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wandering-night19 · 1 year

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Lonestar Proud Thoughts and Feelings

Okay, so to start this off the two most important things to know are 1. I took my sister with me who has never seen an episode 2. I have crippling anxiety. I’m not being sarcastic or funny it can be truly debilitating at times. In fact it has me replaying everything that happened in a loop and not in a good way. But I left Saturday afternoon happy and having had an amazing time, so I keep reminding myself of that.

So this is going to be very long winded and I will put it beneath the cut along with every picture I took that day.

We were assigned to table 5 and at first it seemed like it was just going to be the two of us at the table, but we were later joined by four of the volunteers. I had no idea it was going to be so small and intimate, so I was immediately terrified because it would be impossible to be lost in a crowd of people.

They gave us the lineup for the day saying we’d start with autographs, then photos, then lunch, and after would be the Q&A. I swear to god it felt like an out of body experience when they came out. All day I couldn’t quite believe it was real.

Because we were at table 5 which was basically the volunteer table we went last for everything. Which was fine with me, I promise! I very literally could not let go of my sister the entire time. If I didn’t have a death grip on her sweater she was holding my hand. When we were called up for autographs there was no one at Rafa’s table and a line at Ronen’s, so we started with Rafa.

I was absolutely frozen. I couldn’t even say hi and I barely made eye contact. I just stared at the table. My sister did all the talking, which resulted in one of our favorite quotes from the day where she asked Rafa if he spoke Spanish. (I die a little every time I remember it.) Because there was a slight awkward silence while he read the poem my sister apologized for both her hand writing and any spelling errors as she doesn’t speak Spanish and was merely copying it down. He said there were no mistakes and commented on how beautiful it is before asking if it was for him. My sister explained I wanted it signed, he hesitated and said it was way too pretty to ruin with his autograph and then signed it anyway. We then had him sign a blank piece of cardstock because my plan is to turn it into a sticker for my hydroflask. He smiled and thanked us for coming and I feel like I smiled and nodded back, but who knows because my soul had left my body.

Both my sister and I were near death and automatically headed back to our table before she remembered we still needed Ronen’s signature and we had to turn around and get in the line for him. When my sister handed him the poem he asked if it was Italian and she said no it was Spanish. He asked if he was supposed to sign anywhere specific and she said no anywhere was fine. She explained it was my favorite poem and how I thought it fit TK’s and Carlos’ relationship. So then he yelled for Rafa to translate it. (I may have jumped when he yelled and he apologized.) Rafa said he would tell him about it later. He signed it and then my sister explained the sticker thing and he signed the other paper. Finally, we went back to the table. Me still not having said a single word. My hands were shaking so bad it was ridiculous.

There was then a small break while they set up for pictures. And then some very tense moments were we were told it would be a group photo with our whole group and not individual pictures. But the miscommunication was resolved and everyone was happy.

Again, my sister and I were last in line for pictures. I was terrified I was going to have to do it alone because no one else got pictures with two people. But then the husbands that were sitting at the table with us went together. This is the one regret my sister has. She really wishes she had made me do the photo on my own. I will be forever grateful that she didn’t because I would have blacked out.

I am not a hugger. I barely hug my own family. I also have this fear that famous people aren’t able to consent to hugging and feel obligated to hug fans whether they want to or not, which makes me want to not hug even more. There was a moment where Rafa started for a hug, but with my death grip on my sister it would have been a group hug, so he stopped. He read my t-shirt and it seemed like he opened his mouth to ask a question, but then my sister was pushing her way in and getting us into position for the picture.

Ronen accidentally pulled my hair because I don’t think he realized how long it was and he was super quick to apologize. The photographer took about a million photos. Like I was beginning to wonder when it was going to end. But then it was over and they were super sweet and thanked us (which still blows my mind) and we headed back to our table.

And while on the way back my sister whispered in my ear, “when would be a good time to tell you my hand accidentally brushed Rafael’s butt? Just let me know when.” I died. I think I was more embarrassed than she was.

Next was lunch and the Q&A. Everyone’s been over the Q&A, so I’ll just put up the pictures I took during it (and one snapchat.)

Then it was time for the meet and greet. Two of the volunteers sitting at our table left before the Q&A and did not go to the meet and greet. We ended up being a group of I believe four. We were definitely the smallest, quietest, most anxious group. I felt a little bad because they kept trying to get us to ask questions and there were lots of long silences. But I thought they were so kind and gentle with all of us. There was an older woman in the group that asked a lot of questions, so at least it wasn’t completely silent. But they made me cringe, but both Ronen and Rafa were so kind and answered them.

She asked about bringing back the bartender and having him be a guest at the wedding to cause some drama between TK and Carlos. Ronen said he didn’t think there would be much drama as TK wasn’t interested in the bartender at all. And Rafa stated that TK and Carlos were it for each other there would never be anyone that came in between them.

