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vad-hander · 5 months

Text

YOU KNOW WE'RE NOT COMPATIBLE, RIGHT?

pairing: Haechan x reader

others: Mark, Jaemin, Jeno as Haechan's friends.

warnings: reader is mean and degrading towards Haechan throughout the fic (but nothing serious), mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of stealing, Haechan gets injured (breaks his leg, no graphic descriptions), explicit description of sexual interactions between Haechan and reader, unrequited love, reader has issues with showing her feelings, scared of other people's opinion, slowburn, romance

words: 13,7k

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

“Hey.”

“Hey.” your head lifted at the sound of your roommate.

“He's left already?” you felt your lips form a smile unconsciously.

“Yeah, I literally cannot look into my computer a minute longer.” you sighed dramatically, shutting down the laptop on your knees after you got notified all the work was finally saved and dropped against the back rest.

It was your 8th working session in the past two weeks with Haechan. You’ve never seen Lee Haechan so often, never had to sit right next to him in pure quietness for hours and try to have some sort of thinking process.

It was difficult any way you looked at it and you were glad he was finally gone. At least, for the evening.

Apparently, Jeno needed his help immediately and Haechan could never say no to a friend in need, which is a quote.

Talking of needs, you wondered what happened to this man’s needs since having him as a working partner seemed to somehow kill his hormones. Even when you very much intentionally set a couple of your meetings in his house the boy didn’t lay a single finger on you.

Figuratively speaking, because in fact the only thing he laid on you in those past 2 weeks were his palms. On your shoulder, or leg but it didn’t go past a teasing touch and you were confused beyond and above.

“I can imagine studying with Lee Haechan be tiring.” she cackled, placing her body on the armrest next to you. Her hand going under her head for support, making the girl take a half laying position on an armrest close to you, almost pressing her body to yours.

You probably reeked Haechan since the boy was practically attached to you at your hip for the past 5 hours, you were afraid she’d be able to pinpoint the scent of him, or more honestly you didn’t want her to ruin that scent with her fresh meadow scented deodorant.

“He’s actually doing a good job.” you smiled awkwardly, noticing the eyes of your friend. A cunning fox type of stare wasn’t a good thing coming from Eunsoo, you could not wonder immediately if she saw how handsy Haechan was before he left and was testing the waters before jumping onto you with questions? Did she hear him asking if you’re free tomorrow night? Or worse, did she see him rub his face against your neck, saying he needed a break to distract his thoughts for a later on better thinking process?

In all honesty, Haechan rubbed his face against you too many times during your sessions to go unnoticed by people around and the amount of times you were in fact ready to help him distract his brain and he never proceeded with the action made you tired, upset and even slightly annoyed.

“What, what is this smile?” you laughed it off awkwardly, very awkwardly, to be completely honest. You looked away to hide your eye twitch.

“Surprised you’re not ripping hair off your head after every working session with him.” she laughed, and… it felt lie she maybe testet the water...? Did she try to tap on the fact you didn’t really hate spending time next to him?

“I-, he-, it’s funny to say, he’s good with academic studies, apparently, and if he’s not just typing gibberish into the laptop I think we might even be one of the top students.” you chuckled. “Oh, by the way, we left some food in the fridge, if you’re hungry.”

“We?” she teased with a smirk.

“My God, Eunsoo.” your eyes rolled backwards.

“No, it’s a good thing, I guess.”

“What is a good thing?”

“We’re not hating on Haechan anymore, right?”

“I don’t think anybody actually really hated him in our friend group... except for Sua?" your thoughts trailed off before you got back "Why are you asking, anyway?”

“Ugh-agh.” she swallowed and fixed the hair on her head.

“You’ve got something you wanted to say, don't you?”

“Me? No? I was just testing the waters.“ your heart missed a beat because you were totally right. You cleared your throat in an attempt to unnoticeably calm your heart down.

“Testing the waters, huh?“ still, you couldn’t keep yourself from shuffling, having to stand up and actually move around the room to not seem suspicious to your friend that acted way too suspicious herself.

“Since you two are seem to be more friendly than before, not to jump far too ahead, but we all can be… friends… now?” she questioned, shaking her head a little as if the thought alone was still a little bewildering to her. It did seem bewildering to you too, every one of you being close to each other, being friends. “I thought I could ask you once again if you’d like to go on the boat trip that happens to be next weekend?“

“I don’t know.“ You shook your head with no answer.

Maybe you should come, for your friends, for Eunsoo, not mind Haechan, his presence and presence of all his friends. At the end of the day, you don’t even have to look at each other, but on the other hand avoiding him could give him the wrong idea, the idea that your feelings for him have changed?

“Ya, look.” Eunsoo clapped, as her voice went a little louder, making you come back to reality “’I don’t know is much more of a better answer than a straight up no. Haechan must’ve shaken your ground, huh?“ her brows went up and down playfully.

“Yeah, sure. He’s such a charming, lovely and smart guy I suddenly couldn’t imagine us part ways for the weekend, now that we’re all BFFs.“ Eunsoo laughed.

“Oh please don’t go in detail about your newly found passion in Haechan, I still have food to digest.“ She gagged jokingly. “Anyway, I’ma bout to shake your ground even more.“

“I’m all ears.“ You wiggled your brows playfully.

“The boat trip is free.“ you gasped, squinting your eyes in confusion.

“How come? How’d you make Jeno agree to that? What did you promise him?“ You jumped up to your friend, hand on your heart in concern.

“Nothing, I didn’t need to-“

“Jeno himself suggested I’m coming for free?“ you stared at her wide-eyed, trying to get a secret out of her that she obviously wasn’t keeping too well.

“Ugh, not really-“ Eunsoo tried to get an answer out of her mouth but her brain was definitely not cooperating and you didn’t want to stop asking questions at the kinda exciting news. You took a moment in your brain to question yourself. Why exactly did the thought excite you so much? Jeno was practically a stranger to you. “So did you ask him to? Soo-yah, I’m starting to think he might have a crush… on me…? Of all people?!“ you couldn’t hold back a giggle.

“I don’t-“ The girl paused calmly.

“He wants me to come no matter what? If he’s saying it’s free suddenly? I’m sure Sua and Aeri transferred him money last week.“

“Ugh… you sorta got it right.“ She sighed.

“Wh-“ you started confused “No, what?“ You spoke louder. “What did he say? What did he say?“ You pulled onto Eunsoo’s hand for more info, like an excited puppy.

“He just asked if you decided on coming… I said no, you’re not going to be there so he just said I can take you with me…” she paused and then suddenly continued “Said you have to be there no matter what so I’m here asking you if you’d come if it was free?“

“Should I?“ You chuckled.

“If you want to?“ She spoke awkwardly, you had to take a step back and recollect yourself.

“Hey, I… actually, I thought Jeno had a thing for you and you two were slowly drifting in that direction? What happened with that? Thats very out of the blue…? Him wanting to see me there. When we’re there I should tell him I’m not interested, you d-.“

“No, no!“ Eunsoo jumped up. “Don’t tell him anything.“

“Why?“

“I-ugh, he’s going to be pissed I told you, just don’t mention anything, it’s better you act the usual.“

“Are you sure?“

“Yeah, yeah, don’t go out of your way just to refuse him.“

“I-oh, okay. But are you okay with that?“

“Yeah, yeah. So you’re going then, right?“

“Guess I’m going, then.“ you chuckled.

“Fantastic.“ Eunsoo clapped her hands relieved, the conversation seemed too awkward for her, it could not not gut you. “I’ll go eat leftovers of your fancy lunch with your new best friend.“

From: Haechan

Great news, cupcake.

To: Haechan

What news?

From: Haechan

You’re coming to Jeno’s little party

To: Haechan

So it’s great news now

Didn’t you say that I’ll shit your party?

From: Haechan

Aw, baby, you’re keeping everything I say close to your heart, I’m honoured

Don’t worry tho, I changed my opinion and I’m going to make the best of your presence

To: Haechan

Awww poor baby, You must’ve gotten a little too comfortable and forgot we’re not friends

it’s fine though, I’ll say hi back to you once I see you on that boat

From: Haechan

I hope you’re not getting sea sick and stuff

I’ve never done you on water, won’t forgive you for ruining my chance

And then sure, lets not talk

To: Haechan

and, I’m sure you’re overestimating Jeno’s abilities, isn’t it going to be more of a catamaran type boat? lol

From: Haechan

why the caps lock you want to make sure I know you’re not getting sea sick?

To: Haechan

F u

Go finish the project on your own

From:Haechan

You’re not much of a help anyway

To: Haechan

And finish yourself off on your own too <3

Excuse me, I’m not much of a help?!?

Your life’s about to end

From: Haechan

If you’re considering staring at me while I actually work on our paper help, I’ve got bad news for you cupcake

You gasped scandalised and threw your phone away. Annoying Haechan and his annoyingly good eyesight, you thought, he deserves to be left on read.

From: Haechan

whoopsie, was I supposed to keep my mouth closed?

You never were supposed to text me in the first place, you mumbled under your breath, suddenly being too worked up by him. His senseless messages made your heart wake up and burn, not with love and passion, with embarrassment and that long forgotten, almost dead feeling of wishing to end his cocky smile and witty brain.

From: Haechan

come on, don’t act like you’re surprised

I thought you were this obvious on purpose

weren’t you?

You stared at the phone blankly, considering your options.

from: Haechan

hey

hey!!

you

to: Haechan

I’ll block you if you won’t stop

from: Haechan

why?

to: Haechan

hey

Hey

You

Hey

You

Fuck

You

like it?

from: Haechan

okay baby go back to what you were doing, bye

to: Haechan

thanks

You reached out for the bedside table in pure darkness, blindly finding your phone. When the gadget was finally in your hands you lit up the screen.

“Fuck”, you mumbled under your breath as the screen burned your eyes. 2 AM, the clock marking an hour and 30 minutes of tossing and turning in bed because everything turned out to be more than you were able to handle. All your thoughts and feelings suddenly were much more than what you could process and you were sincerely dreading the new day that would bring more concerns and more importantly more Haechan.

You needed more random things to flood your mind so they’d be able to overlap the Haechan ones you had because thinking of Haechan in the middle of the night was giving you a headache. Did he think of you too…? Sometimes, maybe, at least at all, ever? How did you end up getting here? You’d chuckle if someone else asked you that question.

Middle of the night, palms sweaty from overthinking too much, heart trembling a little because the boy you used to just have sex with smashed the lock on the door to your feelings with no mercy.

Was he intentionally invading your inner peace? Did he want to stir your feelings as part of his stupid ego stroking, did you imagine things, come up with all that in your head? You needed Lee Haechan to take responsibility for his actions, he overstepped the boundary way too many times, now he flirts with you as an addition to everything else. Baby? Seriously, baby, cupcake was much of a better nickname, at least you knew it was meaningless and not personal. It felt like he wasn’t bothered too much to remember what your actual name was and stuck to something that made your relationship feel like a transaction. Baby is definitely giving a feeling to you, a little too intimate for your liking, it’s like he was claiming he liked you, like he claimed you his something and you were in some sort of relationship.

What if his silly brain already spilled things to his group of friends about you and him? Your heartbeat fastened even more. Oh how you hated yourself for laying in that bed and still thinking of Haechan’s message when it’s been an ungodly amount of hours since he sent it.

Maybe, it’s just you going crazy since that day he took you out.

What if…? You had to toss onto the other side of the bed at the thought. What if he does all of this to play with you? Since the day you told him to not kiss you Haechan seemed to change his game, he just plays to try make you brake the rule of no kissing first. He’s that type of person to do things only to satisfy his own needs and satisfy his ego. Oh god, you had to sigh again.

Were you going through all stages of grief or something like that? Now you’re on the demonising the person of your concerns stage? Sigh, sigh, sigh.

You couldn’t sigh any louder or you'll literally wake up Eunsoo.

Maybe, at this point, you’d really let him do anything to fulfil whatever plan he had. You’d gladly accept defeat if only he’d let you smash your lips against his right this moment, it doesn’t even have to be literally right this moment. If you’d get reassurance you’d be able to do it in the morning you’ll do anything in your power to conquer your feelings and finally fall asleep to hold on till the new day.

“Just to clarify, I was staring at you because I couldn’t stop wondering, if you had brain in that head of yours all along, why did you act like you didn’t, not because of whatever you thought.” you slapped your palm against Haechan’s chest for no particular reason, it seemed to you it’ll give more effect, persuade him more you were telling the truth. A very puzzled expression on the boys face turned into even more confused one as your palm stayed on him for a few seconds.

“Okay?”

“Good.” you nodded, and took a step back.

“I didn’t ask. What are you even on about?” your eyes suddenly glued to his. He still was confused, that’s for sure. Well, who wouldn’t, in all honesty. You popped out of the blue on his way to the campus, first thing in the morning like a psychopath. You weren’t even sure you didn’t look like one.

“Ugh… huh?” your brain processed his question. “What do you mean what I’m on about?”

“When were you staring? I just got here.”

“Your message on Friday.”

“Oh, that.” he smirked immediately. “I was just shitting you, but it seems like I hit the spot right?”

“You- fuck you.”

“Come on, don’t act like you’re not enjoying me texting you.”

“I don’t. You’re always interrupting.”

“Yeah? What exactly did I interrupt on Friday?”

“I-, I was doing something. It’s none of your business.”

“Okay, I’ll stay out of it then.” the slight nod and completely lost interest in his eyes kind of pinched you.

You maybe wanted him to pick on you, push and tease so he’d get straight to whatever he was interrupting but he just didn’t. Did he lose all his interest in you? Or was this just a tiresome Monday morning and he wasn’t in for the game?

You weren’t that much of a talkative friend when it came to him. You weren’t about to giggle and ask him why he's so stiff this morning. You were about to start sweating that’s for sure, your palms were feeling too warm because you maybe wanted to tell him something but maybe talking to him suddenly felt like imposing. Were you about to go insane over Lee Haechan? Over him and the fact he didn’t have a thing to say to you. Since when?

“Okay.” you nodded too and wanted to walk straight past him, but it felt like you made it hard for yourself to breathe. “The presentation of the project is this Wednesday. I’m almost done with the slides but we need to go through the text, who’s saying what, who’s presenting which part and all that stuff.” you didn’t want to look at him anymore while talking. Why did you not want to look at him? You couldn’t understand yourself at all. Your wishful thinking brought you here in front of him early in the morning after almost a sleepless night. Somehow you thought he’d tease you and smile at you and set another date for seeing each other wether it’d be for sex or food or school. At this point you caught yourself not caring at all as long as it’s something to do with him. You could understand the change in your demeanour, but what was up with him? You really wanted to clap in front of his eyes and ask him what’s up.

The change in you obviously scared you. It made you sincerely concerned for your self. You probably needed to talk this out with someone but the more you went through with that first sentence you’d start the conversation with the more you felt self-conscious to bring it up even as a thought that might’ve popped up in your head once or twice.

The more you thought of it the more you brought up heaviness on your shoulders. Were you imagining or did Haechan change? His behaviour seemed colder than before? Did he change his demeanour because he felt you actually fall for his flirting and the pure intentions of his flirting were not to make you fall for him… it was to watch you be uncomfortable?

Were you actually beating around the bush and not admitting to yourself truthfully the four letter word you were feeling towards him. No, not the big four letter word, the smaller one, but very much dear to your heart, very fragile as it still felt like early stages of processing the feeling. And even though your body might’ve not been new to it, since your brain was only able to work it out recently, your body was sent signals to act like the feeling was very new to it too, and it obeyed perfectly.

You actually had to stop yourself, because you were starting to feel even more hot, getting the fact you might’ve looked insane by now, even. You took a quick glance at Haechan’s face, crossing with his stare only to go blank and look away quickly. Was he sensing the inner battle you had and was disgusted? Didn’t want to be part of it? If the two of you stood there a little longer you were sure you’d make yourself cry right there. Overthinking was definitely your specialty.

“We’re super short on time, if you don’t mind splitting the presentation on your own and sending to me my parts-.”

“Yes, I can very much do that.”

“Great, see you around, then.”

“Yes.” you gave him a nod, you’re sure tho it wasn’t seen. Great, now Haechan didn’t even want to prepare the presentation with you in person.

The clock on the wall was barely audible now that the classroom was practically packed with students. Still, the only thing your hearing was focused on were the seconds that turned into minutes. Your eyes were trained on the door and your fingers would stop fidgeting the pen every time someone walked past the entrance but would get back to work every time because every person that walked through the door wasn’t Lee Haechan. Where the hell was he? You closed your eyes for a 5 second breather.

Finally, the clock reached 10 AM, one minute later the professor walked into the auditorium and closed the door right behind him.

“Glad to see you all so cheerful. Bet each and every one of you is thrilled to present your work and get the passing grades?” the young man smiled and cleared his throat, making the whole room quiet.

Again, the quiet room brought the ticking sound upon you. Tic-tac-tic-tac.

to: Haechan

Where are you? We’re 5th to present. Professor's about to start the class.

Your eyes raised at the door once again as one of the students ran in apologising for being late.

“I think I’ll just go sit in the back and let the first group prepare for the presentation?” professors eyes moved over the classroom to see the first ones to stand up. “Oh, Ms. Moon and Ms. Ong, great.” he gave Sua and her partner a nod and non-verbally invited them to the front to set up their presentation.

to: Haechan

Why the hell are you not reading my message?

Your only excuse is you’re running your legs off to get here in time for our turn.

Please?

You had to add when the message was still unread. Did he die by any chance? Overslept because he was memorising his parts till very late at night? You dialled the number - pure silence was what you were met with besides the monotonous rings on the other side of the line.

You had to breathe because not only were you starting to feel overwhelmed by the end of the third groups presentation, you were realising you had almost no time left to run through the parts Haechan was meant to present and prepare yourself at least a little.

“Hey, pst!“ your head snapped in direction of the whisper. “Where’s that little freak?“ Sua leaned over the students in front of her to hear your answer properly, but you had no words for her, you shrugged and turned away to not start bawling your eyes out in panic.

“Mr. Lee and -“ professor announced running his eyes to scan the faces of present students. “I don’t think I see Mr. Lee in here.“ His eyes landed on you, as he called out your surname. “What happened to Mr. Lee? Is he running late? Will you be okay to present on your own?”

”I think- I guess he’s running here so he’s not responding. Could we please listen to the next presentation and return to us later? Please?” The man looked at you for a good minute, probably debating if he should give you time or force you to do it now by yourself. Your teary eyes must have swayed him towards the first option and he gave you a nod, reading off the paper the next project couple.

”Okay, you’re the last one to present tonight.”

”Thank you. Thank you so much.” you trained your eyes on the papers in front of you to memorise whatever Haechan was meant to talk about on those slides. You were agonising, if only you actually put in work to put everything together instead of letting Haechan take care of everything. It felt like you gave in to the devil and now had to pay the price for giving in. Your eyes ran through words but all your brain processed was either ‘fuck you Haechan’ and ‘you better show up before the end of that class’. Actually if he showed up after all the stress you went through right now, you’d choke him right at the entrance.

Currently you were in the state where you barely remembered your own part and what was the topic of the paper at all.

He didn't come. Not when it was 20 minutes before the end of the class, not even when you had 10 minutes left and got up in front of everyone to present.

This very moment you were in the cafeteria with your head hanging low while Aeris hand soothed your back and Sua sat right next to you blabbering non-stop.

"No, I literally knew being paired up with that annoying leech would end up terrible for you. Like I had a gut feeling he's going to find a way to fuck this all up."

"Haechan literally worked his butt off for that paper, I don't think he'd just fleet like that. Must be something serious." Eunsoo pointed and you almost did agree with her, it didn't seem like Haechan wanted to dodge this class on purpose but at the same time you could never know what actually happened in that little shits head and predict his thinking was like punching air - useless.

"Yes, serious, like he has to be literally dead now for it to be serious enough excuse to dodge a presentation class like that. Did he read your texts?" Aeri patted your back for attention. You pulled out your phone to still unread messages and shook your head a no. You were slowly calming down and wished he'd pop up before you as soon as possible so you'd still have fume in you to fight.

"Hey, it wasn't that bad. You literally got an A- and presented perfectly."

"I stuttered like an idiot every 2 words." you spoke for the first time in 15 minutes making everyone relieved.

"If it was actually as bad as it seems to you you would've never gotten an A-"

"I still don't understand why you told that freak took great part in that paper with you. You had a perfect chance to pay him back but instead he gets an A while probably sleeping in his bed comfortably or some shit." Sua shook her head dissaprovingly.

"Should've made him pay for real." Aeri agreed.

"I want to dodge the next class, honestly, I wasn't prepared for that much stress in one morning."

"I can cover for you." Eunsoo suggested.

"And I can dodge the class with you." Sua cackled and Aeri suggested the same.

"I, ugh, I think I'm just gonna go home and stare at the wall and meditate." you excused yourself from the girls company and stood up.

"If you want to you can have the piece of cake in the fridge."

"That's a real sacrifice, Eunsoo, God." you chuckled and pulled yourself together. "Okay, I guess, see ya tomorrow."

"Bye, bye!"

"Don't think about that loser too much!"

As soon as your feet walked up to the disagnated floor you didnt just walk, you stormed to the needed door. Even before your feet stopped at their place, your finger was already pressing into the doorbell.

Of course, you weren't about to go back home, stare at the wall and not think that the stupid boy that stirred your insides for the past couple of weeks suddenly faded like he was never there. He was very much there and he was very much invested in getting a good grade. You heard some shuffling behind the door and as it opened you stared at the boy that never stopped you wondering how can you hate someone even more than you hated them the day before.

"Jesus fucking christ." He exclaimed and pulled your hand off the door bell. "Why the hell you're ringing the bell like that. I'm no Sonic." he let go of your wrist to walk back in, expecting you to do the same.

"So you're not dead, after all." you snorted to yourself and walked in.

"Were there any signs?"

"Are you going to pretend like you didn't miss 100s of my calls and messages and didn't skip the very important class we had to present at?"

"Oh? That was scheduled for today?" he opened his mouth in shock, closing it with his palm afterwards. He was obviously sarcastic.

"You're a psycho." You crossed arms on your chest, not planning to walk in any further into his place.

"Why?"

"You skipped our presentation without a notice."

"Maybe I just really wanted you to realise how much you need me." Haechan pressed his shoulder against the wall and smiled at you with that sweet-sweet smile he could only muster when he wanted to be out of this world annoying.

"You're fucking vicious."

"Why?" he batted his eyelashes.

"I-." you swallowed. You really wanted to scream at him, get into a fight or maybe just be mean and rude and then leave but on your way here that bubbling rage inside of you cooled down a little and you just wanted to know what the fuck was wrong with him to act this way. "Why did I even think for a split second that I can rely on you or that we finally are understanding each other a little bit? You're just out of this world psychotic and I will never ever again agree on doing anything with you. Like even that thing we had going on - it's over. I don't want you lay a single finger on me after that stress you put me through." You wanted to say more but he was quiete and almost dead with the face expression so you decided on turning around and walking away. "oh, by the way, I got you an A so don't you worry bout your grades baby boy." you let him know before walking out and smashing the door after.

