

They walk with you as you head to your room. You push the door open, letting the two walkthrough. "There are two beds. You share this room?" Mikey asks, referring to the two beds facing each other on opposite sides of the wall. "Yeah. There aren't many rooms here, so Yuki and I share, and my sister, Kori, shares with-" you pause, "She's the oldest, so she has her own room." Mikey looks confused but lets it go, walking over and sitting on the one he could guess was yours, Emma following.

You excuse yourself, telling them you're going to tell your mom they're staying. When you leave, Yuki walks to you in the hallway. "So, who's this guy?" He asks. "Just a partner from school, why?" you ask.

He gives you a sarcastic look. "Do you really need to ask that? You know why," he sighs, "It's just, not like you, anymore." He scans your face for any sign he could read, but he gets none. "He's my partner. It wasn't my plan to stay with him so long. Plus, you're the one who invited him in. Why the change in heart?"

"I know. I know, I'm sorry. I only want to make sure you're ok. This guy, of all people, he's weird. He gets into fights a lot and will disappear from school for days at a time. I don't want anything to happen," his voice gets barely above a whisper, almost like he doesn't want you to hear what he says next, "You just got better. Anything could be a setback. Especially if you get close with him."

You sigh. "I'm fine, Yuki. It's ok." You move your gaze up at him but quickly avert it. "I'm gonna go talk to mom," you say. You walk past him toward the kitchen to your mom, who's cooking dinner. Yuki loves you, and he only wants to look out for you.

Meanwhile, in your room, Kori went to talk to Mikey. "I'm Kori. So, you're her partner, right? You guys dating or something?" she leans on the door, arms crossed. "Nope. Only friends," Mikey says. "No offense or anything, but Y/n is, how do I say this, well she's different. What I mean is, if you plan on being friends with her, you need to stick close. You need to really stay by her side." Kori uncrosses her arms and steps further into the room as she talks.

"Well, yeah. I plan on being a friend. What do you mean, though? What happened?" Mikey asks, his face turning concerned. Kori sighs, turning to the door and closing it before stepping further into the room. "She'd kill me if she knew I was telling you about this, but I'm guessing she told you about the whole storm thing," Mikey nods, "Well, that's not all. There's a little more to the story."

Masterlist

Thanks for reading!!! Let me know if you want to be tagged in the upcoming chapters

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angellesword · 4 years

Text

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK | 15 (FINAL)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 4k

SERIES: CHAPTER 14 | SPECIAL CHAPTER

"You sure you don't need anything?"

You weren't sure if it was annoyance or amusement that caused you to chuckle upon hearing hesitation in your father's voice.

"I'm good, Appa." You assured him, "it's just Jeongguk. Don't worry."

You were wrong. He wasn't worried because of Jeongguk. He was worried because of you.

"Okay," your father let out a deep sigh as he tried to calm his mind. "I trust your soulmate. Have fun, love."

And just like that, the call ended.

Soulmate.

After everything that had happened, your father still believed that Jeongguk was your soulmate.

You still did too. How could you deny that fact when you could clearly see colors now?

It had been four months since your eye surgery. You didn't think it was going to be a successful, mainly because you were convinced that Jeongguk's hatred towards you was the reason why you went blind.

Apparently, it was your fault.

You knew it was reckless to drive when you were under the influence of alcohol. This wasn't just about you. This was also about the people who could have suffered because of your stupidity.

Your father was actually disappointed in you. He didn't expect you to do something like this, especially because he knew that you had a careful approach in life.

You hated being a burden. Your greatest fear was to be the reason why someone was hurting. Your father didn't understand what ticked you to break out of character, and so he asked. He asked what was wrong—causing you to break into tears.

You couldn't keep this to yourself anymore.

You told him about everything you had been going through—like how your soulmate didn't love you and how stressful being a lawyer was.

Of course your father understood, but he told you that it wasn't an excuse to put yourself and other people in danger.

There were other ways to welcome or ignore pain. You agreed since it wasn't like you planned this to happen.

Your father didn't believe in you, though. He felt like you were trying to harm yourself. This was why he called you every single day. He wanted to make sure that you weren't driving or doing things you weren't supposed to do.

He freaked out when you told him that you were going out with Jeongguk tonight. It wasn't because he hated your soulmate. Admittedly, he felt like you were lying when you told him that Jeongguk didn't love you.

