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#((Anatomy was hell- the pain was real here))
airi-p4 · 2 years
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Figure Skating Lukanette ❤️
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meanbossart · 3 months
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Oh boy, VaM is kind of a trial and error experience LOL I couldn't really show you how to use the interface and stuff without a whole video or something, but it's not THAT difficult to get a hang of if you just give yourself a day or two to play around, not to mention the number of tutorials you find out there. Luckily, if you only want to use it as a reference software that makes the process far easier (to this day I have no idea how to animate on that thing, since that's not what I use it for)
As for how I use it, it's pretty self explanatory - if there's a complicated pose I want to draw but I'm either having trouble with it, or just want to double-check angles/anatomy, I will use it as a resource! I use for most of my "proper" pieces (y'know, the nicer looking ones) and every once in a while for my silly comics if I'm having trouble with a pose.
Lets use this drawing for example (the character on top of DU drow belongs to @namespara )
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I don't draw a lot of mud-wrestling (shocking, I know) but I had an idea of the kind of pose I wanted them to be in. So the very first thing I did was make a rough sketch of what I was envisioning:
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I often do a rough sketch first, even If I know I'm going to be pulling the program up because A) It's less tedious than adjusting the models over and over again until I pick a pose and B) because sometimes I'll decide I don't need the reference, after all, and so that's 30 minutes I'll have spared myself of playing around on the software.
Now, this is a pretty complicated pose! It's in a weird angle and the bodies are making contact in ways I'm not used to depicting, so I did choose to whip out VaM for this one. I went into the program and after some messing around, I flopped my little dolls together like this:
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Now something really cool about VaM is that you can completely customize your models, and if you have the patience, I would definitely encourage you to do so! Obviously, you don't have to make picture perfect replicas of every single character you have, but as you can see here I have made a DU drow "decoy" to help me better understand some of his features when I draw him: he has a strong brow, a short nose, a square jawline - these are all going to look a very specific way from certain angles, and I might not always be sure of how to draw it right! So it's useful to have models that bear SOME semblance to the character so you can better understand how different viewpoints will affect their bone structure and mass.
Also thank fucking god for the elf-ear slider. Figuring out how to draw those shits from certain angles was a huge pain in the ass when I started drawing DnD races.
So, with the reference in hand, I go over the sketch again:
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Now you may notice that I don't stick to the reference 100%. There's three reasons for this:
posing on VaM is tedious as hell. You can get something incredibly natural looking and picture-perfect to reference from if you wish, but it's going to take you hours to do. So, for the most part I just slap guys together until the results are "close enough" and use that.
In my opinion, you should always aim to ENHANCE your reference material, not replicate it exactly!
While VaM is a PRETTY DANG GOOD source of anatomical reference, it isn't perfect, I often supplement it with further reference from real life resources or make tweaks based on my own knowledge where I catch it falling short (and, antithetical to what I just said, I sometimes fuck the anatomy up further on purpose if I think it looks better that way LOL it's all jazz baby).
Then lines, color, yada yada. I don't have a tutorial on that and I don't think I could make one, because my process is chaotic as hell, but I do at times use Virt-a-mate as loose reference for lighting too when coloring - waaaaayyyy less so however, because that process is even more tedious and I feel like I often get better results by just winging it. It is a feature of the program though, and I'm sure it would be helpful for someone who has a difficult time visualizing lights and shadows. I only started using this program a few months ago, so I happened to already have a pretty good understanding of that kind of thing and just don't personally feel like I get much out of that particular mechanic.
Here's a few other examples of pieces that I made reference for (WARNING: Suggestive)
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Now, for the question many of you may want to ask:
"Can I trace this junk?"
And to that, I say: Buddy, you can do whatever the hell you want with the reference material you created.
However,
If your goal is to learn and improve your art, and to recreate realistic proportions and anatomy from memory, tracing won't help you.
Developing your own style, your muscle memory, and personal technique will all be hindered by choosing to trace instead of drawing from observation, so I would encourage against it. Hell - even when tracing is employed as a technique, it's usually by high-skill realism & concept artists who are looking to either cut some corners, save time, or just double-check their own proportions in order to improve further - if you try tracing as a beginner, you will most definitely find the result to still look stiff and "off".
So trust me, there is so much more to be gained from drawing from observation. Make note of tangents, compare proportions, use all the elements of the picture to dictate where and how things should go - it will be a far more rewarding experience.
Hopefully this has been helpful! VaM is a really cheap program (you get it on the guys' patreon for I think 8 dollars, just google it!) and it's definitely been worth my money as an artist since I found it. Learning to use it can be a little intimidating at first glance, but as I said above you only really need a day plus one or two tutorials to get a hang of the interface.
A fair warning though, IT IS A SOFTWARE MADE FOR VIRTUAL SEX/ADULT ANIMATION So when looking it up expect to see a some spicy content.
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safination · 3 months
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Partners in Death...and Life.
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Part I: Radio's not dead
| Part 2: Radio Will Be Dead if He Doesn’t Explain Himself. | Masterlist| ao3 Pairings: Alastor x wife!reader Tags: fem! reader, established relationship, human!alastor, hopefully not but just in case ooc!alastor (I'm trying my best to keep him as canon as possible) acroace!alastor
"Alastor! Pleasure to meet you. Quite a pleasure!" One hand reset on his chest, and the other shoots into the air. You chuckle. "I don't think it will be quite the pleasure you think." "Is that so?" Alastor's smile remains constant. "And why would that be? You show him the tray you're holding "I'm here to do your sutures"
You pass the tissue box—the third one already.
Your patient blows his nose, rubbing snot off his snout. He has to stretch his arms to reach his nose. Alligators are known for their long snouts. His nostrils flare when he sniffles. Used tissue is discarded on the pastel-pink floor despite a pastel-pink trashcan stationed by his webbed feet. It’s been the same pattern for the last fifteen-minutes.
Tissue, Sneeze. Floor.
“—and I have this…uh…like this real bad itch on my eye. I keep rubbing and rubbing but it doesn’t do shit! My eyesight’s gotten worse—It’s already fucked up but this is just different. My roommate hissed at me about getting blood all-over the carpet floors if I kept scratching my scales. Oh. Oh! I’ve been snee—achew!” Alligator snot lands on the pastel-pink floors of the clinic.
Your eyes twitch.
He takes another tissue and waves it around his head. “The top of my head is killing me. Ya’know where that is right?” He blows his nose. “It’s right here,” he says, inching his head closer to you. “The last nurse I went to was blind as a bat! Literally, she had the wings and everything. It was kinda hot.”
“I’m well aware of the location of your head,” you say. “You can lean back now.”
Tissue. Sneeze. Floor
Tissue. Sneeze. Floor.
Tissue. Sneeze. Floor.
Pastel pink floor.
Underneath the mix of feathers and hair strands, the bustling of the waiting room catches your ear. Someone curses, booming and violent at another waiting patient. A cough, a sigh, a barf. Painful curses erupt after that. You bring a hand to your ears, wincing as your eardrum rings.
Pentagon City’s best and biggest hospital needs better doors, but those lazy sloth fuckers at the top invested at the first material they found. The alligator sneezes into another tissue. He flicks it with his wrist, and it hits the pastel-pink wallpaper adorned with closed eyes. Maybe Belphegor should be the sin of Pride instead, considering all items are covered in her symbol.
“I really feel like t’was those exterminators ya’know?”
You do not, in fact, know. Half of what this young man says is incomprehensible.
His snout sways left to right when he shakes his head. “It’s only my second one, and this was a close call, and uh…well, ever since then I’ve been like this. One even got to my roommate. “
You hum, leaning back on your chair. You should petition to for thicker doors. And while you’re at it, better interior design, and better paint—something that isn’t pastel pink.
“Ugh, and it’s so not cool that this new roommate of mine’s been shedding since the day they moved in,” he says.  “Speaking of shedding, do you think it’s because of those exterminators? Do you think they like spread some sort of weird pollen to make us sick? They’re totally the type to that.”
You take your pen—your pastel-fucking-pink pen—and poke his alligator sinuses.
Hell does have its own brand of humor. You gave your 20s to studying human anatomy, only to die and find yourself with the need to re-learn the boring part of biology.  (Two books on reptiles, four on mammals, and fifteen on sea creatures.)
“YEOWCH!” His teeth stick out again. You do not know what this means.  “What kind of nurse ar—“
“Doctor.”
“—you? That’s not the top of my head!”
You push back on of the feathers on your head. “Your roommate ‘hissed’ at you? And they’ve been shedding fur for two weeks now?"
“…Yeah…?”
You stare at him. “Have you ever considered that you’re allergic to your roommate?”
“Ooooooooooh,” he says. ‘Yeah, I was allergic to cats back when I was alive.”
You grab your (pastel-fucking-pink) prescription pad from the desk drawer. “Control it with some antihistamine. Four pills every 12 hours.”
His teeth start showing. You’re not sure if he’s frowning. It’s hard to tell. “Pills, really?”
You toss what you were writing into the massive pile of germs, mucus, and tissue. “I can give you a nasal spray. I’ll flush the mucus then insert a spray that prevents build-up,” you say. “They last for two weeks and then you’ll need to come back.”
He grabs the last tissue from the box. It still lands on your floor. “Ma’am nurse, do you have any more of this?”
You sigh and reach for a fourth box of tissue. “It’s doctor,” you say. “We keep nasal sprays here in the clinic. I’ll just grab one and you’ll be out in fifteen minutes.”
“No can do,” he says. “Before I died, my coach told me to stay away from that non-organic shit. It’ll mess us up real bad apparently. All those steroids.”
“You have phencyclidine sticking out of your coat pocket.”
“Pheny—what?”
“…Angel Dust.”
“The porn star?”
“The drug. You have drugs sticking out of your coat pocket.”
“Come on, nurse—”
Threads erupt from your fingers. It snakes around his wrist, coiling and twisting. He jerks his arm away and cries out when you tighten your hold. Your threads wrap around his legs. It pulls against his waist. Magic binds his arms, and tightens around every joint he owns. You stop, only when the alligator struggles, trashing against the clinic chair. 
His teeth bare and he snaps at whatever he can reach. You tug on one of the thousands of strings digging into his skin. His jaw snaps shut, and it will stay shut. Another tug and his back stretches to straighten. You move your fingers as if a piano laid before you, and he sits up like a good puppet.
Another month of clinic dury will be your punishment if those sloth from down below are lucid enough to do their jobs. Sadly, killing this idiot would have you suspended for three months.
“I am a doctor,” you tell him. “Do not make me repeat myself.”
The tension on your strings marks even the few scales scattered on his body. He’s a real idiot if he continues to struggle.
Delicate movements of your fingers bring him forward, his back still strained, and tilt his snout at a forty-five-degree angle. Your threads elongate as you move toward the clinic drawers. It loosens around you, careful at keeping you able to move freely. It’s one of the handier parts of your magic.
You shake your hands and the threads detach. It sticks to the floor to keep the alligator as your puppet. You scrub your hands thoroughly before taking the nasal spray and filling with with distilled water.
You place on nitrite gloves. It’s always best when dealing with bodily substances such as mucus. You place a pan underneath and jam the tube up his nostrils, hosing his sinuses with water. The tension of his binding keeps him still. (If you ignore his whining, then that’s your business. The brawl you heard from the waiting room drowned it all out anyway.) He starts breathing better when all the snot flushes to the pan.
“Finished,” you say with satisfaction. You grab your prescription pad and write one for a nasal spray. “I cleared the mucus buildup so you shouldn’t feel any more headaches. The spray will keep your nose clear for as long as you use it. Come back if you start to feel any discomfort. For the rashes just get cream.” You point at the pastel pink door. “The exit’s right there.”
The threads dissolve in the air. He rubs his wrist, trying to soothe the red marks that your strings bring. You hand him the signed prescription.
He doesn’t close the door on his way out.
The broom and dustpan are hidden in one of the taller cabinets—pastel-pink like everything else in the room.
(Well, not everything. The radio sitting on the corner of the counter gives a splash of red into the room.)
You sweep the tissues into the dustpan. Your control over your strings is much more proficient when living beings are involved. Inanimate objects whip around when you use your magic on them, and radios have been difficult to purchase recently. It’s more convenient to clean using your own hands.
“Tagatha,” you call out when the floor is clean. “You can bring in the next one in.”
Silence is your reply.
“Tagatha?”
Your ears quirk. The noises are faint—an occasional cough, silent weeping, and muted voices coming from the television. You peek out the door, eyeing the crowd formed around the corner of the hall where a pAstel-pInK television mounts on the wall.
The door closes with a faint click. You sink into the cushions of the office chair. Vox’s yapping bore you. It was probably some man-child debate about the new extermination date. Although… those serialized dramas he produces, sadly, are interesting enough to be consumed. If asked for your honest opinion, you’d tell them that they were a hot pile of smelly garbage, but you like to leave it playing mindlessly in the background.
Your husband will throw the television out the window the first chance he’ll get.
Too bad he’s occupied.
You grab a piece of paper from the drawer. Management is forcing you to write a thousand-word formal apology. There are about three-hundred words left to write.
Getting caught dissecting the dead bodies from the morgue is a mistake that won’t be repeated. One dead body and suddenly those lazy fuckers have diligence weaved into their DNA. The body was already dead, and it’s not every day a chance to poke around a chimera’s entrails appears. The sinner would contribute to something meaningful at least. You’re stuck on clinic duty until you dot your last sentence, and not a moment before
The coffee’s cold now, but consumable.
You reach across the desk, feeling for the knob of the radio. You twist until you feel the clink. Music fills the air—the same twenty-five songs on a loop. You stare at the radio for a moment.
Just… a small… single moment.
On your kitchen counter, that second cup of coffee should be cold by now. It’s always cold when you trudge through the door. It’s been cold and untouched for years.
Yet, without fail, that second cup you brew will always be waiting for its owner.
“Salutations!” You snap your head to the radio. “Good to be back on the air.”
…Huh? The feather on your hair bristle. You swipe the radio, your hold on it feather-light.  You turn the knob responsible for volume. The static noise stings your eardrums.
“—ile since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast. Sinners rejoice!”
Murmurs erupt outside your door. You blink and find yourself slamming it open. One foot after another, one step after the other, brings you closer to the television. Your shoulder throbs when you bump into someone, but you keep pushing until you see Vox and his tacky suit enlarged on the screen.
“What a dated voice!”
A reply comes from the radio. “Instead of a clout-chasin’ mediocre video podcast.”
Your feather rises higher. Laughter escapes your lips, it leaves a dry taste. That…that ṁ̵̭͔̲̙̦͎̝̜̲̠͙͇̂̏̃̐̂̓̊̂̕̕o̴̢̭̝̙̤̬͚͐̅͗̌̇̂̌̕ţ̷̛̝̂̿h̶̯̟̙̲̘̟̟͙͔̔̋͊̋̿̐͘͜͜ę̶̗̰͔̫͔̗̝̘̻̰̓̓̈̊͜r̵̨̂̏f̶͖̻̱̺͕̹̫̭̠̚u̸̬̺̯̟̦͖̅̂́́̌̚͝ć̴̖͙̰͈͕̉͌̈́́̈̔̀̉̍́͜͠ḳ̴̨̧̗̫̗͖̞̟̑͌̂̀̈́̀͆͒ę̷̛͓̼̟͍̆̆́͆̾͛͝r̵̹̮̤͓̗̹̈́̎̉͌̾͌̏͑̋̚͝.
“Doctor!” Tagatha screeches when she spots you. “I am so sorry. I’ll bring in the next one right away!”
Your eyes are trapped by the screen and your ears by the radio. “It’s alrig—”
Tagatha grabs the closest person to her and shoves you back into the clinic. The door slams shut just as everything goes dark and silent. (Well, it’s not completely dark, once your eyes adjust you can still see as if the lights were open. Another small perk to this body). Your radio, along with the power, stopped working.
“Oh my!” Your new patient bleats.
“We have generators,” you find yourself saying. “I’m sure the power will come on in a minute.”
The cushions of the chair do little to ease your nerves. You pat your hair, trying to get it in control. A pile of feathers starts forming on the PASTEL-FUCKING PINK FLOORS. T̴̹̜͇̅̅͗͜H̶̰̗̄Ơ̶̡̡̻̗͖̋̎̓̓S̴̨͉̝̻͋̽̆́͆Ẹ̸̡̢͐͐͠ ̷̨͚̞̙̀͒̆̆͊Ŭ̵͕̲̪͇͓͐̚G̷̹̝̦̬͊͒Ḷ̶̭͓̎̏̈͘Y̶͇̟̍̉̚ ̷̟͎͕̞͂͑̂̇À̶͉̍̄̈̚S̸͖̖͕͑̏͛̈́S̶͚̤̼̯̀ ̶̻͆P̷̬̝̉Ä̵͕́͊̌S̸̢͍̆̓͝Ṫ̸͖̲̠̾̉͜͝E̷̺͆L̷͖̏͐́͝ ̶̛̟̽͝P̷̪̔͜I̴̹̥̹͖̮͒́̏͘N̸̳̙̼̾̆̿Ķ̶̟̞̜̉͊̓̂̚ ̵͈̬̃̿̄̈́̋F̵̨̨̼̫̘͘L̸̙̠͎̓̆́O̷̧̘͚͉̤̓O̷̤̟̱̼̤͋̍͐R̷̰̝̓͌̌Ș̵̲̝̈́ "Excuse me?” You will paint this room red with the blood of management. You tap your foot again, and again, and again. “…Doctor?”
Your neck snaps in her direction, eyes wide and staring.
“The… uh… the lights are back.”
You blink at your patient—huh, she’s a goat. “I apologize,” you say, smiling. “Please, tell me, what brings you here in this hellish afternoon.”
She holds up her bleeding arm. “It’s been like this since the extermination,” she explains. “Some angle got me. Luckily, I was able to run off before I was finished. I thought it would heal on its own like it usually does but it just hasn’t. It keeps bleeding.”
“Well, angel-induced injuries are my specialty,” you say. Tucked away to the side, a mirror hangs. You catch your reflection, and you blow your hair away from your vision, your red sclerae “This will cost you. Injuries caused by angels are…difficult to stitch, but not impossible—not for me at least.”
“Oh, yes.” She bleats one more “Dear God, where are my manners? I’m sorry can I ask for your name?”
Your smile widens. “Of course. I’m—"
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
“Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you. Quite a pleasure!” One hand reset on his chest, and the other shoots into the air. It’s the bow you did in high school, back when you wanted theater to pay your bills. A performer’s bow.
You chuckle. “I don’t think it will be quite the pleasure you think.”
“Is that so?” Alastor’s smile remains constant. “And why would that be?”
You show him the tray you’re holding. “I’m here to do your sutures.” He steps closer to take a peek. You watch him as his eyes gloss over your matches then your needle driver, then the alcohol lamp. His smile wobbles when he lands on the syringe.
You move the tray, dropping it down on the little cart by the examination chair.
“There’s no need to worry.” You beam at him. “I have the steadiest hands in this city.”
“Hmmmm,” he says. “You must be the other doctor then.”
“Not at all.” You point to your uniform, where the initial ‘NP’ is embroidered next to your name. “Just the nurse practitioner.”
He takes a closer look and reads your name. “Then I have no reason to fret. None at all! In my experience, doctors usually have their noses buried in their books. It’s the nurses that actually get the hands-on experience.” Alastor’s hands move when he talks. “What’s such a talented practitioner doing in such a dinged-up clinic?”
“Management caught me in the morgue dissecting the dead—It’s how I practice my stitches.”
“Really, now?”
You bark a laugh. “Not at all—I’m far too smart to get caught.”
“A witty sense of humor and a steady hand! I am in good hands, indeed.”
You take a seat on the rolling stool. “Yes, yes,” you say, waving your wrist. “You make fine compliments, Sir. I’ll be sure to be extra gentle.” You point towards the examination chair. “But, please hurry to the chair. You’re dripping blood on my floor.”
Alastor glances down. His eyebrows furrow as he glares at where the blood seeps from his sleeve … almost… almost as if he’s angry. “My apologies,” he says, allowing his blood to drip to the floor.
Alastor shrugs off his coat. It’s rare to see such a dark red—only a few choose such a color. You hum. Alastor is a well-dressed gentleman. Lovely. Those are your favorite kind. He drapes his coat over the spare chair, ignoring the coat racks the clinic provides.