When you smashed that door you hoped whole heartedly he'd pull you back in by the wrist and explain himself like all those male leads in romcoms do. And you would fotgive him and he'd pull you into a hug and give you that very much wanted kiss you've been thinking of for the past few weeks. You were in fact ready to forgive him when you walked up to his place if only he put in effort to explain, you were to be honest already partially relieved when you saw him alive and well.

But he didn't make a single sound from behind that door and before you walked back down those stairs you decided you'd act out on your pathetic thoughts and slow down with those steps. What if he was putting on some clothes before chasing you down? Or tying his shoe laces before he could walk out. You waited a little bit longer, before it turned way beyond the limits of pathetic behaviour you set. You had to leave and actually get back home.

Act like you weren't affected by his behavior, change of his mood and the mixed signals that were coming from him. You had to act in front of Eunsoo like Haechan didn't affect you deeply and all your thoughts were centered around him.

You couldn't possibly stop yourself thinking if he took your words seriously or he'd figure you were angry and didn't actually mean you didn't want a single finger of his on you, because if he'd reach out first you knew you would not ignore him.

"You're actually lucky you dipped." Eunsoo walked into your room, arms pulling off the hoodie she wore outside. "Can I sit?" the girl asked pointing at your bed.

You nodded, scooping your books to one side of the bed. You decided that studying would be helpful for your brain to stop pacing from one thing to the other but you were proven wrong about an hour ago but still stared into those books like they were about to give in.

"Haechan didn't show up for the rest of the day. Were you successful in finding out what the hell happened with him?"

"No." you shrugged nonchalantly. "I couldn't care less for his reasons. It's for sure the very last time we're working on something together. I mean, worked."

"It's just weird, maybe I'm overthinking." Eunsoo sighed and rested her head on her palm.

"It is indeed weird." you were trying to understand the girl that was sitting on your bed. Was she just talking to you, did she want you to talk out all the shit you had on your mind about Haechan or she knew something and wanted to dig in further out of pure curiosity. "I'm maybe glad I didn't see him at my peak rage cause I'm sure he would've walked away injured." Eunsoo giggled with her mouth hidden behind her other palm.

"I hope you'll completely let go of this ridiculous situation by Friday and will enjoy the party like the queen of unbotherness that you are."

"What party?" you furrowed your eyebrows for a second before your heart dropped down to your feet. "That catamaran thing Jeno's arranging?" That Haechan is totally attending and totally is not going to reach out to you at as he promised before he would.

"He actually sent me the pics. It's a little better than a catamaran." Eunsoo commented after a chuckle, reaching out for her phone to show you the pics. "Jeno said there's a big outside area."

"Very suitable for the season." You smirked.

"Well, it's still pretty warm, I think a lot of padding will save us. And a big enough inside area for dancing, food and other fun things."

"Fun things like what?"

"Games, I don't know, quiz, whatever comes into his mind. Jeno actually isn't that good with stuff like that so I'm wondering a little what all of this going to look like." she showed you a picture of a massive looking tourist boat, yacht, ship? You couldn't really work out what was the right name for that. "Okay, it's not really a catamaran like. I'll take my words back." You smiled honestly impressed. "Wait, how many people are coming? This feels like an expensive thing to rent."

"Jeno's dad is a best friend to the owner of the company that owns those boats. He's paying almost nothing, so we're lucky for a friend like Jeno." she beamed.

"We-, sure." You couldn't hold back a laugh. You weren't sure you ever had even a simple conversation with Jeno before.

"What?" Eunsoo chewed on her cheek probably finally realising she was smiling all the time she was tlaking about Jeno. Not sus at all, you swallowed.

"You do realise I most likely know none of those people invited except for you and Sua and Aeri."

"You know Haechan."

"I'm definitely far from knowing him." you rolled both your eyes at her words. Even if you thought before you did, it's all gone now.

"Well, you two were off to a good start, before... today, you know." She scratched her brow, suddenly getting off your bed. "Ugh, I'm gonna heat up some rice and fry an egg. You want some?"

"Yes please, thank you." You smiled, watching Eunsoo fade behind the door.

Off to a good start, you thought to yourself and almost pulled the hair from your head.

You had a feeling you should not go. You could name a whole damn list of reasons you should just not attend the party stay at home and watch a movie, read a book, listen to a podcast - the list literally goes on, but there were 2 reasons that were strong enough to influence you to come:

1. You would not allow Haechan to think you skipped the party because you were mad at him;

2. It turned out you were pretty weak when it came to resisting Haechan, you couldn't allow yourself to be in bed for the evening, thinking and wondering if Haechan was there, what was he wearing, what did he smell like today and if he would see you would he let the two of you fall back to complete strangers or make a move?

That's why currently you were standing next to Eunsoo in an elevator that was taking you downstairs. A maxi dress with fitted silhouette in mesh with long sleeves, gathered waist, mock neck and all over pattern in dark dusty blue color hugged your body. You didn't really want to dress all out but the dress was giving warm and secured so you just put it on, getting approving nods from the girl next to you.

"I am not letting you come back home without securing Jeno, like I'm being completely serious right now. I don't understand why he's acting like he's blind. If he's not going to drool over you tonight I'm going to punch some sence into him." you giggled "I'm so tired of watching you two beating around the bush."

"We're not!" Eunsoo protested on her way out of the elevator.

"I'm sure he wanted me there so I'd be your wingman."

"Shut up, for real." Eunsoo rolled her eyes at you.

You quickly got into the taxi that awaited the two of you in front of the building. Soon enough you were on the little ladder that connected pier and the boat. A man helped everyone get safely inside of the boat, you guessed it was the captain. As soon as you entered, violet neon light cut your eyes a little as the blackness of the outside contrasted with lighting much. Jeno stood right at the entrance beaming a smile at everyone that entered.

"Welcome to the Jeno boat, we're about to take you on the best ride in your life." Jeno's eyes immediately glued to Eunsoo, not giving a single glance to you.

"I hope the best boat ride in my life will not end up the way your last party ended." You had to swallow to prevent yourself from laughing. Spotting a bar and Sua right next to it, you didn't even need to excuse yourself, you walked away unnoticed by the two, booing Sua as she reached for the drink placed in front of her by the bartender.

"Boo!" you exclaimed, placing your palm on the girls waist.

"Damn!" She exclaimed first annoyed as her drink almost spilled, turning around to probably swear at you, before she processed it was you, her friend. Sua's eyes ran all over your outfit, her tone completely changing. "Damn girl!" She giggled, placing the drink back at the bar table, reaching out for your palm to twirl you in front of her. You twirled like she wanted you to and made a cute pose as a killing point. "What a pretty dress and what a pretty girl. Want to hook up?" Sua shouted to be louder than the music playing with her brows as she leaned into you, with a voice that she probably considered flirtatious but was just giving away it wasn't her first drink of the night.

"What you're having?" you peeked at the drink behind the girl.

"A Pina colada. This one's actually one of the best ones on the menu. I've tried a few other cocktails."

"Off to a great start." You giggled, ordering the same drink.

"Oh." Sua made a sound staring at the entrance and you almost asked her what was up but you heard the loudest scream and giggles after and by all those noises it was impossible for you to not acknowledge Haechan's presence. You considered turning around and checking out his appearance but you weren't still done proseccing his total black outfit from weeks ago and seeing whatever he was wearing now would probably make you weak in the knees.

The bartender handed you your Pina colada, you taking a sip of the drink immediately.

"It does taste good." You gasped at Sua that was finishing off her glass by now.

"See, I told you it's good. Like, really good, I'm impressed." She giggled and took a look at the bartender "Two more, please." The girl probably caught your shocked stare "for you and me." She added.

"Thank you. Want to take a walk outside?" You smiled, you didn't want to turn around and find Haechan somewhere behind you. You wanted to exit the same area he was in and prepare yourself to actually face him. In addition, you did come there to hang out with your friends and specifically give the boy zero attention. You were trying to keep things as they were planned. You had a little bit of an anxious break down because you had a gut feeling once you turn around you'll get caught by him and he'll tease you till your very last day on earth.

"Yeah, sure. More people coming in. I think, everyone by now must be here." Sua stated, making you turn around quickly, seeing no one in a span of a second. Still you spotted there was indeed more people than before. "Oh, I spotted Aeri." She jumped in place excited, waving at the girl that most definitely couldn't see her yet. "Wait here and get our drinks. I'm going to bring Aeri here." You gave Sua a nod as she took off.

The bartender placed both full glasses in front of you in a minute and as more people were gathering around the bar it was harder to stay there and keep your drinks safe. You could feel the boat start moving in a bit and to confirm your assumption you heard a wild noise coming from Jeno. A very loud 'let's go' that was perfectly heard by you even through the music. You had to turn around because it was too much of a temptation to see what mess he was up to. Well, for now, the mess weren't really there, he scooped his closest friends around him, taking all of them at once to the bar. You had to be blind to not see Haechan under Jeno's right arm. He had to bent his back a little to fit in. As he was smiling widely, showing off his perfectly white teeth, eyes disappearing in pure joy. His hair seemed a little messy, like he didn't style it at all, got out of the shower and let them dry naturally. You had a feeling if you'd touch his hair you'd be able to tell if he blow dried them or not. Haechan wore a graphic t-shirt with a zip up black hoodie and a leather jacket. Skinny black jeans that he wore showed off his skinny built, finishing off the look with his casual white trainers. You had to force yourself to blink to not look crazy.

The boys were chatting and as the tone of their voices got seemingly lower you couldn't even guess what they were saying. Haechan freed himself of Jeno's hold, reaching for the menu on the other side of the bar. You turned away, watching Sua and Aeri approach you.

"Hey." Aeri reached out to hug you. "I see that freaky company is already starting their madness." she rolled her eyes.

"If Jeno's here, where's Eunsoo?" you asked, sincerely curios. You weren't able to see Eunsoo from where you were standing.

"She's at the entrance with a girl that took economics with her. Apparently they've got some serious business discussion." Aeri pointed with her hands where you guessed she last saw your mutual friend.

"Okay." you gave her a nod, trying really hard to not stare to the side all the noise was coming from. The whole place was pretty chill, Jeno's friends or most likely acquaintances filled up the improvised dance floor. There was maybe 50 people, probably even more. You couldn't imagine Jeno knowing all of them. You never saw like 90% of these people before, you wondered if every friend brought a friend and a long chain of people showed up here without knowing who people surrounding them were.

You wondered if Haechan brought anyone too to fill up the cost of the trip or what if he really did bring someone because they were his friend, because they were close and he wanted to see them here? You were jealous because you obviously weren't one of the people he wanted to see here.

When Aeri finally got her drink from the bartender that was finally freed from Jeno's besties order, Sua, Aeri and you walked outside, greeted by the breezy wind. Thankfully, lots of blankets were piled up on one of the stools, the three of you immediately covering yourself in multiple layers of those.

"There's even comfortable outside seating." You exclaimed, quickly moving your limbs over to the leather couch with multiple pillows. "I wonder if those pillows were ever at risk of being thrown away into the sea." you chuckled, making yourself comfortable and making room for your friends.

"I bet these are sewed onto this." Sua dropped herself next to you, pulling onto the pillow.

"Wow they are indeed sewed into this couch." You giggled like it was insanely funny to you. It really wasn't, just the 2nd Pina colada on an empty stomach was making your head spin a little.

"It's making me sick a little." Aeri stared into the water that foamed from under the motor. "If you look for too long its kinda starting to make you sick."

"Don't look." Sua laughed, pulling onto Aeris hand.

"Fine." the girl turned to look at the two of you hidden under the blankets, fingers peeking from under them to hold onto Pina coladas. "Were you able to take a glance at all the guests? Any interesting faces?"

"I couldn't see anyone besides Jeno that greeted Eunsoo and I. More like he greeted her and then he got tunnel vision and I ran away to Sua. That's it. I know nobody here except for Jeno's circle. "

"I heard Jeno's bestie Jaemin brought his girlfriend for the first time to meet his boys." Sua cleared her throat before speaking.

"Sweet." Aeri cooed in unison with you.

"People are saying Jeno threw the party so his friend could confess feelings to someone."

"Who? Jaemin to that girl?"

"I guess." Aeri shrugged.

"Look! The moon!" Sua pointed at the sky, making you jump in your sit with the unexpected loudness.

"It looks like a full moon." Aeri commented.

"It's not. It's waning moon, full moon was yesterday."

"Hi Mr.Moon." you giggled, stretching out a hand from the blanket to wave at the sky.

"Hi." Both Aeri and Sua sang.

"Are you three talking to the moon?" Eunsoo forced the three of you turn around to the entrance door. "How many drinks each of you had?" She laughed, walking up to you.

"Not that many." Aeri protested, more on her behalf than yours and definitely not Sua's.

"You three should come back inside, it's warmer there and they're about to play your favorite song, Aeri."

"What?" Aeri exclaimed like she was cut deeply. "And I'm here staring at the water bubbles battling my wish to throw up?" The girl laughed and stood up immediately. "Sua?" the girl suggested.

"I'm kinda having fun right here." Sua smiled like a Cheshire cat.

"Come on, I thought you two would be right in the center of that dancing pit setting the whole party up." Eunsoo pulled onto Sua's hand making the girl stand up too. Sua placed her half empty glass on something plasticy that seemed like a great storing surface at first. Aeri linked her arm with Sua's, taking the girl back inside in pure silence

"I'm kinda offended." You giggled, looking at Eunsoo that took Sua's place. "Did you not expect me to pump up the party?"

"I did!" Your friend protested weakly. "I actually wanted to tell you something."

"Does this have to do anything with Jeno?" You perked up your ears, gossip was one of the things that made you dead excited. You sipped onto the Pina colada that you tried really hard to not finish off.

"Yeah, kinda." Eunsoo smiled shyly. "Wait, I didn't even have a single drink yet, I'll go get myself one before we talk."

"Sure." you giggled " i'll be right here." Eunsoo nodded with a giggle. "get me one too, please." you shouted as the girl was reaching the door, making sure she did actually hear you.

You closed your eyes for a second, focusing your hearing on the loud music blasting inside. It was really loud and tempting, you did want to come back there and have fun with your friends as soon as Eunsoo spills her secrets. It took her a little longer than you expected to return to you and by the time it felt like it was maybe 10 minutes since she left you started to doubt if she'd even return to you at all. It kinda felt nice, the more you drank the less you were worried about Haechan, so you downed the drink in your hand to take the one Sua left behind.

Finally, you heard the door open once again and the lonely steps signalled that it must be Eunsoo. You opened your eyes only when by your calculations she was about to stand right next to you, ready to reach out your hand for the drink when your smile faded completely as your vision worked out the person in front of you.

Haechan was still smiling at you despite your face dropping completely. There wasn't a chance he couldn't read the room, not understand that you didn't want him here or you dreaded breathing the same air as him. That's the main reason you were spending your time here, outside.

"Can I sit?"

"No." you replied firmly, looking away. Your eyes focused on the inside of your glass as you took a sip.

"Please?"

"No." you stated once again, challenging him with a stare.

"I-ugh, I'm sorry, I'm going to disobey." Haechan scrunched his nose, taking a little glance around and sitting down.

"I'm waiting for my friends!" you protested, moving your body into the farthest corner from where Harchan seated himself.

"Okay, I'm just going to sit here wait for your friends with you."

"I don't want your company."

"I know." Haechan reached out his hand to you palm up. You didn't understand if he expected you to hold it or what was the intention of the gesture, but you ignored it. "You look very pretty tonight, if you don't mind me saying. I wish you didn't have to hide here because of me." your head snapped in his direction. You were so exasperated it took you a good second to start talking.

"I'm not hiding here. Not from you or because of you, of all people." you tried really hard to sound scandalised, to not sound like you were exposed and hurt and very much curios why did he come here and where he wanted to take this.

"Good, because it kinda felt like it-"

"It's not." You didn't let him finish his nonsense.

"Okay. I know you're mad at me, it's obvious. I did screw you up skipping our presentation day." Your eyes glued to Haechan's side while his attention was glued to his own fingers. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." Haechan moved his eyes to your face, catching you off guard.

"Okay." you gulped before replying.

"I'm really thankful you got me an A even though I made you all stressed out like that." Haechan lowered his voice, teasing his lower lip between his teeth.

"Okay." you nodded quietly not being able to tell him how careless he was and all the things you were practicing because you most definitely was one step away from voicing to him your desires and smashing your lips against his, with the way his teeth were teasing that lower lip.

"Come on, talk to me." The hand that reached out for you before now was gripping carefully onto your knee for attention "If I'm not seeing things that aren't there..." he paused probably picking out words to say, your heart went on pause too. "I probably made you hella confused, I'm so sorry. Whatever I made you think is right." you couldn't find words to talk back so Hyuck continued after a pause "See? I'm trying hard to get over my pride and say I'm sorry. Can't you do the same for me?" Haechan's fingers flexed on your knee.

"I don't have to be sorry for anything." you pressed "If you wanted to say that I was right when I felt like you couldn't care less about me and I wasn't one bit someone worth at least noticing of your plans in advance then thank you for confirmation, I guessed that by now without your help." You tried to shake away his hand off your body. You were feeling a little too warm under his touch.

"I didnt mean that you need to say sorry to me, only the pride part. You really don't want to make it easier for me, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." You moved your body more against the back rest, crossing your arms over your chest, your drink close to your mouth. The pineapple smell made you thirsty, you took a sip. If Eunsoo ever planned on coming back it's better she returned with a whole damn tray of drinks with the time it took her, you thought.

Haechans finger still rested over your knee like they were meant to be there. It made you mad a little, that you didn't force him to put it away immediately and now the Haechan fever was spreading over your body.

You reached out a hand, peeling each of his fingers off your knee. Haechan's fingers were freezing, if you weren't mad you would've suggested him a blanket. As soon as he gave in and allowed you to take his hand in yours you reached to take it back to his lap. You wanted to let go as soon as you reached his lap and hide behind the blanket but instead you were caught in claws formed by Hyucks fingers. He forced your palm to rest against his lower stomach, not letting you to win the battle the two of you suddenly had.

"Let go." You tried to sound threatening.

"Not until you're forgiving me."

"Then you'll have to freeze to death and I'll watch you drown in the ocean, Jack." you smarted.

"It's a river, Rose." he cackled, always being ready for a comeback.

"Shut up, I know." You tried to pull your hand out of his hold as it felt like he loosened his grip, but as soon as he could feel you move his hand pressed yours back against his stomach.

Your other hand still held onto the glass and you downed whatever was in there to free your hand.

"I know you know." Haechan smiled warmly at you. You looked at him a little confused, was it the Pina colada or the way his fingers were gripping onto yours? "Are you done with your drink?" the boys finger pointed at the empty glass in your hand. "I'll take it, okay?" Reaching out the next moment to take the glass from you.

You watched Haechan place the glass back to where Sua stored it before. He moved slowly, like he had all the time in the world. You wondered if anyone will eventually walk out that door to have a smoke break or if Jeno will look for Haechan to set you free. Or Sua, or Aeri, or literally anyone. You still had a little hope Eunsoo will remember she wanted to share her news with you and return.

You were buzzing a little inside if you were honest to yourself. Haechan did find you himself, he did say he's sorry, he did hold your hand like he wanted for you two to be closer. Still, he didn't really say anything besides he was sorry. It wasn't enough for you to get your guard down, to let him play you like he wanted to.

"You can let go of my hand, it's not like I'm going to run away from here anyway." you said calmly. You had that warm aura under the blanket, it was pitch black outside but the lights from the inside were making the dim light come through to where the two of you were sitted. Same for the music, you could still hear pretty clearly the muffled sound coming from the inside. It made you reminisce a little about that time Haechan took you out. You moved your eyes onto his face features. Haechan's face softened too as he saw you relax more. You wondered if he thought of that time too, how he rested his head on your lap and made you run your fingers through his hair. If he'd ask you to do that now, you wouldn't mind agreeing.

"Promise?" You gave him a slight nod. "I want us to go back what we had."

"I-" your face dropped a little as the words left his mouth, he clearly felt that as his face expression mirrored yours. He was putting effort for you to allow him the sex he talked about. "I'm not going to sleep with you." you pulled your hand out of his grip, finally.

"I mean to what we had for the last couple of weeks. When we were partners in the project and friends." Your head snapped back in Haechan's direction. "I mean it. I want to be your friend." you blinked at him wordlessly. You felt a little too warm under all those blankets while Haechans ears were seemingly turning pink from the cold outside. You reached out to him with no sound at all, lifting up his palm the moment he realised you were reaching out to him. You ignored the gesture once again, moving up to feel the temperature of his nose and ears with the back of your hand.

"You're freezing. You'll get sick." you half whispered, taking all those blankets off your body. As you sat straight and gathered all the blankets left behind by girls you had to get on your knees on the couch as the dress you were wearing was way too narrow on the legs and didn't allow you to move however you wanted to. "I can share a blanket with a friend." you added quitly, bitting onto your lips afterwards as you busied yourself with covering Haechan who you could tell with your side vision bit into his cheek, staring at you intently.

"Honestly..." Haechan brought your attention to his lips, while your hands reached to his chest with a blanket "You look very pretty tonight..." You pressed your palms against Haechan's chest when you felt his palm very up your thigh, you could feel his fingers tight on your bum. Your heart hitched, you needed immediate medical help but all you got is Haechan’s tightened grip as he felt your body lose balance and give in to him a little "Like, saying this as a friend, very pretty." he added, moving his hand up onto your waist to prove to you it was a friendly gesture indeed. Like he was just trying to help you keep your balance.

"Thank you." you gulped, reaching out to put one more blanket over the boys body, when you felt a little like giving in. It didn't really have to be all the way him, you felt like you had to give him something too. You couldn't really process your own thoughts let alone processing whatever was happening between you two. You sat back down onto your knees next to Haechan, smoothing out the blanket like a caring person over a sick someone. Haechan watched you intently, it almost felt like he could see the thought process inside you, not moving and giving you all the time you needed. You leaned in to him slowly, Haechan's hand sliding up your back the closer you got to him. Your eyes ran over his features, he was as attractive as you could remember him being that day you felt for the first time that he can be attractive. You thought back for a second and wondered if that day even was the first time you thought about him in that way.

You moved one of the hands that supported you from Haechan's chest onto his cheek. You really wanted to caress his cheek like that since that time he rested his head on your lap. You ran the fingers up the skin and it felt even softer than what you imagined. Haechan smiled under your touch, sincerely, you could feel that because you just witnessed him being sincerely happy with his friends. You were feeling overwhelmed with the fact he was right under you, open to anything you would suggest and do. He never felt more real and sincere than now even though he wasn't saying anything at all. You could feel your ears burn with everything you felt for Lee Haechan. His hand that now rested at the back of your neck didn't give you any pressure at all. It felt like it was there just in case you were about to dissappear and he'd catch you.

