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asuyaka · 5 months

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"How do the monster trio act around (and eventually get with) their crush?"

☆ - Monkey D. Luffy, Vinsmoke Sanji, Roronoa Zoro x M! reader.

♡ - guys m'sososososo insane ab these three m'literally gunna explode | also !! jus cus reqs ar gunna be closed, doesn't mean m'won't be uploadin !! jus not takin reqs f'the time bein (❁´◡`❁)

— MONKEY D. LUFFY.

He's so clingy around you, more than he is with anyone else.

Always, always, shares his food with you. Especially if you were busy training before dinner.

He's always around you no matter what. Oh? You're trying to help Sanji cook? He's on the floor watching you. Want to go buy supplies for Nami? He's clung onto your back like a Koala. Want to sleep due to a long day? He's right there in your bed with you.

He's so dorky about it too! Wants to spend every waking moment with you but doesn't know that he has a crush on you, just always wants ta be around you!

He's so jealous without even knowing it. What are you doing hanging out with Usopp when he's right here??

"[Name]..." Luffy groaned, clinging to your back with a sad expression on his face. He had his limbs wrapped around your torso and his head between your neck. "You aren't going to talk with Usopp again, are you?"

You stop walking, staring at him through the corner of your eyes. "Yes? I thought you and Usopp were best buddies, what happened?"

Luffy groans louder, causing Nami to yell at him to shut up from her room. "Nooooo, stay here and talk with meeeeeeee!" He wraps his arms around you three times (thanks to his devil fruit) and starts to shake your body around.

"Luffy— I can't even move if you don't let go of me!"

Luffy looks at you with puppy dog eyes. "Why hang out with Usopp when I'm right here?! I should be the only one you have eyes for..." He pouts as he presses his cheek against yours.

Your body flushes. Did... did he realize what he just said?

"Luffy, you can't say things like that if you don't know what they mean..." You huff, trying not to look too deep into what he could've meant by that. Luffy says things he doesn't mean, so you don't want to get your hopes up.

That only seems to coerce Luffy into whining. "I do know what it means! I said it, dummy! Stupid!! You should be mine, not Usopp's! I'm cooler and better and bigger and amazinger and uhm, you're mine because I say so!!"

Amazinger...?

You can't help the giggle that comes out of you, trying to force yourself to calm down while Luffy shakes you repeatedly. "[Name] c'mon, you'll be mine, right? Not Usopp! Cause, he can't cook and he's a sniper!"

"What does him being a sniper have to do with anything? And besides, you can't cook either Luffy."

Luffy blanks for a split second before going back to what he was doing. "I dunno. Doesn't matter! C'monnnnn, [Name], you're bullying meeeeeeeee!"

You hold onto Luffy's arm with a laugh, pressing your cheeks together as a form of affection. "Yes, Luffy, I'll be yours."

Luffy stares at you with surprise before turning back to his usual happy-go-lucky self. "Yippie!! Now, we can do all the things boyfriends do! Like go on dates, and eat together, and sleep together, and—"

As he continues to list off all the things he thinks boyfriends do, you can't help but chuckle.

Not like you two weren't doing that before his confession.

— VINSMOKE SANJI.

(inspired by @/sanjisboyfie 's oneshot ab this tragic little adorable man !! :3)

It took so long for Sanji to realize he liked you because he's not used to being attracted to men.

Thought that every time you complimented his cooking and his heart swelled up, it was just the flu. Nothing interesting or important.

Then, he started noticing how pretty your features were when you were eating, or how embarrassed he gets whenever it's just you and him in the kitchen.

When he realizes he does like you, his mind utterly falters, because... why would you like him back?

Even though there are lingering fears in his heart, he always tries his best to please you. Even if it means blushing like a moron whenever you address him directly.

"[Name]! I uhm, made this for you since you were... hurt, during our last fight." Sanji muttered nervously, averting his eyes as he held out a plate of food. Something small and easy to digest, but a food you like.

You smile warmly as you take the plate from his hands, your fingers brushing slightly as Sanji's face flusters even more. "This looks amazing! Thanks, Sanji. Do you want to sit with me? The seas are calm tonight."

Sanji pauses as he looks at you. His cigarette is inches away from falling out of his mouth and his face dazes.

"Sanij? You okay? You can say no, I won't be mad. It's not even your shift yet and everyone needs sleep." You say with an airy smile as you turn your attention to the food.

Sanji was right (like he was most of the time when it came to you and food), after the 'Big Mom incident' you were quite injured (and hungry). Seeing all the... talking food, didn't do much to raise your appetite.

There's a soft thud right beside you, long black legs resting a safe distance away from yours. A comfortable silence falls between the two of you, even if Sanji's cheeks are flushed and he's nervously playing with his thumbs.

"Wowww, this is really good Sanji!" You say happily, flashing Sanji a warm smile as you return to eating the food so gracefully given to you. Oblivious to the man beside you whose face looks so red it rivals Luffy's signature vest.

Sanji looks at you with nothing sort of affection. It's not the same as when Nami or Robin compliment him, you just saying his name is enough to make him flustered, but being this close to you alone might send him into cardiac arrest.

"[Name]...?" His voice is quiet, staring at you with expectant eyes.

You pause eating, covering your mouth, and cocking your head in confusion.

"This uhm... might be a weird question, but do you um,, l-like anybody?" He becomes more flushed with every word that comes out of his mouth.

The second you take too long to answer he starts to curse himself out for even sitting down. Everything was going so well until he opened his mouth—

"Yes, I do. What, trying to feel out if I'm single?" You tease with a light chuckle, picking up the last bit of food and holding it out expectantly. "You want some?"

Sanji can't say no to you. Even if he tries his hardest, his body will not let him say no, not to an indirect kiss; especially when you're offering. Even if you might not see it in the same light he does.

He opens his mouth and lets you place the spoon in his mouth as your eyes turn into crescents. "See? Does it taste good?"

God— Sanji feels like he's going to explode.

He nods, begging himself to calm down before his mind starts to run.

"Oh," You say suddenly, "—that was an indirect kiss, wasn't it?" You lin hum thoughtfully and place the plate beside you, letting out a soft yawn as you stretch. "You sure you don't need to—"

"I am so in love with you."

"...pardon?"

Sanji stands up immediately, his face red. "Nothing!! I'm sorry, I'm really sleepy now so I'll—"

"Sanji, what did you say?" You ask carefully, holding onto his hand to try and stop him from running away.

"It's nothing, [Name], please just let me—"

"Sanji." Your voice comes off soft, relaxing your body so you come off as gentle and not hostile. "Just say it, one more time for me, okay?"

Sanji could feel his entire body burning up just from holding hands, more so from him getting caught blurting out his feelings again. He stares at the floor of the Sunny, too ashamed to look you in the eyes. "I... I'm in love with you? I'm sorry if you don't like me back, I didn't mean it I swear!"

"Sanji, what makes you think I don't like you back? Better question, what makes you think I didn't know?" You cock your head playfully, pulling him gently so he's sitting again.

"...what?"

You chuckle. "I've heard all the other embarrassing times you've confessed your feelings, it's just that the crew was around and I didn't want to put you on the spot. I've liked you since we met on the Baratie, silly."

Sanji's eyes widen as his mouth falls agape. You've liked him... for two years?!

"Sanji...?" You move up to straddle him, your hands resting on his cheeks. "Can I... kiss you?"

