#As it always is when love and abuse coexist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

komorim · 1 year

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something more

-> naoya x f!reader (kamo!reader)

[ synopsis. ] naoya had a reputation for being misogynistic, and he certainly didn’t believe that he would ever fall in love with the disgusting creatures called women. the only one worthy of his attention was the strongest female sorcerer, a woman who was nearing in skill to gojo satoru himself. yet the attention doesn’t mean he would treat you any better. but he wished he did.

[ content warnings. ] manga spoilers. misogyny. kidnapping. heavy angst. character death. mentions of child abuse. mentions of suicide. mentions of murder. mentions of attempted murder. mentions of torture. mentions of inhumane experiments. mentions of disability. allusions to sex. miscarriage. description of gore. reader is underweight. reader is older than naoya. belated love epiphany. more pain, possibly more than the suna one :)

[ word count. ] 3.7k

[ author’s note. ] wow. this story went from the original 10+ chapter fanfic to a 3 chapter fanfic to a one shot. after so many trial and errors, i finally decided to make this a one shot, even if that means i’ll have to cut some major plot points. the reason being that this story was developed a bit over a year ago, and i’m honestly starting to lose interest in finishing this as a series. well, here it is!

[ previously named: a cracked shell ]

“i’m home,” naoya says as he slides open the door to your shared room. yet he doesn’t find you in there. he’s confused to say the least. even though you had a small fit with him the other day, it wasn’t nothing serious. you would always pretend as if nothing had happened. you were just like that. you didn’t like conflict, so in order to avoid it, you became somewhat of a pushover when it comes to most things.

your boundaries are set very low, and they continue to lower with every violation of them. it was one of the reasons you and naoya could coexist. he wished for an obedient little wife, and although you weren’t obedient per se, your character in its nature was close enough.

you never acted out of line as you were clear of the troublesome headache it would bring you. and naoya was okay with that.

it would be an understatement to say that his expectations for his wife also lowered. the original idea in his mind was that he would marry a docile, mindless woman who would do everything he asked of her without question. and you don’t fit that description. but he’s okay with you.

you, who is a sorcerer strong enough to rival geto and gojo.

it wasn’t a secret that naoya had always admired the strong. and even if it’s a woman, he’ll show some degree of respect to them as long as they’re stronger or on par with himself.

which is why he’s so lenient with you.

he remembers how miserable you looked when he first met you at the kamo estate when he was eight and you were nine.

the only reason he appeared at the kamo estate was that he heard of a secret kamo child that had been recently escorted back to the estate. though he wasn’t the type to come for solely this minor, insignificant purpose. no, he came since he heard the rumors of what you were.

not only had you inherited the kamo technique of blood manipulation, you also had an immense amount of cursed energy within you. though what made you the most special of all was the essence of your cursed energy.

a cursed energy with scent.

and not only did your cursed energy have a scent to it, the scent was odd. it had the ability to put people in a drunken state upon breathing in the fragrance too much. it was truly odd. something like this had never been seen. it was probably why the kamos were so hell-bent on bringing you back to the estate to recognize you as one of their own.

nine year old you was very similar to how you are like now. quiet, appearing to be uninterested in almost everything, and eerie. almost twenty years later of knowing you, he could never pinpoint exactly what it was, but you always seemed off. it was an eerie aspect that made others uncomfortable in your presence. maybe it was a dominating attribute that came with being that strong.

yet what he didn’t understand was why you always looked so miserable. you were so strong that you could destroy a city and possibly more if you wished. but you were never happy. eight year old naoya thought that if he was that gifted, he’d never have a bad day in his life. maybe it’s because you were born a girl that you are unable to be happy. after all, the elders always spoke of how unlucky it is to be a girl.

that was the first time he met you. only being able to get a glance of your face in a open room. the next time he saw you was at the goodwill event. you appeared to be the same as before. you didn’t speak much, you still looked miserable and unbothered, and you still had that eerie feeling about you.

around this time, naoya had been raised by the zenins’ misogynistic ideals for so long that he has also adopted them himself. and even if he knew that your current abilities can rival even the two most powerful jujutsu sorcerers, you were just a woman. you were born with the right, immense power, but the wrong gender. you were bound to one day become someone’s wife one day, confined to the chains of marriage and the duties of a woman.

your talent and power will succumb to nothing. it’ll all be useless.

maybe that’s when he first started hating you. he envied you for having the power he could not. his eyes grew red at the thought that a woman had received the main inherited jujutsu technique of the kamo clan when he himself only inherited a sub technique of the zenin. he feels frustrated that you have all this power and he’ll never be able to see its full potential since you’re a woman that’s destined to be in a house and nowhere else.

maybe that’s why he was desperate to hunt you down during the goodwill event. he was desperate to prove himself better. he couldn’t stand being weak compared to someone who’s power will become useless one day anyways.

but he lost. zenin naoya had lost. it was humiliating really; the way you barely looked at him as you successfully constrained him, proceeding to leave without a care in the world.

he had felt a new kind of sensation that day. a strong urge to see what kind of faces you can make other than that miserable, unbothered expression.

so when he found out from his father later on that you’ve been engaged to him, he found it perfect. he’ll have the rest of eternity to make you say something, feel something more than hopelessness. you could tell that his preference for said feeling would be suffering, but it’s not like he ever succeeded, so you didn’t pay his unwell intentions much thought anyways.

it was at this point when he finally found out why you always looked miserable. after all, the least he could do as your fiancé was get to know you, albeit you didn’t want him to.

when he heard about your life so far, he laughed a bit. you’re so strong and yet you couldn’t prevent any of the tragic events in your life. the elders were right. a woman like you was destined to live out an unlucky life. but maybe yours was a bit too unfair, even by naoya’s opinion.

secret child born to loving parents, you had been raised without the kamos’ knowledge. at the age of nine, shortly before naoya first met you, an escort had appeared at the peaceful apartment you lived at and supposedly murdered your father. your mother fell into hysteria and blamed your existence for the death of her only love. she looked at you with hatred, with the intent to kill her only child. and when she regained some sense of logic, she would hold you closely and cry. he bets that this on and off behavior you endured also dried you up emotionally. and apparently your mother too, for she committed suicide in her room less than a year later.

before doing so, she didn’t forget to smash a rock onto your head. either trying to take you with her or trying to enact some revenge for the love of her life he doesn’t know. but what he does know is that the damage caused absolutely destroyed your right ear.

irreparable loss of hearing.

however unlikely, it was probably the hearing of your tragic childhood that made naoya show you a bit of kindness after the marriage. he showed some form of respect for you, the one who survived such a past and also you, the one stronger than himself.

you had also noticed this. how he wasn’t exactly like how the rumors depicted him. but you paid no mind, as he still treated you as lesser than. it was to be expected. and although the younger you would scowl at the disrespect shown by someone younger than you, the current you couldn’t care less.

you were only a wife to naoya for one reason. to escape being assigned as the next clan leader.

you could never take that position. not when you saw how the kamo clan had crushed your family. not when you saw how noritoshi hated you for receiving the attention of the elders. you knew about the boy. his mother being a mistress made his standing in the clan awkward. and you knew how much he needed to be the next clan leader in order to reunite with his mother.

so you allowed him to take the position of heir. you declined as your uncle, the clan leader, tried several times to make you the heir. you knew why he treated the two of you so differently. one was the only child of his only little sister, the last blood relation to her on this world, and the other was simply a mistress’s son, albeit his own.

but you couldn’t destroy a family the way he destroyed yours. you didn’t want to watch as noritoshi falls into despair like you. so even when your uncle pressured you with the choice or either marriage or heir, you confidently chose to be married off.

and what a choice it was.

from day one of being zenin y/n, you already disliked the atmosphere of the zenin household. but alas, it was the place where you would be living for probably the rest of your life.

and when the year passed by and you still had no sign of child, the zenin naobito had attempted to have you divorced.

least to say naoya was furious when he heard. why? because he finally had the second strongest sorcerer chained to his side. how was he supposed to just willingly give you up? but he and yourself both know what the cause for your lack of child was.

the fact that naoya refused to touch you.

it’s not like you minded. you had no emotions for your husband; you couldn’t care less if he had someone pleasuring him outside. in fact, you’d probably be better off if he did.

but that wasn’t the reason naoya didn’t want to lay a finger on you. suprisingly, he had more than just one single reason.

one of which was that he still didn’t want to be so intimate with such a lowly creature, a woman. but he needed an heir and he knew this well. actually, it would be best to have his heir be birthed by you. the possibility of your child inheriting some of your incredibly unnecessary cursed energy, or better yet, inheriting your unique scent would be splendid.

but the most important reason was that your body most likely couldn’t handle it. not to mention the mental toll that your past and even the duration you were a sorcerer had on you, you had a more concerning issue. you turned sickly after overexerting yourself during the time at jujutsu high. and although he shouldn’t care so much for a mere woman’s life, he knew that you were different, and he couldn’t afford to lose such a valuable asset like yourself.

he’s seen how pregnancy does a woman over, and as much as no one would believe it, he doesn’t want that to happen to you. either for his own selfish reasons, or for the reason he dreads, the reality was that he was contempt with not having an heir in the mean time.

so divorcing you? absolutely out of the question.

if his father used not having any emotional attachment as an excuse to tear you away from him, he would create that emotional attachment. fake or not, he won’t have anyone thinking of making him divorce you.