That can't be right. It was obvious. Your father had met your soulmate and he saw the way Jeongguk looked and talked about you. He couldn't be wrong; the boy destined to be with you was whipped—as in madly in love with you.

His claim turned out to be true when right after your surgery; you gasped and cried so hard because finally, you could see colors.

It was too good to be true. Was this seriously happening? Was Jeongguk really in love with you?

You couldn't tell.

You used to think that seeing colors was the indication of your soulmate's love for you, but it had been months now yet Jeongguk hadn't verbally told you that he loved you.

Sure. Actions spoke louder than words. You guessed you just had to be contented with this.

The past four months felt like a dream. Jeon Jeongguk, the most stubborn and egotistical person in the world, was acting like a lovesick fool because of you.

You told yourself that you did not want to love your soulmate. You stood by this. You had been ignoring Jeongguk's attempt to 'win you over.'

(Un)fortunately, the boy just wouldn't stop.

He would send you letters written in a small sticky note every day just to tell you the sappiest thing. On the other side of the sticky note, there's an exquisite drawing of every detail about you.

You realized that it was some sort of puzzle, but you hadn't really had the chance to piece it together because you were too caught up with the words written in the sticky notes.

Note 1 Red Red is the first color in the rainbow. She is my first love, but it ended. I'm saying this because I realized that the start isn't always the end. She’s the beginning, you are my end game.

This was the first note you had received from your soulmate. It was plastered on your front door—this was also the first thing you had seen after you had been discharged from the hospital.

Note 2 Orange Orange is the color I thought I know by heart. As it turns out, I've been fooled. I have been fooled by the world, but it's okay. You helped me see.

This note was unclear to you, yet it didn't fail to make your heart feel light. You weren't aware that Jeongguk was talking about how the florist who sold him orange tulips for almost a decade, the one who fooled him.

No one could take advantage of him now, though. You helped him with this problem.

Note 3 Yellow My mom said that yellow is the prettiest color. She also said that it shines the brightest. I'm glad I didn't believe her. It wasn't bright at all. It only reminds me of the time I thought I'll lose you.

It took you long to realize what he was implying.

Yellow.

This was the color of your shirt when your car crashed. Jeongguk remembered how dark life was when you were pushing him away.

Your soulmate had sent you hundreds of letters by now. All of his notes started with colors. Out of all the things he sent you, the yellow note was what stuck to you the most.

The black world was frightening. It felt cold and lonely and Jeongguk was exactly like that. He was lonely. He suffered from a major heartbreak that was why he turned cold. He hated what Red had done to him, but he wasn't really different from his ex-girlfriend.

Jeongguk hurt you the same way Red hurt him, but your soulmate was willing to do everything to make it up to you.

Aside from the notes, you also found out that Jeongguk was the one who cooked your food each day. You got mad at Red because she failed to tell you the truth. There was even a point wherein you stopped eating the food your soulmate had prepared since you literally didn't want to do anything with him anymore.

Jeongguk was still persistent. He would always pick you up from work and then he would ask if you wanted to grab dinner with him.

You always declined his offer to take you out. Turning him down was always part of your daily routine, so you didn't know what changed this Saturday night.

Why, after four months, did you finally accept Jeongguk’s attempt to ask you out?

"Can't resist his bambi eyes, can you?" Jimin laughed on the other line. Your best friend called right after your short phone conversation with your dad. It was like everyone was interested in your business tonight.

"It's just one date, Jimin," you rolled your eyes, yet the blush in your cheeks indicated that Jimin was right.

You still couldn't resist Jeon Jeongguk.

It wasn't like you were giving into him. No. It would take more than his wide, doe eyes to melt your cold, cold heart. He hurt you after all.

But last night was different.

You were supposed to have dinner with your subordinates since it was Friday, but then you spotted Jeongguk waiting outside the building of your small law firm.

He was standing there with trembling lips. Your soulmate was freezing under the cold winter, yet he still chose to wait for you.

You see, Jeon Jeongguk was banned from entering your office. You told the securities not to let him in since he was distracting everyone at work.

Your employees just couldn't stop gushing over your soulmate to the point that they weren't able to finish their task for the day. They were always trying to get Jeongguk's attention and the most annoying part was that your soulmate didn't seem to mind—not because he was a flirt too. It was actually because he was too naïve for his own good.

