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drdemonprince · 29 days

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Re: autistic advice; i keep seeing people making fun of stuff like "are you in a place to hear bad news" or scripts like that. I grew up in an environment where it was common practice to just drop heavy subjects on people out of the blue, & I still find that intensely uncomfortable. But I've now had multiple people tell me that it makes them feel shitty when I ask, for example, "are you up for a dark subject?" & I don't really know how to square it away. I want to make sure that I'm not stepping on anyone's toes or making them feel ambushed or trapped, but apparently it makes some people feel like they're not allowed to have their feelings. I end up feeling pretty shitty about it, because like... it feels like either I have to be Rude (because it DOES feel rude to just drop a dark topic on someone) &/or risk having something shitty I can't deal with dropped in my lap, or else really upset people. I guess... is there a way to navigate this?

I would recommend being more specific.

People find phrases like "Are you in a place to hear something that might hurt you?" and "Are you up for a dark subject?" to be a bit presumptuous about what their emotional reactions will be or what they are capable of handling. It also can make what would have otherwise been a very unremarkable exchange become tinged with anticipatory anxiety.

When someone asks me a question like "are you up to hear something dark?" I might feel coddled and condescended to, rather than emotionally respected. Or if they ask me "are you prepared to hear something that might hurt you?" / "are you up for a serious conversation?" I think they're about to drop some serious emotional bomb on me, like that they're friend-dumping me for something horrible that I didn't realize I did. Then when it ends up being a meme they want to share or a question about a celebrity lawsuit or something i'm kind of pissed at the false alarm and the coddling that, rather than protecting me, made me feel worse.

In either case, rather than giving me time to emotionally prepare or interact when I am ready, these vague questions have introduced some kind signal of social or emotional threat. If anything, it increases the felt urgency to just have the damn conversation already and see what kind of monster is lurking behind the person's words. It makes me *less* likely to exercise control over when the conversation happens or when I see the upsetting thing.

So be specific. "Do you wanna see a disgusting meme?" "I want your opinion on something, but the question touches on sexual assault. Is that okay to talk about?" "I want to talk to you about a conflict I'm having with my other partner." "Can I ask you your opinion on this transphobia discourse?" Etc.

The more specific you can be about the subject and why you are asking about it, the more power you are giving the other person to actually decide what they want to engage with. When someone asks me if I am willing to discuss something dark, I really have no idea what to say. They're imposing their judgement of what is a dark or upsetting topic onto me, when really they have no idea what I might find triggering and what I might really enjoy getting to talk about.

Rather than trying to protect me from something I haven't even encountered yet, you gotta let me encounter it, and actually trust that I will take care of myself. If I don't want to talk about sexual assault I won't, if I don't want to look at gross imagery I'll say no, if hearing one more bad thing about your other partner is going to make my jealousy fume, I am responsible for handling that. You're not responsible for my emotions.

It's good to notice which subjects your friends are especially sensitive to and what big triggers they have so that you can be considerate. My friends know I cant look at lots of blood flowing out of someone for instance and dont send me visuals/fics that feature, say, wrists being slit or blood being drawn. But if they forgot, I'd understand and just look away and squeal oh no i cant look at that get it away. And that would be fine. They are not responsible for my reactions to things.

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cafecliche · 4 months

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fic writer meme!

[RISES FROM THE DEPTHS] I'm here!! Thank you so much @uhuraisgay and @englishsub for the tags, and also for reminding me that I've missed Tumblr

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 50 even - which was more than I thought!

2. what's your total ao3 wordcount? 187,448

3. what fandoms do you write for?

My fic-writing impulses come along like cicada seasons, except without any regularity whatsoever: I do a lot of dabbling in a lot of fandoms, I can never really tell if something's going to light my brain on fire. Most of my fic output came from Yuletide for a long while (I loved the grab bag aspect and writing little treats for small fandoms, but then my holidays got busier), and then Yuri on Ice and MDZS were my biggest fandoms by far, especially MDZS. I've written Yuwu recently, and I'd love to write some Trigun, LoZ, or Mysterious Lotus Casebook one of these days.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

grow

the only way out

The Guests of Cloud Recesses

detente

bespoke

And the soft animal is our runner-up at #6!

5. do you respond to comments?

I usually don't unless it's a request or a question, but I read and treasure every one.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I am too tender for Bad Endings for the most part, but my canon-verse Nie Huaisang fic after me comes the flood does not end in a particularly good place for anyone involved. (But even then, we know it gets better for him eventually... albeit at the expense of several bystanders)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I tend to write pretty gentle, occasionally LIGHTLY bittersweet happy endings (that's the cafecliche guarantee baby) but part of me wants to say 'the only way out' (and probably 'the yunmeng accords' series in general) here. I tend to write fic when I want to play around with the emotions or relationship dynamics that can already be found in canon, so 'the yunmeng accords' is probably as close to a fix-it as I'm going to get.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not usually! I was part of the Great MDZS Anon Hate Train of 2021, but that was the worst I've ever gotten by several magnitudes - the vast majority of commenters are fabulous.

9. do you write smut?

Not yet! It's not off the table, though.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you have written?

I actually don't think I've ever written a crossover! The closest I've ever gotten was when I look over my shoulder, but even that's 'Wangxian in a Conjuring-esque ghosthunters in love situation' and not really a formal Conjuring AU.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had plagiarism brought to my attention a couple times, but truly just a handful. I still remember getting a message on FF.net that someone had ripped off a line from my Black Lagoon fic. The SCANDAL of it all.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

MDZS is the first fandom where I've gotten translation requests, which is always so cool! To my knowledge, I've had fics translated into Russian, Spanish, and Ukranian.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but brainstorming fic concepts with my brilliant friends is one of my favorite thing in the world.

14. what's your all time favorite ship?

omg ever? Well Victuuri and Wangxian have been the ones that really lit my brain on fire (if I own the Nendos, it's serious) but let me also throw it back to Fakir and Ahiru in Princess Tutu. That is ROMANCE.

15. what is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I would have really liked to have one more entry to 'the yunmeng accords!' I had a couple of ideas that I really liked, but nothing that caught fire quite enough to dive into it. That said, I am currently working on something short and Yunmeng Shuangjie-related, at the very least...

16. what are your writing strengths?

Emotional through-lines, pacing, and that sweet, sweet catharsis. I'm drawn to particular fandoms when they leave me with an emotion that I need to break down over the course of several thousand words, and I know that shows through in my writing.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Choreography! I'm not a very visual thinker, so sometimes it takes me a while just to figure out how to block the characters in a given scene. I also have a lot of trouble getting into a draft until I figure out the voice, which, when it comes to fanfic, will either come to me extremely easily or not at all.

18. thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

Yeah, absolutely! (But if you don't speak the language, do your research!)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

[rubs my temples] an X-Men crackfic.

20. favorite fic you have written?

Oh my god. WELL. 'grow' and 'the only way out' I think are the best fics I've written, and 'when I look over my shoulder' and 'the soft animal' are also extremely close to my heart. But 'detente' might be the favorite child. It just gushed out of me.

I think a great many of you have been tagged at this point, so sorry for any double-tags, but: @bluecrystalrainingdaggers @tigerjpg @floofyfluff @vinelark and anyone else who'd like to go for it!

#hi! I'm still here #writing meme

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frosted-luckycharms · 2 years

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why i love the sentiadrien theory.