so he pushed himself. he pushed himself to treat you as a decent human being, and pushed himself to buy gifts for you when he’s out, going out of his comfort zone to try and pleasure you.

he allowed you and gojo to continue writing letters to each other. although he’s still sick to the stomach knowing his wife is conversing with another man, he knows that ever since you had been more in touch with your childhood friend, your mood became better.

and finally, on your second year of being married to naoya, he was finally able to see a genuine smile grace upon your lips.

it was the wish he had when him and you were still engaged and not yet married. the wish that you could display an expression different than that of your normal, unbothered one.

and it was beautiful.

he knew you were a looker since the day he first met you. and maybe that’s a subconscious reason why he always wished you could show some more emotion. but seeing your actual smile was so much different. it’s almost as if he’s been blind all his life and finally saw light.

and as much as he wants to deny it, maybe he did have a growing place in his heart for you.

so why are you now missing when things were just starting to get better? it wasn’t long after when he first shared a kiss with you and the two of you started acting more like a married couple, and now you’re nowhere to be seen?

naoya first reached out to gojo within two hours of you not being home, and when the white haired man responded with he didn’t know where you were either, naoya almost lost his mind.

she’ll be okay, he thinks to himself. but another voice in his head reminds him of how you’re not in a state to fight. weirdly your physical state has deteriorated the past few days, and you turned into a even more sickly condition.

it isn’t until the next day when he confirms with hayashi, your personal servant, that you haven’t returned during the night does he really lose it.

weird too. hayashi was saved by you as a child, and follows you around ever since to repay you. he’d never leave your side, so why is he still in the estate and you’re not?

hayashi responds to the question with how you were invited out by a letter, and he wasn’t able to see the sender.

it was a dead end.

quite a few months pass by before naoya finally hears about you. by this time, naoya has thinned down quite a bit and also looked abnormally pale. probably from the lack of sleep or the lost of appetite. or both.

and what he heard from gojo made sick to the stomach, so much that he wished to throw up even though his stomach was empty.

you were found.

the bad news? you were found bloodied and very much dead. you were found rotting.

and although gojo was wearing sunglasses that covered his eyes, anyone could tell the way this affected him through the crack in his voice as he struggles to continue on. after all, he already lost a best friend, and now he had just lost his childhood friend; he lost the one that he swore to protect since your parents failed to do so.

not much information was exchanged after the initial news was delivered, for it pained gojo too much to describe the horrendous scene in which you were found in. but he did take naoya to the scene shortly after he delivered one last piece of news that was sure to shatter naoya.

you were pregnant.

naoya wasn’t all that surprised. in the last few months in which you were missing, he thought of you a lot. how you looked paler, sicklier than usual. how you were more sensitive than usual.

and because of his guess, he had treated you much better than before. he knew how you used to get suspended from jujutsu high for being overly cruel when some curse user would overstep your boundaries. and although your sharp edges dulled over the years, he was still afraid you’d have even a sliver of thought to abort it. and he couldn’t let that happen.

but you probably didn’t know yourself.

“we’re here,” gojo announces.

he bids naoya well before waiting outside the warehouse. he already saw it once, and he couldn’t bear to see it again.

naoya braces himself before slowly walking inside. the interior of the warehouse seemed very normal. it looked like a warehouse for scientific research. there were lab tables, and giant fluid cases. the only thing out of the ordinary he noticed was how dirty everything was. there were many blood stains, but he convinced himself that it was too rusty and old to be yours.

as he walks further, that was when he saw it. the small hidden door in the far back. the door was unnecessarily heavy, seeming to made out of hard iron.

even if it was his first time being here, even if he can’t see what’s beyond the door, he knows what’s about to appear before his eyes.

and he dreads it.

but he still pushes open the door that has already been forced open once. it was easy, seeing how the lock had been destroyed completely. but what wasn’t easy was the capacity to handle everything that he saw.

cruel tools that his imagination can help show him what their uses were. red colored stains on the floor and counters. pieces of meat each around the size of a finger littered around the damp and suffocating room.

syringes. tubes of medicine. medical equipment. chains and shackles. bandages, both used and new. disposed pieces of surgeon uniforms, all covered in blood and a weirdly colored substance.

it didn’t take a psychic to know what had happened here. it didn’t take an actor to imagine the performance that undergone here.

the performance of torture. the act of experimenting on a living human being.

naoya’s trembling although he doesn’t notice it. he comprehends the emotions inside him bubbling as anger that someone had dared to lay their hands on what was his. but the truth was that this unfamiliar feeling he had was despair. something his pitiful wife was familiar with, but something he had only now acquainted.

despair over the fact that all this equipment was used on you and despair over the fact that when you were in pain and suffering, he couldn’t do anything about it.

he slowly walks over to the small bed in the corner of the room. he noticed the blood stains on the sheets and the shackles on the headboard and footboard. most of all, he noticed he noticed the small shard piece covered in blood. he knew why it was covered in blood although no one told him.

it was probably what you had used to end your life.

he stares at it with a blank face, and he eventually reached out to grab it, grief and frustration causing him to clench the shard so hard he sees red. but it doesn’t hurt.

it’s nothing compared to the atrocities you endured.

you were missing for months. he had been informed that your death report showed that you had only died a few days ago. to imagine that you had to suffer from these cruelties for months; the only thing in his mind was how strong you were.

he turns around to walk back out. to see you again. he deemed that it was worthless to stay here any longer.

as he was leaving the room that housed your pain, he saw it. the thick notebook filled with notes and scribbles of the things done to you.

from cutting away pieces of you to examine your genetic makeup, to attempting to force the day of labor so they could research his child; every word written was horrendous.

the contents journaling the day it was discovered that you were pregnant were drastically different than before.

at first it was just terrifying experiments performed on you to determine why you had an intoxicating scent to your cursed energy, but then when they couldn’t find anything out, they wanted to try to copy the trait completely. through what? the child you were harboring.

as naoya flipped through more and more pages, he saw how they took their research further and further. and as things failed again and again, their methods only became more inhumane.

when he finally couldn’t take it anymore, he threw the notebook behind him harshly, hearing a violent thump shortly after. he met up with gojo outside the warehouse and notices how his eyes were somewhat red.

when he brought naoya to your body, that was when both men couldn’t take it anymore.

your originally sickly features looked even worse. you had grown paler and you looked like you had starved for every day you were missing. all that was left of you was skin and bones. there were bruises on your skin, littering almost everywhere the eye can see. the ones on your wrists and ankles naoya knew were from the shackles confining you, and the others on your body seemed to be wounds still unable to fully heal.

you, who hated becoming dirty, lay there with dried blood and dirt on your body. your skin had turned gray and you felt colder than ice. yet naoya still held your hand, trying to warm it up like he had done so before.

but he knew it was fruitless. you couldn’t possess body warmth anymore, and you had no need for it either.

but as he holds your hand with both of his own, what he doesn’t know—what haunts his mind—is the question of did you wish for him to come to your rescue when you had passed day by day and week by week in that tiny little room.

were you disappointed as days passed and he still hadn’t come?

or did you think he wouldn’t come? did you doubt his love for you and think he wouldn’t care if you were there by his side or not? did you think you were replaceable?

but the fact is that you weren’t. albeit how badly he showed it, he knew he couldn’t lose you.

he smiles bitterly as he pressed his lips to your cold forehead and thinks. maybe the possessiveness he held for you had a different meaning. he realizes that even if he denied to everyone that he didn’t love you, maybe he did.

but it’s too late now. he only knew now. he’s only now understood what it was that he felt when you left. you probably also never knew.

after all, you left without giving him a chance to tell you.

do not copy or repost my works. likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated.

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rottenprincessshura100 · 3 months

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Lewin and Osceola: Chapter 148 recap and notes

Man did this one hit me in the feels.

We get the back story between Lewin and Osceola and it's intense, sad and full of love.

Osceola is ready to martyr himself to save the person he cares most about; Lightning.

Lightning is like a son to him.

In the beginning of this chapter we find Osceola, laying on the ground and near death after battling Amon. Lightning is shouting into his headset, urgently begging him to answer. Osceola is musing on the last vestiges of consciousness that Lightning seems really upset and "he lost his cool." And it's true Lightning is always cool, calm and collected, he's like Mephisto. But in this case, Osceola is very special to Lightning, he's the man that raised him and is like a father. Regardless of Lightning's normal lack of empathy, his deep love of Osceola is blatantly showing through.

Osceola has a flashback of his life. We see that he has spiritual Indigenous roots, and his family taught him about death. Death wasn't an ending to be feared, but a transition. And a person's death should have some sort of meaning, at least that's what Osceola surmised. He went out into the world trying to find what life truly meant, in order to better understand the purpose of this death. When he met his wife and had a child he thought he understood. He would provide and protect his family. Love and family were the key, the things worth fighting for. That love was worth dying for.

Sadly, his child was killed in a terrible accident. Osceola couldn't stop it, and couldn't protect his child. This caused the breakup of his marriage and Osceola lost everything he valued, his family and his self-worth.

Osceola's life parallels Shura. Both exorcists turn to alcohol after the death of a loved one. When Shiro died, Shura was completely lost. Shiro was closest thing to family Shura ever had. Without Shiro she also could not fulfill her promise to Hachiro and was left in limbo.

Osceola, also couldn't be spiritually fulfilled and have a meaningful death. He had no-one to protect, no family to fight for.

Luckily both Shura and Osceola were able to find a life worth living. Shura became a parent/mentor to Yukio and Rin. And Osceola was given the task of mentoring Lewin Light.