So yeah. You banned him from entering the building because he was a distraction and definitely not because you were blinded by your stupid jealousy. No. Not at all.

He was your soulmate, yes, but it didn't mean you had to stay together. The only thing you two should do was to try to be casual and not hate each other.

You couldn't afford to make Jeongguk hate you. This was the only rational reason why you agreed to go out on a date with him tonight. You were just scared and guilty for letting him wait for you in the snow.

"Whatever you say," you could imagine Jimin's teasing expression despite not seeing his face. "Have fun, okay? Love you!"

"Ditto! See you soon," you pressed the end bottom of your phone as your doorbell rang.

Seven pm. You bit your lower lip, glancing at the clock. Jeongguk was right on time. He told you last night that he would be outside of your door at exactly seven in the evening.

You sighed and fixed your hair a little before opening the door.

Jeongguk practiced speaking the things he would say to you tonight in front of the mirror. He swore he prepared so hard because he didn't want to disappoint you. He felt like this was his only shot with you, unfortunately it seemed like he was destined to fuck things up with you again.

"Oh fuck," his eyes dilated upon seeing you.

You were wearing this pretty dress that accentuated your curves. You looked so expensive and exquisite that Jeongguk felt like he was out of place.

Your soulmate was wearing a thick sweater and black sweatpants. His hair was messier because of the winter wind.

"You're not dressed." This was the first thing you said to him. The scowl on your face made him think that you already regretted agreeing to spend this night with him.

He was wrong. You were only frowning because you felt embarrassed. You took your sweet time preparing for this date. You even rushed to buy a fancy dress just this morning, causing you to feel like a fool.

It was clear now that you were more excited than the man who practically begged you to go out with him.

"I-I just thought it'd be better to stay home because of the weather." The boy said sheepishly while showing you the home cooked food he had prepared for this date.

You swallowed hard.

"Come in." And then you opened the door wider for him.

Jeongguk let out a sigh of relief. At least you did not kick him out. He wouldn't know what to do if that happened. He missed your home so much. He missed Miri as well. Too bad the fury pet wasn't around.

Miri visited the Kims' mansion every Saturday. Red picked the cat earlier this day. She said Miri was the only one that could make Soobin smile. Red and Seokjin, the newlywed couple, were only allowed to visit Soobin every Saturday. They always take the little boy to a nice place with your cat Miri.

Jeongguk realized that it was a blessing in disguise that the cat wasn't around since no one was scratching the couch where you and him currently sat on.

Jeongguk's idea for this date night was to simply watch some movies while eating. He thought that this was the perfect plan, sadly it looked like you didn't share the same sentiment.

"Jeongguk," irritation was laced in your voice as you called your soulmate's name.

You were irritated for the reason that you felt like he didn't really want to be here.

Jeongguk seemed preoccupied. It was apparent when you asked him what film he wanted to watch. He simply said 'whatever you want," while staring at you blankly.

You let it pass at first, but you couldn't ignore it now that the movie had ended and it appeared like he didn't even realize.

Jeongguk was silent beside you, but he couldn't sit without fidgeting. The air was awkward. He looked awkward, like he was uncomfortable or something. He wasn't even eating his food.

"Did you like the movie? Were you scared?"

"Uh," Jeongguk was staring again. "I'm...yeah. It's pretty scary,"

"Oh." You narrowed your eyes at him. "I didn't know you were afraid of zombies."

"Yeah. I am," he wasn’t and you knew it.

You huffed, crossing your arms. He was such a liar.

"The movie that we just watched," you gritted your teeth. "Isn't about zombies, Jeongguk. It's not even a horror film. It's Toy Story 4!"

You were annoyed. Why did Jeongguk even ask to be with you when he wasn’t going to pay attention to you or to the things the two of you were supposed to do?

"I'm sorry..."

And there's it again. The insincere apology. He was always sorry, but he never changed.

"You know what? Just go home. I..." You trailed off as tears filled your eyes.

Why did you always have to make a fool of yourself because of him?

"I don't want you here."

Jeongguk's heart sank upon hearing the words that left your mouth.

"No please," he also turned pale, eyes turning wide because he wasn't expecting this date to turn out like this. What he wanted to happen was to enjoy the winter night cuddled with you as the two of you watched a romantic movie.

Jeongguk imagined watching Love 911 to give you an idea of some of the things he wanted to try with you.