You pecked the corner of his lips quicker than he would be able to process it, quicker than you were able to process it yourself. Haechan's head moved in your direction as you were pulling away, he tried to catch your lips with his but you paced away and he let you move as far as you wanted to.

"I want more." He whined, moving his other hand onto your waist.

"As a friend?" you mused, feeling his hand crawl from the back of your neck to grip onto your face.

"Yeah, as a friend." he smiled even more, his palm now pulling you closer to him. You gave in kissing the other corner of Haechan's mouth. His eyes closed, letting you know he liked it. You smiled to yourself, you've seen Haechan at the peak of pleasure numerous times but somehow the face expression he made now made you the happiest. You pecked his jaw, peppering more confident kisses all the way down his neck, Haechan's fingers still holding onto your face in the process.

"Straddle me." he groaned, as you raised your head to wet your lips.

"My dress's too tight, I can't." your pointing finger touched his neck softly where the lipstick stain was visible, Haechan's skin reacted to the touch, sending chills to the back of his neck.

"Why'd you wear something like that..." Haechan looked you in the eyes. "Always trying to make things harder for me, even with the clothes you wear. Right, baby?" you held back a gasp the very last moment before it escaped your throat. It must've looked terrifying from Haechan's perspective, your face expression, like you were about to pass out just at the sudden pet name once again. You froze a little because it was hard for you to process the next steps. Haechan on the other hand moved under you, freeing his body of all those blankets you carefully placed on his body not that long ago. His legs spread more and you sat back on your heels to not get in his way and watched what he was up to. He pulled himself more against the backrest, trying to pull the pillow behind him to the side and making you giggle.

"These are sewed on this."

"Shit." Haechan swallowed a laugh, suddenly grabbing onto your thighs to guide you next to him on the other side of his body. His hand guarded your neck from the uncomfortable pillow-less side of the couch, comfortably wrapping around your body. His other hand guided your legs over his thigh and covered the both of you with the blankets. You kept your body a little distanced from Haechan, at least it's upper part. It only felt comfortable to rest your head on his chest, so you did that, making the both of you closer than before. Haechan slid his hand down to hug your waist and both your hands locked round his neck. It felt a bit surreal if you were to think about it, you were volunteerely snuggling with Lee Haechan of all people, at a party.

Haechan was finally done with piling back onto you all those blankets, creeping up a hand onto your cheek. It quite literally felt like a fever dream. Feeling Haechan's fingers on your freezing skin, while staring into your eyes so sweetly and deeply. Your heart skipped a bit when he licked his lips suddenly, making it feel like he'd lean in and kiss you now. He didn't, though, and it really felt like a teasing contest and despite both contestants very clearly dying to touch each other's lips and get lost in each other, they held back with the very last strings of sanity and didn't want to lose that competition. Haechan's fingers ran through your cheek consistently, you would've purred if he'd kiss you in reward.

"I feel dizzy." Haechan commented, breaking the silence between you two. Dear lord, if only the boy knew how dizzy you felt from keeping yourself composed.

"Are you sea sick? Did you have too many drinks?" you blabbered. It was a little too clear he didn't feel actually sick.

"No I'm dizzy because of you." He voiced out what you were feeling, you were so overwhelmed with his presence and his warmth and the fact he smelled so good and so... dear to your heart, your fingers pulled his neck more against your face. Haechan moved more, getting his lips against your cheek.

"I need you to know, I like you so much." his lips pressed against your cheek as he said it, making his nose press against you aswell. You felt like he entirely pushed you more against his body. You needed medical help, immediately. Your heart wasn't used to this sort of emotions.

"Shut up." you shot back immediately to hide the gasp that exceeded you, instead of a thought thrugh answer. You didn't expect him to be so blatant after all the pining you've put yourself through, you would've never guessed he'd say something like that. But then again, you were constantly proven you can never know what will be Haechan's next move.

"I'm serious." he pressed and forced your eyes to find his.

"How much did you have to drink?" you tried to back out. It was so terribly difficult for you to jump over the metaphorical wall so suddenly, let him know verbally that everything he felt was mutual. Surprisingly you turned out to be more stubborn in that sence than Haechan himself.

"I didn't have a single drink, which I know is not in any way relatable to you. Still, I'm not able to get your guard completely down and have your heart open for me." Your eyes ran down his neck and chest.

"It is, open." you mumbled. "I... you can clearly tell everything is the same for me? Don't make me struggle." Your fingers played with the fabric of his shirt on the shoulder, while your brain fought back and didn't let you say you liked Haechan even more than he could've imagined.

"Look me in the eyes, at least." He whispered and your eyes moved back to his face but were unable to focus on them. Haechan moved his head towards you at the same time and the second you caught up with his actions you felt his lips on yours.

Something between a moan and a cry exceeded your mouth. Your hands gripped immediately onto his neck with force, even if Haechan intended on keeping the kiss sweet and slow he quickly scratched those intentions when he could feel how badly you needed him.

He felt just like that last kiss that lingered on your lips for weeks. You loved his lips like that, warm, plump and all yours. He clearly was more than ready to speed up the pace and once it was clear the two of you were on the same page, Haechan deepend the kiss. He sucked on your lower lip, slowly turning you onto your back. He clearly forgot about your dress situation, trying to place himself between your legs.

Haechan's hand carefully held the back of your head to not hurt you from the solid armrests of the couch. Your tongues started a battle that was impossible to win. Haechan's other hand firmly gripped onto your waist, while his leg finally was able to get between yours. You almost found it in you to worry about the dress getting ruined and stretched out but you felt Haechan's mouth leave yours and the sudden breath of fresh air made yourself even more dizzy than before. You lost all the thoughts in your brain.

Your fingers ran through the boys hair, brushing the strands back and making a whole mess in place of his hairstyle. Haechan leaned back to peck your lips, then lowering his lips to your neck. You tightened your fingers in his locks, forcing a purr from his throat, that happend to land on your neck. Your hips moved against his thigh unconsciously, making yourself heated in a whole different way.

"Haechan." you half moaned. His tongue played with the skin of your neck, drawing tiny lines and sucking it in with his lips. As his chin moved the fabric of the dress lower down your skin, Haechan's licks and sucks became more aggressive, in addition with little bites you could feel him suck in a hickey at the base of your neck.

Your center rubbed against his thigh unconsciously, while you were shivering under his touch, creating friction for Haechan as well.

"This is just a little reminder in case you're black out drunk and won't remember what boundaries we overstepped." he pecked the skin that must've been red and moved his face back in front of yours.

"I am not." you smiled at him and let go of his hair to hold his cheeks between your hands. They felt so soft, so velvety, and the way you squeezed them between your palms made him look like the softest person ever.

"Then it's for me to know it wasn't just a fever dream." You smiled at him even wider, pulling his head closer and pecking his lips. Haechan kissed you back slowly, rubbing his body against yours in a very lazy manner. His mouth left yours, hiding his face against your neck, closer to your ear and nibbling on the skin there. It felt so good to have his body weight pressing you down that outside couch. You couldn't care less if someone was about to come outside, even if they did you wouldn't be able to move yourself an inch away from Haechan's body. Your only regret was that neither of you had magical powers so you'd be able to move to your bedroom this very moment and be able to have each other for the rest of the night.

"Kiss me more." you whispered needy. Even you were dreading the clothing choice by now, you needed his touch, you needed the feeling of his skin on yours, anything that would make you a little more closer to him would do.

You were starting to get greedy, only recently you thought you'd die just from the kissing and now you needed more and more.

Haechan raised his head and smashed his lips against yours, smirking for a slight second beforehand.

"So needy for my kisses and just a week ago you acted like you never wanted to kiss me." he mumbled into your mouth.

Haechan's body grinded against yours with full force now and you couldn't possibly ignore him getting hard on top of you. You definitely weren't about to have sex on the outside terrace of the boat and you hoped he didn't think of that either. You had to find power in you to stop before it got painful for him.

"Haechan-ah." you moved your head back only to be followed and caught with his lips once again. "Baby?" you placed your palms on his chest, pushing the boy away. You tried the pet name to get his attention and it clearly worked. Your own heart did a flip, you couldn't imagine what he felt, you definitely smashed a few layers of bricks on your metaphorical wall with a cannonball "Don't you think we need to slow down?" you asked softly, directing your eyes between your bodies. You felt like Haechan's cock twitched in his pants.

"Right." he cleared his throat and pushed his weight off your body, extending his arms to keep the distance. He stared at you for a good second, leaning back to peck you quickly. "I do need to cool down a little." you gave him a nod and watched him get up with a smile. You sat back on the couch, Haechan making himself comfortable right next to you. His pants did look terribly uncomfortable on him now, you noticed and you were hoping the cool wind would help him calm down quickly because it wasn't like you wanted to give him a blowjob in the middle of a party. Or more like maybe you did, but not right here in a public setting and besides that you wouldn't let him know even that you had the thought, he'd get even more excited than before.

"I'm sorry, I should've pulled you off me the moment I felt you." You moved closer and rested your chin on his shoulder. "Do you need a blanket?" you asked, Haechan's head turning in response and getting too close to you to resist to kiss him. Before he could answer you closed that centimetre between you and pecked his lips quickly.

"No, I need the calm down, don't kiss me." he grunted in a cute way.

"It's just a peck." you tried to hold back a smile.

"It's your needy stare and your lips on mine and everything else and I don't think I'm going to calm down while you're here."

"So you're excited just by presence?" you teased.

"Very much." He replied coolly.

"I'm never eating sugar again."

"Why?" he furrowed his eyebrows confused.

"Sugar combined with the new side of your personality will probably give me diabetes." you smiled at him expectantly, Haechan giggled, hiding his face in his palms.

"You're so stupid." he shook his head in his hands. "You're very lucky I'm blinded by love otherwise I would've booed you."

"It was a good joke." you mumbled, trying really hard to act nonchalantly at his words. Blinded by love, was he about to say he loved you right on that couch too? You were feeling sick to your stomach.

It got quiet between you two once again, you wondered what he thought of to calm himself down. You were just enjoying the comfortable silence right next to the boy you liked.

You sneaked your hand in the space between his arm and his thigh, facing it upward and extending your arm further, for Haechan to properly see it in his lap and be able to interact with it. You rested your cheek against his shoulder once again.

You were very much thankful for the cool breeze outside because your palm was currently sweating and the nerversness was crawling up your throat. You hoped the gesture was clear enough for him to act on it, but you closed your eyes in case of failure. Haechan shuffled under you and you opened your eyes to see what he was doing, and he was looking at you, bending his neck given your current position.

Once he saw you look back at him his head turned back to look down his lap, where your hand was. You couldn't feel how you started to bite your lip in nervousness but you could very clearly feel Haechan's freezing cold palm land on yours. You opened your fingers and as he did the same, you interwind your palms. His grip was tight around your fingers and you did the same, letting him know you were serious about it. Haechan forced your hands up and to his lips, kissing the back of your palm. You wrinkled your face in relieve, even though it seemed more like you were in pain, and kissed his shoulder.

He then proceeded to fall back against the backrest and you did the same, hands still in each other's hold. You sat hand in hand for a little while, feeling so good next to him without any excessive intimacy. You couldn't remember when or how both of you started kissing again. The kiss wasn't as passionate as before, the both of you filled that longing and now both your brains knew it ain't going to be the same as before, you won't have to hold back your feelings. You kissed steadily, Haechan's thumb slowly caressing your palm in his hold.

"We should go back." you mumbled through the kiss. "Your friends and my friends must be looking for us."

"They clearly aren't." he giggled. You smiled and couldn't agree more. You probably spent outside at least two hours, in which there was no signs of Eunsoo, the girl that promised to get you a drink.

"What if someone walks in on us being too explicit?"

"No one will, besides, i don't think we're in any way explicit by now."

"How'd you know? The doors are open. You're just lying to me, right?"

"No, Jeno keeps everyone occupied."

"You're lying?"

"I'm being serious, I'm not going to lie to you anymore."

"So you'll tell me why you skipped our presentation?" you voiced out the question you wanted to ask him for a while now.

"I-" he sighed like he was suddenly tired "Can I not?" he asked softly.

"No, you really hurt me. If we want to go further, I want to know why."

"It was the trial day for that stupid case. I totally forgot about it because I was with you all the time but Jeno texted me if I'm going to be on time the next day and I was so confused." Haechan trailed off, looking into the water, like he didn't want to tell you the bad news and you blinked multiple times to not get yourself worked up.

"What were you sentenced to?" You asked concerned but moreover scared. You were so scared it'd be something bad it'll break your heart.

"My case was closed for lack of evidence." You sighed loudly, not even trying to hide from him you were relieved. "I didn’t steal anything and I was clean because I was with you when they were doing shit..." Haechan looked you in the eyes again, squeezing your palm. "Its thanks to you I am here today with no probation period or some other shit. They made me come as a witness, but I don't really know anything and even if I did I would've never said a thing."

"I'm so glad you're fine." you let him know.

"I know. I should really stay next to you to stay out of trouble." you smirked and then giggled and hid your face in the crook of his neck next. Haechan stared at you teasingly and you couldn't resist running away from those eyes.

"Okay, maybe we should come back inside." you gave him a nod against his skin. "Can we stay close to each other for the rest of the night?"

"I have to see my friends too tho." you rose your head up to see him.

"And tell them all about me?" he smirked and you couldn't stop thinking how attractive he looked that very moment.

"No, Sua doesn't really like you. I have to prepare her before saying anything" You came up with the mildest version you could at the spot. You didn't want to make him upset and tell him neither of them seemed to like the idea of Haechan right next to you and you weren't in the mental state yet to explain to them everything. Or explain anything to him, it felt perfectly enough for you to just have this little secret between you two.

"But you do?" Haechan let go of your hand to enjoy your reply.

"Shut up." you teased, forcing yourself to unglue from the boy and stend up. It's needless to say it was a difficult task to finish.

Now that you could feel how breezy it was outside you wanted to just fall back into the warmth Haechan shared with you. You turned around checking out the boy that still sat on the couch, giving you a blank stare.

"You're staying here?"

"I'll follow behind." he smiled and watched you take a step away.

"Okay." you gave him a nod and walked away further, turning away to properly walk inside. You were getting cold with how long it was taking you to walk back in. As your feet almost brought you inside you turned around with the door half opened. Watching Haechan get up and walk around the couch towards you. His eyes were set on his phone and he probably thought you were already inside, when you ran back to him, catching him off guard mid-way.

"I need you to know too, that I like you a lot." you said in one breath, holding on to his waist. Haechan beamed a smile and you couldn't resist smiling back. His fingers quickly found your cheeks to hold you in place for a quick kiss before you finally turned around and walked back in, scanning the room for Sua, Eunsoo and Aeri.

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sp1d3rzz · 2 months

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The Devil's Bride

Ryōmen Sukuna

Warning!! : Mentions of death/killing, forced marriage, and basically Sukuna being an asshole and having no respect for reader.

Summary : After Sukuna reclaims his throne and becomes known as the King of Curses once again, he decides on bringing forth a Queen. You

A/N : I somewhat switch pov's during this so don't get confused. Part 2 coming soon!!

Days have passed since Sukuna has once reclaimed his throne. Yet, he seems to be bored out of his mind. There's nothing to occupy him from his apathy.

Sure, he has countless people at his feet he can order to do as he pleases. But what's the fun in that? He needs something exciting to happen. Something to fill his empty pit of boredom.

He contemplates on whether or not he should start a war, find more slaves soldiers to do his bids, or perhaps even go on a killing spree somewhere random in this dark, dark world. Better yet— why not just kill everyone??

Well, not yet at least.

His teeth grind together and his fists clench in annoyance to this endless pit of nothing he can't seem to shake off.

But just before he rips someone's eyes out with his bare nails from frustration, he forges an idea. And with that idea, comes a no-good smirk spreading across his face.

What does every king have in every fairytale, movie, and book? That's correct. A Queen.

"You." His thundering voice reaches the ears of a guard who could be approximately 52ft ahead of him. "Come here." he motions with his fingers.

Almost immediately, the soldier makes his way up the steps and to the throne of his King. "Yes, my Lord?"

Sukuna makes a simple face of boredom, supporting his head with a propped up fist. "Gather 5 of my best soldiers and find me my Queen." his eyes squint, which silently says 'Hurry it up.'

And without another word, the guard takes off to seek out to the Kings orders.

Not many people could get in the mind of Ryōmen Sukuna. To understand what goes on in that so called empty mind of his is mildly impossible. But, taking a wild guess, the soldier puts together things the King takes an interest in.

Power, Control, and Cruelty.

To find a Queen fit to the Kings likings, she must be innocent. A girl who can't stand up for herself, but when she attempts to, she cowards out.

A girl who needs someone to make the decisions for her. But also a girl who has a little spark in her soul. A spark that can carry her to victory no matter the battle.

This shall be the woman who Sukuna finds quite delightful.

The next step was finding a girl who fits this description.

While this soldier is pondering off into space, he almost forgets about his group of men. Which, he's surprised to see catch up to him with a younger looking woman.

"P-Please!! Let me go!" she sobs, loud enough the birds in the trees fly away and flee from the scene.

Tears flow down her cheeks and onto the dirt. Her clothes are scrunched up and dirty, most likely from how roughly his men handled her. And her breathing is so uneven, she might just pass out.

"I swear I'll never tell a soul—" hic! ",if you just let me go!"

There's two men on each side of her, both practically dragging her through the ground. "We found her out here by herself. She seems to be lost." The one on the left inquires.

Once she's dragged to be met face to face with the lead soldier, he grins.

She's a mess. Forehead so sweaty strands of her hair stick to it. Panting so rapidly, she might use up all the air she has left in her lungs.

The soldier takes one last look at the girl, eyes scanning her over, just to analyze how fit she is to take the role as Sukuna's Queen.

"What do you want for me?! Why– why are you doing this!" the girl begs to know any sort of information. Anything to get a grasp on herself.

No one responds.

She looks to her sides, expecting any kind of answer. But is instead met with the men completely ignoring her.

"She'll do perfectly."

Heavy footsteps echo throughout your head, which by now has been ruined with a horrible headache. Lucky you.

It's hard to tell how long you've been out for. If they've hurt you, or if you've somehow died and awoken in the after life.

The only thing you're sure of is how much pain is coursing through your body. It's to the point you're numb all over and you can barely lift your head up. Barely lift a finger for that matter.

"My lord." A familiar voice rings in your ear and back out. "Your Queen." Another one seems to say in-front of you.

In a desperate attempt to figure out what the hell is happening, you weakly lift your head, blinking a couple of times to regain your focus.

Your vision still remains slightly blurry, but you're only able to make out a set of stairs. Stairs that lead to what seems to be a throne. And in that throne, sits a man.

As you concentrate on this mysterious man, your vision slowly begins to recover.

He has spiky pink hair, long black nails, two eyes on one side, with a plated set of 2 more next to it, and 4 arms? His chiseled shirtless body seems to be tattooed with stripes and dots on each of his shoulders. No, no, this can't be right.

"Bring her here." his voice practically echoes into the air.

Your eyes widen to this sudden command, and you wiggle your arms, attempting to loosen yourself of the men who have you a strict hold over you.

Though it seems to not work, because the men ignore you and continue to their orders. Step by step, the men take you to who appears to be the lead of this whole situation. The man who looks to be the devil himself.

In protest, you kick your feet a little, trying to gain balance and hopefully escape wherever you've been brought to.

But before you can successfully break away, it's too late.

You're met with the horrifying (but somewhat sexy) face of the man who has caused you all of this misery. You scowl at him, which in return earns you a small look of satisfaction.

Disgusting.

His men hold you up to him like a piece of meat, dangling you in-front of his nose as if he was meant to devour you with one swift bite.

His eyes scan up and down your figure. Almost like he's purposely invading your personal space. "Pretty little thing, aren't you?" his words taunt you in a sense you'd never thought you'd feel.

You avert your eyes from his. Turning your head away so he's only in view of your cheek. You're mentally unable to face him.

The prideful moment you had was quickly interrupted. With one swift move of his arm, his hand snatches your chin and snaps you back so you can looking him eye to eye. "Did I say you could look away?" he growls.

His sharp nails press into your skin, making you wince. With how tight his grip is on you, it feels like your skin might tear.

His brows scrunch together lightly as his eyes lock with yours.

"I-"

"Silence." he's quick to cut you off.

Your mouth closes shut almost instantly, and your head drops once he releases you from his grasp. Pathetic.

Everything hurts so much. Your head, your body, and apparently your voice now too.

Small whispers spread around you. From one person to another, you can hear all sorts of comments the strange people are making about you.

If the men holding you up right now were to let go of you, you're sure you would collapse and never get back up again. Fall into an endless abyss and never awaken.

"Take her to the cellar. I shall deal with her later." he orders.

You groan a little when the men tighten their arms around yours. But your vision fades back to nothing as they take you away.

It's been hours.

Hours of crying, screaming, and wishing upon your own death. To end this confusing mess that has somehow been brought upon to you.

You're curled up in the corner of the cell, cold walls and bars keeping you away from whatever source of life might be out there.

It almost pitch black in the haunting cellar. The only things in sight is your arms, which wrap around your legs to pull yourself into a tight ball.

Everything feels dirty. You feel dirty.

Small droplets of damp moisture fall from the ceiling and hit the rough concrete. Your skin is hot, tingling up your bones to the point you might overheat.

Your mouth is dry, deprived from the lack of water you've had in the past week or so.

Before you were captured, you were on the run from home, escaping the endless chains of torment your parents had put you through.

It might have been a stupid decision, especially since you had no where to go at the time, but it had to happen. Your life wasn't meant to be lived like that, and neither was it for this life.

Your eyes close shut, mind struggling to block out the unbearable sound of water meeting cold, hard, ground. It itches down your skin with every fall.

Abruptly, the creak of a wooden door captures your attention quickly. Lifting your head up out of curiosity to see who's there.

"H-Hello..?" You call out, but it seems useless since no one replies anyways. Though you know someone has to be there. The evidence of lingering footsteps tells enough.

Seconds pass by to what seems to be an eternity before the footsteps stop in-front of your cage cell.

Everything, including the man in-front of you, seems so unreal.

He doesn't say anything, just stares down at you as if you were just some dirt on the floor.

"What do you want from me!" You shout at him, but it appears to get you no answer except a irritating frown.

Your teeth are gritted together, and it take everything out of you to not pounce at him. Well, not like you have the strength or energy to do so anyways.

He rests his bottom two arms on his hip, and crosses his other two over his bare chest. "Y'know, you're starting to piss me off."

A moment of silence rests between the two of you before he finally speaks up again.

"What's your name?" it's more of a demand than a question, but you don't care. You don't owe him anything.

And once again, another pass of silence flows by.