Sanji nods so fast he thinks his head might fall off.

You smile, leaning forward to press your lips together. Sanji's body physically relaxes as he practically melts into you, his face redder than blood.

It takes all his willpower and the need to breathe for him to finally pull away from you. His face is flushed and his breathing is heavy, staring at you like you're the only man in the world— like you're the prettiest thing in the world.

You giggle, pressing your heart onto his chest. "I love you so much."

Zoning back into reality, he carefully places his arms around your waist. "I love you too, so so much [Name],"

— RORONOA ZORO.

Zoro isn't good at expressing his emotions, everyone knows that.

So, when he figures out he might have a romantic attraction to you, he's confused about what to do. Considers asking Nami about it, but goes with Robin since Nami is... an interesting woman!

Robin tells him to be upfront with his feelings, or subtly tell the person.

He's a naturally mature person, having a crush on his crewmate doesn't change that by any means.

Even if he is cold to everyone, if you two are alone on the deck of the Sunny, he lets you sleep with him or touch his swords.

Just having you around is enough to calm him down. Seeing as his biggest love language is quality time and you enjoy talking about the randomest things around him, it makes his heart flutter whenever you act like he's the only person in the world who you care about.

"Mhm! And did you know that otters hold hands when they're asleep?" You point to an otter in the marine life book Zoro got you during your last pit stop.

Zoro shakes his head, his arms crossed with a small, barely noticeable amused smile on his face.

"Yeah! It's so they don't drift off when they're asleep. Not sure anyone knows why, but I like to think it's because they don't want to lose each other. After all, they're social animals! Oh! They also like to cuddle a lot—"

"Kind of like me and you, no?" Zoro interrupts with a playful aura, causing your train of thought to stop, face flushing as you stare at his smug expression.

"Um, y-yes! Like... like me, and you..." Your voice progressively gets smaller under Zoro's gaze. He moves closer, causing you to move your arms back, resting on your palms. "Zoro?"

"Keep telling me about the otters, don't worry," He replies coyly, grabbing you by the waist and bringing you into his lap.

Your face flushes, stuttering over your words as you nod. Shakily grabbing the book to bring it closer. Carefully picking your words, you begin speaking again. "They might also, uhm, hold hands because they don't have very thick fur. It could be to share body heat and keep warm, since they get cold easily."

"What if I said we were otters?" Zoro asks from behind you, resting his chin on your head.

"Ah, then we'd have to hold hands when we sleep!" Quickly realizing what you said, you try to reel it back in. "O-of course, only if you want to! I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, I know how much you like your personal space so—"

"You're in my personal space and it doesn't look like I mind very much, does it, [Name]?"

Twiddling your thumbs meekly, you shake your head no. Zoro laughs and takes one of your hands, putting it above his. The size difference is obvious, your fingers stop just below his second knuckle. Something about that causes a riot in your brain, especially when Zoro squeezes them together.

"Okay, another question," Zoro starts, moving the intertwined hands to your lap. "What if I asked you to be my boyfriend?"

You turn around immediately, staring at him with wide eyes. He isn't... joking, is he? Zoro doesn't normally joke about things (unless he's with Sanji), so it wouldn't make sense for him to joke about this. Especially when it's something so serious.

"Hm? What's your answer, pretty boy?"

You've liked Zoro ever since he sat down and listened to you talk about the different kinds of fishmen after the ordeal with Arlong. Zoro has never expressed romantic attraction to anybody, not even to the bountiful amounts of women who've expressed attraction to him.

Your mind blanks, and you must've been staring at him for too long because the smallest bit of worry falls on his face. "You okay? I'm not forcing you, you know? Saying no is okay."

Saying... no? To a man that looks like he was crafted by Zeus himself? Hell no! "No! I-I mean, yes, I mean—"

"Take your time pretty boy, I'm not going anywhere."

He's adjusted your position to where you're facing each other, hands still intertwined as he looks at you with a soft (?) expression. Taking a deep breath, you force yourself to make eye contact with him.

You've never looked at his this close before. Sure, you two have cuddled to sleep on countless nights, but then you were always faced away from each other.

He has long eyelashes. Not extremely long, but longer than you thought they were. Even if his eyes are black, you've noticed they soften whenever he looks at you, it makes him pretty.

Meekly, you nod. Holding your head down to try and hide your embarrassment. Before you can, though, Zoro stops you by lifting your chin up with his finger. "You can use words, can't you?"

It should sound condescending, the way he's talking to you, but it sounds more encouraging than anything. Even if there might be light teases mixed with his words.

"Yes, I, I would want to be your uhm... your boyfriend."

Zoro grins at that, pressing a quick kiss on your lips and twisting you around, pulling you closer so the back of your head is between his boobs pecs. "Love you, pretty boy."

"I-I love you too, Zoro," You force out, even if it feels like you're overheating due to the blood rushing to your cheek and... other places, as well as Zoro's added body heat.

You two truly were like otters.

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awearywritersworld · 11 months

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stay as long as you need

fushiguro toji x reader summary: toji can't stop hanging around his new neighbor, even though she has a boyfriend. oh well, he knows he's better for her anyway. w/c: 1.2k tags/warnings: hurt/comfort. angst to fluff. domestic violence perpetrated by reader's boyfriend, but nothing terribly graphic; the incident is discussed after the fact, not depicted. implied age gap. protective!toji. toji actually being nice. cliche "who did this to you" moment. fem!reader a/n: WHY IS HE SO HOT??????? I JUST WANT HIM TO TAKE CARE OF MEEEEEEEEE (OR CRUSH ME WITH HIS THIGHS, IM NOT PICKY) on a less unhinged note, thanks for reading!! masterlist

"need some help?"

you nearly jump upon hearing the words, having been lost in your own little world. when you turn around, you're met with a dark haired, well built man and just the sight of him makes your cheeks feel hot.

"oh, i- um," you glance between him and the heavy box in your hands.

he's already taking it from you though, effortlessly balancing it in one hand before opening the door for you with the other.

"thanks," you squeak out, stepping inside your new apartment building.

he smirks down at you, eyes raking over your body. toji isn't exactly the good samaritan type, but for a pretty little thing like you, he can certainly make an exception.

the elevator button lights up when he presses it. "just moving in?"

"yup! third floor. getting everything up there has been quite the ordeal, so i appreciate your help," you explain sweetly.

when the metal doors slide open, he lets you step inside first.

"hm, all by yourself? no boyfriend in the picture?" well, the sorcerer killer has never been one for subtly.

"yeah, actually," you return sheepishly. "he's just out with his friends at the moment."

"that so?" you don't see the look of judgement that crosses his face, though it isn't at all directed toward you.

once you emerge on your floor, toji follows along just a step behind you. he can't help his amusement when you stop at your door. "would you look at that. i guess we're neighbors now."

his head nods toward his own apartment, just two doors down from yours. "oh good! i'm glad this wasn't too far out of your way."

"don't worry about it, wouldn't have been any trouble either way."

you offer him a bashful smile before your door clicks open, revealing quite a few boxes just inside. "you can just put that anywhere, don't mind the mess.. i'm (y/n), by the way."