She then said the he could be the bartender at the wedding and that could be funny. Ronen said it could potentially be funny.

She then asked if Lou would be at the wedding. Rafa looked very confused for a minute and Ronen asked if she meant the lizard. She said she did. And they both said Lou had been set free and Rafa said he was probably busy making his own family and wouldn’t have time for the wedding. Ronen made the comment that he didn’t see any pets in TK and Carlos’ future.

There was one other question asked by the guy that asked the question during the Q&A about how to handle being so anxious for the characters. And I really, really wish I could remember it because Rafa answered it and was really sweet. The guy was sitting right next to Rafa and they had their own little conversation. And I know he was just as nervous and anxious as I was because his voice and hands were shaking whenever he spoke. But I also felt so proud that he did speak and ask his questions because I couldn’t. I was absolutely paralyzed. And i knew how hard it must have been for him.

Anyway, then it was time for pictures. Ronen was very much in charge of the whole meet and greet thing. He explained how it worked when we all got in the room and then he took charge during pictures and told us what wall had been designated as the selfie wall. Then as he and Rafa were walking towards it he said “and we’ll start right here” and touched my shoulder. I definitely blacked out.

So my sister and I got up. She had my phone and was going to take the selfie herself, but Rafa told her to give the phone to Ronen because he’s a professional selfie taker and my sister made a joke about her long arms, but that she didn’t have much selfie experience. He took a few pictures and then we were done.

When it was finally time to leave we had parked on the convention center side of the hotel when we had first arrived and had to make our way back over there. My sister was trying to tell me I had done a really good job and I had made it through the whole day without a panic attack and I could breathe now. AND I TRUSTED HER AND THEN WE RAN INTO RONEN IN THE PARKING LOT!

I for sure thought he was going to think we were crazy stalkers. But again he was just super nice and thanked us for coming and then saw our California plates and asked if we were from here. My sister said that she lived in Lakewood (it’s about 45 mins from Burbank), but that I had flown in. He told us to have a good day and then we got in our cars. There was the awkward follow through the parking lot with me screaming in the car at my sister that he was going to think we were following him, but thankfully we turned different directions when leaving the parking lot.

I just want to end by saying that even though right now I’m beating myself up because I wasn’t able to say a single word and I barely made any eye contact, not once did they ever make me feel bad for it. They didn’t try to force anything or say anything rude. They were just so patient and kind. So even though I have convinced myself that they probably think I’m an idiot and the most awkward turtle to have ever turtled, they were very, very nice about it. And I’m so glad I stepped outside of my comfort zone and decided to buy tickets and go. Maybe next time, if they do this again, I won’t be so awkward.

#911 lonestar #ronen rubinstein #rafael silva #tk strand #carlos reyes #meet and greet #this is all still so surreal #sorry for the length #i tend to ramble #my heart is literally beating so hard just remembering everything #sorry i'm so cringe #picture heavy

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whump-in-the-closet · 11 months

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would you ever write a cheesy romance, be it within a whump story (such as a flashback or life before) or not?

hmm….i might imply it or maybe, possibly write it as a subplot within a whump story. Never by itself though i don’t think. My skills at writing ‘cheesy romance’ are subpar and i would cringe writing it and i think i would make everyone who read it also cringe

#thanks for the ask!#i have almost zero practice writing romance of any kind #i think it’s a side effect of being ace #no wish to get involved no wish to have anything to do with romance #but then again i have no wish to actually torture someone irl #so hey some romantic subplot might come up at some point #but most likely and in all honesty probably not #sorry if this is incomprehensible #i tend to ramble #troy talks

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and-you-will-like-it · 2 years

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I'm choosing my own topic, Robert and children. Would you do it, pretty please?

Hello, darling. Of course, I will.

This is an interesting one. There’s a scene in the first episode of series 5 when the family is in the library after tea waiting for Nanny to bring the children down, and Robert is about to leave. Cora asks him to stay and see them, to which Robert answers something to the effect of, “As soon as they can answer back.”

I have to tell you that that kind of destroyed my original headcanon a bit. Up until that point, I had pictured Robert as spending lots time in the nursery with the girls and being this insanely doting and adoring father. I know he loved his girls so much, but I think that — at least in the early days — he was much more reserved. I don’t think he kept them at arm’s length, necessarily, but I don’t think he was as openly affectionate as we see in later seasons. I think that developed over time. And, of course, he became a doting grandfather once he learned to loosen up a bit.

I think you could chalk it up to the way he himself was raised. We were given hints throughout the series that, while loving, his own parents were very much of the “an hour every day after tea” mindset.