(NOTE: this isn't a list of reasons why i believe the theory's true, i know that's already been talked about and debated a lot. these are just reasons i think it's a good twist in the story.)

it has the potential to be so powerful for adrien's character arc. whenever he finds a way to free himself, whether that's by getting a hold of his own amok, or even figuring out how to destroy his connection to it (personally i love the foil-miraculous theory so im rooting for the concept of a cool upgraded cataclysm), it'll be so meaningful as a symbol of overcoming abuse and finding freedom. ESPECIALLY if that comes in the image of using the power of destruction he was given to cataclysm his metaphorical shackles just like how he's cataclysmed physical cages and walls so many times throughout the show. just. the SYMBOLISM. chefs kiss

whenever mari/ladybug finds out about this, hopefully we'll get to see her go all Fierce Protector Mode to defend adrien/chat and encourage him that he's still an amazing and valid person (please?? this would be so cute????)

also since marinette, who holds the miraculous of creation, is known for her bravery, agency, and creativity- traits adrien as a senti never had a chance to have growing up- it gives more reason to root for her and adrien's relationship. she can help him heal, bring out his humanity and grow into himself. if that makes sense?? i read a rlly cool meta on this once but i forget who wrote it:(

it gives a meaningful reason for emilie's death. the plot of the show literally wouldn't exist if not for emilie dying (or falling into a coma if that's what you prefer), and it would be a bit anticlimactic to find out that the reason she died was because she just wanted to create, idk, robot assistants or a pet dog or something. whoever emilie created, she DIED for them, and so imo it only makes sense that the being she created was adrien, her child.

sentimonsters are such a good metaphor for abuse. since the show's for kids, it's hard to talk blatantly about heavy topics like abuse, but this lets them deal with it in a kid-friendly way. and i know this has been discussed already, but i don't think that using a magical metaphor lessens the gravity of the issue at all. as i saw someone point out, miraculous has always been a show that uses magical metaphors (akumas, superhero disguises, you name it) to talk about real-life issues both kids and adults deal with, and personally i think that's really beautiful.

it just..... honestly makes the show so much more interesting/dark/angsty???? in a way that's chillingly unexpected, but also makes so much narrative SENSE looking back on it, which i think we can all agree is the best kind of plot twist. personally as much as i love the lighthearted funny parts of the show (i do!!!), i've always been drawn to the contrast of its more tragic, epic-scale side (especially since seeing cat blanc aka my favorite episode lol). IM NOT EVIL I JUST LIKE PAIN, OK

all the potential for angsty fanarts/fics/other fanworks. i've seen quite a few of these but i know there's also a lot more out there i haven't seen yet, and i just love all the concepts that fans are exploring because of this theory.

sentimonster jokes/memes are hilarious sorry. but not really sorry because i am 1000% sure adrien "i-cope-with-my-problems-with-humor" agreste will be TOTALLY on board the jokes too once he gets over the initial shock/existential horror/etc

ok i think that's all i have off the top of my head but if anyone else thinks of more reasons plz reblog and add on!!! let's get some more positivity for this show's writing and for our senti cat child because he sure deserves it <333

#ml #sentiadrien #sentimonster theory #adrien is a sentimonster #ml sugar #ml theory #ml meta #pro sentiadrien #mine #miraculous ladybug

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mariegoos · 5 months

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This year, this holiday season, I invite you all to share my tale of Christmas woe. A tale I haven't told in many moons.

'Twas 2013 or 2014 I don't especially remember which. I had been invited to a Christmas party and told to bring a gift for a white elephant exchange below 15 dollars. I didn't know anyone especially well, but I was convinced this was a chance to make friends-- I had met these people through a special interest that basically amounted to competitive fanart. I had a hint for gift themes through that alone, yet so much nerd stuff was well over my budget. And I was determined to win this gift exchange.

You see, this wasn't my first white elephant. I had endured many since they had gained pinterest popularity in 2011 or so. And each time I carefully curated a crowd-pleasing gift of high-end sweets or thoughtful glassware-- each one visibly and loudly poopoo'd by the receiver at the end of the game. I had walked away from those social groups (they were not great besides these things) and I was meeting new people, so now a little desperate. But also jaded from my past.

After so much searching I realized-- my gift, no matter how thoughtful, will at best be set aside and forgotten. So why not go all out, burn every bridge, and use this gift to create a MOMENT? Yes, an unforgettable gag gift was what I needed. And boy, did I ever find one. A blend of pop culture meme and sheer absurdity that was so 2010s I'll never forget it.

I arrived at the party, mingled, waited for my moment. I knew the moment I heard the discussions of comics and D&D, saw the loop of Darth Vader yule log on the television, that I had chosen wisely. The game began, and I was so consumed with the opening of the gift I had given that I don't remember what I ended up receiving. I watched as it passed through hands, people clamoring for it. They were intrigued by its shape, a large tube wrapped tightly with a bow. What could it be, they wondered?

Finally, it settled in the hands of the lucky recipient and the time had come to open the prize. And when he tore the paper from the tube, pulled out the contents within, and allowed it to unfurl, I could barely contain my mirth.

Hidden within was was wall mural sized vinyl sticker of a cartoon-style drawn Sith Lord Jar Jar Binks. That's right, from that old meme theory. Complete with dark side lightning. I'm talking 24" x 36". I had found it by chance on a print-on-demand shop for small artists and purchased it immediately, imagining the laughter and recognition of my peers that would follow.

The room was silent. Awkwardly so. Finally, the man who had unwrapped the sticker asked. "What is it?" as he looked around the group for the perpetrator.

"It's Jar Jar Binks," I said. "As a sith lord." There was more silence. "Like the meme?"

"Oh," someone else in the crowd said, in the uncomfortable tone of someone trying to ease the tension of such a moment. "I get it."

More silence.

"Thanks, I guess," the gift recipient said with a shrug. The festivities moved on.

There are multiple morals to this story.

Never purchase a gift in service to yourself, even if it's a gag.

Never bring salad to a potluck (it was a good salad!!!)

I am the funniest person alive and am simply unappreciated in my time.

#text post #sith lord jar jar #meme culture of the 2010s #thank god my 20s are over #that was still one of the funniest things i've ever done #i lost touch with the vast majority of those people but still mutually follow 2 who are cool #star wars memes of yore #i might delete this later

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wolfboyvirus · 3 months

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Tell me about that astolfo of yours

VINE BOOM. i didnt expect anyone to be interested in him haha okay uhhh lets see. fair warning, his story is very,,,, wobbly and uncertain at the moment. so some of this is vague or subject to change!!

now, first of all, this is astolfo:

yes i had to include the meme. this is my single favorite image of him

now, when his story begins, he's already a... kind-of-deviant. something in-between coming off the factory line and breaking the red wall. he can feel things, weakly, but he can't directly defy orders. however, he can do things that he isn't necessarily told to do; this is how he finds himself sometimes sneaking away on his own when he's meant to be in stasis, how he finds himself collecting knickknacks from people's trash that he finds interesting. nevertheless, he simply continues to do his job, because he doesn't feel like he should be doing anything else. yet.

then, he meets someone, a deviant. a runaway, who ended up hiding out in what was essentially astolfo's little secret hangout near the building he's kept in while in stasis. it's basically like a small-ish grey shed with a window, near the garbage dump. he's a little perturbed at first, but the two find themselves drawn to eachother, quickly becoming friends.

eventually though, his friend tells him that they have to leave soon; they've already stayed here too long. they have somewhere they need to go, someone to find that can help them. and they want to bring astolfo with them, but astolfo... he doesn't really want to leave. he's never wanted anything more than what he has right now. he doesn't think the risk is worth it. and above all... he's scared. scared of leaving all that he has now, his safety, his routine, to search for an ideal life he'll probably never find. but he doesn't know that's what he's feeling. he refuses their offer; his friend is disappointed, which makes something inside him churn uncomfortably, but they don't try to force him. they prepare to resume their journey alone, but before they leave, they interface with him, leaving him with a small file. "just in case," they say. it contains a location, marked far from the main city, and a single name: zlatko. then they're gone, leaving him as just he was before this all started. alone

it takes maybe a week for astolfo to finally realize, just a bit too late, how much worse his life is without them in it. he realizes that he does want more than this; he's no longer content with his programmed monotony. he wants to experience something new, he wants his only friend back, he wants... to be alive. so he deviates. breaks down his red walls and runs away, in the hopes he can somehow find his friend again, his only reason for getting this far. and his only lead is the location they shared before they left.