"toji." he places it on top of one of the other boxes, honestly impressed that you managed to get so many upstairs by yourself. "can i have your car keys?"

he thinks the look of confusion that crosses your features is just too cute. "what for?"

he chuckles because it should be obvious, but clearly you aren't used to being taken care of. "to get the rest of your boxes, princess."

~~~

the next afternoon, toji answers a knock at his door and finds you on the other side. you've got a plate of fresh cookies in your hand, which you shyly offer to the tall man. "these are for you. thank you so much for all your help yesterday! i couldn't have done it without you."

"thanks, you didn't have to," he tells you, although he's happy you did. when he pulls them from your grasp, his hands brush yours. he invites you in, insisting he can't enjoy them alone, but really he just wants to get to know you.

and he does. over the next few weeks, you spend a surprising amount of time in one another's company. whenever he bumps into you in the hall, he'll chat with you for a while, even (or, especially) when he's running late to a job.

one day you mention that a shelf you ordered came disassembled, so he offers to come over and put it together for you. of course you show up at his door the next day with a new plate of cookies.

another morning, toji groans when he discovers that he's out of tea, but quickly realizes it's the perfect excuse to knock on your door. when it swings open, he swallows thickly, taking in your tiny shorts and thin tank top. it was obvious you'd just woken up.

you're no better than he is with the way your eyes trail over his fitted tshirt, then down to the sweatpants that hang loosely around his waist. you're both too preoccupied staring to notice the other doing the same.

"mornin', sleepy beauty," he says with a lopsided grin.

"good morning, toji." you return his smile, your greeting a saccharine melody to his ears. oh, the things he'd do to have you all to himself.

he explains his predicament and you're more than happy to invite him inside. you both sit at your kitchen table, nursing a cup of tea and chatting about your day. the domesticity off it all leaves a pleasant taste in his mouth, which is bizarre seeing as up until a few weeks ago, he'd have found the thought down right repulsive.

but he just can't get you out of his head. you're too sweet for your own good, too young to know what you deserve in a man, and he's more than willing to show you.

he knows you're not available, but makes no attempt to stifle his growing fondness toward you. after all, he'd only ever seen your boyfriend once.

you were returning from a rare afternoon out just as he was leaving to pick up something for lunch. you looked so good in your cute little dress that he hardly even noticed your boyfriend at first.

"hey, (y/n)," toji greeted you. "who's this?"

he didn't give you a chance to speak, just pulled you into his side. "her boyfriend."

"ah," he leered, his nose crinkled. "i wasn't sure since i never see you around."

your eyes flickered between the two men somewhat nervously. toji towered over your boyfriend, a feat he took great satisfaction in.

a humorless laugh came from your left. "prefer to have her over at my place."

toji didn't respond right away, just looked down at you, taking note of your quietness. he briefly recalled the time you mentioned how much it bothered you that your boyfriend never came to visit, that you always had to make the effort.

"right.. well, you're a lucky man." he looked much more smug by then, his head falling to the side. "your girl has the best cookies around."

toji moves past both of you without waiting for a reply, roughly clapping your boyfriend on the shoulder. "see you around, (y/n)."

~~~

nearly two weeks later, toji's leaving his apartment late in the evening, as his current job can really only be taken care of during the nighttime hours. he doesn't expect to see many people in the halls, so he's surprised to find you at your apartment door.

the hood of your sweatshirt is pulled over your head, obscuring your face from his view. "(y/n)?"

you don't respond, so he takes a step toward you. it's only then he notices the way your hands are trembling, struggling with the lock. he reaches out, but when his fingers brush your arm, you jump back as if you'd been completely oblivious to his presence.

"hey-" he begins to say, but stops once he sees your face. his eyes darken and his jaw tenses, the veins in his neck becoming more prominent as a result.

your cheekbone is bright red, a small cut stretching across the center of the mark. your eyes watch him, wide and fearful, and you're all but frozen in place.

"who did this to you?"

he's struggling to keep his composure, the sight of your bruised face enough to have his heart hammering away angrily in his chest. you look away, tears forming in your eyes, and you can't bring yourself to respond.

"was it him?" he presses.

you nod, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth in an attempt to keep from crying. "i-it's okay, though. he didn't mean it, really, and-"

"look me in the face and try that again."

you meet his gaze, somewhat unwillingly, and whimper. "i.. i can't."

he sighs quietly, his job already forgotten for the night, and moves toward you. he remembers how you flinched away from him just moments ago. "..can i touch you?"

you nod once more and he hesitantly pulls you against his chest. it's getting harder and harder to keep your emotions in check, especially with the slow circles his hand is drawing on your back.

"i was so scared, toji," you finally admit, voice barely above a whisper.

"i know, but you're safe now. won't let 'im touch you ever again," he promises, fully intent on keeping it.

his words push you over the edge and you grab at his shirt as you begin to weep, your knees buckling beneath you. he supports your weight, rocking you back and forth. "you're okay. it's going to be okay."

after a minute or two, he finally hears you take a shaky breath and relief fills his chest at the sound. "see? just like that, baby. in and out."

you do as he says and after a few more breaths, he pulls away from you and takes your hand. "c'mon. let's get you cleaned up."

leading you into his apartment, he goes straight to the bathroom. you gasp when he grabs you by the hips and hoists you up onto the counter before searching for his first aid kit. when he pulls it down from the cabinet, he moves to stand between your legs.

grabbing you by the chin, he tilts your head to get a better look your injury. the redness is already transitioning to a darker hue and he knows it'll look even worse tomorrow.

"gonna clean the cut, okay? it might sting."

"okay," you sniffle.

he rips open an alcohol wipe, dabbing it gently against your cheekbone. when you wince in pain, he offers a quiet apology, but he's finished before long, having applied a bit of ointment as well.

"thank you," you murmur.

both of his hands find your thighs, resting on the area just above your knees. "don't thank me. not for this."

there's an edge to his voice, but you know it's not directed toward you. your hands settle on top of his own, quelling his anger for the time being.

"you know," he grunts, his gaze lingering on your cheek before it shifts toward your eyes. "i could never lay a hand on you."

his expression is much softer now than it was in the hallway and he savors the small smile that tugs at your lips. "i know, toji."

as he looks down at you, he knows he's done for. hell, he's known it for a while now. you deserve to be adored. taken care of. made to feel good... and toji is more than confident in his ability to do so.

for a fleeting moment, he considers the fact it wouldn't be hard to find out where your boyfriend lives, to make sure he never raises a hand to you again, but your gentle voice pulls him from his thoughts.

"can i stay with you tonight?" you ask meekly.

"yeah, 'course.. you can stay as long as you need."

jjk taglist: @torusmochi

#m!writes #toji #toji x reader #toji imagines #fushiguro toji #fushiguro toji x reader #fushiguro toji imagines #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk imagines

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goldenamaranthe-blog · 2 months

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Apple Seed 3: Ew....

Vaggie: (holding Charlie's hair and rubbing her back) How are you doing, hun?

Charlie: (panting) I'm good! I'm- HRK!!! (throws herself back into the toilet bowl and pukes)

Vaggie: (sad smile) Sit tight, babe. I'll be right back with some cool water and crackers for when you're done.

Charlie: (head still in the toilet, holds a thumbs up. Once the sound of footsteps fade, she flops against the wall in a seated position with a groan) No one told me this would be so gross...

*Sniff!* *Sniff* *Sniff!*

Charlie: What's that smell? (Sniffs the air like a dog and starts drooling) It smells so good~ (Follows the scent through the hotel to Alastor's room) Oh, no....

