#GIVE ME THE PAIN

[livingstonegordo]

My vision: Eddie figured out his feelings when he was shot. He spent a year repressing them and in the aftermath of his breakdown those feelings are a part of what he talks to Frank about. With Frank, Eddie comes to terms with what they mean for him, for his sexuality, and for his relationship with Buck.

6B's domestic buddifer unit is probably totally self indulgent on Eddie's part lmao! He has no reason to say no to Chris or Buck and it'd look more suspicious if he did, anyway. And then the lightening strike. And then DO MORE. And then the excuse to dress Buck up and take him out. He looks like a deer in the headlights when Pepa begins setting him up because he's still trying to figure out how to tell Buck how he feels and he can't tell Pepa about it until Buck knows. So he goes on the dates and he makes his excuses and then Buck says "she sees me."

Buck says "she sees me" about someday he's talked to for no more than an hour. About somebody who is far more interested in what he's gone through than she is interested in who he is. About someone who- from Eddie's pov- doesnt actually see him, not at all thank you very much.

It felt like a physical slap. Like a searing flame eating his heart. But here's his answer, here's the proof: Buck doesn't see him like that. Buck doesn't see anyone but woman like that.

And so Eddie had to start admitting that it's never gonna happen, Buck is never gonna see him as an option. It's time to move on, god, he has to move on. Queue Marisol.

But now. Now Buck is dating a dude. A dude who is arguably very similar in personality to Eddie. And soo Eddie will have to think: it's not that I'm a guy. It's just me. He just doesn't like me that way.

I want Eddie hurt and miserable and bitchy and unable to tell anyone why. I want him to do a complete 180° and shut Tommy out because he can't even look at the guy that gets to kiss Buck's perfect lips. I want a buddie divorce era so that when they finally, finally come back together they build a strong foundation that never cracks or wavers. And I would prefer if Marisol and Tommy didn't get their hearts broken along the way.

#dont get me wrong- Eddie thinking he's homophobic because he's been oblivious too would be AMAZING #but I want the ANGST #I want to CRY #give me the PAIN #i want to feel my stomach DROP and my heart CRACK #buddie #Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley #911 abc #911 spec #buddie abc #buddie spec

[youregonnabeokay-kid]

what if 911 gave us a helicopter crash as a treat 🥰😇

#let them allllll get hurt #GIVE ME THE PAIN #‘oh but that would be cheesy/unrealistic’ #SO? #i still want it #911 abc #911 on abc #911 spoilers #drown the fuck out of my firefam pls

[thebumblecee]

The best Valentine’s Day gift I could ever receive will be a captive, bloody, hurting Carlos Reyes being frantically searched for by his crying, heartbroken, fiancé.

#yes I’m unhinged have you only just noticed #give me the angst #give me the pain #I want to see that boy SUFFER #I will also accept TK off the rails unhinged threatening people #cee speaks #911 lonestar #911 lone stars spoilers #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos

[ewoman]

team AOL is gonna be sad as shit lol

#cr spoilers #spoilers #they're all so down right now #love it #give me the PAIN

[fruitsyrups]

This probably isn't entirely in character but it's based on an exchange I had & I thought it would be silly with these two

#i dont think im like jake but i took a few 'which AT character are you' and i got jake twice in a row #im embracing it. and giving him my back pain. #except for him it IS because hes old. for me its because of my bad posture. #finn and jake #adventure time #jake the dog #finn the human #finn mertens #my art #goodies

[solifelessblog]

Angst in the brain, the boy miss his dad

Please reblog, don’t repost :)

#my art #toh #the owl house #toh spoilers #dadrius #toh hunter #darius deamonne #Canon refuses to give me crumbs of this two #so i filled the void with pain #oh hunter would not be happy about doll darius

[bulldagger-bait]

I've always been curious to know this about the people around me. Most people have been in severe pain, but in my experience few have had what they would say is their 10/10 experience. I guess it's just something I find fascinating, as I had my 10/10 experience quite young and I sometimes forget that not everyone has. In my opinion it changes your relationship with pain and how you engage with it afterwards. If you answered yes, feel free to elaborate on your circumstances in the tags!