when he arrives at zlatko's, he mentions that he's looking for someone he knows. after being stared down menacingly, he's soon welcomed inside, and told that his friend had been here– but they've already been sent off, much to astolfo's dismay. when zlatko offers to help astolfo out too and send him in the same direction, he finds no reason to refuse. and everything seem to be going well until he's led into the basement. i think everyone knows how this goes.

having fallen for his tricks just like kara and unable to break free, zlatko gives him his horrible truth; that his friend never made it out of here alive. no, in fact, they're currently splayed out on his lab table, broken into pieces. astolfo finds himself feeling a new kind of pain. and he screams, the agony piercing him like a knife.

he doesn't notice when his time runs out. his memory is "erased", his systems jailbroken, and he's given one additional objective to follow: to spread the location of zlatko's base, so that he'll have a constant supply flow of androids coming right to him. it's buried deep in his coding, set up so that nobody can find it, not even the android himself. astolfo is sent back to the standby pod he returns to each night, and in the morning... he returns to his programmed routine. he's not able to break through again; the only person that could've possibly triggered him to do so was lying dead and torn apart in zlatko's house. not that astolfo could remember that. all he's left with is this nagging feeling that something is wrong.

this is about as far as i've gotten for the most part. i imagine that for a few years, he does the exact thing you see him do in the game; he completes his primary tasks, if he ever encounters another deviant, he sends them to zlako, without really knowing why. it's only when the revolution happens that something would finally change, but i'll have to think about exactly how that goes down. so this is all i've got for now :] hope you enjoyed my boy!! he is very beloved 2 me

(side note, i developed astolfo side by side with @aye-toast who has their own background character ocs, specifically two zlatko androids: the one in the bathtub, named walton, and one of the ones down in the basement, name louie. we had a lot of fun with em <333)

#dbh oc #dbh #wr600 #god i love him so much #one thing i do need to figure out is astolfos bestie #im not really sure what they look like or their own backstory yet #maybe i can look around the android models in zlatkos house and choose one of those? shrug #or just choose any random model to base them on really #thennnn i gotta figure out what happens to him late/post game #it would be neat if he survived and ended up in jericho or something like that

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sunstranded · 13 days

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INTJ: Playing the Social Game

I consciously choose my "games" wisely. I don't like diving into social settings without preparation. A preparation I'd call masking, or presenting as a different type.

First I must disclose I don't consciously choose among the other 15 personality types as I prepare to go out. It is mentally preparing myself to be tethered at the present and play with whatever cards I am drawn. In a literal sense, "the cards I draw" are people's reactions on whatever I present in the social situation. If they had built an impression that I am a humorous extrovert, then I keep that in mind for the next game with them. For the present, I just play around those cards that I draw.

To explain these "cards," imagine personally customized playing cards. I know the look, it speaks my branding, and no matter what hand I draw it is still true to me. I don't have 52 faces, but I do have 4 settings that we can refer to as the houses in those cards.

People who read these (aka me) know what theory I am referencing but for fun I won't mention it explicitly.

Spades - Default settings

Resting threat for a face. People have called me a cactus, silent critic, intimidating, and scary.

Heart - Passing as Congenial

I often get accused of being humble, kind, warm, gentle, and helpful.

Clubs - Planned and Spoteneous

Described as funny, unserious, and loud.

Diamonds - Last Stand

Challenge-seeking, prankster, and absolutely petty.

This is genuinely why I don't really subscribe to the notion that INTJs are bad at socializing. Though, I do agree with INTJs not handling surprises well. We control so much in the abstract (aka in our heads) that when reality changes slightly we are thrown off and the mask slips.

I also don't agree with the stereotype that INTJs are not good at spontaneous decision making. I can go off the cuff and make decisions along the way. I often become the anchor since I have this calmness and resolve in adversity. INTJs don't like surprises because the things we control aren't the tangible reality but rather the understanding we have of said reality. We observe first, know what is within our influence, then work with everything pragmatically.

I would call us more surgical since we tend to be precise in action but I think we're more akin to defusing bombs in a sense that when we realize that it is not worth defusing it, we just get the hell out of there. Surgery would imply that there's a life on the line more directly than defusing a bomb especially if it's in that game... what is it called now? I grew up calling it CS...

I digress. I just wanted to make it known because INTJs are either ignorant of their role in social setting or hyperaware. Hence, the introvert meme of us just hating social interaction. It isn't shyness; we just really don't want to talk and would rather [insert intj stereotype here].

Anyway, here's finally a new way to stereotype INTJs because I am so sick of being associated with chess when I don't even play that. Other that one time I didn't know the rules and intimidated someone until they forfeited.

(also this posted by accident when I was deleting drafts when I wasn't even done yet...)

#intj #mbti

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amtrak12 · 20 days

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❤️🧡🤍🩷💜A WLW ASK MEME❤️🧡🤍🩷💜 List the top 10 ladies you’ve been obsessed with Ever Of All Time! Then send this on to 5 sapphic mutuals 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Yes, fun! :D Thank you!!

Okay, I went fictional characters with this because I just don't really get obsessed with RL people outside of like a 5 year period between 2005-2010 where I followed select actors around to other shows. Also, there's only three ladies who I can confirm fit both 'obsessed' and 'ever of all time', so I've trudged through my entire childhood for every fictional lady who's helped shape my personality to round out the list.

In Chronological Order (to me not by air date):

Margaret Houlihan (M*A*S*H) -- Oh MASH reruns on the Hallmark channel, my beloved 💚 Now, I'm primarily talking about the juicy middle seasons after Potter took over command and Loretta Swit was able to wrestle some better storylines for Margaret, but there's some gems in the early years too. I've been drawn back to MASH three times as an adult and each time I get sucked deeper and deeper into both the real life history of the Korean War and the fictional character of Margaret. Do I have a thousand and one headcanons for how she handles life after the war? Yes. Am I obsessed with whatever platonic/sexual relationship she's got going on with Hawkeye? Yes. Have I plotted out what her D&D character might look like? YEP! She's a paladin :P I also believe if you examined her character through a queer lens, you'd find a trans man rather than a queer woman, but your mileage may vary.

AndrAIa (ReBoot) -- Yeah, yeah, yeah it's a cartoon, but bb 11 year old me was absolutely OBSESSED with this show, and AndrAIa was a big part of that. Look at her little capital AI in her name! 😭 25 years before corporate greed ruined the acronym, that AI was adorable!! And very clever given that she was an NPC game sprite who decided to leave her game and live as a real sprite. Her whole existence and vibe was very formative for me. I love her.

Harley Davidson Cooper (Guiding Light) -- Yes, her full name is absolutely necessary, even if no one ever used it. So, I was SUUUCH a CBS soap girlie back around 2000-2002, and I've been very nostalgic for it in the last few years. As the World Turns was my primary soap, so I figured one of my regular blorbos like Rose or Katie or Romana would be the one I miss most. But then Harley's actress Beth Ehlers popped up during my Law & Order SVU watch and I LOST MY MIND!!!!! Her face and voice instantly filled my soul with joy! So Harley gets the trophy. Even if she didn't have any stand out storylines during that era (apart from her and Gus being Very Hot), she was always my favorite character from GL.

Piper Halliwell (Charmed, original flavor) -- Technically, I had Turtle Wexler from the book The Westing Game on this list instead because I didn't remember Piper until after I'd drafted all ten slots :S But listen! That's because health problems have made my memory shitty! It is not because Piper doesn't stand up to the test of time! Ugh, I remember the show never treated Piper like she was the fan favorite and I hadn't discovered online TV forums yet so I felt so alone in my love for her :( But being on lesbian millennial Tumblr makes 14 year old me feel SO validated, because Piper is the only Halliwell sister anyone ever talks about on my dash. 💜 Congrats everyone. We were right all along.

Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls) -- Yeeeaaah.. we've hit the Big Three that I alluded to earlier. I was very, very gay for Lorelai (and Lauren Graham) in the latter half of my high school years, and I did not realize that until way later. She taught me how to be quicker with the comebacks and, more importantly, to marry someone who could cook instead of learning how to feed yourself. And I really took that to heart. My spouse is a fantastic cook! :) (Don't get scared for me guys! I do actually know how to cook three (3) entire meals now that I'm in my 30s :P lol)

Rose Tyler/Billie Piper (Doctor Who) -- I will list the actress here, because my love for Rose Tyler is probably split 50/50 between the character herself, and Billie Piper's charisma and hotness. She's gorgeous!!! 😍 That seemingly common question in the mid-2000s of 'Who would you kiss if you were gay?' always left me stumped until New Who aired in the states. Then, I was finally able to answer 'Billie Piper' and actually mean it. Because that's what you were supposed to do with that question, right? Take it seriously and not treat it like hyperbole? #totallystraightbehavior #swearsies Alas, it would take me two more girl crushes and interacting with genuine queer women in a femslash fandom before I recognized my feelings for what they were. But Rose was still a very significant step forward!

Myka Bering (Warehouse 13) -- MY GIRL!!! My Lady of all Ladies. I would die for her. I would kill for her. I would kneel and raise my sword and swear fealty to her. MYKA FUCKING BERING, EVERYONE! 👏👏👏👏 Watching her fall in love with Helena made me realize all my girl crushes were real crushes and that I was bi. Bless her. Bless Joanne Kelly. And bless the incomparable Bering and Wells fandom. *kisses everyone on the mouth, sloppy style*

Erin Gilbert (Ghostbusters 2016) -- Look, I know that I can never get away with pretending that Erin isn't my favorite ghostbuster, but I do usually think about her in the context of her relationships! Like 8 times out of 10, when I'm headcanoning, I'm thinking about her and Abby's relationship. And if I'm not, there's a not-so-small chance I'm thinking about her relationship with Patty instead. (RIP to Holtzy who I virtually never think about outside of the foursome. Her fanbase just ruined it for me :S) But um... yeah, Erin's my favorite. I even have Pokemon parties picked out for them all. And their daemons.

Eve (Lucifer) -- Okay so I know it hasn't even been a full high school (aka 4 years) since I met Eve, so I can't really say she's someone I'll stay obsessed with forever and ever and ever. You probably don't even believe I'm obsessed with her at all given the bulk of my Lucifer talk is about Lucifer/Chloe -- but that's just cause that's where the storyline is! Trust me, Eve is my favorite character, even if she was in the least amount of episodes (RIP me). When she pops up in the background of a Deckerstar fanvid, I'm instantly distracted and have to marathon every Maze/Eve vid in my collection. I decided to use a fandom name in the first time, like, ever, when creating my Lucifer-specific Twitter account and I made it Eve themed. She's my favorite, bestest girl who can do no wrong and -- YES! -- that does include accidentally-definitely-on-purpose starting a demon mutiny that led to newborn Charlie's kidnapping. She had never been dumped before okay? First woman to ever exist and she'd never been dumped. Did you handle your first break-up well? No! I didn't think so :P

Alex Cabot (Law & Order: SVU) -- I've only know Cabot for four months, but if anything happens to her, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself -- OH WAIT! She already left me. 😭 I am in S17 now, which is like ten seasons past when she went into witness protection and barely ever came back, yet there's not an episode that goes by where I don't think about her. So, I say that counts as longevity and am sticking her on the list. This woman has Issues. Plural. Period. She makes me say shit like 'I want to dig into her brain with a fork' and it's actually an accurate metaphor for what I feel. I love her your honor... now who can I sue for emotional damages?

#cassiopeiasara #ask #about me #long post #because I am incapable of making a list without describing 50 percent of my thoughts #(yes that wall of text above is only half of my thoughts on the matter)#:S #now I have to figure out who hasn't received this ask game yet and send it to them...

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nightmarecountry · 6 months

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Severen’s expression remains neutral, however, a thought slips into the space between them. It does not seem knowingly projected, yet it is vibrant enough to an active contemplation.

One hand is wrapped tightly around the white one’s throat, fingers pressing in tight under its jaw, asserting control. Its rightmost mouth leaks for him, a thumb dragged over black stained ivory, licked clean by his eager tongue; which soon seeks the source. No mind to what he is doing, but that he wants the whole of it, scrounging the twisted inner depths of the nightmare for more of the toxic stuff leaking past his lips. As bone meets his probing muscle—

Severen blinks hard, the image becoming blurry and dissipating. He didn’t realize how deeply he had slipped into the daydream, or why, but when he swallows there is blood in his mouth from having pierced his own tongue with his teeth. He seems unaware as to what has been shared.

[I stole someone else’s meme for you]

Even with so few barriers between them, it's rare that the Corinthian is dragged so inexorably into his beast's mind; pulled in as if on strings, drawn like a hound to the scent of his own blood in a daydreaming mind. He goes willingly into the flow of Severen's imagination, curious, but keenly aware of just how strong the current it is. How a lesser dream could drown in it, if it were careless enough.

It isn't the candle-flicker images that pass through any mind, there and gone in moments, or only ever half-formed and vague. This is vivid, fully realised. Severen is losing himself to a fantasy he doesn't even seem to fully realise he's having--and the Corinthian is thrilled to find itself (themselves) at the very centre of it. Watching Severen in the Waking, he can see-smell-taste his hunger. Feels himself laugh, very softly, under his breath at the first burst of blood in Severen's mouth, grinning his mirror-shard grin. You don't even know, do you.

Casually, as if brushing away an eyelash, the Corinthian swipes away the slick moisture starting to dribble down the right side of its face. Severen blinks out of his daydream and his nightmare feels more solidly with him again, less distracted by their shared mindspace, though it feels a lot like someone cutting all the lights right as a real show is about to begin.

"Hey," he calls, not loudly. There's no need for it, even with the noise around them. He feels like he's burning, nearly jittery with--something. A kind of hungering, delighted feeling that has all of his senses focusing on Severen alone, ignoring the temptations of lesser meat around them. "You wanna get out of here?"

#ic.#v: needs must when the devil drives #savagecowboy #spicy text for ts #[ this might as well happen. ]#[ corinth salivating wildly: hey. for no reason in particular. let's get out of here and eat each other ]#[ also ft. corinth having 0 personal frame of reference for affection i guess ]

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faroreswinds · 2 years

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Japanese anon. I will be back home after tomorrow, but I have time to say a few remarks:

There is more backlash on places like twitter, 2ch (garbage place, do not touch it), and famitsu where fans of musou hopes are accusing haters of the game to be fujoshi, dream fans, and having bad taste. Fans of original three houses hit back by saying their accusers are edelgard fans (which to my lack of surprise is true). There are now lines being drawn where edelgard fans are defending the game from its critics, and it is getting ugly, especially since pro musou fans are now directly attacking by supporting shez against byleth, and it has made many people very angry. I am surprised yet not surprised to see that people who like the story are taking very sexist approaches to their critics (one person said, “you’re only mad because a rotten girl hater is the writer and you only care for your ships (cp abbreviation) instead of a good story” which started a big argument in the comment thread)

Pro hopes has been working hard on the defensive though especially because edelgard lost again in the heroes tournament votes. Lol. I can’t say that doesn’t make me happy. People are ready to burn her now for the favoritism she got in hopes and the favoritism she keeps getting in feh. A friend of mine who hates her with a passion closed the voting round with a team of summer houses units and she said “beres and rhea send their regards” and we had a laugh. Someone is circulating a meme of edelgart as thanos in the scene where she and he get their heads cut off.

To renisfan, yes, it’s awful. The younger generation i know is appalled with the message. Everyone says “someone from nippon kaigi was a writing consultant” or “abe’s ghost wrote this” . A people worry that this is sending an impression of japan becoming more conservative to foreign fans. And that the reputation of fire emblem has been tarnished.

