#Conservative religious communities and women’s rights

[hannieehaee]

HELLFIRE

18+ / mdi

summary: whenever he was at a crossroads, seokmin always knew he could turn to god. however, with the recent thoughts you've been putting in his head, he's not sure god will show him the answer this time around.

content: virgin!seokmin, catholic!seokmin, religious repression, old fashioned and exaggerated catholic beliefs, very brief mention of homophobia, very conservative beliefs, a lowkey cult-ish view of catolicism oops, seokmin is veryyy socially awkward and not used to socialization outside of religion, his parents are super overbearing, lots of family tensions, seokmin has an estranged brother (jeonghan), conflicting emotions about god, sexual repression, reader is an atheist, afab reader, smut, dry humping, oral (m and f receiving), handjob, penetrative sex, loss of virginity, etc.

wc: 13k

a/n: she's here!! i didnt write an outline for this and i kinda only focused on seokmin's pov for this which makes reader kinda look like she's trying to corrupt him for no reason lol but i promise its still fluffy and cute <3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

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Normalcy for Seokmin had always equated to the church. It was what he'd known since childhood and what he grew up surrounded by up until his current age.

His upbringing had been good by all accounts. Although he had an estranged brother who he didn't get to see too often, he had a father and a mother who cherished him like no one else. His financial means were also to be envied, as he was raised in a wealthy part of town and had always been surrounded by an upper class community – a heavily religious community.

This community was one that Seokmin always respected and cherished. Being brought up going from one private catholic school onto the next as he aged, Seokmin never knew anything other than the constant supervision of nuns and religious figures who would constantly guide him in the right direction (at least according to the bible). While others may think this lifestyle to be restricting, Seokmin knew it to be the proper path for a young man to follow. He never complained about the bi-weekly mass he had to attend with his parents, nor about the separation by gender that was mandated by his school. Seokmin knew all his prayers by heart and was sure of what his role in society must be. In short, Seokmin knew and did all things proper and by the letter.

As a young man (at the ripe age of 20), Seokmin finally found himself in a society that was not of catholic background. After transferring from a two year college in town (one centered around catholic studies, of course), Seokmin was now readying himself to move away from home in order to finalize his education in a fully co-ed institution for the following two years.

It wasn't like Seokmin had never interacted with people outside of the church (or with women in general). He was simply a bit on the shier side when it came to non-religious endeavors and usually only stuck by his religious community, which often abided by old-fashioned rules found in the bible. For instance, Seokmin had been so dedicated to the church that he would usually spend his free time volunteering at the church's food drive or performing with his church group at various family-friendly events around town. This meant that Seokmin's inner circle always consisted of people who had an almost identical ideology as that of his own.

Seokmin felt bad at admitting this (which was why he never vocalized these thoughts), but he could sometimes get a bit tired of the consistency of his life. It was a constant repetition of events surrounded by the same exact people time and time again. He never had any opportunity to be challenged or observe outside opinions, specially not with the constant supervision his community gave youth like him (something about wanting him to follow the right path unlike his older brother). Seokmin knew and trusted his beliefs, so he felt a bit infantilized whenever his own family would become overbearing while ensuring Seokmin didn't go off the rails like his brother had – his brother, who was still a quite a sore subject for him.

And now, Seokmin felt excitement. Knowing he would finally be able to explore the outside world and experience the last couple of years of his college life not under the watchful eye of his church. However, as a strong believer himself, Seokmin had still ensured he would have time to attend mass every week and maybe join a religious club on campus. Although he sometimes felt scrutinized by his family and community, Seokmin had never once faked his belief in God. I mean, it was all he had known thus far and all he felt he could really count on no matter what.

When the day to move into his dorms finally arrived, Seokmin had a difficult time hiding his excitement. His community had thrown him a goodbye party, allowing him to be the main focus of the night as one by one, every adult figure in his life bid their farewells accompanied by thinly veiled warnings to not fall into the bad habits sometimes found in non-religious communities. Seokmin was pure-minded at heart, so he took these warnings with a warm and heartfelt gratitude, knowing that despite his desire to expand his horizons, it was important he kept his beliefs safe.

Thanks to his parents, Seokmin had the fortune of being able to rent a room away from the dorms. His parents had insisted, claiming that dorm life could get quite rowdy and that a roommate who had not been pre-approved by them may give him a bad influence and lead him towards an unholy path. Seokmin, already slightly nervous about heading into the world on his own, agreed in order to give himself a safe space of solitude in case he needed it.

The apartment was pretty close to the dorms themselves, allowing Seokmin a calm commute in his bike every day for his classes. Thus far, he had been in the city for a week, still having a few days before school actually began. He had attended his church club already, meeting all the other members and scouting out who he may be able to befriend in the near future. Everyone seemed pretty much like the preppy rich kids he had grown up with all throughout his years of catholic school. There was a bit more of variety among the people in the club than back home, with the club allowing for co-ed inclusion of members (something which was quite common in church groups, though Seokmin had grown too accustomed by his non co-ed upbringing). They also seemed to come from different backgrounds, but ultimately Seokmin could tell that just like him, they were very likely brought up in a very coddled and comfortable way. This was how your presence in the club first stood out to him.

While everyone seemed very put together and happy to be there, you caught Seokmin's attention right away. Your visible discomfort was the first thing Seokmin noticed. Though you looked as nice and welcoming as anyone else, Seokmin could see that you seemed like a closed book. Your eyes did not light up the same as the rest of the members, nor did you actively participate in the icebreaker activities set up by the club. Seokmin also caught onto the fact that the other members already knew each other (likely from previous years at the college), while they treated you like a black sheep. And of course, Seokmin couldn't help but notice your appearance, which made it difficult for him to look away from you.

Of course, Seokmin had had female friends in the past. It's not like his church separated the pews by gender or anything like that. Seokmin was just slightly reserved. With his constant attendance at institutions that insisted upon gender separation at all times and very overbearing parents, Seokmin never really had the chance to form any type of relationship with any girl throughout his youth. He had teamed up with other female volunteers while working at charities and had even been in charge of showing new girls in the community around the church's premises. However, these were very isolated instances.

As of the past twenty years, Seokmin was yet to ever really think about women liberally. He was always taught that time for those things would come eventually, whatever that meant. It was something that had been repeated to him by both his parents, neighbors, the reverend, and even at some point by his brother (though his brother had said it in a sarcastic tone, which confused Seokmin even further).

And now here he was, sitting quietly across the room from you as he watched you in silence, barely paying attention to whichever new activity the group leaders were discussing for the first charity event they'd hold during the upcoming semester.

You were pretty. Seokmin could tell that much. His mind did not process anything other than your features for almost the entirety of the meeting, being far too occupied by analyzing every inch of your person as he unknowingly held his breath.

His eyes on you did not seem to catch your attention at any point, but they did catch the attention of a fellow member of the group who was sitting near him.

"You know her?", asked the nameless member.

"Oh, uh, what? No, I was just– "

"She's not really a member here, you know. Just kind of an honorary one, I guess."

"What do you mean?", he finally took his eyes off you due to his sudden interest in the conversation.

"Her parents pay for her tuition as long as she can prove she's an active member of the local catholic community. Apparently she just pretends for them, but her parents still somehow bought her way into the club", the guy lowered his voice to a whisper, "I heard she's an atheist, man. We just have to kinda ignore she's there."

Though Seokmin knew that his parents' immediate reaction to such gossip would be shock at the blatant disrespect you were showing towards your parents who clearly just wanted you to not stray away from the path of God, Seokmin was more annoyed at the guy who found it so easy to talk about you behind your back completely unprompted.

While Seokmin couldn't understand why someone would claim themselves atheist when it was so clear to him how life had been created, he still saw it wrong to judge someone for their beliefs. It was oftentimes that churchgoers back home would exhibit malicious intentions such as what he'd just witnessed from his fellow group member. You were clearly not bothering anyone and even looked pretty aware of the alienation the members were putting you through, so Seokmin couldn't help but feel sad for you.

He shyly shrugged off the guy who had made him privy to your information and went back to staring at you as you sat back and seemingly waited for the bi-weekly meeting to end.

Despite catching his curiosity that day, Seokmin did not end up having any contact with you, being way too shy to even hold eye contact with you as the meeting ended.

Days passed and Seokmin finally started school. He had to admit, he felt completely out of his league. Thanks to his parents, he was never properly socialized as a child. While most members of the church would have active social lives outside of their ministry (even going to public schools and participating in non-catholic leisure activities), Seokmin had always been confined into a box that only allowed him to interact with other heavily religious people. This was never a problem to Seokmin, who was happy to dedicate his life to the lord. Except now it was proving troublesome.

Since professors had a tendency to get liberal during discussions at times, he felt scandalized by many of the subjects spoken about during class. He also felt awkward interacting with other people his age, who would share very different beliefs from his own. Seokmin had even attempted to dabble into social media at some point now that he was not under his parent's' watchful eye, but even that had him feeling unseemly.

Overall, Seokmin felt embarrassed at how little life experience he had due to having dedicated his entire life thus far to serving both God and his parents. He was beginning to understand why his brother Jeonghan had left home as soon as he turned of age. He had always judged him for it, but his judgment was beginning to fade away.

Now that he no longer had his parents nor community around (much less his brother), the only comfort he could turn to was that of his nightly prayers.

His struggles continued for the following weeks, with Seokmin becoming a bit of an outcast in most social situations. He was quite outgoing in the church, but this was a completely different environment in which he felt ridiculous every time he tried to interact with people who had had far more social advantages and freedom than he did growing up.

Keeping a low profile had been easy to achieve for Seokmin. He decided after a few very awkward interactions that he would simply become an outcast and stick to himself, only ever interacting with his church club the few times a week they'd meet (though unfortunately never having the courage to interact with you). This seemed to work up until the second week of school, in which Seokmin's women's studies teacher informed the class they'd be doing a partner project for the entirety of the semester.

Seokmin had taken the class against his parents' wishes, feeding them with a white lie that it was part of the necessary curriculum in order to graduate. He argued to himself that this was a subject he would never be exposed to in his community, knowing his community to be slightly ... old-fashioned. This part of his life always made him embarrassed, – not really sharing many of the beliefs his community had tried to drill into him – so he wanted to atone for his lack of knowledge now that he was in a completely independent environment.

Teaming up with someone back home was always easy, as he was quite popular both in church and at school. Here, however, he had already given himself the reputation of awkward and overly dedicated to God – he had stated his devotion to God during the individual introductions they'd done on week 1, leading to low chuckles and uncomfortable looks from his classmates – which was something that the general population did not seem to like. He was avoided by his fellow women's studies classmates since then.

Sure, Seokmin did share a few old-fashioned catholic beliefs such as the necessity devotion to God and the importance of one's purity being kept until marriage, but he did not agree with any other bigoted beliefs shared by many catholic communities. He had genuinely taken this class with the hope to learn and expand his horizons, but most people in it had already decided that he must be a close-minded weirdo.

By some struck of luck, as Seokmin sat back, completely defeated while he watched other people stand up and enthusiastically find a partner, he suddenly heard someone clear their throat to call his attention.

It was you.

He hadn't realized you were taking this class too due to the high mass of students (about 100, give or take). And now he found himself looking up at you from his seat as you gave him what seemed to him like a confident grin.

"Hi, Seokmin," you sat next to him without so much as asking.

Your sitting position was troublesome for Seokmin, as he noticed the way in which your short skirt rid up as you crossed your legs and leaned towards him. You were wearing more revealing clothing today than any other time in which he'd seen you at the bi-weekly meetings. Your attire wasn't provocative by any means, it was just that you were always more covered up at the meetings. Seokmin assumed it might've been due to some scrutiny you may have faced by the members. This made him frown internally.

"Oh ... hi. Y-you know my name?", he sat up from his slouched position and faced his body towards yours, though he was too shy to meet your eyes for too long.

"Of course I do, Seokmin. We're in a church group together, remember?"

You carried a very confident and laid back air to you despite having only spoken to him for the first time just now. You also seemed much livelier than back at the confined room where his fellow church group members gathered. This was likely due to the lack of scrutiny you usually received completely unwarranted while at his church group's meetings.

"Ah, yeah, just, uh, didn't realize you noticed me."

"C'mon, Seokmin. You're the only person in there who doesn't look at me like I killed their dog. Of course I'd notice you."

He wasn't sure how to respond, but that at least answered the question as to whether or not you were aware of the gossip a few of the other members had let him in on.

"I'm sure that's not true ... I– "

"It's fine, really. Anyways, I just wanted to ask you if you'd like to partner up?", you suggested, completely unfazed by the mention of your judgmental group mates.

"O-oh. You want to? I mean, yeah! Of course," he couldn't help but feel relieved at the prospect of not having to meet with the professor after class to let her know he'd need her assistance finding a partner.

"Great. Here, put your number in my phone and I'll let you know when I can stop by your place so we can brainstorm," you handed him your phone as if nothing; as if you weren't suggesting going over alone to his apartment unsupervised.

He hesitated but gave you his number, flinching a bit when your hands accidentally touched.

"Thanks. I was thinking this Friday. Is that okay with you?"

"Oh, y-yeah. Sure," he mustered a toothy smile for you.

You giggled under your breath, "Okay, Seokmin. Looking forward to seeing you," there was a permanent smile in your eyes as you spoke to him, making him a bit giddy.

He bid his goodbyes back and finally let out a puff of air when you parted ways.

The rest of the class period was completely wasted to Seokmin. His mind was too giddy and preoccupied with thoughts of seeing you again, this time in a more intimate setting. The thought made him anxious, though he also felt some weird tingling he wasn't fully sure how to describe.

Did this mean you had noticed him too? Had he stood out to you in this huge hall? The thought made him shudder before regaining control of himself and starting to anxiously doodle on his notebook.

He snuck a glance over at the direction in which you left, now localizing your seat. You were talking to a few friends, which confused Seokmin greatly. This meant that you already had friends in this class, so why would you go out of your way to team up with him? Was his curiosity about you maybe mutual? This question would surely be all Seokmin thought about for the next two days until the two of you finally met up to discuss your project.

Seokmin saw you again the following day at second bi-weekly meeting of the week.

Once more, you sat back and said nothing, only bothering to sign your name on the attendance board at the start of the meeting and taking your usual seat away from everyone else.

Your attire was different from what you had been wearing in your women's studies class just a few hours ago. You had donned a long skirt and a long sleeve too instead of the tiny shorts he had seen you wearing previously. This change in attire made no difference to Seokmin, however, since he already knew what your bare legs looked like and could not prevent himself in picturing them as he stared.

