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lennsart · 17 days

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what is the autism fic about?

this is starting to feel like bullying-WHOSE FEELINGS ARE ETTING HURT???

and b*tch are you okay, is someone having a breakdown in there omg FEED ME

Ooooo you really sniped two of my most dark fics out of the three you chose 😂

I've already answered about "This is starting to feel like bullying" so I'll answer for the other two !

Let's start with the softer one :

- The Autism fic

"The Autism fic" is about... What's in the title ! lmao

It is also one of the Legend-centric one, but everyone has an important role and will get their moment to shine :)

Directly from my notes :

"Everyone is autistic 🎉

Legend has been raised to hide and mask it, and is ""conditionned"" to think it's rude to let autistic traits show

So at first most of the Links are like "wow, what an asshole"

[...]

Time and Wars are going full parents mode, they want everyone to feel comfortable in the group, so they try to protect them from ableism... which Legend does without knowing what it is

So they don't get along well

Actually it's like :

Know they are autistic and what it means :

- Warriors (spent a lot of time researching trauma response and the way the brain worked after the war (firstly to help his friends))

- Time (learned the terms during the war)

- Four (not the exact word, but he knows about neurodivergence)

Know they are "different" :

- Hyrule

- Sky

- Legend

Never really thought about it :

- Twilight (when he was a rancher it perfectly met his needs (I'm sure petting goats when you're overwhelmed is like THE remedy) and afterwards, some people were rude in castletown but he thought it was because he was a villager)

- Wind (is seen as a hyperactive and curious kid but not really more)

Wild is special because he knows, but also think it's because of the 100 years sleep thing ? And who cares, he saved the world and spend most of his time alone anyway."

I have the story planned out and a few scenes written, but it's mostly ideas and random scenes, it's far from being done (and not the wip I'm working on right now !)

Basically, in the downfall timeline people get more scared of difference and intolerant (maybe even because the fallen hero was autistic and they're like "well look how that turned out", but it's... A pretty sad idea). So Legend has been raised to hide it, and have constently been told that the way he acted (stimming, questionning social cues and stuff) was rude, unproper, and more importantly, dangerous for him.

I'll put the beginning here, because it summarize the whole thing pretty well, but I'm sorry for the length of this answer zhehhzehbhbezhez

Snippet :

"Apparently, the weirdness was a hero thing.

Legend was quite puzzled upon this discovery. He had thought his whole life that the weird was a 'him' thing, and a bad one. That what was natural to him was very rude and that he needed to change it.

[...]

He was used to conceal.

He was used to act, smile and look in the eyes and laugh with everyone else. He was used to control, checking every few minutes if his hands were still and quiet. He was used to pretend to be like everyone else, and to be able to release those barriers when he was home, to collapse for an hour or so in his room, in the dark and under his covers.

Somehow, when he traveled during quests, he got surprised to note that he was less tired from a day of walking and exploring than from a day in town. Somehow he felt more like himself when he was alone on the road and bouncing on his feet when he saw a fun animal that he had never seen before.

Somehow, he had associated that feeling with travels.

And he was quickly understanding, as he spent time with other heroes, that he should have associated it with being alone.

He couldn't rest. Well, no, he could rest, they slept on the road and they didn't overwork themselves, but he couldn't rest like he did at home.

Because everyone would see, and it wasn't because they had some of the weird that they would accept all of his.

The first few days, he managed. He had met the heroes while in a bad mood, and didn't bother to force any smile he didn't want to. They categorized him as grumpy, and not only was that fair, "grumpy" was an incredibly easier role to act on than "agreeable".

(Probably because it was less polite, but... It was a bit late to be, and they didn't seem to mind too much.)

But after a while, it started to wear him out.

He joked less and mocked more. He was more tired and thus less considerate. He didn't manage his tone as well, nor his facial expressions.

He played with his rings a lot (which was an acceptable way to let out some steam, he had found out while observing adults in town, but only as long as it didn't become obsessive). He felt frustrating needs to just gesticulate nonsensically until his body felt less stiff, less foreign, more... Right.

He didn't feel right, was what it was.

And he resented the other heroes for not making any effort."

- Bitch are u okay

I want to clarify one thing : when a wip have a funny title, most of the time they are speaking to me !

"This is starting to feel like bullying" meant bullying towards Legend, that I kept writing whump about.

So the question "bitch are u okay" is directed towards ME, and the answer is no :D (at least when I started writing this)

This is legit the heaviest wip I worked on :)

To put it simply, Legend is depressed, very much so, and Dark Link feeds off the heroes' negative feelings. This doesn't mix well as you can guess !

The first part of the fic would be a descent to hell. Poor Lege is already struggling, and the more he tries to make an effort and do things, the more he feels like he messes up. So why try at all ?

I think I have written about darker themes, but the fact that this is often Legend's POV makes it kind of... Hard to read, in a way ?

I only write on this wip when I'm either in a good mood and know it won't affect me, or when I struggle and need to vent, no in-between because then it would make me feel down.

And, yeah, Legend is having a breakdown in this one. A big one 😅

But what is important to me is that the second part of the fic is about healing. It's about how having a good support system helps, how healing isn't linear but progress is always progress. It's not just a vent fic, I want Lege to get better, dammit !

The thing is, I like "healing" as a theme for my fictions, and the next long fic I plan on posting also speaks about this (with a twist). I just don't know if I should fuse those two fics (but I'll lose some of what makes them special in both cases) or if I should just assume that I'm always writing the same stories in different fonts 😆

I don't have a big snippet for this one, but just to set the tone, it starts like this :

" It's just one of those days.

Legend wakes up, barely opens his eyes, and suddenly, existing is too hard.

Getting up and eating and talking with friends sounds like torture. Having to wait for the night to be able to curl up under his covers is already an ordeal, and for Nayru's sake he's not even out of his bedroll yet. "

(I'm sorry for the length of this post oh my god now THAT is rambling)

#linked universe #lu fic #lu fanfiction #writing #wip #tw depression mention #depression mention #ask game #ask answer #Lenn rambles

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hellolulu · 2 years

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The anime made the telepathy arc more about the aliens haha funny anime girls than it did about what the arc represents and I'm still sad about it! I didn't post about it until now because I'm sad! Especially because the animation was quite beautiful!

