#HIS BLADE HOOK??? THATS COOL AS FUCK

[wrestlezon]

dynamite 3/22/23 (live)blog containment zone

we started late again...

omg… hospital for the bucks… theyre doing it. theyre progressing the elite story hangman… in the ambulance… omega gets left behind… OOOOO theyre DOIN IT….

[orange + sting & darby vs kip + butcher and the blade]

sheesh lol orange's facepaint :)c kip periwinkle'd his hair kip is cool because i look at him and know exactly what his deal is. he is a my chemical romance tumblrman when i can look at a wrestler and understand what their deal is? thats good mcr tumblrman is not even my thing but i appreciate him having style. and panache i also like his goofy sinister mindgames at orange. i also like that they WORK on orange. he got under his skin! he made orange of all people snap! such a good rivalry kip: yes! the crowd: BOOOOOOO the crowd: yaaaaaay kip: yeah thats more like it!!! sting: 🧍‍♂️ kip: 😰 that was a cute ending! i liked that lmao orange is knighting sting

[video for the pillars 4way]

ooooo theyre finally pulling the trigger on the pillars 4way…

[video for kenny vs vikingo]

whoops i missed this because i was getting a snack. despite whatever the hell is going on on twitter i dont need a video package to enjoy a good match tho

[gunn club vs top flight]

the gunns outfit today? insane unbelievably im having a hard time concentrating on this match because im lost in the bliss of chips + yogurt

oh no… ftr leaves aew if they lose… well. i wont get mad

[backstage with jade & mark sterling]

so fucking funny that mark sterling's letterhead logo is 1) GIANT and 2) FULL BLACK. the printer ink!!!!

[stokely vs hook]

soooo excited for this lmfao stokely pulling the not medically cleared card. AND retiring again just to seal the deal "HE IS SICK!!!" love how the security guard action jumped into the chair stokely screaming quoting 2pac? god. killing him with that chair just holding up stokely!! hook is so strong dead. killed him

oh my god matt hardy encouraging ethan page to avenge stokely This Is How Matt Hardy Can Get Revenge

[adam cole!]

yay adam cole what a face. hes not going to do a heelturn, right? at least not anytime soon i wonder who he is fighting LMAO DANIEL GARCIA… oh my god. his entire capital L Look ok cole is def not gonna do a heelturn if hes up against garcia

[backstage with kenny and don callis]

ooooo theyre doing ittttttt… theres strife… oooo

[moxley vs stu]

uno's mask is soooo shiny get him stu!!!!!!! cool pose on the ropes, moxley lmfao claudio yawning?? whoa what a loose slam by moxley. big flip off the corner by stu!! very cool oooh moxley's counter into bulldog was also cool backpack moxley huh, whats going on with moxley's ear? oh its bandage

lmao yuta "we're off the clock! 🙄"

[backstage with ricky starks]

mad about beefin with juice? yea oh theyre finally gonna fight? on rampage!

[QTV?]

little baby drawing on the cubicle lmao this footage is rj city in the background of this bit too? i thought it was funny he was in the first one like they just took over his office and started being really cringe in there and hes just like 🙄 well ok then

[toni storm vs skye blue]

booo outcasts. yay skye blue whoa that was a swift and snappy suplex thing by toni. that crowd person is loud, whoever they are

nooo dont spraypaint her ! the women's facesquad has appeared riho!! wlilow!!

rampage being on saturday… when i was in 3rd grade i got into an argument with the neighbor boy about wwe not being on whatever day it was supposed to be on and bet him 5 dollars about it. i won and didnt get 5 dollars because thats an astronomical amount in like 90s dollars

[backstage with stu]

oh no stu's arm moxley LMAO i love how the BCC are just backstage rascals now like if you wander around backstage you better watch out because you might get into a lv50 random encounter with the BCC

[kenny vs vikingo]

SON OF KING VIKING lmfao kenny's intro having so much shade in it. that's don callis' doing, right omg that dude's superkick party sign is so extreme kenny oooooooooomegaaaaaaaaaa!!! his theme is sooooooo good. god we havent heard it in so long right? because theyve been coming out to journey this whole time? is this kenny's first solo match back omg! vikingo tope whoa??? implosion hurricarana?? dude has been doing nothing but the sickest of flips no! kenny, no! drop it…. drop it!!! no table! cmon theres no need for this!! lmao he is being so badguy. hair pulling!! this rules. we get to see all the top-tier precision moves because these are insane toptier wrestlers these guys are doing SO MANY apron/off the ring moves right now omg balance: unparalleled ??????????? phoenix splash "you can see it in his eyes! ill intent" now hes just killing a ragdoll "swan-diving reverse hurricanrana!!" my friend is yelling about how we've never seen any of these moves in our lives and yet they have names according to excalibur holy shit a 630 what?? vikingo did like a million rotations lmfao vikingo rolling up and all the way around kenny omega to get him into a pin??? omg you straight up cannot blink in this match kenny won!

OH MY GOSH ITS THE BCC sirens?? HANGMAN STOLE AN AMBULANCE???? what is that. what is his weapon oh its a plank with nails in it. why is it spraypainted black !!!! CALLIS he is such a LIAR!!!!!!!! SNAKE!!!!!!!!! OUGHH!!!! im making an angry wojak face right now

#livezon

[dylanobrienisbatman]

The main problem with the whole mal vs the darkling thing in regards to being possessive (or really when it comes to any of their traits) is the fact that throughout, the darkling is clearly framed as the villain and his actions reflect that, whereas Mal as supposed to be the good guy and best romantic partner for Alina, and yet he has all these awful character traits and tendencies. So its less about how awful the Bad Guy is (since he's supposed to be), and more about how awful the person that we're supposed to believe is the best option for Alina is. I don't ship either, just my two cents.

Okay well... two things. First, your comment about "its less about how awful the bad guy is, since he's supposed to be", takes every comment I've made about Darkles out of context, which seems fitting since everything Darklina's spout about Mal is out of context. Him being the Bad Guy is fine, and if you like him AS A VILLAIN, and acknowledge all the bad shit he does, then my posts aren't for you. I think he's a very interesting villain, and a lot of the terrible shit he does that I have to keep making posts about make him a good villain, the problem is when the terrible shit the "Bad Guy" does is romanticized and viewed as the reasons why Alina SHOULD have picked him. So, don't assume everyone gets that "hes supposed to be awful". The point my post was making is that Darklina's love to call Mal possessive, but then turn around and act like Darkles literally enslaving her in somehow sexy and romantic. It's fucking not, and it's transparent as hell that y'all romanticize and sexualize the actually possessive character, and then project false character traits onto Mal. It's so transparent, it's almost funny.

But, more importantly, to your second, very wrong point, I wonder how much of the narrative about Mal having "awful character traits and tendencies" is actually a commentary on Mal as a character, or is it just Darklina's lying about things Mal has done and everyone accepting that misinterpretation as canon. Because, if were making a list...

Fuck boy - False! Mal was not a fuck boy! He was an attractive teenager who hooked up with consenting girls his age when he could, and he was not in a relationship during that time. Alina had never told him how she felt, so he is not beholden to her. (Also, nobody seems to have an issue with the fact that Darkles hooked up with Zoya in the show, that doesn't make HIM a fuckboy... interesting) (also also, nobody seems to discuss Darkles literally sexually assaulting Alina, and lying and manipulating her to get her to be physically intimate with him so he can use her... double interesting).

Slut Shames Alina - FALSE! The ever favourite callout line from Darklina's "He's all over you" isn't him slut shaming her. First, he has no idea what their relationship is like at that point, but more importantly, he is making an observation of her status in the little palace and how she has become his tool. He has dressed her up in his colors, made her put on a show for his benefit, and has created a situation where Alina appears to be his. Mal is noting that after months of searching for her, believing she was being hurt, tortured, or worse, when he arrives to save her, she looks like the Darkling's pet. (and, even if he WAS angry because he perceived them to be romantically involved, boy just spent months fighting for his life, lost multiple friends, and almost died to find her, all while coming to the realisation that he was in love with her, and then he shows up, after not hearing from her for months... I'd be pissed as hell too.) Important Note: He even acknowledges that what he said was wrong and tries to apologise, before Alina tells him that he was right. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 286). He also then apologizes, completely unprompted, for what he said. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 297).

Fat Shames Alina - False! This one is particularly laughable to me, because its one of the Darklina arguments that falls apart the second you actually read the scene. They are running for their lives in the forest, and Mal has to hunt and gather to feed them. He is noting that Alina's appetite has increased since he last saw her, and he makes a joke (ya know, how you do with friends) about how it would be easier to keep her fed if she still had her more meager appetite from before. He makes no comment on her weight, or her size, and he is not actually commenting on her appetite in a negative way, he is just acknowledging that it's a lot more work for him now that she eats more. Right before he says the line, the quote even proves that he isn't shaming her or thinking badly of her: "With a bemused expression, he watched as I gobbled down my portion and then sighed, still hungry". He is noting a change in her, and complaining that its made more work for him. If you think thats the same as fat shaming, well... thats a you problem.

Hates Alina's Powers - FALSE!!!! How to begin... do we talk about it was Mal's idea to hunt the stag in S&B, because he knew she needed it to be more powerful so she could stop the darkling? Do we talk about how he vowed to find the firebird for her, even though he was terrified of what all that power would do to her? Do we talk about how he literally died so she could achieve the power she needed to save the world? Or maybe we could talk about how he believed in her power more than anyone else, like when everyone was making bets about her abilities with the Cut and he knew she'd go further and better than anyone else expected her too, or when he tells her that he was never afraid of her powers, only what seeking all that power would do to her (which is literally the theme of the books, that power corrupts and seeking unmatched power can destroy you)? Mal being afraid of what is going to happen to Alina, being protective of her and worrying over her, is not the same as him hating her powers. He exists to help remind Alina of the themes of the story, and to guide her into maintaining her humanity.

Abusive - ... Do I even need to explain this one? Must I deign an explanation as to why this favourite Darklina lie is so fucking stupid, and also totally hypocrisy? No? Because we all know Darkles is actually the abusive one and they're trying to project their own shit onto Mal to further their abuse apologist agenda? Cool. Moving on.

Possessive of Alina - False! Throughout the entire series, Mal is quite literally the opposite of possessive, but yall just cant read. Not only does he quite literally step out of the way and allow Nikolai to court Alina without argument, which is the most direct example of him not being possessive, he also spends two full books believing, and repeatedly saying over and over and over, that they can't be together because he is not good enough for her. Mal believes, fully, that Alina deserves more than him, better than him, because he's just a tracker and a soldier, just a regular man with nothing to offer her but his love and his protection, and she is a Saint and should be a Queen. Possessiveness is the wish to own and control someone, it is literally the opposite of Mal believing that he's not good enough and doing everything he can to ensure that Alina achieves everything and gets everything he believes she is owed. A possessive character would not tell her to tell him to leave because he has nothing he can offer her, no title or land or country or crown. A possessive character would not promise to be the blade in her hand, because he believed he had nothing but the blood he could spill to offer her.

Angry - True! Yeah, omg, you caught us, Mal is ANGRY! Heaven forbid a teenager who is traumatized beyond belief and has to give up everything in his life, his position in the military (he deserted for her), his friends and the job he loved (Mikhail and Dubrov died for him, and he can't be a tracker in the army... because he deserted... for Alina), and, most importantly, he has to give up Alina (she should be Queen, he believes, and he has to give up the future he imagined with the girl he loves, who he was pretty sure loved him back, because she's a saint and queen and he's just a man), and more, is ANGRY. He has to be the one to find the amplifiers that he knows will end up hurting her, because thats what she needs to save the world. He has to sit by while Nikolai treats him like the dirt on his shoe and tries to woo Alina for his own personal gain (because Nikoalai did not love Alina. Maybe he came to care for her, but he proposed and spent all of S&S trying to get her to marry him when it was obvious they were not in love. He straight up says its so that the next King of Ravka can be married to the Sun Summoner. It's a power grab.) and he can't do anything about it. So yeah, Mal is angry. And yeah, sometimes he's even angry at Alina, just like sometimes she's angry at him. But they always find their way back, always apologize and try to be better for each other, and if you think anger is a toxic trait, and not simply a natural human emotion, might I suggest touching some fucking grass?