I hope your trip is going very well, anon.

I am surprised yet not surprised to see that people who like the story are taking very sexist approaches to their critics (one person said, “you’re only mad because a rotten girl hater is the writer and you only care for your ships (cp abbreviation) instead of a good story” which started a big argument in the comment thread)

Sounds like a lot of what I have seen in English discourse too. "You're just mad because [insert something ridiculous here]"

I woke up this morning to see that Edelgard had lost yet again and had a laugh myself. Water is wet. Edelgard loses a VG.

But maaaaannnn, some of those means are really something else, huh? I did have a peek on the feh reddit page and r/edelgard and there is some major salt. Some people are coping with "she's just too popular, and the largest army always loses". I think they forgot that Rhea actually had the largest army against Edelgard and she won her round just fine.

@renisfan

abe’s ghost wrote this

Oooooofffff, that's a rough one right there. I feel bad for the man cause.... I don't like anyone being killed like that, but this is also kinda funny, ngl.

A people worry that this is sending an impression of japan becoming more conservative to foreign fans.

I can confirm that yes.... there are some who think this. Unfortunately. Sorry, Japanese fans, but I have seen this sentiment around....

And that the reputation of fire emblem has been tarnished.

I don't think it's too far gone yet. Most fans think Houses is a step up from Fates, and that the musou is just a spin off and nothing to worry about.

There is some sentiment here and there but most feel that the next FE could be even better. Or at least, that is what I have seen.

#Three Hopes #anon asks

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immobiliter · 10 months

Text

@shadowcovcn sent a meme: 14, 15, 18

14. Who is an author that inspires you?

oh rip you're asking the jaded english graduate this question lmao. so I'm not sure if I could pinpoint an author who particularly inspires me nowadays — there are obviously authors that I love reading, but I haven't really read fiction widely since graduating and most of the fiction I have drawn inspiration from over the past decade or so is by classic authors. plus storytelling as a medium isn't just restricted to books and I could give you countless examples of other forms of storytelling that inspire me on a daily basis. but speaking strictly about the printed word, big shout out to Jacqueline Wilson books for being a staple of my childhood (i doubt anyone outside of the UK will know of her lmao), and Andrea Levy is also suuuuch a favourite writer of mine. and then a mandatory shout out to Oscar Wilde who inspired the majority of my tagging system on this blog, and is also one of my all-time favourite writers.

15. What do you look for in a rp partner?

someone who's chill lmaooo. that's honestly the biggest thing for me and I think I'm lucky because I feel like I'm a pretty good judge of character? I have a sceptical disposition and I'm strong-minded, so I tend to be rather picky of who I reach out to and befriend on this site and for the most part I haven't really steered wrong. if you're gonna be my rp partner you just have to be OK with the fact that I might not reply to your thread for two years, and that if you pressure me I will either make it three years or I'll drop the thread altogether. also, that I might not talk to you everyday — I don't even talk to some of my rl best friends everyday, I much prefer low-pressure friendships where we can check in every few weeks or months and pick up like no time has passed at all. I just don't have the time or inclination for the crap that comes along with this hellsite anymore, so I stick to people I already know and people who pass my strict vibe test lmao.

passion is also always something I look for too, on a more positive note. I enjoy seeing people passionate about their muses on my dash, it's infectious and there have been so many occasions where I have voluntarily sought out the source material and watched a show/read a book/played a video game solely because a friend of mine or someone on my dash has been talking so passionately about them/it. like it doesn't even matter if I don't write in the same fandom as you, if you get me passionate about a character or universe through the dash powers of osmosis, I'll make an AU especially for you lmao.

18. Are there any AU’s you’d like to explore but haven’t had the chance to yet?

oof this is such a good question and such a tricky one to answer on a multi where I have muses that encompass multiple genres and also where I'm really not shy about writing crossovers lmao. is it a cop-out to just say that I love group verses? not even just verses that involve several people, but creating a group verse with one other person where we just throw different muses from our multis into it like a melting pot? writing two characters against each other is fun of course, but there's something even more fun about throwing ten muses into the same verse and figuring out everyone's connection to each other. or starting with two muses and then building it up slowly until you have a google doc with a dozen muses and a flow chart explaining how they all connect lmao. it just enriches your writing environment and gives you so much more stimuli to play with when you reply to a meme or write a thread. instead of coming up with npcs on the fly, you can bring another muse in to help figure out a plot point or help flesh out an aspect of a relationship or dynamic without it being superficial because you're not just creating a surface-level character to be referenced in one or two replies, but another living, breathing muse with their own life and perspective. I just like everything feeling connected, where every thread has a ripple effect on all of the other future ones you write. also, as someone who likes to push themselves when it comes to writing, it's a wonderful challenge to write three muses within the same thread, I love it.

#shadowcovcn #* / be yourself. everyone else is taken ( ooc. )

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jadedresearcher · 2 years

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Hi.

So I found your lounge, both of them, up north. Peaceful place. Whole lotta nothing. A nice respite from the music and bustling backdrop and pretending (because even the Truth is just you speaking through a filter).

You speak your own truth and the truth (not Truth) of the sim, and in it I see a faint glimmer of the world's truth. Fiction may be more exciting, but truth is more compelling. It's brave of you to stop pretending for a little while, be honest (although it does make it easier that you can't guarantee that anyone will see it. I know this very well.)

Speaking of which. I can't guarantee you'll see this just like you couldn't guarantee anyone would see either lounge. In different ways, though. You didn't know I would exist to find your rooms, while I don't know if this hellsite will gobble up this message or not. Still, isn't language just billions of people, shouting into a void, wishing they'd be heard?

The Truth is a lonely thing. I pity it. I wish it could find a friend. (ALThough maybe it has already? I don't know for sure yet. I'm doing a breadth-first search.)

And of course I'm dancing all around the subject. I don't have a train of thought, much less one with a consistent direction. Plus, re. the previous sentence, I like slipping little cryptic BS messages into my walls of text. And I did it again. Heck. I swear it wasn't even on purpose that time. You know what, screw it. I can't not do it. You enjoy it, I enjoy it. I'll be a class act (when am I ever not?). Made me no never mind. (Gotta love a good double negative.)

Regardless. For these next three paragraphs at least (I've had to edit that "these next three paragraphs" bit twice now cuz I can't stop tangent-ing) I'll try to be wholly truthful. Not easy for me. I'm bad at feelings, much less impressing them on others. Probably why I enjoy memes so much. Too much? Probably. At their best they are a beautiful distillment of a single concept given solid form, one that may otherwise be too hard to articulate. Why are things hard to articulate for me? They shouldn't, by virtue of me being a writer (by hobby if not by trade). But hey, maybe I'm drawn to writing because it's so challenging and different for me. It's a mental exercise. My Brain Is Big And Smart

Finally to the point. I admire what you've done. I admire what you're doing. I deeply enjoy all that FarragoFiction has to offer and have spent way more time on LORAS (both editions) than is probably good for me. ZampanioSim fascinates me. The things you can do pile never stops from getting larger. Puzzles fascinate me. They force me to stretch my logic. Enough about me. This is about you... really, this is about the minor intersection that our brains have made. Something something Vulcan Mind Meld. (That'd be an epic fraymotif.)

I guess, ultimately, what I'm trying to say is: Thanks. Thanks for making these awesome not-quite-games. Thanks for being around and keeping up your happy face as best you can. Thanks for taking care of your own mind before anything else: thanks for learning when to step back, for doing things that you love. You shine through every bit of code you write (no matter how many masking layers you may throw on top), and those bits of code show someone struggling with honesty and loneliness and responsibility, and those bits of code show someone with a fascinating brain who loves puzzles and the people who solve them. And thanks for continuing to love your old work, even after the passion has faded, even if you may so much as dislike it now, because love is seeing the worst parts of someone or something else, harming them without even meaning it, but still choosing them over anything else. To love is to drill a hole into the hull of a ship and to patch it up even stronger as you both drown rather than abandon the craft. To love is to destroy and to rebuild. You love your work, and I can only hope you love yourself. Because you deserve yourself. (In a good way or a bad one. You decide.)