You turn away and wheel yourself closer to one of the drawers on the counter. It takes two attempts until you find the stash of sterile gloves. “Take your seat when you’re ready,” you say. “I’ll take a look once you are.” You place the gloves on the little green cart, right next to your tray.
Alastor takes his seat, landing with an audible ‘humph’. He smiles at you, sleeves rolled and arm ready. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
You hold your palm out. “May I?”
His smile wobbles—it’s a small change in expression that you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t looking. “Of course.”
Along his forearm, a long and sharp cut wounds him. The sight of grime that covers the opened abrasions makes you inwardly cringe. You need to clean these as soon as possible. “Why was this not checked sooner?” You rest his hands on the armrest and use your foot to bring the cart closer. “This looks old, and not at all like a freshly deep cut. I prefer it when patients come to me with fresh wounds.”
You grab a bowl with distilled water and pour in a sterile solution. “I assumed it would heal on its own,” he tells you. “It was quite a surprise when it did not.”
“I need to clean this before you die of infection.” You dip his arm into the bowl. He remains silent, but you feel the tension of his muscles under your fingers. “Hopefully there will be no next time, but just in case, next time, please don’t wait a month.”
He laughs, and there, you faintly see it—a twitch in his eye. “It was only a week actually.”
You smile to yourself. “I’d prefer it if it was only a few hours.” You dry his arm with a soft towel, his arm still tensed underneath your touch. “There, much better.”  You release your hold to go to a shelf filled with different labeled vials and select the one you need. With the clean syringe, you draw the contents of the vial. “You’ll feel a bit of a pinch,” you say. You tap its side. “It’s morphine— wouldn’t want you screaming and writhing”
You study his face for a second. There’s just that same dismissively polite smile.
“You can look away if you wish,” you tell him. “It’s why we pin such…er…interesting decorations around…. May I?”
You feel it again when Alastor inches his arm closer. His muscles tense under your touch. It’s almost as if he wishes to pull away. You keep your hold feather-light, but firm.
“Are you a hunter by any chance?” you ask. You don’t prick him—not yet. Not when tension coils in your hold.
“You could describe it that way,” he says, chuckling like he’s told a humorous joke. (You don’t understand why.)
“I figured you were.”
Alastor slides his glasses up the bridge of his nose. You inject the morphine into his skin, right inside the soft pink tissue. Good. Alastor relaxes when he speaks, it seems. “I do love a good hunt,” he says. “How ever did you know.”
You release your hold and discard the syringe. “Your hands are rough,” you tell him. “And hunters always have this silly notion that injuries magically heal given enough time—along with farmers, actually. Although, farmers are usually much more deluded.”
He flashes that same polite smile. “I'm guessing you’re not a hunter then?”
“How ever did you know?”
You watch his eyes flicker to your palms as you re-arrange the needles. “Delicate hands.”
You flash the same polite smile right back at him. You take a match, and light the alcohol lamp.
Soap spreads all over your palms and up your arm as you scrub your hands. You slip your hands into the sterilized gloves, careful not to contaminate the surface. “I’ll begin now.”
Alastor hums in reply.
You take a scapple and pass it over the flame. You poke him, lightly, but he doesn’t react. Satisfied, you cut back fibrous tissue underneath the skin. You replace the scapple with a needle driver. There was a quiet click when you pinch the tiny curved needle. You pass it over the flame as well. “Can you do me a favor? Can you tell me how many stars are on that wall over there?
Alastor turns to look at you, but you block his eyes with your palm, shielding him from your stiches.
“The wall isn’t over here.”
“I assure you, I’m not afraid of a silly needle.”
“I’m sure you are,” you say. “However, you’ll forgive me if I don’t take your word for it. The last three people who said that took one look and started squirming. One even fainted. It makes your life miserable, and my job harder.
He counts.
“Out loud please.”
He does as he’s told, rather reluctantly.
Hands steady and determination set, you pierce the soft pink tissue with your needle The tissue nearest to the surface is always delicate. You’re certain not to catch any fat in your suture, for fat dies, and a loose stitch is useless. “Well, isn’t this fun!” he says. “I really feel nothing.”
Your concentration does not break. “I don’t remember there only being twenty-six stars. I’m positive there are more.”
“Why is someone as talented as you only a nurse practitioner?”
“There’s nothing wrong with being a nurse…,” you reply, tugging on the needle. “Well…we…. We certainly could be paid more.”
“Why not become an actual doctor then?”
“My father couldn’t afford it. He wouldn’t send me….and…hm…” You smoothly pull the suture thread and begin the next stitch. “And I enjoy this.”
He looks down at you. “Is this all you’ll be satisfied with?”
You focus back on your stitching, hiding your glare. You bring your needle underneath the flesh, making sure to catch the soft tissue. You’re doing an uncommon stitch, but it would be a shame to leave a scar. “You sound familiar.”
You pause to look at him, His smile brightens, and it actually looks like a genuine elated smile. “Why, I’m a radio broadcaster. You might have heard me there.”
“Oh yes...” you hum, turning back to your stitching. “Alastor... I remember now. The ladies and I listen to your broadcast as we do our crafts.”
“Knitting?”
“I personally prefer embroidery,” you say. “I get to practice my stitching and make beautiful art.” You pull the thread and begin a new one, stitching his skin like they were shoe laces. “You’re quite the humorous gentleman, I must say, and quite a lovely taste in music. We enjoy your broadcast very much”
“Do you have any of your artworks here?” he asks you. “I would be eager to see them.”
“Maybe next time.” You tug the suture, and his laceration snaps to a close. You tie a knot and snip the end. “Unfortunately, I’ve finished your stitches.”
“Next time then.”
You discard your gloves and go back to the shelf with the vials. You fill up another syringe. You jam the needle into his skin, not enough to hurt, just enough to scare him a bit. “To prevent infection.”
He jerks away from you. “What happened to that gentle touch of yours?”
“It’s still a sharp object, Sir. They tend to hurt.” You smirk and carefully clean the remaining blood on the skin around the sutured wound. You take a bandage from your cart and begin wrapping it around his forearm, covering your sutures. “Don’t forget to drink your pills every 8 hours, with a meal in your stomach, preferably. Replace the dressing every three days. You can come back here or if you’re able to do so, you can change them yourself. Any by the good God, please, visit the nearest hospital should this incident repeat.”
Alastor slides off the examination chair. He grabs his coat as if you didn’t just stitch him close. You start packing when you notice him fixing his bow tie, and smoothing his hair. Huh…There’s blood on his coat, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Like he’s used to having it there. Like it’s just something he’s learned to live with. “You were wrong by the way.”
“Pardon?”
“It was quite the pleasure to meet you.”
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Next Part |Part 2: Radio Will be Dead if He Doesn't Explain Himself| Hello, welcome to the hell that's been plaguing my head. In case you didn't know Belphegor is the ruler of the sloth ring, and she seems to be in charge of medical-related stuff in Hell. I have the story mostly plotted out, it's just a matter of writing it down. If you have any questions, ask away
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multifandominfj · 7 months
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A New Beginning: A Supergirl 6x20 Re-Write
Chapter Three: It’s A Long Story
“Well, Mxy came by and offered me a chance to change the timeline…”
“Aren’t you the person who said you’d never do that?” Lena asked.
“Yes, I know I sound like a hypocrite. But when Lex told you my secret before I did…and our…you're worth risking the timeline.”
“Kara…” Lena then scoots closer to wrap a warm arm around her girl, pulling her to her embrace as she gets her to lean back on the couch. “So what happened?”
“First, all realities ended up being hell. The first timeline Mxy showed me was during the Children of Liberty. I revealed I was Supergirl during a lunch date, but then Mercy Graves got in the way. After I come back…Mxy tells me you went to see Sam. She tries to convince you I’m still me, but you were too hurt. You were scared I’d see you like Lex. Because you didn’t make it back on time…I end up dying due to Agent Liberty poisoning the atmosphere.”
Lena could tell re-living this wasn’t easy for Kara. Now wasn’t the time for her to be asking questions. So, she simply offered a comforting embrace accompanied with forehead kisses, all the while, while stroking up and down her arm with feather-like delicateness.
“The next timeline was over the Kryptonite stash. I was Supergirl, and I revealed to you me as Kara. The look on your face…was one of the most devastating things I’ve felt. You tell me that you just found out Sam was a World Killer. You tell me that you can never trust me again, and don’t want to work with me. I…well, you can guess. What hurt more was seeing you not save other people just because of my own bone headedness of just wanting to protect you. Another timeline I had…”
Watching Lena die, even in a fake timeline, felt way too real. That moment was permanently ingrained in her memory; it was actually her greatest fear, she just had never outright said it.
“Reign killed you. You died in my arms. That pain was probably some of the worst I’ve experienced. Right up there with betraying you. It felt…”
“I’m not going anywhere, My Sunbeam.” Lena assured her by taking hold of Kara’s free hand, and squeezing tight.
“Another one had you testifying against Lillian. You refused to give up my identity. And the powerhouse that you are, you help win the case. But..,you end up getting kidnapped. The only way I could save you…was to reveal myself. I save you, but everyone else I love…” Kara’s voice became tight and shaky, and tears were definitely starting to form. “Agent Liberty killed them. Including Cat…”
She tries to take a steadying breath, to no avail; it doesn't really help. Just thinking about the last one was enough to make her cry.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Lena hated seeing Kara cry.
“This last timeline was practically a dystopian Horror movie. Everyone was on the run. Brainy and Reign were minions. You were a dictator, Lena. And…you were turned into Metallo. You wanted me to fight you…but I couldn’t. You may have been evil, but even then, in that timeline where we weren’t friends…hurting the woman I love was out of the question.”
“I know this isn’t the point…but all of those timelines tell me that us meeting, and the journey we went on to get here…all of the pain and healing. It was worth it. You are worth it.” Lena lifts Kara’s chin, gently wiping away her tears; flashing her famous grin to ease away Kara’s fear.
“You truly are amazing, Lena. I’m still amazed that…I get to call you not only my girlfriend, but my partner in crime. To use your favorite Grey’s Anatomy quote…” She lets a chuckle slip past. “You’re my person. Forever and always.”
“El Mayarah.” Lena answered back.
“You get sexier every time you say that, you know.” Kara smirked.
“Oh I know I do.” Lena jokingly gloats as she leans down, closing the distance slowly. “I just never get tired hearing you saying variations of it.”
“Is that so?” Kara loved that Lena was just as big a dork as her. Reaching up to cup Lena’s architecturally strong jaw, she sealed the gap. Stroking her chin, kissing Lena was equally invigorating and calming. With lips as soft and delicate as butterfly wings, it was the Disney World fireworks every time Kara kissed the love of her life.
“I’m glad you finally told me. With everyone knowing who you are now, it can’t be easy dealing with your trauma now.” Lena finishes their kiss with a kiss on Kara’s adorable button nose.
“I’m glad I could tell you. I’ve been holding onto that for a long time, and it feels like I can stand straighter now.” Kara sighs with content.
“Since we are sharing, there’s something I should tell you.” Lena takes a deep breath. “You know the whole thing with Leviathan? While you were helpless, in the virtual unity festival…Acrata showed up.”
“What?” Kara was taken aback by that revelation.
“Yeah, she somehow had gotten manipulated by Lex, no surprise there. She…was told to kill you. I couldn’t let that happen, so…I stood in between you and the Kryptonite shard she was holding.”
“Lena. Do you know how dangerous that was? Granted it wouldn’t have harmed you like it does me, but one wrong move and…”
“I know Kara. But after how I treated you those few months, and the regret I felt for not realizing how stupid I was for not taking steps sooner to mend our relationship…risking my life and every breath I took for you was more than worth it.”
“I will keep saying this because it’s always going to be true…the Luthor name never deserved your kind, breathtaking, beautiful soul in their family. And I’m so glad that I get to be that for you now.” Kara had felt her body begin to fall asleep as she gave her girlfriend a dopey smile.
“Come on Sleeping Beauty, time for bed. We both know Esme is going to want to come over and ask you tons of questions.” Helping Kara up from the couch as walking over to the bed, Lena got in first so Kara could nuzzle close.
“That is very true.” Kara gives a sleepy laugh as she follows, getting under the covers then cuddling close to Lena in the alcove of her shoulder and chest. “Thank you…” Her eyes began to droop.
“For what, Kara?” Seeing that she was getting tired, Lena began to stroke Kara’s hair to help her sleep.
“For listening…and for loving me…” She dozed off to sleep, Kara’s train of thought coming to a hypnotic halt.
“Always.” Lena whispered, kissing Kara’s head one last time. “Sleep tight, My Sunbeam.” Reaching, she turns to shut off the lamp. Resting her head atop her love’s she would also doze off to a land of blissful sleep.
Here is Chapter Three! Hope you guys are liking the story so far 🙏🏻.
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nextinline-if · 1 year
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I am not letting myself get distracted. I mean, honestly, this is important! so, here's Grey's Anatomy quotes that are coded for different characters <3
all credit to the people who made these, it was not me but i grabbed them from google images <3
King Percival - </3
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[ID: An image of Meredith that has white words that read: "I think it's important to take the time to tell people you love how much you love them while they can hear you./ID]
Lady Margaret - <3
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[ID: A photo of Cristina from the show. Yellow words read: "Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here, and don't give a damn what anyone thinks. You're on your own. Be on your own./ID]
Queen Vivian - &lt;3
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[ID: Meredith looking upset as hell with text that reads: Do you know, I can't remember the last time we kissed? 'Cause you never think the last time's going to be the last time - you think there will be more. You think you have forever, but you don't./ID]
Felix Faramund - <3
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[ID: Photo of Alex from the show with light yellow words that read: I can't lose you, I won't survive and that's your fault. You made me love you, you made me let you in./iD]
F. Faramund - <;/3
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[ID: Photo of Meredith in scrubs with white text that reads: I will probably hurt you again. And you'll hurt me. And I'll come right back to you again when you do. I accept the risk. Because you're worth it. Because you matter to me. Because I love you. And I'm not going anywhere./ID]
Constantine <3
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[ID: A quote from Cristina on a pastel splattered background with white writing that reads: There comes a point where it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore. So we give up, That's when the real work begins. To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all./ID]
James <3
Okay, I couldn't get a pic with the quote I needed so here's a pic of Derek lmao and I don't have the energy to make it sorry lol
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[ID: An image of Derek with no words on it. He looks stressed or something.]
Quote for this one: I can't tell you about my pain.
Last one - Game Theme Coded or something clever (insert yourself)
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[ID: A blurry image with a black background and white text and a picture of Meredith. It reads: They say death is hardest on the living. It's tough to actually say goodbye. Sometimes it's impossible. You never really stop feeling the loss. It's what makes things so bittersweet. We leave little bits of ourselves behind, little reminders. A lifetime of memories, photos, trinkets. Things to remember us by even when we're gone./ID]
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ecto-hazard · 2 years
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The fucked up post about Tesla Entryverse Object Anatomy that no one asked for and nobody wanted
TW for body horror/light gore I guess??? Is this gore???? Is this body horror?????
It’s kind of established in the Tesla entryverse that objects have organs but this doesn’t make sense. But I’m going to make it make sense. Except it won’t. But we can pretend it does.
Now in this universe there’s obviously a lot of different objects made of different things with different physical and physiological properties. It would be too much of a hassle to classify them all as their own species and understand every single “species” biological system, so they mostly function on a case by case basis with some generalizations (for example most hollow objects have organs in some sort of body cavity, objects don’t have bones except in the limbs and teeth, etc). Even with these generalizations there’s a lot of exceptions and variation, so being in the medical field in this universe is a real pain in the ass.
Here’s Classified and Radithor for comparison. Both of them have the general anatomical structure of “set of organs in a matrix.” But due to their vastly different object properties (flat paper folder vs glass bottle of radium water) the way these organs are arranged and function likewise are different. Classifieds organs are all flat and embedded directly in the folder material because there just. Isn’t any space. On the other hand, Radithor is full of liquid, which can be easily lost, so they have something more akin to amorphous membrane thingies that can perform different functions and be easily replaced if needed. So you can see what an absolute fucking mess categorizing all this stuff would be.
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All that’s cool and dandy but the main focus is ya boy Tesla cause how the fuck would that work. Quantum superposition or some shit like that.
So here’s Tesla before getting fucking killed. They can be sort of divided into different regions depending on what you’re looking at. They’ve got the two sections of the actual object, but also three main body regions that are sorta defined more like the parts of a human trunk based on the sort of organs and shit go there.
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so Tesla’s a fucking tube. A transparent hollow tube, so you should probably see organs in there. But you don’t, because that’d be horrifying. But the actual explanation that I’m probably going with that totally makes sense is that the majority of transparent objects developed a dual nature anatomy. There’s the observable anatomy, which is just whatever the object is, and the unobservable, which is all the organs n shit. So all of the biological anatomy is like, it’s in there, and the individual can sense them, but you can’t observe or interact with it without super specialized equipment. The upside is that stuff that manages to get into transparent objects won’t hurt anything biological, especially in the case of objects like Tesla where there’s internal mechanisms that are part of the observable anatomy that may need maintaining. The downside is that if anything fucks up with the biological anatomy it’ll be a hell of a hard time treating it medically. This coupled with the fact that many transparent objects are glass or some other fragile material naturally makes transparent objects tend to have a shorter lifespan.
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Tesla in particular has an interesting relationship with these two body systems in that they both play an important part in functioning, where other objects might just be a simple case around their viscera. Tesla’s nervous system has two central nodes, the biological brain that regulates all those functions, and the actual tesla coil for which their named. The electric plasma between them acts both as a sort of communication line between these systems and as “fluid nerves” which allow them to redirect their nerves to sense stimuli with much higher intensity than average depending on the situation. This is cool for seeing really dim light or tasting something real subtle. But they can also get overwhelmed as hell by it quickly, especially since just touching Tesla’s glass redirects the electricity. This is also what allows Tesla to have the funny claw arm after they break in half.
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Anyway sorry for the nightmares
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weregreatatcrime · 9 months
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“So you tried bandaging this up, and you… well, you did your best.”
Karl and Anja
I had a hard time deciding which of them was the one hurt, here skfkjhgdfg. Anja can't quit SAY it, but she definitely is Implying it. Beware the Goreyness of re8 stuff ask meme here
Karl fell onto his mattress, tired and cranky from the pain shooting up his back. And his legs. Can't forget his legs, being a mangled mess of bones and shredded flesh.
There was a loud whine as Anja shoved her way through the door and towards their shared nest. "Karl?" She whined and sniffed him worriedly.
"S'fine." Karl grunted. He'd just regrow them later. "You know it'll be fine."
Her ears flattened and she gave him a Look. Just because it would regrow and heal up fine didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell in the meantime. And regrowing limbs always took him a few days, which meant a few days of this.
Knowing what her Look meant, Karl groaned. "Stop looking at me like that! Just got in a bit of a fight with Sal. Fucker wouldn't shut up about Mother this, Mother that..."
She snorted loudly. She could smell. He reeked of Moreau's filthy waters. But that was worse. Karl could still catch infections in his wounds if they were bad enough, and anything Moreau did was guaranteed to be contaminated.
Anja sat on her haunches and used her giant paws to slowly pull aside the blanket Karl had tugged over himself. He grumbled but let her fuss. She whined at the shoddy bandaging and shot him a glare.
"What?" Karl waved a hand at her. "I'm fuckin sorry, I had to drag my ass all the way back here, I was a little less bothered with wrapping it up right."
Blood and disgusting discharge spilled over the crappy bandaging, leaking all over their blankets. Anja very delicately pried at the bandages with her claws. The smell was horrid. The problem with advanced healing was that when combined with corrosive and infectious materials, things got nasty real fast.
"Legs... pieces." Anja fumbled, nose wrinkling. His legs were shreds of meat loosely attached to broken bones. "Go?" It would be better just to remove them and let them grow back from cleaner tissue than... any of this.
"Yeah yeah, later." Karl groaned. He buried his face in his arms with a sigh. "Can we just... sit for a bit?" He was tired and in pain and felt like crap. Cutting his legs off could wait until he had the brainpower to do it with actual anatomy in mind. He'd been meaning to try out a leg prosthetic sometime. May as well, when he could just regrow a limb later when he wanted.