Idk why you thought I'd stand for Mal slander on my blog, cuz I will not. So, I'm gonna stop there, because I have shit to do today, but I really do wonder how much of Mal's 'toxic' or 'terrible' traits, that make him such a 'bad' love interest for Alina, really comes from Darklina's who refuse to actually read the text critically at all, and instead take everything he does and says out of context to further their agenda that Alina should have ended up as the Darkling's fucking slave forever, because thats the "girl power feminist" ending somehow. Mal supports her, loves her, sacrifices for her at every turn, and does everything he can do, to the point of literally dying for her, to ensure that she can defeat Darkles and save the world. He protects her, and when they end up happy and safe together on the orphange that they've rebuilt to help the children that were victims of Darkles war and genocide, he spends his days bringing her tea and cakes and flowers, kissing her silly under the stairs in the view of all the teachers, and calling her names like beauty, beloved, cherished, my heart for the rest of their ordinary life together, if love can ever be called that.

#Malina #anti darklina #malyen oretsev #mal oretsev #shadow and bone #if yall could just learn to fucking read... i am begging you

[pwnyta]

OK THIS IS MY IDEA FOR LIKE A VOLTRON SEASON... keep in mind I didnt watch the last season but nobody liked it so Im sure no one cares if I accidentally retcon stuff.. HERE GOES-

BOOM

Starts off with Coran. Hes staring up at some screen with a bunch of weird alien science bullshit on screen. He looks kind of more aged and tired which is a little concerning because his species is seemingly like immortal. But hes staring up at this screen and hes starts talking to Allura... whos not there its more like ‘where could you be, I still feel like youre out there somewhere‘ that kind of thing...

Romelle comes in and starts like ‘Coran you gotta stop with this. You gotta move. whens the last time youve talked to someone besides me or this screen.’ etc and Coran just looks sad because hes kind of been left behind and he misses the last family he really had left. and hes all ‘I feel like shes still out there... I wish she’d just give us a sign‘ and Romelle feels bad but tries to convince him to step away...

WHEN SUDDENLY some of the alien tech starts picking up some weird interference and Coran and Romelle are like !!!!! Holy shit... and now Romelle is a little on board and Coran grabs a communication device or w/e.

hard cut to Pidge and Hunk. Theyre just fucking around.. I havent decided more about them but lets just say theyre like playing a game late at night and goofing off surrounded by weird inventions and random junk... Pidge loses and Hunk gloats and theyre surprised when their phone rings... (of course Coran would contact them first) but MOVING ON

Lance is still like working on a farm somewhere or w/e he was doing at the end of the series, just with his big family and looking pretty pleased... little girl runs up and tells him grandma said hes got a phone call so he picks her up and heads in.. and then you find out the little girl is his daughter and hes a good dad and its very cute. also he has beard in these moments cuz it can be funny later.

Then we get to Shiro... whos sleeping. Hes all stressed out.. think that scene in IM3 with Tony... like hes not gotten any sorta therapy. And he wakes up all sweaty and startled and Curtis comes in and is like ‘Oh honey are you ok... I thought I heard you wake up‘ something something showing a cute relationship with the fellas. PHONE CALL.

Then were with the Blade. Full suited up Blades are training, ones way bigger than the other, theres some other smaller Blades at the side watching... its clearly some kind of battle instruction... This is were Keith is gonna be re-introduced but boom smaller Blade gets knocked back and helmet phases away to reveal some little gremlin mad that they got bested. A little hot headed moody thing and then the instructor phases his helmet away and its KEITH. Fully purple. Those hints that Keith was getting more Galra-like... now this. Krolia comes in to tell him Coran has called and asked him to come by because something important happened.

At where ever Coran is at the Paladins start showing up. Make it really clear that they havent really kept in touch much...

Pidge and Hunk meet up with Lance... see his beard and start RAILING on him. Like WHAT IS THAT?! And Lance fights back because he thinks the beard makes him look manly but Pidge laughs and Hunks like...//strokes his own beard and Lance is like ‘HUNK HAS A BEARD!‘ but Pidge is all ‘HUNK HAS THE FACE FOR A BEARD YOU LOOK GOOFY AS FUCK‘ And Lance is like ‘Whatever what do you know!‘

then Shiro is like ‘Geez you guys are already bickering?‘ Pidge is super excited to see Shiro and Lance is like ‘AH YES. A man of great honor and refined taste!! SHIRO... Tell them my beard looks good!‘ and Shiros all :).......... yeah. But its obvious hes just trying to be nice but hes a bad liar and Lance is like ‘GOD DAMN IT‘ and the others laugh.

Keith comes in fully Galra.. the other Paladins are like ?!!?!? WAT. And Keith is like hey! all casual about it, offers a hand to Shiro for their little hug thing even tho even Shiros still like ‘Purple? also youre taller than me now? Dont like that.‘ but Keith is like ‘wtf is up with the beard?‘ and Lance is all ‘I DONT WANNA HEAR IT FROM YOU.‘

Cuz hes fucking purple.

But they get to Coran and Coran goes off with a bunch of alien tech speak and only Pidge and Hunk are really following along but they look a little skeptical when he starts trying to mash pieces together like ‘Oh this could be Allura trying to communicate with us! Maybe we can get her back!‘ which of course hooks Lance immediately.

At the chance to maybe create some cool new device Pidge and Hunk are ready to work with Coran to make some device to pin point the anomaly and maybe create some kind of universe jumping portal... they remember that comet thing from that weird AU episode so they know its technically possible. Keith thinks its a bad idea and Shiro trusts his instincts cuz he wasnt really there for that so he has no input.

BUT it happens anyways and more information on the anomaly is given with Pidge and Hunks machine. they find its one life form thats not like something enormous and they get a little more into Corans mind set. Maybe this really is a Allura.

Theyre willing to risk it. 

Something something they build a machine and some kind of containment area to try and ease Keiths mind. Theyre suited up prepared for whoever it is that might come through.

But its clear when the figure steps through the portal that its not Allura and probably not an Altean at all. Weird number of toes, really tall. They suspect Galra and they know there are still rogue Galra out there so they keep their guard up but then the person looks over at them and immediately removes their mask and its Ulaz! and hes like ‘OH FUCK! Shiro!!! (not exact words... I dont do dialog leave me alone)‘

and Shiros ‘ULAZ!!!!‘

Ulaz can look a little different, maybe his mohawk hair is longer and braided so he looks all cool but also like he hasnt been able to maintain his hair, hes got some scars on his face, maybe he lost an eye or something.

And everyones a little excited to see him especially Shiro and even Keith cuz thats one of his Blade brothers! The first one hes met really... (Coran and Lance are not quite as happy...)

After a brief moment of joy Ulaz is quick to inform them of the AU Alteans.

They get filled in. They find out that those Alteans are also looking for Allura... which Coran is like ‘Allura really is alive!!‘ but its not that important to Ulaz at the moment cuz hes just going on about the number of followers Hiras got and theyve been fucking around in the universes gathering followers and power and shit.

Then hard cut to Hiras fleet and that bitch is PACKIN.

THAT WOULD BE FIRST EPISODE SET UP. //a fanfiction by Ewim

what do you think...

#I know its like 11pm and everyone hates VLD BUT HEAR ME OUT! #VLD

[honeyopinion]

20/20 Albums of the Year

Circles by Mac Miller  |  Hip-Hop, Soul, Funk Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For... Pouring One Out for Mac

I wrote a few different drafts of this album summary, and none of them felt like they really fit the impossibly large bill of accurately describing the posthumous importance or brilliance of this album. If you are a fan of hip-hop or soul music of any kind, try to give this piece of work a chance. I for one, used to judge Mac based on his early frat rap days in the late 2000s. But a decade later he came to leave the world with one of the most surprising and frankly impressive artistic evolutions that I’ve been able to witness in real time. RIP Mac. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Circles” or “Everybody”

Marigold by Pinegrove  |  Alternative Country and Folk Rock Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For… Passing Through a Small Town on a Cloudy Winter Day 

Pinegrove was one of the last great concerts I got to experience before the pandemic. And it was my favorite performance of theirs from the last 6 years of seeing them play live. Is this my favorite album of theirs? Honestly, it’s not. But I still find it extremely enjoyable, and the memory of seeing these songs performed live, along with some of their classics, was enough for me to include it on this list. This is an album that marks Pinegrove’s exit from their pop punk roots. It’s still sentimental, but much more country and folk rock focused vs. anything trying to be associated with emo or punk. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora   Start With: “The Alarmist” or “No Drugs”

Watch This Liquid Pour Itself by Okay Kaya  |  Synth Pop, Art Rock, Folk Released: January 24, 2020

Best Album For… Crywanking at 3am, Bathed in The Dull Light of Your Overheating Laptop

What if Feist and Father John Misty had a secret love child? They might sound something like Okay Kaya. Self proclaimed “Singer ~ Crywanker,” Okay Kaya brings serious BDE to weirdo art pop that she seems like she could be a plant  from the mind of Nathan Fielder. Kaya delivers with such deadpan precision as she rolls out line after line of sarcastic joy, staring blankly at our dystopian reality. “Here I am, the whole world is my daddy,” “Netflix and yeast infection,” “Sex with me is mediocre,” “I just want us to do well like Jon Bon Jovi’s Rosê,” and, “My parasite and I are blushing / In the zero interaction ramen bar,” are just a few examples of some of her memorable and biting lyrics. The entire album is both a critique and nihilistic fondness for the absurdity of our lonely technological society, not quite sure how to deal with taboos like repressed female sexuality, depression, and codependency. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Baby Little Tween” or “Asexual Wellbeing”

UNLOCKED by Denzel Curry and Kenny Beats  |  Hip-Hop Released: February 7, 2020

Best Album For... Nodding Your Damn Head To, Feeling Cooler Than You Actually Are

I had to double check that this was an album. Clocking in under 20 minutes, this collection of songs feels more like an EP, especially with the track titles that purposefully look like file names and placeholders. But for a short album, Denzel wastes no time, furiously zigging and zagging effortlessly over Kenny Beats’ 90s New York-indebted production (ad libs and all). Kenny pulls out samples of an array of pop culture references made by Denzel (like quotes from movies and weapon sound effects like a lightsaber) — as he rotates his flow between admirable impressions of DMX, Nas, and Joey Bada$$.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “So.Incredible.pkg” or “DIET_”

Cardboard City by Zack Villere  |  Pop, Electronic, R&B Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For… Pal-ing Around With Your Friends From High School, Maybe Quoting Superbad At The Same Time

The first time I watched a music video from Zack Villere, I noticed the top comment said: “how did frank ocean get trapped in mark zuckerberg.” And while that definitely gets at the heart of how Zack Villere presents himself, he is not a phenomenal singer like Frank Ocean is, nor does he come off as an asshole like Mark Zuckerberg does. I would say that he is just a slightly awkward nerdy white guy who loves hip-hop production and R&B melodies. So the better question is really, “how did drake get trapped in michael cera?” This premise should not work at all, but somehow it does. This is only Villere’s second album, but he shows some serious production and songwriting chops, plus a commitment to his delivery that comes across as genuine, charming, and unique. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Grateful” or “Superhero Strength”

The Slow Rush by Tame Impala  |  Psych Rock, Synth Pop, Disco Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For... Throwing a Silent Disco For One 

Tame Impala continues on their now 10 year streak of psych rock dominance. Along the way we’ve seen Kevin Parker master and stretch the boundaries of psychedelic production. This has resulted in his music coming as close to sounding like the best aspects of The Beatles, while also expanding into hip hop drums, R&B hooks, plus more and more electronic elements. This is an album that I was not super impressed with when it initially came out, but as we entered the pandemic and were tasked with finding small joys in staying at home all the time, I found myself going back to this album and appreciating the themes of solitude and self reflection that Parker has drawn from throughout his career.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Posthumous Forgiveness” or “One More Hour”

1988 by Knxwledge  |  Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Pumping Your Brakes and Driving Slow, Uh *Homie* Although this album is named after a year in the 80s, the sound here is a perfect portal back to 90s golden era hip-hop, with all the gospel, soul samples, and the kind of deep bass you want to feel in your chest. This is the rare, largely instrumental hip-hop album that I find myself going back to, other than works from the legendary J Dilla and MF Doom. Knxwledge is good friends and a frequent collaborator with Anderson .Paak (in the form of NxWorries). Here we get Anderson to grace us with his presence on the track “itkanbe[sonice]”, and of course it sounds just like an authentic vintage soul sample. When I hear this collection of songs it makes me wish I still had a car, so I could inevitably damage my speakers listening to this.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “dont be afraid” or “thats allwekando.”