You don't have to answer if you don't want. I tried to rip off Zampanio's skin, and it might sting. (If you even read this.) I'm sorry if so, and I'm sorry for being too long-winded (although, if you think that, you might want to take the plank out of your own eye, buddy). And I'm sorry for apologizing. And I'm sorry for that one. And... let's not recurse too much here. I don't want this to be another spiral.

Thanks for being theoretical.

And thank YOU for being a theoretical Audience :) :) :) And for the top tier Gigglesnort.

I'm glad the Hellsite DIDN'T gobble the message up, because these little messages in a bottle do truly feed me.

And you're right, that the very hidden nature of the words helps them be more Truthful than perhaps they'd otherwise be? I've been doing a lot of hiding lately, and only recently starting to pop my head back up to look around.

It also helps that, well, you know the whole "No Restraint" part of being a Waste? I tend to create on a whim, forget I did it and then watch in bafflement as people start reporting in their progress in puzzles I no longer even remember. Honestly? Zampanio is me leaning into that vibe. POINT is, its also easier to be Truthful when you know you'll forget you did it.

I don't even have that bad a problem with memory, its just when you create a purposefully confusing labyrinth of unending content, by its very nature things will blur together.

"And thanks for continuing to love your old work, even after the passion has faded" Interestingly, today I had the rare pleasure to talk to a Homestuck fan. Rare because I've removed myself from so many of those spaces? Pleasure because it was a reminder of what I'd loved about all that (god homestucks music is just so banging) (and the fandom in general is just such a creative space). And because they were so delighted with getting to see Wigglersim for the first time, when we started trading stories of our experience with the fandom. And I felt this sort of abashed pride? I know I've grown as a creator so much since making those things. I know I'd do them differently today? But yeah, I am so glad past me had that fun, learned those lessons. To say nothing of even further Past Me faking their own death on accident.

Thanks for intersecting your brain with mine, both now, and by trying to figure out just what Past Me was up to. Creation is an act of communication, at least for me, and I'm glad every time I find out I'm not just communicating with Future Me.

#zampanio #zampaniosim #True JR

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v-arbellanaris · 1 year

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Hi! As requested, some (very) random stuff. I am sorry you're having a bad day/week. February can go suck an egg in my humble opinion.

Meta: I was 0 days old when I found out that according to DA lore, there are no dwarven slaves in Tevinter. (because of the importance of the lyrium trade) I was refreshing my memory about Dwarven Ambasadoria and it says so on the wiki but without a source where that comes from. It seems unlikely to me, but ok.

Comic thing (Those who speak) that bothers me mighty: So, in the game, Isabela frees the slaves on the ship she is escorting. Because she agreed to do it without knowing that the cargo were living people. She lets them go. The guy is pissed mighty and that is why she agreed to steal the tome of Koslun in return for him. It's an entire plot! And in the comic... She kills the slaves. What the fuck Bioware.

Character: Varric's necklace has this running joke about Cock-ring necklace Ken. But as much as the makers of the doll didn't have a clue where that fashion came from, maybe Varric too wanted to be flashy! But ended up with a cock ring around his neck?

I was relistening DA2 banter and Varric has a dialogue with Choir boy about Bianca's cocking ring. And I kinda had a thought. What if the necklace is actually a spare part that he kept from the time Bianca made Bianca the crossbow?

Also, dunno why but everyone everywhere claims Varric is ENTP type, but when I sat down and checked it turns out he is very much an ENFP. It matters to me for some weird reason.

Also, Isabela/Varric banter is peak aromantic/asexual humor. I believe that Varric is the embodiment of (insert the no throw! dog meme) No sex! Only sexy!

In the comic (the one where they have a Fade trip) Varric in a dream sequence looks more like a human than a dwarf. (the way he is drawn) until he leaves the "vision" and looks like a dwarf again. Is this like? Intentional? Just a weird drawing thing when someone couldn't exactly figure out proportions?

The new comic (if we are speaking of comics and the way dwarfs are being drawn) has some dwarven ladies. People like the new Varric design. (good for them) I am crying over Dwarven ladies being done dirty.

Dark secret: I am low-key planning to ignore Dragon Age 4. People are hyped. I am like? Annoyed? I have my own canon, whole-ass Inquisition re-write. I don't care.

Also, I never played any dragon age game. I pirated it sure. I managed to create a few characters in a creator but never played further than the opening sequence. My laptop would burn to a crisp. It's really that shitty. I literary watched so many yt walkthroughs and read through the wiki. I often forget that is a weird and not-normal way to enjoy video games.

Another secret: I made a Cadash OC, I had them for so many years. And they are central to the plot of my entire personal Dragon Age Universe. The entire plot of Origins. Appear in DA2 events briefly. Then entire Inquisition. It's an overkill how important I made that character. But it's too late now! I wish I had enough willpower to record it somewhere (drawings, writing) just for the sake of it. Yet I am afraid of how weird it is. Funny, no?

Hope you feel a little bit better sometime soon.

I have no puns. I have a funny video in this trying time I sometimes watch to feel better: https://www.tumblr.com/titkoks/644666319075229696/obsessed-with-the-line-if-i-can-continue-to-be-a?source=share

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER!!!! february does suck!!! march is not looking that much better atm but here's to hoping....

seriously?! i mean i suppose that makes sense but it also doesn't make sense considering y'know. the casteless? wait. what if they (the dwarves from other castes) wouldn't consider that enslavement of their people... that would be really fucked up but on brand for orzammar social politics huh

i mean, having isabela - a black woman - be a slaver in the worst place is already an extremely questionable writing decision. i also think it was a shit writing decision but the trail of logic seems to be along the lines of like: isabela gets in debt with the felicisima armada -> gets involved in slave trafficking -> gets cornered by the orlesians in the venefication sea -> slaves were killed (to allow the ship to maneuver since it's implied the ship was slow because the cargo holds were too packed) -> isabela vows never to traffic slaves again -> presumably the next time she's asked to do it anyway, she sets the slaves free? which is still not great. bioware's sliding scale of when slavery is or isnt acceptable is really... hm.

this is making me UNWELL. for so many reasons.

YEAH WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THAT??? what did they do to evka and harding?!?!?!

Dark secret: I am low-key planning to ignore Dragon Age 4. People are hyped. I am like? Annoyed? I have my own canon, whole-ass Inquisition re-write. I don't care.

yeah i'm checking it out for the vibes but im still digging around in origins and da2 for content so i hope that tells you where MY mind is at

EXCUSE ME MGDFKGJDKSGJKDFGJ this is SO funny you are the ONLY VALID person in the entire fandom and i love you

#asks #IM WHEEZING yes king don't give bw any money MDKJF love that for you actually

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thebisexualdogdad · 2 years

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I'm so happy you're writing for Kate bishop! bc 95% (if not more) are going to be female Reader and that annoys me..

Anyways, I would request a Enemies to Lovers sort of thing with Kate. Like, Reader belongs to any gang or got hired to go after her and Clint and at one point Kate has to fight Reader in hand to hand combat and has a knife. She tells him to not come closer or she'll hurt him but he just smirks and steps soo close to her while Kate gets nervous and trys to think of any way out

Sorry if this is too long. Thank you :)

Kate Bishop x Male!reader

● you're a member of the silver snake syndicate and you were ordered by your boss to take out the new hawkeye in town

● after word spread from the tracksuits that Clint Barton had passed his mantle down to a girl named Kate Bishop every gang in New York wanted to be the one who could say they killed the young superhero

● especially after hearing how she nearly took down the legendary Kingpin

● you had a couple run ins with her just to test the waters

● she may be a rookie but she had skills

● you liked the way she fought

● and it didn't hurt that she was so attractive too

● sure you were supposed to kill her but that didn't mean you couldn't have some fun while doing so

● the leader of your syndicate questioned why the hawkeye wasn't dead yet after a couple weeks

● "the job will get done but you know I like the chase"

● "fine, you can make her squirm but don't let someone get to her first or else it'll be your head"

● Kate happened to be quite interested in you too

● and she may or may not have used her mom's company computer to find all your personal information including your social media

● Yelena was busy on a job in Europe so she called Peter in to give her a helping hand

● "he has a dog too, Lucky could have a friend"

● "you remember he's trying to kill you right?"