Lewin had a terrible childhood, and seemed destitute, drawing parallels to Yuri Egin. It's possible he was raised under the supervision of former exorcists like Yuri. Yuri's caretakers were homeless people, and perhaps Lightning's were heretics.

Yuri, however, fared slightly better than Lightning. She had a much more loving family and learned empathy and love. These lessons followed her throughout her life. Sadly Lightning was chained in his basement because he caretakers didn't know how to deal with his powers and inquisitive mind.

Yuri lost her caretakers when her demon temptaint (Satan) got jealous and killed them.

But what about Lightning. It almost seems as if he killed his caretakers himself, after suffering intense abuse.

Lewin's story more aligns with Satan. The kid acts like a demon, he has the same crazy instinct to learn everything, impossible power and a lack of empathy.

And we all know what happened to Satan. Satan is mistreated and turns into a supervillain that can't be reasoned with and wants to kill all of humanity and scorch Assiah to ashes.

In order for a demon to exist in Assiah and be content, he must care about humanity and learn to coexist with them. Nurturing demons is really, really important. They do have feelings, they just don't wear them on their sleeves like humans. Loving a demon does have an impact, even if it doesn't seem that way.

Osceola is given the difficult assignment of caring for Lewin. He's a fish out of water, like Shiro was for Rin. (Don't think Mephisto isn't watching this experiment carefully!!)

Lewin states that he isn't possessed by a demon. And I believe him. I think this kid is a reincarnated version of Azazel. When Azazel no longer wanted to live in Assiah, maybe he retired his ego and passed on his heart to Lewin?

Osceola teaches the little demon kid what it means to be human. And I think a lot of it sticks. Lewin is clearly on the side of Assiah.

When we snap back to the future, we see Lewin and we don't even get a chance to read his emotion, but whatever it is, it's serious enough to scare the shit out of Bon. Lewin knows his father is ready to die, and will that cause the demon finally emerge out of Lewin? Will Lewin be the next person displaced? Will he become lost too?

Is Lightning's grip on human affection and love enough to help him weather the emotional storm that is coming? Will fighting for Assiah be enough to give him meaning?

Osceola's death will be a test.

Now we wait to see if Lewin passes that test.

Will the new Azazel be a Mephisto? Or will he be a Lucfer/Satan?

Do we have any concerns about Lightning?

Does he just tell humans what he wants them to hear?

Or does he really have feelings?

He lied about this his family... after telling the truth.

His words can be contradictions...

He also said he wanted to be a hero, loved humans and the world. He said he wasn't into revenge and liked Assiah the way it was. He didn't have a secret ambition.

What if that was a lie?

#blue exorcist #Lewin Light #Lightning #osceola redarm #mephisto pheles #shura kirigakure #yuri egin #rin okumura #yukio okumura #shiro fujimoto #blue exorcist theories

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lovl3igh · 1 month

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alicent as a mother is always so intensive subject, cause where tg refuse to admit that alicent was a bad mother, tb don't give her justice in reasons why that happened (it's not general, both teams has exceptions ofc)

tg defend her saying it's not her fault, she was used, she didn't want those children, they forced her, but was it said otherwise? yes, she was bad mother because of her own trauma and assault she experienced but she was still a bad mother. having an "excuse" don't change that

and not every time that someone said she is not a good parent, they need to add why. no need for assuming that person who says it, doesn't know the reasons. they can say why alicent became bad parent or the way alicent shows bad parenting or that she is just that, bad mother, they can say all of it or just one thing. all of that coexists

before I'll start: there's most stuff from the show, but there's book spoilers, maybe that will be also show cannon in the future, I dunno, sorry for mistakes, english is not my first language

we have evidence of her being basically sold by her father, sa'd by viserys, forced to birth one child by another. she was motherless child forced to becoming a mother before she was ready. she was not a fan of her children, we see her unhappy with them, and when she speaks it's about dry facts like the labour and not her feelings. she does not care for them that way, which is fine bc she not wished for them and she's still a child herself, but that's a fact

we see her later with her kids and again we cannot say she became better while becoming older. she sees them as her duty (her worst enemy), her responsibility and also (admit it or not) way to put rhaenyra down. otto said to her way before jace was born that he wants aegon on the throne, he already could be accused of treason but alicent remained silent and later she acts the same way. she puts on aegon big pressure, responsibilities and also involves him in act of treason (because again she thinks it's her duty to the realm)

what's more she abuses him physically and mentally. we see her beating him more than once, screaming or neglacting him (all of that are forms of abuse). blames him for aemond's losing an eye while it was her responsibility to watch her kid or a servant and guards', not his (you can say also viserys', there was never a dispute if he's a good father, we know he isn't, it's about alicent only discussion then)

aegon in his 20s has to ask his mother if he's being loved, how sick is that? that he drowns in need of attention? (you can say he deserves all of this but the truth is alicent - and viserys ofc - failed to raise him well and now she fails to punish him, cause he should be sent to the wall, instead she beats him and let's him be a monster to another girl, now as a "king". all not to protect him but to protect his reputation, all she does there is bc of her sense of duty)

helaena hates being touched by her own mother, why wouldn't she? child bride alicent did the same to her daughter, knowing what a menace her son is. she does not understand haelena, she forces her to early marriage, childbirting, unhappy life. (and be fr, haelena might not like touching generally but 1. it's speaks even worse about alicent who touches her againts her will and married her to sexual predator, 2. she didn't mind being touched by jace who not really knowing his aunt was far more gentle)

absence of daeron would say more about their relation if not for long time skips, the truth is sending away little child is a form of neglacting however we do not know if they were in touch and how often. i know it's a common practise, i am glad that baela was at least sent to her loving grandmother in her later childhood, but I still do not like the whole ward thing and i won't comment on it in daeron's case, cause we did not see it here how was it done

I will speak about aemond x alicent relation though which is by far the most interesting. he is the only one we can say that he loves his mother and cares for her which doesn't automatically means she was a good mother for him. for the dynamic he observes alicent needs protection from men around her (rightfully so) and decides to lie to the king to protect her. not only he usually lives meeting her expectations (ekhem ekhem not anymore ig) but can initiate his actions to please her even if that means he'll go against his own wishes (searching for aegon to make him a king)

the fact is he was much miserable for not having dragons AND for being bullied. yet two things we have: first alicent as queen could easily arrange aemond going to dragonstone to claim dragon or take rhaenyra's deal to have syrax's egg. second - she blames velaryon boys as if she wasn't the one who destroyed good relations between kids and as if aegon weren't bellwether for bullying actions (YES, JACE AND LUKE ARE GUILTY TOO, but we discuss here alicent dynamics with her kids, so I point her fault right now) and she raised one child to bully others, his own siblings

then we have the children's fight and aemond loses his eyes. one of the best scene when alicent attacks rhaenyra, 10/10 love everything here. that's gonna sound harsh but alicent's behaviour here screams about duty too. it shouldn't at all, her child just lost his eye, her priority should be to comfort him. instead she wants rhaenyra to take responsibility for having bastards (that's not the case), aegon for not taking care of aemond (it's her responsibility), viserys to admitting her own sacrifices weren't for nothing. she put here herself and her needs above aemond, she used his wounds to attack rhaenyra and her children (no, I do not say she didn't care aemond got hurt, don't put words in my mouth)

"if the king won’t seek justice the queen will" she wants so called "justice", but stated by her only, where's justice in taking child's eye after accident? would she also break aemond nose for "justice"? if he'd killed luke or jace, would she call for killing aemond? it's not caring mother, it's the queen wanting revenge cause she doesn't like princess' privileges (and also privilege that bastards here have). she calms down when she realizes that she went too far, "neglected her duty", that's not aemond's doing (and also fcked up that her assaulted child feels that he needs to calm her down)

"she was ready to die for her children" desperate actions in the worst scenarios to not matter that much with previous behaviour, especially since her children were doubting if she would do that for them in the first place (that ig you can take as opinion, but if mother abuses child for years how much does it counts if she gives up her life for this child?)

regarding rhaenyra she doesn't understand a good mother patterns as well. she either doesn't care nyra will suffer or doesn't understand that mother who just gave a birth to a child, will not send it away even for a second. she doesn't care or understand mother will not allow for taking her child's eye for "duty". she doesn't understand that bastards are not any less worthy of love. her view of motherhood is sacrifising herself, not enjoying what she can

perhaps she did not know any better, her mother was a child bride (forced by old pedo otto) just like her, she did the same to helaena and unfortunately later that happened to jaehaera. she was abused in many ways but later also became an abuser. and all that because she thought life is about duty and sacrifice. she had every reason to be bad mother and she became one but that it should be seen as a fact while some of you see it as an opinion and criticism

if you read all of that - seven hells okay

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viaoverthemoon · 9 months

Text

Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Welcome back, Beloved Reader!

I was happy to see some of you guys were as excited as me for this chapter. I couldn't wait to post it ahhh!!

I hope y'all are ready for some questions to be answered.

Why did Leon bed Lady Ada? Will you ever forgive him? How does Lady Ada feel about all this? I don't know guys... It feels like the King of Duevaula is hiding in the shadows...

Let us continue!

☆*: .｡. Behind Closed Doors .｡.:*☆ Chapter 3

Medeival!Leon Kennedy x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lady Ada shares a few words with you, leaving you with harsh words and feelings burning the tip of your tongue. Meanwhile, Leon recalls the night he spent with Lady Ada and plans a way to explain what had happened.