Your presence had yet again proved to be incredibly distracting to Seokmin, who had already been thinking about you ever since you had suggested to meet at his place.

There was no one he could ask for advice about what to wear or what to do. His friends back home would frown at the thought of Seokmin even considering an unchaperoned gathering with a girl – especially an self-declared atheist who was simply pretending to be catholic for her parents.

His parents were also not a good option. Seokmin could just picture the gasp in surprise at the revelation that his women's studies class (one which his parents had called 'useless' and 'made up') had enticed him into bringing a girl home while no one else was around. He cringed at the mere thought of them attempting to intercept the situation by barging in and lecturing both you and him on proper relations between man and woman.

Seokmin knew he was overthinking all of this, but he had an internal conflict. On one side, he knew that this was just a regular meeting between classmates to discuss a project, but this was his first time alone with a girl (one he had a bit of a crush on, at that!) On the other side, Seokmin couldn't help but feel like he was breaking his parents' trust. They had explicitly forbid him from ever engaging in any type of relationship with any girl unless she was pre-approved by them (something which they'd already tried and failed at doing with Jeonghan). And on a secret third side of things, Seokmin felt like now that he was alone and untrained on what life was like in the real world, it'd be easy for him to fall susceptible to desire and betray God's word. He hadn't had any unbecoming feelings thus far, but his crush on you was enough for this fear to be instilled in him.

For now, Seokmin had the rest of his school day to worry about, so he pushed these thoughts aside and tried to draw his eyes away from your figure as he attempted to pay attention to whichever biblical lesson the group's assigned leader read from.

This was yet another biblical lesson Seokmin had heard time and time again. Despite his strong devotion to God, Seokmin always felt a little belittled at the constant repetition of teachings he had been hearing since childhood. Were his personal beliefs and devotion to God not enough? Why did he need other people to give him their own ideas of religion when he himself was an expert at all of God's teachings by now?

He related to your current situation in this aspect. Even if he felt comfortable in his religious stance, he had to join this club in order to prove to his parents that he was an active participant in the local religious community. He had to constantly deal with his parents' paranoia that he may stray away from God in the way his brother had. His constant assurance that his relationship with God was too strong for breaking was not enough for them; they simply couldn't help showing up in every corner of his life even as far away as he currently was.

Seokmin sighed at these thoughts and drew them away as much as he could. His mind was already preoccupied with thoughts of you coming over tomorrow evening.

That night he went home and prayed his anxieties away, turning to the only being he could possibly trust with his grievances.

"Hi", you smiled brightly at Seokmin, hands holding onto the handles of your backpack as you stood in front of his open apartment door.

"H-hey."

He stepped aside to let you in, wincing internally as he noticed the short length of the white dress you were wearing. He could tell by now that your personal style was more revealing than what you chose to wear at religious gatherings. He couldn't blame you, but he wished you'd cover up more for his poor sanity.

"Do you wanna do it here or did you wanna do it in your bedroom?", you broke him out of his train of thought.

"H-huh ? D-do what? Oh, oh! Yeah. I mean, here is fine. Unless you want to do it in my bedroom? I mean, do the work in my bed– yeah!"

He physically winced at his stupid thoughts; the dumb paranoia that this was more than a platonic study date had gotten to him despite having prayed to calm his nerves just minutes before your arrival.

Luckily for him, all you did was giggle under your breath and take a seat on his couch before taking off your backpack and settling your stuff on his table.

Dumbly, he stood there just watching you, catching sight of your dress riding up yet again in the same way it had two days ago in class.

You patted the space on the couch next to you, telling him to come sit, that you 'didn't bite.' The best response he could muster to that was an awkward chuckle and a follow-up on your instruction.

He made sure to leave ample space between the two of you, even making sure to avoid eye contact as he also pulled out a few notes of his own.

Without saying anything, you scoot closer to him, even turning to face him further, though still facing forward for the most part. Your knees were now bumping into his and your scent was near enough to invade his senses.

"Is this okay? Am I too close?", you asked when you noticed him stiffen.

"N-no. I'm sorry. I ... I'm being dumb. You're fine."

"Then how come you won't look this way?", you leaned even further towards him, making sure his eyes couldn't miss yours from his position.

He braved it and turned to face you, though his eyes were trained on your chin rather than your eyes. He now realized there was less distance between you than he thought.

"I'm sorry, I ..."

You interrupted him but grabbing his chin and gesturing him to look into your eyes.

"Do I make you nervous, Seokmin? You can look at me. You know that, right? It's not a sin to look into a girl's eyes", though your words sounded like mockery, your tone was as soft as your eyes.

He gulped and finally allowed himself to look at you. You were far too close now. Things had progressed too quickly, and in ways that Seokmin had thought were ridiculous to assume when he'd been going over the possibilities of your visit today. Yet here he was, eyes nervously staring into yours, trying their hardest to not lower to your lips or cleavage.

"You're exactly as I thought you would be," you started, hand moving from his chin to softly run your thumb on his cheek, "You're not like them. You're sweet ... But you're scared, aren't you?"

He didn't know where this was going, but your tone was soft and your words sweet so he nodded silently.

"It's okay to want things, Seokmin. Doesn't make you a bad person. You wanna please Him, though, don't you? Don't wanna disappoint Him?"

You were seeing right through him. It made him feel both understood but also like he was just as superficial as he thought the judgmental members of your church group to be.

"I just ..."

"It's okay, Seokmin. He'd want you to be happy. I ... I know it's meaningless hearing it from me, but He wouldn't want you to face this turmoil. You can give in. It's okay, I promise", your last words were said in the form of a whisper against his lips.

You were so close he could breathe you in, but his lips were unfortunately still not touching your own. This frustrated Seokmin, though it also relieved him. He felt way too heated to even engage in something as innocent as a kiss.

He knew that his first kiss would only lead to more. He had been so pent up all this years, shaming any desire away from his mind at every opportunity. He had never even pleasured himself, knowing it was frowned upon by God – at least that's the thought that was hammered into him since way too young an age.

He remembered the various conversations in which any thought of a relationship were verbally beaten out of him. He remembered the reaction of his parents when he had let it slip in kindergarten (his last year in a non-catholic institution) that he had a crush on the girl who'd been assigned as his new desk mate. He recalled the way his mom talked down on the four-year old girl, claiming her parents were not catholic and that she would be a bad influence on him. He remembered when his first phone was confiscated from him at fifteen when his father caught him watching the latest Twice music video at the time, claiming such things would lead him to impure thoughts. He remembered the last day he saw his brother two years ago right after a screaming match with his parents who had insulted and demeaned Jeonghan's partner, claiming he would burn in hell for his decisions against the lord's word.

With all these thoughts plaguing his mind, Seokmin let himself become numb to any spiritual consequences that would come from letting himself go. He found himself internally damning anything that wasn't your lips or the feeling of your hand on his cheek and sighed against you when you finally closed the gap.

Seokmin couldn't help himself in whining into your mouth when he felt your tongue tease his mouth open and begin intertwining with his own.

His arms were stiff against his sides and his lips far too shy and sloppy. It worried him that maybe he was not pleasing you in the way you did him, specially when you pulled away and spoke to him.

Your eyes were still on his lips and the distance between you remained small as you spoke up, "Follow my lead, okay Minnie? Let me show you .."

You kissed him again, this time slower and more sensual. It made his eyes roll back.

He took the hint and began moving his tongue in the same way yours did. He also shyly ran his hands up and down your back upon your wordless insistence that his arms wrap around your form. Following your instructions felt natural, though what you did next caught him completely off guard.

Your hands had snuck away from his cheek, with one now pulling at his hair (and making his eyes roll even further back in the process) and your other hand sneaking into his pants, touching him softly through his boxers.

He jumped back and accidentally disconnected your lips, gasping at the sudden intrusion.

"I ... I cant, I don't ..."

"It's okay if you don't want to, Minnie. I should've asked," you drew back a little, making Seokmin jump once again, but this time to make sure you stayed close.

"It's not that, I just ... I don't– "

"It's okay to want me. It's okay if you want this. We can stop if you want to, but ... you can want me ... You won't get in trouble, I promise."

Your lips were still close enough for him to reach, making him hesitantly grace them with his own. Thankfully you took the hint, giving him a wanton kiss that had him feeling dizzy.

He thoughtlessly kissed you back, whining any time you did something he particularly liked. You didn't attempt touching under his pants again, now simply sticking to running your hands up and down his clothed chest while his shyly caressed your back.

The kiss got heated pretty quickly, making him extremely light headed. He didn't know where this was going nor how he would feel afterwards, but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

His thoughts were interrupted when your lips left his own and trailed from his cheek to his ear, licking and nibbling at his lobe before whispering in it.

"Is this okay?"

"Y– yes. Please ..."

Your kisses against his neck had him throwing his head back. If he was mindless before, he was fully without a care now. Even if his community ever found out what he was up to during his first month away from home, he didn't care in this moment. His guilt may come later, but for now all he could do was enjoy your kiss.

"Can I play with you, Minnie?", you pulled away and gave him a sweet peck before asking.

"You ... It's wrong, I– He'll ..."

"He won't know, Minnie. It's okay. It'll feel so good."

You hesitantly snuck your hand under his trousers once more, slowly enough to allow him to deny you should he wish to. His sinful desire for you prevented him from moving, so you continued until your hand was wrapped around him.

"A– ah ... Y– you ... I've never ..." he sighed.

"Never touched yourself like this before?"

"'s not allowed, I ... I shouldn't ..."

"It's okay. I'm just taking care of you. Nothing wrong with taking care of your needs, right Minnie?"

He felt mocked by how ridiculous it sounded coming out of your mouth. But he still felt guilt. Guilt at every moan that left his mouth as you slowly rubbed up and down his length. Guilt at the way he wanted your lips back on his. Guilt at how difficult it was for him to drag his gaze away from your soft mounds peaking from your cleavage.

One thing was betraying everything his parents had always warned him about, but betraying God's word made him feel like he'd burn up until the day he faced his punishment.

Except he couldn't bring you to stop. He couldn't prevent himself in mindlessly nodding at you and asking you to please not stop.

Suddenly you grabbed his arm, directing it towards your chest. You must've noticed his heavy eyes eyeing your cleavage and realized what thoughts had been going through his perverted mind.

"Wanna touch them? It's okay, just ... just squeeze, yeah? That's it, fuck ... You're so pretty, Minnie," you sighed oh so prettily as soon as he followed your direction and experimentally squeezed at your clothed breasts.

He moaned and moaned at both your touch on him and his on yours. But he began to panic when he felt himself heating up more and more, feeling like he would soon reach a crescendo that he would never be able to fall back from.

"It's okay, Minnie. Let go. Let go for me, pretty. I'll take care of you," you must've sensed his panic and shut him up with your tongue in his mouth, swallowing his whines of pleasure as his end took over him.

He had never felt such pleasure before. Every touch you gave him was better than the last, making him wonder what other sinful acts with you would end up feeling like. He shuddered at the thought and went back to the blissful state his high was giving him.

You kept whispering soft praises to him, telling him that it was okay and that he could let go. He hadn't realized that he was crying until one of your hands softly wiped the tears from his cheeks and kissed softly at them. He felt more loved by your care than he ever had before. The seed of doubt was then planted into his head; why would such a loving an intimate act ever be seen as anything but holy?

He began to feel corrupted, but also conflicted on his thoughts on the matter. One thing he knew for sure, however; this would not be enough – he would seek you again and again.

After even more caring words from you, the two of you parted ways with no work done. You kissed him goodbye and told him you'd see him again soon. He responded shyly but you accepted it with yet another kiss and finally left his apartment.

That night Seokmin attempted to pray his conflicting thoughts away once more, but even then, Seokmin left mention of you out of his prayers, fearing that acknowledging your sudden and rapid effect on him would be the downfall of his purity and of the already strained relationship with his parents.

The following Monday, Seokmin saw you again at the first of the two bi-weekly meetings of your church group. As per usual, you sat alone on a corner while the rest of the club engaged in conversation with one another.

Seokmin chose to sit back once again, deciding to watch you from afar rather than participate in the conversation like he usually did, except this time you began to occasionally look back at him with a sweet smile. Your eye contact would cause him to look down with a blush, but after enough instances of catching your eye, he decided to shyly smile back at you. This proved to be fruitful, as you suddenly stood up and quietly walked your way over to him. Due to the conversation being led by the other group members, your new seat next to Seokmin went unnoticed, causing Seokmin's nerves to not flare up too much.

It was wordless but soft, the way in which you shared a seat with him and offered him yet another sweet smile. He felt giddy at having your attention in such a way. He was aware that he barely knew you, but having you become part of his life (in any way you may have wanted) made him feel a sense of pride he had never felt before.

The two of you spent the rest of the meeting giving each other shy smiles and playing tick tack toe on his notebook. When it was time to part ways, you finally spoke up and told Seokmin you needed to head back first, as your next class was far away. Seokmin wanted to offer to walk you, but was interrupted by another member of the group who called his attention – the same guy who had previously warned him about you. Due to the standoffish manner in which other group members behaved around you, you left awkwardly while Seokmin frowned and stayed back.

Slightly frustrated at not being able to bid you a proper goodbye (or walk with you as he had wished to offer), Seokmin's demeanor to his group mate was less polite than usual.

"What, are you two friends?", asked the member in a somewhat accusatory tone.

"I ... Yeah, maybe. Why?"

"I wouldn't advise that, Seokmin. She's a bad influence. I mean, you haven't been participating as much as when you first got here. It starts when you least expect it. Just don't want you to fall down a bad path."

"What bad path?"

"She was part of our faith at some point. Until she got corrupted, and now she just infiltrates our spaces like a nuance. She'll corrupt you in the same way if you're not careful. Take the advice, brother. Just don't get too close," and with that, he gave Seokmin a condescending nod and made his way out.

Since leaving home, Seokmin had forgotten how many churchgoers would cross boundaries without much care. How they would use the excuse of being 'sons and daughters' of God to be judgmental.

He saw no issue with your behavior. Maybe you had kissed Seokmin and maybe you had ... done other stuff to him. But you weren't a bad person for that. It wasn't like Seokmin stopped you (or even wanted to stop you). He wasn't sure why he felt so defensive over his groupmate's advice, but he couldn't help but be peeved off by this interaction for the rest of the day.

His mood stayed so sour towards his groupmate's harsh judgment of you that he had forgotten to do his nightly prayer before going to sleep, even forgetting to send a message with his blessings to his parents like he usually did.