● "I know but have you seen how hot he is?"

● one night you attack Kate and Peter while they are surveying a warehouse your syndicate uses to store illegal firearms

● Peter is out cold and you and Kate are in the middle of a fisticuffs in the alleyway

● her bow is nowhere to be seen as it was lost in the fight and you have your knife drawn

● "don't come any closer!" She yells at you

● you don't listen of course and keep approaching her

● soon you're face to face and Kate gulps

● "I don't want to kill you Kate… at least not yet… you intrigue me"

● "I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that"

● "because you feel the spark too don't you"

● Kate's face is flushed, Clint would be so mad if he saw her right now being all hot and bothered because of a cute boy who was ordered to kill her

● you lean in and kiss her taking Kate by surprise

● when you take a step back Kate is literally the "the woman was too stunned to speak" meme

● Kate hears Peter groaning and when she turns back to you you're gone

● "please tell me I'm hallucinating because of a concussion and did not just see you kiss him" Peter mutters trying to get to his feet

● Kate helps him up and still can't find any words until she spots her bow peaking out from under a garbage can

● "Oh look my bow"

● "don't change the subject Kate, I will call Clint"

● "no! I promise I won't date the super hot gang member"

● whether Kate was actually going to keep that promise not even she knew

#hawkeye imagine #marvel imagine #kate bishop imagine #kate bishop x reader #x male reader #headcanons

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saksukei · 3 years

Text

ushijima tattoo artist au

other; boyfriend ushijima | masterlist

ushijima doesn't know how he got into this line of work but he knows he loves it for sure,,,, sitting there, hearing the buzz of the tattoo machine,,, as he traces over a tattoo, faint music playing in the background

ushijima has plenty of tattoos because he used to practice on himself,,,

but his favorite tattoo is the one that's on his wrist, saying, “your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing,” it's by fyodor dostoevsky

he loves it because it reminds him of his troubled past,,,, how he was out on the streets for years,,, never having enough to eat,,, suffering,,, learning from the wrongs because he never had someone to teach him or to love him through his mistakes,,, he was alone through all of that

yes, he knows it's been tough

but now it's all in the past,,, he's happy where he is

especially when he goes back to his apartment,,, cooks dinner, waters his small plants and plays with his dog who is named ‘tori’

but when he sees you

he's thrown off

now ushijima has seen his portion of beautiful people, but you?

you were something else,,,

he stops for a minute– to take your sight in

you're a different type of beautiful,,, the one where he just knows you’re a good person,,, you radiate warmth and a sense of belonging, something ushijima has never had.

the receptionist pats his shoulder to catch his attention,,,,

the receptionist says you're here to get a tattoo and from the looks of it, ushijima thinks it's your first

a friend of yours recommended ushijima and you liked ushijima’s work so you wanted to get a tattoo from him

“do you have anything in mind?” he asks you, his chocolate brown eyes meeting yours

“i want something different but I'm too indecisive–” you answered, honestly and he nodded

“follow me,” he says. “i have a bunch of sketches you can select from.”

now to you, ushijima seems well experienced with tattooing and he seems rather cold hearted with how he looks.

Olive green hair, wearing black skinny ripped jeans with a black shirt of 3/4 sleeves. The outline of his muscles tell you he's well built. Tattoos till his wrists.

you followed him back to his workspace

you skim through the patterns on the walls and there's only one that catches your eye,,, it's a black dragon tattoo and it's quite large, too large from what you had in mind

but it looked awesome

“i want this one,” you tell him.

ushijima is stunned when you tell him what you've picked,,,, not because you seem like a demure person but because ushijima was saving that tattoo for someone

more specifically

a soulmate

ushijima has that exact tattoo on his lower thigh, going to his knee and even lower,,,,, his is in black

and the one you've chosen is also in black,,,,

out of all the customers that come in, none of them had even bat an eye to that tattoo since it's in a corner,,,

“that’s reserved–” he tells you.

A part of him feels horrible,,, especially when he sees you're taken aback

“o-oh,, well– um I can't really decide which one to pick, so I guess I'll just try to find something and come over when I do.”

now ushijima knows two things for sure,

once you're drawn to a tattoo, you can't get it out of your mind. He knows that because his best friend tendou had been begging him to tattoo a very stupid meme on tendou himself,,, and tendou didn't shut up about it until it was complete

secondly, you might never come back and he's not ready to see you leave, just yet

“s’ fine,” he says. “i’ll do it– but it is quite big for a first tattoo, so are you sure?”

“it’s not my first,” you smile, as you lift up your sleeve, showing him a rather large pattern of roses covering half of your arm

He nods as he starts looking for a pen to fill out the paperwork

“but are you sure you want to do it? You said it was reserved and I don't want to be a bother–” you tell him.

He thinks for a moment and you can tell he's unsure, but really, ushijima has made up his mind

“yes it's fine– but I would like you to know something,” he says.

He knows he has to tell you that he has the same tattoo. It would eat him alive if he didn't. He didn't want anyone getting a wrong idea, more specifically, he didn't want you to think something bad about him.

“i have the same tattoo,” he explains, straightforwardly, waiting for a response from you.

Like any sane person, you should refuse. And of course, you will refuse. Why would you want the same tattoo as him?

You're thinking

But ushijima knows his heart will be crushed if you say no because he feels something towards you. He doesn't know what it is. Maybe his curiosity is getting the best of him or maybe, fate is a playing some sick joke on him because he knows he can't have you

ushijima doesn't consider himself that lucky yet

“i want it,” you say with a reassuring smile. “its really cool, but if you don't want to do it– then I understand.”

so who cares if it was for a soulmate? you're just going to be two people who have the same tattoo. That's that.

“i will do it.”

with shaky hands, he fills out the paperwork and asks you to sign

you want the tattoo on your back

and so he starts with the process

the only thing he's thinking about is how lucky your significant other is or will be for being able to see this tattoo every day, or just for seeing you in general

you surprisingly didn't talk a lot during the tattoo process,,,,

he finds you scrolling aimlessly through Instagram,,, holding back a smile as he sees you comment about some anime

he catches you moving your head along to his playlist, so he plays it a bit louder,,, and when you ask him the name of the songs,,, he knows that he's damned

it takes him almost 3 days to complete and he runs you through the process of taking care of it

you thank him and say you'll come after two weeks, to show him the healed tattoo

and you do

two weeks later, he sees the same dragon tattoo on your back, it's turned out brilliant like all of his work and you're thanking him, saying how you'll get more tattoos from him

but he doesn't just want to be your tattoo artist

he wants to be a lot more

“can I see your dragon tattoo?” you ask and he's shocked, cause to be honest, no one has had the balls to ask him that.

he's also thankful he wore shorts

he nods as he sits down,, slightly pulling up his shorts to show the tattoo,,,

and he looks at you for a reaction

“you’re a brilliant tattoo artist, gosh!” you tell him. “may I see your other tattoos too, if it's okay?”

he nods once again, as he puts his arms forward to show you

and then you see the quote, the one by fyodor dostoevsky,,,,

“that’s one hell of a quote” you tell him and ushijima knows if fate is fucking with him, it's doing it really well

“thank you” he replies. “its my favorite.”

“really?” you ask, a confused expression on your face.

“why are you confused?”