Tw: Mentions of pregnancy, coercion into sex, sa(??), abuse, violence, angst

Please be careful reading this if you're easily triggered by these things and still want to read.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Enjoy!

☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.

The garden has always been your place of peace.

Flowers of all kinds lined in rows and rows of different shapes, colors, and patterns. Large, well-kept, luscious trees planted sporadically all around the space. Bushes shaped like bunnies, horses, and lions.

For once, your mind has a moment to rest after this horrible week.

You'd spent most of your days locked away in your rooms, ignoring everyone's attempts to coax you out.

Albeit, by the third day your mother had had enough.

She'd stormed into your chambers, demanding you to get out of your head for five minutes and think about how you're going to win the prince back.

And that had caused you to spiral even further.

You abandoned indoors and took to the gardens, seeking the comfort of fresh air and solitude.

So now you sit on a bench, embroidery the only thing keeping all of your screws from falling out.

Your concentration is so deep you don't even hear the footsteps nearing you.

"Your highness."

You instantly recognize the voice, hands pausing the delicate work as you slowly look up.

Lady Ada offers a curtsy, much less deep than the one she'd done for the King.

She doesn't respect you.

You take a deep breath, setting the embroidery aside. "Leave us."

The guards, save for Jill, leave immediately.

"Lady Ada... To what do I owe the pleasure?"

A smirk spreads across her red lips, posture straight as an arrow as she rests a hand on her small belly. "I merely seek conversation with the princess I am to coexist with."

You try not to sneer as she gracefully sits beside you on the bench. "Apologies, I'm sure you don't mind," Her proximity makes your skin burn. "My God, this pregnancy sure is doing a number on my feet."

Your fists ball, your eyes unable to hold hers. "I'm sure."

She seems to notice your anger, smiling in a way the Devil would approve of. "Surely your highness isn't intimidated by me... She wouldn't think that I could take her place-"

You stand, turning and looking down your nose at her in disgust. "It would do you well to remember your place, Lady Ada." You bend to grab your embroidery, pausing when your lips near her ear. "You may carry his baby, but you do not carry the other half of his crown. Always remember that."

And with that, you turn on your heel and walk away, Jill three paces behind you.

☆ Leon ☆

Read. Flip. Sign.

He can feel his gaze.

Read. Flip. Sign.

He sees him flinch in his peripheral.

Read. Flip. Sign.

He clears his throat.

"What are you waiting for?"

His posture straightens, avoiding eye contact as his chin angles high. "Permission to speak freely, your highness?"

Leon waves a hand. "You always have, Chris. Do not fear me now."

Chris, Leon's personal guard, sighs as his body relaxes. He steps closer to the desk and leans his hip on it. "Why don't you just tell her what happened?"

Leon gives him an obvious look, causing Chris to glare at him. "I know what the King said, but you love her. She loves you. I'm sure her highness will understand-"

"Loved."

...

"She loved me."

Chris scoffs. "Do not be ridiculous. You two spent years sneaking beyond your palace walls just to see each other and you're to tell me she just... stopped loving you?"

Leon exhales, dropping his pen and slumping in his chair.

He needed to think.

The effects of that night... The possibility of a bastard child...

A mistress.

It wasn't even him. He never wanted this. Never wanted her.

If only he'd stood his ground...

But now, it was too late.

"Father... I can't. It wouldn't be right."

Dim candle light illuminates the chamber, casting a dark shadow over the King's face.

He'd never been the type of monarch that accepted the word 'no'. Anyone to do so were immediately thrown into the dungeon and left to starve to death or until they realized how much they needed their King.

"And why would it be wrong? A King is not tied to a woman, son. A woman is tied to a man. You need not hold yourself for her."

Leon shook his head. "I've promised myself to her. I will only bed Princess-"

His words are cut off by a hand around his neck.

His body is slammed into a nearby wall as the King towers over him. Tension builds as Leon fights for air, clawing at his father's hand. But he doesn't let go, heaving heavy breathes as he grits out his words. "Listen to me boy. I will not have a child in the body of a man for a son. You will not be a man until you have bed a woman."

Black shadows form in the corners of Leon's vision, breaths coming out in shortened gasps. But the King isn't done. "So make of your mind Leon. You either bed the woman I've set for you, or am I going to have to make an example of that pretty little princess of yours?"

Leon's eyes widen, shaking his head as best he could with the hand around his throat.

Not her. Anyone but her.

He doesn't have time to think about his decision, only worried about what he could do to you.

His answer comes out pathetic, a whisper that leads back to a broken heart. "I'll- do it-"

The King let's go instantly, inhaling deeply as his fist clenches. "Excellent."

He ignores Leon's coughs and gasps for air, clapping his hands. "Bring her in."

The doors open and the skirts of a deep red dress embroidered with black flowers flows gracefully into the room.

The woman drops deep into a curtsy and grins at the prince. "Hello, your highness."

That night was not one that Leon would ever forget. His father watched every second. Up until the end, after Lady Ada had been escorted out. After the lights had all dwindled and melted wax pooled at the bottom of candelabras. After Leon had wiped his tears and sat in the bed with slumped naked shoulders.

And then, The King stood from his chair to leave. But not without saying these words.

"You will not tell anyone. Not even your mother. If you do, you can kiss your princess goodbye." He'd placed a hand on Leon's shoulder.

"You are a man now. Congratulations, son."

☆

"Ouch! Nara Vella!"

Your sister grimaces and loosens her grip on your hair. "Oh, sorry (y/n)! I've been practicing but I just can't get this braid right..."

You sigh, gently taking the braid from her and demonstrating how it should be done. "Over, under, untangle. You can do it Nara, just repeat those actions."

She gives a determined nod and this time, completes the braid just as you showed her.

"I did it!" She places the braid over your shoulder so you can see it. "Do you like it?"

You hum, smiling gently. "I love it, little sister."

Nara Vella giggles, throwing her hands up in triumph.

A knock comes at your door. Jill's uncertain voice a moment later. "Prince Leon, Your highness."

You roll your eyes, undoing the braid and grabbing a hairbrush. "Tell him to leave, Jill."

Nara Vella's eyes dart between you and the door, wringing her hands to ease her uncomfortability. "Um, perhaps I should come back another time...-"

The door burst open.

You look in the reflection of the mirror, eyeing Leon as he struts in like a King.

"We need to talk, (Y/n)."

"No. I don't believe we do."

A tense silence falls over the room. The two of you glare at each other in the reflection, both waiting for the other to say something.

Nara Vella clears her throat, lifting her yellow skirts and giving Prince Leon a clumsy curtsy. "I will take my leave now... Your highness."

She leaves, only smiling awkwardly in your direction before practically running out of the room.

Jill frowns apologetically and closes the door to give you privacy.

You huff a breath, continuing to brush the braid from your hair. "I would appreciate if you'd stop forcing my guard to obey you."

He steps closer. "We need to talk."

You hum. "So you've said."

"I want you to listen to me."

"And I wanted to be your first."

Leon's expression falls, something close to guilt overcoming his features.

"Though I suppose we can't all get what we want."

You put down the brush and stand, walking forward until you're right in his face, looking up into his bright eyes. You try not to drown in the weight of his gaze."...Do you regret it?"

His eyes flash. "More than anything."

You lick your lips, forcing the burning tears away. "Then... why did you?"

He reaches for your hand, but you're quick to yank it away. His brows furrow, breaths hollow and desperate. "Are you willing to let me explain?"

Are you?

He waits for your answer, both breathing the other's air. Your lips are close enough to share a kiss, something you'd normally kill for...

But you aren't ready to get your heart broken again.

You inhale, about to give your answer.

But then you see it. In his eyes, a flicker.

Pain. Desperation. Worry. Fear.

Love.

You'd once told him his eyes were like oceans. And it didn't help that his emotions hid poorly within those seas.

You could read him like an open book. It really wasn't hard.

Before... You suppose you didn't want to know.

You answer.

"Yes."

☆

Words would never be enough to explain how you felt.

Horrified doesn't even begin to reach it.

You'd welcomed him into your arms as he rested his head in the crook of your neck, spilling the secrets that'd plagued his mind for years.

And by the time he's finished, you still can't get the disgusted look off your face. "Leon- That's-... I'm so-... Great Gods, I wish you'd told me earlier." You gently run your fingers through his hair. "I feel like such an ass. I'm so sorry for not hearing you out, my love."

You coax his head from your neck and hold his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks. "You are a man. To me, and by definition. It wouldn't have mattered if you had bed a woman first or not. I will never see you any different." His eyes begin to water and his lip wobbles. "Your father, is a fool to see you any different."

Leon sighs, removing his hands from your hips and placing them over yours. "And... You still love me? Even though I didn't save myself for you?"

You shush him, brows furrowing. "Of course I do. That wasn't your decision." You look him deep in his eyes, placing a hand over his heart. "It wasn't your fault."

His eyes close. "It wasn't my fault."

"It wasn't your fault."

Relief.

Relief so strong his shoulders slump and he nearly falls to his knees.

You're quick to catch him, sliding your arms under his and clinging to the back of his shirt.

His arms wrap around your waist, holding you close as shuddered breaths pass from between his lips.

The truth will set you free.

☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.

Did anyone see that coming? I know for a fact y'all didn't lmaoo

This isn't the end! We have 2 more chapters, me thinks.

