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tamersa · 3 months

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The shitiest translation of a book (known to me) aka why Polish translation of Good Omens sucks hard

Let me take you on an adventure! Sadly it won’t be one during a nice and sunny day with happiness and laughter but rather a dreadful and containing mad giggles. What is that adventure you may ask? Why it’s an official Polish translation of Good Omens! Look at the photos below:

See all the plastic markers? Those are the mistakes I found in the book. But let me tell you. Those are not all of them! Just the major ones or ones that offends me the most.

You may ask: why did I use up most of my free time for over 2 months to do this?

Many years ago when I read the book for the first time I felt slightly disappointed. The book wasn’t as good as I thought it would be. It was weird, because I really liked T. Pratchett books from Disc World series. Maybe because there was other author? Or maybe the whole concept how the world was built? At that time I couldn’t even know that I would quite like the book in the future, and it wasn’t my younger mind fault that it was so confused. But the translation. Years later after watching the series I was wondering, why the book felt a bit off to me. And then my friend opened the book at a random, it was page no. 382, and found a mistake there. I thought it would be fun to compare both the original and the official translation. Oh what ‘fun’ it was.

THE HISTORY

First few facts to settle it in the time line.

The book was first published in 1990. T. Pratchett was 42 then, and N. Gaiman - 30. They co-wrote modern book settled in more or less the same time as it was published. It is important information to take here, because it might explain some of the terrible translation errors.

Polish version was first distributed in 1992. It had 2 translators Jacek Gałązka and Juliusz Witold Garztecki. It’s hard to tell more about the first one, but the other was 70 when he translated the book. Yes 70! And in his biography you can read, he was mostly rewarded for his books about army thins. My point is, while I don’t know much about this person I don’t think he was the right one for translating a book such as Good Omens. Maybe I’m biased, but just because there are some army men and some war themes in the book doesn’t mean it has the right vibes.

But let’s dive into the errors and just wrong stuff I found by getting Polish book, English version paperback and pdf version for faster search of phrases.

There are 2 major types of errors:

“Editors” (errors that are not based off wrong translation per se, just lazy editing and some weird choices of the redaction).

Prologue and 2 part switched – the book should start with Eden scene not the character names introduction. Yeah in many old fashioned books it was other way around but this is author decision! You shouldn’t switch it because it looks better for you that way!

- Chapters with numbers that not correspond with the parts in the book – yep in PL version chapters have numbers. What for? I don’t know, because there isn’t any table of content. And some chapter begin randomly not like bigger parts of the book.

- Lack of days of the week – It is important for the flow of the book yet we can’t read it like in the original at the begging of some pages 130- Lack of the dividing signs between paragraphs – sometimes there aren’t any. Because why to bother.

Lack of starting dialogue in a new line – there were few cases where someone didn’t drop a new line for dialogue and I was so confused who said what.

Lack of dialogue lines – in few places whole dialogue lines are missed

Interpunction mistakes, fast speaking with the comas not the dots – so pacing, that changes the flow of the book

Splitting text in general was terrible.

The capital letters, cursive and normal dialogue – in this book it is important what kind of font property we use – normal dialogue is different than Death speaking or Aziraphale talking in different bodies. But in this translation it is messed up. The angel speaks with capital letters like Death. That so not cool for me… and take those small pleasures reading the book.

You can also see PL version of the book has distinct change of tone in the middle. Why? Because you can tell almost exactly when the other translator started to work. And well, I think they didn’t communicate (don’t know the reason) because same stuff ,same words, even same names aren’t corresponding! You will see it later in the text.

story errors:

The first translator: looks like bitter man, who wants to correct the writers, adding 234532 not needed words, have sexist wording, and sometimes archaic speech. Makes one good joke and his translation of Agnes speech is nice. Maybe because he is closer to her times than to the times the book was written.

The major mistakes: too many words even for Polish version; Polish words are generally longer than English ones and sometimes you need to add words to have the same context. But this man goes so far with it is ridiculous. He takes 2 lines of good, easy translatable text that in PL would make max 3 lines and makes it to 5 lines. Why to add unneeded stuff?

Weird figures of speech that are not funny - those are really strong point in the Disc world book and in the original Good omens too. But the translation butchered those, drowning the wit and throwing random, sometimes even archaic, lines.

Crowley name – context mistake – Crowley name was Crawly first, the demon changed it later. Not in PL ver. Form the first line he was always Crowley.