The point of this small arc is to show that Shigeo has made peace with himself. Both as a person, by genuinely exhausting himself to help the friends he loves - putting all that effort in and continuously choosing to keep going, even when Tome is saying she doesn't want to and everyone is tired. And as an esper, freely using his powers to do something that could be regarded as useless, silly, or maybe even a touch playful; which he hasn't done since he was a child. He has only ever used it when told to, ever since the accident with Ritsu. And remember, during the last season, he was having an extremely hard time being stuck between his esper half, and his human half. It's incredible progress!! Seeing him able to combine both sides of himself in front of others, knowing he's accepted by these people?! That's crazy! I'm so proud of him!! He's grown!!

And this arc is also about him connecting with the other important part of himself (and of all of us), too: the truth of your heart.

Tome disbanding the club, leaving so quietly and dejectedly because she realises that all this time they hadn't taken her seriously. The club members being genuinely upset about it because they love her and didn't realise that she was that serious.

Takenaka being amazed by the truth in Shigeo's heart (a straightforward person who doesn't like to lie or put up false pretenses, which is rarer than you'd think, genuinely wanting to help his friend by doing something crazy like communicating with aliens) and choosing to join them because he had actually wanted to meet others like him, and because he felt like his power could be used for the sake of good for once (as he had used it when he was a child). Because he was moved by Shigeo's honest heart.

Reigen complaining that he has to babysit a bunch of kids, when in reality he knows he's spending time with people he loves and is just a little happy about it. Serizawa being genuinely upset that he can't join Reigen for drinks, worrying about him, until he knows Reigen will be with someone he cares about at the turn of the year (btw this is quite funny to me, because any typical person would go hey I'm sure my classmates wouldn't mind if I invited a friend along to drinks! We're all adults after all! Do you want to join? I can ask :D but he's autism honour bound and doesn't realise he can probably bring anyone, and Reigen's self confidence is too low to invite himself smh)

Tome crying because she was so frustrated that they only started to care when things were about to end, but knowing the truth in her own heart being that she, too, wanted to stay - so she showed up to go with them even though it hurt. Only to learn that even though they hadn't thought she was serious, they put this plan together because they do care. Because the truth is they value their friendship with her as much as she values them, and they want to make an effort to prove that.

Takenaka then putting in even more effort than he had expected to, because he realises he had let his hurt feelings (loneliness) get in the way of the type of friendships Shigeo had formed. The type of friendships he had yearned for all along. He'd even stayed awake that whole night prior, studying and memorising and taking notes, because he wanted things to go well, because these people could be onto something deeper than he'd thought friendships could be. Because the truth is he wanted to take part in something like that, too.

And Shigeo, in this arc, despite pushing himself to exhaustion, is doing it for the sake of love. For his friends. We've seen him exhaust himself before; after big fights and overwhelming moments, he becomes tired and exhausted to the point of collapsing or passing out. But here it's different - he's doing it for the sake of those he cares about. He wants to see Tome happy because she's a very dear friend to him, he wants to enjoy a day out with his group of friends that he just happened to become close to over the year, and he wants to show them how much they mean to him right now; and he wants to see Takenaka open up to others and learn that sometimes friendships are formed out of things that you don't have in common. Out of the things you learn from each other. (The mortifying ordeal of being known, if you will.)

Because what matters is the truth in your heart, that you care about your friends, that you want to be there for them, to push yourself for them, and that you know they'd do the same for you. That maybe they already have. That's the point of the arc. (That's what the point of the arc is.)

The aliens section in the manga touched on it too, in a "we were able to communicate because of a common understanding of each other, despite being unable to verbally communicate, and I was able to return home" and not.. whatever that was in the anime.

#this arc is extremely important #and there were parts of the episodes that were so beautiful and emotional #but the aliens part man #inukawa was like drugged and used and man the dude's a KID #but yk Moving Swiftly On #this arc is a very beautiful demonstration of everyone seeing their true selves and letting that truth be known #the truth in their hearts #ritsu's heart truth was that he wished to be more like the twins with shigeo instead of elder and younger brother #but you'll only know this if you read my tags so if you're here HI #i hope you don't mind that I write nicely but am also an idiot who adds asides and !!! everywhere #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 analysis #mp100 spoilers #takenaka #tome #mp100 tome #shigeo #mob #mp100 mob #lulu on the mic #reigen #telepathy arc #idk what to tag do I tag everyone I mentioned ew #I'm giving up here

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weepingpussywillowtree · 2 months

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Pontificating on the state of my relationship below

For the first time in my life I'm slowly discovering that away from my family and when managing my anxiety/accepting my autism I am a fundamentally happy person and that despite how dark and difficult the world can be I'm excited for the rest of my life...

I asked my partner if he's excited to live. He said no. I asked them if they are unhappy; they said yes. I asked him why he's unhappy, he said where we live and his job. I asked him if he wants to work to change those things. He said he's afraid of failure. I asked them if they are so afraid of failing that they would prefer to be unhappy than risk failure and they couldn't answer and got upset with me. I asked him if he thought he was depressed and he said he didn't really want to think about it.

It's four months until our lease is up. We have been prepping for a long distance move, but he's not really helping with the planning and logistics at all. He doesn't really seem to have any strong feelings about it. I'm very afraid that we will move somewhere and they will realize afterwards that it wasn't what they wanted, or that moving can't solve their deeper unhappiness. I'm overwhelmed by all the logistics and planning. I don't want to drive the ship of our joint lives by myself anymore. I have told him this, explicitly.

When we first got together, we were both 18 and stupid and depressed. We really supported each other through a lot and honestly I think the pandemic keeping us at home together masked a lot of our issues. It's been five years now, and I'm finding myself frustrated by their apathy toward life, as well as their unwillingness to do anything about that apathy or even acknowledge it as a problem. It seems like they really would rather be unhappy than risk failure... Or in my view, risk happiness or joy. I am wondering if this is the end. We have so much history. He is the closest and most supportive person in my life, the first person I've ever had even close to a healthy relationship with, but it feels like since we graduated a year ago I've been dragging him along into something he doesn't want. If I'm going to be with someone, i want to be with someone who asks me out on a date occasionally. Or wants to do things with me when I ask. Or wants to set goals for the future. Or like, wants to do anything...

I asked them if they feel intimidated by/do not want the arbitrary label of 'adult' now that we are out of college. They said yes. I've tried to tell them that being an adult is meaningless, that we're all just faking it till we make it, that all I need is for him to try to be more engaged in planning out the things they've said they want, but it feels like talking to a wall. A wall full of shame and guilt and self-hatred. I asked him if part of the reason he's always telling me that I'm amazing is to absolve himself of the guilt of not doing things I do/assure himself that it's fine that I do more to hold us together and he just looked sad and said "you caught that huh?".

It feels like it's over. I can't move across the country, away from all of my support network, with someone who barely wants to be alive. But when I suggest moving somewhere closer he gets angry and says I'm holding on to where I grew up too hard.

