#-im like unreasonably happy about how this came out!! ^^

[mouseinsweater]

socksbx hearthian fr?

#my art #art #outer wilds #hearthian #socksbx #-im like unreasonably happy about how this came out!! ^^ #-hearthians r legit so cool n translating a design into that sorta vibe was so fun!! #-swear to god i need to watch more streamers just so i can do more of this sorta stuff..

[ellecdc]

DONT TEASE ME WITH PLATONIC BARTY AND BIG BRITHER SIRIUS STOP IM ON MY KNEES PLEASEE 🪩

okay so this accidentally ended up being almost 5.5k words??? whoopsie daisy.

this concept was a collaboration with @unstablereader and also intertwined a few requests for best friend Barty, big brother Sirius, and poly!moonwater hurt comfort!!

poly!moonwater x fem!reader who was bitten over the winter hols

CW: Best Friend Barty (i.e., swearing, chaos, slight insanity), Big Brother Sirius (i.e., coddling, bad cop, certified dumbass), swearing swearing swearing, slight muggle blasphemy, description of wounds/blood/injury, discussion of Sacred 28 Pureblood Families, etc etc etc - hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending

Barty Crouch Junior was a plethora of dichotomies and contradictions. 

He was a good friend and a bad son. He was a smart boy who made horrible ideas. He was a rational person with unreasonable reactions. He was a menace and very reliable. He was a good lay and a bad boy. 

Barty liked that about himself though; he liked that no one ever knew what to expect when it came to Bartemus Crouch Junior. 

Though, he supposed to those who knew him, it would have been completely predictable for him to have stayed at Hogwarts over the winter holidays. Maybe he should have gone home – really surprised everyone then.

His nightly routine of trying to incendio Daily Prophet articles of his father with nonverbal and wandless magic was interrupted by an awkward thump on his dorm room door. 

“Come in?” Barty called awkwardly, unsure who might be at his door seeing as his friends were all home for the holidays and the staff here tended to avoid him like Dragon Pox.

The doorknob began to rattle but it sounded as if the person on the other side of the door was struggling to turn it.

“Salazar’s saggy balls. WHAT!?” He seethed as he ripped the door open, determined to teach whoever was stupid enough to bother him a lesson when he came face to face with you.

Except...except you were crying, and bloody, and so pale.

“Treasure!?” Barty squawked, awkwardly catching you as you began to slide down the door frame which you were leaning the entirety of your weight on. 

“Barty...I-” you started before a pained sob tore through your teeth. “I need help.”

“What happened?” Barty asked breathlessly, moving you from the door to his bed without your help after your left leg gave out on you.

“Barty...”

“What. Happened. Y/N?” He demanded.

“Barty, you cannot- cannot tell Reg and Remus. Pl- hnggh - please promise me you won’t tell them.”

“Tell them what, Treasure? What’s wrong!?” Barty pressed, beginning to panic when his bedding quickly became saturated with your blood. 

“Promise me!” You shrieked, your voice carrying the most clarity since you had arrived.

“Okay! I promise!” Barty agreed readily. You didn’t seem convinced, however.

You shakily held your pinky out to him and stared intensely at him. “Promise me that y-, that you will not tell Remus or, or Regulus.”

Barty looked between your eyes and your pinky before finally interlocking your pinky with his. “I promise I will not tell Remus or Regulus.”

More tears fell as you began pulling your long winter robes off. You were wearing a long sleeved shirt and long trousers, but Barty could tell most of the bleeding was coming from your leg. Your fingers were shaking too much as you unsuccessfully tried unbuttoning your trousers, so Barty silently asked for your permission before undoing the button and zip for you.

You pulled the pants to your knee to expose a large...werewolf bite on your left thigh.

“Treasure.” Barty breathed out horrified, looking back up at you with tears in his eyes. “What...what happened? No, I ... I can see what happened. How did this happen?”

“I...I just-”

And you passed out.

“No! No no no. Nononononono.” Barty chanted as he tried to rouse you awake.

“Okay Barty, come on, think. You didn’t achieve all twelve O.W.L’s for naught.” He berated himself, lying you down on his bed and pulling your trousers the rest of the way off.

He turned you onto your right side and tried elevating your leg to stop the blood flow after he realized a simple episkey was not going to close the wound.

He realized that the reason you’d been struggling to open the door was that your wrist appeared to be broken, and you’d been leaning onto the doorframe to keep your weight off of your injured leg. That he could fix with an episkey, so at least he wasn’t completely useless. 

His sweet, sweet Treasure. Bitten. By a werewolf!? Your parents...

Oh gods, your parents.

That’s why you were here.

You couldn’t go back home, not as a werewolf; your parents would kill you. The only thing worse to a Sacred 28 Family than a dead daughter would be a werewolf one.

Fuck. 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Any why couldn’t he tell Lupin and Regulus!? Lupin was probably the only person who could actually help you right now. Barty hated that – hated that someone else could help you and he couldn’t – but he also loved that you had people who loved you and could help you.

Fucking fuck, he was supposed to be burning moving pictures of his father right now, not trying to bring his best friend back from the brink of death.

“That’s enough Treasure, you need to wake up.” He muttered, shaking you by your shoulders gently. When that still didn’t work, he cast a quick rennervate. 

You groaned in pain and tried rolling onto your back. 

“No, Y/N, you need to stay like this. I need you to tell me what happened.”

You moaned again and turned back towards him; eyes shut tight in pain. 

“I...I needed to leave I, I – ugh.”

“Okay, okay. So you left, that much I can understand. How’d you get bitten?”

“I didn’t, I didn’t know it was there until it was too late, Barty. I swear it. I was following the trail behind my-my house and it just appeared! I fell back- backwards onto my arm when it lunged and I apparated once I realized what was happening, but it was...it was too- too late.”

“Where were you trying to go?”

“The Potter’s.”

“And why can’t you go there now?”

You opened your eyes at that, and Barty felt his heart fall out of his ass at the amount of pain that spilled from your eyes that had nothing to do with any of your various physical injuries.

“Rem... Rem hates himself. He hates The Wolf, he ha- hates his lycanthropy; he thinks he is a m... monster and deserves nothing. Barty, he’ll hate me.” You broke into a sob at the end of your sentence and Barty was very close to joining you.

He didn’t think you were right at all, mind you; he thinks it’d be rather impossible for anyone to hate you, least of all Lupin who seemed completely lovesick for you and Regulus. He didn’t think it was worth your energy to argue with you about it though, seeing as he already pinky promised not to go to the lycanthrope or your other boyfriend about this.

He didn’t know what to do, though. He needed to close this wound and stop the bleeding, he needed to pilfer from the infirmary, he needed to pilfer the potions supply closet, and he needed to figure out how to help a werewolf. And he needed to do all of these things whilst somehow not leaving your side at all. 

“I’m tired, Barty.” You murmured quietly, startling him from his internal panic.

“You can’t sleep, Treasure. Not until we close this wound and stop the bleeding.”

He pulled out his third year DADA textbook to find the chapter on werewolves. 

“Dangerous creature this, loss of moral sense that, right then – powdered silver and dittany applied to a fresh bite wound.” Barty recited as he read off his textbook. He looked over to your wound, still oozing and bleeding, though the new angle and elevation did seem to be helping staunch the blood flow at least a little.

“Right... fresh enough I suppose.” Barty sighed, making you promise to stay awake long enough for him to raid the potions supply closet and the infirmary to get the necessary ingredients.

Barty had been feeling quite confident in his plans.

Except something was very, very wrong.

The dittany and powered silver bubbled slightly where it interacted with your blood and flesh but didn’t seem to be sticking to your wound at all; it seemed that it was just causing you to moan in agony as Barty uselessly tried spreading it over your leg.

“You’re sure it was a werewolf that bit you?” He asked again. Barty was certain that if you were feeling better, you would have kicked at him.

He wished you could have kicked at him.

“Yes, Barty.” You cried.

“Oh, Treasure, I’m sorry.” He lamented, putting down his bowl of useless silver paste and brushing sweaty hairs away from your forehead.

“Salazar, you’re burning up, Y/N.” He commented, cupping your heated and flushed face with his hand. 

“I’m cold.” You argued, awkwardly trying to pull at his bedsheets to cover your arms. Barty hated to add more layers on you when your fever was this high, but he couldn’t really bring himself to deny you, either. 

Unfortunately, it appeared that Barty needed help. 

Unfortunately, Barty made you a promise.

Fortunately, there were ways around that. 

Unfortunately, that meant having to resort to a fate worse than death.

“Oh! Hello there.” Mrs. Potter greeted Barty as she rounded the corner after being alerted by the house elf that there was a student at the floo. “Are you looking for Regulus?”

Barty adorned his most charming (and least maniacal) grin as he bowed politely to Mrs. Potter like the proper Pureblood he'd been beaten raised to be. 

“Euphemia Potter – looking as smashing as ever.” He said before returning to his full height. “Actually, I’m here for the lesser Black brother today.”

Mrs. Potter narrowed her eyes at his comment but pursed her mouth as if fighting back a smile.

“Am I to assume you’re referring to Sirius, Barty?”

Barty sighed in admiration. “Smart and pretty, Euphemia; how do you do it?”

“I’ll be right back, Mr. Crouch.” Mrs. Potter called over her shoulder as she left the floo reception room. Barty quickly pulled out the charmed compact mirror he had connected to a hand mirror which he had set up beside you before he left. You were asleep and shivering violently, but you were alive.

Help is coming, Treasure. 

“Oh.” Barty heard, causing him to close the mirror and look up to see a confused looking Sirius pausing mid-step into the room. “Sorry, I’ll go get Regulus for you.”

Barty scoffed derisively. “Oh, come off it Black – give the woman a little credit, yeah? I asked for you. Now let’s go.” He barked, turning towards the floo flame.

He turned back when he realized Sirius wasn’t following him.

“Hello??” He called sarcastically. “Did you not hear me? I said let’s go.”

Sirius looked Barty up and down and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Why in the hells would I go anywhere with you?” Sirius asked bemusedly. 

“Black!” Barty seethed. “I do not have time for this, we have to go now.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what this is about.”

Barty sighed and looked down to the hells for patience or possibly extra strong demonic powers to get through this conversation with Sirius. 

“Where is Regulus right now?”

Sirius considered Barty skeptically but answered, nonetheless. 

“Upstairs with Remus.”

Barty looked at Sirius at that. “Is it safe to assume he is helping him recover from last night?”

Sirius’ face fell and he levelled Barty with a hard glare. “What the hell are you on about, Junior?”

“Black, please believe that there is absolutely nothing in this realm that I’d rather be doing than sitting here asking for your help but I’m here doing just that.”

“For what?”

Regulus was here, and Regulus was helping Lupin, which meant that Lupin was also here with his supernatural hearing. Barty made you a promise – he would not tell Regulus or Remus what has happened.

“I need your help, because I’ve found a lost Treasure that seems to be in some Trouble.” Barty explained slowly, praying to every god that Sirius would pick up on his not-so-subtle clues.

Sirius’ eyes stayed narrowed at Barty before they grew comically in understanding. 

“Where is-”

“Not here.” Barty interrupted. “Grab your things and come with me.”

“I have so many fucking questions.” Sirius muttered as he stepped through the floo, somehow ending up standing in the Slytherin common room. 

“Like?” Barty asked in a bored tone.

“How the hell did you manage to connect the floo network to the Slytherin common room?” He started, realizing that it probably wasn’t the most important question, but it seemed to take precedence in his mind.

Barty turned to sneer at Sirius, though his steps never faltered as he sped towards what Sirius could only assume was his dorm.

“Really, Black? I tell you that your future sister-in-law is in dire need of your help, and that’s what you’re- you know what? I’m not surprised. The floo network is easy to manipulate so long as you know how to dismantle ancient wards.” Barty explained dismissively.

