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itsclydebitches · 2 years

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I was reading through the notes on the Theodore post (some of the responses are just down right mean to you and I'm sorry you have to deal with that) but it seems to me like an issue the rwby fandom has is dealing with structural critiques (like character introductions relative to story arcs) and respond with in-universe reasoning. These are two seperate frameworks that get confused too easily. Thing X didn't happen because it the story has rule Y, but why did the authors make rule Y?

Thanks, anon 💜

The sad thing is that these comments are downright tame compared to what some fans will put on your posts and in your inbox. In the past month I’ve seen two people express a desire to post their own critical takes about RWBY, but are wary to do so because they know it will draw far worse than this. I read through Number1yangster’s response and they rely entirely on insults there, not evidence to back up their reading of the story. The “argument” here is that I’m stupid and incapable of thinking or reading because that would “cut into the time [I] spend complaining.” Most people don’t want to put up with that kind of nonsense, not just because it’s obviously unpleasant to read, but because it circumvents the entire purpose of posting metas in the first place. Outside of just venting for that emotional release, fans share takes about a show in the hope of finding like-minded individuals and engaging with different perspectives. As RWDE posters constantly emphasize, we are looking for evidence to support more positive readings of the show because we want the show to be good. If you can point us towards moments where the show establishes other dust companies so we don’t have to assume that Team RWBYJNOR decimated the dust trade by destroying the SDC (another debate recently), or if you can point us towards moments where Theodore was established as a trusted ally so that we don’t have to assume that Ruby foolishly put all of Remnant in the hands of a potentially dangerous stranger… then please do! I often forget things, misunderstand things, or am simply persuaded by another reading, but that’s contingent upon others being able to point out my mistake, or persuade me towards their interpretation. But fans like Canonseeker and Number1yangster aren’t interested in having a conversation. It was never about discussing RWBY, or being able to back up their stance because they can’t back up their stance. Not without ignoring basic counters or relying primarily on their own headcanons. That’s why whenever someone says, “Please show me where this happened in the story” or point out, “You’ve entirely ignored the evidence I laid out. Why won’t you acknowledge this?” they turn straight to insults instead. They’ve got nothing else and that sucks for the fans who wanted an engaging discussion or, baring that, just want their posts left alone if others aren’t willing to approach them respectfully.

Anyway, you’ve hit the nail on the head there, anon. If I could get the entire RWBY fandom to understand anything—really understand it—it’s that this is a fictional world where the writers have complete control over everything that happens in it. There is not a single thing in RWBY that acts as a true barrier to the writers, especially as a webseries unencumbered by the restrictions of a network and as a show already notorious for playing fast and loose with its rules. Any problem with the story is something that come about because of a choice the writers made and the underlying criticism of all this is, “Why did you choose that?” I’ve used this example before because it’s a fairly common occurrence that spans multiple fandoms, but has been re-popularized lately by BNHA. Basically, the problem with giving women superheroes scantily clad outfits that obviously serve to sexualize them. The RWBY fandom are akin those that go, “Momo has to be scantily clad because she creates objects out of her bare skin and Toru has to be naked because clothes ruin her being invisible, duh. Clearly you’re too stupid to pay attention to what the show tells you,” entirely missing that the criticism is asking why the author designed things that way in the first place. It’s a sci-fi story with fantasy elements. There was nothing stopping Horikoshi from just introducing futuristic outfits that allow the high school girls to pull objects through the material, or make the outfit invisible to match the person. Or giving them superpowers with different rules to begin with! Why can’t Momo bring out any object just through the palms of her hands? Why can’t Toru make the things she wears invisible too? Writers are the gods of their story and their choices tell us a lot about what they want to prioritize.

RWBY chose not to introduce Theodore despite the ability to do so only being limited by their own imagination. Qrow could have been exchanging letters with him since the Fall. A shady side character could have showed up at the bar, delivering a verbal message from the head of Vacuo’s inner circle before sneaking off again. We could have gotten flashbacks to him during the pre-Beacon days. Ironwood could have invented a short-term communication device that’s good for one message, resulting in a quick but crucial check-in. Ozpin could have had a conversation with the group where he shares insight into his friend and everyone debates if, after Lionheart, they can still trust him. Anything could have happened! But so many fans are inclined to go, “But that couldn’t have happened because RWBY doesn’t do flashbacks like that, and Ironwood never invented that kind of device, and everyone was mad at Ozpin back then, and—” ignoring that, obviously, other aspects of the show would have to change to accommodate this. It's the exact reason why Number1yangster dismissed by idea to just make Theodore a part of the original meeting, claiming that this couldn't have happened because headmasters rarely attend... even though Ironwood is right there. If he can be an exception, why not Theodore too? Or why not make it so that the headmasters do unusually attend, but Lionheart couldn't make it this time for whatever reason (potentially setting up his future reveal as a betrayer)? Things can and should change to accommodate the additions that are going to improve the story as a whole.

That’s how writing works and many other times RT has demonstrated that they understand that. In Volume 4 how do we learn about Jaune getting new armor? We’re dropped into a fight where he’s struggling because he doesn’t have his sword, the group goes to a blacksmith that’s been created solely to provide Jaune with this update, there’s a scene wherein he dons the outfit, and there’s a conversation where we establish that this was made from Pyrrha’s armor, highlighting the character and thematic importance of this. If Jaune had just shown up in Volume 4 with a new look and critics wondered where in the world he got all that, there’s no explanation for this, it just randomly appeared… others would have started insisting that it just wasn’t possible to show that evolution on screen, there wasn't time, Jaune was too busy doing his job as a huntsmen to show you how he got his armor... even though the canon demonstrates that of course writing a journey that answered the audience's basic questions was always possible. Many fans approach RWBY like a historical event, something that happened the way it happened and only a delusional idiot would think they can change the facts of these real people going about their real lives, rather than approaching it like the malleable, fictional work it is, where if something doesn’t make sense, it’s because the writers failed to make choices that would lead to a cohesive story.

Case in point: my Jaune example doesn’t account for the fact that the show never explains how he got the armor in the first place. Pyrrha was killed up on the tower while Jaune was blasting off in the weapon locker. There’s no indication that someone like Qrow picked those pieces up, there’s no explanation why Jaune would get it over Pyrrha’s family, and none of this even takes into account that everything but Pyrrha’s headpiece disintegrated after Cinder's attack. Even when RWBY is working to set things up and follow through on the questions the audience might have, it’s an attempt still riddled with holes.

At this point in the series, eight years in, we have a wealth of examples where RWBY fails to meet basic writing expectations and the commentaries are riddled with admissions that they forgot this, should have done that, admit that this was confusing, that they couldn’t stick to their own rules here, etc. We have both textual and Word of God evidence that these writers frequently fail to craft a story where the audience can follow along without buying bonus content of dubious canonical status, spending time in fandom communities going, "Wait, can someone explain this to me?" or just throwing up their hands because no one has an explanation for this, good luck thinking up one yourself. It really shouldn’t be a hot take anymore to say that RWBY is often missing crucial pieces like “Did not establish Theodore as a character,” yet many fans remain too enamored with the version of RWBY they've headcanoned to just admit that yeah, the writers made a mistake. Again.

Other than emphasizing that RWBY is a fictional construct that the writers have complete control over, the second thing I'd want the fandom to learn is that acknowledging a story's flaws doesn't bar you from loving it. A lot of fans act like if they ever gave any ground to criticism and admitted that RWBY is less than perfect, they'd lose their Allowed To Enjoy RWBY card. It's like they're convinced that this thing they enjoy comes with the requirement of never ever saying anything bad about it... and to some extent, they're right. Because the fandom has rejected criticism to such an extreme that you're immediately ostracized from major portions of the community simply for voicing any criticism, no matter how mild. What was the recent Reddit drama if not evidence that, if given the chance, many fans will permanently cut anyone critical from the community? Fans know that if they were to ever commit the great sin of going, "Hey, that RWDE blog has a point" many others would turn on them and the part of their RWBY enjoyment stemming from community interaction would be irrevocably changed. Some fans just need to learn that you can love something while admitting to its flaws; others I think would be happy to do that if the rest of the fandom hadn't made it clear that this approach comes with social consequences. A part of me really gets why many fans double down on praising RWBY and rejecting discussion out of hand. It's a way of distancing themselves: a witty jab with eye-roll emoji proves to everyone reading that you're not anything like the "hatedom," but a legitimate discussion shows that maybe, just maybe, you're giving those opinions a fair shake... and we can't have that, can we? That means you're a hater. That means you're probably out on twitter harassing RT. That means you're someone the rest of the fandom needs to reject because having you around would just ruin all the "real" fans' fun. So you head on over to the RWDE corners of the Internet and yay, people are happy to discuss RWBY with you again, but entering those groups has now "proven" that you were never a true fan to begin with. It's a lose-lose situation unless you agree to never entertain criticism in the first place. And if you know that agreeing with a take might lose you your circle of online friends, lose an audience you've worked hard to develop, and result in a whole slew of hate in your inbox... yeah, safer and more enjoyable to just agree with the crowed and reiterate that RWBY is flawless. Better that than deal with the alternative.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 4 years

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I'm very curious to hear your take on Zuko as a disabled character? All of your analyses of disability in fiction have been very interesting to read so far, thank you for sharing your thoughts/expertise.

Thank you! Follow-on from this post about Toph.

What I mean by saying Zuko is a disabled character: the social model of disability basically states that disability is any bodily difference that gets problematized and/or treated as abnormal by society. This definition includes facial differences, AKA any scarring, skin marking, and so on that leads to staring by nondisabled society or other forms of stigma based on the person’s appearance. Part of the reason for this inclusion is about complicating the disabled-nondisabled dichotomy; facial difference and facial scarring are identities within that framework. Part of the reason comes from the U.S.’s history of Ugly Laws, which literally made it illegal for people with facial differences to appear in public in some cities as late as 1974. Part of it is the huge overlap between ableism (giving more privileges to the nondisabled) and lookism (giving more privileges to the normatively beautiful).

Avatar: The Last Airbender has some high-quality anti-ableism in showing Zuko’s story, including how other characters respond to Zuko and how Zuko’s appearance informs but does not define his characterization.

One of the ways this comes out is by turning nondisabled characters’ gaze back on them:

In “The Serpent’s Pass,” Jet says to Zuko “You know, as soon as I saw your scar, I knew exactly who you were…” and then goes on to describe his almost hilariously wrong conclusion that Zuko’s a Freedom Fighter waiting to happen because Zuko’s village was presumably also destroyed by the Fire Nation. We get to see Zuko’s moment of terror that he actually has been recognized turn into incredulity as he then gets invited to join a guerrilla force opposing everything he (currently) stands for. Jet looks stupid for jumping to conclusions based on appearances.

In both “Zuko Alone” and “The Cave of Two Lovers,” that same jumping-to-conclusions works in Zuko’s favor, because both Song’s mother and Li’s parents assume that anyone with a burn scar must be a veteran of the fight against the Fire Nation. Again, the emphasis is on the fact that the people judging Zuko based on his appearance are wrong.

In “The Chase,” Azula becomes the only person we ever see mock Zuko for his appearance, when she covers her own left eye to draw out the “family resemblance” for Aang. The moment gets a horrified reaction out of Aang — Zuko’s his enemy, but Aang also realizes that this is a nasty thing to do — and helps to establish Azula as not just a villain, but a sadistic one.

In “The Beach,” Zuko blows up at Ty Lee for commenting that stress can cause breakouts. His response is unnecessarily mean-spirited, but it also draws attention to the relative level of privilege (the biggest skin problem she has to worry about is acne) that informed her careless comment.

In “Crossroads of Destiny,” Zuko assumes that, when Katara calls him “the face of the enemy,” it’s a way of calling him frightening to look at — and it’s Katara who looks like a jerk for implying it, even accidentally.

The other big way that this comes out is clapping back at the implied treatment of disability as demanding explanation, or the “But why are you like this?” form of ableism:

The show makes it clear that Zuko does not owe anyone — not Song, not Li, not Jet, not his crew, not his friends — an explanation for why he looks the way he does. None of the Gaang ever ask Zuko what happened, and the few characters who do (Li, Song, Lieutenant Jee) don’t end up looking good when they do so.

“The Cave of Two Lovers” clearly underlines the show’s theme of “my body, my business” in the scene where Song tries to touch Zuko’s face. The tone (including literal musical tones) signals that Song is being inappropriate and invasive. It’s understandable that she wants to make a connection, but it’s also emphatically not okay to touch body parts of strangers one has not received permission to touch.

To be clear, taking people’s ostrich-horses is also not okay, Zuko, but Baby’s First Grand Theft Auto helps drive home just how thoroughly Song has let her curiosity and rudeness sour a budding connection. It also shows that, while she’s right that she and Zuko have some things in common, she has privileges he lacks because she doesn’t have to disclose her scars if she doesn’t feel like it. Plus, that moment contrasts to Katara and Mai both touching Zuko’s cheek — Katara just after they’ve shared a moment of vulnerability, Mai just before they start smooching — because they’re both doing so in a way that’s respectful to Zuko himself.

When he wakes up from a dream of turning into Aang, the first thing Zuko does is touch his left eye to make sure he’s still himself. It’s part of his identity, and the only time we see adolescent Zuko without it (earlier in the dream sequence) it’s a way of showing that Zuko isn’t truly himself.

Zuko grapples with the fact that he’s always going to bear evidence of having survived abuse, and a big part of his character journey is concluding that he’s free to make whatever meaning he chooses of that scar, regardless of what Ozai might’ve intended.

There are other elements of Zuko’s story the Avatar writers do well. He bears a superficial resemblance to the thousands of villains (especially in SF) who become villainous because they incur facial scarring, but of course his story is infinitely more humanized and nuanced than “skin bleached in a vat of acid, might as well go rob banks now.” His appearance incurs very different reactions depending on his current wealth and political power, emphasizing the intersections of disability and imperialism. He discusses the possibility of a cure with Katara, but also goes on to live a long and fulfilling life without one.

Maybe there’s no clearer evidence that Zuko counts as disabled in the sense of “society treats your body as a problem that needs to be solved” than the way that adaptations of AtLA treat the scar. They tend to minimize, hide, or otherwise avoid it.

[Image description: Sepia-toned image of the Gaang from a Legend of Korra promotional that appeared on the Nickelodeon website. Zuko has his head turned and his hair swept forward in such a way that none of the left side of his face is visible.]

[Image description: Screenshot of Zuko from the 2010 adaptation The Last Airbender. Dev Patel has a very subtle amount of makeup meant to convey minimal scarring around his left eye.]

Like I said: facial difference counts as a disability because society treats it like one. In the social model, that’s what counts rather than, for instance, how much peripheral vision Zuko does or doesn’t have.

I’m not linking to any of many works of fan art that depict Zuko tilted to the right, occasionally even when other characters are presented facing directly ahead. Nor am I going to link to any of the equally-plentiful works of fan fiction that keep most other elements of canon the same but specify that Zuko’s face is unscarred. (A similar number, it’s worth noting, also make Toph sighted.) This isn’t a callout. It’s an explanation of how Avatar does an effective job of showing how Zuko’s facial difference informs his identity without making that difference the sum total of his identity.

#avatar #atla #avatar the last airbender #nothing to do with animorphs #long post #disability representation #ableism #facial difference #social model of disability #prince zuko #zuzu #his firelordiness #zuko meta #atla meta #anonymous #asks

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communistkenobi-archive · 4 years

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Outside of general fandom theories that try to interpret coherence into the difference between “attachment” and “loving, stable relationships between people”, what is actually the difference in practice as shown in the text of SW, specifically The Mandalorian?