The next morning he awoke to some overbearing messages from his parents inquiring why he had not messaged them the night prior. Seokmin was surprised at himself when his first reaction to their myriad of messages was to roll his eyes and lock his phone back up. He loved his parents, but his separation from them had quickly showed him how controlling they tended to be. But Seokmin realized it wasn't only them; it was the entirety of the puritanical and judgmental community he had grown up with.

Despite having only hung out with you once, you were already a breath of fresh air to Seokmin. You didn't judge him over his shy and socially awkward demeanor. He had a hunch that since you two belonged to the same church group and had likely had similar upbringings, you probably understood why he was the way that he was. Unlike everyone else he had met at this school so far (other than the other members of the church group), you weren't mean to him nor did you ever ignore him. You had seeked him out! The thought still gave him butterflies.

~

The two of you continued to casually hang out like this over the next week or so, though it usually tended to be only while on meetings with your church group or during your women's studies class.

Contrasting with your previous meeting, any time the two of you would hang out now mostly consisted of working on your project or getting to know each other. He had come to find out that you were here on a scholarship and that, as the nosy guy in your church group had stated, you were only attending the church group to appease your parents' belief that you should maintain some type of connection to God regardless of your beliefs in catholicism. You didn't get too much into it, but you also informed Seokmin that despite what the group members believed, you did not have a bad relationship with your parents due to your contrasting beliefs. This made Seokmin envious, pondering about how his parents would react should he ever find himself changing his faith.

Through the few times you saw each other in class, Seokmin grew to like you more and more. He knew now that he felt something for you that he had never before. He had a crush, for arguably one of the first times in his life. There were also more sinister feelings dwelling in his mind, however. Sometimes he would think back to that day alone in his apartment, when you took his innocence (though only partially). He wanted more, but he felt like he was simultaneously sinning and disrespecting you by even thinking about it. He still felt conflicted about last time, thinking himself a sinner and a bad son for disobeying both God and his parents, but he couldn't help himself in wanting more.

A few days later, Seokmin saw you yet again at your shared women's studies class.

Seokmin was completely unable to pay any attention to class today. Unfortunately for his sanity, you had recently begun to sit next to him every time the two of you shared this class. Seokmin had grown accustomed to sitting alone at the very back row of the auditorium in which your women's class was given. The first day he had sat next to a few people, but after mentioning his devotion to God during his personal introduction, he found people not only avoiding his eye and snickering at him but even going out of their way to sit away from him. You had been the sole exception, deciding to sit with him a few days after your meeting at his apartment, now smiling at him as you sat side by side.

Today, you have him more trouble than usual. You sent him flirtatious smiles during the entirety of class, even occasionally gracing your hand slowly on his leg. This had him shuddering and completely distracted, but he couldn't bring himself to stop you. You gave him a thrill he had never experienced before. While his mind before meeting you had always been dedicated to thinking of God and his duties as a member of the church, his mind was now fully occupied by you. As silly as it sounded, he had never felt the thrill of a crush before (specially not one that was reciprocated like this), and now he didn't know how to act.

"Hey, Minnie," you whispered to him as your professor lectured in the background.

"Y- yeah?"

"Wanna meet at my apartment after class today to study?", you now whispered right against his ear, finger drawing figures on his thigh.

"Oh, I– Of course," he coughed out.

You only giggled quietly in response and went back to paying attention to class (though still occasionally doodling cute hearts in Seokmin's notebook).

After class, the two of you walked together. Only a few minutes into your walk through campus, you slipped your hand into his. He was surprised by this, but allowed himself to squeeze yours back. His heart soared when you started swinging your intertwined hands back and forth.

Was this what romance felt like? The thought alone made Seokmin feel giddier than he had ever before. He relished in the simple act of holding your hand and felt pride any time you'd stop for a few seconds to say hi to some friends, never once letting go of his hand and even giving a quick introduction of his name.

You were quite literally heaven on Earth to Seokmin. He couldn't wait to get to know you even further.

~

Walking to your place took about half an hour, but it was worth it the moment the two of you stepped in and you immediately pushed Seokmin against the wall, stealing a kiss from him.

"Minnie ... Been thinking about you since last time ..." you kissed at his neck, pulling his collared neckline out of the way.

"Me too ..."

"Yeah? What'd you think about?", you paused to pull back and look at him, "You don't regret it, do you? Was I too much?", your tone was genuine, more genuine than he had ever heard anyone direct themselves to him.

"N-no, of course not. I've, uh, I wanted more ... Just .. was too shy to ask."

"Aw, Minnie. You don't have to be shy with me. We can do anything you're comfortable with," you shared a sweet smile with him before pulling him back in for a heated kiss.

This was only Seokmin's second instance in kissing you, – last time having been only over a week back – but he now found it easier to match your rhythm and play with your tongue in ways that had you humming against his lips. He wanted to give you pleasure in the way you'd given it to him. So far he felt like he'd been doing well with the kissing. You somehow walked him over to your bedroom without disconnecting your lips, making his heart speed up at the thought of what was coming up next.

He yelped against your lips when you pushed and straddled him on the bed, hands too shy to know where to touch. Fortunately, you didn't leave him hanging for long and positioned them on your waist for him.

"Minnie ... I don't wanna pressure you. So we're gonna do something similar to last time, yeah?"

He was of course in agreement, but ...

"I ... I wanna make you feel good too ... Please?", he almost winced at how pathetic he sounded. He also had absolutely no idea of how to please you. He had never even considered watching porn (being told he'd go to hell for even entertaining such thoughts), nor had he ever received any type of sexual education. As lame as it sounded, Seokmin was completely clueless as to what women did for pleasure. He had been clueless as to how male pleasure worked up until you had shown him.

"Do you want me to teach you how, Minnie?", you asked while unbuttoning his shirt.

"Please ..."

You kissed him again in response, wordlessly taking off both his and your clothes. When you finished, Seokmin couldn't help but feel exposed. However, the thought of his own nudity (sans his boxers) left his mind as soon as he realized you were also down to just your underwear.

With his mouth agape and his arms not knowing where to go, Seokmin simply sat under you and sweat bullets as he attempted not to stare anywhere below your chin.

Noticing his nervous demeanor, you giggled at him and put your hand on his cheek while the other remained on his shoulder.

"Oh, Minnie ... So pretty. Do you even know how pretty you are?", you ran your hands up and down his chest in a sweet manner, "And I'm the only one who gets to see it, hmm? All mine?",

"Y-your .... yes ... for you."

"Fuck. I'm gonna have so much fun with you. Gonna teach you everything."

Despite your words' effect on him, his main focus right now was your almost bare body and its proximity to him. He could feel the heat of your skin against his. His mind kept thinking about what you must look like beneath your underwear, with his eyes heavy and glued to your covered breasts.

"Want me to take off my bra, Minnie? You just have to ask. I'll go as far as you want to go," you pecked his lips yet again, still running your hands up and down his chest.

"Y-yeah. Wanna see you. Is that ... is that okay? Just wanna make you feel as- as good as you did me ..."

Your breath hitched, "Oh, angel ... So sweet and selfless. I'll show you. Fuck, I'll show you everything."

You separated yourself from him a bit in order to give him a full view. Then, in slow and sensual movements, you threw off your bra, proceeding to caress your own breasts as you gave Seokmin a sultry look.

Fuck.

What type of teachings were preventing him from seeing you in your barest of forms? You were nothing lesser than art itself. You were so warm and beautiful; so soft and perfect – both inside and out. Seokmin couldn't believe he had ever considered such things to be scandalous (which admittedly, he still kind of believed). At the same time, he was kind of glad he had never engaged in such acts before, because it allowed for you to be the first (and hopefully last) woman he would ever see in such an intimate setting.

Those thoughts aside, Seokmin was short-circuiting. He was so distracted he didn't even notice you removing your panties and settling back on his lap until you verbally called his attention again.

"Minnie? Wanna feel them? Hmm?", your hands were already on his, leading them directly to your soft mounds.

"F-fuck," he couldn't help but groan upon feeling the weight of them on his hands, "you're so beautiful ... Y-you're, oh fuck-"

Words could not express the unimaginable beauty he was witnessing, nor the arousal he felt at having you so bare and willing in front of him. He didn't know what to do or how he was supposed to react. He felt kind of bad at his wordless state, but he couldn't help being speechless at feeling such pleasure from merely seeing you.

"Like this, Minnie. Just- fuck ... yeah, like that ..." you instructed for his thumbs to play with your nipples, even making him pinch at them. Your sighs and the way you arched your back were enough for Seokmin to want to leave everything behind and dedicate his life to your pleasure.

"K- kiss them? Please, Minnie ..."

He took your order immediately, leaning down to kiss around your nipples, glasses fogging from the close proximity to your skin.

Your sighs intensified and your hand moved to angle his head so that his lips would land on your nipple. Taking the hint, he enveloped your pert nipple in between his lips and sucked, licking and nibbling at it as he saw fit. Eventually he lost himself a bit, allowing his hands to fondle your breasts desperately as he whined into your breast. Your whines for more made him lose his mind, leading to his mind fogging up even more.

This progressed for a while until you finally moved his head away from your tits and stole a wet kiss from his lips.

"You're so good, Minnie. So obedient ... Such a good boy for me," you breathed against his lips, wiping his foggy glasses before slipping them back on.

He physically keened at your praise, not at all used to being praised for such filthy behavior but still extremely pleased he was making you feel good.

"Now ... now I'm gonna show you how to make me feel good, yeah? Still wanna try that, angel?"

He nodded too enthusiastically, glasses coming out of place due to his enthusiasm.

"Okay, baby," you giggled, "Need you to kneel on the floor for me, okay? Right between my legs ..."

Oh. You wanted him to-

He had never explored his sexual desires in any way, so he was fully unaware where exactly this was going, but the thought of looking up at you while he made you feel good between your legs sounded like the holiest act known to human.

He followed your direction, groaning when he saw the hidden space between your legs glisten.

"Oh, God ..."

"Shh, don't use the lord's name in vain, Minnie", you were just teasing, but somehow the reminder of his lord made Seokmin feel a small pang of guilt at the thought of the sin he had been actively committing with you thus far. He decided to push it aside and continue on his path. Nothing mattered to him more right now than your utmost pleasure.

"Lick it?" you used your fingers to open up your folds, letting out even more honey for Seokmin to gawk at.

Wordlessly he got closer and closer, up until his tongue was able to flick at the length of your folds. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding at the taste of your essence, becoming instantly obsessed with its warmth. What he was even more obsessed with, however, was the whine you let out at such a simple touch.

Was it possible for him – an inexperienced and sheltered boy – to make someone like you – a gorgeous and clearly knowledgeable girl – feel this good? He needed to test the theory so he kept licking to his heart's contentment, following the directions your hand gave him as you guided his head against you.

He licked shyly at first, only sucking every now and then as he did his best to act accordingly to the sounds you were making. It didn't help that his mind was plagued by your taste, smell, and the warmth between your legs – not to mention your mewls of pleasure.

"My clit, baby ... Your tongue, angle it here- oh ... fuck, right there, Minnie ..." you angled him so that he could flick his tongue at a tiny little pearl found between your legs.

With all the newfound knowledge he had on how to deliver your pleasure, Seokmin did the best he could to repeat the movements you seemed to really enjoy (at least based on how prettily you'd cry his name after). Despite his mind being completely clouded by the entirety of your person, Seokmin continued to moan and cry against your cunt as he silently begged for more of your cunt against his face.

"M-minnie! Oh ... Fuck. Such a g-good boy ... All mine, shit ... Your tongue, oh ... just like that, angel ... Y-your nose, Minnie, please! Your nose, just- oh! Fuck", you cried for him, at some point taking full control and just grinding against his face as his nose and tongue poked into your most sensitive spots.

Seokmin felt incredibly proud at your mindless state, knowing it was him who had achieved that. Nothing mattered more in that moment than your pleasure; pleasure which only Seokmin could give you.

"Gonna cum for you, angel. Lick it all for me? Be a good boy and take it for me, yeah? Shit!", you practically vibrated against him as your high took over you.

Seokmin kept his face between your legs as you came, doing his best to lick at every single drop of essence and moaning at the taste of you. He allowed you to use his face as you saw fit, reveling in the knowledge that he had given you such other-worldly pleasure.

He didn't know it was possible for him to feel such pleasure from just watching you, but now he understood. If anyone asked, this was what heaven was supposed to look like – a beautiful girl losing herself to Seokmin's touch as he himself tried not to lose his own mind.

Throughout the entirety of your orgasm, Seokmin couldn't control his hips as they ground against the bed with a complete lack of rhythm, simply humping animalistically at you taking over every single one of his senses.

After a few moments of aftershock, you suddenly pulled Seokmin up and attacked him with a filthy kiss; filthier than any you'd shared before.

Your kiss alone had Seokmin struggling to keep himself from cumming in his boxers. You had been testing his self-control from the moment you teased him in class earlier today and he just wasn't sure how much longer he could take until pleasure took over him once again.

"Want me to try it on you, Minnie?", you asked once you pulled away from the kiss.

"That? O-on me?"

"Mhmm. My mouth on you? Is that okay?", you pecked his lips again, seemingly unable to disconnect from him for too long (which Seokmin thoroughly related to).

"Yes", he deadpanned, still out of breath from being suffocated by your thighs and then your lips just moments ago.

You wasted no time in removing his boxers. Seokmin felt slightly shy at this, having never let anyone ever see him nude before. Even last time he had been with you, you had pleasured him through his clothes and not seen past his shirtless state thus far.

But you praised him as soon as he was fully nude, kissing up and down his thighs as you told him how beautiful he was, how pretty and deserving of praise you believed him to be. His whole body heat up at your soft words, with goosebumps forming at your soft kisses that led up closer and closer to where he was aching the most.

He gasped when you finally took a hold of his member, bringing your face close enough to give the weeping tip a kiss.

"O-oh ..." he threw his head back at the sweet yet filthy gesture.

You giggled under your breath and began kitten licking at his tip, sucking lightly every so often. He felt like he had finally arrived to heaven. All those stories about what awaited his good behavior while on earth must've been lies, because he found the greatest reward of all in the form of your mouth wrapped around him.

Getting braver by the second, you put almost the entirety of him in your mouth, doing things with your tongue and lips that his poor brain couldn't even process. He whined and cried at your movements, not able to understand how easily you could bring him to tears.

As he quickly neared his high, his mind turned into mush, not allowing him to register what was going on with his body. All he knew was that his cries got louder by the second, his cheeks now damp with the tears that wouldn't stop falling from his eyes. His hips were uncontrollable, having to be restrained by your hands as he chased for his high with the utmost desperation.

"P-please! I need ... Fuck, please ..." he begged for nothing in particular as his high completely took over.