God fucking damn it. I wanted it to be him so badly. But I'm so tired, and Its not like I'm thinking about hypothetical replacement partners. Honestly, at this point, in my fantasies about the future I am single.

#shouting into the void

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threshie · 1 year

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Hi, Tumblr, I'm Still Alive

Life has been a tad overwhelming for me lately. And by "lately" I mean for the past several years. Stuff that has been going on:

Family/loved ones having Big Medical Problems

Trying to prevent myself having Big Medical Problems (by scheduling Big Scary Medical Procedure)

Parents moving close by after years away

Have figured out after much, much research that I'm almost certainly somewhere on the autism spectrum (lots of feeling like an imposter and like nobody's gonna accept me/believe me coming along with it... Oof.)

Securing stable fully-functioning place to live (ongoing, but workin' on it. In the meantime, fridge has failed/spoiled all fresh food 4+ times in the past couple of years.)

Disrupted my writing/publishing schedule as a full-time indie author to start a part-time summer job (stressed seeing my sales momentum slow down, struggling to focus in on writing the 2 days per week I have for it right now. Still writing and sending out newsletters ever other week, though!)

Really tired and feeling burnt out, but can't slow down the merry-go-round of life.

A weekend where I just get to stay home and do my own thing for more than one day in a row happens only once or twice per month lately.

Missing having more time to make art and to write without deadlines.

I still have plans to refund everybody who ordered an art commission from me who never got one. I know it's been a couple of years by now, but I never intended to take anybody's money and not deliver what I promised, so I want to make it right. Have been waiting to be financially able to, and I think that time is soon.

I hope everybody on Tumblr is doing okay. I'm not sure how many folks I knew are still on here, even, but if you're an old pal, know I wish you well! Hang in there.

-Threshie ♥

#threshie #threshasketch #thoughts #yup I'm still out here somewhere #sorry if I haven't posted new art #or updated my fanfics #or finished art commissions #I've been in survival mode for a few years now #finally coming out of it and trying to get back to the things that make me happy #like fanart and fanfic #♥

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alostlittleriverlotus · 1 year

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One thing I have noticed with my narcissism (and PDs in general, ya know what, neurodivergency in general cause this is related to my autism and ADHD too) is that people will never perceive me correctly. I will always be seen as what they want to see. And I think that's one reason I'm so attached to MA. After so much work, so many years, and all of that, she doesn't see me as some expectation. Sometimes she does because she's traumatized and has a people pleasing problem, but I can just tell her that she is projecting onto me because she's in an emotional state and she listens.

So many people just see what they want. It's why I can feel I never can communicate properly (and the fact I'm semispeaking and I become overwhelmed by my thoughts.)

Like this is why I am so unstable with how I see myself. Yeah there's the trauma, but it's the fact that no one really looks at me as me. I speak and can feel not even heard and being misinterpreted despite working hard to say precisely what I think. Even with my closest loved ones, the good ones basically, I get this. And it doesn't help that with this misinterpretation that I am often demonized. I've been told I'm lying and faking, I'm a psycho/sociopath, I'm a narcissist (derogatory), I am selfish, I am a monster, and so much more. Family, friends both ex and old ones that I lost contact with, my abusive ex. Some of it is abuse and others are just...complete lack of understanding.

MA truly feels like the one person who SEES me and doesn't shove unfair expectations onto me. When I struggle to communicate my thoughts and I get overwhelmed and experience speech loss, he lets me take my time and accepts that he has misunderstood what he said. That happens a lot since our minds work VERY differently. But even with us having minds that work and process things extremely differently, I feel more understood by him than anyone else.

No one sees me for me. I am not my own being, I am simply existing for others. And that's why I fucking over explain and have so much anxiety. From small comments I make on a subject to my own posts to my close relationships.

And I am mad about it. It only worsens my desire to be understood which makes me feel more isolated and struggling to connect with others. I'm delusional as shit, dissociated as fuck, and have a very unstable grip on reality. And if I complain about shit, I am made to feel in the wrong. I'm just so frustrated by how I've been treated by everyone around me.

I often feel like such shit for preferring MA to my girlfriend, but MA is the single person I can 1000% unmask around. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have had a safe space to unmask and learn I'm a system or I have NPD and ASPD.

I dunno how to end posts so that's the end of my rant. Just frustrated. How much I've masked and it's still never been enough. How much I have worked to appeal to the expectations of others only to be called awful things and told I am a selfish, uncaring person even by my own "friends." To be treated like I'm some obsessive, controlling monster. My close loved ones now aren't like that, but I still feel I cannot unmask and be fully open with them. There is still an expectation from them that I cannot fulfill anymore.

I'm so tired of masking around everyone except MA cause they're the only person to truly make me feel safe to express myself. I'm so tired of constantly having to worry about others' feelings just to avoid abandonment. I'm so tired of having to fulfill the perfect friend role just because I've been left before. I wish they could make me feel safe and listen to me, but even when I open up, they misconstrue what I say. I love MA so much. Having that single person that believes in you, loves you, sees you, listens to you and works to understand, allows you to be honest and to criticize and point out the reality of our relationship, it's fucking perfect. Thank you, MA, if you see this. I love you so much. You're my best friend and the one person who truly sees me. I'm proud of both of us for how far we've come and I will always be here to support you. Thank you for allowing me to unmask and be my traumatized, neurodivergent, disabled self. And I'm glad I can be the same for you. I know you say you wouldn't be who you are without me, but I don't even think I would have come out as enby if not for having you to allow me a safe space to explore my identity. Thank you, MA. I love you, adore you, treasure you. Thank you for always trying for me.

Even in these posts I make, I feel I have to over explain or carefully word the way I talk just to avoid the more negative crowd. I still have bad anxiety around the online world due to bad experiences just related to ships, characters, and pokemon so yeah. But I have come a long way and I'm a lot better than I used to be. I never would have admitted this much.

But um yeah, that's my rant. I'm tired, I've barely slept lol so I'm gonna go take a nap. Night night.

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saltymcsaltything · 1 year

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30 Days of Autism Acceptance - Day 11

11 April: If you learned to speak as a child (definition for this post: the ability to use spontaneous speech (mouth words) to communicate in at least two-word sentences), did your ability to speak improve after that, stayed the same, decrease, or did something happen that you can't speak at all anymore now?

I learned to speak early, but had some difficulties with certain sounds until I was around 4. I spoke with a very distinct rhythm with pauses between each word, especially if I was having trouble with certain words or was upset or Ill. Kind. Of. Like. Putting. A. Period. Between. Every. Word.