Anja huffed at him with annoyance but settled into the nest next to him, curling up around her little brother to keep him warm. He was always cold when blood loss hit.
"Thanks, An." Karl mumbled. Maybe he could actually get a nap in. If passing out counted as napping.
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themarginalthinker · 11 months
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Since you have relationships in your VtM fick , how do you explore sex?
A lot of VtM debates if it exists in vampires and if desirable at all.
Does any of your own characters do it? Or even have the capacity to enjoy it?
Or are they more blood based in their relationships? Like eating each other or blood bonds?
My apologies for the awkward ask
I have seen the debates! Woof, trust me, I have...
this might get a bit long, so strap in.
What I think I'm aiming for for my larger 'this is my take on the mechanics of the vtm universe' are as such:
-Vampires are paradoxically able to feel more, and less, purely physically, than humans. They're more sensitive to changes in temperature, light, spacial awareness, sounds - but in terms of internal body, they've stopped most biological processes that don't directly feed into keeping the body moving and intaking information, which includes some involuntary reflexes like heartbeat, involuntary breathing (which they can still do voluntarily to speak), and reproductive processes. This simply means they will naturally have less of a physically-motivated sex drive than they used to have.
-This also means that they can become overstimulated so much faster and easier than humans. Too much light, too much sound, too much sensation all at once and it gets painful to go through for long. As much as I enjoy the aesthetic of vamps in da club, raves and danceclubs would be HELL for a Kindred's senses after more than an hour. Sex would be a little easier, but touching, kissing, it might get uncomfortable after too long.
-Blush of Life is a tricky ability, and what it actually means in play and how one can translate that into a story...eh? I work off a spectrum, for all Disciplines and abilities. Everyone is different. For some, you Blush and you can pass as basically human in every respect. Body temp, pupil dilation, saliva and other non-blood bodily fluid production, involuntary reflexes, the works. For others, they can maybe get their heart beating again, and get some extra heat in their skin, but that's about the extent of it.
-Even in real life, among allosexual people (hell, among ace people, of which I am one!) it really varies how much or little one wants sex, and for what reason, and with who. The key to making a good selection of characters and a good story that talks about this kind of thing is diversity. No single group of people are all going to feel exactly the same and experience exactly the same thing. Maybe someone who perviously had little interest in sex is embraced and suddenly realizes the heightened senses helps them get more into it, feeling more. And someone else may feel the exact opposite, who used to feel really good, now just feels overstimulated and too-much.
---here begins some slightly graphic discussion of anatomy and physical reactions, jsyk---
For my universe, really the only thing that must happen for comfortable, penetrative sex to happen, OR sex that involves genitalia such as fingering or insertion toys (and to an extent vibes and grinders) is: Blush of Life for persons with both a penis and a vagina. Blush of Life is what forces the body to create and maintain an erection and vaginal lubrication.
Everything aside from that? It's all up to the persons involved, and what they want from the experience. Sex doesn't just mean 'dick go in pussy for a few min and then done', there's a lot people can do with each other that can feel good, and orgasm doesn't have to be the end goal.
As for blood-drinking, bloodbonds and biting - that's REALLY up to the people involved.
Biting feels very, very physically good (unless you're Giovanni, rip lol) but...it doesn't always translate to 'orgasm' feelings. For some it's like shooting straight ecstasy, a head and body rush that feels almost painful it happens so fast and so harsh, while for others it's low and burning and lingers and can last for hours and hours. A lowgrade buzz that stays with you, but never makes you unaware of your surroundings.
Lots of Kindred pair the Kiss with sex because it enhances the experience, but I'd imagine just as many don't. You gotta ask before hand, I suppose. Or find out in the heat of the moment, lol.
I'd also imagine that, as a culture, fledglings are encouraged to try shit out with each other. It's a good, fairly safe way to learn what your particular brad of Kiss is like, or how you like yours in a way that doesn't risk the Masquerade.
The other bit of sliiiiightly non-canon worldbuilding in my take on the vtm universe is how bloodbonds work. As it turns out...it's again, a spectrum! Three is NOT the (literal) magic number. Certain people can be bonded well and truly after just one mouthful, or it can take ten full feedings to even BEGIN to feel the pull. Now, how susceptible they are to it depends largely on the bloodline and in some cases clan, but it's often a crap-shoot. 'Three' does seem like the line where the bond becomes most noticeable in the vast majority of cases, however. AND, furthermore, it can wear off!!
Yep. A bloodbond can wear off! Not unlike recovering from addiction, and it suuuuucks the longer you're in one, but it can happen. See, in my mind, the bond works by keeping the blood of the feeder Kindred within you, and it only stays within the feedee Kindred for so long, until their own vitae is cycled through with feeding on non-feeder blood. Like dripping food dye in a glass of water, and then exchanging some of that water for new water. Go without dropping new dye in, but keep feeding it new water, and eventually there will be no more dye in the glass.
This is also how some very smart blood leeches have learned to get what they want without becoming bonded. Feed from a huge selection of feeders, so that no one person's vitae is ever in their system long enough to form a bond before rotating back to them where they will be at square one again.
So, yep. Those are my baseline rules. To me, it never made sense to tie something like sex to humanity. (tbh, it feels like one of those 'if you don't want sex there's something WRONG and BROKEN with you!' ace/arophobic statements just retooled for a game...). People in my vtm universe have and don't have sex as much or as little as they prefer, in whatever ways they find comfortable, with whatever equipment they have to work with. Age also has very little to do with it, as I'm sure the clan 'closest' to humanity, The Toreador, would love to tell you alllll about.
As for what MY characters do/make of it? Well, that will be explored a little more in the fic! I will say though, a good number of them do, in various ways. This post has just gotten longer than I expected lmao sorry xD
Thanks for reading! I hope I explained it well!
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b0mblover · 1 month
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j rants abt dead loptson as usual because he cannot be bothered to keep the thoughts to himself
ok so FIRST OF ALL
i think im gonna start just calling this ‘loptson hawaii: part ii’ BECAUSE ITS ESSENTIALLY WHAT IM MAKINGGG 😭😭
second of all, funny thing, im /planning/ on drawing lopt playing piano and mason playing violin because in hawaii part ii its the instruments i noticed specifically (i swear it makes sense) but uh.
brain rot j made a fucking omori joke and now i cannot get it out of my head 😭
the only difference is that mason is getting killed but doesnt play piano (oh ig omori spoilers but its 2024. even if you havent played it you probably already know)
uggrbfnd fuck im not even kidding i swear. those maps i made im using for this project J PLEASE QUIT DOING THIS TO ME WHY DO YOU HATE ME. THIS IS SUCH A BG ASS PROJECT. YOU CANT EVEN PROPERLY FINISH A SMALL WRITING THING. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THIS SHIT (talking ti myself somewheee thats not main sorry)
im sorry but uh. look. unironically, guchiry characters playing instruments have been actually rotting my mind for literally years 😭 trust me i dont even know how i dont have a list. i just associate them in my mind and remember it.
CHOKES sorry yeesh!
i actually made three maps but uh, i think only one will get used in this project (if i ever finish it that is) bc i havent even named the other two! i might just use them for idk. aesthetics in my room or smth idk.
jesus i have so many ideas i need to quit this is excalty how burn out happens but i cant help itttt
hggvfddnsn i the brainrot so much
currently (like as im writing this) im working on i uh- drawing smth rather reveling(?) like uh. it isnt -sexual- in like the slighest but is???? idk look. i really need to practice/actual/ anatomy 😭😭 it sucks bc like. man its akward as hell bc im essentially drawing lopt with no clothes on but i feel like i kinda gotta??
(i really wanna have smth to laugh at when i get older alr)
ANYWAYS the point was that i cant figure out if i should render it or just leave it at line art.
christ im rambling again fuck.
back to the topic (yes im leaving that in)
i should absolutely end masons life in the most guresome and blood curdling way possible! 😍🥰 /j
but srsly. maritime forest. you are having BLOOD on your trees 🥰 (look it up. that isnt the /name/ of it its just a descriptor)
man. these names are kinda. weird ish tho.
aphelion, periciel, vacant beach 3- (last is a joke)
ahhbrbdns but srsly naming this shit is hardddd bc following real world naming (at least acordding to google) is such a pain, like uh, (from what i remember) it usually is either a feature of the place, named after someone, and a third thing that i cannot remember rn.
(funfact, im 99% sure periciel isnt a real word! peri acordding to google means about and ciel means sky in french apparently, yea. about sky. aphelion((heres the google def bc im not explaing this))
“the point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is furthest from the sun."
(SO! uh yea. if you were wondering how i came up with the names ig. oh yea funny thing. the thing about periciel. i actually looked up peri bc in puyo puyo tetris 2 (im being dead srs rn i wish i was kidding) in a call out line schezo says “parry” but i thought it was “peri” so yada yada boom. this shit is unnecessary complicated but uh. thats my entire existence! so)
man i have SO much to do. i think im gonna attempt to draw bread sheeran. well actually scratch that. i have a week to do that, i was working on uh. nonsexual lopt before i went outside and got brainrotted to death, so ill probably work on that, or start the other drawing (i really REALLY wanna draw mason playing violin. i actually dont even know that in white ball violin is the main instrument. i just think it is 😭😭) hggggbbhh well! im gonna go suffer now. thanks to like the 2 ppl that read this in full. im sorry for your eyes!
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randomcommentary · 10 months
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Commentary on the Tubi movie: Rotten
-somebody had a shopping spree at hobby lobby with all these signs
-Sis wasn't lying about homie being a bum
-not engage to a homeless nigga
-is she face timing T-Pain??
-what's going on???
-nothing wrong with loving your mother from a distance especially when she's toxic
-how are you a hairstylist and your man look destitute
-not sleeping with married men???
-let love into her life??? Sir why are you preaching to your mistress
-your wife is your world every day except for Wednesdays
-I'm confused was she taking down the braids on putting them in
-apple petty but she ain't lying about her mama
-Issac needs to stay out of their business
-shit parents ALWAYS NEED AN ORGAN🤣🤣
-once again apple ain't shit but she doesn't have to give her kidney to a mother that doesn't acknowledge the pain she caused
-girl what money have you got when you giving it to your homeless and jobless boyfriend
-one thing a broke nigga go do is keep a plan b aka another home to squat in
-sir I can't take you seriously with these glasses
-not his baby mama!!! Girl you dumb as hell
-girl ya man is a bum!!!
-she out here dating T-Pain
-oh they all got relationship issues
-apple about you sleep with Isaac
-🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 she a damn fool
-girl tell them where Deon's bum ass at
-Baby the self-esteem in this family is lower than the earth’s core
-not he’s our man now!!😂😂
-Isaac is NOT a good man Savannah
-he has a point apple🥴
-I wonder if Isaac is Apple daddy??
-Apple is hella grimy was made that way
-the adulterer is judging and preaching to his mistress again🙃
-not her pulling this grey’s anatomy choose me love me line😂
-self-esteem has officially dropped to the south pole
-he working hard for this kidney
-black Carlos needs to take this bum out
-he not trying! I have yet to see him on Indeed jobs
-self-esteem #2 following right behind the other one
-not him stealing her identity
-HUSBAND???
-not him running
-she still defending this muskrat
-I completely agree you are a loser with that wide-ass part in that wig
-I’m so tired of this TD Jakes nigga
-not her throwing her bills away😂
-aww she gave her a booth at the shop🥹
-I hope T-ache is real
-Tami crawled so Tokyo Toni could walk
-Baby this is too much
-I wonder who the Pappy is
-I'm getting dizzy with this camera circling
-Issac gotta be her daddy
-not the adulterer catching feelings
-the wife is slow as well I see
-Deon out here dress like Fabo
-call black Carlos!!
-TD Jakes dresses like a new edition member...this is too much
-Black Carlos!!!
-Tami just tell that girl who her daddy is
-😱😱 this is the work of Tyler Perry
-the whole bloodline is trash my lawd
-they look to the sky for big Mama when she at the bottom looking up at them just burning
-not the whole salon knowing about her meet-up with T-ache
-is that a birth certificate I see👀👀
-i hope this man ain't a serial killer
-OH NO!!!! 😱😱
-Lawd this is too much
-I KNEW IT!!! She having a hills have eyes baby!!
-not the cousin dead Jesus 😱
-be pro-choice🤷🏽‍♀️
-this man fashions🙃
-not Tami popping up on Isaac
-Yaass Tami🔫🔫
Too much was going on but at least the plot was decent
3/5 stars
0 notes
kaijutegu · 3 years
Text
STUFF NOBODY EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT TEETH (and how to take care of them if you are poor and/or depressed)
Contrary to what the US health industry would have you believe, your teeth are NOT luxury face bones. You need them. Healthy teeth are a cornerstone of good health in general for a lot of reasons. You can’t eat well without them. You need them to speak. And tooth bias is real.
This makes me very sad because I love teeth. I am not a dentist. I’m a biological anthropologist whose expertise is oral disease and the evolutionary anatomy of teeth. My dad’s an oral surgeon and I worked in his office from the tender and illegal age of 8 to the ripe old age of 18, which is when I went to college. At 12, I was assisting with the disposal of biowaste, aka packaging up the teeth to send them to dental schools. I live, breathe, sleep, and occasionally eat teeth. I found a human incisor on my floor this morning and wasn’t even surprised. I study how teeth go bad partly so that I can help living people protect the teeth they’ve got. It’s my goal with this post to teach you about a couple of different types of procedures and oral injuries, as well as what you can do to help keep your teeth functional. So in this post, what I am going to do is outline a few common things that can go wrong with your teeth, how they happen, and how to catch them before they get bad. A lot of the advice in this post is for people who maybe can’t get to the dentist for a cleaning and checkup every six months. This post is also gonna be LONG AS HELL and there is going to be a separate post called “luxury face bone hacks for the busy/broke/b’mentally ill” or something like that, so like. If you don’t like super long posts, just hit this one with a like and actually read through that one.
First, let’s talk about dental anatomy.
What Are Teeth?
Teeth are extremely cool. They’re these amazing little packages of dentin pulp, protected by enamel, nestled into the jaw like truffles in a box of chocolates, held in place with a teeny tiny ligament. They’re gorgeous– enamel is a beautiful substance, translucent and opalescent. Teeth are also extremely weird when you think about them. You have these weird not-bone things emerging from holes in your jawbones. They’re snapped into place with a biological bunjy cord and you can actually SPRAIN THEM if you put too much pressure on them.
Here are some important things to know about teeth!
First, the nerves in your teeth were never meant to be exposed to the air. They only process stimulus one way: pain. This means that when you get a cavity or do anything else that exposes the nerve, it is going to hurt like a bitch.
Your teeth may come loose! Usually they stay put and go back to normal in a day or two. Don’t panic. This is usually the result of you spraining your dental ligament that holds the tooth in place.
Root canals suck but they can prevent dental abscesses. Dental abscesses can kill you. If they spread and get into your sinuses, they can cross the blood/brain barrier and you will die. This doesn’t happen much any more, but in rare cases… it can.
The phrase “like pulling teeth” is a misnomer. Pulling teeth is extremely easy if you know what you’re doing. Extractions are usually a very simple procedure. What’s complicated is things like root canals and setting up implants, which, in the case of implants is the literal opposite of pulling teeth.
Pregnancy will fuck up your teeth because a.) the fetus is leaching your vital essence and other nutrients and b.) your hormones are telling a lot of ligaments in your body to loosen up to get ready to give birth. Sometimes wires get crossed and other ligaments at non-mobile joints get the loosen up message, too. Just be sure to keep up your dental hygiene regimen during pregnancy and you’ll be fine.
Your gum tissue isn’t just weird wet skin. It’s a mucous membrane that protects the mouth. It can get diseased and inflamed, so pay attention to it! Also, there’s a lot of blood vessels so if you poke yourself with something, you’ll bleed like a stuck pig for a minute. The kind of bleeding you should be worried about is prolonged bleeding, where you see blood welling up around your teeth for no apparent reason.
Now that you’ve been equipped with some fun facts, lets talk about diseases and procedures.
Braces: if you’re reading this, you probably don’t need them
First: Pediatric orthodontia is largely a scam. People who put standard braces on their child before that child has lost all of their baby teeth are stupid and causing their child needless pain because those teeth are going to fall out anyways and the alignment of the adult teeth was decided long, long ago. The kids who NEED orthodontic intervention are kids with bad crossbites/underbites/overbites. This requires specialized headgear most of the time and is more intense than the standard braces because they are made to solve a much bigger problem. The standard bracket-and-wire braces? Don’t put those on a child. They won’t help. Also, your kid doesn’t have their third molars yet, and those are the molars most likely to come in twisted anyways.
As an adult, you may want braces for cosmetic reasons or for comfort reasons. This is a CHOICE that is YOURS TO MAKE. If your dentist suggests you need braces, ask why. You don’t have to get them. Now,If you have certain kinds of dental overlap- like, your lateral incisors have been pushed behind your frontals- then yeah, you should get braces. But is it the end of the world if you don’t get braces? No.
Wisdom tooth removal: you might not need it
The human jaw is in a state of evolutionary mismatch right now. Basically, our last molar, the third molar, doesn’t come in until we’re an adult. Unfortunately, thanks to ten thousand years of agriculture, give or take a few millennia, we have much more gracile jaws than our ancestors. There’s not always enough room for it. Now, this isn’t true for everyone, because no two skulls are identical and all, but sometimes there is a condition where you really should get those suckers out. If they are impacted, or coming in sideways, they can push your other teeth out of alignment and cause jaw issues down the line. If they come up straight, don’t worry about it.
Cavities: you need to get these taken care of
Cavities are a pain in the ass and are honestly the main reason you should go to the dentist for checkups, so that they can take the x-ray of your mouth and see how any potential trouble zones are progressing. You should call a dentist and seek help if you notice pain that persists over three days, as that’s an indicator of something more serious than just a sprain.
Tooth Grinding: this is a problem
If you grind your teeth, your dentist may recommend a night guard. Actually listen to them about this. Grinding your teeth can cause major jaw alignment problems that are a pain to fix, so just bite the silicone and suck it up. Also maybe talk to a therapist if you can, because grinding can be a result of stress/anxiety.
Whitening your teeth: bad idea
First off, your teeth ain’t supposed to be white. Enamel is not white. Enamel is translucent and pearlescent, so its actual color is very hard to pin down. Your teeth are naturally going to look more ivory-colored over time. That’s just part of being human and having teeth. Embrace it. You are a badass omnivore with thirty-two gorgeous enamel teeth. They weren’t put in your mouth to look pretty, they were put in your mouth to feed you.
Second: Whitening your teeth weakens your enamel. Once your enamel’s gone, it ain’t coming back, baby. There are some gentler whitening methods, like whitening toothpaste, but these are only going to give you about one to two shades worth of improvement. If you have extremely stained teeth and you want to whiten them, make sure you talk to your dentist about all the risks. Unfortunately, there is no truly safe and effective home-style (read: not a million gotdang dollars) remedy for whitening teeth.
There are a few that are kicking around, but seriously, some of them are dangerous. Do NOT rub wood ash on your teeth. That’s lye. Don’t put that in your mouth. Do NOT use actual bleach, hair dye developer, or non-dental peroxide gel. They are poisonous. DO NOT PUT ACETONE ON YOUR TEETH i have seen this exactly once and the person came into my dad’s office with chemical burns on their gums and lips. I do NOT want to see this again.
It is a misconception that brushing your teeth keeps them looking white. Brushing your teeth removes plaque and biofilm, but those buildups don’t actually stain the enamel itself. Instead, really the only way to keep your teeth looking light is to pay attention to what you’re putting in your mouth. If you’re a tobacco user, vape! Tar is a major staining agent. Coffee’s also a major stainer, and the big trick there is to put a little milk in it. See, enamel staining doesn’t come from the color of the food. It comes from chemical properties. Acidic foods stain because acid damages enamel. Food with high levels of tannins, like coffee or tea, stain because the tannins change the PH of the mouth. So what you should do to avoid staining is balance your mouth PH by eating something basic after eating something acidic. Add a lil milk to your coffee or tea to weaken its acidity just a bit. Swish with water afterwards to help clear the acid. Don’t eat lemons or any other acidic food after drinking coffee. Why would you want to eat lemons after drinking coffee, anyways? Seems like a weird flavor combo to me.