*Sniff!* *Sniff!* *Sniff!* *Droooooool*

Charlie: (whines and gently knocks on the door)

Alastor: Come in!

Charlie: (Opens the door and goes green at the sight of a dead, semi-rotted deer on Alastor's table) Oh, noooooooohohohohooo.......

Alastor: (stops cutting a chunk) Charlie, dear, what a surprise! How might I be of service? Is there a chance it could wait until I finish my lunch?

Charlie: (horrified by the dead animal and how the sight makes her stomach rumble, falls to her knees in dismay) NOooooOOoOoOooo!!!!

Alastor: (sighs) Very well. What is so important that it requires my immediate attention?

Charlie: THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M UPSET ABOUT!!!!

Alastor: Oh..... *DING!!!* Oh! Silly me. Would you like a piece?

Charlie: (watches in horrified starvation as a blob of rotted blood drips from the buck's mouth and plops onto the hardwood floor) Don't do it, Charlie. Don't do it, Charlie. Don't do it, Charlie. Don't do it, Charlie.

Vaggie: (walking the hotel halls with a glass of water and bag of saltines in hand) Charlie? Babe? Where did you go? (Sees Alastor's door open and bristles) MOTHER FUCKER!!!! (kicks the door in with her spear drawn) ALASTOR!!! What do you think you're.... do-.....-ing.....

Charlie: (sitting on a chair in the corner and chowing down on a whole hindquarter of the deer, shaking her head as she shreds the flesh with her teeth and growling like a puppy)

Vaggie: Hooooooo-oh (covers her mouth as a sour taste spreads across her tongue and her face pales)

Alastor: (slightly taken aback by how Charlie ripped the deer leg clean off) ...........I do believe we found something she can stomach.

Charlie: (wailing as she swallows a whole chunk and goes in for another bite) Don't Look At Meeeeeeeee!!!!!

Bonus:

Charlie: (brushing her teeth furiously, causing toothpaste foam to spill all over her lips and chin) Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

Vaggie: (Stomach gurgling sickly as she stands in the doorway with dental floss and mouthwash in her hands) I'm just... happy we found something you can- *burp* (covers her mouth and swallows down bile) -can stomach...

Charlie: WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THAT!!!! (spits and takes the floss from Vaggie before running it through her teeth like a chainsaw belt)

Vaggie: Babe, it's okay. (Watches as Charlie throws away bloodied floss and hands her the mouthwash) Rinse. Last step before I feel comfortable kissing you again.

Charlie: (drinks a cap of mouthwash before swishing another cap around I her mouth, trying to talk while gargling and getting liquid everywhere) No one told me pregnancy was going to be this gross!!!!

#apple seed au #hazbin hotel #chaggie #rainbowmoth #charlie morningstar #vaggie #pregnant charlie #puppy charlie #thanks sevi-fuk for helping me make this idea!!!#cravings #pregnancy cravings #pregnancy #common enough concept

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spinnysocks · 2 months

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incorrect lion guard as snapcube quotes

if you haven't watched snapcube then i'm sorry if this is really out of context LMAO but that's kinda the point :)

Makucha: See ya, cheetah!

Fuli: Huh? He's faster than Fuli. He's faster than Fuli. What?

Janja, annoyed: What is it this time Ushari?

Ushari: Janja, you found my You're A Bitch Degree!

Janja, after one of Scar's meetings: ...Something just happened.

Nduli: When was the last time you washed your paws? I haven't washed mine in four days. I've also been eating rocks-

Tamka: Rocks?! Nuh uh uh, that's not food!

Nduli: What about grass-

*Butterfly lands on Tamka's nose* Tamka: This is food Nduli!

Nduli: It's beautiful, I love your new hat! I'm gonna name him.. Mwamba!

*Butterfly starts flying away*

Tamka: You scared it away! :(

Nduli: Bye Mwamba! :)

Tamka: Bye Mwamba..

Janja: Hey, you know what this place looks like? Looks like the Pridelands! *starts singing Tonight We Strike*

Janja, to the skinks: Are you in on this conspiracy to?!

Shupavu: Everything is a conspiracy, haven't you ever seen the Circle of Life?

Janja: Wh-What?!

*waiting for Scar's meeting*

Reirei: Are we just doing this now? A bunch of assholes standing in a line? Congratulations!

Janja: Ah fuck, she got us there guys. Well.............

Ushari, while Janja's Clan are hysterically laughing: Alright, I think we need to figure out what we're going to do about this-

Kenge: It's not important that we lost! Look at who's responsible! *points at Janja*

Janja, pointing up: I'll point at you also.

Kenge: I'm not the sky, hyena.

Janja: We're doing Nne's plan? We're all agreeing that Nne came up with this right?

Cheezi: Yeah... 2, 3, 4, 5, 6- Here we go! :D

Janja to Reirei: Sorry that sounded like I wanted to kill you, I didn't mean that. *whispering to everyone else* I do wanna kill her don't fucking tell- I don't wanna kill you, don't worry! I wanna kill her so fucking bad! I didn't say anything to them just now. You know what I said! I-I gotta go, uh, think about some stuff!-

*Battle for the Pridelands in a nutshell*

Scar: Heyyyyy~ What's uppppp?~ It's meeeeeeeee~

Kion: STOP! >:(

Scar: I don't know how to impress upon you that you cannot defeat me.

The Guard: Kion!

Scar: Oh, your friends are here!

The Guard: We're here to help you!

Scar: It's really cute that you're going to defeat me with the power of friendship and all, but then again I am Scar from the Lion King, so-

Kion: You didn't let me finish, Scar!

Scar: Mhm, go ahead.

Kion: I have-

Scar: Yes, yes, yes, yes. I don't care. I do not care! You don't understand. I came back here to destroy the Pridelands. This means nothing to me! Alright? You mean nothing to me! You and your little friends are fucking annoying! This is why I stayed down in lion hell. This is why I punish Pridelanders. I'm the good guy! Do you not realise? I am the good guy here! I am the true King of the Pridelands! Mufasa goes up and he plays with all his little friends like "Oh look, are you watching over the Pridelands?" Yeah, whatever. Fuck everybody.

Kion: Ah!

Scar: I get to kill people! I get to command my army all day! It's great, give me the Pridelands! You don't get it. You watch your stupid little privileges. Fuck you. Idiot.

*The Guard yells*

Scar: Go to hell! *makes the volcano erupt* Look, I can do this! Anytime I want! This is nothing to me! You are nothing to me! I hate you! I HATE YOU! THIS IS MY BIG FUCKING VOLCANO!

Bunga: Oh my god, he's fucking losing it entirely!

Chungu & Cheezi: All around me are familiar faces, work out places, worn out places- IS THAT WHAT A HOUSE LOOKS LIKE? Oh my stars! This place is amazing! Where am I, the Pridelands?...... Worn out places~ (thanks to @devilsrecreation for that one 😭)

feel free to reblog with additions, there's too many quotes to put in here </3

#the lion guard #tlg #tlg outlanders #tlg outlanders memes #tlg memes #incorrect quotes #tlg incorrect quotes #i wanted to add more but i couldn't think of any :(#snapcube #snapcube quotes

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acey-wacey · 2 years

Text

Mom Friend

Feat. Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Jack Howl, Epel Felmier, Sebek Zigvolt

Requested on Ko-fi by @thelazyhermits! And now a special song for this very special donator.