"What do you mean no? It's obvious that you don't want to be here. You're not even paying attention."

"It's not like that," he avoided your gaze.

You only scoffed. Typical Jeongguk. Always telling you that you didn't get him.

"Then what is it? Why do you look uncomfortable? Why do you look like you don't want to be here—"

"I told you it's not like that!" He was staring at you using those big eyes. His thin beckoning lips protruded into a pout.

"I just!" He sighed like he found it hard to explain what he felt. "Can't concentrate on other things because all I can think about is you!”

"What—"

He didn't let you finish. Jeongguk was rambling. He was nervous. He didn't want you to get mad at him again.

"Your dress really looks so good on you and your make up is really nice. You're really pretty...and really beautiful and really sexy and I really just...really—"

"Huh." you pouted, slightly cringing because of his excessive use of the word really. "So now you're blaming the way I look?"

You were teasing him to get rid of the funny feeling in your stomach. Damn Jeongguk for confusing the hell out of you. You were supposed to be annoyed, but why were you smiling?

And why the hell was it so easy to melt into him?

"No!" Jeongguk groaned. He was getting frustrated. You seemed to always twist his words and extrapolate things.

"Look..." He closed his eyes since he couldn't bear to look at you anymore. He was scared to see the disappointment in your eyes.

"I just love you okay? Like really, really, in love with you."

Jeongguk's heartbeat doubled when you didn't speak.

Silence engulfed the whole room that he was forced to open his eyes.

His heart went even crazier. It was beating erratically.

Why were you staring at him with an agape mouth?

"What did you say?" You were no longer in the mood to fool around. Sure, you were teasing Jeongguk, but it didn't mean he could also joke about feelings and love.

It wasn't fair.

"I love you?" Jeongguk said, unsure.

He wasn't unsure of his feelings. He just didn't know if you were referring to the last words he uttered.

"You...love me?" You were still in doubt.

Jeongguk simply nodded his head; a soft smile was plastered on his lips as he scrunched his nose. You knew this look well. This was his genuine self and it only meant one thing.

He wasn't lying.

"But..." you bit the inside of your cheek. "This is the first time you told me that."

"I thought it's obvious?" Jeongguk mirrored your confused expression.

He expressed what he felt for you by singing. Jeongguk thought you understood.

You did not. The song lifted your spirit and you also found the gesture sweet, but you still didn't realize it was his way of confessing.

"I mean..." Jeongguk pouted his lips more. "Your eyes tell, right? You can see colors now."

As soon as these words escaped his mouth, Jeongguk felt like he had been hit by a truck—crushing his bones and telling him how stupid he was for crossing the street even though there were signs that told him to stop.

Signs.

The signs had been there all along.

"You love me..." Jeongguk blurted out. His realization was too sudden that he couldn't help but a cry a little.

You panicked as you asked him what was wrong.

"I wasted six months because of how stupid I am!" His answer was unclear.

"Gukkie," you put your hands on the either side of his shoulder, urging him to look at you. "You're not making sense. Speak slowly."

Jeongguk shook his head, tears still painting his cheeks. It was funny how the situation kept on turning around. Just a few breaths ago, you were the one who was on the verge of crying.

"I told you you didn't understand!" Jeongguk was still not making sense, but you decided to stay quiet and let him speak.

It looked like he needed an outlet for the reason that his emotions were overflowing.

"I left b'cause I thought...you...d-din't love me!" He sobbed and your heart cracked.

How could he think this way when all you had ever done was make him feel the love you felt for him?

Jeongguk's twisted expression told you that you had voiced out the question running inside your mind out loud.

"I called you delusional since I believed that you really are," he was bringing back the wounds that you were trying so hard to forget.

Still, you didn't stop him from speaking.

"H-How can you be sure you love me when I myself know that I am not worthy of your love?"

Jeongguk knew that he had always been mean to you. He hadn't done anything to make you fall in love with him that was why he was questioning your feelings.

It wasn't him whom you loved. It was the idea of him being your soulmate. You liked the thought that there was someone out there for you.

It made sense now, though. The fact that he could see colors brightly made him realize that your feelings were real, but it didn't mean he understood your reasons.

Jeongguk stood by his statement. He was unworthy of your love.

"You're not doubting yourself, Jeongguk." You shook your head at him, proving him otherwise. "You are doubting my feelings for you."