He raises a brow, giving you another chance to answer. But, it seems you wont of any use for the time being.

"Name's Sukuna, but you can call me your King."

His words catch you by surprise, lifting your eyes up in a shockingly manner. "W-What..?" you have to confirm what he just said was actually him and not just an imaginary voice in your head.

He let's out a huff, shaking his head to your stupidity. "Do you know why you were brought here?"

Well obviously not, or else you wouldn't have been taken aback to his statement. "No, I don't."

"You were brought here to stand beside me as I rule over this.. kingdom of mine."

And just like that, his words crash and bring down your whole life. Everything you've been through, fought for, and accomplished are all worth nothing. It was all useless.

"No, I refuse–"

A hand slams down on the bars, causing you to flinch. "I don't remember asking how you felt, did I?"

Immediately, you go quiet. The hurtful beating of heart being the only sound audible as he glares down at you from behind the bars.

"Tomorrow shall be the wedding. I'll have my men bring you to me first thing in the morning."

Leaving you no time to protest, question, or even give him a snarky reply, he disappears.

You're left all alone, mind now pounding with how quick this is all happening. You have no say in anything, it seems.

Nothing seems to matter when you feel your eyes flutter close. Too exhausted to reject this rest, you fall asleep.

Thank you for reading! I'll try to have part 2 out as soon as possible (which contains the smut 👀) but I hope you guys enjoyed this so far ^^ Reblogs are also greatly appreciated 💗💗

#destinedtowrite #jjk #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #jjk sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #forced marriage #part 1/2 #jjk x reader #sukuna smut #sukuna ryoumen x reader

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intimacyequalsdeath · 3 months

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Will you be my Valentine?: Sugar Day 1 Thomas Hewitt

Welcome to day one of my Valentines fic event! This event will last 7 days and end very obviously on Valentine's day itself. Each of these fics will be simple cute little fluffy fics to celebrate the holiday. I hope you all enjoy <3

Notes: Minors DNI, Fluff, SFW, No real warnings. No specific descriptions of reader or pronouns are used. If pronouns are ever used, reader will go by they/them.

On most days, the gas station was boring. Boring as hell to be exact though you'd never say that around Luda. You sat there all day in hopes that some stupid lost college kid would roll into the middle of nowhere gas station desperate for directions of any kind to get the hell out of here. A shame really that the only directions you knew were to the Hewitt household.

The rusted old bell above the door chimed to alert you that someone had entered the station. Your head snapped up from the outdated magazine that you were flipping through for the hundredth time in hopes for whatever dull human interaction you could get from whoever rolled in. When your eyes met the patron though you were even more thrilled.

"Tommy!"

You squealed as the giant of a man lumbered into the station. He walked right up to the counter you were stood at as the slightest smile could be seen through the mouth portion of his mask. You leaned over the counter to press your lips against his and he welcomed the gesture.

"You came to see me, must be slow with the meant at the house?"

Tommy shrugged and gave a sort of "I guess so" look before holding up a finger as if to say "give me a second" as he turned to head back out to the front of the station. You watched with curiosity as he walked out of sight and then returned with a small cardboard box.

Over the top of the brim of the box you could see a bundle of some of the wildflowers that grew in the unmanaged field beside the house. You smiled as Thomas once again made his way back to the counter.

He produced the bouquet first. Handing it to you with a smile grunt and a fierce red blush poking through his mask.

"Oh tommy their beautiful!" You squealed taking the flowers from him and inhaling their scent. You loved the smell of the flowers that grew by the house that even Luda insisted on always having a vase of them on the dining room table, even if Hoyt bitched.

"Tell me you didn't get more grass stains on your pants that I'll have to wash out picking these though?"

A look of guilt took over the blush, and you couldn't help but to laugh.

"Tommy! I just got the stains from the last bunch of flowers you picked out!" you teased him.

You tried to sneak a peak over what else he had in the small cardboard box, he noticed this and softly moved the box out of your line of sight before pulling something else out from it.

There, now sitting on your counter from the cardboard box was a small teddy bear. It had mismatched eyes and various random patches of fabric covering holes in it's fur.

"Oh Tommy..." You cooed looking at the small plush bear. "He's adorable!"

You looked at Tommy and thought that if it was possible for him to get any more red he might actually explode.

"You did all this for me Tommy? Why?"

Tommy gave half a headshake and then pointed over to the old calendar on the wall. The calendar was the only thing that Luda kept up to date in the station since it helped her keep up to date with her far and few between doctors appointments in the next town over.

You walked over to the calendar and unhooked it from the wall. When you placed it down on the counter Tommy pointed to the 14th of February.

"This is what you got me for Valentines day then?" A smile etching your face.

Tommy nodded enthusiastically. Luda Mae must've told him about Valentine's day, and planted the idea for him to do something for you for it. When you rolled in and Luda finally was able to see a future for her beloved boy she was thrilled and would do anything to help you two along.

"I love them Tommy, thank you honey"

Tommy gave a "You're Welcome" grunt and a head nod. He took one of his giant hands and reached across the counter to cup your cheek, you leaned into his warm hand as he caressed your face.

The shrill ring of the rotary phone on the wall brought the two of you out of the trance, you walked over and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Goddamnit is that blockheaded boy down there at the station?!"

Hoyt all but screamed down the line, you turned to look at Tommy who could obviously hear Hoyt yelling.

"Yeah Tommy's down here, why?"

"He just up and fuckin left! We have meat down in the basement to get cleaned up but as soon as he heard somethin' about goddamn Valentine's day he wandered off"

You smiled slightly and fixed Tommy with another look. Tommy shrugged and you could make out an up and down motion in his shoulders almost as if he was laughing.

"I'll tell him to head back Hoyt, Don't worry"

Before Hoyt could answer you had hung up. You made your way back over to the counter and put your hands on your hips.

"Thomas Hewitt" You playfully scolded the giant of a man. "Did you ditch your work to come and give me Valentine's day gifts?"

Tommy looked at you for a moment before nodding with an obvious smile peaking out from underneath the mask.

"Well, my shift here is done for the day, would you like to accompany me back to the house?"

Tommy gave an eager nod as you collected your flowers and the cute little bear and walked around the counter. He offered you his arm, as you tucked the bear underneath the one holding the flowers, and you happily accepted.

The rusted bell above the door dinged in notification as Tommy opened the door for you to step outside first. You stepped out into the warm February Texas afternoon as Tommy followed and reoffered his arm.

"If you get home and get your work done, I'll make you a very special Valentine's dinner for all your hard work?" you asked, looking up at him as you walked.

Tommy eagerly nodded as the two of you made your way down the abandoned road back toward the Hewitt house together. With nothing but the warm Texas sun, the breeze that cut through the humidity and a cute little patch work bear.

#slasher x reader #slasher fandom #texas chainsaw massacre #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #texas chainsaw 3d #thomas brown hewitt #valentines day

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blockgamepirate · 3 months

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idk if anyone has done this yet but I just wanted to share close-ups of each of the custom signs Richas, Pomme and Bad made, with individual alt-text descriptions (the descriptions are a bit subjective but I wanted to make them as vivid as I could because I feel like these designs deserve that)

I might include my own feedback in a reblog, to get extra subjective, but the main gist of it would be that these are super cute and much much easier to read.

Note that these are not the final designs! Richas, Pomme and Bad said they're still working on them and asking for feedback, especially in regards to the accessibility aspect.

The same descriptions under a cut, just in case the alt-text doesn't work for some reason:

Pomme's custom canvas sign on a wall. This will be the most detailed description since it's the first: The sign has a wooden frame that surrounds a red canvas. The canvas has a very subtle patchwork like texture and is slightly darker on the edges than in the middle. The text is a slightly transparent white (effectively beige) and reads Pomme in all caps.

The custom texture pack version is a much darker shade of red, which makes the contrast between the text and the background much bigger and thus the text much more readable. The frame is also decorated with a little French flag in the bottom left corner and tree branches with green leaves and apples on the right. The leaves and apples overlap the canvas portion slightly. The overall vibe is very classy and makes you think of a roadsign advertising a French vineyard. Or I guess more like an orchard in this case.

Sunny's custom sign: The colour is a much softer and lighter orange than before, almost more like a warm yellow. The text is black like in all the lighter coloured signs. The frame is decorated with sparkly blue diamonds, a small diamond shaped one in the lower left corner with sparkles almost as big as itself, and one big one in the lower right corner which is in the princess cut shape. The general vibe is like a pre-teen girl's notebook decorated with glittery stickers.

Chayanne's custom sign: The colour is a very soft and pale lemon yellow. The frame is covered in subtle vines on the top and the bottom. In the lower left corner there's a small orange pumpkin among the vines, and in the lower right corner there's a little yellow rubber duckie, also partially covered in vines, which does blend into the background a little bit where it overlaps the yellow canvas. The vibe is very cottagecore but also very childlike, this could be a sign for some kind of family vacation location with cabins and gardens.

Tallulah's custom sign: The colour is medium pink, somewhere between her original pink signs (now used by Pepito) and her current magenta signs. Clearly lighter than the latter, but darker than the former. The frame is decorated with poppies in the lower right corner, and some kind of blue flower, maybe a blue lily, on the lower left corner. One of the blue flowers also sort of peeks into the frame on the right between the poppies, right in the corner. The flowers are of course framed by their leaves, which reach out towards the middle around them. This definitely has the vibe of a sign for a flower garden, probably one maintained by a little old lady who loves pink.

Richarlyson's custom sign: The colour is a deeper indigo blue than his original signs, like deep blue denim. The text colour is the same light beige as Pomme's signs and as all the darker coloured signs. The frame is decorated with a tiny Brazilian flag in the lower right corner, and red-cap mushrooms in the lower left corner. The mushrooms seem to be releasing little white spores into the air, some of which can be seen in the top right corner as well. I can't quite pin down the vibe. There's something a bit fairy tale like, like a storybook maybe. You half expect a little troll creature to show up. But also… random Brazilian flag I guess lol

Empanada's custom sign: The colour seems to be the same soft beige as before, I can't tell if it has changed at all. The frame is covered in golden syrup in the top left corner, which spreads out all over that side of the sign, dripping down in big goopy clumps. It looks delicious and I don't even care that much for syrup. The lower right corner across from it is decorated with white flowers, maybe white cherry blossoms? The flowers are stemless and leafless, just the flower floating over the frame and the canvas. One big one and one small one. There seem to also be small petals floating in the other two corners of the sign, over the canvas. One petal is even floating on the syrup where it drips down on the left. This would definitely be a sign for a small independent bakery.

Ramón's custom sign: The colour is the same white as always, I don't think it has changed at all. The frame is very simply decorated with copper-coloured gears in the lower left and lower right corners, with one particularly big gear on the right side. It doesn't bring any particular vibes to mind but it is cute. The gears look very shiny and it fits Ramón very well. I guess the thing that it most reminds me of is actually Ramón's elevator shaft with its white walls and coppery create machinery.

Dapper's custom sign: The colour is a darker grey than usual, I would honestly call it black rather than grey. The lower edge of the frame is decorated with what looks like darkened blotches of blood, with white ghostly spirits rising out of them towards the left and right edges of the sign, framing the canvas and partially overlapping it. The ghosts are similar to the souls that rise from soulsand in Minecraft but whiter, with only a hint of blue. The vibe is very Halloweeny of course.

Leonarda's custom sign: The colour is a much deeper purple than before, you could even say a more royal purple. In the lower right corner there's a beautiful sparkly cluster of amethysts which are a lighter pinkish lilac colour and which look absolutely gorgeous, just masterful pixel art crystals. There is an amazing sense of depth and transparency in such a minimal resolution. There are also some pinkish sparkles in the lower left corner to balance out the composition a little bit. I don't know how to describe the vibes but it's beautiful. It's like a much classier version of Sunny's sign (not an insult to Sunny's sign, just a neutral description. It's like the cliché of the nouveau riche versus old money. Sunny's gems make you think of glitter stickers, Leo's look like she just happened to place the sign next to an actual cluster of amethysts with perfect artistic composition. Or maybe like she hired a professional painter to decorate each sign.)

(Okay sorry for the rambling, I just can't get over how pretty these amethysts are. Sunny's diamonds are also very pretty but they do look more like stickers to me)

10:

Pepito's custom sign: I think the colour is a softer and lighter pink than the original, it looks like freshly washed baby clothes. The sign is decorated with a tub of popcorn in the lower right corner, with the classic red-and-white design, which sits partly on the frame but mostly overlaps the canvas. Some popcorn seems to have fallen out and is scattered across the lower edge of the sign. There's also a stripe of alternating red and white on the right (over the edge of the canvas rather than on top of the frame itself) which vaguely makes me think of film reel, probably because of the popcorn. I should note that the white and red on both the tub and the "film" are a bit desaturated and dark, technically the white is more like light grey, which gives an effect of shadow and contrast compared to the very light pink canvas which looks very cool. There's also some subtle white flakes across the sides of the canvas; I'm not sure what they're meant to represent. They're very similar to Empanada's petals. The overall effect of the sign is very retro to me. It makes me think of the sixties.

11:

Gegg's custom sign: The colour is a softer version of the lime green of the original sign, and slightly lighter. The canvas is decorated with a little Gegg pixel art sitting in the lower right corner. Otherwise the sign is undecorated, but there's a subtle effect on the canvas itself that makes it look a bit goopier, like there's a thin film of slime over it. And there's a tiny reflection of light in the upper left corner which adds to the wet look. It's very subtle though, it could very easily be missed if you didn't look at the sign closely. The overall vibe is: Gegg

#qsmp #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp pomme #badboyhalo #qsmp eggs

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silkcloud03 · 1 year

Text

✧. ┊ ⁭ ⁭ ⁭ ⁭ WHEN YOU ARE OVERWORKED FROM WORK/ASSIGNMENTS.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

◦ warnings(?) ◦

→ reader does leaned more towards gn/non-binary people to people who identify as masculine or male! so people that identify as (she\her)’s or (she\they)’s dni because this is for the male audience. :]

→ overworking, stress (albedo).

→ anxiety, insomnia (kaeya).

→ forgetting meals, prioritizing workload over health (diluc).

→ some harassment and slight description of a panic attack (venti).

→ some characters may be a bit ooc! i also might be doing different parts to this for each region! if i have missed any warnings i may or not forgotten to mention; pls feel free to let me know^^ but overall there’s comfort and fluff.🫶🫶🫶

◤━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◥

◣━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◢

╰┈➤ [MONDSTADT MEN]

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ KAEYA ALBERICH *ੈ✩‧₊˚

-gentle tapping on the glass from incoming rain can be heard through the quick scribbling off the quill pen on parchment. the sound of laughter & echoing throughout the halls of the knights of favonius. retiring for the night to grab some dinner for their famished bodies after a long day of patrolling, reporting & training. even though this would be a perfect to sit back and relish in; you currently aren’t really in the position to even enjoy anything of the sorts.

-you glanced up at the clock & saw that it was two hours after your shift but it looks like you won’t be finishing up any time soon with the mountain of paperwork in front of you that the acting grand master placed on your mahogany coloured desk since she trusted to you to finish on her behalf because an emergency arose that needed her immediate attention.

-you sighed as you continued on with your work. “it’s not like there’s anyone else around here to take over the paperwork.”

-a favor for a favor you guessed. time flew by since the last time you looked at the clock again.

-a soft knock echoed into the room and somehow you didn’t hear it. the door opened with a soft creak and a voice called out quietly. “[Y/N]?”

-you almost jumped out of your skin at the sound of your beloveds voice. “ARCHONS- you frightened me, kaeya!”

-a soft chuckle rumbled in his chest as he opened the door fully before stepping into the room in his whole calvary captain glory. “good to know that i can still do that to my beloved after all this time knowing each other.”

-you shake your head as you continued scribbling quickly on the paper. “what are you doing here, kaeya?”

-his head titled his head to the side with his eyebrow quirked. “are you even aware what time it is right now, [Y/N]?”

-“it was 9:49 o’clock last time i checked.”

-“‘last time you checked’?” his tone suddenly got serious which caught you off guard so you looked up to see his arms folded over his chest and a slight frown on his gorgeous face. “can you look at what time it is right now for me?”

-you looked up at the clock that’s hung at the top of the multiple shelves that has all kinds of books, maps and files. it says that it was already 1:02 in the morning. you laugh sheepishly while ignoring kaeya’s piercing gaze.

-“this is the fifth time this week that you have been drowning yourself in extra paperwork, sweetheart.” he sighs as he went around the desk, gently turning your face to look at him, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

-you leaned into his touch, now realized how much your body aches from sitting from such a long period of time. “jean left me this paperwork in a hurry since there was an important matter that she couldn’t ignore so i just took responsibility of finishing it up.”

-he hums gently in acknowledgement, grabbing your hand lightly as he pecked each knuckle, slowly running up your arm. “you don’t have to carry so much work, love.”

-you leaned your head back onto the back of the chair with a small thump with a sigh. “you already know how i can get kaeya. sometimes these things just fall onto my lap and i can’t help but help as much as my body can take it.”

-“and you didn’t even think to give your own partner some attentrntion while you worked? you wound me, my love.” a small playful pout etched into his handsome features, placing a hand on his chest as he gasped dramatically.

-you tiredly giggled at him. now it was your turn to grab the hand that was resting on your shoulder and place a gentle peck onto the smooth leather of the glove that hugged his hand perfectly.

-he rubbed his free hand on his neck to subtly hide the growing flush thats creeping onto his ears, still surprised at how your acts of affection still flusters him even after years of the two of you being together.

-the blue-haired male gently takes the quill that was still in your hand away into the small stand next to the bottle of ink. he grabs the finished papers that were scattered across your desk and evens them out before placing them to the side opposite of the now smaller pile of unfinished paperwork.

-“kaeya, put me down!” you dragged out his name when you were suddenly picked up by the cavalry captain which made you slightly jump from the action. “i’m not something you can carry around as you please!”

-“oh then how can i spoil my tired partner like the royalty they are?” He teased, adjusting his grip around your back and legs as he carried you out of your office, now on route to your shared home.

-you rested your head on his shoulder after smacking his chest playfully, too tired to even make a proper response.

-a small smile formed on his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head. “rest well, my love.”

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ DILUC RAGNIVINDR *ೃ༄

-“there we go.” you wiped the small sheen of sweat on your forehead after placing down one of many crates into the carriage that supposed to be sent out to a few merchants around liyue. you happened to stumble upon this old man right out front of the mansion at dawn winery who asked for some assistance to carry around the heavy boxes filled with wine bottles since no one else was around.

-‘this wouldn’t hurt to do. i still have enough time.’ you thought as you were quick to start moving the boxes.

-you were originally here to visit your beloved while doing your commissions since they were very close to the mansion and the just return back to mondstadt for other errands that you needed to do.

-it looks like that everyone wants your assistance today. you weren’t really complaining although it can get very overwhelming at times. you always tend to manage the pressure around your shoulders from taking commission after commission. that’s what everyone thought in their perspective.

-in reality, you were just trying to cope by drowning yourself with work. even if that meant skipping meals, losing rest, and even ignoring the hobbies you used to enjoy, barely even making time for it anymore. only making time for easing the workload for everyone.

-after the finishing up placing down the last crate down as the old man thanked you profusely for the help as he shook your hand. “thank you so much, i don’t know what I could’ve done without you help! seems like my age has caught up in these old bones of mine.”

-“it was nothing.” you gave him a small polite smile. awkwardly trying to find an opening to visit your partner that by now should be waiting for you to arrive in his abode, clearing your throat slightly. “pardon me- but i really do have to leave-“

“LOOK OUT!”

-before you could even register the yell, you pushed the man out of the way as you took the hit of the barrel that seemed to have fallen from being transported. stopping the heavy container with a grunt, your arms strained a bit before placing it upright.

-“oh gosh! are you alright!?” a young man with blonde hair and binoculars resting on his head frantically ran towards you hesitantly checking if you were injured or anything of the sorts. “i’m so so sorry! i don’t know how but the barrel just fell off from the carriage!”

-“please its okay really!” you shook your head with a chuckle, trying to ease the clumsy boy in front of you. “here let me help you with that.”

-you heaved the heavy barrel with ease, carrying it to the carriage and tying it into place securely. gently explaining what went wrong and gave him tips on what to improve in the future. he thanked you enthusiastically as he jogged towards a boy with long, messy silver hair waiting for him in the distance, almost tripping over his own feet along the way.

you giggled at the sight as you finally walked into the mansion, gently closing the front door as diluc’s servants greeting you and hanging up your jacket and satchel.

-“sometimes i’m still surprised how you always have time to help people, love.”

-you almost jumped out of your skin as diluc’s voice suddenly rung out in the manor. a small smile etched into your face, walking towards your partner that is sitting comfortably on one of the chairs in front of the fireplace, reading paperwork and letters that are on the table next to him.

-you ran a gentle hand through his thick, red locks that’s tied in a loose ponytail over his shoulder. he slightly melts in your touch, leaning back on his chair to relish the feeling of your fingers in his hair.

-you huffed a small laugh as you watched him relax, slowly untying the ribbon that’s holding his hair together, making a small braid with a piece of it. you both enjoyed the comfortable silence that fell, the soothing sound of the burning wood cracking and the gentle smell of herbal tea in the air.

-you can never get tired of these small moments after a whole day of working nonstop. you sometimes wish these moments could last forever but that just would be wishful thinking. you didn’t even realize that you let out a heavy sigh until the red-haired suddenly turned his head to look up at you with a concerned expression. “what’s wrong, dove? is something the matter?”

-you shook your head to dismiss the question but he pointed look he gave you made you cave in. you chuckled lightly as you kept playing with his hair, keeping your hands busy as you tried not to let your thoughts wander. “it’s nothing, love. just a bit tired.”

-diluc gently grabbed both of your hands and pulled you around from next to him so that you were now in front of him. he looked straight into your eyes as if searching for something which was working because you couldn’t handle lying while he was looking at you that ways with such worry in those beautiful crimson eyes of his.

-it’s like he reads through you and you shrunk in his observant gaze internally. both of you didn’t utter a thing, just looking at each other as you tried to make up an excuse to get out of the current situation you’re currently in.

-wordlessly, diluc slowly let go of your hands and opened his arms. your eyes widened, little surprised at the gesture but once you realized what he wanted to do, your nose began to sting and your vision blurred slightly. immediately sitting on his lap, not really caring if your straddling his legs, wrapping your arms around the red-haired mans shoulder while one of his arms slung comfortably around your waist and then the other rubbed soothing motions on the middle of your back.

-he squeezed you gently, pressing his cheek on the side of your head, placing soft kisses on it as you held back your tears from the comfort your lover is giving you. a few tears ran down your cheeks as you cursed silently, you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, slightly tightening your arms around him.