Filoni, darling of George Lucas and Star Wars in general, wrote Chapter 13 of The Mandalorian; his writing is supposed to carry a great deal of authority on the canon of the universe and is generally understood as someone who “gets” what Star Wars is. This isn’t just a random Legends book or comic, either; he’s writing material for a massively popular TV show, so what goes on in this show has a large impact on the overal canon of SW. Which means I’m going to take what happens in The Mandalorian as highly authoritative on whatever topic it’s discussing.

In Chapter 13, Ahsoka refuses to train the baby on the grounds that he is too attached to Din. She later implies that the baby is choosing to stay with Din, so she doesn’t want to separate them, but her initial statement is very clear; the baby is too attached and is vulnerable to his fears and anger because of it. Everything we have seen about Din and the baby’s relationship so far has been overwhelmingly positive - prior to this, we’ve never been given the sense that the baby is somehow unhealthily attached to Din, in large part because he is a literal baby. I know it’s established that he can communicate with people and understands speech, and is generally more advanced than human infants, but the audience, as well as basically every character in the show, responds to him as a baby and understands his behaviours and actions as that of an infant, or at the very most, an extremely small child (ie, someone whose behaviour is pre-moral - you cannot pass moral judgement on the actions of the baby because it is accepted that he doesn’t have any moral framework of his own to understand the difference between right and wrong). Even when he chokes out Cara in Chapter 7, he’s not acting immorally because he doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions. So unless actual babies can become Sith, we aren’t taking this as a commentary on him being “tempted” by the Dark Side because of his attachment to Din.

How I’ve always understood attachment is twofold:

the material argument is that attachment is a commitment to another party that is strong enough to conflict with your duties as a Jedi, who operate under the mission of the Jedi Order.

the metaphysical argument is that strong attachment leaves you vulnerable to the Dark Side of the Force and can tempt you towards becoming Sith. In this case, “attachment” is defined as a relationship that you fear to lose, and the Dark Side is seen as a solution to mitigating the risk of that loss. It taps into the “negative” emotions associated with a strong bond between people.

The material argument doesn’t apply in this circumstance because A) the Jedi Order is gone, and B) Ahsoka isn’t a Jedi herself. The metaphysical argument holds more water, but again, it’s weird that this judgement is being passed on a baby. Aren’t all babies “attached” to their parents? How does this differ from the Jedi asking for Force-sensitive children from their families when the Order was still around? Is it theoretically possible for the baby to love Din a different way that doesn’t count as attachment, or does his previous trauma preclude him from ever being trained as a Jedi?

Ahsoka’s own trauma is a potential explanation to this (ie that she is gun-shy about training ANY Force-sensitive because of what happened to Anakin), so she isn’t necessarily supposed to be taken as an objective authority on the matter. But like, I am genuinely struggling to understand how Din and the baby’s relationship is a serious liability IF you also want to argue that the Jedi are allowed to love (which I more or less agree with), they just can’t form attachments. Like what is more honest, pure, and uncomplicated than the love a literal baby has for its parent, regardless of the trauma they’ve suffered in the past? How do you separate that love from the concept of “attachment”, something that is frowned upon and seen as a barrier to being a Jedi/practicing Jedihood?

#sw.txt #mando.txt #jedi order discourse #sw meta #mando meta

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panharmonium · 3 years

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@dreamersscape please forgive me for tagging you in a post to respond to your comments; tumblr’s reply feature is hard to have an extended/coherent conversation on, and I’m so excited to talk to a kindred Naruto spirit that I knew I was gonna write too much for it all to fit in that space XD

re: hinata - Oh my gosh, YES, my sister and I were so frustrated by how they just completely never addressed that moment again. I wasn't surprised, because it's been clear from the beginning that this show doesn't really care much about women, so the female characters' storylines getting dropped or never explored in the first place is pretty much what I've always expected, but it's still infuriating.

Honestly, the only good thing about this show's general disinterest in women is that it means that I don't place any blame on in-story Naruto for never addressing what Hinata did for him, because I know the fact that we don't see him dealing with her confession isn't actually intended to communicate anything about his reaction/non-reaction/level of investment; it's literally just a function of the fact that the writer doesn't care about her story. It's the same way I feel about how we see so much less one-on-one time between Kakashi and Sakura - her lack of screentime with him isn't something about which a person can credibly argue "Oh, this means Kakashi doesn't care about her enough and he's a bad teacher etc etc," because the imbalance isn’t a deliberate writing decision we're supposed to analyze for characterization. It's a reflection of the fact that the entire show is super sexist. XD

re: danzo: It’s one thing to have your villain believe himself to the hero of his own story, and like, another to have Danzo basically tout having darkness in your heart being a great thing and encouraging it’s presence/cultivating it - lmao YES! And honestly, this is why I actually find Danzo LESS infuriating than the Third Hokage. Like, Danzo is Super Evil and every time he exploits another child I want to watch him die all over again, but at least he like....owns his horribleness? Whereas Hiruzen is the biggest hypocrite on the planet - when I rewatched the Shonen Jump stuff a while back (my sister and I took a little break prior to Season 11 and rewatched some old stuff), I couldn't stand listening to Hiruzen go on and on about how the entire Leaf Village is his family and it's his role to protect all of them etc etc, because like - he literally covered up the genocide of Sasuke's entire family and let the perpetrator remain in power (and that was before I even knew about all these other crimes he allowed to go unpunished!!!) Danzo may be the Worst, but at least he's not pretending to be anything other than what he is. Hiruzen is still acting like he's everybody's sweet old grandpa, and that makes me even more angry than Danzo's straight-up horribleness. (And I do agree with you, they definitely lean harder into the "Lord Third is amazing" stuff pre-Shippuden, I just still feel confused about what the show is ultimately trying to say about him because we haven't gotten an explicit enough condemnation of his choices yet, and I feel like it's way overdue XD )

re: minato - Hard agree that Minato is an enigma. I don't feel like I fully understand him either - and not in a bad way, just in the sense that he's hard to read. The toughest thing for me to parse was always how distant he seemed with his students, which was surprising to me at first, because he'd been built up as sort of this "ideal shinobi" figure for such a long time, but to me, an ideal shinobi teacher looks more like...well, Kakashi, to be honest. And it took a while for me to reconcile with the fact that Minato and Kakashi really do just relate to their students very differently. I think Minato has always been a soldier, and I think he sees children as soldiers, too - not in an evil way at all, just in the sense that this is how the shinobi world works, and how it has always worked. It's not a "wrong" way to perceive shinobi kids, in the context of the story's universe. And so when things happen to those kids, he absolutely cares, but it's also sort of just a grim fact of life for him. It's like when Kushina tells him she doesn't want to make Naruto a jinchuriki, and she asks 'why do we have to do that to him, why does he have to suffer that way for the sake of the balance of power between nations,' and Minato's response is “Because our family is Shinobi.” That was a really telling moment for me in terms of how he sees the world. It's not something I'm interested in condemning him for, like you said; I don't think the story is ever asking us to do that, it’s just a philosophy that's very different from how Kakashi sees things and what he thinks children's experiences should be like.

I guess what I ultimately think (from the material we’ve seen so far, at least) is that Minato seems to perceive the loss of his students as something that Kakashi is struggling with, not something he himself is agonizing over. It’s a very sad thing that happened, of course, but it’s just part of the way their world works/a function of the times they live in. It's not something Minato is tormenting himself about. Whereas I think that if Kakashi ever lost a kid, it would have killed him. And I don't think this fact is in any way supposed to paint Minato as a bad person. He's not! All it means is that there is a generational difference between the world Kakashi and Co. are trying to create and the world Minato always knew, and people like Minato are doing the best they can with the framework they have.

I do like the guy a lot - and I wonder what he might have been like if he had lived to see a permanent peace established.

re: little Yamato - oh boy, those episodes nearly ended me. I am already very, very, VERY weak for Kakashi and Yamato’s friendship, and seeing Kakashi rescue Yamato from that horrible place (literally and metaphorically) was too much for me to handle. Kakashi’s silhouette replacing Danzo in Yamato’s memories of being rescued from Orochimaru’s lab - that slew me. And the way Danzo tells Yamato “you have no past, no future, no name” juxtaposed with Kakashi introducing Yamato as Tenzo because he remembers from three years ago how Yamato once rebelled at being called Kinoe and yelled “MY NAME IS TENZO” - Kakashi just using that chosen name without hesitation, without question, without needing to be told...it all ties back into the recent thematic throughline the show is working with about Identity - the importance of the Tailed Beasts having names, Kabuto’s desperate and misguided search for “who and what he is,” Itachi reclaiming his true self by undoing the reanimation justu and declaring “I am Itachi Uchiha of the Leaf Village,” Obito claiming that his real name doesn’t matter anymore, that he’s Nobody...it’s fantastic how they’re pulling all this together.

re: Kakashi and little Naruto - oh man, the feelings. I agree with you that Kakashi was in no place to be dealing with this, but certainly under different circumstances I think he would have loved to be a part of baby Naruto’s life. I actually think the reasoning behind “let’s put Kakashi in a situation where he’s in close contact with someone bringing new life into the world” is sound - I think that would be a really good thing for him! Just not in the sense of “you’re Kushina’s personal bodyguard, so if anything happens to her and the baby you can blame yourself for it.” XD Like...Minato could have invited Kakashi in for dinner sometimes, instead of having him constantly stand guard under their window??? If it had been more “we care about you and we want you to be a part of our family”....ugh, that would have been amazing. Kakashi is already SO good with Naruto (who is NOT by any means an easy kid to manage) - he just has such good instincts about how to talk to that kid and teach him in ways that work WITH Naruto’s particular brand of high motivation/low frustration tolerance, ping-pong emotional extremes, explosive energy levels, zero impulse control, and an inability to process more than one thing at a time. Handling Naruto effectively would be a challenging project for any teacher, never mind taking care of Naruto and two other kids, but Kakashi is a natural at it. It would have been awesome to see what Kakashi was like with Naruto when they were even younger...though the Feels might knocked me out.

[also, you mentioned Naruto and Obito - I cannot even tell you the Extremest Agonies I was in when the big reveal happened and I had to hear Naruto blankly go “who is he” - utterly clueless, without the faintest idea that he’s looking at the person who shaped his entire moral philosophy. The amount of things that these kids don’t know...that fact that Naruto has been quoting this very person all his life and making all his major life decisions based on the lesson Kakashi relayed to them on Day One - Obito’s words - oh boy oh boy I was not capable of handling that even the littlest bit.]

#*high fives your brain right back*#feel free to gush about this show anytime - i am right there with ya! :D #replies #naruto #pan watches naruto

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sincerelyella · 3 years

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RAMifications Chapter 6 - Breathe

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella)

Song Inspiration: Breathe by Faith Hill

Characters belong to Pixelberry; MC Ella Brooks belongs to me.

A/N: The entire idea for this series came from @burnsoslow and her unBEARable series featuring her OTP Drake and Alyssa. This is Ella’s backstory and how she met the love of her life King Liam of Cordonia and became his Queen.

Kind of a filler chapter, I guess it was necessary though..?

Catch up here

Warnings: None really

Words: 1943

“What in the hell is going on?” Standing at the door was King Constantine, his guard Bastien, and Queen Regina, who just gave Liam a sympathetic smile.

“F-father,” Liam was taken aback at his father’s harsh tone, even more so at the fact that all of them were standing there at his front door. Constantine pushed his way inside his son’s quarters, his feet stomping on the hardwood floors. Regina quietly followed behind him and patted Liam on the shoulder.

“Why did no one tell me that House Beaumont’s young lady has backed out?” The King’s voice boomed and could be heard throughout every room.

Liam looked at his father’s guard Bastien and gave him a look. Bastien gave him a tight smile, bowed his head and closed the door while staying outside.

Liam cleared his throat and turned. “Father, House Beaumont has a lady they will be sponsoring.”

Constantine turned to face his son. “Oh? And why weren’t we informed of this change, Liam?” The King gave him a pointed look. “I know the social season isn’t something you were … agreeable to. But this is tradition,” his face softened looking at his son. “Liam, you need a queen to rule alongside you.”

Bertrand appeared next to Constantine and spoke before Liam could respond. “Your Majesties,” he bowed. “So sorry to blindside you with this situation. House Beaumont does have a young lady we are sponsoring. She is here if you would like to meet her.”

“Yes, we would both like that, Duke Ramsford. Please lead the way,” Regina spoke up for the first time since walking into the room.

Liam, Regina and Constantine followed Bertrand into the living area where Ella and Maxwell were waiting.

“Lady Ella,” Bertrand widened his eyes while he faced her, gave Ella a stern look and mouthed ‘curtsy’ before speaking again. “This is His Majesty King Constantine, and Her Majesty Queen Regina of Cordonia,” Bertrand turned to the King and Queen. “Your Majesties, this is Lady Ella of House Beaumont.”

“Your Majesties,” Ella curtsied as low as she could.

Regina stepped forward and wrapped a warm hand around Ella’s. “It’s so nice to meet you, my dear,” she said softly.

“You as well, ma’am.”

“Lady Ella,” Constantine took in the woman in front of him, then softly smiled at her. “It’s a pleasure meeting you. You’re American?”

Ella nodded. “Yes sir, I’m from California.”

“Ahh California,” the King looks up wistfully. “Liam’s late mother and I went there for a business event at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. It was a conference that supported world trade and investment,” he looks back towards Ella and his face takes on a more serious expression. “What are your thoughts on world trade, Lady Ella?”

He’s testing me. She looked at the King, held his gaze and swallowed the lump in her throat. “World trade is definitely vital for economic growth, sir. With the size and shape of the economy changing considerably in recent years, established patterns of trading have had to change along with it,” she paused briefly to take in the King’s expression, which was pure astonishment. Ella took a deep breath in and continued. “The challenge is to essentially make sure that the regulatory framework keeps up with modern times.”

Regina smiled wide at Ella and winked. Constantine, Liam, Bertrand and Maxwell’s eyes were all wide, mouths open in shock. “Ah … well said, Lady Ella,” the King finally responded.

The queen, still smiling, spoke up. “Lady Ella, what did you do in California before coming here?”

“I was going to school at UCLA, ma’am, for my bachelor’s degree in nursing. My ... parents wanted me to major in something other than history and political science.”

Regina’s eyebrows went up. “They didn’t like that you majored in those subjects?”

“They wanted me to pursue a degree much like my grandmother, mother, and aunt who are all nurses.”

“So,” Constantine’s voice carried through the room. “You’re here for the study abroad program then?”

Ella made eye contact with Liam and he gave her a small nod. “I initially came to Cordonia for a study abroad program, yes sir, and interned in the children’s hospital for six weeks,” she smiled at the memory of her taking care of those little patients. “It was a rewarding experience. I fell in love with your country and made arrangements to study at Cordonia University.”

Regina looked pleased by Ella’s answer, Constantine had a blank look on his face. “That sounds amazing, I’m so glad you love Cordonia,” she looked up at her husband. “Isn’t that right, dear?” She elbowed Constantine in the side.

He flinched, then looked around and met all gazes in the room before speaking. “Yes … yes quite right. Very glad.” He gave Ella a small smile and cleared his throat. “The Queen and I have a meeting to attend, everyone,” the King turned to Liam and clapped him on the shoulder. “Son, we’ll see you in Applewood.”

Liam nodded. “Yes, I’ll see you then.”

Constantine turned back to Ella. “Lady Ella, again, it was a pleasure to meet you. We shall see you in Applewood as well.”