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa  |  Pop, R&B, Funk, Disco Released: March 27, 2020 Best Album For... Alarming Your Pet With Your Enthusiastic Lip Syncing

This album is a pure sugar rush. Like Bruno Mars with the help of Mark Ronson, or Calvin Harris a few years ago, Dua has harnessed a nostalgia (it’s even in the title, wink) for disco, funk and R&B, and is instantly a sexy, catchy, not-so-guilty pleasure. It’s sad that the majority of these songs are all bonafide club hits that didn’t have a proper home this year … except for my living room. And hopefully yours.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Pretty Please” or “Future Nostalgia”

Hold Space For Me by Orion Sun  |  Alternative R&B and Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Wishing Frank Ocean Was Your Dad

“Alternative R&B” is a contentious term, but what else would you call one of a few R&B singers cool enough to make it onto (NYC indie darlings) Mom+Pop Records?? On one hand, she brings the vulnerable and introverted lyrics of an indie singer songwriter like Tracey Chapman, crossed with the raw presence and sweet melodic delivery of a true R&B star like Aaliyah. I’d even go far enough to refer to her as the musical stepchild of Frank Ocean and SZA.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora

Start With: “Ne Me Quitte Pass (Don’t Leave Me)” or “Lightning”

You and Your Friends by Peach Pit  |  Indie Rock and Dream Pop Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Going Back To Your College Town To Crash A Party

Peach Pit seem like they would be cool dudes to hang out with. You have no problem picturing them as the band playing a house show in an indie movie about college kids. And that’s because there’s a familiarity to the scenes that their songs portray, of stumbling through your 20s, either being too dumb or having too much fun to notice. It’s funny to refer to this as “Indie” rock since this is Peach Pit’s major label debut with Columbia Records. But It has all the trappings of Indie; sticky melodies, gentle reverb, an “I’m not trying that hard” vibe, and lyrics that are oddly specific enough to be interesting, but still vague enough to be relatable.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Feelin’ Low (Fuckboy Blues)” or “Shampoo Bottles”

Heaven To a Tortured Mind by Yves Tumor  |  Psych Rock, Indie Pop, Post-Punk, Alternative R&B, Experimental Electronic Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Tearing Up The Fucking Dance Floor With Your Hot Robot Girlfriend

If Tyler the Creator, Alex G, King Krule, and Blood Orange all got into the studio together and dropped a shit ton of acid on Halloween, their recording session might sound something like Heaven To a Tortured Mind… And even then, you still might have trouble putting your finger on exactly what you’re hearing. “Dream Palette” is a good reference track for Tumor’s most wild and mesmerizing qualities. The biggest styles of the past half century of music have been loaded into this gleefully effective genre blender, with blades of dissonance slicing everything up, creating a surrealist sonic smoothie.

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Start With: “Super Stars” or “Dream Palette”

The New Abnormal by The Strokes  |  Indie Rock, Dirtbag Disco, Synth Pop Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Mixing Yourself Another Drink This Saturday Night

Back from the dead, The Strokes return with their first album in 7 years to turn some heads and settle back into some old habits. The charming messy haired garage rock of the early 2000s still pops up here and there, but this is really a record where the group is mature enough to show you that they actually are trying, and are unafraid to take joyous swings for the fences. Julian Casablancas pushes his scratchy alley cat yelp of a voice into something more vulnerable, sunny, and sweet, like he asked for a piña colada (you know, with one of those little umbrellas) instead of a double shot of scotch before hopping up on stage… Or maybe he did both. But these days, everyone is looking for some sort of break from our groundhog day lives any way that we can. Sometimes that sounds like selling out, or depending on how you look at it, stepping up. This album is the result of a group of old friends who got together to make music they simply want to make for themselves. Now far removed from the 2000s New York scene where their younger selves were acting too cool and disaffected to care about having fun.

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Start With: “Eternal Summer” or “The Adults Are Talking”

The Loves of Your Life by Hamilton Leithauser  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Drinking Down At The Docks, Watching The Sun Set

While I am a fan of The Walkmen, I have no idea what their frontman Hamilton Leithauser looks like or how he dresses. But hearing these songs off of his latest solo, I imagine the following: a member of Mumford and Sons if they were edgy and cooler, giving off a “cowboy rocker meets depression-era dock worker” aesthetic. That’s exactly how his music comes off to me. It’s a convincing blend of blues rock, Americana, and old timey country music. All expertly narrated by dusty country guitars and standup bass, tarnished horns and flutes, and what I imagine to be a restored saloon piano. The Loves of Your Life originally started as a collection of short stories, each about characters based on both people he knew and strangers. Leithauser then wrote the music separately, and finally came to mix and match their parts together in a surprisingly convincing fashion to create the album.

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Start With: “Wack Jack” or “Cross-Sound Ferry (Walk-On Ticket)”

What Kinda Music by Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes  |  Neo-Soul, Electronic, Hip-Hop

Released: April 24, 2020

Best Album For... Cooking For Someone You’re In Love With

Exactly what kind of music do Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes make? It’s orchestral, it’s jazz-infused, it’s hip-hop beats joined with gentle soul. It’s a little sexy, it’s a little mysterious, and you’re going to want to listen to it a whole lot. That’s it. That’s what kind of music it is! Send tweet. 

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Start With: “What Kinda Music” or “Storm Before The Calm”

Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams  |  Electronic Pop and Art Rock Released: May 8, 2020

Best Album For... Browsing Depop for Your Next 80s Normcore ‘Fit

Hayley, Hayley, Hayley. You are too good for this wretched world!! After exploring more adventurous sounds and genre hopping over the last few Paramore records, Hayley decided to go out on her own. This really frees herself from the expectations that come along with being the face and heart of a wildly popular band for the last 15+ years. Thom Yorke fans rejoice, because Hayley Williams has a clear admiration for Radiohead’s haunting indie electronic vibe, while emoting some pain and darkness atop her love for 80s pop and art rock (think Genesis, Devo, The Talking Heads). This is a promising new avenue for Hayley to explore herself and process her pain and desire completely on her own. I see this new project of hers only blooming further from here.

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Start With: “Simmer” or “Sudden Desire” 

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately by Perfume Genius  |  Indie Pop and Art Rock Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Daydreaming That You Were Somewhere Else

For his 5th studio album, Perfume Genius enlists production wizard and guitar god Blake Mills, along with Grammy Award-winning arranger and multi-instrumentalist Rob Moose to create a beautiful swirling mosaic of 80s pastel pop that also packs serious classic rock grandeur. Bass guitar dances between satin smooth lines on one song to churning distorted currents on the next. Sparkling string arrangements and organs bleed together to expose a fading sunset that you’ll want to try and hold in your hands to keep it in sight. Perfume Genius is unafraid to challenge traditional masculinity, packing a 21st century queer machismo into both the quiet moments and jubilant explosions.

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Start With: “Without You” or “Describe”

græ by Moses Sumney  |  Indie Pop, Art Rock, Neo-Soul, Psychic Folk Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Astral Projection 101 

I mean this in the best way possible, but I think that Moses Sumney is a witch. Or maybe a wizard? There’s no other reasonable explanation for the level of creativity and wonder that he summons. This album feels like a private concert by a waterfall (similar to one on the cover), with ethereal pleas, and heavy ideas—like meditating on what lies beyond the constraints of the physical self and reconsidering how well we can actually trust memory and the mind. Sumney layers his voice to create the effect of a ghostly choir, accented by a stark intimidating falsetto that reverberates through the ruins of an abandoned temple where Sumney is the only one in attendance.

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Start With: “Cut Me” or “Polly”

WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD by Nick Hakim  |  Psychedelic Neo-Soul Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Playing Pool in a Hazy Dive Bar

Nick Hakim is a silky smooth smokey crooner who paints with warbly piano loops, dreamy reverb-heavy guitar, boom bap beats—not to mention a falsetto that would make Smokey Robinson jealous. Clearly a fan of Motown and 60s jazz, Hakim could be considered a peer of Thunder Cat and Anderson .Paak’s to a degree. I remember seeing him perform at Music Hall of Williamsburg a few years ago. The performance ended with him falling down on stage (presumably from being under the influence of multiple substances). But while the song continued he popped back up and belted an impressive high note like it was nothing, drink in hand. And it’s that kind of messy beauty that also makes this album so engrossing. Like watching the eye of the storm get closer and closer, but unable to look away from the sheer magnetism that nature can wield.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  Start With: “All THESE CHANGES” or “ALL THESE INSTRUMENTS”

RTJ4 by Run The Jewels  |  Hip-Hop Released: June 3, 2020

Best Album For... Making Your Next Protest Sign

Run The Jewels’ fourth outing might be the most unapologetically angry rap album in the “fuck this” year of 2020. And it reminded me that I should absolutely still be furious about everything that happened during this groundbreaking yet terrifyingly familiar year: country wide protests over the continued murder of innocent black people at the hands of the police, government drone strikes and detaining kids in cages, the state of our environment worsening—and that’s not even addressing the pandemic or election. Killer Mike and El-P are here to scream from the rooftops that our current system of cutthroat capitalism and white supremacy is killing the planet and its inhabitants, and I’m glad that they’re using their platform to continue to sound the alarm.

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Start With: “out of sight” or “ooh la la”

Your Hero Is Not Dead by Westerman  |  New Wave Revival and Indie Pop Released: June 5, 2020 Best Album For... Wanting Your Old School MTV

The cover of Westerman’s first proper album is mostly black and white, except for the title, which is scrawled out in lettering which spans the Crayola color spectrum. It’s an album that on the surface is cold and buttoned up, but when these choruses open up, the maximalist 80s power pop bursts like the bulbs of a neon sign. There’s a level of even-keeled cool and confidence in small moments on display here that makes this relatively new artist seem well beyond his years. Having seen him play at Rough Trade a few years ago (opening up for the stellar Puma Blue), the songwriting growth on display on this record is impressive. I’m only sad that there wasn’t an opportunity to have seen him play these new songs live.

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Start With: “Easy Money” or “Confirmation (SSBD)” 

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: June 18, 2020

Best Album For... Burning Incense and Breaking Out a Ouija Board to Talk to The Ghost of Your Former Self

This is without a doubt, a career defining release for Phoebe. Taking everything she’s learned from writing, performing, and touring with the likes of Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker (in boygenius), and Conor Oberst (in Better Oblivion Community Center), Bridgers levels up to become the truly prolific singer-songwriter she’s been telling us she would always be. Bridgers has explained her personal definition of “a punisher” as a well meaning person who’s, “just talking to you and they don’t realize that your eyes are glazed over and you’re trying to escape.” Vital to understanding this album and its central message is that Phoebe finds herself caught between the contradiction of falling victim to this phenomenon while also doing it herself, especially if she ever met her musical idol, Elliott Smith. Punisher serves as a warning to her audience that if you focus too much on trying to find yourself through other people (via escaping through fandom, drugs, toxic relationships), you’ll always feel lost and dissatisfied, without the proper self awareness to ever quite know why. 

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Start With: “Garden Song” or “ICU”

Women In Music Pt. III by HAIM  |  Rock, Pop, Folk, R&B Released: June 26, 2020

Best Album For... Preparing For A Better 2021, lol 

With this album, HAIM skyrocketed to the #1 position of family bands that start with an “H.” Sorry, Hanson! But seriously, HAIM has outdone themselves on this one. If there was one album from this list that I would dub my personal AOTY, this would be it. You might wince at any tracklist longer than 10-12 songs these days (I know I usually do), but almost every song proves itself worthy, pulling at a different thread of my heart until there’s nothing left. Sunshine State Beach Pop? Check. Blues Tinged Dad Rock? Yup! Dive Bar Country? Mmhmm! No, wait, what’s that you say, Glitched-Out R&B? Yes, yes, and yes. You can have it all, sister! ‘Cause when you’re Haim, you’re family! ;) And these three “women in music” continue to prove that they are just about the best Assorted Pop Rocks(™) act in the world right now.

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Start With: “I’ve Been Down” or “Don’t Wanna”

Lianne La Havas by Lianne La Havas  |  Neo-Soul and Indie Pop Released: July 17, 2020

Best Album For... Sipping Coffee and Journaling on a Weekend Morning

This album exudes a warm vulnerability, like a comforting hug we all needed this year. On her third album, Lianne La Havas makes the risky decision to self title it, a move that artists make when they believe that it is the piece of work that they most want most directly associated with their name. It’s one thing to name your first album after yourself if you can’t think of anything else at the time, but to make a self titled album in the middle of your career, it means that you are sure about having captured who you really are and who you want people to remember you as. “If I love myself, I know I can't be no one else,” La Havas admits on the standout track, “Paper Thin.” She knows that she will meet her destiny and reach self actualization, but only through self love. And finally, I cannot overstate how breathtaking La Havas’s voice comes across on this album. The strength and control on display in her vocal tone and vibrato is quite a spectacle. 