And while we’re on the subject…
MOUTH CHEMISTRY
What’s in your mouth? Your teeth, your gums, your tongue, your spit… yeah, your spit. Saliva’s important. It’s probably THE most important thing in protecting your teeth because salivary production constantly washes the teeth, clearing off as much bad bacteria as possible. If you have an issue with saliva production, you should drink as much water as you can throughout the day, and get a bottle of dry mouth tabs for nighttime. Or daytime, if they don’t bother you. This is really important because dry mouth is a major side effect for a lot of drugs, like anti-depressants. This is actually a huge part of my research- the population I study used a natural painkiller, but in the end its use caused them more pain because the way it works, it decreases the efficacy of the salivary glands. They stop making sufficient saliva, the teeth dry out, the mouth PH changes, and the bacteria that destroy enamel go buckwild. If you can’t make your own spit, store bought is fine. Water for the day, tabs for the night.
Now, you might think that ok, acid isn’t great, let’s eat more basic foods to balance that out. You can, but it… isn’t great. Your saliva is naturally acidic for a reason, and if you neutralize it completely, that ALSO messes with your teeth. You should be drinking plain water as much as possible.
Seltzer and Soda
Some people think seltzer may hurt your teeth, but it really won’t… unless it’s citrus-flavored. Reason: citrus seltzer uses citric acid as a flavoring agent, and that messes with your teeth. So if you want to drink citrus seltzer, drink it with a meal or with food. Don’t sip it slow over the day.
Soda, on the other hand is a goddamn nightmare. The acid’s kind of a problem but the sugar… dear god the sugar. So. your teeth are covered in a bacterial biofilm. Some of these bacteria excrete acid, and that’s what gives you cavities. This is another part of my research- looking at how cavity prevalence changes as sweetening agents and sugar availability changes. As different carbohydrates enter the diet, populations’ disease responses change. I know more about this than probably anybody else in the world, and here is what I know: the best thing you can do for your teeth is stop drinking American soda.
It’s the corn, you guys. The chemical compounds in corn make the cavity-causing bacteria kick into overdrive. Sodas sweetened with high fructose corn syrup create the perfect environment for these dudes to excrete out a storm. Sugary beverages in general promote cavities, but NOTHING does it like sodas sweetened with high fructose corn syrup or any other corn byproduct. Try to limit your soda and juice consumption and if you can, make sure that when you do have them, you’re getting some food,too.
Other Acids
Ok this next part is going to deal with eating disorders. I’m going to be talking about some of the side effects of bulimia, what they can do to your teeth, and how you can take care of them. Eating disorders are serious business and I hope if you need this section you are in supportive recovery and have the love and support and resources you need. If you don’t want to read about what this can do to your teeth, scroll real quick until you seen the big green text.
If your teeth are in frequent contact with stomach acid, acid etching can be a real problem. Your enamel is tough but stomach acid is gnarly, and your gums don’t have that same protection. If you find yourself vomiting frequently, for whatever reason, try to swish water around in your mouth afterwards to help clean it out. I know that’s not the thing that’s likely on your mind after that, but a lot of what we’re doing here is damage control. I’m not here to judge you in the slightest. I’m just here to help you with your teeth.
Do not brush your teeth immediately after vomiting. The enamel is weaker, and you can cause even more damage by brushing too hard. Wait for at least an hour until after you’ve rinsed your mouth to avoid spreading the acid around.
You can also add some (1-2 tsp) baking soda to the water you rinse with, if you feel ok with doing that. It will taste gross and salty but it will help neutralize the acid. You just rinse with this, you don’t swallow.
ok that part is over
TOOTH HACKS
This is the funnest part, I get to tell you good ways to take care of your teeth that require very few spoons and very little money!
Brush ‘em twice a day. Once when you get up to clear out whatever happened the night before, and once before you fall asleep. You can brush more but you don’t have to. Use a soft-bristled brush and whatever toothpaste you like. If you hate mint, kid toothpaste that tastes like bubblegum or berries is totally fine!
Don’t want to get out of bed? totally fine. Use a finger toothbrush! these are designed for babies which is actually great because they are SUPER soft. If you have sensitive gums, these are going to be really helpful.
Don’t have access to a finger toothbrush? honest to god you can just dip your finger in water (though a mix of water and baking soda or water and salt is better) and brush your teeth with just your finger. The point of this isn’t to freshen your breath or anything, it’s just to get the biofilm off of your teeth and protect them.
Floss. This gets the biofilm out from between your teeth and promotes good gum health. Don’t just run it between the teeth- you need to floss below the gumline a little bit to help clean out plaque.
If you don’t have the spoons to do your whole mouth, floss between your molars if you can.
There’s lots of products that are great for people who can’t go through the whole flossing routine. Pre-threaded flossers are ideal because they’re designed for minimal effort and maximum gain. These are also killer for people with physical disabilities that affect hand dexterity.
If flossing hurts because you have sensitive gums, a water flosser can really help. This is more expensive but will last a very long time.
You can also get topical numbing gel that you can smear on your gums when flossing. Just be careful that you’re not flossing too hard because you can’t feel it. This brand is kind of expensive but it has a nice minty flavor. If you have a dollar and a way to get there, I saw Orajel at Dollar Tree yesterday… when I was buying a bunch of those pre-threaded flossers to throw in my car. I oughta do a Dollar Tree field trip to show you like, what products are available at the absolute cheapest in the US. Dollar Tree has a LOT of good dental options.
There’s a tiktok that says you can use a strand of hair to floss. This is a bad idea. A single strand of hair is likely to break and can cut into your gums. If you want to use hair as floss, you need to use a couple of strands twisted together. Go slow and gentle if you’re using hair. Obviously actual floss is better but this isn’t “perfect dental tips for perfect people,” this is “life sucks but your teeth don’t gotta.”
If you can’t floss or can’t brush, gargle. Put two tsp of baking soda in a glass of warm water. Swish it around, spit it out. If you can do that, you’ve helped clear out biofilm and bacterial waste.
Prioritize your teeth. You only get two sets and you lose the first one by the time you’re twelve. If you can only do one hygiene thing today, make it be your teeth.
Eat some pineapple. Bromelain, which is only found in pineapple, is super good at protecting enamel.
That’s… all I got for you now. Take care of your teeth!
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hotwings0203 · 3 years
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Wat if katsuki actually had a s/o that loved Key word LOVED him but.....
Then when he started getting to aggressive and starts hitting her she suddenly stops all the love and affection. And that makes katsuki so confused and angry bc he like 'wtf why did they stop huggin and kissin me when I get home from my matches'. Then his darling becomes very depressed is and cooped up in her room all the time. So when katsuki friends come over they wonder where y/n is.
Tw:abuse, implied dubcon, depression
“Babe, you’re home!” You rush over to the door when you head it unlocking, arms outstretched already or embrace his wounds.
But when the door swings open you’re met with a scowling Bakugo who shoves you aside so hard you fall to the floor.
He grumbles and throws his bags down, kicking mud off his shoes onto the carpet as he glares at you.
“This place is a pigsty. Why the fuck didn’t you clean?”
You laugh nervously and raise an eyebrow. “Uhh, ‘cause I was out all day too? I just got home an hour ago and I was tired. What’s with you? Why’re you in such a bad mood?”
Katsuki’s eyes widen until they’re the size of dinner plates. His nostrils flare and his fists resume the same position as they do in the ring.
“You talkin’ back to me now?”
“What? No, you literally just asked-“
Crack.
The sound of him backhanding your cheek reverberates around the apartment, and you hold your face in shock.
It’s not so much the pain of him striking you that hurts, it’s the fact that this has been happening for a while now that aches the most. Nothing you do-no smiles, no amount of love you showed him in, no sobs or pleads-sways him.
You love him, it’s true.
But it’s hard to love him when he looks at you like that.
“Get the fuck up. And clean all this shit up, the next time I come home to this filth I’ll make the clean the floors with your tongue.”
He grabs you by your hair and throws you face-first onto the tile area, taking his own sweet time to turn around and walk to your shared room.
After you clean for hours until the place is spotless, you retreat to bed.
He’s on his phone typing away with a slight crease in his eyebrows, but he looks up at you as you walk in.
“Hey. You done?” He has the audacity to ask in a gentle voice.
“Mmhm.”
You don’t look at him as you begin changing your clothes in the restroom and close the door behind you.
His frown deepens at that. You’ve never shied away from being vulnerable and naked with him.
To test his doubt, when you walk back into the room with your head still down, he leans forward as you sit down on the mattress, your back turned to him.
You shut off the lights in silence as he reaches a hand out and curls it around your shoulders.
“C’mere, ‘wanna feel you.” He mumbles in his raspy sleepy voice.
But to his utter confusion, you gently brush his hand off and continue your journey to tuck yourself in bed.
With your back still facing him.
“I’m tired Katsuki. Not in the mood.”
His hand is still suspended in midair, his facial features still frozen in his initial shock as he’s left in a pitch black room which is suddenly overcome with a freezing cold creeping up his spine.
He’s too wounded, too shocked and shot from his ego to be irate.
You’ve never said no to cuddling at night. Never. So what was wrong now?
You were taking his anger so well for a while, what the hell was the matter with you?
But he doesn’t touch you again that night. He barely sleeps a wink to your usually comforting sound of soft snores and little mumbles in your sleep talk.
In the morning his lack of sleep gets the betterment of his temper, and he lashes out of you again in the shower.
You’re washing your hair when you feel a cool breeze against your bare body. You open your eyes and see Katsuki standing in front of you outside the glass door to your shower.
You feign an eye roll and merely grab the handle trying to close it shut.
He doesnt even let it budge. He just snarls down at your intruding hand and yanks the door back even further, pulling you along with the force.
You yelp and slip on the floor, falling unceremoniously at his feet.
The look on his face is frankly terrifying, much worse than yesterday’s. Bakugo slowly steps in along with your quickly reversing body and closes the door behind him, trapping you inside with him.
“Why’d you try to close it on me.”
It’s not a question, it’s a demand.
“I’m sorry.”
“Then get up and touch me.”
He’s towering over your cornered form, his fists dangerously swinging next to your head.
Your limbs don’t move though. Your heart thuds slowly, your love ebbing away from him with its slow rhythm.
You already know how this is going to turn out, but you try anyways.
“Please Bakugo, I’m really not in the mood right now.”
“Oh, so it’s Bakugo now, huh?”
Your body disassociates so you don’t feel it as much, but unfortunately your hands still flinch above your head in instinct.
“If you’re-thud-sorry, then you’ll fucking-crack-touch me you-smack-ungrateful bitch.”
Your cries are loud, but not loud enough to drown his roaring out, not enough to mute the sound of his hands cracking above your shaking body.
He leaves the shower unfulfilled in his heart and in his dick.
His mind is in shambles.
This is the longest you’ve wanted space from him, he could understand an hour but half a day?
He has a rude awakening when “half a day” becomes a couple more days, then a week, and then it’s half a month since you’ve willingly kissed his battle scars and loved him with your whole being.
He says willingly because otherwise you eat his hits up like you’re just another fighter in the ring when he gets angry at your apathy. The only restraining factor that differentiates you and the men he puts in coffins is his desperation for you to come back.
To no avail though. If you’re not keeling over on the ground or pinned underneath him and molding your anatomy to the shape of his fists, then you’re still as a corpse on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and wishing you were anywhere else but here.
Bakugo doesn’t know what to do.
He doesn’t know what to feel.
Rage is consumed by paranoia, paranoia is swallowed whole by depression, depression is swept away by panicked desperation.
His hair starts falling out, his punches grow weaker and he comes home with more and more bruises every day to match the ones littering across your body.
One might wonder whose the real fighter-him or you.
And so one day when he can’t stand it anymore, can’t stand the silence and tension that’s so palpable you could taste the iron in the air, he invited his friends over.
He need the distractions. He needs happiness, a word that doesn’t seem worthy of his pathetic being.
He’s more pathetic than your unmoving body.
“Heyyy man!” Sero and Denki exclaim in obnoxious unison and throw their arms around Bakugo’s shoulders. All three of them barrel through his half-opened doorway and practically topple him over.
The air of excitement is so foreign to him, but oh so welcoming.
“Hey,” he grunts back awkwardly.
“You’ve never really invited us over without Y/N dragging you by the ear for it. How is she by the way? Haven’t heard of her in a while.” Kirishima nudges his shoulder.
But before he can open his mouth Denki cuts in. “You knock her up yet? You sly bastard, no wonder you’re hiding her from us. The gigs over Y/N, show us that beautiful belly!” He cups his hands around his mouth and the quip slashes through the air and infests Katsuki’s heart. It’s a mockery, a cruel reminder of what he cannot have.
When their friend doesn’t answer and merely walks off, the boys behind him awkwardly look at each other.
Usually he’d explode at them or at least chase them around the room.
And usually you would come out to greet them.
Katsuki was wrong.
You weren’t different from him anymore.
Because when he accepts that not even his friends can release his stone cold heart from its catatonic confines, he’s never felt more in sync with you than he has now.
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sagegr33n · 3 years
Text
Title -Helping Hand
Fandom-Tokyo revengers.
Summary-You're Angry's first serious girlfriend, and He just cant seem to figure out how to get you off, but luckily for him His big brother has his back.
Cw- Fem reader, Fem anatomy, Body descriptions, Porn without plot, Voluntary Cuckholding, Established Relationship.
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Y're not doing it r-right Souta" You whimper, face scrunched up due to the painful rhythm Your boyfriend is pushing his fingers in and out of your sore cunt.
He grunts in frustration, fingers going still.
"I could-could just Suck you off Baby you don't have to-
"Shut the hell up and let me do this." He barks cutting you off, cheeks reddening as his fingers return to their brutish pace. He'd Be damned If he didn't make you cum at least once tonight.
Souta isn't a virgin.
in fact -He's far from it.
He gets his rightful pick of toman's Prostitutes' and damn near every woman within a quarter-mile radius of him would kill for the chance to sleep with toman's Infamous Angry. His sexual experience Damn sure isn't the problem.
His past regard-or lack thereof for his partner's pleasure is.
In Souta's Defense, He's never fucked with someone he's actually cared enough about to make sure they got off too.
Up until you, he was used to sticking his dick into whatever Toman bitch he wanted to and then dipping after he came. He never stopped to think "Does this feel good for them" or shit like that.
However, He cares about you, In fact, you're the first girl He's ever cared about. And it makes him feel like shit that you wrap those pretty brown lips around him-bounce on his cock every other night and he can't even finger you right.
"I-Its really ok you don't-
Your cut off by the sound of the room door creaking open.
"Angry where the fuck is my Helmet, I told you to stop touching my shi-FUCK"
You're hands fly to cover yourself up as you register that Smiley just walked in but Angry's hands are faster as he pins your wrist to back down to the mattress. " Be fucking still" He growls, scowl deepening.
"I thought I fucking told you to knock before coming in here" Souya hisses. You expect for him to at least straighten himself out but his fingers trail right back down to your abused cunt.
"That looks fucking painful, smiley laughs stepping toward the bed. "He hurting you sweetheart?"
You nod, tears welling up in your eyes.
"You never told me your girlfriend had such nice tits "Smiley grins Elbowing his brother. "T's a shame you don't know what to do with all that... He trails off.
"I bet she's so pent up Souta, Have you ever even made her cum?"
Smileys much closer now, you can feel his breath on your face.
"I could teach you y'know" His thumb traces over your nipple and you're sure Souta might punch him in the face." Give you a helping hand -someone this pretty deserves to be treated nicely right?
Angry says nothing, but slides off the bed and lets his brother take his place beside you.
"He's been so rough with you pretty girl " Smiley grins pushing a braid behind your ear. "Let me show him how to make you feel good."
Your head feels heavy like lead but still, you nod, spreading your legs open a little wider for him.
"Ya see you're problem is Y're so used to fucking girls Souta" Smiley starts fingers dipping down to trace soft circles on your clit "You've never made love to one."
You breathe hitches as you glance at your boyfriend whos spread out on a chair, his hand reaching for the zipper of his pants.
"Making love is a lot like riding a motorcycle " Nahoya groans, slinking down until his face is level with your cunt."
"You can't just get on it and expect it to go right?" He asks, tongue flicking out to take kitten licks at your pussy ." Ya gotta rev it up first.
"foreplay is like revving up a girl so you can make her feel real good."
Your back arches off the mattress as his mouth latches onto your clit.
"Ya gotta take care of pretty things like this Souta."
His words send shivers down your spine and you're eyes flicker between Souta and Nahoya.
" look at him baby" Smiley groans, eating your cunt like a starved man " He's Your boyfriend after all-I'm just here to help."
You're eyes land on Angry as his cock bucks up into his fist. His head is tossed back and you don't think you've ever seen him such a whimpering mess.
"I'd say your thoroughly revved. " Smiley grins Pulling his mouth away from your cunt, Positioning himself between your legs.
"This part is important Souta," Smiley says, the pretty pink tip of his cock brushing against your entrance." Ya, can't just jam it in-You gotta f-fuck You gotta ease it in there."
You're not sure if Nahoya is bigger than Souta but his cock fills you up so nicely, your legs instinctively wrap around his waist.
"Now since you're making love with er' n not fucking her -you gotta give her nice deep thrusts -try and -fuck-try and hit her sweet spot. Nahoya moans Head resting in the crook of your neck. You can still hear Souta Whimpering.
"You'll know when you've hit that spot in her when she -
"F-Fuck -Souta I'm- It feels so good " You yell out hands grabbing onto the sheets.
"Ya here how she's calling for ya Souta-Fuck- even when I'm the one balls deep in er " Smiley shouts Hips stuttering " She really fucking loves you huh?"
And you really do love Souta, because it's him your eyes stay fixed on even as his brother is pounding into you so deliciously.
" Tell him-' Tell Souta how much you love him while you cum on my cock baby"
" Love you-Love you s'much Souta-Fuck" You whimper Shaking rapidly as your orgasm crashes through you, At the same time you hear Angry's breath hitch as he lets out a breathy "Fuck", a telltale sign he came.
Smiley pulls out smoothly cumming on your stomach.
"After you've succeeded making your pretty girl feel good, ya gotta make sure she's ok too," Smiley says, planting a kiss on your forehead, "But ill leave all that mushy shit to your actual boyfriend.
"Besides I'm sure He's at least good at aftercare right? " Smiley laughs slinking out of the room.
"Aftercare?" Angry groans. "The fuck is that?"
---
Tokyo revengers is so good yall.
But anyways likes and reposts are always welcome.