This wasn't about Jeongguk's beliefs. This was about you. You grew up thinking that when you felt like everything was collapsing, your only choice was to trust what you feel was right. It's because at the end of the day, you were going to be the one to face the consequence of your actions—not your parents, not your friends, and not even your soulmate. They would be affected by your decisions, yes, but only indirectly.

They could make their own choices that would directly affect their lives even if their choice was based on your decision. People would end up having different results even though they walked on the same path.

"But why me?" Jeongguk sounded broken as he asked this. It hurt you to think that he really thought so lowly of himself.

He couldn't be blamed. He loved Red before; however, it was still not enough. He had moved on from her, but it didn't mean that all the scars would fade away.

His first breakup up caused him to think that despite giving your one hundred percent, it would still be lacking for some people.

But you weren't some people.

You were you and you had your reason.

"Sometimes you don't need a reason to love someone." Your reason was not having a reason at all.

Your soulmate wasn't sure if he agreed to what you said.

Jeongguk didn't believe that just because things existed, it was already valid. Validation cannot be valid if one would not give enough reasons to prove why it's worth validating.

This was the reason why Jeongguk was questioning the love you claimed you felt. He needed reasons. He was just a human after all—always in need of affection and reassurance.

"I mean...I tried thinking of a reason why I shouldn't love you, but I just can't find any." Your confession made Jeongguk blush.

You had always been straight forward.

The way you loved was the opposite of how your soulmate loved. This was probably the explanation why it took him long to admit his feelings for you.

As stated, Jeongguk was in constant need of reason. His drawings of you were his proof of the love he felt.

"If you can't find any reason, then just allow me to tell you the million reasons why I love you."

He didn't wait for your answer. Jeongguk simply moved closer to you. His face was just inches away from yours.

"You're smart." And then he kissed your forehead.

You weren't only a book smart. You were emotionally intelligent. You had taught Jeongguk a lot of things, especially when it came to forgiveness and compassion.

"You're brave." He kissed you left eye.

He remembered the night you told him you liked him. It was in front of many people. You didn't hesitate even when he was running away.

"You're patient and understanding," he kissed your right eye.

You tried to understand Jeongguk's annoying attitude.

"You work hard in all aspects." He kissed your nose.

"You're beautiful," he kissed your left cheek.

You really were. Inside and out.

"It's you,"

Jeongguk didn't know if he could love someone who wasn't you.

"Most importantly, I love you because you are my soulmate." And then he kissed you on the lips.

You laughed in between the kiss, but you didn't stop kissing him back.

Did you forgive him?

The answer was yes.

Were you ready to love him again?

Perhaps.

Were you still hurt by his actions before?

Yes.

Did you want to be with him?

Yes.

There were many questions flooding your mind right now. Some of your answers might not be the truth, maybe you were just too happy right now—caught up in the moment because you were in Jeongguk's arms again.

But it didn't matter now because one thing was sure.

You were willing to love Jeon Jeongguk again because you didn't want to repeat his mistake.

You didn't want to lose your soulmate just because of hatred and denial.

Things were clear now.

Jeon Jeongguk loved you and the world was no longer black and white.

BONUS: (a poem made by young OC that made her realize why she should trust her own feelings)

holy. after 6 weeks???? i’m finally done writing this baby. wow. thank you thank you everyone for reading this—especially those people who never failed to send me feedback. i love you all!

New fic alert! READ HERE >> SAVE ME - Demon!Taehyung x Doctor!Reader

YES. I LIKE USING BTS’ songs as the title of my fanfics. 😅

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coldtomyflash · 2 years

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I'm sorry to bother you, but I had to ask once I found out about the earlier soulmate idea for These Violent Delights! (Your soulmate system is maybe the best I've ever read, if not at least in my top two)

With the way you ended up writing TVD (incredible btw), how would your decisions effect/change the idea of a soulmate spin to the story? (I hope I worded my question properly!)

From what I read, what you had planned wound up a good bit different. So I was just wondering if you thought that would inspire changes to the thoughts you had about the soulmate tie in?

Much curious!

Hope you're doing well in all the madness of the world <3

What a lovely question :) Oddly enough I was actually thinking about this just the other day for some reason so the answer I have for you is top of mind and a bit long ^^;

The full history of These Violent Delights is that I wondered what it might be like to turn one of my fics into an original story and then things spiralled. I was specifically making notes on what AATJS might look like as an original, and my instinct was basically that to "file off the serial numbers" of fanfic for that piece, I'd keep the soulmates element but ditch the superpowers.