He felt dirty and disrespectful as he did it, but he came inside your mouth, wincing at the way your moans vibrated while he was still in your mouth. He couldn't help himself; his thoughts had been completely overtaken by the pleasure.

His cries had not stopped as of yet, even rendering him emotional as the high of his orgasm wore down. Now was the moment of regret, knowing he had broken his unspoken oath of celibacy yet again.

This was something all people in his community swore to. It was rarely ever spoken about, but Seokmin knew that he was supposed to save himself for marriage – in every sense. Despite already having quite strong feelings towards you and the things you did to him, Seokmin still felt like he had somehow disrespected you by engaging in such acts with you. But more than anything, he felt like he had disappointed God.

So he cried. He cried into his hands despite how embarrassed he felt at doing such thing in front of you, specially after having shared such intimacy.

"Oh, Minnie ..." you coo'd at him, getting up to hold his large frame in your arms.

You allowed him to exhaust his cries as he quietly asked for forgiveness. He didn't have to explain himself, as you understood. You made your understanding evident by reassuring him that he had done nothing wrong, and that he was still such a good man.

He believed your words and thanked you, eventually calming down enough to stop crying and speak coherently.

"Do you ... do you think He'd be disappointed in me?", he knew it was a stupid question to ask considering your lack of religion. The two of you had never thoroughly discussed religion with one another, but he knew you at least understood where he was coming from.

You pouted at him, cooing at him as you responded, "Of course not, Minnie. He loves you. You're such a good boy; treat everyone so kindly even when they don't deserve it. Treat me so kindly ... No matter what anyone ever tells you, what we just did is no sin", you explained.

"B- but the bible-"

"Shhh. Your faith is your own. No one can take that away from you, Minnie. Even if I don't share those beliefs anymore, I know an amazing person when I see one. You've done nothing wrong, okay?", you caressed his cheek and pecked his lips to drive your point home.

He nodded as he tried not to tear up at your kindness.

Him even questioning his actions' consequences on his faith would've provided him with a scolding from his parents or a look in disapproval from his reverend. But in turn you gave him acceptance and love. There was no way in his mind to believe that being with you – feeling good with you – was anything other than the holiest act he could engage in.

"Do you regret it?", you interrupted his thoughts.

"N-no, of course not ... It's just ..."

"I'd never want to make you do something you don't wanna do. I ... I know we haven't known each other for long, but I like you, Seokmin. I don't want you to think I'm just trying to ... corrupt you."

"You're not!," in a change of pace, he grabbed onto your hands and looked directly into your eyes as he spoke, "Everything you've taught me, I've wanted it too. I ... I like you too."

You smiled at this, squeezing his hands affectionately, "Yeah? Does that mean you wanna keep hanging out?"

"Yeah, I'd love that."

~

Unfortunately, time for Seokmin to go home eventually came and he bid his goodbyes to you.

The two of you spent a few hours after your heart to heart actually working on your project and later watching a few episodes of a show you said you'd been watching on Hulu. It was a nice time for Seokmin to get to know you outside of school, and it only reinstated how much he liked you already.

It was about 10PM by the time he got home, which was usually around the time he went to sleep due to the early hours of his classes the following day. Almost as soon as he finished his nightly skincare and prepared himself to go to sleep, he suddenly got a call.

It was odd for him to get calls in general, but this time around he knew who it'd be before even checking his phone.

It was his parents.

Seokmin had seen this coming. He had gotten too into his head this past week; too into you. Not only had he neglected contacting his parents as frequently as they had agreed (re: every night in order to 'keep a close eye on him'), but he had also been neglecting his religious duties. He had not kept contact with any of his religious friends from back home nor had he even attended church as of late. And surprisingly ... Seokmin had not minded these recent developments. He felt freer than ever. For the first time in his life, he was not under constant surveillance, receiving judgment for any instance in which his parents believed him to step out of line in his religious lifestyle.

Back home, a single absence from bi-weekly mass would be met with passive aggressive disapproval. Any instance in which Seokmin expressed interest in anything outside of the church (such as non catholic music and dance – both of which his parents had immediately shut down), he felt as if he was breaking a law at the way in which his parents would scold him for ever even considering such 'perverted' hobbies.

Upon moving away, Seokmin had begun to realize that his upbringing hadn't been as perfect as he had thought it to be, that his parents didn't love him as unconditionally as he first thought. He thought back to his brother's estrangement from his family and felt regret at not standing up for him, knowing that his parents would turn on him just as fast as they did Jeonghan.

With a sigh, he picked up the call, mustering as much interest as he could. He made some excuse as to why he had been unable to keep in contact and promised to be better moving forward. He faked a smile in his voice and forced his way through a peaceful call (sans the few passive aggressive comments his parents threw his way) and called it a night.

For the first time in his life, he put religion and his parents aside to give himself a restful sleep, only looking forward to seeing you the next morning and going to sleep with the remembrance of what the two of you did fresh in his mind.

"Oh ... I- please ..."

"Just like that, Minnie, fuck ... Don't move, angel. Just let me do all the work, yeah?", you ground against him even faster, angling your hips so that his member would grace against your clothed folds.

It seemed like the dam had broken for you at the same time as it had for Seokmin, because you had jumped him the very next time he made his way through the threshold of your apartment.

The two of you kissed until exhausting yourselves, leading Seokmin to beg you to undress both you and him (with pleading eyes rather than verbally, as he was still too shy to beg for such things with words).

It was only one day after you had given Seokmin oral (a concept which you had introduced him to), which somehow made Seokmin even more desperate to have you. Even after his parents' call ruining his mood, you had managed to bring it back up immediately after when you messaged him late at night suggesting the two of you meet up today. After spending the entire day together, Seokmin walked you home yet again, only to be jumped by you (once again) upon entering your apartment.

One thing led to another and Seokmin found himself fully unclothed under you as you ground against him through the thin layer of your panties. Seokmin was completely weightless under you, becoming a shell of his old self as he desperately guided your hips to grind against him. He wasn't sure where this would lead, but he felt the usual conflict that always arose when the two of you were alone like this. Even through all your reassurance, Seokmin felt as if he was betraying an oath by engaging with his sexual desires for you. However, these thoughts were immediately pushed aside when you leaned back down to kiss him again.

The kiss was nasty, for lack of a better word. Seokmin didn't fully realize it, but his desperation for your touch would sometimes render him into a sloppy kisser, but you seemed to not mind it as you moaned and licked into his mouth any time his kisses got a bit messy. Your grinding got more and more intense by the second, throwing your head back at the way Seokmin senselessly canted his hips against your own.

"M-minnie ... Want more ... Is that okay? Just need to feel you so bad ... Please ..."

"M-more?"

"Do you want it too, Minnie? Wanna know what it feels like?"

"Show me? Wh- Oh ..."

"You want it too, don't you? Hmm? You're so hard against me, angel. Don't you wanna feel me?"

"I just ..."

Before he could formulate a response through the lust that was clouding his mind, you suddenly brought one of his hands between your bodies, going behind the forbidden threshold of your underwear. Anxious but also incredibly turned on, Seokmin fell limp and allowed you to do whatever you wanted. You grabbed his middle and pointer fingers, angling them so that they could seamlessly slip between your folds. Though Seokmin had already felt the wetness between your legs the day prior, he had not properly felt just how warm and tight you could be.

"Oh, it's so ... Fuck," he moaned when you began guiding his hand so his fingers could go in and out.

"Shit, Minnie ... So good ... Wanna feel it now, angel? Will you give it to me?", you slipped his fingers out after proving your point, now going back to caressing his cheek with your own hand.

"B-but ... It's a sin ..." he let out before even realizing. Even with your constant reassurance up to this point, Seokmin still felt ties to his faith that made him second-guess himself.

He knew that he had already gone past certain point with you, and that having sex with you wouldn't make much difference in his morality, but he still thought of all the teachings of celibacy and all the censorship his community had forced onto him. Was this the right choice? His body was screaming at him to let himself go and seek his high from you. His mind was telling him similar things, though there was also emphasis on the fact that doing this with you, of all people, would be the best choice he could ever make.

"Angel ... It's okay to want it. You don't have to be scared ... I'll take care of you. Just wanna be close to you, Minnie. Don't you want that too? Hmm? Just like you so much, angel," you kisses softly at his chest as you said this, breaking his resolve.

And you were right. He wanted this so badly. He wanted to be as close to you as possible, to give himself to you in the most intimate way he could.

"Y-yes. Want you so much ..." he was shy as he said it, but he meant it to the fullest extent.

You proceeded to sensually remove your underwear, sitting back down above Seokmin's dick as you made a show of grinding your nude pelvises against one another, making Seokmin cry out in desperation.

Any doubts he had left him as soon as you allowed his tip to slip in, throwing his head back as he finally felt your warmth envelop him. You let out a variety of expletives at the feelings, all while clawing at Seokmin's chest, something that had his back arching in unexpected pleasure.

"Oh, Minnie ... So full, f-fuck ..." you moaned out, taking on a slow yet deep pace that made Seokmin shut his eyes and scrunch his nose.

Seokmin couldn't describe the pleasure you were giving him. He was practically frozen in place, the only part of his body still conscious were his hands, which were likely bruising your hips from how hard he was digging his fingers onto them. He needed to keep himself grounded, but he truly felt like today was judgment day, and he had gone to heaven.

"Open your eyes, angel. Wanna see you," your hand reached over to his cheek, angling his head so he could look your way rather than keep his head in its thrown back state.

He opened his eyes to find you smiling down at him with the light hanging on your ceiling providing the best view of you possible. You looked like an angel gazing down at him, like you came down to give him the greatest ruin and drag him back up with you. You had corrupted him in the best way possible.

"Oh, Minnie ... So beautiful. My prettiest boy ... Does it feel good, angel?", he nodded and let out a whine at your soft inquiries, "Yeah? How's it feel when I do this?", you squeezed around him, now bouncing rather than grinding against him, making him close his eyes back up and cry out your name.

"I- Please! I need ...", his nails clawed at your hips and back, begging for something unknown to him. He needed more, but he wasn't sure of what.

"I know, pretty. Gonna give it to you, just- fuck ... Just need you to be good for me, yeah?," you hiccuped, leaning down to kiss him again.

He cried against your lips, eyes rolling back when your tongue began dancing with his own, your hands reaching down to toy with his nipples. You were giving him too many things at once, making the overstimulation take over his already hazy brain. He didn't care about any moral repercussions to what you were doing together. Every time you touched him further solidified how right being with you felt.

Only a few moments of your ministrations were enough for Seokmin to feel that familiar coil begin to tighten. He knew his end was near, causing him to grow restless as he planted his legs on the bed and humped against you. Despite his lack of proper technique and the sloppiness of his movements, you matched his own and wailed his name.

Your hands came down to bring his up and pin them above his head, grinding deeper and deeper against him as the two of you crazily chased your highs. The bed shook against the wall at the intensity of your actions, with nothing but nasty sounds of your muffled moans and your arousal filling up the silence. Eventually you disconnected your lips, eyeing the string of spit that connected you before burying your head in the crook of his neck.

"I- I like you so much," he groaned out, high-pitched and breathless.

"Like you so fucking m-much! You have no idea ..." you reciprocated his words as you clamped down around him and let yourself be taken by your high. Your high was more than enough to trigger his own, leaving him in a practically astral state for a few moments as his hands ran frantically up and down your body, squeezing and scratching every so often.

When your highs finally wore down, you laid yourself beside him, cuddling him near you so you could wrap your legs around him and bring him as close as possible. You faced each other as you caught your breaths, running your hands along the length of his back as his own rubbed at your hips. The moment was pure bliss.

"Do you regret it?"

"No. I could never regret anything we've done. I- I'm sorry if I made you feel that way," he looked away from your eyes.

You nudged him to look at you once more, "Don't apologize, Minnie. I understand. I'm happy I was your first. Maybe one day I'll teach you even more fun things," you flirted through a giggle.

"Oh, I- Hah, yeah", he was caught off guard by your flirting, but still laughed along.

Yeah, he wouldn't mind that.

Over the following weeks, Seokmin did a better job of keeping up with his parents. He kept a safe distance while still giving them the belief that he was still fully engaged in the religious spaces they had envisioned for him. However, he could not help but lie when it came to what occupied his day to day life – you. He didn't bring you up, which you agreed upon after a tearful conversation in which Seokmin detailed his upbringing, leading you to spend the night up with him as you comforted him. He was also yet to attend mass again, and he even occasionally skipped the bi-weekly meetings of his church group – though only when you skipped also. These were a few of the things he kept secret from his family – advice from his brother Jeonghan, who he had recently gotten in contact with again.

Seokmin's faith was still standing; his relationship with God was slightly injured by his internal conflict about your sexual relationship, though he was now sure that he felt no regrets at anything the two of you had engaged in. To him, being with you felt like the biggest reward he could have ever hoped for. Seokmin realized quickly that his issue really laid with the catholic community in which he had been brought up, rather than his relationship with God itself. He disagreed with the judgmental and overbearing way in which certain catholics circles ran, something which he distanced himself from upon meeting you.

You had even introduced him to a few of your friends, some which were even catholic like him. Your buddy Joshua was one of the chillest guys he had ever met, yet his faith was pretty intact. This made Seokmin feel less guilt, though his balance between what was right and wrong in the eyes of God was still a bit of a mess. Luckily he had you help him navigate his way through that.

Along with all these developments, Seokmin had also begun speaking to his brother Jeonghan again (behind his parents' backs, of course). It made him happy to know that despite his brother straying away from his community, he had ended up happy with his life, leading a steady relationship and being happy away from his parents' constant religious persecution.

And you ... You had become official in these past few weeks, making Seokmin constantly have to pinch himself to confirm whether or not he was imagining all this. He was still a very shy and awkward individual, usually opting to hang out alone with you in either of your apartments. He appreciated how patient you were with him, never judging him for being a bit different and even teaching him the pleasures he had been missing out on during his very restricted upbringing. You had become a piece of heaven on earth to Seokmin, corrupting him, but only in the best of ways.

a/n: i left so many things unresolved here oops but all i cared about was seokmin's character development and we got there in the end so! anyways hope u guys enjoyed!!

To read short 2k word continuation u can go join my monthly tier on kofi or patreon!

content:

wc: 587 (teaser); 2080 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

Seokmin was, yet again, at a crossroads. Though this time it wasn't anything too serious, or maybe it was.

By current time, it had now been four months since the two of you had begun dating. 'I love you's' were shared and multiple sleep overs were had. Your relationship had been everything anyone could hope for a first relationship, and Seokmin now felt way more at ease whenever the two of you did anything sexual.

