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#I cannot be the first person to have thought of this right?
mariacallous · 2 days
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I plan on voting for Biden in November.  But it’s terrible.  A vote for him is still a vote that will not significantly improve our deepest and most troubling social problems.  He won’t give us Medicare for All or any other badly needed boosts to social programs.  He will probably continue to support policies that actively oppress BIPOC.  He will not help us.  He’s also a sexual predator.  Truly, I do not want to vote for this man.  This is not the man I wanted to vote for.  I don’t want him in office.  He is simply not good enough.  This man doesn’t represent what I want at all.
But if I don’t vote for Biden in November, I feel like I’m making it that much easier for Trump to win another election.  And I want that even less than I want a Biden presidency.  I don’t want another 4 years of what we have now.  No fucking way.  No.
I’m so conflicted.  I feel like there is blood on my hands.  I feel like I’m casting a vote for death and misery if I’m not voting for a progressive candidate with a progressive platform.  I feel like I’m committing nothing short of an atrocity no matter what I choose to do.  I don’t want to harm people, and yet, won’t I essentially be doing exactly that?  I just want to do the right thing.  I don’t want to bring harm, or perpetuate harm towards anyone.
Trump will probably win anyway.  He’s doing all he can to ensure that, and it will probably work.  The impending climate disaster will kill us all because we will clearly continue to do nothing.  Our bodies will be riddled with micro and nanoplastics.  America will become an even more of an inhospitable police state.
 Nobody will hold Biden accountable for anything if he wins, and he’ll never give us the public policies we desperately need. 
“Is this what hope feels like?  I’d forgotten,” you tweeted recently.  How?  And for what?  I see nothing but bad things to come.  I feel a deep sense of hopelessness and despair.
There are plenty of reasons to feel hopelessness and despair right now, but with regard to Joe Biden, you are wasting a whole bunch of negative emotions on a giant pile of shitty beliefs that just aren’t true.
First, and let me be very clear on this one, Joe Biden is not a sexual predator. He’s just not. Believe me, I would be shouting it from the rooftops if I thought he were. When Tara Reade went public, I took her allegations very seriously. I gave her extra helpings of the benefit of the doubt, but it turned out there was a mountain of evidence suggesting that Reade has always been a lying, manipulative grifter (which I didn’t want to be true), and there was another mountain of evidence suggesting that the predatory behavior alleged by Reade is simply not in Biden’s character (which I was very reluctant to trust). There was a time when I was hopeful that Reade’s accusations might even knock Biden out of the race, but I’m not the kind of person who believes a thing merely because I want it to be true. It’s fine if you want to criticize Biden for what appears to be a history of awkward or retrospectively inappropriate behavior. Hell, you can even buy into all that “Creepy Uncle Joe” bullshit, but you’re just plain wrong if you insist that Joe Biden is a sexual predator. (Obviously, the same cannot be said of Donald Trump, who is a straight-up serial rapist with a list of at least twenty-five women who have publicly and credibly accused him of sexual assault.)
As for your policy concerns, I understand your frustration. I would love to be voting for a far-left ultra-progressive firebrand of a candidate in the upcoming general election. That would feel wonderful, right up until the moment that she loses in a landslide, and I guarantee you, a far-left ultra-progressive candidate would get her ass handed to her by Trump. That’s not an outcome we can afford as a species, much less as a nation. You understand this, which is why you still plan on voting for Biden. Good. I’m really glad you’re not being a purist asshole about this. The evil garbage monsters in the GOP just love a left-wing purist who refuses to vote responsibly. Republicans are desperately praying to their imaginary white Jesus that all the Green Party crunch bars will fuck it up for the rest of us like they did back in 2016. We cannot let that happen again.
Listen, I’m not gonna try and convince you to like Joe Biden. You’re already gonna vote for him, so I’m perfectly fine if you hate his breathing guts. What I do want from you is a little maturity, some vision, and a realistic sense of scale. No one candidate will ever be the solution to our problems — not Bernie, not Liz, and certainly not Joe. At best, a candidate is a vector, a course correction, a desperately needed step in the right direction. That’s all we can expect from Biden, and he is bringing it. He’s bringing it every single day with a list of policy positions that are more progressive than any President’s in the history of the United States, and he most certainly brought it with the selection of Kamala Harris as his running mate.
Biden recognizes his place in history. He knows he is little more than a national stop-gap, a post-Trump tourniquet to stanch the bleeding. His Vice-Presidency and eventual Presidency will be a line of demarcation between two very distinct chapters of American history. This is more than just bridging the Boomer/Millennial generational divide. In the distant future (if we have one), it is my sincerest hope that Biden will be remembered as “The Last of the Old White Men,” a happy warrior who marked the end of a certain kind of Modern America and who helped usher in a new kind of Postmodern America. Those terms are clunky and loaded and absolutely will not stand the test of time, but we’re not the ones who get to name what we’re about to become. We’re the ones who have to keep doing the hard work to finally get us there, and that’s why I really need you to change your whole fucking attitude. 
This shit is going to be grueling. The fight will be brutal if not bloody, and there is absolutely no room for whiners and layabouts. You want to improve our deepest and most troubling social problems? Great. Quit moaning about doing harm with your vote and go do some actual good with your own two fucking hands. Pulling a lever in a voting booth every couple years is the bare minimum. In terms of civic duty, it is the absolute least you can do. Of course Biden won’t give us Medicare for All. Neither would Sanders or Warren. That’s not how any of this works. Presidents don’t give us shit. We do it ourselves. We demand it, loudly and with force, and over long stretches of time, with enough solidarity and sustained action, laws are enacted and policies change. 
I was around when the Clintons tried deadlifting their universal health care plan off the ground back in 1993. Maybe you remember it, maybe you weren’t even born yet, but that’s how long this shit takes. It’ll have been three fucking decades and two fucking generations of Democrats trying desperately to kick that gutbucket up Capitol Hill by the time we finally get around to some semblance of a single payer healthcare system. Thirty fucking years, my friend. That’s the kind of patience and perseverance the American experiment demands of us, so quit your fucking whining. Enough with all the pearl-clutching and hand-wringing. Take all your conflicted navel gazing bullshit and toughen the fuck up, buttercup.
You are on the right side of history. You are with the good guys. Quit your fucking bitching, and get out there and help us win.
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ethereallocs · 3 days
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Arrogance (Modern Au!)
(Daemon Targaryen x Fem Reader)
(Content/ Warning: 18 +, Age-gap, cheating, angst, swearing, violence, avoidance, p in v penetration, sexual innuendos, cat and mouse.)
(Summary: After finding out your boyfriend and best friend have been screwing behind your back you find comfort in the one person you cannot stand…there won’t be any sex in this chapter. But it’s coming…)
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Chapter One
Today was you and your boyfriend Aemond’s third anniversary. You enjoyed the three years you spent with him and even the thoughts of marriage and children bounced around your mind. Things weren’t perfect but beyond everything you were still “happy”. Today your best friend Alys was throwing a party in your honor. You were getting ready deciding on a dark green dress that hugged you just right and stopped just above you knees and two slits that came up either side. You looked amazing and you knew your man was going to love seeing you in it. You both showed up together looking like the perfect couple everything was going smoothly as everyone clapped or the both of you and your best friend was there to greet you. She gave you both a hug. “Oh my god’s y/n…you look amazing.” She gushed over you as she past you a drink.
The night was perfect and you and Aemond danced the night away along with a few of your other friends. You had a few drinks and the liquor was starting to set in when you notice your best friend and your boyfriend were no where to be found. You shrugged it off not thinking about it too much and then you realized you had to pee. Stumbling into the bathroom you heard a couple enjoying themselves in the stall next to yours and for a moment you cheered them on until you recognized the man’s voice that was echoing off the walls. You’re heart started to pound and your head was spinning so you leaned over to see the shoes that were planted on the floor it was Aemond’s dress shoes and Alys’s dress pooled on the floor. Being as drunk as you are you gasped and finally your presence was noticed. “Oh fuck…y/n..” Aemond said and you quickly got the fuck out of there. Running and sobbing Aemond was fixing himself tailing after you and so was Alys. Everyone saw it all and as you can suspect the party was over you were in your car too drunk to move it but you sobbed with your head pressed against the steering wheel. Aemond and Alys had been begging you to let them in so they could gaslight you into thinking you imagined what you heard and saw but after the first three attempts didn’t work they started going at each other yelling and cursing.
