#AND HE INVALIDATED MY KINK SO I HAVE TO GO BITE HIS ASS.

[yanderepuck]

Ikevamp au where everything is the same except the suitor falls in love with you, but you hate them.

Imagine. An otome game, but you constantly turn down the guy.

Napoleons route: what makes you think I want to be your body guard?

You: what makes you think I want to be near a panty sniffer?

Napoleons route later: wait... I think I'm in love with her

You: why won't he leave me alone.

Wait why is this actually hilarious

Mozart's route: no one likes you and no one wants you here.

You: what makes you think I want to spend my time with a man who meowed at people?

Mozart's route later: so I actually really like your company

You: I've never enjoyed being around you for a moment after you called me a nuisance.

How would you expect me to fall in love with either of these two after they both tell me they want nothing to do with me. Please explain

Leonardo's route: I'm going to drag you around the city and have you help me with things

You: please just let me be depressed in the mansion

Leonardo's route later: I've really been enjoying our time together

You: please just let me be depressed in the mansion.

Just let her do her thing. She wants to go back home with no strings attached. Make sure she doesn't try to kill herself but please don't drag her along against her will.

Arthur's route: you're a pretty little thing

You: touch me and I will scream and bite you myself. Never speak to me. Don't even perceive me.

Arthur's route later: so it all started when I was a wee lad

You: didn't I tell you to stop acknowledging me? I'm not interested in your trauma. I didn't even know who wrote Sherlock until I got here

Let be real. Most of us didn't actually know. We knew Sherlock didn't write Sherlock but we didn't know it was some crazy fairy man.

Vincent's route: you're really sweet and I think we should be friends

You: yes. Friends is nice. You seem very nice

Vincent's route later: so..I..um...I want to be more than friends.

You: learn how to have a negative emotion and stop acting like being sad is a bad thing.

The boy is honestly toxic. He's going to invalidate your negative emotions I feel it.

Theo's route: hondje! You saw my scar and so now you're going to work for me!

You: shouldn't I be the one trying to blackmail you??

Theo's route later: you're actually a really good worker and have a good eye for art. I like you hondje

You: so you like capitalism? Am I even getting paid? I didn't travel through a door just to run around the city and sell art work

I'll never understand how it makes sense that Theo thinks he can make her do things bc he assumes she noticed some random ass scar. WHAT'S WRONG WITH EVERYTHING LEARNING YOU GOT SHOT. YOU DIDN'T COME FROM THE FUTURE. THEY CAN TECHNICALLY LOOK UP HOW YOU DIED.

Why did I have a hard time coming up with one for Isaac. Ik that boy is problematic but why am I having issues

Isaac's route: HOW DONT YOU KNOW ABOUT *insert very complicated scientific theory*

You: I went to public school my dude. Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Isaac's route later: she's very kind and patient. Is this what love feels like??

You: IF HE COULD SHUT UP ABOUT HIS WORK FOR 5 SECONDS THAT WOULD BE GREAT

I know once I post this I'll think of a better one for Isaac. But oh well. Boy needs to let you talk about your day.

Dazai's route: you're so cute. I'm going to adopt you as my little sister

You: you're a little weird... But I guess this is okay

Dazai's route later: so I really like you, but I need to push you away and act like I don't care because it's what's best

You: I have been here for two weeks and you've tried to kill yourself 4 times. How did you think I could mentally handle that let alone want to date you, PLUS YOU KEEP CALLING ME YOUR LITTLE SISTER

He sibling zones you up until the very end. What kind of Alabama kink do you got going on, Dazai

Jean's route: I'm not sorry that I bit you. Don't talk to me, I don't want friends. No one understands me anyway.

You: if Comte doesn't beat your ass for biting me then I'll do it myself.

Jean's route later: I think I'm learning what love is. She's helped me with so much and I want to repay her

You: he bit me and never apologized or got in trouble. Why the hell would I ever be interested in him. He's treating life like a SURVIVAL GAME

I have many complaints about Jean. But my main one is the biting and him never getting in trouble for it bc he's the favorite child.

Will's route: you found and read my note book and now I have to keep an eye on you so you don't tell anyone that I'm using this information against them to possibly get them killed!

You: sooo...you aren't writing all of this because you have bad social skills and are just trying to better understand everyone because they are all from a vastly different time period than you? Thanks for telling me your plan.

Will's route later: so I've realized the error of my ways and I'm not going to do the deed any more and I hope you can forgive me

You: LET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN VILLA

Will became a little too obsessed. Oops

Comte's route: it is my fault that you are here, so I will protect you and take care of all your needs while you are here. You'll be the daughter I never had

You: thanks! I'll work around the mansion to pass the time and get to know everyone better

Comte's route later: I know I have pushed you away multiple times but I really love you and I want to spend centuries with you

You: I have seen how bad of a parent you are and I've picked up your dirty clothes off the floor I don't think this is going to work

Comte just keeps daughter zoning you and then is like "so I love you" IS THIS WHERE DAZAI GETS IT FROM.

Sebastian's route: every time you do something wrong I'm going to flick your forehead

You: do that one more time and I swear to God I'm slapping that grin off your face

Sebastian's route later: being with you is making me miss home and consider going back to our time. I would love to go back with you and spend our lives together back in Japan

You: there's so many reasons why this wouldn't work out and staying at the top: YOU TOOK SOME RANDOM PILLS SOME PRIEST GAVE YOU. Not to mention you didn't tell ANYONE you were dying

If you're gonna fall in love with me at least tell me you're going to die in a few months.

Also not going to do the trio in this moment. Oops sorry

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp theo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp Isaac #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp jean #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp comte #ikevamp sebastian

[spadebait]

@trainstabbin HAS RABIES AND WORMS.

#AND HE INVALIDATED MY KINK SO I HAVE TO GO BITE HIS ASS. #NOT LITERALLY. #trainstabbin

[justcallmehitgirl]

Delicate (Tom Holland x Female Reader Smut)

Summary: You’re six months pregnant, and Tom is your best friend who wants to help raise your baby after your ex left you. Oh, and Tom happens to be in love with you.

Word Count: 5700

Warnings: LOTS OF SMUT. Language. Pregnancy!kink.

A/N: This is my first T.H. fic so I hope I did it justice. I’ll be writing more one-shots in the near future so please send me an ask or message if you want to be added to my permanent tag list.

Disclaimer: I do not know T.H. nor do I claim to know him. This is all a work of fiction and fantasy. Please do not take offense to any of the explicit content involving T.H. Please do not read further if you are bothered by this type of fanfiction.

You’re sitting on your couch idly flipping through the channels on your television when you hear the lock on the front door jiggle. You smile in relief, tossing the remote beside you, and turning your attention to the boy with wind-blown curly, brown hair pushing the door open with his shoulder. He has a bag of groceries in one arm and a bag of Chinese food in the other. You lick your lips and flex your swollen feet.

“Hi,” he huffs, shutting the door behind him with his foot and locking the door with his index finger and thumb.

“Hello,” you grin, eyes getting wide at all the food entering your apartment. 

You rub your protruding belly and lick your lips, the scent of Kung Pao Chicken and Spring Rolls wafting through the air. Tom walks over to you and bends down to place a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“How was work?” he murmurs against your hair.

You shrug. “Oh just the usual… lots of paperwork, lots of demanding lawyers… it also doesn’t help that I have to use the bathroom every two minutes either. Makes work a whole lot more tiring... always having to get up and down. Maybe I should invest in Depends…” you say, squinting your eyes in thought.

Tom scrunches his nose, walking over to the kitchen and placing the bags on the counter. “Let’s save the diapers for the baby, alright?”

You roll your eyes and try to push yourself off of the couch to go over and help him put away the groceries. You nearly topple over in the process, and Tom practically runs over to steady you.

“Hey, hey… slow it down there.”

“I know,” you grumble. “I can’t help it that I’m a planet.”

“You should’ve asked me to help you.”

Your brows furrow. “I’m six months pregnant, not an invalid,” you snap.

That was what had taken a toll on you. Not the morning sickness. Not being able to eat soft cheeses. But being coddled like a child. You had always loved your independence, craved it since you were a child and cherished it as an adult. But seemingly overnight you had to lean on everyone around you for help.

Tom looks taken aback for a moment but he keeps his hands on your arms. You look down at the ground, at the television, anywhere but his gaze, regret starting to flood your body. You slump your shoulders.

“I’m sorry, I just… hormones,” you shrug apologetically.

Tom nods and places a soothing hand on your back. “It’s alright, darling. I’ll make you a plate of food and bring it over to you, okay?”

You reluctantly nod in response before taking a seat back on the couch. You watch from the corner of your eye as Tom patters about the kitchen before turning your attention back to the television in front of you. 

—

“Is it your ex?”

You look up from your plate and raise your brows. “What?”

Tom purses his lips and fiddles with the fork in his hand. “I feel like you’ve been in a mood all night. Is it him? Did he try something?”