Actually to go back further, an even earlier idea i'd had with VP -- who wrote the amazing Zombie au -- was a co-written collaboration that would have both superpowers and soulmates in an original story, but it became unwieldy with all those separate worldbuilding elements into it.

as she moved on to other things and i stuck around longer in coldflash and dipped my toe into other original ideas, i ended up mentally splitting that concept in two:

a no-powers yes-soulmate story which later became These Violent Delights, and

a yes-powers no-soulmate story which has since turned into my original novel i'm working on at a snail's pace called Rest for the Wicked (also the chapters of that i posted are out of date since i've revised and changed them since then whoops).

Anyway, for the original concept of These Violent Delights...

In the first mental draft of that no-powers soulmate story, I kept most people's roles/relationships to each other similar (barry being a CSI, joe being a cop, iris being barry's pseudo-adoptive sister, len being a criminal, etc), took out superpowers, and made Grodd (from his role in AATJS) into a serial killer, and Eiling/the military into the FBI being called in on this local serial killer case.

Then someone dropped into my inbox to ask about a no powers / pre-lightning AU, and it basically gave me a chance to flesh that out.

And then someone asked about what it would be like with no soulmates and I thought that was fascinating! Because soulmates is convenient and a narrative shortcut, and how unhinged would it make that opening scene if there was no soulmate bond and yet these two people still responded to one another the same way??

i love unhinged dynamics more than i was willing to admit at the time, and it was a perfect excuse to write that dynamic in a way that was a bit more fun for me, i've i'm being honest. because without that easy narrative push from the bond, how do i play their attraction? can i effectively sell that they are drawn to each other enough to make all these terrible decisions, with no obligation or bond keeping them connected and bound to this?

(And my tags on the third ask about this seem to imply I was writing a len/savitar AU at the time and rolled my ideas for that into this fic, and I don't even remember that lmao. i think it had savitar stripped of the speedforce and working at a bar?)

But to your question of how the original "yes soulmates" version went?

Basically playing out like a no-powers AATJS. Barry the unsuspecting CSI stumbles on to the big bad criminal Leonard Snart and they bond and Barry fucking bolts and he's fast and Len can't catch up after killing his hired hands to protect Barry and Barry's identity.

(also sidebar but although that didn't happen in the final version of These Violent Delights, there is a scene later in Rest for the Wicked where the villain shoots two people for the hero once there's this identity reveal thing, so i guess i'm wedded to that mental image and the ensuing shock and horror on behalf of the hero? RftW is all about unhinged people doing unhinged things in sexy horrifyingly violent ways and dealing with the consequences of what that looks like)

anyway, in this original soulmates version of TVD, Len then tracks Barry down and confronts him and we get another sort of 'swoon' scene where their bond and attraction draws barry to len and is super physically charged. and the story progresses in ways where their bond forces them together in ways that Barry isn't comfortable with because he's pretty sure this guy is a serial killer. meaning he's also busy hating himself for the fact that his soulmate is a serial killer, and as things unfold, especially with their age difference, barry becomes genuinely concerned that his soulmate might have been the one to kill his mother. #yikes

at the same time, despite his misgivings, he's trying to protect len from the FBI that have been called into town and those FBI agents are creating issues for barry at work and he's not a genius actor, they can sort of figure out something is up. i wasn't sure how i'd fold other things in, but without metahumans and superpowers, i wanted the soulmates thing to be more central and wanting the experimentation with their bonds to be more central, more foreshadowed and plot-driving. i was thinking the FBI (at least Eiling) would need to be corrupt and maybe know something, and for the serial killer (Grodd) to be a victim in some manner, and although i hadn't fleshed it out to this level, i think to make it good Eobard or Hunter would fit well here like he did in TVD as someone working alongside the FBI who is super sus because he's actually the one who's fucked up experiments they're covering.

tbh it would fit a bit better if i was doing a sort of CIA parallel with MK Ultra and their experimentation because the CIA are really the ones who have done a lot of that specific type fucked up shit in real life (not that the FBI is innocent!) and are more rife for conspiracy narratives. so thinking it through, maybe i'd have the Eobard/Hunter character as a CIA agent masquerading as an FBI agent (eiling would know this, it would be above board from the government standpoint but covert and 'need to know' because the CIA like to operate under the radar).