 Easy. Dismantle ancient wards. Sure.

“What’s wrong with Y/N?” He asked much more seriously. Most (though not all) of the contempt drained from Barty’s face as he stopped in front of a door. 

“She...she was bitten.”

Sirius just stared dumbly at the absolute last person he imagined he'd be spending his morning with as he let that information process.

He wasn't given much time, however, as Barty quickly opened the door and disappeared into the room, clearly unbothered to see if Sirius was following him in or not.

“Treasure? Hey, hey; it’s okay. Look? I brought some help, okay? You’re alright.” He cooed at a curled-up form on his bed – your curled-up form.

“Oh, Trouble.” Sirius breathed out in disbelief, surveying your shaking and battered body before his gaze paused on your exposed thigh – clear as day was a large canine bite, still bleeding. 

“Oh, my girl.” Sirius cooed, feeling like he might be sick at the sight of one of his favourite people in the world in so much pain. It was very different from post moon care with Remus; Remus was seasoned, he was prepared, they were prepared.

You looked like you were dying.

“What’s wrong with her?” Sirius asked quickly, shaking himself and trying to force himself into action.

“Other than the very obvious werewolf bite?” Barty sneered. “She has a fever that won’t quit.”

“Take the blankets off.” Sirius ordered, earning him a whimper from your form.

“S’cold, Siri.” You whined.

“I know, Trouble, but you’re burning up.” He replied apologetically, pulling the blankets out of your currently much weaker grasp.

Barty looked like he was just as heartbroken as you were at the loss of the warmth, but clearly agreed with Sirius enough not to argue. 

“Mean.” You pouted; eyes still screwed shut in pain.

“I know, I’m the worst.” He whispered, casting a quick auguamenti and glacius on a rag and placing it on your head, earning him another protesting groan from you.

“Why’s her leg still bleeding?” Sirius asked, eyes still on your face as he used the cloth to wipe away the sweat from your features. He quickly prepared two more rags and placed them on the back of your neck and your chest. 

“I don’t know. I followed the instructions from our DADA textbook on werewolves – three tablespoons of powdered silver mixed with four tablespoons of dittany to create a paste. It did nothing but hurt her and aggravate me.” He admitted, sounding horribly dejected.

“Where’s the silver from?”

“Slughorn’s supply closet.”

Sirius groaned. “That’s why. The school buys the cheapest ingredients they can to keep costs low. That won’t be pure silver.”

“Well, where in the hells are we supposed to find pure silver then?” Barty groaned. 

Of all the times for Sirius to not be at Grimmauld Place anymore – that place was teeming with pure silver.

Pure...

Toujours pur. 

“Regulus.” Sirius whispered no louder than a breath. You didn’t seem to hear him, your lucid moment clearly over; but Barty did.

“I promised Y/N I wouldn’t tell Lupin or Regulus.” He explained plainly, causing Sirius to groan.

“Then what are we supposed to do?”

Barty turned his face to glare at Sirius. “I promised Y/N I wouldn’t tell Lupin or Regulus.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I heard you, Junior. So, what are we going to do then?”

Barty let out a long-suffering sigh. “I promised Y/N I wouldn’t tell Lupin or Regulus.”

Sirius’ brows furrowed and he cautiously lifted his hand to press the back of it to Barty’s head, checking for fever of his own. Barty aggressively swatted him away.

“Are you quite alright, Junior? Is this a stroke?”

“I need you to listen to me very carefully, Black. Okay? Are you listening to my words?”

Sirius nodded at him as Barty grabbed Sirius by the shoulders and stared imposingly into his eyes. “I – Bartemus Crouch Junior – promised that sweet, lovely Treasure you call Trouble over there, that I – Bartemus Crouch Junior – would not tell Remus Lupin or Regulus Black. I promised her.” 

Now, Sirius feels it’s important to note that it was currently maybe seven o’clock in the morning, and he’d only just stepped out of the shower after washing away a night of romping in the woods around Potter Manor with Moony as Padfoot last night to be told there was someone at the floo for him; in other words, he was fucking exhausted. And to add to that, he had one of his least favourite people tell him that one of the worst possible things happened to one of his favourite people. So, sue him for what he said next.

“I don’t understand.” 

“Fucking son of a mother fucking cunt, I swear to that fucking muggle-religion-wizard-guy-that-caused-the-whole-brew-ha-ha-in-that-big-ass-muggle-tome I will shave that fucking head of yours and wear your hair as a wig; I cannot tell Lupin and Regulus.” Barty spat, though somehow managed to keep his voice low enough to not gain your attention.

“Yes, yes, yes. You promised her.” Sirius lamented. “You p- wait... you promised her. You promised her.”

“Thank Merlin and Morgana.” Barty groaned as fell to his knees in exhaustion, clearly more than thankful that Sirius had finally gotten it. 

“I’ll be back.” Sirius announced and started towards the fireplace in the Slytherin common room in order to retrieve his brother. 

Regulus looked up from the pages of his novel to survey Remus’ form again. His boyfriend laid on his back with his head propped up on two pillows and his eyes closed as the soft morning light filtered its way through the sheer curtains and painted his features in its warm glow.

Regulus knew Remus was likely exhausted and sore and perhaps feeling awfully sorry for himself right now, but Regulus wasn’t sure he ever looked more beautiful. 

“You should take a picture; it’ll last longer.” Remus commented dryly, never bothering to open his eyes as a smile danced on his lips.

“Ha ha.” Regulus deadpanned, returning his gaze to his book with a blush taking over his face.

“You worry too much, love. I’m okay.” 

“I know you’re okay.” Regulus argued.

“Yet you still worry?”

“Yet I still worry.” 

Regulus heard Remus’ head turn against his pillow, and he looked back up to see Remus regarding him.

“Have you heard from her by chance?” Remus whispered as if fearing the answer he knew was coming.

Regulus knew it was you who Remus referred to; they’d been waiting quite impatiently for your owl for the past few days.

You had promised to write as often as you could - every day if possible – over the winter holidays. The last correspondence they had with you was four days ago as you told them of some family gathering at your home.

He hated to be the bearer of bad news, but he could tell he was caught at the disappointed sigh from Remus.

“No, mon loup. I’m sorry.” Regulus admitted.

Remus let out another sigh and leaned his head back down on the pillows, squishing his eyes shut as if the pain of not knowing how you were was more painful than the current aching in his bones.

“Hey, Reg?” Regulus heard his brother call from the door. 

“He’s awake.” Regulus called back simply.

“How’re you feeling, Moons?” Sirius asked, walking towards the end of the bed with his hands in his pocket.

“Been worse.” Remus answered.

“I...” Sirius started, cutting himself off with a sigh.

“Spit it out, Sirius. We’ve not got all day.” Regulus drawled and put his book down. He couldn’t stop his heart rate from picking up when he noticed Sirius’ discontent, however; sudden flashbacks of Sirius standing in Regulus’ doorway begging him to pack his things and leave with him bombarding his mind.

“What is it, Pads?” Remus asked, seeming to pick up on his friend’s anxiety as well.

“I need your help.” He admitted. “It’s...it’s Y/N.”

Remus sat up all too quickly and winced at the cracking of his back.

“What is it? Where is she? Is she okay?” He asked, trying to free himself from the bedding that Regulus had tucked him into hours earlier.

“No, well, yes...she-”

“Where is she?” Regulus whispered in horror.

“With Junior. At Hogwarts.”

Regulus relaxed slightly to at least know you were safe at Hogwarts and with Barty, though that raised more questions than answers for him.

“How do you know that?” Regulus asked, all the while Remus continued struggling to dress himself despite his various aches and pains. 

“Junior told me.” Sirius admitted, finally taking pity on his friend and helping him dress whilst his boyfriend sat their uselessly. 

“Why did he tell you? When did he tell you?”

“This morning!” Sirius barked, clearly growing agitated, “listen, I just-”

“What happened to her, Sirius?” Remus begged, finally taking a moment to catch his breath and stare at his friend imploringly. “What happened to her that Junior told you and not us?”

Sirius swallowed thickly before he answered.

“She was bitten, Rem.”

All colour drained from Remus’ face and Regulus sat stock still.

“Was it me?!” Remus asked through a choked sob. This seemed to snap Regulus out of his uselessness and he reached for Remus’ shoulder to squeeze it affectionately.

“No, no. Moony, no one was there last night. I swear it.”

“What...why do you need my help? What do you need?” Regulus asked quietly, standing to pull on his own jacket and retrieving his and Remus’ wands from the dresser. 

“We can’t get the wound to close, and she’s got a wicked fever that we can’t bring down. She’s barely lucid, she's lost an insane amount of blood, and the silver at the school didn’t work to close it and-”

“No, it wouldn’t.” Remus agreed breathlessly.

“Why not?”

“Too costly to give pure powdered silver to a bunch of students who make throw away potions – they only use what works in the brew but not in practice.” Remus explained, groaning as he stood and quickly transfigured his suitcase into a cane on account of his hip after the transformation. 

“So, you need pure silver? Like... the ring!” Regulus whispered, hastily ripping the Black Family signet ring from his thumb and passing it to Sirius.

“We need to go now. She can’t afford to lose any more blood, and it should have been closed immediately.” Remus pressed, making his way to the door albeit a little shakily. 

Regulus was sick with worry; for you, your life, your future, your family, for Remus and how upsetting this must be for him as well, but something still wasn’t making any sense.

“Why did Barty tell you?” Regulus asked as they stepped through the floo into the Slytherin common room, making a mental note to ensure that it was closed before the rest of the students returned from winter holidays.

Sirius grimaced slightly and turned to look at his friend who he was supporting as they followed Regulus to the dorm room.

“She...she made him promise not to tell you guys.” Sirius admitted.

Remus’ steps faltered and Regulus turned, ready to help Sirius in catching him, only to notice that he wasn’t falling but rather had stopped walking all together.

“Why wouldn’t she want us to know?” Remus asked mournfully.

“I never did hear why.” Sirius admitted, encouraging Regulus forward with a nod of his head.

The three of them entered the room to find Barty sitting on a low stool beside you with his pinky interlinked with yours. Your eyes were still shut tightly and your breathing was shallow, but Regulus could hear Barty talking lowly to you and your occasional responses. 

“I like that song about the fighter, the writer, and the ruler.” Barty murmured quietly to you.

Your brows twitched as you gritted out “it’s Soldier, Poet, King.”

“Ah, right you are, Treasure.” Barty responded, looking over his shoulder at the new additions to the room. “You always know everything.”

“How is she?” Sirius asked as he dropped the signet ring inside the mortar and pestle and traded seats with Barty who began to grind it into powder, and Regulus and Remus moved to stand near the end of the bed to take in your form.

“Hanging in there, Black.” Barty responded to Sirius, though he looked at Regulus as he said it.

Sirius must have noticed Regulus’ death glare being pointed at Barty and opted to intervene. 

“Hey, Trouble?” Sirius asked you gently, brushing some of your damp hair away from your forehead. You hummed in acknowledgement without opening your eyes.

“Why didn’t you want Remus and Regulus to know, sweets?”

You whimpered as your face morphed into agony, eyes finally opening to look at Sirius through fat tears.

“Remus will hate me.”

Remus actually whimpered at that, clearly itching to move towards you, but not wanting to interrupt you.

“Why would he hate you, sweets?”

“He hates werewolves.”

Remus’ head dropped in shame as Regulus rubbed soothing circle into his back. 

“But he loves you, Trouble.” Sirius pressed, watching Remus all the while.

“Not anymore.” You sighed in resignation, closing your eyes once more.

“Always, dove.” Remus insisted. You squeezed your eyes tightly as if you were trying to convince yourself that he wasn’t there. 

“Do you hear me? I will always love you. There is nothing that could ever happen that would make me hate you, okay?” He carried on, slowly making his way to the other side of the bed in order to curl up behind you and pull your back into his front. 