You quickly shake your head. “No, of course not. I haven’t heard from him in months. You know he’s out of the picture.”

Tom nods. “Alright.” 

Tom never liked your ex-boyfriend. He was a musician with an ego the size of Texas. Tom knew he saw other girls behind your back, coming home late with the strong scent of perfume and alcohol lingering about him. Tom knew he was using you. You had a stable job as a paralegal in one of the largest law firms in New York. He needed you, always making you pay for rent, groceries, you name it, he always found a way for you to pay for it. 

But Tom knew you loved him and that you wanted to support his career. You knew how much music meant to him. So Tom tried to get along with him, accompanying you to his shows, going on double dates, and even engaging in small talk with him. Even though he always wanted to throttle him while they were together, Tom did it for you.

You watch Tom deep in thought, placing your empty plate on the coffee table in front of you.

“Hey space cadet,” you tease, bringing Tom’s attention back to you.

You chuckle a bit.

“Where were you just now?”

Tom merely shrugs. “Oh… just thinking.”

“Okay,” you nod. You reach for the remote when he clears his throat. You turn your attention back to him.

“I was thinking about cancelling my trip.”

Your eyes widen. “What? No, why?”

Tom places his plate on top of yours. “I just think it’s bad timing... you know with the baby and all. I just don’t want to leave you alone.”

You shake your head. “Tom, you can’t. You’ve planning this for a year.”

“Yeah, well life happens,” he reasons.

“Your brothers would be so disappointed.”

“Yeah well, they’ll get over it. They’re not having a baby in three months.”

“You act like you’re going to be gone for ages, it’s only going to be two weeks.”

“Well two weeks is a long time, a lot could happen.”

“Tom, I’ll be fine. My sister will be here while you’re away.”

“That’s super comforting,” he mutters sarcastically.

Your younger sister was a freshman at CCNY who could barely get to class on-time and clean her dorm room let alone take care of you.

“It’ll be okay. Plus, I know you’re only a phone call away.”

“Yeah, but...”

“No buts, Holland. You’re going on this trip, you’re going to have tons of fun, make lots of amazing memories…  and hey, maybe you might even meet a girl,” you wink, “and then you’re getting your ass back here to rub my aching feet.”

Tom laughs, as you stretch out your foot and wave it in front of him. He catches it in his hands and places it in his lap, playing with the soft fabric of your socks. He traces his fingers over the zigzag pattern and smiles.

He would give up a year’s worth of vacations just to be here with you and the baby.

“You sure you’re going to be okay?”

You nod exuberantly. “I’ve made it this far, what’s two weeks?”

He smiles slightly, still a bit uneasy about it all. You can sense his discomfort so you place a hand on his.

“Thank you for being such an amazing friend, Tom.”

Tom can’t help but flinch at the word, ‘friend.’ 

“I honestly wouldn’t have made it through these past few months without you,” you continue, “I truly appreciate everything that you’ve done so far. My baby’s really lucky to have such a supportive father-figure. But...”

“Here’s the ‘but’ coming,” he jokes.

“But you gotta do something for yourself, okay? It’ll drive me insane to know that you’re going to be missing out on a vacation with your family to tend to me. I would kill to take a vacation right now so promise me you’ll have fun?”

Tom bites his lip, nodding reluctantly.

“Great, now let’s watch something scary, okay? After my day at work, I’m in the mood to see someone get axed in the face.”

Tom shakes his head and puts his hands up in defeat. 

“Who am I to argue with a pregnant woman?”

—

It’s 2:30 in the morning when he hears it.

“Tom?”

He stirs on the couch.

“Tom?”

He groggily opens his eyes and leans up on his elbows. He sees you leaning against the doorframe. His eyes trail down your body and he can’t help but gulp. You’re wearing an over-sized t-shirt and he can tell you’re not wearing any pants. He calls out your name, his voice hoarse from sleep.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

You nod. “I am b-but can you come to bed with me? I’m having trouble sleeping.”

You’re fiddling with the hem of your shirt, biting your lip and shuffling your feet.

He breathes in deeply and nods, removing the heavy blanket from his body. You take a step towards him and stretch your hand out. He takes it into his, squeezing your palm gently in reassurance. You lead him towards your bedroom. 

You walk into your room and let go of him, crawling onto the bed. He catches a glimpse of your lace underwear, and he feels his mouth go dry. He quickly looks away, trying to think about anything but your lovely ass swaying in front of him.

He walks to the other side of the bed and slides underneath the covers, silently praying he doesn’t get a boner beside you. 

It wasn’t unusual for him to sleep in the same bed as you. When your ex left you, he spent plenty of nights in bed with you, holding you and comforting you. You were devastated after he had left you. You had just told him about the baby, and he had gotten angry, accusing you of trying to trap him and ruin his career.

He had given you an ultimatum: him or the baby. You chose the baby and he was gone the next morning.

Tom naturally eased into the doting father role. He visited you often, sleeping on the couch, bringing you food, and helping you with your chores. His friends thought he was crazy for taking on the responsibility when the baby wasn’t even his. But he loved you. You were his best friend and you needed him.

But he also couldn’t deny his growing attraction to you.

He had always thought you were beautiful, but seeing you so maternal made something stir in his belly. He often found himself stealing glances at you, watching as you tucked pieces of loose hair behind your ears, bit your lip, and especially when you would walk around in just a t-shirt, the fabric stretching over your swollen stomach.

He doesn’t know when his feelings for you changed. He tries to pinpoint it in his mind. He looks back at the last twelve years that he’s known you and he thinks, ‘why haven’t I thought about you in that way before?’

You always had a special connection with him ever since you first met. Your dad was in the military and you moved around a lot, from Singapore to Guam to London. You were the quintessential ‘military brat.’ 

You were in middle school when you met Tom. You described yourself as a transient being, never truly fitting in at one place. You purposefully didn’t want to make new friends, lest you leave them for a new city and country the following year.

But Tom was friendly and outgoing, even though he was constantly teased for being a dancer. He immediately took a liking to you, telling you about his own dreams of adventure and travel. He found a kindred spirit with you. 

He invited you to sit with him and his friends during lunch, sat next to you on the bus, helped you with your homework, and showed up at your doorstep with the newest dvds his dad had purchased so you could spend the weekend binge-watching movies.

When you were in high school, your dad finally retired from the military and you moved for the final time to your dad’s hometown in New Jersey. Tom was sad, staying with you until the car came to take you and your family to the airport. But he promised he would visit you often, and he never turned back on that promise. He would visit you during school breaks and even when his career took off, he always found a way to be there for you. 

When you moved to New York a couple years ago, he rented an apartment a few blocks away from you. Albeit it was much nicer than yours, he was always very modest. He said it was convenient for his career since he had a lot of appearances in the city.

He shifts his body a bit to get comfortable, keeping a healthy distance between you two. He closes his eyes and tries to fall asleep, trying to keep any sexual thoughts of you at bay.

After a few minutes, you roll over on your side. He could sense you looking at him so he opens an eye and turns his head towards you before giving you a small smile.

“I see you staring, stop being such a creep,” he teases, trying to lighten up the mood, noticing the visible tension between you both.

“I can’t help it, my best friend is becoming such an adult.”

“Loading the dishwasher and taking out the trash hardly means I’m ready to be off my parents’ phone plan,” he laughs.

You smile and nudge his shoulder playfully. You let your hand linger for a moment, tracing his arm with delicate circles.

“Hey Tom?”

“Hmm?”

“C-can I ask you something?”

“You are asking me something,” he smirks.

You purse your lips and shake your head. “Forget it then,” you say in mock exasperation.

“C’mon, I was just kidding. What’s up,” he asks, motioning for you to continue.

“D-do you think I’m a selfish person?”

Tom rolls over so he’s also on his side facing you. He leans himself up on his elbow and knits his brows.

“What? Of course not. Why would you even ask that?”

You pause for a moment before responding. “So… I lied earlier. I am in a little bit of a mood… but you reassured me that I’m just being crazy and maybe it’s just more hormonal crap that I’m going through so I’ll just drop it,” you ramble.

He eyes you carefully and says your name in a low tone. You bite your lip. You knew you couldn’t not tell him.

“I… I saw Alexis the other day.”

Tom sighs heavily, scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” you continue, “I didn’t want to upset you… but I saw her at Madewell, and well… I shouldn’t have even gone in there anyways because I don’t fit into anything they’re selling so that was a boo-boo on my end, and then I saw her at the register. I immediately tried to avoid her but then she saw me and chased me out of the store and said some pretty mean stuff and… and it just got to me.”

It’s a rush of words and you feel like you can finally exhale a bit at your admission. You knew how Tom felt about her and how upset he was at the demise of their relationship. You didn’t want to bring up old wounds but you also wanted to be open and honest with him. He had volunteered to be the father of your child afterall.

Alexis always hated your friendship with Tom. She constantly thought you were trying to steal him away from her, waiting for your moment to take him all for yourself. ‘You honestly didn’t think that big,’ you would laugh.