Admittedly, Seokmin was still slightly awkward about it, still never allowing himself to start sexual interactions and simply following your lead. Which was the crux of his current predicament.

He was unsure if he had done something wrong, if he had maybe insulted you or maybe there was some other unknown reason behind, but it had been over a week since the two of you had slept together. Over the past four months, the two of you spent most of your nights together, taking on a very domestic routine within the first two months of your relationship. Though you obviously didn't get down to sexual activities every day, it was common for it to happen a few times a week (at the least).

It usually began with you cornering Seokmin against the wall after a tiring day of college, or sometimes it began during a movie night in which you couldn't keep your hands to yourself. Whatever it was, you were always giving Seokmin an opening to entertain his sexual desires with you whenever he pleased. Even though he was always too shy to ask, it was almost as if you were able to read his mind and always incite him when he needed it most.

His sexual desires for you had grown quite a lot, making Seokmin worry at times. Was it normal how badly he wanted you at all times? Was this a consequence of having never before received pleasure until meeting you? He felt like a degenerate sometimes, from how badly he wanted you. Which was the main reason as to why he grew antsy so quickly after not having sex with you for the past week or so.

In contrast to these past months, this past week and a half (nine days to be exact; not that Seokmin was keeping count or anything), you had not given Seokmin anything further than a sweet peck on the lips whenever the two of you fell asleep next to each other. You didn't act any differently past that, still showering him with love and spending as much time as you could with him.

It wasn't that Seokmin expected sex from you or anything, but ever since you had taught him how pleasurable it could be to have a romantic partner, he could not see himself ever going back to his old, puritan lifestyle. Seokmin had become, for lack of a better word, an addict. He couldn't help himself in desiring you every time he caught an inch of your bare legs or the soft skin of your breasts through your cleavage. He had deprived himself of sex for far too long and now he could no longer live without it.

He didn't want to seem desperate, or as if he only valued you for sex, but he needed to get to the bottom of this and find a way to get you to touch him again. He was far too shy to ever ask you directly, but he would work his hardest to entice you into letting him have you again

...

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#seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #svt fanfic #svt x reader #seventeen #svt #seventeen imagine #seventeen oneshot #seventeen smut #svt smut #seokmin x reader #seokmin smut #seokmin scenarios #seokmin imagines #dokyeom smut #dokyeom scenarios #dokyeom imagines #dokyeom x reader #dokyeom fanfic

[anarchywoofwoof]

the supreme court of Mexico has made a historic decision by ruling that federal criminal penalties for abortion are unconstitutional. in addition to being a victory for women's rights in Mexico, this ruling also reflects the growing trend in latin america to recognize and uphold reproductive rights.

the court's ruling requires that abortion must be taken out of the federal penal code. as a result, any pregnant woman or individual can now get an abortion without worrying about facing legal ramifications. all government healthcare organizations, including the public health service, are now required to offer abortion services to anyone who requests them.

the journey is still far from over, though. even if the federal law has changed, roughly 20 states in Mexico still forbid abortion. there will be more court cases in these states.

social media lit up with joyous posts. the choice was praised as a "big step" in the direction of gender equality by Mexico's national agency for women. however, there were dissenting opinions, and like the united states, many of them came down to fundamentalist, reductive religious beliefs. some people vowed to continue fighting against increased access to abortion because of these beliefs and they will no doubt be joined by many others in these efforts.

regardless, this choice is the result of years of campaigning and activism. a northern state's abortion laws (Coahuila) were upheld by the court two years ago. this launched a campaign towards decriminalization on a state-by-state basis. Aguascalientes just became the 12th state to decriminalize abortion last week.

what does this mean, though, for a typical Mexican woman? while the decision does not ensure that every woman will have rapid access to abortion care, it does require federal agencies to provide it, according to Fernanda daz de León, a legal expert for a women's rights organization. this could have a cascading effect that makes it more difficult for medical professionals to refuse abortions in jurisdictions where they are no longer against the law.

however, problems still exist. women still encounter opposition and legal obstacles, even in states where abortion is allowed. although the battle for reproductive freedom continues, this decision marks a critical turning point.

the "green wave" of abortion rights is spreading over latin america. countries like Argentina and Colombia have legalized abortion as a result of this movement, which is signified by green bandanas. this stands in stark contrast to the expanding abortion restrictions in some areas of the united states, where conservative state legislatures have launched an assault against a woman's right to choose. six months post-roe, 24 us states have banned abortion or are likely to do so

in spite of this, a reminder of the larger struggle for women's rights and physical autonomy is provided by the situation in Mexico. recognizing the inherent rights of half~ the world's population is more important than focusing on just one nation or one set of laws.

keep in mind that change is difficult as we fight for these rights. it calls for perseverance, fortitude, and community. Mexico's decision offers a ray of light, but there is still a long way to go until every woman has the freedom to make her own decisions.

more than anything, the abortion verdict in Mexico serves as a reminder of the practical effects of activism and campaigning. in order to achieve a society that promotes and respects the rights of all people, we must keep fighting against oppressive and restrictive regimes that would deny any individual the autonomous right to determine what occurs with their own body.

#text #abortion #reproductive rights #mexico #latin america #politics #bork bork thoughts

[genderkoolaid]

Trans men face deep isolation in Pakistan. The country, with a conservative Muslim majority, has entrenched beliefs on gender and sexuality, so trans people are often considered outcasts. But trans women have a degree of toleration because of cultural traditions. Trans women in public office, on news programs, in TV shows and films, even on the catwalk, have raised awareness about a marginalized and misunderstood community. The Pakistani movie and Oscar contender “Joyland” caused an uproar last year for its depiction of a relationship between a married man and a trans woman, but it also shone a spotlight on the country’s transgender community. Trans men, however, remain largely invisible, with little mobilization, support or resources. Trans women have growing activist networks — but, according to Aman and others, they rarely incorporate or deal with trans men and their difficulties. “It’s the worst,” said Aman. “We are already disowned by our families and blood relatives, then the people we think are our people also exclude us.” Trans women have been able to carve out their space in the culture because of the historic tradition of “khawaja sira,” originally a term for male eunuchs working in South Asia’s Mughal empire hundreds of years ago. Today, the term is generally associated with people who were born male and identify as female. Khawaja sira culture also has a traditional support system of “gurus,” prominent figures who lead others. But there is no space within the term or the culture surrounding it for people who were born female and identify as male. “Every khawaja sira is transgender, but not all transgenders are khawaja sira,” said Mani, a representative for the trans male community in Pakistan. “People have been aware of the khawaja sira community for a long time, but not of trans men.” He set up a nonprofit group in 2018 because he saw nothing being done for trans men, their well-being or mental health. Trans people have seen some progress in protecting their rights. Supreme Court rulings allow them to self-identify as a third gender, neither male nor female, and have underscored they have the same rights as all Pakistani citizens. Although Mani was involved in the trans rights bill, most lobbying and advocacy work has been from transgender women since it became law. “Nobody talks about trans men or how they are impacted by the act,” said Mani. "But this is not the right time to talk about this because of the campaign by religious extremists (to veto changes to the act). I don’t want to cause any harm to the community.” Another reason for trans men’s low visibility is that females lead a more restricted life than males in Pakistan, with limits on what they can do, where they can go and how they can live. Family honor is tied to the behavior of women and girls, so they have less room to behave outside society’s norms. On a practical level, even if a girl wanted to meet trans people and get involved in the community, she wouldn’t be able to because she wouldn’t be allowed out, said Aman.

#m. #transandrophobia #transmisandry #anti transmasculinity

[antiterf]

I finally looked through the transphobe emails that were leaked by Maia. I wanted to add it to TERF Records because the Women's Liberation Front was included in the list.

I want to highlight this (Bold added by me):

I've seen Cathy Brennan criticizing WOLF for working with conservatives and religious elements, but that's the only way I see forward. It's also the only way I see to win this. And it's my strategy. I know there's all sorts of talk about "losing gay marriage," but the way this is going there isn't going to be a lesbian community if the trans problem isn't stopped. As people fight over something that "might happen," more and more women just like the person close to you are getting sucked in and harmed. I feel like people need to start recognizing this immediate harm over the "possible harm." My strategy is I am going to continue to build activism bridges and inroads with the right. I've come to believe they realize the trans problem is far more sinister than anything gay people are doing. They've definitely had my back and they've been using me to do as much damage as they can. You've no doubt seen that in the news. We shouldn't treat them like they're incapable of change.

So yeah, literally making active strategies with right-wingers in the name of women's and gay rights as they're under attack by right-wingers.

#terf #anti terf #radfem #radical feminist #radical feminism #notaterftip #not sarcasm

[nero-neptune]

idk how much stock i put into those "gen z is more conservative than past generations" think-pieces from a few years back. but it's very possible for a person: to believe that climate change is a problem, to support (or be part of) the LGBT community, to believe in universal healthcare and social services, to support religious tolerance, to fight for expanded housing and labor rights, etc etc etc, and still, like, unabashedly hate women on a level you wouldn't believe existed

#like you really can't underestimate how far someone's hate can go for a specific group of people #while also believing in otherwise 'progressive' values idk #maybe i'm being a pessimist about these things #this is related to the last post i reblogged but now it's just on my mind #i understand that polls show (at least in the us) that gen z votes more blue than past generations and that's commendable #but you can walk and chew gum yknow. you can believe in progressive stuff while also being a massive sexist #and idk if these 'woowoo ~~trendy~~ sexism stereotypes but 'alternative and rebellious' bc i'm owning it' shit is uh. helping. #especially when you're too young to discern what is and is not 'ironic' or a 'joke' and you take it at face value #certain stuff is formative bc you're exposed to it young. and then BAM. it shapes how you see the world for a Very long time #sexism #rambles

[why-am-i-not-fictional]

Things to script - nature or status of realities

This is something I recently started inputting into my DRs to make them better and safe. I got much help from ChatGPT too to categorize all these things. I wanted to share it with you guys too :) feel free to use anything for your scripts. Happy Shifting!!!

All of the below discriminations does not exist in any of my DRs

Misogyny

Racism

Homophobia

Transphobia

Classism

Ableism

Ageism

Xenophobia

Islamophobia

Anti-Semitism

Colorism

Nationalism

Casteism

Environmental injustice

Sexism

Sizeism

Religious discrimination

Ethnic discrimination

Discrimination based on immigration status

Discrimination based on language

Discrimination based on nationality

Discrimination based on indigenous status

Discrimination based on political beliefs

Discrimination based on marital status

Discrimination based on parental status

Discrimination based on veteran status

Discrimination based on HIV/AIDS status

Discrimination based on neurodiversity

Discrimination based on mental health status

Discrimination based on physical appearance

Discrimination based on cultural practices

Discrimination based on regional or geographical origin

Discrimination based on caste or social status

Discrimination based on educational background

Discrimination based on housing status

Discrimination based on criminal record

Discrimination based on economic status

Discrimination based on access to healthcare

Discrimination based on access to education

Discrimination based on access to employment opportunities

All of the below issues have been solved many years ago and they do not exist in the times of any of my DRs

Poverty

Economic inequality

Environmental degradation

Climate change

Pollution

Deforestation

Political instability

Armed conflicts

Civil wars

Humanitarian crises

Global health challenges

Infectious diseases

Pandemics

Inadequate healthcare systems

Lack of access to essential medicines

Educational disparities

Limited access to quality education

Illiteracy

Child labor

Child marriage

Gender inequality

Women's rights violations

Child labor

Human trafficking

Forced labor

Modern slavery

Corruption

Lack of transparency

Ineffective governance

Authoritarian regimes

Suppression of free speech

Violations of human rights

Arbitrary detention

Torture

Persecution

Indigenous rights violations

Land grabs

Cultural appropriation

Technological and digital divides

Ethical dilemmas in technology

Privacy concerns

Data breaches

Cybersecurity threats

Food insecurity

Malnutrition

Water scarcity

Access to clean water

Sanitation issues

Homelessness

Housing affordability

Urbanization challenges

Aging population

Elder abuse

Mental health stigma

Lack of access to mental health services

Substance abuse

Addiction

Disability rights violations

Accessibility barriers

Stigmatization of disabilities

LGBTQ+ rights violations

Discrimination based on sexual orientation

Discrimination based on gender identity

Family rejection

Reproductive rights violations

Access to reproductive healthcare

Maternal mortality

Child mortality

Access to clean energy

Energy poverty

Fossil fuel dependence

Renewable energy transition challenges

Wildlife conservation

Endangered species protection

Animal rights violations

All the DRs I shift to are abundant of the following things 

Compassion

Empathy

Cooperation

Collaboration

Sustainability

Environmental stewardship

Peacebuilding

Conflict resolution

Dialogue

Reconciliation

Education

Knowledge-sharing

Critical thinking

Cultural diversity

Cultural respect

Inclusivity

Equality

Justice

Ethical leadership

Integrity

Accountability

Service to others

Health promotion

Well-being

Healthcare access

Mental health support

Social support systems

Innovation

Creativity

Social justice

Fairness

Equity

Human rights

Freedom of expression

Freedom of assembly

Democratic governance

Rule of law

Transparency

Accountability mechanisms

Community empowerment

Grassroots activism

Civic engagement

Volunteerism

Philanthropy

Sustainable development

Responsible consumption

Renewable energy adoption

Conservation

Biodiversity protection

Animal welfare

Gender equality

Women's empowerment

LGBTQ+ rights

Disability rights

Indigenous rights

Racial equity

Anti-discrimination policies

Social welfare programs

Poverty alleviation

Economic empowerment

Access to education

Access to clean water

Sanitation infrastructure

Housing rights

Food security

Global cooperation

International aid and development

Humanitarian assistance

Conflict prevention

Diplomacy

Multilateralism

Solidarity

Tolerance

Forgiveness

Resilience

All of the DRs I shift into are currently successfully overcoming the following challenges as they rise

Sustaining Progress: Maintaining the momentum of positive change and preventing regression into previous discriminatory attitudes and practices.

Ensuring Equity: Addressing lingering disparities and ensuring that the benefits of progress are equitably distributed across all communities.

Adapting to Changing Circumstances: Remaining flexible and responsive to evolving societal needs, dynamics, and challenges over time.

Balancing Interests: Navigating competing interests, values, and priorities among diverse stakeholders in society.

Preventing Backlash: Mitigating potential backlash from individuals or groups who may resist or oppose efforts to eliminate discrimination and promote positive change.

Addressing Unforeseen Consequences: Anticipating and addressing unintended consequences or side effects of interventions aimed at addressing societal issues.