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phoenixmemes · 3 years
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❀   /   GREY’S ANATOMY (SEASON 1) SENTENCE STARTERS
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❛     don’t  bother  sucking  up  ,  i  already  hate  you.     ❜
❛     i’m  not  the  girl  in  the  bar  anymore  ,  and  you’re  not  the  guy.     ❜
❛     stop  looking  at  me  like  that  !     ❜
❛     i’m  sorry.  i  get  mean  when  i’m  tired.     ❜
❛     don’t  do  me  any  favours.     ❜
❛     some  of  us  have  to  earn  what  we  get.     ❜
❛     you  shouldn’t  let  the  fact  that  we  had  sex  get  in  the  way  of  you  taking  your  shot.     ❜
❛     we’re  gonna  survive  this  ,  right  ?     ❜
❛     i’m  not  dating  you  ,  and  i’m  definitely  not  sleeping  with  you  again.     ❜
❛     you  can  come  with  me  or  stay  here  and  be  miserable.     ❜
❛     i  need  a  drink  ,  a  man  or  a  massage.  or  a  drunken  massage  by  a  man.     ❜
❛     so  we’re  kissing  but  we’re  not  dating  ?     ❜
❛     you’re  not  the  enemy.  you’re  just  the  competition.     ❜
❛     what  is  it  with  you  guys  and  your  need  to  dirty  everything  up  ?     ❜
❛     you  see  ?  this  is  a  game  to  you.  but  not  to  me.     ❜
❛     you  do  enjoy  crossing  the  line  ,  don’t  you  ?     ❜
❛     i  have  more  important  things  to  deal  with  than  you.     ❜
❛     so  what  ,  you’re  just  going  to  repress  everything  into  some  deep  dark  twisted  place  until  one  day  you  snap  and  kill  them  ?     ❜
❛     you  wanna  see  it  ?  you  really  wanna  see  it  ?     ❜
❛     if  i  were  you  i’d  walk  around  naked  all  the  time.     ❜
❛     you  know  ,  sometimes  it  is  actually  painful  to  be  around  you.     ❜
❛     you  and  i  can  be  alone  somewhere  else.     ❜
❛     we’re  adults.  when  did  that  happen  ?  and  how  do  we  make  it  stop  ?     ❜
❛     you  have  a  very  annoying  way  of  sneaking  up  on  people.     ❜
❛     i  don’t  need  to  talk  about  it.  i  experienced  it  ,  naked.     ❜
❛     you  don’t  scare  me.     ❜
❛     what  the  hell  did  you  do  ?     ❜
❛     life  is  messy  sometimes.     ❜
❛     yeah  ,  well  ,  i’m  not  a  real  fan  of  yours  ,  either.     ❜
❛     you  are  so  my  favorite  person  today.     ❜
❛     you  can’t  do  me  favors.  and  you  can’t  treat  me  like  crap  when  i  haven’t  earned  that  either.     ❜
❛     are  you  really  as  shallow  and  callous  as  you  seem  ?     ❜
❛     oh  ,  you  want  to  go  out  for  a  drink  later  and  hear  about  my  secret  pain  ?     ❜
❛     look  ,  if  you  don’t  want  to  go  out  with  me  ,  just  say  so.  no  need  to  lie.     ❜
❛     why  do  anything  unless  you’re  willing  to  go  one  step  further  than  anybody  else  ?     ❜
❛     when  are  you  gonna  figure  out  that  i  know  everything  ?     ❜
❛     i  made  a  choice  and  i  know  you  don’t  respect  me  for  that  choice.  but  i’ll  live  with  the  consequences.     ❜
❛     it’s  just  that  i  hardly  know  anything  about  you.     ❜
❛     you  don’t  always  get  what  you  expect  ,  do  you  ?     ❜
❛     why  do  you  make  everything  so  personal  ?     ❜
❛     what  incredibly  small  fraction  of  your  brain  were  you  using  in  there  ?     ❜
❛     you  know  what  ,  there’s  really  no  need  to  explain.     ❜
❛     ok  ,  that  is  twice  that  you  have  trash-talked  the  person  that  i  could  one  day  potentially  …  well  ,  not  love  but  like  a  whole  lot.     ❜
❛     about  time  i  got  you  alone  today.     ❜
❛     are  you  sure  you  know  what  you’re  doing  ?     ❜
❛     i’ll  be  there.  i’ll  try  to  be  there.  i’ll  definitely  try.     ❜
❛     why  do  you  think  i  want  to  keep  an  eye  on  you  ?     ❜
❛     you  are  lying.  i  know  you’re  lying.  you  know  how  i  know  ?  ‘cause  you’re  a  bad  liar  !     ❜
❛     i’m  not  gonna  ruin  my  life  because  you  think  this  is  wrong.     ❜
❛     hi.  i’m  [name]  and  you  must  be  the  woman  who’s  been  screwing  my  husband.     ❜
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peeterparkr · 3 years
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red; tom's version|one.
chapter one: sad, beautiful tragic. “Long handwritten note deep in your pocket”
pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (tom's not famous here) story summary: you’re reminiscing through your relationship months after the heartbreak and breakup. Wondering if it went wrong from the very start when Tom arrived at New York, and him being a cautionary tale or if the problems came along the way. Perhaps the key to find back your way to him is going back through the nice things before the heartbreak came. Or is it too painful to go all over again?
chapter summary: you haven't seen him since he ditched you, after months of wearing plaid you go out and realize he's back in new york warnings: angsty, I mean it's a breakup, swearing. word count: 7.3k playlist (updated after each chapter, including Red songs+ other for the chapter): Spotify | Apple Music
fic masterlist next chapter
a/n: Hi, I couldn't wait to share it so I said, screw it, I'm posting this. You don't know how excited I am to write this and share it with you. As you know, this is inspired by Red by Taylor Swift and will hurt. So I expect us all to be crumpled up pieces of paper wearing scarves by the end of this. (perennial is still coming, I'm just waiting on a few people who're reading it). SPECIAL THANKS TO @erodasghosts for reading it and hyping me up and helping me figure this all out. I hope you guys all like it as much as I did. The story is set in New York. Please give feedback!
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One month after the breakup.
Strong whiskey, on the rocks. That was his drink of choice that night. The night before had been a beer. You knew you could imagine the taste of his lips by only looking at him. You wondered if he’d gone there for a second night for the same reason you had.
When you had seen him across the place the night before, you had tried to decide how to feel. We always think we will react one way or another when we see our official heartbreak walking through. Victorious as he is perfectly dressed, with his hair flowing.
He hadn’t brought her. Which you didn’t know how to feel about.
The day before you had not been alone, Jules, Matty, and Lula were there.
“Shit, the axolotl at 10 o'clock, you’ve got to be shitting me,” Lourdes, Lula, had whispered before sipping her drink, a Long Island Tea. “We are celebrating she’s doing better, can’t fucking believe this,” she hissed at Jules who only lifted her chin slightly to see who she was referring to. “What the fuck is he doing here? Ay, es que, con qué huevos se atreve a venir aquí? Que no mame.” [with what balls did he dare to come here? He shouldn’t fuck with us. ]
You loved hanging out with Lula and listening to her very refined Spanish cursing.
“It’s not him,” Julia said.
You tried looking back to see who they were referring to. “Who is—?”
“Y/N, wait I just noticed the haircut!” Matt pointed out, reaching over, getting your attention back to them and not at whatever they were referring to. “It looks great. It’s like a new you!”
This new you. The one that had been screwed over twice. Men really have the nerve when it comes to breaking hearts. They recklessly go in and let you believe love comes in all shades of colors, passionate red like the roses they send, and tender pinks like your sweet innocence that they end up stealing. But they never tell you it’ll be you all alone in a dark room with shades of grey under a flickering light that barely warms you.
The new you, which was still a bit lost. Your old self was a stranger to you now. You had no idea who this new you was, she was quiet now. Didn’t have a heart because someone had stolen it and broken it and left it behind a dumpster. Still trying to find it. The new you wasn't.. you.
Your friends were glad, however, they finally got you to go out again. After weeks of wearing plaid and watching Fleabag, and even considering watching Greys Anatomy, a low point, you had finally decided to come back to see if there was any sunshine left for you.
It’s important to point out that you had been broken-hearted and almost crazy when the breakup had happened. Very… delusional. You were not proud of the way you’d reacted. Although you wouldn’t have reacted any other way.
The city had been quiet, the red lights seemed to last longer, and the crowds would often swallow you. The city you once loved was now an open book of a relationship that seemed real, should’ve known it was all fiction.
In your dreams they’d be bright, colorful. The village is aglow. Cold days with warm hearts. Like his.
You’d been cold ever since.
“Ah, yeah, the haircut. Got it today. Lula’s idea” The haircut had come as the solution to a problem that would never be solved. As if cutting your hair meant there was something you had the power on. You didn’t.
How stupid was it? You couldn’t control your life.
“It suits her well, doesn’t it?” Lula admitted proudly.
You still had his picture engraved in your heart. You still dreamed he would come back and say it was all a nightmare.
“It’s nice, I’m glad to have you back,” Jules commented. Julia had probably been the most surprised with the news of the breakup, she had almost gone and killed Tom when he had….unimportant. She hadn’t, though, and she had yet to tell you the reason why. Julia had been mysterious since.
“I’m glad to be back,” you confirmed. You’d ordered a beer, and maybe you shouldn’t have. Stella Artois, his one favorite. You pocketed the beer cap. “Though I was not gone.”
Matt watched you, him and Julia had recently started dating. Best friends since kids who just recently confessed their feelings for each other, took them long enough. “How back are you, though?”
“Meaning?” You asked, taking a sip.
Matt shrugged, “I could introduce you to some friends from work, there’s this hot guy—“
“No,” you interrupted him, leaving the bottle down as you had almost choked. “No, no. Not in the dating area yet. Won’t be in a long time. Still healing.”
Lula still had her eyes glued elsewhere. “Healing from a bullet hole, y/n, whatever you’re doing isn’t working, and band aids won’t fix it—Jules it is, I swear to god it’s him.”
“It’s not him,” Julia rolled her eyes.
“Ay, que sí!” [he is]
“Who?” You asked.
Julia took your hands, “you know Lula,” she rolled her eyes. “I love that you ordered a beer.”
“Yeah,” you gulped. “Beer is universal language for men as in: ‘don’t get close to me.’” A lesson someone dear had taught you once.
Matt tilted his head in agreement, “Yeah.”
“Really?” Lula frowned, “should’ve ordered one. Next time I’ll ask for my drink but instead of a glass I’ll ask them to put it in a beer bottle.”
“Wouldn't it be easier to order a beer?” Matt suggested.
“But then I’d break our tradition.”
Matt watched her, “you really are something.”
You chuckled.
“Why is beer seen as not—feminine?” Matt questioned.
Julia shrugged. “It’s beyond me, really. It’s a drink.”
“Like does my drink make me less of a man?” Matt watched his glass, another Long Island Tea. A stupid inside joke you all had.
“No,” you admitted. “But you know how society is. Since it’s sweet, it’s got to be—“
“Oh, no, no, I love you, y/n, but tonight I don’t want you lecturing us on it, no, tonight we are having fun, ok?” Lula reminded you. “We will not talk about femininity or lack of a beer—or whatever your agenda is up to these days, which, hey! Why does y/n get to break the rule?” Lula questioned. “No Long Island Tea?
Julia glared at her, “Because she can do whatever she wants tonight,” she hissed and then turned to you. “But how are you feeling? It’s your first time going out in months, is it as fun?” Julia was the one to try to cheer you up the most.
No, it wasn’t fun.
“I—feel good!” You lied. Although you were not. But you guessed that’s the response they wanted after seeing you laying down on the ground and crying yourself to sleep. Staring at windows and walking down in the rain. They wanted you to feel better.
Your body was covered in scars.Though, they were from adventures.
“Bullshit,” Lula intruded. “You seem sad. Maybe I’ll get some shots,” she announced before going to get some.
“Well,” you chuckled. “My first time going out and you bring me back to the place where it all started?” You answered cynically but then shrugged. “I’m—I…no. I just—It’s weird. I still see him everywhere, and as I’m here it’s like watching a movie of our greatest moments,” you admitted. “Like hey, look over there, it’s Tom and Y/N’s greatest moments,” you stated, Lula got back. “Let’s start memory lane…”and you sighed and continued with the best presenter voice you had. “Here you’ll wonder how the hell did it go so wrong since they were so perfect, what the hell went wrong, when did it turn into some sad stupid love affair. You’ll be asking yourself hey, they seemed in love, over there, they danced! Over there… they sang a song together! See over there? There was a fucking jukebox in which they have memories! Oh they have memories there too! And you’ll ask yourself, he made it seem real, what the hell happened?” You sighed exhaustedly. “What happened? What the fuck happened? How was I so stupid?” You ran your hands through your face.
Your friends only watched you, with pity, sadness. Even Lula had turned her gaze guilty.
You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“No,” Lula sighed, “it’s our fault for bringing you here. We’re fucking idiots. Besides he is—Julia I swear to god, he is there.” Lula raised her hand and Julia quickly pulled it down.
Julia bit her lip, “I—hadn’t realized how much Tom there is here.”
“Yeah.”
“He called me—“Matt had started.
“No, no, we can’t talk about him, baby,” Julia reminded him. Matt widened his eyes and nodded.
You blinked, “no, it’s—He called you? Tom?” Why had Tom called Matty? What for?
“Yeah, had a missed call,” Matt explained, ignoring his girlfriend. “I—it was this morning.”
You felt your chest twist. “Yeah, I get a lot of those too.”
Perhaps he wanted to talk to you and thought Matty was dumb enough to give you the phone.
Julia glared at Matt. “We promised not to—“
“No, hey,” you stopped her. “I—sorry, I brought him up.”
“But we shouldn’t talk about him,” Julia insisted. “Tonight is all about having fun,” she stated as she handed everyone their shots.
“No, it’s alright,” you said. “I’m fine talking about it.”
Lula turned her gaze to you. “Shouldn’t you hate him?”
Were you supposed to hate someone who gave you something so beautiful? Just because it’s over doesn’t mean you have to look back and hate it.
“No,” you answered simply.
Matt watched you. “Wait, really?”
You took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m—I decided I’m thankful for everything. He really… I… I mean I knew from the start he was trouble. But he got me to get rid of Will. So I’m thankful for Tom. He showed me some beautiful things about him, about myself and… I’m thankful. Even the part when he broke my heart.”
It was a lie. Partly. You had been so full of doubts that you only tried wondering why it had gone so wrong. Or course, the lie was there. His lies. But how could any of it be a lie?
Julia smiled gently, “You’re really a grown up.”
“Or very stupid.” Lula commented.
“Thanks, Lula, I appreciate it,” you rolled your eyes. “I… well, I’ve gotta admit I was pretty stupid.”
Lula shrugged, “Hey, I don’t blame you, boy came in with an accent, he had a cute smile, he was hot, I must admit, and he wasn’t one of those Brooklyn fuckboys that take you to the rooftop and offer you a whiteclaw to watch the sunrise together,” Lula gave in.
“Oh, and they take candid pictures, and they say that their phone camera isn’t as good as their polaroid,” Julia laughed, “But hey, you’re lucky they took you to the rooftop, they never take anyone there, they took you there just because you’re…”
“Different,” Julia, Lula and you chanted.
Matt laughed, “You guys are the worst.”
“Anyway,” Lula said. “We should drink these,” she pointed at the shot glasses as she raised her own. “I came here to get drunk. So, to Y/N being thankful Tom was a piece of shit even when the boy had a dreamy accent?”
You closed your eyes, and let out a defeated dry chuckle. “Yes, to that.”
“To the piece of shit, then!” Lula grinned as the shots clinked and were downed. You instantly regretted drinking it.
Lula scowled as she had her eyes glued back at the bar, “It’s him, Julia, it’s him! What is he doing here? Pendejo, I swear to god I’ll go kill him.” She was furious, and you tried once again following her gaze.
The bar was crowded, red lights crossed around the place, with girls walking with tall heels, trying to smile and nod at guys who were talking to them but clearly were not of interest to them. Friends laughing, people flirting. You didn’t know who your friends were watching.
But the bar seemed to be enough of a reminder of him. How he had made you feel like crowds were never there, and how whenever you had been with him everything disappeared just to be with him.
“Who are we killing?” You questioned.
“Is new y/n a murderer?” Asked Matt. Matt and Julia were your oldest friends. The three of you grew up in Staten Island, and now moved to the crowded places.
Lula coughed. “Hope she is.” Lula, on the other hand, you’ve met in college, she was a very defined addition to the friend group. With more personality. A strong one. Lula, Julia and you shared a small apartment.
Julia cleared her throat.
“The fucking scarf,” Lula scowled.
“What scarf?” Matt asked. And you had the same question.
Julia whispered to her boyfriend’s ear who had turned cold. He lifted his head.
“But it’s not.”
“It is him,” Matt confirmed to Lula. “Jules, it is.”
And now your three friends were acting strange. Usually they did but this was strang-er. They all shared looks, Julia struggled with her hands.
They were watching you with pity but you’d gotten used to that. After the breakup they had been extra careful around you, kinder, you guessed.
Fools they were to believe that by not mentioning him you wouldn’t think of him. He was a memory that would haunt you for the rest of the days.
“So, y/n,” Julia was clearly hiding whatever Lula was seeing.
“Wasn’t he in London? What in this fucking world is he doing here?” Lula continued.
“Shut up!” Julia ordered.
“London?” You asked and you lifted your head, and any noise that was bustling before had stopped.
Tom.
Tom was there.
Thomas.
Tom who had broken your heart. In every possible way that he could’ve. Like he had planned it. Like he was aware.
He was there, on a stool with a beer in his hand and wearing a red scarf. The red scarf. As if he was mocking you.
Tom.
Did he pride on hurting you?
He had always said you were invincible. That you were unrivaled in matters of the heart. Was he proud he had beaten the unbeaten?
You’d always thought he would.
When we love deeply, getting hurt comes as a given. But when we love deeply, we are never expecting it to come. And when it does come the skies cannot turn grayer. Funny thing, you were a fan of the rain but when the rain doesn’t cease, the hope doesn’t perdure.
But he was back in your life. Or at least he had been in the same room as you after months.
What was he doing back in New York with your scarf?
You turned back to your own table, breathing in quickly, bringing your hand to your chest in an attempt to calm yourself down.
You saw your friends speaking but you couldn’t make a word of what they’re saying. Your heart was rushing. Thomas was there. Tom. Your Tom. And there was a part of you that had completely forgotten over the heartbreak and wanted to run to him.
Kiss him, try to fix it. Try to bring back the beautiful thing you both had. Because it was. And it hurt looking back.
You were having trouble breathing now, the heartbreak had come.
That’s the worst thing about heartbreak. You never saw it coming, though you should’ve. Though it was beautiful you’d known from the start you’d end up hurt. But when a lie is crafted so beautifully, how could you?
“It’s him.” The words had come in whispers.
You barely remembered what had happened next. You had only stood up, decisive to leave, you’d seen him try to walk his way to you. You’d heard him call your name, but you hadn’t turned back, you had seen Matty stop him from running to you.
It was blurry. You didn’t know how you got home. Desperately trying to understand why he was there and how the night had turned too badly.
Lula and Matt had come back later to find Julia trying to comfort you, hugging a pillow that you were sure he had slept on. Breathless.
But it was in the past now, you were there again. Same bar, both in stools far away.
You were almost sure he’d gone to that bar in hopes of finding you again.
Just like you’d gone again.
His eyes the night before were guilty. You only took a deep breath, you remembered trying to avoid his glance at any chance as you had walked out.
Why were you there again?
That feeling in your chest growing, like there was something heavy expanding. Yet your stomach falling smaller. The pain was but a shield, as if it was creating a special protection around your heart, and though it hurt it was enough for it to make your heart strong to leave the place.
You didn’t want to see Tom. You hadn’t talked to him since. Even when he’d tried to call. Even when you’d tried calling.
Not when you had replayed the breakup over and over and over again since he was gone.
Everyone deals with breakups in different ways. Yours, specifically, was avoiding it. Everything and everyone. Especially Tom.
It was hard when he was everywhere. In that tattoo he’d convinced you to get, in that ring he’d left, in that cereal box that you still hadn’t finished. Whenever you listened to a song he’d recommended. Whenever you’d open Netflix and that series you had started watching together was still recommended to you even when you’d deleted it.
Everywhere.
You couldn’t use your favorite colors because you could hear it, in the back of your head “I love how it looks on you.” “You should wear more blue, it suits you.”
Even your stupid laugh remind you of him. “Your laugh is the most wonderful thing I’ve heard, even if it’s so ugly.”
You missed the person you were when he was with you. How everything was happy. Who was that y/n? Who didn’t mind if she was slightly late to a place because he’d come with you? Who didn’t feel alone at parties when she knew nobody because you knew him?
A y/n that existed only for a short period of time when he’d been around and that he’d shattered like glass when he had the chance.
You missed that y/n.
The y/n that would sometimes lose her breath and catch it back when he walked into the room. A y/n that sang along to her favorite songs all day. The one that would give her heart in a rush to him. The one that watched movies no matter if they were good or not.
Life had colors back then.
Now you were full of regrets and of doubts. Wondering what you had done wrong? Where did it lead you?
You looked up at him then. He was staring down at his glass.
There was a slight trace of him still there, the Tom you once loved. The one with the silly smile and the gentle chuckle, the one with the jokes about everything.
You wondered how much of that y/n he saw too.
You were the same two people, in essence. But how different you were now.
The Tom you knew before finding out it was a lie.
There was still a hint. You knew. But there was so much of him in you that it was hard to see if you still were there. Or the Tom you thought you knew. Not the one with the lie. Or maybe this was the truest Tom he could ever be.
He had to move on, rather quickly, you recalled. If he ever did.
There was a stupid reminder of you in his hand, that red scarf from the very first day.
You still remembered how it all started, a stupid red scarf. He kept it, then, and he wore it.
You had ordered a beer, too. You pocketed the cap again.
But there was an image in your mind, maybe he had gone back and probably had his arm around her and he laughed at a joke she made. Maybe she was funnier than you. Definitely prettier, with her hair falling down all the way to her waist, her clothing accentuating everything you didn’t have.