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Start With: “Paper Thin” or “Sour Flower”

Limbo by Aminé  |  Hip-Hop and R&B Released: August 7, 2020

Best Album For... Trying and Get Over Kanye With

On Limbo, Aminé establishes himself as one of the torchbearers of soul-sampling, lyrics-driven hip-hop that still cares about storytelling, skits, and presenting vocals clearly. Kanye West, Drake, and J. Cole all paved the way for someone from the next generation like Aminé to keep the dream alive and avoid succumbing to the “feel good, don’t think” form of passive listening that mumble rap has made the standard for mainstream hip-hop.

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Start With: “Pressure In My Palms” or “My Reality”

Shore by Fleet Foxes  |  Folk and Indie Rock Released: September 22, 2020

Best Album For... Running Along The Beach With Your Arms Stretched Out

It was really kind of Robin Pecknold and co. to have released an album this triumphant, calming, and awe-inspiring during the year of our Lorde 2020. On behalf of myself and anyone else who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, the SAD people of the world really needed this, man. And to anyone who is quick to judge these beard-o’s of being boring, you’re simply not using your ears properly. Yeah, you know those two things on either side of your head? Get the gunk out of them! That way you’ll hear the choir of angels with acoustic guitars who are here to guide us through quarantine and beyond. 

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Start With: “Can I Believe You” or “A Long Way Past The Past” 

Listen to all of these albums together in our playlist.

#best music 2020 #music 2020 #best of 2020 #best albums 2020 #best new album 2020 #mac miller #pinegrove #okay kaya #denzel curry #kenny beats #zack villere #tame impala #knxwledge #dua lipa #orion sun #peach pit #yves tumor #the strokes #hamilton leithauser #tom misch #yussef dayes #hayley williams #perfume genius #moses sumney #nick hakim #run the jewels #westerman #phoebe bridgers #haim #liannelahavas

[strykingback]

ʌ: comfort after a nightmare - for Violet & Hermes would be nice!

Warning the following drabble will contain these trigger warnings: Gore, Abuse, Blood, Vivisection, etc. Please do not read this if you have the following triggers. 

Hermes was resting beside his lover Violet softly sleeping with her in their room together. The warmth of the pillow covering Hermes so quietly and like an embrace was just so comfortable to be in. If only he could see in her dreams that Violet could be having. 

Then what better dream for Violet than that of her holding her beloved Hermy in her arms kissing him whenever he was happy or sad. What better place than to be in than a field of flowers. “Mmm.. Hermy...” she softly spoke outside of her dream in such a tired voice. 

However for Hermes, it was not a dream more or so.. his torturous nightmare of when he was being experimented on like a rat. Just how he remembered it all.. being cursed with immortality, having his light magic taken away from him, his body in penultimate pain every time he moved (Luckily the pain subsided after the first thousand years or two). 

Being in his cave Hermes had not witnessed the End of Ancient Remnant, The Grimm Titan War, or the Great Resurgence, instead when he first walked out he had witnessed the blinding light of the sun for the first time in ages, and the floating city of Atlas. 

Going to investigate his body was totally in the nude due to his clothes deteriorating and people questioning what happened to him. His malnourished state, and others asking how was he even able to survive for that long. 

Hermes did not reply to no one but he was taken up by the Atlesian police and questioned, which he answered everything truthfully and honestly, but he also shown them that he was immortal. Their eyes could not believe it at first,.. just how fast he was able to heal. However if he held the secrets to immortality then the Atlesian military would want it. 

Thus, instead of being released he was sent to an unknown facility, little did he know.. this was the place where his torture would begin.  In the real world Hermes began to jerk and move around a bit softly moaning in anguished pain at the memories that were playing in his head once more.  “PIECE OF SHIT!!!”  “MOTHER FUCKING SACK OF BALLS!!!” “BEST MAKE US IMMORTAL!” “COME ON THEN CRAZY!!! ARENT YOU GONNA GET UP AND FUCKING FIGHT!”  Those were the insults that was thrown at him by the Atlesian soldiers that had shouted at him and made him feel like shit. Each punch they swung a flow of blood came from his mouth and nose, from each kick he felt his ribs getting cracked, and from each stomp his hands and fingers were broken.  Yet.. it always healed 

Back in the real world Hermes kept moving around  and this time what turned from moans turned to groan... yet he remembered something that he did not want to remember for so long.. his first Vivisection. 

He could remember the surge of pain that he felt and how he screamed so loudly when waking up to see his own organs being pulled out and played with, rivers of blood just dripping from it leaving even Hermes horrified at the sight as he threw up and fainted back into unconsciousness. 

Yet came the next part...of his first trial of being an experiment, the flaying of his skin, being hooked up to a machine that shot a stinging laser piercing into his soft tender like skin then just everything being pulled off... and Hermes witnessing his own muscle and veins.. all made him but horriefied as he fainted from the shock. 

Y̬e̝̣̪̻̩t̖̳͠ ͓̣̳̣i͏̜͖̙̬͚ͅt̤͖ ̡̳̤̰̹͇ͅa̛͚̠̖͙̦̦̭l̠̤͙̝̬̙w͍̳͇a̡y̢̟̳̱̹̺s͕͕͟ ̟͕̣̼͜h̸̤̝̤e͟a̴̖̫̹̞̫͔̩l̜̮̦̦e̛͖̩̩d҉͖̲̬ ̙̬̟̻̝̻

Coming next was his the R&D testing for newer weapons, he was tested like a rab lat meaning to run before he got blasted to bits, and nearly dying of course. Sometimes he succeeding surviving, sometimes he didnt which lead to him witnessing his own limbs getting blown off or being poisoned by biological warfare. 

Yͣ̏̚eͧ̈́͂̽ͭ͊̑҉͡t̛̂̆ͨͥͩͣ͏ ̿̓͠iͥ̈́ͩͧt̶̡ͪ̌ͣ̾ ̛͗ͣ͘a̓ͨͣ̏͋ļ̊̌ͬ̐w͌̐̒ͮͥ̅́a̴̴̎͛̃ͫ̎̋y̡͒͘͢s̸̓ͨ ͛̊̇ͫ͟hͫͧ̽̀͂̔̇e̢̾̊̇̐̌́a̸͑͂ͭ̐̾̊̏ļͩ́eͥ̈́̏ͫ̈́̓̉͆͜͞d̷ͪ̄̿́̾ ͛̊ͭ̃̈͛̆͢͝

Which out of Hermes’ dream he began to softly whimper and his breathing starting to quicken and his body growing goosebumps as his movement increased to the point where he was tugging on the blanket stirring Violet from her dream. 

Next was the constant silence of being alone for years as Hermes was beginning to break down the voices of the past all of them damning him for abandoning them all for his quest for playing God.  “Why Hermes.. why would you do this.” The voice of his wife spoke 

“You have tried to play as God Hermes, However you must learn about the beauty of life.. your beloved will be far from your reach..” The voice of the God of Light said. 

“Hermes please.. we want you to come home.. please... stop your experiments...” The voice of one of his fathers spoke in his mind. 

“I must... stay sane...” Hermes said weakly breathing heavily in a sweat, he clearly remembered what his room looked like how he had markings of each day on there, equations of a possible escape in the Ancient Remnant language, tally marks of each and every day that had passed. 

The next experiment was one that tested Hermes himself yet this experiment was so indescribable...even some scientists found it inhumane... and just.. a major violation of Hermes’ own human rights... feeding him to a Grimm Squid which not only took its time “playing” with Hermes.. but ripping him apart.. bit by bit. As always with his wounds and everything...

Y̸̔̍̂̑̔̂Ĕ̶̌͗ͤ̏͐ͪͨŢ̓͒ͦͭ̇ͤ̓̋͛̕ ̴̢ͬ͐̄I̢̍ͤ͒̇T̶̢͐͐͆͟ ̒̎͛͝Aͤͦͫ͒ͪ͌͂́L̢ͫͧ͐̓͂W͑̆̇͑ͯ͑͂͐́҉̸A̡ͣ̆͋̀Ẏ͐ͧͣ҉̢Ṡ͗͞ ͩͯ͠F̌ͬ͟U̒̚Č́͏́K͐͆̐̂̈I̛̽͐̒ͮ͊̎̾̓Nͩ̎̓ͦͮ̾̚G̴ͫ̎҉ ͥͦ̉̔̿҉̕͘H̡̾̂͑͜E̶̛̒͑̿͋̆ͭȦͨ͞Ļͣͦ̃̀E̵͗̂͋ͬ͛͊͒̓D̡͑̉ͫͯͦͭͯͩ͠!ͦ̿͆͠!ͩ́ͫ̍ͥ̆!̢̇̿̌̉͋ͥͩ͞!̔ͤ̋̂̿̅ͦ͏̕

Once again out of his dream Hermes, started to sweat profusely and move to the point where he began rip away the blanket as got on all fours... groaning with a bit of distortion to it... like a wild animal. Which when Violet stirred waking up moaning a bit. “Hermy... go to bed... ple- Hermy??” 

Finally the final experiment that broke him... that destroyed his mind entirely. The Semblance Limiter project he remembered the cool steel  being around his neck as he attempted to go full power and how he was no longer called Hermes.. only SUBJECT-731. 

And when he tried to go full power... and that first shock came through his brain and mind.. 

“YES!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA~!!! MORE PAIN!!! FUCK ME!!! KILL ME!!! I WANNA SEE MORE OF MY INNARDS!!! YOUR GOD DEMANDS IT!!!!” 

Hermes screeched at the top of his lungs causing every scientist to leave the room in horror... as he rushed the window slamming into it and licking it wildly like a wild animal. ...

Finally back in the real world, Hermes looked up to the sky and screamed loudly waking up crying and sobbing. “KILL ME!!! PLEASE!!! AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! MAKE ME FEEL SOMETHING GODS!!!!” Hermes screamed loudly causing Violet to wake up immediately and allowing herself  to quickly hug Hermes tightly. “Hermes!! Hermy!! Come back its me! Violet.. you’re okay! You’re okay!!” She pleaded which Hermes’ insane laughter came to an end looking at her with his expression softening up with tears flowing out of his eyes and quickly hugging her tightly. 

“It hurts.. It hurts.. It hurts.. It hurts.. It hurts...” Hermes  sobbed softly.  “Shh.. Hermy, its all over now ok.. its over.. You’re safe now.. you’re safe now..” Violet spoke rubbing her beloveds head and giving him plenty of kisses on the head. Yet.. while the wounds of old has healed.. the mind never forgets. But that doesnt mean every memory was bad. Hermes meeting Team RNJR and BOUT (Blade and Outsider), Merlinda helping him and every Atelier scientist making working to find a way to safely remove the Semblance limiter from his neck, The kindness of Louvel reaching out to him, and even better Exaltia and Cashmere soothing his insanity giving him a chance to regain his sanity. 

Finally the ultimate thing that truly helped his mind heal...being with Violet... thats what helped the most. He just stayed there until he was calmed down and sleeping again this time in Violets embrace.. just her embrace alone felt warmer than any blanket in the world. 

#xbloodsoakedx #[The Sane God- Sane!Hermes] #tw: gore. tw :vivisection #tw: blood #tw: abuse #//Hermes has been through the SHITTER #//And theres a good reason why he resents Atlas a lot.

[liathgray]

Okay what about dick Almost drowning and one of the other boys saving him and then they have to sit in the cold for evac but its taking /so damn long/ and the batbro is trying so hard to keep dick (and themselves) awake and coherent and warm, of course only if you want to

The horribly familiar sound of a knife sinking into spun steel was like hearing a nail rammed into a coffin. Dick felt the give of his line, the one that was— will have been — wrapped firmly around the landing skid of a pitch-black helicopter packed full of stolen viruses and software that had to potential to collapse half the worlds economy in less then a year. As the machine rose higher, it’s blades beating gravity down with a vengeance, Dick could feel his line shiver under the stress. It was splintering and his stomach dropped at the sight of the dark expanse of water below him. They’d flown out of their way to get rid of him.Permanently.Dick’s rope was already at its end, there was no getting closer to lessen the impact onto the… the ice.Of course the water was half frozen over.Fucking Gotham.