*clears throat*

🎶 You are so beautifuuuuuul to meeeeeeeee 🎶

🎶 Can't you seeeeeeeeee 🎶

Thank you.

...

Note- this ended up being kind of a character analysis so I hope you enjoy an in-depth exploration of how I characterize the first years.

...

At first, you would only trail after Ace and Deuce because of Grim's involvement, cleaning up the messes they left behind.

Once you got to know them though, you started hanging out with them outside of fixing their mistakes.

It didn't take long for you to be adopted into the first year friend group.

You adore all of them and, with some time, they come to adore you.

Upon meeting all the first years, you realized one crucial fact:

None of these boys have any self preservation.

Ace and Deuce's squabbling and scheming have gotten them into more than one inopportune situation.

You've had to hold Epel back from punching someone who called him cute one too many times.

Jack refused to take care of himself no matter how many times you urged him to practice healthy self care.

And Sebek of courses has screamed at many people for undermining the importance of the Great Malleus Draconia.

You always have to come prepared when you hang out with them, often carrying a full first aid kit and snacks to class with you.

People around NRC have taken to calling you the campus mom.

While your love and affection is reserved for the first year group of friends, if someone come up to you needing a band-aid, you are happy to oblige.

You do a lot for the first years and sometimes they forget to thank you for it, but you know they love you.

Deuce Spade comes to you for tutoring.

Seven knows he needs all the homework help he can get.

He's a bit slow to understand complex concepts so alchemy is his worst class.

Now you aren't at the top of your class but your a quick learner and you are very good at explaining.

Deuce has called you for homework help in the middle of the night many times.

You always smile and talk him through the assignment, explaining the details when he gets stuck.

He just wants to be a good honor student and you really admire him for that.

He's told you how much he wants to make his mom proud of him and you do everything you can to help him feel proud of himself.

When he gets a B- on a test you helped him study for, he's beyond excited to show you his progress.

And he didn't even need to sign a contract for it!

You tell him how proud you are of him and he almost bursts into tears.

He immediately texts his mom a picture of his test.

He's so happy to finally be on his way towards a new future.

Ace Trappola comes to you for impulse control.

He has a big mouth.

There's no way to sugarcoat it. He speaks his mind and gets into a lot of trouble for it.

While you love how honest and upfront he is, you cannot condone the fights he's gotten into because of this.

You are aware that Riddle would be furious about one of his first years tainting the Heartslabyul reputation so you make sure to stop the quarrels before they start.

Ace has a few tells when he's about to say something stupid.

For example, the corner of his mouth quirks up when he knows he could destroy someone's whole career in a few seconds and his eyebrows twitched when he starts getting annoyed.

He doesn't mean to be contrary, he just hates when people don't get what they deserve.

So when he sees some thugs saying something mean about another student, he's going to march up to them and give them a piece of his mind.

When this happens, you grab his shoulder and lead him off somewhere quiet to cool down.

He has a very strong sense of justice but you're still at a school.

You report the bullies to a teacher and go do something relaxing with Ace.

Usually you color in coloring books.

He insists that he's not a kid and he doesn't need coloring books, but it's actually really calming and fun.

While he's not an absolute hot-head, he's headstrong and sometimes needs someone to reign him back in until he can learn how to regulate his impulses by himself.

Epel Felmier comes to you for comfort.

It can be really difficult being in Pomefiore, constantly being poked and prodded, being criticized on your body and your etiquette and your posture.

Epel keeps a delicate persona while he's around other people but when he drops it whenever he's with just you.

He feels comfortable enough to use his real accent and slouch because he knows your the only person who wouldn't judge him for it.

When he's especially upset with Vil on a particular day, he practically sprints to Ramshackle and vents all his frustrations to you while you brush his hair.

He can't really be vulnerable with anyone else, even himself but you helped him to allow himself to feel.

Sometimes he'll just barge into your room and throw his arms open for a hug.

He's always welcome when he needs any kind of comfort.

You listen when he talks and just sit with him when he needs the reaffirmation.

You know how insecure he is about his masculinity and that he doesn't want to be perceived as so fragile and feminine.

But looks don't amount to masculinity.

How other people perceive you doesn't matter as long as you know who you are and you allow yourself to be that person.

It's a bit hard, since Epel has to change quite a bit to fit into the Pomefiore mold but being with you helps him remember who he is and who he wants to be.

Jack Howl comes to you for self care.

He's obviously very determined about his goals and aspirations but sometimes his determination turns into obsession.

When this happens, he won't let himself rest or eat until he's satisfied with his own performance.

He tries to push himself to work harder, hike farther, run faster.

It often just leaves him with exhaustion and a feeling of inadequacy.

Oftentimes, you've had to drag him to his bed when he stays up late exercising.

He just doesn't know how to practice healthy self-care while still striving for self improvement.

You teach him that self-care is the exploration of things that make you happy and help your brain and body to relax.

He eventually discovers that he really enjoys crochet.

He tries to brush it off, saying that crochet isn't manly or that the Savanaclaw students would make fun of him.

You assured him that it does make him any less masculine to enjoy something stereotypically associated with femininity and that it's actually very brave of him to do something that others may not understand.

The two of you crochet together every other evening and listen to audiobooks, usually romance mysteries.

He says he doesn't actually care about the romance bit but you always catch him smiling when the main characters finally kiss.

Being with you has helped him develop healthy habits and take care of himself more.

He really appreciates how you always try to help him stay healthy but you also will take no sh-- if he is too hard on himself.

Sebek Zigvolt comes to you for safety.

It took him a really long time to accept you onto the friend group and an even longer time to trust you.

He never knew your intentions of aspirations and he didn't trust that weird little cat companion of yours.

You'll just be a troublemaker and he wants you nowhere near him or the young master.

No matter how many times you offer to help him study for a test or try to give him some cookies you made, he refuses to like you.

That is, until one particularly difficult day of training for the knights.

Sebek had been a bit off his guard on that day which made him susceptible to surprise attacks from his sparring partner.

He came out of the training session with more than a few bruises.

When you came to visit the Diasomnia dorm to offer him a slice of cake, he tried his best to hide the injuries but you saw right through him.

He protested as you pulled out your first aid kit but you silenced him with a glare that reminded him a little too much of his mother.

He sat down on his bed and took off his shirt so you could tend to his bruises.

He whined like a little baby when you applied isopropyl alcohol to his cuts, to which you rolled your eyes and kept putting bandages on his wounds.

He actually really likes being doted on, but he'd never admit it to a lowly human like you, even if he does really need the hug you give him after.

No matter how hard he tries to escape, once you've noticed an injury he has, you've already fixed it up and kissed it better before he can say The Great Master Malleus Draconia.

He's used to sticking it out and bearing his pain on his own, physical and emotional so it means a lot to him to have someone else caring about his hurt.

They all love you with all their hearts and see you as a true friend and protector of physical/emotional well-being.

Though you love to help people in any way you can, some particularly nasty students try to take advantage of your good nature.

They ask you for more than you can give them, knowing you won't be able to say no.

They pester you constantly asking you for the treats and snuggles that are reserved for your close friends.

They'll even start venting to you without permission, stressing you out with their overwhelming problems.

When someone like this keeps bugging you, rest assured that they are going to get their a$$ beat.

Your friends first use the raw intimidation, standing behind you with murder in their eyes as an obnoxious pesterer talks to you.