You recalled having to leave the room when you found out. You had been a mess.
Leaning against a wall as you caught your breath before the tears came down, as if he had pierced right through it. A pain chest that had expanded all the way on your body, not sure how you were able to keep walking back to your place. Falling down to your knees when you did.
Pain. Words failed to describe such a deep sentiment.
But it was gone now. Not entirely but at least you could hold your breath fine when he was just across the room.
What went wrong?
You could ask him. He was right there.
Maybe even tell him how you had lost sight. He hadn’t walked up to you. He was nervous, but he seemed calm enough to see you were there. You were still unsure why you had gone there.
Maybe all the good things were enough to bring you there, maybe the fact that you still didn’t believe it was a lie brought you there. Maybe the fact that one of those pictures from that photobooth was still in a locket. So stupid.
He fiddled with the glass.
You waited and waited but he didn’t approach you. He took out a paper out of his pocket as he stared at it.
You wouldn’t approach him. No matter how happy he had made you once, you wouldn’t walk to him. No matter how beautiful it was. No matter if you were lonely and that when you dared to sleep he’d be haunting your dreams.
It was a tragedy now. What you both were, and not even worth enough to try and save it. You knew you were haunting him too. Otherwise he wouldn’t be here.
He was shakin, as he stared at you, nervous. He downed his drink, you guessed it was for some liquid courage and stood up, with the note in one hand and your red scarf in the other.
Your own courage for coming here was gone, as you saw his intentions, the urge to run you had the night before was becoming you. But he couldn’t walk. He had to sit down again, rubbing his face.
The courage that had come when choosing what Lula called the ‘revenge black dress’ was nowhere in sight. You were cold and regretting putting it on.
“I can’t do this,” you said to yourself and quickly let out some dollars to pay for your drink before picking up your stuff to leave.
You saw he panicked when he saw you leaving, he quickly called the bartender to pay for his drink.
You closed your coat as you were shaking yourself, punishing yourself for going there. Why had you gone there? The man had broken your heart? Were you really there to see him?
Was your heart foolish enough to ignore the warnings in your mind once again?
You walked your way to get to the subway station, how irrelevant you were through the crowds. You hadn’t felt this way for a while, caring for the crowds. But you had to get through them. There was a part of you that wished Tom was following you after. But the crowds didn’t let you see if he was.
Besides, you shouldn’t want that.
You finally managed to get to the station, you clung to your purse as you stared at the tracks, waiting for the next train to come. Peaceful it seemed, the station. As peaceful as New York could be. You guessed if you cried nobody would care.
“y/n!” You heard your name in the distance and you couldn’t handle it.
You took a deep breath and shook your head, angrily. Why had you gone? You could’ve easily kept ignoring his calls. You could’ve stayed in your apartment, crying as you watched SNL videos on youtube, or rewatching a cartoon for the hundredth time, letting your own sadness and self pity swallow you.
But you had gone to him. This was your fault. You should’ve taken a cab, instead, he would know you’d get at this station and he for sure would know what train you’d take.
“y/n, y/n!” He kept calling as he finally arrived next to you. “Sorry I would’ve gotten here faster but the damn MetroCard-”
“I’m not doing this, Tom,” you stated before he could go on rambling like the idiot he was. You couldn’t do it. “Not here, not anywhere. I don’t know what you’re doing here.”
“I…” His face was kind, and he seemed to be nervous. You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping, probably the jet lag.
You took a moment to look at him, he didn’t look as victorious as you had thought he was. His hair was messy, and his cheeks flushed, the buttons on his shirt were not buttoned right.
Seeing him again, with that signature look he had made you want to go down to your knees.
“Aren’t you supposed to be back in London?” You snapped. “With that pretty girl-”
“No, no, I’m-I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” Tom stuttered. “I was an idiot.”
You stared into his eyes, you were not ready for this. You were not ready to look into his stupid eyes. You looked away. “That’s all you have to say?” You tried walking away from him..
He shook his head. “No, no, no, no, I… No, I actually… I had this… I wrote down my apology,” Tom confessed. He showed you a sad, handwritten paper, now slightly teared up with the ink running. “I… I had….”
You looked down at it, his messy handwriting, crinkled with words scratched down. “You wrote it down?”
You didn’t know why you felt your heart warm. This kind of stuff was why you couldn’t understand what had happened. Someone like him, who writes his apologies down. Someone who stutters when he’s speaking.
“Yeah, I… but I spilled my drink on it after seeing you fled,” He explained, swallowing hard. “I… I… I had written it down so I wouldn’t forget it but now I realize how stupid that is… I’m… I’m really sorry, y/n.” .
You could hear the train coming. You were seeing him again. It hit you right there. And this was not the reaction you thought. You had said you would be delusional, crying and fighting and questioning him why the fuck he had done that.
Yet you weren’t. You were only watching him, eyes full of tears wanting to slide down but unable to. But there was that pain still in your chest.
How could he ever dare to hurt you that way? “I don’t want to talk to you,” you said. And meant it. “Please leave me alone.” You said before walking into the train.
“Y/N, please, no, please, please, listen to me,” He followed you in, the scarf still in his hand.
You tried sitting as far away as you could. Arms and legs crossed as you tried breathing in.
He sat beside you and you changed seats. He sighed but followed you again. “Please, I need to talk to you. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Well you did,” you snapped. “You did, and now you come here a month later with a handwritten note apology thinking I will be fine with it?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I had to solve-Please, would you listen?” Tom asked, knowing damn well he had to ask, and not just straight up blurt it out.
“Why would I, Tom?” You turned to him, with a tear traveling down your cheek. You were incredulous. “You’re kidding me, right? I… You… You think that just because you show up with that stupid face of yours and my scarf I’ll want to listen to you? You’re an idiot.”
He sighed and reached to give you the scarf. You ignored it.You were furious now.
The other people on the train were certainly getting a show. A guy with a backpack was trying to pretend he wasn’t listening but his reactions were giving it away. Another woman pretended to keep reading her book but she hadn’t turned any pages.
Tom took the scarf back staring at it. “I need to explain everything to you.”
“What if I don’t want an explanation?” You snapped. Though you did. You had been waiting for one, you wanted one. You would beg for it. But your pride was taking the wheel of the conversation. “Don’t you think it’s fucking late for it?”
“Is it?” Tom turned back to you.
“Yes!” You couldn’t believe him. But this seemed a bit too familiar of a conversation. “And beside no explanation would make me forgive you!” You stated, whispering, not wanting any of the attention you were receiving.
“I’m not… I… If you just listen to me,” Tom said.
You glared, “I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“Then why did you come to the bar?” He asked.
He fucking asked.
Your eyes widened. He had gone there. He knew. He fucking knew you’d gone back because you wanted an explanation. Or so he thought. No, you’d gone back because… Yes, because you wanted an explanation. Because everything he’d done had been beautiful. Until the heartbreak. He had crafted and vexed his way into your cold stupid heart and then he had gone and pierced right through it, crushed it.
You wanted to ask why. Why did he do it so vehemently?
You didn’t answer, instead you moved one seat away. He kept his eyes on you.
“You wouldn’t have gone if you didn’t want an explanation,” he said. “Or to see me, at least. I know I did, I needed to see you.”
You saw the guy with the backpack purse his lips, knowing that Tom had got you. There was little context for them. The girl with the book directed a glance to you, trying to read your emotions.
If they knew, they’d be on your side and yelling at him as well.
He rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his face.
“I didn’t, it was a coincidence,” you answered coldly.
“No, it bloody wasn’t,” Tom scoffed and then sat up. “No, I’m… No, but you know, you went to the bar for a reason.”
“And I left for a million more,” you frowned.
Tom pursed his lips and took out the paper again, trying to make out whatever he’d written before. “I’m really sorry.” His eyes traced through the note.
“Are you genuinely trying to read it? Don’t you know what you’re supposed to apologize for?”
Tom looked up, “So you do want me to apologize?”
The guy with the backpack squeezed his eyes shut, knowing Tom had fucked up.
“You’re kidding, right? Yes, you have to apologize, what you did is really, really shitty!” You pointed out.
“But you won’t forgive me, then?” Tom watched you.
“I don’t know,” you said and he looked up, a beaming gaze. “No, I won’t.”
He wrinkled his eyes, “I… I know I’m supposed to apologize, not to expect you to forgive. I'm just…”
He gulped, and then sat back, staring at the dirty walls and lights. He had dressed up. Badly, but he had tried looking good, you could tell. You could smell his lotion, too.
He was fiddling with the paper, crumpling up and then it fell to the floor. You looked at it and somehow related to it, not sure how.
You took a deep breath so you wouldn’t kill him and turned to him. “I have questions for you, if you answer them I might consider listening to you.”
Tom’s eyes brightened up. “Yes, yes, anything.”
You eyed him up and down as he watched you with begging eyes. You avoided his gaze. Tom followed your gaze as you tried to figure out what was the first thing you could ask him. Why had he hurt you?
Why did he not stop and think before making you fall in love with him?
Why did he not stop and tell you the truth?
“Where are you staying?” You asked,
Tom blinked. “Is that… is that the question?”
“No, but I know you don’t know how to fucking get anywhere,” you said.
Tom gulped, “I… uh, again with Harrison,” he explained.
You sighed. You remembered Harrison alright. And though there was a petty part inside you, you would help him out. Knowing he’d always get lost in the city. Though you could let him get lost, so you’d have to go after him and spend a bit more time. With an excuse, because you didn’t seem to have any excuse to be with him.
It hurt. What hurt the most was trying not to look back at the incredible moments you had because none of them were true.
You sighed. “Okay, when we get down you’ll take the F train—“
Tom stopped you, taking your hand. “No, wait, I don’t care if I get lost, okay, I… I just.”
You snatched your hand away from his cold hands he had. You darkened your gaze at him.
“Please, Y/n, I just need a chance. If you don’t want to listen… maybe I’ll just…” He handed you the note.
You crossed your arms, and tapped your foot, trying to decide whether or not to give it to him. “Fine,” you took the note.
You've gotten to your stop. So you stood up.
The girl with the book and the guy with the backpack watched you both as you walked out, pitying they couldn’t follow the drama.
Tom followed after you, he licked his lips. “You… you had questions, right?”
“Yeah.” You nodded, taking yet another heavy breath. You turned on your feet to look at him “One, did you lie to me?”
Tom was taken back by this, his eyes, consternated, only watched you. He gulped. “What?”
“Did you lie to me?
“I… well.”
You were getting desperate. “Did you ?”
“I didn’t lie about how I felt,” he said. You knew he wasn’t lying about it. He couldn’t. He couldn’t have ever lied about how he felt because you knew he had felt it too, a bit, at least,
You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.”
“I mean it, I…” Tom gulped. “I really liked you.”
“Yeah, I know, you liked me yadda, yadda,” you started. Liked not loved. “Cut the bullshit for once, did you or did you not lie to me?”
Tom took a deep breath. “Yes. But I had feelings for you.”
You bit your inner cheeks. “Uh-huh, yes, okay, good, yes, you acknowledge it. So, we have two statements here, Tom. You say you had feelings yet you lied to me,” you squinted. “Sounds-”
Tom gulped and avoided your gaze. “I know yes,” he looked down. “But, if you give me-”
“Ah, buh-buh, nope, I’m just gathering my thoughts here,” you coughed. “I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me what you felt.”
Tom shook his head in confusion. “I—I’m”
“Go on,” you motioned your hand.
“Y/N,” he said. And the way he dared to say your name was like having a knife right through you. “I had—I have feelings for you,” he said looking right into your eyes.
He didn’t say what feelings.
You were not sure where you wanted to go with this. “Fine, my next question…” you really didn’t know where this was going. “So, alright, you…” You couldn’t even phrase it. “You… made me fall in love with you knowing….Well, we both know what you did. What you hid from me. You’re a liar who made me—“
Tom took a deep breath. “Yes, but I didn’t… plan that.”
Your eyes widened. “Oh, so it’s my fault?” You stepped back. “Sorry for developing feelings for you. Sorry for ruining your life—“
Tom closed his eyes, “No, no, look, I… wasn’t. I didn’t come here expecting to meet you, I didn’t want… It just happened, okay, I never thought—You're making it sound like it’s some big master plan. I—I never planned—I never would’ve ever planned on hurting you.”
You watched him, incredulous. “Thomas you do realize what you did to me?”
“I do.”
“No, you don’t! You’re trying to make me seem like I’m crazy for not even wanting to talk to you!” You called him out.
“I’m not, I’m just saying that if you’re here—you must miss it too, you know it was too real, and you want it back, possibly—M-maybe not, but if you came to the bar tonight it was in hopes of finding me again because you knew I’d be there, and you want to feel how you felt before, and i just… you know I miss it and that you knew I didn’t lie—“
You glared at him. “You did lie!”
“Okay—yes, yes I did—But not entirely, I just happened to omit one truth—“
“One very important truth,” you snarked.
“Fine but—please listen,” he tried to convince you. “and I’m sorry, okay? I—I didn’t want to hurt you. But I never planned this. It just happened. I didn’t come here expecting to fall in love with anyone, I didn’t come here trying to date, and I never expected it to be someone as complex—“
“Complex?”
“Yes, I never came to New York trying to find the most mental relationship I’ve ever had—“
“Mental?” You snapped.
“Yes! I love you but you’re fucking crazy! And I am too! I’m fucking crazy and mental but I—I—I loved being crazy and mental with you! We are fucking mental! Driving to nowhere? Breaking into places? Getting a jukebox on the subway? That’s mental! But—but I love that about you, alright? Don’t you get it? I could’ve stayed in London, I could've been the asshole who just ditched you and lied to you—“
You scoffed. “Well that’s comforting!”
“But I’m—I’m here, ain’t I? And I know I fucked up, I know, I accept that, I’m the asshole here, and I know you’ll never—I hid it from you because I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t even get it myself. I’m here to give you my version of it. I didn’t realize I was falling in love with you…I am…,I am in love with you, and I never planned that, I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with someone else, it just happened. I may have thought it was just—Some fling, initially.”
You laughed cynically. “A fling.”
He gulped. “And the moment I realized what was really going on—”
“You left, that’s what you fucking did, when you realized it was way too real for you, you destroyed the one real thing you’ve ever known,” you barked, he stepped back. “I fell in love with you, I—I—and then you ditched me, and I thought that was the worst thing you could ever do to me but then I realized that it wasn’t real! I—you were never mine, Tom! I simply was—a break you needed or—a fling.”
“It wasn’t that—“
You watched him. Looking so innocent, kind eyes and tender lips. You would’ve believed him had he come before.
“You used me!” You snapped, the words that had wanted to come for a while just blurted out. “I just can’t believe you,” you said. “You don’t feel sorry.” You shook your head, your voice was cracking. “You're not sorry because you don’t understand. You don’t know what I went through, and if you had come earlier, if you hadn’t left me, I probably would have believed you. But—No! No!” You stepped back. “No!”
“I did call! You never picked up the phone! I tried—“Tom started.
“Was I really expected to pick it up? Let’s get back to it. Shall we? The facts. Did you or did you not date me? And made me fall in love with you?”
Tom sighed. “I—yes.”
“Did you lie?”
“…yes.”
You nodded. “Was I the other one?”
Tom squinted his eyes. “No… yes, no.”
You took a deep breath. “Did you leave me without an explanation?”
Tom looked down. “I did.”
“Did you ditch me?”
Tom looked everywhere and nowhere. “Yes,” he answered, defeated.
“Now, do you think I can ever forgive you?”
Tom didn’t answer.
You reached for your purse, for the locket that dug deep inside. “I don’t know you,” you stated giving him the locket, the stupid locket you’d bought as a joke when making fun of other couples and now laughed in your face. “Whatever happened means nothing. Because that’s the thing Tom. Everything we lived was a lie, those two people in the locket are not us, because you weren’t who you said you were, no matter how much I loved it, it’s not true and though it was too many emotions all at once I’m—It’s not real, not for you. I spent this whole time thinking I wanted you to apologize but I don’t want it. That charming guy wasn’t truly you because you omitted one very important thing. You—What were you thinking? Were you planning to never say it? Or did you plan it like that? Just ditching me, hoping I wouldn’t find out—“
Tom took a deep breath. “No—No, I didn’t. I just—-I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you and I should’ve fixed it before—-“
“No, no you didn’t because it wasn’t enough for you.”
Tom gulped, “It was, it was—-the best thing I’ve ever had.”
“And you ruined it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“How little words mean when you’re a little too late, huh?” And that was the cue you needed to walk away. He silently watched you as you tried not to cry.
“I’m really sorry.” He said.
Was he?
“What if I try to prove it to you?” He asked as you were steps away from him.
You didn’t stop.
“If we go over this, you’ll see I never lied about it.” He continued.
“I already went over it, I remember everything, Tom, and maybe that’s why I don't want to talk to you.”
Tom walked behind, slowly. “I just happened to be very unlucky when it came to my own circumstances,” he reached over. “And I wish the timing had been better. But you’re right, it’s the one real thing I’ve ever had and I lost it because I hid something in fear of losing you. I lied because it was too good to be true. And I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me but I think you deserve to know why. But you went to the bar for a reason, and you had the locket for another.”
You stopped this time. Looking down at the floor and then at his hand, holding your stupid scarf. You shook your head, you really didn’t want to go through it all over again.
“I know you won’t forgive me,” he stated. “But I can’t let you go. You’re everywhere. And I miss the person I was when you were around, and I won’t stop fighting because you’re everywhere. Dreams, nightmares.”
Funny. You were his demons too.
“Am I haunting your nightmares?” You asked. Tom only watched you.
He took a deep breath. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just need—I really need you to listen to my version.”
“Fine then, let’s go down this sad, beautiful tragic love affair.”
-
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1kook · 4 years
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youtube & use lube
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part 7 of my netflix and chill collection!
summary: You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube.  warnings: smut in the forms of nipple play, handjobs, spit kink, face riding, unprotected, flavored warming lube, riding, praise kink, soft femdom, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, tit sucking, more jk has an impreg kink, oh and this is all subby kook rating: mature (18+) miscellaneous: domesticity baby!! fluff, soft scenes /.\, jk is sick:((, doyeon is A Doctor, yn sees an opportunity and she grabs it, surprise ending <3  word count: 8.7k  
notes: finally…. 7 parts later and we get ~✨💓sub kook💓✨~ this was honestly my fave to write I think because I was obSESSEDDD with his softness and yn leading hehe /.\ also yeah we time jumped 6 months bc uhmmm 😎 story progression also here’s [ THE KOOK U SHOULD IMAGINE FOR THIS 😡 ] also if see a typo ummm no u didn't .
let me know what u think! a simple ask goes a long way <3
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Despite what past experiences may dictate, Jungkook’s body is actually quite resilient. It’s due in part to his obnoxiously healthy lifestyle; avocado breakfasts, gym rat tendencies, and a normal person’s circadian rhythm (you could never relate). He lives the life health professionals can only dream of writing down in their notes, so careful of his well-being that it’s almost annoying. Of all the habits you help him break, the rituals he sometimes forgets, his health is never one and it’s actually one he ropes you into quite often. The ladder accident last summer had truly been an odd occurrence, and for a while after, you doubt anything else will ever happen to him. 
And then winter comes. 
Now, Jungkook, with all his superior bodily systems and strict lifestyle, is still not immune to the common cold. So when he comes down with a stuffy nose, a saggy frame, you’re not too surprised. It’s right after New Year’s, which you had spent it at one of Taehyung’s classic overcrowded parties this year, shivering on a rooftop as he kissed you silly under the fireworks, so one of you was bound to get sick. And you were sick for Halloween, so it’s only the universe’s way of leveling the playing field when he gets sick after New Years. 
What does surprise you is when he doesn’t bounce back right away. Usually, Jungkook’s high caliber immune system has him in tip top shape about two days later. But this time around, it takes a while. In fact, it takes longer than usual, and you don’t realize until you’re coming over on a Friday night, met with an unusual silence at the Jeon household. 
As you slowly grew accustomed to your life out of school, you and Jungkook accepted that you didn’t really have time to be glued to each other’s hips at all hours of the day. It was only natural that sometimes you had too much work, were too tired, or were just not in the mood to visit each other. That was fine, and you’ve come to quite appreciate this new routine, because it only made your heart flutter faster than before when you did see him next. You don’t have to see each other everyday, and that was fine; it was part of growing up together (and growing old together, your sappy heart says).