Will Lady Ada continue to live in the Kingdom of Duevaula? Will anyone else ever know of the Kings harshness toward Prince Leon? How would the Queen react to such news? Do you still have the chance of becoming Queen?

See you next chapter!

-Via 💕

#viaoverthemoon #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy smut #resident evil #leon s kennedy #resident evil leon #x y/n #resident evil x reader #x reader #reader insert #resident evil 4 #medieval #behind closed doors

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victini-shipps · 2 months

Text

It's been a while since I posted anything so I'm going to redeem myself.

I was scrolling through my feed when I came across a comment that caught my attention, someone said they believed the Toradeen relationship was abusive because it was an bully/victim dynamic. And that made me think a little, is it true?

Firstly, I want to make it clear that Toralei is a bully figure and does very mean and selfish things throughout the series, but what I want to analyze is toradeen relationship fits into this dynamic.

After clarifying, I do not believe that THEIR relationship fits into this dynamic and I will show some points.

From the beginning of the series I noticed that Clawdeen was never the focus of Toralei's bullying, it was Draculaura (and Lagoona). And it makes sense, after all Draculaura is everything she tries to be. Premium student, fearleader, student bloody president, loved by all. Perfect.

Of course, Toralei makes extremely racist comments about humans, but she never says them directly to Clawdeen, it's always in the presence of another monster or to herself. And when they start interacting these comments lose intensity until the moment comes when she apologizes and they finally disappear.

An interesting thing is that Clawdeen has never been averse to interacting with Toralei, she seems cautious, I believe because she considers Draculaura's situation and Toralei reputation as a bully and not because she doesn't like her. Even when Clawdeen confronts Toralei about her actions, it feels more like advice than intimidation.

The situation would be completely different if Toralei bullied Clawdeen and the writers made her fall in love with her bully, which fits precisely into Toralei's relationship with Draculaura, and I know there is a ship (I'm not giving hate, it's more of a comparison about the difference in character interactions).

I don't know if Shea chose to do this because he wanted to eliminate the idea that they consider each other enemies, because to be honest, at no point do they act like rivals (even though it is constantly highlighted that werewolves and werecats are mortal enemies).

Another important thing to remember is that when Toralei was still a bully, they were not friends, not even after the “Power heist”. Their friendship is built little by little and along with this friendship comes the development of Toralei. That's why only in the last episode can we see them as true friends, since Toralei is a completely different monster. Their relationship is free to grow because Toralei has grown up and there is nothing abusive about that. People change and Toralei only changed because Clawdeen gave her that chance, precisely because she had no reason not to do it. different from Draculaura and Lagoona.

Not that Draculaura and Lagoona are wrong. I loved the way they showed that the decision to forgive Toralei is their choice, which is why we don't even see Lagoona interacting with Toralei after she asks for distance to have a healthy coexistence. Draculaura forgives her after a while, but that doesn't mean they are friends. When Frankie and Clawdeen ask, she just says “maybe,” so the conclusion is that Drac is willing to believe that Toralei has gotten better, but it's still a delicate situation.

Anyway, this is just my point of view, don't take this as a concrete truth, everyone has their own interpretation.

#mh g3 #clawdeen x toralei #monster high #toradeen #toralei stripe #clawdeen wolf

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jewishconvertthings · 7 months

Note

This isn’t a conversion question but I hope it’s okay to ask here. Is there anything I can do to support people living in Israel during this terrifying time?

Hi anon,

I wrestled with how/if to respond to this, because I try very hard to keep I/P politics off of this blog and have since I started this blog in 2017 or so. It is not relevant to this blog what my opinions are on this, and it's hard to talk about the topic at all (even in a neutral way) without people accusing you of being Zionist or Anti-Zionist if what you say does not perfectly line up with their viewpoint.

But in the end, I think that this transcends politics. It has to. Condemning the slaughter, torture, and sexual abuse of human beings, whoever they are, is the correct opinion. I don't care who is doing it, and I don't care why. This isn't a political debate; this is basic human decency.

As for what you can do right now? If you have Israeli or Palestinian friends (whether they are in your community or in Israel/Palestine, reach out to them. They may b'ezrat Hashem be safe, but they are not ok, so instead of asking, just let them know you are thinking of them, that you are praying for their continued safety and for peace to come swiftly and justly. They may not feel like talking, but if they do, hold space for them.

There are a lot of excellent organizations collecting funds to help with the great need that has been created by these atrocities. Find ones whose mission and goals align with your own, double check their validity, and then donate what you can.

Many Jewish communities (most, I assume) are currently organizing or have already set up community events to address the issues and to pray as a community. Look at your email - my inbox had no less than twelve different events (online and in person) within the next few days - and check the websites for Jewish organizations that you affiliate with for opportunities to gather and debrief.

And, perhaps, the most important thing from a social media standpoint: make sure that you vet *all* information before deciding to accept it as true and cross-check it with other sources, especially if you plan on sharing that information. Both Hamas and the Israeli government are masters of propaganda, and the Western media really likes to lean into this for a better story. Since Western media thrives on conflict and hyped up emotions to keep people interested and scrolling, there is a strong incentive to publish as much as quickly as possible, the more sensational the better. Use reputable sources, but don't rely on them to get it right 100% of the time. I would suggest looking at reputable sources that have a clear, known bias in each direction and comparing them both to media that at least attempts to be neutral. So far, it doesn't seem like too too many facts have been in dispute (most of the information about the atrocities committed by Hamas has been posted by Hamas as propaganda) but it's early. If you have the emotional bandwidth and have done the research, please correct the misinformation you see from friends, family, and followers. Do **not** jump in with assumptions or non-researched opinions, because that will only fuel the chaos and not help anyone.

Above all, be smart, be wary of disinformation, be compassionate, and (to the extent you are able) be generous. Remember that civilians are civilians, that neither group of civilians chose this, that plenty of them dream of a peaceful and just coexistence, and that intentionally hurting non-combatants is always wrong no matter the justification.

As for me, I will turn to Tehillim and to the words of the Prayer for Peace:

May we see the day when war and bloodshed cease, When a great peace will embrace the whole world. Then nation will not threaten nation, and the human family will not again know war. For all who live on earth shall realize we have not come into being to hate or to destroy. We have come into being to praise, to labor, and to love. Compassionate God, bless the leaders of all nations with the power of compassion. Fulfill the promise conveyed in Scripture: I will bring peace to the land and you shall lie down and no one shall terrify you. I will rid the land of vicious beasts and it shall not be ravaged by war. Let justice and righteousness flow like a mighty stream. Let God’s peace fill the earth as the waters fill the sea. And let us say: Amen

#jumblr #really hope I don't regret posting this #<<sigh>>

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cantsayidont · 4 months

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I think setting STAR TREK: DISCOVERY and STRANGE NEW WORLDS in the TOS era was a questionable idea for a variety of reasons, but one of the more troublesome is their treatment of Spock, which opens some cans of worms I don't think there would have been a good way to handle even if the writers weren't intent on making bad and reactionary creative choices in other areas.

In TOS, most of the Enterprise crew, and really the majority of the Starfleet characters we're shown, are exceedingly racist to Spock with disconcerting regularity. Of the regular cast, I think the only ones who aren't overtly nasty to Spock at least some of the time are probably Uhura and Sulu; they get frustrated with him at certain points, but generally because he's a difficult and inflexible supervisor rather than due to racial animus. A lot of the rest of the crew is openly hostile, and McCoy routinely addresses him with slurs in front of the bridge crew. Kirk tolerates and sometimes participates in this racist abuse, and the only times he seems to take it very seriously are when it threatens to become an operational problem (as in "Balance of Terror"). The main feature that comes to characterize the bond that develops between Kirk and Spock is not that Kirk is significantly more tolerant, but that he will usually (not always) at least listen to Spock's point of view, which the rest of the crew is very reluctant to do (most pointedly in "The Galileo Seven"), and can be persuaded to respect his judgment, which Spock values even though Kirk's attitude and behavior still often make him uncomfortable.

This kind of space-racism toward nonhuman Federation citizens is not necessarily a structural element of STAR TREK (unlike anti-indigenous racism, which definitely is), but it is a structural element of Spock's character. Spock spends a lot of TOS teetering on the brink of a nervous breakdown, and it's tempting (though not canonical) to read his decision to pursue Kolinhar in the beginning of STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE as a response to the stress of being on the Enterprise (fleeing to become a monk!). Even where Spock is not enduring racial slurs and constant microaggressions, you can see how that treatment, both in his youth on Vulcan and as an adult in Starfleet, has shaped his personality. Indeed, this is something I think to which fans of Spock have responded strongly over the years, because his alienation and stress are very relatable for LGBT people, people of color, Muslim and Jewish people (despite STAR TREK's canonical antisemitism and Islamophobia), and autistic people. This doesn't mean STAR TREK stories necessarily have to show Spock being tormented, which is often painful to watch, but if Spock had not been tormented in these ways, he would be a very different person than the character viewers know and love.

Making Spock a regular in DISCOVERY and later STRANGE NEW WORLDS thus presents the writers with a problem: Treating Spock the way he's treated in TOS would be uncomfortable, but avoiding it creates a tension with TOS that the newer shows obviously don't know how to resolve.