You whimpered, though Regulus was sure it was less from physical pain and more in distress.

“What about Reggie?” You cried as Sirius continued rubbing his thumb across your forehead. 

“It’s almost ready.” Barty interrupted as he began measuring out the silver and dittany. 

“Reggie thinks the world of you, dove.” Remus murmured into your hair, looking over at Regulus imploringly. 

“You’ve got a lot of people who care about you, Trouble.” Sirius added. “We’re not going to let you do this alone.”

“It’s done, Treasure. We’re gonna fix you up.” Barty said as he made his way over, keeping his eyes trained on Regulus. 

“Dovey, this is going to hurt an awful lot, okay? But you’re so brave, you’re so brave and then you’ll feel all better, okay?” Remus spoke into your hair, keeping you pressed tightly to his form as you began to struggle against his hold. 

“Regulus, you need to be brave for her.” Sirius ordered, looking as severe as Regulus ever remembers his older brother being. 

What could Regulus have ever done to make you think it was at all possible for him to feel anything but love for you?

How could Regulus ensure that you never thought such things again?

“I’m right here, amour. Okay? You’ve got four of us here who love you, we’re not going anywhere.” He pressed, moving to take over Sirius’ place on Barty’s short stool as Sirius positioned himself close to your feet.

“I don’t want to hurt.” You cried, breathing becoming slightly erratic as Remus added more pressure in keeping your arms pinned to your sides.

“I know, amour. It’ll be over soon, okay?” Regulus tried, brushing hair away and pressing his lips to your overly hot forehead.

“You’re so brave, Y/N. We’ve got you, okay? Such a brave girl, come on babylove, you’re okay.” Remus chanted, looking over at Sirius as he pinned your ankles to the bed and Barty transfigured a stirrer in an applicator.

“Please. I don’t want to.” You begged.

“You’re so brave.” Remus repeated, pressing his mouth to the top of your head as his own tears fell into your hair.

“Do it.” Regulus insisted, not wanting to prolong this anymore.

Regulus nearly dropped his wand in his haste to throw up a silencing charm around the dorm room as your screams bounced off the stone walls in time with Barty’s first swipe of the ointment. 

Regulus couldn’t hear the words spilling from Remus’ lips, but he knew that he was whispering sweet encouragements to you as he cried in sympathy. Sirius looked to be using all his strength to keep your legs pinned down as you struggled, and his eyebrows furrowed on your behalf as well.

“You’re okay, amour. You’re okay.” Regulus insisted for both of your benefits, watching as Barty applied the last of the paste to your leg.

“Now what!?” Barty shouted over your agonized cries.  

“Breathe dove, breathe. The pain will fade, just breathe.” Remus coached, rocking the both of you gently back and forth as you sobbed.

“You’ve done so well, amour, so well. Ma courageuse fille; you’re so brave.” Regulus praised, taking both of your hands into his and pulling them from Remus’ grasp to press kisses to your knuckles. “Tu as si bien fait, tu es la personne la plus forte que je connaisse.”

It took some time and many more encouragements before your sobs decreased into pitiful hiccups and whimpers as you looked towards Regulus. 

“You don’t hate me?” You asked pitifully.

Regulus used his thumb to wipe away the tears that were still falling as Remus caressed your arms.

“It never even crossed my mind, cheri. I could never; non.” Regulus insisted. 

“I’m so sorry, dove.” Remus whispered into your head. “I’m so sorry this has happened to you.”

“Remus.” Sirius warned. 

“Not because it makes her any less lovely, Sirius. But because she doesn’t deserve it.” Remus explained. 

“I’m scared.” You admitted timidly.

“I know, dove.”

“Lucky for you, Trouble, you’ve got some seasoned professionals here.” Sirius added, nudging Remus’ foot. 

“Can I start the animagus process now, Rem?” Regulus groaned, looking at Remus pointedly. 

“I guess it wouldn’t be fair to make you sit out on full moons now.” Remus relented – he’d always hated the idea of putting the two of you in any undue danger, but he couldn’t deny Regulus of the two of you, nor you of Regulus; not when you would need him most.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Barty interrupted, moving his skeptical glance between the four of you. “You’re telling me that animagi can romp around with the likes of werewolves?”

Remus nuzzled his face impossibly further into your head as Sirius chuckled. 

“Werewolves don’t care about animals. In fact, it makes them quite happy to have a ‘pack’.” Sirius explained.

Barty laughed conspiratorially. “Well, sign me the fuck up. Regulus, I’ll buy the first mandrake leaf; my treat!” He called as he grabbed his jacket and wand and headed for the door, likely heading to Hogsmeade for supplies in his excitement. 

“Moony is not going to like him.” Sirius proclaimed flippantly, finally falling into a chair in exhaustion after Barty was gone.

“It’s not just about him, anymore.” Remus responded, pressing a kiss to your head. Regulus could tell your fever was reducing, though your cheeks were still flushed.

You had a lot to discuss; what happened, why it happened, and where to go from here. But for now, Regulus was just happy you were alive, currently safe, surrounded by people who loved you, and agreeable to him running you a bath. 

#ask elle #marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #moonwater #moonseeker #poly!moonwater #poly!moonwater x reader #poly!moonwater x you #poly!moonseeker #poly!moonseeker x reader #poly!moonseeker x you #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black x you #regulus deserved better #remus lupin x regulus black #werewolf #werewolf!reader #hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending #barty crouch jr #sirius black #ellecdc fics

[coolestzed]

Alright, I’ve been holding this inside for years but I’m finally gonna say it.

Misako haters are actually fucking annoying at this point.

They always were to me, but now, they’re just OBJECTIVELY an annoyance. And they need to STOP.

They take literally ANY chance to slander her, even when it’s completely unwarranted. Like, I’d just look at a picture of her on Pinterest, and there’d be multiple comments going "the world’s worst mother". Or I’d see content about Koko and there’d always be comments comparing her and Misako and going like "Koko way better fuck Misako".

I’d even see a fucking meme and people would slander Misako. Like they couldn’t resist.

And that’s not even mentioning his people constantly make her seem way worse than she actually is. Im not gonna quote everything, but basically they act like she never does good things for Lloyd. That she doesn’t care about him at all! And it’s just- so WILDY out of character!! And it’s the same vice versa! I saw a funny Ninjago video the other day with a "your mom" joke and someone in the comments was like "jokes on you, Lloyd would never call Misako mom". I’m just?????? Yes he DOES????? ALL THE TIME???

People just act like their relationship is nonexistent! Like they don’t care about each other, or that Misako doesn’t care about Lloyd! Which is OBVIOUSLY not true!

People claim that she disappears every other season but the only seasons she was absent in are 12 and 13. Also, she has a job. She goes on expeditions. Obviously she’s not there 100% of the time. And she and Lloyd clearly spend time together off screen.

People don’t even acknowledge the reason why she left in the first place. They act like she dropped him off at a boarding school and dipped to take a vaycay. She was literally trying to stop her husband and son from having to fight to the death. You ever think about that? You ever think about how SHE felt in the situation? With her husband being consumed by evil and later being banished, and learning that he and their son would have to fight each other? She was HORRIFIED and GRIEVING! Ultimately she did it to save her family. It doesn’t make leaving Lloyd right but it’s understandable.

But apparently not to almost all of the fandom.

Most of y’all, completely ignore that, and everything else that came after season 2.

Misako constantly being worried about Lloyd in Tournament of Elements and Possession.

Both of them spending Day of the Departed together.

Her getting/building the Destiny’s Shadow as a birthday gift for Lloyd.

How she supported, fought beside, and risked her life for Lloyd in Hunted.

How she wanted to stay and fight with him during MoTO but only went inside because Lloyd urged her to protect the civilians.

Not to mention just their general interactions. THEY’RE ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE EACH OTHER!!! Do you know how many times they hug?!

And this dialogue here:

"Aren’t you going to kiss your mother goodbye?"

"Mooom, we've-we've talked about this-"

WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED?!

Lloyd and Misako have a good, healthy and loving relationship. Misako has long since made up for her mistake and they’ve moved on.

Yet THE FANDOM REFUSES TO!!!

EVERYONE, TO THIS DAY, STILL TREATS HER LIKE THE FUCKING DEVIL!!!

I CAN’T EVEN COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES PEOPLE HAVE HAD OVERDRAMATIC TANTRUMS FROM HER JUST EXISTING.

IT MAKES ME SO UNREASONABLY ANGRY.

AND THE FACT THAT I’VE SOMEHOW BEEN SEEING EVEN MORE MISAKO HATE DURING AND AFTER MOTHERS DAY IS ACTUALLY APPALLING.

NOT EVEN FUCKING ENDEAVOR FROM MHA GETS THIS MUCH HATE AND HE’S DONE MUCH WORSE TO HIS FAMILY.

IT. HAS. BEEN. OVER. 16. SEASONS. AND. A. MOVIE.

GET. OVER. IT.

*deep breath*

Look, she’s not perfect. Obviously. She fucked up. But who in this series hasn’t? She came back, and she’s made sure to be a better mother to Lloyd. He forgave her, and they have a good relationship now. They’re close.

She wouldn’t be as hated if the writers didn’t do her dirty. Her introduction wasn’t handled the best, and having her and Lloyd have a more in depth discussion would’ve made the reunion and forgiveness feel less rushed and forced. That love triangle with Wu and Garmadon certainly didn’t do her any favors either. 😑

Regardless, her character’s gotten better over the seasons. Again, she and Lloyd and close and have a good relationship.

But hardly anyone acknowledges that, almost everyone in the fandom hyper fixates on that one mistake from years ago. They don’t pay attention to anything else. Like how she’s a better mother, or how she’s just a generally good person.

You aren’t supposed to judge characters or irl people solely on their past mistakes. Especially when they’ve already made up for them. Thats why the "Misako’s a horrible mother" statement is always bullshit to me.

Seriously, Misako’s been a part of Lloyd’s life longer than she’s been absent from it at this point.

The amount of passionate, unforgiving hate she gets is so undeserved and over the top. Too many people are projecting their own issues onto her. Or just being plain hateful. It’s not fair to define her entire character on a single mistake that she’s long made up for.

And it’s definitely not fair to people that actually like Misako. Often times on the few positive posts about her, there’d be Misako haters in the notes or reblogs complaining about her or insulting her, or just stating they hate her but love the content. And that is completely uncool and rude. It’s so unnecessary. You don’t do that, that’s so shitty. The again Misako haters have a habit of spouting unnecessary hate. Like it’s a terminal condition they have.

So, please, for the love of god, COOL IT. Stop and think, try to ACTUALLY look at her character without the veil of blind hatred.

If you still dislike or hate her, fine! But if you’re gonna detest her, at least hate her as she is and don’t make her worse than she actually is to justify hating her more.

And PLEASE stop bashing her at every turn, it’s annoying, upsetting, unwarranted, unnecessary, and just not good.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#ninjago #ninjago misako #misako garmadon #rant post #I may revive backlash for this #I don’t care #I’m so fucking done with this fandom #the hate is actually so ridiculous #y’all can live without constantly putting down a misunderstood character #Misako Defender For Life

[starlightingsss]

right where you left me

a laxus x reader drabble ig?? js me yapping 😞

HES SAUR FINE THOOUUUUUU

as they - she, kagura, milliana, risley and arana - exited the endless corridors of the labyrinth that was the preliminary for the grand magic games, they were met with a roaring audience. they finished sixth, out of 8, which wasn't too bad considering their competition.

the other 2 guilds already announced were fairy tail and quatro ceberus.

fairy tail hadn't participated in these games in a while, after their humiliating defeats. but this year - they might actually have a chance at victory. she knew too much about the guild, especially with her history, and she knew the tenrou team had returned and would be participating in the games. she didn't know many of the people on the team closely, but she heard of their names and saw some pictures from him.

he disappeared with the rest of them 7 years ago. not a word, and not a trace. she still remembered the day of his departure, how he took off from the tent and how she chased him in his lightning form, how she couldn't get there in time to help them fight but still watched as acnologia blew them to shreds. what she thought was the last seconds of his life.

but there they were, the friends he told her about, competing in a fight to be the best guild. she knew she should've been happy when she first saw their guild making a comeback, but she couldn't help the feeling of fear that swept across her heart. his friends were there, but where was he?

its been 3 months since their return, and she hasn't heard a word from him. she saw the members of his team cheering in the crowd with the rest of their guild, but the man she loved was nowhere to be found.