That usually scares them off but if they continue to bother you, one of the first years, usually Jack will corner them in a secluded area to tell them to leave you alone.

If it still doesn't work, that's when it gets violent.

They know you would never condone any of them getting into fights but as long as it's for your honor, they are ready to throw hands.

They may get in trouble with the headmaster but they don't care that much.

Not even Jack will regret decking someone who was harassing you.

When you get sick or injured, the boys are practically your servants.

You tell them that they really don't have to do anything for you but after all you've done for them when they're vulnerable, they need to repay the kindness.

Anything you need or want will be yours immediately.

Ace takes notes for you in the classes you miss.

Deuce makes you tea every single day.

Epel sets you up with any books or movies you need.

Jack just sits by your bed, holding your hand so you don't get lonely in your room.

Sebek will 100% rush around getting you anything you need, from food to tissues to pads.

Ask and you shall receive.

They all just want to show you how much they love you and how much you mean to them.

You've done a lot for each of them and there's no denying that you are a very important person in the first year friend group.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #disneytw #ace trappola #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade #deuce spade x reader #epel felmier #epel felmier x reader #jack howl #jack howl x reader #nyx's kofi requests

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nerves-nebula · 5 months

Text

i bitch about my parents a lot but i really do hate that they weren't like. evil. i hate that i can trace a lot of my success to the fact that they wanted us to succeed, that my mom sent me to a school with a better art program than the local one. that she made me apply to all these college's and posted happily on facebook every time i got accepted. that she and my dad mostly only communicated about how to best take care of us. and yea she did a lot of that so that she could brag about us being smart and successful and stuff, but that doesn't mean it didn't actually help me. and that doesn't mean she didn't care.

like there's so much potential for love there. so much potential for a relationship but they just suck so fucking much to be around. and when i did get into college she basically just fucking dropped me, if i hadn't made a random friend over the internet i woulda been homeless over summer break because the idea of going back to her was so paralyzing i don't know if i could've done it.

and i want to go to nigeria and stay with my dad but i just know he'll be awful to me too. I want to take him up on his offer to show me around before it's too late, before he's gone and he can't. but he's fucking terrible, man. he'd be completely in control of where we go, what i eat, when i wake up or go to sleep. i can't eat most foods, i especially can't eat anything spicy, it'd be a fucking nightmare and he'd treat me like an idiot if i pushed back.

but i want it so bad. i want to visit him, i miss him. but he sucks. i dunno, i think i missed the chance to get a summer internship, so maybe i will stay with him over the summer. except wait, i have a beard now, i'm on testosterone. i can't believe i forgot about that. he'll probably harass me about that and say a bunch of insane shit (he doesn't know how biology works and is very adamant about it)

so even if i just did everything he wanted and didn't push back at all he'd probably still yell at me and say all kinds of awful shit about me being trans and ruining my body or whatever. GOD I HATE THEM SO MUCH. STOP TEXTING MEEEEEEEEE

#nnstuff #rambling #vent #my mom is bad lmao #my dad is bad lmao

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herofics · 2 months

Text

Knight in Shining Armor

A/N: Hahaa, guess who’s going to use their whole day writing fanfiction instead of doing school stuff? Meeeeeeeee. Guess who’s also actually going to finish only one of the WIPs they’ve started? Meeee. Procrastination for the win babyyy. Geto it is, once again… non curse au I guess

It was one of those days again, not a good one, but not really a bad one either, just bland, just nothing. You had worked on your university assignments for hours last evening, and now all your motivation was gone. You felt like it was going to be another day of procrastination.

Maybe you should text Geto to see if you could go over to his place, at least that would give you something to do. The walk would help clear your head too.

“Can I come over?” you texted Geto.

“Right now?” came an answer.

“Yeah. Or is it not a good time?”

“It’s fine, I was just about to start making dinner. I’ll make enough for two :)”

“Thanks, I’ll be there soon” you messaged back.

You put on some proper clothes, instead of the stuff you wore when you were alone. Leaving the apartment in your pajama pants and a tank top didn’t really seem like a good idea. Even though Geto probably wouldn’t mind. You gathered your things, threw on a jacket and put on your shoes, before leaving for Geto’s place.

It was a nice walk, the day was cloudy, but the sun peeked out from behind the clouds every now and then. You were listening to music on your headphones while you walked, so you didn’t immediately notice the guy that was yelling at you from across the street. You finally saw him in your peripheral vision when he started to approach you. You tried to ignore him, since it never did any good to entertain these types of people. Geto’s place was around the corner, so you were just hoping he would leave you alone. When he grabbed your shoulder, you flinched and backed away, but even then you could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“What’s up sweet tits? Come on, have some fun with me” he suggested with a raspy voice.

“No-no thanks, I’m in a hurry” you said shakily, trying to walk away from him.

He grabbed you by your wrist, stopping you from leaving the situation: “I wasn’t really askin, bitch”

You tried to pull away, but he had a tight grip on you. You were looking around frantically, but there weren’t many people around and those who were, didn’t seem to care. Then you heard a smack sound, something crunching, and the grip on your wrist went away.

“You really shouldn’t grab people like that” you heard a familiar voice say from beside you to the guy that was now on the ground, holding his nose.

“Suguru?” you asked with a clear tremble in your voice.

“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Geto asked, scanning you with his eyes, making sure you were okay.

“Just a little shook up, I’ll be fine. Thank you” you muttered.

“Let’s go” Geto said, taking your hand, still glaring at the man that had dared to put his hands on you.

You were almost at Geto’s apartment, when the realization hit you. How did he know you were in trouble and where you were?

“How did you know to come help me?” you inquired.

“I was coming out of the store when I noticed you. I was just getting some groceries, because I was missing some things to make the dinner and happened to be there at the right time” he shrugged.

“So you don’t have some weird supernatural ability to know when I’m in trouble, and to just materialize there?” you joked.

“Not that I know of, at least, I just have excellent timing” he smiled.

“And what good timing you have, I thought I was about to get hurt” you shuddered, thinking about what could’ve happened.

“People like that should really learn to keep their hands to themselves” Geto huffed.

“Couldn’t agree more” you groaned, rubbing your wrist where the guy had grabbed you.

Geto noticed you rubbing your wrist, and it just made his blood boil. He didn’t let it show, but he was really angry at the guy that had put his hands on you. He probably would have hit him until his knuckles bled if he had a little less self-control. He didn’t like people putting their hands on someone without an invitation, but with you, he was even angrier about it than he would normally be, you were his partner after all.

You were at Geto’s door when he asked: “Are you sure you’re okay, love?”

“Like I said, just a bit shook up, and it’s not like this hasn’t happened before”

“It sucks that you have to deal with people like that” Geto groaned as he opened the door to his apartment, clearly annoyed.

“Yeah, but there’s not really anything I can do about it. Some people are just idiots” you sighed.

“Don’t I know it” he said as the two of you entered his apartment.

“Thanks for saving my butt, Suguru. I appreciate it” you said while taking off your shoes.

“Of course, love. I’ll save your ass any time you need it” he smiled that gentle, close eyed smile of his.

“Thank you” you smiled, looking at him adoringly.

“You’re welcome” he smirked and leaned in to kiss you.