You tried to get along with her for Tom’s sake. You went shopping together, invited her to brunch with your friends, and even bought her nice birthday and Christmas presents. You really made a genuine effort, knowing it made Tom happy to see his girlfriend and his best friend getting along.

But you also knew there was also an unsaid tension between you that you couldn’t shake. She didn’t like that you and Tom hung out alone, that you would text each other all day, and that you would FaceTime him to vent about the attorneys at your office treating you like shit.

You couldn’t blame her though. Instead of having 100% of his attention, she had to share it with you. 

Tom reaches over and places his hand over yours. “You shouldn’t listen to what she says. You know how things ended with her… she’s just not over it and it probably makes her feel better to attack you then to face whatever issues she has.”

You remember it quite well. Tom had just told her that he wanted to help raise your baby, be your baby’s father, and she completely threw a fit. There was a lot of screaming and crying. 

‘No way, Tom,’ she screamed, throwing her hands in the air. ‘No way are you going to be in her life like that.’

Tom tried to explain to her that you needed him, and that your baby needed a father. He tried to make her understand, but she also tried to make him understand too. She didn’t want to be a mother, let alone some surrogate step-mother. She didn’t want to see him doting on another woman, caring for her and playing house with her. She didn’t want a part-time boyfriend.

And you knew she had a point. She wasn’t a villain in any of this. She loved Tom and she knew he would never love her as much as a child that he was willing to raise with another woman.

So when she yelled at you outside on the corner of 5th Avenue and West 19th Street, you didn’t really defend yourself. She was still grieving the loss of her relationship just like you had. The only difference was that you had Tom and she had no one.

“I know, but… I feel like everything she said was right. I feel like I cornered you into this, that I’m making you be a dad when it’s not your responsibility. This isn’t your baby.” 

Tom can’t stop the feeling of hurt overcome him, and you see it in his body language. You immediately feel a pang of regret.

You shake your head. “Tom, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it like that.”

Tom licks his lips and shakes his head. He places a hand on your belly. “This baby is mine is every way that matters, okay? Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

You try to turn away, but he touches your face to make you look at him. 

“I’m here because I want to be here,” he continues. “Even if you fall in love again... get married… I’ll always be this baby’s father, and I’ll always be in your lives.”

You feel your heart swell at his omission, your eyes watering. You’ve always loved Tom, but this… this made you feel like you were floating on a cloud. Even your ex didn’t make you feel this loved by a man.

Tom lifts up your shirt to reveal your stomach. He glances down and sees that he’s also revealing your underwear. He gulps and quickly brings his eyes back up to your middle.

He presses his ear against your belly and closes his eyes, listening to the baby’s movements. The sound of him breathing fills the room and you both just lay there, enjoying the sensation. After a few moments, he lifts his head up and smiles at you. You can’t help but smile back.

He lifts his hand and cups your face. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I… I love you too,” you choke out.

He begins to move away from you but you grab his hand and entwine your fingers with his. He tilts his head and watches as you move his hand back to your stomach. He instinctively rubs your belly, but you bite your lip and shake your head.

You feel a rush of emotions. You’re breathing heavily, panting almost. You don’t know what you’re doing, and it feels like your hormones are kicked up to high gear. You feel needy and wanting, loved and secure. Tom had always been there for you. 

You had noticed the way he had started looking at you. He tried to be inconspicuous, but his gaze always lingered on you. You never addressed it though, not wanting things to be weird. You had lost your boyfriend, you didn’t want to lose your best friend too.

But tonight you wanted him to be more than your best friend. You feel butterflies in your belly, and it wasn’t from the baby. 

He tilts his head. “What is it?”

You move his hand down to the waistband of your underwear and you can see his entire body tense. He stares at you, mouth open and eyes wide. You don’t have to say anything, your actions saying enough.

“A-are you sure?” he stutters.

You touch his face, tracing his bottom lip with your thumb before nodding.

“I… I don’t know about this... you’re my best friend and you’re pregnant...”

You place a finger to his lips. “Please, Tom. I’ve seen the way you look at me. I want to make you feel good as good as you make me feel.”

“But you don’t…”

“Shhh… please.”

Tom’s body slumps a bit, a sign of him finally relenting to your advances. 

You lean in slowly.

“I just don’t want you to regret this,” he whispers against your lips.

You don’t respond, instead slowly pulling him down for a kiss, your lips pouty and eager. It’s gentle and tentative at first, two best friends exploring each other’s mouths for the first time. You place a hand on the back of his neck to bring him in closer to you. 

The kiss quickly turns more passionate, your mouth opening to allow his tongue to tangle with yours. You stay like that for a few minutes, just kissing and groping each other. You pull away suddenly and Tom groans at the loss of contact. You reach down and grab the bottom of your shirt, lifting it up and over your head. 

You toss it to the ground beside you and you hook your fingers underneath the waistband of your panties, shucking them down your legs. You look up over at Tom who’s staring at you, admiring your naked form. 

Your breasts have gotten bigger and denser since you got pregnant. Your nipples becoming larger and more pronounced as well. You begin to blush, thinking about how monstrous you must look. You start to cover yourself with your hands but Tom practically jumps on you, placing his mouth over yours in reassurance. 

You place your hands on the waistband of his shorts and push them down his legs, your mouth not leaving his. He kicks him off and pulls away for a moment to remove his shirt. You eye his muscles, reaching out to feel them underneath your fingers. He feels firm yet soft. His chest hairless and smooth. You had seen him shirtless plenty of times, but this was different... intimate. You run your hands down his body, savoring every ripple and touching every freckle. 

Tom looks at your hungrily. He places a hand on one of your naked breasts, kneading it carefully with his fingers. His touch is gentle as he explores your body, gripping your side and playing with your breast. Your hand finds his hard, slick cock and you touch it tentatively. He pushes his hips toward you, granting you permission to continue. You hold onto his cock more firmly and give it a few stokes. He closes his eyes and moans above you.

“K-keep going,” he hisses in pleasure.

You continue to pump his cock, your hand wet with his juices. You feel yourself moisten, wanting him buried inside you. You’ve craved this for so long, not having contact with another man since your ex left you. You touched yourself at night, making yourself cum with your fingers. But you missed a man’s touch, the feeling of naked skin against skin, and having a hard cock pumping in and out of you. 

“Please, Tom… I need you,” you groan.

Tom’s heartbeat begins to race and his breathing increases as he comes to grips with what was about to happen. He was going to fulfill a fantasy that he’s had for months. He blinks repeatedly hoping this isn’t a dream. He leans down and kisses you. 

“Straddle me,” he commands against your lips. You can’t help but smirk. Once you let go of him, Tom grabs your hips and swiftly lifts you, placing you on top of him. He runs a hand down your spine and you instinctively shiver. 

“Cold?”

He rubs his hands up and down your arms. You shake your head. A piece of loose hair covers your face and Tom reaches out to tuck it behind your ear, his hand lingering to comb his fingers through your mane. You lean down, balancing yourself on your arms as you kiss him. 

He keeps his hand entwined in your hair as he grabs your butt and positions your dripping pussy over his erect cock. Pulling his lips from yours, he kisses along your collarbone making you shiver and moan.

Your hand closes around his cock and you brush it across your inflamed clit making him jump a little before placing the head at your opening. He pulls back and looks up at you, placing his hands on your face.

“Are you ready?” he asks. “There’s no turning back after this.”

You understand what he means. You were about to cross a major line in your relationship. A line that you had never once crossed before. 

But you had already opened Pandora’s box, and there was no putting whatever you had released back inside. You were too far gone now, lust and longing taking over you. 

You nod eagerly, and he strokes your face.

“I love you,” he states. “I’ve always loved you.”

You want to ask him what he means but you’re mind is clouded by the thought of having his cock buried inside you. Instead you merely respond, “I love you too,” saving that conversation for later.

Tom removes his hands from your face, placing them on your hips. He breathes in and out before thrusting upward, slowly impaling you on his cock. He groans loudly, feeling how incredibly tight you are. You moan and bury your face in his chest. You keep your butt firmly against his thighs, giving yourself time to accommodate his thick member. Both of his hands patiently rest on your hips, waiting for a sign that you are ready to continue. 

He was in no hurry though, your snug warmth held him tight, the occasional flutter from your vaginal muscles rippling up his shaft. He was in heaven. 

After a few moments, you begin to move, slowly at first, your hips rocking back and forward in a rolling motion. You raise your head from his chest, rubbing your cheek against his. Your breathing is elevated but steady as your movements become more confident. 

“Oh… God… yes,” you pant.

You press down while moving your hips backward, grinding your clit into his pubic bone. You then rise up an inch or so, digging his cock into your g-spot as it withdraws. You rock forward, dropping your erect clit back into place against his pubic bone. 

“Oh God, you feel so good inside me,” you purr, your words adding strength to his hard-on. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grimaces in pleasure.

