#-single human being

[pollyna]

Navy regs are in books that quote books that quote books. Ron has all of them somewhere in the house, with Tom's precise handwriting pointing out all the spelling issues and doing the theoretical maths his degree didn't help him to understand. In a less neat calligraphy, in some pages, Nick's notes are mixed with doodles and his own notes. Of Annapolis he will forever remember the heat and the hours in class, before their callsigns, when Nick used to make him late because he had to kiss him one minute more and Tom had the most convenient, and convicing, excuse for them.

(Maybe he could find some of those books and show them to Bradley the next time he's going to come around. He could probably appreciate them? Or maybe he should ask Maverick?)

Regs say no tattoo, but regs say a lot of shit Ice used to correct back then and that he corrected during the years. Regs say no tattoos, and Tom said they were stupid, so Ron got his first, then his second, and half of his right sleeve. The only people who know of them are his friends, his doctors, his mirror and his tattoo artist. Having to wear a shirt all day, and a jacket for most of it, has its advantages, even if he fucking hates being an admiral most of the time. But it's almost time; another couple of years, and he's going to retire and never again put a foot on a Navy base.

The studio isn't the biggest in town, but Ron knows the artist and their dad, and they are both the best for what he needs. He's so focused on the piece of paper between his hands that he almost misses two young women saluting him, with a half-panicked Adrmial Kerner, sir!

At ease, Lieutenants, glad to see someone knows where to get good ones. He smiles because he knows they shouldn't be there, but he shouldn't be either, so it's not really a problem. He's going to add something when something, someone, hugs his leg and has all his attention. Oh, who do we have here? George? You're so big now, boy! he picks up the kid. Mom is waiting for you! he points towards one of the rooms, and, in less than five steps he takes, George tells him all he can fit in, and it's a lot.

(Ron finds himself wondering if Bradley was the same at that age.)

So you're already back for the next piece, uhuh? a voice asks. You know, I can't live without you, hon, he answers, laughing loudly. They laugh with him, but it dies when he passes them the piece of paper. I'm so sorry, Ron, they murmur, and he finds himself smiling lightly, trying not to cry again, thank you Carly.

He takes off his jacket and then his shirt, and his right arm is colorful but not whole. Are you ready, big guy? they smile, dipping the tattoo gun in the red ink as ready as I was the first time he answers. Carly draws and talks, asking questions about the kid (he's a man now and he's almost as tall as me), about the kids (if they destroyed the base while I was gone, at least they're going to let me retire), about Tom and there, Ron has to take a breath because it fucking hurts. He doesn't know if it's the point they're working on or missing Tom or both, but he has to ask Carly to stop for a minute. (He was-the last few days were the hardest. Did you know he used to write mathematical formulas when he was bored during lessons? He and Nick were good friends, Tom was the reason behind the Mother Goose. I miss him. I miss them all Carly). Almost five hours have passed by the time it's done, and by that point they're humming random songs and listening to the description of the rock George found outside his school that same morning. All done, Admiral. You already know what you have to do, right? I'd like to see you next week to check on some of the edges around the elbow, but it's already looking pretty great. Ron barely hears her because he's so intent on looking at his arm, where now Tom's name is adorning his arm, just inches away from Nick and Carole's. Yeah, yeah whenever you want Carl'.

(It's seven in the evening and the cemetery is empty. The bouquet is a happy one, and his shirt leaves are already up. It's done, I finally finished it. He starts and you're here all together now. I miss both of you. I hope Tom's there too. I hope you're all okay now.)

The regs say no tattoos, and Tom said fuck 'em all, and now they are all there while he flies and teaches and lives another day, under his uniform and out in the open.

#ron slider kerner #carly (oc) #they are non binary and their kid call them mom #admiral ron slider kerner #tom iceman kazansky (mentioned) #nick goose bradshaw (mentioned) #carole bradshaw (mentioned) #bradley rooster bradshaw (mentioned) #slider wants to have a relationship with bradley bc it's nick&carole's kid but he's mav&ice's so basically all his favourite people in a- #-single human being #if it's not clear i have a thing for tattoos au bc i want another tattoo okay #so basically has this big ass tattoo on his sleeve and in the middle there are nick&carole&tom's name #idk what he got tattoed tho not yet #something colorful and happy for sure #not really happy bout the last part #implied past #slooserole #iceman & slider friendship #post top gun: maverick #ot3: i even wrote you a love letter #top gun: maverick

[hamletthedane]

my brother just called me late at night, barely able to get two words out because he was laughing so hard. Finally, through the wheezing, he told me “go google the new Gollum game. Please”

So I did. And now I just spent half an hour on the phone nearly dying. We just kept sending eachother pictures of Gollum from the game and LOSING IT all over again. I haven’t laughed this hard in YEARS.