“Yes sir, I’ll see you there.” Regina nodded to everyone and murmured her goodbyes. The King and Queen walked towards the door and let themselves out of the apartment. As soon as they left all eyes turned to Ella in a silent question.

“Why are you guys looking at me like that?” Ella chuckled, knowing exactly why they were staring.

“You know about trade and investment? And you’re studying to be a nurse? Isn’t that, like, almost being a doctor?” Maxwell babbled. “Then how come you were delivering flowers? And wh-”

“No, we’re not even close to being doctors, Max,” Ella interrupted as she giggled.

“You’re so smart,” he stared down at her, marveled at his new best friend.

Ella hated having to try and sell herself to people she didn’t know. Guess I’ll be doing that regularly now. “Why is everyone so surprised anyway? I took a few classes on international trade and economic diplomacy back home and that’s how my political science degree happened.”

“You’re full of surprises, Lady Ella,” Liam smiled, stepped towards her and leaned down to place a quick kiss on her lips. “My Father and Regina were impressed with you.”

Before she could respond, Bertrand cleared his throat. “Yes Lady Ella, that was an … appropriate answer. Perhaps there’s hope for you yet. Maxwell and I will escort you to your room.” He looks at Liam and bowed. “Your Highness, we will see you in a couple of days.”

Liam nodded with a small smile. “Yes, thank you,” he looks down at Ella, then turns to the two men. “Can you please give us a moment alone?”

Maxwell and Bertrand nod and let themselves out of the quarters.

Liam wrapped his large hands around Ella’s waist and pulled her up to meet his lips. She felt his smile get bigger as the kiss lingered. His arms wrapped around her and she sighed happily, melting into his embrace; not even noticing that her feet were high off the floor. They finally parted and grinned at each other.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since you walked through the door,” he murmured. His words gave her goosebumps all over her body. “You’re really doing this,” he whispered, almost in awe, as he ran a finger along her cheek. Liam said it somewhat out loud, more so to himself than to Ella. He was still on cloud nine, he couldn’t believe she would willingly would join in the middle of the social season just to be with him. Not for a crown, not for power, not for wealth … but for him.

“Yes, I am.” She bit her lip and gazed up at him. “You’re … still wanting this?”

God yes! ”I still want this, Ella,” He leaned down to kiss her, urgently now, not like the soft, lingering kiss he gave her earlier. He pulled away, set her back on her feet and rested his forehead on hers. “You have no idea how much I want this,” he whispered.

She grinned wide. “Then I guess I’ll see you at Applewood then, Your Highness.”

“Who knows … maybe you’ll see me sooner than that,” he winked and reluctantly loosened his arms around her, his hands lingering on her waist. “You should go, Bertrand gets impatient.”

Ella nods, quickly places her hand on his cheek and walks out of the apartment.

Bertrand made eye contact with Ella as she slipped out the door and he began to walk. Maxwell dragged Ella’s suitcases behind him and flashed her a cheesy smile. She followed both of them with wide eyes as they walked through yet another hallway in the palace. The trio arrived at a door and Bertrand turned the knob and pushed it open.

“Alright, let’s go over some things, Lady Ella,” he turned to look at her while she flopped onto the bed with Maxwell. “We leave for Applewood Manor in a matter of days. You will be watched by not only the King and Queen but also by the other suitors and the press. I have arranged for you to do an interview with them before we leave. That way, they can get to know you and be able to tell the people your story.”

“When is the interview?”

“Tomorrow afternoon!” Maxwell bounced on the bed next to her. “I’m going to help you find something to wear. We need to make sure that the press and the people know who Lady Ella is,” he grinned wide at her when he took in her stunned face. “It’ll be fine! We got you!”

Bertrand frowned. “Yes, well … that remains to be seen. We need you to show the press that you’re competent in matters of the court; especially with trade deals and tariffs the King and Prince Liam will be negotiating with other countries.” He eyed her carefully. “Especially if you are to be queen someday, you will need to know these things.”

Ella blew out a breath. “I understand.”

“We will let you get some sleep then, Lady Ella. Be up bright and early tomorrow and we’ll go over things for the interview. Have a good evening.” Bertrand gave her a curt nod and turned to walk out of the room.

“Goodnight, Ella!! I’ll see you in the morning!” Maxwell gave her a quick hug.

“Goodnight, Max!”

The men left and closed the door behind them. Ella looked around the room, took in every detail. From the plush bedspread with gold embroidery, to the enormous bed frame, the impossibly high ceiling with the diamond encrusted chandelier in the middle of it. This is a little much. Will I ever get used to all of it?

Ella never thought in a million years she would be sitting in a palace, falling for a prince. A literal Prince Charming. Thinking about Liam got her feeling giddy, like a kid in a candy shop. She never, ever felt that way with Ethan. Not even a little bit. That has to mean something.

A knock on her door had her swiftly turning head away from her phone and towards the sound. She walked over and opened it quickly with a smile on her face, thinking it was Maxwell or Liam. The smile faded when she saw who was on the other side.

“Your Majesty?”

King Constantine looked down at her, lips tucked between his teeth. “Lady Ella. Might I have a word?”

#RAMifications #Liam x MC #Liam x Ella #trr fanfic #trr fandom #trr #trr choices #choices trr #choices the royal romance #choices liam x mc #choices trr au #choices liam #pixelberry #play choices #the royal romance #the royal romance fandom #the royal romance fanfic #the royal romance au

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imagine-that-one-thing · 3 years

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Styles. || 15

Authors Note: Hey everyone!! I know it has been a while since I have updated, but I wanted to pop in and say hi, I am back. I intend to do my best to start writing again and to start where I left off at. I have missed Elise and Harry’s story so much, but I needed the break. With that being said, I am back and doing my best to get back to writing their story. Bare with me as it has always been hard for me to end stories, hence why this one is still kicking. I have a strong connection with the story and I just want to keep writing, so here I am. I hope you all love their story as much as I do. Anyway, I hope you are all well and continue to read my work. xx

For previous chapters, click HERE.

First. Book : Styles and Co

Second Book : Styles’ Towers.

Third Book : The Rise Of Glory.

Styles & Co. || Extras.

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Wouldn’t It Be nice.

My apartment is quiet as I type away at my laptop, attempting to stay focused on my essay with a pounding headache. I have hardly slept the last few nights, and I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Balancing school and work have proven to be extremely troublesome, but I do not regret my decision one bit to take up Jamie’s proposal. I am incredibly appreciative of the opportunity, even if I manage to get an hour or so of sleep a night.

I landed Jamie the clients and completed the meetings as requested, and successfully redesigned one of the portfolios— it has all been worth it. It will one day pay off to only sleep a few hours.

I massage my temples before the sound of my apartment door opening takes my attention. I turn around immediately, almost plummeting to my feet before nonchalantly recognising it’s Elise and not my worst nightmare. Ever since my father appeared at my apartment that one night, I have been on edge, not to mention I also don’t want Logan coming to my apartment. “Hey,” I half-smile towards her as she closes the door behind her and propels me the apartment keys.

I catch the keys in my hands, “Good to know you’re alive, Harry,” Elise’s commentary takes me by surprise as I kiss her cheek, and she moves away from me.

She’s exasperated.

“What do you mean? What’s wrong?” I immediately challenge, “What’s with handing me the keys?” I dangle the keys in my hand.

Elise raises her brow and crosses her arms over her chest, “What’s wrong?” Elise scoffs, “Harry, you haven’t spoken to me in two weeks, not sure if we are even together.”

“What? Sweetheart, I called you the other night before I fell asleep.”

Elise shakes her head, “You haven’t called. I got a text from you, but it said my name, and that was all,” Elise responds, showing me her phone, proving that she is, in fact, correct.

Fuckity-fuck-fuck.

“Oh,” I trail off, feeling like a horrible person… “I’m so sorry.”

And the award for worst boyfriend, once again, goes to me. How wonderful. At this point, I may as well keep an honorary speech on hand. Damnit.

“Harry… if you don’t want to be with me—“

“Darling,” I begin, “I thought I called you the other night… I swear I even texted you today when I woke up,” I assure her, clutching my phone from my table and clicking her messages.

The messages are somewhere here. I know there’s some sort of logical explanation. I remember distinctly. I texted her.

My heart drops, and I shake my head, dissatisfied with myself, “I uh… I never hit send… I never realised that the texts I did send never delivered,” I show her my screen of undelivered text messages and a message from this morning I never sent. “I look like an ass.”

Elise snickers and nods her head, “What else is new?” She jokes, and I can’t help but playfully roll my eyes and grin at her. However, she may be joking; deep down, she and I both know that there’s some truth to the joking matter. I’m an ass, and I can openly admit it.

“I know it is no excuse, but I’m dead tired and busy. I wasn’t trying to blow you off or forget you. I genuinely thought I had called and texted you… Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“You still want to be with me?”

“I’m sorry you even doubt my intentions. Of course, I do. Not sure you feel the same about me.”

It has never been my intentions for her to have to doubt whether I want to be with her. I want to be with her, one-hundred and ten per cent. She’s the woman I aspire to spend my time with. It’s too early to say this, but I want to spend my life with her. We aren’t ready for marriage, but she is the one I want to come home to every night. She’s the one with who I want to grow and build a life.

“I know you’re tired and swamped, but I did feel like you didn’t want to be with me,” Elise confesses.

I nod my head, considering her feelings and how I may have made it seem like I don’t give a damn. “That’s me just being an ass who is struggling to get everything done. Can I make it up to you?”

“How?” Elise demands.

I can imagine she is tired of hearing whether I can make it up to her. I’m tired of hearing it, too. I sound like a broken record, which isn’t my intent, but I am doing my best. My best isn’t good enough, and I know this, but I will do better. I will do what it takes to make her feel valued. I don’t want her ever to have to question my intentions or love for her.

“Stay the night with me. I’ll go to work and come back at around eight before you have to be up. I’ll bring coffee and breakfast… if you like?” I suggest, unsure of how to make things up to her. Dinner and flowers are too cliche, and I have already promised her that. Right now, all I can do is breakfast, and I physically don’t have time for anything else until the weekend.

Elise nods her head and agrees, “Can you maybe try to remember that I’d like a text or a call, so I know you’re alive?”

“I’ll do my best. I’m sorry, baby, I am,” I step closer and kiss her cheek before giving her a warm hug.

I need to make it up to her, and I need to show her I care and want to be with her. She deserves better than a boyfriend who forgets to press send on a text message. It may not be a big deal to some, it was a genuine mistake, but I feel horrible for not realising I hadn’t spoken to Elise. I feel as though I neglected my duties as a boyfriend to make sure she is okay and feel valued and wanted. It is the small things that can make a difference in a relationship.

Elise hasn’t asked for much; she wants my time and effort, which I will give her to the best of my ability.

❈ ❈ ❈

I feel a tender touch to my shoulders, and I draw myself away from my sleeping state. I open my eyes and groggily glance around. Fuck, I fell asleep on my laptop. “You fell asleep,” Elle informs me, her hand massaging soothing circles on my back.

I nod my head and sigh. I touch my fingers to my temple and rub them slowly, “I have the worst headache, and this is due in an hour,” I gesture towards my computer screen that is only making my headache graver.

“Would you like me to finish it for you?” Elise kindly offers.

“Do you even know what I am writing about?” The words leave my lips without me thinking twice about how they sound.

“Don’t be a condescending ass, Harry,” Elise mutters.

I heavily sigh and nod my head, “I’m sorry. Do you know about this,” I motion towards my laptop that has my composition mostly completed? I am not sure if I am nearly finished or not.

“Harry, I can use the literature as a framework to sum up your essay, unless you don’t trust I have the intelligence to do so?” Elise answers, annoyed with me still.

I do not blame her for being irritated with me, After all, I have unintentionally blown her off, and now I am making her believe she is not intelligent, which was not my purposes. I know she is brilliant. She may not be as into the business world as I am, but she is one hell of a writer. Elise is excellent with essays and literature. “And don’t forget, I have to take business, so I do know the basics,” Elise notifies me, and I bow my head.

“Again, I am sorry, Elle,” I apologise, “Be my guest, have at it,” I move my chair, and Elise rests beside me, immediately beginning to read what I have written.

“For someone who is great at business, you have a lot of errors,” Elisse chuckles, nudging me lightly. I nod my head and hum.

“Business major, not an English major, also wrote that with a headache and no sleep,” I mumble before I rest my arms on the desk and place my head to lean in my arms, closing my eyes and falling in and out of sleep while Elise types away. “Harry,” Elise taps me.

I hum my acknowledgement, “Hey, what is the main conclusion you want to be emphasised?”

“Baby, I don’t care,” I murmur tiredly, “Just write whatever sounds good, just don’t fail me,” I continue.

“Great, so I will conclude on valuation and whether to rely on an algorithm or on an ad-hoc analysis,” Elise confirms.

“Sounds good,” I admit, grappling with concentrating, my eyes stinging and my head spinning. “I trust you, darling,” I drowsily mumble, prompting to rest my head on her shoulder, closing my eyes again and drifting off to sleep.

❈

It isn’t long before I am woken, and it feels like only moments have passed where I was put at ease and managed to get a few moments of relaxation. “Hey, Harry, hey, sweetheart,” Elise gradually and benevolently tears me from my sleep, and I lift my head off her shoulder, brushing my eyes as I attempt to focus on her. “It’s done; you need to just go to bed.”

I groggily come to terms with my surroundings, regarding that Elise has finished my paper, “What time is it? I still have work to do,” I shake my head, remembering the collection of work I need to finish. I need to establish a fundamental algorithm for one of my clients, and I still need to figure out a way to balance Elise’s sister’s portfolio that was due the weekend of her wedding. Still, Jamie put it on hold due to her antics and marriage. With Elouise getting married, there is a chance she could venture to combine assets with her husband, but if he is intelligent, he won’t let her encounter any of his assets. I would not combine anything with her. There is a time and a place to consolidate things, and a new marriage is not the time. They have not established boundaries, nor have they demonstrated the true meaning behind the wedding. I think Elouisa married for money, point-blank.

“It’s one, and we are going to bed. You’re not working yourself to death,” Elise informs me, closing down my emails and shutting my laptop.

“Elle, I have to send it and —“

“I already sent it. You owe me, by the way,” Elise smiles, standing up from her position and taking my hand, dragging me with her.

Elise and I wander towards the hallway, “Add it to my tab,” I chuckle, “Tell ya what… I’ll get breakfast in the morning, and this weekend I’ll take you to a nice dinner,” I inform Elise, aware that she deserves more than what I’ve given her lately. I’m not sure how she hasn’t thrown in the towel and told me to go fuck myself.

“That would be nice,” Elise accepts as we step into my bedroom, and I waste no time taking my shirt off and launching it to the corner. This is the earliest I have managed to crawl into bed, and if it weren’t for Elise, I’d still be awake, perching at my computer and making my headache ten times worse.

“Thank you for finishing my paper,” I grasp a t-shirt from my drawer while Elise draws back the covers of my bed, “I appreciate it,” I assure Elise, handing her a t-shirt for her to wear to bed.

“Ignore me again for a week or two, and I won’t be so nice,” Elise responds, taking the shirt from my hands. I nod my head, and I don’t expect her to be friendly and forgiving when I fuck up and act like an arse. I need to be held accountable. Elise leans up and kisses my cheek before caressing her hands to my chest, “You’re hot.”

“Thanks, but I’m not in the mood for compliments.”

“Moron,” Elise rolls her eyes, “You’re warm,” she caresses her hands to my cheeks, “Your cheeks are flushed.”

“Mhm,” I hum, “I get migraines after a long period with little sleep,” I shrug my shoulders, not too concerned about things, “It happens like once every few months.”