I love words and I learned to read and write early too, but I have always had times when words of any kind get harder. I love to talk, but speech is harder than writing, and takes more energy. Typing is relatively easy for me from a motor perspective compared to making my mouth move the right way to form words, and it doesn’t feel as cognitively demanding.

My speech improved by the time I was in school, but I had an unusual speech pattern. I spoke very loudly and often very rapidly, but I always had some difficulty with slurring, stuttering, saying the wrong word even if I am thinking the right one, or getting sounds mixed up between two words (spoonerisms). I always called the whole range of speech difficulties “tripping over my own tongue” the same way I called my balance and coordination problems “tripping over my own feet” - that’s what it still feels like.

However, whenever I am sick, tired, drunk, or overwhelmed, speech is the first thing to go. Motor function in general degrades and shuts down well before my cognition and memory become affected. It’s one reason why I hate taking opioids for pain - I turn into a floppy, immobile puddle of flesh and I can barely get words to come out, but the pain is still intense and I am still fully aware and alert. Sensory or emotional shutdowns tend to impact my speech as well, and I have non-speaking episodes. They used to be very rare when I was younger, but I’ve had dozens in the last several years.

#actually autistic #actuallyautistic #30daysofautismacceptance #2023

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docileandlazy · 6 months

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sick & tired of people seeing autistic people talk about how isolating being autistic can be & the more negative impacts of it & other autistic people respond with "well IM autistic and this doesn't happen to me so it isn't true/you can control this/etc." I am happy for you that your autism manifests mainly in collecting/hyperfixating/info dumping. That's good for you. Mine also manifests in that way. It also happens to manifest in a difficulty to understand and convey tone, an inability to hold conversation, a discomfort in almost all social situations including those that involve my friends, constant feelings of being Different, difficulty understanding social cues, getting overwhelmed incredibly easily, and so many other things. The way your autism manifests doesn't mean mine cannot manifest in a completely different way. That's how autism works. It's different for everyone. Not everyone has to like or accept their autism. Because it does suck a lot of the time. I joke about it, but it sucks. It frequently leaves me feeling lost and like I've done everything wrong. So while neurotypical people have no place in the conversation whatsoever, it's incredibly disheartening to see other neurodivergent people trying to police how we experience our symptoms and lives. We are all unique. I love being autistic because it helps make me who I am. I hate being autistic because no single thing has ever made me feel more alone in my life. Idk. Just been having some experiences lately !

#pryn

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pawjamas · 2 years

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How you want to be about your schizophrenia is how I want to be about my bpd which is why I made my post a while ago talking about your (and other people I know’s) schizophrenia indirectly along with my (and other people’s) bpd. Like I’m tired of people being like “being mean has nothing to do with being mentally ill” and it’s like you’re right but when I’m tired from being chronically ill and maybe my mood stabilizing meds aren’t doing their job and my bpd issues are acting up maybe I’m going to be a bit more short-tempered and that’s going to directly result in me being snappy and a bit meaner than normal or than I’d like to be. Or it’s harder to filter out what I say. Things like that. Like I’m not trying to “be mean” but if things piss me off then I get frustrated and I don’t have a good way of channeling that in the moment when someone is trapping me in a conversation like it’s going to come out verbally then. Yeah things can be worked on but like also it’s a personality disorder. It’s a symptom.

-Silver

i completely understand what you’re saying! i can get irritable myself not only from my mood disorder (schizoaffective) but even my autism - the reality is these disorders are going to have symptoms like these that aren’t pleasant, and to expect otherwise is ridiculous. these disorders disrupt functioning and regulating moods. i do try my best to communicate beforehand to my wife and anyone else however if i’m doing poorly as to prevent myself from getting to a boiling point, sometimes i’m already too overwhelmed to though so i express my frustration by shutting down or being a bit more short-tempered as you explained you do as well. it’s difficult to deal with but i absolutely think you should be more open about your experiences w/ bpd on your blog - bringing awareness to these sort of things brings more understanding & acceptance too.

#letters 💌#silver ♡

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roach-works · 3 years

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the ‘if i fits, i sits’ model of fanon: the Mitchells are autistic

so maybe i’m just projecting here but i think the entire Mitchell family, in the Mitchells Vs The Machines movie, are autistic as hell, and also quite probably don’t know this about themselves.

like! i absolutely loved the movie, it was incredibly funny and cute, and then on every level it was like ‘yeah this is a bunch of people who don’t quite know why they’re so weird, why mimicking normal suburban behavior never really works for any of them, why they often fail to connect even with each other because they all have very different interests and ways of coping with frustration and disappointment, because they have clashing stims and overload thresholds, because the world is just A LOT TO DEAL WITH and they all retreat and engage in different ways. but they love each other, and as soon as they accept each other’s individual strengths and weirdnesses, they click.’

like. they’re autistic. that’s a family of autistic people. that’s what’s going on there. the daughter leans full-throttle into peak meme digital absurdism because it covers her own inability to enjoy or reproduce more classically coherent art, though underneath she’s begging viewers--and her own dad--to see past the oversaturated mask of Nothing Matters Lol and to say, hey, you matter.

the dad’s overwhelmed at all times with the anxiety of being a suburban patriarch and needs to hyperfocus on woodsy survivalist stuff to have a sense of control over his life; to translate the artificial and increasingly digitally-bounded environment he’s stuck in into a more simple and authentic environment that he deeply regrets leaving. he hangs on to an ancient car, he wears the same clothes for twenty years.

the mom is trying to be a good housewife by calibrating everything she does to instagram models of domesticity-- there’s a RIGHT way to do things, and so what if they suck to do? they’re right, they look right, everyone says they’re right. their home is crammed with Live Laugh Love generic decorations that don’t even suit it because they clash with the authentic, messy, chaos of the family’s actual personality. every year her husband and daughter just clash worse, as her daughter grows up pretty unapologetically into someone the dad just can’t understand and isn’t even trying to. the mom’s tired, lost, stressed-out and jealous and full of an anger that isn’t acceptable for women to express. she’s not getting it right and she’s trying so hard and why isn’t it that enough?

the boy just fucking loves dinosaurs and gets so overloaded looking at his crush that he has to scream and throw himself out the nearest window, and i respect that immensely.

i feel like in a year or so the son is going to get diagnosed with autism, and the dad is going to say ‘what? but that’s normal. everyone’s like that. i’m like that.’ and then there’ll be a really big ‘OH!!!’ from the rest of them.