Managing Complexity: Dealing with the complexity of interconnected social, economic, political, and environmental systems, which may require interdisciplinary approaches and collaboration.

Maintaining Engagement: Sustaining public engagement, participation, and support for ongoing efforts to promote equality, justice, and well-being.

Ensuring Accountability: Holding individuals, institutions, and governments accountable for upholding principles of fairness, transparency, and ethical conduct.

Resisting Entrenched Power Structures: Challenging and dismantling entrenched power structures, systems of privilege, and institutionalized forms of discrimination.

Addressing Global Challenges: Collaborating internationally to address global challenges such as climate change, inequality, and conflict, which require coordinated action across borders.

Cultural Sensitivity: Respecting and accommodating diverse cultural norms, values, and perspectives while promoting universal principles of human rights and equality.

Managing Resources: Efficiently allocating resources and managing competing demands to sustain progress and address ongoing needs in society.

Promoting Inclusivity: Ensuring that marginalized or vulnerable groups are included in decision-making processes and benefit from positive changes in society.

Building Trust: Fostering trust, cooperation, and solidarity among individuals, communities, and institutions to sustain positive social transformation.

Addressing New Challenges: Remaining vigilant and adaptive to emerging challenges and threats to equality, justice, and well-being in an ever-changing world.

#reality shifting #desired reality #reality shift #shifting community #shifting motivation #shiftblr #shifting consciousness #shifters #shifting script #scripting

[coochiequeens]

Ladies, vote for yourself and those denied the right

Dhurnal (Pakistan) (AFP) – Perched on her traditional charpai bed, Naeem Kausir says she would like to vote in Pakistan's upcoming election -- if only the men in her family would let her.

Issued on: 05/02/2024 - 08:41

In  the village of Dhurnal in Punjab, spread across crop fields and home to several thousand people, men profess myriad reasons why women should not be allowed to vote © Farooq NAEEM / AFP

Like all the women in her town, the 60-year-old former headmistress and her seven daughters -- six already university educated -- are forbidden from voting by their male elders.

"Whether by her husband, father, son or brother, a woman is forced. She lacks the autonomy to make decisions independently," said Kausir, covered in a veil in the courtyard of her home.

"These men lack the courage to grant women their rights," the widow told AFP.

Although voting is a constitutional right for all adults in Pakistan, some rural areas in the socially conservative country are still ruled by a patriarchal system of male village elders who wield significant influence in their communities.

In the village of Dhurnal in Punjab, spread across crop fields and home to several thousand people, men profess myriad reasons for the ban of more than 50 years.

"Several years ago, during a period of low literacy rates, a council chairman decreed that if men went out to vote, and women followed suit, who would manage the household and childcare responsibilities?" said Malik Muhammad, a member of the village council.

"This disruption, just for one vote, was deemed unnecessary," he concluded.

Robina Kausir, a healthcare worker, talks to AFP in Dhurnal of Punjab province, ahead of the upcoming general election © Farooq NAEEM / AFP

Muhammad Aslam, a shopkeeper, claims it is to protect women from "local hostilities" about politics, including a distant occasion that few seem to remember in the village when an argument broke out at a polling station.

Others told AFP it was simply down to "tradition".

First Muslim woman leader

The Election Commission of Pakistan (ECP) has stressed that it has the authority to declare the process null and void in any constituency where women are barred from participating.

In reality, progress has been slow outside of cities and in areas that operate under tribal norms, with millions of women still missing from the electoral rolls.

Muhammad Aslam, a shopkeeper, claims a ban on women voting is to protect them from "local hostilities" about politics © Farooq NAEEM / AFP

The elders in Dhurnal rely on neighbouring villages to fill a government-imposed quota which maintains that 10 percent of votes cast in every constituency must be by women.

Those who are allowed to vote are often pressured to pick a candidate of a male relative's choice.

In the mountainous region of Kohistan in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province home to almost 800,000 people, religious clerics last month decreed it un-Islamic for women to take part in electoral campaigns.

Although voting is a constitutional right for all adults in Pakistan, some rural areas in the socially conservative country are still ruled by a patriarchal system of male village elders who wield significant influence in their communities © Farooq NAEEM / AFP

Fatima Tu Zara Butt, a legal expert and a women's rights activist, said women are allowed to vote in Islam, but that religion is often exploited or misunderstood in Pakistan.

"Regardless of their level of education or financial stability, women in Pakistan can only make decisions with the 'support' of the men around them," she said.

Pakistan famously elected the world's first Muslim woman leader in 1988 -- Benazir Bhutto, who introduced policies that boosted education and access to money for women, and fought against religious extremism after military dictator Zia ul-Haq had introduced a new era of Islamisation that rolled back women's rights.

However, more than 30 years later, only 355 women are competing for national assembly seats in Thursday's election, compared to 6,094 men, the election commission has said.

Pakistan reserves 60 of the 342 National Assembly seats for women and 10 for religious minorities in the Muslim-majority country, but political parties rarely allow women to contest outside of this quota.

Those who do stand often do so only with the backing of male relatives who are already established in local politics.

"I have never seen any independent candidates contesting elections on their own," Zara Butt added.

'Everyone's right'

Forty-year-old Robina Kausir, a healthcare worker, said a growing number of women in Dhurnal want to exercise their right to vote but they fear backlash from the community if they do -- particularly the looming threat of divorce, a matter of great shame in Pakistani culture.

She credits part of the shift to access to information as a result of the rising use of smartphones and social media.

"These men instil fear in their women – many threaten their wives," she told AFP.

Robina, backed by her husband, is one of the few prepared to take the risk.

When cricketing legend Imran Khan swept to power in the 2018 election, Robina arranged for a minibus to take women to the local polling station.

Only a handful joined her, but she still marked it as a success and will do the same on Thursday's election.

"I was abused but I do not care, I will keep fighting for everyone's right to vote," Robina said.

#pakistan #Every vote counts #Men making up bs to prevent women from voting #Election Commission of Pakistan (ECP) #Men protecting women........from exercising their right to vote #Benazir Bhutto #only 355 women are competing for national assembly seats in Thursday's election compared to 6094 men

[justinssportscorner]

Shruti Rajkumar at HuffPost:

After over a week of silence, Kansas City Chiefs’ kicker Harrison Butker publicly defended the controversial commencement speech he gave earlier this month at Benedictine College.

During the “Courage Under Fire Gala” hosted by the Regina Caeli Academy on Friday, the Catholic football player doubled down on remarks he made in his speech at the Kansas college that were criticized by the public as homophobic and sexist. “If it wasn’t clear that the timeless Catholic values are hated by many, it is now,” Butker said Friday evening at the address in Nashville, Tennessee. “As to be expected, the more I’ve talked about what I value most — which is my Catholic faith — the more polarizing I’ve become. It’s a decision I’ve consciously made and one I do not regret at all,” he continued later. On May 11, the Catholic football player’s commencement speech dove into a ring-wing, bigoted rant, during which he slammed abortion rights and dogmatized “dangerous gender ideologies” and the “tyranny of diversity, equity and inclusion.” Butker also called LGBTQ+ Pride Month “a deadly sin” and suggested that female graduates “embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker.”

“I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you,” he said in his commencement address. “Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.” [...] On Friday, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce weighed in on his teammate’s remarks during an episode of his podcast “New Heights,” saying that he believes Butker is “a great person and a great teammate” who he has seen treat others with “nothing but respect and kindness,” but that he disagrees with his views. “I can’t say I agree with the majority of it, or just about any of it, outside of just him loving his family and his kids,” Kelce said about Butker’s speech, but added that he doesn’t think he should judge Butker’s views, especially his religious beliefs. Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes backed Butker, saying that he didn’t agree with all of his teammate’s conservative views but that he is a “good person.”

Chiefs K Harrison Butker continues to double down on his hateful and bigoted commencement speech remarks he made at Benedictine College that impugned women and the LGBTQ+ community.

#Harrison Butker #Abortion #Sexism #Women #LGBTQ+ #NFL #Kansas City Chiefs #Regina Caeli Academy #Travis Kelce #Patrick Mahomes

[mariacallous]

Hatred is stalking the women of Afghanistan, pushing them further into darkness as world leaders appear to be ignoring the terrible truth that the Taliban’s efforts to disappear half the population are central to their hold on power. Taliban leaders say their misogynistic policies are steeped in religion, tradition, and respect for women. They tell Western officials that the prison-like restrictions will soon be eased, only then to tighten them further. For women who are isolated, brutalized, and desperate, Afghanistan has become that place where nobody can hear them scream.

The U.N.’s special rapporteur on Afghanistan, Richard Bennett, issued another devastating report on Friday and again called on the Taliban to honor obligations to protect human rights, and for U.N. member states to ensure the “situation of human rights of women and girls in Afghanistan is central to all policy decisions and engagement” with the Taliban. Human rights organizations have reported extensively on Taliban atrocities, describing the anti-woman practices as “crimes against humanity,” “gender apartheid,” “a war on women,” and “femicide.”

Afghan women don’t use the jargon. They tell of gang rapes and being beaten on their breasts and genitals so they cannot display their injuries. They tell how their rapists urinated in their faces, and of much, much worse. They tell of relatives kidnapped into sex slavery to serve as Taliban “wives,” or murdered by the “vice and virtue police” for resisting, their bodies found by roadsides or hanging in trees. In interviews with Foreign Policy, women said that revealing their identities would be a death sentence.

Inequality and misogyny are hardly exclusive to Afghanistan, or to many fundamentalist religions more broadly, but the Taliban are plumbing depths few outside the country can comprehend. The question is why misogyny is so central to the Taliban worldview. The Taliban were already notoriously brutal toward women during their first rule, between 1996 and 2001. In their second incarnation, they’ve only gotten worse.

They seem to have deftly manipulated religious conservatism, which was consistent across most of Afghanistan’s ethnic and religious groups, into an elemental expression of what it means to be a “good” Muslim. The privations of war, beginning with the Soviet invasion in 1979, arguably led to the emasculation of Afghanistan’s men, who juxtaposed their masculinity against a weaker position for women. With the arrival in 2001 of the United States and billions of dollars in programs to educate and emancipate women, the notion of feminism could then be easily portrayed as another attack on the natural order of the country’s culture and religion, in which men were dominant.

Rights activists and academics said the Taliban have used their rhetorical and physical violence against women to secure support from conservative and religious communities. Those are mostly, though not exclusively, Sunni Pashtuns who predominate in southern Afghanistan and live according to a mythologized life code that extends warm hospitality, even to al Qaeda and other terrorists, and sequesters women from nearly all spheres of public life. The Taliban refined and intensified that ideology as they fought the so-called infidel U.S.-led forces and members of what they saw as a puppet government during their ultimately successful 20-year insurgency to win back control of the country.

“From 2001 to 2021, I think they evolved in a way that made their abusive views on women and girls even more central to their cause. So it makes sense that they won’t budge on those issues, after that ideology arguably led them to victory,” said Heather Barr, the associate women’s rights director at Human Rights Watch.

Part of the reason that misogyny became so central to the new Taliban was because of the way the group propagated itself, by brainwashing millions of boys in religious schools, or madrassas, in the mountainous border regions between Afghanistan and Pakistan. They were the Taliban’s future, then their cannon fodder, and now are their enforcers. The male-only madrassas that taught Taliban fighters Quran recitation and bomb-making—and where many were victims of sexual violence—also deprived them of family.

“They were always isolated from the other half of the population,” former Deputy Education Minister Marjan Mateen said. “If you have respectful relationships with the women in your family, you will have respect for women. The madrassa system deprived them of this.”

Keeping women uneducated was also a central plank of the Taliban’s construction of their new state, she said. The repression of women is “deeply rooted in traditional notions of patriarchy, but which they try to justify with recourse to Islam and culture,” she said, and an educated woman threatens that power base. “It is strategic to deprive women of education and agency, as this keeps the entire household ignorant,” she said.

Now back in charge, the Taliban cannot build an economy or create jobs. All they can offer to millions of young, uneducated, and unemployed men are women. “Being the king of their home and having total control of ‘their women’ may be all the power and recognition they get,” Barr said.

Afghan Witness, a British nongovernmental organization, has collected data on more than 140 reports of women being “individually killed, often in circumstances of extreme violence and brutality,” team leader David Osborn said. That is probably an undercount given the limits of open-source data, he noted. With laws of the previous government canceled in favor of an unspecified interpretation of Sharia law, “justice for the victims and families left behind has rarely resulted,” he said. “From our analysis, the picture is clear: There is a culture of impunity for femicide in the Taliban’s Afghanistan.”

Afghanistan was no paradise for women even before the Taliban’s return to power in August 2021, regularly rated the worst place in the world to be born as a woman. Their lack of rights under the Taliban’s first regime was used as one of the justifications for the 2001 U.S.-led invasion after the Sept. 11 terror attacks: In a radio address supporting the military retaliation against the Taliban for colluding with al Qaeda, then-first lady Laura Bush called out the Taliban’s “brutality against women and children.” With the removal of the Taliban “terrorists,” she said, “women are no longer imprisoned in their homes. They can listen to music and teach their daughters without fear of punishment.”

Soon after, a new constitution guaranteed women’s rights, and there was incremental, if slow, progress. The patriarchal culture that privileges men over women by social norms started to break down as the benefits of laws to protect women’s rights started to be felt beyond the cities. Women began to see education and development as pathways to peace. It was a multigenerational project, but with millions of girls going to school—up from nearly zero under the Taliban—and many getting degrees, working, running businesses, and traveling abroad, things were demonstrably better.

Former U.S. President Donald Trump’s exit deal with the Taliban in 2020 threw it all into reverse, and President Joe Biden’s decision to stick with the U.S. withdrawal has taken Afghanistan back to the dark ages of the Taliban 1.0. Women are again banned from school, university, most work, travel, going to parks and gyms, playing sports, and in most cases, leaving their homes alone. The Taliban have banned charities, including U.N. agencies, from employing women to deliver aid to women. This cuts them off from essentials such as food, medicine, and clothing, making them vulnerable to sexual exploitation and violence. Some non-U.N. organizations have found ways around the ban, though many believe the Taliban are moving toward strict enforcement.

At the highest levels of powerful world bodies, the reality of the Taliban is slow to sink in. Martin Griffiths, the U.N.’s undersecretary-general for humanitarian affairs, spoke for many when he met with Taliban leaders after they issued the charity ban in December and barred women from university. He emerged from meetings to say he had received “encouraging responses” from Taliban leaders that new “guidelines” on how women live and work would soon be issued, only to be humiliated within hours when the Taliban instead issued further restrictions. This month, senior Taliban figure Suhail Shaheen, in a clear reference to women’s rights, said the world is “slowly accepting the realities” that the “conditions of the international community are not acceptable” to the terrorist-led group.