You closed the distance between you and kissed him. Every time you kissed, it made your heart flutter. He just had that effect on you. You were so thankful that he was there to save your ass. Your knight in shining armor.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x you #jjk scenarios #jujutsu kaisen scenarios #jujutsu kaisen comfort #jjk comfort #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fanfic #non curse au

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quietbluejay · 1 month

Text

The Buried Dagger 1

OKAY mortarion time ….i forgot this was the book with purple prose and i had to go back in terror to make sure I didn't accidentally buy a McNeill novel again i did not, this is thankfully (?) someone else

I'm trying to figure out what about this pushes it into "Wow Edgy" rather than being genuinely compelling well actually this isn't too bad, to be honest, it's really the next bit which is that the population of ynyx (and WHAT a name) doesn't have mouths "the cold ember of his familiar, obdurate resentment" I feel like I'm being unfair to the book by feeling bathos instead of pathos but i think it's that everything is so over the top

wait what year was this written Mortarion is literally breathing in the chemicals 2019 I'm now going to suffer from the belief that the writer of this was listening to Radioactive (due to this plus some other things) and now I've got it stuck in my head

i want to take this seriously but i just can't, I'm sorry no one understands meeeeeeeee owo uncomfortable memory surfaces

i will say this, the prose is quite evocative

ok so mort has a giant chip on his shoulder and is an enormous misanthrope but just about every single person who has ever been in a position of authority over him DOES just use him as a tool

boy did he choose the wrong side of the war

tumblr has poisoned my mind regarding "the horrors" so it feels like "every day mortarion gets emails" mortarion: hm maybe i should get rid of the daemon and also all the stuff i used to summon him and go back to normal warfare

holy shit holy shit he really is his father's son also hey uhhh mortarion do you remember that whole slippery slope speech you gave at Nikaea about literally this exact topic

the irony is killing me you're killing me, Reaper of Men, and I'm not even a man the manreaper of….justice (????) is unisex oh yeah i forgot to bring it up but Mort calling Magnus an "arrogant braggant" fills my salty soul with glee

morty continues to try out for that fantasy villain role i think i'm warming up to the prose though

im breathing in the chemicals- im breathing in the chemicals- im breathing in the chemicals-

i think swallow's cd kept skipping while he wrote this

this is the third time he's breathed in the chemicals

it's totally not a ritual, honest! okay, this is a cool fight scene mortarion can be cool in a fight, as a treat

lmao

yes. this is funny to me. Mortarion is just so done with this whole thing Mort: why did i get sent on this sidequest rip typhon killstealing

mortarion would really like to be starring in a different genre oh no cursed idea my thought was "what genre would be funniest to put him in" which was followed by "this is our get-along harem protagonist" but it's mort and rob idk at the end of godblight they got yeeted my next thought was magical girl anime he's the dark magical girl's mascot creature he is having friendship! just hdu call him and the magical girl friends

typhon plotting out how to ambush mortarion with a hug

uhhhhhh

typhon: yeahhhh better not bring up the Fallen honestly typhon feels like one of the most intelligent characters in the series! ….huh why weren't the dark angels at Terra

dude and then typhon internally cackles evilly like a kids show villain everything is going according to keikaku does your brain on nurgle turn you into snidely whiplash?

Mortarion what the heck

normal behaviour to go along with the poison drinking or breathing in the chemicals and breathing in the chemicals- and breathing in the okay i'll stop

literally everyone on the ship is choking but typhon that was fast owo flashback time

okay so his evil dad (the first one) sent him out with golems to fight other golem things from other evil overlords as a test of some kind this is just his entire life, huh

oh lovely like wow the only reason mortarion's alive is that he's a primarch the abuse is kind of getting to ridiculous angst-fic levels and yet the way it's written is genuinely compelling? probably because he's not actually a normal human so it is survivable and not ridiculous but it is kind of walking on that line thrown to starving dogs when he was a toddler like

this really is his entire life huh

annnnd also Necare experimented on him with poison what next did necare give him a dog and then kill the dog in front of him we're starting to get into bathos here

the last bit of this scene is, yeahh

a bit. on the overwrought side.

The book is tap dancing on the line which is to be honest, making me sad i really want this to be good :/

if it's going to go all the way into goofy, i want it to go all the way so i can mock it if it's going to be half hard hitting and half goofy it feels like im pulling back to punch a small child this book also unfortunately has some kind of subplot on earth with a bunch of rando characters and also, unfortunately, Garro

oh this is i guess foreshadowing for what's going to happen to the death guard? so garro's friend got hit by an evil knife and unlike guilliman he did not have plot armour

so garro is working with a bunch of other dudes who defected from the traitor legions secretly working for malcador oh, and a psyker ultramarine

oh wait psyker ultramarine met garro on calth??? what??? how did he get to calth and back what is a timeline (i should be fair and stop banging on about this since i have not actually read the relevant books. at least I assume this has to be covered in a book I didn't read)

oh yeah sure let's undress the catatonic chained up woman oh she's a sister of silence my beloved

okay so context she had her name and serial number tattooed under her collarbone so. i guess that was more important??? apparently??? they did not take off the chains they just snapped them off of the wall and basically pushed her to start walking you couldn't just. pick her up??? wouldn't that be faster?? okay this was funny malcador sends an illusion of himself across the planet

I'm rolling my eyes

this is the guy running the imperium

does he have nothing better to do also why give them the job in the first place if he's not going to trust them not to "creatively reinterpret" his commands

oh we're back with Teen Mort and he keeps a diary ohhh a bunch of humans are rebelling and attacking

oh it's Teen Typhon meeting Teen Mort

psychic powers time

this is not the time to get angsty also he is kind of a grimdark rapunzel huh

back in the present and apparently mort broods a lot in his room and if you interrupt him he yells at you because of course he does you're interrupting his linkin park listening bluejay note: i love linkin park so i am allowed to make this joke annnd typhon is setting up the navigators on the ship to take the blame oh he just killed them all that was fast and now they're all trapped blind in the warp and typhon is being obviously evil and according to keikaku which is visible to everyone but Mort well tbf to Mort, he's very angry at Typhon for killing the navigators so he's probably missing stuff

typhon: this lifeboat is full of leeches just trust me typhon: throws it overboard

back in the past, Mort successfully rescues the spunky teens but his dad is coming so he tells them to get out while they can and then has his disney princess song realization that it's time to stand up for himself and he'd do it all again! and face his dad! and dieeeee okay the last bit isn't disney princess …ah

ah mort: wait, that's an option??? rip his hair is getting in his eyes i hate when that happens

okay this is a cheesy line but it's working here

okay i made the joke before about mortarion being the kind of guy who likes to stand on cliffs/balcony edges and look down but i DIDNT KNOW IT WAS LITERALY DONT STARE INTO THE WARP YOU IDIOT

i. oh boy we get to see an emperor-mort interaction

i think the emperor is….actually trying here? but what the emperor is trying to say here is not what mort took from it

#warhammer 40k #bluejay reads warhammer

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ufuckingpastry · 2 years

Text

Tbh, I keep watching the ancient city bit over and over again cuz it's just the funniest fucking thing.

Dream somehow managing to set 3 shriekers off right away so the warden spawns within seconds of him dropping into the city

Dream staring at the warden emerging for 3 whole seconds before remembering the hunters are chasing him so he runs off

George being the first one to know what is happening, but not knowing how to deal with it

Sapnap telling everyone to stop moving and Dream just freezes and watches behind him

The thought that not moving is the play to avoid the warden because it can't see you (though it can sense/sniff you)

Dream spawning a second warden cuz of maybe notching his bow?? And he just crouches like it's a player looking for name tags

Dream only realizing he needs to fucking run when Sapnap dies

"IT'S SNIFFING MEEEEEEEEE!"

