#16! chuuya x reader

[zumek0]

draft 03; nakahara, c.

↪︎ angst, heavy stormbringer spoilers, stormbringer references, mentions of death, gore?, a little bit of body horror, panic attack.

↪︎ 1.1k words.

↝ “…you hold him. because that's the only thing you can do for him when he's in this state. so you keep holding him as he screams.”

whenever someone meets him for the first time, they usually have the same impression: an arrogant, crass, young man, who only got to where he is because of his strong ability. he was blessed with a fearsome gift that could end entire groups in an instant. after all—no one can escape gravity.

but nakahara chuuya is more than just an ability.

he is a man.

he is a friend.

he is a human.

or at least that is what he tells himself while staring at his reflection on his bathroom mirror, after waking up from a very particular nightmare he had from time to time. chuuya didn’t dream. at least not often. ever since fighting paul verlaine, he started dreaming every now and then. however his dreams weren’t the nonsensical kind that he heard most people had, no. his were memories.

some felt like distant lifetimes: going to school and playing tag with his classmates, helping his mother set the table, eating dinner with his parents, trying to climb a tree (and failing miserably) and getting hurt, his dad tending to his wound, watching his mother do her makeup, eating a popsicle underneath a tree.

common childhood memories.

except he didn’t recall living these events. he couldn’t have. because nakahara chuuya didn’t have a childhood. he was born in suribachi city at the hands of a team of scientists. arthur rimbaud freed him from the glass cylinder he was contained in. there was no way he had ever lived those memories.

but those dreams were pleasant, even when they served as a reminder of the normalcy that he would never have in his existence.

his nightmares, however, were a whole different story. there were nights where he would wake up disoriented, the feeling of electric currents flowing through his body as vivid as ever. he could feel his skin burning, almost as if he had been skinned alive and his nerves were exposed bare.

other nights he would wake up and couldn’t help but cry. he would cry for hours until either his body exhausted itself or the sun rised. on days like those no matter how hard he tried, he could not get rid of the smell of blood he felt when he entered the pool hall, the feeling of albatross’s hand going limp between his, the splat of lipmann’s body after it hit the floor, the image of what was left of doc’s body, the expression iceman had on his face.

he felt like his senses weren’t there with him, almost feeling as if they were in a different reality than his body.

“This isn’t a present. This is a flag. Ever since the days of Ancient Rome, there has only been a reason to raise a flag: to tell people, ‘We are here, and we are the chosen ones.’” it was lippmann’s voice.

chuuya tried to open his eyes but couldn’t. shut up.

“If any one of the six of us is ever in trouble, you remember that flag and gather under it.”

chuuya realized that he couldn’t open his eyes because they were already open. everything was dark. please shut up.

“We’re counting on you.”

he looks down. he’s in a street, no, a road. in front of his is a blond man wearing a familiar hat. the man was smiling: a different kind of smirk twisted his lips like a black flower blooming—a most unpleasant smile.

the trunk of the car opens. something falls out of it and hits the floor with a sound.

chuuya doesn’t look. he can’t. he recognizes the sound—the sound of a body hitting the floor. of course he recognizes it. it plays in his head over, and over, and over again. chuuya doesn’t look.

“We’re counting on you.”

it was lippmann’s voice.

but it sounds wrong. it sounds strained, almost drowned. it sounds dead.

chuuya looks. he wishes he hadn’t.

he sees lippmann's body in a state that can only be described as destroyed. his bones are crushed, his skin is rotten, worms are crawling out of a hole in his throat, a piece of his skull is missing.

and chuuya tries to scream, just like he did when he first lived it, except nothing comes out. he can't hear anything. he can't feel anything. tears start welling up in his eyes and that's when he wakes up.

you toss and turn restlessly on your bed. even when covered by the thick duvet, you felt strangely cold. you extend your arm, patting the bed next to you, but open your eyes when you feel nothing beside you. you sit up on the bed and scan the room with your eyes.

you get up and cringe a little when your bare feet touch the cold marble floor. you head for the living room, as he usually stayed up reading whenever he couldn't sleep. you hear shallow breathing. you stop.

"baby?" it's coming from the bathroom. you approach it and carefully open the door. "chuu?" your voice sounds clearer now, and your senses become more alert.

as you enter the bathroom your eyes move around and land on a silhouette on the floor.

he is holding his hands over his throat. he can't breathe. his eyes are lost. you kneel in front of him and take his face in your hands to turn it to look at you. he can see your lips moving but he doesn't hear anything. he feels like he's dying. please knock me out.

"what's wrong, baby? what happened?" your voice comes out desperate. think rationally—you tell yourself and back away. his pupils are constricted, his eye movements are erratic, he's sweating and he clearly can't breathe.

you call his name but he doesn't respond, so you grab his face again and caress his cheek with your thumb. he looks at you. he sees your lips moving again. there's ringing in his ears but he can feel your gentle touch on his face. slowly, he starts to make out the words that come out of your mouth. it's his name. over and over again. one of his hands moves to grab your wrist, the other one falls to grab onto his thigh.

"chuuya. scream." your face is serious but your voice sounds tender.

"wha-"

"you need to scream. do it, chuuya. scream. please."

he opens his mouth and tries again. he can hear it this time, so he keeps doing it. he continues to scream until his throat feels raw and burning. he starts crying as well at some point. you bring his face to your chest and rest your chin above his head. his arms wrap around you.

you hold him. because that's the only thing you can do for him when he's in this state. so you keep holding him as he screams. and even when he's quieted down and sunrise covers yokohama in a pinkish-orange tint, you remain in the same position: holding him.

i have a really important test tomorrow, and i haven’t studied a thing. med school is really kicking my ass :')

i've been sick and miserable for the past few days, so i re-read stormbringer. the lippmann scene hits me hard every time. i'm not really sure who the artist of the fanart i used is, so if anyone knows, let me know so i can credit them.

—han.

#땡땡! han’s works #chuuya x reader #chuuya angst #chuuya x y/n #chuuya nakahara x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #chuuya x you #stormbringer chuuya #stormbringer x reader #15!chuuya #stormbringer chuuya x reader #15 chuuya x reader #16! chuuya x reader #the flags #16 chuuya x reader #the flags bsd #bsd x you #the flags strormbringer #the flags x reader #chuuya and the flags #bsd imagines #chuuya x fem!reader #chuuya x male reader #chuuya x gn reader

[chocsra]

✧ STORMBRINGER CHUUYA AS YOUR GUY BSF IS ....

✧ w/c: 588 ✧ content: drabbles & headcanons of cute things with stormbringer! chuuya

☆ a shocked yet distasteful groan pulling from his throat when you show him a picture of a celebrity you find cute, grumbling about how your taste in men sucks ass. you didn't think he was jealous, just shocked at the creature he was looking at. though sometimes, you barely graze the envy on his face when you actually interact with another boy; especially if he's your type, because chuuya knows. still, he brushes your friendly smile with stupidity—because the dude you're talking with 'isn't even all that.'

☆ like having an annoyed caretaker, always keeping an eye out for you, rebuking your recklessness. just appalled that you have this much carelessness for your life on a day to day basis. but even though he'd scold you gently for anything stupid or clumsy you pull, you'd always find a gloved hand reaching out to you, providing support. either when you've stumbled, or you're about to jump off a ledge from even the smallest of heights.

☆ falling face first into the ground whilst trying to fight off one of the port mafia's powerful enemies because your shoelaces were untied. humilated, you found yourself sitting on a bench as chuuya unashamedly scolds you for your rookie mistake. knelt down as he still ties your shoes. "do you double knot your laces?" he'll ask, if you already said yes, the boy would finish one shoe with a tight squeeze, before gently patting your ankle to lace the other one, "well you better start triple knottin' em!"

☆ late night calls about the silliest things. chuuya would have his camera on in his pajamas, either mindlessly fiddling with his guitar, doing some chores, or cooking simply out of boredom. he'd rant about his day, the jewel marketing circulation, this crazy fuck named 'dazai', how much he admires his superior—kouyou, and his friends which call themselves 'the flags'. in return, you can tell him all the school gossip you've picked up on, new music you caught onto, your rants in your notes app.

☆ exchanging knowing side glances at each other when someone's being annoying or a dumb fuck. it's the kind of look two sassy girls would stare at each other with a secret disdain for the person in front of them.

☆ chuuya keeping a hair tie on his wrist for you and him only. at first, it was extra incase he lost his own hair tie, but soon, if you ever needed one, he always keeps extra on his wrist so you wouldn't have messy hair flying everywhere.

☆ taking unwanted photos of chuuya while he chases after you to delete them. sometimes, it'd be mid sneeze or the boy yawning carelessly. he definitely cares once you've did a close up shot where he looks like the epitome of a ginger leprechaun. he'd (try to) snatch your phone and now gives you the stinkiest side eye when you even try to point your phone at him.

☆ unconsciously resting an arm behind your shoulders when you're both sitting side by side. for chuuya, it provides a comforting stretch for his arms, and it feels safer knowing that he can just manuver you if there was ever an unexpected attack. for you, the fact that he just does it so casually makes you a nervous wreck.

☆ believing wholeheartedly that he's human. afterall, you wouldn't feel this much adoration for a code of strings, no? you always internally chide him if he thinks otherwise, but as friends, you thought it's better to give him a comforting pat on the back.

✧ chocsra™

#chocsra #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd x reader #chuuya x reader #15 chuuya #sb chuuya #stormbringer #stormbringer bsd #stormbringer chuuya #stormbringer chuuya x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #chuuya x you #chuuya x yn #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya headcanons #chuuya x reader hcs #chuuya hcs #stormbringer chuuya hcs #16 chuuya headcanons #chuuya nakahara hcs

[jackiepackiee]

Hihihi omg... is it alright if I request headcanons (can be romantic or platonic, I don't mind) for Stormbringer!Chuuya with a female or gender neutral reader? 16!Chuuya is so underrated and I just wanna hold him and comfort him owueuajjhsjdha but please remember to take your time with this request :) ❤ I love your writing! <3

I would die for stormbringer Chuuya

𝟣𝟨!𝒮𝐵!𝒞𝒽𝓊𝓊𝓎𝒶 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 - 𝓃𝑜𝓅𝑒

𝒯𝓎𝓅𝑒 - 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈

@silverbladexyz request

Gonna start by saying this is before the events of stormbringer so the flags aren’t dead (I can’t handle it 😭)

He has so much love to give

The type to not really know if there is love in this world, but he’s sure there is because he has so much in his heart to give

And that’s for you!