(reblog for a bigger sample size etc)

#I was 13 and mine was after spinal fusion surgery for scoliosis. T6-L4 fusion and when i woke up in spinal shock it was agonising pain #they had to give me ketamine before the pain died down and even then it was only 9/10 #i was on a fentanyl drip for a few days afterwards and ever 5mins and 50sec id be dosing myself #my dad would take over my button while i was sleeping and set a timer on his watch to push it at those intervals #it was the only way i could rest as without it id wake up in blinding pain #definitely the hardest experience of my life. sometimes i forget that i went through that and came out the other side. #polls #chronic pain #disability #spoonie #cripple punk #cripplepunk #the tags ive chosen kinda skew the balance in favour of the yes but idk what else to tag it with. #it would be interesting to see if other disabled people have also had a 10/10 and how common that is

[yearning-gay]

this is my love letter to doms who get off on hurting their subs, that shit's hot you're hot and not evil nor fucked up for having a thing for that stuff i love you and you can hurt my pussy any time btw

#jack.txt #giving in to my little pain play fantasies rn #and like hey maybe if i come across the right sadistic dom some day i could let them go a little apeshit on me fr too hee hoo

[amanfromnewjersey]

I am going insane about these stoats

(my insta is @trisideseye and that's where I mostly post art. I'm purely posting here bc @quiddie is active on here and I need aabria to know, personally ,how fucked up I am about these stoats)

#burrows end #burrows end spoilers #burrows end tula #tula burrows end #brennan lee mulligan #aabria iyengar #i. abandoned tumblr. i am trying to not use tumblr for any more than following people. i used to post here but i gave up bc i got annoyed #im in physical pain. every ounce of me doesnt want to post my cool art on fuckung tumblr. #tumblr CANNOT be my main social again. I need to give my socials to EMPLOYERS. i want to make art for a JOB #but there are more dimension 20 bitches on tumblr than insta bc its the mentally ill platform #and i need. peiple to understand how fycked up i am abt this stoat mom. #im insane. im insane. im insane. im biting this piece of media im the jugular like i myself am a stoat #and i cant SAY that on instagram the EMPLOYERS will have my ass!!!!!! #anyways. #dimension 20

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

neurotypical people will be like "yeah loud noises bother me too" and meanwhile i once had to sit in a closet clutching a pillow sob-rocking for 2.5 hours because a fire alarm went off for a few seconds

#this is an extreme example but it says something i think #actuallyautistic #yes many of the sensory issues that bother me are also mildly annoying to other people #the issue is that's what a mild annoyance to you is a cause of pain and extreme distress to me #it's a medical issue that can disrupt my entire day and ability to function--at which point i get told i'm 'overreacting' #and listen that is not how sensory processing disorder works #it's not ME overreacting it's my sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems malfunctioning on a biological level #and buddy you are WELCOME to try arguing with them but i personally have spent years not getting results from that #they are Stubborn and they do not give a Damn what you have to say

[kabeddon]

They are DONE!!! LOOK AT THEM AAA

They will now be there under my monitor (totally dont mind the shamos chilling behind them...)

#tf2 #lil pootis #medimedes #...and a shamos from mh:w #anyway listen medimedes gave me so much trouble the entire time I'm making him #not only he was a massive pain in the ass that didnt let me form him easily #after his paintjob the spray paint fucked me over #took me three repaints to get him to top condition #the good news is the spray paint gives him this... fuzzy texture #so while pootis is smooth asf medimedes feel fuzzy ish in comparison! #the... glasses was also a challenge but nothing a wire extracted from a ribbon cant fix!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen ning #wei wuxian #wen qing #jiang cheng #Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile. #This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature. #But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly' #My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out. #Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth. #I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity- #-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly. #Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose. #You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok #Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards. #Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever. #To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss. #Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'. #described in alt text #I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day

[furfag-cringelord]

happy disability pride month to anyone having a really bad flare-up rn btw. take care of yourself

#this post was brought to you by a pain level of 8 a migraine not being able to stand up without getting dizzy and my knees giving out on me #that's just how it be sometimes with The Illness y'know #disability pride month #disabled pride #chronically ill #disabled #cpunk #cripple punk

[loveyourownsmiilee]