“Has it ever occurred to you to sleep?” Elise challenges with a touch of sass to her tone of voice.

Sleep would be delightful, but I have too much on my plate.

“It has,” I laugh, “But I don’t have enough time for that.”

“How are you not miserable right now?”

“I am,” I respond, “I just know I have to deal with it. Are we going to continue talking about my lack of sleep and terrible migraine, or are we going to sleep for a few hours?” I question, moving to my side of the bed and crawling between my sheets.

In all fairness, I am miserable. I feel like utter shit, my head is pounding, any sort of light burns my eyes, and it feels like I’m just being clobbered with a club.

“A few hours?” Elise seems surprised at my comment.

I only have a few hours to spare, nothing more, nothing less.

I nod my head, “I have work at six, so yes, a few hours.”

“Surely you’re not getting up?”

“I have to, Elle,” I sigh, “I can’t afford not to.”

In all honesty, I don’t want to get up in a few hours, I’d love nothing more than to sleep in and allow my migraine time to dwindle off, but I can’t. The world doesn’t stop because I’m unwell or for any reason. My mother’s bills still necessitate to be paid, meetings still need to take session, and my school work still needs attending. I don’t get sick days. I don’t get to sleep in. It’s nothing against Elise, but I’m not lucky enough to get to have a few additional hours of sleep as she can.

“You’re wearing yourself too thin.”

“I have to.”

“Can’t I help?”

“You have; you finished my paper for me. That’s more than enough.” I smile towards Elise, kissing her, sweetly, “Thank you for your help.” I kiss her again before stepping away and moving to my side of the bed.

It is not Elise’s responsibility to help my situations. These are my problems to deal with, and she has enough to worry about on her own. I do not wish to burden her with my issues, nor do I wish for her to have to deal with anything more than she already needs to. I don’t want to scare her away, and I don’t want to risk letting her help me and then leaving me because it is too much to handle. I can handle things on my own… I think.

❈ ❈ ❈

The drive to Elise’s parent’s house has been nothing but full of anxiety. I have no reason to be anxious, but I am. I haven’t stepped foot back in the house since the weekend I met her parents. Ever since, I have kept all meetings with the parents in public places. The gates to the private estate open, and I drive up the driveway, parking next to Elise’s car before turning my car off. I sit in the driver’s seat, taking a deep breath as I take in my surroundings. One day I will be able to afford such an extravagant house like this, but for now, I will settle with my tiny apartment and non-glamorous lifestyle.

I get out of my car and close the door. I make the short walk along the perfect cobble pathway towards the door. Everything about the estate is immaculate, from the gardens to how the Autumn door wreath sits flawlessly aligned. Although the leaves are shifting to magma-reds, hot-oranges and fever-yellows, not a single leaf is on the ground— the groundskeeper but be astonishing at his job. The barbecue-red leaves hang soundlessly on the trees, and I can't help but glance up and watch in awe, curious as to whether one will fall and wreck the pure aesthetic the Cartier’s have going on. I shake my head and chuckle to myself before walking up the steps. I stand before the double doors and adjust my shirt, making sure my collar is suitable, and my shirt is not creased. I take a breath and knock on the door.

After a few moments, the door opens, “Well, it’s about time you show up,” Conrad, Elise’s dad, comments with a grin, “I thought you were bringing the liquor?” Conrad questions as he opens the door wider and allows me to step into the house.

I shake his hand, “Hello, and no sir, I did not bring the liquor. Next time I will bring you a bottle,” I respond as we shake hands.

I was unaware that it was now customary for me to bring liquor. I shall be prepared for next time. Hopefully, this time, I will not feel as though I do not belong here or that I am not good enough for Elise. Although our last gathering at the house was far from what I had hoped, ever since that day, her parent’s and I have gotten closer and gotten along. Conrad has realised I am not here for the money, and I do not want any special treatment in the business world. I want to make it on my own with my name, not theirs.

“Elise is at the kitchen table, finishing another essay.”

“She has had quite a few to do,” I nod my head.

“While she finishes, care to have a drink with me?”

“Uh, sure,” I agree, following Conrad into the living room and standing by him as he picks up his decanter set and begins to pour a glass.

“Question for you… Would you consider working for me?”

I shake my head, “All due respect, no. You’re my girlfriend's father, and I do not want to make things awkward. I am also quite happy at Jamie’s company.”

“Damnit, Jamie got a good one. Okay, fair… Well, I would like to have lunch with you and talk business one day this week, just to get to know you more.”

“I can do Thursday?” I suggest, “I leave Thursday night to travel with Jamie.”

“I guess that will do,” Conrad nods his head, “Where are you going?”

“We are going to LA.”

“My brother and I need to talk more. I am leaving for LA next week. We could have tag-teamed clients.”

I chuckle and shrug, “That is between the two of you. Do you not worry about competing with each other for clients?”

“No, we have boundaries.” Conrad shakes his head just as Elise wanders in and welcomes me.

She kisses my cheek and beams towards her father, taking a prompt sip of my drink before asking us about our conversation, and of course, rolling her eyes at me when she is told we are discussing business.

❈ ❈ ❈

After a brief moment at Elise’s parent’s house, I was enlightened that we would be setting sail on the River Thames. I had no idea that today's adventures entailed such a journey. I was under the impression it would be a relaxing day at the house— I was mistaken. I did not anticipate spending part of the day on a yacht. I did not know Conrad owned a yacht.

I knew Elise’s family was wealthy, but I did not think they were this prosperous. Elise doesn’t show nor act that she has a very elite lifestyle. She never once mentioned that her father had a yacht. It makes me wonder what the fuck else they have that I have no clue about. After all, Elise has an investment that is almost worth a million dollars— and somehow, she is still asking me for investment help and assistance with the stock market.

“Harry,” Conrad begins as he hands me a glass of some sort of alcohol, “I believe I owe you an apology,” Elise’s Dad begins, taking me by surprise.

I look at him and nod, waiting for him to give me some sort of explanation. I am not sure what he owes me an apology on, but I am willing to listen to him. “I didn’t give you a fair chance when I first met you months ago. I thought you were hanging around for a business opportunity. I know that way of thinking was wrong. I should not have assumed.”

I don’t blame Conrad for not being open to his daughter dating someone who does not come from the same upbringing as she did. I didn’t have a gorgeous house with perfect gardens. I didn’t have the luxuries she had and still has; I grew up with everything I needed and not much more. My mother couldn’t afford luxuries, and she still can’t. One day, I do hope to give my mother the amenities she deserves. I want to be able to fix her house up the way she wants it and buy her a nice car that she doesn’t need to worry about, whether it will break down on her drive to the grocery store. I didn’t grow up anywhere near close to the same lifestyle as Elise, so I understand the judgement on Conrads end. Every father wants the best for their daughter, and I might not have much money or much to offer her materialistically, but I can give her my time and love— I personally think that is better than anything anyone could buy her. One day, I will buy Elise the things she deserves. One day I will buy her the bracelets and the necklaces, all the things women love to receive. But for now, all I can offer Elise is my devoted time and love.

I accept Conrad's apology, “Sir, I want nothing more than to give her all the great things she is used to, but for now… All I have is myself. I can’t give her expensive dinners and diamonds. I can barely get her flowers, I will be honest, but I can give her my time, effort, and love. I care for your daughter a lot… To be honest, I am in love with her,” I begin to speak sentences before thinking about them. Part of me wants to stop sounding so soft, but the other part knows that Conrad needs to know my true intentions with Elise, “I may never be able to afford a yacht like this,” I gesture to the space around us, “And I may be dirt poor, but I will never be the man my father was, and believe me, that means more to me than anything materialistic I could give her. She will never have to worry about whether I love her. She will never have to worry about where her next meal will come from or whether she will be alone… I will put her first, I will put her before myself, and I will treat her the way a lady should be treated.”

Being a man and being the complete opposite of my father is what I strive for in life, aside from being a CEO. I have learnt what a man is and what a man is not. I have learnt the difference between a deadbeat husband and a real husband. I will not be the man my father was; I will worship the ground Elise walks on, and I will do everything in my power to make sure she is taken care of in every way. Like I have said, I might not ever get to give her mansion with the most beautiful art hung on the walls she could imagine, but she will know that every time I walk through that door, that I am coming home to her. Elise knows that I am the one she can call at any hour with any problem, I will always be there for her, and I will support her in all her decisions. I am aware that we may fight and argue over stupid shit. Hell, we will even fight over things that aren’t stupid, but I wouldn’t want to fight with anyone else at the end of the day. We will have our moments where we want to strangle each other. I know the time is coming, and I know there will be times she won’t want to speak to me or times where I have fucked up, but that is the beauty of a relationship— you grow together, and you learn.

I don’t plan to give up when the going is tough. I will not leave her in the dark and call it quits because things might not get any easier for us financially. I may run from many things when it gets tough, I may bury myself in work in school when I don’t want to deal with personal issues, but I will do my best not to run from her— from us.

“You don’t speak of your father. May I ask why?”

I grow withdrawn for a moment, unsure of what to say. I have managed to avoid my father’s issue for most of the relationship with Elise, but I know at some point I will have to tell her a few things. I would much prefer to discuss how Conrad succeeded in his business to the point he owns a yacht and can sail on the River Thames with a skipper and crew. I wonder if he even bought the dock as well that he docks at. I shake my thoughts away, remembering I have been asked a question about my father. “He isn’t in my life.”

“You mentioned that,” Conrad nods.

“My father is not what I would call a man. He is just someone who is a waste of space in society.”

“That’s a bit harsh, Harry.”

I lift my shoulders into a shrug, “All due respect, but that is nothing compared to the things he has done and said to my sister and myself,” I respond, not trying to sound like a prick. I don’t like having conversations about my Father. He is not worth my time or energy. I should have just told them the has is dead. In all fairness, he is dead to me. “He was an alcoholic. I don’t like to get in detail about him.”

Conrad nods his head and respects my decision of not wanting to speak much of my father. Conrad takes a sip of his drink, and I finally do the same, allowing the whiskey to give me a sense of ease. “Elise told me that you had been the one paying to keep your mother’s house?”

I nod my head, “Yes, sir… Mum lost her job and my sister…. Well, she is going through an emotional breakdown and struggling herself,” I admit, unsure of how much detail Elise has told her parents.

“I have a lot of respect for you, Harry.”

“Why?” I curiously ask.

Conrad leans forward and places his drink down at the table, “You are helping your mother and working night and day plus doing your masters, and you have not complained once.”

“I think I have complained,” I shake my head.

“Elise has said otherwise. You’re a genuine and modest gentleman, and you seem to put others first… I respect a man who can do his best to provide and not make excuses.”

I am not sure what to say. If I didn’t go to work and do what I do, my mother and sister would be on the streets. Someone had to step up and do what needed to be done. I would never forgive myself if my mother lost her house. The house may be small in comparison to what Conrad has, but it is still a home. It is the place my sister and I grew up in. It is the place my mother worked hard to maintain to the best of her ability. “I’d do it all over again if I had to,” I shrug, not really in the mindset that this is something that I should be praised for. I don’t need praise for stepping up. I just want my family to be happy and healthy.

“You’re a good man. I see that,” Conrad nods, finally cracking a small smile, “I don’t think I would want my daughter dating anyone else.”

I stifle a laugh and shake my head, “Give it time. I am sure Elise will tell you I am an asshole.”

“We all are assholes at some point. It’s more so common with people like us.”

“People like us?”

“We are businessmen, and we are born to lead and be assertive. Sometimes that crosses over into being an asshole. Do you know how many times my wife has called me every name under the sun? Or how many times she has told me I am being a CEO and need to walk out of the house and adjust my tone before walking back in?” Conrad questions in all seriousness, and I can’t help but chuckle. I can see Elise doing the same thing in the future. “Cathleen does not take my shit, and I don’t think Elise will take it either. She will call you an asshole, and all you can do is learn where the line is drawn between CEO and boyfriend or husband.”

“Elise has already called me an asshole,” I confess, “I deserved it.”

“Half the time, we do deserve it. It’s in our nature, but again, we learn to control it. We better get back to the ladies before they think I have killed you,” Conrad stands to his feet.

I stare at him and raise a brow, “Was that your initial plan, sir?”

“No, but it will be if you call me sir one more time,” Conrad laughs, “My name is Conrad,” Elise’s Dad corrects me, not wanting me to be as formal. I nod my head and stand up, taking my drink with me before we climb the stairs, leaving the cabin area and stepping back out into the crisp air, Conrad and I parting ways and walking to opposite ends of the yacht.

I make my way around the yacht, amazed by how big the fucking thing is. I know this thing had to have cost more than I can imagine. I smile to myself when I see Elise sitting on a blanket at the yacht’s foredeck with a book in her hand. I watch her for a moment as she is clueless to the world around her, her hair is blowing in the breeze of the slow sails, and her eyes are cast on a book with no intentions of looking away. Most people would be taking pictures or drinking on their father’s yacht. Instead, she is content, reading a book on her own and paying no attention to the rest of the world.

I step closer to where she rests, “Elle,” I call her name from her behind, not wanting to startle her as I walk closer. Elise turns to look at me over her shoulder and smiles that gorgeous smiles of hers.

“I see you made it out alive,” Elise chuckles, keeping her finger in place on her book.

“I did,” I nod, “I see you have your nose in a book.”

“I do,” Elise shows me the cover of the book.

I cock my head to the side and look at the title, “Haven’t you read that before?”

Elise nods and hums her response, “And you are rereading it?” I question.

“It is a good book, Harry. Do you have something against the Great Gatsby?” Elise asks, sounding shocked, almost as if I have insulted her but asking if she is rereading it.

I am not the kind of person to read books twice. I read them the first time, watch the movie and then call it a day. I have never been interested in reading something over and over again, just for the fun of it. I know the ending. I know the plot. Why reread it?

I sit down beside her and drape my arm around her as I kiss the top of her head, “Eh, I won’t lie. I found the book boring.”

“How so?”

“It’s a story about elite society.”

“Is that what you got out of the whole book, Harry?” My response does not amuse Elise.

“No, I don’t like how the book was portrayed. Not one of the characters were good. It isn’t like To Kill a Mockingbird where the book manages to display both the good and the evil inside people.”

“It’s the writing style that makes the book so great. It’s the pros.”

“Yeah, not a literary person, love,” I shake my head, “Anyway,” I trail off, “I have to go to LA for work on Thursday,” I finally tell Elise that I have a business meeting in LA that will take most of my time next week.

“Damn it, Harry,” Elise huffs.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Now, who is going to help me study?” Elise chuckles, causing me to roll my eyes at her.

This woman is something else, that is for sure. “Do you keep me around just to help you study?”

Elise shrugs her shoulders and closes her book, “Also for your good looks, but seriously, I need some help with my China and globalism course.”

“I assume you have a test?”

“Indeed,” Elise nods, “Can I get some help?”

“Sure, we can before I leave, or if you want, we can facetime while I am in LA to help?” I offer, unsure of when the best time will be for her to study. “China Globalism is a blast. You will love it,” I sarcastically add, very aware of the fact that Elise will hate the course. She may be knowledgeable,, but this will be the course that tests her in every way. The fucking course broke me at one point, it was a horrible experience, but it has come in handy with Jamie’s clients. However, I do not foresee this course helping Elise. She doesn’t want to get into this side of the business. She doesn’t even want to be in the business world. Elise has a true passion for English. I know she wants to do something with writing and is only pursuing business for her father.

“I already hate it,” Elise mutters, “So, you will be able to help?”