He’s still a teenage boy, sometimes nervous

You are definitely his first kiss, first love, first everything

And because of this, he holds you on a pedestal above everyone

Shy compliments, only really being bold when he’s ditzy on some foreign wine

Gentle kisses, he is absolutely terrified of harming you

Will brush your hair, kiss your cheek, clip your nails, then cuddle you

Arms wrapped so softly, but it’s still such a strong hold

This strength is great for danger

“Wear what you want, I can fight”

If anyone ever seriously bothered you, he’ll comfort you first and take care of them second

His loyalty is unmatched

Not “sorry, I have a girl.” It’s “No. I have a girl, go away.”

But that harshness melts away the second he sees you. After losing so much, he likes to have you in his sights

He trust all of the flags to care for you

Knowing his friends would never cause you harm in the slightest way

Speaking of, it was most likely Albatross that pushed him to confess.

Over a bet on pool, loser had to listen to the winner. The flags, being wingmen, made Chuuya finally confess.

He had no excuse not to, he was already head over heels

You aren’t a bet, mind you. It’s simply it was the push he needed to do what he was planning for what felt like forever

Assuming you met in the port mafia, he won’t talk much on his past

His new past, the sheep. He likes to stay quiet.

He will never admit it, but because you’re around the same age as the sheep members he sometimes feels as if you’ll leave in betrayal

The best way to comfort him is taking out his little ponytail and playing with his hair

And his… earlier past. Not even he knows the full truth. It’s unlikely he’ll tell you much for many reasons

One, he doesn’t wanna scare you away. Two, he’s scared you’ll think he isn’t human too. Three, he wants you safe and uninvolved. And four, it’s hard to talk about for him

But, of course you do find out. He was terrified for your reaction

So when you said you loved him all the same, he couldn’t just about died. Swearing he saw an angel

That is the first time you see him cry. The stress, fear, confusion, dehumanization. It’s too much, he breaks

You take him in your arms and pet his hair like you always do. A gentle kiss and reassurance works wonders for him.

On a lighter note… GET A PUPPY

Mention you’re the mom and he’s the dad, he’ll melt like ice in the sun

A big dog definitely, something that could probably jump over the two of you.

At 16 he runs the gemstone black market for the port mafia, so expect the most expensive jewels on your neck and wrists.

Anniversary, birthday, holiday, or just a random weekday. Doesn’t matter

Only a year in the port mafia and he’s already rich, so what’s it to him?

Over all, he’s never been in love before. Be gentle and honest. He doesn’t need much, just you.

#chuuya stormbringer #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya #16!chuuya #bungou stray dogs stormbringer #bsd stormbringer #stormbringer x reader

[still-fatemeh]

...Passion Is the Gale.

16! Stormbringer chuuya x reader

(I gave the reader a name because I hate writing y/n but ya'll can read it as your own name. Note for the uncultured people, Takako was the poet's wife. I thought since Nobuko Sasaki was the name of kunikida's lover both in real life and in the Osamu dazai's entrance exam (kinda), I could do the same thing with chuuya.)

"You're sooo tiny, chuuya..."

"huh?"

If she wasn't shit-faced at the moment, he would've thrown her out the window like yeeting a fucking piece of trash outside.

Takako came closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. His nervous system went haywire, blood rushing to his face as she looked up at him through her lashes. How could he forgive her so easily in the blink of an eye when not even a minute ago he was planning to toss her out the window? Heh, weird...

God, it hurt. His head felt dizzy, eyes unable to focus. Maybe he'd gulped down more champagne than he could possibly handle. His surroundings were blurring, his grip on reality was starting to crumble. He was about to faint. Interesting... But he couldn't feel the buzz of alcohol quite yet, the sweet feeling of release, the same one that filled his head with momentary peacefulness and a feeling of happiness. He was at ease.

But now, at the moment, he wasn't. His mouth was dry, it tasted like blood... He felt like times when dazai was wasted, when that guy drank, he couldn't escape his thoughts, he couldn't bask in the same sense of satisfaction and ease as the rest of them. Dazai, with whiskey, further drowned in his own agony, his thoughts were leeches, sucking the will to live out of him. Like a wounded animal choking on its own blood. No, maybe that wasn't dazai...

That was him.

He felt takako's lips pressing against his skin, soft and gentle unlike every other touch he's known. He could feel her shifting on his lap, giggling. God, she was perfect like that... And he had her all to himself. Ane-san was right. Maybe... Just maybe... He could maybe spend the rest of his life drunk on her affection. And she was willing to give it all to him, after all she had no one else to cherish. This was the only way this girl ever got affection. So she kept him around like a precious doll she could love...

Her mouth reeked of alcohol, her breath felt hot against his face. Takako was right there, she was looking at him, she was kissing him, she was right there...

SHE WAS RIGHT THERE...

Chuuya was feeling more human and hooked on his flesh. It wasn't wrong, right? That felt raw, human... when he pressed her down on the couch, having her lay on her back with him on top. Her cheeks were rosy and it was as if she'd just remembered to act all shy and embarrassed. She kept glancing away from him, unable to hold his gaze but she was all he could look at. Her hair was splayed out on the couch like a masterpiece from the greatest of the great artists.

He reassured.

What he did... felt strange, but right. It wasn't wrong to act on his instincts, was it?

She laughed... takako would laugh at him for thinking like that, probably asking him "what 'bout that felt wrong?"

and he'd answer: "Me. I don't know what possessed me to do that..."

"Ha! What? that was amazing~ oof, really... Fucking amazing..."

She was right, it was amazing. *She* was amazing.

"Shhh, not another word. What's with the sudden change of heart? You wanted to have lit candles and stuff for your first time? How about roses? We can make like that next time, if you're still interested..."

He could almost see her clearly, hear her talk, tease him, ramble, curse... Oh God, his eyes were playing tricks on him.

His vision swam.

Takako was asleep... but her chest wasn't moving up and down. She was laying flat on her stomach, her arm loosely hanging over the edge of the bed, almost touching the ground. Black hair splayed out as beautifully as ever and... there was peace in her expression.

Her room didn't get as messed up as The Old World after verlaine's visit. She wasn't dismembered or brutally murdered. He wished she wasn't. He couldn't imagine the thought of...

She'd put up quite the fight, apparently. Face bruised, and when he lifted the blanket that was so carefully brought all the way up to her neck, he felt his stomach churn in disgust.

Takako's leg was missing from the knee down. The sheets were red, bloody red. He looked down at his bloodsoaked gloves for a moment, before lifting her shirt.

He took a step back.

It was no pleasant sight, but in all honesty, he'd seen worse... But this was takako, SHE was the one whose skin was peeled off like peeling an orange.

"Chuuya-sama, are you well? You don't seem to be in a very good mental state, I'll figure out a way to cheer you-"

Adam was interrupted by the sound of someone puking.

Chuuya knelt down to catch his breath.

Goddammit... Why did he feel like crying like a little kid? He didn't even when the flags died, but when even his so called 'family', The Sheep, betrayed him. Not when he betrayed them.

He'd failed to protect her, he'd failed to protect them all. Adam rushed to his side but he pushed the european detective aside.

He got the massage and didn't step forward.

Chuuya wiped the corner of his mouth, looking at the vomit on the ground that was mixed with blood. What a nasty combination...

One last look at her face, and he was done.

Takako was dead.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chūya #bsd chūya #chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bsd fic #bsd fanfic #bsd stormbringer #stormbringer #stormbringer chuuya #16 chuuya

[ezelium]

PRIDE : Nakahara Chuuya - 16.

angst , suicide, hurt no comfort , x reader drabble .

a/n : do not write shit in a sitting y'all 🙏

there, all gone. everything he cherished, everything he was grateful to have in his arms, gone. it didn't slip, he dropped it. he did it.

"Chuuya, if you're reading this, I firstly want to say thank you for your time. For reading this, and all the times we've spent together. You've truly been a close friend to me. ..."

his eyes are not daring to move any further. he physically couldn't. a letter. a note. his best friend's suicide letter. it felt heavy in his hands. its paper, it felt heavy. its his heart, it felt heavy. his thoughts were all over the place — he couldn't believe it. his mind wasn't even registering his own emotions, they felt blank. he felt numb. this wasn't an unfamiliar feeling, quite the contrary, it was familiar and known. but why did it hurt worse this time?

was it wrong to think it's his fault? in his mind, it quite frankly was his fault this time. the fight a few nights prior wasn't helping him. for the last month, he had been neglectful to you. you didn't have the heart to tell him how it was also your lowest this year, you didn't want to bother him with your troubles. but there were clear warning signs from before, for example, how you dismissed his concern while normally you wouldn't. how didn't he notice? you were helping him out in his lowest, yet the one you hold so closely wasn't doing the same to you.

the letter is long, and written by hand. it's about appreciating all the times you've spent together, some philosophy, and some thoughts about the future. something you wouldn't be a part of even though he wished you would be. chuuya had always thought of you and him with a better future than ever, more happy, with more of a social circle maybe.

" ... Finally. If you're reading this, I'm dead. Even if you hate me — or don't — I've always loved and appreciated you. I have believed in your humanity, Chuuya, and you'll keep being human to me in every way possible. My wish is for you to be happy. A thousand yesterdays have passed with me, and a thousand more will come your way without me. But it'll all be the same, trust me."

Goodbye. — [Name] [Surname]."

at last, he wanted to believe your words if he couldn't believe his own. he wanted to believe this was some sort of sick joke, that you would pop up from somewhere and tell him it's a prank. or the last resort, to believe everything would be the same. it wasn't ever going to be same, ever again.

his friends dying wasn't a new case to him, but you were a different case. he actually felt empty. hollow. numb. nothing else.

a/n² : i wanted to write something like heavy angst but this is all that came out sorry..ry.y.. anyway goodnight i have no idea what im writing rn its 3 in the morning

©ezelium 2024⭑i do not consent for people to plagiarize, repost, or translate my works.