The Taliban do not have formal recognition from any country, yet there is an insidious and subtle form of engagement nonetheless that is entrenching the Taliban’s worst behaviors. Some countries, such as China, Russia, Iran, and Turkey, maintain embassies in Kabul and accept Taliban figures in the former Republic of Afghanistan’s overseas embassies. This low-key engagement is undermining “shared values” such as rule of law, nondiscrimination, freedom of thought, and respect for both women’s rights and human rights more broadly, said former Afghan national security agency official Ahmad Shuja Jamal. “This creeping increase in diplomatic engagement short of recognition,” he said, enables the Taliban “to establish gender apartheid by completely banning women from public participation.”

Jamal said that the governments and multilateral organizations that deal with the Taliban—including the United States, Russia, China, and the U.N.—“are contributing to a breakdown of those values, which is currently harming the Afghan people most directly, but that degradation is going to affect every person all over the world in the long term.”

[radfemverity]

I grieve for all the years I lost in the anti-feminist, traditional conservative movement.

The quips at house parties where they would casually say ‘did I ask you to speak, woman?’ when I agreed with their sexist statements, the explicit statements they made of women’s supposed intellectual inferiority – shamelessly and right in front of me, the way they would bully me until I was reduced to tears and then use my emotional response as further evidence that I was worth nothing, personally or politically, without their approval, the hard-right youtubers that my friends introduced me to – the wholesome women with their beautiful aesthetics and fashion, contradicting the men and their abundance of rape jokes, the amount of friendships with women in my life that I never invested in developing because i was preoccupied with the ‘trad’ men who I thought defined my worth, and how I loved being the only woman in the massive friend group and therefore adopted the pick me mentality – how I wanted to be proof that while most women were indoctrinated by feminism, I was actually based, redpilled and in tune with my biological determined gender role, the internalised misogyny I developed from the existence of the sex trade and how I was presented with isolated, out-of-context examples to somehow substantiate a wider claim that women were at fault for the existence of hookup culture and pornography, the constant betrayals of finding out every alleged wholesome family man I grew close to was a secret crippling porn addict, how dirty that made me feel – literally filthy – not being able to subconsciously, let alone consciously, acknowledge that I was surrounded by men who held me to utopian standards that at 16-20 I was desperately trying to reach meanwhile they jerked off to sexual abuse behind my back, how when I turned 16 one of them told me ‘You’re legal now. Enjoy all the men pouncing on you you’re gonna get’ (and he meant that as a compliment), how when I was 19 I was asked by a 31 year old single, childless man why I was still single and childless, seeing Lauren Southern at 22 have to upload a video to youtube explaining why she was not yet married, seeing Lauren Southern tell young girls like me that we ‘need to hear’ that our value currency in this world is determined by factors we can hardly control – beauty, youth, fertility – meanwhile men’s value is entirely within their control, that time I was 18 and decided to take off my shirt at the beach and just wear my sports bra and shorts to swim in the sea, because I had forgot my swimsuit, and having my ex-boyfriend tell me not to do it again – meanwhile he, much like everyone else in that community, was watching porn behind my back – how ashamed I was made to feel by countless little incidents like all of the aforementioned, over five years, hating immodesty so much that I bathed with my swimsuit own, hating my bodily hair so much that I religiously shaved to the point where I avoided sex with my boyfriends because I didn’t want them to see even the little spikes of hair that grow back a day after shaving, hating my vulva so much (not that I even knew it was called a vulva), especially my inner labia, that I only ever had sex with the one left-wing guy I’ve ever dated because he was the only one I felt comfortable showing, how despite outperforming all of them – academically, morally, in terms of the lifestyle we strived for – I thought I was intellectually inferior and constantly relied on the guidance of misogynistic hypocrites who would never see me as their equal by design of their ideology, how much I hated myself because my internalised misogyny was so extreme. And no matter how hard I tried to separate myself from all other women, I was still a woman. These men, my friends, my community, the only people I had, were not making an exception for me. I was not the isolated case of a woman they could actually respect, and see as equal to them in worth. I was the useful idiot who they could use at parties to groom more young impressionable girls into the movement. “If we were truly woman-haters, if we were really misogynists, why would Verity be here?”

Please, please don’t give up on the right-wing, trad-leaning women in your life. They can turn around. If I had been exposed to radical feminist ideas, rather than the palatable-to-patriarchy liberal feminism that encouraged women to embrace hookup culture and neoliberal femininity, if I had been shown that there was another way, that I wasn’t stuck between this dichotomy of right-wing men’s handmaiden or left-wing men’s whore, maybe, just maybe, I would have gotten out before I was finally subjected to sexual abuse. I genuinely don’t know. But it’s possible.

The only radical feminist I had ever met before I left conservatism was a member of staff I had at my youth club aged 16-18, who would always listen to my trash-tier anti-feminist arguments and counter them. I never considered her a valid person, intellectually or morally, until the day that a male member of the club casually remarked that he found women with ‘messy pussies’ sickening, and asked me if my vagina looked like a ‘ham sandwich’. I was almost in tears, and she took me to one side and told me it doesn’t matter how down there looks, and to never tolerate that kind of treatment from a man (Liz, if you ever read this, thank you).

And I was a massively bitter, obnoxious kid who had dug my head in the sand because I would rather have died than supported the status quo. This is the case for a lot of young right-wing women. They are contrarians.

Give them a contrarian worldview that will solidify their self-esteem and give them a sense of innate worth – not like traditional conservatism which had me in a constant state of self-surveillance.

Give them something that will emancipate them, not oppress them. Please don’t give up on them. You have no idea of the depths of depravity and sexual exploitation which they are at risk of.

[vi-sigoth]

how did you come to be able to trust and believe in men not to betray, hurt, or degrade you over time? i've never been in a situation where i was surrounded by "cuck" leftists as you say, and while i agree those men are awful in their own way, i'm also wary of right leaning men that tend to hide a general sense of contempt for women. a common example i have on my mind often is higher IQ men who willingly marry women who are significantly or at least noticeably lower IQ because they don't believe or care if there are women closer to them in ability, and they enjoy having such control and influence over their wives or live-in girlfriends. there's more but i don't want to throw you a wall of text lol

So, there’s really no good answer to this. I can tell you my own experience, but my life and yours are probably very different.

I have absolutely noticed a lot of conservative men marrying women who are lower IQ, (and tons of “racist” white men marrying poorer Hispanic, Asian, and even black women, which…we don’t have time to unpack all of that).

I would say—keep your heart open. But have your hand on the gate, ready to slam it shut and lock it when you see a red flag. I think a lot of women, because we tend to be more agreeable and less inclined towards hurting feelings with men maybe are afraid of asking the more difficult questions towards the beginning of the relationship (although I think that both men and women nowadays suck really hard at communicating with each other). There are some things you need to ask about that people don’t like—because they’re pragmatic and not very romantic, but in my opinion, women should be asking—

1. What are your religious/moral/ethical views?

My husband and I are the same religion. He and I discussed it very soon after meeting each other. I know that some people like to say that people who are extremely religious probably don’t get divorced because they’re afraid of the shame and stigma, blah blah blah, but I don’t buy that entirely. I think people who’s religious views (which inform your morality and ethics) don’t get divorced as much as non-religious people because their worldviews simply align more and because of that, they’re able to build more harmonious marriages. Going back to Conservative men marrying lower IQ women — I’ve noticed a bizarre trend, mostly with the older generations, of Conservative men marrying liberal women, or marrying women that have a different religion than them. It’s because those men in particular don’t care very much about their wife as a fully-fledged human being. Who cares, let her have her silly worldviews, as long as dinner is on the table; women are stupid anyway, I’d only talk politics with the boys down at the bar—type mindset. Make men tell you their religious views. How do those views inform the way they think about women and the treatment of a wife?

2. What are your thoughts on sex? Is it appropriate to go to strip clubs? To look at porn? Will you ever ask me to swing/have a threesome? How kinky are you in bed? Do you like doing anything in bed that would be considered outside of the norm?

Now this—people REALLY don’t want to talk about this. I’m going to be mega-cringe and cite Jordan Peterson here, but he was absolutely right when he said that nowadays, young men and women do things in bed that they can’t talk about with each other. But you HAVE to talk about sex with each other. I promise, it’ll save you massive heartbreak down the road. Can you imagine being nineteen and staring deep into the eyes of your boyfriend and thinking about how much you love him, only for him to completely blindside you and ask you to have a threesome? Haha. Yeah. (I said no). Talk about sex now, even if you are waiting until after marriage, you can absolutely discuss the act even if you haven’t done it yet. How many times a week does he expect sex? My now husband and I discussed this, and we both unequivocally agreed that strip clubs are out of the question, as is porn watching, and neither of us want to bring other people into our bedroom. We are also on the same page about which sex acts are fine, and which ones are gross and never happening. If guy is pissy about any of this or unwilling to answer or discuss this, major red flag. What it typically means is that he’s already doing those things or wants to do them in the future and doesn’t want to make a promise that he won’t do them knowing full well he won’t keep it. Don’t ever let a guy make you feel like you’re crazy, stupid, or nagging for putting your foot down about pornography and strip clubs. He engages in that shit? Drop him. Men need to be behaving better, but we, as women, also need to be more active in punishing men for bad behavior. Also, ask how will he feel if for some reason you’re sick or recovering from childbirth and you can’t have sex with him for a few months? He understands that there might be periods of time when that happens, yes?

3. How will you contribute domestically? What will our split be?

Whichever person works less hours out of the house does more housework. Period, the end. He knows how to do dishes, do his own laundry, cook reasonably well, and clean a bathroom, right? He better. You also need clear affirmation that he understands that just because a woman stays at home, doesn’t mean they just sit around and do nothing all day. If you are a stay at home mother, he’s going to step in at night when he gets home and parent his children to give you some downtime, and he’ll help you with household chores at night that you might not have been able to get done because you might have been too tied up with taking care of kids? The answer to that better be yes. Make sure he’s not one of those guys that think that all he has to do is go to work and come home, and NOTHING else.

So yeah, I would say, I came to start liking and trusting the men around me a lot more by making sure that I was thoroughly vetting the ones that were interested in me romantically. My husband showed me that he was loyal and trustworthy while he was still my boyfriend because, not only he did he agree with me about all the above things, but he showed me by his kind, sweet, and thoughtful actions. Not only does he agree with me about splitting domestic labor (we both work the same hours outside the house at the moment) he actually does it. He helps with grocery shopping, making our lunches, making dinner, taking care of my cat, as just a few examples. A man who loves you will always show you.

#long post #anonymous #sorry for the constant long posting

[utilitycaster]

@spiderdreamer-blog I hope you don't mind me spinning off on this because I agree, and I have some unsubstantiated thoughts as to why. For what it's worth, it's common across fandom spaces; it's not specific to any one fandom.

Anyway. I think a lot of young people, especially young queer people, with politically conservative and often right-wing religious (usually but not exclusively Evangelical Christian) parents have, understandably, found a haven in fandom. Unfortunately, they have not yet learned how to actually interrogate their beliefs or look at things from a nuanced perspective, only to do a simple swap of what's Good and what's Bad (eg, used to be that God was Good and The Gays were Bad and now that's flipped, rather than like, a mature and complex approach to religion and sexuality and morality.)

(putting the rest under a cut because this is long as fuck and as stated, ultimately an unsubstantiated rant.)

The reason I think it's particularly pronounced in Evangelical Christians, at least among Americans, is that they can both leave and not leave in a way that say, an ex-ultra-Orthodox Jewish person (of whom I, as a Jewish person who was raised in a much more mainstream and moderate denomination, know quite a few) cannot. If you leave a small minority religion within your area, you are forced to undergo profound culture shock to survive. An ex-Evangelical in America, unless they were truly in an extremist cult to the point that like, women wearing pants is shocking to them, can remain in a kind of in-between state indefinitely.

I think it's gotten worse recently because of both the extreme and rapid polarization and subsequent insularization (that's not a word but you know what I'm getting at) caused by the Republican Party's descent into Christian fascism that's been going on for some time but rapidly accelerated in 2016; and the fact that the pandemic plus tiktok plus internet access in general have made it easier and at times preferable to only engage with likeminded online communities, whereas if you, well, go outside and touch grass, you will meet people who are largely on your side but still at times disagree with you, and this will speed up the process of developing critical thought.

Since we're talking about fandom here, you can also throw in the Geek Social Fallacies as a complicating factor - replace "ostracizer" with "person asking for some actual complexity" or "criticizer".

Also, I don't think everyone engaging in this behavior is from this particular background; I think that you also get newer people, especially young people new to fandom, who see this kind of behavior and don't realize how fucked up it is and just think it's the norm.

Anyway, things this explains:

In general:

What I like to call the people who think the B in LGBT stands for blue hair people: people who have never actually talked to queer people outside of fandom or learned any meaningful history/differences or evolution in terms and subcultures over the past century. People who don't understand how dramatically better the media landscape has become re: queer rep even in the past couple decades. Which leads to such nonsense takes as "it's queerbaiting to have the Wrong Lesbians Kiss", failure to understand non-traditional relationships, or getting weirdly hostile when people do not immediately equate like, a brightly colored shirt with Being Gay, or conversely getting mad when a canonically queer character doesn't "look queer".

An inability to separate ritual/observance from faith or handle the idea of fictional gods or fictional characters who find comfort in religion. This gets particularly bad in fantasy stories where the idea of physical, objectively real gods is not uncommon.

An inability to separate out what was is overly strict or abusive parental behavior vs just like, parents being imperfect human beings.

The belief that experiencing or enjoying something with behavior that can be deemed "problematic" will infect you with The Problems. Relatedly, the belief that mere depiction of something is glorification (ie, Conservatives:saying a trans person just living their life is glorifying Bad Lifestyles and Corrupting The Youth::The kind of person I'm talking about:saying that if you show violence in media it's Bad to have Shown Bad Things)

Overemphasis on "wholesome", uplifting, and unchallenging material. I wish everyone who legitimately thought that saying fix-it-fics are good actually because it's inherently and objectively better to show a character living than dying a very grow a fucking brain.

Being fucking weird about the concept of redemption arcs and seeing redemption either as a binary (redeemed/not redeemed) or alternately as something you must constantly and endlessly self-flagellate over until you die instead of just like, an ongoing process during which you may also live a normal life. (FWIW the reason I think people are SO weird about these is because they still only really understand redemption as Being Saved but since they no longer really believe in that specific process they sort of short circuit.)