"what's on your mind?" kagura said, leaning over to the woman. they weren't close but kagura had seemed to take some kind of interest to her, occasionally checking up on her, asking her questions about her past.

"it's.. nothing." i replied, short vague responses was usually all kagura got out of me. but, if im being honest, what else could i give? i shouldn't be in these games right now, i'm in no condition to fight. maybe a few years ago, when i was strong, but now? my body is brittle and malnourished, my eyes are dead and i haven't smiled in years. my alcoholism has aged me an unreasonable amount, and i am just a shell of my former self. my magic power has depleted beyond what seems fixable, and i feel like im slipping away faster as each agonizing day passes. hauntingly beautiful, a ghost even.

it seems i have zoned out through three of the introductions as they are now announcing the second place.

as the crowd roared in excitement, the second place team came out - fairy tail team b. it felt as if the whole world was spinning, as if nothing existed in that moment except for me - and him.

he stood there, next to the pretty white haired girl - mirajane - unscathed and just how he looked 7 years ago. perfect. i felt as a smile bloomed onto my face, tears prickling my eyes. i couldn't hear the deafening roars of the crowd as sabertooth was announced, as my heartbeat seemed to drown them all out. i wanted to run, to run across the stadium into his arms, i wanted to cry about how i missed him, ask where he'd been, i wanted to throw myself into his arms and never leave. but i couldn't, i seemed glued to the spot i was standing, with my eyes glued to him, maybe he didn't recognize me. maybe he chose not to look, but still, he was alive.

a spark seemed to have been relit in me, that fiery spirit and my will to live. my gaze never seemed to leave him, as his eyes finally met mine. i saw how they widened a little in shock as he realized it was me, how his lips curled into a rare smile - not a smirk, but a smile. a geniune smile.

how it ended as quickly as it started, as the teams were dismissed and let to leave, how his guild pulled him away as i couldn't help but smile like a lovestruck fool.

and thats exactly what i was. lovestruck. i loved him and i would forever, the anguish and worry from the past 7 years seeming to lift off my heart. my beloved would be mine again soon, my perfect.

that night, i drank. shamelessly and without a fear, i hadn't touched a drop of alcohol for months, because what if i lost myself to it again? what if i started and couldn't stop? but it was different this time. i drank, not to forget but to celebrate, i drank because i loved him and i refuse to love in fear. i drank because i had a reason to live again, and i drank in celebration, instead of out of habit or to avoid my pain. i was an alcoholic but in those moment, i wasn't. in those moments, i was a 19 year old girl again. a 19 year old girl traveling fiore with the man of my dreams, a girl without a reason to cry. someone so endlessly happy and content.

a euphoric smile lit my features as i stumbled out of our bar, determined to find the one fairy tail was occupying - and after a few block, i settled at the rowdiest bar amongst the 20 i had seen, one with men flying around in barrels.

i entered the building, unnoticed, as i scanned the group for his face.

and there he was, in all his glory - sitting at a table surrounded by his friends.

i stumbled over, tripping over my feet a little, before finally getting to him, slumping myself over him, and wrapping my arm around his neck.

he was clearly less drunk than i was, as he tugged me into his lap, before wrapping me in a tight embrace.

"almost thought you were mad at me for a sec.." he whispered into her ear, as tears filled her eyes. she missed him so so much.

"could never be mad at you.." she replied, as her tears fell and her smile grew.

she heard him murmur an "i'm sorry" as his team seemed to stare in shock a little, his grip on her didnt loosen as he held her to his torso, maybe pulling her away a few times to look at her face and plant a kiss on her cheek.

#laxus dreyar #ft laxus #laxus x reader #fairy tail laxus #fairy tail #laxus dreyar x reader #drabble #oneshot

[respectthepetty]

hi!! i can’t stop thinking about your wild-ass theory about saifah and how it feels like you’ve predicted the whole dang plot!

im thinking next episode is gonna be mostly happy and fluffy with a bit of angst about kang and his dad (otherwise you’d think they would’ve had the saifah getting arrested clip in the trailer for the episode). but then I reckon episode 9 is where shit’s gonna go DOWN (although it might also be episode 10, but it feels like there’s several subplots that’re gonna happen and they’re gonna need as many episodes as possible to unpack them while still having a satisfying ending)

anyway this isn’t really saying anything, I just wanted to tell you how much I LOVE your theories and reading your posts, and I also love dangerous romance this series is so good, it very very quickly became my entire personality and I can’t stop rewatching it hehe

BUT YEAH, I LOVE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY YOURE AWESOME FJEKEIFJEJEJFIEJE

Wild Ass Theory Update

@quodekash, because this is you giving me a compliment and me blushing from it, I'm giving you everything that has been stuck in my head over the past couple of weeks.

TLWR: Episode 8/9 - Kanghan is going to throw a tantrum about his dad paying for him to get on the team, spend all his dad's money on Sailom on a trip, and sleep with him, only to return home and see that his dad has been shot and Saifah had something to do with it causing him to question everything about Sailom.

Thank you very much for saying that you love my theories, and that I'm awesome, but I appreciate even more that you LOVE Dangerous Romance.

Because I, too, love it. An unreasonable amount, in fact. It makes me so happy even though I know some pain is headed our way.

And much like you, I think that pain is coming in episode 9. Now that Saifah is in Kang's house, we might see some warning signs in episode 8 in the shape of this beautiful giant red flag.

I feel more than confident that Papang is capable of stealing, but I don't think he has it in him to rob an employer's home or shoot someone, which is also a part of my theory (let the dad get shot, please!), so Name has to be involved!

But that's partly why I love this show. It has done a good job giving us crumbs along the way about what is to come, which is why I don't feel like it's a wild ass theory because I think Saifah does feel some type of way about Name enough to help him with a dumb plan.

Because even Kang's dad paying for Kang to get on the soccer team was implanted into the story well.

Since we knew from the first episode that he regularly donates money to the school for students, so it wouldn't seem out of the norm for some of that money to benefit his child as well.

Even Pimfah's crush on Sailom seemed written in stone to me from the first episode when the dog discussion came up since she stood firmly on the "show the dog love" side then continued to show Sailom love while Kang is in the "punish the dog" boat.

So, once again, I think the show has done a great job telling us Saifah is going to be involved in robbing that house, even if it's as simple as letting the actual robbers in. But robbing the house doesn't seem enough to split the couple up, which is why I think someone has to get shot.

DON'T LET IT BE THE GRANDMA! It must be the dad.

The grandma has to be the one to convince Kang to trust himself and his love for Sailom, so he can believe Sailom had nothing to do with this plot, and that Saifah didn't intend for anyone to get hurt.

The dad has to be shot because there is still tension between him and Kanghan, AND wouldn't it be interesting if the robbery (and shooting) were less about "eat the rich" and more of the political backstabbing variation?

So with all that being written, I think the robbery will happen either at the end of episode eight or the beginning of episode nine IF Kanghan finds out early in the episode that his dad paid for him to get on the team since Pimfah is going to drop this line in eight.

Would really suck for Kanghan to be focused and on the right path only for his last parent to get shot, and him be lost all over again, no? Would be awful for Kang to find out his dad paid his way onto the team, be pissed off about it, throw a tantrum, and use up all his money on a trip with Sailom where he tells him how much he loves him . . .

Spend the night with Sailom (possibly their first time together) telling him how much he appreciates Sailom for believing in him like the best version of a BL honeymoon

Only to return home and see his dad has been shot and think Sailom had something to do with it since Saifah is being arrested.

Kanghan will push Sailom away from guilt of being upset at his father who is now in the hospital and confusion of his feelings for Sailom, which means Sailom is going to have to start escorting again to make ends meet because Name is NOT in jail and still in charge of debts (10?)

Then Kanghan is going to assault Sailom. (10?)

The grandma is gonna be like "IDIOT!" and Kanghan is going to rescue Sailom (11?)

And Sailom is going to cry about having no one left, and Kanghan is going to be like "you still have me" (11?)

And then we get episode 12 where the real baddies go to jail.

*curtain closes*

The crumbs have been laid, and I'm following them all the way to grandma's house. Name x Saifah, don't just be my ghost ship.

Be the ship to cause some shit!

#dangerous romance #wild theory time #sailom x kanghan #we gotta have a honeymoon first #then the pain #it's coming #name x saifah

[reallyromealone]

Hi hello Rome! How are you?

Can I ask for Bonten dads with this "perfect" son, son is like a straight A, Gifted and Talented kid, with good personality. But son just feels like shit most of the time and beats himself up over any mistake.

One day son has a rough day and someone in Bonten starts giving him shit for just wanting to have a break, and son has a breakdown and Bonten dads comfort him.

I just need some father comfort. Thanks bro.

Of course dude I got you

Being the son of the most influential men in japan wasn't easy by any means due to their careers but (name) could deal with that...the real pressure came from his peers.

Everyone had expectations from him, he was the only child of Bonten so they had assumptions of him and he often had to prove himself every time to be perfect which lead to a complex with perfection.

Because of this he forced himself to be perfect at everything no matter what.

His grades? Perfect

His extra curricular activities? Perfect

He missed a word that was mispelt in his essay in English, the red circle from the teachers pen circling it and two points taken off, lowering his grade slightly and fucking up his grade point average even just slightly.

Instead of a perfect grade point average be was now at 98%.

This was just the tip of the iceberg.

Throughout the day, tiny things built up.

The reed on his sax broke and he didn't have a spare left.

A classmate spilt a drink over him by accident.

He forgot an assignment at home.

Basically everything was going wrong and he couldn't take it anymore.

When he came home Mochi made a comment about forgetting to make his bed and (name) just lost it, a heartbreaking sob escaping his throat as he felt himself breakdown and his dad's immediately began panicking as (name) pulled at his hair and crouched down.

"Shit kid, why are ya crying?! It's not a big deal bud" Takeomi said to the teenager as they began checking him over and soothing him.

It took an hour to calm (name) down before he eventually told them what was going on "I'm sorry.. I-ill do better..."

"Oh (name) we don't give a shit about that, we just want our kid to be alright"

And at that (name) cried again, sinking into kakuchos arms as the men looked amongst themselves "I'm just so tired..."

"You don't have school tomorrow right?" Ran asked his son who nodded "then let's go do something fun, you don't gotta think at all we will plan it"

"Aren't you guys busy?"

"Never busy for you brat"

"Ok..."

They ended up taking him to a Bonten owned junk yard, safety goggles and baseball bats "alright, tell us what is bothering you then hit the car as if it were the thing annoying you" Koko said, them all in casual clothing as (name) nodded "I'm really annoyed that... I got a bad grade" and then smashed the cars rear view mirror as his dad's cheered him on "come on you got more in ya!" Sanzu egged on and (name) nodded "I'm really annoyed that my peers demand more from me and have unreasonable expectations" and smashed the drivers window.

"I HATE THAT I FEEL LIKE IM DROWNING IN SCHOOL WORK AND I CANT HAVE A MOMENT TO BREATHE WITHOUT SOME GOD FORSAKEN CLASSMATE DEMANDING MY ATTENTION" and began wailing on the car as his dad's cheered him on "this is fun! I'm gonna smash more shit!"

They ended up smashing stuff all morning, leaving to go get a nice lunch and the Bonten dad's watched their son relax a bit more and actually smile.

