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foxyotomelady · 5 years

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Another love, Chapter V (JuminxReader)

Author’s notes:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I know you've all been waiting for it.

Be aware of: strong language, slightly angst, my poor grammar, and yes yes yes, yandere Jumin ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Buy Me A Ko-Fi Have a nice reading!

Jumin informed the security chief about Elizabeth's disappearance and now some of the security guards were looking for her all over the building. He also called to Jaehee asked her to contact the media - information about the award for finding Elizabeth was to appear immediately.

You were sitting silently on the sofa, embracing your knees with your arms and feeling like an idiot. Jumin looked at you, he had such a strange expression... Empty and at the same time full of relief? Slowly and without a word, he sat next to you. "It's my fault," You said unemotionally. "She had to escape when you threw Yuwoon out the door, she had to be scared by this whole show." "It's nobody's fault," Jumin said calmly. "Actually, I'm glad she escaped."

Extremely surprised, you took a look at his composed face, "Why?"

Jumin caught his breath, "Her presence reminded me of what happened to V and Rika all the time. She reminded me of my biggest mistakes. You see, I got her from Rika, and it was V who gave her a name... For a long time, I thought that she could see and understand all my strangling threads... But for several reasons, I understood that it was not true. That I only came up with it to deal with my loneliness. Similarly, I once thought about Rika. I thought she understood me. But it also turned out to be a lie. She hid her true face, manipulated V, Yoosung and me. "Did you... have feelings for Rika?" You asked and your heart jumped. Did you feel jealous? It was so strange. "I'm not sure, I never even made an effort to think about it, maybe because she was with V anyway. Or maybe because I was already subconsciously aware that something was wrong with her. Maybe, whatever I felt for her it was also a delusion. It is completely different with you. Unlike Rika, you are honest and straightforward. I feel that you truly understand me. And even though I knew you were with Yuwoon... "Jumin leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and covering his eyes with his hand. You touched his arm, didn't dare to do more, didn’t want to make a mistake again. "I couldn't stop thinking about you, I told myself that I just wanted to be a friend, which was another lie of course. When you first mentioned Yuwoon, I felt uneasy, I didn't understand why. But now I think I already felt something for you back then. You started to rule over my heart just a few days after you become a part of RFA." "I... I'm sorry, Jumin, I didn't notice, I think Saeran was right, I am dense." He raised his head and looked at you, his eyes sharp, "He says such things about you? Let me talk to him and he'll immediately stop." You didn’t stop the quiet "aww" that escaped your mouth and didn't refrain from kissing Jumin on his forehead, "You're charming, but I can deal with him myself." Jumin, still serious, looked straight into your eyes, "I must confess to you about something, it's selfish, but when you told me that Yuwoon cheated on you, I felt happy. Of course, I didn't like your suffering, but it struck me that after that, I finally have at least a chance..." "Jumin..."

"Every time you talked about him, I felt a rage stronger than ever before."

"I didn't know... You always wished us happiness, when I told everyone that Yuwoon and I were together, you were the first to congratulate us."

"Because I really cared about your happiness... But I couldn't bear that you want to achieve it with him... In fact, when you declared that you're together, I felt that my world is collapsing." God... You felt so stupid. How long did it last? How long did he suffer because of you? Were you really too blind to notice? Or was Jumin so good at pretending? "I have no idea what to say..." "You don’t have to say anything, you never owed me anything, I still have no right to demand anything from you... I must apologize again for locking you up here that day. It was a desire stronger than me. " "I forgive you, but give me some time, Jumin, I have to sort out my own feelings."

The next day

[Y/N has entered the chat room]

You: You are here, guys!

You: Have you heard what happened?

707:

707: My poor Elly ~

707: How did she escape ?!

Yoosung: T-T

Yoosung: I feel sorry for Jumin

Yoosung: he must be woried T-T

707: Zen

707: Aren't u going to say something?

707: Aren't u worry about our sweet lady?!

707:

Zen: first of all, it's not a lady

Zen: second, I'm silent because I don't want to talk about this cat, but I'm also a bit worried

Zen: this jerk must be out of his mind rn

You: I feel responsible for it...

Yoosung: Why?

You: Yuwoon came to Jumin's apartment yesterday

Yoosung:

707:

Zen:

You: We had a fight

You: There was a lot of chaos

You: she had to escape then...

You: I have to do something!

You: I have spoken to Jaehee, she prepared flyers with a photo of Elizabeth

You: I already have a full package of them here with me

You: Do you want to help me with spreading them?

707:

707: I’d like to help

707: but I have to work

707: I have so much work

707: T.T

Yoosung: sorry T-T

Yoosung: I failed my lastest exam

Yoosung:

Yoosung: so I must study

Yoosung: until holidays are over

You: .…

You: Zen?

Zen: ..…

You: You're my last hope T-T

You: pretty pleeeaaaaseeee ^^

Zen: sigh... I can't refuse when you ask so nicely

Zen: I'll overcome my allergy for you!

Zen:

You: thank you!

Jumin's POV

There has not been any information about Elizabeth so far. He should be worried. He should be panicking. But he was calm. So what if she disappeared? He was not alone anymore... No, no, no... He should not think like that. Y/N still did not promise him any kind of relationship. And Elizabeth was just a cat who still needed his care.

He straightened up in his chair and pushed aside the report he was reading. God, it was so hard to concentrate on work. Y/N promised that she would not leave him, that he could trust her. But he still felt anxious when she was not near him when she was not under his control.

I have to trust her, He kept thinking in his head. Only so we can build a healthy relationship... Maybe I should talk to her for a moment. Maybe then I will calm down.

He decided to look for her at the messenger. Now, when she had holidays and didn't have to study, she often logged in.

[Jumin Han has entered the chat room]

Jumin Han: Y/N? Are you here?

Jaehee Kang: Sir, you know you can see who is logged in?

Jumin Han: I keep forgetting that

Jaehee Kang:

Jumin Han: so she's not here

Jumin Han: then I have no reason to be here as well

Jumin Han: By the way, are you slacking off, Assistant Kang?

Jaehee Kang: .... ;;;;

Jaehee Kang: NO.

[707 has entered the chat room]

707: lololololol

707:

707: have you seen this?

Jaehee Kang: ?

Jumin Han: see what?

Seven inserted a link heading to an article. Jumin opened it with little interest, expecting something stupid. But then pain squeezed his heart as soon as he saw two pictures and a big caption.

BREAKING NEWS! Well-known actor Hyun Ryu has an affair?! Who is the girl he's dating?!

The photos under the caption were something that he never wanted to see.

She.

With him.

With Zen.

In one picture they were sitting at a table, facing each other. Zen had his hands clasped under his chin and he was smiling flirtatiously at Y/N. In the second picture, Zen was embracing her tightly, and she barely restrained her smile. Both photos were apparently taken from hiding - probably by some clever paparazzi.

707: lolololol

Jaehee Kang: It isn’t funny, Seven.

Jaehee Kang: and it's certainly a misunderstanding.

707: Brother was right

707: Zen is so into her

Jaehee Kang:

He had to trust her.

It was a misunderstanding.

She betrayed my trust.

Jaehee Kang: I'm worried, it can affect Zen's image badly

Jaehee Kang:

It must have been a misunderstanding.

She promised.

She wants to leave me.

707: lolololol

707: You're a true fan Jaehee

He had to trust her.

She’ll leave me.

707: Juju, why so silent?

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang.

Jumin Han: Come here at once.

Jaehee Kang: Is something the matter?

Jumin Han: NOW.

[Jumin Han has left the chat room]

His hands were shaking with anger as he dialed the security chief's number. He tapped his fingers on the desk and clenched his eyelids, waiting for him to pick up the phone.

"Yes, Mr. Han?"

FINALLY.

"Inform Yoon that he can't let Ms. Y/N out of my apartment. Under any circumstances."

"Mr. Han, I'm sorry to tell you this, but Ms. Y/N has left your apartment some time ago."

"What?" His fingers tightened on the phone.

"Has something happened? Should we look for her?"

"No."

He hung up. His head throbbed. His lungs tightened in pain. He put down the phone in fear that he would crush it in his hand. And just as Jaehee entered his office, he slammed his fist down on the desk. His assistant froze in place, pale.

"S-Sir? What is happening?"

He rose from his desk more abruptly than he intended. He did not control himself, his movements, gestures, words, thoughts, "Assistant Kang, do you happen to know where Y/N is?"

"I-I spoken with her today, she wanted me to make flyers about Elizabeth’s missing for her."

Jumin felt that he would soon burst. But he did not feel hot. It was freezing in his guts. His voice was also icy. Nevertheless, his tie was stifling him. He loosened it, "And where did she go with these flyers?"

Jeahee looked at him terrified, "She didn't tell me to where exactly-"

"Assistant Kang," He saw that she was lying. She was so bad at it. "Where is Y/N?"

"Mr. Han, please tell me what is happening."

"Jeahee," Her eyes widened when he used her name, but his voice was not warm, just the opposite. "Tell me where she is or I will fire you."

Jaehee swallowed. Now her face was no longer pale. It was gray, maybe even green. She must have been sick with nerves.

"She was supposed to go to the cafe she likes to visit. I'll send exact coordinates to you in a moment, sir."

"Good," He took the phone from his desk and hurried to leave the office. "I'm leaving."

"But the meetings-"

"Cancel them all."

Your POV

Zen sneezed loudly, wiped his nose, and whined in anger. You chuckled, looking at his tormented face. He was really devoting himself now.

You have already distributed most of the flyers. Many people were passing by this cafe. Unfortunately, no one has seen Elizabeth. Now you've decided to take a break. You were both sitting on the bench in front of the building.

"Just don’t look at the photo, Zen," You suggested with amusement.

"I keep thinking about this stupid cat and you have her fur on your clothes - that's enough to make me sneeze," He complained and pushed the rest of the flyers as far away from him as possible, "What a terrible fate to be at the side of a beautiful woman in such state. You're missing the opportunity to admire my true beauty."

You rolled your eyes, "Do you ever stop flirting?"

"Huh?" Zen blinked, then made a sad face. "What do you think of me, that I flirt with everyone?"

"Exactly my point."

"Have you ever saw me flirt with Jaehee?"

"No, but I'm sure it's because you respect her as your faithful fan," You smiled under your breath.

"This is partly true, but most importantly, I only flirt with those who caught my eye."

You looked at Zen slowly, not sure if he was still kidding. You wanted to say something, but then, on the street in front of the cafe, a familiar limousine stopped. When you saw Jumin get off the car, not even waiting for the driver to open the door for him, you felt cold. Something was wrong.

"Jumin?" You got up from the bench and Zen immediately did the same.

"Why is this jerk here?" The white-haired man was not happy.

Jumin approached you two stiff and fast. His eyes... His gaze pierced you like a dagger. You've already seen this flash in his eyes some time ago. But not so intense. Something was definitely wrong.

"Ah, so you were here with him?" He asked in a vacant, strange voice.

Zen snorted, "You have a problem with that, dude?"

Jumin gave him a sharp look, "I wasn’t asking you."

"Jumin, we just-"

He did not let you finish - suddenly he grabbed you by the hand, squeezed hard, and you dropped all the flyers that you've been holding up to now. Passers-by were peeking at you three anxiously, whispering.

"We're going home," Jumin pulled you to himself abruptly.