Your eyes were hot from all of the crying and your head pounded profusely from the pressure. You noticed that it finally got quiet they had decided to leave. “Thank the seven.” But you were yet again disturbed by a knock on your car window. This time it wasn’t Aemond or Alys it was his uncle Daemon. You were surprised to see him of all people at your car checking on you. He made it quite clear the first time he met you that he wasn’t too fond of you and after that you kept your distance. You let your window down a bit. “What do you want?” He wasn’t he usual arrogant self. His eyes were soft while he looked at you and finally he spoke. “Do you need a lift? You’re too drunk to drive.” You wanted him to say something snarky so you could come back with some witty comeback but he didn’t. “Yeah…I guess I do..” Stepping out you left the keys to Aemond’s porche inside it It didn’t matter at this point if someone stole it good for them you thought. “So where do you want to go?” He asked and you started to cry again realizing you couldn’t go back to the apartment you shared with Aemond and you could even go to your best friend’s place. “Hey hey…look you can come to my house I have a room you can sleep in yeah? Does that sound good?” You nodded still sniffling softly…, “Why are you helping me? I thought you didn’t like me..” He sighed and shrugged the question off, “Don’t worry about that right now. Let’s just get you somewhere warm.”
Pulling up to his house you had never seen it before but it was goregous…and of course it was he’s a Targaryen. He was holding your heels for you as you walked in and quickly led you to the room you’d be sleeping in. “There is a bathroom in this room if you wish to take a shower or bath.” His eyes were wandering a bit…You did look amazing in that dress… showing off just the right amount of skin… he shook himself from his thought. “If you need a change of clothes I can get you one of my shirts and some sweats.” You nodded softly and took down your hair. He left for a moment and came back in with your clothes for the night. “Daemon…can you help me unzip my dress?” He nodded and you could feel the warmth of his hands on your back. Slowly sliding down your spin as he unzipped the dress stopping just above your ass. He cleared his throat and left soon after. You took a quick shower washing away everything away. You cried in the shower and even in the bed not getting a wink of sleep. By the time you finally passed out Daemon was waking you up with breakfast. “Come on sunshine I’ve got pancakes waiting in the kitchen for you.” You were groggy and irritated; your head was stilling pounding as if someone was tap dancing on your head. Daemon smiled seeing you in your natural element passing you your plate. You weren’t in the mood to eat but he stared you down and didn’t touch his food until you took a few bites.
“Could you possibly find your own place in a few days? I’ll be happy to help you get your things today and you can keep them here until you do.” You sighed and took a sip of your coffee he had ready for you., “No…I just finished college…and needed to start looking for a job…Aemond handled everything.” He hummed drinking his coffee and finishing his plate. “Alright, well I needed a new assistant anyway so you will be working for me. You will atleast need a month to get on your feet and be on your way yes?” You were still very confused. “I mean thanks for the job but why are you helping me…remember you said you thought I was a cunt…” He chuckled remembering the day he met you. “Yes I did say that well honestly I thought if I had ran you off you would be saved from the cunt…my nephew that is.” You scoffed, “Don’t you think “he’s not a good guy” would’ve been more affective.”, he smiled, “Yeah you’re right…I just wanted to be a bit of a dick I guess. Well, the weekend is over so your first day is tomorrow. Let’s go ahead and get your stuff.”
It took about 30 minutes for the two of you to get to what was soon to be your old apartment. You were met at the entrance with all of your stuff on the sidewalk with a small note it saying trash…mostly everything you had of any value was ruined. Now this pissed Daemon off and he went up there to have a small chat with his darling nephew. You were still trying to pick through things and fighting back tears when Daemon pulled you back to the car. “Daemon…my stuff.” He groaned in a low tone, “I will get you new stuff don’t worry about it. I’m cooking dinner and we’re getting drunk tonight.” He knew this was what you needed after all this so he made a five star dinner for the two of you and paired it with some fancy red wine. “Listen y/n I know you and I aren’t the best of friends right now and I know you’re going through a lot so I’m trying to give you a helping hand. From what I understand you are a very self sufficient young woman. My brother was considering giving you a position with our company if you didn’t know so I’m making the call to put you on our team also because I know it’s going to pissed Aemond off to have to see flaunting in and out of my office every day. So do not disappoint me, understand?” You nodded and without another word you toasted to a wonderful working relationship together. The food was delicious you had no idea Daemon had so many hidden talents…interesting. After dinner Daemon offered to watch movies with you and obliged. The wine was flowing and he had made popcorn. You two were watching comedies to keep your spirits up and you ended up leaning on his shoulder which he moved away from but he ended up letting you nuzzle into him. He enjoyed this more than he’d like to admit but quickly his mind was taken from such a sentimental moment when your hand started to wander and it all seemed so innocent your hand was laying on his thigh then it eased up his chest. His breath hitched within his chest and he looked over at you only to see you looking right at him he chuckled nervously and moved your hand. “If I’m being honest y/n I’d enjoy fucking you into oblivion…but I uhhh…believe it or not I don’t like taking advantage of women especially you. Maybe we should go to bed we have a long day tomorrow with it being your first day and all.”, you sigh softly a bit hurt by the rejection but he wasn’t wrong you were very vulnerable right now and you appreciated his honesty nonetheless. The next day was the beginning of an interesting work life with Daemon. You were awakened by him he was acting as your own personal alarm. It was five in the fucking morning. “Why the fuck are we up so early the office doesn’t open until nine?”, He laughed placing her work clothes on the bed neatly. “Well, I usually go for a morning run before work so I figured you’d go with me to keep your mind off of that cunt of an ex boyfriend of yours. Especially since you will be seeing him a lot more these days.”, your groggy face twisted into a grimace. “I forgot he works in the family business fuck…me…great. I’m not going on a run today. I’ll be getting ready and I’ll make breakfast for you, deal?”, you held your hand out and he hadn’t experienced your cooking yet, but he figured what could it hurt so he shook on it.
You took a well needed shower did a simple make up look with lashes, lip liner, and lip gloss. You made bacon, eggs, and waffles for Daemon and decided to look at the outfit he had left out. A rather sexy secretary ensemble for you to wear a white button up with half sleeves, a tight pencil skirt, black panty hose, and black heels. You didn’t know what to do with your hair so you pinned it up. By the time you were ready Daemon had already arrived and was in the shower. While you waited at the door he approached you with his white tresses slicked back and a suite tailored just for him. You were taken aback at how well he cleaned up and he was speechless seeing how well everything fit on you. This was going to be harder than he thought., “You look nice.” He said rather plainly trying to hide what he was really thinking. You nodded in thanks and now you both were out the door getting into his car. The ride wasn’t very long but by the time you pulled up it was about eight-thirty. “Perfect timing. I can show you around and get you in the loop before we get busy.”, He spoke in an elated tone.
You had only been in this place once, you had forgotten just how humongous it was inside. It was as if you were seeing it all over again. Your new boss was showing you around giving you a quick tour of where to find the coffee maker, printers, bathrooms, and now his office. Your desk was right next to the entrance of his office and you placed down your things. “So y/n I know this is all new to you so I won’t be to harsh, but I will be stern and mistakes can be made but not too many will be tolerated, understand?” You nodded quickly and he sent you off to get coffee. The doors were open and everyone was rolling in. And of course the first person you see was a familiar one. Aemond but he had a black eye and a busted lip…was this the result of the conversation his uncle had with him. You were certain it was and while you waited to use the keurig Aemond finally noticed you. He was at a loss for words seeing you here and looking as good as you did. “Y/n what are you doing here?” You decided to ignore him as if he wasn’t even there. You made Daemon’s coffee and went back to your wing of the building and Aemond followed until he realized who you were working for. He was fuming when he stormed into his office. “Why the fuck is she here? I know you don’t care for me that much, but after what just happened you want her to work here.”, Daemon spoke it a rather conniving tone, “Your father, my brother planned on extending a job offer to her and you knew this already. So you think just because you fucked up by screwing her bestfriend that we were going to leave her assed out after all she’s had to deal with being with you? You are highly mistaken, Aemond. If this is all you came to speak to me about you can get back to work. I need my assistant in here to help me with a few things.” Aemond huffed in irritation and left to go speak to Viserys.