The one night he agreed to cover for Tim and it might be his last.Wonderful.Frantically he started trying to pull a flare from his belt, hastily sending a distress beacon as he went about wrenching at the cap with his teeth.His arm was going numb as the last wire holding his aloft began to fray.Dick yanked off the activation tab and plummeted downwards.Wind pulled at his hair and lungs, stealing his breath as quickly as it did his ground above the harbour.He tried to aim his back downwards but the rushing air continually pushed his head towards to rapidly approaching tundra.It was getting closer.Too close.Way too close.And with the closeness of the freezings waters and sheet of ice came the dawning realization that he wasn’t getting out of this.With only meters between him and hypothermia, Dick let out a desperate shout, twisting near violently to get his feet under him before a sickening crunch reached his ears.He felt his bones shattering, not clean breaks, pressing hard against his skin.In the micro second before he was plunged beneath the surface, the sheer amount of immediate pain knocked any remaining breath from him.The ice broke on impact, sending him in chilled waters.Dick’s body went ridged to the cold and he felt the fatigue settling into his limbs at an unprecedented pace.He was sinking. Fast.He couldn’t even force himself to move as water bit into his skin and pulled him deeper.Would they ever find his body?Dick felt a burn in his lungs, and the panic of being unable to breath spurred his muscles to draw on some reserve of adrenaline he apparently had.It had been, what, two minutes under now? Three?He couldn’t think straight.Dick tried to kick upwards to the shrinking dot of moonlight.Bad move.Pain radiated up his form from his broken legs.He placed a hand over his mouth to keep from gagging from the sudden sickness bubbling in his throat.Everything felt hot inside and frostbitten outside.He was starting to curl in on himself, nearly choking on the water slipping between his teeth and into his lungs.Everything hurt.He was tired and his vision was tilted.Dick blinked hard, trying to focus on that pinpoint of dull light that was rapidly vanishing.He was pushing six minutes, vision tunnelling and hazy buzz filling his ears.Slowly Dick pulled his hand away from his mouth, watching with horrified amusement as little bubbles rose from his lips, leaving him to suffocate. Distantly he heard thumps tracking above him, like footsteps, but…But it‘s so dark.He‘s exhausted.If he just closes his eyes for a second… just for a second… just for… just…

———————————————————

Heavy boots pounded against the ice of Gotham Harbour, steel toes leaving a trail of cleaved footprints.It was thick ice, about three and a half inches, which means it was thin enough to break with too much force but dense enough to do serious damage if you were dropped from a helicopter roughly ten stories up. Like Dick had been.The distress call had come in about five minutes ago, Jason had been two away.He’d arrived just in time to see a trail of pale yellow smoke following after something small and dark as it slammed into the mix of ice and liquid nitrogen. Followed by dreaded silence.No shouts, no splashes or gasps.Just silence.The three and a half inches of ice wasn’t thick enough to support his bike so he went on foot, cursing all the way.They damned ‘copter had flown nearly eight hundred yards out to drown their tail.Dedication, he had to admit, but it was about to get Dick killed.Differences aside, Jason doesn’t hate his predecessor. Thats not to say he’d really go out of his way for him, but he cares. Enough to hang out together every few weeks, enough to give a hand on a case or raid, and enough to not want him dead.Jason skidded to a stop at the fracture in the sea of tinted ice. Spiderwebs of cracks splintered out several feet from the hole, ones that would definitely give way under Jason’s weight.“Crap.”He yanked off his helmet and started tugging frantically at the sleeves of his jacket.As he stripped off a sweatshirt, his eyes were roaming with determination (desperation) around the landscape, looking for something— anything —sturdy.His eyes settled on a buoy frozen in place not to many paces away. With the press of a button he extends the entirety of his grappling line, the hooked end of which was tied onto the thin metal railing of the buoy, and the grip held tightly in his palm.“Okay,”He kicked off his boots, “okay. This’ll work. This’ll- yeah. Okay.”He put a rebreather between his teeth and jumped.Through the stinging cold, Jason swam down, drawing in as measured breaths as were to be expected in a situation this stressful. It was getting harder to see, his hands were numbing in the water.And he couldn’t see Dick.Silt and murk were muddling his vision and he was starting to panic.He was running out of time.Frantically he kept plunging downwards, slowing losing all sense of ocular awareness and relying mostly on touch to search for Dick’s body- for Dick.His hand brushed something solid and cool.Jason grabbed hold and pulled upwards, feeling along the form ‘til he had one arm hooked under his shoulder and held steady against his own chest.His line went taunt and began dragging two up.They broke the surface unceremoniously without shouts of victories or even a sputtering gasp.Jason spat out the rebreather and hauled Dick out of the water.He wasn’t breathing.“Shit.”The younger man tore off his glove and held two fingers to his neck.Weak pulse. Definitely filled his lungs with water on the trip down.And he’s not fucking breathing-Jason pulled Dick further from the weakened ice.He tilted the older vigilantes head upwards, pinching his nose and blowing air back into his lungs.On some level, it felt like he was defiling his, well, his brother. He should’t have to be doing this, having to do fucking rescue breaths for a comrade. He should’t have to think about him drowning or anyone else being killed every night. He could feel just how cold Dick’s skin was and the unnatural paleness to his complexion looked ghastly.“C’mon, dickhead.” He huffed, hysteria edging into his voice.“You’re too stubborn to go out like this.” A wet, strangled cough jerked through Dick’s chest, water bubbling from his mouth as he lurched onto his side.A wave of relief washed over Jason.He placed one hand on Dick’s upwards facing shoulder and the other on the small of his back to keep him steady.For minutes he sat there, keeping his brother in place as he threw up what had to be several liters of water.It was only then that Jason realized Dick was missing his mask.Probably loosened and tugged away by the will of the harbour. When the sickness seemed to pass, Jason straightened.“Hey,” he said, tightening his grip in a hopes to ground the other, “you with me?”Dick was out of it, clearly. His eyes were clouded and expression blank, but communication is helpful even if half-ass and uncertain.“Y-yeah,” he responded shakily, bracing one hand beneath him and trying to sit up.“I- shit,” Dick turned to the side and heaved. Once the tension and strain in his muscles from emptying his stomach faded, Dick practically folded in on himself.“Hey!” Jason shot forward, only just managing to kept him upright, sorta, letting the older lean against his side, an arm wrap firmly around his shoulder, “Dick? Hey, Don’t black out on me.”He heard the dull, rattling breaths plowing through Dick’s chest. The intense shivers and chattering teeth.“W-w-won’t,” he forced out between the chills running through him.“Good, cause we really gotta go.“ He snatched his jacket and sweater and off the ground, hastily wrapping Dick in both and shoving his feet into his— blessedly —dry boots.“You were under way too long and I’d rather get back before someone jacks my bike-““J-jay.” Dick interrupted breathlessly, “I c-c-c,” he swallowed back a gag and tried again.“I can’t.”Jason looked down, startled and a little confused, “What?”“M-m-my legs. I… F-fuck.”“Your… Oh.”Jason looked and felt something heavy drop in his stomach. A stone, maybe an anvil.“Christ…”They weren’t just broken. They looked like straws that some kid had been using like pipe-cleaners.Jason could feel icy beads dripping from his face as he stared in— in horror —at the mangled limbs.Possible nerve damage, months in casts and double the time in rehab. A hand was weakly pulling at the sleeve of his shirt.“Can’t wa-walk.”Dick was practically panting from the effort it took to speak, looking at Jason with tired, hazy eyes. Jason had a tendency to get tunnel vision, that was no secret. Added to the fact that he had been trying to, in effect revive, a sibling and you’re gonna have a preoccupied and shortsighted Jason. But this was something he shouldn’t’ve missed.“That’s… that’s fine. It’s not too far out. I can pull your dumb ass back in, ‘kay?”Dick stared at him blearily, blinking hard like he couldn’t get things into focus before nodding.Jason, still sitting back on his knees, drew Dick’s arms around his neck, holding them together at his sternum.“This is probably gonna hurt like hell but try not to move.”He slowly dragged himself and his brother up, wincing all the while because he could feel Dick pressing his forehead into his back and gritting his teeth hard enough to chip them. His breaths were coming in choked gasps and his shoulders were shaking worse then before.“You alright?” Jason asked.“No,” Dick replied weakly, “go.”He complied, taking long strides across the ice and peppered snow, hoping once again that no one stole his bike because otherwise they were screwed.Jason did all he could to ignore the crescents being cut into Dick’s palm as to refrain from crying out.About halfway across, Jason stumbled. His stupid boot had dug a rut into the ground and he tripped.The epitome of grace.As he regained his footing, he heard the sound of a breath hitching from his passenger. “W-why’re you ca-arryin’…” Dick shifted in his hold, “I-“ Jason felt some of the, weight lifted off his shoulders. As in, the literal weight.“Wh- Shit! Stop it!” Dick dropped back down, with what was dangerously close to being a sob. “Your legs are fucked, idiot! Did you forget about that?!” Jason shouted, feeling the first inkling of fear-driven anger bubbling in his stomach.“My..? Oh.”The confusion rolling from Dick was palpable.Jason began to trudge forward, fixing his gaze ahead where he could see his bike waiting.“H-head h’rts…”Dick mumbled between the intense inhales racketing his chest. “I know man, I know. Just keep your eyes open.”Memory loss. Bad sign. He was getting less coherent, which meant the wet uniform was making Dick quite accommodating to hypothermia.He pressed on, almost smiling when they reached his bike.But before he had the chance, he notice something.Some sick, twisted version of karma, or the universe just messing with him. Playing a gross practical joke.The fucking tires were missing.“Damnit!” He growled, kicking the absolutely useless vehicle.“What..?”He breathed out hard, eyes darting about for any signs of civility.Apparently, not to many decent people are hanging around this particular abandoned waterfront at three am.“Nothing, it’s nothing we-… we’re just gonna have to wait a bit.” He spotted a small tackle shop, about the size of those ticket booths at carnivals. Quickly as he could, Jason made his way over and kicked in the door.It was covered with layers of dust and mostly empty, save pile of well-loved plaid shirts and an old sign. The letters were too faded to make out, but it didn’t really matter.He ducked inside and pushed the busted up door shut, leaning the sign against it to keep out unwanted wind.Cautiously he let down his brother, leaning his back against a wall in a mostly upright position.Luckily Dick was still conscious.And feeling ever ounce of pain Jason inadvertently inflicted.“J-j-jay.”He stuttered, looking frustrated all the while.“Dickhead.” He deadpanned, leaning over to inspect the damage on his legs, and boy was it bad.“Hell. We’re gonna have to immobilize your legs Dick.”He pulled out a knife and started tearing the dusty old shirts into long strips.“W-wait,” Dick protested, shaking his head, “jus-s-…”He put a hand behind him to stay upright.Jason happily ignored him, instead choosing to yank the trimming off the door and line them up with Dick’s leg.Who was currently glaring at him through the exhaustion.Jason sighed, shooting the older man an almost pleading look.“Listen we can’t just leave them like this,““Sh-sh-shock.” Dick intervened, “Jay I-… I’ll.” He closed his eyes and tried in vain to slow the volatile rasps coming from his throat. “M’c-cold.”Jason hated the feeling creeping up in him. Just- just helplessness. Utterly helplessness.He’d sent out his own beacon during the trek to the tackle shack, and all he could really do was hope that someone was on their way.He backed away from the mess of skin and shattered bone“Okay.” he raised his hands in a surrender, “Okay, Dick. Just… I’m not gonna touch ‘em, yeah?”He settled besides Dick, allowing their shoulders to press against one another for warmth and maybe his own reassurance.The shaking wasn’t coming in intervals of intensity anymore, it was just a constant hum of trembling.Every few seconds Jason found himself looking down to make sure Dick was still awake. After a while he started to ramble. Not about anything in particular, just because he knew even if he was completely fine and not slowly shutting down due to freezing temperatures, Dick would be falling asleep from the stillness and silence of the room.He draped an arm across Dick’s shoulder and leaned him into his side without a problem and that was kinda the scary part.Even as he pushed through some random idea he had a few nights ago, there was a growing discomfort. Because Dick was always the one talking. He was always the one to protest and make conversation. His brother was an insanely stubborn person. Had he been even a little coherent he would’ve insisted that Jason stay in his comfort zone of almost exclusively touch through combat and antagonist rather then this. This is what scared him.That and the fact that Dick’s lips were so blue they looked pained and his skin looked like wax. “M’tired.” A soft voice broke his train of speech and he was suddenly aware of the absence of gasps and shivering.“Shit,” Jason could feel panic skipping down his spine.Dick’s body is shutting down. “M’really tired.” Breathing is way too shallow. “shit.”Jason shook him slighting, “Don’t sleep.” He demanded, gripping Dicks shoulder tight enough to bruise. Dick didn’t even have the energy to pull away.“Jay… it’s c’ld.”Jason felt like throwing up. Or hitting something. Where the hell are the rest of this stupid towns vigilantes?!A hand weakly held the hem of his shirt, “H’rts…. tired..”“Don’t sleep. Dick, listen to me. Don’t fucking sleep.” He watched uselessly as Dick blinked, long and slow, turning his head to stare up at Jason. “S’rry.”He slumped forward.Jason fumbled to keep him from knocking his head against the floorboards.“Fuck.” He muttered, he voice shaking more then he would ever admit, pulling Dick’s limp form closer in a last ditch attempt to keep him warm.He tucked his brother’s head against his shoulder, keeping one hand against his neck, feeling his pulse as is slowed.He stayed like that, trying not to panic, keeping two fingers firmly pressed into Dick’s clammy skin.Counting the beat drumming gently beneath it. He doesn’t know how long he stayed frozen in place like that. He could barley concentrate on anything other then the cold dread seeping into his stomach.There was a timid knock as someone pushed the door open.“Cass,” he breathed, exhaustion and pent-up fear flooding out. “He’s not- I couldn’t- We gotta go.”She nodded silently, taking a little less then half of Dick’s weight, slinging his arm over her shoulder with an arm on his waist. They pulled him across the snow-specked ground towards an empty, very cracked, road. Jason could hear the roar of a car ringing through the air.“He’ll be okay.” Cass reassured, tapping his hand with her own.“You did what you could.” Jason drew in a sharp breath. “He’s hypothermic and busted to hell.”She huffed, “You did what you could.”“Yeah. Might not be enough.”He watched the Batmobile (still a stupid name…) pull up and he and Cassandra laid Dick inside alongside Jason who Cass insisted needed to go too.“You’re shaking,” she pointed out with a frustrated glare, “and you’re tired.”Jason grumbled but complied. She gave him a hard, somewhat understanding look as the car peeled away. She mouthed a single word as she began to fade from view. “Rest.”Jason sunk down into his seat miserably.Easier said then done.Fucking Gotham.