Trusting charismatic individuals who reaffirm your beliefs instead of understanding how to do research and verify sources. (terrifyingly, not limited to fandom).

Basically, if someone sounds like they're proposing an even more severe Hayes Code, except it's gay and anticapitalist? Chances are this is precisely what's up.

I think it also might be behind the following behaviors:

I know I've been on this a lot but spamming tons of people with the same claim. Real knocking on my door asking me if I've heard the good news or informing me while I am literally just taking an elevator that Jesus loves me energy. (The fact that the specific person who I think keeps doing this is obsessed with penance is also contributing.)

Freaking out when people don't agree, due to a mindset that does not have room for doubt or dissent.

Anyway I do think a lot of people, as they finally break free and go to college or go to their first job and get therapy and meet people with different perspectives, unlearn these behaviors, but there's still that constant influx of new young people who act like this. And, unfortunately, because this mindset is somewhat tautological (I am good therefore what I like is good->if the thing I liked does not reflect my belief it is not good->beliefs reinforced), without that outside real-world influence you do get people who are just...stuck.

#long post #on fandom #anyway gonna leave that there and go do work at the coffee place for an hour or so

[generalchelseamayhem]

OK. I'm not super-duper knowledgeable on MRAs or men's rights activists/associations in general, and I'm not ashamed to admit that.

But, even I can see that it's never been as big as people make it out to be.

Correct if I'm wrong, but doesn't feminists have celebrities and politicians backing them, while mras have... themselves? Or has anything changed?

If not, that's hypocritical to ignore when critiquing.

Well the thing is, MRAs, despite the size of the actual community, get identified with a lot of other movements, which is generally pretty unfair to do. I would never say there can't be good feminists just because, say, Andrea Dworkin exists. Dworkin has been and continues to be unaccountably influential, basically pioneering radical feminism as it exists today, but that doesn't stop 'women having rights and dignity' from being a fundamentally noble goal. I can see how people can take that premise and do good, useful things with it, even though Dworkin did not.

Nevertheless, one news beat-up about one idiot man who did something objectionable, and suddenly the MRM has to take full responsibility for the existence of entire social movements which have nearly nothing in common with it - perhaps a questionably-sized overlap in membership.

The problem with this model is that, obviously, men are multifaceted, and can care about multiple things at one time. Some of the things they care about have directly competing interests with other things, and that's relatively normal. You pick and choose which values of broad-scale movements you personally support. There are LGBT people out there who are devoutly religious. What I'm trying to say is that some men might be both MRAs and something else, like conservative Christians, but as a whole you'd be hard-pressed to say the entirety of conservative Christians definitively care about men's rights.

Note also: some people only pretend to care about men's rights. This is called grifting, and it sucks. Part of the reason it sucks is because men aren't actually being helped by it, and another part is that it gives MRAs a whole new organisation to be wrongly associated with.

So, in no particular order, MRAs have been deemed responsible for the following things:

MGTOWs

Incels (including Elliot Rodger)

The Alt-Right, and by extension, neo-nazis

Trans activism

Pick-Up Artists

The curation of men-only spaces

Religious trads (Thank you, Stefan Molyneux...)

GamerGate

In general, anything that is deemed anti-feminist

So, you know, when critiquing the movement, or the very idea that men have issues that need addressing, people can just point to those things instead.

It freaking sucks.

#MRA #ask

[sexpositivepunk]

December 4th, 1948. On Palestine

To the Editors of the New York Times:

Among the most disturbing political phenomena of our times is the emergence in the newly created state of Israel of the "Freedom Party" (Tnuat Haherut), a political party closely akin in its organization, methods, political philosophy and social appeal to the Nazi and Fascist parties. It was formed out of the membership and following of the former Irgun Zvai Leumi, a terrorist, right-wing, chauvinist organization in Palestine.

The current visit of Menachem Begin, leader of this party, to the United States is obviously calculated to give the impression of American support for his party in the coming Israeli elections, and to cement political ties with conservative Zionist elements in the United States. Several Americans of national repute have lent their names to welcome his visit. It is inconceivable that those who oppose fascism throughout the world, if correctly informed as to Mr. Begin's political record and perspectives, could add their names and support to the movement he represents.

Before irreparable damage is done by way of financial contributions, public manifestations in Begin's behalf, and the creation in Palestine of the impression that a large segment of America supports Fascist elements in Israel, the American public must be informed as to the record and objectives of Mr. Begin and his movement.

The public avowals of Begin's party are no guide whatever to its actual character. Today they speak of freedom, democracy and anti-imperialism, whereas until recently they openly preached the doctrine of the Fascist state. It is in its actions that the terrorist party betrays its real character; from its past actions we can judge what it may be expected to do in the future.

Attack on Arab Village

A shocking example was their behavior in the Arab village of Deir Yassin. This village, off the main roads and surrounded by Jewish lands, had taken no part in the war, and had even fought off Arab bands who wanted to use the village as their base. On April 9 (THE NEW YORK TIMES), terrorist bands attacked this peaceful village, which was not a military objective in the fighting, killed most of its inhabitants240 men, women, and childrenand kept a few of them alive to parade as captives through the streets of Jerusalem. Most of the Jewish community was horrified at the deed, and the Jewish Agency sent a telegram of apology to King Abdullah of Trans-Jordan. But the terrorists, far from being ashamed of their act, were proud of this massacre, publicized it widely, and invited all the foreign correspondents present in the country to view the heaped corpses and the general havoc at Deir Yassin.

The Deir Yassin incident exemplifies the character and actions of the Freedom Party.

Within the Jewish community they have preached an admixture of ultranationalism, religious mysticism, and racial superiority. Like other Fascist parties they have been used to break strikes, and have themselves pressed for the destruction of free trade unions. In their stead they have proposed corporate unions on the Italian Fascist model.

During the last years of sporadic anti-British violence, the IZL and Stern groups inaugurated a reign of terror in the Palestine Jewish community. Teachers were beaten up for speaking against them, adults were shot for not letting their children join them. By gangster methods, beatings, window-smashing, and wide-spread robberies, the terrorists intimidated the population and exacted a heavy tribute.

The people of the Freedom Party have had no part in the constructive achievements in Palestine. They have reclaimed no land, built no settlements, and only detracted from the Jewish defense activity. Their much-publicized immigration endeavors were minute, and devoted mainly to bringing in Fascist compatriots.

Discrepancies Seen

The discrepancies between the bold claims now being made by Begin and his party, and their record of past performance in Palestine bear the imprint of no ordinary political party. This is the unmistakable stamp of a Fascist party for whom terrorism (against Jews, Arabs, and British alike), and misrepresentation are means, and a "Leader State" is the goal.

In the light of the foregoing considerations, it is imperative that the truth about Mr. Begin and his movement be made known in this country. It is all the more tragic that the top leadership of American Zionism has refused to campaign against Begin's efforts, or even to expose to its own constituents the dangers to Israel from support to Begin.

The undersigned therefore take this means of publicly presenting a few salient facts concerning Begin and his party; and of urging all concerned not to support this latest manifestation of fascism.

ISIDORE ABRAMOWITZ, HANNAH ARENDT, ABRAHAM BRICK, RABBI JESSURUN CARDOZO, ALBERT EINSTEIN, HERMAN EISEN, M.D., HAYIM FINEMAN, M. GALLEN, M.D., H.H. HARRIS, ZELIG S. HARRIS, SIDNEY HOOK, FRED KARUSH, BRURIA KAUFMAN, IRMA L. LINDHEIM, NACHMAN MAISEL, SEYMOUR MELMAN, MYER D. MENDELSON, M.D., HARRY M. OSLINSKY, SAMUEL PITLICK, FRITZ ROHRLICH, LOUIS P. ROCKER, RUTH SAGIS, ITZHAK SANKOWSKY, I.J. SHOENBERG, SAMUEL SHUMAN, M. SINGER, IRMA WOLFE, STEFAN WOLFE.

Source: https://www.nytimes.com/1948/12/04/archives/new-palestine-party-visit-of-menachen-begin-and-aims-of-political.html

#It was fucked up then and it's fucked up now #free palestine

[someoneintheshadow456]

Hi! I recently found your blog, and I've seen some posts you've made/reblogged a long while ago about the political situation in India, like with the situation in Kashmir. I've recently seen some people say India is "brutally colonizing Kashmir" and other such things. I understand that this is a topic that is not being discussed at the moment, but some posts along these lines are quite recent and I wanted to know your thoughts on the Kashmir situation and these arguments, if that is okay with you.

It's the other way around. Kashmir is being brutally colonized by Pakistan.

Kashmir was originally a 60/40 distribution between religions (with Muslims having slight majority), and was ruled by a Hindu king. There was supposed to be a ruling to decide the fate of Kashmir in the 90s, however a mass genocide of the Hindu population in the area and an invasion by Pakistan happened before the ruling could even take place. In short - whatever the people of Kashmir wanted - Pakistan decided to ignore it and make the decision for them.

If you look at Kashmir's religious demographics, you will see the Hindu population suddenly rapidly drop in the 90s (to the point where less than 10% of the population is Hindu today) and most people will refuse to tell you why that happened, or brush it off as "migration." Many people will even justify the genocide by saying that Kashmiri Hindus were the "rich oppressors" and "had it coming" - the same reasons used to persecute Jewish people in Nazi Germany.

Kashmiri Hindus in India to this day live in horrible conditions because the government knows if they do anything to actually improve their situation beyond offering platitudes, fundamentalist Muslim groups will riot. In fact, most Kashmiri Hindus feel that it would be safer for the government not to notice them at all, because when they do, hate crimes against them increase.

Until very recently in Kashmir, only Sunni Muslim men had the right to vote and own property. When homosexuality was legalized in India, this applied to every state but Kashmir. Most laws relating to women's rights, domestic violence, child rights, etc did not apply there. It wasn't even a state for all Muslims - it was a state to benefit a very small pool of upper caste Sunni men in power.

When Kashmir went from being a special territory to statehood, the ones who were rioting were these upper caste rich Sunni men who were salty that they wouldn't be the only ones with exclusive rights anymore. And sure enough, after this ruling, hate crimes against the Kashmiri Hindu community rose.

Whenever you hear of the Indian army committing atrocities in Kashmir - it's usually tales of the Indian army retaliating against Pakistan-sponsored terror in the region, or cases when terrorists deliberately put their own people in danger and pin the blame on the army.

This video by Middle Ground (and the comments provide more information) will help you to understand the situation better. In it, the Kashmiri Hindu was the only one who had a loved one die because of the conflict (his father was killed when he was 15). And he was dismissed/mocked by the conservative Muslim speakers while the moderate Muslim speaker sympathised with him.

#desiblr #kashmir

[coochiequeens]

Gambia's parliament of 58 lawmakers includes five women. If the bill eventually passes through parliament, President Adama Barrow is expected to sign it into law. He has not spoken publicly about the legislation."

Ladies, this is why "every vote counts" means everywhere elections are held. Vote more women into office

Lawmakers in Gambia have referred a repeal of the 2015 ban on female genital cutting for further committee discussions

By ABDOULIE JOHN Associated Press and JESSICA DONATI Associated Press

March 18, 2024, 8:49 AM

SERREKUNDA, Gambia -- Lawmakers in Gambia referred an attempted repeal of the 2015 ban on female genital cutting for further committee discussions on Monday.

Gambian activists fear a repeal would overturn years of work to better protect girls and women. The legislation was referred to a national committee for further debate and could return to a vote in the weeks and months ahead.

Activists in the largely Muslim country had warned that lifting the ban would hurt years of work against a procedure often performed on girls younger than 5 in the mistaken belief that it would control their sexuality.

The procedure, which also has been called female genital mutilation, includes the partial or full removal of external genitalia, often by traditional community practitioners with tools such as razor blades or at times by health workers. It can cause serious bleeding, death and childbirth complications but remains a widespread practice in parts of Africa.

Jaha Dukureh, the founder of Safe Hands for Girls, a local group that aims to end the practice, told The Associated Press she worried that other laws safeguarding women’s rights could be repealed next. Dukureh underwent the procedure and watched her sister bleed to death.

“If they succeed with this repeal, we know that they might come after the child marriage law and even the domestic violence law. This is not about religion but the cycle of controlling women and their bodies,” she said. The United Nations has estimated that more than half of women and girls ages 15 to 49 in Gambia have undergone the procedure.

The bill is backed by religious conservatives in the nation of less than 3 million people. Its text says that “it seeks to uphold religious purity and safeguard cultural norms and values." The country’s top Islamic body has called the practice “one of the virtues of Islam."

Gambia's former leader, Yahya Jammeh, banned the practice in 2015 in a surprise to activists and with no public explanation. Since the law took effect, enforcement has been weak, with only two cases prosecuted.

On Monday, a crowd of men and women gathered outside Gambia's parliament, some carrying signs protesting the bill. Police in riot gear held them back.

Gambia's parliament of 58 lawmakers includes five women. If the bill eventually passes through parliament, President Adama Barrow is expected to sign it into law. He has not spoken publicly about the legislation.

The United States has supported activists who are trying to stop the practice. Earlier this month, it honored Gambian activist Fatou Baldeh at the White House with an International Women of Courage Award.

The U.S. Embassy in Gambia declined to say whether any high-level U.S. official in Washington had reached out to Gambian leaders over the bill. In its emailed statement, Geeta Rao Gupta, the top U.S. envoy for global women's issues, called it “incredibly important” to listen to the voices of survivors like Baldeh.

The chairperson of the local Center for Women’s Rights and Leadership, Fatou Jagne Senghore said the bill is “aimed at curtailing women’s rights and reversing the little progress made in recent years.” The president of the local Female Lawyers Association, Anna Njie, said the practice “has been proven to cause harm through medical evidence.”

UNICEF said earlier this month that some 30 million women globally have undergone female genital cutting in the past eight years, most of them in Africa but some in Asia and the Middle East.

More than 80 countries have laws prohibiting the procedure or allowing it to be prosecuted, according to a World Bank study cited this year by a United Nations Population Fund Q&A published earlier this year. They include South Africa, Iran, India and Ethiopia.

“No religious text promotes or condones female genital mutilation,” the UNFPA report says, adding there is no benefit to it.

Girls are subjected to the procedure at ages ranging from infancy to adolescence. Long term, it can lead to urinary tract infections, menstrual problems, pain, decreased sexual satisfaction and childbirth complications as well as depression, low self-esteem and post-traumatic stress disorder.

#Gambia #female genital mutilation #Trying to control women through violence #Safe Hands for Girls #Using religion to harm women #Using culturepal traditions to harm women #No religious text promotes or condones female genital mutilation