Daemon called you into his office and you quickly entered. “You alright?”, He asked and you sighed holding back tears. “Listen it will get easier don’t worry about that bastard. If anything seeing him squirm should be fun.”, You smiled. “You know I never thought of it that way.”
to be continued…
They make quite the conniving pair don’t they..?
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crimeronan · 1 day
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Camila horror thoughts. In the horrifically fraught family horrors sense of the term.
What if Vee has specifically warned Camila about Hunter, told her all about what he specifically has done in order to give her a heads up, in a way naturally coloured by the views she has (not unreasonably) built up around Hunter because of all the stuff she's done.
So naturally she's got this wariness of Hunter that does not compute when she sees how genuinely caring he is with Luz even if logically she knows people can act remarkably differently in different contexts and none of it negates all the stuff he did with The Basilisks for Belos. But Camila is still pretty sure that Luz doesn't know, and is terrified that if she knew it might destroy something that she is desperately reliant on, her relationship with Hunter. It probably wouldn't, Luz could probably live with that since well horrible nightmare trauma soulmates and by Luz's standards she's done just as bad in a similar context but Camila and Luz keeping secrets for almost the exact same reason (to protect the people they love from horrors they are too insane to be affected by) appeals to me.
But the problem now arises, Camila's told Luz that she has adopted another kid, and Luz in the spirit of trying her best to reach out does want to see Vee or have her visit with Camila next time she comes or something like that since like, thats a normal thing to do on reconnecting with your estranged mother and finding out you have an adopted sister you've never met.
Vee, bless is not going along with that "don't tell Luz how horrible Hunter is since she is hopelessly codependent on him" bullshit at all. Camila knows that, Vee knows that. Camila knows she cannot ethically or reasonably expect Vee to not spill all of Hunter's darkest secrets to Luz in an attempt to ruin his life since, y'know all the stuff he did to her specifically.
For Vee the nicest most compromise-y thing she can do, is just never meet Luz face to face, and thats only because of her respect for Camila. But there's no way Luz isn't going to to notice or be concerned about this so there's this constant ticking time bomb of "when am i gonna meet Vee' since "oh she's off at college" isn't gonna work forever.
god this is all so good. i've been thinking about it since you sent this ask a few hours ago now. bc like. god. there's So Much....
i think you're 100% right that vee would try to stay out of things. she's like mama respectfully i'm ready to meet her IF i'm allowed to scream a lot of pent-up utterly unhinged bullshit but otherwise i think it's best for me not to be involved.
and camila is SUCH a bad liar. if she tried to say that things were fine with vee, luz would clock that something was wrong immediately. she obviously wouldn't jump to "she's from the isles" when there are so many more obvious conclusions -- maybe vee is jealous of luz for being the first daughter camila loved, maybe she's angry at luz for running away, maybe she's sick of luz monopolizing camila's time now when vee is used to having their mom all to herself....
regardless of what luz thinks is most likely, she's definitely like. Ah. I Am Driving A Wedge Between Them. This Is My Fault. On A Personal Level. Somehow.
and then on camila's end, that's even true to a point.... bc vee is getting increasingly more upset by the idea of protecting luz's feelings. i can absolutely see a very tired vee finally having the stress get to her & snapping, "why do you think she'll CARE?? she isn't going to care. even if she's as nice a person as you think she is, it's not like i'm a human or a witch. i'm nothing. she doesn't know how to care about people like me"
...there is, of course, a delicious and vicious irony in that. like. luz Very Much Does Know how to care about someone who isn't a witch or a human.
Oh God.
and then whenever luz meets vee, when it all finally Does come out.... i feel like it would sort of be worse for vee than anything she'd actually braced for. because luz DOES immediately care, she does act like it matters, she immediately wants to know everything and fix everything and make it all better, she immediately takes on all of the responsibility for everything the empire's ever done, she's so sorry, she didn't know, she would have done something, she can do something now--
--and vee is like well. HE knew. and he sure didn't want to help me!! even though i asked him to!! even though he KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING TO ME THE ENTIRE TIME
hunter has wisely remained quiet because he doesn't think he can really defend himself here. and luz has this moment of uncertainty and confusion, and then she looks at hunter's face, and for a second vee thinks that he's just going to straight-up deny it, but he doesn't. and luz seems to understand that it's all true.
and she doesn't look angry. or even betrayed.
and then she's trying to tell vee that hunter was always in danger when they were growing up, that there must have been extenuating circumstances that made rescue impossible, that he would have helped her if he could, that luz KNOWS he would have because he wouldn't just leave vee to suffer for no reason, that's not the kind of person he is,
and hunter is the one to be like luz. stop. she doesn't need to hear that right now. she can hate me. it's fine.
so vee's opinions on luz are like. 1) i hate that you're so nice that i look insane for being angry with you 2) you're a spineless coward who can't hold anyone accountable 3) you've fooled camila into thinking you're some helpless delicate flower by pretending to be sad when you DON'T care 4) if hunter is going to agree with me about anything then i should legally get to shoot him. just like once. i've never touched a gun or had any inclination to do so before today But I Should Get To Shoot Him .
camila's role in mediating this has mainly been to gently steer the conversation into more productive territory when it looks like it might devolve into panic attacks or violence from anyone involved. she's so fucking stressed by trying to keep things from coming to blows that there's like. no Way that she could do a professional-level job of Family Therapy Mediator.
god.
much 2 consider.
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murfpersonalblog · 3 days
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IWTV S2 Ep3 - Random Musings (Spoilers)
This was the best S2 ep by far; they're just getting better & better. I have so much to say; I can't even keep up. This is just the random stuff I don't have AS MUCH to comment on (yet).
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AMC, we GOTTA get some flashbacks of Papa DPDL. We know so much about Les' folks, but nothing about Lou's pops. :(
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Not "Real Rashid" going bar for bar vs Sartre abt morality & evil!? 👏
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"Wolf Wrangler," I hate this effing show so much, please stop it.
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SANTIAGO BACKSTORY LFG; we're finally being fed!
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Ohhhhh.... Francis "Santiago" Naughton, I see~! They're definitely leaning into the Sant-"iago" of it all from Othello--nice touch!
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1921--Santiago's a BABY vampire. (And omg he loved Annika's "performance" so much that he incorporated it into his regular lineup! Sickos! XD) I saw the Siophmedia review call it the Mimic Gift, which I love--expanding the AR lore.
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Thoughts & prayers to this dude, being stuck for all eternity as an old man; relegated to backstage work with the noob stuck for all eternity as a little girl. (Hilarious how this is in blatant violation/disregard of Marius & Rhosh's Great Law #2 about beauty.)
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Vampires sneeze?! 😂 Estelle is the ONLY Theatre vamp I like, bless!
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ROTFLMFAO. Humor on this show comes from the WILDEST of places; I love it.
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Someone's saaaaaaltyyyyyy~! 👀👀👀👀
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Welp, now we know where Louis'll spend "ETERNITY IN A BOX," when they drag him in that burlap sack.
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Louis' a strong independent man don't need no coven! 😤👏 Especially not you WEIRDOS. Monsieur LDPDL would NEVER allow anyone to make him act like a clownish BUFFOON on some stage, or write/film creepshows everyone points and laughs at, are you crazy?