-“you don’t always have to carry all that workload everyday. i’m always here to help you carry at least a carry a small bit of it if it means helping you breathe easier.” he says gently while patting your head in an encouraging way after placing a small peck on the crown of your head. “you are always scolding me when i carry too much from my nightly activities, now its my turn to help you carry yours, now it’s your turn to lower those walls you always hold up, my dove.”

-you let out a small watery laugh as you nuzzled your head even further into his chest, finally letting the tears finally fall. “thank you, diluc.”

-and the whole afternoon was spent with the both of you enjoying each others company and a whole lot of scolding from diluc while making a whole new schedule for you so that you can have more time to rest.

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ALBEDO ·˚ ༘

-“shit.” you cursed under your breath as another sketch of a cecilia in a vase in the middle of the table as you took a small break from going through with some alchemical research that has been assigned to you. the small doodle failed miserably while you crumpled the piece of parchment and flicked it across the mess of books and test tubes spread around your notepad.

-you honestly thought trying out to just a simple doodle of the flower that was on the table as decoration to take off your thoughts off from your research was gonna be easy enough, right?

-oh how wrong you were.

-it all started out calmly, just making simplistic lines with just a flick of your pen, until you messed up a particular detail around the petals that you didn’t expect it to irk you that much, so you just ripped the page and placed it to the side and start all over again on a new page.

-being a perfectionist can be such pain sometimes.

-stubbornly, instead of tucking your notepad away and remove yourself from the mental stress that your putting yourself in, you reasoned yourself that it would just take a couple more tries couldn’t hurt to do.

-you don’t necessarily have a knack for drawing (if you are an artist just pretend that you don’t have the skill for the sake of the oneshot LOL bcs I’m an artist myself dhaskafh) you were more someone that prefer to keep your nose in books, quenching your curiosity by experimenting and even exploring the outdoors every once in a while.

-the thought of just sitting for long hours practicing your ability to draw without moving around makes you anxious since you weren’t someone that would keep still for a certain period of time before you are pacing around while reading documents for your assignments or walking around aimlessly in the library.

-you sighed in frustration as yet another attempt of the drawing failed because the lines for the petals looked shaky made you just lean back on your chair and closed your eyes while taking deep breaths to try and calm the storm of your thoughts, bouncing of your leg didn’t ease your anxiety. slowly overthinking on why you can’t do a simple doodle of a stupid flower.

-“well i wasn’t expecting to come back to the library with a sight like this.”

-the voice made you straighten your posture from the chair and snap your head towards the person that just came in. low and behold, it just happened to be the certain cheif alchemist of the knights of favonius, a few books and scrolls in one arm pinned to his chest and his other was holding his coat.

-“albedo! i thought i wouldn’t be seeing you in the next couple of days!” you piped up and got up from your chair trying to hide the fact that you were having a mental breakdown a few seconds ago, quickly reorganizing the messy cutter.

-the blond, the ever so observant person he is, caught on to the fake cheery behavior but he brushed it off. “it seems that the situation up in dragonspine was resolved swiftly and no one got injured so i decided to go back here to send in the report to jean.”

-he walked closer to the table you are at and places his things on the clear space next to you before turning towards you and placed a gloved hand on our forearm. “i also wanted to see you as well since i knew you were occupied with the research that sucrose assigned to you. how is the experiment coming along?”

-“here,” you gathered your notes and papers and handed it to him. “this is everything that i have gathered so far.”

-albedo read through the notes, his free hand on his chin as he read through the papers and observed the beakers that were placed across the table with different coloured liquids on each one of them.

-“everything you have noted so far is correct and precise with good explanations of each hypotheses, i would like for you to demonstrate me the experemant-“ his bright blue eyes fell to the notepad with the half finished sketch of a cecilia. he placed down the apes and grabbed the notepad, gloved fingers lightly tracing the lines on the parchement.

-he turned towards you, head tilted in curiosity. “did you draw this?”

-his face didn’t express much but his eyes held curiosity, although you swore that you saw a small hint of his smile on his lips.

-you let out a sheepish laugh, rubbing your forearm in embarrassment. “yeah- i wanted to try and sketch the cecilia while taking a break from doing experiments all afternoon but as you can see,” you gestured the small pile of crumbled paper

-albedo let out a small chuckle at your flushed state. “for your first time, i think you did very well.”

-“your just saying that.” you looked away, now the stress that you had suddenly came back, you hope your lover wasn’t able to see you crumble slightly in his sharp gaze. “i’m not as good as you.”

-a gloved hand lightly took your chin and directed it towards him before it cupped your cheek, his thumb rubbing soothing motions on your cheekbone. his face was stoic as ever but his eyes held such gentleness that caught you off guard, you leaned into his touch and your eyes glazed over.

-his eyes softened as he let a small smile break through his face, wiping a lone tear that managed to escape. slowly leaning in and placing a small kiss on your forehead, it lasted for a bit before he brought your head to the space between his neck and shoulder.

-he didn’t say much while he let you clutch the soft fabric of his royal blue shirt and embrace him as much as you wanted to. albedo’s hand played with your hair between his fingers, gently swaying you back to try and quiet your sniffles.

-you both stayed like that for a while before the blond pulled away from the embrace first, he grabbed a small handkerchief that was in his pocket and dabbed gingerly the salty tears away while encouraging you and telling affirmations but hearing that just made you want to cry even harder. you fought back the urge, letting out watery chuckles, thanking him.

-“how about i teach you the basics of drawing? i would be pleased to guide you, if you’d let me.” placing a peck on your calloused palm, he tugged your arm while he grabbed his signature clipboard and paper.

-and how can you say no to that pretty face?

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ VENTI ⍣ ೋ

-you genuinely didn’t know how you ended up in this situation.

-you were just trying to get through this night shift at the tavern as the waiter, this particular night was full of people, the celebration of (aether/lumine) returning back to visit mondstadt. even most of the knights of favonius were here tonight. amber, lisa, kaeya, eula, albedo, sucrose, and even jean were here for the celebration with the traveler on the second floor, only reserved for them. non-knights were also at the tavern, diluc (as always behind the bar preparing drinks and observing the lively activity), rosaría, and, venti were seated at the bar, enjoying their respective beverages while chatting with the owner.

-you chatted with them every now and then but given that you were the one bringing orders and taking care bringing drinks to tables. you honestly just got this job to raise more mora for yourself and diluc was pleased with you offering to help around the tavern with charles while he leaves for his nightly darknight hero errands.

-“a bottle of dandelion wine, two apple ciders and one berry and mint burst for the small party at table six.” you placed the tray on the countertop while leaning your side to the bar, putting your weight against it, bringing your hand up to push the messy strands of hair away from your face.

-diluc nodded towards you, long red hair bouncing behind him as it’s pulled back into a high ponytail. watching him prepare the drinks with such ease and confidence that it never fails to impress you that this man doesn’t drink.

-a small tired sigh left through your nose as you noticed the exhaustion slowly seeping into your system. you weren’t even a few hours in and yet interacting with this many people certainly drained your social battery.

-“you look quite tired there, windblume. need your boyfriend to whisk you away into the late hours of the night?” a cheery voiced chirped at you with a giggle next to you.

-“a little but the amount of people here certainly caught me by surprise tonight.” you turn your head and give a small smile to your lover whose downing another cup of dandelion wine.

-he hummed as he poured himself another amount into the wine glass which made the redhead behind the counter glare at him slightly before going back to preparing drinks and placing them next to the tray for you to take to the table.

-“don’t drink so much tonight, venti.” you laugh playfully at him while playing with one of his braids before giving his shoulder a stern squeeze as a warning. “you don’t want me to carry you out while i pay your tab again now do you?”

-“aww you don’t want to ruin my fun while there’s a celebration tonight.” he pouts a bit while he moved the glass in gentle circles, watching the liquid dance around the shape of the glass before grabbing one of your hands and placing a small peck on the knuckle of your ring finger before muttering for only you to hear with a small smirk on his lips. “unless you want your beloved to be all over you when we get home.”

-you rolled your eyes playfully, chuckling while lightly pushing his face away from you, carefully placing the drinks on the tray and walking away with a slight sway of your hips as you looked over your shoulder behind you, sending a small wink. “we’ll see how you act later after i take care of you.”

-you walked away before you could see the burning blush present on his ears as he downed another drink.

-“sorry for the wait! busy, busy night in this tavern with the celebration going on.” you gave a small polite smile towards the group, calling out the drink names to place them in front of each person who ordered it. you noticed some of the people in the group whispering to the woman across of them while glancing at you every now and then but you brushed it off, making some small talk with the others that were at the table.

-“besides how busy tonight is, are you perhaps busy later after your shift, handsome?” the woman spoke up with a small sly smile, placing her chin on the head that was resting on the table while taking a sip of her drink. it looked like she was already going far into the amount drinks she has consumed. here we go again.

-“yes i would be busy after my shift.” you chuckle at the question, starting to feel quite uncomfortable, trying to find an excuse to get yourself out of this situation.

-“well that’s too bad.” the woman pouted playfully which made you want to cringe into yourself. “i was hoping to take you home tonight, cutie.”

-okay now you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

-your eye twitch. you honestly preferred to be called cutie when lisa does it but you somehow managed to force a smile at the woman who is too damn blind to take your hints of rejection. “no thank you, miss. i’m not interested, now i’m going back to work so i hope you guys get to enjoy your night.”

-“hey, you’re no fun!” you subtly rolled your eyes as you ignored the companion that was next to the woman who was almost to the point of passing out that was encouraging her behavior. you slowly turned away, but before you could even attend the table that flagged you down, the drunk woman grabbed onto your bicep and batted her eyelashes up at you.

-“i can take really good care of you, y’know. don’t start playing hard to get, handsome.” while she whined, she ran her other hand across your chest, a manicured nail playing with the button of your shirt.

-“please let go of me-” you tried pulling your arm away but she held it on even tighter. given to how strong you already are you can easily yank your arm away from her but you didn’t want to cause a scene.

-“miss, no is no!” your breathing slowly started to become a bit ragged as you tried to pull away but the drunk woman kept persisting and handling you roughly, making you drop the tray with other drinks, flinching when it crashed on the ground.

-the whole bar went dead silent to the point you can hear a pin drop, attention now drawn towards the cause of the sound while you kept telling the woman to let go of you.

suddenly there was a small gust of wind that almost made you stumble. before you even knew it, a certain bard forcefully made space between you and the other woman, standing in front of you in a protective manner, glaring down at her. the angry expression on his usual cheery demeanor made you shiver internally at how frightening he looks. “they said no.”

-“venti.” you muttered quietly, trying not to visibly shake under the attention that has been directed towards you, wrapping your arms around yourself as a small form of comfort.

-a gentle hand touched your shoulder, making you glance over diluc you nods reassuringly at you before stepping forward to stand in front of the bard as he towers over the woman who is sheepishly trying to brush of the altercation that just happened.

-“this was just a big understanding! i was just talking to this cutie-“ before she could even utter another word, diluc raised a gloved hand up to silence her which made her gulp at the angry red head in front of her as he glared at her.

-“harassing my waiter is not acceptable in this tavern. your ongoing behavior has pestered the other customers enough.” the red head began, gesturing everyone that is looking at the situation unfold, making the group sitting at the table cringe into themselves. “so please leave this establishment before the knights of favonius escort you out personally.”

-the two sober knights that were standing by the door swiftly walked up to the woman and her companions while they clumsily grabbed their belongings and followed the knights, their heads hung from embarrassment, ignoring the looming gazes of the people seated throughout the tavern.

-before they left out the door, diluc added. “oh and don’t even think you’ll ever come back here again.”

-pity filled gazes now turned towards your shaking figure while you walked towards the door that takes you to the storage room next to the bar, venti quickly turned and shouted to the audience “hey! don’t let this situation bring down the festive mood. a round of drinks for everyone, master diluc! put it on my tab of course!”

-that seemed to get the people forget the situation that happened prior quickly as they cheered at his generosity while he went to the back to check his beloved, sending a quick nod towards the door as diluc let him slip out quickly while preparing the big order of drinks with a sigh, charles passing around drinks and jotting down orders while venti took care of you.

-“windblume?” venti walked through the storage unit while quietly calling out to you, trying to find you after the whole ordeal that must have affected you greatly.

-a sound of soft sniffles caught his attention behind one of the wrack holding various bottles of wine and beverages. the bard circled around the corner, seeing you sitting on the ground with your head tucked in your arms that rested over your knees as your body shook, fingers clutching your sleeves tightly, making your knuckles turn white.

-his teal eyes softened at the sight of you, he slowly knelt down in front of you, still giving you space until you let him. he sat on his calves as he watched your shaken form.

-“my beloved?” he called out softly again, hoping that you acknowledged that he’s right here if you need him fir anything.

-you slowly pulled your head away from the resting place of your arms, shiny [e/c] eyes staring back at him filled with a storm of thoughts surrounded them but venti still thought that you still look as handsome as ever as the tears made your eyes look clearer and brighter than normal.

-he smiled gently, slowly raising a hand towards your face, making sure that your eyes have full view of what he’s doing just in case if you wanted to pull away.

-his hand stopped just to hover over your cheek, tilting his head as if to ask for permission before touching you.

-you closed your eyes, nodding. flinching a little before relaxing into the coolness of his hand on your cheek. venti’s smile only widened, scooting a little closer while threading his free hand through your hair and placing a soft kiss in between the space of your eyebrows.

-“my precious windblume is so strong, carrying all this weight and spreading kindness in your wake. i’m so proud of you, my love. how lucky i am to have such a strong and brave partner like you. you never fail to surprise me with the things you do every day. carrying so much weight that i sometimes wish that you’d let me carry half of it. i love you so much, windblume.”

-here comes the other wave of tears. you tackled your boyfriend, making him stumble back and land with a small ‘oof’ with you hiding your face into his neck.

-“although i might need to stop drinking a while to pay off the huge tab i placed myself tonight.” the bard laughs, squeezing you in his hold, pressing his cheek on the side of your head, letting you hug him as much as you want to. he feels your chest rumble with a weak chuckle at his statement which made his heart flutter with ease knowing that he can cheer you up even its only a little bit.

-he slipped his hand under your chin to pull your face up as he placed a chaste kiss on your lips. “let me take care of you tonight my love.”

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◦ a/n: WHEWWW i just wanted to start writing again as a way of taking out some stress from uni (even though i deadass don’t write for shit after years of writing on wattpad💀) but i honestly wanted to come back to creating cute little scenarios of my favourite fictional characters & shii LOL. creating new stuff might take a bit since its usually when i have a burst of random energy or whenever i’m stressed from uni or art classes so please do send request or some ideas my way! anywho this might be kinda long since it is my first post here so- i may or may not have gone a bit far with venti’s but i love him too much for my own good.🧍😭

◦ anywho— reader on all the stuff i make will be gn or masc! gn reader since i am non-binary that prefers masculine compliments and i don’t tend to see a lot of gn or masc representation so hopefully i can bring that to fruition in a way of sorts with my rusty writing skhdskuyj.

◦ so rn i shall try to write some genshin boys for now since i do wanna take my little take on them since i do kin quite a bunch of them.💀

◦ i do hope you enjoyed my first post!!!🫶😭

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str4wkinzi · 7 months

Text

NO LONGER YOUR OWN. pt 2 :3

Sukuna x Reader :3 + a surprise guest (guess who winkwink but hes in like demon/curse form giggles)

NSFW CONTENT!! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!

(I had NO idea for a part 2 cuz i wasn’t thinking this far so its gonna be super sort sorry babes)

There is bootyhole stuff in this so BEWARE THE BOOTY!!!

Part 1 <3 Part 3

A week later, Sukuna had never left your side. Day after day he kept others far away from you. Your friends wanted to go out? No. A boy you met asked you out? Definitely not.

He likes to keep you in his domain with him. He sits you in his lap and grabs the bottom of your face, making your lips meet his and grinding you down onto his aching cock.

In all truthfulness, he’s never felt like this towards anything. Especially a human. Maybe it’s just a phase. I mean, it’s been a while since someones summoned him.

He tried to force ask you to throw away all those other useless spell books even though they were flukes. He wouldn’t admit it, but even if they were flukes, he hated the thought of another taking you.

He was scared of one of them suddenly working and you summoning another demon or whatever.

What you both didn’t know was.. you ordered another book. You didn’t read the description. If you bought one book you got the other free but just a little while later.

You hear your doorbell ring and you open the door. You look down to see.. a box? You didn’t order anything else.

You take the box to your room, were Sukuna is laying on the bed. You take the book out of the box and it has eyes all over it..? All the eyes are looking in different directions.

“What do you have in your hands?”

You jump as you hear Sukuna’s groggy voice.

“Nothing, it’s just a book.” You reply.

When you turn back to the book all the eyes are looking directly at you. You yelp and Sukuna gets up from his position. He’s wiping his eyes, when he looks down at you holding that book its far too late.

The books already shaking in your grasp. Sukuna looks irritated as the book floats into the air. The books eyes sprout off of the book and into the air around it, starting to spin around the book as white fills your vision.

You’re still sitting on the floor. When you open your eyes after being blinded with light for a second you see..

“Hello there little human!” The man erupts.

A white haired man with blindfolds over his eyes is bending down to meet your gaze. Well, he isn’t exactly- fuck it.

You hear Sukuna grumbling from your bed and the man looks over at him.

“Ah, i see you’ve already summoned my good friend over here!” He smiles as he looks back at you.

“From the looks of it.. he hasn’t told you about me, has he? Oh well!” He says while lifting his blindfold up, exposing all six of his eyes.

“I am Satoru Gojo. And you, little human. Who might you be?” Gojo says with a chuckle.

You begin to speak but Sukuna cuts you off.

“Mine. They’re mine.” Sukuna says, getting off your bed and pulling you up on your feet against his chest. He pulls your shirt up, exposing his mark.

“My, my, my good friend here has really taken a liking to you. Thats rare y’know.”

With two 8 foot tall men glaring at each other above you, you feet below them, it’s kinda hard to think about anything.

This lasts for a minute before Gojo grabs your chin and lifts it up to meet his.

“C’mon old buddy, let’s not fight in front of this lovely thing.” He says with a grin.

Sukuna takes you away from Gojo and back into his arms.

“Let’s find a different way to settle this, okay?” Gojo adds.

“You can’t hog, Sukuna.” Gojo whines as Sukuna pushes your head down on his cock. You could barely handle one of their cocks, now you have to handle two.

With both of them fighting to get your mouth on his cock, all you could do was… nothing.

Going to one then going to the other eventually got them both close. When they both came on your face..

“Fuck, you look like such a slut.” Sukuna spat.

“You look so beautiful, human. All covered in our cum.”

The mix of being praised just to be degraded again makes how you got to this point confusing.

Sukuna loves you. He would never admit that. He’s come so low as to have humane feelings for a humane human.

Gojo has taken a liking to you already. If Sukuna likes you then he’ll love you.

You’re sitting on Sukuna’s lap, him playing with your chest as Gojo eats you out.

Sukuna loves hearing you moan he’d never admit that but he hates when he’s the one making you moan like this. He starts biting your neck while using his other hand to lift your chin up. He’s whispering in your ear but you cant focus on anything right now.

Right after you cum in Gojo’s mouth, Sukuna lays down with you on his chest. Sukuna’s arms wrap around your legs and lift them up, exposing you to Gojo.

Sukuna whispers in your ear about how you’re his while pushing his cock inside your hole. You don’t get a moments breather before Gojo begins to push his cock inside you as well.

Having just one of them inside of you was already a lot. Having two makes it even.. better? With both of them moving in a way that makes sure you stay full you can’t help the moans that fall from your lips.

With you lost in pleasure, you barely even notice how they’re glaring at each other above you. After several minutes of that, Gojo chuckles and speeds up his movements.

Sukuna notices this and speeds up his movements as well.

With them both pounding your cunt like wild animals all you can do is endure the pleasure befalling you.

You knew that this doubled as a competition to them, mainly Sukuna.

Sukuna had been whispering in your ear to not say his name under any circumstances. Gojo almost begged you to say his name.

“Don’t say his name.” Sukuna spat, almost getting cut off by Gojo.

“Say it, little human. Say my name, you already know it.” Gojo pleaded.

You didn’t quite understand why probably because they were fucking your brains out but as soon as Gojo hit your G-spot.. it was over. A loud scream of ‘Satoru Gojo.’

Gojo lifted his blindfold and grabbed your chin. He looks into your eyes for a second before chuckling and fucking you even harder. He kisses you deeply, earning a scowl from the man below you.

Yeah, he won’t like it. Gojo doesn’t care.

Groans and moans fill the space around you. Round after unending round almost seem unfulfilling to both of the men fucking you senseless.

Really, its almost as if you aren’t there. You don’t really know if their little competition is to see ‘who can cum in you the most’ or ‘who can make you cum the most.’ All you know is that your brain is completely mush by now.

With cum escaping both of your holes they finally notice you’re getting overstimulated. After they both cum inside you for the umpteenth time they stop and let you breathe.

You start to feel a pleasuring sensation right where Sukuna’s mark is. Overstimulated whimpers drip from your lips like sweet honey.

Sukuna knows its too late.

Gojo knows its just getting started.

While you’re writhing on the bed they both watch as six eyes appear around Sukuna’s mark, signaling Gojo has also claimed you.

Curses stream from Sukuna’s lips as Gojo chuckles.

STR4WZ STICKY NOTE < its been 3 days gang… daddy missed all my kittens… LMAO ANYWAYS!! i had NO clue for what i should do for a part two. This js like went kablewie in my head and bam its here!! Thanks so much love you all STR4WKINZI AWAYYYY!!! 3

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shadow-pixelle · 4 months

Text

Help the snippet grew legs

I did more snippet. I actually did more snippet checks nearly two weeks ago now, but then things went to pot a bit and I didn't post. Because I am a living disaster.

But yeah the last DCxDP snippet I wrote has grown legs. In fact it has grown so much legs that I know where it starts as well as where it goes from the last snippet onwards for a while.

I don't know how we got from the start to here, but that's not my problem right now.

This however is not the start. This follows up directly from this post from a month ago.

Jason had been on edge since getting back to Gotham. The sort of on edge that made him want to go patrolling Crime Alley, just to make sure everything was alright. Which was ridiculous, because he’d only been gone for a week, and more importantly he was exhausted and patrolling when he was this tired was asking for trouble.

Mostly, he just wanted to go home and sleep, but he needed to head to the Cave to check on some information regarding this case, just to make sure it was closed and stayed closed, so he turned his bike to go and do that first. At the very least it would be quiet there, since it was just late enough in the night that all the Bats would be swarming out on their own patrols.

So of course Babs patched herself into his comms not two minutes after returning.

“Hood.”

“Hey, O.” He said, because he couldn’t really be mad at her for any length of time. And it wasn’t like it was her fault he was on edge right now. “What’s up?”

“Are you heading to the Cave?”

“Yeeesss...?” Jason frowned slightly, leaning forward. “Why, is something wrong?”

“No, just need to warn you, we’ve got visitors.”