"The hell, man!" It was Zen, nervous, furious. "Your apartment is not even her home yet! And what do you think you're doing, being so harsh to her?!"

Jumin tightened your hand even more. You felt that his fingers were shaking. He took one step toward Zen, and he must have a terrifying look now, for the white-haired man stepped back.

"Mind your own business, Zen," Jumin said in the coldest voice you ever heard from him.

Zen shook his head as if to wake up from the shock. He opened his mouth, but before he spoke, you cut him off, "That's okay, Zen. I'll be fine. Nothing bad is happening. I'll go with Jumin."

"Finally, a rational decision," Jumin did not look at you, he turned on his heel and pulled you toward the car. You looked at Zen once again, gesturing with your free hand, showing him not to intervene because you saw that he was barely holding back.

When you finally found yourself in the back of the limousine with Jumin, you felt your heart was hammering. You did not dare look at him, and he did not say a word.

Looking at your feet, you hardly made a sound, "Jum-"

"We'll talk when we're home."

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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ok ok i KNOW promos are little more than glimpsing the episode through a keyhole, BUT, if it is what it looks like, i think it’s safe to say that dean is doing his Classic Dean thing, and projecting the anger he feels at himself onto other people. because we KNOW how hard it was for dean to come around to jack, and accept that he wasn’t a threat, and dean even fully embraced him as part of the family, and then.... jack maybe kinda turns out to be exactly what dean thought he was from the start.

Yeah, that’s at least a big part of this. I mean, let’s go back and look at Dean’s trust-vs-acceptance arcs way back in s4. It’s not an exact parallel, but it’s thematically similar.

And for full owie factor, I’m watching 8.07 while I’m typing this up (thanks, TNT loop), and I have it paused on the scene where Dean and Cas are having their little talk while waiting for Linda Tran to show up… Dean’s angry and hurt, and has literally created a false memory of the situation because it was too painful. So yeah, we know this is something Dean does.

But back to the example I was gonna use here. In s4, Dean was being asked to trust Ruby, despite all his instincts screaming at him not to. Obviously Dean never developed a parental relationship with her, she never fully entered his sphere of trust the way Jack has, which only makes this a thousand times worse now. Because Jack DID get through Dean’s defenses, and proved he was worthy of being there, in Dean’s inner circle of family.

And despite everything, Dean’s gonna hate HIMSELF for what Jack’s done now. Because HE feels responsible for not being able to handle Jack’s death back in 14.08, because HE pushed to find a way to bring Jack back, because HE didn’t know how to handle things when Jack wasn’t doing well again, because HE allowed Jack’s “I’m fine” to stand even back in 14.14 before he burned up so much of his soul to kill Michael, and because HE didn’t know how bad things were getting for Jack now.

I mean, if DEAN had only been able to hold Michael back, Jack would never have had to risk his own soul to save them. If he’d just thrown himself in the ocean, Jack could’ve been FINE, right?!

I mean, Dean doesn’t know that Jack already wasn’t fine, and that he was already casually burning up more and more of his soul to hide his symptoms in 14.14. Dean ALSO doesn’t know what Cas sacrificed in order to bring Jack’s soul back in 14.08. And he’s gonna feel like crap when he finds out, because Cas did that for him, because he honestly believed that Dean would rather have Jack healthy and whole than him. And just D: D: D:

Cas and Dean are BOTH in this boat– Dean because of the guilt surrounding everything to do with Michael and his own personal perceived failings in that regard, and Cas who has now literally thrown everything away FOR NOTHING.

Cas staked EVERYTHING. HE. IS. on recovering Jack’s soul, and he’s horrified and had been in denial that it was lost forever. For NOTHING.

GEE. I WONDER WHY HE DIDN’T TELL DEAN.

He was so desperate he set out to find God again. Not for the reasons he did back in s5, but for incredibly PERSONAL reasons. I mean 5.02:

CASTIEL: I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world, and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself.

and from 5.18:

CASTIEL: I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them? DEAN: Cas! Please! CASTIEL: I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.

Can you imagine sacrificing literally everything you are, all chance at future happiness included, for someone who KNEW exactly what you had given up, only to have that person feel their “mission” was more important than anything else? Who was willing to sacrifice both of them to complete that mission? Because that’s what Jack has done.

If Jack’s soul really is gone forever, then Cas’s sacrifice has been for nothing. But Dean’s reaction is clearly coming from a place where Dean himself knows nothing about that sacrifice. Because Cas didn’t want to burden him with it. And Jack KNEW that.

But there’s so many of these threads coming together in the plot knot currently. and heck, this scene from 8.07 is on my screen rn:

DEAN: That was a bonehead move back there. You could have gotten yourself killed. Why didn’t you wait for me?CASTIEL: Well, I didn’t get killed. And it worked.DEAN: And if it didn’t?CASTIEL: It would have been my problem.DEAN: Well, that’s not the way I see it.CASTIEL: Hey, everything isn’t your responsibility. Getting me out of Purgatory wasn’t your responsibility.DEAN: You didn’t get out. So whose fault was it?CASTIEL: It’s not about fault. It’s about will. Dean, do you really not remember?DEAN: [laughs shortly] I lived it, Cas. Okay, I know what happened.CASTIEL: No. No, you think you know. You remembered it the way you needed to.DEAN: Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!

Sacrifice, self-worth, free will and choice… same themes, different go-around on all the loops here.

One last thought… Jack’s had a LOT of Star Wars references around his narrative journey. Dean’s been worried Jack could go Dark Side since the day he was born. I mean, Dean was worried at first that Jack was BORN dark, and it took him A LOT to separate out the guilt, horror, and grief of Cas’s death back in early s13 for Dean to even BEGIN to see that Jack wasn’t inherently evil. It took Cas coming back from the Empty (that metaphorical Dark Side), and then Jack’s time in the AU fighting alongside Mary for him to truly feel that Jack was growing into the Light Side of the Force.

It wasn’t that Jack killed Nick, because it had become clear that Nick was just Lucifer Lite (all the evil, none of the archangelic mojo), and despite being given several chances to stop, Jack did what we all knew had to be done. Only… the WAY he did it was just horrifying in itself. He could’ve just… zapped Nick dead instantly. He could’ve snapped his fingers and turned him to dust like he’s done to so many others, going back to the angels he poofed in the AU during s13. Heck, he could’ve shot him or just stabbed him with a knife. Nick was human. It would’ve killed him. But instead, Jack wanted him to suffer. Jack inflicted slow torture on Nick, believing he deserved to suffer. And that Jack was righteous in being the agent of that suffering.

That wasn’t a reflection on what Nick might or might not have deserved, but on JACK, and the fact he’s not in control of the Force anymore. The Dark Side got his claws in him, and it’s controlling him now.

It reminded me a tiny bit of one of Dean’s lessons during 6.11, while Dean was playing Death for a day. One touch and he could end the suffering of people slated to die and send them on to their afterlife– be it Heaven, Hell, whatever. It wasn’t DEAN CAUSING this guy’s suffering, but kinda… choosing to let it go on a lil bit, because the guy had been willing to shoot a KID just to rob a convenience store:

TESSA Hello? Tick tock.DEAN He’s in agonizing pain, right?TESSA Uh, yes.DEAN Give me a minute.

Dean then called the guy’s spirit a dick, and basically told him he was going to Hell… I mean, I get it, it feels good to watch someone get their comeuppance. But it’s another thing entirely to be the cause of someone’s suffering, even if they richly deserve it. To actively, vindictively feel justified in making someone suffer the way Jack did to Nick there. Nothing else mattered to him in that moment, and if Mary hadn’t been there growing more and more horrified, who even knows how long that torture would’ve continued. It wasn’t at all about what Nick “deserved.” We all get it, he deserved to suffer. It was about what this (and his actions in the next scene talking to Mary) said about JACK.

Like soulless!Sam, he can’t even see how wrong his actions are. He becomes defensive when Mary tries to explain, as carefully as she can, why she’s concerned for him. But Jack’s self-preservation, and the preservation of his beliefs about himself in a fundamental way, were threatened. He tried to rationalize and defend his actions. He told her Sam and Dean were GRATEFUL that he’d killed Nick and stopped Lucifer from coming back. And yeah, we all are, but that’s dusted now and we’re left with this deep concern for Jack instead.

He needed his actions to be justified, to be approved of, because without his own internal moral compass, he NEEDS the “What Would The Winchesters Do” validation. And Mary couldn’t give it.

At this point, I’ve typed so long I’ve got one last example from the TNT loop, at the end of 8.08. Fred Jones finally gets to confront the evil man who’d used his power to do bad things and got a lot of people killed in the process. When Sam and Cas confronted Fred, and woke him up enough to recognize what was happening, Fred used his power to kill the evil doctor. He didn’t drag it out, just forced the guy to turn the gun on himself while telling him that he’d never hurt anyone else again. But then Fred could see how his powers had been used for evil, and instead of attempting to defend or justify any of this, he voluntarily allowed his powers (and much of what made him him) to be extracted so that he could never be used that way again.

Jack… did the opposite.

This is all tied up in Cas’s personal issues with his own power, his identity, his endless struggles for and against Heaven, what he’s personally sacrificed for his loved ones. And heck at this point I don’t even remember the initial question, so I hope I’ve answered it…

*scrolls up to reread this before posting*

wow this reply went places…

#spn 14.17 #spn 14.18 #spn s14 spoilers #spn 8.07 #spn 8.08 #spn 6.11 #spn 14.08 #spn 14.14 #spn 5.02 #spn 5.18 #Anonymous #spiders georg of the tnt loop #s14 meta rewatch

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rhiannonelf · 2 years

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AAAAAAHH

Okay, I’ve had a rough week and I need to scream into the void about something; and the facts that my room is a mess, I’m having a cystic acne flare up, my grandparents are coming to visit, I’m not sure if I have seasonal allergies or a cold, my puppy is going through a rebellious phase and I might be failing calculus, are too in my face for a good scream.

So here’s my hot take essay to vent the anxiety.

It irks me when people say that women are the only people who suffer under patriarchy and here's why:

Firstly and most personally, I’m a nonbinary lesbian and I feel like the label of “woman” only like 40% applies to me. Saying that if a system solely benefits men, only women are disadvantaged, erases all the people who don't fit neatly into either category.

More broadly, the term “patriarchy” comes from the greek word patriarkhēs, which is a compound word derived from the (also greek) words, patēr, meaning father, and arkhē meaning reign.

Therefore, the word patriarchy literally means father-reign or father-rule.

This is slightly different from a system ruled by all men, (I believe that would be an androarchy.) Because while fathers tend to be men, not all men are fathers.

It’s super f*cked up that ladies are pushed to be submissive to guys and nb/trans folks are punished for not conforming to their AGAB. Yet, It’s also f*cked up that men are punished for not showing sufficient interest in being patriarchs themselves.

It’s like we as a society have a shitty dad.

He expects his daughters to cook and clean for him or else, but he also expects his sons to be just like him or else.

Men are like the golden child of a narcissistic parent. He dotes on them over their siblings and even encourages them to join him in abusing the others. But there’s a catch. The patriarchy’s love is conditional. Men are shamed for doing anything that the patriarchy deems “feminine” and will be punished for partaking in activities/feelings that are supposed to be “beneath them”

It is obviously unacceptable if the golden child hits, steals from, or belittles his siblings. However, he has a right to say that he has some emotional baggage from dealing with his dad, and to look for advice from his siblings on how to be a better father to his own children someday.