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Louis said SKILL ISSUE. 💀
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Don't act coy now! XD You go and OWN your bussypowers, Louis of Troy! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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I am STUNNED this trash liar won a Pulitzer for investigative journalism. Truly a dying industry.
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Armand, my love, you have no idea. 👀
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Deflection & misdirection, as usual with these vamps.
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SHADE.
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Roget the "FIRST" eh?... 🧛🏼 This completely removes Nicki as the founder of the Theatre, but I guess it makes sense that Armand would be the one communicating with Roget, cuz lord knows Nicki wasn't "fit to pick an apple off a tree in his current state...." 👀👐 Louis, Armand's fed you a crock of lies; don't be fooled by his pretty doe eyes! You were SET UP, my guy; he was SICK of that coven for hundreds of years; WAY b4 Lestat AND YOU showed up!
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Then he hangs Lestat's portrait on the wall as a shrine and says he's their co-founder, while breathing not a word about how Lestat gave the Theatre TO NICKI, NOT ARMAND. Where's Nicki at, Armand!? 👀👐 Where's Claudia at, Armand!? 👀☀️ Why do all of Lestat's fledglings go missing under YOUR supervision, Mr. I Could Not Prevent It? I swear, those 🥺👉👈 eyes are lethal weapons!
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STUNT QUEEN. Behind every gay man is a gayer, more evil man!
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And he took that PERSONALLY.
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Siri, google when butt-plugs were first invented.
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Armand's FACE! 😭 Yeah, Lou don't make a lick of sense sometimes. Thank god he's pretty! But for every ounce of pretty there's another TONNE of mental trauma. If I were Armand, I'd've cut my losses and left Lou's arse to "Bruce" right then & there. Now look at you!
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Incredible episode. 👏
Preview for Ep4:
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I hate it here. 😱
I'm sorry, but I simply CANNOT with Loumand, knowing what's coming. I never have, and at this rate I NEVER WILL! Armand, I don't care what weird dynamics you & Lou are always up to, but by putting your hands on MY daughter!? DISHONOR!
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Armand, Louis is right: you just earned yourself a spot on my hit list.
I'll rant about Loumand specifically in a separate post--this ep was A LOT, omg I'm exhausted.
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nucleo-bang-tan · 21 hours
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Grayscale Pt.2 | JJK
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Pairing/s: Jungkook X Reader
Genre: Cheating AU, highschool sweethearts, first love
Rating/s: No detailed explicit content, but wouldn't recommend it for minors.
Warning/s: SH!!, Major heartbreak (duh), Jungkook is literally a liar and a dirty, dirty cheat (not irl, he's an angel), mentions of sex with another woman, lmk if I'm forgetting anything.
A/N: Please leave comments, I would love to hear from you guys. Critique my writing and tell me if I'm doing anything wrong, really appreciate it.
Masterlist
Series Masterlist
Part 1, Part 2
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Gaeul never wanted this. She never wanted to feel like such a disappointment. But whenever she was with you, she felt like one.
Ever since she transferred to your school, she was no longer the center of attraction. You were so, so kind and so patient with everyone, even with her.
You had helped Gaeul with adjusting to her new school even when you barely knew her.
At her previous school, Gaeul was the top student, and top athlete. But when her father succumbed to his illnesses, she had no option but to move in with her uncle.
The change of pace affected her studies and performance a lot but Gaeul could always count on you to help her with anything.
She would never admit that to some extent, she was jealous of you. Jealous of the attention you received.
"Hey, umm... Gaeul, was it?" She was caught off guard by her crush, Jeon Jungkook.
She tried her best to act nonchalant. Maybe he was trying to finally ask her out.
She fiddled with the cuffs of her school uniform, "Yeah? What's up?"
The anticipation was building up in her belly, or was it just the butterflies he gave her?
"You're friends with Y/n, right?" The mention of your name almost made her lose her cool.
Ofcourse you two were friends, not close ones, but friends nevertheless.
"Y-yeah, what about it?" She tried to contain her distaste towards you. Yet again, you took the attention, but this time, from the person Gaeul wanted the most.
"Does she... she doesn't have a boyfriend, right? I'm asking for a friend." He said.
She sighed, "She doesn't. Her parents would never let her. They'd kill her."
Gaeul could see Jungkook's face light up.
He smiled, "So, it's her parents? She can't have a boyfriend because of her parents?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"So would you do me a favour?" Jungkook asked.
"Sure, what is it?" Maybe it was her only chance to get closer to Jungkook, she wasn't going to risk it.
"Bring her to the basketball game this evening. I- my friend will handle the rest."
Gaeul wasn't dumb, she knew this wasn't for his friend. But whatever, she thought, you were probably too stuck up to date someone like Jungkook anyway.
Jungkook was really easy-going and shy and always loved to beat your ass in a match.
You on the other hand loved confident guys and were competitive. It wasn't surprising to know that half the school had a crush on you and Jungkook was among them.
But there was no way you would like Jungkook, right? Right...?
Oh, Gaeul was so wrong. She realised it way too late when she saw you two kissing in the gymnasium.
So after she balled her eyes out for a day or two, she decided it's enough. She was tired of you being better than her.
"Gaeul!" You approached her and hugged her.
"Hey, Y/n." She feigned a smile.
"I cannot thank you enough. You unknowingly helped me and Jungkook a lot."
She realised that she could one-up you. You were hot, for sure. But Gaeul had experience, she could seduce Jungkook easily.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Would you stop? I'm not telling Y/n about this because you are her best friend. Think about her." Jungkook had pulled Gaeul aside. "Plus, don't you have a boyfriend? Second one this month?"
Your friend group was at a club celebrating your nineteenth birthday. You were finally legal and Jungkook decided he'd teach you a thing or two about drinking.
She put a hand on the man's chest and stepped closer, "They would never know. Plus, you have your needs. I'm sure you won't be satisfied by her."
"Shut up, Gaeul. Stop trying to make moves on me, it's not going to work." He walked back to the bar where you were getting a bit too tipsy.
Your best friend watched as he led you outside the club, probably to get you back to your shared apartment.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
But one faithful night for Gaeul, was when you were sick and she found Jungkook studying in the college library alone.
Jungkook didn't notice her until she sat beside him, her skimpy skirt riding up catching his eye.
He cleared his throat and whispered, "What do you want?"
She leaned forward and whispered back, "You know what I want." And placed a hand on his well-built thigh.
But surprisingly, he didn't react to her touch as usual—like it was poison.
He was extremely stressed due to his finals. You being sick didn't help.
"Why do you do this?" He asked eyeing her legs.
"Maybe because I can love you more than Y/n could ever dream of."
He raised his eyebrow, "Trust me, I don't even wanna know. I can't do this right now, just leave."
Her hand trailed up, "Maybe you could use a little stress relief?"
Jungkook tried to make sense of it all, why did he do it? He loved you more than anything, more than he could ever imagine loving anyone. Yet, he found himself buried inside some other girl.
When he returned home, he hoped you were asleep because he was sure he couldn't face you. But you weren't, you stayed up, waiting for him.
He cried in your arms, muttering around a hundred sorry's. He never said why he was apologising. But you kept saying you loved him through it all which made it worse for him.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Jungkook got up from her bed, finding his shirt, "We can't keep doing this, I-"
"You give in to me all the time, Jungkook. I'm starting to feel bad for Y/n." Gaeul passed him his underwear.
"You're literally the worst person in the world and not to mention the best actor." He slung his bag over his shoulder and looked at her naked form for what he promised himself was the last time.
She smirked, "I'd do it all for love."
"Fuck you."
And fuck her is what he did over the years. Over and over and over again. He knew it was strictly physical for him but for her, he was the love of her life.
He decided to get married to you and maybe then Gaeul would stop. But it was him, he was the problem. He couldn't stop himself.
He knew you were more than enough for him. He could give you all the love he had with him then why?
He gave up at some point, he gave up trying to be loyal to you.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Jungkook?" You sat beside him on the couch.
"Yeah, baby?" He looked up from his phone, a smile still evident on his features. No doubt, he was texting her.