#mitchells vs the machines #spoilers #'but wouldn't the daughter have figured it out already'#look when you're a teenage lesbian #that tends to be the big thing that explains everything else about you #for a while #bunch of other stuff: the girl wears messy clothes until they wear out #the dad wears the same jacket for decades #they bite themselves and pull their hair when stressed the fuck out #they're all creative and obsessive #they're all extremely clumsy #yeah it's a slapstick cartoon #but cmon #if it fits i sits

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aggressive-positivity-network · 3 years

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Do you have any autistic Scout headcanons? :P

Hell yeah!

I’ve actually thought about this a lot. A lot of people might think that Scout has ADHD, but I think he either has both ADHD and autism or just autism.

This is both because labeling Scout as having just ADHD is kind of a low-hanging fruit, and I also want to explore his symptoms a little more. So, in a word, I do, and thank you for asking about them!

*****************

Scout’s Spectrum:

So, where exactly does Scout fall on the autism spectrum?

First of all, he probably has both ADHD and autism, but wasn’t diagnosed with the latter until much later. This means that some of his symptoms were taken into account, but not all.

The ones that were paid attention to ramped up out of control, and the ones he didn’t hear about were stuffed away.

His ADHD symptoms include impulsiveness, need for stimulation, hyperfixations, forgetfulness, and insomnia; his autism symptoms include trouble with social skills, stimming, near inability to remember names and faces, lack of eye contact, hyperfixations again, and sensory processing issues, especially with noise and touch.

He used to have a lot of meltdowns when he was younger, usually about wearing new clothes and the amount of noise his eight brothers generated.

However, he was teased and pushed into masking nearly all the time, and made his whole personality about his ADHD, since that was what everyone accepted.

As he got older, he usually wrote off any autistic tendencies as either his ADHD or just “little habits” of his.

During his middle school years, he used energy drinks to bounce back from being exhausted every day after school. This would work, except those energy drinks would upset his ADHD, and would make it much harder to focus on even basic conversation.

After a while, he got such bad grades and had such a hard time making friends that Scout just stopped going to school altogether.

Baseball helped his focus, and the quick movement and thinking made a lot of sense to him. He never had to wait very long for the next development, and the instant gratification and community it provided supplemented what he never got at school.

With sports on his side, he rarely ever drank any energy drinks (the coach would never let them on the field), and he drank bucketfuls of water during every meet and game. Those teenage years were probably the healthiest he ever was.

However, with the amount of rumbles he got into with his brothers, and the turf wars that constantly raged in those neighborhoods, it was only a matter of time before his crime caught up with him.

After his first incarceration, he was booted from the team, which led to a downward spiral of unhealthy coping mechanisms - which included fighting someone tooth and nail whenever he could.

Even if he lost the fight, it not only catered to his impulsive nature and impatience, but also gave him roughly the same sense of friendship and camaraderie that baseball had.

One thing led to another, and by the time Mann Co. found him, Scout was a monster in hand to hand (and bat to bat) and had racked up quite the criminal record.

A perfect mercenary, ripe for the picking.

On The Team:

Scout very quickly adopted the “stupid, scrappy Boston boy” persona.

It was the only thing that made sense, and it kept him from having to try too hard in both the battlefield and socially.

Besides, that meant that he could be as silly, forgetful, and fidgety as he wanted, and no one would bat an eye.

And if he ever needed to take a break from the team, he figured everyone would appreciate the quiet.

The only thing that ever gave him away was him occasionally dissociating right when battle began, especially if the day had been stressful.

It was usually how he calmed down after a fight when he was young, but now he sometimes slid into that state when he was overwhelmed.

However, a yell from one of his teammates would usually snap him out of it.

Medic noticed this pretty early on, and wanted to look more into it, but Scout would keep making excuses not to get a mental examination.

He would blame it on zoning out, being tired, drinking too many Bonks - whatever it took for people to stop asking.

And, eventually, they did.

Even Medic stopped asking after a while - he couldn’t get a thing out of Scout.

This “try so little that when you do try it’s above average” charade worked for a long time. In fact, it went on for so long that Scout forgot how much he was actually capable of.

He began to internalize the stupidity, the exacerbation, the many comments on how dumb he was, everything.

The only time he ever gave his all was on the battlefield - moving fast, memorizing strategies, doing complicated footwork, knowing exactly how much force it took to crush someone’s skull with his bat.

That was one of the only things that he felt good doing, the only thing he could really work on without him being “found out.”

That and drawing, though he never showed the actual pieces to anyone. It was all stick figures and crooked lines with everyone else.

Sometimes, though, Scout wouldn’t be paying attention and he’d let something slip.

One time, Engineer was looking for his screwdriver, and couldn’t seem to find it anywhere.

Scout, not looking up from his comic, said, “Under the couch cushion, hard hat.”

Engineer bent down and reached into the couch, and his hand came back with his red and yellow striped screwdriver.

“Well I’ll be damned…”

At first Engineer thought Scout had just hid it, but Scout explained, still not paying attention:

“Last time we went out on th’ field, you had it on your belt, like always. But I was walkin’ by your workshop, you were usin’ a quarter to tighten a screw or somethin’. Your screwdriver had to be somewhere between the battlefield and your workshop. Engie, you’re like freakin’ clockwork. Every day, after a fight, you go to the kitchen, get a water, go to that couch, between the second and third cushion from the left, and sit there. Then ya go back to the fridge to get lunch and a beer, and ya go to your workshop until somebody needs you for somethin’. Your back loop in your tool belt is looser than all the others, ‘cause the screwdriver pulls against it when you sit down. The shank was probably in between the two cushions, and when you got up, it fell in. Demo, Pyro, and Heavy all sit on the second or third cushion at some point, so it got shimmied down. And since that’s the only time you sat down, ‘cause you woulda heard it if it dropped on the floor, and I…uh…”

“I’ll be damned,” Engie repeated, and felt the back tool belt loop. It was indeed loose.

Scout finally looked up, and realized what had happened.

“Uh, uh - l-lucky guess, huh Engie?”

Engineer squinted behind his goggles. “Yeah…real lucky…”

What ensued was Engie trying to get Scout to turn into a B.L.U Spy by chasing him around with his wrench. After a few good hits, though, Engineer saw that it was the teammate he knew and loved.

“But…how didja…?”

Scout threw his hand up, the other rubbing the back of his head where he’d been hit.

“I toldja Engie! Lucky guess! Jesus!”

Ever since then, Scout chose his words more carefully.

The Breakdown:

But, unfortunately, Scout could not pretend forever.

There was one week where Scout’s assignment count was so high that, if he wasn’t in a fight, he was on a mission.