RN I feel like there’s a bit of a thing where dudes bring up that baggage and the rest of us are like “OH MY GOD KEVIN!! SHUT UP!!! DAD LOVES YOU! YESTERDAY HE BEAT ME WITH A WIRE HANGER AND THEN TOLD ME TO PICK UP YOUR LAUNDRY YOU PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!!” and that pain is valid, but Kevin probably isn’t happy and having him admit he wants to understand more about being a healthy family is actually a great first step towards someday having one.

Maybe I just spend too much time on this website, but it feels like I keep seeing the take that all men are The Oppressor and that they have no place in feminism. Sometimes, I’ve even seen it implied that straight sex can’t ever be fully consensual, because of the power dynamic between men and women. I just can’t get behind that. One could argue that men being shamed for having emotions, or wearing pink, or changing diapers, is a self inflicted wound because it’s usually other men who do the shaming, but in my opinion, it’s more like brothers bullying each other to impress their shitty dad, than like one guy seeing that he’s just cared for his child and then punching himself in the nuts.

No one rational is saying that men have it worse or that we should prioritize solving issues that inconvenience them over problems that kill others, but it’s possible to distinguish the individual from the collective.

#feminist #patriarchy #rant #discourse

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trb-reacts · 6 years

Text

The Raven Boys, Chapter 14

“When is Mom’s birthday?” Helen asked. Gansey was simultaneously pleased to hear her voice and annoyed to be bothered by something so trivial. For the most part, he and his sister got along well; Gansey siblings were a rare and complicated species, and they didn’t have to pretend to be something they weren’t around each other.

Umm, excuse you, Gansey. How dare you call your mom’s birthday trivial?? Also, I’m a little amused but glad to see that not all of my rich people stereotypes are coming up here. I expected all the siblings to be very cold with them *eyes at the Lynch brothers*, but that’s not the case and Gansey’s family seems pretty close with each other for most part?

(Except for the dad, of course, who threatened to remove Gansey from inheriting anything if he gets below a B)

But, yeah, I’m just glad that there’s at least some healthy sibling relationships around here.

“You’re the wedding planner,” Gansey said as a dog ripped out of nowhere. It barked furiously, trying to bite the Camaro’s tires.

Lol, I don’t know why with the way this is written, I’m beginning to think that Gansey’s car tires is made of rich people leather and that’s why the dog all of sudden just raised its head, went idk STEAK! and just ripped outta nowhere towards Gansey’s car tires. Also I’m amused because I just recall Gansey’s car is named the Pig, I think, which… makes sense why the dog is going after it?

Helen did not need to be anything. She didn’t have careers, she had hobbies that involved other people’s lives.

Oh, now that definitely sounds more like a rich person thing. She didn’t have careers, she had a fortune of old money to live off of. Oh wait, that’s not what it said? I think that’s just my bitterness towards these rich families coming out. Gee, how does Adam ever stand them?

Also, She didn’t have careers, she had hobbies that involved other people’s live, sounds like such a bored married housewife would nothing to do thing, like, uh, I have nothing to do ever since I don’t work, so let’s just gossip and try to backseat drive your life.

In all honesty, I like Helen so far. The first thing she really called about is to ask about her mother’s birthday, which while shows that she does not remember, she at least cares?? And Gansey likes her, which is a nice vote of confidence in my book *just eyes at Ronan, my nonsecret fav in the book, and Adam, the sweetheart*. Yeah, so I don’t know why I’m kinda lowkey roasting her. I think I just don’t like too many hints of Old Money and Rich People, since I’m poor.

A lab mix tied in front of the first house bayed dolorously as he passed. The other dog continued to worry at his tires, a snarl ascending with the engine note.

Why does it seem like there’s so many dogs in this neighborhood, though I do very much love dogs.

Three kids in sleeveless shirts stood in one of the yards shooting milk jugs with BB guns; they shouted Hey, Hollywood! and affably aimed guns at the Pig’s tires. They pretended to hold phones by their ears. Gansey felt a peculiar stab at the three of them, their camaraderie, their belonging, products of their surroundings. He wasn’t sure if it was pity or envy. Everywhere was dust.

Oh, there was something about this scene. Three again, after the reading with Blue and Whelk last time, three kids. Gansey felt a peculiar stab at the three of them, their camaraderie, their belonging, products of their surroundings. Like, it sounds very much like envy, except Gansey does have kinda these things among the raven boys. The only issue is that, well, life is never as simple for Gansey or the raven boys as it could be for these three random kids, since life is always complicated when old money and a circle of influential family is involved.

Also, just the ending of this paragraph. Everywhere was dust. Gansey couldn’t see clearly, just which one is which, envy and pity swirling together? Or was it a matter of showing how low these kids are compared to Gansey and his background, little specks that means nothing in the end, even if they have more - their camaraderie, their belonging, products of their surroundings - than Gansey thinks he can ever have.

“I’m going to see a friend.” “The mean one, or the white trash one?” “Helen.” She replied, “Sorry. I meant Captain Frigid or Trailer-Park Boy.”

I would say that I’m not sure if I should be amused or offended, but that would be a lie. I’m offended. Is this prejudice against people who’s not born into the same rich background as them? I’m very happy that my mind knew what was up and was roasting her even before this line came up.

Also, I think it’s kinda obvious by now, but Noah really isn’t actually part of the group. People refer to the boys as Gansey&Ronan&Adam. Noah is making very few appearances.

“Dad calls them worse things,” Helen said.

I’m sorry, darling, but that’s really no excuse. You can think for yourself, can’t you, instead of pointing fingers and saying, Well, as least I’m not as mean as him!

Somehow seeing his parents always reminded him of how little he’d accomplished, how similar he and Helen were, how many red ties he owned, how he was slowly growing up to be everything Ronan was afraid of becoming.

Oh, intriguing. How little he has accomplished. Low self-esteem or just the idea that his value depends on how much he has accomplished, though I understand that in this case, it probably came from his upbringing. How much red ties, I’m not sure what that means. I think I’m mostly intrigued by how he was slowly growing up to be everything Ronan was afraid of becoming, mostly because I’m wondering if Gansey is also afraid of becoming that rich white guy as well. And just, also, the idea that Ronan is afraid instead of hate, as though Ronan thinks his potential to be what he doesn’t want to be is very much there to turn potential to reality.

Fat, shiny carpenter bees swooped at his head, distracted from their work of destroying the stairs.

Bees… destroys stairs????

The idea that you had to pay for the beauty in Henrietta should have occurred to him before then, but it hadn’t. No matter how many times Adam told him he was foolish about money, he couldn’t seem to get any wiser about it.

Oh, Gansey, everything is paid in money, but you use it as easily as breathing. For some people, money is paid in breaths, in time, in huffs of breaths of toil and hours worked to accumulate for so little.

There is no spring here, Gansey realized, and the thought was unexpectedly grim.

This is a profound line, but I’m mostly thinking about how it’s April and still it feels like fucking winter. No spring indeed for me, this year. Metaphorically applies too, since this year sucks for me so far.

Adam’s knees bent as if he were going to scoot himself out from under the car, but then he didn’t.

Gansey knew what this meant, this failure to immediately come out from beneath the car, and anger and guilt drew his chest tight. The most frustrating thing about the Adam situation was that Gansey couldn’t control it. Not a single piece of it.

Oh, Adam. I don’t know if I want Adam to not come out because he doesn’t want Gansey to see that he is beat up for being caught after trying to sneak out, or because Adam is angry at Gansey. The former because Adam being so considerate just breaks my heart and the latter because I think Adam is the type to, in a very non-hyperbolic way, kill himself trying to help those he care about and I really want Adam to be able to… not exactly stand up for himself because Gansey doesn’t really bully Adam so much as ask him for stuff despite knowing it would be difficult for Adam, but at least be able to say no and be able to put himself before others on some occasions.

A bruise spread over his cheekbone, red and swelling as a galaxy. A darker one snaked over the bridge of his nose.

</3 oh, Adam.

“And what about when Glendower takes you away from Henrietta?” Gansey couldn’t say it wouldn’t happen. “You come with.”

Oh, and Adam says his faith in Gansey’s dream is incomplete. When he says, though I supposed it is incomplete, at least in Gansey. Adam didn’t think Gansey would take him with him.

Rags to riches isn’t a story anyone wants to hear until after it’s done.

Too true, too heartbreaking. Everyone wants to hear a ‘I preserve, worked hard and I succeeded, it paid off’. Who wants to hear a ‘and I’m still trying, with no success in sight’?

But it was a story that was hard to finish when Adam had missed school yet again. There was no happy ending without passing grades.

Don’t be so real, guys. Reality is setting in and this is not what I signed up for when I started reading this book.

And this was an uneasy place to be, because Gansey knew it took a lot for Adam to accept his reasons for chasing Glendower. Adam had plenty of reasons to be indifferent about Gansey’s nebulous anxiety, his questioning of why the universe had chosen him to be born to affluent parents, wondering if there was some greater purpose that he was alive.

The poor are sad they’re poor, Adam had once mused, and turns out the rich are sad they’re rich.

Sigh, the grass is always greener on the other side and I can imagine how much it sucks for Adam to see everything he ever wanted be in every other person’s hand, not because they earned it but because they were born with it. They have everything Adam ever wanted and still, they want more.

And Ronan had said, Hey, I’m rich, and it doesn’t bother me.

Except ‘growing up to be everything Ronan was afraid of becoming’, yeah, being rich doesn’t bother Ronan.

Success meant nothing to Adam if he hadn’t done it for himself.

I’m so proud of my son rn but also like, goddamnit Adam, let them help you a little. You don’t have to use connections for everything, but use the connection to get an opportunity to prove yourself, would you?

“You’ve watched too many cop shows.” “I’ve watched the evening news, Adam,”

Nice comeback, Gansey, mostly because i agree with him. This is one sad reality.

“Why don’t you let Ronan teach you to fight? He’s offered twice now. He means it.”

I did not expect to hear this, but now I’m just so happy and proud. Ronan, wanting Adam to be able to defend himself, and offers to teach him. Ronan, offering twice. I’m so happy.

“Because then he will kill me.” “I don’t follow.” Adam said, “He has a gun.”

Well, there goes my happiness out the door. Adam’s father sucks the life and happiness outta me and we haven’t actually even met him yet. Jesus.

Not at the double-wides in the foreground, but past them, to the flat, endless field with its tufts of dry grass. So many things survived here without really living.

But… can I say ‘but they survive.’ Not living, but still, they survive. And if they survive long enough, they can transfer to a better environment where they can thrive.

“It means I never get to be my own person. If I let you cover for me, then I’m yours. I’m his now, and then I’ll be yours.”

Yes and no. Yes, because I can see where Adam is coming, I really can, but… there’s a difference between receiving some help and owing someone so much that you owe them everything. But at the same time, I don’t think it’s ever about the degree of help Gansey exert, more like the more helpful the help was to Adam, the more Adam feels like he will owe, even if Gansey’s help might really involve an effortless phone call that would get Adam an interview for a job.

Some days, all that grounded him was the knowledge that his and Adam’s friendship existed in a place that money couldn’t influence.

Gansey, I don’t think you could ever say this so long as you and Adam’s social and monetary status is so different. You can probably say this about you and Ronan, but you’re naive if you thought so between you and Adam.