Jungkook noticed the change in your behaviour and appearance. You didn't wear his hoodies, the colour under your eyes became darker by the day, you rejected cuddles and never even asked or let him have sex with you, which was weird since the both of you had similar drives.
And the worst of it all, he didn't see you smile during these days.
So now, he was a bit surprised when he realised you initiated a conversation.
He placed his phone aside and slid closer to you. He didn't offer you any hugs or cuddles because he knew something was off.
"Eunwoo's gonna come over to help me with something." Your voice cracked despite your efforts to be stable and calm about it.
He smiled, "Yeah? Sure, we can have him over for as long as you'd like. But why can't I help you?"
"It's nothing. He'll be here in a few hours." You got up and tried to leave. Much to your dismay, your husband held your wrist to stop you.
"Are you alright, baby?" The question almost made you scoff. But you didn't. You wanted to scream at yourself because you didn't scoff at him and leave.
Instead, you melted into his touch and smiled.
"I'm- yeah, I'm good." You said as he pulled you onto his lap. The feeling was so familiar, almost like it was second nature to you.
You wanted to slap him, yell at him, throw a tantrum. But you didn't.
You sighed as your body softened. He caressed your hair, it was an instinct.
"Tell me." He whispered while kissing the top of your head.
You gulped, this was bad. This was so, so bad. You never wanted to be in this position with him today. You should have left. But you didn't.
Instead, you let him kiss you. You were human afterall, how could you stop yourself from loving your own husband?
It felt like home.
He felt like home.
But you weren't his.
Your own best friend could provide him with more comfort than you could.
You sighed into the kiss, letting him take over.
Just one more time wouldn't hurt, right? Letting him take care of you just once more? You begged yourself not to fall into him even if it was the last time. But you couldn't help yourself.
You broke the kiss, eyes tearing up, "Jungkook..."
"What is it, baby?" He pulled you into a hug.
It took you a few seconds to calm your breaths, "Am I enough?"
He pulled back to look you straight in the eyes, lying to you was a second nature to him at this point, "Yeah, baby. I would never want anyone but you."
You smiled, "You sure?"
Jungkook couldn't help but feel as if something, heck, a lot was off about your question.
He should have been truthful, he should have been honest at the time, maybe you would have stayed, "I'd never lie to you."
You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at his response making him confused. There was no way you found out anything about him and Gaeul, right?
You got up, "I'll just be in the bedroom..."
It was so casual, as if you didn't know anything. It was so uncanny for Jungkook. As if it was a normal day for you two. But it was anything but normal.
After a while, one of your college friends, Eunwoo rang the doorbell. You didn't even need to think twice before opening it.
Your friend was fuming to say the least and mind you, Eunwoo was never even angry.
"Where is he?" He asked.
"Eunwoo, I just... let's just leave." You said giving him space to come inside the house.
"Leave? You want to just leave after what he did?" He asked, frowning.
You sighed, eyes in a constant state of glistening, "I don't want to-"
"Hey, man. What's up?" Your husband walked in, greeting your friend.
But instead of some kind words, Eunwoo was quick to greet him with his fist to Jungkook's jaw.
The hit was so hard and sudden, it made him fall onto the floor.
"Jungkook!" You gasped trying to get to him but Eunwoo didn't let you. He held you behind him, protecting you like Jungkook was a wild animal and your friend was your guard.
Your husband was stunned but didn't stay down for long. He wiped his bloody lip with the back of his hand.
"You befriend my wife, come to my house and hit me? What the fuck was that?"
Eunwoo chuckled bitterly, "You don't deserve to call her your wife. That was for what you did."
Surely, you didn't know about Gaeul and him. But the way Eunwoo just hit him told him something else.
"I don't want this, let's leave, please." You tried to reason with him.
Jungkook looked visibly confused to which Eunwoo replied, "I'm taking her to my house."
"W-What do you mean?" Jungkook's eyes caught yours.
"Do I really need to explain, Jeon? I'm talking about Gaeul and you. I can't let Y/n stay here with you."
All the colour on Jungkook's face instantly turned pale, the only contrast being his busted lip.
"Y/n, it's not- I- no..." He looked at you for anything, a single word but all you did was look away, tears threatening to fall.
"Don't even try to explain, she's leaving with me."
Jungkook blinked, processing it all. You couldn't leave him. There was no way he was letting you leave with someone else.
"Y/n, please hear me out... it was nothing, I tried to-" He was cut off by another hit to his jaw making him stumble backwards.
This time you didn't bother to look at him. You knew Eunwoo was holding himself back for you. You couldn't bear seeing Jungkook hurt like that.
"You actually have no shame, huh? Stop trying to explain anything. I know, she knows."
Jungkook walked towards you, trying to touch you, he was already crying. But Eunwoo didn't let him near you.
"Please, Y/n, listen to me. I- please..." His voice came out coarse and his breath, bated.
Eunwoo looked disgusted at him, after what he did, he should not even have a chance to explain himself. But Jungkook fell onto his knees, looking up at you.
"I beg you, Y/n. Don't leave me. Please. I love you. I love you more than anything."
But you couldn't bear to look at him, instead, you looked at Eunwoo and silently whispered to him, "Shall we leave?" Your tears betrayed your commands.
Your friend took your hand in his, and led you away from Jungkook, away from the love of your life. Away from everything you ever had.
Jungkook knew he couldn't stop you. Not when you had your friend with you, not when he knew you didn't want to stay.
But he still rushed to you, and hugged your legs, "I can't do this without you, Y/n. Please, please.... don't do this to me."
You looked down and caressed his hair, all you could do was smile, "I love you, Jungkook. You are my everything, but I'm not yours."
"No, no, Y/n. I don't want anything or anyone but you. I promise you the world."
"You did that 11 years ago as well, but look at us now." You kept caressing his hair, it felt so familiar.
Jungkook knew there was nothing he could do, "No, I-"
"Get off of her, that's enough."
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Gaeul entered the house in a rush, "Jungkook?"
The said man was lying practically lifeless on the couch. He didn't even bother to see or acknowledge her.
"Jungkook, hey baby. Finally, she left. I heard-"
Jungkook just simply whispered, "Get out..."
"What?"
"Get the fuck out of my house..."
"What's wrong? Aren't you relieved that she left?"
"I don't want to see your face, ever. Just go away before I do something."
Gaeul flinched, "Kookie, come on..."
"I said..." Jungkook yelled at her, "...get the fuck out before I hurt you."
"What did I do?" She backed away.
"What did you do? You ruined everything. And for what? Some high school jealousy? I love her, Gaeul. Never in a million years can I live without her."
She looked annoyed, "After all these years? You still love her? Then why the fuck would you fuck me? Say all those pretty words to me instead of her?"
Jungkook had no idea why.
He was the one who ruined it all, Gaeul was just a factor. But blaming her made it much less painful than it already was.
"I never loved you, Gaeul. I've always loved Y/n. You have never been enough for me."
"What are you talking about?"
"You have always known it's going to be her, I would never want to be with you."
Gaeul blinked, trying to process it all. She knew Jungkook didn't love her but saying it out loud in this way?
She had originally planned to ruin your relationship as a challenge for herself, but along the way, she fell in love. And Jungkook always ignored it.
She always assumed it was because he didn't want a messy break up and loved the thrill of it all.
"Jungkook..."
He closed his eyes and covered his eyes with his forearm, not wanting to see or hear anymore from her.
"So that's it? We're over?" She looked at him for a denial.
"How delusional can you be? We never were anything."
She chuckled, "And that is why you ruined your marriage?"
"And what about you? Feeling better about your insecure self?" He replied.
"Jungkook, listen to me. We can start over, leave her behind..."
And that is how Jungkook ended up throwing her out of the house.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
A knock on your door woke you up. You had no idea when you fell asleep, exhausted from all the happenings and crying.
Every moment felt like a burden to you. Every breath felt heavy. You had poured everything in for Jungkook and now you were completely drained.