#gollum game #lotr #jrrt and Christopher Tolkien are both rolling in their graves while I’m rolling on the floor #WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT #WHY IS IT SO FUNNY #DID A SINGLE OTHER HUMAN BEING REVIEW THIS BEFORE SHIPPING IT OUT #THIS IS GLORIOUS CHANGE NOTHING

[whalesfall]

btw. your search for the most morally upright and ethical piece of media that has the most correct “representation” will destroy your ability to find the most profound and beautiful and human of stories. and may even destroy the stories themselves before they are created. if you even care.

#the search for the Ideal Representation is both unattainable and soul-crushing. childrens cartoons moral codes are not #the best way to judge a piece of media #and the stories created by the very people in the communities that are most silenced are always the first ones to be #targeted for their Problematic Factors #as if any story can properly encapsulate the breadth of every complex human experience in one go #something isn't inherently deserving of being reduced to Irredeemable Media status just because you cannot personally relate to it #on the other hand approaching every single story as if its only value is its Shipping Status and how you can #incorporate it into your identity (and stake your Moral Uprightness based on how Ethically you consume said media) #is not necessarily any better. but different post is needed. #aughhhh bite bite chomp kill

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility #but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion #that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone #i am an environmental educator #so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering #that people are going through #without doing my research and providing real ways to help #this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning #to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering #unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this #and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this #and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity #(complaining) #and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself #for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion #i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out #rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually. #my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free #is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY. #anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i #which is more than their CEOs can say

[ride-a-dromedary]

"Halsin shouldn't be that big or muscular or look middle aged because he's an elf and the lore sa-"

I actually think he should be bigger and look more middle aged, personally.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #the man has been non-stop stressed for a century like i'm surprised that didn't prematurely age him MORE #i think he *should* have silver hairs peppered throughout from the endless stress he's been under #and be built like a professional strong man with a significant healthy layer of fat because he *hibernates* and is *practically strong* #and because he says he likes sweet things and doesn't find any point in denying himself things he likes #so you're telling me that man is chiseled and cut like an unhealthy bodybuilder? #no i don't think so #'elf lore says-' this game is literally all about curbing your expectations when it comes to what people are 'meant' to be #elf lore says a lot of things that halsin fits *to a t* - his appearance being out of the 'norm' is not a flaw #but it doesn't matter then does it? only when he physically fits the species paradigm? #'that's not how elf aging works!' why not? you've seen how human's age yeah? different people age in different ways #you can line up ten 50 year olds next to one another and not a single one of them will look the same #the thing is that under every single umbrella there is diversity of experience #people will look and age differently from others - that's just how life and genetic diversity *works* #anyway this is a gripe at two different things at once don't mind me

[gentlebeard]

If I could hold you for a minute, Darling, I’d go through it again

For @edsbacktattoo & @stedesearring 💕 Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 1 & 2 Music: Francesca by Hozier YouTube

#ofmd #our flag means death #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #ofmdedit #ofmdaily #ofmd source #ofmd fanvid #ofmd s2 #ofmd edit #blackbonnet #ella’s edit #HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMS ❤️ #AND A BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAITLIN ❤️ #i'm killing two (impossible) birds with one stone by dedictating this video to both of you absolute angels!! #jams i love you so much. you're so incredibly talented and hilarious and kind and amazing. i'm so grateful for you. #if you didn't live halfway around the world i would come over and give you the biggest and warmest hug #thank you for letting me scream in your dms all the time. whether it's about our pirate boys or your writing or cancellation hell™️ #and just THANK YOU for being such a wonderful presence in my life #oh and kaitlin. lovely sweet kind kaitlin. the one we all love to call a human ray of sunshine because you're just THAT lovely #your little yellow hearts in the tags brighten my day every time i see them. whenever i talk to you you're just so sweet #thanks for every single lovely word. for every music rec. for every sweet message or ask. what a gift you are. ily!!! #speaking of gifts: i couldn't think of a more perfect song for the two of you than francesca #so i hope you like my little creation that i've put together. once again shoutout to #evil gang 😈

[trappednyourheart]

A family visit

Alfred has been granted (Force) by the bats a week off, and whatever way would he do in a week?, visit his Father of course!