#jason todd #dick grayson #batfamily #NOT JAYDICK U FUCKS #hope this is good :) #anyways back to being a ball of sunshine #dc dcomics #red hood #nightwing #nightwing fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #i need a tag for asks so bam

[ancanosaur]

•Without a shadow of a doubt•

Chapter one: A Temple of Memories.

The temple was building of old creaks and sounds that echoed through the halls in the night. Despite their past reputation and the swollowing cold that surrounded their temple, the Lin Kuei had welcomed you with great open arms and the warmth of family.

You don't remember much of what happened. You remember the roaring engine and slashing blades of a helicopter. The wind was warm on your cheeks, the sky giving off a golden glow of orange that signaled dayligh'ts final hours. Your body ached, temples were throbbing. "We're in the clear General, mission accomplished." A woman's voice spoke over you, your (E/C) orbs searched up, finding a blonde looking down at you. "Don't worry, we got you." She smiled softly. Her eyes were an ocean blue and filled with hope. "Cassie." A man's voice was heard, making the blonde look up at an older man, his hair a light brown with a bit of salt and pepper in the sides. "Let's get them hooked up." He said.

You suddenly felt your body lift from the ground and onto what felt like a hospital bed, your finger tips finding soft thin sheets as the buckles around your waist were tightened, a soft prick in your arm made you give a gasp of weak air, looking over to see the man placing an IV needle in your arm and sticking a bit of tape over it, keeping it in place. "Sorry kid, gotta keep you alive and hydrated." He patted your shoulder, giving a smile. "It's good to have you back." He said finally. "Let's head out, Jacquie!" Cassie called to the front of the copter.

That's all you could remember. Besides landing at base and being greeted by many smiling faces. The ones that rescued you saying that they were close friends and teammates of yours. You thought back to their happy faces, sitting around you in the hospital room. They all said that you were all close, the best of friends, and yet you couldn't think of their names. Their features all gained a veil of grief as you shook your head at them. The older man spoke up as the youngers went qiuet. "That's okay Y/N." He gave a smile. "You just get a chance to get to know us all over again." It gave the others a bit of hope.

A knock at the door pulled you out of your thoughts. You sat up from your spot on the bed and quickly made your way over to slide open the door seeing a young woman's face. "Frost." You gave a smile. She returned it in more of a small smirk. "I brought you dinner." The snowy haired girl spoke, holding up a trey of steaming food. You gave her a gracious smile, taking the trey from her and allowing her in as you sat the trey down on the dark wood of your night stand. "So when are you going to get back to helping me with the kiddies?" She said, her bare feet making icey patches on the stone floor. "You're bothered." You meet her cool blue eyes as you sat on the bed. Frost looked at you for a moment before letting out a chilling sigh, the air from her lungs thick and smokey as she took a seat beside you. "Grandmaster send me, wanting to know are you're doing and everything," Her posture was hung low, her arms crossed over her knees. "See if you remember anything."

The food on your night stand still smoked with freshness as you eyed it. You looked back at Frost, trying to find the words. You wanted to be truthful. But another part of you simply wanted to tell her the things she and the Grandmaster wanted to hear. "You don't eat as much as you should." She commented, seeing you just looking at the plate of meat and vegetables seeming unbothered.

"I just feel like i dont need it." You answered after a moment, moving your gaze to the cold tile floors. "Well, you do." The Cryomancer said in a caring yet slightly forceful way, something that was just part of Frost's charm. She see's your jaw clenched for just a moment. "It would hurt a lot of people's feelings if you starved to death." She nudge you, making you gain a low smile for just a moment.

You wish you could remember being apart of the clan and the your team, you wish you jad those memories. But you simply didnt. "Ill feed you if you dont eat." Frost finally said. That made you shake your head and give in with a smile. "Alright, alright." You pulled the trey into your lap, picking up the spoon and stirring around the small bowl of stew that was on the side before taking a bite. "There, now we can keep you." She gave a smile.

You finished your plate and sat it to the side. You and Frost had began talking about the temple gossip that you had apparently missed. Like that one of the guards, Tao had the hots for a Shiria Ryu memeber that always came with Master Hasashi for sparring training, she said his name was Atomu and that you should ask Takeda about him once you join back up with your SF team.

"Frost?" You ask after a moment of silence between the two of you. "Hm?" She looked up at you. "What..." you puased, unsure of how to really word the question. "What happened to me?" You looked at her, metting her gaze.

Frost's shoulders tighted up for a moment before loosening g up again. Her crystal eyes looking to the grey brick of the floor for a moment like she was hoping the carving in the tile would answer for her.

"You died."

She finally answered, and you felt dizzy for a moment. "I-i what?" You looked at her, "Frost, i couldnt have. Im right-" "here. You're here now." She looked at you firmly. "And thats all that matters." She let out an irritated huff but her sharp features began to soften as she looked back at you.

You just sat there, looking at the ground. Chewing on your lips like gum. "How?" You finally asked, not meeting her eyes. "You," she looked down at her hands, picking at her nails, a nervous habbit of hers. "Were with your team, everything was going smoothly and then an ambush happened." She sighed. "You took a knife and...that was that." She said abruptly, not wanting to talking about the details.

Your fingers were clutched tightly into the bed below you, the world feeling like it was spinning around you, until a hand found your shoulder. "But we got you back." Frost said, her grip firm on you. "That's all we wanted."

Time passed and Frost had left you for the night. The wool blankets wrapped around keeping you warm as you begin to drift to sleep, the candle at your bedside still burning.

Everything was nothing but pitch black around you, your body was just a drift in nothingness, it was warm nor cold. Just nothing until a pair of large hands found their way to gripp your arms, seeming to hold you in place in this endless darkness. You're eyes were open, but they saw nothing in this dark place as the hands traveled up, sliding against your skin and up to hold your face. "A lost little spirit..." the voice was deep, yet it echoed like the hissings of snakes. You felt fingers run through your hair and tilt your face to the side. "I'll take you in..." the voice whispered.

You sat up in your bed, letting out a gasp as if you had been under water. Your hand found your heaving chest, your heart desperately trying to escape your ribcage as it pounded against your sternum.

You looked around your small dark room, recognizing it as yours, aiding you in calming from your dream. You let out a deep sigh, closing your eyes for just a moment before the smell of smoke caught your attention.

The candle that was one lit was now out and it was still smoking as if it had just been blown out. You eyed it for a moment, until you were able to tell yourself that your sudden movment from waking up had blown the candle out. You shook your head. It was just a dream, a weird dream that had left you with this chill of familiarity. But a dream nonetheless.

You sank back down in your bed, until you felt something cold on the side of your face, making you feel for whatever it was against your skin. You lifted you hand up into the moon light to see somthing dark on your fingertips making you jump and rush over into the bathroom, flipping the switch on, thinking you were going to see the crimson red of blood once you looked in the mirror. But what you saw made you shiver. A Jet black hand print was perfectly framed against your jawline, the thumb was smeared as it had been rubbing against your cheek.

You didnt know what to think or do, so you simply grabbed a wash cloth, turning the water on in the sink and soaking the cloth til it was dripping and looked back up into the mirror to wash the hand print away only to see it already disappeared.

You dropped the cloth into the water, backing up into the wall giving a shaking sigh with your hands to your head. Maybe you were losing it? Maybe you were slowly dying again. Maybe- you took a deep breath. Remembering what Grandmaster had taught you, 'In a time of storm, find a shelter. In the time of doubt find hope.' You took a few deep breaths. 'In a time of panic, find peace.' You gained control of your breathing, calming your racing heart. Being thankful for your master's words.

Then a thought popped into your mind. If there was anyone to talk to about this, anyone who would have knowledge about life after death, it's him.

You flipped the light switch off, casting the room back into darkness once more as you made your way back under your sheets. It was decided then. You would speak to him first thing in the morning.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I hope you guys like the first chapter. I wanted this to be kind of a Slowish kind of burn maybe. We'll see. We get to talk to Subby in the next chapter so that should be fun :) and like let me know if you want a smut chapter because lmao idk tell me

Ill also start working on other characters i wanna write for becuase theres a big lack in MK reader inserts my doods. I feel like this chapter is a bit rough, but i havent written a full length fic like this in a hot minutes. So hopefully it'll get better. And all fics i write and will write are gender neutral reader becuase like all genders have the right to fuck hot shadow wraiths and that's just tea☕

Please forgive any grammar/spelling mistakes!

-Onyx♤

#my writing #mk #mkx #mk11 #mortal kombat #mk reader insert #mk11 noob saibot #mortal kombat noob saibot #mk noob saibot #noob saibot #bihan #mk bi han #bi han #noob saibot x reader #noob saibot headcanons #noob saibot imagines #mk x reader #bi han x reader #lin kuei #subzero imagine #subzero headcanons #mk subzero #mk frost #kombat kids #subzero x reader

[kurozu501]

just got back from seeing Thor Ragnarok and… im not sure if i liked it? Its a damn weird movie. spoilers below.

I saw an article saying mark ruffalo was worried the silly tone of this movie wouldn’t really fit with the rest of the mcu. having seen it, i can really see why he was worried.

like this is easily the darkest thor movie. The super special hammer gets broke. Odin dies. Thor loses an eye. The heroine of our group is an alcoholic. Asgard gets blown to dust, and countless people die on screen in horrible ways. Hela alone kills a shit ton of people on screen by impaling them with blades. sex is brought up repeatedly, such as the stupid orgy spaceship. And yet at the same time that its easily the darkest thor movie, with tons of fucked up shit happening in it, its also trying, so, so hard, to be the funniest thor movie. 

The film opens on a joke, and ends on a joke. When thor loses his eye, instead of it being treated like the serious, dramatic moment it is, Hela makes a joke about him looking more like odin now. The psychopathic grandmaster guy executes someone right in front of us. We watch the poor guy beg for his life, and then dissolve, screaming, and literally 1 second later the film is making a joke out of it. Thor and Loki have a serious talk about how they’ve grown apart and we cant hold that tone for even a minute before its on to the next joke.

At the end of the movie Thor is taking the refugees of asgard to earth, seemingly unconcerned about the fact that his ship is also carrying Loki, who personally lead an alien invasion into new york that killed hundreds if not thousands of people, and Hulk, who killed dozens, if not hundreds of people in his aou rampage. Thor isnt worried, their crimes have already been brushed off and forgiven through humor apparently. 

Hell, Banner seemingly sacrifices the last of his humanity to help save the asgard people, as its established that turning into the hulk again could be permanent, and he’s still stuck as Hulk by the end of the film. Yet no weight is given to this, and its not treated as anything serious. We just needed a cool hulk shot for the ending team thor lineup i guess, don’t worry about that guise. he’s probably fine.