#⟡ ☕ ─ archive #bsd #bsd fanfic #chuuya bsd #chuuya angst #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #stormbringer x reader #drabble #16 chuuya x reader

[silverbladexyz]

Blue Skies, Tainted Sorrow

TW: Mentions of death. Stormbringer spoilers below!

The Yokohama sky was an exceptionally sorrowful blue.

Normally, the colour blue was associated with stability and harmony, granting a sense of tranquil peace wherever it descended. Favoured in the eyes of many, outshining numerous other shades- with such positive attributes, it was almost laughable, really, how it was also the epitome of sorrow.

But on this particular day, sorrow was the perfect reflection of the sky.

Chuuya sat, unmoving, on a particular protrusion of the building; his vacant eyes staring at the endless expansion of blue stretched out above him.

Calls that were sent to him were left unanswered on his phone, whether it was from you or from the supercomputer Adam that was assisting Chuuya in this case.

You understood your friend all too well to know what he was thinking.

"The hell is he doing?"

Shirase's impatient voice cut through the silence, and you turned your gaze towards him, glaring slightly. Despite all his proclamations about being the future 'King' of the disbanded organisation called the Sheep, he couldn't read the room to save his life, and was a coward in times of true danger. Talk about being a king of foolishness instead.

"I imagine he doesn't want to talk to anybody right now," Adam replied, as he looked up at the motionless teenager. You frowned slightly, glancing back towards the figure sitting on the building. Even though the latter could put on such a convincing act that could fool Dazai himself, anybody could tell that Chuuya was suffering in remorse and self-blame.

You didn't want him to suffer anymore.

"... Please excuse me."

Activating your ability, you teleported right to the same ledge that your friend was situated on, trying not to slip off the uneven surface.

If Chuuya heard you, he gave no sign of acknowledging your presence.

Taking a small breath, you tried to relax yourself as you slowly approached the teenager, speaking in a soft voice.

"... Hey. I just wanted to check up on you. You've been up here for a few hours, and I was starting to get worried."

There was no reply, but you waited patiently, not wanting to overstep his boundaries.

"... I'm fine. There's no need for you to concern yourself over me."

It was an usual curt answer that you'd expected to hear from him. You knew that he was like this because he wanted to solely shoulder the guilt of their deaths on his shoulders.

But you weren't going to let him go this easily.

"... This is about the detective, isn't it? And the Flags, as well-"

Before you could finish your sentence, Chuuya had already shot up and faced you, gritting his teeth as he glared silently. You only stared back at him calmly.

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"..." He stared off in another direction for a while, before his gaze returned to you again. But instead of anger, there was only a vacant emptiness in his eyes.

"The Flags and Detective-san all died because of me. I'm the one responsible for their deaths. And I have to be the one to stop Verlaine so that there won't be anyone else who end up with the same fate as them."

You stared at him silently, before opening your mouth to speak.

"'You're the one responsible for their deaths'... is that truly all you believe in?"

Chuuya stiffened, and you continued before he could get a chance to rebut.

"You were not the one who murdered them. Verlaine did, in order to 'set you free'. But he doesn't want to force you to come with him, because it'd be going against your own freedom of choice. Instead... he wants you to blame yourself for their deaths. To feel guilty about those lives that he cut away. And make you approach him of your own accord, so that-"

"But Verlaine killed them because he knew I wouldn't leave the Mafia. Even if I wasn't the one who performed the physical act, I'm still the sole reason why they're dead! Can't you see? None of this would have happened if I had just gone with him that time."

The sorrow was evident within him, even as he resorted to his usual angry façade.

"... It is agony. I feel it too. But," you tentatively placed a hand on Chuuya's shoulder, feeling his muscles tense up underneath your touch.

"Just as Mori-san had said, the dead feel no emotion. Things such as revenge and guilt are for the living. However, blaming yourself for their deaths is going to get you nowhere. It hurts, but it is only through this hurt that you can remember who you are fighting for. And please remember that you are not alone. I'll be here for you, and you can rely on me whenever you need me."

"..." Chuuya looked down towards the ground, his body starting to turn away, but you weren't finished yet.

His eyes widened as he felt your arms encircling around him.

Chuuya's instant reflex was to flinch and back away, but you merely tightened your hold on him. His hands lay by his side, but your warmth encouraged him to relax into the hug. It was slightly awkward, as the two of you weren't too well-versed in platonic affections, but that didn't matter in this moment.

"I know that it's been hard for you. I know that it isn't easy to keep on fighting when you have struggles of your own. But I just wanted to tell you... that you'll always be a human in my eyes. And that will never change."

The silence that followed was deafening- and with that, you felt a twinge of panic in you.

Did you happen to say something that upset him? You always knew how Chuuya felt about his humanity, but you never knew how he would react if someone believed that he was human. Your grip around him started to loosen slightly.

Only for two strong arms to hug you back, alongside a face being buried into your shoulder.

It was the first time you ever felt him smile.

Hopefully this did justice to Stormbringer!Chuuya ❣

@circinuus @riiwrites @sariel626 @ruanais @kolyakisses @chocsra @oldworldpoolhall @chunshiya @yuugen-benni

#silverbladexyz #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #chuuya x reader #stormbringer x reader #16!chuuya x reader #stormbringer chuuya x reader #bsd platonic #bsd x reader platonic #platonic bsd x reader #stormbringer chuuya #chuuya stormbringer #stormbringer spoilers #bsd stormbringer #I just wanted to give him a hug #and comfort him #poor boy needs it so bad #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd x female reader #bsd x male reader

[grantorsofdarkdisgracee]

Sub or dom? Maybe a bit of both..?

Haah? Isn't it a bit early to ask stuff like that?I'm both, I suppose.

#bsd rp #bsd roleplay #bsd chuuya #bsd x reader #bsd x you #chuuya asks #r.16

[whispereons]

Masterlist!

I'm Whispereons and I mainly write yandere Genshin Impact fics. The SAGAU is my long time obsession if it wasn't obvious.

For ease of convenience I will have this masterlist pinned with my works, taglist, and tags used on my blog.

Currently I don't have any rules to abide by. I enjoyed all the comments, reblogs, asks and submissions I received thus far!

Just a warning for anyone new, I advise you to make sure your blog has some form of personalization. Like a profile pic, a sentence saying hello in your bio or even just a single post saying you're human will do. It's to prevent you from getting the report and block combo when I do my spam/porn bot purges.

SAGAU works

Oracle!Reader - with my current editor @serpent-benediction (hopefully) fixing up the older chapters.

Followers Special: 1K

Inazuma:

City - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 Sea - Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Liyue:

City - Part 9, Part 10, Wilderness - Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18 City V2 - Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24

(Don't judge my old works too harshly, I really was new at writing!)

Self-aware Genshin Impact Series (incomplete): Warmth, Screen, Team Player, Over This Shit

Oneshots - Another Drink, It's tough to be a God

Normal Yandere Genshin Impact:

Venti/Barbatoes x EOS!Reader: Planned, Protection or Possession?, Control

Tags to use to navigate my posts!

#whisp's amateur work - all of my writing

#sagau oracle au - everything related to my oracle!reader (was implemented late so the first tag is more reliable)

#a whispered response - me answering asks/submissions

#whisp's collection - my personal collection of my fav authors, artists, and anything else. My mindless reblogs aren't tagged with anything to avoid cluttering the tag system.

#peering into the whisp - if I get personal asks, this is the tag I would use

If you regularly sends asks with some way to identify you then I usually give you a tag too.

My taglist for my Oracle!Reader:

If you are in italics, that means I couldn't tag you! That could be due to you being shadow banned or having your settings set to hide you from being searched. I will keep this master list updated with each new user, I truly don't mind tagging you all. It's honestly a nice feeling.

@vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl, @bebobeboben, @yuyuzi-ling, @amidst-the-tempest, @resident-cryptid, @mxd1zzy, @mochicurls21, @nervouseaglelover, @thedevioussmirk, @yumuramma, @kwqsla, @undecidingfate, @ehjane, @game-savvy, @akiramirae, @liansh3ng, @fluffy-koalala, @formacoon, @sxftiebee, @khxii-i, @ursinaw, @chuuya-brainrot, @sweetbills, @kazuchaos, @snowfoxnix, @bluebelony, @shellofthewell, @pencil-of-ashes, @ghostlyintervention, @taiformaifoe, @goaudduck, @carminerin, @maddysflowers, @zenith-of-all-zenith, @crazydreamcat, @leafanonsforest, @grimreapersscythe, @leylanx, @sapphireknown, @help-whatdoimakemyusername

@zhonglisfruityass, @mer0n37, @victoria1676, @mochinessss, @sinnful-darling, @emilymikado, @pix-stuff, @esthelily, @luxie963, @emmbny, @starsofabundance, @kbar1013, @xxblackroses623xx, @chxrlxtteee, @aludicpoet, @yandematic, @atrcclovsxoxo, @0lshadyl0, @esthelily, @t-rex-red, @ck123, @steadybreadbluebird, @118gremlin, @stratonia, @time-shardz, @farelady-fate, @valeriele3, @francisnyx, @byakuren100, @waveto-earth, @flyingpansaurus, @silverstarred, @iamapotatoe, @ghosthii, @beloveddroplet, @uchihaeirin, @ibelieveinsleep, @idk098, @thefirstonetoeverlikemeback, @toramune, @haaaaaades, @horologiumwise, @melovaaaa, @alittletiredcry, @aphxdea, @atsukawolfcat, @desirabletravel, @pinkpainc, @eccedentesiast-sapphic, @yuyuzi-ling, @hyperfixationwhore

@juuuuuj101010, @avalordream, @kurayamioterasu, @tottybear, @koiikuno, @lynx-of-skies, @quacking-simp, @synthe4u, @kascar-chronicle, @hug4helios, @hug4helios, @silverstarred, @koiikuno, @ithoughtthinks, @remiivx, @lemonade7255, @melpomenelurks, @average-yandere-enjoyer, @mnhao, @fuji-sen, @altumsomnum

#whisp's amateur work #a whispered response #sagau cult au #whisp's collection #peering into the whisp #official masterlist #For those wondering #The cat covering my blog is my dear Obsidian <3 #if he dies #I may actually drop Tumblr #but that's not going to happen as he's young and a housecat #he's living all 18 years estimated #and WOW I didn't expect to have so many liyue chapters #There's just so many people in Liyue that it makes it long #How do ya'll read my stuff??? lol

[osaemu]

・𖠗 EMAILS I CAN'T SEND EVENT !

with songs featuring gojo, geto, dazai, chuuya, and childe !