Alfred didn't really have a word into this, he only just been given (forced) a week off, he reason with the family ( it always works) but to his surprised! None of it came through there heads! ( Somehow they got lucky from Alfred's reasonable scolding)

What about the manor? Who would care of it? Who would assist? What will happen if-

How many times he reason and tried to budge it in there minds, none of it work?

Alfred is in horror, so the only thing he can only do is accept, remind them what's not do and do, (every single details) or atleast the common things to do, which he thinks they can handle it- if not, if he sees the house in shambles or in the news, he can now have a reason to not always take a weeks off.

In Alfred's room, he was packing some pairs of clothes, a coat, a medical kit, pairs of shoes, a book, his dark shawl that is covered with a lots of constellation's from his papa's gifts, (he always take good care of it when he left on his own, he couldn't leave his shawl even in the time of his work,) and whatever he needs.

He decided to visit and have his week's off to his papa's, it's been quite a long time ( maybe 60 years or so-)

It's not like he was an absent son, he was just busy, he would occasionally send letters or his baked cookie's ( he's own recipe but still came from papa's original treats).

The Batfam does know Alfred had a dad who's still alive?( Which the kids would joke about how his dad is immortal) outside his life here in Gotham as the only staff in the Wayne manor.

While they were chilling in the living room, they could see Alfred heading towards the door, before he stop and took out a letter, and as he did a ring in the bell could be heard, Alfred open the door, and greeted..

The mailman? ( A very hardworking ghost mailman, just saying “Jolly ho!- how may I help send! Deliver, or even package international!” which Alfred replying “International please, for in this ### #### ## address, I need it quickly delivered through his doorsteps” then the Mailman just nodded, Alfred payed him and he just disappeared)

And Alfred sighs in relief and went to get his luggage, and bid the Batfam goodbye without even explaining what was happening (Bruce dropped his newspaper)

They might had ideas Alfred wasn't human or normal, but after that bombshell, they just can't stop the urge to find out ( like the usual thing the Batfam does, but only minimal like just knowing where he went and they wanted to have Alfred privacy)

Alfred was on his way to his papa's home very much missing the feeling of home in Britain now it's been quite a long time almost but he's getting second thoughts, what would his papa think?

( and yes, hes dad was wealthy, and through family too, He lived in a manor too,

which was a very old money manor, cause Danny? he's literally the ghost king)

Alfred decided he got this, so he took a step and took a deep breath In the front door of the home he loved and cared for in his childhood, knocking three times and the only thing he imagined is that his papa would give him a big warm hug like old times when Alfred would visit once a while before he truly left home.

The bats were in disguise, well partially disguise, the british neighbors nearby can see them looking at them like there were weird (stalking is not a healthy way...sometimes) And how can they even see them?! There literally in a camouflage!!

They saw how Alfred took a step, and knock three times...the door open and there they saw- a kid? Wait what? The black haired and blue teenager might be 16 who looks like could be adoption bait look surprised and happy and he give Alfred a hug, and Alfie just return the gesture, they were having a conversation, they couldn't here it because they were out of range and no hearing gadgets ( damn it Bruce)

Then Alfred and the teen went back to the house, and the door could only shut blocking there view of Alfred and the teen.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dcxdp prompt #dcxdp original #dpxdc #batman #danny phantom #tim drake-wayne #jason todd #Richard grayson #Damian Wayne #the four little shits- #they were sent by ”ehem bruce” to spy on Alfred after what happen at the front door #Danny is Alfred's biological Dad #Alfred aint human #hes born as a ghost #not exactly halfa like his dad #i mean what do you think he got his abilities to not be heard and just shows up behind uour back #Danny is the ghost king and single dad of three #Dan is in another universe #ellie is traveling the worlds or universe being a errand girl from clockwork like fixing and being the IRS #And alfred the youngest who was born out of the core #Danny looks like 16 but hes way older than that #jazz is immortal too and is a phycologist #Sam is a Like poison ivy in metropolis but she helps the heroes so shes like in the neutral side. #tucker is a CEO of his company in the ghost zone for his tech and ghosts who really need technology in there deaths/lifes

[crow-with-a-pencil]

Hi @naffeclipse I'm very normal about your fic. Have some frantic midnight sketches as extra kudos along with some tag rambling :)