#i hope this makes sense #I tend to ramble #cobert #headcanons #this is fun

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trhor · 1 year

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sorry gurl how on earth is you first post THAT good??? omg. just passing by to congratulate you, you have had me right at the beginning <3

Honestly, it feels like pure luck at times. I had ideas of how I wanted it to look and feel, but I was afraid it wouldn't turn out well. So I've been genuinely surprised by the response and kept thinking I might have peaked too soon. So sorry, to ramble but thank for for the congratulations it makes me feel very warm and fuzzy. And I hope that I can keep you engaged.

#sorry #i tend to ramble #but thank you for taking the time to leave a comment #houseoflennoxx #trhor asks

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giggly-squiggily · 2 years

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Hi! In your let’s go cloud watching page, it says you moved your fic ideas to a google doc. Is there a place where we can see them, or did you remove it from the public eye for yourself?

Heyo anon! So, ultimately I did remove them from the public eye for myself- having them on the cloud watching page was making me feel kinda guilty- like: I didn't want to get people's hopes up that I'd write them one day but then I never do. I hope that makes sense.

That said, I do plan on writing for at least some of them- this way just works best for me and actually doing that instead of saying I'm gonna write it and never following through. Also with a private doc I can comfortably expand on them for said fic! :3

Thanks for asking!

#squiggily speaks #ask #anon #cloud watching list #I tend to ramble #and I'm canonically terrible at explaining things #I hope this makes sense!#thank you for asking #it's a good question :)

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shadowbends · 2 years

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Did you enjoy s3? I'm only a couple of episodes in and I'm really not sure how I feel about it yet :/

No spoilers beneath the text aside from some vaguery, but throwing up a read more just in case:

Honestly, I'm still processing how I'm feeling. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't binged all of it at once—not because it isn't good, but because it's a very emotionally heavy season. There are a lot of scenes that are intentionally uncomfortable, sometimes even viscerally painful, and I think I'd have been able to both digest and consider the weight of them better if I had watched the season at a slower pace.

This being said, without going too deep into spoilers, I'd say the theme of this season is the ways families can disappoint one another. Season 1 had a bit of that, but it was introducing us to that dysfunction—this season took the gloves off and punched to hurt. If you preferred the lighter tone of Season 2, you're probably not going to enjoy this as much.

That being said, I do still think it's worthwhile. As painful as it was, the acting was incredible this season. Completely off the charts. And I think characters who've previously had spottier plotlines shone the most this time. What they did with Klaus entirely makes up for what an unsatisfying plotline the cult thing was in S2, and he really comes into his own here. This is also by far the best Viktor's ever been—he feels fully actualized as a character now, and finally comfortable in his own skin. It was wonderful to see!

And then—this might be a controversial take because the fandom's always hated him—but I loved what they did with Luther. His scenes had some of the most heart imo, and despite all the bad things that go down, seeing him grow as a person and find a speck of happiness was very endearing to me.

Aside from that... Well, like I said, I'm still processing everything. The only other thing I have to say is: I think they were very ambitious with the plotline this time. Furthermore, whether or not they bit off more than they can chew depends entirely on if they get a Season 4 or not. Season 3 is a very dark chapter, but it's not the end. If the series concludes here, I think it would be a crushing finish for these characters, but there's a chance for strong emotional payoffs if the series continues into another season to see them through.

#vague thoughts #tl;dr #sorry it's not a simple answer #I tend to ramble #but there shouldn't be any spoilers #umbrella academy #tua s3 #pi says things

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backlikeineverleft · 10 months

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a healing relationship ? wow, wonder what that’s like.

#must be niiiiiiiiice #i tend to ramble

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risestarkiss · 6 months

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On His Own Terms

Rise Ramblings #2

In my post, “This Whole Situation,” I discuss how Donnie doesn’t see himself or his mutation as something that needs to be hidden away. He wears clothes when he's out and about, and that’s about it. However, as turtlemen in the middle of NYC, sometimes they need to actually wear disguises. So, what does Donnie do in those cases?

Old ladies? Well, that’s a choice. And the way Leo phrased the question is interesting as well.

“Why do you always make us dress up as old ladies.”

This means that every time it’s up to Donnie to choose the disguise, it’s not up for discussion. They’re going to be old ladies. Period.

But the most interesting part of this scene is Donatello's answer to Leo's question.

You would think that blending in would be the main goal, but no. Donnie’s main goal with his chosen disguise is: comfort. He’s not willing to sacrifice his own comfort just to make other people comfortable with his presence.

He’ll wear a disguise if he must, but only on his own terms.

And I’m happy that he can set his boundary and stick to it.

Never change, Donnie, never change…

○○○○

…Does anyone else see Leo’s old lady drip?! Where did he get those pearls from? Forget the pearls, where did he get the pantyhose? Did he style his own wig? How long did it take for him to put on his makeup? What color eyeshadow is that? Look at those lashes! Look at those bazongas! He put so much work into his fit, no wonder he received a compliment.

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