Really, thats the problem with this movie, it wants to do tons of dark, serious stuff but it also wants to be ridiculous and silly and funny. It’s like someone tried to mash lord of the rings together with guardians of the galaxy: the resulting combo works in some places, and certainly manages to be funny in places, but it undercuts the drama, making it weak at best and downright cringe worthy at worst. It almost felt like the humor was making light of the dark stuff in gross ways.

I felt nothing when Odin died, it felt abrupt and sudden, with no build up. Pretty obviously just there to start the plot. When the sniveling coward who’d worked for Hela all film finally redeemed himself, i should have felt for him, but the tone of his sacrifice is jarringly disrupted by him using human machine guns to do ridiculous things like parry sword strikes. When thor unlocked his true power i was hyped for a second that his fight with hela was going to finally get intense and awesome, but instead it turns into a cheesy rock music montage of him and his buddies easily blowing through her mooks. Instantly, all tension vanishes.

If Civil War was marvels badly handled attempt at grappling with the responsibilities that should come with superheroes, this movie felt like the opposite extreme of “consequences? what consequences? never mind responsibility, never mind all the people loki killed before, never mind the people suffering wheeee look fun and explosions and jokes wheeeeee”

idk. It had its good parts, Cate Blanchet turned in a stellar performance as the sadly underused and underdeveloped Hela, I liked the valkyrie, the stuff it did with Banner/Hulk was kind of interesting, and before the narrative let loki off the hook for everything i liked the thor+loki development. I just wish this movie had chosen lighter material if it wanted to be such a whimsical and silly romp. 

#hela proves the gilgamesh principal that blade spam is the ultimate superpower and should be feared #Thor 3 #MCU #criticism #idk overall it was still fun and enjoyable but man… those tone issues

[dankgioia]

So, this post isn't about frank but, Ryan was kneeling in the bathtub, a towel under his knees and another under his hands, his head turned as he craned his neck to watch Brendon working. The younger boy swirled the spoon around in the over-large bowl before tapping it against the rim and laying it on the counter. "You know it'll cool down a little once I get it in the bag, but is that good?" Brendon bent over next to the tub so Ryan could slowly dip two fingers into the bowl, nodding once. "It's fine." Brendon nodded again, reaching out to stroke Ryan's hair before standing back up and returning to the sink, where all of the equipment was spread out. The hook was already hanging from the shower curtain so Brendon could hang the bag as soon as it was full. "Go ahead and take the plug out, baby." His voice was soft, gentle. "And start with your fingers." It was the gentlest of their "darker" interludes. No name-calling or hair pulling or punishments for noises of pain. It hurt enough on it's own, was degrading enough on it's own, Brendon didn't need to add anything to that. Brendon felt a small tremor run through his body as he heard the soft moan coming from the bathtub, knew the other boy had just extracted the plug. He glanced up at the mirror, watching the boy set the glass plug on the edge of the tub next to the bottle of lubricant. Ryan picked up the bottle, desperate to fill himself as he opened it, dripping some of the lubricant onto his fingers and rubbing them. It was cold to the initial touch, but warmed up as his fingers moved. "You're so fucking hot like that, baby," Brendon purred, from the sink where the bag was nearly half full. "Now, go ahead." Ryan flushed warm from the compliment, his wrist sliding down along his waist, hipbone, the curve of his ass. And then his fingers were poised, resting against his entrance before pressing in. He was already loose from the plug so it was an easy intrusion. He didn't even bother with more lubricant before pressing a third finger in, moaning outright at the stretch. He started as he heard the click from Brendon hanging the bag. "Already?""Don't sound so disappointed," the boy chided softly. "You can keep your fingers in for a second." He almost added a soft 'slut', but stopped himself. Brendon leaned down, reaching for the bottle of lubricant, letting himself hover over Ryan for a moment, his breath tickling the back of the boy's neck. "Just think about everything I'll do after," he whispered before straightening back up and slicking lube across the tip of the nozzle and his own fingers. "Okay." Ryan whined, but slowly pulled his fingers out anyway. He wasn't empty for longer than a few seconds, Brendon's fingers immediately sliding over his opening before pressing in, then pulling out to press in the tip of the nozzle. "Breathe," he murmured, fingers running down the boy's spine. "I'm going to now, okay?" "Wait," Ryan choked out. "I'm going to now," Brendon repeated, voice a little harder this time. "You're fine." He kept his fingers running along the boy's spine as he loosened the clamp.Ryan bit his bottom lip, moaning as he felt the first rush of the warm milk sliding into his body. The beginning of the enema was always like Brendon's fingers were now, smooth and soft almost. The cramps would come soon enough, but Brendon's fingers would still be the same. When they started, one of Ryan's hands flew up to his stomach and Brendon stopped the flow without a word, letting the other boy massage his abdomen to ease the pain. "Just tell me." "Okay," Ryan whispered, his hand still on his stomach. Brendon loosed the clamp again and Ryan felt the warmth continuing to enter his body. He continued to try to massage away the dull ache of the cramps as he felt his stomach slowly begin to expand from the amount of liquid he'd taken. "Stop," he choked out again. He wasn't supposed to ask how much, but he was desperate to know. He'd felt like he'd taken half already, but he knew it was probably more like a quarter of the bag. "Bren?" he asked, voice close to cracking. "I-I . . . Brenny." His voice was weak. "You're doing great, baby." The boy leaned down, letting soft kisses feather along Ryan's lower back. "So good." The tears were starting to build up. Ryan could feel them in his chest, waiting there, another ache in his body. "I don't . . . I . . ." He let his head fall forward, trying to slow his breathing, trying to focus on Brendon's fingers instead of the liquid inside him. "Okay," he whispered,voice cracking as the first tears slid down his cheeks. The flow continued and Brendon slowed the flow without a say so after five minutes or so. "You're taking it so well, Ry," he cooed. "You've got half." He usually didn't tell Ryan how much he'd taken, but it had been awhile since they'd done this and he didn't want the boy to break before he managed to get both quarts in. "Half?" Ryan asked, voice timid, as if he wasn't sure if he should be relieved or disconcerted. "Mhmmm." Brendon leaned forward, letting his lips kiss the back of Ryan's neck, then between the boy's shoulder blades. "Are you ready for more?" When Ryan hesitated, Brendon squeezed his hip. "You can take it, baby. You've done this before." Ryan's head nodded a fraction of an inch, his breathing already labored. He gave a small squeak as the milk started slipping into his body again. "Please, please, I can't." He shook his head, the tears coming out for real now. Brendon clamped the nozzle again. "I can't, Bren, please. I . . . I need to . . . please."The younger boy reached his hand down to Ryan's stomach, the curve of a belly that wasn't there usually. "I know you can take this," he said, voice low but not angry or disappointed. "I know you can, Ry." He let their fingertips brush. "But I won't make you," he added. "It's up to you." Ryan hated that. It would have been so much easier to go along with it if Brendon hadn't give him the choice. Now it was up to him to decide if he wanted to be selfish and disappoint his boyfriend and not get rewarded or just go along with it and deal with the pain. "I'll try," he mumbled weakly, squeezing his eyes shit and biting his bottom lip between his teeth as he felt the flow again. Brendon slipped his hand down Ryan's stomach to wrap around his cock, gently stroking, trying to turn the whimpers that the older boy was now making into moans. "So good, baby," he kept whispering over and over. "You're taking it so good." "H-Hurts," Ryan choked out. "Break?" Brendon locked the clamp again, letting Ryan rub at his stomach and try to catch his breath. "It's almost all in," he said gently, still stroking the other boy's erection. "Just a little bit more. I know you can take it, Ry." "How much?"The question hung heavy in the air for a moment. Ryan wasn't supposed to ask and he knew it, but he also knew Brendon never spanked him or punished him during an enema, so the worst possibility was simply that the other boy wouldn't tell him. "Probably four ounces," Brendon answered finally. "I'm going to start it again, okay? You can take this all in one go." Ryan nodded, gritting his teeth and counting silently in his head, hoping it wouldn't take longer than a minute to finish. He was only a few seconds over when the flow stop and Brendon planted a kiss to the small of Ryan's back. "I'm going to switch it out for the plug, okay? Keep it in." Ryan tightened his muscles, his toes curling as he did so. It hurt, tensing up along with the dull ache in his abdomen. Even with all his tightening, a little bit of the milk/water mixture escaped, sliding down the inside of his thigh. Then the plug was in and he could relax his muscles, but only somewhat. Brendon picked up a washcloth and wiped at the liquid that had slid down Ryan's skin. It wouldn't be too long, Ryan knew, but it always seemed an eternity. Five minutes or ten minutes could feel like hours. Brendon's fingers slid up Ryan's back until they were twisted, gently, in his hair. "I can't wait to get you on the bed," he said thickly, voice low and gravely. "Gonna shove my tongue in you so deep, baby."Ryan moaned outright, despite the dull pain in his muscles and stomach. It was a low moan, soft, but a moan nonetheless, and Brendon smiled at the sound. "Is that what you want?" the younger boy continued in the same tone. "You want my tongue in you, want me fucking your ass with my mouth? You're going to taste so fucking good, baby." His fingers tightened slightly in Ryan's hair. Not enough to cause any pain, just enough to make the boy gasp, then moan again. "Then I'll fuck you. So hard, baby, so God damn hard. So deep inside you. And then you'll take my come in your pretty mouth." Ryan was whimpering, his hips moving ever so slightly, squirming. "P-Please?" he choked out. "Please?" He was begging for release. He knew it hadn't been long enough, but if Brendon kept it up, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold it in. "I think you can hold it for another couple of minutes." But Brendon let go of Ryan's hair and sat back slightly, just letting his hands run slowly up the boy's sides. The older boy was quiet, just a few whimpers leaving his mouth, but still squirming. Brendon let his hands slip lower until he was firmly squeezing Ryan's ass in both hands. "Almost, baby. Almost." Thats all im doing, sorry not sorry ~shelby

[mysticmysterywrites-blog]

Prompt #9

My character is rude and crass and kind of a bitch, and when she see's an obvious run away with a fever sick off their ass on the bus she absolutely does /not/ have them come home with her so she could make sure they get better. Or well, if she does she is absolutely kicking them out the moment they get better.

Obviously she's not gonna grow attached, let them stay through the new year, and then unintentionally basically adopt them.

Obviously.

I'm thinking your character is somewhere in the 9-15 range, because I don't think a five year old has the emotional or mental competence to be a runaway. Also, I set this in the middle of winter, Christmas time, because the human mind wants for what it cannot have. The same reason I write beach episode roleplay prompts in the middle of winter.

Regardless, my character has two partners she lives with, a man about 2 years older then her and a trans man thats been on T for about 7 years at the time of the roleplay, and has had top surgery. The first partner has dark skin, with long dreads and vivid brown eyes. He's a bit reserved, if not a bit of a nerd. The second has blonde hair he keeps in a mohawk, a few tattoo's scattered up his arm and back, and pale skin with a sharp Boston accent. He's a dumbass. A big ol' dumb boi who has done a lot of stupid shit in his life. She personally has long, black hair, with toned skin and green eyes. She walks and talks a big talk, but also is a massive fucking hypocrite in that regard. Like, mind you she'd probably stab a bitch is she was cornered, but she has her soft spots.

Also, names. Those are important. The woman's name is Laius. Partner with dreads is Osamu, and partner with the mohawk goes by Ari.

God, riding on the fucking bus sucked.

Riding on the bus especially sucked when her stop was the last of the night, and she had to ride for a fucking hour to and from her job. It was a twenty minute drive there from her house, and she knew it was a twenty minute drive because normally she had a fucking car. But Some asshole thought it was a good idea to go street racing in the middle of the night, on possibly some of the worst roads she'd seen in years. Like, really- It had practically been a blizzard for the last week or so.

And you know. It wasn't like she was about to get her car out of the shop until the end of the week. Which was- fine, completely dandy, she supposed. She was off for the next- What, week or so, so that wasn't the issue. And no, money wasn't really the issue. Now, mind you she was peeved that she HAD to pay what she did for her cars repairs. But for the most part, what did annoy her was that she had to spend an /hour on the fucking bus are you kidding me./

She huffed. She'd spent most of the ride indulging herself with a shitty old pink DS and a copy of Pokemon Emerald. Perfect shiny hunting opportunity, even if it felt like she was getting absolutely nowhere with her hunt. Shame on her for picking Mawile, of all things, she supposed. But she WOULD have Cherry-Vore by the end of the week she could feel it-

Still, there was another thing preoccupying her mind. Near over the entire bus-ride, she'd been sitting across from a kid. which, in itself, wasn't a miracle. She'd seen many'a'kid in her day. Most of them were brats, But this kid looked like. Sick. Like, genuinely sick. It was the kind of sick that she'd stay home from work for. And she didn't stay home from work for shit. She could see the way their breathing seemed to labor and heave, and how bright red their face was under the hood of their jacket.