You bring your lips to his and kiss him deeply. He stabs his tongue between your parted lips, your tongues twisting and coiling in a heated battle. Tom grabs your swaying breast, rolling your nipple between his fingers. You break your kiss with a sudden gasp. Your hip thrusts are now reaching an urgent tempo as you feel your orgasm about to break through. Your nails sink into his arms as you throw your head back and cry out in ecstasy. Your grip on Tom’s cock subsequently tightens, making him moan. 

"OH… GOD… OH GOD… I'm cumming!” you scream.

Tom raises his hips to give you a firmer surface to grind your clit into as you ride out your orgasm. Your shrieks and moans rise and fall with the waves of pleasure washing over you. Tom holds onto your sweat-slicked breasts, attempting to continue stimulating you. 

Your movements change, driving yourself up and down on his throbbing member. This triggers a second orgasm, not as powerful as the last but equally as pleasurable. You keep bouncing, riding out the last aftershocks until you’re out of breath before collapsing against Tom, who lets go of your chest. 

You breathe in and out, trying to regulate your breathing. He runs his hand up and down your back soothingly.

“This feels so good,” you coo, snuggling into him. 

“Well I hope cumming like that felt good.”

“That wasn’t what I was talking about… it’s this,” you say, snuggling in closer. “I’ve missed this. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone... it’s just been so lonely.”

“It’s okay,” he says, placing a kiss on your cheek. “I understand.”

“Have you been with anyone since…”

You can feel Tom shaking his head. “No… I… I got too preoccupied with you and the baby that sex was the farthest thing from my radar.”

He smooths your sweaty, matted hair from your face and kisses your forehead. 

“I’m so thirsty,” you breathe, and he nods.

You sit up straight and dismount him momentarily. He sighs at the feeling of him slipping from your warmth. He sits up on his elbows as he watches you waddle out of the bedroom, your butt swaying with each movement. 

“Stay right there, lover-boy,” you call out over your shoulder before disappearing down the hallway.

His body slumps back onto the mattress and he breathes out deeply, a smile creeping onto his face. He looks down and sees his cock standing straight up, dripping with your juices. He bites his lip, realizing his need for release. 

You rejoin him on the bed a moment later, a glass of water in your hand. You take a sip, some water dribbling down your chin. He thinks you look so cute. You notice him looking at you and you remove the glass from your lips, frowning slightly.

“I look like a total mess, huh?”

Tom shakes his head and laughs.

“Not at all. I think you look like a well-fucked woman actually.”

Now it was your turn to laugh.

“Sure sure. Drink up, bud. It’s good for you.”

You pass him the glass and he takes it from you. He didn’t realize how thirsty he was as he gulps down the water. Once he’s done, he tries to hand the glass back to you but you just place a hand up, signaling that you’re done with it. He places it on the table beside him and lays back down, arms crossed behind his head.

You give him a peck on the lips before straddling him again, this time facing away from him.

“I want to do it like this,” you say, guiding his cock back inside you. You both groan in unison as he slides back in. “That way you don’t have to look at my fat stomach,” you add with a weak chuckle.

“Shut it,” he retorts. He sits up a bit and wraps his arms around your middle, running his hands over your swollen tummy. “You’re not fat. Don’t put yourself down like that. You’re absolutely, positively beautiful.”

“Psshhh, you have to say that.”

“I don’t have to say anything. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

You shake your head, a blush creeping on your cheeks. He places a hand on your cheek and turns your face towards him.

“Really… I mean it.”

You look into his eyes, enjoying the closeness and his loving words. You open your mouth to say something but then you feel his hard, throbbing cock pressing into your g-spot. “Ohhhh,” you moan.

He lets go of your stomach and slides his hands to rest on your hips. You sit up and begin bouncing on his cock. You lift your arms, running your hands through your hair. You flip it over one shoulder, looking back at him with a sly smile. He feels like he’s going to cum at that moment. 

You clench as tight as possible when you lift off his thighs, relaxing your grip momentarily when the head of his cock is just inside you. Then you clamp down and drop your weight into his lap, sending his eyes rolling in his head.

Tom is thrusting his hips in time with your movements. He can feel the pressure building in his balls and he knows it won’t be long before he came. You seem to read his mind, altering your rhythm to push him more toward the edge. Your body begins to tense and you know you’re about to cum again. You fall forward, supporting yourself with your arms, you butt bouncing with urgent need. His hand finds your clit and your body instantly begins to seize up. 

“Oh yes, Tom… that’s it, play with my clit… I’m, I’m almost there,” you groan, bouncing onto his lap faster. “Oh… oh yes, I’m cumming again!”

Tom is in complete ecstasy watching you cum. You’re panting wildly and moaning as you drive yourself down on his stiff cock and your convulsing pussy sends Tom over the edge. 

He can feel his balls tighten and his cock swell as the familiar surge of orgasmic energy radiates throughout his body. 

"Oh baby… I'm gonna cum… I’m gonna… cum!”

“Yes, cum for me… that’s it, Tom,” you encourage.

He pumps into you frantically, thrusting into you even after his balls have emptied. You finally collapse backwards, your back pressed firmly against his heaving chest. You can feel the layer of sweat covering your bodies start to cool. 

His arms encircle you, holding you tightly against him while his cock continues to pulse inside your quaking pussy. After a minute or so, you pull your body off of him and fall to his side. You curl into a fetal position, tugging the blanket to cover your nakedness, again self-conscious at being so exposed. He wraps his arms around you and you can’t help but revel in his embrace as you two drift off to sleep.

Reality could wait until morning.

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[oleanderblume]

Okay. Time to talk about it.

For reasons.

So, as anyone who actually pays attention to the posts I make knows, I have DID and right now things aren't going so great so I'm just gonna scream into the void about it. Tw: csa cp sa and other not fun stuff.

So. I'm writing a book series, and at some point while I was writing my books, the main characters of the series ended up being introject alters in my whole ass head.

I didn't want that. Or ask for it. It just happened.

The reason I don't want that is because it makes me not want to write anymore because now those people are literally walking around in my head and its not fun. Also they are kids and my brain is not kid friendly. Or me friendly.

I don't know how they formed but I do have an inkling as to why, my theory is 1 and 2

1. The alters already existed but wanted an easy face so they took the ones I already made and rolled with it

2. The alters hadn't been formed yet but due to exterior stresses they DID form and now I've gotta deal with that.

The first theory is the most likely tho.

Anyways, this happened, I am upset by it. I am in a bunch of groups on fb for DID so I post about it (vaguely because I genuinely thought that this was sort of common but apparently it is NOT) the group i posted in had some assholes 8n the administration as well as.members who took it upon themselves to take my rather vague post about introjects and turned it into a huge mess,.claiming that I was faking having DID and that I was just making up imaginary friends. Despite the fact that the post itself alluded in NO WAY that I genuinely wanted this to happen.

I wasn't given an opportunity to explain myself, and the admin kicked me from the group. So I made another post in the sister group EXPLAINING why I was upset and what was going on and I STILL GOT MADE FUN OF, ridiculed, and my experiences invalidated. Even when I told them that I work for 11 hrs and don't have ample time to dawdle on fb groups. The admin offered to let me back into the other group but I decided to leave both of them because it is simply ridiculous that I should be completely ousted for not fitting into their idealized version of what DID is when it is such a subjective experience for everyone with it. Also one person was just a major fucking asshole to me for no good reason and I wanted to get away from them.

It was a waste of my time and added stress I really didn't need, and on top of that, it gave me LITERALLY NO ADVICE OR VALIDATION for what was ACTUALLY stressing me out.

Also, it made me mad and then Jodie fronted and it was just a big pain in the ass for no real reason.

But the thing is, I still have the same problem. Two fucking kids are running around my head in danger of being caught by a persecutor and being harmed and *I* have to figure out how to wrangle them up. Well, turns out ONE OF THEM IS A MAJOR FUCKING ASSHOLE. Which is my fault because I technically wrote him as an asshole and so his personality reflects that. And also he's 14 and 14 year olds are just a big bag of ducks to everyone. But it gets WORSE. Because he DOESN'T KNOW HES IN A SYSTEM.

So I have a 14 year old jackass running around, with no fucking clue whats going on or where he is, being actively pursued by a persecutor who wants to fucking hurt him >:(

Well, I find him, and he is pissed and won't fucking talk to me because HE doesn't want to be here EITHER. No shit Sherlock. It fucking sucks I know. But he WILL talk to my friends, when he fronts which is WHENEVER APPARENTLY. So he talks to my friends and gradually figures out sort of whats going on but THEN the persecutor (I have named him Bastard for now) gets a hold of him.

Now here is where the trigger warning stuff comes in so don't read this if you don't want to be completely skeezed out.

So..our persecutors have a nasty habit of forcing alters into co-con so they can hurt the body and make *them* feel it. Its really hard to combat and trust me, I'm working on that okay?

They do this to trigger flashbacks and panic attacks and the like because idk, that's probably their fucked up way of saying "hey here is something important you need to know" while also being incredibly fucked up and psychologically damaging to whoever happens to be the target.