BEFORE YOU LISTEN . . .

careful, there's gonna be some pretty mature themes headin' in . . . sex, cheating, overthinking, y'know, the usual. it's hard being hot !

WHAT'S THE ALBUM ABOUT ?

well, i heard some guys from jujutsu kaisen, bungo stray dogs, and genshin impact are involved in the drama, maybe you know them !

TRACK 9: NONSENSE "baby i'm in too deep, here's a lil' song i wrote, it's about you and me"

꒰ pop star!reader x secret lover!gojo

being a pop star is tough, and maintaining a relationship alongside it is even harder. good thing you have a boyfriend to share the nights with, but what happens when those night-time specials start seeping into your daytime routine?

TRACK 10: FAST TIMES "tiptoeing past so many stages, but what the fuck is patience?"

꒰ coworkers with benefits ft. pm boss!chuuya

being a mafia boss is hard, and the stress that comes with it could kill. so, your boss's solution is to take it out on his pretty little secretary — you. one thing leads to another, and soon it becomes a regular thing. it's okay, it's not like he's gonna fuck you during work hours, right?

TRACK 11: SKINNY DIPPING "if we could take it all off and just exist, and skinny dip in water under the bridge"

꒰ break up –> make up ft. criminal!geto

when you found out he wasn't who he said he was, you dumped him on the spot, and after that you didn't see him for nineteen days. so what happens on the twentieth day when you run into him at your local coffee shop, and how did it end with his dick in your mouth?

TRACK 13: DECODE "you're good at impersonating someone who cares, and you had me for a minute there"

꒰ actor!reader x actor!dazai

your co-star is known for his acting prowess, and maybe he's just a little too good, because even when the lights are down and no cameras in sight, you can never seem to figure out if he means what he says. even when he's drunk in your sheets, every word seems carefully calculated to get something out of you — who knows what he wants?

TRACK 15: FEATHER "your signals are mixed, you act like a bitch, you fit every stereotype, send a pic"

꒰ it girl!reader x fuckboy!gojo

you're everything, and he's just another fuckboy. but even though he's the biggest dickhead you've ever met, you can't deny that he's very, very attractive. so what happens when you have one too many drinks and end up moaning his name all night long?

TRACK 16: LONESOME "did you think about her face with your hands around my waist? did you even give a fuck?"

꒰ exes with benefits ft. fuckboy!childe

you probably shouldn't still sleep with the boy who ruined your life, but hey, he's the only one who knows how to fuck you just right. even if he made you cry for a week straight, you'd rather be crying out his name than wallowing in self-pity at home. and it's not like you're gonna get back together with him, are you?

TRACK 17: THINGS I WISH YOU SAID "i saw you met somebody and i'm jealous as hell, that i can't even stomach loving somebody else"

꒰ cheating ft. ex boyfriend!dazai

maybe it's wrong to cheat on your current boyfriend with your ex, but you never moved on and apparently, neither did he. and shit, he's just as skillful with his words as ever, so just one night wouldn't hurt, right?

SO, WHEN CAN I HEAR THE STORIES ?

well, hannah'll tell you whenever she feels like it, but who knows what order she's whisper them to you in ? it'll be a surprise ~

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN THE STORY'S OUT ?

there's no taglist or anythin', but you can check back here to see if anything's leaked yet ! ++ maybe follow hannah and her tag, 'cause she said she'll post updates there . . . #✧ — emails i can't send

have fun listening! reblogs very appreciated xoxo –> signed, hannah

#✧ — docs #✧ — emails i can't send #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #childe x reader

[mitsies]

synopsis: chuuya nakahara has a little crush on you. to his misfortune, dazai catches on.

sfw 15 era!chuuya x reader but chuuya's a little bitch LMFAO, mega jealousy, falling in love, in dazai we trust, confessions, fluff!

chuuya nakahara didn't get jealous.

he likes to think of himself as cool, and easy-going, and even-tempered. he's not too sure as to why everyone around him disagrees- he thinks he's pretty reasonable.

yes, he gets mad sometimes, but doesn't everyone? and it's not like it's his fault that everyone around him is insufferable and incompetent.

he's only 16, but somehow more capable than most everyone else in the port mafia- this generalization, though, doesn't include you.

you're a year older than him, and probably the most competent and normal person he's met thus far. you're quick-witted and sharp, with a killer smile and a silver tongue. you're agile and a good fighter, and you're kind- a trait he's seen a horrifying lack of in his new field of business.

you're a member of the flags, a port mafia subgroup that chuuya had happened to become close with in his brief employment. the flags consisted of unsavory characters and unlikable men- you were an exception.

eventually, though, he found that you accompanied him on more missions than you did with your own group. and surprisingly, he didn't mind it all too much. in fact, he even appreciated your presence and input.

so while you were one of the few port mafia members he didn't deem completely inept, that didn't exclude the company you kept. namely: dazai osamu.

he's not too sure when or how you two became close, seeing as you, a subordinate, would have little business with the port mafia's boss' pupil- but you and dazai had recently been spotted in each others' company more frequently.

and chuuya hated it.

you were so nice, and intelligent, and a being far superior to the likes of dazai, who was horrid and cruel in every sense of the term. but chuuya nakahara wasn't jealous. no, he simply knew that you deserved better than dazai- you deserved better company, you deserved him.

you and chuuya spent time together on missions a few times a week, sure, but never anything outside of business, whereas you and dazai hung out on evenings and any free moments in the port mafia's lair.

he despised seeing you and dazai laughing in empty rooms, and he abhorred watching the both of you converse in the corners of gatherings. he thought he did a pretty good job of hiding it from you, though.

he'd never bring up dazai to you, and you didn't mention him often either. but you seemed so much more subdued around chuuya and it grated on him to think that you might be more comfortable around his rat-faced companion than him.

and speaking of dazai: chuuya could hide his not-jealousy from you, sure, but keeping it from the demon prodigy was a whole other story.

in fact, he didn't even have a chance of keeping it on the down low. dazai simply found out, just like that.

"oh my god," he had started out of nowhere. chuuya and dazai were walking to meet a car that was meant to take them home from their mission. he'd frozen in his steps and his eyes held a familiar glow- a shimmer of condescending amusement.

"you like her."

chuuya sputtered. "i do not, you ugly horse. i don't like y/n."

"who said anything about y/n?" dazai's grin grew tenfold and chuuya lacked the words to defend himself.

from then on, dazai had been a relentless tease about the situation. after he'd caught on to chuuya's crush, his jealousy-not-jealousy was easy to pick up on.

"careful with your staring," dazai had playfully chided at some point, sidling into the seat next to chuuya, "your eyes might fall out of your head."

chuuya scowled. "i wasn't staring."

"so you were just watching me and her talking. and making a gross face when i put a hand on her shoulder. i see."

if they weren't in the middle of a crowded meeting hall with a surplus of port mafia members, chuuya would strangle dazai. "i wasn't watching anything."

dazai smiles. "careful, chuuya. some people are going to start catching on, and envy isn't a good look on you-"

he's promptly cut off by chuuya slamming his fists on the table with fury written all over his face. "i am not-"

he stops himself. you're hurrying over to where the both of them are seated, glancing around furtively.

"chuuya, dazai," you all but scold, "how about you save that for later? maybe when a whole room of people aren't watching?"

dazai stands from his chair and feigns a sigh, flopping onto your shoulder. you laugh and it sounds like music and chuuya feels a vein pop in his forehead.

"my sincerest apologies," dazai bemoans, "it's just that the little one here seems to bring out the worst in me."

chuuya's clenching his jaw so hard that his teeth might grind themselves to ashes, and you playfully shove the taller boy off you. "play nice."

dazai sits back down and you take the empty seat next to him, and chuuya looks straight ahead as he listens to the two of you blabber on about some nonsense.

he's mad, he's really, really mad because he can't find it in himself to insert himself into the conversation and you look so happy talking to dazai. and really, who wouldn't be happy?

dazai was charming and charismatic, even if he was a piece of shit. he was humorous and actually kind of easy-going (looking past the murderous tendencies) in a way chuuya only claimed to be.

chuuya was angry, angry enough to admit yes, maybe he was a little jealous of dazai's closeness with you. but he had no idea what the hell to do.

chuuya can't decide if he's lucky or unlucky when the answer falls right into his lap.

it's a sunny day in january, something rare and unusual. chuuya's day has been pretty normal for a 16-year-old boy. so far, he's overseen 2 jewel trades and still had daylight to spare. he's unhurried as he wanders the hallways of the port mafia headquarters, looking for something to occupy him.

that's when he runs into you.

you're leaning against the wall of a common room, tapping away at your cell phone with your headphones on. they're sitting on your hair oddly, making the strands stick out in an awkward way. he bites the inside of his cheek, despising how the littlest things endeared you to him.

he calls your name, and you look up. a bright smile forms across your face. "hey chuuya."

"hey. not doing anything?"

you shake your head. "nope. i was about to leave, actually, to go grocery shopping. you?"

"i finished early today."

"ah. cool."

"yep."

chuuya hates how stale this conversation is. he knows he can do better but the way you look at him ties his tongue in knots and he can't seem to muster the words he wants to. he thinks that if he were dazai, it would be easy to get out what he wants to say. luckily for chuuya, though, you do it for him.

"if you're not busy," you say, "would you want to come with me? i can make you lunch back at my apartment, if you'd like."

chuuya smiles and it takes his whole being to not beam at you with all his teeth. "that sounds good."

the walk to the local grocery store is uneventful, but a constant chatter is exchanged. you talk and chuuya replies, and he feels the ice in his throat melting.

this, he realizes, is the first time he's been in your company outside of an assignment. he thinks he loves it.

you're quick to fill silences, and there's never a lull in the conversation. you laugh and smile and you seem so genuine that chuuya's heart is thundering in his chest whenever you do.

the grocery store itself is small and quaint, with windows lining the walls. sunlight filters in and stains your skin with its gold. it's peaceable, chuuya decides, the way you lead him around and gather products in your basket. it's lovely, he thinks, whenever you look at him. he could get used to this.

but chuuya is not a lucky man, it seems, because a very loud and very familiar voice cuts through whatever you were saying:

"oh, i didn't expect to see you both here, outside of work! chuuya, i'm impressed, you finally told y/n that you're hopelessly in love with her?"

chuuya freezes, staring straight ahead at the apple shelves. you straighten, wide eyes looking at him. dazai is grinning.