#my ârt #crush depth #crush depth spoilers #fnaf #tw blood #tw drowning #idk how many others apply #anyways this is midnight crow coming out of the shadow realm to scream at you #first of all a cs ramble is on the way I'm still recovering from that fic too #im biting you naff im biting you so dang hard #I don't even know much about iron lung besides watching a play through but damn do you make me want to know more #just. where do I even start. the atmosphere is established so well and even though there was such a small space to work with I FELT it #I felt the claustrophobia I felt the walls and the console and the single dim lightbulb as my only solace in this death trap #the THOUGHTS #poor yn had so much time to just get lost in their head and spiral pretty much constantly #the dread. the constant overhanging dread of knowing there's a 99% chance they're not getting out of there alive and at this point #they just want to accept it and let it end bc there's hardly anything to go back to if they live #naff. look at me. reading some parts made my chest actually tighten with dread. it was so well done. #this poor human just buried in existential horror and just wanting it to end in a slightly less painful way #and the unknowable beings trapped outside who absolutely REFUSE to let that happen #god those eldritch fish were trying their hardest but just couldn't get in #yn was trapped inside while they were trapped outside and I just #I am EXPLODING the more I think about it #thinking about when they thought they were drowning and tried to breathe again #wanting to die but still having that instinct to survive #asking to be ripped apart but still cherishing their last breath of air #I'm shaking you I'm shaking you I'm dying on the floor #ough. #I'll never mentally recover from this and I want you to know I genuinely get inspired by your writing #this has been midnight crow ramblings. I just hit the tag limit. have a lovely night.

[mumblesplash]

my favorite thing about comics specifically is how much it checks your ego if you think you know how to draw characters. like i’m pretty sure people who don’t do comics assume the hard part would be how *many* drawings are involved in making a comic, and sure that’s part of it, but i think the real challenge is having to accept you’re not as good at drawing characters as you think you are. being able to depict a convincing character, a dynamic pose, or even an expressive face out of context as opposed to within a narrative is such a different skill set in ways i don’t think a lot of people realize

#mumbling #i can only assume animating dials this up even further #i think a good example of what i’m talking about here would be like. how many angles can you draw a face at #bc if you primarily do single page illustrations you genuinely don’t *need* to know how to do that many #like there are not many compositions where being able to draw a worm’s eye view of a human face is necessary #hell you could probably get away with nothing but 3/4ths view and front view if your focus isn’t on pose work #but with comics there’s a lot more elements to account for and weird angles are going to come up more often #and then in animation like. ideally you’re able to do a full character turnaround before you even attempt it

[wlwdisasterr]

one of my favourite things about campaign 3 is the hostility between chetney and imogen laura and travis really said we've been graph paper lovers, now it's time to upgrade...reluctant allies

#critical role #laura bailey #cr3 #travis willingham #reluctant allies is a stretch but it reminds me of every single friendship i've ever had with a guy ever #in the “i'm not in the least bit convinced you're a funnctional human being but morals wise you're half-decent so i'll tolerate you ig” #<- this is referring to imogen and chet #i'm not speculating abt real people cause i do not want to #please don't take me seriously

[homochadensistm]

man ur so right about westoids treating the arabs like children. Right wing evengelical christians here are mostly from very poor, deeply uneducated communities but westoids roundly condemn them (as everyone should) and expect them to know better; but radicalized arabs also want to kill jews amd gay people and minorities and all of sudden we need to "understand" why they are savages.

#israel #palestine #not a single westoid hamas fangirl views arabs as equal human beings #and im willing to bet my jew gold on that

[uter-us]

radfem question!!

i'm having a conversation with someone about female only spaces (this specifically pertains to bathrooms) and they said that the rule of having female-only bathrooms would "act more like an enforcement of femininity more than anything else."

I think their point is about butch lesbians and/or women who present "masculinely," and so because there is ofc no female identification at the door, and policy would likely just make it more acceptable for women and girls to report if there was a male in the bathroom (without having to determine if the male identifies as a woman), this could end up hurting "masculine"-presenting women (implying that they could be mistaken as male), and in turn just reinforce femininity. Thoughts? (mine are in tags)

#I understand that this has happened a few times before actually. i think my main point would just be that dressing masculinely does not #actually make you look male and like its evolutionarily advantageous for humans to be able to spot the opposite vs same sex #and so this i dont believe is going to be a huge problem based off of mistakenly seeing female ppl as male HOWEVER #because (from my very limited knowledge) it seems that the few times it has happened it has been lesbophobia #could this be a tool to enforce femininity on females? my last point is just that ofc ideally (imo) many single-stall bathrooms with like #complete complete privacy is ideal but also financially that is very hard to impliment and is not practical. but also! kathleen stock spoke #abt how TRAs cant simultaneously claim that TW being able to use the womens bathroom is so important and also not think its important enoug #to shell out money on?? so maybe the financial practicality COULD be possible?? but also maybe not idk.! im just curious what yall think #thanks!! #radfem #radblr #radical feminism #gender critical #radical feminists do interact #terfblr #rad fem #gender criticism #terfsafe #questions tag