Usually, Pauling wouldn’t trust him with so much, but no one else was available - or willing - to do the jobs.

Even when she was getting concerned about the amount of hours Scout was putting in, he blew it off.

“It’s no sweat, Miss Pauling! Their practically givin’ me the pay day. Those yahoos don’t know who they’re messin’ with.”

Over time, though, Scout had a harder and harder time staying focused and alert.

He’d sleep through alarms, stare off into space, zone out completely during briefing (not that he didn’t already do that), have a hard time hearing people in battle - even through his headset - ignore Spy’s taunts, and even forget to bring his bat onto the field.

Nothing seemed to help - Bonk!, warming up, stretching, cold showers, setting reminders, nothing.

And the team was starting to notice.

At first it was with the regular frustration - maybe Scout was just being lazy.

But as time went on, and his condition grew worse, their scorn turned into worry. They implored Medic to do something, but he had no way of getting through to Scout.

The doctor wasn’t above simply sedating him and dragging him into his lab for a check-up. However, he had a feeling that this was more than a physical issue.

The worst came when Scout was doing a routine battle with the B.L.U team on the field.

Everything had started out okay - he even remembered to bring his bad this time - but suddenly, everything was ear-splittingly loud.

He couldn’t focus on more than one sound at once, much less communicate the best course of action to his teammates.

He ended up hiding in a dilapidated shed, in a dusty, dark corner, somewhere between zoning out and panicking.

Scout’s head was in his knees, he was shaking, close to crying, when a sudden splitting of wood roused him.

A B.L.U Soldier had kicked his way into the shed, either having heard Scout or to hide from the other team.

Scout was stunned at first, but something of a blind terror filled him. He picked up his bat, screamed, and started pummeling the surprised Soldier.

At some point, he threw aside his bat and began to swing punch after punch, just like he did in his gang days when he had felt overwhelmed. Still screaming. Still crying.

By the time Scout had dissolved into a rocking, sobbing mess, the Soldier was long dead, with a gigantic pool of blood staining Scout’s shoes.

No one even knew where Scout was until a few hours later, when Spy heard a faint note of “Sexbomb” coming from Scout’s Walkman.

Scout had crawled into the shed’s framework, between the outer and inner wall, and was playing a specific verse over and over and over again, looking like he was on another plane of existence.

Spy immediately called for Medic, who had to lift Scout out by the underarms through a jagged hole in the side of the building. By then, the fight was over, so they could take him directly to the lab.

Medic’s Evaluation:

“I’m guessing zhis is your first mental breakdown?”

“Mental…doc, I ain’t crazy. Wait, you’re not goin’ to put me in a straight jacket, are ya?”

“If you’re not doing anyzhing later.”

Medic started to laugh, but quickly realized this might not be the time.

“No, Scout, everyvun has a mental breakdown at least vunce in their lives. It’s a…how do you say…a vake-up call of sorts. Vhen your body has no other options left.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“For zhe past few months, you health, both physical and mental, has been deteriorating. You eat less. You talk less. Your attacks are lackluster. You have bags under your eyes. You flinch vhen somevun yells for you. You stare off into space. Your routine, vhich usually has at least some changes, has become stringent, as if you can’t possibly expend any more energy into extra activities. You have avoided Demoman on zhe battlefield, even though you usually use him for cover.”

Medic flipped through his notes.

“I have pages and pages of your decline. However, as a scientist, I believe it is caused by zhe same source. And, though I usually respect my patient’s right to privacy vhen it comes to these sorts of matters, I believe you’ve been keeping something from me. Something that I should know as your general practitioner…your doctor.”

Scout shrugged, already shutting out the conversation.

Medic sighed.

“Maybe I tried to talk to you about zhis too soon. After all, you’ve just had a very sudden and exhausting episode. But…perhaps…”

Medic took a sheet of printer paper from his clipboard and a spare pen from his pocket.

“…zhere is an alternative.”

Scout was still unresponsive, but Medic continued.

“Zhere is a patient in my vaiting room vis a metal pole through the chest. It vill take me at least an hour to properly remove it, and a few minutes more to heal zhe area. Vhile I do zhat, vhy don’t you draw how you feel?”

Medic smiled.

“I know how much it grounds you.”

It wasn’t until Medic left that Scout actually picked up the pen, but he began drawing immediately.

For the first time in a while, he wasn’t trying to hide his strokes or scratch up the cleaner lines. No more stick figures. No more pretending.

Five minutes later, he was fully engrossed.

Medic started to walk in at one point, but, seeing how relaxed Scout was, decided to give him a few more minutes.

He deserved it.

#tf2 #tf2 scout #scout tf2 #tf2 headcanons #headcanon requests #tf2 mercs #autism #autistic community #autistic culture #red team #blu team #valve games

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not-enough-teeth-and-treasures · 3 years

Text

An Autistic’s Perspective on Tears of Themis’ Representation (spoiler alert: it’s bad)

Before you read, I should warn you that there will be spoilers for Chapter Five! Read at your own risk. Also, trigger warning for discussions of ableism and harmful disablility stereotypes. I get pretty heated as well, so if you’re not a fan of swearing and stuff, then it might be best to skip this.

So, I was debating whether or not I wanted to talk about this, mostly because this game doesn’t do anything new in regards to the perception of autism in media. Unfortunately, it ends up leaning into a lot of not great tropes and goes into “what the fuck that’s incredibly offensive territory” waaay to quickly. So here I am.

The most prevelant character with autism (or who we start out thinking has autism. Don’t worry, I’ll get to that) is a small, supergenius child (a boy as well *sigh*) is so overdone at this point that there aren’t many new criticisms I can say. The stereotype of autism presented in media is overwhelmingly extremely intelligent (usually with sciency or math based interests) men with no ability to socialize or be kind to others. This not only paints autism as a disability that effects men primarily (which creates intense stigma around AFAB autistic people and makes it harder for us to get diagnosed or believed), but also creates this expectation of greatness. Autistic people are often held to superhuman standards, which further others and dehumanizes us in the eyes of allistic people. The vast majority of autistic people are not savants, and that it perfectly fine.

But all of this is pretty standard. The red flags started popping up when it was revealed that the autistic kid, Hugh, doesn’t actually have autism and is faking it in order to keep people from asking hard questions about him or trying to pry into his life (which is full of secrets). I’m definitely not a fan of perpetuating the idea that people fake diabilities in order to manipulate people, so this plot twist was not my favorite. However, it wasn’t really enough to inspire me to write a whole ass essay about the representation. And then I got to the fucking text conversation with Vyn.