Jason jerked in surprise, then swore as he regained control of his bike. He pulled to a stop so that Babs wouldn’t lambast him about it, before replying. “Visitors?”

“Red Robin made some friends while you were gone.” She told him, with an odd tone in her voice. “They’re doing something involving the Lazarus Pits.”

Jason went cold. “They’re- what?”

“The Pits.” She repeated. “They- Hood, we don’t know anything about them. But Red Robin says they’re trustworthy, and yes we checked for mind control and things. There’s nothing. But they know more about the Pits than anyone we’ve ever met.”

Jason laughed, strangled. “What, really?”

“Really. I think they might know more than Ra’s does.” Babs sounded nervous, he realised with another cold flush, and he started his bike again and pushed off.

“That’s not suspicious at all.”

“No, it isn’t.” Babs sighed. “But Red trusts them, for some reason, enough to bring them to the Cave for whatever project they’re working on. The others are there too, he’s not alone, and we’re keeping an eye on things, but…”

“Yeah.” Jason knew. They were Bats, paranoia was in their nature. The fact that none of the Bats that had come into contact with these unknowns seemed bothered at all was… intensely concerning. “You want me to take a look or avoid it?”

“...You can come by, if you want. I’m watching remotely in case we need a League alert or something, but…”

“I hear you.” He sighed. “Who’re we dealing with?”

“They all look to be about mid-twenties. The main guy calls himself Phantom. The other two defer to him on just about everything, so he’s definitely the boss. No real description, he’s not human and only sometimes has a human shape. Fairly middling height and frail-looking when they do, white hair and glowing green eyes. Most the time he’s wearing a sort of hazmat suit of some kind, but that shifts sometimes. When he’s not human it’s pretty much impossible to describe him, but I guess the best way to put it is that he looks like space.” Babs immediately filled in.

“The other two seem to be some kind of subordinates. The man goes by Duulaman, he seems to be a mix of tech guy and magic. Phantom also seems to know his way around technology pretty well, hardware while Duulaman does software. His magic is Egyptian themed for the most part, and seems linked to his technological ability otherwise. Fairly tall, dark skin and blue eyes with a green shimmer, black hair. He wears glasses but I’m not convinced that they’re actually necessary rather than being some kind of device for either his magic or technology. Also, we can’t hack him.”

“What, at all?”

“Admittedly I’ve not tried too hard, I don’t want to make them hostile if they’re not going to be, but I think he uses his magic to amplify what his technology does. Just what little I’ve seen is incredible.”

“Huh.” Also concerning, but in a different way. Though if Babs wasn’t trying too hard then it might just be that Duulaman’s tech seemed harder to deal with than it is. “And the third?”

“A woman, Caucasian with black hair and mostly violet eyes. Little bit of a green shine there, too. She’s the tallest of the lot of them, pretty thin but not as frail-looking as Phantom. Not sure of much more about her, she doesn’t seem to have the same sort of technological abilities as the other two and she’s mostly been standing to the side like a guard or acting as an extra pair of hands whenever either of the males need something. Name seems to be Belladonna, but both males have been giving her a few different plant-related nicknames, so I’m not certain which one’s real.”

“Great.” He sighed again. “Don’t suppose there’s any way to get an idea of that?”

“Not likely. Other possible names are Nightshade, Overgrowth, Foxglove, Yew, and Daffodil.”

“Daffodil?” That didn’t quite fit the theme, though the fact that the woman had a theme of poisonous plants was concerning. Then again, neither did Overgrowth.

“Daffodils are poisonous, apparently.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

Babs went quiet for a while after that, letting Jason drive, and only spoke up again when he reached the entrance to the Cave.

“Be careful, Hood.”

“Always am, O.” He replied, slightly nervous despite himself. A part of him wanted to just run back to Crime Alley and go to bed, not deal with whatever disaster Tim had apparently brought into the family trying to study fucking Lazarus Pits, somehow. He just… didn’t want to deal with this.

But he had to, because if there was any chance the other Bats were under some kind of subtle mind control, they needed someone outside to go and take a look, and with Jason knowing about it ahead of time, there’d at least be a chance for Babs to call in the League if she saw a change.

The Cave was surprisingly quiet when he entered, though in a way Jason wasn’t surprised. The place was practically made to amplify certain sounds, and his bike roaring in was definitely one of them. Plus there was the fact that there were three unknowns in the Cave, so no-one was going to be talking about anything private or secret. Still, it was disconcerting to enter the Cave when it was so quiet, with none of the others calling out a greeting and no sounds of sparring on the mats. It just felt wrong, and Jason felt a chill run down his spine even as he stopped his bike and headed further in.

The chill only got worse when he saw the group. Most of the Bats were just hovering around the Cave, doing nothing in particular and obviously only there to keep an eye on the unknowns. Red Robin was the only one over by the workbench that had obviously been hurriedly pulled together from about four other smaller workbenches, leaning over it with his back to Hood. One of the strangers was with him, and Hood could suddenly understand why Oracle had said Phantom was difficult to describe. For the most part, he definitely looked like Oracle had said, a black hazmat-like outfit and white hair. Given the way he was leaning over the table next to Red Robin, it was hard to see much of him, but he did look fairly frail.

Except when Hood blinked, the man suddenly looked… well. Not human. At all. He could see what she meant by looking like space, because he just… cracked. Like a swirling void full of stars.

Then Hood blinked again, and he was back to normal, and all three strangers were straightening. The woman, maybe-Belladonna, looked up first from where she was hovering- not literally, unlike Phantom, who Hood now realised was literally floating at Red Robin’s side- behind Duulaman, met Hood’s eyes despite the helmet, and paled sharply. Duulaman looked up next, and both their eyes flashed a bright green- a toxic green, one only a few shades off being very familiar- before both swore sharply.

That was when Phantom turned around.

Hood froze. Not just from the sudden chill, fear biting down his spine in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time, but from the look. Something about Phantom seemed familiar, in a dangerous way. Floating slightly in the air, white hair waving like it was caught in an invisible breeze, and eyes shining a just as brilliant green as the other two but solid rather than mixed into their apparently-original colours. The being- because he wasn’t a human, no matter what he looked like most of the time and no matter what the other Bats thought, that wasn’t a meta or even an alien, he was something else- stared at him, a hazy mist of breath clouding in front of him, eyes wide.

There was a crackle of something like electricity and machinery starting, and Phantom disappeared. Hood suddenly felt like he could breathe again.

“Oh Ancients.” Duulaman murmured, looking pale. He was still staring at Hood, as was Belladonna, both of them looking horrified.

“Phantom?” Belladonna called, eyes darting upwards for a moment before returning to stare at Hood.

Slightly uncomfortable with the attention now, Hood looked up.

The Cave roof had been replaced with a starry sky. Based on… everything else about this situation, that was probably Phantom.

The electrical sound came again, somehow sounding apologetic and Hood had no idea how a noise like that could sound like that, and Duulaman sighed. “English, Phantom. Or at least something living, please.”

“Sorry.” The mass of space on the roof said, with an undertone of electricity and ice. “Just… Ancients.”

Belladonna laughed, a small, horrified sound. “You’ve got that right.”

“What happened to you?” Duulaman asked, and out of the corner of his eye Hood saw the rest of the Bats stiffen.

His focus was on the mass on the roof, though, which slowly crept down- like some demented dripping tap of space, Hood thought hysterically- to settle between Duulaman and Belladonna in a mind-twistingly strange blob.

The shape shimmered, and Phantom’s human form appeared, the space-blob folding away like it had never been there. He looked at Hood again, then winced and deliberately turned his head to focus on Duulaman as he leaned into his side. Light flickered again, and then-

Phantom shifted.

White hair swapped to black, the strange hazmat suit disappeared in favour of jeans and a long sleeved shirt- which looked immensely out of place compared to his… partners? Underlings? Outfits; Belladonna had a dramatic black dress lined with vines and pale flowers, and Duulaman leaned into the Egyptian theme with an outfit like a pharaoh. Compared to them, Phantom looked incredibly normal. Like a regular guy in his mid-twenties.

He looked over at Hood again, eyes now blue with only a faint green shine, and Hood shivered. No matter that he looked normal, something about the being still screamed unnatural.

“Phantom?” Both his partners asked, sounding surprised.

“Sorry.” He said, in a raspy voice. “It’s- easier, this way. Kidnapping isn’t exactly a good idea right now.”

“Kidnapping?!” Several of the Bats chorused, and Hood saw Batman stiffen ready to lunge.

Hood just couldn’t stop staring.

He was aware, faintly, of the conversation going on around him. More than aware, really; he was a Bat by training, he didn’t just… tune out of important conversations. Everything that was being said was being catalogued for later, held in the back of his head for evaluation once he had time. But at the same time, it was just… difficult. As much as he was aware of the conversation, he wasn’t really listening. A part of him just… couldn’t stop watching the three. Even as Phantom very deliberately looked away from Jason, almost like he couldn’t bare to look at him. As Duulaman put his hand on Phantom’s shoulder and Belladonna leaned into his side like they were anchoring him, while neither of them looked his way for more than brief glances that every time warped their faces into grimaces.

He was fully aware that the other Bats were interrogating the three. Something they really should have done long before this, before they brought them to the Cave because they were doing something with Lazarus Pits and knew too much about them. And he was well aware that none of them were making getting the information difficult. They talked easily, like none of it was a secret- and maybe it wasn’t. These Infinite Realms, these ghosts, everything about the Ancients and the halfas that Phantom apparently was, maybe none of it was a secret. Or maybe it was just that none of them cared, because-

Phantom looked him in the eyes for the first time since the start of this whole thing.

“Pariah Dark was a monster, and even he would consider what was done to you unforgivable.”

Jason jolted, pulling away from that horrible chill and the feeling that there was something incredible in front of him- something horrifying, something nightmarish and awful. And he listened, really listened, as Phantom laid out as best as he could what it felt like to look at him. It felt like drowning, almost, and somewhere in the back of his mind past the crystal haze of shock it felt like he was screaming. Jason just listened and stared as the three of them laid out how things felt to them- how he felt to them, and wasn’t that just hilarious, that there was something so deeply wrong with him that even these strange beings, these half-dead and partly dead people, were able to look at him and know immediately that something is wrong here.

He wondered a little if it was like the uncanny valley. If looking at him made these people, who were apparently ghosts or at least close to it, unnerved because there was something wrong here, something not quite correct for what it should be.

Of course he would be fucked up. He was already well aware that the Pit had done terrible things to him. What was one more?

Phantom glanced at him only once more, then focused on Batman.

“So,” he said, in a firm voice obviously used to being obeyed. “I’d quite like to know who did that to him. Because my next step is going to be to call the council, get war declared on them, and then erase them.”

Neither Belladonna or Duulaman objected. In fact they seemed like they agreed, or possibly they just didn’t intend to contradict the person that was their leader.

Jason wasn’t sure. He was still too busy being shocked, lost in a hazy daze of… something. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted too, and all he could do was stare at Bruce as well, waiting to see what was next.

Batman didn’t speak.

He wasn’t sure he was surprised.

The silence stretched, reaching a minute, two. Phantom continued to stare at Batman, who stared back, a firm line in what Jason could see of his mouth. No-one else moved.

Jason took a shuddering breath, and a step back. It was more of a stumble, really, and it broke the holding pattern the rest of the room was in. Eyes snapped to him.

The three- ghosts? Realms beings? Whatever they were- looked directly at him with only a slight wince. Phantom tensed slightly, like he wanted to spring, and both Duulaman and Belladonna did the same in response, hands grasping at their leader as if to keep him in place.

Jason took another trembling breath, and bolted.

Someone- Dick, he thought, but he couldn’t quite tell over the shuddering sounds of his own breaths and heartbeats- shouted after him, but Jason didn’t stop. He just ran, going straight for his bike and leaving.

The chill lingered in the back of his chest the entire time. Jason couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so cold.

He hadn’t even realised he’d been warm, until he saw Phantom. Now there was just the chill, slowly seeping into his bones. He wasn’t even sure that was Phantom’s fault, though.

After all, Bruce had been silent.

Why would Dad tell them who hurt him? It wasn’t like Jason was his son, or anything. It wasn’t like it was only the League, like it was only the Joker, like it wouldn’t deal with so many of their problems without them needing to do anything.

He somehow wasn’t surprised.

So Jason ran.

#dcxdp #fic writing #my writing #random scenes from the abyss #except this au actually might be a Thing now so it's kinda not that #idk it can keep that tag until it figures out what it's doing #danny phantom #sam manson #tucker foley #jason todd #honestly this is probably going to be a really interesting thing to mess around with #i don't know where it's going or where it's coming from #but hey doesn't that just make it more fun?#(no but it does make the writing a lot more disordered)#braided fates au

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shifterbee · 3 months

Text

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD

My Relationship With Reality Shifting

What I'm going to be talking about:

How I found out about shifting

My initial thoughts/ feelings about shifting

What led me to believe in shifting

Why I don't doubt that shifting is real

What doubts I do have (let's be honest, not everyone can be completely free of doubts)

My approach to shifting when I first started

My current approach to shifting

I didn't want this post to be too long so if you want/need me to explain anything further then let me know <3

Any trigger warnings will be in place wherever may be necessary <3

How it all started:

Like many people in this community, I first found out about shifting through TikTok in 2020. In my case, it was around mid-September when I was scrolling through my FYP and saw the video that changed my life forever.

OK, that was a bit dramatic, but you get the point. The video that I saw was this girl acting out something that she claimed happened in her DR. The scene went something like this (my memory is really blurry, so bear with me):

She had just shifted back to her DR, and It was during the battle at Hogwarts. there were a bunch of people coming up to her saying things like "Where did you go?" and "We missed you so much"(your typical 2020 misinformation). the battle was starting, and she looked at everyone and said, "I know what will help us. everyone close your eyes, trust me." IDK, I think she was trying to group shift everyone out of her DR???? either way it didn't work but when they opened their eyes the portals from Avengers Endgame(I think) started opening up and the Avengers stepped out of them. Her reaction to that was like "Well I guess that also works".

There might have been more to it, but that's all I can remember right now. Also PLEASE tell me if you also saw that video and/or remember who posted it. I wonder what they're doing now.

At first, I was a little confused, but then I looked at the tags and saw one that said: "reality shifting." at this time, my FYP was filled with a bunch of fanfic-related stuff, So I guess because of that, I just assumed that reality shifting was just a weird fanfic tope used in crossover fics. I was also sort of on DracoTok, so I wasn't really confused about why I would be seeing Harry Potter fanfic on my FYP.

I scrolled away from the video and didn't think much of it until a few days later when I looked up the tag and saw a bunch of videos with advice and methods on how to shift. at this point I was very confused and I was just thinking "Wait, are these people being fr". After scrolling through the tag for a bit I found a video explaining what it was.

I don't know who made that video. But one thing I do know is that I have never doubted the existence of shifting since.

Why I started believing:

I'm just going to use bullet points for this section. but if you want me to go into more detail about anything, let me know.

my prior knowledge/belief of out-of-body experiences (i.e. astral projection)

my belief that humans are always more powerful than what we usually think/believe.

Also, potential TW: brief mention of drugs

probably the biggest reason was a story I heard from a YouTuber about one of his friends who, after taking DMT, claimed to have lived in a forest with elves for 3 years and was able to give a detailed description of what happened in those 3 years. The story I'm talking about is about 10 minutes into this video I immediately thought of this story when I saw videos of people talking about their experiences in their DRs. And since this drug is something that can be naturally produced by the brain, it didn't seem like much of a stretch to suggest that you could trigger its production without taking any drugs.

I want to make it very clear that I am not promoting or encouraging the use of drugs/illegal substances in order to shift.

My approach to shifting then vs. now:

I have always treated shifting like a skill. At first, I thought that if I practiced the methods/techniques I learned from Shifttok enough, I would eventually have to shift.

Now, I treat shifting as something you allow yourself to do rather than force. It's kind of like sleeping. The more you try to force it, the less likely it's going to happen.

More recently, I have been focusing more on improving my confidence when it comes to my abilities. In my opinion, it is not enough to intend to do something you also have to have the confidence to be able to do it.

I think that is why most people aren't shifting. There are only so many times a person can fail at something and not lose their confidence.

End Notes:

I think that this is all I wanted to say. But, once again, if you want me to explain something, let me know what it is.

#shiftblr #shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #shifters #shifter #shifting antis dni #shifting realities #reality shifter #shifting community

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lovesickgolbach · 1 year

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Words I didn't say 3 || LN4

Description: Things were different this time around.

Pairings: Lando Norris x Verstappen!reader

Warnings: none! actually, my dutch might be a liiiiiittle off so sorry about that, at least i tried :)

A/N: hello! hi! my writing style has DRASTICALLY changed so this fic is like 10x better quality than the other two so... oops. Maybe i'll rewrite them one day, maybe not. we'll see.

but for now- enjoy and thank you for reading <3

Part 1 , Part 2

A week had gone by since you and Max had your falling out, he had texted you but you had ignored them all by leaving him on read or just archiving the chat so that his name wouldn’t be on your screen every time you opened your phone.

You were deeply hurt by Max’s actions, not just because of the yelling, but because he accused you of lying. It hurt because he was your twin brother, literally your other half, he was your best friend and you know everything about each other (yes, everything). How he could accuse you of lying to him so easily just baffles you.

The thing is— Max knows how you feel about your father, he knows why you never initiate any sort of communication from your side with him, even though he’s at nearly every race weekend. You’ve accepted the fact that Max will always worship your father and you respect his decision not to completely cut him off, but you spoke with him about this and he knows to keep Jos away from you.

You sit on Lando’s couch, swimming in your thoughts as you stare at a message from Kelly, this was the first text she has sent you all week, not wanting to get between you and your brother’s drama. You sigh, locking your phone and tossing it to the side.

“Hey,” Lando speaks up as he walks into the apartment, looking sweaty and disheveled from his workout. You had to physically restrain yourself from not jumping on top of him. Things have been mostly normal between the two of you, the only thing that’s changed is that you aren’t dating anymore. You don’t sleep in his bed, you don't kiss or have sex or cuddle when you watch movies. You’ve been sleeping in the guest room since that night you showed up at his doorstep in tears.

“Hey,” you respond, shooting him a soft smile. “How was the workout?” You question, watching him as he refills his water bottle and taking a few sips. “It was alright, fucking hot but it was alright.” He flops down next to you on the couch, letting out a huff of air.

“Heard anything from Max?” he questions, looking over at you. You roll your eyes, “What do you think? Even Kelly is texting me now. Says he’s been quiet,” You shrug, shifting to cross your legs. Lando looks over at you, “He was at the gym, when I got there. He looks like shit, honestly. He did try talking to me, but I ignored him. I was sure he was almost in tears when I walked off.” His expression is neutral as he speaks, wanting to gauge your answer.

“Good.” Is all you say in response. Yeah, you feel bad for making your brother (who doesn’t like to get emotional) cry, but he had yelled at you and sent you into a full blown panic attack. He deserved to be upset. He deserved to be worried.

“Y/N—” Lando starts, but you cut him off by lifting your hand to silence him. “I am planning on going back to his place anyway, tomorrow. He’ll survive one more night.”

Lando just nods, before getting up. “I’m going to hop in the shower. Do you… want to talk after I’m done?” he questions, you just nod, “Yeah, we should talk, properly, I guess.”

He nods silently before making his way over to his bedroom and closing the door.

You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t.

But you do it anyway.

You jump up from the couch, running over to his room before opening the door, not bothering to knock. Lando lets out a surprised scream, standing in only his white boxers, trying to desperately cover himself up. “Y/N!? What are you—”

You cut him off with a kiss, smashing your lips together roughly, he instantly kisses back, his hands finding their way to your waist. You pull back after a moment, breathless and red-lipped from the kissing. You look into his eyes, those gentle blue-green eyes you fell in love with when you first looked at him.

“This is not me fully forgiving you… we need to— we need to discuss a few things still, but this is me telling you I still love you, I still want to be with you and— and I do love you, I still love you, I never stopped, Lando, But if— if we want us to work out, we can’t hide anymore, I don’t want to hide anymore. I want to kiss you in the paddock and sit in your garage, I want to hold your hand in public, I want to be known as your girlfriend.” Your words come out shaky, a few tears running down your face.

Lando nods rapidly, “Yes, yes anything you want, baby, anything. I won’t lose you again, I won’t. I’m so sorry, so so sorry.” He pulls you into a tight hug which you reciprocate immediately. You feel so safe with him. Your heart is his, it always has been.

“Do you… want to join me in the shower?” Lando asks, unsure of where your boundaries are set at this point in time. It’s not like he’s never seen you naked so you shrug, before pulling your top off.

“Why not,” You smile, taking his hand and dragging him into the bathroom.

–

The next day, Lando drives you back to your brother's place, parking in the driveway. You turn to him, kissing his cheek softly. “I think it’s better if i do this alone, okay? I will text you.”

Lando nods, giving you a reassuring smile. “You can do this, I love you.”

“I love you too.” You kiss him again quickly before walking to the front door and letting yourself in. Before you can even step a foot into the house you are nearly tackled to the ground by a little figure.

“Y/N!!!!!!” The little girl screeches, trying to practically climb her way up into your arms. “Hey sweet P!” You plaster on a smile, picking her up and hugging her tightly. God, you loved this little girl so much. “Missed you,” She mumbles into your neck and you can't help the sting you feel in your chest. You didn't think about her when you left, usually she would see you at least once or twice every week, your chest stings thinking about how she was probably waiting for you to visit but you never came.

“I missed you too,” You kiss her cheek as you make your way to the living room, where you found your brother, yelling into his headphones at whoever he was playing with.

You move so that you're in his field of vision, still cradling P against your chest. His head snaps up when he sees you.

“Y/N…” Max looks surprised to see you.

You place P down gently, “Go play upstairs and I will come play with you okay?” You smile brightly at the little girl who nods vigorously, making a beeline for the stairs.

“Do not run up the stairs Penelope!” Max yells after her, turning back to you before placing his controller down.

"Y/N…” He starts again but you shake your head, effectively cutting him off. “I do not want your excuses. Ik verdiende niet wat je me hebt aangedaan.” I did not deserve what you did to me.

Max looks down at his hands. “Jij bezit my niet,” You don't own me. You growled, feeling the same kind of anger you felt just a week prior. “You are my brother and that is it, I can do with my life what I want. You don't get to yell at me like Dad used to, you don't get to yell at me and expect me to just—” you vaguely gesture with your hands, “— crack and tell you everything.”

“En Max, hoe durf je me te beschuldigen van liegen!” And Max, how dare you accuse me of lying! Your voice came out as a low, calm growl. You take a deep breath, trying not to fucking combust on the spot.

Max is silent, but nods.

“Did you… did you… did you…have a panic attack? When you left?” He asks after a beat of silence, his eyes brimmed with tears. You know your brother isn't a crier, so this is hurting him just as much as it's hurting you. It’s gone too far.