“Of course,” I agree, “I don’t know why you think I won’t help,” I kiss her cheek as she places her book down on the blanket.

Elise looks at me and pushes her hair behind her ear, “I know you’re busy; that’s why.”

“Mhm,” I hum, “I am going to have to go up to my mother’s sometime soon. Would you like to come with me?” I softly offer, not wanting to make the dreaded drive to Chesire on my own. I don’t want to go up there, but I have to. My mother deserves to see me, even if it is for a few moments.

Elise rests her head on my shoulder, “I would love to,” Elise responds cheerfully, far too cheery to be going to Cheshire. I wish I had her happy demeanour about Cheshire, but I cannot. I can’t even attempt to fake it.

My phone goes off, and I reach into my pocket and grab it. I look down at the screen and bite the inside of my cheek when I see ‘Logan’ pop up on my screen.

I don’t want to deal with him, and I thought I made it quite clear that I want nothing to do with the spawn of satan. My hatred for Logan will probably never subside, so we should have minimal contact, but for some reason, like my father, Logan is determined to cause havoc on my life in every single way possible.

I quickly read the text message, much to my bitter distaste, “Harry, I know you didn’t want to hear from me so soon, but if it’s a 999 situation. — Logan”

I place my phone back in my pocket and stare out at the water in an attempt to find my thoughts. A 999 situation with Logan can only really mean one thing. Blood. The last time it was a 999 situation, I had to swallow my hatred towards him and give him blood. I am not sure why he doesn’t just go to our father for it— but I can’t be petty and scoop to the level of declining him what I believe is primary care. I may hate him, and he may be what I consider the worst thing to happen to my life, but I can’t sit back and not help him with this. Ever since his mother passed away, I have been the one to donate blood to him when he needs it. I don’t remember our ages well, but I know that at around sixteen, his mother died, and up until that point, she was the one who would help him when his health got too poor. Now it is up to me. I could be an asshole and refuse to help him. I could tell him to fuck off and go to our father… But what kind of man would I be to deny someone essential health? What kind of man would I be if I didn’t help someone in need? Most of all, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t put my anger and resentment to the side to benefit someone else?

To answer my questions, I would be a selfish prick like my father, and I refuse to be anything like him.

I pull myself back to reality and remind myself that today was meant to be a day of not stressing about things I cannot change or fix. I cannot change the predicaments that happen. I am not in control of them. I am only in control of what I do. When I am done with Elise and her family, I will see what needs to happen with Logan and do what needs to be done.

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micahcharlson · 4 years

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More Briefly(?)

Is It Time to Rethink Swain's Sequels?

I’ve been wanting to follow up on my last post for some time, but every time start to dig in I get overwhelmed by the sheer size of it.

And if I, who wrote it, am having trouble, I have to believe most of you are also.

To that end I’m reposting it, in an attempt to summarize what I was really trying to say.

In particular, I’m going to be ripping apart the comments that were copied into that post and selecting only what’s necessary for understanding my point.

In this version of this post, I’ll still be keeping some good deal of the original post entirely though. And, to clarify things a bit more, I’ve added some section headers to set off different areas of the post, and added an area where I summarize what the key point of that section is. Occasionally I’ve tried to add paragraph breaks and other whitespace to give the post a less dense look for improved readability.

Somewhat briefer, then:

This article is in response to a guest post by Peter von Stackelberg on K.M. Weiland’s blog, and what he had to say about creating scene structure (An Intuitive 4-Step Process for Creating Vibrant Scene Structure), as well as the questions it raised for myself and others.

An understanding of Dwight V. Swain’s Scene and Sequel technique is necessary for every writer hoping for success, but if you’re unfamiliar with it then reading Weiland’s series on How to Structure Scenes in Your Story should get you up to speed.

This will be my attempt to synthesize Swain’s concepts with what von Stackelberg had to say about creating scene structure, specifically regarding how I feel von Stackelberg’s concepts fits into Swain’s. (It’s entirely possible I’ll find it makes more sense looking at it the other way around—how Swain’s concepts fit into von Stackelberg—though when all’s said and done, I’ve knows about Swain’s work longest.)

When relying on comments left on Weiland’s blog, I’ll give credit to the commenter and note the time/date of their comment.

To begin…

My Initial Thoughts

Here are my initial thoughts before reading any of the comments readers left. That is, my initial thoughts based solely on von Stackelberg’s post.

I believe before implementing von Stackelberg’s four questions under “Scene Structure as a Writing Template”, writers must understand the character’s scene goal.

Once the character’s scene goal has been determined, it’s possible to proceed to those four questions. After they’re used to flesh out the scene, they can be interwoven into Swain’s scene structure. Sequels are another matter entirely.

The resulting merging of the steps looks like this:

Step 1: Identify the POV character’s immediate goal for this new Scene.

Step 2: Determine what the Scene’s Peak action is.

Step 3: Identify what set into motion the Peak action? What is the Initiate element?

Step 4: What is the result of the Peak action? What is the Release?

Step 5: Where did this all happen? When? Who was involved? This is the Establish element.

Step 6: Fill in Orienting information about the setting, timing, or context of the scene which will help the reader understand the where, when, and who of the scene.

Step 7: Fill in additional Details about character’s, settings, or significant objects in the Initiate (or, sparingly, the Release) elements.

Step 8: Add Prolongs, additional actions that prolong the overall action, to create suspense—which heightens dramatic tension—typically in the Initiate sequence (or, rarely, in the Release sequence.)

Step 9: Write the Sequel (Reaction, Dilemma, Decision) as normal, creating the character’s goal for the next scene.

Key Point of My Initial Thoughts

I believed scenes and sequels were alike, yet different from each other.

My Subsequent Thoughts (During/After Reading Comments)

Reading through all the comments forced me to reconsider some of what I earlier determined to be true. In the comments below, I’ve italicized items of particular interest.

On the topic of cliffhangers:

Based on this snip from a comment from Peter Moore (JULY 13, 2020 AT 12:52 PM):

How do scenes that end with heightened tension fit into this scene structure?

And this snip from von Stackelberg’s response (JULY 13, 2020 AT 1:58 PM):

From the story flow perspective, this kind of cliffhanger is very disruptive for a couple of reasons:

It leaves readers hanging without any sort of resolution to what happened in the scene.

It disrupts the flow of the story because you then need to have the Release at the beginning of the next chapter/scene or, if there are intervening chapters/scenes, at the beginning of the scene where you return to the part of the storyline where you left off with the cliffhanger. The research (and I tend to be a believer in research) tells us that the sequence of Establish > Initiate > Peak > Release is important for readers/viewers understanding of what happens in a scene.

As a writer, I want my scenes to end in a way that prompts readers to move on to the next chapter.

You can certainly do it by going Release (for previous scene) > Establish > Initiate > Peak. However, as both a writer and a reader, that sequence of elements leaves me feeling unsatisfied. I want some sort of conclusion to the scene.

I think the answer to “Where do you end a chapter?” is not in moving the Release to some other chapter, but to focus on using the Release as a place where you basically let your audience know whether the scene’s main character achieved his/her scene goal. The suspense comes not from withholding information (i.e. the Release), but by adding a tidbit of new information.

For example, your protagonist has achieved (or not achieved) his/her scene goals but…is now in deeper doo-doo because…

This raising and releasing of dramatic tension is a real challenge to pull off. Once you master it, however, you are well on your way to writing some real page-turners.

And this response (JULY 22, 2020 AT 11:07 PM):

Your comment about not liking cliffhangers resonated with me. Giving the reader more information to ratchet up the tension is so much more difficult but also more organic/less contrived.

But more relevant information, that builds on what the reader already knows, thrusts/carries the reader forward into the next scene with the confidence that their questions are going to be resolved. They are eager to read to the end of the next scene.

I must conclude that a scene isn’t finished until the Release has been incorporated. The resulting suspense isn’t built so much from “What happened next?” as it is from the reader asking “How did what happened just affect the character, thereby changing the character’s thinking, plans, and the character’s core being?”

Key Point on the Topic of Cliffhangers

Suspense at the end of a scene can be maintained by causing the reader to wonder how what happened to the character is affecting said character.

On the topic of mapping Swain’s concepts to von Stackelberg’s for vibrant scene structure:

Based on this comment from Jennifer Bobrowicz (JULY 14, 2020 AT 9:40 AM):

Your article helps me better understand how to keep my scenes focused while including important details. In a nutshell, the scene’s Peak drives the writing of that scene.

However, I’m confused on how I could use your framework along with the model of scene/sequel KM Weiland explains in her books. Katy’s method has helped immensely with structuring my WIP, but I’d like to know if I can meld the two. So, here are my specific questions.

The Peak Action seems like it could be the Disaster in the Scene (Weiland) and the Outcome [Micah Charlson’s note: I believe this is the Release?] seems like it could apply to the Reaction in the Sequel (Weiland). The Outcome would then go into the next scene or even the next chapter. Your framework has scenes divided into 4 parts, while Katy shows two types of scenes (Scene/Sequel) with each divided into 3 parts. Perhaps, I’m splitting hairs or not fully understanding something. The Scene/Sequel framework (Weiland) seems to work well in establishing goal, conflict, and a mini climax (Disaster in the Scene), and then it (hopefully) keeps the reader wondering how the character will respond in the next scene/chapter.

So, can the two methods be melded together? In your opinion, is ending with the Peak and picking up with the Outcome a mistake? Do I understand correctly that the scene should be wrapped up (no cliffhangers) with the Outcome, then a new question should be raised to keep the reader going?

And this partial response from Peter von Stackelberg (JULY 14, 2020 AT 1:51 PM):

…

These two scenes from “All the President’s Men” — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn3MSQogVeY — for a great example of how to use the Establish > Initiate > Peak > Release structure. As well, these two scenes are an excellent example of how to do the 1-2 punch of Scene & Sequel that Katie talks about.

The terminology of “Scene” and “Sequel” can, I think, be somewhat misleading because it makes it appear that there is one of each. In fact, I think as Katie has pointed out, both the “Scene” and “Sequel” are scenes as we would normally define them — they have their own set of characters interacting in a well defined time and space.

Both the initial scene and the one that follows should be developed using the E.I.P.R. structure. In the clip from All the President’s Men, these phases are pretty clear in the first scene but a little more subtle in the second scene but also follows the E.I.P.R. structure.

I’ll admit this twists my thinking a bit. To explain, I’ll use the following definitions of Scenes and Sequels as I’ve always understood them:

A Scene is a scene in which the character attempts to achieve an immediate goal—this attempt being one type of action in the cycle of “Goal, Conflict, Disaster”, though I prefer the terminology of “Goal, Conflict, Outcome”—in the service of achieving the overall story goal, whatever that may be. I think I’d say most of the time, if not always, Scenes provide the external action, or the plot. (But it is early as I write this, “early” herein defined as “I haven’t had nearly enough coffee yet.” Still, I’d bet I’m correct, keeping in mind I did say “most of the time.”)

A Sequel is a scene in which the character processes the Scene’s Outcome (good or bad)—this processing itself being simply another type of action, in the pattern of “Reaction, Dilemma, Decision” (leading to the next Scene’s Goal.) So a Sequel, it could be said, is just a scene with a different type of goal than the goal of a Scene:

The goal of a Sequel could be stated as “to process the previous Scene’s Outcome, weighing the pros and cons of each option going forward, and considering all the benefits and consequences inherent in each possible action, in order to determine the best course of action for continuing to pursue the overall story goal.” This processing of the Outcome is, in a Sequel, known as the Reaction. (This is a kind of cost-benefit analysis (CBA) of the contemplated actions for the next Scene.)

This pursuit of the Sequel’s goal—the actual performance of the CBA if you will—is the Sequel’s version of the Scene’s Conflict, which in a Sequel is called the Dilemma, an internal conflict.

This internal conflict, this CBA (even if a team effort, with much back and forth dialogue and apparent plot action) must lead the character—alone, in essence—to make a Decision (the Sequel’s version of the Scene’s Outcome) he or she will commit to—if only in the short term. This commitment to the Decision will always be initially an internal act, even if expressed explicitly after the Decision has been made. (You gotta decide before you can tell anyone what you’ve decided, right?)

Key Point on the topic of mapping Swain’s concepts to von Stackelberg’s for vibrant scene structure:

Sequels are Scenes where the Goal, Conflict, and Outcome are internal versus external, and thus have the same structure.

Are sequels even needed?

Now, before I make my controversial suggestion here, let it be known that I still believe Dwight Swain was a genius and I’ll highly revere all that he’s taught all of us.

That said, if a Sequel is simply another type of Scene, and should be developed no differently than a Scene employing the overlying mesh of E.I.P.R., then perhaps it’s time to scrap the idea of a Sequel completely. Because, in reality, a Sequel could also be viewed as having these parts:

Goal (react to the Scene’s Disaster and determine the next course of action—i.e., the next Scene’s Goal)

Conflict (struggle within—i.e., an internal conflict—with the pros and cons alternative courses of action and the consequences of each; literally, a Dilemma)

Outcome (whereby a decision is reached and the next Scene’s Goal is established)

So, it might be helpful (to some of us) to forgo any thought of writing Sequels altogether, and instead think of writing internal Scenes in their place.

That’s probably the same end result, but changing our own internal thought processes might point our minds in different directions, and unlock other possibilities for our stories.

Another possibility is when, while reviewing previous work writing in the Scene/Sequel format, making the attempt at looking at these Sequels through this different lens.

In Conclusion

So, finally, bringing all this back to von Stackelberg and his excellent post, each scene—Scene or Sequel—will end with an Outcome, which will require the Release element be incorporated into the Scene (external/“Scene”, or internal/“Sequel”.) Deleting Step 9 from the merging that resulted, the steps look like this:

Step 1: Identify the character’s immediate goal for this new Scene

External: What action has the character decided upon after the last internal scene.

Internal: How did the previous scenes Outcome affect the character as he or she begins to come to a decision what to do next?

Step 2: Determine what the Scene’s Peak action is.

Step 3: Identify what set into motion the Peak action? What is the Initiate element?

Step 4: What is the result of the Peak action? What is the Release?

Step 5: Where did this all happen? When? Who was involved? This is the Establish element.

Step 6: Fill in Orienting information about the setting, timing, or context of the scene which will help the reader understand the where, when, and who of the scene.

Step 7: Fill in additional Details about character’s, settings, or significant objects in the Initiate (or, sparingly, the Release) elements.

I promise you, I still have some unsettled feelings on some level that I’m having trouble coming to grips with, let alone being able to articulate. But when that day comes that I can put what I’m feeling into words, I’ll have more to say on the topic.

And, hopefully, with more brevity. Looking back at what I've been able to trim from the previous post, it is still a behemoth. In the meantime, all I can say is: stay tuned.

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femalerose23 · 3 years

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It is worth discussing that taking SARMs is NOT as reliable as steroids. If they were then everybody utilizing steroids would certainly have stopped and switched over a very long time earlier. Having stated this, SARMs are taken at a much reduced dosage than steroids/testosterone. A normal Ostarine dosage is 20mg for 8 weeks yet a typical 8-week testosterone dosage would certainly be anywhere between mg per week, so if Ostarine was taken at a similar dosage would certainly similar testosterone results happen?

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" I am considering my legal alternatives, in terms of where I stand as well as what I can do. That could cost me a great deal of cash and I'm not sure I can manage to do that. They are playing with individuals lives and also credibilities, and also it's incorrect. Building muscular tissue and also bone toughness would profit a UFC competitor and also as formerly discussed, that is what ostarine does. Two Russian UFC boxers, Ruslan Magomedov and also Zubaira Tukhugov, likewise lately checked positive for ostarine. In their instances, the UFC and USADA did not think that supplement contamination was a valid explanation, as well as provided both with 2 year restrictions.