Changing the text so context is changed too: like making an island form the a mountain, or changing a word that we don’t know if it’s a flame because the description is so vague. Or sometimes it is just translated wrong in general, changing the meaning.

Archaic words – like I’ve said it was modern book in the 90’. It wasn’t written in the 60’. Also new version of the book could be upgraded. Like in the 90 word ‘weekend’ wasn’t popular in Poland but now it is. So why do we have Saturday-Sunday and not just weekend…

The vulgarisms: bit too hardcore for a book that was co-made by terry Pratchett. Real Polish language has best vulgarisms and I love them but this book is not the place for most of them. Also because when they are there we could feel the impact. But you know what? Azz didn’t say his ‘Fuck’ line in PL version when being called back to heaven if page before it in translation he swears quite badly ( which also changes context…) Yep no “Fuck”… why the translator didn’t write “noż kurw…” or something? I don’t know…

Added words like “black Bentley”. In the original that phrase was used once or twice not like 10 times. The reader remember this car is black I can assure you…

Added whole sentences: sometimes the translator adds whole sentence without a reason. It is not his book… really…

Billion in Polish is not billion or million it is MILIARD – yep, those people are not great with numbers.

Lack of sentences: too many lines before? Let’s cut some of them out… I don’t know why but such a thing happens here too. Example is the Crowley pen scene.

Context mistake with the Bentley bullet holes – one of most confusing paragraph in PL version. I didn’t know what the hell (or heaven) is going on. So I read the original and everything made sense. Crowley put new window glass with holes. It was that easy. In PL version it sounds somewhat different.

Mr. and ‘Pan’ – mister in Polish is ‘Pan’, but somehow the book uses the Mr. shortening and sometimes Pan. Why not Pan all the time? Why to use Mister word in Polish version?

Spanish Inquisition – this scene is so butchered I just can’t… in Pl version it sounds like someone told him it was fun not that the hell congratulated Crowley for the inquisition

Lack of consequent translation: Asmodeusz I Wormwood – names: this is same name in English version. Also sister Mary’s surname once is translated and later is used as it was in the original (in my opinion it should be translated so the reader would understand it better)

Kraken!! – do you know that first translator didn’t knew that Kraken is a name of underwater past and thought it is some kind of light vulgarism? I couldn’t make that up myself…

Ineffable – this word is translated on many occasion in a different way, sometimes changing the meaning like Az said it is ineffable and in PL version is “Azz couldn’t find a way to explain this” really. Only later in the book the word is translated better. And as it is a running joke in the book it should be translated consistently in my opinion.

No food joke with deviled eggs and angel cake. And it was completely spoiled. The translator either didn’t know what deviled eggs are or thought it is overcooked food and made Aziraphale not like it. Even after one drink I thought out how to make food pun and not spoil the part…

Fell’s name – I like the small pun that Az took last letters of his name to make a fake family name, however in Polish version translator didn’t see the joke and put there some weird ass cringe pseudonym.

And of course homophobia…– and not one that Az look like a stereotypical homosexual man no… also the “southern pansy’ is translated each time differently and at least once so much more vulgar and offensive.

Killing the joke about healing the bike – I love this joke. It is silly and light but in PL version Crowley says it like it was some offense.

Snowballs in hell – Polish has equivalent idiom “hell freezes over” but translator somehow didn’t use it and instead wrote “there are no chances for it in hell”… the meaning is lost

Being mean – translator makes some characters mean without reason

What is a bully? The translator apparently didn’t know and messed up by saying it’s same as a loser

Recycling paper is same as recycling toilet paper for the translator – disgusting

Famine – the 6 letter word. In PL translate as “głód”. So a 4 letter word. Yet the character wrote his name in 6 letter in PL version…

Pepper reads erotic magazine for teens in PL version, not some stuff like Bravo… really? Pepper is 11.. she reads about boybands and shit…. Really…

Racism - the joke about men’s underwear (when Newt answered the phone) was changed to literally “painting Chinese people white”….

Shadwell - and his hate of southern people was changed to him hating English people… why? Also his “southern pansy” saying, is translated as “ English fag” but also “funny guy”… yeah

Pollution - powietrze morowe and skażenie – one translator gave Pollution a super weird name, the other one gave a proper one. That means book holds 2 names and people will be confused reading the second ‘chapter’ and later parts of the book.

Second translator was bit better. He didn’t add so much from himself and didn’t make as much mean comments and mistranslated. His errors are mostly literal translation of the words. That means whole sentences and even paragraphs sounds at least weird but in the long run, some doesn’t have much sense at all and sounds AI generated. But it was written in then 90. Well I don’t have the 90 copy but the translators are the same on both covers so I think it is a very sloppy translation, or one was a complete amateur.