Well, Bastard does this to my boy, and here is where things really get into the nitty gritty. So please avert your eyes.

A little backstory. On my trauma (or what I know of it so far cause this shit is like a 3d jigsaw puzzle)

From what I KNOW, and what I've been told by other alters, there is a huge chunk of information missing from when I was about 4-12 (cause my earliest kid memory is from like 12) and that is when I think a lot.of the particularly bad stuff happened. Except we have been trying to figure out what it was for quite a while.

We know it has to do with child pornography. Because Acey, who is 5 has memories of that and Destiny, Siren and Syn all have memories that very specifically depict incidences of cp.

Destiny has memories of being r*ped with coke bottles, and being locked in a bathroom that was converted into a dark room (we think that's how The Other One was formed, from the reflection you saw in the mirror) we know this because she kept a detailed journal of when the first persecutor showed up, Fear, and he did that thing i was talking about earlier.

Another thing about Destiny is that when she first started fronting, she was 100% certain she was not Destiny, and was *deadname*. Fear was the one who named her and only ever referred to her as Destiny.

I'm not sure about Syn because they are a cat and only talk in third person with rudimentary English, but they fucking HATE men. And Siren is a fallen angel that very explicitly talks about being too "impure" for God.

And Acey has memories of being drugged and assaulted. (Her name is literally short for Acetaminophen so...)

At this point (around sophomore year) the picture we have is that there was some csa and cp, but no perps.

However, we gained two alters at some point that could have clued us in on stuff.

Eleanor, a little who is about 4-5 years old has memories of being told to play faries with an older person, and to build her own imaginary world. And then Mockingbird. An alter who purposefully mimics other alters and lives in annual hospital.

Thing about mockingbird though, is that she has a phone in her room that is ALWAYS ringing, but whenever she answers it, the voices on the other side are unintelligible. And so is she, when she talks at least. Most of the time. She only sounds like a regular person when she pretends to be a different alter.

BUT the thing is, there had been a bunch of other stuff that hadn't correlated to this, at first we thought it may have been some sort of ritual abuse? Because in like 2017/18 an feral alter (and I mean completely animalistic, growling biting and clawing at stuff) surfaced that only spoke backwards and was also named Satan. They looked like a typical humanoid goat demon ram person thing (?)

SO to figure shit out, we send Anon (short for Anonymous) to look around the mindspace and figure out what the fuck is going on. They find this WALL. Its a huge ass brick wall, at the edge of the garden, and it circles around the entire northern hemisphere of the planet (our mindspace is a planet)

And it has a bunch of paper plastered over it saying "the rules" of the system. But no one can fucking read them. Yay. Also, Esz did some investigating of the wall himself and that's how he got caught by Controller and made feral.

And since they started fronting AFTER Esz came around, we figured oh, something is up here?? Because Esz is also a demon alter.

Well, uh, turns out there was another persecutor (aptly named Controller) in control of Satan and they were targeting Esz this time around, and the two of them integrated. Esz is still around, Satan is basically no more. Well, not really. Because now Esz is also fucking feral. Which was really stressful because having your primary protector and system manager be a fucking screeching demon beast is uh..not fun. We luckily got that under control tho (thank fucking god) but now Esz has these memories of being r*ped which is great because he is the epitome of masculinity (I jest the boy eats fucking vegan chicken with spicy ketchup wtf) but this time we get some sort of insight into Satan's (and probably Esz's) creation cause the memories involve this random ass fat guy (don't recall them mentioning seeing his face) but he was this tail kink or some shit and had a really long tail but plug and made Esz act like a literal animal to get is nasty ass rocks off.

At this point, we aren't 100% sure what's going on. Because we've got these two very conflicting narratives and one of them has what we think are religious undertones while the other has obvious cp.

And now that Esz is (as far as I'm aware) back to normal, he knows more information because to make him feral, Controller had to bring him BEHIND the wall.

So Esz informs us that the wall has a bunch of layers, and there are a shit ton of other alters back there but none of them have faces. AND there are OTHER PERSECUTORS back there, who all work in tandem with eachother in some sort of hierarchy. All led by someone called The Puppeteer.

Thats all the information we have on anything past the wall :/

BUT THEN somewhere down the line, we get another little, and their name is Penut. Which is IMPORTANT because that was the nickname we had as a little kid by our NEIGHBOR Beverly. And Penut has some unpleasant csa memories FROM BEVERLY.

At the time, we just thought "oh great, so we can add that to the stack of BULLSHIT" and didn't think much further on it.

BUT ALSO, this was around the time our sister (bio sister) came into the picture and learned about some of the stuff and she very VERY specifically says that she thinks Beverly had a major role in us developing DID. Again at the time I'm like "well yeah, if Penuts memories are true then she definitely had a role" but none of us are really even venturing further on the topic. Because we are sort of distracted by having TWO persecutors and A FERAL FUCKING PROTECTOR ALTER.

Obviously though, things cool down a whole lot more. Its good, things are great.

Until Oliver pops up.

SO NOW WE ARE BACK AT THE PRESENT MIND YOU.

There is another persecutor, he is really annoying. He is hurting my newest/possibly older but only recently resurfaced alter. And GUESS WHAT HE MAKES HIM SEE.

☆this is legitimately disturbing so please be warned☆

Bastard does his thing and Ols has a very visceral flashback- i know what happened in it because he literally wrote about it because he was convinced it was important, which it IS.

In this flashback, he is obviously me, being r*ped. But this time for some reason, the person doing the r*ping is making him look at him, so he sees this guys face. Which has never EVER happened in a flashback before. Especially to the point where you actually REMEMBER WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. The guy has green eyes, and a beard, like a scruffy longer one. And while this is happening, at some point, Ols overhears ANOTHER PERSON in the room. A woman. And it's Beverly.

I know it's Beverly because he mentions in his recount that she called him Penut.

And she is working a hand held camera, and there is another one on a stand that is like, hooked up to a television, replaying what is being recorded.

At some point he's made to face the TV, like sitting on beard guys lap or something to watch and Beverly is just casually talking to beard guy, literally telling him to hurry the fuck up because there's gonna be another "session" after this one.

They start talking about what they are going to do next (with me/Ols) and mention the next "client" and then using a tail and making me act like an animal, and then other things like using laxatives, other kinds of drugs and even using other kids. They talk about how the video won't have sound, so none of what they are saying is going to be recorded too. Beverly at one point walks up to him, close to the end I think, and is like really close to his face, and this is when she calls him Penut, and talks about how much money she's going to make (or something like that, Ols is giving me the details as I'm writing)

Then beard guy makes him come and moves him again so he can't see the TV or Beverly and then beard guy finishes his shit and Ols overhears Beverly say that they next person is almost here and he needs to go now.

Then the flashback is over and Bastard says "this is why you are here" or something along those lines, and Ols immediately (well, probably after a little mental breakdown) writes all this shit down and sends it to two of my friends in a message (im so sorry about that guys)

Then I find put about it, have a really bad time, but now I'm in puzzle mode and all the peices are starting to fit together.

So...from what we have of Oliver's flashback, Beverly is a main perp, and was basically pimping us out to folks for cash while taping it and putting it put for other folks to purchase.

Esz and Satan being feral are because the next "session" involved someone with a gross animal kink. And that can ALSO account for Syn, because she is a literal animal. Her mention of drugs can easily coincide with Acey's memories.

And Destiny's coincide with the cp in general as well as probably someone who was sadistic enough to shove fucking glass bottles inside people.

Im not 100% where Eleanor fits in, but it can easily be suggested that she came about when shit first started to get real bad. And Penut, well, I'm pretty certain that she was THE FIRST alter. And probably what gave Beverly the idea in the first place (I'm not sure because most of Penuts memories were when we had sleepovers at Beverlys but it makes a lot of sense if she were the first of us and her compliance gave Beverly the opportunity to take further advantage)

Mockingbird hearing voices through the phone could be conversations that Beverly and other people were having during "sessions"

And the persecutors. Are modeled. After the different clients (and probably Beverly too) that had come and gone.

And the wall probably has a metric fuck ton of other alters back there with other horrific experiences and memories waiting to be slowly leaked out along with this tier list of persecutors modeled after their respective abusers and the puppeteer is probably an introject OF BEVERLY.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Of course, this is all speculation and it can completely change course at the drop of a fucking hat but I have NEVER EVER been so certain in my LIFE that this is what happened. Like..it makes too much sense?!

[joonieflower-archive]

Playboy!Namjoon Pt. 5

Pt. 1 / Pt. 2 / Pt. 3 / Pt. 4/ Pt. 5/ Pt. 6/ Pt. 7/ Pt. 8/ Pt 9

{Warning: smut ahead!}

When Namjoon opened the door to your apartment (he had the code to the lock, having come too many times while you were taking a shower for you to even bother to go and answer it) you were already lying down on the couch, cheek pressed against a pillow. eyes staring unfocused at the television. You were still wearing the same black velvet dress from the award show, the one with a slit down your thighs that all the netizens were talking about, complimenting you on you “charismatic and chic” persona.