and he's there to clean up a former mess they made related to some unethical government experiments with soulmates, and he killed Barry's mother to clean up as well once shit went off the rails however many years ago, because she was either a research on these experiments (remember barry's parents were not soulmates, and the only people to work on this project would probably have been UnMarked), or else she wasn't a researcher but found out and Knew Too Much. and that's why they pinned it on barry's dad and locked him up before he could investigate and figure out who killed his wife and why (because he's also a medical doctor and would have been tangentially aware of his wife's research!).

you can also see the TVD / AATJS parallel come out a bit here with mercury labs and the role that Dr Tina McGee played in AATJS which ultimately was only brought in for one scene at the end (even though in my original notes, barry handing star labs to tina and mercury labs was intended from the start, the story just got too long and convoluted for me to build that into a more cohesive subplot).

in this converged version, Nora would have worked with Eobard(?) and Tina at mercury labs and that would be a bit more central to barry's experience as well. so you can sort of see how that translated into the final TVD version by way of the soil chemical analysis and the forensic evidence and ultimately interviewing Tina and finding out Hunter isn't who he says he is.

anyway i did not have all that figured out at the time but now i'm thinking that's how it would all have needed to together and makes the most sense. and i guess that all would put henry in some very real danger once Eobard/Hunter realizes just how much barry has been scratching at this secret, which fits with the stalking and cameras in TVD, and the developing obsession with barry (nora's son and all that creepiness still in effect from TVD).

and i guess i'd try to find some way in this version for len to help save henry or keep him safe in prison without barry having to ask him, and for barry to discover this and for this to be what wins him over ultimately into trusting len in a full sort of way, and len being this wild card that Eobard/Hunter cannot and does not anticipate as part of how and why barry is able to uncover so much more of the truth of what's going on, and helps connect him to Grodd who is maybe not like, super innocent, but has also been framed for shit he did not do and isn't the cunning cruel serial killer he has been purported to be.

so that's... idk if that's what my answer would be if you'd asked this question 3 years ago tbh, but it's a bit of history and a bit of perspective on the soulmates angle, and how little it would change the story ultimately, and how much closer to AATJS the original concept was.

Random Aside

as a random note, you can also see a bit of my writing process leaking through here. because i've spent literally the majority of my life thinking about writing and story structure, even from the time i was a young kid, i don't necessarily feel the need to think about every detail in advance, but i have sort of these ideas that form a skeleton of a story and a tone of a narrative and then i'm able to plug details in as i go, or translate the story whole-hog to a new setting and tone and change up the details but keep the structural elements the same. it gives me a lot of space to 'play' and to 'discover' the story as it unfolds, but the unconscious back of my mind has already crunched the numbers on a lot of details i haven't bothered (haven't needed to) think about in so conscious of terms, until asked to spell them out or put them on the page.

that trips me up too though, because if i have story beats largely figured out before i write it but then i consciously want to change it, it sometimes stalls me out. because my brain has figured out all these elements already and says "no, that's how we're writing it" and that part of my brain wins every time. the unconscious brain has 500,000x the computing power of the conscious mind, so when it makes a decision, it's hard to contradict it consciously without good reasoning it can then go and crunch new numbers on. in fact our conscious 'choices' are really the result of our unconscious minds having already made a choice, and then barely-perceptible moments later, our conscious minds become aware of that choice and provide us the sense that we are making this choice consciously and deliberately, when it actuality that sense is just our brain translating the decision for us and making us feel in control of our conscious actions.

anyway this is why Mighty Fine Predicament stalled out. i know the full story, or at least the story beats that made me start wanting to tell the narrative in the first place, but it's mostly all deeply problematic elements and especially some bad/terrible tropes stacked into a trenchcoat disguised as semi-excusable plot. and at the time i just wasn't sure if i wanted to post and deal with all that, but i thought if i started writing and posted chapter 1, i could nudge myself over to a tidier version of it as i went. but i couldn't get chapter 2 down because my brain said "no, you write it this way or you don't write it" and so i never wrote it.

#phyn vs. writing #redhead vs. writing #aatjs #these violent delights #everything i use the acronym TVD i think of the vampire diaries #and i don't even watch that show #soulmate aus #no powers au #aus

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