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He sent out 20 products in to be tested and also every one came back unfavorable for ostarine. I am thinking that also if it was that item or an infected supplement, or a contaminated batch, after that the odds are reduced of it coming back favorable. ' You ought to watch out for ostarine's numerous synonyms, consisting of MK-2866, enobasarm, -3-( 4-cyanophenoxy)- N- [4-cyano-3-phenyl] -2- hydroxy-2-methylpropanamide, and also GTx-024 on supplement labels'. The objective of this research is to check the safety of GSK in males and females with COPD and also muscle weakness.

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LGD-4033 as well as S-4 have been stacked for their impacts on weight loss, as have LGD-4033 and also SR9009 Stenabolic and also GW501516. Testolone is shown in studies to enhance lean muscle cells without increasing fat mass, and also to be extremely bioavailable in its oral supplement form. It also enhances speed and endurance throughout exercise, which can aid with making faster muscle gains. It assists to improve muscle stamina, significantly delays the onset of exhaustion. There is additionally a blurred line in between sporting supplements as well as nutritional supplements, which can make law challenging. In July last year, a South African supplement maker safeguarded its item, after a competitor it funded returned an AAF from one of its products. Biogen sponsors Extreme Combating Champion competitor Demarte Pena, that was issued with a lecture after an AAF for testosterone was mapped back to 'Testoforte for Stamina', produced by Biogen.

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Both OS and LG boosted muscular tissue vascularization, as well as OS had a stronger impact than LG on vascularization. On the other hand, LG possessed much more effect on muscle metabolic enzymes by raising LDH and CS tasks, whereas OS entirely caused a high CS task. A hypertrophic effect on muscular tissue fiber size was not observed under either SARM therapy. In addition, the uterotrophic impact of both of the examined SARMs at higher does might be a limitation for their application. All rats obtained a soy-free rodent diet (ssniff Spezial Diät GmbH, Soest, Germany) throughout the experiment. OS and also LG were supplied with the soy-free diet (ssniff Spezial Diät GmbH). The staying food in the cage was evaluated once a week to determine the ordinary daily food intake of a rat by separating these information by days in between the considering and variety of rats in a cage.

In Experiment II, intramuscular fat web content was established in the quadriceps femoris muscular tissue in Non-OVX, OVX, as well as OVX+LG 4 teams. In both experiments, a reduced dosage of 0.04 mg/kg BW/day was computed based upon a human-equivalent dosage enough for improvements of complete lean body mass and also physical feature. To check out dose-dependent impacts, 10-fold as well as 100-fold does were made use of. SARMs and also prohormones are 2 types of supplements used for bodybuilding and also getting a ripped, reduced look. While they both result in muscle gains, they're entirely different compounds with entirely different biochemical impacts. Because some SARMs are best for bulking as well as others are shown to be particularly reliable for reducing, they're sometimes integrated, or piled, in research study studies.

The study will inspect the results of GSK on muscle mass assessed as adjustments in leg strength, muscle mass, as well as functional steps such as walking capacity. https://peptides-uk.com/bpc157/canada/ was established to enhance muscle mass size, reduce fat, and increase testosterone degrees. Below at Top Body Nutrition, we are an organization with body home builders in mind, providing a big choice of supplements for a variety of various objectives. In this area, you will certainly find both SARMS, as well as products that are similar to SARM products. In-Vitro research studies reveal that RAD-140 has a much higher binding affinity for the androgen receptor than testosterone and also dihydrotestosterone. It likewise revealed that it was highly selective in skeletal muscle as well as bone, with just a weak hostile effect in androgenic cells. RAD-140 does likewise have an extremely weak interaction with progesterone as well as estrogen because of it not responding with any kind of various other steroid hormone receptors to any type of significant degree.

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The ordinary everyday dosage of OS and also LG was calculated based upon the everyday food intake and the mean BW in the cage on the particular week. After 13 weeks post-OVX, all animals were euthanized under CO2 anesthesia. Blood product was gathered for further evaluation of creatine kinase as a pen of muscle damages. The gastrocnemius muscular tissue, soleus muscular tissue, as well as longissimus muscular tissue were drawn out. The GM as well as SM were considered and also all muscle mass were frozen in fluid nitrogen as well as saved at − 80 ° C up until more analyses. Either left or right muscle mass were made use of randomly in either histological or enzyme analyses.

Webster states that he spent his life cost savings trying to find the resource of the ostarine, which he argues might have been due to contaminated supplements or salt tablet computers. ' The UKAD expert testified that the amount of ostarine located in my body was the lowest that has actually ever been reported (4 nanograms/ml) which would certainly make it near impossible to establish the source', reads his declaration.

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imaginaryelle · 5 years

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Okay, @tonyglowheart , here is that promised response:

@three--rings already brought up some points I was going to mention so I’ll skip over going into detail on those and just say that I agree with the use of caution and thoughtfulness in approaching works produced by other cultures (of whatever language), and I, too, love a mash-up of MDZS and CQL for ideal storytelling. Accepting genre tropes in general is really important as well. I once showed my grandfather a piece of my writing based on pulp adventure stories like Indiana Jones and his main reaction was “All these secret chambers and codes and gadgets, isn’t that all very convenient?” and I just had to shrug and say, that’s the genre, it’s part of what makes it fun to read. Also, based on reading about various medicinal histories I’ve been exploring, I can say that the coughing up blood thing is a trope based in Ancient China’s traditional medicine. Lots of pre-understanding-of-blood-circulation societies thought expelling old or stale blood was important for the body (possibly based on how menses works and reflected in Western medicine’s several-century-long obsession with bloodletting), and I recently read that having it caught in your chest and needing to cough it up was part of China’s take on things. I’m still not sure about all the other face bleeding, but if it’s not actually based in something historical it seems like a reasonable extension for the genre.

Okay, so the thing I want to respond to most is the translation bit, because I… okay. I understand that people are going to find works in translation less accessible than works written in a language they can read, and especially works written in their native language and of their own culture. Because obviously there are a ton of underlying ideas that inform word choice and symbolism and character arcs that most people just don’t really think about until they make a serious study of writing or literature (or they travel and learn more about other languages and literature traditions). On a linguistic studies level, language literally shapes the way humans in different cultures think, and what they pick out as important (an academic article that compares English and Chinese specifically can be found here). Even the distinctions between British English and American English, on a word choice and theme or syntax level, can have an impact. I have seen it turn kids off a book, because there are just too many elements they don’t get (this is, for example, why there are two English versions of Harry Potter). Same thing with different decades even. I’m talking about kidlit and YA here because that’s a lot of what I work with, but in that realm, the way we approach stories today is just incredibly different from how they were approached even 50 years ago, even in the same language and the same country. Think Judy Blume or The Dark is Rising vs Diary of a Wimpy Kid or Percy Jackson. And I’m fascinated by those changes, and by the effects of culture and bias on translations (I am extremely hyped to read Emily Wilson’s Odyssey translation, for example), so I tend to approach them as puzzles, where I’m reading the work, but also looking for clues that will tell me more about both the translator and the author to hang in balance. I enjoy that part, and I enjoy figuring out aspects of the two languages that can contribute to how a translation evolves.

I’m a language and literature nerd, and I know not everyone is going to take the approach I do. I’m not going to fault anyone for saying they don’t enjoy or can’t get into a translation. That’s a perfectly valid opinion. Reducing a work to its translation and judging it only on that impression of it, however, seems pretty shortsighted to me. Here are some things that I think are important to keep in mind when reading a Chinese work in translation, just based on my own extremely limited knowledge:

1. In Chinese storytelling it’s an established practice to reference idioms, poetry, folklore and historic events as a sort of shorthand for evoking the proper tone. Chinese writing tends to be extremely allusive, and much more understated than what we’re used to in English-language storytelling. We can see hints of this in some of the MDZS translator notes, and it’s likely that this difference feeds into a lot of dissatisfaction with the translation. Either the allusions are not translated in a way that adds meaning for an English-speaking reader, or the standards for detail are different. Indirectness and subtly are huge parts of Chinese literature, and so different words or scenes will have very different connotations for Chinese vs. English speaking audiences. And this isn’t even touching on the use of rhyme and rhythm in Chinese writing, which are all but impossible to translate a lot of the time, or the often extremely different approaches to “style” and “genre” between the languages (an interesting article on comparative literature is here at the University of Connecticut website). Given this knowledge, it’s entirely possible that, for example, the smut scenes are more effective in Chinese than in the English translation. In fact, I find it difficult to believe it would be popular enough to get multiple adaptations and a professional publishing run if they weren’t. In translation, smut is a lot like humor: every culture approaches it a little differently. Unless a translator is familiar with both writing traditions and the relevant genres (or they have editors or sensitivity readers who can offer advice), something is going to get lost in the process. And sometimes that something is what at least one of the involved cultures would consider to be the most important part. It’s unfortunate, but it happens.

2. Chinese grammar is slightly different from English grammar (and I’m focusing on Mandarin as the common written language here. For anyone interested, a very basic rundown of major differences is available here). Verb tenses and concepts of time work differently. Emphasis is marked differently – in English we tend to put the most importance on the start of a sentence, while in Chinese it’s often at the end. Sentences are also often shorter in Chinese than in English, and English tends to get more specific in our longer sentences. From what I understand, it’s also a little more acceptable to just drop subjects out of a sentence, and that is more likely to happen if someone is attempting to be succinct. I’ve been told that it’s especially common in contentious situations, as part of an effort to distill objections or arguments down to an essential meaning (if I’m wrong about this or there’s more nuance to it, I’m happy to learn more). As one example of how this affects translation, let’s take that and look at Lan Wangji’s dialogue. I’m willing to bet that most of his words are direct translations, or as direct as the translator could manage. But his words don’t work the same way in English that they do in Chinese. If you continuously drop subjects and articles (Chinese doesn’t have articles) out of a character’s speech in English, they start to sound like they have issues articulating themselves, and I see that idea reflected in fic a lot. The idea that Lan Wangji just isn’t comfortable talking or can’t say the words he means is all over the place, but I don’t think the audience was intended to take away the idea that Lan Wangji speaks quite as stiltedly as he comes off in the English translation. He’s terse, yes. But I at least got the impression that it’s more about choosing when and how to speak for the best effectiveness than anything else, because so many of his actual observations are quite insightful and pointed, or fit just fine syntactically within the conversation he’s part of.

3. Chinese is both more metaphorical and more concrete than English in some ways. In English we use a lot of abstract words to represent complex ideas, and you just have to learn what they mean. In Chinese, the overlap of language and philosophy in the culture results in four-character phrases of what English would generally call idioms. Some examples I found: “perfect harmony” (水乳交融) can be literally translated as “mixing well like milk and water” and “eagerly” (如饥似渴) is read as “like hunger and thirst.” If these set phrases are translated to single word concepts in English, we can lose the entire tone of a sentence and it’ll feel much more flat and... basic, or uninspired. The English reader will be left wondering where the detailed descriptive phrase is that adds emotion and connotation to a sentence, when in the actual Chinese those things were already implied.

As translations go, MDZS in particular is an incredibly frustrating mixed bag for me, partially because of the non-professional fan translation, and partially because my knowledge of Chinese literature and especially Cultivation novels is so minimal as to be nearly non-existent. But I have enough exposure to translations in general and Chinese language and literature in particular that I could tell there were things I was missing. The framework of the plot and scenes was too complete for me to ever be able to say that any particular frustration I had was due to the author, not the translator. There’s a big grey area in there that’s difficult to navigate without knowing both languages and the norms of the genre extremely well. At one point I was actually able to find multiple translation for a few of the chapters and I loved that. It was really cool to see what changed, and what remained essentially the same, and I was actually really surprised to find that rant you mention, because to me, more translations is always better. I think it was probably about wanting to corral an audience, and possibly also about reducing arguments from the audience about whether a translation was “wrong” or “right.” And that is an issue that’s going to crop up more in online spaces than it has traditionally. Professional translators don’t have to potentially argue with every single reader about their word choice. But then, professional translators also tend to have a better grasp of both the cultures they’re working with as well, and be writers of some variety in their own right, and while I can’t know how fluent (linguistically or culturally) the ExR translator was at the time, the translator’s notes lead me to believe that at minimum their understanding of figurative language use was incomplete. So I can’t fault people for not enjoying the translated novel as much as CQL, for example, because it can be quite choppy and much of the English wording feels like a sketch of a scene rather than something fleshed out fully, but I don’t think it’s fair to apply that impression to MXTX herself or the novel as a whole in Chinese.

More about ExR: I also got the sense that they have a strong bl and yaoi bias as you mentioned, mostly from the translator’s notes. And in general, okay, that’s fine, they’re working with a particular market of fans and I’m just not as much a part of that market. I knew going in that I wasn’t the target audience. I’m okay with that. What I was less okay with was getting to the end and reading the actual author’s notes in translation and finding that the author herself expressed a much more nuanced, considerate, and balanced approach to the story and her writing process than I had been led to believe by the translation and the translator’s notes. And so when people want to criticize the author for things that happen in the translation…. I just think it’s very important to remember that the translator is also a factor, as is the influence of the cultivation genre, and the nature of web novels, and the original intended audience. As you said, white western LGBT people were never the intended recipients of this work. It comes from a totally different context. But I think it’s also important to remember that, again as you noted, it wasn’t first written as a professional work. It was literally a daily-updated webnovel, which works a lot more like a fanfic than a book in terms of approach. And on top of that, it was the author’s second novel (if I’m reading things correctly) and one that they experimented with a lot of new elements in. Those elements earn a lot of forgiveness and benefit of a doubt from me.

About MXTX herself: Most of the posts or references to posts that I’ve seen that judge or dismiss her have to do with the stated sexuality of characters who are not Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. And it just kinda baffles me, because this is fandom. Most of us spend our time writing about characters who are stated to be straight all the time. Why is anyone getting up in arms about this? How can anyone in fandom just summarily dismiss an author for producing original work that centers around a gay relationship when that’s… literally what most of us write, to some extent or another? Again, I’m not saying there’s aren’t aspects that can be criticized in her stories, but the hypocrisy is kind of amazing. I think that fandom, as a culture overall, has issues with treating gay men and their relationships as toys rather than people, and individuals can address their own behavior on that as they learn and grow. That doesn’t mean that every work about gay men having sex is fetishistic, and honestly I’d say that the translator demonstrates more of that attitude than the actual story ever does. The smut is such an incredibly tiny part of the world, plots and character arcs in MDZS that it could be taken out without significantly changing the main narrative very easily. That’s… not fetishistic. That’s smut as part of an overarching romance plot.