“You don’t know how it makes people look at me and at you. It’s all they need to know about us. They’ll think I’m your monkey.“

Ouch. Just.. ouch.

I am only my money. It is all anyone sees, even Adam.

You’re not only your money, Gansey, but that is a huge part of you. Adam is admittedly bothered by the glaring money part of you that stares him in the face all the time.

“You’re as bad as her. You think you deserve it.”

Who’s her? Adam’s mom?

“Don’t pretend you know,” he said. “Don’t come here and pretend you know anything.” Gansey told himself to walk away. To say nothing else. Then he said, “Don’t pretend you have anything to be proud of, then.”

Oh Gansey, have you ever thought that it is exactly because Adam has nothing to be proud of that he clings onto his pride, the fact that everything he has is because he earned it, because there is nothing else. He is building from bottom up, and it is true, people only want to hear stories of rag to riches. Would you have said the same, would you have been able to say those words, Gansey, if Adam already became rich?

As soon as he said it, he knew that it wasn’t fair, or even if it had been fair, it wasn’t right. But he wasn’t sorry he’d said it.

I would like to condemn Gansey, but… he is just awfully human, contradictory and acting on emotions and all. I can’t blame him, even if he shouldn’t have said it. The rich have their rich problem, the poor has theirs.

He imagined coming here one day and finding that Adam wasn’t here, but in the hospital, or worse, that Adam was here, but that something important had been beaten out of him.

His pride or his life, Gansey, because I think you just tried to beat Adam’s pride out of him to save his life. And I’m not sure if that was for the better.

… okay, I guess I’m not that forgiving towards Gansey. I can relate to Adam better, from one poor person to the other.

Gansey could see his irises moving underneath the thin skin of his eyelids, a dreamer awake.

a dreamer awake, it said. Oh, this is so heartbreaking. Just… an optimist that had life lessons beaten into it one time too many for him to not turn into a realistic. And real life is that it is hard, it sucks, it’s not fair and not everyone would get what they deserve, even if they try.

Now Adam looked at Gansey. There was something fierce and chilling in his eyes, an unnamable something that Gansey was always afraid would eventually take over completely. This, he knew, was a compromise, a risky gift that he could choose to reject.

In which Gansey asks for too much and when he learned to stop asking because he realize it costs Adam too much, Adam offers because… he’s Adam and Gansey is his friend.

Adam’s breath stopped audibly. Through the windshield, Gansey met the eyes of Adam’s father.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckafkaslfdjgfkldfj. The price is high, so high. Adam, I know you said you need to return by 10, but please don’t. Please. Move in with Gansey, Ronan and Noah, finish up your college degree, get a good job, be successful, be happy. Don’t go back.

Aaaand, we’ve come to the end of this chapter. What can I say besides too much had happened and emotions and risks run high. Next stop, back to Blue.

#the raven boys #the raven cycle #chapter 14 #trb #trc

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ilikebigbooks-and-icannotlie · 7 years

Text

Fast Firsts and Sloppy Seconds Part 3.5

A Rowaelin/Manorian AU

God this part was so hard, I was super stuck, super distracted, the second half was just NOT happening - but then finally around like 1 AM I fell into a grove, lol. It’s currently Friday, 3:25 AM EST, but only 9:25 PM on Thursday in Hawaii!! This is the last one I’m doing this late, I swear to god. Tags are gonna have to be in a reblog, because I’m kind of deceased rn. Thanks for sticking with me, guys, love you all <3 As usual apologies for typos, the chapter didn’t make actually make it to Becca again Happy reading!

EDIT: JUST FUCKING KILL ME. I was in bed, all happy and shit, it’s 3:56 am rn, and then I shot up, because I realized that I forgot to trigger warn, and I am SO sorry!!!! Luckily no notes yet, so that’s good, and I had added a cut, so that’s also good! Trigger Warning: It’s nothing too bad, just vague mentions of child abuse towards the end, but I wanted to make sure everyone reading is okay, and prepared, and can avoid it if they want to. Love you guys, gnight! :) <3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Dorian was losing terribly. Manon was entirely invested in the game, her darts hitting their mark almost every time. To be fair though, Dorian wasn’t trying very hard. It’s not that he wasn’t focused, however. He was particularly focused on the way she looked in those shorts. On the way her shirt barely climbed up her body every time she thrust her hand forward. On the way her eyebrows scrunched together when the dart was so close, but not quite where she wanted it. On the way she cheered every time she did hit her mark. On the fact that she was intentionally avoiding his eyes and keeping a healthy distance between them. Dorian was incredibly focused. Just, not on the game at hand.

“That’s the third time I’ve beat you in the last half hour!” She turned to him, smiling once again, and regretted it immediately. The heat in his eyes hit her like a wave as he scanned her body, his eyes lingering over her breasts and between her legs.

That was why. That was why she had avoided it – avoided meeting his eyes. She lost all conviction, all ability to breathe, under that gaze. And in no way did she like it. Her eyes quickly flicked away from him, desperate for something anything else to occupy her mind other than her desperate need to tear off his clothes. Because she couldn’t. Right then, she knew she couldn’t. She knew she simply wouldn’t survive. Not then, not with that boy.

There had been others, of course there had been. But with the others, she’d stayed in control. With the others, she hadn’t been prepared to be entirely undone with a single smile. What was happening to her? Her life was not a romance novel. It was the farthest thing. And her chances of a happily ever after – those were nearly nonexistent. Particularly with this tourist, who’d already told her he wasn’t even supposed to be in the bar that night. Before saying some stupid line about fate that made her dumb ovaries clench. She could not believe this shit. Had she not already made enough stupid decisions? For fuck’s sake. When her brother had been all she had, her first instinct was to run to her bitch of a grandmother and ruin everything. She flinched at the memories – the thirteen of them – and then shook her head, shaking away the anger, the sadness. It was fine. She was fine. She wasn’t there anymore.

Never remember, but never forget.

Her gaze flicked back to him then – the American. Thankfully, he’d been much too occupied with staring at her lips to notice her eyes, and the sadness that still echoed within them.

“Pool.”

Her eyes snapped to the soft pink lips that were curving back into the grin that it seemed he had designed just for her. The grin that she was growing infuriatingly addicted to.

“If you’re sick of winning, witchling,” he winked, teasing her with the nickname, “then let’s see how well you handle losing.” He turned almost immediately, not even giving her a chance to respond before he started towards the pool tables. She had no other choice but to follow. Since when did she follow?

She forced her gaze away from his delectable ass in those impossibly tight skinny jeans, and scowled at the back of his head instead. She wasn’t particularly good at pool. But damn it all, she was determined to even the playing field. He wasn’t going to phase her. He was going to be exactly like all the other boys, and she was going to make sure of it.

She stepped directly into his side, pressing into him, and was immediately pleased by his sudden intake of breath. She might not be good at pool, but she was good at this. She stepped on her toes and reached an arm around his neck, pulling him down to her lips. “Let’s make a bet.” After all, as he kept trying to tell herself, she had nothing left to lose. Her voice was a husky whisper as she “accidentally” grazed her free hand against what she assumed was a terribly painful hard on, resting it on the pool table. “If you win, I’ll dance for you.” She had absolutely no intention of losing.

“And if you win?” His body was entirely still, his words barely articulated through gritted teeth, as her teeth grazed over his earlobe.

“We’ll see.” Her voice was a sensual caress filled with delicious promise. She pulled back, and his eyes immediately snapped to hers, to the blatant wanton desire, analyzing, inspecting, dissecting. Looking for more that she refused to show. She didn’t blame him, she’d certainly been quite hot and cold all night. But in that moment, she’d made a decision, and she was sticking to it. Her princeling would not break her. Because he was not her anything. And she was determined to remind herself of that.

Taking the stick from his hand, all of her pulled away from him in one movement. And he couldn’t help but shiver at the sudden cold, the sudden ridiculous feeling that she was missing from him. Like she was a piece that had just been pulled away. But any absurd thoughts were very quickly replaced with a decidedly better image.

Manon leaned over the table, stretching her arms forward as she gathered all of the balls, placing them inside of the black triangle. His eyes were glued to her. To her strong legs that he wanted wrapped around him as he dove deeper and deeper into her, to the bottom of her tight ass in those unfairly short shorts, to the small stretch of impossibly soft skin at her waist that he desperately wanted to taste. She was quickly but surely turning into his weakness. And he didn’t think there was anything he could do to stop it.

The game continued from there. Manon intentionally leaning a little too far forward, whether she was across from or next to him, Dorian scorching her entire body with the barest of touches every time he walked by. Every time they met eyes, each could swear the other was about to throw them on the table and fuck them right there. They kept drinking, and playing, and laughing, and needing, as the night moved on. Slowly but surely, Manon’s hips started to move, and little by little. Dorian of course didn’t comment on it, but there was something about her, about the smile it brought on her face, that he couldn’t help but be drawn to.

She stood up, finishing her turn, and looked at him – watched him watch her. And she couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled from her lips. “What, you’re not even going to try to be casual about the fact that you’ve been staring at me?” She raised an eyebrow at him, and then uncomfortably cleared her throat. Because he wasn’t smirking. For the first time that night he had a soft, honest smile on his lips, and she absolutely hated the way it was making her feel. So entirely determined to ignore, it she persisted with her current strategy. She lifted her beer, and took another long sip. The band had moved to another faster trad song, and she couldn’t help but sway her body to the lilting melody.

That had always been her strategy in her past life, drowning herself in music. The truth was, Manon had spent her entire childhood in dance classes until her mum passed. But she hadn’t danced since then, and wasn’t sure if she wanted to now. It was just something about the night, the boy, the alcohol coursing through her veins – she hadn’t felt this light, this close to happy, in years.

Running a hand through her hair, she closed her eyes. The long white locks had been pulled out of the braid a little while ago. Most of it had fallen apart anyways, and she couldn’t be bothered to recreate it. Plus, every so often, Dorian would run his fingers through the ends, and she was finally maybe letting herself admit that she liked it. He walked over to her then, pulling her against him. She opened her eyes, a scowl on her face as he began to sway with her. “Care to take your turn, princeling? The entire kingdom waits with bated breath.” She felt his chuckle through her chest as she fought to keep herself rigid, desperate not to melt against him. She quickly forced her whirling mind back to the subject at hand. “D’you forfeit, then?”

He failed to answer her once again, lowering his face to her neck, and placing gentle kisses that left her breathless, and then caused a gasp to leave her lips as his lips latched on and nipped at the soft skin. She pushed him away lightly before he could leave a mark, but shamefully wanting him to. His sapphire eyes poured into her, that grin slipping back onto his face. “I just wanna dance.” His voice was rough, and as he pulled her tighter against him, the hard reason for it pressed into her stomach.

She couldn’t help but bite her lips as an entire night’s worth of tension and need swept over her. He moved to lower his lips again, but she stopped him, lightly taking his face in her hands, and before she could stop herself – before she could reconsider, and regret - placed his lips on hers. This kiss was nothing like the last one. It was slow, and lazy, as if they had all of the time in the world. He quickly took control of this one as well, his angling her chin to grant him better access as she opened her lips, letting him take over her senses. Their tongues danced as his worked to memorize all of her, not out of desperation, but out of sheer curiosity, out of a simple urge, something more carnal, more relaxed somehow, and she was sure she felt it too.