Prior to ENTERPRISE, the general presumption about the TOS era (which is stated as fact in some of the novels) is that having mixed-species crews is relatively new for Starfleet, and that the problems Spock faces stem from his colleagues never having lived and worked with an "alien" before and not knowing how to not be weird about it. (ENTERPRISE essentially transferred that idea to Archer's era, where T'Pol gets similar treatment.) In DISCO and SNW, however, we see that many Starfleet vessels have mixed crews, including officers (like Saru) who are much more obviously nonhuman than Spock is, and have for a while. So, how are we to read the events of TOS, with which DISCO and SNW still want to (uneasily) coexist? Is Kirk's Enterprise just a lot more racist than Pike's? That's possible, I guess, but how many STAR TREK fans really want to canonize the idea that Kirk and his crew are unusually intolerant by Starfleet standards? Are we to presume that SNW means to soft-retcon the hostility and constant microaggressions Spock experiences in TOS, shifting the entire onus for his twitchy alienation to his upbringing on Vulcan and to Sarek (who DISCO reiterates is a tremendous dick)? That would be sadly consistent with the disdain with which modern STAR TREK media treats Vulcan (and with the antisemitism of the modern shows), but it's a pretty bitter pill for anyone who thinks Vulcans are neat or cool, which used to be an uncontroversial majority opinion among STAR TREK viewers and writers.

The more sensible answer would have been to just dodge the issue entirely by staying further away from TOS and the period in which it takes place. There are other periods of the TREK timeline that are still largely unexplored (like the early 24th century era of the Enterprise-C), and there's always the option of moving further forward in time, as DISCOVERY eventually did. However, CBS seems very insistent on making heavy-handed appeals to nostalgia that require riding the coattails of TOS, even where that just doesn't seem like a good idea creatively.

My sense with DISCOVERY and SNW is that the producers would really like to simply redo TOS in a manner more consistent with their current vision, but that the decidedly mixed reactions to the alternate timeline JJ Abrams movies has made them gunshy about just declaring that openly. So, it seems they're instead trying to back into it with a kind of death-by-a-thousand-retcons approach, seeking to sand off both the uncomfortable aspects of TOS and stuff the producers and/or the network don't like (like Spock's gay-coding — SNW's determination to no-homo him is pronounced, albeit unpersuasive). I think I would find that vexing even if the producers' vision weren't frequently more jingoistic and racist than TOS, which it often is.

#teevee #star trek #star trek tos #star trek discovery #strange new worlds #st:tmp #star trek the motion picture #spock

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onewholivesinloops · 11 months

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i really love that ciconia engages so much with gender fluidity and the option people have to not have to disclose their 'assigned at birth sex', and how much that has the potential to help everyone. it’s ryukishi continuing to engage with gender issues further after everything in umineko and higurashi.

it's also why i hate seeing people constantly say that yasu/lion is actually X because "that's definitely what ryukishi intended" when ryukishi has gone out of his way to not be overt about many aspects of gender with them and across other characters (zepar and furfur are meant to read as ambiguous for example).

people want to pretend that "lion is a no bullshit sort of girl" or "lion is a feminine man", and if that's truly the case why is it that ep7 emphasized their distaste for such gendered expectations and demands of other people?

why is it that there is no Certain Answer the manga gives like with the episode 8 stuff? why is this not something confession of the golden witch ever clarifies? if this were something ryukishi thought was so obvious and important, why doesn't he tell you straight up, such as how he does with so many other things? ryukishi is always very overt with things he believes are important for the reader to know and it’s why he’s called “preachy”, so if he wanted you to know this he’d say it, but it’s hidden in the catbox for a reason.

umineko is about cishet male as a default power status and how the abusive patriarch is responsible for the family’s problems which is something reflected in every facet of the story (yasu in particular reflects the abuse of all beatrices by kinzo including the sexual trauma but that's something the game is respectful and tactful about so it's never too explicit about it and it even obfuscates it), because that still addresses misogyny and misogyny isn't only about women as it affects everyone, and it’s a discussion that includes patriarchal privileges and systems, things that constantly affect queer people across all divisions just as much as it does women. umineko centers the women’s struggles before the men’s through the aunts, ange and maria but yasu/lion don’t have to be boxed into something specific for their struggles to be equally valid. caring too much about their agab is very creepy and invasive, because it’s always either for shipping purposes or someone wanting to insist that their idea of trans is The Most Correct and any other way isn’t valid. the statement of "yasu's gender is in the catbox" works really well. they're confirmed to not be cis and the specifics are left without much elaboration, because umineko is a story about multiple truths coexisting with one another, and i think yasu is the most queer character of all time for encompassing a wide range of gender experiences and being relatable for so many people. yasu is yasu. they're one yet many.

#ciconia #umineko #gamo.txt

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agentrouka-blog · 9 months

Text

Jon, Sansa, Romance and Choice

Jon associates his mother with this mix of shame and longing, because his entire existence is founded on an act of transgression rooted in potentially no more than Ned rutting with some poverty-driven peasant behind a shed somewhere when he felt the urge. He has issues with sex and self-loathing a mile wide even before his consent is violated, but when it is, he paints over that with an invention of love that coexists uneasily with his perception of the truth. It makes the situation bearable and it's a familiar coping mechanism. "Beautiful and highborn and her eyes were kind" exists alongside his resignation that his mother was likely a "whore".

Double realities are a go-to for the Starks.

But given this longing for something "pure" to combat his own association with being inherently "soiled", is it any wonder that the kid tries to dress up his abusive relationship with fantasies of flowers, with gestures of chivalry or tender declarations - which either defy reality or are harshly rejected and ridiculed?

Jon is a romantic out of self-defense, much like Sansa. Sansa is escaping the reality of what marriage is for a woman in Westeros, Jon is escaping the base mechanics of sex without mutual dignity or considerstion for consequences. Both reach for the idea of love as a bridge. Love means that Sansa is valued for herself and safe from disrespect. Love means that there is a category of belonging and mutual respect. Their lives become more than a political transaction or an inconvenient byproduct of biology. Love adds dignity to a world that withholds it from them. Love. Not power.

The fantasy of romantic love is pretty crucial to their character arcs in similar ways.

This becomes especially interesting when romance and love slide into a place of transgression with Jon and Sansa. What prevails? The shame of the sordid and soiled, or the inherent dignity of love and mutual care?

It stops being an escapist fantasy, and starts being a choice about what they want it to mean. No double reality but an integration of competing forces. Love in and of itself becomes a central value if it cannot work as a solution to reality. Is it still worth choosing? The answer will be yes.

RLJ, ironically helps with that, rewards that.

Jon will find healing and meaning in the fact that his mother did love him, that no matter the transgressive circumstances, she was everything he had secretly longed for and her choice to love him imbues him with an inherent dignity that his status had always deprived him of.

The reality of being her son also frees his love for Sansa from the constraints of being inherently transgressive. It becomes possible. Integrating double reality twice over.

For Sansa, the incompatibility of love and political reality ("It is my claim they mean to wed. No one will ever marry me for love.") is resolved when the real but impossible love, equally, becomes possible, and only after it was made clear that it existed independent of her value as an "object" and for herself alone.

It's just such a neat shared arc about love. ❤️

#jonsa #jon snow #sansa stark #romantic love

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nerves-nebula · 9 months

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i scrolled through your Entire TM(N)T Tag and i simply adore it!!! as a kid i was a less intense version of leo (golden child) but i soon grew out of it and now i’m a lot more like mikey (craving violence) and it’s so interesting to see the two parts of myself coexist in separate people. if you wanna, could you expand on mikey and leo’s relationship and dynamics, both before and during the farmhouse arc? they just scratch my brain <3

(also sorry if the purple text is an issue tumblr won’t let me send it normally?? idk it’s [tumblr] lmao)

RIGHT SO!! buckle up cuz this gonna be a long one :P (part of the reason it took so long to answer sobbb. its too complicated so i kept putting it off)

before farm house:

Mikey found leo very frustrating, Leo got on his nerves with all his boasting and special treatment from Splinter. He also hated how Leo tended to boss them around after getting his Leader role. So Mikey tried to get on Leo's nerves as well (even if Leo wasn't doing anything to intentionally antagonize Mikey at that moment)

this means there's a lot of bad blood between the two, and they might be more antagonistic than is really warranted towards each other. this often ends up with Raph dealing with the brunt of Leo's frustration, cuz despite his anger, Leo wouldn't be able to justify attacking Mikey most of the time.

this is because Leo believes Splinter when Splinter rants to him about how disappointing his weaker siblings are. Leo doesn't think it would be fair of him to beat up on Mikey, even if he believes Mikey is lazy and rude and has no sense of self discipline. But Splinter always talks about how strong Raph is, so Raph is the one Leo feels ok with fighting. Leo fighting with Raph doesn't make Mikey like him any more, lol.

another aspect of their relationship is their competitiveness. Leo and Mikey are the most outgoing and competitive. A lot of raphs theoretical competitiveness has kind of been stripped from him in this iteration due to the sheer amount of stress and responsibility he's been given. it's kind of hard for him to have fun pretending a video game is super important when the slight stress of that makes him feel like he's in a life or death situation. Raph can have fun playing a game, but he'll drop it like a hot coal if it gets too stressful. And Donnie is just generally conflict avoidant, so competitive games aren't great for him.

So Mikey and Leo really only have each other to compete against, the others might tag along in whatever game they've devised but most of the time it's really just Mikey and Leo competing against each other. but since they also have a very REAL rivalry/grudge against each other, these competitions and games can get a bit out of hand or a bit too serious.

a third thing is that Mikey will often lose his temper and call Leo stupid. usually for believing in something Splinter told him. Leo finds this annoying because he sees it as Mikey lashing out because he's not as good as Leo. Cuz Leo's whole worldview is based around the hierarchy Splinter has built.