Which leads me to the tropes discussion. Yes, obviously there are tropes in MDZS. There are tropes in every story. It’s not a failing, it’s part of writing. Are some of those tropes BL or Yaoi tropes? Sure. Wei Wuxian denying his own sexuality for much of the novel and his tendency toward submission and rape fantasy are some of the very first tropes mentioned in relation to the genre. That Wei Wuxian just sort of seamlessly moves from “pff, I’m NOT a cutsleeve, I’m just acting like one” to shouting “Lan Zhan, I really want you to fuck me” in front of friends, enemies and family without much of a process for dealing with the culture of homophobia around him also seems to be characteristic of the genre. But I think that’s about where it ends. You and @three--rings both made some good points about the nature of the actual relationship, which I agree with: There’s not much of a power play element, or an assigned gender roles element. They’re both virgins who only partially know what they’re doing from looking at illustrations of porn, and they do enthusiastically want to have sex with each other. They’re just bad at negotiating their kinks clearly and could use a decent sex ed manual. The trope I actually have the most issue with is the use of alcohol. I personally despise the trope of “I’ll get someone drunk on purpose for reasons that benefit me personally,” due to my own real life experiences. But it’s an exceedingly common trope in Western media (Idk about Chinese media, but my guess would be it exists there too), and it’s not exclusive to mlm smut scenarios. It’s pretty much everywhere. And, thankfully, Wei Wuxian does seem to eventually realize that he’s fucking things up by using it. That said, despite knowing what happens to him when he drinks, La Wangji keeps doing it. So they’re both contributing to that mess, no matter how much I dislike that it exists, and the narrative doesn’t actually condone it. No one says “Oh, Wei Wuxian, that’s such a good idea, that’s definitely something you should keep doing.” He is consistently warring with himself over it but unable to resist. It’s still dubcon and manipulation, and I certainly understand people not wanting to read it. I just also think that reducing the entire relationship down to “bad, terrible, fetishistic BL tropes” requires the reader to ignore large parts of the story and pretty evident intent on the parts of both the characters and the author.

On purity culture: Yeah, that’s obviously been cropping up all over the place the past several years (I have indeed been in marvel for ages :P). It does seem like there are places in fandom (to some degree any fandom), where “I don’t like how this idea was executed in this context” gets conflated with “This entire work is terrible,” which is a disservice to everyone involved. I agree that there are many things that can be legitimately criticized in MDZS, but I also just… really don’t understand where this attitude comes from that because something is not perfect, it’s trash. Wasn’t fandom essentially invented out of the desire to respond to canon? To make it more your own? Isn’t picking out the parts you like and ignoring the bits you don’t (or writing around the bits you hate until you can fit them in a shape you like better) pretty much what all fic is about? Aren’t those holes people are sticking their fingers into and complaining about opportunities for more fan content? But even more than “purity culture” I would term it “entitlement culture,” because a lot of it seems to be about the idea that media should fit into and support a certain set of beliefs at all times. A lot of fandoms are no longer an atmosphere of “I don’t like the way this is presented so I’m going to create my on version that works for me.” Instead there’s a growing element of “I don’t like the way this is presented so that means it’s wrong and bad and the original creator should admit that it’s wrong and bad and fix it to satisfy me.” And honestly? That’s just sad to me. More and more, we’re not having a conversation with canon, or even with each other. We’re not building what we want to see we’re just… tearing other people down. I really don’t understand what anyone finds fun in that, and I’m going to do my best to keep creating the things I actually do want to see instead.

#blah blah alex #this is about mdzs #and translation #and fandom #alcohol mention #dubcon mention

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micahcharlson · 4 years

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Is It Time to Rethink Swain's Sequels?

This post is in response to a guest post by Peter von Stackelberg on K.M. Weiland’s blog, and what he had to say about creating scene structure (An Intuitive 4-Step Process for Creating Vibrant Scene Structure), as well as the questions it raised for myself and others.

An understanding of Dwight V. Swain’s Scene and Sequel technique is necessary for every writer hoping for success, but if you’re unfamiliar with it then reading Katie’s excellent series on How to Structure Scenes in Your Story should get you up to speed.

When relying on comments left on Weiland’s blog, I’ll give credit to the commenter and note the time/date of their comment.

To begin…

My Initial Thoughts

Here are my initial thoughts before reading any of the comments readers left. That is, my initial thoughts based solely on von Stackelberg’s post.

I believe before implementing von Stackelberg’s four questions under “Scene Structure as a Writing Template”, writers must understand the character’s scene goal.

The resulting merging of the steps looks like this:

Step 1: Identify the POV character’s immediate goal for this new Scene.

Step 2: Determine what the Scene’s Peak action is.

Step 3: Identify what set into motion the Peak action? What is the Initiate element?

Step 4: What is the result of the Peak action? What is the Release?

Step 5: Where did this all happen? When? Who was involved? This is the Establish element.

Step 6: Fill in Orienting information about the setting, timing, or context of the scene which will help the reader understand the where, when, and who of the scene.

Step 7: Fill in additional Details about character’s, settings, or significant objects in the Initiate (or, sparingly, the Release) elements.

Step 9: Write the Sequel (Reaction, Dilemma, Decision) as normal, creating the character’s goal for the next scene.

My Subsequent Thoughts (During/After Reading Comments)

Reading through all the comments forced me to reconsider some of what I earlier determined to be true.

In these comments below, any italicized text indicates points I found to be of particular interest.

Based on this comment from Peter Moore (JULY 13, 2020 AT 12:52 PM):

Great post. Thanks for having Peter as a guest. The more us newbies learn about the craft, the better. I have a question though. How do scenes that end with heightened tension fit into this scene structure? For example, chapter ending scenes in action/detective/sci fi/fantasy movies and books where characters are wounded, the scene fades and we don’t know if he/she lives or dies. I’m thinking of Peter Jackson’s movie adaptation of The Return of the King where Frodo is stung by Shelob. He immediately sends us to scenes with other characters. Tolkien handles it more like Peter states, even placing it as one of the last scenes of The Two Tower, and ending the book with ‘Frodo was alive but taken by the Enemy.’

I’ve seen a lot of posts that advise increasing the tension at the end of each chapter as a page turner device instead of releasing the tension. Is that one of the ‘except when it doesn’t’ things that Peter says at the beginning of the post, or am I misunderstanding something?

And this response from pvonstackelberg (JULY 13, 2020 AT 1:58 PM):

In my opinion, the use of cliffhangers needs to be approached with great caution. As a reader or viewer, I absolutely HATE obvious cliffhangers that appear manipulative and intended solely to get me to move on to the next chapter/episode. An example of this kind of thing is when the shot is fired…and then nothing…there is no Release.

From the story flow perspective, this kind of cliffhanger is very disruptive for a couple of reasons:

1) It leaves readers hanging without any sort of resolution to what happened in the scene

2) It disrupts the flow of the story because you then need to have the Release at the beginning of the next chapter/scene or, if there are intervening chapters/scenes, at the beginning of the scene where you return to the part of the storyline where you left off with the cliffhanger. The research (and I tend to be a believer in research) tells us that the sequence of Establish > Initiate > Peak > Release is important for readers/viewers understanding of what happens in a scene.

As a writer, I want my scenes to end in a way that prompts readers to move on to the next chapter.

For example, your protagonist has achieved (or not achieved) his/her scene goals but…is now in deeper doo-doo because…

This raising and releasing of dramatic tension is a real challenge to pull off. Once you master it, however, you are well on your way to writing some real page-turners.

And this response from Elizabeth L Richards (JULY 22, 2020 AT 11:07 PM):

Your comment about not liking cliffhangers resonated with me. Giving the reader more information to ratchet up the tension is so much more difficult but also more organic/less contrived.

Thinking about why cliffhangers are not fun, I realised that a cliffhanger requires me as the reader to devote part of my attention to maintaining the unresolved scene. Which leaves less of my attention to focus on the next part of the story. And given that humans have limited ability to hold multiple concepts in working memory (4-7 depending on what you read), you are actually Distracting your reader from the next scene. With less attention To focus, they are less invested. And so they wander off – maybe to jump ahead and see how the dangling bit gets resolved or to do something else that caught their limited attention.

I think it’s like going into a restaurant that smells really good, reading a compelling menu, oRedoing something that sounds great…and then waiting too long for the entree to be delivered. Waiting doesn’t increase my pleasure, And it doesn’t make me want to come back.

Based on this comment from Jennifer Bobrowicz (JULY 14, 2020 AT 9:40 AM):

Your article helps me better understand how to keep my scenes focused while including important details. This is my first attempt at a novel, so my learning curve has been steep. In a nutshell, the scene’s Peak drives the writing of that scene.

Thanks for this article. This website has been so helpful to me and given me a boost of confidence to begin. Hopefully, this makes sense.

And this partial response from pvonstackelberg ( JULY 14, 2020 AT 1:51 PM):

…

I’ll admit this twists my thinking a bit.

To explain, I’ll use the following definitions of Scenes and Sequels as I’ve always understood them:

Now, before I make my controversial suggestion here, let it be known that I still believe Dwight Swain was a genius and I’ll highly revere all that he’s taught all of us. That said, if a Sequel is simply another type of Scene, and should be developed no differently than a Scene employing the overlying mesh of E.I.P.R., then perhaps it’s time to scrap the idea of a Sequel completely. Because, in reality, a Sequel could also be viewed as having these parts:

Goal (react to the Scene’s Disaster and determine the next course of action—i.e., the next Scene’s Goal)

Conflict (struggle within—i.e., an internal conflict—with the pros and cons alternative courses of action and the consequences of each; literally, a Dilemma)

Outcome (whereby a decision is reached and the next Scene’s Goal is established)

So, it might be helpful (to some of us) to forgo any thought of writing Sequels altogether, and instead think of writing internal Scenes in their place.

Probably the same end result, but the change in our own internal thought processes might point our minds in different directions, and unlock other possibilities for our stories.

Another possibility is when, while reviewing previous work writing in the Scene/Sequel format, making the attempt at looking at these Sequels through this different lens.

So, finally, bringing all this back to von Stackelberg and this excellent post, each scene—Scene or Sequel—will end with a Outcome, which will require the Release element be incorporated into the Scene (external/“Scene”, or internal/“Sequel”.) Deleting Step 9 from the merging that resulted, the steps look like this:

Step 1: Identify the character’s immediate goal for this new Scene

External: What action has the character decided upon after the last internal scene.

Internal: How did the previous scenes Outcome affect the character as he or she begins to come to a decision what to do next?

Step 2: Determine what the Scene’s Peak action is.

Step 3: Identify what set into motion the Peak action? What is the Initiate element?

Step 4: What is the result of the Peak action? What is the Release?

Step 5: Where did this all happen? When? Who was involved? This is the Establish element.

Step 6: Fill in Orienting information about the setting, timing, or context of the scene which will help the reader understand the where, when, and who of the scene.

Step 7: Fill in additional Details about character’s, settings, or significant objects in the Initiate (or, sparingly, the Release) elements.

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mtlreviews2020 · 4 years

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A piece-piece nyana review to J Bob’s Kool Hip Hop Theatre. By Rethabile Headbush

Jeff Tshabalala, better known as J Bobs is the Standard Bank Young Artist Award winner for Theatre and Seen Pha is a fresh salad of poetry, hip-hop, comedy and traditional dramatic arts. There is Simphiwe Bonongo’s unreal beatboxing, a random hip-hop “holla” here and there, KWASHA in “communicating” hip hop combos and J Bobs at the centre of it. Seen Pha is fun, it’s flavourful and is an experiment of where J Bobs is taking sketch work next.

Chapter 6’s The Darkie Author is a reading, and discussion in response to Chapter’s 3’s The Money. The Whites. The Reviews. as Tshabalala puts it, “to talk about our problems on our terms”. The Darkie Author deals with issues in South Africa’s creative arts industry specifically the typecasting of black characters in White headed film, TV and theatre. It is also an insight into the direction he would like to take his work: taking the traditional theatre and “boom bap it – I’m gonna swag it up a little bit” as he puts it, make it interesting, cool and happening, evident in his hip hop inspired poetic pieces.

Chapter 10: Catchy Sing along 1 is an example of this. Tshabalala parodies your gold- chain-wearing, narcissistic wannabe rapper, aspiring for fame – J Bhoboza who is presented to us, arms flailing, shades wearing, guarded by his almost but not so quite two-man entourage/bodyguards in Chapter 10. The songs are truly catchy – so catchy his bodyguards can’t help but join. This piece is an intro to J Bhoboza, the woman loving (or stealing), artist vying for fame and not so concerned with the real issues of our reality. He makes this clear in a line where he raps “You won’t catch me reading and my subject matter’s weak. You’ll never hear me reading or in a scuffed sneak”.

Chapter 10 is as funny as it is catchy, poking fun at your rapper, more concerned with image and stardom than current affairs and we see it continue into J Bhoboza’s Chapter 13: La Khot del Swag. Chapter 11’s Catchy Sing Along 2 features Deevision (KWASHA’s Dinsthitile Mashile). Here, Deevision raps her own swaggerific interpretation of claim to fame, focusing on the dilemma of choosing between studying and stardom which often feel separate. She shares in her line “I don’t wanna train – I was born a star”. In it, we see continued the parodical theme established throughout J Bhoboza’s pieces and songs.

Chapter 15 is the Ubhoboza Podcast (towards Mzansi Hip Hop theatre) presented by J Bobs himself as a 50-minute podcast, breaking down the ideas and inspiration behind the varying skits and sketches. He introduces Location, Lekayshini, Lokasie, a game show exploring modern vernacular language in South African townships or Kasi taal. It is evident that it inspires much of his writing style, as he draws on contemporary South African issues in his work. The podcast also includes the story and inspiration behind the character and persona, J Bhoboza inspired by the rap cyphering culture and rap style of Black cyphers in suburban Johannesburg.

The J Bhoboza rap features the two UBDope Bursary recipients, Sydney Ndhlovu and Tshepo Matlala who play J Bhoboza’s body guards. We also see them in conversation with J Bobs, discussing his writings The darkie Author and To Wits or to Vurtz?. Tshabalala briefly breaks down the methods he uses in his sketches and the way he used rhymes to address real and pertinent social issues in a playful, engaging, and entertaining framework. Chapter 9: To Wits or to Vurtz does the same, by introducing his personal experiences which led him to the piece-piece nyana skits and songs we see in Seen Pha. Here, he also reflects on his personal experiences and finding Black voices that inspire his work.

Chapter 5, 7 and 8 are songs ranging between rap and poetry from the Market Theatre’s KWASHA who are either responding or adding their own twists – as seen in Chapter 4’s Side Chick Makhwapeni performed by J Bhoboza. The J Bhoboza rap skit parodies issues of infidelity “side chick” relationships in our society. The songs range between 1 and 4 minutes and are produced by Nkululeko “Muchacho” Nkosi. Chapter 14’s Bheja S’jole, featuring Moose Goose and All Hit Wonder, is a song illustrating relationships revolving around the exchange between sexual favours and money – a theme shared with the Side Chick/Dick Makhwapeni songs. Chapter 12: These broken feelings, sung again by Moose Goose and All Hit Wonder, also features the talents of Mosie Mamaregane and Wonder Ndlovu of KWASHA. It is a one minute melodic interlude responding to and closing the Makhwapeni raps and songs. The two KWASHA members flaunt their vocal range in this chapter. KWASHA transform into various roles in Chapter 17: Location. Lekeyshini. Lokasie., poets, rappers and collaborative artists in various versions and adaptations of Tshabalala’s works, contributing their own verses and perspectives in response to J Bhoboza’s Makhwapeni raps with just as much swagger, energy, and flair as Bhoboza himself.

The L.L.L game show is introduced with a musical mix of song and rap sung by KWASHA and vocal special effects by Beats eMlonyeni (Bonongo). A few of the songs like, “bheja s’jole” and “bimba for you” are familiar to the viewers by this chapter of Seen Pha. Just like the songs, the game show is led by J Bobs. Location. Lekeyshini. Lokasie. brings relatability, play and engagement into live performance. Tshabalala experiments with another kind of “play” to motivate his inquest into finding new ways of presenting and sharing theatre. The games played in the show create awareness and celebrate the uniqueness of township modern vernacular (demotic) languages or Kasi Taal, usually characterised by the adoption of numbers or words from colonial South African languages – like English or Afrikaans – and used with very different meaning and context, amongst other traits. The Translation and Decode English games illustrate this well with examples like “nine nine”, “nerves” and “tiger” which can be generally translated to “on point”, “stress” and “ten Rands” respectively, as illustrated in the show. Overall, this game ties in well with Chapter 18: Victor and the Vernacs to Mogodu or to Haggis that is the Conundrum, which uses modern vernacular language and politics around naming and renaming in South Africa.