Around them, the music swelled, growing even faster, and all she wanted in that moment, was for it to take her away. She pulled away from him slightly, catching her breath, as he just grinned, lightly pressing his forehead to hers, and closing his eyes. They began to sway together then, lost in their thoughts.

While Dorian made some sort of effort to sort out his feelings, Manon was making every effort to ignore hers. The familiar jig brought back memories of older times, dancing in that same pub as a little lass, Rowan swinging her around as they jumped, her mum clapping along with the beat of the drum, her feet moving faster and faster.

She couldn’t help but smile at the memory as her feet fell into the familiar pattern. And then she stepped out of his arms, and began to dance. Her arms fell down by her sides, and muscle memory took over. Laughter bubbled out of her as an unfamiliar sensation of joy rushed through her. The song quickly shifted, changing, growing, moving with her. Steadily melting into one of her mother’s old favorites. But she didn’t stop, as tears poured down her face.

Vaughan had come out of somewhere, though she wasn’t sure where, sweeping her into his arms. He’d always been her favorite cousin when they were kids, and everyone knew it. The two were always comfortably quiet together, playing in the garden, or running around in the nearby fields. Whatever it took for him to not be in the house. Vaughan and Lorcan were her aunt Maeve’s sons, and to say she was hard to live with would be an understatement.

His smile nearly split his face, and she let out a light laugh at the foreign expression on Vaughan’s lips. He’d always been the most mild of her cousins, always careful of his expressions. But in that moment, there wasn’t a person in the pub that couldn’t read his blatant happiness.

Vaughan had been the only one to try to connect with her since she’d been back. Not asking how she was, but just making sure she was okay. He was the only one that she allowed to see the ghosts behind her eyes. So he was the only who knew exactly what a big deal her smile was.

Rowan was still mad at her. And she understood why, she really did, she just – she missed her brother. But, she probably should have thought about that before she’d left.

As for the rest of them - Lorcan had always been a pain in her ass, and distance certainly hadn’t made the heart grow fonder. He had been Maeve’s favorite son, and she made sure Vaughan knew it. And though Manon knew it wasn’t really his fault, she didn’t really know if she could ever forgive him for it.

Manon and her cousin Gavriel had never been close, but they had certainly found peace. They weren’t close, but they weren’t hostile – they just had a pleasantness, she supposed. He never told when she stole cookies late at night, and she never told when he snuck out.

Tears pricked her eyes once again as Vaughan spun her around, bringing a cheering Fenrys into view, with Connall next to him, an arm around Fenrys’ shoulders. The twins had always been more annoying than anything else. Fenrys was always messing with her shit and playing pranks, and whatever Fenrys did, Connall usually followed.

But Connall was also the one who’d beat up the boy who broke her heart when she was 13 and didn’t want Rowan to know. And Fenrys was the one who’d convinced Rowan to let her come back to them a few weeks ago. And after everything they’d been through, she couldn’t really hold anything against them.

Fenrys and Connall had lost their parents to the sea when they were both young, so they were sent to Maeve. They were the ones she took her rage out on the most. And to protect Connall, Fenrys was the one who provoked her, and always took the worst of it. So Manon would never stop being proud of the smile on his lips, no matter how much he annoyed her.

The opening cords of “I’ll Tell Me Ma” rang through the room, perfectly in tune with the cords of her heart. Vaughan burst out laughing at what must have been a crazy expression on her face, and she couldn’t help but laugh with him at the ridiculousness of it all. And at the boy that had caused it. She turned to him then, shutting down the wave of fear that tried to take over. Tonight, she would forget, and in that moment, wouldn’t let herself remember.

Grabbing Dorian’s hand, she went straight to the bar, and quickly climbed on top of it. Lorcan looked like he was about to have a coronary, but she didn’t really care. Fenrys kept him at bay as years of ceili training coursed through her veins, and she let the music drift through her, dragging her through memories she thought she had long forgotten, and welcoming the feeling of home that the dark haired man had awakened inside of her. She danced for her mother that she loved, for the brother she missed, for the father she never knew, for the girls she’d come to love, for the rolling hills that meant so much – she danced for her first night of freedom. And as her heart tightened when she glanced at the smile on Dorian’s lips, she hoped it wasn’t the last.

The final cords played, and the song ended. Her chest was heaving as Dorian helped her down. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d danced that much. But despite the pain, she finally felt right. Her eyes immediately searched for Rowan, to see if he’d felt it, if he knew, and then she felt a little piece of herself break again as she watched him. He was absolutely glued to the girl, his hands climbing up her shirt as they practically dry-humped. Rowan saw and felt nothing else, completely absorbed. He was looking at the American the way Manon had caught Dorian looking at her. Like he was starving, and she was the main course. Manon turned away, ignoring the tightness in her chest. She couldn’t blame him for it, for indulging. At least he was brave enough to do what she herself was afraid to let herself do.

And then, as the soft hints of Carrickfergus sent another wave of tears to her eyes, she knew only one thing. She didn’t want to be afraid anymore. So she shoved down the waves of irritation at her stupid urge to cry again, and turned to Dorian, actually prepared to accept her feelings for the first time that night. He calmly took her into his arms, and she leaned against him, letting the familiar words to the soft song pour out of her, as he led them in a gentle waltz.

Dorian was lost. Entirely gone. And her voice, her beautiful, sweet, delicate voice, was pulling him further and further away. There wasn’t much he’d been sure of in his life recently. Their senior year of college had been nothing short of a disaster for a lot of reasons. But between Aelin shining like a wild fire in the arms of Manon’s brother, and the gorgeous woman finally losing herself on top of the bar, Dorian was sure of two things. One was that there was something magical about this town, something almost like fate, that had dragged their soggy asses into the small pub. And the other was that there was no way in hell he was going to make it to Dublin.

At the final cords of the song, everyone who was left in the bar brought their hands together to clap. Finally at peace, finally alive instead of just living, finally okay for the first time in years, Manon looked up at the boy she’d wanted in her bed all night, absolutely determined to have him. Her head was tilted slightly, a small smile on her lips. Dorian immediately read the question in her eyes, taking the hand she offered, and nodding his head only once.

No words were said between them as they walked out of the pub hand in hand, only stopping briefly to pick up his backpack. The aggressively strong wind made even the thought of an umbrella entirely needless.

Together, they made their way through the pelting rain, feeling nothing but calm as it washed away the past.

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wizard-in-olympus · 7 years

Note

1 - 102 and if you answer them all i'll do the same.. thats the deal

its a deal then

this is gonna be long

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

it was mydad so, yeah

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

im 18, so obviously i would

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

when i left college, 5 months ago. i’ll be back next semester

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i’ve done it, what’s the big deal?

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

i dont think she knows and i dont think she’d even care

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

yeah andit was awful

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

i’ve heard that line right there too many times, you sound like a 15 yearold trying to get nudes. anyways, im wearing blue pjs

8. How often do you listen to music?

on long rides, while studying, while doing chores, while reading, whilewasting my time on social media. so, most of the time i guess

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2015?

ok its 2017 already but im gonna change it to “...change dramaticallybefore 2018?″. not so much, it has changed a lot in a year already

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

social

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

yes, my guy best friend, we were both drunk, shit happens. it kind ofbrought us together as friends hahaha

13. What about ‘R’?

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

thats the only type of vehicle i drive

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

i’d like to say no but yeah, i do. it depends on what people tho

16. Are you going out of town soon?

probably tomorrow. i go “out of town” a lot

17. When was the last time you cried?

i dont remember. about two months ago i think

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah.huge mistake

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

maybe i’d change my eyes from hazel to a deeper green

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

i thinkso

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

i haven’t finished the essay i was gonna present today, now i’ll have topresent it tomorrow

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

i loveit, yesss

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my couch

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

my bestfriend

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

i do

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

mybrother

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

no, i get colds once a year, twice a year tops

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

idk, idc

30. Does anyone hate you?

i thinkso. im sorry

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

no, im asocial drinker

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

hate them

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

hell no

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

either 2014 or 2015. big parts of 2016 too... maybe a little bit of thisone but its been the best year i’ve ever lived since 2013.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

yeah, the seniors in my old high school were 10x better than last yearseniors -when i was a senior- and teachers loved them (teachers hated mygeneration) and they all graduated from IB and had their diplomas linned up inthe hall (i didnt graduated from IB or get the diploma and everyone hated me bci was the only student in my generation that failed and so no one could say“gen16 was a 100% IB generation! the first one in this high school!” bc of me)

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

a coupleof weeks ago

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

i hopenot

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

a couple of people, tiny andd small feelings but i now they do

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

maybe wondering what happened to me, yeah. but probably no one is

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

yes, areally good one

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

not a serious one but yeah

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

yeah, lots of girls. but im a girl and i like boys so who cares if ihang out with a girl

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yes and lots of times and they did lose me. i just couldn’t handle themany longer, my patience couldn’t take it anymore, it had been YEARS of dealingwith the same shit and enough was enough. but i couldn’t break theirheart so i just told them i had changed and left. that probably makes me anasshole but idc

44. What’s the best part about school?

meeting new people all the time, learning new amazing things and gettingto test them and the late night bar celebrations when we nailed a test

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

of course, why wouldn’t i?

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

i used to do that in 7th grade, not anymore

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

yes i wish i could change so many things, so many situations in which idid the wrong thing

48. Were you single over the last summer?

oh yeah and i had never been so happy of being single

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

just a little bit but it has changed A LOT and im grateful for it

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

finishingmy essay...

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

im hating him rn but most of the time i love that guy. stupid guys

52. Are you nice to everyone?

most people. im not nice to one single person but im nice to the rest ofthe human population. fuck that bitch tho

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

i’ve only liked people i didn’t expect to. except one guy probably.

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

i’ve never cheated, i think i can last a lifetime without cheating.cheating is a horrible thing to do, i don’t wish it on anybody

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

i used to be very good, lately i suck at it but idc anymore, its ok

56. Do you think you like someone?

kind of

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

yes and i would do it again

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

girls are sketchy, boys are chill. i get along better with guys but theyare also clueless idiots so... some guys

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

yes

60. Do you hate anyone?

61. How’s your heart?

confused but healthy and happy like it hasn’t been in years

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

plenty ofthings

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

no and i dont plan on ever doing it

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

the same boring bitches that always have, “”friends”“ and also their stupidparents that care too much about what i do with my life. fuck off

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

i really hope not, not again

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

no, i hate sensitive, dramatic people. if he cries for a good reasonthen ok but i wouldn’t love it, i’d be sad for him too

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my bestfriend from Peru

70. How do you look right now?

ok, butmessy

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

plenty of people (family and friends), im an open book

72. Can you commit to one person?

yes, but it looks like however made this questions cant

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

thought i did, turns out i dont

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yes, a couple of times. always by friends tho

75. Did you wake up cranky?

not today, i had an amazing night of sleep

76. Are you a jealous person?

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

yes yes yes, SO WORTH IT. you just have to find the right person

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

not rn

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

more like craving to see him. fuck my life

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

turn in this stupid essay i’ve mentioned twice already

81. Last person you cried in front of?

bestfriend

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

yeah

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

a littlebit

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably taking a walk and talking and staring at his beautiful smile

85. Are you over your past?

most of it. the latest “past” is still haunting me but im getting overit slowly

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

not morethan physical attraction

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

three tofour people

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

if i had one i could answer this. i think i kind of did and i wouldn’taccept it

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

what do you want??, what is the matter with you??, what on earth are youdoing here?? FUCK OFF.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

yes

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

yeah

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

i live in Costa Rica, im latina. guys here have names like “Jose, JuanPablo, Andres, Gerardo, Alonso”, not “Matthew, James”. so of course i haven’t

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

no and i lived the single life at its finest

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

he’s a fucking model for fuck’s sakes, he’s a GOD. he’s so hot. why am ifriends with him?? itcomplicates everything

97. Who do you have texts from?

my best friends, my guy friends, my family group chat, my girl friendsgroup chats, my crush

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

thats great, and do you think she likes you? hey good luck! *pretends idont have feelings and keeps on being a good friends*

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

the first person i ever kissed was a year older than me

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

ok in my tumblr icon im with my best friend, in my whatsapp, twitter andfacebook profile pictures im alone

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

done! that took me like an hour damn... sorry to the people who’s dashboard i interrupted with this post

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percywinchester27 · 7 years

Text

We’ll be fine

Word count: 2800-ish

Pairing: Dean X Reader

Warning: Pregnancy, Panic attack, There’s another trigger but I don’t want to give it away, so please maybe check the tags? ANGST, some fluff at the end?