Also the translator doesn’t understand the difference between chips and crisps. I don’t know why he thinks kids eats fries and not thin potato snacks all the time.

I really can’t write how the translation of the second part of the book is stiff and not flow enough. Look at this:

read the yellow part… it sounds so off..

Sometimes the translator is too lazy to find a word in Polish so he uses an English one and then puts description bellow…. Why do that when there are Polish words for it?

Also why are most numbers written with letters and not numbers? Maybe it is normal to do so but for me reading the name of a number is more confusing than just seeing the number ( like writing five hundred and not just 500)

Also they had to explain what sushi is :D now really in 2019 the this book was re-release most people know what sushi is. Besides, even that description is wrong…

There are also places when you could use Polish names for stuff or people. Like the painters to describe Tadfield. Most Polish people don’t know ones in the original book. But when you use famous Polish painters the parallel/joke would be better.

The translator doesn’t know or remember proper Polish idioms like kopnąć w kalendarz (kick the calendar - in English it would be “kick the bucket”) means to die, using weird ‘punch the calendar’ why?

Again sometimes when there are citations from the song one translator keeps the original, while the other one translates it. It’s confusing but in the end the reader should know what the words means.

Translator doesn’t know that sometimes you can’t turn back(?) on the road and for sure doesn’t know how to translate it.

Second translator sometimes also used the language calque and not proper words.

The first translator wrote too much. This one cuts sentences sometimes.

And why is there explanation what Beelzebub name means?

Ending – where is forever? – ending of the book has a warm and slightly philosophical ending. With word ‘forever’ as the last word. I don’t know why Polish ‘na zawsze’ wasn’t written there? it really takes away from the ending…

There are hundreds of small and big mistakes really… ( movie clip if I can)

To sum it up: someone had bright idea to give a modern book to 2 older men to translate, when they weren’t really good with translation, or vibes etc. The book has been butchered ant that’s super sad. It could make potential reader to not like it even if they read the original it would be fine.

I wish the publisher would hire someone re-translate it in or give it to another publisher.

I’m not someone with a degree in English language but when someone like me can ‘catch’ all the mistakes and errors, I wonder what professional would say. Good for me I can read in English enough to enjoy the original, for all the others: better watch the series.

#good omens #good omens book #Dobry omen książka #Translation #Polish translation #Neil Gaiman

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why-do-we-do-this · 3 months

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After several days of slowly translating, here's my version of Cellbit's pdf, translated into English.

I've included a brief summary under the cut for anyone who might not want to read the whole thing or who are wary of the warnings.

This was my personal method of processing, and I encourage all of you to do what you need to do so as well, whether that be stepping off of the internet and letting the moss reclaim you for a while, drawing, crying it out, comprehending the beautiful insignificance of existence for as long as you need to, or talking this situation through with somebody else.

tws for:

sexual assault, aphobia, suicidal ideation, manipulation, victim blaming

Chronological Event Summary

At age 9 Cellbit had an awkward and very violating encounter with a neighbor girl who was older than him which left him traumatized. He questioned his sexuality as he was growing up, and thought things would make sense once he actually lost his virginity, which he did to his first girlfriend at age 18. Since then, he's been sure of his asexuality. However, this girlfriend was aphobic and constantly pressured him into having sex with her or urging him to seek medical help for his lack of interest in sex. She would embarrass him in front of his friends, gaslit him into thinking that no one else would ever accept him for who he is, was physically violent towards him, and cheated on him. Once he was finally able to pull away from her, she started making incessant posts about Cellbit being abusive, mean, and jealous, which caused backlash against Cellbit and his content, and she even used his depressive period and suicide attempt as reason to incite hate against him. Cellbit remained in silence in response to this, fearing what might happen if he tried to fight back, but, with the recent new allegation that this ex made accusing him of sexually assaulting her, Cellbit had enough and broke his silence with this document. He's said that he doesn't want this to affect him and his loved ones any longer, and he doesn't want to speak about all of this any more than he already had to.

Cellbit's pdf

MY RESPONSE, 7 YEARS LATER

7 years ago I was in a relationship with a person who lied compulsively, cheated on me, tricked me and has tried to ruin my life up until the present, though I've always tried to stay silent.

This week, she accused me of sexual assault.

This is a complete lie.