You didn’t feel chic right now, nor charismatic. Just cold.

You look up when you hear him walking towards you, managing to give him one of your bright smiles, the one that always made his heart stop for a little bit. Kneeling in front of you, he moved a stray strand of hair away from your face.

“Joonie,” you said, tone tinted slightly of surprise. “You really came.”

“Of course I would come, you asked me to. Is something wrong?” he asks, voice gentle.

You shake your head no ”Just felt really lonely.” your hands go to his now brown hair, running your fingers through his bangs. “ Did you had time to shower? Your hair was up before. You look cute with your bangs like this.”

He bats your hands away playfully, “I'm not cute. Don't try to change the subject. Are you okay?”  

Your smile slowly fades away as you stare at the floor again. Biting your lips still red tinted, you sit up. “It's stupid.” another sigh as you looked up at him again. “I shouldn't have made you come here, you have a flight tomorrow.”

“Hey.” He whispers as he leans forward, holding your legs in place with both his arms so that you wouldn't walk away. “You're the one who said we could talk too. I'm always the one complaining about something to you, let me hear you out too. If it's bothering you It isn't stupid.”

Maybe it was a leader trait, this ever-present willingness to listen to other people problems. You did the same thing with your dongsaengs, always offering a shoulder to cry on or a piece of advice. Or maybe it was just a Namjoon thing, you thought briefly, this ability to be so nice all the time.

Taking a deep breath, you begin. “It's - I… I saw my ex today, it bothered me, that's all. Our breakup wasn't pretty, he said some pretty awful things to me, I guess I remembered it when I saw him.” you laugh a little. “ See, it's silly. I just couldn't talk about this with Jackson because he always looks like he blames himself for introducing us. ”

Namjoon seemed to ponder it for a few seconds, brown scrunching just like when he was upset about something.

“It's not silly, it's okay to feel upset about something that hurt you before. Did you loved him?”

You were silent for a second.

“No.” you finally answered. “Not really. But I guess that it was just a matter of time.But it’s stupid of me. I won an award today for Christ's sake, I shouldn't be feeling down about something like this. “

He shrugged a full body shrug, smiling his dimply smile at you. “Even if you have a hundred things to feel happy about It's more than okay for you to feel that way. He hurt you, you don't have to invalidate your feelings about it.”

You throw a pillow at him, laughing more wholeheartedly. “Why do you make everything sound so easy?”

“Because it is.” he whispers dramatically, “Now come on, you look exhausted, let's get you to bed.”

“I’m not sleepy yet”

Namjoon smirked at you, and suddenly he didn’t look so cute anymore. He’s got the same look he always has before kissing you like he’s seeing something that was his, that he couldn’t wait to touch again. “I didn’t say you were supposed to sleep. Come, angel, I’m gonna make you feel better.”

He grabs your hands, tugging you to follow him to your bedroom. You were sure that he could find it even in his sleep by now, after almost 2 months of doing this thing. These hookups. Encounters. Whatever the name. It wasn’t always you two had sex though, sometimes he came when his dorm was being too much for him, when he needed a break from taking care of 6 people daily, of making sure they were all happy. Sometimes he even worked through some song lyrics on your bed, while you were typing some essay for your university.

Closing the door behind him, he brings his body closer to yours, his eyes trained on you as you gulp audibly when his hand squeezes your waist, warmth seeping to your skin even over the fabric. He licks his lips, and you brace yourself for the feeling of his plump lips on yours. He kissed like he rapped, which wasn’t so surprising come to think about it. His mouth is soft at first, moving rhythmically, suck and biting, just to become more powerful, his tongue sneaking into your mouth, deepening the kiss, becoming even more dominant. It’s enough to send heath to your core with the memory of what the same tongue could make you feel when placed elsewhere.

His hands continue to roam your body over the stupidly expensive dress, now one of them cupping one of your breasts, the other going to your butt to do the same thing, pulling your hips flush against his in the midst of the action. He hummed in approval as he squeezed it; Namjoon was, after all, a butt person. And you weren’t shy to admit that you had a great one.

“Do you know how sexy you were today when you walked over to receive your award? This dress is so tight on you, angel, everybody was talking about how great your ass looked. And about how great of a leader you are. Your girls are so lucky to have you. do you know that? ”

Like always, a shiver ran down your spine with the compliment, your breathing catching in your throat. “You’re so perfect, and beautiful, and so, so talented.”  He presses his lips to your neck, kissing all the expense of it lightly. “Your voice is so incredible, all your songs are so good, even if they're covers. You make every song you sing into a piece of art. Just like you.”

He kisses across your collarbones, moving the thin straps of your dress away from your shoulders, biting and sucking your skin with care so as to not leave any incriminatory marks behind. You let out a little whine when he presses you even closer to him, feeling him against you. He was such a sweet talker, becoming shameless since he found out about how much you liked being praised.

“And your body, god. You’re so fucking sexy, Y/N. You drive me insane.”

Turning you around,  he continues to kiss the back of your neck, his hands moving painfully slow tracing the side of your hips to your zipper, pulling it slowly down. Your heart was beating so hard you were sure Namjoon could hear, could feel. You needed him, and he was being so damn slow it was driving you insane.

When your dress finally falls around your feet you step out of it, turning at him to look at how his eyes darken as he takes in your matching white lace bra and panties. His eyes so dark, two slits of pure black, making it impossible to discern between pupil and iris. He watches you hungrily as you take a step closer to him, lacing your arms around his neck,  getting on your toes to do so because he was taller than you. You push him until he steps back, knees against your bed, where you press his shoulders down until he sits. You lean down, eyes level with him once again, knowing that this position gives him a full view of boobs. One of your hands trails down his chest, his lean and defined abdomen, till your fingers are slowly running through his crotch, palming ever so lightly over his stupid vintage Levis that shouldn’t look good on him but he somehow made look sexy.

“Did I thank you yet for catching me before I fell face first on the floor, Namjoonie?”

He grabs the wrist from your hand supporting yourself on his shoulder, making you lean ever more on him, your face now just a couple inches away from his. “Why,” he asks very lowly, voice hoarse from all the singing he did today and from desire, his dark eyes never leaving yours. “do you call Jackson oppa but keep calling me Namjoonie? You’re younger than me.”

You smirk, undoing his zipper and feeling him through his boxers now. “I’m literally just two months younger than you, and I know him longer. Why, are you jealous, oppa?”

His breath hitches at the honorific at the same time his cock twitches beneath your hand. Your eyes widen at the same time as his, your shit eating grin already in place.

“Really? Oppa kink?”

“If I’m not allowed to kink shame you, you aren’t too.” he groans, pulling you to his lap, flipping you over so that he’s now the one towering over you. “You can be such a brat, angel.”

You gulp loudly at the pressure of his hips between your legs. You tug at his moss green sweater, trying to look at him innocently. “Oppa, take off your clothes, please. I wanna see you.”

He runs his lips smoothly over your jawline, until his lips are close to your ear, making your toes curl when he answers, “Not yet. It’s about you today, baby. Let me take care of you first. I want to see you asking nicely again for what you want.”

Like in a trance, you didn’t even notice his hands on the seams of your underwear until he slipped one finger over your sex, making you forget to breathe for a second. He groaned against your neck when he realized how wet you were already, his finger slipping in without any difficulty, his thumb massaging your clit at the same time agonizingly slowly. A small whine slipped past your lips as the sensitivity began to set in. He kissed you again deeply, his mouth on your demanding as you moaned loudly, hungrily taking all the noises you were making as he fastened his pace.

But every time you were close to your release he slowed down, making you whine in annoyance, trying to move your hips against his fingers as he chuckled against your mouth, taking pleasure in your suffering.

You remembered then what he said. The motherfucker wanted you to beg for him to fuck you.

And with how he was teasing you, working you up to the point of tears start to form beneath your eyelids with how intense it was getting before he stopped, you weren’t beneath begging.

“Please, Namjoon.” You gasped as he added a third finger slowly, “Please, oppa.”

He looked at you, fringe clinging to his forehead, sweat starts to form at his temples. “You have to be more specific, tell me what you want baby girl.”

“I-fuck- want you. I want you to fuck me, please, oppa.”

He gives you his predatory smile again, “I knew you knew how to ask nicely. It’ll be my pleasure.”

This time he lets you take off his sweater, shirt going together as he slides his pants down, kicking it out of the bed. Like he had done so many times before, he reaches for the first drawer, fishing a condom out. As he pumped his cock a couple of times, you quickly got rid of your lingerie as well. You pushed him down, his head hitting your pillow as you straddled him. To give him a taste of his own medicine, you slowly ease yourself on his cock, hands on his chest giving you the much-needed support as your legs trembled.