A/N: This is the first fic for @mrs-squirrel-chester‘s “Album Fanfiction Challenge.” I’ve chosen the “A Walk to Remember Movie Album.” I am terribly late with this one and here’s to hoping that I can finish the challenge within time!

Song Prompt: “You” by Switchfoot. It’s a beautiful song guys, listen to it!

This came to me and I had to write it down. Just that’s all. Sorry in advance?

Beta AKA Life-saver @sdavid09 I love you :* Feedback is really appreciated! Please let me know how you like it! :)

“We’re here,” your sister announced huffing slightly as she shoved the door aside. You immediately rushed forward to push the door further.

“How many times do I have to tell you to not push stuff like that?” You admonished her.

“It’s no big deal Y/N,” she said, walking into the health facility and heading towards the counter, “It’s just that the lil’ one is a bit feisty today.” You smiled as she lovingly touched her swollen belly.

Your elder sister was almost eight months pregnant and that was why you were here in the diagnostic centre, to accompany her for a sonography she had scheduled. She took a seat in the waiting area after confirming the appointment with the receptionist and you sat down opposite to her. You looked around. The place was stark, white and clinical, every bit as boring as you had expected it to be.

“Why am I here again?” You asked, before continuing sarcastically, “Yeah right, because Steve’s a dick.”

“It’s not like that,” she said. “He had to be at work today.” She sighed.

Yeah, basically a dick, you wanted to say, who the fuck prioritizes earning money over getting to see their baby? Good for her that the bunker was just a couple hour’s drive from where she stayed. It was a total coincidence that you had called her and she’d mentioned about the appointment.

“I wanted you to see your nephew/niece too, Y/N.”

You smiled a little, the whole pregnancy thing was… well, not your cup of tea.

“Oh look,” your sister gasped.

“What? Where?” Your hunter’s instinct kicked in as you looked around wildly, your hand immediately finding the sheathed knife tucked in the waistband of your jeans.

“My stomach, Y/N.” Your sister sounded resigned. “Why are you always so jumpy?”

What were you going to tell her? That it was your reflex because you hunt monsters with your boyfriend and his brother? And stay in this old and cryptic bunker full of books on apparently non-existing mythology and lore? So you kept your mouth shut and paid attention to what she was pointing at.

“Oh god Lee, is that supposed to happen?” Your hand flew to your mouth. There were movements on the surface of her belly, like a miniscule tide running beneath the surface of the cloth covered skin.

Your sister only laughed. “Yeah Y/N, the baby is supposed to move.”

It was a different feeling, warmth and love combined with a tingly trepidation. You loved Lee with everything that you had, there was a good 10 years age gap between you but she’d always been your best friend, your closest confident. She had been more of a mother to you than your sister, so seeing her like this, almost glowing with happiness made you happy too. You knew she’d make a great mother to one hell of a lucky kid.

“Can I feel the baby?” You asked nervously.

“Of course,” she encouraged, pulling your hand and placing it over the baby bump. For a few seconds nothing happened, then there was a slight movement beneath the stretched skin and squealed, jumping up from your seat. “The baby moved, it moved.”

It was the weirdest feeling in the entire damn world, to feel something inside of someone but you were so happy for your sister than you couldn’t help but smile wider. Briefly you wondered what it must be to have a life inside you, but you quickly banished thought.

The nurse came in then asking Lee to step into the changing room, so she could get dressed in the scrubs before the sonography.

“We’ve been only talking about me Y/N, you’ve got to tell me more about your green eyed bad boy,” she smirked as she stood up.

“We have all the time,” you blushed. “Go get changed, I’ll see you inside.”

“I’ll be the one in blue,” she winked, slipping into the changing room behind the nurse.

You laughed to yourself. Your sister had been the first to know about Dean when the two of you had started dating. Of course she didn’t really know who he was or what he did, but after meeting him, she’d agreed with you that a sexier man probably didn’t exist. You leaned back in your chair thinking about the total coincidence it was to meet the Winchesters. You had been in the final year of your college when one of your friends had been killed in the locked dormitory. Needless to say, you had been devastated, but the two unusually attractive FBI agents who had come to investigate the matter seemed to ask weird questions. You still remembered your confusion when they had asked you about seeing black smoke or if there had been the smell of rotten eggs. That night you had found them lurking around the hostel and after threatening to call the actual police on them, they had finally confessed to who they actually were.

That one day had turned your life around. Not only had you helped the Winchesters with finding the demon who had gotten to your friend, but you had decided to stick around with them. At first, you never got along with Dean, he was too good looking for anyone’s benefit and being around him always had you riled up like a coil. On his part, he could never understand why you’d like to leave behind a completely normal, apple-pie life and jump willingly into this mess that was hunting. You got his point though because you had heard all the gruesome back stories about other hunters and the revenge that had gotten them into this life. The Winchester’s story wasn’t a fairy tale either, so it was easy for you to understand his annoyance.

You on the other hand, had been raised into an ideal family of doctors and lawyers. Your father had been a physicist in his days and was now enjoying a quiet retired life along with your mother who baked everyday to keep herself busy. Both of your siblings were settled and you couldn’t have been happier for them. You’d told them your job required you to travel a lot and was in the public service department. It wasn’t technically a lie, but it sure stopped their queries about where you lived. You had always been the odd man out, wanting to help people and wanting to be adventurous. Whether Dean got it or not, the hunter’s life suited you perfectly and what was more? You had turned out to be a natural, quick learner with deadly instincts. It had come as a shock even to you.

Over time, Dean had begrudgingly accepted that you were good at hunting, and started respecting your choices. You had… well not exactly gotten used to the hotness, but well, accepted it. It wasn’t Dean’s fault that he made you weak in the knees, and you decided to not hold it against him. Once the two of you actually got past that, there was no stopping the endless flirting, until one day, Sam had had enough and locked you in one room. But that’s a story for another time.

Dean was the perfect boyfriend anyone could ask for. He had accepted you for who you were, with your every fault and flaw; you had given up on that hope ages ago. When he had whispered those three words to you one morning, hot and sweaty, after revering you all night long, you had looked away from him, letting the guilt seep into your bones. It was shortly after that night that you had finally confessed to him… crying into his arms… and he had held on to you, letting you know that didn’t matter to him, because he truly did love you.

“Miss Y/L/N,” the RN called, snapping you out of your thoughts. “We’re bringing your sister in. If you could please accompany me this way?”

You quickly got up shaking your head and followed her into a small, dark room. Your sister was already there, lying on her back, peeking up at the monitor. The dim glow was high-lighting her features slightly.

“Eerie, isn’t it?” She giggled, stretching out her hand, which you willingly took. Your sister was really excited for this.

The doctor came in then, smiling good-naturedly at the two of you. He briefly explained the procedure and then set to work, squeezing the jelly-like liquid over her belly and pressing the probe over it.

“You see there?” He pointed at an oval shape, it’s the baby’s head… It seems elongated because we are applying a little pressure up there. And that? That’s the brain.“

Your sister was squeezing your hand so tightly, it was painful, but you didn’t shirk away. Your eyes were glued to the screen in awe. "I see it,” you whispered.

The doc moved the probe sideways and then up. “Those tiny wiggling things that you see? Those are the little toes. You’ve got a kickass baby right here Mrs. Stevens, wouldn’t stop moving, this one.”

Lee giggled, through the tears that were now oozing out from the corner of her eyes.

“You sure you don’t wanna know whether it’s a girl or a boy?”

“No Doc, we’d rather it’s a surprise.” She said, staring into the screen, not wanting to miss a single second.

“As you wish. Ahhh… there it is, strong and healthy.” He pointed at a tiny pulsating blob on the screen, “That’s the baby’s heart…”

“I see it, I see it,” Lee squealed, “Y/N?” She shook you out of your shell-shocked posture. “You hear that?” She asked.

“Y…Yeah… I do, Lee… I do,” you replied softly. And you could hear the continuous rhythm of the most cherished thing ever, magnified by the Doppler.

Thump thump… thump thump… thump thump…

It was pretty late by the time you got to the bunker. You were expecting both Sam and Dean to be asleep. You had dropped your sister back at her place after buying her a quick dinner. The whole deal had taken up more time than you had expected. You walked slowly down the steps, closing the door to the bunker as quietly as you could. The damn thing still creaked though.

“Y/N?” A voice sounded from the library. Your favorite voice in the world.

You didn’t answer, you couldn’t.

“Is that you sweetheart?” The voice sounded closer now and Dean appeared beneath the lintel of the archway leading from the foyer to the library.

You walked up to him slowly, aimlessly, till you were right in front of him, looking at him, but not really seeing him.

“Y/N/N?” His hands found your shoulders and he shook you lightly, calling you out. There was a distinct note of panic in his voice. You looked at him then, up until now, it hadn’t even registered that he was standing in front of you.

The edges of vision started to shine a little brighter, or where they blacking out? You could feel it now, slowly but steadily, you vision was tunneling, making you feel sick and nauseous to your stomach. All of a sudden you couldn’t feel the air, you couldn’t even feel your lungs. You tried to take a deep breath but it felt like you were choking up. There was a weird sucking sound. You tried to look around to find the source of that sound, willing the darkness to subside, but floor started to appear closer that should be… approaching towards you faster.

“Whoa… Whoa, Y/N!” Dean’s firm hands caught you before you could hit the floor.

“I’m sorry,” you managed, but your voice seemed throaty, almost like… like you were suffocating or crying. That’s when you realized, that sucking sounds was the sound of your sobs; agonizing and excruciating sobs. “I’m s-sorry, I’m sorry,” you kept repeating.

“Shhh… Shhh Y/N/N… It’s okay. Sweetheart it’s okay… I got you,” Dean kept saying, rubbing soothing circles into your back. You never realized when during the whole thing he’d pulled you into his lap. But somehow your head had ended up tucked beneath his chin, your ear pressed to his heart.

Thump thump… thump thump… thump thump…

You cried harder, scaring Dean and he pulled you closer to him, cradling your head in his hands.