"you fucking piece of shit," chuuya snarls, whipping to face him.

dazai raises his hands in the air with a serene smile. "not in public, chuuya, please! think of the children!"

dazai grabs an apple from the stands and takes a bite. he turns to leave without paying. "i hope your relationship is wonderful and prosperous!"

chuuya stares at his shrinking figure, hoping that the other boy can feel his gaze burning through his back. his endeavors are only interrupted by your voice calling his name.

"chuuya?"

his attention snaps to you, and he opens and closes his jaws like a fish. "uh, yeah?"

he hates how dull and hesitant his voice sounds. he hates how confused you look. he hates dazai.

"what was dazai talking about?"

chuuya puffs out his chest, sensing an opportunity to lie his way out of this. "i have no idea, i guess that blubbering idiot has finally gone fully insane-"

"no, tell me truthfully, please."

he resists the urge to curse, having forgotten how perceptive you were. "uh... well..."

"you like me?"

silence. chuuya looks at you. you look at him. he's not sure what else he can say.

"yeah."

you blink. and then you smile. "okay, cool. i like you too."

and just like that, you move on, continuing your search for the scallions. chuuya's still frozen, so he jogs to catch up with you.

"wait, so like," he spouts disbelievingly, "for real?"

"yeah."

"just like that?"

"yep."

"it was that easy?"

"probably!"

chuuya sighs deeply and you giggle. "chuuya, i'd have said yes if you asked me out the day we met, if i'm being honest."

he gapes at you. "serious?"

"mhm. and i knew you liked me, by the way. i was just waiting for you to say it. i guess dazai got impatient."

he is flabbergasted. "what gave it away?"

you shrug your shoulders, gathering a bundle of scallions and a few heads of garlic to place in your basket. "you don't hide your envy well."

chuuya huffs. "i don't get jealous, actually."

"sure you don't."

"really, though! i don't!"

chuuya protests but he's smiling, and you are too. you bump him with your shoulders and his hand finds its way around your waist.

okay, so maybe chuuya nakahara got a little, tiny bit jealous- but for you? he thinks it was worth it.

#bsd x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuya x reader #chuya nakahara x reader #chuya nakahara #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #mom i love him

[elizais]

hello! i really enjoy your teen pm dazai stuff so can you please do a pm!teen!dazai first kiss with reader? i love the one where you wrote about meeting pm dazai

of course!!!

pm!dazai x fem!reader first kiss as teens in the PM, reader is the same age as dazai fluff fluff fluff

it all started when osamu found out about chuuya having a mission at a party. since you three were all 16, he would be at a party with other kids around your age. and when chuuya told him he was probably going to be kissing a girl before dazai, he just couldn't have that.

"i mean, dazai, i get to just meet a girl and instantly get a kiss! do you?" was one of the things the ginger said. this was their humour so he knew not to take it to heart, but, he was with a pretty girl every day. you.

although chuuya was only teasing, that couldn't be a milestone he gets to before osamu! so, naturally as a teen boy having a crush on a girl.. he came to you to complain.

the bandaged boy was lying on the couch in whoever's office you were hanging out in today. you were playing games on your laptop before he started on whatever frustrated him today.

" uhhh [name]?" he asked, sounding a little less confident than he usually does. you decided to only reply with a "mhm?" rather than ask what was wrong.

"did you know that shorty is going to a party for a mission?" annoyance clear in his voice. you groaned as the familiar losing noise came out from the game before replying to dazai. "yeah, nothing too interesting i think. it's with those annoying rich kids, there are a couple of nice ones though."

dazai carried on whining, knowing you won't shut him down. he always admired how you were there for him - even if you only saw him as a friend. or so he thought.

slowly shutting your laptop that mori gave 'strictly for work', you walked over to sit on the arm rest by his feet. leaning back on the sofa, you sighed. "he's probably having soooo much fun." osamu carried on.

"osamu,, what is really up?" you turned your head to see him slowly sitting up straighter. " i don't know! i just hate that hatrack so much why does he get to go to a party and i don't? like it's soo unfair! and mori-san should have definitely let me go like what the hell-" he began ranting.

you stood up and faced him while he sat. "that's not it, osa. what is it? you wouldn't be actually upset over this. if you were you would be with oda and ango drinking over it."

he sighed, praying his face isn't becoming red as he stood up too, so he can face you more comfortably. "he was just teasing me about getting to kiss a really pretty girl and.." he said nervously, very out of character for him. "and i don't get to kiss my pretty girl." he slipped out ever so quietly.

and you could only smile before grabbing his chin and using your thumb to reassure him. it was both of yours first kiss despite your big age. and you just pulled his face closer before the gap was closed.

it only lasted for maybe a second before you pulled away out of pure shock. a mafioso stumbling over her words with red cheeks and full of giggles. "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. osamu i'm so sorry i jus-" you quickly blurted out as he stopped you before pressing another kiss to your lips with a smile.

the both of you burst out laughing. shock, love, happiness.. all of the happy emotions filled you. was it the best kiss? no. was it your best kiss? yes.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #bsd dazai

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

okay hi, this is kinda a sensitive topic so feel free to deny, jst lmk cuz tumblr eats asks sometimes

I wanna request a self aware!bsd x gn teen!reader. Reader is like 15-16, and has a very bad home life (father is physically & s*xually abusive as well as an addict and mom doesnt care) and uses bsd as an escape and stuff. They see Chuuya and Kouyou as parental figures (not a ship). And reader is like really lifeless/numb but also extremely scared and paranoid

It is not your fault

Self-Aware! Platonic! Chuuya Nakahara x GN! Abused! Reader x Self-Aware! Platonic! Kouyou Ozaki

Description: There are monsters in your house. You want to be saved. From reality no one want help you. Maybe, you can help world in different world.

TW: Non-descriptive SA (psychological (photos, comments, forced looking at nudity) and physical (forced touching)). Mentions, without clarification or NSFW language. Mentions of drugs. Reader think that it's their fault [IT'S NOT AND IT WILL NEVER BE]. The bastard gets what he deserves. Soft protective platonic yandere. English is my second language.

_______

The school break will end soon, and you have to go to class.

You were reading BSD manga on your phone. When you got the message.

You heard the notification sound. You take a look at the screen.

[1 photo send from Father]

You feel sick. You knew what he sent you. You don't want to look at it.

Another notification.

[Look at it]

[That's what I put into your mother, so she can have you]

[Isn't he looked good?]

[DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME!]

You hurry to the school bathroom. You can't let anyone accidentally see, what your father sent you.

You can't ignore him. Or it would be worse.

When you got into the school bathroom, you make sure, that no one see you. You opened the chat with your father and immediately closed your eyes.

It takes you a few moments to close the app without looking at the screen.

There were tears in your eyes.

But when you go back to class, you were emotionless.

From outside, you looked numb and emotionless. But inside you were scared.

Really scared.

But you were hiding your fear.

Because no one cares. Even your own mother.

__________

"Mom... Dad was sending me photos... Of his... Of his..."

"[Y/N], stop mumbling. Just ignore him."

"Mom... Dad was making comments... About my... hips. He is making me uncomfortable..."

"[Y/N], I told you before. Ignore him."

"Mom, why Dad is walking around home naked? He is..."

"[Y/N], stop whining. Ignore your father..."

"Mom... He touched me... He forced me to touch him... He held my hand and didn't let me go..."

"Mom... He hit me because I called him gross... My hands feel gross and dirty... Mom, please help me!"

"Mom... Why are you ignoring me?"

__________

You hoped, that today he won't touch you.

You won and loose at the same time.

He didn't 'touch' you, but he beat you.

For not looking at his messages the same moment you got them.

Then he was too high on God knows what to touch you or force you to touch him.

You hide in your room.

You use the chair to hold the door down.

Your father is 'satisfied' with touching.

One day he will want more.

You prayed, that this day won't come for the next year. Until you are eighteen and can finally leave this house for good.

Your hands already will be dirty for the rest of your life.

You don't want to be dirty for the rest of your life.

From books, you have read, you learned, that's not your fault.

If only you could believe in these words yourself.

Were you really innocent? Or you did something, that made your father... interested in you?

You curled under the blanket and open your phone. You want to escape. You need to escape.

You opened BSD Mayoi App. You need to look at Chuuya and Kouyou cards.

___________

In BSD world

___________

Chuuya and Kouyou were ruthless. You need them. You were stuck in one house with the monster. Two monsters, because your mother didn't do anything to help you.

Chuuya growled at Ango.

"When the damn thing will be ready?! [Y/N] need us!"

Kouyou's gaze were cold. Golden Demon was hovering above here.

Ango took a step back.

"It still needs two hours to charge. I wish, it can be faster, but we can't do anything for it."

Chuuya turned around and left the room. Soon, everyone heard the sound of the road near the building been destroyed. Chuuya tried to calm down this way, otherwise he would attack someone.

He remembered your words.

"He beat me again. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to be touched by him... If you were real, would you care enough to help me?"

"I would, [Y/N]. I care enough. I will show him. He will pay."

Kouyou did a better job in holding herself together. But inside she was livid.

"I wish you were there, Kouyou. With you near me, he won't go near me. He won't touch me."

"He won't. Please, [Y/N], wait. It will be over soon."

_________

*BANG*

"How dare you to hold your door with the chair?! Ungrateful brat! STRIP!"

"No! Let me go! I don't want to! It's wrong!"

"Don't go near me! Stay away! Someone, please help me! Mom, please help me!"

"Come on! Open, damn portal! Open!"

And the white light fills the room, right after your father grabbed you by the shirt.

It takes one kick from Chuuya, to make your father fall down on the floor. He can't move, thanks to Chuuya's ability.

Your mother came to your room, trying to see, what was the noise. She saw you, your father been pinned down. And all BSD characters. Before she can shout, Golden Demon's katana was aimed at her throat.

Kouyou was standing before you, hiding you from your father and mother.

You can't believe your eyes. Was it real? Are BSD characters really standing in your room? Are they really protecting you?