They realized they hadn't seen him look so happy in a minute, hearts squeezing at the realization and made a new rule.

Once a week they went out and did stuff as a family, unwind.

It wasn't much but it would at least make (name) feel better as Ran would be teaching his son proper self care that night.

#tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #bonten x reader

[age-of-moonknight]

Helloo

If im not bothering you too much, may I ask what you know about the cia?

I know it may not be a question related to moon knight, or maybe it could be, but im kinda interested to know the basics at least and you seem to know a lot about it

Btw, i absolutely adore your blog

Hello!!! :D I'm so glad that you enjoy this blog and thanks for stopping by! Although, well,,,,hm,,,maybe it's just my rabid paranoia sinking its claws even deeper into me, but this is one of the more interesting asks I've gotten for this blog, that's for sure. 😅 For perhaps some context, I think anon might be referencing this post I made, gosh, close to two years ago now, where I got....maybe a little too excited talking about the history of the CIA and what Marc's time with The Company could mean for his character hahaha Accordingly, a full rundown on the agency's history, not to mention its many, many facets, is probably a bit outside the purview of this blog, but this is then a good time to state that if anyone ever wants to talk about anything and everything besides Moon Knight, my dms are always open and I'm happy to chat! However,,,I also have an affliction where I am an incorrigible pedant who jumps at the chance to write essays on things that interest me (and intelligence interests me very, very much, unfortunately). As such, while all my instincts are telling me this is absolutely glowing bait on a hook, if anyone wants to read a rambling wall of text about that agency Marc spent some time with, that will be waiting for you under the cut. Again, disclaimer, I'm just some person on the internet and thus can't really be considered a credible source on much of anything (except maybe how many times Moon Knight has teamed up with the Punisher hahaha). All the following info could easily be gathered from OSINT sources (and we're talking, like, Wikipedia, although this gave me the chance to pull out one of my favorite textbooks, Intelligence: From Secrets to Policy by Mark Lowenthal (vol. 7). If you're the textbook reading-type and interested in the topic, I'd suggest giving it a shot, particularly chapters 2 and 3 for the CIA and the U.S.' broader intelligence community). I tried to keep this incredibly surface level, as these are all topics that you could write monographs on, so if you want more sources/context, just hit me up! This also got,,,,unreasonably long (I didn't even know tumblr HAD a point where it would stop autosaving, but apparently trying to list all of the CIA's crimes against humanity will get you there), so I ended up having to split this across multiple posts.

Conception I discussed it in my previous post, but I'll give a brief rundown on how the Central Intelligence Agency came to be. So, the United States had intelligence organs pre-World War II, but they would typically only be spun up for however long a conflict lasted and then all of their assets would be reintegrated back into the military, da? But then with the end of WWII ushering in the atomic age and nuclear deterrence pushing out conventional conflict in favor of an espionage-fueled Cold War, the U.S. government deemed it prudent to have a permanent intelligence gathering service. There was just one hiccup, the question of what to do with the U.S.' WWII-era intelligence service, the Office of Strategic Services (OSS). Under the leadership of the very descriptively nicknamed Brigadier/Major General William "Wild Bill" Donovan, OSS officers had been running around conducting sabotage and espionage operations throughout Europe and Asia, doing wild things like working with an underground intelligence network of European Catholic priests and coordinating with the 20 July plot/Operation Valkyrie assassination attempt on Hitler. They were the very definition of irregular, British officials accused them of "playing cowboys," and the U.S.' massive post-war military organization was loathe to have to find some way to force OSS officers into the military's necessary uniformity, so in 1947, after a couple years of bureaucratic shuffling, the OSS apparatus got pasted onto this new intelligence agency that was so far,,,rather bookish and the CIA as we know it was born. This divide, between the incredibly Ivy League analysts and the more martial remnants of the OSS that got folded in was a contributor to the two major branches of the CIA (and their infamous intra-agency rivalry), so this perhaps a good segue into the CIA's different internal departments, its "directorates."

There are the two ogs, the Directorate of Operations and the Directorate of Analysis, and then the newer Directorates of Digital Innovation, Support, plus Science & Technology. (Note: this is as the agency stands now; there have been some fluctuations in structure and naming conventions over the years).

The Directorate of Operations (DO) needs little introduction, as it's the legacy of the OSS and what most people think of when they hear the word "espionage," the kind of work one individual once described to me as "fast cars, nice suits, and unlimited spending" (hope he's still out there and doing well). They're your politically deniable boots on the ground collecting HUMINT (human intelligence such as handling contacts and the like) and executing covert actions. It contains the ultimate sharp point of the spear, the Special Activity Center (SAC) with its Political Action Group (PAG), which spreads black propaganda, influences elections, and conducts other psychological operations, and the Covert Action Group (CAG), which draws operators from the military's special forces programs to form their own direct action, counter-intel/counter-terror, unconventional warfare, paramilitary group (they have a very diverse set of martial skills). Naturally, most recipients of the U.S. intelligence community's highest honors, the Intelligence Star and Distinguished Intelligence Cross are from the SAC. Most of the stars on the CIA HQ's Wall of Honor, which memorializes officers who died in service of the CIA, represent SAC officers too, however.

The Directorate of Analysis (DA), in contrast, doesn't get enough love, despite making up nearly half of the CIA for decades. Whereas the DO mainly collects the intelligence through various means, the DA has the people who take the raw intel and try to turn it into something digestible for policy makers (whether that means just translating the intel into basic English or proposing whole, wide-sweeping policy strategies has varied across the agency's history depending on its professionalism and the degree of government oversight at the time). They get so overshadowed despite being a key part of the intelligence cycle, it's almost not funny hahaha (I kid you not, the official CIA website not only has a "kids" section with an online coloring book that depicts the various directorates as heroes, but it even went so far as to depict the DO with a rather dashing hat and cape,,,,while they gave the representation of the DA glasses and a briefcase, I weep hahaha). However, if you've ever heard a stereotype of the CIA actually being made up of a bunch of incredibly Ivy League, smart but cliquey, uncomfortably cold (both in manner and strategy) eggheads, that would be because of the DA. That's a very disparaging stereotype,,,,but it got its start from somewhere. It's still the CIA after all, and there have been times in the institution's history where the only thing to distract the DA from its intra-agency pissing contest with the more domineering DO was to shield the CIA from any sort of external government or other agency encroachment on the CIA's "purview."

Probably the next most established division would be the Directorate of Science & Technology (DST). Whereas the DO is predominantly HUMINT and the DA works closest with policy makers, the DST is the one expanding the CIA's technological capacity to deal with CBRN threats (chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear), and collect SIGINT (signals intelligence over radio waves and the like), IMINT (image intelligence as from satellites), and GEOINT (geological intelligence monitoring seismographs to, for example, detect if a nation is doing underground nuclear tests). Intel collection is only as good as the tools used and naturally intelligence agencies all around the world are constantly trying to leapfrog each other in capabilities, circumvention, and denial (preventing adversarial interest's collection efforts, that is).

Similarly, the most recent division is the Directorate of Digital Innovation (DDI), which is similar to the DST, but the DDI is focused almost entirely on cyberwarfare/espionage. They also seem to be doing a lot with OSINT ("open-source" intelligence, AKA any information you can access without a security clearance). OSINT used to be a bit of a joke in the intelligence community ("so, it's just what you read in the paper this morning??? That puts it one step above LAVINT: intelligence collected by overhearing conversations in the lavatory"), but with the explosion of information made available by the modern internet landscape and social media, you can go far with OSINT. (If you too salivate over the potential OSINT, maybe checkout Bellingcat if you haven't already)

Lastly but not least, there's the Directorate of Support, who are all the people who keep The Company running smoothly, managing logistics, comms, security at CIA sites, and overseeing officer training.

So yeah, I've alluded to the DA's and DO's rivalry, so maybe I should talk about inter- and intra-agency competition and the hot water those things have got the CIA in over the years. Maintaining an effective intelligence community is a tricky thing, particularly in a nation trying its best to be democratic and at least nominally respect human rights. You want officers to be able to collect intelligence, but you can't let them have so much free rein they rough up the nation's own citizens with impunity (as that's a bad look and can lead to civilian push back that could not only hurt the regime but handicap intelligence gathering in the future) and you definitely don't want an intelligence agency getting so much power it feels like it can start dictating a nation's policy instead of just advising on it. (Plus, the absolute nightmare scenario of an agency that's gone completely off the rails and no longer bothers much with consulting on politics at all, but just operates completely independently). Thus, to prevent the intelligence community from getting too big for its own good, a little competition, a little checks-and-balances from within the intelligence community can be beneficial. The drive by one intel group to outperform another (and consequently get more recognition/funding/etc.) can lead to a mutual improvement of the products that end up on a policy maker's desk. Having said that, I hope I explained it in such a way where you might see the issue with the CIA being the U.S.' singular, domineering force in the federal intelligence community for decades. The DA and DO had their marked cultural divide, but the CIA had very little competition from other agencies and, for example, had their ultimate weapon: the President's Daily (intel) Brief. The CIA, due to its vast capabilities, for years had the privilege of providing the president with (what the CIA deemed to be) the most important intel topics of the day. Accordingly, particularly during the Cold War before government oversight of the CIA really kicked up, this allowed the CIA to sway the government towards some at best politically questionable and more critically ethically deplorable policy choices.

Yeah, having gotten this far, I don't think I've made it clear that, for as much as I am fascinated by and spent,,,,a lot of resources studying subjects such as intelligence and terrorism, I am fully cognizant and never quite cease to be outraged by the injustice that permeates those fields. The CIA for sure, with its vast resources and the outsized role the United States played in meddling in international affairs during the Cold War and on, is a chief and, now, well-documented offender. I'm sure CIA intelligence collection and guidance has prevented many attacks we'll never know about, but you can't talk about the CIA without discussing the actions that directly resulted in thousands dead. Let's go over some of their greatest hits, shall we? (And that takes me so long I have to put it in a whole other post).

#Knight Mail #Not Moony #My GOODNESS is this not moony #yeah sorry this took so long anon and for how long it is as you can tell...I got excited #sorry everyone for straying from this blog's intention which really is just to post comic panels but when I have info I love sharing it #and this is unfortunately something I have a lot of info on #this is like barely half of what I've written too so I've got to figure out how to tack on the rest as the tumblr draft function #continues to fail me

[dontfindmerain]

um-

What about-

What about some angst? Like- anything you wants, just angst

ohohoho

you have no idea what you've done >:)

"Hey, it's Wil, can't answer the phone right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can. BEEP." You hang up the phone without bothering to leave a message.

He’s been on tour with his band for weeks now and hasn’t messaged you or called you once, which was extremely worrying after you had met at the local coffee shop at least once every week for the past year. Maybe you were just being unreasonably worried, but you shot him a text anyway.

‘hey im sorry ive been calling u so much

just worried cus we havent talked since u left

hope u r doing ok :)’

He opened it. He opened it. Your heart beat quickly when the typing bubble popped up, grateful that he was finally responding.

And it sunk to your stomach immediately when his response glared back at you from your screen.

‘ok’

What? That’s it? After all that concern, all the pacing, all the tears, that was what he had to say? ‘Ok’?

What the fuck?

You were furious, and saddened but that didn't matter. How could he ignore you for so long and then respond like that? You had been considering surprising him by flying out to see the last leg of the tour tomorrow, but now…

No. You would still go, maybe he was just busy and exhausted from the constant moving around.

When you get to the barricade, waiting for Lovejoy to come on stage, your heart is racing. And when Wilbur walks out? You swear to gods there is no one else in the world.

He is incredibly happy, glowing in the wave of cheers radiating from the crowd. The only thing you can do is stare in awe the entire concert. You can barely hear the music, only a faint buzz as your mind is filled with him.