“I’m sorry… I’m crying…b-but I can’t stop, I’m trying to…,” you cried, your breath coming in short bursts. You tried to get yourself under control, tried to calm down enough to at least tell Dean the “Why,” but any attempt to calm the onslaught of emotions only brought back all the wrong memories… and you wept harder…

You were 13 and in the doctor’s clinical, cold room as he threw around words like polymenorrhea, cysts in ovaries, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. You were young and scared, unable to understand the meaning. What you did understand was what your mother had told you- “It’s okay Sweetie, it’ll be little painful, but nothing you have to worry about. There are medicines. This doesn’t have to mean anything. You’ll be fine.”

You were 18, back again in the same stark white room, in front of the same doctor. Endometriosis, they said now. You understood things a bit better now. Your mother had asked- “What does it mean?” The doctor had shook his head. Severe case, chances of pregnancy are rare to nil. Your mother had held you that night as you cried, asking the forbidden question- “Why me?” There was no answer to that and your mother knew that. She had cried with you, kissing your brow over and over again, repeating those same old words- “You’ll be fine Sweetie, you’ll be fine.”

You were 28, sitting in the laundry room and Dean hugged you close, enveloping you in his arms. It had been a couple of days since Dean had confessed to loving you, of wanting more with you and you had been avoiding him. Avoiding telling him the truth and facing it yourself. He had somehow cornered you in here while you were doing the laundry, confronting you about the past few days. You had told him then, eventually ending up as a mess on the floor… Not because of your inability to conceive a child, no… you had accepted that. But because you were deadly scared, you would lose the best thing in your life, this… what you had with Dean. He however had only embraced you tighter, whispering words of comfort and promises of still loving you. Nestled in his arms, you had breathed a sigh of relief, reassuring yourself that you’ll be fine.

“Quit saying sorry, Y/N,” Dean’s words pulled you back up. “It’s not your fault. It isn’t anybody’s.”

“I feel horrible,” you sniffed, making a violent effort to calm down enough to get the words out. “I-I should be happy for her, and I am. And I love the little kid already… b-but… I just… I am a terrible person. I feel angry and frustrated. I know she is happy and she should be, but a small despicable part of me wanted her to understand that I might be hurting a bit too. I am bad. I hate myself for feeling like this.”

“Listen to me,” Dean said, pushing you back slightly so he could look into your eyes, his brilliant green meeting your Y/E/C. "You’re strong and brave and amazing for doing this. You love your sister and she’s so damn lucky to have you.”

“Then why am I feeling this way? Why does it feel like something is tearing my heart into two?” You lowered your voice then, feeling criminal and wretched. “Why do I want one of my own too?”

“Oh sweetheart, it’s okay to feel that way. C'mere…” He pulled you back to him. “I need you to understand that feeling this way doesn’t mean you don’t love your sister or that you’re a bad person. It only means you’re human. Someone I love with everything I got. Now, we might not have a kid of our own but we still got each other right?”

You nodded. “You know I haven’t really ever considered kids, hell I know that the life we live doesn’t really give us that liberty. I-I just would have liked to have an option.” It felt like confessing a sin somehow.

“I know what you mean, but it’s okay, we could go the Bobby way. We’ll be the cool Aunt and Uncle to Lee’s and Sammy’s kids. We’ll teach the kids all the cool stuff like scamming and picking up chicks… huh?”

“Or snubbing handsome, green-eyed boys who are too eager to pick them up,” you smiled coyly, drawing patterns on his chest.

“Yeah that too.” You could feel him deflating slightly at your smart mouth comeback, the tension leaving his shoulders. “Let’s get you into bed now, shall we?”

“Yeah,” you replied, suddenly tired. Dean pulled you up, wrapping one arm around your waist, supporting most of your weight and carried you to the room you shared.

You couldn’t help but wonder what you would have done without this man. He was your everything and for some inexplicable reason, he felt the same about you too. When you couldn’t find the strength to fight off the helplessness, he was there lending it to you. You found love, hope and peace in those beautiful eyes. You found yourself in him.

When you got to the room, he helped you undress for bed, making a quick work of his own clothes and slipped next to you under the sheets. The anxiety and crying from earlier had worn you out more than you knew; you quickly lapsed into a drowsy sleep. Dean’s fingers carding softly through your hair were like a talisman and you nestled deeper into him, sighing in contentment. You weren’t completely out, but were as close to losing consciousness as you could be without actually being asleep. His lips were ghosting across your forehead felt feather-light, peppering light kisses along the way. It could be a dream, you couldn’t be sure, but the last thing you remembered was his lips close to your ears, his breath enticingly hot on your skin.

“I love you, Y/N/N,” he whispered, “We’ll be fine.”

Tags:

@d-s-winchester @supernatural-jackles @deanscherrypie @sis-tafics@deathtonormalcy56@wildfirewinchester @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @mrswhozeewhatsis@torn-and-frayed @mamapeterson

My forever babe:

@coyotesmate @sdavid09 @grace-for-sale@fandomsaremylivelihood @percussiongirl2017@charliebradbury1104 @winchesterprincessbride@adorable-assbutt@unefemmedelettres@bellastellaluna@pizzarollpatrol@melonberri @cornflax01@plaidstiel-wormstache@wevegotworktodo @bagiab@carry-on-my-akward-son @chaos-and-the-calm67@chelsea072498@wayward-mirage @kas-not-cas@kristaparadowski@theulimatefangirll@feelmyroarrrr@cici0507@spirallingdownfandoms@thatshellfiredean@superblyscrumptiousdonut@summer-binging-spn@disneychic8@alteregoidentity@livelovelike555@kickasscas67@yoursmilemakesmeloveyou@jotink78@plainoldblogs @dustycelt@donnaintx@frenchybell @nolairishangel @buckysmetallicstump@mrsbatesmotel53 @tiny-sam-is-my-jam @fairytalesexistxx @totallynotjohngreen@supernaturalyobsessed @supernaturaldouches@steampunkd16 @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @tricialaike @justafanwarrior@whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @naadestiel @raylin19 @gemini75eeyore

My Dean Tags:

@gbuttry @jxackles @ruprecht0420 @mckiee-mouse @jamrsgang @nebica@wonderlandercat@rosiesstanderds @silver-heart-fighter @leather-moccasin-hero @two-feet-of-topsoil@betterlattethennever @liveyourlifemeraki

(Psstt.. I am making a tag list! If you want an in on the forever tags, Dean tags, Sam tags or the series tags, just send me an ASK :))

Masterlist of SPN Fanfiction

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imsarabum · 7 years

Text

Responses to {Part 15} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

ALSO I have included asks I received to do with IWSY in the hours leading up to before I posted it because there was a few! So if you sent in an ask to do with IWSY and I didn’t post it - it will be in this post!

@kpopppimagines said: *Looks at clock, notices time, starts to dance strangely and do weird jazz hand motions* Wooooooooo yeahhhhhhhh! So excited! Xx 🙌🏼🙌🏼💕

Ahhh I really hope you liked the chapter love!

Anonymous said: Hope the new chapter will be as great as the rest!! Really looking forward to what direction the story will go in❤️❤️

I hope it lived up to your expectations :D

@mocking-butts said: I'm probably way too excited for this chapter because holy moly i need more!!! Honestly one of my favorite fanfics i love it <3

I really hope you enjoyed it my dear ^^ Thank you very much!

@audreymv said: I wanna kill Yoongi like mate I UGH I CANT. Like why and now Jungkook cant tell her his secret just omg everything os crashing down. I love this so mich but Yoongi he is ooooo on my list in this fanfic. Loving it so far 😘😘😘

Just when he was about to tell her :c How can he tell her now?! heh ^^ Thank you so much for reading it!

Anonymous said: Wow, new chapter of IWSY was really good! I'm so glad to finally get some backstory on the reader, but I kind of feel bad for Jungkook now.. Because how will the reader react when he tells her? And Yoongi's going to the ball so she'll recognise him.. Ahhh! Well, I suppose there's nothing to do but patiently wait. Stay healthy and keep up the hard work! Thanks

I’m so happy you thought it was good! I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how she will react when/if he tells her ^^ lol Thank you so much for reading and I hope you stay healthy too!

@loverofotome said: 😱😱 IT'S THEIR FATE TO BE TOGETHER 😱😱 I was definitely not expecting that. Yoongi seems to think there's something special about her and I can't help but wonder what that is. Ahhh! I love your writing and it's so good, as always. I can't wait until next week!

IT WAS DESTINY~~ hehe ^^ I wonder what’s so special about her? I guess we will have to wait to find out :D Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have an awesome day :)

@doubletroublesince1994 said: NOPE. NEVER EXPECTED THIS. BUT THIS. HOW DARE YOU. OMGGGG WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOU LEFT ME WITH A CLIFFHANGER EVEN IF IT ISN'T ONE?????? UGH I LOVE YOU.

I am very very sorry c: hehe~ I love you too and thank you very much for reading the chapter!!

Anonymous said: oh my gosh, yoongi.. what he did was so cruel. and that's why he's looking for y/n... i'm really curious about when and what's going to happen when y/n finds out jungkook is a vampire

Why did he do it though? And what’s the reason he is looking for her? Is it to just dimply finish what he began? If so - is he going to go looking for Sid, too? ;o SO many questions! haha ^^ Thank you for reading the chapter!

@omelys-space said: IT ALL CONNECTS GOD DAMN! Like how amazing is this update 😍 I am honestly excited for every update you post and they never let me down Thank you ❤

I’m so happy that you can see it all connecting and beginning to come together to make a bigger picture! There is still much more to come :D hehe Thank you very much and it makes me happy that you said I never let you down. Thank you!

Anonymous said: Honestly this fan fiction is one of the best things I've ever read. I hate reading, but this story has changed my perspective about it! IWSY is also the first long fanfic that I've read heh~ I just want you to know that I think you are a really good writer and the stories that you make are amazing! I am in love with this story!❤️❤️ -Ro (you don't know me but I'm gonna put my name anyway☺️)

Hi Ro! :D Ahhh thank you so much for your wonderful words, I’m smiling so much! And thank you also for reading my series and I’m so happy that you’re enjoying it ^^

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: IM S C R E A M I NG I DIDNT EXPECT THAT AT ALLLLLL FUCJSKSKKFMFMGMDMAMZMXMXKSK I LOVE

YAAAAAY I’m glad I could surprise you! I think a lot of people thought it was either going to be Yoongi or Jungkook that had something to do with her parents death. But in a way - they both did, I guess :D Thank you so much for reading the update!!

@im-so-scared-aaaa said: Ok, I'm suppose to be studying, but now I'm shooked ^^ Thank you😿

I hope you managed to get back to studying you naughty child! c: Haha thank you so much for reading it and I hope you enjoyed it too!

Anonymous said: That curveball thoooooooo I don't want jungkook to be hurt :"( how is he ever going to tell reader about his secret like this 😰😰😰😰

I know :( How could you ever tell someone that after what they just told you? :(

Anonymous said: OMG This chapter give me chills!!! It's amazing, I am loving how the plot starts to thicken ... things are about to get a while lot more intense and complicated isn't it ?!😏 I honestly can't wait for the update , thank you so much for updating every week. I Love you and you writing so much❤

I’m so happy I could give you chills c: And...it may possibly get more complicated and intense from this moment on...yes c: Thank you so much for reading and I love you too! Have an awesome day :D

Anonymous said: Ah this chapter was so angsty... I never read angst but You did so well!! Ta! x U.K. Anon :)

I do enjoy writing angst a lot :) It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written something very angsty since my Who Are You? series! Thank you so much fellow U.K anon!