Here is where I’m gonna put a trigger warning for talk about eugenics, curing autism, ableism, and basically just a fuck ton of awful shit. Fuck, this makes me so mad.

So, I went in and took screenshots of both options just to see, and all of them lead to terrible bullshit. Lets start out pretty light with the MC and Vyn discussing symptoms.

This is a pretty limited and honestly incomplete explanation of autistic behaviors. These can definitely be symptoms, but they’re heavily overcovered and really basic. A lot of autistic people don’t have these symptoms, and it would be really nice if more media branched out and covered more of the spectrum. However, considering they don’t do anything different in any other areas, I’m not surprised.

Also not a fan of Vyn’s use of “abnormal.” It has some very negative connotations and is a bit insulting, honestly. These behaviors are perfectly “normal;” they’re just not as accepted by neurotypical people. Plus, no behaviors can really be labeled as normal because humans are complex and different.

That was the easy shit. Let’s get into the truly awful garbage.

This is treading into ABA territory here. For those of you who are unaware, ABA is pushed as the best autistic therapy, but a large majority of autistic adults consider it to be abusive and unhelpful. This is mainly because it seeks to “correct” many behaviors that are helpful for autistic people. It seeks to surpress stims (which are behaviors that improve the mental health of autistic children), force us to talk (as opposed to letting us use sign language and technology), and more. This harms our mental health and makes us ashamed of who we are. These behaviors do not need to be “corrected.” We don’t need to act “normally.” All this therapy does is make us more palitable for neurotypical people, and it’s bullshit.

It also doesn’t help that ABA was pioneered by Ivar Lovaas, a man who did not believe autistic people were human. He developed ABA as a way to “build a person” using harsh punishments such as withholding affection and ELECTRIC SHOCKS. If you think this is a think of the past, you’d be wrong. Electric shocks are still being used to harm disabled people. Look up the hashtag #StopTheShock to learn more and help push for legislation that bans this practice.

Oh, and did I mention Ivar Lovaas also inspired gay conversion therapy? Because he did! So yeah, fuck ABA and fuck Vyn for performing it (god damn it, Vyn, I liked you a lot).

And now, onto the eugenics. Fuck my life.

FUCK! THIS! BULLSHIT!

I am so tired of autism being treated as this horrific disease that needs a cure. I had a perfectly fine childhood. Yes, it was hard at times, yes I got traumatized, but a large part of that was due to ableism and abuse from teachers and peers. A large reason why autistic people suffer is because the world is not built for us, and we are often denied accommodations that would make our lives better.

It is beyond offensive and disgusting to suggest that we would be better off not existing than “suffering so much” because of autism. Because that is what this game and everyone else who thinks there should be a cure is suggesting. There is no me without autism. it literally affects my brain structure. You are wishing for a completely different person when you tell me that autism should be cured.

Now, I’m not going to get into the horrible consent issues that arise from talks about a cure, including genetic editing, fear mongering to parents so they think abortion is the only option, and straight up Nazi style eugenics. I do not have the spoons to delve into that exhausting discussion. But if you want to know more, then there are so many incredible autistic people who have written blogs, Twitter threads, and more about why a cure is a terrible idea.

Oh, and if you’re going to come at me with the “severely autistic people should be cured” bullshit, don’t bother. There is no such thing as “severe” autism, first of all, and second, non verbal autistic people (which are who people think of when they talk about “severe” autism), largely don’t want a cure. There have been so many surveys of tens of thousands of autistic people, and the result is that the overwhelming majority do not want to be cured. We want support and proper accommodations. Listen to us.

So, in conclusion, fuck this text conversation and it’s ableist and offensive bullshit. I really wish ToT had stayed away from autism, or at the very least did not touch on therapy or a possible cure. For a game that is about genetic experimentation on children and how bad that is, it sure peddles a lot of eugenics.

Fuck, this text conversation actually made me ill and I hate that. I’m so done with constantly trying to prove to the world that I am a human being who deserves to exist. I’m gonna go cuddle my service dog now.

#tears of themis #vyn richter #autism #autistic perspective #autism representation #seriously can we stop treating my disability like a disease? Is that so fucking hard?#i don't need a cure #i deserve to exist #aba is abuse #autistic people deserve to exist #hugh tears of themis #tot #tot vyn #god damn it vyn I simped for you

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creacherkeeper · 2 years

Note

hi!!! I saw you mention being a rare autistic extrovert, I think I might be also???

I enjoy interacting with strangers at a low level (crowds are overwhelming) such as short conversations with random people at the grocery store. Also longer conversations about interesting topics and connections with amicable coworkers. I have an innate desire to connect with most people. I also end up making a lot of eye contact accidentally because I’m looking at faces a lot and trying to discern if I know someone. I may not read social cues or body language I’m not attuned to and I have to consciously think about lots of cues and I constantly make my partner cringe (autistic and more introverted) when I break unspoken social rules. I turn my head a lot at noises and kinda catch myself staring at people who look interesting.

i also think i try to interact a lot with people who aren’t interested in interacting with me, and maybe my enthusiasm is offputting?

I mentioned to my friend that eye contact isnt uncomfortable and they stared really intensely at me and I shuddered, so I guess I do have issues with eye contact but it’s not painful or anything? I find myself unmasking a bit and looking away from people when I talk to them and it helps me concentrate on conversation.

It gives me relief that I’m not the only autistic person who doesn’t feel all that introverted. Eye contact and desire for social connection make me feel all impostery even though I meet the criteria pretty well.

Is this similar to your experience, and have you met other extroverted autistics?

hi!! yeah it sounds like you are pretty extroverted, but also some of what you said sounds sensory seeking too? looking at noises, reading expressions, staring at people, eye contact - all of those things can be sensory as well as social, so it seems like you have an overlap there

i like spending a lot of time with people and find myself very drawn to social interactions, whether its new internet friends or coworkers or talking to people for my job (like, i currently work as a social worker who does one on one sessions with clients, the vast majority of the time i feel better after sessions than i did before them). i definitely get very tired and brain funky if i dont have a lot of interaction. i have a lot of friends and still worry that im bugging them too much because i just like talking to them constantly

i definitely get what you mean with the imposter syndrome. but its important to remember that all autistic people are different and the autism "spectrum" covers a wide variety of traits. some autistic people have no problem socially or with eye contact and thats fine! it doesnt make them less autistic! and even two autistic people who have issues with social interaction can look entirely different

im probably the most extroverted autistic i know, but i definitely know autistics who are extremely charismatic and do very well for themselves socially. over the years as ive learned more about myself and others, ive grown a LOT in this area and now find it rather easy to engage with most people, have few problems communicating, and have been told that i am charming and generally well liked. but it was a PROCESS to get here because i used to be something of a fucking mess lmao. i think the key thing was that a lot of my skills in this area were LEARNED WITH GREAT INTENTION and i think thats where the difference is between me and an NT who just has these things come naturally. and i think another thing was just learning self confidence and self acceptance, like ive found that people tend to be drawn to someone whos confident and who can laugh at themself but doesnt really mind if they come across a little weird or unusual, compared to someone whos very self conscious or anxious about how they appear to others. like not being ashamed of your little oddities can go a long way!!!