When it’s over and Mark leads you backstage to visit Wil, you run up to him, spilling out congratulations and praise for how great he is at this. Sorries falling from your lips for not going to every show. You stop when he gently grabs your wrist and takes you to a private room.

“What are you doing here?” he mutters, his face a mixture of confusion and… annoyance? What?

“I came to support you, Wilbur! And I’m so glad I did because you guys were fant-”

“Okay, okay, stop.” His tone was too firm. Too angry.

Silence washed over you and mingled with fear. Did you really upset him?

“I get that you want to support me and that we’re friends and all but did you have to come here? Especially backstage? I mean, for gods’ sake, you couldn’t have waited until I got back to england?”

You didn’t know what to say, you wanted to see him, to tell him…

“I came here because…

because I love you, Wilbur.”

He just looked at you for a moment, and then sighed. “Goddammit, darli- Y/n. I should've known,” he brought his hands up to his face and dragged them down in exasperation, “Y/n, I don’t… you’re like a sister to me, yeah? I don’t know where this,” he gestured wildly at you, “infatuation came from, but it needs to stop. You’re a great friend really, but I don’t feel that way about you.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach, the evidence of your hurt painted across your face and his annoyance resting on his.

“I… I think I’ll go now,” you whisper quietly, needing to leave before the tears began.

“No- come on now, darling- Don’t go, lets talk about this-” but you were already walking, no, running away from him. You ran out into the dark night, the streets were busy and you didn’t know where you were, you just kept running and running and running-

And you didn’t see that car. It didn’t see you either.

#mosslovestherain #moss writes #moss answers <3 #lillyyyyyyy my love #wilbur soot #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot angst #wilbur x reader #wilbur x you #angst no comfort #unhappy ending #well its not rlly much of an ending #but itll hurt nonetheless

[starry-nights12]

happy birthday!! idk how to start this exactly but here goes lmao 💀 your writing is amazing and I love it sm and I was looking back over your posts and you mentioned gift fabrics and I was like omg I wanna do that but I had like. nothing planned ahshdhjdjdh lmfao 😭💀 BUT who cares im gonna come up with smthn anyways and you cant stop me. bc your writing is great and I get so excited every time you post something and so yeah. im doing a thing RN and uh. you cant stop me. take that. 👍💪

anyways lmao this is kinda inspired by that one fic of yours where will has a nightmare bc I think its such a good opportunity for a hurt\comfort fic :P hope you had a great birthday btw ! lights camera action or something idk 💀 oh yeah also this is in the jinx firelight au (that's a pretty vital piece of information that fun fact I didn't think to disclose until after i started writing :D 💀😭)

The cool night breeze danced across Ekko's face as he gripped the railing of the banister, trying in vain to calm his strained, shaky breathing. He had woken up in a cold sweat, sitting bolt upright in his bed, limbs thrashing about as he gasped and tried to suppress a scream. He had stayed sitting there in the darkness, his whole body shaking, as he tried to no avail to regain his composure. It wasn't until a minute or so later that he noticed the hot tears rolling down his face. At that point he realized sitting there and waiting for the pit in his stomach and the ache in his heart to go away wouldn't help anything, so he (by some miracle) had managed to stumble out of his room and out into the night air, shaking. He had been trying hard not to think about his nightmare, but he couldn't quite seem to get his mind under control. He couldn't stop thinking, couldn't stop shaking. It was as if his whole body had turned against him.

The dream had been about her. The parts he could remember, anyways. Because of course they were. Because of course he couldn't just be happy with her, right? Because he always had to wonder, "What if, what if, what if..." didn't he? First it was "What if I had just gone with them?" or "What if I had tried harder?" or "What if I didn't do enough? What if I could have saved her?" Now that she was here, she was safe, she was his friend again, he thought it would've gotten better. But it hadn't. "What if she hates me? What if things will turn out the same? What if she gets hurt? What if I lose her again?" He supposed he was probably being unreasonable by thinking he would be automatically fine again (or he would have, if he had been thinking clearly). She hadn't been here for that long, only a couple weeks, almost a month. They needed time. They were a lot better and much more comfortable with each other, sure, but it was difficult sometimes. Nothing good ever came easy. But being with her again was worth it.

He had managed to calm the whirlwind of fear and panic that had laid claim to his mind, slowly guiding his senses to his surroundings, drinking in the peaceful night that encompassed him. He should've felt better. It was so relaxing, the silver moonlight dripping from the clouds, the sweet, honey-tinted breeze that stroked his hair, the rustle of the leaves playing overhead. But he still felt empty. Lonely. A couple days ago, he had mentioned to her that he had been having nightmares after she inquired about his tired state. She had told him that if it happened again, he would be welcome to stop by her room for someone to talk to, as she usually stayed up pretty late herself. He had thanked her, but he had also lightly told her off for it, insisting that she needed to get enough sleep. But right now, he really, really hoped she hadn't listened to him.

His breath started to shake a little again as he walked over to her room, trying to ignore the tears welling up in his eyes. He didn't know why he was getting all worked up again.

What if she wasn't awake?

He was just dropping by to see if she was awake. He would be fine on his own, really. He was okay.

What if she was just being polite? What if she won't want to be there to comfort him?

He was okay. It was just a bad dream. He had managed on his own before. It was fine. He was fine.

He had reached her door. He stood in front of it, trying to calm down. Trying to stop fucking shaking so much. He finally raised a fist to the door and knocked on it gently.

"Jinx?" He tried to keep his voice from trembling. Silence. It was only for a few seconds, but it felt like forever.

"Ekko? Is that you?"

"Y-yeah." Relief flooded through his body.

The door creaked open and Jinx appeared, looking puzzled.

"What are you doing up so late? Is it the-" Her face fell, confusing him for a moment until he realized he had started crying again.

"S-sorry, I'm sorry I just-" he felt her cool hands on his face, tenderly wiping away his tears before pulling him into a much welcomed embrace. She pressed up against him, rubbing his back with one hand as her other massaged the back of his head gently. More tears fell from his eyes as he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her gently, still shaking. Her skin always seemed to be cold, yet her touch always brought him comfort.

"It's gonna be okay, Little Man. I'm here." Her voice was gentle and quiet, soothing. "Do you want to stay here for a while?"

"Uh-huh." His voice wavered and he nodded, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck. She squeezed him close, then gently led him in, not letting go. She wiped off his fresh tears with a sad, gentle, understanding smile as she guided him onto her bed, the mattress creaking a little as they curled up together. Ekko's hugged her tightly, comforted in her presence as she rubbed her hands in small circles on his back, his shoulders, his head; as she hummed a quiet song and lovingly nuzzled into him. It all felt so...right. Like everything was okay again. She was here. She was here. She was here. He was so glad she was here.

"Thank you."

"Always."

yaaaaay you made it to the end! :DDD ik that you will probably not be reading this on your birthday bc I think we're in similar time zones (?) but yea lmao 💀💪

fun facts time I started writing this on your birthday and have not stopped since. it is not your birthday anymore. it is 12:30 at night and I am going feral,,

anyways I hope you enjoyed also I hope you had a lovely birthday! this is actually my first ever proper fanfic and I don't think I've ever published any of my writing online before, but I've come this far already that at this point the wrath of the gods would not be powerful enough to stop me (from posting this and also just in general)

thanks for all your wonderful writing and for inspiring me to make this btw!

I may be sleep deprived,

Sincerely,,

OH MY GOD!!!

YOUR DESCRIPTIONS!!!!!>>>>>>>>

EKKO PRETENDING THAT HE'S KAY WHEN HE ISN'T!!!!

JINX COMFORTING EKKO!!!!

#timebomb #ekkojinx #ekko arcane #ekko #jinx arcane #jinx #arcane #birthday gift #birthday wishes #gift fic #fic rec #ask #homebrew-chaos #firelight jinx au #THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! #IT'S SO SWEET AND CUTE!!!!

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I vibe with hyperfixating w/ characters. To varying degrees I’ve fixated on: Armin from AOT for a while, 1D had a DEATH GRIP on me for a few years, (SEVEAL book characters through my teen years)I had an Alucard from castlevania fixation for maybe 3 ish years (‘ending’ only recently) and now Hobes lives in my head rent free ngl.

I get the “being sad cuz you can’t meet them” part, I’ve felt it. I try to not daydream TOO much cuz otherwise it takes over my life and I’m doing a considerable effort to live OUT of my own head, but BOI do I LOVE just daydreaming about my blorbos of choice.

I don’t speak too much about it (mostly the daydreaming) cuz to an extent it feels like a “me thing” (like something I don’t wanna share with anyone cuz it’s special to me), but if given the chance I DO info dump on my fixations.

I don’t think it’s cringe, not at all. These things are stuff that helps us process the world and our experiences with it. I believe everyone has sensitive weird shit that they don’t talk about, but if there’s something Ive learned is that we hardly ever have completely unique experiences. Most people just hide their oddness. Fandom being a prime example of how much our blorbos can mean to us. I think it’s okay and normal. (Until it goes overboard and people send idk violent messages to others because they headcanon something differently idk, the unreasonable stuff imo)

Can’t believe our of everything people would dare to make JOY and INTEREST the things with negative connotations. Being mean should be cringe, being a bully should be embarrassing. But unashamedly enjoying stuff?? That’s wonderful.

Anyone too embarrassed of their own vulnerability that they deal with it by making others feel bad about their interests are the most immature out if all of us.

Joy is everything that’s good with the world.

Even just seeing the letter 1D makes me wanna scream (in a good way!!) cause it takes me back to high school lol 1D was a bit older than me so my grade had Mindless Behaviour (does anyone remember them, where they even popular) but I remember the days where 1D was like the definition of summer songs

And I can totally understand the 'me thing'. Like I never really spoke about it but I felt like I knew my daydreams were more substantial or vivid than the 'average person' so to say.

Or when I spoke about characters to other people, I understood that neurotypicals likes characters, but they often didn't see them as fully formed 'persons' in the way I do - as to say, they didn't speculate or see emotional backstory, connections, or their behavior the way I did.

I never really shared any of my daydreams because like - I can't even get into it that's like asking someone to explain Star Wars to someone who doesn't even know space travel exists.

I grew up in a time on the internet where self-inserts and OC were seen as cringe, and someone would be very quick to call out 'Mary-Sue's (or flawless OCs) whenever they could.

It's not like that now - but in juxtaposition to canon x canon shipping, that bias is still there I feel like. Like it, as a work of fandom art has less 'value' that art or fics of canon only characters

It kinda bums me out still.

I think OC and daydreams and self-indulgent inserts are all the best part of fandom because it's the purest way of fans connecting with content on a personal level.

I'm happy that I see more people pushing back on that lately. Like after years of seeing people viciously hate furries when most of them seem like very nice, fun people, it's refreshing for people to be like 'nah, actually this thing is cool. and im gonna spend of time and/or money on this thing cause i makes me happy;

like you remember when the new Star Wars movie trailers came out and that dude reacted to it and he was moved to tears and people made fun of him??

yeah fuck everyone else that dude knows whats up.

Like yes, openly cry to your faves. Fantasize deep meaningful daydreams that help you process your feelings. Draw your OC with them, or learn every single thing their is to know about them.

That's why I wanted to talk about this. Because I've never heard it spoken about before. Maladaptive daydreaming, yes - and that can be harmful. But I hardly ever hear people talk about the basic mundane experience of it - or even how it can enrich our lives and help us emotionally develop of neurodivergent people.

When I think of it that way, it's something that makes me happy. I don't think I'll ever be able to describe it fully, and that's the point. Our stories are private to us, not because theyre embarrassing, but because they're so us that to even describe it would like describing a new world top to bottom

I love it. It's what makes humans humans.