You told yourself repeatedly, it was not your fault, not even a bit. But you couldn't deny that you tried to ignore all the bright red signs.
You sat up, your arms barely helped. The brush of your shirt against your stomach burned because of the fresh cuts you gave yourself.
You were living at Eunwoo's house for the past 2 weeks. He had been really supportive through every single bit of this ordeal. He even let you sleep on the bed while he rested on the couch.
Staying with him felt really comfortable, he made sure you had everything you needed. But it reminded you of Jungkook, and how he never let anything bother you.
"Hey... are you alright?" He said, entering.
You smile, "Much better I think. Cried more than I should."
"I uh- I'm sorry for this but..."
"But what?"
"Someone..." He sighed, "Jungkook is here to talk to you."
You looked down at your sleeve-clad hands on your lap, you knew this time was coming. You knew you had to talk to him. Forgiveness was not an option but talking would help a lot with the closure.
You had blocked Jungkook a couple of days after you left. He never stopped calling, not even for a single minute, hoping you'd pick up. Everytime he did, your heart physically ached for him.
But despite this, you weren't sure if you could talk to him without breaking down.
You weren't sure how you survived this long.
You didn't want to survive this long.
"I'll stay here while you two talk, is that fine?" Eunwoo asked.
You took a deep breath. You had thought this through, "I wanna be alone with him."
"Are you sure, I don't mind staying here."
"It's going to be fine, Eunwoo."
Your friend nodded and stepped aside and left letting your ex-lover step inside.
You could barely recognise him. He looked extremely dehydrated and starved. His cheeks no longer held their plumpness. His eyes only seemed to hold life the moment they were laid on you. He looked drunk. But you could tell he made an effort to look presentable to you.
The two of you mirrored each other when your eyes met. Jungkook, however, was the first to let his tears flow.
"Y/n..." He tested the waters by slowly walking towards the bed you were sitting on.
He kneeled down near the edge and extended his arms to touch you. But you didn't let him and it didn't take a genius to understand why.
"S-Say what you want to, Jungkook." You mentally cursed at yourself for stuttering. But how were you supposed to stay calm?
Jungkook had a whole speech prepared. He wanted to apologise for everything he did, everything he lied about and assurr you that he'd never do it again.
But all he could mutter up was, "I'm sorry, Y/n..."
"How long?" You asked. You were always a calm person, and always relied on Jungkook to stand up for you.
He gulped at your stern tone, "5 years..."
The crack in your heart could be heard by him. Tears were long out of your control.
"Y-You... for 5 fucking years?" You cried, "You were with that bitch for 5 years? Jungkook, did you ever even love me?"
"I love you, Y/n, please believe me on this. It was strictly physical with Gaeul."
You scoffed, "Does that even matter!? You fucked my best friend for 5 years, Jungkook. You fucked her when I was right beside you two."
His eyes widened, he had no idea you were awake at the time. He looked at you with pure pain in his eyes. Jungkook wasn't much of an empath but he could feel everything when he was with you.
"If you loved me..." You sobbed, "...you would've told me what the hell was wrong with me. Wasn't I enough?"
"No, no, Y/n, baby. You are more than enough, I-"
Jungkook's eyes landed on your wrist where your sleeve had ridden up. He looked more heartbroken than ever. As if the ground under his feet suddenly decided it didn't want to hold him up.
"Y/n... y-you started again?"
It took you a while but when you realised what he was referring to, you quickly covered your whole body with a blanket, still feeling as if it wasn't enough.
"Please..." He bowed down with his head on the edge of the bed, "...please forgive me, I- I never wanted this to happen..."
You couldn't help but roll your eyes at him, "But it did happen, Jungkook. And I can never forgive you for it. Maybe if it was a one night thing, heck, even a few couple of times. But we're talking 5 years."
He continued crying with his head down. You reached out to touch the back of his hand, which was held in a fist.
He immediately relaxed at your action.
"You humiliated me, Jungkook. Y-You keep apologising but it won't change the fact."
He looked up at you, you face kind as ever. He wanted you to be screaming at him, throwing stuff at him, he didn't even mind if you beat the living shit out of him. He hated this, he hated this so much.
He was the cause of what you were going through, he was the exact things he tried all his life to save you from—pain and disappointment.
"Jungkook?" You said, ever-so-calmly. But everything that had happened was evident in your shaky voice.
"Y-Yeah?"
"Do you love me? Even a little bit?"
It didn't take a single millisecond for him to answer, "Never have I ever loved anything more than I love you..."
"Then, let me let go of you." You whispered, bringing his hand to your lips and placing one last small kiss.
He shuddered, trying his best to not let go of your hand, but it slipped.
Everything he ever had, everything he ever wanted, lost.
You didn't say anything, you didn't need to. Jungkook knew you better than you did, he knew what your words signified. It was the end. The end of everything.
The sound of the door opening, Eunwoo speaking, everything seemed drowned out for him.
He didn't say anything either, he just got up and left. He didn't know where to, he didn't have a home, just an empty shell of what used to be.
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faun-the-fawn77 · 7 hours
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I hope you are still accepting requests but if not then that’s okay but I have this cool idea
okay here me out… what about alastor, Lucifer and Adam and their s/o meeting their fandom counterparts specifically cursed cat alastor, cat luci, and tiny/squished Adam? Just a thought have a good day! 👍😁
"𝙊𝙃 𝘿𝙀𝙀𝙍"
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Genre: CRACKFIC
Word Count: 869
Warnings: swearing(it's adam)
Desc: Drabbles of Alastor, Lucifer, and Adam with their s/o(SEPERATE) meeting their fandom counterparts!
Note: Oh my gosh my first request! I hope I did it justice😭
And please check this out! It helps me know what fics you want most from me!
UPCOMING FICS!
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Alastor:
It was a relatively calm day at the hotel. Husk was manning the bar like usual with Angel Dust talking(flirting) his ear off. Charlie and Vaggie were on the couch in the lobby discussing more exercises for Charlie's redemption plan.
Y/N came down into the lobby with a smile on their face. Today was their date with Alastor and they had it all planned out. They hoped nothing would go wrong this day.
They walked further into the room and looked around for their beloved. A scratch at the hotel doors had caught their attention. They made their way over and pulled a knife to make sure it wasn't someone violent. Opening the large door, they looked around outside and saw absolutely nothing. Confused, they go to close the door only for a staticky meow to sound from their feet.
"What the hell?" Looking down, a cat that looked so much like their lover was sitting at their feet, staring at them. Y/N crouched down and slowly put a hand out to the creature. The cat...thing, sniffed their hand and then stood up to run its back along Y/n's palm. Y/N awed silently and began to pet the purring creature.
"And I thought we were going out, my dear!" Alastor's static voice sounded behind them.
Y/N whipped around and stared at her lover with glee. They picked up the creature with care and presented it to their lover.
Alastor, the ever calm demon, looked at the cat then back at his beloved with a twitch in his eye.
"And wherever did you find this...thing?" Alastor backed away from the creature who had hissed at the deer demon. Alastor glared down at the creature and growled lowly.
"It scratched at the door! Oh, can we keep him? Please!?" Y/N held the cat to their chest, cuddling it. Alastor growled again and ripped the cat away from his partner's arms.
"No, we cannot, my dearest! I'm afraid this is..." Alastor trailed off once he caught sight of the tears threatening to stream down Y/N's face. He let out a sigh and gave the clawing cat back to them.
"It cannot sleep on the bed."
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Lucifer:
Lucifer was a duck person. Every being in Hell could tell you that much. I mean, the angel created hell ducks specifically for Hell! He had always requested duck themed clothing for his days off and was always found creating the creatures for his daughter.
Today, Lucifer was almost considered a cat person. His lover, Y/N, had shown up to the manor with a wriggling bag at their side. Lucifer was always curious to see what Y/N would bring him on their date days.
"Luci! You will not believe what I had found outside my apartment door this morning!" Y/N held the bag to their chest now, shushing whatever was inside the cloth bag.