You heard Kouyou's voice. She sounds soft.

"[Y/N], dear, sorry for almost letting this vermin do what he was planning to do. But we are here now, we are here to take you out of here. Do you trust us? Will you come with us?"

You nodded. You were certain, that they won't hurt you. It was time. You can finally be free.

"Yes..."

Chuuya looked at you and smiled.

"[Y/N], is it okay if Kouyou and I join you and others later? We need to deal with this man and woman."

You simply nodded and follow after the rest of the Cast. You were leaving the house. You stayed near Kyouka.

When you were gone, Chuuya and Kouyou start their revenge on your 'parents'.

________

You were free.

There is still work to do. You will need professional help.

But now you have people, who love you and respect you.

You have two parental figures in your life. Chuuya and Kouyou respect your privacy. They want you to feel safe.

They will protect you.

Monsters that you lived with, are dead. Your father died with his stomach ripped open and been as thin as a paper sheet. Your mother was torn apart.

Nothing can hurt you anymore. You will be better. You will feel safe.

They are with you.

The most important thing they told you, was this.

You are innocent. And it was never your fault. You are not dirty or disgusting.

It was never your fault.

#self-awareau #self-awarebsd #bungou stray dogs au #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #bsd anime #platonic #yandere #chuuya nakahara x reader #bsd kouyou #bsd chuuya #ozaki kouyou #bungou stray dogs kouyou #Self Aware Kouyou Ozaki #Self Aware Chuuya Nakahara

[chocsra]

✧ "Salvation; Devotion"

16! stormbringer! Chuuya x fem! reader

✧ summary: being targeted by paul verlaine after being chuuyas friend, though when he comes to talk to you with a european detective, it seems to be more than friendship. ✧ content: small oneshot, fluff, angst (kinda), adam + angsty teenagers ✧ w/c: 1.4k

Chuuya - meaning "loyalty, devotion"

Nakahara - meaning "central plain"

His devotion was not only his strongest attribute, but his most tender weakness.

You knew a boy. He was young and short, but fiery and strong. He was mysterious, born with unknown origins, and walked the wrong path, that's why he's not only humanity's most destructive weapon but a lowly, pitiful, criminal.

It was something you weren't, though you didn't mind much.

But under the guise of celestial imperfections, Chuuya was a constellation falling into place. He was beautiful. Sunkissed with the kind of foreign beauty you’d see in actors that would play some sort of prince. Your first examination of him was his wealthy and neatly ironed clothing—the kind of blazers and shoes that you’d find in a modelling campaign. Even the accented cuffs of his clothing were underlined with emerald or other precious stones. Then, his silky russet hair, one thrown into a low ponytail—the hairstyle itself still retained a strong masculinity despite the length. Or maybe that came from the musky cologne he constantly wore. A hint of cigarettes, strawberries and that strong scent of virile.

The soft glow from his copper locks then shifted to the fitted collar around his neck—an odd fashion choice, but it really accentuated the ivory of his skin. Soft, sun-kissed skin that’d make its way to his face. A beautiful face, really. Delicate and angelic features with a permanent scowl tugging on his lips—soft pink lips. Chuuya's eyes reflected a fine smoky quartz. His cheeks and nose kissed with a few scattered freckles.

You wondered why a boy so sublime had the status of an onerous beast. Even he took the words that held the weight of a blade and cut himself until he was reduced to the slit of a knife.

You met that same boy, a masterpiece ripped at every edge, not in the dangers of the mafia, but where a silver line stretches to the sea. Where the sun meets the sky, where the light shines.

But even then, you treated him differently. You didn't treat him like he was something fragile. Neither did you treat him like the monstrosity he was sought out to be. You didn't worship him, nor did you greatly depend on him. Instead, you found his humanity and treated him as such. Once a stranger, then a friend, then..

Nevermind.

"Chuuya?!"

You heard the calamity of each step he took to reach you, the boy stopping to pant. "[Y/N].. we need to talk." next to the redhead, was a tall European man with short brown hair, he didn't look tired at all compared to Chuuya. "Greetings, my name is Adam Frankenstein." You cocked a brow at his monotonous voice, the way his mouth moved didn't seem in sync with his words either. "You're rather special, Master Chuuya spent almost 7 hours looking for yo-" Adam explained briefly, causing the redhead to grimace and cut him off, "Shut it, will ya?!"

...

You heaved a bothersome sigh, elbows planted on a cafe table as the two men sat in front of you. "So.. why do you need me, Chuuya?" you question, fiddling with your fingers, "And who's he?.." your gaze uplifts to the brunette foreigner, which the man carefully takes a pack of gum and begins to unfold it, popping a piece in his mouth, before swallowing it. Your eyebrows furrow in a moment of youthful distaste.

Chuuya clutches the cup of tea between his gloved fingers and murmurs something intangible, "Adam's a detective from Europole, investigating Verlaine. He wants to know more about him, which is why he's been following me around.." he finally explains, taking a calculated and almost frustrated sip of his tea.

"Verlaine. Who's Verlaine?" You ask momentarily, causing the redhead to part his lips to answer, but you quickly halt as the detective swallows another piece of gum down his throat. "And why is he chewing gum like that?"

"That's what I'm sayin'!" the teenager half-seriously slams the cup of tea on the table, "He swallows it like a nutjob. You need help, tin man." Chuuya scoffs, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat almost nervously.

"You need help. You spent 6 hours and 47 minutes looking for h-" the brunette explains with a hint of sass in his voice, the redhead's eyes widening in shock, "I said shut up!"

You shuffle in your seat awkwardly as the two men argue. Scratching the back of your neck before Chuuya finally settles down, patting down the cashmere of his suit.

"So here's the thing about Verlaine.. he's this batshit crazy assassin, and uh.. here's the real kicker.." the mafioso mutters, fiddling with his gloved fingers uneasily. "You're gonna be the bait."

Your jaw immediately drops, a hand clasping over your chest in the offence. "Excuse me?! For what?.. to get killed?!" Chuuya looks distressed at your response, seeking Adam's gaze for at least a little help in his later response.

"Your safety is ensured. We just need to lure Verlaine out, so Master Chuuya can eliminate him." the detective explains rather calmly, fishing for something in the pocket of his suit before handing a chocolate bar to you. "Here, sugar helps with stress." the redhead smiles awkwardly at Adam's response, giving a nervous thumbs up.

You snatch the chocolate bar with a bit of attitude, eyes narrowing to Chuuya as the boy inhales sharply, "I thought I wouldn't get involved in your mafia affairs, now I have to die?" you ask with furrowed brows, anger cracking in your voice. Causing the teenager to gulp in slight fear, a rare sight to Adam, as he's never sensed fear from Master Chuuya. Especially to a young girl like you.

"Well, you won't die... More like, almost die." The detective explains, hoping he'd ease your nerves at least a bit. "Doesn't matter! M'not doing it!" You shout in vexation, hopping up from your seat as you pick up your school bag. "Plus, I couldn't if I wanted to, anyway," you murmur,

"Wait.. why?" Chuuya asks with conviction.

your gaze adverts to the different sights in the area: the park bench, passersby, and the cafe's menu. Anything but Chuuya's confused face.

"Uhm.. I have a project that's due tomorrow, and I didn't start yet."

"You can't be serious!"

The teenager runs up to you in frustration, you clutch your bag as you turn to him. "Oh, but I am!" you remark, walking faster as the brunette detective catches up. "I'm very serious! After all, this is a serious project!"

The redhead pants and wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead, "You're really gonna prioritise a school project over your own life?!" he cries out, still trying to catch up to you.

"Anything is better than being bait for the Port Mafia!" You yell out, settling your argument atop a bridge, ignoring how the sun was starting to set in an arrangement of oranges and pinks. "Shit- Don't say that so loud!"

"I'd rather finish a school project than become bait for the Port Mafia!!"

You repeat again, louder this time. Chuuya pinches his nose bridge in frustration, tilting his head up towards the setting sun. And upon you halting your swift steps, the redhead finally catches up to you, and to your surprise, he grabs your hand to spin you around.

"Look, I had a shitty week too!" the boy lets go of your hand, making you huff a little bit. But instead of letting you go, he cups both of your cheeks and pulls you close, his gaze never averting from yours. "People that mattered to me died, so many of them," the teenager explains, a melancholic glint lingering in his pretty eyes, you could see it all from the close proximity of his face. "and I'd do anything for you to not be one of those people."

You gulp hard as your eyes scan over the glass of his eyes, the once stormy grey now welling holding back tears.

Silence.

Adam clears his throat, standing beside you and the mafioso awkwardly, "Apologies for interrupting. But this whole exchange is very childish. Master Chuuya, don't you think there are better words to articulate your romantic feelings towards [Y/N]?.. Perhaps after this all over, you can solve this by getting into a relationship-" you and the boy both retort at the detective in unison:

"Shut up, Adam!"

...

"Okay, I'll help you." you frown with conviction, "You owe me a school project, though."

The redhead presses two fingers to his glabella, "I'll send someone to complete it for you."

✧ chocsra™

taglist for those who interacted in this post:

@loserzai @juice1231 @silverbladexyz @soleelia @cherylpoptarts @jackiepackiee @sapphire-tears013 @sstarshroom @n0thum4ny @roujira

#chocsra #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd x reader #chuuya x reader #15 chuuya #bsd stormbringer #stormbringer chuuya #16 chuuya #16 chuuya x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #chuuya x you #chuuya x y/n #oneshot #stormbringer chuuya x reader #chuuya x fem!reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader

[jackiepackiee]

“May I have this dance?”

Chuuya x reader

(ft. The Flags)

Warnings - none

Type - Fluff

Word Count - 798

A song for you by Donny Hathaway. The slow jazz filled every inch of the old world pool hall, seducing the ears of every resident that found themselves inside. There were only seven, but that's how it always was. Every other night, when no missions were to be had. Albatross, drinking some fruit-based cocktail while teasing Chuuya. The latter gritting his teeth at his friend, although any passersby would think he hates him. Iceman enjoyed the music, as well as Doc as he both sipped on some heavy whisky. Pianoman and Lippmann were in a very intense game of pool, tied the entire run. Then, you. Changing the record to some more up beat jazz.