Meanwhile, Mikey is irritated that Leo can "fall for" Splinters abuse tactics so easily- mind you mikey is a bit more emotionally intelligent than his brothers, so it's not really their fault. but imagine how frustrating it is to see someone you love fall for textbook manipulation over and over. And then act horribly towards you because of something that YOU WARNED THEM AGAINST BELIEVING!!

like that's not really how manipulation works, and they're all kids so its not entirely Leo's fault, but it's hard not to resent someone when you see that the reason it works so well on them is because they benefit from it. it's hard not to feel like they value that privilege more than they value you.

shredder arc (leading into the farm house):

So by this point, Mikey's kind of tried more to be less outwardly cruel to Leo, since he's now gone through Leo's mind and knows Leo is so manipulated that he doesn't even realize Splinter is abusing him. They fight a lot less in the years leading up to/before the farm house, since fighting enemies as a team had kind of forced them to trust and understand each other a lot more.

still, the events leading up to the farm house have kind of brought up old wounds- specifically, the split between Leo and his brothers. Leo spent months trying to convince his brothers that Shredder was evil. Mostly for selfish reasons, and in doing so was incredibly insensitive to Donnie and his other brothers pain at the realization that Shredder was, in fact, up to some suspicious shit. His brothers felt more at home with the foot clan than with Splinter, so they're really hurting, and they hate the idea of going home and having Splinter and Leo rub it in even more.

Donnie in particular feels like he just lost another chance at a better family, like he just brought his brothers into another trap, like no one would ever actually genuinely want to be his family. like he's stuck with splinter. forever. so he's (not for the first time) seriously suicidal. Which Raph and Mikey are concerned about, and Leo doesn't really get the seriousness of at first.

farm arc:

SOOO after Leo begged to be allowed to come to the farm house, things are tense. Leo now understands that his relationships with his bros are worse than he realized, and he needs to be on his best behavior around his brothers. He ends up treating all of them with the same level of deference he would treat splinter, which is really weird.

BUT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT HIM AND MIKEY, SO TO GET BACK ON TRACK- Mikey kind of regresses back to being more childish, trying to get a rise out of Leo, which doesn't work at first. he does eventually end up provoking Leo into snapping at him, and Mikey gets even more aggressive in response (because none of them are in a good headspace at the moment) basically saying that Leo will always be like this if he doesn't stop faking being a better person.

Leo is frustrated to the point of tears because he's exhausted from walking on eggshells for weeks and he can't figure out why Mikey won't just let him act the way he was told to act !! Eventually, after a few rough confrontations, Mikey manages to explain that they don't want Leo's submission or anything- they just want him to be LESS MEAN ALL THE TIME. which includes un-learning what Splinter has told Leo about his brothers.

and, even more important than that, includes Leo talking about his own feelings. AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT!! includes Leo accepting that Splinter isn't always right and has, in fact, REALLY HURT his brothers!!

and this is a lot, but it mostly only happens because Mikey is willing to try (in his own messy, imperfect way) to confront Leo. Donnie is too emotionally hurt to do anything but dissociate and run away, and Raph doesn't have the energy to try to facilitate change within the family this way. He can help the discussions progress, and help the turtles communicate with each other, but Raph doesn't have the emotional will to force Leo to take that first big emotional step.

after farm house:

funny enough, their competitive nature facilitates a lot of camaraderie with each other once they stop treating each other as ONLY adversaries. they can safely be aggressive in a joking way with each other, they can compete without any hurt feelings, it's pretty nice. Leo also feels comfortable asking Mikey for his opinion on stuff, cuz he knows Mikey won't sugar coat things too much.

there are a lot of small issues they gotta deal with every now and then though. for example, Mikey's habit of irritating Leo led to a bit of transphobia growing up. Not because Mikey had transphobic ideas of gender (he's agender himself, he never really understood gender and never will) but because he noticed it irritated Leo and he was a kid and didn't understand the rhetoric he was parroting.

so a lot of Leo's internalized transphobia doesn't just come from Splinter, but also from his brother, who he lives with. and that's rough.

and the way that Leo will still catch himself either implying, thinking, or straight up just saying that he thinks Mikey is dumb. even if he 's saying it in an offhanded way like "lol your so stupid" it's still really hurtful to Mikey, who was told his entire childhood that he was dumber and lazier than his siblings, and that's why he didn't matter. it bothers Mikey a lot more than most of them realize and takes Mikey a while to voice his discomfort, because he feels like even being insulted by it is, in and of itself, trivial and dumb.

but outside of those unfortunate issues, they get along really well! Mikey encourages Leo to indulge in silliness more.

SOOO thats the gist of things. i think.

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts #teenage mutant neglected turtles #tmnt #tmnt leo #tmnt mikey #this is from april 14th :')#farmhouse arc

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decolonize-the-left · 1 year

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The discussion on whiteness y'all are having makes a lot of sense and resonates with my experience as a white person as well. As a disabled queer person whilst I still very much experience white privilege, I very much feel like abled cishet white people think I'm doing whiteness wrong.

And I'd say if there was a "white culture" it'd hinge entirely on appearances. I cannot speak for people of color who struggle with their parents but my experience and a lot of experiences I know from white people with toxic/abusive parents they have to look and feel like very good people like it goes beyond just wanting to appeal to others to avoid consequences the like worst thing you can do in a white family is be honest about anything?

In my own family we all hate each other and always have hated each other and still we coexist in a way that protects all of us and makes things easier for us and I think that on a wider scale that's how whiteness operates and also why when white people emphasize how much they hate other white people that's completely meaningless because like. Yeah of course you do we all very much hate each other but that doesn't mean that we aren't complicit in whiteness because of the ways it benefits us? When you're white then the white people around you fully expect that even if you despised every inch of them that you would defend them if they were being racist or will be complicit in their actions just out of sheer obligation to whiteness.

I think that part of the reason the ways marginalized white people experience oppression tends to be a lot more emotional manipulation and gaslighting + infantilization rather than outward aggression/hostility is because if we have a community/culture not tied to our race that gives us actual loyalties and will make us start to criticize whiteness and then things all start to fall apart.

Especially if you're white american the last thing any white person wants you to have is a semblance of genuine culture, if you're disabled and queer and other things that they want to portray as being a nonwhite and "lesser" thing they will go to lengths to either convince you that you aren't those things at all, to minimize things to say well at least you're not like Others (see: additionally marginalized people of color), and if that fails to take their autonomy in such a way that they can eliminate the potential threat. (e.g white people with visible enough psychotic symptoms are highly likely to be incarcerated in psych wards and physically harmed by authorities but those of us who are able to mask our psychosis do not experience the same level of violence at all)

And I think this is really evident when you look at marginalized communities and how white people tend both to dominate discussions and also to minimize that marginalization a lot of white autistic people who arent visibly autistic enough to have to fight for any semblance of autonomy tend to paint autism as being this purely good and special thing where you just have special interests and are a little confused sometimes and are so empathetic(tm)

When you start questioning whiteness too other white people start to treat you a whole lot differently, when I started to notice my own and my family's racist behaviors as a teenager who finally had access to listen to POC talk about their experience and pointed these out to my family I very quickly became mistrusted by them, they stopped telling me important things and would say that clearly I was not interested in participating with family activities and clearly didn't love them. It's like, once you "betray whiteness" you can't really come back from that and I think that's why so many white marginalized people are such aggressive bootlickers because they've never had a loving/genuine sense of community so they think once they're alienated from whiteness that there will be nothing for them because they've never felt genuinely wanted or cared for outside of that.

Of course that's what whiteness wants white people to think, they want us to be afraid of connecting with nonwhite people because if we realize that there are rich cultures that we can connect with unrelated to our whiteness and that we can and will have plenty of genuine connections with POC in our communities and this idea that we're so hated for being white that only other white people could accept us and it's us white people against the world is white supremacist propaganda then white power starts to fall apart.

I don't have anything to add at all, like yeah. Esp that last part?

Because if white supremacists don't have white allyship backing them then they have nothing. Nothing. That's where their white power comes from.

They'd lose all ability to affect our politics, climate, healthcare, etc.

#asked #answered #whiteness #white supremacy

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lilyfoxonfire · 11 months

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A little bit of a rant, but. And this is a Very Personal Take, so watch out for that.

The thing I wish more writers at DC got is that Jason's tragedy runs deeper than the Joker — but it also doesn't run deep enough that it ruined him from the start (which happens to be a particularly terrible train of thought in general.)

Jason Todd, as Robin, was a sweet kid. Jason Todd, as Robin, was angry, traumatized, sometimes vicious. Jason Todd, as Robin, loved school. Jason Todd, as Robin, hated criminals. He loved his father, and loved being Robin, and didn't quite respect Batman's mission, and had issues with his family. These things can coexist. They *should* coexist — because this coexistence is what makes the character interesting, when you look at him for more than five seconds.

It's all too easy to act as if Jason's leading tragedy — the key moment that defines his path — is the moment he dies to the Joker. This isn't *inaccurate*, per se; the events of his resurrection were indeed mostly influenced by the events leading to, and surrounding, his death. But dying to the Joker does not *constitute all that Jason is.* That's a thing writers keep falling into; this idea that everything about Jason Todd eventually and inevitably goes back to the Joker, and his murder. Both "Kill the Joker" and "Three Jokers" (ironic) approached the character from this angle, and I think that's a damn shame.