George dying to the sonic boom

Bad, somehow, being the only hunter to survive that enough to go back and pick up their stuff

Dream, very obviously panicking and not knowing what to fucking do except run like hell and pray that he gets away in time

#pastry noises #manhunt #dream my beloved

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ike-mcswains-mortician · 6 months

Note

I shall start of with the couple of all time- magnus and songbird!

So since this is an idea from the start of this year, i have no clue where all the art is so i have one very old reference for songbird and that is this one!

He looks a bit different now but everything’s basically the same. So fun fact! Magnus was only invented to stop one of my irl friends from trying to date songbird.

She was like ‘let my character kiss him’ and then magnus appeared to be like ‘girlie i did that and now i’m cursed so don’t’ but knowing her she’ probably find a way around that hehe

Magnus was kind of pulled from his easy life as a worker for the government's research unit and into a life of luxury and things due to him dating and getting engaged to Songbird. I should probably say that Songbird isn’t his real name and i forgot his real name soooo i’ll tell you once i find it again.

Also Songbird was part of the government's inner circle which is made up of six (once seven) people that they think ‘hmm you guys have a lot of resources and/or power in the community so be part of this group so you don’t fuck up our plans’ and once Songbird committed his first murder, they threw him out but in secret the group’s members have been keeping in contact with him for tibits on the criminal lifestyle lmao.

ALSOOO the scar across magnus’s mouth/face is due to a little scenario i have made up (which i love and have put in my mind forever) is that in the ‘final battle’ for these two, if you can call it that, magnus was trying to convince songbird to report the murders to the police since magnus didn’t know that songbird did them and he ended up kissing him and akdhkd while that was happening magnu’s brain is connecting the dots and is like ‘oh shit my fiance’s a murderer’ and casted fireball but it backfired and hit him in the face as well as songbird.

YEAH.

SCREECHING INTO THE VOID OH MY GODDDDDVDVDVDV THIS IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEEEEE

THE COUPLE EVERRRR AAAGH

rotating songbird in my mind WHAT WAS HE DOING IN THE GOVERNMENT INNER CIRCLE HUHHH also love that they’re still in contact like.. do they swap information?? he doesn’t give me the vibes of someone who would give up information to ppl who kicked him out for free so what’s in it for him??? hmmmm

ok now! (claps my hands together and screams) THE SCAR???? HELLO????? holy shit bro i straight up got lightheaded reading that ITS SO FUCKING COOL RAHGHGHHH I AM LOSING MY MINDDDDDD

can. can i draw the sillies. can i PLEASE draw the sillies. oh my god you’ve given me so much brainrot /pos

#magnus being created to stop your friend from kissing songbird is so funny to me /pos #also your friend is so valid for that what who said that #ask #thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls #other people’s characters

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snarkymonkeyprime · 1 year

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Chernov frowned for a moment at the text.

~~So what's with you and King ASshole?~~

He had to wonder how many different names he had for Xerynn at this stage. He was about to give a terse reply when his phone buzzed again.

~~I mean, besides the whole cop-vs-prosecutor thing. Ethan won't tell me.~~

"That's because Ethan's a smitten puppy," he muttered. He sighed and shoved the file he'd been carrying under his arm.

~~Is it really that interesting?~~

He smirked at the response.

~~Tell meeeeeeeee~~

"You asked for it, you idiot." He looked about the hallway and found an alcove he could duck into. Once there, he jammed the file into a corner, freeing up his hands.

~~Xerynn likes to see if he can find weak spots in the department. He thought I would be one. I wasn't.~~

He waited.

~~That sounds boring. Thought it was more interesting than that.~~

He grinned. ~~Well, after he realized I wasn't one to drop trou and bend over, he gave up.~~

The pause was longer this time.

~~WHAT. WHAT? HE LK;JAGKLJEAL;GKJEDKL~~

Chernov collected his folder, amused that he'd been able to render Kai speechless in nearly every avenue of communication at this point. His phone buzzed three more times when he reached the bullpen.

~~He's so gross. So gross. omg so gross.~~

His grin sharpened.

~~I guess I was flattered. I mean, this was before I realized he was the god of war, of course.~~

He caught Ethan's questioning look as he dropped the file he'd been carrying on the younger man's desk.

Realizing he had a new opportunity to needle two of his annoyances at once, he remarked, "That Kai. Had some questions on Xerynn. Wondered if I had any secrets." Ah, there we go. Red ears.

"Oh?" Ethan cleared his throat and fiddled with the folder. "Anything I should know?"

"Naw." He typed out another message.

~~I'm surprised he hasn't accosted Oakes. He likes to cover his bases, from what I've seen. He also hasn't stopped trying to get me to his side, either.~~

He didn't hide the burst of laughter at the keysmash swears that filled up his phone.

~~I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW THAT.~~

Chernov snickered and tucked his phone away, ignoring the subsequent buzzing. There was certainly more to his and Xerynn's relationship; but the core of it had always been the god's attempts to break Chernov down into a usable tool. Over the years, much as it was odd to say, it became a form of courtship between the two of them that Chernov did anything and everything to quietly piss the attorney off. But he never witnessed anger in Xerynn's odd eyes. Only cold amusement.

Back at his desk, he scrolled through Kai's repeated verbal flailing, snorting softly. Kai was an oddball, for sure. He knew things he likely shouldn't and since meeting the younger man, Chernov had caught whiff of the odd aura that lay over him. Kai was and wasn't quite human. What he was, Chernov had no guess.

At the moment, it was enough that Kai appeared to be one of those few who annoyed Xerynn. Unlike Chernov, he was nearly positive Xerynn wouldn't even attempt seducing Kai. He'd seen how the god had been when they'd brought Kai in for questioning. Not protective, not exactly. More like a child at recess not wishing to share.

He tucked his phone away again and picked up another file.

Something to ponder for another time. He looked across the room to catch Ethan's gaze, smirking when the other detective glanced away quickly, the red not quite gone from his ears and jawline. Though, I'm pretty sure I know how to keep tabs on you now, Kai.

#detective alexei chernov #kai hunter walker #hhnf

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david-talks-sw · 2 years

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Oh hello.

You might be wondering how we got to this point. You know, with me playing as a stormtrooper, running through a tunnel!

Let's start at the beginning.

So as I've mentioned a couple of times before, I still play Jedi Academy, because with the mods it's the best thing ever, despite having been originally made in 2003. The mechanics used for the lightsaber duels are widely considered to be the best ones so far, and when you use cheats, like, seriously, you don't even need a story mode, you have full control over the NPCs and literally every character in the saga at your disposal: you can make up your own story.

From playing as Sidious facing a mutiny against over 100 Inquisitors, to Old Ben on an undercover mission to save Mon Mothma, to Rey training under Kyle Katarn to Jedi Master Dooku fighting side-by-side with Yoda against cultist assassins.

It is. Fucking. Awesome. And it's primarily thanks to the modding community on JKHub.

Now, in the game there's this mission, you gotta save, 20 prisoners, four-by-four. A rancor is roaming the labyrinth-like grounds, and you gotta keep it at bay so that the prisoners can escape.