But today, this separation ends up being your downfall. Jungkook first showed signs of a cold on Monday, and now it was Friday and you hadn’t heard from him in two days. You’re beginning to suspect he’s come down with something severe— maybe that strain of the flu that he forgot to get vaccinated for this year —or even worse, dead.
Luckily, Jungkook isn’t dead, just sadly slumped across the end of his bed, nose a bright red and hair a tangled mess. “Oh no,” you frown, but there’s not an ounce of distress in your voice, because boy, was he cute. 
He groans at the sight of you. “Don’t look at me,” he whimpers, hands fisting the sheets. “I’m ugly.”
You bite down on a smile, hang your bag on the hook behind his bedroom door. He’s barely making an effort to stay on the bed, clinging to the side with such powerless hands. “Absolutely hideous,” you play along, arms wrapping around his middle. Registering your touch, your support, he immediately releases what little grip he had and almost sends the two of you tumbling to the ground. “My poor baby,” you croon, manhandling him back into the comfort of his sheets. 
Perhaps the reason you believed Jungkook was so immune was because, well, he never let you see him sick. 
He was picky about his presentation to the world, always wanting to show his best side. And well, you were in that world. Hell, you were probably the main person he wanted to show off for (not to toot your own horn), so he avidly avoided showing you his unpleasant sides. Even in college, when you had been practically stuck to his side, he had always made a big deal of pushing you away when he was sick, calling off dates and hiding away at his house. 
You sort of knew why. Namjoon had told you once that Jungkook when drunk was the equivalent of a needy, whiny baby. You could attest to that because wine drunk Jungkook and vodka drunk Jungkook were quite the experiences to haul home. And apparently Jungkook when sick was more or less the same. He was all doe eyes and pouty lips, magnified by his weakened appearance. He was adorable. 
He’s wearing a lot of layers, but it’s still winter so you don’t think too much of it. Dark long sleeve sweatshirt, the front tucked into some cute brown and black checkered pants. You see it as just some casual at home attire until you reach for his covers, hand brushing his hair from his face, only to find it ice cold. 
“Oh, you’re freezing, honey,” you frown, for real this time. Jungkook whimpers, snuggles into the sheets you pull up to his chin. He dozes off soon after, pouty lips chapped to hell and back. You reach for your chapstick, deciding to get one good use of it on your own lips before contaminating it with Jungkook’s sick germs. Even in his sleep he’s a good boy, rolling his lips together after you’ve applied it on him. 
With Jungkook knocked out, you pad back downstairs and into his kitchen. You can more or less infer that he’s come down with something a little more intense than a cold. His skin was cold, and his nose was runny, but, oddly enough, he wasn’t sweating. You decide to consult a professional. 
“The little gremlin is sick?” Doyeon repeats, a comforting buzz in your ear as you get to work making Jungkook your famous Get Better Soon Soup, idly waiting for the water to boil over. You confirm. Doyeon, legend that she was, accidentally sat an entire physiology class one semester (and passed), so this is the closest you’ll get to a doctor friend. “Hm,” she says, “what’re his symptoms?”
You press your phone between your ear and shoulder, clattering around Jungkook’s kitchen for ingredients. “Runny nose and colder than your ass that one time you passed out in the snow,” you supply. “Oh, but not sweating.”
Doyeon hums over the line, tells you to give her a second, and disappears. “WebMD is saying fever, but you said he’s not sweating?” You confirm again. “Throw him in front of the heater and make him sweat then. He has to burn it out somehow.”
“I can’t do that,” you sigh, pausing when you hear some vague sound from around the house. It’s not Jungkook, so you return to your call. Anyway, Jungkook’s house is, like, perfect. Always warm when need be and always cold as well. You don’t even think he knows what a space heater is. “He’s sick sick. Like, can barely hold himself up sick.” 
She scoffs. “And I care why?” You huff, go to scold her for their weird rivalry, but then she’s moving on. “Babe, just give him some pain relief and call it a day.”
“Fine,” you mumble. “Wait, can you look something else up for me?”
Anyway, Jungkook probably has a fever, except it’s weird because he’s not sweating it out. He wakes up about an hour later, but this time he’s more self aware. He eats his soup and takes the medicine you offer him. Afterwards, he can’t go back to sleep so he huffily asks for his iPad and begins watching some weirdly specific YouTube videos you don’t think you’ve ever seen him watch before. 
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You have absolutely no idea what he’s watching, some niche videos of guys in Singapore turning random forest areas into underwater pools? You don’t know. Jungkook seems interested, though, for all of ten minutes until he falls asleep again. 
He’s still cold, poor baby, nose like an ice cube that just won’t melt. You find a heating pad you left over in his closet and place it on his chest. Your thought process is that if his heart, the source of all energy, was warm, then certainly the rest of him will warm up soon enough. Yeah, you missed the last three seasons of Grey’s Anatomy; you were a little rusty. 
So with Jungkook fast asleep and nothing else to do, you assume the age-old, patriarchal task of cleaning around the house. 
His house was usually neat and tidy, mostly as a result of Jungkook’s virgo manifestations, but even those varied. His living room tended to be spotless, but his personal office was a different story. But with him having been out of it this past week, the entire house is littered in tiny garbage that would make Normal Jungkook burst a blood vessel.
There’s a pile of Reese’s wrappers in the downstairs bathroom, on the sink next to his toothbrush. The sight makes you sad, because your poor boy must have been struggling if he was eating candy in the bathroom, where he… uses the bathroom. And then that thought makes you even sadder, thinking back to all the times he was sick and alone, fending for himself out of his weird embarrassment of showing normal body functions. 
You had thought he was cute when you first arrived— he still was —but he was also so weak and frail, bulky muscles rendered useless by whatever bacteria was attacking his body, making him sleepy and in pain for god knows how long. With a resolute nod, you sweep all the wrappers into the trash and decide to do your very best at helping Jungkook get through this sickness and bounce back better than ever. 
Before leaving his bathroom, you ransack his cabinets, deciding he probably keeps most of his antibiotics here. It’s a spot you never really snoop around, because Jungkook always keeps a fully stocked basket in his closet filled with your typical necessities— from conditioner to pads to nail polish remover, he kept it all. And furthermore, you always tended to use his upstairs bathroom anyway, so that’s where your toothbrush and the like were kept. There was really no need for you to ever look through the downstairs bathroom’s cabinet. So the downstairs bathroom cabinet is practically the other side of the world to you, a culture shock so strong it has you plopping down in front of it to thoroughly sift through. 
He’s got a disgusting amount of hair products, none of which you actually think you’ve ever seen him use, and a maniacal amount of tooth stuff. Now, you were quite possibly the biggest proponent for dental care, but this was ridiculous. Four packs of floss on reserve, and about three cases of those dental picks. A whole family pack of toothbrushes and one of those cute little cases for his retainer you’ve seen a few times. 
So overwhelmed with his ungodly stash of dental hygiene utilities, you almost miss the pretty pink tube hidden in the very back corner. 
You’re thinking it’s some makeup primer you left before that he mistook for moisturizer, probably dumped it with all his other things, only to find out you are very, very wrong. 
Sensation Warming Lubricant: NOW! in strawberry flavor 
You blink. 
Lubricant? Jungkook was using lubricant? Strawberry, sensation warming lubricant?!
Somewhere in your mind you had convinced yourself that Jungkook was a simple man, a lotion at his bedside drawer type of man. He had you for the last one and half year, and you two fucked like rabbits, so you hardly doubt he was jacking it alone these days. And even if he was, why on earth was he so specific about the type of lube he uses?
You turn the bottle around, eyes scanning for an expiration date or something of the like, only to find that the copyright symbol was under this current year. The year that had just started, like, two weeks ago. 
Oh, so this was new. 
You turn it over, eyes scanning over the warnings like it’ll tell you something about your boyfriend you don’t know yet, some other hidden secret that he’s maybe held from you. Granted, owning lube isn’t really a big deal, but the fact he’s got it so hidden away (not really, it was casually sitting beside his sunscreen) was definitely something to zero in on. 
Strawberry flavored, you read again, warming, stimulating, edible? Forget his weirdly extensive floss collection, you had stumbled upon something amazing in here, the goddamn Hope Diamond among snooping girlfriend finds. You’ll confront him about this later, you decide, when he’s back to normal and not whiningly calling your name from upstairs. You pocket it for now, tucking it into your cardigan pockets for said later interrogation, and bound up the stairs to him again. 
He’s sitting up in bed like a very angry and confused toddler, brows furrowed sharply like he’s mad. Actually, he just can’t see, the light from the hallway blinding him, so you shut the door and flick on his bedside lamp for him instead. “Hi, honey,” you coo, sitting down on the edge beside him. He’s still waking up, leaning a little too heavily into your palm when you cup his face. “How’re you feeling?”
“Terrible,” he rasps out, but he’s definitely looking better than before. You don’t know if you imagine it, but there’s this slowly accumulating sweat that forms along the base of his neck. “Please don’t leave again,” he says softly, droopy eyes glassy. 
Something shoots straight to your heart— an arrow from Cupid himself! —that makes you stroke his cheek tenderly until his eyelids are fluttering shut again. “I won’t,” you promise, feeling around for his iPad. He doesn’t seem like he’ll fall back asleep, sitting up with more strength than he had that morning. 
You end up climbing behind him, let him be the little spoon you know he secretly craves to be, as he watches his weird YouTube videos again. His body is so warm against yours, but his skin is still so cold. If what Doyeon had said was true, it’s no wonder he’s kept the same sickness all week. The rhythmic sound of machetes hacking at the earth and water trickling through bamboo pipes grows on you, makes you fall into a sense of comfort behind him, arms tracing circles over his chest. 
It’s a mindless habit, one you actually do a lot. Most of the time, it’s when he’s at his desk and stressed out, your masseuse hands making an appearance to soothe the muscles in his neck and chest from being hunched over for so long. Even now, your fingers unconsciously press into the fabric over his pecks, tickle up his sternum until he’s melting against you. 
It takes one quiet whimper from him to let you know exactly how he’s feeling. “Everything alright?” you inquire, halting your movements over his chest. Jungkook nods shakily, head lolling forward. The nape of his neck calls to you, whispers for a kiss that you tenderly bestow upon it. It makes Jungkook jolt, another pretty sound leaving his lips at the press of your warm lips against his sensitive neck. 
“No more,” he mumbles, rolls his head around until it’s resting against your shoulder, giving you a clear view down his chest. You slide your hands back up from where they’d gone stiff just around his ribs, let them palm over his pecs. Jungkook’s hips buck, a minuscule movement you almost miss. 
His heart thunders like the inside of a horse race track beneath your palm, breath picking up just from the simple motion of your hands on his chest. It’s on the fourth circle around his pecs that you feel your pinky briefly catch on something. “Poor thing,” you sigh, running the pad of your pointer finger over the hardened nipple that peaks beneath his sweatshirt. “Is this what was bothering you?” 
A shaky exhale in response, hands tightly clutching at his iPad and beloved YouTube video genre. “N-No,” he denies, but you chance a peak at his face, where his lips are bitten a rosy pink color, its slightly muted sister rushing down his cheeks, over his neck. 
You press the lightest of kisses to the side of his neck, and he shivers. “Need me to take care of you?” you purr, trail your hands down his chest towards where the hem of his sweater sits. You run your finger over it twice, before moving to slip your hand beneath. Your fingers brush along his abs, contracted tightly at your touch, and slowly make their way back up his chest. 
Fingers find his pebbled nipples, a gasp escaping his lips. “Does this feel good?” you ask softly, pinching the swollen nubs between your fingers. Jungkook groans, body arching just the slightest as you rub his nipples, tug and twist them until he’s a whining mess. “Need you to tell me, honey,” you encourage, lips ghosting over his neck. 
The second kiss has him flinching as well, head rapidly turning the other way as you slowly kiss over his neck. “___, please,” he pants, knuckles pale on the sides of the iPad. You're afraid it’ll snap, if not from his grip then from the way he pushes at it, like he’s breaking a wooden board over his knee. It’s still on YouTube, playing another video from the same collection, volume competing with Jungkook’s tiny sounds. 
Pressing your lips to his neck, you kiss along it slowly, reveling in the lovely noises that Jungkook produces the more you rub his nipples, lower body squirming animatedly before you. Your kisses grow wet for a short period, suck purple blossoms across his skin until Jungkook is quivering like a leaf. “E-Enough,” he begs, voice a wobbly mess that is so light and airy. 
You grin, giving his rockhard nipples one last flick before sliding your hands down his chest, over his stomach to toy with the elastic of his pants. He inhales sharply, iPad nearly snapped in half mid video. Ready to play with him some more (and slightly afraid for the future of his tablet), you reach out a hand to move it away, set it off to the side. 
But Jungkook doesn’t release it. In fact, he clings to the damn piece of tech tighter than before. “Hmm?” you murmur, bottom lip brushing against his neck once more. “Not letting go, sweetheart?” 
He shakes his head, soft crown of curls bouncing from the movement. “Can’t, can’t,” he shivers. His knees shift back and forth, move between being casually spread and flush together. Like he’s hiding something, using the iPad and the videos on screen as cover. You tug at his wrist and Jungkook shakes his head again. 
You change tactics, hand sliding around his wrist instead. The other travels up, up, up, comes curling around the base of his neck. Jungkook whimpers, tilts his head back for you cutely at the first brush of your fingers against his Adam’s apple. “Thought you were my good boy?” you ask, eyes zeroed in on the tremble of his lower lip. 
Jungkook exhales shakily, a rather torn expression crossing his features. “I am,” he insists, fingers still tight “I am your good boy.”
You smile, stroking the front of his neck softly as you lean down to press a kiss against his cheek. “You are, aren’t you?” He whimpers. “Then let go, honey,” you murmur, hand on his wrist giving another experimental tug. Still, his grip remains solid. “Jungkook,” you snap, “let go.”
“Y-You’ll laugh,” he cries, yet his grip slowly weakens. It’s with a swift tug that the iPad tumbles to his side, presses against his hip, and shows you the raging hard-on that stirs beneath the front of his cotton pants. Pressed nearly beside your ear, Jungkook shivers. 
Ever so slowly, your hands return to their place around his waist. “Why would I laugh, sweetheart?” you mumble, marveling at the way his cock twitches and jumps beneath his pants before you can even touch it. His shirt is hiked up just above his abs, your hands tenderly stroking over the skin beneath his navel, but it’s got Jungkook writhing. “Hips up for me,” you instruct. 
He shakes even when he pushes himself up, knees wobbling as you slip your hands beneath his waistband and tug them down his thighs. Afterwards, his legs flop forward flatly, spread out with his beautiful swollen cock on display against his hip. 
You trap it at the base and Jungkook mewls, hands fisting the sheets now that his beloved iPad has been snatched away. It’s still playing his videos, interrupting his saccharine moans with corny ads every few minutes. A hand snaps up to join, opposite of yours, until your fingers are entwined around his dick. How romantic, you think, discreetly rolling your hips back against the mattress. “Gonna help me make you cum?” you ask instead, give him a light squeeze that makes him jolt. 
“Uh huh,” he responds, feathery. 
You reward him with a kiss to his cheek, reaching up to brush away the hair that’s begun sticking to his forehead. In the very back of your head you recognize this as being good for his fever, but the rest of you is more concerned with the pretty pout on his lips. “Hold tight for me,” you smile, releasing his cock to press your finger against the very tip of his cock where a pearly drop of precum has begun forming. “So pretty, Jungkookie,” you praise, teasing the length of your finger over the slit on his head. It has that juicy droplet coating your finger, gliding seamlessly over and over again. 
The simple touch makes him buck, has him blindly wrapping an arm around your bent knee that was pressed to his side this whole time. He squeezes around you rather weakly, the majority of his strength going to holding his cock tightly like you’d instructed. He’s such a good boy for you, trying his absolute best, even when you’re very obviously overwhelming him. 
You roll the flat side of your finger over him, his mushroom tip slowly growing more and more slick as he produces more precum. It’s shiny, fits perfectly between your clasped fingers when you squeeze around his head. Jungkook’s breath turns labored. 
He’s always so well kept down there, skin so smooth and free of hairs, and you know he does it because he wants to impress you. “So pretty, baby,” you hum, acknowledging his efforts. Your praise makes Jungkook moan, suddenly fucking up into his hand. It’s accidental, because he hisses at the drag of his dry palm around his relatively dry dick immediately. 
“Hurts, hurts,” he whimpers prettily, lower lip caught between his teeth. 
You frown, slide your wet fingers down the base of his cock until they’re wrapping around his and Jungkook’s little gasps even out. “I’m sorry, baby, you gotta be patie—“
Something presses against your hip, something distinctly hard that you had hastily picked up from his bathroom cabinet earlier, and a whole new door opens before your eyes. “Hold still for me,” you tell him quickly as you release your grip around his cock. Jungkook wails at the separation, but you’re more concerned with wrestling the tube out of your pocket with one hand. It’s heavy in your palm, turning over until that big fat label on front comes into view again. 
Jungkook explodes at the sight. “Wh— Where did you find that?” he stammers, cheeks ablaze. “I-I don’t know where that came fro—“
You ignore him, hold the bottle of lubricant over his stomach as you uncap it, a gooey pink substance spilling over into your hands the moment the lid pops off. Jungkook is still rambling away about the origins of the bottle, as if you care. You set the bottle on his tummy, the cold plastic makes him shiver. But you know what’s not cold? The warming lube in your hands that only takes three rubs of your palms to activate. 
You latch down like a crazed animal around his cock. With both your hands fighting to grip at his cock, you’re pressed closer against Jungkook, lips against the shell of his ear. 
The initial touch makes him sob, back arching and legs kicking at the sheets piled at the foot of the bed as your slick hands track the lube over his dick. “No!” he cries, hands wildly reaching out to grab whatever he can as you slowly get to work pulling him off. “I-I can’t, __, I can’t.”
“You can,” you coo, watching the translucent pink substance coat his cock, join his sticky precum. 
Maybe you get overexcited in your efforts, forget Jungkook is the way he is right now because he was still a little weak from his fever, but you go crazy on stroking his cock. One hand lingers around the base, squeezing and rolling over his balls, palm pressing against the hardened sac and squeezing there too. The other focuses at the tip, does most of the actual stroking over his cock. His head is leaking precum now, every stroke and squeeze making him shudder and push out another drop, until it’s mixing with the lube to form a sticky sweet substance that you wanna lick at so bad. 
So you do. 
You release one hand to curiously bring it up to your face, turning it over and around as you examine the stickiness on your fingers, the fat drop that unintentionally drips onto the front of Jungkook’s sweatshirt. He sobs at the sight of your lips around your fingers, squirms and bucks into the hand still on his cock until he’s embarrassingly coming. “I’m sorry,” he wails, hands fisting the sheets, fucking into your hand like a virgin. “I didn’t— I didn’t mean to.” 
You draw your hand away, watching in slow motion the cum that just spurted from his cock come dribbling down the slowly softening length now. “Oh, sweetheart,” you croon, hands on his tummy. The bottle of lube slips to the side, meets the still playing iPad at his hip. It’s sticky and gross to touch him like this, especially when you know Jungkook hates being unnecessarily dirty, but you can’t stop yourself from softly caressing him, soothe him after such a hard-hitting orgasm. 
Honestly you had thought he would hold up a little more, let you get in a few more strokes, but he must’ve been more sensitive than you thought. “I’m sorry,” he cries again, head lolling to the side to meet your gaze with watery eyes. 
You tilt his head to the side, angle him just right for you to bestow your first kiss of the night against his little pout. Jungkook hiccups, melts against you as you slowly guide him through the kiss. He’s sloppy and shy, moves nothing like your normal Jungkook, and that fact alone has you slipping your tongue past his lips. He doesn’t fight back, just lets you play with him and sighs all delicately against your mouth. 
There’s something about this, his soft and submissive attitude, that has you pulling away to look at him. Big brown eyes, glassed over with unshed tears, and plush lips that call your name. And yet. 
“Open,” you murmur, hypnotized by the way that tiny mouth moves. 