Then you'll see people who look deeper, and define the character by his background. Criminal abusive father, cocaine addict mother who eventually dies, a miserable half-life in the streets and slums of Gotham City, depending on petty crime not to starve to death. It's a terrible existence, and the scars it left on Jason's psyche are clear, but that alone does not constitute all that he is. I've heard the following take a few dozen times; "There was never any hope for Jason Todd." Even Batman himself, in some comics, says something to this effect.

There's two camps on this hill, of course. The first, more aggressive, is of the idea that Jason was "rotten from the start"; this isn't at all an uncommon take, both within fandoms and in real life when talking about certain polemic figures. We, as people, find some sick comfort in pointing to people who do things we dislike, fictional and otherwise, and declaring that their perceived evil is innate, like there's something off within their heads. We see this phenomena a lot more often with Superboy Prime, for example — but it's not quite uncommon with Jason Todd, in some circles.

I don't think I need to elaborate on why this is toxic, of course. Reducing these characters — and people irl, when applied in such cases — to circumstances of some innate evil self, a rotten soul or undiagnosed antisocial disorder or whatever, is to close your eyes to any context that might have led to what happened to them. You don't have to forgive someone for doing something, especially when that something is awful, but there is still room to seek to understand why what happened happened, so that one might attempt to stop it from happening again, or ruminate on its consequences.

Coming back to our given example, by saying Jason was "always rotten", these people choose to completely ignore every important (and trust me, they were incredibly important) factor in his life that led to his behaviour. Perhaps unsurprisingly, these are the people most likely to portray Robin!Jason as an arrogant asshole and nothing else.

The other camp is a bit more reasonable. "Jason Todd never had the chance to be more than what he was" is the prevalent thought they hold — from the streets as an orphan to the streets as a fighter, surrounded by violence at every turn. How could he ever have grown past the blood if new blood kept being spilled? It's a very humane take on the character, comparatively speaking, but I feel like it's also diminutive. Because this passive acceptance of an outcome is, in and of itself, a sentence to it. Which is to say — this, and the condemnation preferred by the first camp, are different only in the tone of their voices and the amount of empathy displayed. There's still an acceptance of the fact that this was 'always how things would play out', one way or the other. Like this was Fate.

This perception of the larger tragedy at hand as some sort of Destiny resulting from Jason's background and the tragedy he suffered is most notable in the recent interactive film "Death in the Family". Notice the similarities the many paths have to one another — of course, we know on a metaphysical level that this is in part due to budget limitations. But within the context of the movie, the narrative is that of the following; that those events, those horrors, would be Jason's inevitable destiny in every path his life could take where it crossed both Joker and The Batman.

And that, to me, is such a tragic misreading of what makes his tragedy *special*. Because any reading of Jason's tenures as Robin show a boy who does, indeed, have hope. We see this child be, well, a child — love and live and have issues a kid would have. We see him have problems with his family, sure, but also enjoy their presence, and get close to them. We've seen, recently, how he loved his father. How he and his brother patched things up. We've seen how he admired Barbara. To say that Jason's life would always end one way is to ignore the one true innate thing about him, and that was the arc of moving past one's trauma.

At his core, Jason was a heroic kid who had a lot of baggage. What made him different from Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne was the nature of this baggage — he had no sole event to blame for it, no single tragedy before the Joker. Jason Todd's personal Vendetta was against Gotham City, in all the ways it was rotten. See how he lashed out when confronted with Felipe Garzonas and Gloria; *that* was Jason's target of rage and trauma, not any single event. Ironically, the thing Robin Jason and Red Hood Jason share is this; a rage against an immutable status quo, against the seemingly inherent futility in endlessly fighting to stop crime in the moment, never taking it further, always holding back. Rage against inevitability.

This is a child who could, and was close to, and was *expected to*, one day grow beyond himself. Perhaps it would always be outside of Batman's specific code. Perhaps not. But it was not Jason Todd's background that consigned him to a life of violence. Even at that point in time, at his lowest and within the worst interpretation of it, had it not been for the Joker, Jason would almost inevitably have moved beyond himself like Bruce eventually did, like Dick eventually did. Eventually, people change. That was a 15-year old boy lashing out, and given time, and support, every last piece of his story tells us he'd have healed.

Instead, he died a violent murder, betrayed by his mother, and was condemned to a cycle of violence that was almost custom-built to perpetuate every last worst part of himself. To make every last flaw of his shine. To stoke the flames of his rage and nothing else. And it happened because he died, and metaphysically because the author wanted something to try (and fail) to question Batman's methods once again.

That's the tragedy of Jason Todd — forever doomed to push boulders uphill. This is a character built for a world that can either change or be questioned — but his is a world that does neither, so he will only ever fall further down, further down indeed. And as he does, he'll keep pushing boulders, struggling, trying to go up. And he will fail. He can't ever recover because we, the world, won't let him.

Or we can just make him a magic ninja lol

(I actually like the All Caste stuff, ironically. Could've been done way better, but. Hey. Ducra questioned that boy's ideals without being a moralist jackass. I will take that.)

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paulsmelody · 2 years

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I think what has always kept me staunchly on the side of “there is nothing supernatural in Petscop” is that anything that is actually supernatural is ultimately just a tool used to discuss abuse. Which is not to say that those supernatural elements cannot coexist as allegory and reality, but they don’t. There aren’t ghosts in Petscop. It’s not haunted. Or, well, it is haunted, but by the past. By its creator. By its players. By itself. Petscop is lines of code and a multiplayer system weaponized against defenseless children. The aspects of it that are hard to reconcile with reality are the metaphors for abuse—how do you use the reflection from a vase to traumatize a child? How does playing a melody on a piano fundamentally rewire somebody’s personality and psychology? These are the most fantastical aspects of Petscop, the moments where reality has to allow space to tell this story in whatever way this format can portray it. Were the children Marvin kidnapped playing Petscop at the school? Well, probably not. But that is the only lens we have into this world.

We first see Care NLM characteristically crying into her hands, but otherwise fine, and then Paul plucks the petals from a flower and suddenly Care NLM is blurry, scratched out, red. As though we’re seeing her through the reflection of the vase. The way Marvin sees her? Maybe. Paul is forced to retrace Marvin’s steps, after all. But, more importantly, we see Care the way Marvin left her. The way Care sees herself. The mirror in the bathroom is a nauseating green. Oftentimes children who have been sexually abused—as the “deflowering” scene and other moments in the series subtextually imply is happening—feel as though they’ve been dirtied, as though they’re “damaged goods.” The first thing we learn about Care NLM is that she believes, intrinsically and wholeheartedly, that “nobody will love her, not ever again.” Of course, being kidnapped and held hostage for six months, in horrific conditions, inside of an abandoned building, while your own father attempts to turn you into the memory of a girl who died long before you were ever born is, without a doubt, wildly traumatizing. But would it leave her believing that nobody would love her ever again? Those words specifically? We read them during the same section where Rainer talks about Marvin thinking about Care while he’s in the bath. The framing of this series has always been extremely intentional. And, when you’re clued into what you’re meant to be seeing, it is all extremely unsubtle.

The most supernatural event to take place in Petscop is the disappearance of Lina and the windmill. But even that feels like a fantastical allegory for the death of a young girl that Marvin blames himself for, and probably with good reason. What did you do?, Rainer asks, and it’s a good question. It’s worth noting that Marvin marries Lina’s sister. Out of guilt? Desperation? They were children when it all happened, but Marvin develops an obsession with Lina that lasts a lifetime, and that must have had a psychosexual angle to it—he married her sister, after all. For Marvin to believe that Lina was reborn in Care’s body. . . No child is safe within Marvin’s grasp. But Care was always particularly in danger.

It’s also worth noting that severe childhood sexual abuse is one of the most common reasons why a person might repress memories of their entire childhood, the way Paul seems to have so clearly done. Petscop isn’t a story about multiple timelines converging. The things that happen are all very linear. Hard to put together, especially since we don’t have all the answers and have to make quite a fair amount of educated conjecture, but still very linear. Rainer—with his survivor’s guilt, with his being too old to be in danger but too young to stop it all from happening—took the code for the video game he was making for his brother, and turned it into revenge against an abuser. It backfired, and Marvin began to use the game as another tool for abuse. By then, Rainer had killed himself, yet another plot in a graveyard.

When Paul tells Marvin his room, he starts spelling “da—” before being stopped. Nothing on screen moves for a painful several minutes. We don’t know what happened in that room. All we know is Marvin hurt Paul. And, looking at the previous ways in which Marvin hurt Care—hurt Paul—the silence and lack of movement in that scene, our inability to know what is happening in real life. . . It’s the most terrifying moment of the show. I’ve lost the thread a bit, but my point: Petscop is more based in reality than it originally seems, but it is first and foremost loyal to its medium, and it uses that medium to tell a story that is, at its thematic core, focused on the intersection between child sexual abuse and transness. When those two things click for you, the conclusion is inescapable. As it was for Paul.

#edit: I’m glad this has notes but ppl should check out the rb I added w more analysis :3 I think ab Lina Leskowitz.#petscop #idk just stuff on my mind. taking advantage of tumblrs lack of word limit also less eyes on here #I think I just get a little sad and tired when I see how little ppl discuss CSA as a central theme of Petscop. bc like. it is.#TW csa #ten thousand years of poetry it requires #captain’s log #ok to reblog!

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