[shivroy]

1) how tall is hibs 2) is he single

1) 6'6'' 2) unquestionably yes

#hes taller than tom. to the distress of all #about an inch shorter than greg which is all greg has to hold onto #thats his only leverage #art #succession #hibernian #the nation #he is so deeply single i think hes just too weird to have any success with like. a human being #therefore: HES AVAILABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #drinking #ask to tag #thank you for this ask you are important to me

[uncanny-tranny]

Love (sarcasm) when people go, "we should normalize fatphobia LOL 🥺". Fatphobia is the norm, you just don't like that fatphobia has the possibility of people realizing that you aren't as decent or well-rounded of a person as others might have thought before. If it's such a problem that people don't like you for your disgust and hatred of others, then your only options are to either accept that or, better, work on your biases. That isn't the fault of others, and it's certainly not other people's responsibility to coddle your hang-ups with other people's existences.

#politics #fatphobia #fatphobia tw #'we should normalize thinness and fatphobia 🥺🥺' babygirl thinness and fatphobia are SO normalized it's KILLED people before... #...so i'm really not buying that these people's problems are that SOME PEOPLE don't like fatphobia #how long will it take for this post to inevitably get fatphobia because OBVIOUSLY fat people are so inhuman... #...that you can ONLY care about fat people if you're also fat. y'all truly tell on yourselves. perchance. #like every single time i talk about these issues i'm ~accused~ of being fat and... #...quite frankly i think it's because y'all genuinely do /not/ see fat people as human. lol. lmao. it's actually sickening honestly #you aren't special for being fatphobic. you're just another fatphobe. like the rest of 'em

[twistedsickopath]

okay but a thing i think about every time we have one of those few day periods where the weather is not fit for even a dog being outside is how the hell are homeless people surviving this. like i said in a previous post it's currently -40 degrees with the windchill and i honestly cannot imagine how someone who does not have a place to go inside and spend the night is supposed to not freeze to death. it makes me upset every time the temperature drops like this, i cannot imagine how many homeless people will be frozen to death in the next 24 hours if they somehow haven't already. the fact that there are hundreds of empty houses sitting there empty with totally functional heating while people are DYING from the cold on a street corner makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY while at the same time my heart is breaking in pieces for them. rest in peace to every poor person who will not make it through the weekend. i am so sorry.

#psalms #free housing for everyone!!!! #free food free water free electricity free housing free healthcare for EVERYONE NOW! #basic necessities required for sirvival still being things we have to pay thousands for is a kind of evil that i cannot put into words #i hope with all my heart that every homeless person in montreal and around has a place to go to to stay warm today and tonight #and tomorrow too and basically until the weather gets warmer and fit for a human being to be outside in #shelters must be so fucking packed right now #and the thing is i know for a fact there will still be people who cannot go to them because they are at capacity #i will mourn every poor homeless person who has or will undoubtedly pass away from this cold front #my heart is breaking for them #if you are a person who does not have shelter right now i am so deeply sorry you are going through this #you are all in my thoughts and prayers and i love you #the worst part is there is absolutely nothing i can do about it and my heart is shattering at the thought #people will die from this #people have already died from this i am absolutely certain #and there is not a single thing i can do other than grieve

[ganondoodle]

i kept trying to draw anything, literally anything but i feel like the little package of skill i have build myself just fell and scattered across the floor, anytime i try to grab ahold of a piece of it it slips through my fingers like wet soap

on days like these i wish i had been smart enough to be anything else but a mediocre artist, but im not, im not even smart enough to be decent at the only thing i call myself to be able to do, im never going to be able to draw like i want to and i struggle to make peace with it

#ganondoodles talks #i hate hate hate feeling like this #this ... utterly helpless worthlessness #the world is shit and turnign shittier by the second and i cant even find refuge in the one thing i can do #i know i know dont trust what you are feeling after 9 pm bla bla #i have had ups an downs but this far i havent fallen in a long time #i am nothing without art #and i cant even do that #however much it doesnt matter anyway #i feel like i am mentally starving #i know this feeling will pass #but i still feel it right now #i feel like im being ungrateful towards the many people that have answered my previous post too bc i couldnt even do a single silly little- #-thing #i cant even put into words what it feels like #overstimulated brain explode egotistical feeling of worthlessness in a world that doesnt care about human life or creativity #meaningless #im going to bed and will be embarrassed about this when i wake up #but it still feels so very real right now #wasting time and tears