“How can you still be so tight after all the times I’ve fucked you?” Both his hands came to rest on your hips as you rolled them, pretending to settle a steady rhythm first just to go agonizingly slow, just like his fingers were doing to you. Keeping your eyes open you watched as he threw his head back, cursing lowly as he moaned your name. His hands now on your ass pushed you down harder against him, quickening your movements, making you momentarily forget that this was your payback. You leaned forward, pulling him into a heated kiss, moaning loudly.

With a whine, you took his hands away from your hips, rolling your hips even more slowly. He opened his eyes, watching as you smiled down at him. Realization passed through his eyes as he huffed indignantly.

Roughly, he dragged you away from him, slipping from beneath you as he makes go on all fours, smacking your ass as he did so. “Don’t tease me, Y/N.” He grunted as he entered you from behind, this position making him go so much deeper, hitting your G spot with each thrust, his movements deep and powerful, making your walls clench around him at the same time a loud moan escaped your lips. Namjoon was a quick learner, and he had learned all the best ways to make you beg in no time since you both started this thing.

“Oppa, please, I’m so close…”

He leans forward, his hand sneaking between your folds as he moaned into your ear in time with you. “Baby, you feel so good. You take oppa’s cock so well, such a good girl. Can you cum for me? Come on, angel, I know you can, you’re doing so wel-”

His words were stopped by the huskiest grunt you ever heard him make as you clenched even more around him, hitting your orgasm with full force, your whole body shaking. You could feel his cock inside of you shooting his cum inside the condom as he continued to thrust, riding both of your orgasms out.

You fell face first on your pillows, breathing raggedly as he rolled out of you to your side, pushing you closer to him.

“Fuck,” you manage to let out after a few seconds, “how is it possible that you make me cum harder every time?”

He chuckles at the top of your head. “It's a gift, don’t question it. We should take a shower and put some more ice on your ankle now, though. I completely forgot about it in the heat of the moment.”

You nodded against his chest, feeling his heart still beating rapidly against your cheeks. “It’s not that bad, actually. It barely even swollen. But a shower sounds nice, you should definitely give me a shower.”

He let out his full laugh now, making you smile too as you looked up at him. “You’re such an opportunist, angel.”

“Hey, you’re my oppa, is your duty to take care of me.”

“I did plenty of that just now, you brat.”

You give him your best puppy eyes, making sure to pout a little. Namjoon had very little tolerance for cute things, and like this, naked against him, pouting with kiss-swollen lips, you were probably one of the cutest things he had ever seen.

Not to mention that he knew those same pouting lips also gave the best head he ever had.

Sighing dramatically, he got up, pushing a slightly limping you behind him. Turning the shower on, he motioned for you to get under it as he discarded the condom. You obliged, feeling him settle behind you a few seconds later, hands reaching past you to grab your body wash, lathering it in his hands and massaging it in you, doing the same thing with your shampoo and conditioner, washing away your makeup and all the hairspray the stylist unnie had used on you tonight. Turning around, you do the same to him. In the end, he smells like you as he just simply grabs the shirt he was wearing beneath his sweater and help you into it. It reaches the mid of your thigh, and you can read a faded ‘you got no jams’ printed through its chest, making you chuckle.

Somehow in the last month, he had realized it was a good idea to bring some clothes every time he went to your house, knowing that if he was spotted wearing the same clothes two days in a row people would have a lot to talk about. So he rummages through a neat pile of clothes in the second drawer of your dresser, grabbing one of his sweatpants and quickly putting it on. He disappeared through the bedroom door, and you could faintly hear the sound of your freezer opening and closing. After setting a bag of frozen peas over your pillow-supported ankle, he snuggled next to you, bringing his arms around you to bring you closer.

You took a deep breath, getting hit by how he smelled like you for a painful second, something in your chest tugging a little.

“Do you feel any better?” he asks quietly, hands moving in a circular motion on your shoulder. You nod yes, making him hum a little. “That’s good. You know you can talk to me about anything right?”

“I know.” you were quick assured. “I guess this is the last of you I’ll see for a while huh?”

“Just for a month, then I’ll be back and we can see each other again. I mean, if you still want, y’know.” he blurted out, stuttering a little.

You snuggle even more against him, resting your head against his neck, eyes. “Of course I’ll want.” You purred, “Just don’t forget to use a condom when you hook up with someone overseas, ’kay? I like sucking you off without anything in between.”

“I won’t even have time for that, baby, no need to be jealous.” he jokingly pointed out, yawning after. “ Now go to sleep, we had a pretty busy day today.”

When you didn't mutter a word, he craned his neck to look at you, already sound asleep in his arms. He brings his head down, nose nuzzling against your shoulder. His shirt looked good on you, he thought. He quickly checked his phone.

One message from Jin from over an hour ago. Sighing a little, he opened it.

‘Just tell her, Joon-ah. And don’t forget you have to be here in the afternoon.’

He ignored it, setting his phone on your bedside table, close to your Totoro clock. Closing his eyes, he pulled you a little closer. With his shirt, you smelled faintly of him.

He couldn’t tell you, not when even he wasn’t certain yet. And besides, it wasn’t the right timing, anyway.

********

(a/n: I need some holy water. 

Some feedback would also be good lol I’m not completely confident in my smut writing skill that’s why this is such a mess lmao)

#bts smut #rap monster smut #bts fake texts #bts smut scenarios #namjoon smut #bts fake chat #bts fanfiction #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #bts namjoon fic #playboy namjoon #my fics #bts requests #bts scenarios #bts imagines #idol au

[ghrimmstales]