Just a jacket, she noted. It was like 5 degree's out, and they only had on a /hoodie./ Also, they'd been here since this morning. That was a huge, big ol' red flag.

Not that any of it was really any of her business. So, some shitty parent let their child wander off too far, or forgot them on the bus. It wasn't something she needed to concern herself with.

Except, she had vivid flashbacks to- What, 7 or 8 years ago? 18 years old with only the cash she could shove in her pockets, and a shitty van with just herself in it. She'd gotten so sick at some point that she needed to stop at a motel in the middle of nowhere, heaving her stomach out into the toilet with the poor minimum wage worker rubbing between her shoulder blades. Notedly, she'd later end up fucking the dude, and he was kind of living with her now. But still, the memory in itself was bitter, and she'd made a few stupid choices that could have ended worse then it had that night.

She pursed her lips.

It wasn't any of her business, It wasn't any of her business.

She spiked up the volume on her headphones, and turned her attention back to the game at hand. She clicked her tongue.

Another Golbat.

--

Here's the thing. She would have been completely fine just leaving the kid on the bus and tricking herself into thinking they would have just been fine. After all, it was pretty damn easy to fool yourself when you didn't have to see something straight on. It was a completely different ball game when the last stop of the night was yours, and they were forced off of the bus with you.

"Hey," The bus driver would nudge the kid, looking something between peeved and concerned, "Last stop, you need to get off now."

The kid wasn't any of her business. Especially not as she shuffled off the bus, and watched at the poor groggy thing was forced to follow her. It was not her business, as they both stood and watched the bus drive off. And it was not her business, as they seemed to fall dizzy while still standing in their spot.

It was, absolutely one hundred percent not her business.

She breathed out.

Fuck it, tomorrow was Christmas Eve.

"Hey kid, do you have like- A place to go tonight?"

---

A shiver went down her back, and not because she'd shifted over the large, faux fur coat she'd worn out today over to the kid, letting them wear it over their backpack and shit. That is absolutely, under no means something she'd so. Still if it was, by any chance of the means, something she would have done, she would be entirely too eager to get inside her apartment.

But that was, of course, not her, and the fur coat wrapped tightly around their shoulders was not something she'd given up about half way through their walk home.

"'Lright kid, here's house rules," She turned heel to look at them, an eyebrow raised and a frown on her face, "First of all, if you steal anything and run, I will personally come and find you. I gotta lotta shit sitting around, I know. But I /will/ notice if something is missing," She pulled out the key to her apartment let it fall through her fingers a few times, "Secondly, you're in like- goddamn quarantine right now. I got way too much shit to do to get sick within the next week. We're gonna get you hooked up with a room, and you're in there until you leave," She huffed, "Finally, and most importantly, talk shit about either of my partners and you will be out of here faster then I can say howdy do. No trans jokes, especially under this roof. I know thats like, cool and hip with the kids, but Absolutely none of that shit, got it?"

Finally, she turned back around to the door, fucking with the lock and key for a good few seconds. It always got stuck, shit, "Other then that, you're free to the food in the kitchen, Tv has too many channels but literally nothing fucking on, and the password to my tablet is "1985," one hundred percent based on the Bowling for Soup song. Are they past your Era? Shit," She seems to consider it for a moment, though the shit seems more based on he fact that the door won't OPEN then it is the thought. Almost immediately, she seems to be going back on her original statement, with a sharp, "I don't know, maybe you can hang out and watch some shitty Christmas movies with us tonight if you want... Kids are into that, right? Fuck, I'm an adult and I'm into that. But like- After that, you're quarantined. Oh, /fuck/ finally."

"Now," She opened the door to her place, finally managing to just bump it open with her hip, "Merry Christmas kid, into the apartment."

#cherubplay #Laelia/okami/floant prompt

[wrestlezon]

aew rampage 9/30/22 liveblog containment zone

dawdled too long picking out grocery store sushi so im like a full 20 minutes late. livebloggin for reals this time tho i got iced tea and everything im amped

acclaimed vs butcher and the blade vs private party

nooo so mean to butcher and the blade dont diss them and their band ;o; us watching caster hold his leg up for the tag team move: lmao?? very excited to see the acclaimed have a new special move: dick and ball destruction its supposed to be a scissor thing but still lmao its nice seeing private party and the butcher/blade wrestle again their little back and forth was pretty cool

backstage with the firm

the gunn club are being sassy backstage. mean to ftr etc etc oh theyre gunnin for the acclaimed huh! we want mjf to interact with max caster soooo bad but

backstage with jade

oh shes so mad. jade on fire oh no its vickie...... oh!!! nyla vs jade!!

lee moriarty vs fuego del sol

dark moriarty is here lmao fuego also has a dark mask. dark fuego its been a while since ive seen fuego. im a fan of the luchas. i also like fuego because he is a silly jobber guy

backstage with hangman and dark order

uno and 10's new masks... i dunno if i like them LMAO maybe i just need to get used to them. they are spookier than their usual ones thats for sure oh no andrade is here causing trouble again. a 10 vs andrade match, mask vs leave-aew-forever? i guess we're gonna see 10's hot face on tv now seriously. he is pretty cute if youve seen him on the wrestlevlogs the firm being catty gossips!! causing trouble! i love ethan page and im glad hes causing trouble with stokely now instead of... dan lambert seriously. what a huge upgrade.

help this ep is moving too fast i cant liveblog it well enough. the iced tea isnt enough. though its probably because im skipping the commercial breaks. thats valuable typing time im missing out on

willow nightingale vs jamie hayter

oh HECK yes now this is the match i was waiting for willow :)c whoaaa jamie hayter's outfit looks soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good omgggg GIRL YESSS FIGHTTT VIOLENCE why are they not giving willow nightingale all the contract money >:( i hope it is just because wlilow doesnt want a contract and not the other way around. you never know whats goin on behind da scenes AOUGHGHHH NO!!! NOT THE RAMPAGE COMMERCIAL JUMPSCARE DURING THE JAMIE/WILLOW MATCH!!! anyway im enjoying this match. i think theyre gonna make hayter win to push her which sucks because i really like willow ;o; dont make willow job all the time!!!! noooo willow lost... it makes sense.........

warjoe video promo

warjoe is a pretty cute tag team name tbh! also man how cool must it be for wardlow to be tagging with the legend samoa joe.......

in ring promo with ryan nemeth

"not from Philadelphia" LMAO his titlecard tagline hook is here to save us from ryan nemeth heel actions murdered oh! the trust busters are here... are they trying to recruit hook... no way

swerve video promo

its kind of funny/weird how everyone is like "swerve is really really mad about that whole acclaimed thing guys" meanwhile not a primary source in sight, not a word or even a v/o from swerve like true he IS too busy doing cool guy stuff and its not like theyre gonna send a video/audio team off da clock but still

moxley/hangman video promo

:)c yay!! cut a promo against each other LMFAO THE END... "hangman youre in moxley's hometown btw" "aw fuck"

prematch promo with the dark order vs andrade

john silver: "yall are kinda obsessed with 10 lately and its p. creepy btw." that means a lot coming from john silver of the dark order. theyre experts on being creepy perverts alex reynolds and john silver rule. i love the dark order

(upcoming match announcements)

yay!! mjf vs yuta! ohhh!! toni athena willow vs britt baker serena ohhh!! pac vs trent!!!!!!!! TRENT PROMO!!! "and when you hurt one of our friends, we gonna hurt you. we do it legally though. because we're nice boys" the best friends should always be doing promos. rip to the aew editing team but its true and should be happening

john silver vs rush

big fan of john silver the meat man. i hope he wins against rush having him lose and then 10 lose back to back would make me Quite Cross >:( (i mean... theres no way they kick andrade out of aew...) little doc sampson makin sure everything is up to order as rush beats up john silver in front of him tussling around the timekeeper's table nooo!! trashcan move!!! hey if youre gonna do a "the refs need to be more STRICT about THINGS" bit just to get eddie kingston a results-reversal at least be consistent!!! though im pretty sure remsburg is the most lenient of the refs... noooo! john silver lost!!!! im getting preemptively mad!!

i literally did not recognize evil uno in a hoodie. the new mask and him not having his trademark outfit on threw me so off. "who is this yet unknown member of the dark order" i thought hangman!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hes defending his friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH I JUST REALIZED WHY EVIL UNO AND 10's NEW MASKS THROW ME OFF evil uno's has a half-color split (like 10 used to have) and 10's now does not i do like 10s mask style (i think the slade look is better than what he had before) buttttttt this throws me off maybe thats why i dont like their new masks... hmm

#livezon

[wrestlezon]

aew dynamite 4/20/22 liveblog containment post

happy 4/20. we're starting this ep late

cm punk match: good i have to rewatch it though i missed parts of it

i cant believe they pulled out the handcuffs on wardlow. this is so unfair to me specifically

i called them the blood club and then was like oh my mistake blackpool and then yuta came out with his blood tights so maybe i was right the first time actually dante martin's avoidance flipmoves against danielson was super cool did excalibur bring up the wrestling observer and someone else went yikes? was that in pipmode or not lmao lmfao is this going to be the signature bcc move where its the three of them beat the hell out of the three opponents

the elite out here in full black funeral attire oh man kyle is going to lose his match isnt he... elite losing streak

wardlow appeared on screen and my friends im watching with yelled

tony khan announcement! i wonder what itll be njpw president! wo-- ADAM COLE...??? RUDE????? LMAO omg he's stealing their thunder!!! gasp! jay white! i suppose he is finally free after fighting all his wrestledads in impact(?). i only have a very surface level knowledge of this guy gathered by tumblr osmosis but i like the cut of his evil jib.

mjf is here! shawn spears is throwing popcorn on people-- THE TWO OF THEM ARE MAKING A MESS he still has the handcuffs on. cool. whatever i am unphased (lying) *looks at the corner graphic* oh no sammy and tay are showing up today??? ough hmm wardlow fought the blade in a solos match a while back when he was building up his streak right straps: down. nips: unleashed powerbombs! live mjf reaction yea wooo!!! get them wardlow!!!! am i really going to be graced with handcuff bits? every week for as long as this wardlow bit is going on? wow. awesome. this show gives me so much

eddie promo!!!!! yesssss :)c

i am sitting and watching this kyle vs jungle boy match but i have to admit these two are not guys i particularly focus on. actually now that i think about it, it IS weird seeing these two tag guys do a solo match against each other... im glad kyle doesnt spray tan. or at least doesnt look like it. refreshing wow??? kyle won??????? i wasnt expecting that oh hes going up against samoa joe next. rip kyle omg its cage

mjf promo time lmfao shawn spears is serenading his chair i love mjf insanity hours. may your empire crumble there was something else i wanted to say here but i forgot it

hook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to see what happens here. will danhausen show up? what the fuck is his hair right now oh! its one of the workhorse men yay danhausen! danhausen on TV!!!!! proud for him DANHAUSEN YOURE CHALLENGING HOOK??? SPICY danhausen and hook are real opposites and i am entertained. this is probably an annoying segment to read for danhausen dislikers. sorry. i am a fan of his weird energy

i hope scorpio sky gets that belt back. but also this promo explains why im going to see sammy and tay later i suppose

nyla rose vs thunder rosa promos...

oh here they are... sammy and tay. i can tolerate them on their own (them being a pda couple is funny on an ironic level) but i can't handle them AND danbert at the same time. ethan goin' off oh dang please end this feud this combo is too much for me

house of black time! wow we're in real promo hours right now i laughed at the "narrative" line i have to say also i dont know who theyre talking about-- is it fuego

lmfao dmd literally brought legit sports guys with her? lmao? (sleeping emojis) oh wait i can pull up the emoji keyboard hold on.😴

serene deeb hikaru shida! oooo ooooo streetfight!!!! ooooooo!

excalibur nailing this insane promo match list marathon. standing ovation for this man

coffin match coffin match that skateboard hit was really loud!! oh no! not that fan's sign! OH ITS STING!!!! i love this bit. i fall for it every time wow this is turning into a darby and sting vs ahfo tornado tag aint it NO GRANDPA THATS TOO HIGH!!!! i appreciate how the steel chair is the perfect size to wedge in between the ring ropes. real frog on a lilypad type stuff right there oh my god!!! jose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cool ending

#talkzon