“Huh?” Jungkook flushes, but he’s so good, he’s your good boy, and does so anyway. Lower lip quivers as he parts his lips, stuttering exhales creeping through as you purse your lips, let the saliva collect on your mouth, before rudely spitting into his. He flinches, whimpers softly, and swallows. He looks at you with these expectant eyes, like he wants to hear how much of a good boy he is, so you do exactly that. 
You brush his bangs away lovingly. “Aren’t you just so good for me,” you purr, revel in the way his eyes flutter shut at your touch, like you could never hurt him, and you won’t. 
As sweet as the moment is, there’s a raging fire in your core begging to be stroked, and your hyperfixation on Jungkook’s mouth lets you know there’s only one way to chase the feeling. “Up,” you tell Jungkook, who whimpers sadly when you finally escape from behind him. 
But you don’t get too far, settling beside him on the bed until you’re looking at the damage you’ve caused from the front. His skin is sticky in some places, pink sheen of the lube decorating him from your incessant touching. Pants around his thighs, shirt against his chest. His face is flushed, all the way down to his chest and up to his ears, so rosy and pink all for you. He shies away under your gaze, drops his head to his chin bashfully. 
You grin, shuffle forward to turn those pretty eyes back towards you. “Messy little thing,” you tease, slotting your mouths together again. Jungkook moans this time, lazily kissing you back. His lips move in slow motion, trembling hands reaching for your face to cup, your name falling from his lips when you pull away slightly. “Need you to help me out now,” you murmur, hand on his jaw. “Can you do that, honey?” Jungkook nods hurriedly, eyes foggy and on your mouth. “Lay back.”
He does so, rushes to lay against the pillows until he’s flat on his back. You get to work on your clothes, shed your cardigan and languidly tug your top over your head in the way you know makes your breasts bounce. Beneath you, Jungkook whines at the sight. “You too,” you remind him, wiggling out of your jeans. At your instruction, he begins fumbling with his clothes, pants and underwear haphazardly thrown over the edge of the bed. 
By the time you’re naked, you’re met with a rather amusing sight. 
In his haste to take his clothing off, Jungkook seems to have gotten himself tangled in his long sleeves, shirt awkwardly bunched up around his wrists and twisted over some. You chuckle. “Help please,” he asks so politely, shaking his arms back and forth above his head. But you’re genuinely confused as to what he did, because one of the sleeves wraps around the other, pins the bulk of the fabric to his skin, and then the other wraps around that. A mess you don’t bother dissecting, simply climbing over him. He complains, of course, soft huffs you wave off. 
“Don’t need them anyway,” you shrug, can’t help the lovesick look you send him when you brush his hair away for the umpteenth time. Jungkook leans into the touch sweetly, rosy cheek pressed against your palm. “Lemme see your pretty little tongue,” you order, pussy clenching when he does as told and rolls his tongue out for you, tip pressed against his bottom lip. “Good boy.”
A soft whimper, and then you’re shuffling over him, pretty doe eyes watching with amazement when you finally hover over his face. “For me?” he asks so softly, so sweetly. 
It’s a question you’ve heard him utter countless times before in similar settings, always with a cocky grin and mean eyes, ready to send you to hell and back with his tongue or his cock. But it’s different now, big shiny eyes looking at you like you’re the greatest thing to ever happen in his life, so pliant and demure beneath your touch like he lived to serve you. 
“All for you,” you assure him, get comfortable, and slowly lower your pussy over his face. His eyes flutter shut immediately, pink tongue ready for you by the time your dripping cunt nears his face. 
You can’t help the moan that tears itself from your throat, a soft cry as he begins lapping against your folds. He’s so tender, so careful. It drives you crazy. Hands above his head squirming as you slowly grind your pussy over his face, more mindful than usual because he was so delicate tonight, like a baby bird that shivers with the simplest touch. 
His tongue is smooth, circles around your clit. He nudges your bundle of nerves back and forth a few times, sends an initial wave of tingles down your spine, before taking it between puckered lips. His slurps it into his mouth, where it’s so hot and wet, it makes your grind stutter. “Oh,” you pant, reaching down to tangle your fingers in his hair. “P-Perfect,” you mumble. 
The praise makes his features twist up cutely, mouth desperate to get more out of you. “You like that?” you gasp, holding his head still as he runs his tongue along your folds. Jungkook nods, eyes glazed over as he messily begins eating you out. “Like when I tell you you’re a good boy, Jungkookie?” 
He lets out a broken whine, the vibrations shooting up your spine and making you shiver. Tongue pressed in at your entrance, prods gently like it’s his first time (it’s not) and he’s gauging your reactions. “Oh baby,” you shudder, fingers tightening in his curls. 
He looks like an angel beneath you like this, halo of curls artfully splayed across the sheets, arms knotted above his head. Big pretty eyes that make you want to lay down and be his bitch instead, their power just so strong even when he’s whining and whimpering against your pussy like this. His tongue dips into your cunt, makes you buck against him by accident. “I’m sorry, angel,” you breathe, so caught up in your thoughts that the name just slips. It makes Jungkook’s cheeks flush a pretty pink, arms tug at their makeshift restraints. But his brain is scattered, torn between releasing himself, eating you out, and being shy. 
He settles soon enough, ends up just sticking his tongue out flat for you to grind against, using the grip in his curls to drag your pussy over his face. His scalp feels warm, sweat clinging to his hairline. He sighs endearingly against you, and it’s that final puff of warm air against your folds that has you coming, cum dripping over his lips and chin sinfully. 
When you finish, you quickly get off of him, lay down beside him. Jungkook is panting softly, tongue peeking out to taste the cum that splattered against the corner of his lips. “You were so good for me,” you praise, idly dragging your finger across his skin, collecting your cum on the tip. 
Jungkook looks at you with a heavy gaze, knotted wrists slowly returning to rest over his abdomen. “Can you… Can you call me that again?” he asks hesitantly, so shy and polite. 
“Hm?” you ask. “Angel?” His lips part, an awfully aroused look crossing his features. You smile, press your cum loaded finger against his lips and he opens, sucks around your finger and moans. “My pretty little angel,” you purr, slowly thrusting your finger in and out of his mouth. Before you can stop yourself, you’re leaning over to kiss him again, swallowing his cries in your desperate need to taste yourself on his tongue. Jungkook is more active this time around, daringly challenging your tongue with his before ultimately giving up, languidly following the pace you set for the kiss. You pull off with a pop, leave him dazed and trailing after your mouth cutely. 
You pat his cheek once, offer him a tender smile, before moving to get up and clean up. Jungkook whines at your departure, and it’s only once you’ve sat up that you realize why. 
Half hard cock at his hip, fattening slowly but surely. Instantly, it’s like the post-orgasm fatigue is yanked away, pussy throbbing at the sight of your angel and his cock, swelling from eating you out and kissing. He was too good to be true. 
“Oh, you poor thing,” you sigh dramatically, shifting onto your knees at his hip to look at him. Something pokes your leg; it’s the stupid iPad playing his dorky YouTube videos that you click off and chuck to the other side of the bed. You had had enough of that by now. 
He’s not at full mast yet, and he’s not getting there quick enough for your liking. So you take matters into your own hands. (Besides, what was stopping you tonight? Certainly not this soft, pliant Jungkook.)
Kneeling between his legs, you reach for the forgotten bottle of lube, squirt a fat glob into your hands, then decide that isn’t enough and squirt it directly onto your chest. Jungkook watches with wide eyes, lower lip caught between his teeth. “What— What’re you doing?” he stammers, can’t even sit up with his hands held together. “__, y-you don’t have—“
Squeezing your breasts together, you slip his cock between the crevice, watch as his angry head comes out on the other side so easily, so slippery. Oh, this was gonna be post-work, shower-time, spank bank material for months. 
Jungkook sobs, loud and unfiltered at the sight, expression torn as he watches you slowly work your tightened breasts down his quickly hardening member. “T-Too much, too much,” he cries, squirming and bucking beneath you. “I-I’ll come—” 
“Don’t,” you snap, stilling your moments to flick your eyes back to him. His head is rolled back, jaw strained, but when he manages to lift it up and look down at you, there’s tears that streak his cute face, trails that glisten when the lowlight of the lamp hits him just right. “Don’t fucking come yet, Jungkook.”
He sniffles weakly, more tears spilling from his eyes. “But I— it feels,” he blubbers, knotted hands reaching down for the base of his cock. You slap it away. “___, please,” he wails, face flushed from all his conflicting emotions. 
Ignoring his cries, you get back to work, moving your upper body to and fro to simulate the thrusting motion he is too weak to do himself. He whimpers pitifully, more tears leaving his eyes when you lean down and spit on the head of his cock when it emerges next, make it join the rest of the ungodly fluids painting your chest. Honestly, you’re certain it’s that damned strawberry flavored, sensation warming, edible lube that makes this experience so enjoyable, so mind-blowing. 
Jungkook seems to agree, stuttering out a messy whine. “Feels weird,” he snivels, only to be cut off when you release him from in between your tits. Immediately, he begins lamenting the loss. 
Slowly, you ease him back in. You’re beginning to understand the intensity of that damned warming lube, because with each glide of his cock between your breasts, it’s like a tingle of nerves sparks within you, insides folding in on themselves as they channel all their energy to that one area of hastily spread lube. It feels so good and wet and messy, Jungkook’s whiny sniffles only fueling the experience. His cock twitches dangerously, and you flash him a glare. “Jungkook,” you warn. 
“I’m sorry,” he weeps, thrashing back and forth as if that makes it any easier. “I just— I want,” he chokes, hips bucking into the suction you’ve created between your boobs. Tentatively, you stick your tongue out, let his tip brush against it on the next thrust. Jungkook curses, a feral groan escaping his lips. “Wanna fuck,” he seethes, “now.”
It’s but a slight peek into his regular personality, his normal mannerisms. But something about it now annoys you. In fact, it pisses you off, seeing him be so complacent and sweet just to try and overthrow you at the last second. And it’s with this same train of thought that you release him, climb over him like a crazed sex demon, and press your hand to his throat. 
“You're supposed to be good,” you spit, scowl turned on him and it immediately has Jungkook drawing back with his tail tucked, falling into line as he should. “You’re supposed to be my angel tonight, remember?”
Jungkook nods, big round eyes looking at you like you’re insane, but the cock that presses against your ass tells you that he likes it. “I-I’m sorry,” he stutters, shrinking back into the mattress. Sticky hands around his throat, probably make him warm and tingly, but all you can think about is those pretty eyes. Sensing your wavering emotions, he takes advantage by tilting his chin forward for you cutely, pink lips trembling as he silently asks for a kiss. 
You release him.
“Stupid angel,” you huff, mouth against his. “Gonna make me mad if you don’t act right,” you remind him, pushing his sweaty curls away from his face. He whimpers against your mouth, let’s you play with his hair as you calm down. He’s a blushing mess beneath you, every inch of him flushed and warm and sweaty. 
You shift back and are met with his still rock hard member against your ass. You touch him appreciatively, reaching back to stroke him with a half-assed grip. It makes him moan nonetheless, pulling away from your lips to mewl against your shoulder. “Wanna fuck?” you hum, curling your hand over the tip like he likes, watching his head roll back against his pillow at the sensation. Jungkook groans, doesn’t seem to hear you now. You try again. “Wanna fuck my pussy, baby?”
“Yes,” he gasps this time, jolts when you press the tip of your finger against the slit on his head, plug his cock from releasing any more precum. “Please, please,” he begs, the hands on his chest straining against the shirt he still hasn’t managed to shake off. 
One last kiss is delivered to him, a chaste one against his pout that makes him whine. “Whatever you want,” you purr, line him up. 
Your hands are still sticky with the lube and so is his cock. Everything is sticky; his cock, you folds, your tits, his neck. It’s a big sticky, slippery mess, but you can’t even be annoyed because everything feels so good. Your tits tingle from whatever they put in that damn lube, nipples rock hard and extra swollen today, like if you don’t touch them you’ll die. You sink back into Jungkook’s throbbing cock, and the second his cock spreads the lube along your walls, you’re jolting because it just feels so damn good. 
You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube. 
His cock pushes past your folds, fits snugly inside of you just like it belongs. It still feels like the first time, feels like your first day where he was so perfect and sweet. Part of you wonders what would have become of you two if he had reacted like this that day, soft and whiny, when you first prepositioned him. Maybe the sexual aspect of your relationship would be entirely different today, maybe you’d be one the always leading. 
But… you’re not sure if you’d want that. Leading is fun— hell, you’re certain this moment will be what you get engraved on your tombstone —but you were a pillow princess at heart with occasional dominant tendencies. You drool over this moment now, but if he asks for this again tomorrow you might actually bend over and die. It was a lot of work, keeping the energy going, and you find yourself having this newfound sense of respect for Jungkook as his cock slips past your folds. 
Anyway, when you sit on his cock, fingers teasingly tightening around his throat, Jungkook’s eyes are weirdly focused on your tits. He’s been doing that a lot lately, losing his mind by just staring at your tits. On some occasions he puts them in his mouth, gets possessed by some titty loving monster and sucks on them until you’re trembling. It’s fine because it’s quite frankly a huge ego boost, but something him now makes you want to pick at him for it. 
“They’re yours to taste, angel,” you hum, slowly rolling your hips over his fat cock. Jungkook whimpers, softly ruts up into your heat the next time you press down. “Tell me what you want,” you exhale, a breathy moan. 
He doesn’t say anything, just drops his mouth open for you with a trembling lower lip. Tongue peeks out, eyes glazed over in his lust, looking every bit like those hentai ads he hates so much. But you fulfill his wishes, help him sit up until he’s flush against your chest. His awkwardly bound hands get squished in the middle, and he says, “m-my hands...” 
“I’ve got you,” you soothe, undo his self-made restraints and toss them to the side. Immediately, he’s wrapping his arms around you, pulling you flush against him to latch his lips around your breasts. “S-Slow down,” you whine, hands on his biceps as he sucks your tit into his mouth, twirls his tongue around your nipple. He’s good with his tongue even when he’s sick. 
He pulls off with a pop, ragged breathing only making you more sensitive as it fans over the thin layer of saliva he leaves on your tits. “Tastes like strawberries,” he groans wondrously, head against your chest. You use the lull to get back to fucking yourself on him, but Jungkook’s got other plans. He rolls the two of you over, pins you beneath him with his hot and sweaty body. “I’m sorry,” he moans as he begins jackhammering his thrusts into you. 
Your back arches, legs thrown around his waist as the sudden change of events. “Fffuck,” you heave, “harder, angel— gotta fuck like you mean it.”
Jungkook shudders, hands looped around the small of your back. His cock rams into you over and over, each glide of it against the walls of your pussy making you unravel in his arms. His lips latch around your other boob, suck and suck like he’s expecting something to come out.
That’s when it hits you. 
“N-Nothing there,” you tell him, arms wrapped around his shoulders. His lashes are wet, eyes pinching tighter at your reminder. He pulls away almost to protest, but then you’re guiding him up to your face, hot breath mingling with yours. “Nothing there because you haven’t given me a baby yet,” you murmur darkly, watch the emotions flood his features as you tap into that taboo kink of his. 
He chokes, grinds his cock into you and holds it there. “I-I didn’t,” he sniffs, “we never— you never said,” he whines, “...you wanted one.”
You cup his face in his hands, feel slightly mean for the pride you get from his tear stricken appearance. “I do,” you purr, lazily kissing him. “Want one if it’s from you. Don’t you?” He nods like an antsy puppy, quivering against you as he slowly and shallowly ruts into you. “Don’t you wanna see me like that, angel?” you egg on, hands looping behind his neck, idly playing with stray waves and curls. “Tummy so big and swollen because you did something bad, because you couldn’t pull out.” 
Jungkook sobs, pulls you impossibly closer until the head of his cock is missing your cervix repeatedly. One of your legs is pressed nearly to your chest, hip tight from the force in which he holds you. “I-I want,” he agrees, more tears spilling down his cheeks. 
You smirk evilly, kissing the corner of his mouth gently as he slowly picks up the pace of his thrusts. “Then fuck me hard, Jungkookie,” you demand, “fuck me full of your cum.”
Jungkook nods with a sniffle against your shoulder, fingers tightening against your skin as he slowly but surely begins nailing you into the mattress. He’s a good boy, always, because he does exactly what you tell him to. Uses those bulky muscles to hold you down, makes it impossible for you to move as he pistons his hips, cock sheathing itself inside your cunt. 
Every drag makes you unconsciously clench, the raw feeling consuming your thoughts. His cock is so big and wet today, certainly due to that stupid lube from beneath his cabinet. Your entire pussy feels like it’s on ecstasy, stupidly geeked up by that lube, and you’re sure Jungkook’s cock feels the same. It makes the glide so much better, so much easier, each ram of his cock feeling so easy. “Oh, fuck,” you whimper, nails digging down his spine. Jungkook is a sobbing, sniffling mess against the crook of your neck, absolute gibberish falling from his lips. 
But you’re no better, tongue seemingly set on a chaotic rampage to validate every single one of his fantasies. “Gonna fuck me while I’m pregnant?” you pant against his ear, fingers tugging at his hair. He doesn’t offer more than a strained cry, thrusts momentarily falling out of rhythm. “You would like that, huh? Fucking me when you’re not supposed to. You’re so bad, Kook-ah,”  you gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Only pretend to be an angel but really you’re just a dirty, little pervert.” 
He wails loudly, slams his hips so hard into you that it makes you sob as well. “N-No,” he blubbers, tears against your skin. “I’m good— I’m a good boy,” he stresses, fingers bruising their prints into your skin. 
He presses so close, cock practically making your stomach bulge, but neither of you see. “Dirty angel,” you spit, yank his hair back roughly until he’s forced to look at you with that watery gaze. “So horny you’re willing to get me pregnant.”
Jungkook cries out, snaps his cock into you like he’s trying to break you in half. “No,” he heaves, tears dripping down his cheeks and onto yours. “I-I-I’d do it right,” he defends weakly, hips losing their demonic pace as his orgasm sneaks up on him. “Ma— Marry first… then, b— ba— bab—“
You swallow his words with your lips, kiss him like you’re on the verge of death in a desperate attempt to hide your tears from him. They paint your cheeks in stark strokes, trail down your skin and make everything blurry, but so does your orgasm. 
You come first, heart and body trembling at his unexpectedly sweet words, as you become a whimpering, teary mess beneath him. Jungkook follows, cries out your name one last time as he busts inside of you. 
Sticky and gross, he falls onto the pillow beside you. Poor baby is so tired, curls covering half of his face, but lips cutely puckered against the pillow. He’s sweaty as hell though, which you now vaguely remember was your original goal with all of this so you count this as a success. 
You think he’s fallen asleep, sitting up slowly and reaching for that t-shirt that bound him together earlier to clean up. He shudders when you run it against his skin, obviously still overwhelmed. You shift around the bed in search of today’s MVP. “Where’s the lube?” you mutter to yourself. 
Jungkook groans. “YouTube?” he asks, voice dry as all hell. 
“No, honey, the lube we used,” you respond, running your hands over the sheets for any signs of the pink bottle. 
“Want YouTube,” he mumbles, lets you swaddle him up in the blanket again. You roll your eyes and reach for the forgotten iPad that had long since tumbled to the floor. When it turns on, that same video from before is on pause so you don’t bother changing it as you hand it back to Jungkook. “Nice,” he murmurs, “underground water slide.”
You snort. “Weirdo.” He glares cutely, eyes barely open at this point. “Watch your YouTube.”
“Use your lube,” he sasses back softly, nonsensically, and then rather anticlimactically passes out. 
There’s something soft in your chest, something so big and overwhelming, that has you bending over his sleeping figure, mouth brushing against his. “Hurry and get better, angel,” you whisper, wish on it with all your heart. 
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 To no one’s surprise, you get sick two days later. Doyeon laughs and laughs for hours about it, tells you that’s what you get for using sex as medicine. But Jungkook’s back to normal, which means he stays over and coddles you to death. 
“Hurry and get better,” he says, spoon feeding you your famous Get Better Soon Soup that you passed on to him. “I have a question to ask you.”
There’s a little black box in his downstairs bathroom cabinet that you swear you’ve never seen, but Jungkook knows you’re lying. 
It fits perfectly. 
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epilogue
She scoffs. “And I care why?” You huff, go to scold her for their weird rivalry, but then she’s moving on. “Babe, just give him some pain relief and call it a day.”
“Fine,” you mumble. “Wait, can you look something else up for me?”
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