The Meal

Siobhan: *I heard the shitkickers hitting the stairs leading down to the main floor before I heard his breathing. He sounded worked up like he had lost someone then realized I could be the cause of his elevated heart rate* I'm in the kitchen! *I called out as I turned towards the entrance to be met by the grey gaze of a male who looked… fearful… but it faded as soon as I saw it* I was just hungry and figured you were as well. *I motion towards the pots where I've got the spaghetti ready then I inhale and remember the garlic knots in the oven* Oh shi… *quickly I grab the oven mits and open the door. My protected hands pull the tray out revealing the golden brown and aromatic goodness that I sit on the top of the stove then turns everything off* Please come and join me. *my eyes turn back towards the male standing in the doorway watching me. In that moment I felt nervous, laid bare, like he could read me in ways none other ever had or could. That fact sent my heart into a quicker rhythm as I breathe in more than the aroma of the food, but of him as well* Ghrimm: -My fear of the female being hurt drove me quickly down the stairs, my cheek still burning from the kiss Phebe gave me. “Let her in” Yeah because that is easier said than done. The minute I hit the kitchen my heart dropped to my stomach. She was offering me a meal when I should be feeding her. I'm failing already at this. I stepped behind her, taking the hot pan of garlic knots from her and put them on the counter.- You should still be resting and I should be seeing you fed. Sit please and I will feed you. -Instinct took in as I puttered around her kitchen looking for plates and utensils. Going to the fridge I saw bottled water and a half empty bottle of wine. After last night I'm sure she could use a drink, or several. Again I rummage through her cabinets, finding a wine glass and proceed to pour her some.- Drink, I will get the plate ready for you. Siobhan: B.. But.. *I felt his hands move mine off the pan before I even got a good retort out to him taking over. I'd been raised knowing how my father treated both mahmen and I, but we’d been allowed a modicum of respite to be a tad freer with our movements. Hence why I was a club owner or at least had been. That thought punched me in the gut so that I felt the stab of that Lesser’s blade entering my flesh anew* I am not an invalid and can help. *his grey eyes shot that idea down fast as I took the seat he wanted me to at the table. I was left to watch him rummaging around the kitchen searching for plates, utensils, glasses and then the fridge. I could almost hear the curses as he came up empty here and there, but I knew enough to remain silent outside of motioning to said cabinet or drawer when he glanced my way* Thank you. *my voice was soft when he poured me a glass of wine. My eyes meeting his for an instant before he turned back to fixing our plates* If you’d like there's some tiramisu in the fridge. Be a nice dessert and keep with the italian theme. *I bit my inner cheek when he stood tall. His muscles reacting to the shift so that I could see the warrior training rippling with every step* Ghrimm: -I continued gathering stuff, then went to making up a healthy portion of a plate for her. Making sure she had enough to eat, I placed the plate in front of her and twirled the noodles around the fork. Satisfied there was enough I lifted it to her mouth- Eat Siobhan. Siobhan: *I had never been fed before and was staring wide eyed at Ghrimm for a moment. I was trying to put two and two together before the fork full was held closer to my lips and my stomach rumbled an urgent need to eat* You like having orders followed. Don't you, Ghrimm. *my words get shut off as I open my mouth and place my lips over the fork. Pulling the noodles and sauce off so I can chew all while turning my eyes up at you* Ghrimm: -I snicker softly and refill the fork, giving her another bite before opening a garlic knot and buttering it.- If I ordered you, you would know it Angel. I am simply feeding a female that I care...am caring for. Have you never had a male feed you? -Seeing the wine glass half empty, I go to refill it, pausing for a moment to wipe her lips with the pad of my thumb.- Siobhan: *I had to chew the first mouthful before I could speak, but the brush of his thumb across my lips has words failing me. My heart does a curious stutter before pounding against my breastbone. I can't help but to lick my lips slowly as his words finally settle into my brain. “Did he say ‘care’?”, came the inner voice before the second bite was held before my lips* I've never had a male feed me. It has always been my hand lifting the fork. *I wasn't about to delve further into the facts of my being a virgin in several areas. I was a club owner or had been. I had people I made sure were safe. I knew /of/ the sex act, but had never crossed that threshold. No male had ever made me feel like this male before me was. That tingling warmth spreading between my thighs had me squeezing my knees together in an effort to keep from shifting in my chair as I took the next offered bite* Ghrimm: -I had to hold back a growl when the scent of her arousal hit my nose. Yes she was beautiful but I wasn't sure if I was ready to take that step. Hell, it was taking everything I had to sit here and feed her from my hand. But Phoebe’s words echoed in my brain and that kept me going.- No male has ever taken care of you? You are a female of worth, surely there have been males arranged for you to see. -I lifted the garlic knot to her mouth, her toffee hues pulling me in. They swirled with desire and need. If she only knew how damaged I was inside she would not have those feelings. How was I going to do this?- Siobhan: *as I glanced up into his gray eyes I felt that odd clench sensation in my gut and lower, but forced myself to focus on the food in my mouth before coughing as I literally get choked when he mentions about me having males arranged for me to see. “Me?!”, I thought. Most males shied away from me when they met more or went for the mightier than thou attitude expecting a groveling, weak female to appear. I wasn't raised as such and knew I would have fought tooth and nail against such. Ghrimm was different. He made parts of me come awake places that I didn't know had been asleep until he walked into my life* My parents didn't do such. I saw my father with mahmen, but have never physically experienced it. *I washed down the last bite with some wine that I picked up with far too unsteady a hand for my liking* Ghrimm: - My heart pounded in my chest as I took in her words. “Never experienced it”. She was a virgin. Scribe help me. I inhaled her scent, my cock punching against my leathers. Instinctively I adjusted myself, my eyes never leaving hers.- So let me get this straight, you've never been with a male? Not even through your transition? -I stood as I waited for her response, pacing the small walkway and sending a small prayer to Phebe to give me strength. It was one thing to be with another female. It was another to be with another female that was a virgin. Especially with how I liked sex. Siobhan would want soft and romantic if we ever got to the stage. I, however enjoyed more of the kink. Since Phebe passed unto the Fade, when I needed to feed and a release, I went to the local club. No names, no faces. Masks, gags, ropes….those were what I did. Not flowers and hearts. Fuck me.- Siobhan: *I swallowed hard when I hear the words “never been with a male” fall from Ghrimm’s lips. That along with the way he adjusted himself had me clenching my knees tighter together as heat washed over me from head to toe. I'd opened my big mouth and given out a sacred piece of info about myself so I had to handle this solo* When I transitioned I was fed and seen through it thus, but my virtue remained intact. *as I spoke my knees shift towards one side of my chair. There was something about him that brought out the need to be close, to get to know him. I wanted him in ways no other male had ever made me even contemplate. “Scribe and the powers that be help me”, I prayed in my head as I leaned closer letting myself breathe in his scent* Ghrimm: I….I don't know if I can do this. You've never been with a male, and while I respect that….no. I can't be the one to take it from you. -I scrub my hands over my hand and down my face. How could Phebe tell me it was ok to be with this female when she knew what I was like. I needed to hit something or scream, possibly both with the anger that was rising inside me. Her arousal hit my senses again and I spun around to face her.- Look, I get it, really I do. But you need a male that will give you romance not a broken male who is not into vanilla sex. I'm sorry. I can't… I have to go. I'm sorry about your father and will forever keep him in my mind. Be safe. -I start to walk away, cursing under my breath at myself for being such an ass. Going to the living room, I grab my jacket and weapons and get ready to walk out the door.- Siobhan:*I didn't recoil from his exclamation but rather it spurred me into action. I may not have been physically touched or had that barrier broken inside me, but it didn't mean I was clueless about what I wanted or how I wanted it. I'd seen the sappy chick flicks and had been bored to tears. What got my blood to pumping was the rougher tie me down and submit movies. Not the 50 shades brand of kink but I mean the darker, rougher, oh so not vanilla stuff. So when he marches off out of the kitchen dropping the fork on the floor with a clatter I am startled* Ghrimm?! Wait! *my body is on autopilot as I jump to my feet and run after him. A voice inside my head whispering, “He needs this. Don't let him run away”. I had never heard the voice before but it was feminine and kind with an edge of urgency to it. My feet followed that urging until I grabbed his hands with my smaller ones stilling him for the moment* Forgive me but… *my words stop and I simply act. My hands move to cup his face before I crush my lips to his. I put everything into it going for the shock value of my forwardness* I don't want sappy. I can't stand it. I have never wanted that for myself. For some it works but not me. Do you understand? *I prayed that he did or some force would make him understand* Ghrimm: -I couldn't help but pull her close after the initial shock of her boldness. I forced her lips open with my hungry tongue, moaning at the taste of supper and wine mixing with hers. Slowly, my hand went up the curve of her back to the nape of her neck. My fingers wrapped around her soft tresses, giving them a sharp tug to break the kiss.- You don't know what you are saying Siobhan. You are dealing with the loss of your father and being attacked. I would not be gentle with you. And I don't want to ruin you for your true mate one day. -Pushing her away gently, I grab my things and walk to the door- I'll see you around Angel. Take care of yourself. Siobhan: *"Don't let him walk away", a female voice I'd never heard before sounded in my head. The effect had me groaning softly in my chest but as I watched Ghrimm's back as he walked to the door I felt my heart damn near stop in it's tracks* H..How dare you! *my lips felt swollen from his kiss and I wanted more. But that desire was sidelined by the feeling of being tossed aside unwanted and utterly alone. I was trembling as my hand snakes out to grab the vase on the end table beside me. The thought being to throw it at his head, but the thought was dropped along with the vase that hit with a thunderous crash on the floor beside my feet. The crystal splinters flying all around while rose petals scattered over my feet amid all the water* Ghrimm: -I knew the moment she grabbed the vase I hurt her. I prepared myself for the impact, yet was I received instead was the emotional slap she dealt me with her words. Alone. Wasn't that coincidental? The vase fell from her trembling hand and shattered much like my heart shattered the day Phebe and Cahal died. Just like it did now for a female I barely knew.- I know loss and how you want to just feel alive, even for a split second to take away the loneliness. I know how it feels after and living with that regret every day. I do not wish that upon you Angel. I wish you only love and happiness that I fear I cannot give you. I lost my shellan and young over a year ago. I carry a darkness in me that no one should be around. It consumes me. It would consume you. You have such light and life in you where I only have darkness and death. Siobhan: : *I groaned as the female’s voice sounded off in my head. She was growing louder by the second until I folded my upper body over and had to grab the sides of my head* N...no you don't. *the voice that escapes my lips isn't mine but rather someone else* You might be a warrior but there is more to you than darkness and death. You know that. Just as I do. *my body rises to its full height while tears glisten on my cheeks but the eyes never waver as the one within looks upon Ghrimm’s back* Ghrimm: -I stop dead in my tracks when she speaks. Shaking my head, I can only assume I have gone certifiably crazy. That couldn't have been Phebe's voice that came out of her mouth. Yet when I turn my head to look at her, her toffee hues are now a blue oasis complete with water filling them. I step back from the door, my body trembling. Slowly I reach up and cup her cheek.- Your eyes…..they're blue. Your voice….Am I crazy? It can't be. You're dead. I burned you myself. Siobhan: *leaning my cheek into your palm while resting a hand on your chest above your heart* This body is not mine as it was. *my now oceanic eyes look at the hand resting on your chest then up to your gray storm filled eyes* You haven't gone crazy. It is me, hellren. Just not me. *motions towards the curves of the body I'm in* Siobhan has no idea I'm inside her. Her mind is strong but we can live as one. Our souls combining as long as neither of us fights the other like I'm doing now. You have to help us and let us help you. *cupping your face with my thumbs brushing the stubble along your cheeks before grimacing as the other mind fights for control* Please help Siobhan and I become one. Don't be alone. Don't let her be alone. *my eyes start to shift between oceanic blue to toffee and back again before I slump forward against your chest* Ghrimm: -Tears formed in my eyes hearing Phebe’s voice call me hellren again. I didn't have a chance to tell her how much I loved her or how I would try my best to be what Siobhan needed. Hell I still thought I lost my mind or was dreaming, but once the weight of Siobhan fell on my chest I knew it was neither. As gently as I could, I picked my angel up and carried her back to her room, laying her on her bed. Taking the throw blanket off the corner chair, I draped it over her, placing a soft kiss on her head. Staring down at the female on the bed, I kept seeing Phebe’s ocean  eyes looking into mine and her voice echoing around my thick skull. “Don't let her be alone”.- You won't be alone anymore Angel. I've got you.