Lucifer, the ever curious being that he was, stepped closer towards his partner.
"What is it?" Y/N beamed down at him and opened the bag up. A little white and blonde fluffy head poked from the top. The red eyes of the cat creature looked into Lucifer's own matching red eyes.
Lucifer could've fainted right then and there. A cat that just so happened to look exactly like him had shown up at his lover's apartment?
"Isn't he cute? He looks just like you! Oh, can I keep him?" Y/N was grinning down at the purring cat and petting its fluffy head.
Lucifer hesitated before giving in. I mean, a cat can't replace him...can it?
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Adam:
"What the fuck is that?"
Adam just wanted a nice day with his beloved partner, Y/N. Training the new exorcists was hard work and having to deal with the constant nagging from both Lute and Sera really put a stain on his mood.
When he had arrived at his partner's apartment, he was expecting to be greeted with a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. What he didn't expect was for his partner to open the door quietly and rocking a...tiny squished version of him, in their arms.
Adam was both confused and annoyed. I mean, he's glad that his lover actually loves him enough to take care of this version of him but he's annoyed that the thing is taking all of their attention away from him.
"Put it to bed or some shit. I came here to cuddle and have my partner's attention on me," Adam pouted. He crossed his arms and huffed childishly when Y/N shushed him for being too loud.
The tiny Adam had woken up and stretched out in Y/N's arms. It blinked a couple times before its gaze had landed on the giant Adam. It giggled then smirked before trying to wrap its tiny arms around Y/N's neck.
"Awe, he loves me! Adam! Can we keep him?" Adam was going to protest until he caught sight of the parental look that his partner was giving the tiny version of him. He could melt at the sight of such sweetness.
"Fine! But you're taking care of it!"
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OMG I LOVED THIS!!! Tiny Adam is my fav and I love him to death.
PLEASE SEND MORE REQUESTS!!!
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adh-d2 · 2 months
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All in favor of christening that maneuver the Phee Fall say 'aye'
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lurking-latinist · 9 months
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🐈
#ooh I have a lot of thoughts about Six and Charley and her mysteriousness and how he responds to it#but they intersect with my Six's Mental Health Thoughts which are extremely headcanony#and I know a lot of the fandom would rather just kind of wall off Twin Dilemma and assume Six's proper characterization doesn't include it#and I don't know that I blame them for that#but I like trying to make things fit together#and also there's no way to do that without probably misusing real-world mental health terminology#because (watsonian) the doctor is an alien with an alien brain and (doylist) the writers do not know all that much about psychiatry#but. at least for a bit after his regeneration he deals with paranoia right?#like that's the term the narrative uses. (and it clearly explains his attack on peri - he's perceiving her as a threat due to delusion)#& she says 'I'm not letting a manic depressive paranoid personality like you shut me up' & he objects specifically to 'manic depressive'#later in uhhhh revelation of the daleks? he doesn't tell her about a real danger#and he says 'I didn't want to burden you with what might have been a piece of paranoid speculation on my part'#again I cannot emphasize enough how much I am talking about a fictional character with fictional problems. I do not know psychiatry either!#I do not want to mislead#but one of this character's problems is that he has a badly calibrated sense of danger. sometimes he sees things as threatening that aren't#and sometimes he overcompensates for that#and I think when he first meets Charley he is really not very sure whether he should trust the alarm bells he's hearing or not#she seems deeply suspicious! but also nice? he wants to like her? but deeply suspicious!#'or am I just being crazy?' he asks himself#and so he just kind of... keeps watching her#also unrelatedly to all that I think he kind of likes having the excuse of Mystery for doing what he does anyway which is orbiting her#just slightly obsessing over his companion at the time even if he also occasionally forgets they're there#(he's just very all or nothing in everything all the time)#but yeah. you know how 11 gets about Clara and her Mystery Plotline? 6 is like that about every companion in turn anyway#so he doesn't actually mind having the excuse of Mystery with Charley#this is also why 6 and Clara is so compelling#(this was a tag essay in response to lrb but I decided it was opening too many cans of worms and needed its own post)
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triglycercule · 16 days
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as much as i gush and reblog stuff talking about the mtt if they were toxic and unhealthy and so fucking terrible for eachother i have a confession to make. i actually like soft and wholesome and domestic mtt more. theres a reason why my comic is about the mtt running away from nm and living a happy life. theres a reason only ONE of the 5 fics ive posted onto ao3 are kinda lighthearted and even that one angst fic ends bittersweetly.
the reason is that i just love fluff too much. i get more than enough angst and assholery from others and my imagination but when it comes to putting pen to paper i physically cannot make them abusive to eachother
i love recovery stories too much to make them hate eachother
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cinnamon-notes · 29 days
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i have been ghosting my friends for idk a month??? and they have been doing the same??? except for when we meet in a workplace cuz somehow our jobs decided to cross over :)
#feeling so bad about it but like i cant bring myself to interact with people right now but i am also constantly sad because i dont interact#with anyone out of work :/ but working makes me socially exhausted & tbh all i wanna do is be depressed with my books & my movies &my tunes#but i also crave affection like i realize i have zero social life and i sometimes schedule some hangout with my friends but it's almost#become like idk a task? something i look at through work eyes. like- i arrange our hangouts the way i arrange work meetings. it's so sad.#i know it is. but still- i cant help it. through all my life ive been missing having a lifelong friend who knows me like the back of their#hands and i know like the back of mine. never had it. cant cry over that. it's passed. i cant invent lifelong friendships that never existed#and i gotta make peace with that. plus- what am i complaining about if im just incapable of keeping any friend for longer than a month???#after the first month- maybe the first couple of months- it all gets boring and dont get me wrong i really love my friends but somehow they#lose interest in me and i lose interest in them and we become just people who know each other and occasionally hang out but like- i've never#had a friend who's there for me when things happen in my life. i've always had friends to tell things to afterwards. like- i know i cant#really pick up the phone and say “hey. im having a bad time. can we take a walk? talk on the phone? can you tell me about your day? can you#just be here for me?“ and i cant even idk just randomly pop up with a ”oh my god i hate him i hate him i hate him it's a whole montague vs#capulet but if romeo and juliet never existed kind of hatred!!“ i just cant vent right away. ive always thought that that's my problem.#and maybe it is. but still- how's come they can vent to me? im always there right away. i do love my people and i show up for them.#sometimes my depression makes it soooo difficult to hang out constantly but if there's one thing that cannot be said about mw is that i dont#care. cuz i do. and maybe that's the problem#and maybe it's just easier for me to care than let others care? idk? but then again- i did try to open up. i did try to let them care. i did#try everything by the book & off the book but still- idk it's always just an “im sorry” never an “i care so much to say more than im sorry”#and yeah it's my problem cuz i am not a constant person im not that steady in what i do. i still dont know if it's because i havent found#yet the people worth doing it or if i am just traumatized (my ex is knocking on this door lol) but- idk it makes me extremely sad!!!#and ive rambled on way too much but i jusg needed to let some things out of my mind cuz i cant understand whats wrong with me and why i#crave true friendships although im hella scared of and bored of and unwilling to nurturing one :)#cinnamon diary
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kaeyaphile · 2 months
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all thoughts, head full of ✨aventurine✨
+ a bunch of rambling/life updates in the tags, oops