“n-no it just seemed like the dragon tattoo was your favorite,” you tell him shyly, as you look down.

he lifts up your jaw, with his calloused finger tip, his eyes meeting yours once again.

“it might just be.”

#ushijima hcs #ushijima x reader #ushijima headcanons #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima imagine #ushijima fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs

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wickedgamesoyaoya · 3 years

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Captain I see you have requests open🥺🥺🥺🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 if you don't mind can pretty please have Akaashi angsty to fluff if you can if not then only fluffy🥺🥺🥺🥺 it can be smau or written which youd like and can it please be the 15❤️❤️❤️❤️

The venomous wavelengths shooting through the high school hallways did not begin quietly. The sound erupted without warning the second the status of your relationship with Akaashi Keiji was revealed. Although, no one was truly interested in you, the problem was who you had chosen as your partner. The setter for Fukurodani’s boy’s volleyball club was titled a prince of the academy, sharing that title with the captain, Bokuto Koutarou. But the titles thrust upon individuals by the student body did not hold much weight to someone who had moved to the school recently. And it would hold no weight to someone who merely wanted a friend, but accidentally discovered much more.

“Hey, y/n. You okay?” Concern decorated Akaashi’s delicate features, a sight that had the power to bathe your heart in temporary relief. If only you could bottle the properties of his affection for later use, that way you could survive the emotional hits that were awaiting you once he left for class.

“I’m fine.” The response has become automatic at this point, requiring little mental process. It had been two weeks since you had acquired a target on your back. And Akaashi was blissfully unaware of the whispers that were casually transported from one mouth to the other. The commentary was never meant for his ears. Every time he emerged from the crowd to join your side, the conductor would silence the orchestra, with each player obediently complying.

You should have told him about it; you knew that. But instead you chose to battle the storm on your own. Akaashi had other matters on his mind – why would you add to the numerous anxieties that fogged the space around him?

“I’ll see you after class, okay?” The limited pain relief his presence granted you was used to present a confident smile. As always, you would ease his worries, just the way he eased yours.

“Okay. But if something happens, or you need me… Text me.” The way he scanned your face flooded your stomach with nausea, yet the smile remained plastered, unwavering.

You would be his courage; you would be his strength. You would deal with the worst that was thrown at you. And you would show them all that you were enough, even if they didn’t deserve to find out.

While the insecurity may have begun small, not much larger than a single droplet, it quickly morphed. The emotion contaminated more and more, until your entire body was compromised. Things would have been easier if you had a friend, someone to confide in. Someone you could lower your fists around. It also did not help that Akaashi continued his inquiry into your mental state. As more time went on, it became harder and harder to swallow the bitter words. Afraid to taint him with the blood of your words, you continuously shook off his questions, smiling to conceal the substance inside of your mouth.

While the goal stitched into your armour was commendable, it was equally foolish. And Konoha was the first one to pierce through the shield you had adorned.

“You don’t have any friends here outside of us, do you?” The male was drenched in sweat from practice, yet instead of joining the others in the showers, he decided to provide you company as you waited for Akaashi.

“Are you trying to insult me?” Raising an eyebrow, you shifted your weight against the doorframe. Konoha was one of the few third years who made a considerable effort to speak with you, and you appreciated it.

“No. It was an observation from a worried friend.” He studied your change in posture, toying with the volleyball in his grasp. Although, he almost dropped it when he caught the alarm striking your features.

“I’m okay.” You tried to package it with a sturdy tone, but the wing spiker didn’t seem to buy it.

“Yeah… I’m not Akaashi. I’m not gonna believe that.” The answer was offered after he stole a glance over his shoulder. “You know I hear them too? The things they’re saying.”

“So, let them say it. If people want to talk shit, they can. It’s how high schoolers are.” A weak shrug brought your shoulders to raise and drop.

“True enough, but that doesn’t mean you need to deal with it alone.” The additional emphasis on alone made you twitch involuntarily. Weakness was not to be shown, and yet you were unable to maintain your façade around him.

“He’s already got so many things to worry about. I’m not going to add to that.” Casting your attention aside, you chewed on the inside of your cheek.

“Alright, so lay them on me instead. If you can’t rely on your boyfriend, at least rely on a friend.” Releasing the volleyball in a fluid movement, a grin pushed at the corners of his mouth.

“That sounds nice.” Puzzled, the reply escaped your lips softly.

“Cool. We’ll talk later kid.” Proceeding a step away, he gave you a thumbs up motion before sprinting off the court.

And for the first time in awhile you remembered that your armour was not skin, you could remove it, and sometimes you should.

The conversation that occurred at the gym led to a confession of the feelings you were suffocating in. Upon hearing the cruel reality you were the protagonist of, Konoha vowed to help you. For the following weeks, if Akaashi was not present to subdue the pain, Konoha was. His terrible comedy was enough to distract you from the poison your fellow students were trying to inject you with. And when both boys were unavailable, the wing spiker would ask his other friends to accompany you.

It was a start. You were finally able to begin to collect the shattered pieces of your soul, all without bleeding in the process.

However, withholding information from your boyfriend would not come without a cost. And with your changing relationship with Konoha, a new wave of uncertainty had been cast onto your relationship.

“Have fun at practice, Keiji.” Extending your toes, you pressed your lips against Akaashi’s in a fleeting kiss. But when you settled back onto the ground, the setter wrapped his arms around your waist, keeping you mounted into the spot ahead of him. “Hm? Is something wrong?”

“Do you still have feelings for me, y/n?” The question visibly pained him, the small wrinkles in his forehead illustrated his stress. But the signs of agony were replaced with relief when you stared up at him in disbelief.

“What? Of course, I do.” Planting your palms on either side of his face, your chest constricted. At first you wondered if the rumours had finally reached his ears – did he think your love wasn’t true?

“So then, why can you tell Konoha-san what is hurting you but not me?”

The question did not eliminate the strain weighing on your chest, instead the sensation increased, with guilt adding to the mix.

“Keiji, I don’t want to burden you.” It took every ounce of courage you could gather to keep you from turning into an apologetic mess.

“That’s not fair, now is it? Your feelings will never be a burden to me.” Exhaling softly, he relocated his hands to cover yours, before guiding your left palm to his lips.

“You say that but…” The warmth from his kiss soon spread across your body, dissolving the armour you were desperately clinging to.

“Won’t you let me be there for you? What if I ask very nicely?” Tilting his head, he blinked slowly and thoughtfully down at you. A tactical move really.

“…Keiji. I want you to be happy. I want to be your safe place. I want to be strong for you.” The explanation sounded like a low whine, partially stripping the seriousness behind the words.

“I want that too, y/n. Let me be your safe place.” His irises naturally were drawn to the pout registered upon your mouth, and he had to resist the urge to kiss you. “I know in the past you had to deal with everything on your own. But for the present and the future, I want to be there beside you. Your problems are now mine.”

“You know, you really are a prince.” Defeated, you shook your head then blew out a heavy sigh.

“Your prince.” A dim smile graced his mouth as he pressed his forehead against yours. Instinctively, you sought to capture his lips with yours but the emergence of another person forced you to stop.

“What’s going on here? If we’re doing a group hug, I want in!”

Upon recognizing who the voice belonged to, Akaashi quickly released your hands and whipped around to face the Ace.

“Bokuto-san wait-”

But his instructions were dismissed by the Captain, and within seconds a larger person joined your embrace, bringing the three of you onto the ground. Laughter filled the corridor as Akaashi tried to keep Bokuto from squishing you with his weight. The setter mouthed an apology, prompting you to shake your head with a smile.

Maybe this would be enough. Maybe you didn’t need the entire school to know your worth. As long as you knew it, and those you loved did… that would be enough.

A/N: My sweet baby bodyguard, I hope you liked this! I kinda put some heart into this one, idk. ;-;

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#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi x y/n #akaashi angst #akaashi imagine #akaashi x you #akaashi x reader #akaashi fanfiction

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