#Thank you for this!!! Reading this is like living on planet Earth for once like yess!!! You get it!! #neurodivergency #neurodivergent #actuallyautistic #actuallyaudhd #actuallyadhd #adhd #autism #audhd #character fixations #hyperfixations #cringe culture

[navysealt4t]

HELLO BLUE!! ^_^ i am back in your inbox to peddle my wares (fic concepts that are plaguing me actively)

BASICALLY for further context: this fic is like. how i have it in my head is the first chapter is a wishful-thinking type of thing. where clown is intentionally out of character (and specifically more in-line with zam's perception of him, being strong willed and close with the thing plaguing him. accepting it and emerging unharmed from the process of becoming one with [in his case] the void.) and celebrated. it's a fantasy. which is part of why that's specifically referred to as abacināre; to be blinded (typically by a red-hot iron rod or basin). because it isn't the truth.

"wind up the music box, look at the book again. whose story is it really?" is a call to the correct story, the one that zam was hiding behind this dream of being someone else.

currently i haven't fully finished zam's part. but. i gave him moths as a manifestation of trauma & paranoia & fear ^_^ because i just. something in my brain makes that click. (i've used that in previous fics. i can't remember where it came from but i like it, i use it). zam's spend his life trying to kill his fear, or hide away from it, only for it to come fluttering in through the cracks. so harmless, yet absolutely soul-destroying for him. he's tearing himself apart by proxy, since he's killing a part of himself with those moths.

something something trauma acceptance... i dunno it's a flowery metaphor for admiring people who've learnt to cope with trauma (or at least, what you've perceived as such. this is untrue in the case of what zam's seeing. clown was never bothered or hurt by the void, it was just a part of life to him. making this goal completely unachievable and unreasonable on zam's part) and not knowing how to, since their example doesn't apply to what you experienced. so instead you try and follow the example and it just brings you back to square one time and time again.

also, hence, spērāre, which can mean any of the following: "to hope, expect", "to await, anticipate", "to fear, be apprehensive", "to assume, suppose".

ALSO LASTLY, the fic's title being Asomatous, meaning without a material body; incorporeal. is just the icing on the cake that is this horrible angst riddled fic. because like. zam's assumptions aren't based in anything real, they have no grounding to them. and honestly? in this... zam may as well be a ghost. and the moths as well. they aren't real, they're a manifestation ^_^ (i can't go ten minute without giving my blorbos issues. and i just like making them Like Me yk yk)

(if i give this fic a nice/happy ending then we'll get a little healing. otherwise uh. self destructive tendencies the curse yet also my beloved as a plot device.)

ogugffbhjnkfmk i have. so many thoughts...... this is supposed to just be a random fic concept that i write and never think about again. im thinking about this one a LOT. i hope you've enjoyed my nonsense ramblings because i didnt realize i could talk this much until i just. started. talking.

oh. also. song ^_^

ooiugh pitting all of this In my Mouth <3333 i LOVEEE this idea clown being intentionally out of character and idk why but i LOVEE ‘whose story is it really?’

AND MOTHS!!!! AS THE MANIFSTATION OF FEAR AND TRAUMA AIUHH <3333 i love bugs as like metaphors and in writing it’s sooo 💥💥

FUCKING . HOLD U IN MY HAND I LOVEEE HOW UR BRAIN WORKS <333333 oughh the title i love it i LOVE this 🫶🫶🫶🫶

i loveeee the nonsense rambling <3 just getting lil bits of ur brain i love words fuck yeah !!!!!

#asks #haunted ghouls #ouhhhhhh this SUCH a fucking cool concept. rotating all of this in my brain #beloveds <3

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ari<33 how was your day? how is it going? tell me tell me!! MY QUESTION IS what movies would be your movies with gojo n geto n shoko?? like something you're both always down to watch

i just thought about this bc i put jackass on for background noise (a totally normal thing to do i know) and i realized that jackass would absolutely be something me n gojo would bond over lmao i think he'd find it so funny and he'd react to everything sooo dramatically like he's crawling backwards over the couch he's gagging he's crying he's laughing and he will most definitely wanna fucking try some of the stunts............................ he's stupid and i love him

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY !!!!!!!! hihihi!!!!!!!!! so happy to see u here hehe. my day was good!!! 🌻🌻🌻 im trying to take advantage of my uni break to read and write a bunch!!! which is super fun :D i wanna check out more of ur stuff sometime soon too !!!!

what abt u mickey?? did u do anything fun??? i hope ur day was (or is!!) super duper lovely <33

AAAA AND. thats the cutest question ever im losing it im biting at the walls tysm for indulging my sashisu obsession….. this got long u have been warned ‼️

FIRST OF ALL i just wanna say i havent watched jackass so i cant comment as much as i want to 😔😔😔 bUT i trust u and agree w everything u say yep yep !!!! AND i 100% agree that gojo would do movie stunts w u THATS SO CUTE 😭😭 he would do the most complicated dangerous stunt just to impress u <333 and then break his ankle. and force u to nurse him back to health it was on purpose :/

ahhh but!!!! honestly mickey i dont watch as many movies as id like to……. (PLS GIVE ME RECS 🙏🙏🙏) i have some faves and genres that i love tho!! so here r just some general thoughts :3

gojo is canonically down to watch basically anything so i feel like we would hunt down the most awful/low quality/unintentionally hilarious movies we can n just lose it laughing. ALSO…. im not super into reality tv but i think gojo would LOVE that shit. obsessed w it. i would watch his silly little reality tv shows just to make him happy <333 i feel like he would have genuine beef w people on the show too PHDKDJD LIKE DAMN IS IT REALLY THAT SERIOUS… but it is. he’s out for blood.

….. also this is me being self indulgent lets be clear but: some part of me thinks gojo would love musicals <33 its the would-be theatre kid in him. i love and cherish the legally blonde musical and i know he would too. he sings along obnoxiously loud which would be super funny if he was tone deaf but sadly he has a beautiful voice LMAOO

NOW as for shoko …… she loves horror movies. loves them loves them. i think she’d actually prefer really bad horror movies though. bc she thinks the over-the-top effects are so funny… either way im suffering bc im a scaredy cat LOL. but i feel like she’d like that too <33 (i would cry and she would comfort me by explaining how splattered brains ACTUALLY look and that would make me cry more)

AH ALSO … i have literally no idea where this came from and its not a movie but!! i think shoko would be unreasonably obsessed w the office. its her hyperfixation. we would binge it together all the time <33 my favorite is michael but she would compare him to gojo (objectively correct comparison) and i would no longer be able to see him the same way

and then for sugu…….. he’s so pretentious mickey. i just know he is. ONLY watches good movies. if u ask nicely he’ll watch a bad movie w u but will silently judge it + ur taste the whole time i hate him. (i dont.) idk i just feel like he has way too much to say abt fight club and the godfather PSBDJBF TELL ME U SEE THE VISION…. will lowkey mainsplain them to u but its sugu so i think its fine <33

but jokes aside i think sugu just has Good taste. beyond the mainstream toxic man movies (and even w those i think he has genuinely good and interesting takes he’s simply Perfect)… i feel like he has a wide selection of lesser known movies that are actually really really good and he shares them w u <3 and gatekeeps them from everyone else im thinking like old monochrome french movies w really interesting plots …. indie gems …. etc etc.

but as i said im not knowledgeable abt movies at ALL so i think id just have to trust his taste n watch them w him 😭😭 i cant decide if he’s the type to pause the movie every two minutes to explain something or give u side eye if u talk while its playing PDBDJDJ EITHER WAY… i love him.

OH BUT BUT BUT …. i think sugu would love mystery movies a lot!!! and they r my favorites ever ever ever. i love knives out & the 2009 sherlock holmes movies so i would force him to watch them w me. thankfully theyre super good so we’d both be happy :) yeah.

if u pay attention while reading u can tell the exact moment i started getting carried away i think PDBDJD THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION MICKEY ….. so fun to think abt. if u have any more thoughts on what u and gojo would watch PLS tell me i am itching to know 🙏🙏🙏🙏

#check: be normal abt sashisu (legendary: failure) #I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEMMMM #mickey what r ur favorite movies also !! 👀👀 pls i need recs i cant live like this #i need to start coming up w good questions to ask u too grrr my imagination is so lacking though 😭😭😭 #ask tag ✩

[welcometocapitalism]

im worried that my previous ask is way too aggressive and might make you feel defensive and thats not helpful at all so i just want to explain that im so angry because it breaks my heart to see other people being violently harassed into submission just for saying something that isnt a popular opinion. you are quite literally being gaslit by a bunch of strangers who desperately dont want to have to think that hard about the material consequences of their own behaviors.

they are simplifying the issue in order to make you look unreasonable so that they can completely dismiss your opinion while giving you no way to defend yourself without making yourself look worse. its manipulative and coercive and vile. they have tricked you into condemning your own behavior and reinforcing that self doubt that THEY planted in you in the first place.

they are convincing you that you have to police yourself otherwise they will do it for you and they arent going to be nice about it.

they intentionally misunderstood what you were saying so that they could ignore the point you were making and thus avoid taking responsibility for their personal role in our capitalist society.

they are operating on this us vs them mindset of "good people" vs "bad people" and they think that they are a "good person" and that you are trying to maliciously assert that theyre actually a "bad person." its fascist behavior. they dont want to acknowledge their place in the web of life because then they have to be more careful about how they act and they simply do not want to. they think its their god given right to not have to do anything thats difficult and reflecting on how you are influenced by the oppressive systems you live in is not just difficult but uncomfortable!

you are forcing people to confront some very very uncomfortable truths about themselves and they are reacting the only way they know how: by lashing out at the people around them.

it is a reflection on THEM not YOU. their reaction doesnt say anything about you or the opinion you stated and everything about the experiences and expectations and knowledge that inform the way they think about the world around them.

i just dont feel comfortable standing by and watching this happen to someone else. so i dont know what it means to you but, i completely agree with your original point and i am more than happy to defend it if you dont feel comfortable doing so. i know how scary it can be to face down a mob of people who you know might turn to violence if you dont comply and i know most people dont find it as easy to take harassment as i do. i am more than willing to fight the fight if you cant.

idk just. be kinder to yourself. you cant let these people get to you. i knows it so fucking hard. its so so fucking hard. but you dont have to do it alone.

i hope youre okay.

hey fren, I've seen it all but I'm sorry I'm not gonna respond to all that, I'm very thankful for your kind thoughts and words but it's kinda a bit much 😅

just know we're on the very same track about the whole thing. It's absolutely hilarious what some people wrote to me about an already reworded opinion on pillows, and i can genuinely just laugh about that

this entire thread turned so badly into satire with so many layers that it could almost be considered an artistic expression. after all, this is the internet, which was kinda the original ordeal of the post, and I took it and made it 1000% funnier by writing too quickly and then people came and made it 10000% funnier by becoming embarrassingly entrenched in some random ass online discourse

I like to half jokingly call this kind of behavior 'internet sickness', since as you also noted you can find this kind of behavior all over the internet. people see an entire universe full of people that seemingly get the attention they don't, but humans are fueled with attention, so sometimes you see someone do literally anything for that tiny tad of attention, even if they don't mean it. this may sound familiar from the way I word my posts sometimes, because as I made clear as day, I'm not better than that sometimes.

Admittedly, I also suppose not all of the angry asks and comments would have been so hostile if tumblr would show late reposts with their comments on an original post more clearly, which isn't so easy. This is why I pinned yet another polarizing post about it with a comment about the situation 🤭 some people would rather click to start another shitstorm than click to find out there's no reason for them to freak out. But often in the internet people don't freak out of hostility, but because they realize (but refuse to accept) they identify with something about the cause in some way, so that would be a positive thing I suppose. It's up to each of us individually to grow from that.

i don't get hard feelings about these people, and genuinely as a former Twitter user I'm kinda used to it. it's just an annoyance at some point, but I suppose it's also the attention I was looking for 💁

After all, I get to post this lyrical masterpiece once more in a well fitting context

#let's see how many new angery asks I get about this one lmfao #may be worded a bit poor #I literally got up early on a Saturday for my fulltime week job #Because the company must grow 🫡

[cassidysparacosm]

She-Ra

Huntlow

King Andrias Leviathan, Lord of Amphibia. Peacekeeper of a thousand years and the first of his name.