“We should dance! Doesn’t that sound fun?” You had always been rather energetic with a bit of alcohol in your system. It’s not like this place had a limit or carded anyone.

Lippmann looked up at you, a bit surprised. “Dance? Since when did you dance?”

“Since forever! Come on~ I love dancing, it’s only natural.” She explained.

On the other end of the hall Albatross teased Chuuya’s hair, before whispering into his ear.

“Go dance with her, you know you wanna~”

You didn’t realize this teasing, thinking Chuuya’s red cheeks were only from some overly expensive wine. Little did you know he hadn’t had a sip all night.

“No way! Anyways she’s talking to Lippmann, I don’t wanna bother her.” Chuuya said, pushing away Albatross. Not enough to hurt him of course.

Lippmann was having the same idea, no way he’d pass the opportunity up to play matchmaker.

“Very well then. Hmm, I’m not sure… you shouldn’t dance with Doc, wouldn’t wanna knock over his IV.”

Pianoman joined in, putting his pool stick down.

“And not Iceman, he’s a whole lot bigger than you with all that muscle.”

Pianoman said, easily concealing his playfulness.

Doc leaned into the trio of you, Lippmann, and Pianoman.

“And not Albatross, I’d bet he has two left feet.”

You.. you were not understanding what this was leading to. But still giggled at Doc’s little joke. Luckily Albatross couldn’t hear.

“Well, then who? You, Lippmann?”

Did she have to be so dense?

“No! I mean uh- I’m not very good at dancing, and neither is Pianoman!” Lippmann tried to turn it on Chuuya.

“But Pianoman, I’ve seen you dance on a mission before?” She spoke, curious as to why it was said he couldn’t dance. He shook his head, lying for a good cause.

Albatross walked over before she could ask any more questions, Chuuya in tow.

“You know, Chuuya could dance with you! Isn’t that right?”

She perked up, happy someone would dance with her. She smiled, and he melted. How could he ever say no to her?

“Sure… will you dance with me?”

He asked, gentlemanly as he always was with her.

Iceman, quiet as he always was, was still listening. He picked a record, it was from New Orleans. Jazzy and fast pace, probably from the 1930’s. He knew she loved this style. Swing dancing… Chuuya was in for an absolute treat, as well as the rest of the flags. Since they knew damn well he’d be faking it till he made it.

“Of course I’ll dance with you! Let’s go!”

She took his gloved hand in hers. It was surprisingly soft leather, though the real hand would be much nicer to hold and feel. Even if neither would admit it.

“You ready, Chuu?” God, his heart would give out if she called him that nickname ever again. But, he wouldn’t complain. What a lovely way to die that would be. Damn it, he got distracted.

“Chuuya? Ready?”

She was so patient.

“Yeah, I’m ready. Umm.. what do I do?”

She laughed, not in a mean way. It was cute, that’s what he thought anyway.

“Sorry sorry.. we can start with the basics. Okay, hands in mine.”

He took her hands. Unbeknownst to her, the flags gave him grins and thumbs up. “Your nails… They are painted red. That’s my favorite color, they’re lovely.”

“It is? Well isn’t that perfect, and thank you.”

She started to sway to the music. He followed suit, thanking his past self for learning how to keep rhythm.

“Can I spin you?”

She agreed, spinning while holding his hand. She was smiling, eyes beaming while looking into his. Was she?… she had her doubts before, but she definitely loved him.

Iceman, with his knowledge of records, changed the music to play a slower song. Meaning Chuuya could hold her close. He did not need five wingmen.

He pulled her closer by the waist.

“The music slowed down, so we should too.”

“Since when did you know about dance?~”

He made a faux annoyed expression.

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

Part two?

#chuuya nakahara x reader #bsd chuuya #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara #chuuya stormbringer #bsd stormbringer #16!chuuya #albatrossxreader #iceman x reader #doc x reader #lippmannxreader #pianomanxreader #bungou stray dogs stormbringer

[iisowks]

bbg….imagine-teen mommy! reader who works with PM dazai and through a LOT of drama he finds out he’s the father (drama💗) you decide the rest~ or!! Another idea!! Idea no 2; chuuya finds out its dazais kid. ((Smut or no smut idk))

PM! Dazai… and chuuya x Pregnant teen! Reader

Warnings: it can be a trigger for some people, mentions of suicide, mention of alcohol, mention of sex, suggestive but not smut detailed, it ends bad so yeah, and kind of cheating too.

Note: Heyyy so i don’t know what i did so i just did an like PLUS CHUUYA or sum but i guess it’s ok even tho i hated :3, but i really hope you like! and yes i think i’ll do an part two where Y/N finds him when they’re adults!

★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★

you joined the mafia very young but already a teenager, you don't actually like to be there but you had no choice or where to go. When you joined you didn't want to be with anyone and you didn't actually wanted to have friends, but two teenagers around your age did NOT leave you alone, and you enjoyed it after some time! you felt less lonely.

but then things got complicated. After some time, you catched yourself attracted to Dazai, even though you knew he wasn't the best person to be with, and you denied for a long time until one day Dazai was at your door, drunk.

“heyyy Y/N, i missed you!” dazai said with a messy voice… “Dazai, what the fuck? it 's 2 AM!” you said quite angry at him, but you took him in and gave him water, trying to make him sober, “Dazai, you really shouldn't be drinking that much.” you said worried about him, after all you guys were just teenagers. “and what? were all fucked up, it wont change anything! That's why I came here, I want to experience something before I die and you can help me with that, darling.”

you knew what was he talking about even tho your thoughts are saying not to do it because youre a fucking teenager, you wanted to. “Dazai, i don’t think we should-” “shut up.” right after that he kissed you… and you didn't stop him, i mean, who would 🧍‍♀️

Well you guys had sex, and you didn't know how to react at first… when you woke up he was gone, and that confused you, but you still wanted to talk to him.

After some time you guys became very close and sex became something normal for you two, until one day you two argued about something very silly but you were so done with him that you just walked away just like he did!

well you were walking through the city when you had the thought of drinking something, and since you were from mafia, almost no one questioned your age.

Well it was your first time drinking so you didnt knew what to ask for thats when you saw your friend Chuuya, “Chuuya! hi!” you said happy to see someone you could talk to. “oh, Y/N…” Chuuya said quite… normal? “do you mind helping me? i dont know what do drink…” “its your first time drinking alcohol?”

the night passed really fast, it was already like 1 AM and you and Chuuya were definetly drunk, “hey Chuu, can we have sex?” Chuuya frozed “huh? i thought you were with that morron” “well im not dating him!” Chuuya hesitated, but he was too drunk to have filter. “i… i guess then it’s okay?” you kissed him almost immediatly, you needed that because you were still feeling bad because of Dazai… and you know he probably did the same and that fucking hurted you.

well you woke up in your bed but no Chuuya, so you thought ‘oh thank god it was dream haha’ until you saw a note of Chuuya saying he should have stayed until you woked up but he didnt want to make you uncomfortable, in that moment you thought of suicide.

You simply pretended that nothing happened and prayed for Chuuya to do that too. Well you ignored everyone in the mafia for 2 weeks, until one day you just didn't feel well and runned away from mafia because mori would never let you go earlier, well you had your suspicions you were pregnant and you were going to do the test anyway.

When the test was positive you panicked, you were 16 and now pregnant?! you just wanted to die, but now you had to discover who’s the dad, and you don’t think Dazai would be happy with something like this. You were scared, but you thought it was better to let Chuuya know, since he was the last person you had a sexual relation.

You used protection with both. so one of them just didn’t work or something, you couldn’t think about any other reason but now the problem is not even that, is that you were pregnant with one of those man’s baby.

Well, Chuuya’s reaction was kind of… not good, and you understand that since you both were teenagers and definitely not ready to have a baby, but you also told him that could be Dazai, in the end he just accompanied you to do the test to see who is the father of the baby.

Well, now you have to wait, both of you, because Dazai has no clue what is happening and he probably thinks you still hate him. You were almost dying to know who the father was but part of you didn’t want to be Dazai because you don’t know how he would react.

A call, the attendant started to talk… after a time you just asked for her to say who was, when she said, you hung up and started crying immediately.

“Chuuya, thank you for the help, but i have to tranquilize you. You are not the father.” Chuuya was incredibly silent. “Be careful, Y/N.” That's all he said.

You lefted immediately to look for Dazai, you tried all the places you could, he was in none of them.

“Mori, hello.” It was your last chance. “Y/N, can i know why you are here after disappearing for 4 weeks?” “I just wanted to ask you if you know where Dazai is.” “Dazai is no longer a part of the mafia, miss Y/N.” “what?..” “he lefted.”

You ran. You ran the fastest that you could… you hated him, you hated him so much even though he doesn't even know you’re carrying his baby.

I guess until you meet him again.

★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★

#bungou stray dogs #x reader #bsd x reader #dazai osamu #chuuya x reader #light angst #dazai x reader #bsd #iisowks

[ravencincaide]

Someone else to blame 

Summary: Different people deal with grief differently. Some accept it and move on while others suppress the memories. For Chuuya however, an existence without you is simply not an option. 

Pairing Chuuya x Reader, a hint at SKK x Reader

Inspired by Sweetober prompt 16: Familiar scents

Author note: @chuuyaswifeandhoe Darlin your beautiful fic hurt me (in the best angsty way possible), and made me peep out of my vacation to post this. Lets hope this does the same to you! This one is for everyone who loves angst, and especially those who've experienced grief.

Warning: Grief, cursing, alcohol, angst Enjoy~

______________________________________________________________

Chuuya sighed heavily as he stared at the little key with a bright blue tag laying innocently in the palm of his gloved hand. He was leaning his entire body weight against the wall, his hat pulled down over his eyes and his coat zipped all the way up. For once, he was trying to make himself as unapproachable to the people around him as possible. Still he could hear the whispers from the girls in the opposite corner, giggling and urging one of their friends to ask him for his number. Aside from that there was a gentle ticking of the elevator as it crawled higher and higher until it reached the top floor of the skyscraper. A ding and the doors opened. 

Chuuya was the first one to get out. 