Chapter 18 takes place at a Monday meeting between writers for the writing of The Darkie Author, a story written by J Bob. This pieces is read by the KWAHSA members and explores issues around the making of Black characters in White headed writing teams in South Africa. It highlights how White ignorance towards the Black South African experience influences problems such as typecasting- directly addressed in The Darkie Author. It poses the question of how problematic such structures can be in limiting the representation of Black characters in the industry and continues into another reading in Chapter 19: Victor and the Vernacs (Kale Tuesday). The reading is presented simply, we see KWASHA seated on high chair and Tshabalala at a desk between them introducing the piece, his signature pink suitcase in the background.

With Victor and the Vernacs, Tshabalala, the language and word-play wizard, uses his writing to bring colour to the members of this writing team especially seen through character, Victor. Victor’s expertise in his position as head writer is just as questionable as how he landed the job in the first place. Victor, played by KWASHA’s Joel Leonard, spends most of the brainstorming meeting being racially inappropriate and objectifying the women of the team. We see this in one line where Victor comments, “You okes like to think that everything is a mix-tape – my people say Pretoria, you lot tune Tshwane. My people say Grahamstown, your lot tune your khandas together and come up with Makhanda”, illustrating both Tshabalala’s strong and consistent theme in the political and social context of South Africa and his lovely play with words like “khanda” and “Makhanda”.

Seen Pha is an experimental mix masala of Tshabalala’s work made specifically for the vNAF stage. Tshabalala gave us a piece-piece nyana of everything, sharing his range as a creative, theatre maker and sketcher. Though numbered, the chapters do not follow an order and often jumps between different skits, songs, readings, and discussion. The way Seen Pha has been curated is to provide, what seems to be, musical breaks between text-heavy pieces, creating a satisfying and engaging rhythm for the audience. I thoroughly enjoyed the entertainment of the wordplay and relevance of both Victor and the Vernacs readings, the musicality and vocals of the Side Chick Makhwapeni 2 and 3 versions, the Ubhoboza podcast for its insight into Tshabalala’s process and The Darkie Author’s response to relevant questions around the structure and politics of South Africa’s creative industry. I am most interested to see all his experimentation and sketches establish themselves into physical pieces and see his idea of Hip-Hop Theatre come into a live stage realisation. You can find Seen Pha kwa J. Bobs anytime on the National Arts Festival website. Since the extension of certain vNAF programs, all 20 chapters are still open to watch at any time, on any day, for free until the 31st of August. Be sure to catch it when your data and Wi-fi bundles agree and pick your favorite piece-piece nyana combos.

#theatre jbobs review vnaf

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spanking360 · 4 years

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16ruedelaverrerie · 5 years

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SOUND THE HORNS, RAISE THE ALARMS, it’s time for THE WAR ON STARK PROPAGANDA haha that’s a severe way of putting it, “Stark propaganda.” But it really is a case of emotional allegiances affecting the interpretation of narrative events; the first trouble is that the audience loves the Starks too much, and that Theon loves the Starks too much (for a given value of “love”).

It’s not like the show never points out that Theon’s position in Winterfell is one of hostage! But the centrality of the Starks to the show makes it really difficult to look at things through anything other than Stark-tinted glasses-- and because the show primes the audience to think of the Starks as generally good and noble and kind, it’s not easy to see that even those who are good and noble and kind are perfectly capable of inflicting harm on others. Just because Ned Stark seems like a really nice dude doesn’t mean he won’t take a child hostage. In fact, it is absolutely because Ned Stark is a... nice dude... that he takes a child hostage; this is a kind of niceness that has very strict limits on what kinds of mercy are allowed and when. Taking Theon hostage means that the Greyjoys can be kept in check instead of being eradicated off the face of the planet, but just because that minimizes overall bloodshed doesn’t mean that Theon can’t be rendered precarious and miserable by it.

Also, it’s extra hard to remember that Theon doesn’t need redemption when Theon himself is constantly looking for redemption. Even though the only real human connection he has with the Starks is through Robb, Theon does DESPERATELY want to belong to the family that he’s grown up in. So, you know, I get it! I understand why a lot of people would watch the show and think that Theon’s betrayal of Robb’s trust is tantamount to turning on one’s own family! That his taking of Winterfell is some sort of INTERNECINE CATASTROPHE!

But that’s a conclusion that comes from adopting the show’s viewpoint as your own. Again, I get it. When a text wants something, it tries to make you want it too. My concern is that reading against the text is a skill that we're not really given the chance to learn very well or practice very often, but that it’s such an important skill to have in order to be thoughtful, critical interlocutors of both fictional and nonfictional materials. Saying that Theon needs redemption is to take for granted a lot of assumptions that undergird GoT’s diegetic worldviews (some of which are also ASoIaF’s); that the Starks are “good,” that family must come first, that one has to pay for one’s wrongs with suffering and death. But none of these are inviolable truths! The Starks are just people, a family is nothing but a socially constructed unit, and punishment is not the only possible response to a misdeed.

The last point, especially. In a Renaissance revenge tragedy, things don’t end when vengeance has been served and everyone is satisfied with the state of affairs. They end because vengeance has snowballed freakishly out of control and there is no longer anyone left alive to pursue vengeance or be avenged upon. Suffering can never adequately pay for suffering. How the heck does Theon lying dead in the Godswood do anything to unstage the Red Wedding? What does Theon being flayed in the Dreadfort do to unkill the miller’s boys? To think of Theon’s story as a redemption arc is also to place his torture and abuse within that framework, and the rhetoric of “he got what he deserved” presupposes a moral economy that operates on the principle that punitive measures are necessary to right a wrong. But suffering can never adequately pay for suffering. I read the Reek section of Theon’s story as being in large part about the inherent failure of this sort of punitive moral economy; you may want to see someone punished, but the problem is that once you start punishing them, there’s no clear point at which to stop.

What’s so vile is that setting up Theon’s story as a redemption arc also made a lot of people react to trauma with a fantastic lack of compassion! This is why Peter Sagal can call late-season Theon a loser, and why a major-outlet thinkpiece can state with confidence that no one stans Theon. In a redemption arc, you serve your time and you stand back up and you finally do good; Theon’s inability to rise to the occasion in the aftermath of Ramsay was therefore a source of frustration for people who were expecting a glorious moment of redemption for Theon. Under this framework, his failure to fight Euron was a failure to seize that redemption when it was offered to him.

But why is violence the only way to answer violence? Why can’t Theon respond to his own wartime deeds in some other way that doesn’t involve more war? When I said that I wanted Theon to have a fleece blanket and a bowl of soup, it wasn’t that I wanted him to withdraw from the story or to cede control to Euron. It was that GoT has never been interested in imagining a truly viable alternative space to the theater of war, and I wanted to see what it would look like to turn some swords to goddamn plowshares without waiting for the current war to run its course. When I say this, people keep telling me that the world of GoT is a harsh one and the only way to survive is to fight. But literally there is nothing to stop anyone from imagining otherwise! That’s what fiction is-- the act of imagining otherwise. But all GoT wants to do is imagine the same thing over and over again; Sam wants to fight, little girls want to fight, everyone wants to fight because D&D have created a world in which there is nothing outside of fighting. Sansa tells the Hound her suffering did her good because she now knows how to fight better (not physically, but more shrewdly; more mistrustfully). Theon is worthless until he fights again-- and eventually dies fighting, because having regained that violent worth, his arc is ended and he is no longer needed for any further violent purpose.

I’m not a very good watcher of the show. I don’t think I ever cared who sat on the Iron Throne, I don’t instinctively understand the desire not to be spoiled for plot developments, and I’m mostly skeptical of spectacle. It’s probably the case that I’m not the person all this was meant for! So my opinion counts for very little... but here is the opinion that counts for so little, @hurlumerlu. These are my tangled feelings. There is also a side branch argument about how I find the redemption arc to be uninteresting as a narrative shape because it is too neat, but that’s a different aesthetic argument for another time.

Oh my god I’m sorry @we-return-in-waves, just to get here you had to scroll past ten thousand lines of me wishing that someone would establish a women’s shelter in Westeros or something kl;dkhglk actually I’m sorry to @hurlumerlu as well, in fact I’m sorry to everyone for making the previous answer part of an askbox post and not its own separate entry. But I DON’T KNOW, I JUST STARTED DOING IT AND THEN I REALIZED THAT MY ANSWER WAS TOO LONG BUT BY THEN IT WAS TOO LATE AND ALSO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?? ME TYPING TOO MUCH = A PROBLEM THAT RECURS IN EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE EXCEPT FOR IN MY SCHOOLWORK, UNFORTUNATELY ENOUGH

Which is a segue back to your message. You are truly an infinitely better human being than I, firstly because you are generous enough to derive enjoyment from my shitty DBH posts; but secondly because you are disciplined enough to use fandom as a motivation! If I were you, I would just end up staring at a blank Word document for two hours, thinking but what if Gavin wins a Grand Prix and instead of celebrating like a normal person he just breathlessly yells NINES, MEET ME IN THE BACK into the interviewer’s microphone before flipping off the entire crowd and walking backwards offstage

Fandom hinders me from getting schoolwork done and schoolwork hinders me from getting fandom stuff done. It is a vicious cycle of no great consequence but I am despondent over it anyway. Thank you very much for dropping me this note, @we-return-in-waves! I do it all for you.

No bruh you. What?

#askbox #game of thrones #asoiaf #theon greyjoy #detroit become human #gavin reed #rk900 #reed900

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sammoukhaiber · 4 years

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Lead Getting Device Captures & & streamlines structure listings so you can concentrate on even more enjoyable points (like making sales!). Sales Closing Automation Send out demands to individuals that subscribe to leave evaluations, including valueable social evidence. Therefore A LOT MORE making this a special as well as rejuvenating development in making even more sales online. New, fresh as well as CURRENTLY! Boosting Sales Is Easy As 1, 2, 3! Transforming your web pages right into conversion makers. #Step 1: Trigger.

Develop larger listings quickly. Functions effortlessly with all significant automobile -responder plus Zapier links for lower recognized systems. #Step 2: Customise. Immediately involve your customer's target market with an unique sale, voucher, included item as well as confirmed client sales evidence. #Step 3: Automate. Link to Shopify, JVZoo or any type of various other solution & & screen genuine item evaluations as well as targeted evidence, as they occur.

Booster Kind # 1: Evidence. When you think about social evidence widgets, this is one of the most typical kind you will certainly see on much of the high web traffic web sites, like Amazon.com and even lots of prominent JVZoo items.

You will certainly see a computer animated pop-up, showing the information of a confirmed client or individual that has actually signed up. What is a little much less typical, that you will certainly currently have the ability to do – – is to show evaluations, randomising in between celebrity scores or composed testimonies – – and even video clip testimonies taped straight in the individual's web browser. Booster Kind # 2: Leads.

The cash is as well as constantly will certainly remain in the listing. With Funnel Base you can put sensational optin types in your widget, produced to match your website. You can also include countdown timers for additional seriousness, or if you want to develop a listing of smart phone numbers you can do that as well, which is excellent for off-line customers as well as regional services.

Booster Kind # 3: Retention.

Vidtoon Review | Massive bonuses Demo and tutorial

Channel Base assists obtain individuals to your web site as well as make them wish to remain there utilizing these extremely appealing retention devices. Establish a scrape & & win project that functions as an interactive sales booster, or timely individuals to share your web page with the social share choice. Or if you wish to obtain excellent outcomes, utilize the emoji comments or rating comments kinds.

Booster Kind # 4: Info. Desire a quick pop-up, motivating individuals to click & & act? After that this is for you! You can utilize these to promote an unique down tons, an associate promo or show a video clip as well. Or, if you require a cookie notice or to include some even more information to involve individuals at precisely the correct time… … after that you will certainly like our info choices.

vidtoon review|Large benefits Demonstration as well as guide

All items have upsells therefore does this one. However purchasing or otherwise, the option is eventually your own.

Clients get:. OTO2: VidToon Task Finder Software Application ($ 47 single). VidToon Task Finder device allows individuals to discover leading paying clients to offer 2D video clips, or any type of various other solution the client is offering or utilize Fiverr to develop an arbitrage service where clients can obtain high paying customer & & contract out the job. Unity resource code for VidToon to personalize as well as offer.

#Vidtoon Review #Vidtoon Bonus #Vidtoon Review & Bonuses

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simply-sylvia · 4 years

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Vidtoon Review

Vidtoon Review - DISCOUNT + HUGE BONUS + OTOS + DEMO

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When you purchase vidtoons, email me at: support @ bowesmarketingllc.com and provide your receipt and I will send you a link for the massive bonus of Video Traffic Viper. Visit this site to buy vidtoon. This will certainly make your video clip advertising blow up! It's a recognized truth that video clip is the # 1 taken in material online. So if you are not utilizing it in your advertising, you absolutely require to begin.

However the concern is, "what kind of video clip works when it pertains to video clip advertising precisely?" Simple.

Computer animated video clips. As well as this brand-new device can assist you make them quick! See, computer animated video clips integrate the audio & & aesthetic aspect with each other in a manner that take advantage of our creativity. As well as when that occurs, you marketing message will certainly be a lot more efficient. However likewise, if I am being sincere, producing computer animated video clips can take permanently.

You are taking care of personality development, personality computer animation, crucial frameworks, as well as an entire host of various other technology things that can stump also a few of one of the most talented technical individuals in the world! However that's not the situation with VidToon.

By utilizing VidToon, you can drain computer animated video clips quick for any type of advertising concept or projects you have.

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There are 25 computer animated personalities, 250 visuals aspects, 35 HD histories, shifts, message to speech choices, 200 nobility complimentary songs tracks as well as a lot more!

VidToon Review – Don't Buy Vid Toon Software Until You Read This!

vidtoon review + Benefit-- The Very Best Drag as well as Decrease Video Clip ...

Vidtoon Review & Bonuses - YouTube

Amazon.com Is HUGE! Client evaluations as well as enormous social evidence develop depend on (as well as web traffic). They are searching evaluations, client comments as well as celebrity scores to assist their costs options.

Trigger our social evidence components to snowball enrollments right into sales.

VidToon Review + Bonus – The Best Drag and Drop Video ...

Booster Kind # 1: Evidence. When you think about social evidence widgets, this is one of the most typical kind you will certainly see on a number of the high web traffic web sites, like Amazon.com and even lots of prominent JVZoo items.

The cash is as well as constantly will certainly remain in the listing. With Funnel Base you can put sensational optin types in your widget, produced to match your website. You can also include countdown timers for additional seriousness, or if you want to develop a listing of smart phone numbers you can do that as well, which is terrific for off-line customers as well as regional services.

Booster Kind # 3: Retention.

Vidtoon Review | Massive bonuses Demo and tutorial

Channel Base assists obtain individuals to your web site as well as make them wish to remain there utilizing these extremely appealing retention devices. Establish a scrape & & win project that functions as an interactive sales booster, or timely individuals to share your web page with the social share choice. Or if you wish to obtain terrific outcomes, utilize the emoji comments or rating comments kinds.

vidtoon review|Enormous benefits Demonstration as well as guide

All items have upsells therefore does this one. However purchasing or otherwise, the option is eventually your own.

#Vidtoon Review #Vidtoon Bonus #Vidtoon Review & Bonuses

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