"Yeah... I went straight to Lando's... I couldn't—" You shut your eyes, squeezing them together in an attempt to stop the tears. It's all become too much. It's all been blown way out of proportion.

You let your boyfriend and Max’s best friend get in the way of your relationship you have with your brother. The special bond you two had, has been damaged because of some stupid boy. You both were blinded, Max was blinded by his protectiveness of you and you were blinded by your loyalty to Lando.

You sigh, moving across the room to sit down next to him. You lay your head on his shoulder. “Why did you say I lied to you… I have never ever lied to you, Max.” Your voice was laced with pure hurt, your heart breaking from the beginning just thinking of Max accusing you of lying.

“I was just angry, Y/N. He promised to not hurt you and he did, he did hurt you and I was just so fucking angry, I could not believe you were defending him…”

Silence fell upon the room again, the only sound that could be heard was the rhythmic sniffling coming from you and Max. He laid his head against yours.

“Je leek zoveel op papa op dat moment. It was so scary, Max.” You looked so much like Dad in that moment. You let out a sob that you've been trying to suppress. Your brothers’ arm wraps around your shoulder's protectively.

“Het spijt me, Y/N, vergeef me alsjeblieft,” I am so sorry, Y/N, please forgive me. Max looks over to you, and all you can do is nod. It wouldn't help anyone if you just stayed angry, and you were exhausted anyways.

You just wanted things to go back to normal.

And slowly but surely they did, you had eventually moved back in with Lando, your relationship had slowly but surely gotten back to where it was, perhaps even better than it was. Max had been trying his best to not be overbearing, giving you space and trying not to play the role of an overprotective brother who gives his sister no freedom.

There was definitely still some tension between Max and Lando, Max still didn't fully trust him with you after everything, but things were different now. The public knew about your relationship now, girls no longer flung themselves at your boyfriend, touching him and feeling him up and down at every opportunity thinking he’s single. Lando had been working on proving himself, that he’s changed, that he's loyal to you and only you.

Things were different this time around.

Things have been good.

Things will get even better.

You can't wait to see what the future holds.

#f1 x you #formula 1 imagine #f1 x reader #lando norris x reader #f1 imagine #formula1 x you #lando norris imagine #ln4 #lando norris fanfic

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rubykgrant · 5 months

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(Segment of my story, How It Feels, with Jon and Martin recovering at Daisy's cabin after leaving London, and before the Eye Apocalypse happens. This in particular focuses on Martin, how he's changed since being in the Lonely, and how he is also still himself. This involves tooth loss and feelings of depression/disassociation, but isn't gory, and leans more toward being comforting. Inspired by the art of @lonelyslutavatar ~)

Jon is quite proud of himself for responding to Martin in a very calm manner, instead of rushing in and assuming the worst.

The calm quickly shatters when he sees Martin standing in the bathroom, face a mix of embarrassed and worried, holding two teeth in the palm of his hand.

Several teeth-related horror stories from past statements flash into Jon’s mind (the apple, a few dozen about some sort of “evil tooth fairy” that were probably not real but still upsetting, and several connected to the Flesh and the Hunt). Jon nearly starts to panic as well, but somehow he composes himself, and moves slowly, helping Martin sit down on the lid of the toilet, and begins trying to figure this out.

Martin has some pain in his jaw, but nothing feels “broken”, and there isn’t any blood. The teeth look “fine”, except for the fact that they aren’t where they should be. Jon asks Martin to open his mouth, and it doesn’t appear as if anything is infected or irritated. To be thorough, Jon runs to get a small torch.

“I’m VERY close to freaking out! Just so you know!” Martin says, loudly.

“Yes, I’m- I’m sorry, I’ll be there in a-”

“ANOTHER ONE JUST CAME LOOSE!” Martin is able to spit it out before yelling the news to Jon. He does NOT want to swallow any of his teeth.

“I’M COMING BACK! HERE! HERE I AM!” Jon stumbles to a stop at the small door, and walks back in carefully.

This time, Martin opens his mouth WIDE, and Jon shines the little light to see properly.

“Oh,” Jon says after a moment.

“Oh? Oh, WHA?” Martin asks, making sure his mouth doesn’t close.

“Oh, um… I sort of see the- er, the issue?” Jon answers, without actually giving Martin a real answer.

“Wha ih ih?” What is it?

“Well, I can see the empty areas, where your teeth were, and… it looks like something is, er- pushing them out?” Jon elaborates. Martin finds this description unhelpful and worrisome.

“UH HUH UH AH EEE?!” The fuck does that mean?! Good God, what was in his mouth?

“Sorry! There are NEW teeth coming in! Like- like when we lose our baby teeth, and-”

“I AREHEE AH I AHEE HEE! HOW OOH I HAH OR!?” Martin demands, and after a brief second of trying to translate it in his head, Jon realizes Martin has just said- “I already lost my baby teeth! How do I have more!?”.

“Uhh…” before Jon can say anything else, two more teeth fall out, helped by Martin’s attempts to talk. These were from his top row, on the left side. They completely leave Martin’s mouth, and land in his lap. Martin groans, irritated. Jon tries to speak again, before something else distracts him. “If- I had to guess, which is all I’m doing, I’m sorry, this- this might be like your OWN spooky puberty?”

Martin groans again, giving Jon a glare.

“You were working with- hell I’m just saying his name, Peter, you were working with Peter for a while, and before that you were working at the Institute. That changed all of us, a little bit, but Peter really pushed you along, and… what finally made me change and become something more than just human was- I died. Sort of. When I was in that coma, I was pretty close to being dead, but then I came back. You were… you were almost ready to fade away when I finally found you, and then you came back. I think you might have become something more than just human,” Jon pauses a moment, to let Martin have a chance to understand what he’s saying… and because another tooth falls out. “And we saw what happens to ME when I don't feed on any statements, so… you haven’t been doing anything at all when it comes feeding what you are connected to,”

Jon places his hand on Martin’s cheek and turns off the torch, letting Martin know he can close his mouth again. Martin does so, and then immediately gives an angry huff, spitting still another tooth into his hand. He gathers up the rest in his lap, so he’s holding all of them together.

“What the hell. The isn’t FAIR. Your- your eyeballs didn’t fall out when YOU changed! And why my TEETH?! Am I supposed to start eating people? Peter didn’t even do that!” Martin blinks a few times, uncertain. “I mean, I never SAW him to that…”

“This might not be so LITERAL. I doubt this is a sign you need to actually eat anybody-”

“Pff, whatever, you don’t KNOW…” Martin scoffs.

“What I mean is- sometimes when people like us change, it isn’t always straight-forward. This might be more… like it symbolically represents the way loneliness can, er- consume you? Eat you up?” Jon is leaning back against the wall opposite Martin, arms crossed anxiously. He hunches his shoulders up, as if to shrug in a way that asks for approval.

Martin does not exactly “approve”, but unfortunately, he’s beginning to see that Jon may have a point. He also remembers that nightmare he had, as if it had been some kind of “punishment” for rejecting the Lonely. The fact that Martin can now remember Peter purposefully pulling him into the Lonely to avoid true and permanent death added up as well. Did the Eye punish Jon when he wouldn’t feed it new fear? Yes, he supposes so.

“Wonderful. So my teeth are falling out as a METAPHOR. And what am I even supposed to DO about it? Read statements that are relevant to feeling forlorn and isolated?” Martin now feels THREE teeth pop loose. Great. More to add to the collection in his hands.

“Perhaps not…” Jon ventures another guess. “That’s sort of the specific thing I’m stuck doing. And it started even before the coma, remember? So maybe- was there anything you did while working with Peter that might have been related to feeding this particular kind of fear? It might have even been something that seemed almost normal, but the more it happened, the more it had an affect on you, and when you stopped, you felt strange?”

Martin’s first reaction is to just say NO, because he’s in an ornery mood (Why shouldn’t he be moody? His teeth are falling out! He has a right!). Instead, he tries to give Jon’s question some real thought…

When Jon was still in the coma, and Peter first became the “new boss”, Martin had initially tried to take on more responsibility as a way to shield other people from the problems that came from working so closely with… a man like that. The most unnerving part was how pleasant Peter seemed. He often asked Martin to come along as his personal assistant when he went on various errands; some were clearly for meeting with other unusual people part of the whole Fear situation, while others were part of the more normal side of business for the Magnus Institute.

These people, in either situation, would usually not even acknowledge Martin at all until Peter made a point to turn to him, ask a question or make a request, and then they’d startle to see there was a WHOLE man there beside Peter. When Martin got more used to it all, he’d speak up on his own, blatantly pointing out when somebody was giving Peter incorrect information or outright lying. In those moments, they were not only surprised that Martin existed, they were suddenly INTIMIDATED by him.

Peter was very amused by this, and proudly complimented Martin on being so “accomplished”.

Yeah, that may have been how this started.

Martin was well practiced at going unnoticed, keeping quiet, fading into the background. That was a good way to keep yourself safe. It was also a good way to be lonely. The shock of suddenly being given attention no doubt fed Peter’s patron Fear plenty of Martin’s own nervous energy… and when Martin did it on purpose, making himself known with an aloof sort of confidence, it caused unease in other people. The Lonely probably loved feeding on all that.

That was the start… but what turned it into a pattern, something that Martin had to continue doing, and also something that he did without thinking about it?

It finally occurs to Martin that what was happening when he first left the Lonely might be a hint; the sleepwalking. That never happened back in London, not exactly. However… very often, when Martin left the hospital after visiting Jon, or took a break in the evening in the middle of working late, he would walk through the city and let his mind wander.

No, that was putting it mildly. He’d feel a growing disconnect from his own feelings and thoughts, and whatever remained gave him a sense of bored contempt, if anything.

He blended into the crowds, but still wasn’t “part” of it all. Martin remained separate, even in the shared experience of riding the bus or waiting for a light to change.

Occasionally he would pop into a store and use the self check-out lane, or even a bar with no intention to mingle or drink, and he would go unnoticed.

All around him, he would see people talking to each other, or chatting on calls, crying over break-ups, getting into arguments, lying about what they were doing, waiting to meet somebody who wasn’t coming, staring at displays in stores of things they longed to buy but couldn’t afford, getting frustrated after searching for a job all day, trying to be funny for friends or deal with a stressful visit with family… Martin could nearly picture himself, as if looking on from another point of view, and he was nothing but a nameless face on the street.

Obscure and forgettable. Martin would walk on, automatically, no effort in reaching his destination. It was eventual and certain. He may as well be a memory, instead of somebody who was still there.

Then he would be back at the Institute, or at home, and his thoughts would click back into place. Maybe he’d take a shower, or have something to eat. If it wasn’t too late and he was done with research or paperwork, he’d watch something on TV. It was alright. Mostly.

In the current situation, with Martin sitting on the toilet in a bathroom of a safehouse in Scotland, trying to figure out why he’s losing his teeth… he thinks that he’s finally connected some dots, and sees the bigger picture.

“Yeah… well, um- I guess maybe when I would walk around London and sort of lose myself in groups of people, without interacting with anybody, that was possibly like feeding on loneliness. So. Maybe I just need to do THAT again,” Martin looks up at Jon again, now the one checking to see if what he’s saying makes any sense.

“Hmm… it might work when you go out to buy us supplies. You’ll be around people again, and- whatever lonely feelings they have,” Jon nods, though he doesn’t look happy about it. That’s fine. Martin isn’t happy, either.

“What if I… Jon, when you got REALLY bad, you compelled people to talk about things when they didn’t want to. What if I VANISH somebody? What if I can’t control this?” Martin asks, and as soon as he closes his mouth, he has to spit three more teeth into his hand.

“That is upsetting, I know…” Jon replies, reaching out one hand to place on Martin’s shoulder. “But, listen- a few days after I started to really try and rein myself in, one of the people I compelled actually showed up at the Institute again. I was… well, I- erm…”

“You were outside, sneaking a smoke,” Martin guesses.

“Yes, FINE. Anyway, I thought they were still having problems because of me, and I immediately apologized and assured them it wouldn't happen again. I was honestly sort of distressed about that, I didn’t want to go find everybody I had compelled, because seeing me might just make them even MORE afraid, but I still wanted to say I was sorry… well, this person told me they only came there to explain they weren't angry with me. They didn't forgive me exactly, but-,”

“What, they wanted to rescind what they said before? Like, withdraw the complaint?” Martin raises his eyebrows at this.

“Something like that. They told me… they weren’t having nightmares anymore, about me OR what I made them talk about. It had faded after a while. They also told me that it sort of helped, in a weird way, to finally confront something they’d been ignoring for so long. And now they knew, the world had scary things in it, that was REAL, and they weren’t crazy for wanting to be careful…” Jon sees Martin wants to jump into the conversation, but has to pause to catch another tooth that has escaped. Jon continues talking, knowing what Martin was going to ask.

“The reason I didn’t say anything at the time- I didn’t want it to seem like I was making excuses. Oh, this person says the nightmares stopped and they faced their fears, this means nobody should be mad at me anymore! Hell, no. I still forced people to share private thoughts and experiences against their will, and that wasn’t right. I’m only telling you this NOW because I’m hoping that you being around people in public, absorbing whatever you need, THAT will be more like when I read the statements. The fear and the hurt already happened. You aren’t making it worse. If you keep ignoring this hunger, then… it will most likely get more intense, but even if that happens, you still might not vanish somebody to death. People even escaped from what Peter did, occasionally. I just don’t want you to feel… hopeless,”

“OK… yeah, OK. This is still pretty fucked, though,” Martin says, trying to steady his breathing.

“Yes. And it will probably continue to be fucked. But we can try to help each other feel better,” Jon smiles down at Martin, and somehow, that makes a tense knot in his chest loosen.

Jon waits with Martin as the last few teeth come loose, and gets a small glass jar for them. After some “Should I leave them under my pillow?” jokes, Jon grabs the small torch again to see what the situation is with Martin’s new set of teeth…

“You really don’t feel them growing in?”

“Uh-uh,” Martin may not physically feel the teeth coming into place, but he has noticed that the ache in his jaw is gone, and the weird grinding has stopped (that was probably his weird new “spooky” bones making room for his weird new “spooky” teeth. This sounded like such a stupid problem when he thought of it that way, but there just wasn’t a better term unfortunately).

“Well, they’re almost all here, and- they’re sharp! Martin, your new teeth are POINTY!” Jon uses his hand not holding the torch to tilt Martin’s head back slightly.

“WHA? LIE A HA-HIRE?” What? Like a vampire?

“No, not like that… you don’t have fangs, exactly… oh lord, I can see them rising up!” Jon says, and now Martin is starting to get annoyed that he sounds EXCITED about this. “They’re wider, and sort of flat… Martin, I think these are like- like shark teeth!”

Jon has set the torch aside, and is now holding Martin’s head with both his hands, leaning him back even more so the light from the ceiling shines into Martin’s mouth. Jon is pushing aside Martin’s upper lip to see the teeth as they move through the gum better, and that is IT, Martin is DONE.

“GEH YER FEE-HERS OW UH I OW!” before Jon can translate that into “Get your fingers out of my mouth!”, Martin actually SNARLS as a final warning, Jon whips his hands away, and just to be dramatic, Martin CHOMPS his mouth shut.

His new teeth are officially finished growing in; all the severe ridges fit together. Sharp, solid, and strong.

Shark teeth... really? Was that just the Lukas Brand? Martin has to turn half-way into a SEA MONSTER? For the aesthetic?

Jon knows Martin wasn’t actually going to bite him… and Martin knows that Jon knows this. Which is why Jon still looks more fascinated than afraid of Martin’s new MONSTER TEETH, and that just makes Martin want to try and snap at him again. Jon can see that as well, and he starts to snort laughter. Martin wishes he was strong enough to stay furious, but the corners of his mouth betray him, curving into a smile.

Yep. All his human adult teeth fell out, he’s got weird spooky shark teeth now, he’s damn near close to laughing about it. He must be mad. Oh, well. So is Jon.

#tma #the magnus archives #jmart #jonmartin

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project-sekai-facts · 5 months

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Sorry if this spoils you um... TSUKASA FOCUS!! What are your thoughts on what might happen? Based on the event description and then bunny plush being w tsukasa in the untrained.. im inclined to think because he's been cast as a minor role, he's kind of. like. What if i cant cause many smiles because of where i am.. and then meikos like you silly goose. you're the brightest star in someones universe and the bunny is there to remind him . AUGHH. AUGH

dw daichan already spoiled it on the stream last month lmao. Oh this event looks so interesting and frankly!! it's perfect for tsukasa's character arc!!! sorry about the excess of exclamation marks i'm excited about the possibility that people might finally understand him after this event and finally free me from writing analysis posts about him haha.

him being a minor part is literally what he needs to improve his acting. he's always either the lead or a major character, taking a step back is like another slap of realism for him and honestly, it might even be better for him than the challenges he's faced before when he struggled with lead roles. because he can't always be the lead, that just isn't a possibility. no matter how good an actor is they will not be the lead in everything they star in. he's pushed his limits to get lead roles before (Torpe, Rio, also the secondary lead Bartlett), so i think approaching a minor role is going to be a whole new experience for him.

I'm especially interested in the fact he's tasked with making the character feel real because we all know what that means: some good old fashioned Tsukasa unpacking his emotions. we don't know yet exactly what this minor character is doing, so i can't really make any guesses as to what is meant to feel real about it since we don't know their motivations and conflicts yet, but i get the feeling it will play into the fact that Tsukasa got the minor role, like how Rio played into his weaknesses and Torpe connected to his younger self.

As I said, Tsukasa is pretty much always the lead or some significant role. In this scenario as well when what he’s trying to do is improve his acting, such a minor role could feel like nothing. I think those feelings (be it annoyance or disappointment or whatever it may be in the story) are somehow going to play a part in how he has to make such a minor character feel real.

Also I think one of the aspects Tsukasa struggles with most is understanding the characters he plays. With Torpe he couldn’t relate to him and therefore struggled to play the role because he couldn’t get his head around how the character should act. With Rio he struggled too, and tried to replicate some of the character’s struggles in real life to help him try and get into the mindset of the character. But those two were MCs, a minor character with three lines is a whole different story because they don’t have an arc. However, all characters in a good story will have some sort of motive and you will be able to tell what that is from only a few lines. Good dialogue should be able to tell you a lot about a character. I think that’s what Tsukasa is going to learn in this event. Minor characters are not irrelevant even if they don’t contribute to any major plot points. All the characters in the world of that story are real people with individual lives and thoughts and feelings.

And to steer this away from me talking too much about screenwriting I think a minor role as you pointed out could be a hit to his desire to make people smile. Because who cares about a character with three lines? The hero makes people smile, not a forgettable background guy. The forgettable background guy won’t mean anything to anyone, he won’t make anyone smile, and he’s not a star.

Also the preview and title I think will play into these insecurities and lessons. He can’t be the lead every time, he can’t always be the big star of the show. However he can make a small role into a highlight, and even if he isn’t the frontman, there will always be people who will view him as the star of the show regardless, like Saki (Usa-chan) and WxS, and he can at least make them smile.

#just as a afterword I’m almost never correct about event story predictions #asks #mod talks #speculation

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wulvercazz · 5 months

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🤖And Secrets Untold🗝️

A little written-only Android!AU update before the next (and last) art post for the AU💕✨ Hope you enjoyyy

(Previous~)

Some tags; some mild robot gore, murder/murder scene descriptions

Grimmjow didn’t elaborate further after that. In fact, Grimmjow didn’t speak much at all anymore after the memory core lit up in place and flooded the android with the knowledge of a synthetic life lived.

He brooded. Glared at Ichigo when he tried to press further, answered with scoffs and rolls of his eyes when he asked about Professor Jaegerjaquez. It’s definitely not how he expected things to go when he had the idea to search for Grimmjow’s memories in hopes he’d know where to find the genius who created him.

So much for a victory.

“I’m doing this so I can repair you—“ Ichigo huffs out after one more scoff from the droid, his pliers clanking on the table, irritated. “He’s dead, fine, but maybe you can remember who he worked with? If he had a partner then—“

“He worked alone.”

Ichigo’s almost startled when, finally, there’s an actual response from him; “right… well, then… maybe you watched him work? With your kind of memory… anything he may have told you about you is stored somewhere-“

“He told me nothing.”

Grimmjow sure knew how to extinguish any sort of attempt at hope like ice cold water.

“All the old man did was drink and regret ever making me.” It’s the quiet harshness behind his voice, the subtle hue of pain, that once more trouble Ichigo; real enough that they tinge his heart with sorrow for the half-functioning android on his worktable. “Guess he was as disturbed by how not human I am as you are.”

No. No, that’s not it. He’s not disturbed by his ‘lack of humanity’, the contrary, in fact. Terrified that anything this human can exist outside human flesh; so much so that his existance within this room doesn’t fill his home with the empty chill that the mountains of appliances and other androids he’s paid to repair give him.

He’s terrified— because that means either he’s truly lost his sanity to this cold hellhole he calls a home, or what he knows about reality is about to be re-written by an android that should not be possible by nature’s rules. And it’s just now becoming more and more abundantly clear that he’s still, at least, more or less sane; the revelation that Grimmjow’s been quietly attempting to figure out Ichigo’s perception of him, only make his cold white plates and metal bones feel as human as his own.

“Grimm, I don’t— you are-“

“My name code is Grimmjow.”

“Grimmjow, I don’t... feel disturbed by you.” And Ichigo stutters when the android raises an accusatory brow, “n-not the way you think. I don’t know what the fuck was going on through Professor Jaegerjaquez’ mind when he created you — alright? — what I know is… there are no androids like you. You are… more real than anything I ever thought was possible from an android; if he expected anything more than you already are… the guy might as well have wanted to become a god, and he might have already grazed divinity as is.”

Grimmjow’s quiet pondering, and his eyes practically scanning Ichigo’s face bring sudden heat to his face. He’s not sure what exactly he just called the android, but he’s pretty sure it’s something near worship. The android’s eyes close finally, and almost sags in his place, “you’re more of a loser than I thought.”

Eh?

“Hah??” Is the lone indignant sound Ichigo gets out his chest, “I was trying to— you know what, fuck you!”

The small, shit eating grin that curls Grimmjow’s white lips is just as mocking and rude as all he’s ever been since he brought him here; and yet… Ichigo’s never been more entranced by a smile before...

“I said: I can tell you where he worked.” Grimmjow’s tiny brows twitch with annoyance, and Ichigo’s horrified by how welcome Grimmjow’s nasty attitude is in comparison to the quiet brood of before. Clearly, he got lost for a second too long in the implications of a grin for the android’s taste.

“I never left the facility, but I know the coordinates.”

The place Grimmjow’s coordinates point to is not far from where he found him, unsurprisingly; deep in the abandoned foundations of the city where people used to live before that too became unlivable for anyone not filthy rich.