#i hope i answered your question my mind is very scattered rn lol

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asmolemmeeatyouout · 4 years

Text

The Boys With an Autistic MC HC !! (SFW !)

(aka I’m projecting bc sad) (I also have adhd so there will be adhd moments)

Lucifer:

This boy has so much work yet he still find the time to help you put together a routine

WILL make sure you stick to it

He will rearrange the entire school if it will help you

If any demon and I mean ANY demon is even the slightest bit mean to you they go mysteriously missing the next day

Sometimes he infantilises you but he doesn’t mean to, tell him to cut it out and the shame will rip through him

In line with that you will probably find him cutting the crusts off your sandwiches and rearranging your stuffies, up to you if you want him to stop that (I hate crusts and my teddies deserve to be comfortable too)

Makes sure you’re accommodated everywhere in the devildom not just rad and and the hol

One day you realise his suit jacket? Perfect fabric for stimming

He starts dressing according to the fabrics you like

Let’s you hold his sleeve arm when talking bc it’s a good stim

Will put his jacket on you when you’re overwhelmed and need some familiarity

You start to associate his smell with safety

Mammon:

Pretends he doesn’t care

Treats you the most normal out of all the brothers

Has actually memorised your routine and knows your stressors/meltdown/shutdown triggers

White knights you very subtly

You think demons are very accepting in the devildom but in reality mammon does the same as luci but his approach is much more ‘stop it before it starts’

Buys you stimmies bc he loves the way you look when you’re happy stimming (yes BUYS not steals)

Too embarrassed to give you them so they just appear in your room

He’s just coincidentally in the hallway when you come rushing out to show people

You eventually realise it’s gotta be him bc he’s always there when you find em so you just start running directly to him

Loves it if you have echolalia

Tries to get you to repeat ‘the great mammon’ as much as possible

If he finds you repeating words/beeping at the microwave he will engage and do the same until you happy stim (then he will try get you to repeat ‘mc’s first man the great mammon’

If you start calling him that ?! The boy will melt. (I get intense echolalia with ‘mammonie’ and i think he would straight up die hearing mc go ‘mammonie mammonie mammonie’

After all it makes sense that the great mammon is constantly on your mind

Levithian:

Another nerd ?! Heck yeah!! !

Very glad you aren’t a normie

Perhaps relates the most to your experience against the allistics as ppl don’t like him bc he’s a ‘yucky okatu’

Loves when you talk about a special interest (SI) because you’re just as obsessive as he is

Will try and get you obsessed with anime and manga if you aren’t already

Is a shut in so he gets that people are overwhelming and scary at times

Is uncharacteristically vulnerable and open with you bc he feels like you understand his existence at a deeper level

If you like squishes (and show him first) he will start asking for the deep pressure hugs when he feels he needs them

But ofc bc you’re both you, the method for asking is just repeating the word squish over and over while you hug

Eye contact !? Oh hell no

Most of your conversations are done facing away from each other

Asmodeus:

Same clothes? Comfort items? No no no no no you gotta look beautiful like you are!

Does not entirely get it at first, how can anyone want to wear something more than once?

Once you explain it he will drag you shopping (to high end shops, using avoiding crowds as an excuse to pamper you) to find a signature, beautiful, comfortable and easy to put on outfit for you to wear

He will then buy 30 of them just in case you lose anything

He WILL give you presents randomly after you told him you like to wear clothing with emotional significance

Bonding time includes decorating your ear defenders and sunglasses

If your SI is anything to do with fashion or beauty or just asmo things in general this boy will NEVER leave your side. You become the only person he wants to talk to

If you excited stim by bouncing, hand flapping or squealing he is right there with you creating a feedback loop of excited stimming

When he finds out you like routine he will check you’re doing the beauty routine he made for you every night

If you’re too tired he will do it for you (or even if you just ask he loves being close to you)

If you’re touch repulsed he will ask every time before he even gets close to you (EVERY DAMN TIME ! This man understands consent and the fact that some days touch is too much others it’s not)

Satan:

Acts like lucifer visa the routine n rad but with no infantilising

Reads every study ever done on autism and neurodivergence ever

ANGOR at human world autism studies bc they’re dumb and there’s so much more interesting things to investigate to do with being autistic

He does go to the human world and he does stab a$$ and those involved

If you let him he will study you

Tracks your sleep, eating habits, and mood regulation (after he asks ofc)

Meltdowns? No that’s a regular day in Satan’s head

He lets you use his rage room (he definitely has a room exclusively for smashing stuff) if you feel even a little stressed

Likes talking about your SI’s with you bc it’s rare he finds someone so knowledgeable on a subject

Beelezebub:

The kindest most patient boy

Helps you find foods that don’t mess with your texture issues

Checks to make sure you’ve eaten in case you’ve been distracted and not realised you’re hungry

Doesn’t understand AFRID because food is good?? But is willing to help you with it (see previous points)

Stims with you because it makes you happy

Will let you info dump for hours even if he doesn’t get it

Is generally very warm so he makes the perfect person for squishes

Perfectly happy to just sit in silence and not talk or make eye contact

Belphagor:

Definitely understands the exhaustion that comes with being disabled

If you even look overstimulated he will kidnap you for a nap (whether than be physically or if you’re touch repulsed he will fake an emergency (the emergency is you being over stim Ed) just to get u out, it’s the only thing he puts effort into)

Shares his secret super soft blanket stash bc you are the only one who can appreciate how freaking soft the texture is

Best person to look after you in a shutdown bc he kinda gets it

Gets his own ear defenders and sunglasses so he can sleep in class (claims it’s solidarity with you)

Just enjoys your company like his bro so ditto on the silence thing

(There’s more I can think of but this is already really long, comment if u want part 2)

#obey me #satan obeyme #obey me asmo #asmodeus hc #obey me levithian #obey me mammon #lucifer obey me #beelezebub obey me #belphagor obey me #obey me hc #headcanons #actuallyautistic #adhd #obey me autistic #obey me x reader #autistic mc #autisticmc

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