@moonlighthollow said: I somehow new that her parents were killed by a vampire But Holy shit it's yoongi He's scary af 😐 Poor brother😭 Poor girl😭 And poor jungkookie😭 It was good as always tho😅😊

Idk about you but evil Yoongi gives me such a sexy vibe isfskdgksjng lol Thank you for reading the update and I hope you have a wonderful day babe!

Anonymous said: I don't know if I'm shivering because it's cold in my room, or because of ch 15 of IWSY... Oh my fxxking god!!!! I mean, there were hints, so the plot doesn't come as much as a surprise, but the writing style had me sucked into the story completely! Loved it! 👏🏻💕

I am also shivering but my reason is that it is DEFINITELY cold right now TT I want it to be summer already I’m so DONE with the cold lol Thank you very much for reading the update and I hope you’ll enjoy the future chapters too!

Anonymous said: I LOVE YOU AND WRITING SOOO MUCH!!! ❤❤❤

I LOVE YOU TOO THANK YOU BABE! :D

Anonymous said: Hi Sara!! I'm the anon that had that super late 7:45 class, so I couldn't read IWSY a couple weeks ago when it updated. ANYWAYS, I usually post some kind of ask to you every update you have, but the past couple weeks I haven't been able to because of school T.T SO, I wanted to finally message you again and tell you how WONDERFUL IWSY is! Not gonna lie, it is my ALL TIME FAVORITE FIC that I have ever found on Tumblr! Like the last couple chapters with the smut.. WOO DAMN GIRL. (cont.) Usually I read the smut for the smut (lol), BUT when I read those chapters, I was so engrossed in the story that I wanted to know what was going to happen next more than reading more smut X3. AND THEN YOU HAD TO COME OUT WITH THIS NEXT CHAPTER AND HOT DAMN. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET MY FRIENDS TO READ IWSY SO THAT I CAN TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT BUT NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO ME >.< Anyways, keep up the good work! You keep throwing curve balls my way gah damn. (2/2) - 7:45 anon

Hello 7:45 anon! That’s okay, I completely understand and you don’t have to apologise or explain yourself because school/work is important and I’m glad you’re focused on your studies! But thank you so much for reading and catching up with the series, and I’m really happy that you’re liking it ^^ Awwww I hope once of your friends reads it too so you guys can talk about it with each other! That’s so cute haha c: Thank you so much and I hope you have a great week :D

Anonymous said: BRRROOOOOOOOOHMYGOD WHAT THE FUCK HWAT THE FUCK WHAT THE F U C K OOOHHHH MY GOD!!!! pls tell me the next chapter is the charity ball I'm READY for the action the drama GIRL PLS I cannot wAIT GIRL!!! That chapter had me yelling at the top of my lungs 😱😱😱

*giggles* thank you so much for reading! The ball will come soon - I promise! Just hold on tight a bit longer :D I hope you enjoyed it my dear!

@fashionkilla124 said: I love you. That I won't stop you story just stopped my heart. I honestly knew yoongi had something to do with but when I found out yoongi killed her parents I was like NOOOOI NOT MY BABY YOONGI AWWW LAWD TAKE THE WHEEL PLEASE. I cant wait for next week I'll probs have a heart attack next chapter

Awh I love you too :D hehe~ Evil baby Yoongi what is he doing :c lol thank you so much for reading the update and I really hope you’ll look forward to next week too!!

Anonymous said: Omg poor Sid 😞 he was only four...DAMMIT Yoongi

I know :( Poor Sid indeed - but I wonder why Yoongi did it...;)

Anonymous said: Damn in the span of like four days (not including the hours they're at work) they've managed to christen every room the house, didn't you say there were like 13 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, not to mention the kitchen, living room etc.?? Damn they got busy 😏

LOLOLOL they got busy indeed c: Haha it was more so meant as a sexually comedic idiom, but if it’s possible it’s possible! lol I hope you enjoyed the chapter my dear :D

Anonymous said: BISH. I'm jungshook rn. I can't. I love you. But why you play with my emotions like this? I love this story. I love you. I love Jungkook. I love the way chapter 15 snatched my edges and left them at a bus stop in Miami. You're the best. ~With love, New Kookie Anon

Hello new kookie anon! lol Jungshook~ I think everyone becomes a little Jungshook from time to time c: I love you too my dear!! I hope you got home safely from the bus stop in Miami xD thank you so much for reading the update!

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK AHHHHHH SARA OMG I CANT FUCKING EVEN OF COURSE YOONGI KILL ED Y/NS PARENTS AND NOW WANTS HER BLOOD. OMG OF FUCKING COURSE. I NEED TUESDAY TO COME BACK HOLY SHIT I'M SCREAMING SARA. Y DO YOU DO THIS TO ME. I CANT EVEN THINK CLEARLY THIS FUCKED ME UP THIS MADE MY DAY 10000X BETTER BECAUSE I HAD A SHITTY DAY. SO THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OMG I AM SHOOK

OOOOOH BUT WHY DOES HE WANT HER BLOOD?! That’s the most important question ;D lolol I’m so glad I could make your day a little less shitter though c: I love you too and thank you so much for reading the new chapter my dear!

Anonymous said: OMG MY HEART! THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WAS JUST SO HAJSKCLZPAVAVAFUCABAKDLXLXNAL(ノﾟДﾟ)

AHHHHH I HOPE THAT’S A GOOD THING! I hope you enjoyed it ^^

Anonymous said: Oh mai gawdddd!!! Sara you're such a good writer! Part 15 of IWSY gave me the major feels!!!! Poor kookie... Halfway through part 15, I already knew what was going to happen before I read it, but you're so skilled that you still managed to make it sad T-T. I can't wait for part 16!!!

Ahhh thank you so much my darling :) You’re too kind to me! Thank you very much for reading the update and I hope you enjoy the next chapter as well!

Anonymous said: I cant believe Vampire evil yoongi was looking for y/n since back then ONG GET A LIFE LMAO love your serie💜

But remember that he has been locked up for the past 13 years! So he has had a lot of time to plan c: Thank you so much for reading and enjoying it my love ^^

Anonymous said: 😭😭 I wish it's a happy ending for Jungkook and Y/N, in the "I Won't Stop You" series. I love you Author-nim!

I wish for that too my dear! I love you too and thank you for reading my series *hugs* Have a wonderful day!

@jynxy24 said: SARA SARA SARA SARA SARA!!!! WHEN WILL JUNGKOOK TELL Y/N?! ARGHHHH YOU ARE PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS! LIKE JUST WHEN HE WAS ABOUT TO TELL? COME ON!!! This is just like when I found out Who Are You was a dream. T.T But i still love your writing Sara! Great chapter today, stay awesome! 👅👅

But how can he tell her straight away now right after she just dropped that bombshell on him?! So many questions hehe :P I hope you enjoyed the chapter anyway my dear ^^ I hope you have a wonderful week and thank you so much for reading!

@lostheretics said: i thought they were going to the fundraising ball in part 15 but they had a deep talk instead asdfghjkl kill me rn bc y/n's secrets omg😭😭 iM STILL CONFUSED WHAT's THE SPECIAL THING THAT YOONGI WANTS FROM HER

Deep, heart to heart pillow talks are my fav thing in the world *feels very soft at this thought* ahhhh :c lolol And I guess you’ll just have to wait to find out why he wants her so badly! Hopefully, someone will be able to tell Jungkook too, before it’s too late...heh ^^ Thank you for reading my love and I hope you’re enjoying the story!

Anonymous said: oh my fucking god :( i hope y/n wont abandon jungkook once she found out he a whole dracula :(( oh my god no but then ill love that because I LOVE PAIN but no dont do it LMAO WAIT WILL Y/N RECOGNIZE YOONGI AT THE BALL HOLY FUCKING SHIT

I hope she won’t either :c He deserves to be loved since he is so capable of loving now! You masochist hehe (fucking same tho) c: Thank you so much for reading my dear!

Anonymous said: SO YOONGI HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR Y/N FOR YEARS NOW??? IT SEEMS LIKE Y/N'S PARENTS PROTECTED HERSMJWHFJD WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT ABT HER IS SHE SOME TYPE OF VAMPIRE GOD LIKE SOMEONE EVEN MORE SUPERIOR THAN JUNGKOOKS FAMILY?? IS THAT WHY YOONGI WANTS HER SO MUCH???

Well if you remember, Yoongi has been locked up for 13 years but has now only escaped with the help of Namjoon, Hoseok and Seokjin! Hehe I hope you enjoy how the story unfolds c: Thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: OMG THE BACK STORY I'M CRYING how will y/n react if jungkook tell her the truth bruh I can't take the suspense AND ALSO IS THE BALL NEXT WEEK???? I WANNA SEE HER DRESS OMG

In the story, Y/N and Jungkook are currently talking when it is Friday night - so the ball is on the Saturday; which is the next day! c: And yessssss! I wonder what type of dress Taehyung and Jimin are creating...I think it will be a masterpiece~ Thank you for reading my series! :D

@semisweetsuga said: MY HEART. SARA MY LOVE YOU HAVE HURT ME BUT I'M OKAY WITH IT BECAUSE THAT UPDATE WAS BEAUTIFUL. I LOVED IT SM GOOD JOB!!

I’m sorry for hurting your heart Koto :c Please forgive me ahhhhh. I love you a lot and thank you for always being so fucking awesome ^=^

@manibbunny said: i am sure that Y/N will be understanding of jungkook when he tells her about him being a vampire. she will get sad but she loves him and she knows he's different and won't do something like that ever again. loved the new chapter btw!

I hope she is understanding of Jungkook too! I think if you really love someone and have feelings for them like that - love can always find a way and triumph. So I hope that’s the case for Jungkook and Y/N too! Thank you for reading the update my love and I hope you enjoy the rest of the series too!

Anonymous said: Oh yoongi's been after OC since she was young.. Loved the chapter. I'm even more excited to find out what's special abt the OC. I wonder also why jungkook (and taehyung) dont know what's special if yoongi knows? (You dont need to answer that ofc. just me voicing my thoughts while reading). Looking forward to next tuesday~

Don’t worry - I always love to read people’s thoughts so think and say all you want! But yeah, you’re right - I won’t ever say whether is someone is wrong or right :3 Jungkook and Y/N will be talking with Taehyung and Jimin before the ball when they go to get her dress (which is the next day in the story if you remember ^^) So I wonder if something will happen then?! c: Thank you for reading and enjoying my series dear ^^ It means a lot to me!

@animeimmortal said: wow. Just wow. Like I am so curious as to how this is going to turn out but right now I'm just amazed omg

I hope you’ll enjoy how the story unfolds and pans out in time! Thank you for reading the update beautiful ^=^

@taekookiesandcream said: Sara, my love, part 15 was amazing! You keep out-doing yourself!! You're so so talented and I want you to know your very appreciated! Also, I feel really bad for only speaking to you when you update lol, I'll try and speak to you more often, pinky promise 🙋🏼💕

Ach, thank you so much my little flower ^^ And no oh my goodness don’t feel bad about doing that! You can always talk to me whenever you wish - my DMs are always open! (although I may not be able ot reply straight away due to work and Uni etc~ I will reply eventually lol!) Thank you so much dear :D

Anonymous said: SHIT JUST GOT REAL

YOU BET YOUR DAMN ASS IT GOT REAL HOHOHOHO

#queue #I Won't Stop You #Asks #Responses #IWSY #imsarabum

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