Figuring out which building exactly is the one professor Jaegerjaquez hid out in to do his work, is a challenge in itself. It took him days of going back and forth between buildings with crusty tinted windows, of peeking in cracks of doors jabbed in place by layers of crust and abandoned crap. He finally knew he was in the right place when he peeked inside one last crashed window and saw messy footprints followed by a heavy path towards towards him rubbed off the dust on the floor. He hoped whoever did this, because it was clear now that Professor Jaegerjaquez didn’t die without help, had the decency to take the body with them.

His boots hit the floor with a choking cloud of dust rising around him; Ichigo patted down the bits of broken glass that came off with him when he sneaked inside and tried not to cough the dirt off his lungs too loudly. He lit his work glasses on and pulled out a supporting flashlight to guide him inside, following the tracks left on the dusty ground.

It seems simple enough. Walks in to the rest of the building, past the lonely apartment he came in through, and into another that looks less lonely than the whole structure itself. But the tracks stop here; not enough dust to reveal much of anything.

The place is a mess of papers and empty bottles of cheap alcohol, flies buzzing off dirty dishes that not even the automated washer in the kitchen could ever deal with. It takes everything in him not to gag upon the first breath. The man was… clearly unstable. Grimmjow’s short words in his regard were pretty accurate.

But he wasn’t here trying to solve anyone’s murder, not here to try and understand the madness, but rather what it created, and this.. doesn’t look anything like what he’d expected to find.

Ichigo flashes his light in every direction, to the sweaty, alcohol stained couch and the fly ridden tubs of take-out, to the likely just as dirty bathroom and the crack in the door to what he supposes was the man’s bedroom.

There’s just as much crap littering the room, except, for once, it’s not simply trash and scraps of food. It’s… printed pictures, the type not many people keep anymore these days; dimly lit faces covering the floor and the bed and, upon opening the door, the blood chills in his bones as walls scribbled dark meet his view.

Guilt written with trembling, disturbed, hands scratched on the walls; countless different renditions of “I am sorry” haunting the room, he’s almost afraid to shine a light, but curiosity has him doing just so. Leaning in more to look at the pictures on the bed and realizing, with horrified certainty, that the face repeated on every picture is the same he’s been looking at these past weeks. Different places, stages of life, ones where he is taking the picture himself and ones where someone is taking it for him. There's a healthy tint to his youthful skin instead of clinical white, but they’re all those same blue eyes, same strong jaw and high cheekbones, same blue hair too in the most recent-looking pictures.

What the fuck. What the fuck.

A million horrible ideas running through his head make him stumble back a few steps, like he’d run out the room any second and forget everything about the android and this fucked up place. And he might just, until his stumbling lets him see the disturbed pictures behind the other side of the bed; like the dust in the other apartment, shoved out of it’s deranged, but meticulous, order by something dragged heavily out of— the wall?

His hands fumble with the pictures still blanketing the floor, shoving them this way and that until the dimmest of lights shines through the line where the wall meets the floor; he scratches and nudges at the edge with gloved hands until it catches on and more of that light cracks into the room.

Inside is a mess of equipment, screens and computers crashed on the floor, metallic scratches on furniture toppled over by something with enough strength, or weight, to put clear dents on them too. It’s a violent scene only highlighted by crusted black marks smeared on the floor and dragged all the way to the hidden panel door behind him.

He feels guilty when his brain sighs a calming: ‘at least there’s no body’.

Ichigo spends a ridiculous amount of time shuffling through broken pieces of metal, attempting to find what little salvageable from the computers’ hard drives, if at all; checking every corner for anything worth something.

There’s not that much hope in his scavenging, nothing stands out to him between all the broken pieces except that there’s nothing near close to what he pulled out of Grimmjow. Not the organ looking pieces of machinery, not the the gut-like cabling or the meat-gel… he’s missing something.

Oh, this man was clever. He clearly wasn’t always deranged and guilt-ridden, he didn’t build Grimmjow at the same time as he was praying to the walls for forgiveness; that came later. The man that worked on Grimmjow’s composition chose too this location and built this hidden laboratory by himself. That man is probably still hiding things. Things that whatever thugs dragged his lifeless body and his creation out of here definitely didn’t find and trash as the rest of these useless piles of junk.

Ichigo turns to the nearest empty wall and begins patting all about the panels of it, pressing and scratching at the seams like he did on the door; pushes an empty rack that’s standing on his way and continues to search the walls. He probably looks insane, and, honestly, for once he’s not worried he’s gone mad; he hasn’t felt this alive in years.

With a satisfactory click, a panel in the wall finally gives, and from the narrow door pulls a quiet android body, laying flat and dead like this is a mortuary drawer.

He’s almost afraid to touch, wondering if this thing will be just as alive as Grimmjow is. Except… the face is all wrong, flat and robotic. nothing like Grimmjow’s tender sculpting; this is but a test. Perhaps Grimmjow was too, but this one does not compare in the slightest; the body is similar, but when he eventually pokes at it he finds himself calming down at he discovery that there’s no power core at all. The mechanical heart missing under the metal ribcage.

It does, however, have all the other parts Grimmjow needs… he’s going to feel a little dirty about performing android grave-robbery, but he’d be a fool to not at least bag as many of its internal components as he can. He’ll figure out how to bring back the heavy replacement limbs another day.

Next~

#Android AU #ichigo kurosaki #grimmjow jaegerjaquez #Android!Grimmjow #ichigrimm #一グリ #robot gore

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lexirosewrites · 7 days

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Oh, well, since you proposed it~

So. Slick Sunday.

One idea that's always bothered me about abo is when they say things like "he smelled like —insert baked good of some sort—" and my brain immediately latches onto that like.

Have people always smelled like elaborate food? Did the innate scents evolve as humans discovered cooking? Or did people invent cooking/perfumery just so they could re-create the scent of a beloved?

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts about it!!!

I wrote out a whole thing and tumblr deleted it so now I’m fucking sad. Let’s try again from memory I guess😭

I think the comparison of scents to food is probably more coincidental than intentional. Common undertones in spices and natural scents just happens and they’re the best approximation for descriptions.

Perfumery and cologne, however!! Teen girls walking around smelling like Princess Di in an effort to win their own alpha prince or princess? More likely than you might think.

When rich alphas and omegas come of age, they go to a professional scenter to have their scents officially documented for family records as well as helping them find the best neutralizer for their scents. It can’t be one size fits all, right?

This also leads to a data breach at some point and celebrities have their scents leaked to the public for replication. They typically wear neutralizers in public to avoid this, so it’s utter chaos and lawsuits galore!

Now for the… sadder side of things. Your alpha mate is overseas for an extended period of time and you use a replicated spray for when his highly cuddled shirt stops smelling like him. When your nest stops smelling like love and starts smelling empty and sad... It helps comfort mates in times of need, especially more vulnerable omegas.

When it comes to small pups, they might need synthetic sprays for separation from their parents, if they’re orphaned, or need artificial comfort for additional help during crisis.

Even a couple going through a breakup might use replica perfumes of each others scent to lessen rejection sickness. They slowly taper off the scent over time instead of going cold turkey. Maybe they can’t quite bring themselves to ever throw the bottle away afterwards, in hopes that they’ll get together again in the future…

The possibilities are endless!!

#slick Sunday #omegaverse #a/b/o #scenting #my asks

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archivalofsins · 3 months

Text

So, I'm filling out my mail in ballot and like... Lately I've been getting hit with the cultural differences between myself and others.

So, I'd like to talk about how that may impact how I view Milgram.

It's no secret that I'm African American. Yet, there's a great deal of people that will have assumptions on what that means, how it looks, what I must be into outside of Milgram etc. These things as we've come to know quite well through Milgram, are biases.

As we've discussed before biases aren't inherently bad. Biases in and off themselves are ideas we pick up about society based on our personal experiences. They're like a quick cheat sheet that no one can help but make in their head.

For example- Since I said I was African American. One could assume things about my,

Skin tone

Education

Social Status

Simply based on that knowledge alone. One could assume that I'm dark skinned. An assumption that a good deal of people make when that term is used despite the various skin tones throughout the African American community.

If I were to then respond to that assumption with,

"Actually I'm light skinned." (This is a fact and a example.)

Another assumption would come into play.

"Oh what are you mixed with?"

This would lead to two answers. Nothing, literally everyone in my family is black. Or, "Wow; can you take an educated guess? I did just say I'm African American is there any historical context you could possibly gleam without asking me why my skin tone is what it is. Anything, is there anything coming to mind that may explain? Might rhyme with armory. Might involve a word that sounds like shave?"

Nope damn...the answers still nothing just African American or well if we discuss the history of slavery real quick we get this very complicated non-answer of too many things to count. Including white and Native American. Yet if you ask my dad what they put on his papers when he fought in the war they put negro. Because those other two things matter relatively less than the whole black thing.

So, most of my family history is black and I was raised in the black community. Didn't really stop me from getting that question a lot growing up. Mostly from people within said community. These are the sort of biases I believe are pretty common in most cultures. People will judge others based on how they look and assume things about their background.

This is highlighted in Milgram through Mu. It's brought up multiple times that Mu has been othered because of how she looks. Because she does not look typically Japanese, she looks foreign. She has honey-blonde hair and light grey eyes.

She mentions in a minigram that she doesn't like how rain makes her hair stick up.

People headcanoning Mu's victim as half black when France has the highest black population out of Europe wild.

X X

Hmmm, wonder why that headcanon hasn't been put on her ahn who knows.

Basically, noting that humidity and water makes her hair frizzy. Probably playing a bit into the reason she doesn't portray herself as being soaked in After Pain. Because she finds this aspect of herself to be embarrassing.

This also could subtly imply that she may straighten or style her hair. Outside of that Milgram highlights how different she looks before the series even starts properly. Noting it in her character description on the website.

A beautiful prisoner with overt features that set her apart from other Japanese people. Despite her slender frame, she’s very candid, and the type to rebel against the abnormal circumstances Milgram has presented her. Due to her nature, she will be very wary of Es at first. The way she conducts herself gives a sense of her upbringing. Leading us to speculate that she was probably born into a wealthy family. Perhaps, being born into wealth is why she has such a sense of pride, bursts into tears when clashing with others, and is prone to whining.

My sorry spells must be wearing off./I am always the drama queen.

Why won’t you stop hurting me? My heart is all dried up. My sorry spells must be wearing off. But I guess some of it is my fault./ It’s not my fault. I told you I’m queen, and it will never be changed. I’ve got EVERYTHING, everything is as I wish.

And even having it called to attention in the portal timeline.

20/05/31 Mu: Hey, Mikoto-kun, aren’t you scared of this place……? You can’t think of any reason you ended up here, right……? Mikoto: Ahh, yeah. Of course, it’s not like I’m not scared at all. But just between you and me…… I still haven’t dropped the thought that this could all just be a TV show. I mean, I really haven’t ever murdered anyone. ……and if that is the case, we’re definitely being monitored. For like a prank setup or something. Wouldn’t it be super uncool and embarrassing to get angry or lash and have it shown on prime time? Mu: Is that what you think……? A prank, huh…… I hope that’s all it is…… Mikoto: Ah! If that is the case, then you’ll probably be super popular since you’re so cute, Mucchan! There’s a lot of girls out there who make their big break coming off reality shows like that!

Like the fact that Milgram lays all of this out from the beginning along with the way it follows through on it is really good. Because it isn't just building as it goes or adding pockets of tidbits of character information on as the trials progress. It's all been there and still is there rewarding people for going back and looking, if they feel like it.

Through bringing to the forefront how different Mu is from those around her Milgram subtly highlights another form of discrimination in Japan. Racism.

Then it does this really interesting thing when it comes to her core friend group in particular.

Milgram makes a point of having all of Mu's close friends be individuals who for one reason or another would not be considered to look stereotypically Japanese. Milgram manages to do this without even giving Mu's friends faces.

Even highlighting in their insect forms through giving them different hair colors from the rest.

Just like Mu herself.

Q.11 Who do you want to see right now? Mu: I miss my friends too but most of all, Papa and Mama.

In her second voice drama Mu says,

...Warden-san. I think you're really doing something bad. Isn't it a bad thing to act like there has to be something wrong with someone for them to get bullied? Oh? No matter the circumstances, it's always the bullies who are in the wrong! Isn't that obvious? Warden-san you're so smart but you didn't even know something like that? maybe you should take some lessons on morals or something. ... Besides even if I've done something wrong, there's nothing that can justify bullying. Warden-san I thought you were nicer than this.

Not one thing that can justify it not even others doing something wrong. Meanwhile Mu's first trial character voice line,

It's your fault....for doing horrible things to me...

Mu goes on to say this in response to Es asking why does she think she was bullied after that,

"How would I know? I mean I'm from a rich family, and I'm an eye-catcher too... It was probably out of some kind of envy or prejudice, right?"

Plus, Mu's stance on bullying quickly changes when it's brought to her attention that Es believes she may have been a bully before she bullied. As she states,

"Leaving behind all that stuff you said about me possibly having been a bully myself- not that any of that's true of course!"

Sorry it was an easy shot.

Can you believe she said this right before this mv came out? Wild. Prisoners stay lying in their voice dramas. Never incriminate yourselves, always lie to authority figures. Double down on the lies if you need to. No one owes honesty to individuals or systems putting them in terrible predicaments.

Lie like you and honesty had a falling out. Lie like being honest betrayed you worse than it did Kazui. Keep lying. Honesty sorry that's a luxury I can't afford right now. I'm in my lying arc trust me at your own expense.

Be Mikoto trial two and gaslight the audience into believing that everything Milgram uncovered was actually a dream trial three. It will work better than you think Mu.

Like naw be more dishonest actually. The realest thing all the prisoners have ever done was just blatantly lie and not back down from said lies. They're all like fucking prove it go on prove it! What do you have mystical songs where I go I did that shit and I'll do it again?! That's not substantial enough evidence.

That could have been an over-exaggeration done to better highlight my artistic vision- Fuck you and your song extractor bring in some actual proof or piss off. This machine was provided by your facility how do you know it's providing accurate unbiased information. The facility had already deemed us guilty of something on incarceration this isn't fair or trustworthy.

Meanwhile if they're innocent what a great and interesting machine you have here.

Sure. So, if I'd gotten payback for how my bullies treated me then that'd count as revenge right? And if you believe that was my only option then don't you have to forgive me? ...Uh...I'm not really sure what you're trying to say? You see~ If you think that me bullying someone back after being bullied is the natural course of action, then wouldn't it be bad to bully me back in return? ... "But if you were like. "I won't forgive you Mu revenge is bad!" Then wouldn't that imply that it's also bad for me to bully someone back after they bullied me?" I think I'm kinda...starting to get your point...maybe. Warden-san are you maybe not all that smart after all?

Since the way Mu talks is rather quick and confusing purposely Es has difficulties understanding what she's saying. Despite the fact that she is just reiterating that since she's already been forgiven it would be best if Es kept to that verdict. Because Es has already set the precedent that killing out of revenge or in response to a slight is forgivable. Changing her verdict now won't change that precedent.

Meaning Mu has every intention to bully someone for bullying her again if necessary because Es has stated that the appropriate response to being picked on is picking on that person back. In a way Mu is saying that's what trial one cemented that treating people who have caused direct harm to your or others is completely okay actually.

So, it's best not to start problems for others others at all. So, if Es wants to change their verdict and pick on Mu now that would be no different than what happened to her.

This isn't even a veiled threat. Because she's just saying since you've realized that bullying is the appropriate response to bullying then you shouldn't pick on me because the obvious response would be me picking on you and you don't want that right? Or,

"If you want to betray from jealousy. I’ve told you what’s gonna happen."

The thing is the way I view Mu's story is subjectively changed based on my experiences as and African-American.

When I view her story I don't see the simple one of bullying. I see a story about prejudice and the othering of mixed and biracial individuals in Japan. How the mistreatment these individuals face when younger can lead to them bullying others later in life.

The fact that kids like that are often exposed to discriminatory treatment from a young age by peers and adults due to their overt physical differences. Something that can lead to a great deal of bitterness and self-loathing. Even internalized othering.

Q.08 Which of the other prisoners is most like you? Mu: I don’t think there’s anyone? They’re all weirdos.

This can be done to make oneself feel less than others or to cope and convince oneself that they are more special than those around them and everyone is just jealous actually. Mu falls into the later category. However, the later category is commonly used in response to discrimination of some sort.

Because it's easier and healthier to respond to others making fun of ones immutable traits such as physical characteristics by going they're just jealous. The other option is attempting to changing how you look entirely which for a lot of people won't work anyway. From that angle it's no suprise that in high school Mu would start doing something that may just have been done to her for much longer by girls who probably resembled those who picked on her a great deal or were people who used to pick on her.

Q.02 What scares you most? Mu: Painful things, scary things. Also embarrassing things. Q.07 What is your favourite place? Mu: Mama’s hometown of Nice. The sea there is beautiful.

As someone who grew up in the states a pretty diverse country. Well Mu saying things like her favorite place is her mothers hometown has a different ring to it. Because in Nice the way Mu looks wouldn't be considered odd or draw attention. Whereas in the place she grew up she can easily tell that the way she looks gets her both positive and negative attention.

I've said this before and I'll say it again the fact that Mu stands out due to her mixed ethnicity is just as a part of her story as being a bully is. The fact that she surrounds herself with people who are similar to her (seemingly mixed as well).

Well it really puts this spin on her story. Not just making it as simple as bullying it but turning it into this story of long term accepted bullying and what that cycle can lead to. If Mu was bullied and treated as different because of her looks and families wealth at a young age. Then she gets into this high school with other people with those experiences. It wouldn't be farfetched for her to want to use the opportunity to get revenge on the people who treated her poorly before and take advantage of the system that allowed it.

In order to lessen the impact of the idea of her being a bully which she denies as ever being true she states it would be fine for her to be one under Milgram's logic if it was in response to being bullied in the first place. That it's fine as long as it's revenge. A mindset many victims of bullying who become bullies later have. That it's fine to do because no one said it was wrong when it was happening to them. It's okay if they do it because if they do then it can't happen to them.

This especially puts an interesting spin on her first cover song and trial song.

Especially these lines,

Otome Dissection

There's been a lot of analysis of this song for a long while. For now, I want to analyze it from the angle of the singer dissecting themselves. An angle that the song has been taken from before. Given the visuals in the mv near the end.

The more overt ones.

Along with when the signer is shown pretending to call someone and closing their own body bag.

All after the line "Let's see if our climax had been a let down. Ever since that night."

Now if we phrase Otome Dissection as the singer singing to themselves that would make it more interesting in the context of Mu's case and the way it can relate to ethnicity. Because I think Otome Disssection manages to perfectly encapsulate the feeling of self-loathing, dejection, and hopelessness that being a minority can make a person.

The song highlighting how the singer has found something that makes them feel good as long as it hurts. Something that's validating and invalidating all at once. A way a lot of people feel about exploring or expressing their culture/ethnicity in a place where it's marginalized or stereotyped in some way. The feeling can be just as isolating as it is liberating simply because at times even when people want to do this there's not much community around them locally.

Plus, taking an interest in it won't make discrimination stop. At the end of the day people are still going to put you on a pedestal or hate you because of how you look. Though it can still be fulfilling. Also highlighting how one will dissect themselves, cutting themselves down to be more acceptable in an environment that didn't want to accept them to begin with. Again, going back to how it only feels good when it hurts.

They only get acceptances when they're burying parts of themselves. Yet, still desiring to be loved for everything they are the good and the bad and trying to convince themselves that they love who they are despite everything around them making it feel as though it'd be better,

If I had just disappeared.

All that self-loathing and disdain turns into boisterous self-confidence. Because it's feels like the only way that person can survive. Yet they still need this constant outwards validation because they don't know if they're allowed to be here. Even though they feel like they should be it doesn't feel like they are.

I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe? Tell me./I wanna feel shame, ever since the night when I realized it's good as long as it hurts.

Yet no amount of validation is enough because the person can't validate themselves. They're always going to be afraid of being found out then hated or the other person finding someone else.

Hey, what if If I am a bad girl- Don’t hate me./I actually had a dream you fell in love with someone else. Please tell me it's not true. Come on love me please?

A problem many people who have faced racial discrimination in their environments have is believing that others can like them. Because sometimes from birth all those people are given are reasons why others wouldn't. A list of things that make them odd or different from their peers. So, it's easy to understand why it would be difficult to believe.

After Pain

"I don’t want tomorrow to come. I want to forget yesterday I was miserable, someone please help me."

"If it’s endurance, I’m used to it. It’s just having another taste of it."

When it comes to Futa we see him become the victim of what he dished out after in Bring It On. Lamenting if both sides are losers in Backdraft. Yet, Mu tries her best to hide all the things that hurt and embarrass her. The source of her pain.

Because she doesn't want people to look at it. She doesn't want to replay it. Just like her second cover song further highlights along with her second trial mv.

She even states in the second written interrogation,

Q.01 What were you like as a child? Mu: I think I was pretty normal. I had a lot of friends, and learned a lot.

Yet she also states that she gets walked up to by modelling scouts on the streets because of her looks.

Q.15 What’s your dream for the future? Mu: A model, maybe. I’ve been turning down scouts while I’m still in high school though.

Definitely sounds easy to have a normal childhood with stuff like that occurring.

It's easy to write off Mu as not going through that much and just being a spoiled brat and a bully. However, I feel like that would be ignoring some very compelling parts of her character. Plus, she's not the only prisoners for Milgram to allude to dealing with forms of discrimination.

Plus, it is kind of strange that she would jump from having her friends bully people for her to murder. Like that isn't a very natural progression. Now she could be lying about not doing any of that stuff herself like dumping water on people or beating them up. However the only time we see her actually harassing a student is when they appear to be shaking them down and none of that stuff is occurring.

Then she's only alluded to being around in After Pain after her friends do that stuff. So, I genuinely doubt she was being dishonest about that. None of these feelings on Mu I stated here are new. I always appreciated how her story subtly deals with the ethnicity. I like how it shows a victim of bullying become a bully.

I like that it highlights how cycles of harassment begin. I love how Mu's first inclination is to frame herself as a victim of bullying in this situation because on some level she really thinks this is revenge for all the mean things others may have done to her. I also like that she's unapologetic about it. Plus my own complicated relationship with stuff like that makes me sympathetic to her a bit.

Even still it's Mu we're talking about she's not one to be knocked down and stay down. That's simply just another aspect to look at her under and it's one of the ones I find the most interesting given how I grew up.

I feel like that may just be one of the many things that may go overlooked based on how one grew up. Even though Milgram highlights it in a lot of ways.

Another one that may go over some's head is poverty in general given the cases of Amane and Mikoto. Like people not really understanding why he's so focused on his job or why Amane's family lives where they live etc. It's just interesting how Milgram tries to represent varying demographics. Like there's a plethora of other examples but I've gone over them before.

At least I find it interesting.

#gunsli rambles

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