I could never ever close on Buddie. These fuckers dead ass introduced Eddie through Buck’s pov, while he’s half naked, and “Whatta Man” is playing in his head. That’s how you fucking introduce a love interest. I’m not believing for one second that there were no plans for Buddie in the beginning bc point blank you don’t introduce a new character like that and not have them be a love interest. Especially when you zoom in on another character that can possibly be the love interest. And in the place of a previous love interest who’s no longer around. Anyone can talk all they want but some of the most romantic scenes on this show have included Buck and Eddie. That shooting scene? The entire thing was sooo romantically coded and they were the only two there. Eddie fucking reaching out to Buck as he’s slowly losing consciousness? Buck doing everything he can to keep Eddie with him? That’s some of the most romantic shit we’ve seen on this show. They have been paralleling the other main couples for yearssss. They’re co-parenting a child together. Eddie literally put Buck in his fucking will as his child’s legal guardian which is the equivalent of a fucking love confession, considering romance novels are also using that kind of thing as a love confession. This is one of the greatest slow burn love stories that we are witnessing in the history of television and it’s so beautiful to see. And now we have one half confirmed to be queer which means it’s closer than ever. Whether it was truly intentional or not, the actors themselves see the beautiful bond those two characters have and continue to breathe life into them in such an authentic and gentle way. They have been leaning into that role even without prior knowledge or guidance bc even they can see what a beautiful story they’re telling for Buck and Eddie. And it’s so wholesome to see two masculine men who explore and embrace their sexualities later on in life. And that they happened to find that love and connection with their best friend possibly. Yall cannot catch me closing on these two ever because no fucking partner can match the love and commitment they have to each other. They are going to go down in history as one of the greatest love stories on television. We’re all here witnessing history being made.

#buddie #I took some pain meds and my minds racinggggg #like yall cannot and will not ever catch me closing #this is happening #give me buddie or give me hell #jujus having thoughts

[claraoswalds]

The Girl Who Died // Hell Bent

#dwedit #doctor who #usertennant #userveronika #userteri #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #doctor x clara #twelveclara #* #I'M SICK OF LOSING PEOPLE. LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR EYES AND YOUR NEVER GIVING UP AND YOUR ANGER AND YOUR KINDNESS. #ONE DAY THE MEMORY OF THAT WILL HURT SO MUCH THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE AND I'LL DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO. #I'LL GET IN MY BOX AND I'LL RUN AND I'LL RUN IN CASE ALL THE PAIN EVER CATCHES UP. AND EVERY PLACE I GO IT WILL BE THERE. #anyway idk if this makes sense outside of my head but the journey between like #she might meet someone she can't bear to lose -> gives her a second repair kit so she can make someone else immortal too -> #he can't bear to lose clara -> he brings her back from the dead which makes her functionally immortal -> #look how far i went for fear of losing you #ok actually i need to make a full parallel set. someone remind me to do that

[iite-cool]

thinking about simon being like a cat. a mean ol' one all teeth and claws, scratching and hissing when you stretch a hand out to him. biting you because that's all he knows how to do - it's all he's ever done - and it's kept him alive.

that's what his whole life's been about - staying alive. surviving. maiming anything he sees before it can get to him first. so he doesn't know how to react when you don't bare your teeth at him but just smile and make him tea. he reacts like a stray cat does when it's offered warmth - he's confused. and his confusion gives way to anger and again he spits fire because what else is he supposed to do? accept your kindness? bah! it's a hoax, he knows that. you'll tire of him and claw at his neck sooner or later so he'd rather not let you close enough to do so.

and when you don't give up, and you keep smiling that gorgeous, dazzling smile at him, he doesn't know what to do. no one's ever done this before - been all soft and sweet and only wanting to be allowed to scratch at his ears in reward. why were you doing this? why didn't you run away when you saw how he scratched at you? why do you look at him with those big, beautiful eyes like he's the only person in the world?

at a complete loss, he lets you pet him and oh that smile he'd let you tear his heart out if you would just keep smiling at him. "hey, simon!" god, he wants to drown in the sound of your lips wrapping around his name. you come close to him and his brain stops working, eyes wide and lost when you wrap your arms around him and pull him to you. warmth. is this what it feels like? he wants to live forever in the crux of your arms, creating a life for himself between them.

he couldn't stop smiling if he tried, if he were a cat he'd spend the rest of his time on this earth, the earth that tried to bury and kill him and is now making amends by sending him you, running between your legs and swishing his tail around you. simon riley who's always had his head on a swivel, who's not gotten a full night's sleep in a decade lest he miss the chance to look his reaper in the eyes, now sleeps with his head on your lap, belly up and purring.

masterlist

please comment/reblog!! i have so many thoughts about this man that need to be talked about

#inspired by the prettiest cat i've ever seen in my life #came to me and just flopped flat on her back #something something simon who's so guarded #simon who's never ever let his walls down because his father taught him that weakness means pain #simon who meets you and thinks he'd like to let his guard down for you but oh :( he doesn't know how to #simon who lets you scratch at him until he flops next to you belly up #exposing himself completely because god trust feels so good #idk I'm yapping but I love him and I want to give him tummy rubs #simon fluff #simon riley fluff #ghost fluff #simon x reader #simon riley x reader #cod x reader #vi.writes