#kayleigh.txt#y’all i seriously cannot stop thinking about this lil’ pixelated man 🫠#i officially have everything to fully level and max him and his lightcone and his traces 👏🏻#only e0s1 of course; i’m broke af 😅#hopefully for his rerun i can get some eidolons but alas not this time unfortunately 💔#he’s literally on the same level as kaeya in my heart; favorite hsr character for sure#(jing yuan has been demoted to my second favorite now because i am a silly goose)#i honestly never thought i’d be so adoring of hoyoverse characters but... here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️#actual legitimate feelings for real people??? ❎#actual legitimate feelings for fictional characters??? ✅#aNYWAYS the brainrot is really bad y’all and i apologize that my entire personality has been taken over by this man 🤡#i wish that i had an income right now so that i could commission some self–indulgent selfship art but alas 😩#once my irl bestie’s wedding and honeymoon is over on may 10th i will be going back to looking for a job 👌🏻#i’ve applied to probably 50+ jobs throughout the past few months and have heard absolutely nothing back 💀#i have given up for now; i have to get my mental health and autoimmune diseases under control first tbqh#i have a psychiatrist appointment on the 16th which i am terrified regarding but hopefully it goes well 🥲🤞🏻#and i am going to start a new injectable medication for my autoimmune diseases asap#i have to deep clean my house and revamp my reptile enclosures before i commit to a job as well ugh#i have to actually get my shit tf together before i start legitimately looking for a job again is what i’m saying 😂
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once again thinking about Kevin in the Andrew-Kevin-Neil web of things and something something just like how Neil and Kevin want to give Andrew the purpose he's looking for, and how Kevin and Andrew want to give Neil the opportunity he couldn't have, Andrew and Neil give Kevin strength. and as Kevin learns to overcome his fears it means everything when Neil, always beside him, shifts to remind Kevin he's ready to fight and when Andrew, always behind him, touches fingertips to Kevin's back to steady him
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> posts a fic i'm proud of about dark subject matter to do with five and his abuse, which came from a very personal place, on AO3
> gets a comment
> it is, Course, a hate comment from an anti, demanding on anon to know why i would 'spend my value as a writer who's read Legacies' to write it
> roasts their ass like a thanksgiving turkey and immediately goes to write more of the thing
#LL tag#antis cw#the entitlement is unreal and it Will get you made fun of sorry#like for one thing first and foremost my art is for me; unless i am specifically writing something as a gift for someone else#which i do when i do it because it brings me joy#but also i do find happiness; joy; and fulfillment in posting art that i made for myself; and it being meaningful to other people#i've got LL fics that are ten years old that people still mention having loved now and then; and that i still get kudos on#and it is so humbling in the best way; i cannot express how much my opinion on it is not 'lol go fuck yourselves i don't care'#.......BUT. your 'value' as a writer/artist/etc in fandom is not something you '''spend'''#you are a *person* who shared your time and effort and a little part of your soul#that nourishes people it resonates with; until they have enough left over to maybe share some of theirs right back#a fandom that is good for you and treating you decently will leave you with more of yourself to share; not less#the value you are bringing to a fandom is *you*#what your value to the fandom is *not* is#'someone who's read the thing i like; puts words on paper; and is therefore categorically capable of making content for me to consume'#'and ONLY content for ME to consume'#'if you write anything i don't want to read you are personally taking food out of the mouths of me and my starving children'#writers and artists in fandom are not ATMs for the fandom to leave empty#and if anyone tries to treat you like one they're an entitled weirdo who's actively dehumanizing you & i advise you to drop their ass & run#anyway i just have a lot of thoughts about the subject and i am grateful to people in fandom who aren't Like This#whereas anon can use the block button or cry themself to sleep at night every time i post another fic about five being an abuse survivor#the salt files#abuse mention cw#grooming mention cw
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dapperrokyuu · 6 months
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Saw a bad Mochijun take, lol.
#dee p thoughts#genuinely dislike vague posts and/but I dont want to put a person on blast but like#''alice became irrelevant'' quite frankly the plot revolved and wouldnt exist in the first place without alice nadfbjkldan#I can get behind the idea that the plot is less EXPLICITLY about her lategame and mochijun frankly wasnt perfect about writing girl#characters (sincerely Id say the PERFECT done ones are only lacie and echo; the rest struggling with either disappearing quickly a la#vanessa and marie relegating to supporting/supplemental to male characters roles a la sharon ada shelly and/or funky in execution a la#lottie lily and alice) but literally. the plot goes from ''who murdered her?'' to ''why did she die that way?'' and that means EVERYTHING#EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGG!!! OZ IS RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!! frankly should more have happened with her lategame YES!!! but she frankly CANNOT BE#IRRELEVANT EVERRR- lots to think about in terms of the girls' character writing in PH lottie really gets me a ton in terms of what was trie#that I could see and what didnt happen and the mild disappointment and the potential LOTTIE IS SO COOLLLLL but her intro. ack and more-#GENUINELY GOOD I COULD SEE THE ATTEMPT AND WHERE IT WAS TRYING TO GO A TO B MAKES SENSE AND IS ULTIMATELY HEARTFELT BUT THE EXECUTION WAS S#OOOOOO not the best lol. like her a ton cute design could/wished it could be better- lily is perfectly serviceable but relegated to being#cute and reactive after her moment which works but more would be better/coolerrrrr#hated levi. this point is irrelevant but I just remembered him and I loathe his ass. choke.
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birdmenmanga · 2 years
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birdmen as presented by my bestie beloved @ashe-is-here​
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#just thinking thoughts...#might as well maintag this eh#birdmen#I love this for a lot of reasons including but not limited to#my first reaction upon seeing the title slide being 'lol eishi's so short he's not even blocked out by the title'#and then seeing that that was the very first bullet point in the following slide#also the way that 90% of this is correct#5% of the stuff is understandable misunderstandings#and the final 5% is just baseless personal headcanons I've presented as fact#birdmutuals furrowing their brows at 'kissing underneath the ecstasy of st teresa' and the 'robin and arthur have a thing for tater tots'#and even 'the dead birds twitch chat in takayama's brain'#dont worry about it. it's all in my head#I canNOT believe Takayama being a mechanic didn't make it onto the Takayama slide though you threw a right fit when you found out#like you nod your head when I tell you he absorbed the consciousness of the first bird jesus but when I say he's a mechanic you visibly turn#and yell 'WHAT?!' like THAT'S the weirdest thing you've heard about him#anyways I think this is both hilarious and sobering as it reflects both my own biases and also emery's biases regarding the series#sorry I am ignoring umino I don't mean to be a misogynist I'm just wildly distracted by whatever christian swag the tks trio have going on#it always comes down to the jesus christ kin. the religious weirdness. sorry for being like this (apology for me AND ashe)#but yeah I fucking prommy. i got 2 wips in the works regarding umino#I have no idea why he knows about ende though. when did I drop the fact that god lives in the amazon rainforest and uses they/them pronouns?#wait wiat wait since I have everybody's attention I am going to make this joke once again#'they're really putting the 'ende' in 'gender''#okay thank you for coming to my ted talk#anyways I love this alot and I am printing this out and putting it on my wall#(I am not but maybe I should cram all these slides into the desktop wallpaper folder)
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nostalgia-tblr · 8 months
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#the sylki-versus-the-grandmaster fic that i started in february has just passed 5000 words HOW THE FUCK????#this is the 'oh it's too fucked up to actually finish' thing that i add a bit to whenever things are getting too wholesome elsewhere#and it's not even THAT fucked up aside from the erm constant threat of death and the very-very-dubcon stuff#i started out with the thought 'actually i don't think sylvie would do at all well on sakaar she's too blunt and no good at flattery'#don't ask me how this logically leads to increasingly disturbing frostmaster dubcon it just does okay#but it seems like this might be something i could actually finish now which is maybe good as it's had a title for several months already#(“Love Is A Danger Of A Different Kind” if you were wondering which you probably weren't especially)#it's not effed-up enough to be posted Anon but it might be effed-up enough that nobody's going to want to click on it if posted#or maybe i should just tell myself that last part in case it's actually terrible and i just haven't realised that yet#but that cannot be as the first line is “So why haven’t you two fucked yet?” which is definitely a 100% solid classic opener right there!!!#i think the grandmaster might be the actual worst person from the thor movies he has no sympathetic story he's just a massive bastard#that's why i keep putting him in things. last year's sylki dubcon fic would have floundered without him!#i wouldn't say grandmaster/loki is something i 'ship' as such - it's more something i stare at in horrified fascination#so anywho i just wanted to share my shock that it's somehow got to that many words#i have no idea how long the finished fic would/will be other than 'longer than it perhaps should be'
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