Thank you for the ask :D

She ra

• Favorite character: Glimmer

• Least Favorite character: did the purple goat person ever get a name?

• 5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Glimmadora, Scorfuma, Glitradora, and thats it

• Character I would be best friends with: bow would like be the best person to hang out with ever

• a random thought: fun fact theres a character called sans undertale. Im serious

• An unpopular opinion: Micah deserved more screentime

• My Canon OTP: Scorfuma

• My Non-canon OTP: Glimmadora

• Most Badass Character: Scorpia

• Most Epic Villain: idk

• Pairing I am not a fan of: catradora. Im sorry. With the right redemption arc i couldve shipped it but i just dislike the way it turned

•Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

• Favourite Friendship: The og friendship squad,, i love em.

• Character I most identify with: Glimmer

• Character I wish I could be: Mermista

Huntlow

• When I started shipping them: gonna be honest i was pretty late on the huntlow train, it wasnt til thanks to them that i got on board

• My thoughts: its neat. Doesnt really remarkably stand out for me but i dont mind it.

• What makes me happy about them: trauma buddies helping each other recover. If thats not goals i dont know what is

• What makes me sad about them: that so much s3 was cut out so we only saw snapshots of their interactions

• Things done in fanfic that annoys me: i havnt read any huntlow fanfics

• Things | look for in fanfic: hurt/comfort

• Who I'd be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I originally shipped willuz at the start of the series so probs that, but with amity included bc poly relationships are better than love triangles. As for hunter i dont really have anyone i ship him with. I think i see him as aroace lol

King Andrias

• How I feel about this character: mixed feelings. I think hes unreasonable in his past actions and hes a bit of a coward- though i get why, with aldrich and the core in his head all the time. Happy with the ending he got though. Not dead but none of his actions being downplayed by the cast.

•Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: i think if andrias hadnt changed then him and Leif and Barrel coulda been sweet together.

• My unpopular opinion about this character: i dont get why he had to be a robot? It came outta nowhere and i woulda just been fine thinking he was just immortal. It raises so many questions like did his body start decomposing at some point from old age?? Or as soon as he was king was he wired on with cyborg parts.

• One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: see above answer. Also wish wed seen more of his family, like his mom or something. Where did he come from??? If his species is planet destroyers is his species even originally from amphibia? Srsly tho where momdrias at

• Favorite friendship for this character: Leif and barrel

• My crossover ship: i know some people would want me to say Belosdrias but

Darkstalker andrias anyone? /j

Also thank you for the ask game! Just a heads up for others seein this, my ask box is still open and im eager to share my OSC opinions

#ask game #amphibia #toh #huntlow #andrias amphibia #she ra and the princesses of power #cress rambles

[unethicalexperiments]

idk how to really start this but like. my mental state is just so exhausting like im so tired of it. theres no reason i should be this volatile theres no reason i should react to situations the way i do. just last night i had a weird (not even that bad) interaction with a stranger and it pissed me off so much i tried to kill myself. i wasn't sad or embarrassed i was just so furious over it, because it was a 10 second interaction and i couldn't explain myself to the other person, and i was just so fucking angry i was ready to physically hurt the other person over it well after i walked away. and then once i got home i was so upset that i got that unreasonably angry over a nothing interaction. and its not like i even got angry while i was still with the other person! it wasnt until after i walked away! there were only two thoughts circling in my mind for about 30-60 minutes after (idk im so bad at keeping track of time) that were just "why do i react to things like this" and "i just want it to stop hurting" bc thats the worst of it it just hurts so much. i swear im in physical pain after having breakdowns like that i feel hollow in my chest and obviously i dont have to say anything else about how much it emotionally hurts. i just want it to stop hurting. is that really too much to ask for? to not be in so much pain for just a little while? i guess i still havent come to terms with the fact that im disabled, because i still think of being disabled as someone who uses aids, even though i know invisible disabilities are a thing. i dont see other peoples invisible disabilities as being invalid, just really my own, because i still feel like im high enough functioning that i shouldnt consider myself disabled. i dont use mobility aids yet i dont take pain medication yet so therefore the literal brain damage i have isnt bad enough, im still fine. i kind of got off track but thats also part of it i guess. another thing that really gets me is the fact that i actually do have bpd, i was diagnosed by an actual doctor at 17 and its still a more than valid diagnosis. i feel like im in this constant cycle of "i have to get better because i cant keep living like this" and "i have to get worse so everyone else can see what theyve done to me". like last night i literally had to sit down and reread the dsm chapter on bpd to remind myself this is why youre like this. you do have this diagnosis its real and it is a problem. my 30 minute episodes of actively trying to kill myself to be followed by watching tv or something and laughing as if none of that happened. i still cant fathom not living like this, not having to go through this every fucking day. and then on the other hand i had a great interaction today at my job that made me feel really good about what i do and proving the work that i do is actually helping the community around me. and i felt on top of the world for like an hour, i felt great! and then another thing at work happened where i proved myself/my team to be right about something! which was also great! and i got another half hour of happiness. and then i get home and im reminded of how alone i am, how i really have no one to do or share anything with anymore. which is partially my fault and partially not! im not gonna act like im the most pleasant person to be around or that im easy to deal with, but fuck, man, i try. and it always feels like no one else is trying. i cut my own hair for the first time a few weeks ago; it came out great! and had no one to tell about it.

and now im just staring at a wall over all of it. none of the bad stuff happened none of the good stuff happened. im gonna get violently angry later and im gonna be nearly euphoric later, its just another day. and i want to change i want to change my lifestyle so bad but how can i do that without any help. i spent years of my life begging for other people to help me and got ignored, which resulted in my disability. i tried so hard to fix it on my own but i couldnt! im not a doctor! and now ill never be because i couldnt finish my pre-med classes because of my disability! i feel like im constantly screaming at the top of my lungs and waving red flags shouting please for the love of god someone help me every day and every day nothing changes. they say you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped, but has anyone actually tried helping people before? youre telling me you cant problem solve? you cant find a different road to a solution, just because we cant take the easiest one? im sorry that its not easy for everyone else to help me, but how does anyone else think i feel?

but whatever. im fine now. i relived every emotion i went through while writing all that but im fine now. now that its all out there its all out there, out of my system. i dont care anymore. because it didnt matter. because it doesnt matter. none of it matters. it happened and its gonna happen again. ill go through these cycles again tomorrow and the next day and the next week and the next month and the next year and so on. it is what it is i guess. but does it really have to be.

#talking to myself #content warning for like. borderline personality disorder. i guess. #this is just a wall of text bc i wont go back to therapy no one feel obligated to open or read this

[pbandjesse]

Guess who came home!!! Me!!! Im barely fighting it anymore. I just wanted to be at my house.

Honestly today was so much better. I only got real upset once. And really it's just because of lunch and that's not shocking so I am just going to bring food with me tomorrow. The other time I got a little upset was when I woke up and got dressed and was about to leave. When I found Frenchie dead in the living room.

I was honestly really hurt. Like I just got him back. He looked so happy in his clean tank. But he got out, fell on the floor from up high. I don't know what happened but James tried to put him back in the tank and he just floated. I felt like a monster. It's all my fault. I just felt terrible.

James took him to the fire escape and buried him with the corn. His body will feed the plants and it will be okay. I had to leave but I sort of felt hollow.

I had a funny interaction with a man at the McDonald's drive through flirting with me and I was very awkward and just pointed at my ring and he applogized but I was like it's okay!! Thank you for staying in beautiful!! Made me feel a little better.

And overall today everyone was just really nice to me today. I feel like they knew I needed it somehow. When I got to camp, a little late, everyone was all smiles. Heather gave me a huge hug unprompted. And I could have fell apart honestly be she gives the best mom hugs. So close to how my mom hugs me and I need that, especially when I miss my parents a lot.

My kids were all so good today. Honestly no issues at all. The first group I had was day camp 8 and they were probably my favorite group this week. Just amazing and it was my favorite set of Nathan, Elizabeth, and Anna Mae. Yes someone named their child anime. But I love them all so much and they gave me huge hugs and then everyone else in the class was like. We want to hug Ms Jesse too. And I could have cried it was so sweet.

Everyone made good art today. I got to wear a long sleeve shirt for some of the day. I helped with the circus. Things were good!

I did get a little frustrated when my beads were finally returned and it had to be after I asked and they claimed they didn't have them and then their councilor brought the girls back to return them because they had lied. And it hurt my feelings a bit. Like I keep saying I always want to share, but please don't take advantage or steal from me. It just hurts my feelings.

Lunch is what pushed me over the edge. I know I was slightly out of pocket with my upset. But like I got to lunch and we had no table. They took it for the carnival. Which is fine. But senior staff just said specialty could go set at trading post. Okay. Can we have some food. Oh well there isn't any more yet. Okay is there a vegetarian option. Maybe? Check the kitchen! No I won't I was told we aren't allowed in there and I'm trying to set a good example. And they acted like I was crazy. And finally I just said. Outloud. I hate this fucking place. And walked out.

And like. I know I probably looked and sounded crazy. But I hate when things are told to me as a rule, I try to follow the rules, no one else follows the rule, the rules change, no one has any information, I just feel so unsettled inside. And I know I probably seem like. Inflexible and unreasonable. But I just felt so unregulated in that moment and it wasn't even like I was hungry. I was just overwhelmed.

So I left. I went back to arts and sat in my hammock. Eventually a coworker came up so I could help her hem her pants. Which didn't go perfect. I didn't have black thread and she messed up cutting the pants because she didn't wait for me to help. But I think we did a great job even if they are slightly shorter then she had planned.

And then I had my next group. Who were so good. And stockade came and I taught them to embroider. And it was fun. I was on a kick with that today. I had shown Nathan, Elizabeth, and Anna Mae as well. I am working on my own embroidery so that was fun to be able to do with the kids.

I thought I had tipis today. But apparently I am wrong. Whatever. So I was able to go and help with the carnival for a little and got cotton candy. I would share with Randy on the porch. Chat with CJ. And go back to arts to start packing up the building.

I hope to get a lot of the building packed tomorrow when Olivia's back. I hope she is back.

I also decided I would come home. I would go buy myself a fish. I told Heather and she supported me. And I texted Laura and she came and hung out with me for a while before I headed out.

I went to two different pet stores. I wanted a beta. Possibly two beta's if they weren't to expensive. But I was very disappointed in the first store. All of their fish looked dead or dying. So I left. And drove a few minutes down the street to the Petco me and Laura had gone to with the fancy beta's and they looked so healthy.

I had a nice chat with the lady in the dish department. And looked at all the tanks. But decided I would go with a beta. I was torn between a few but had given myself a budget and wanted to stick to that.

So I got a half moon male beta, who I have named Domino. I love them. I will probably get a bigger finned One for the living room tank. But I just love how bright this one is and I love their little back face. They are just so sweet.

I also got a plant. And cat food. And then headed home.

Driving with an aquatic animal always makes me nervous but we made it home and I got them in their tank and they look so small but I love them so much already. Doesn't stop how much I hurt over the loss of Clifford and Frenchie. But new beginnings is positive.

James made us texmex. And it has been a really nice night. Dinner was great. James downloaded a game. We spent time together and I have felt more better. More settled inside. They have done so much for the wedding this week and that makes me feel so secure. We did a few little things together. And I feel a lot better.

I hope tomorrow is a great day. I hope I have great kids and that nothing upset me. I feel like I'm gonna jinx it saying that but I just want to speak it into existence. I will have a good day. I hope you do too. Sleep well everyone. Good night!!!