Before the girls could grab his attention Chuuya strode through the narrow corridor with simple apartment doors on either side, stopping outside the apartment located at the very end. He pushed the key into the lock, turning it in one swift movement before entering the dark hallway. He heard light steps behind him accompanied with a gentle ‘excuse me sir’. Rather than reply, Chuuya pretended not to hear, shutting the door and locking it. He lingered in the hallway long enough to hear the girls let out a whine of disappointment before finally leaving. Then,only then, did he finally kick off his shoes. Letting the bag of groceries fall to the floor, he picked his shoes up, squeezing them into the stand between your heels and sneakers. 

“ God Y/N you really need to look into your neighbors before picking an apartment.” He called as he picked up the bag and left the small hallway, switching on the lights on his way into the small living room which consisted of a couch, a table, a small tv and small couch-side drawer with a lamp on it. In one end of the corner stood several flat boxes- the unbuilt bookshelf. And by it high stacks of books, course literature mixed together with fantasy and dark romance. “ And we still need to build that bookshelf.” 

His eyes lingered on the dirt on top of the boxes, making a mental note of dusting sometime in the coming days before he headed to the small kitchenette with barely enough space for two people to stand side by side and cook. Opening the fridge door which was positioned awkwardly by the entrance he put in the newly bought groceries before he began folding the plastic bag into a small square. Then he tucked it into the overfilled bottom drawer of one of the cupboards opposite the fridge. 

“ Yes yes I know you hate it when I smoke Y/N” he said with a hint of annoyance in his voice “ Give me a break, work was hell today.” He left the kitchen and headed towards the bathroom- the best part of this entire apartment, turning on all lights in his wake. Opening the door, he could feel the heated floor through his socks as he trott over to the bathroom sink. Beside it stood a bottle of mouthwash, extra strong mint. To his side was the upraised shower cabin with frosted glass and on opposite it another door leading towards the bathtub and Your personal space filled with all sorts of foreign creams and salts half of which he couldn’t understand. But he tried. For you.  

Taking the mouthwash he began rinsing, feeling his mouth growing numb by the second. A minute later he spat it out, wiping away the residue on his lips onto the back of his glove. “ Sweetheart, can you remind me to buy a different mouthwash? Honestly if I gotta wash my mouth out with this after every smoke I may as well quit right now!” 

Leaning against the sink, Chuuya took several deep breaths. He could feel the stinging behind the eyelids but stubbornly refused to acknowledge it. “ We can also get that cream you like too, right love?” his voice shook slightly at the end. He stood with his head bowed for a long moment, doing his absolute best to avoid the mirror in front of him. 

Man was he pathetic.

Growling to himself, Chuuya pushed away from the sink, stomping out of the bathroom. He slammed the door shut behind himself, making the frail wood shake in the frame. “ I’ll see if it's broken tomorrow” he stated bluntly as he made quick way back towards the kitchen. This time his attention was on the liquor standing tucked away in the side of the little bench space. Chuuya eyed the selection quickly, his eyes landing on the barely touched bottle of Sacred Peated. For a change, he picked it over his fancy bottles of wine standing further in. With his other hand he reached into the cupboard in front of him and pulled out a single whiskey glass before he quickly fled back into the living room. 

Chuuya dropped himself onto the couch, salvaging the feeling of soft cushions hugging his body. He leaned back against the animal shaped pillows scattered all over, then opened the bottle of whiskey, pouring a shot. He had to lean quite far forward, over the cushion on the tatami floor and his usual spot in order to place the bottle on the table. Then he leaned back again, out of habit twirling the glass of liquor in his hand. Even without bringing it closer he could smell the smokey-nutty scent. He hesitated only a moment before he brought the glass to his lips and downed it in one go. Chuuya could feel his throat burn and he coughed several times after, until the burning became manageable.

“ God Y/N how can you love this shit?” he gaped, staring down at the now-empty whiskey glass as if it would answer him. It didn’t, but it also didn’t take long until he began feeling a familiar tipsy warmness. He was certain his face was flushed. 

He never could hold his alcohol- not like you. 

Looking to the side, Chuuya picked up the pillow closest to himself. It was in the shape of a cat, Chuuya stared at it for a long moment. Then he brought it to his face and took a deep breath. Nothing. No if anything the little cat smelled more of Dazai than it did of you. No doubt because the mackerel had a habit of hugging it whenever he came over. Letting out a scream, Chuuya tossed the thing across the room before burying his head in his hands. He couldn’t believe how quickly your scent was fading away. He didn’t want it to. 

“ Fuck Y/N.” Chuuya whispered “ Fuck.” 

He stayed seated there until he could feel his cheeks beginning to burn. The stinging in his eyes returned. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, as if begging to tear itself to shreds. God why did it have to hurt so much? 

Getting up he slowly went up to the one room he had yet to visit. Your bedroom. Tucked furthest away into the small apartment, behind the heaviest oak door in the entire place, out-matching even the front door. Chuuya’s hand shook as he put it on the doorknob. He knew he shouldn’t go in too often- not unless he wanted the smell to change there too. However tonight he decided to indulge in the sweet temptation. Opening the door he quickly stepped in before closing it behind himself. The place was the only part of the apartment that never changed- as if you had just rushed out to class that morning. As if you never– left. He still couldn’t bring himself to think about it- let alone say that ugly word. 

Closing his eyes, Chuuya took a deep breath.  His senses filled with the stuffy dusty air and a then a much more faint sweet scent. It was your scent. He’d pick it out anywhere. Shakily he reached out blindly to the side where he knew your clothing rack stood full of autumn and winter accessories, feeling his fingers brush against material he grabbed at it. Then he darted out of the room, closing the door firmly and quickly behind himself, terrified he tainted one of the last fragments he had left of you. 

He returned back to the couch and poured himself another shot of whiskey, downing half before he dared to look at what he had taken. It was a soft white scarf- one he bought for you on one of the dates that ran particularly late. Laying down, Chuuya placed the scarf on his face and took another deep breath. Besides your familiar scent he could make out the light hint of your perfume, a smell you picked up after the two of you started dating more seriously. It was actually a little too mature for you, for your age. He felt his eyes sting and this time he did nothing to stop the tears as he remembered all the times you tried to make yourself appear older, holding back your childish desires as if it would put him off.  Then his mind drifting back to each and every memory he had of you wearing this scarf; the embarrassed look when he bought it for you just because your eyes had lingered a little longer on it than the other items in the shop, then the way you’d wear it whenever he’d pick you up after class, the way you’d cocoon yourself in it whenever it got chilly. The terrified sound of your voice when you called him late one night after having forgotten it in his rental car. The bright smile on your lips when he went out of his way to drive it out to you early the following morning. The way- 

“ God sweetheart I miss you. I miss you so fucking much.” His shoulders began to shake with his sobs, regret and guilt tearing at him “ What I wouldn’t give to have you back. Even for just another hour.” 

Ding-dong. 

Chuuya heard the doorbell ring. He made no move to get up off the couch and just buried his face deeper into the soft material, inhaling your smell. It brought him comfort, like a warm hug that told him everything would be okay- that you forgave him. A fantasy he knew he had no right to even dream about.

Ding-Dong, Diiiing Dong, Diiiiiing dong-

More desperately the doorbell rang. For a moment Chuuya’s heart jumped into his throat as he flew up from the couch, practically jumping over the table and into the hallway. It was impossible but maybe- just maybe his prayers were answered. 

Opening the door, his hopeful smile dropped, his heart clenching painfully as he was once again, painfully reminded that you wouldn’t be coming back through that front door. Ever. 

Outside stood Dazai, almost awkwardly shifting from one leg to the other. The number of bandages on him had significantly increased and he looked as if he had lost both sleep and weight. Perhaps even the last bit of his sanity if he came here of all places. Dazai’s blank eyes shifted from Chuuya’s red ones, then to your scarf in his hand. He could understand the sentiment well, the longing towards the gentle familiar smell. You.  Raising an unopened bottle of Sacred Peated he motioned for Chuuya to step aside and let him in “ I see you’ve already started, you dog” 

“ Who are you calling a dog? Idiot Dazai,” Chuuya replied with malice in his voice as he slumped backwards, dragging his heavy body back towards the couch. There he dropped into the cushions, careful not to wrinkle or damage the scarf. With shaking hands he folded it slowly, salvaging the last seconds of vulnerability as he heard Dazai moving around your kitchen. The sound was not weird or unfamiliar- instead it brought back other memories of the three of you at this very table. Drinking, teasing each other and then the two of them teaching you less than proper games. It started with Strip Rock-paper-scissors that Dazai picked up in a brothel and continued with ‘unbound truth or dare cards’ you got as a joke gift from some friends. 

It only escalated from there. 

Seeming to share those memories Dazai came over and set a deck of cards with hand painted butterfly designs on one side of the table, as if to signify your presence. Neither of them could handle seeing your face or your picture. Not yet at least. 

Then he moved to sit down on the cushion on the floor opposite Chuuya, his usual spot. His hands reached out towards the cat pillow that was lying not too far away. He set it in his lap out of habit. Then he proceeded to fill up the two empty glasses he brought from the kitchen almost to the brim. Before making sure to refill up Chuuyas partially empty glass to match the other three. One he placed on the short side not far from the deck of cards, the place that was between himself and Chuuya- Your usual spot. He took the second one in his hand. 

Just like Chuuya, he didn't bother with ice. 

Suddenly Dazai chuckled as he raised the glass to his lips “ I swear Y/N, I’ve never met anyone who was as bad at strip-poker as you. Even with ten extra layers!” The memory drew a pitiful chuckle out of Chuuya as well, knowing well what Dazai was referring to. 

“ Or someone who was such a sore loser.” Chuuya remembered. Now it was Dazai’s turn to laugh- a sad echo with no real humor behind it.

 “ I think we made it up to Y/N that evening.” Dazai added fondly and Chuuya swallowed heavily, looking down at his drink with newfound guilt. They might have made it up to you for that incident but there were still plenty more that they’d never get the chance to ask your forgiveness for. 

It was something that both men were bitterly aware of. 

After that they continued to drink in silence. After all, what could they say?  It was their selfishness of wanting to keep you in the dark that got you killed in the first place. That tore you so suddenly out of their lives that all that remained were your few possessions,  shared memories and gaping holes in their heart.  And the worst part was that they had no one else they could blame for your death but themselves.

#bsd chuuya #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya nakahara #bsd dazai #dazai x reader #sweetober #angst #Chuuya angst #skk angst #skk x reader #alcohol #grief #ravencincaide