It's time to finally tell everything that I have lived through.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 22nd May, 2018]

(ex-girlfriend) "There's no normal way to ask this / I'm just curious / but are you actually asexual? / or something?"

(Cellbit) "as in, not enjoying sex? / I am"

This relationship began in 2015. I had just turned 18 and she was 20. 9 years ago. I broke up with her in 2017, two years later.

After we broke up I never responded to any of the allegations that she publicly made against me. I didn't want my followers going on a witch hunt, and even less to expose a personal relationship which used to bring me so much pain.

The only statement that I made was related to me doing therapy, I never mentioned her name and never spoke about anything that she did to me. I NEVER attacked her nor encouraged any kind of hate towards her during all of these years.

And, despite her always claiming that "she doesn't want to revive that subject", she is literally the only one who keeps talking about it, inventing and distorting more things every time, even 7 years later. And I have always maintained my quiet, always held on to my silence. But this week, she has made the worst accusation so far, and there is no more silence to hold on to.

This is a document directly relaying all the facts of what I lived, with any evidence that I could get in order to confirm things. This is not me asking for forgiveness. I am not here to try to convince anyone that doesn't like me to change their opinion.

I've learned after all these years that in this situation I always am going to be seen as the one at fault. It doesn't matter what I say. Any kind of defense or argument is going to always be accused of "silencing" her.

And, if I keep quiet, like I did for all of these years, that would be interpreted as me "keeping quiet because it confirms the truth". And she'll continue accusing me of more and more absurd things.

So then, like I said, this is not an apology, it's clarification. A report detailing everything that happened, point by point, about all of the events that were "exposed" by my ex-girlfriend. And from there, you all can draw your own conclusions.

I know that even after everything that I write here, many people are still going to refuse to consider the other side of things. There is an image that has been constructed of me, where I am a psychotic monster, which is difficult to erase. But this document isn't for the people who believe in that. This clarification is for those who have always been willing to understand.

I just want people to finally hear my story and take away what they will from it. I am no longer going to let this destroy the lives of the people that I love in the same way that it destroyed mine.

ASEXUALITY AND THE SEXUAL ASSULT ACCUSATION

I am going to begin by directly responding to the accusation that is making me publish this report after all of these years of silence. I have never been accused of something as absurd as this, and I am completely certain that I can PROVE that it is IMPOSSIBLE that this claim is real.

After years accusing me of countless things, for the first time my ex-girlfriend has decided to accuse me of an unforgivable crime. She posted a tweet that mentions me by name, implying that I sexually violated her.

Without any proof, after years of making one exposure after another, trying to destroy my image and my life, she's finally decided to call on a lie about the worst thing that she can:

[A tweet from a fan and a reply from the ex-girlfriend]

(Fan) "I'm never going to forget the details she gave about how insane it was to give pussy to Cellbit because his dick was thick"

(Ex-girlfriend) "I really want you guys to stop reviving the sexual assault that I sufferered without having any understanding of things, as if it's funny. Unfortunately, I thought it was normal to feel pain and suffer a shitload of pressure to feed into his self-esteem publicly, and so I said shit that I thought would please him. You all should be embarrassed, bunch of assholes."

I am asexual.

All of my personal friends have known for many years that I am asexual, and I had mentioned it before in some different places publically. My sexuality was never a subject that I spoke much about, but was also never something that I tried to hide.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and an unnamed individual, dated 27th July, 2020.]

(Cellbit) "[Fans on YouTube] made a compilation of all the times I've shown being asexual on the internet"

(unnamed) "afkahfkhfks amazing / people are talking about that / you're fine with it?"

(Cellbit) "It doesn't matter to me, I won't have to suffer prejudice for it if I don't reveal it directly / despite wanting to eventually, only for those who are able to comfortably accept it as is"

(unnamed) "I understand / If one day you want to, you should speak about it. I think that it's more of a positive thing than a negative tbh lmao"

To be brief, this doesn't mean that I cannot have sex, but I simply don't have interest or desire to.

[An image of a youtube video thumbnail and title. The thumbnail is of Cellbit with a quote that says "I don't like to have sex," the title is "Cellbit, are enigmas better than sex?" the video is dated to four years ago. A link to this is included in the original document]

I've always been like this, ever since I was a child. And, despite being interested romantically in people and falling in love normally, I do not feel the desire to have sexual relations of any kind.

I always grew up feeling that there was something different about me in contrast to other people. I questioned my sexuality a lot, not understanding if I was gay or if there was something physically wrong with me, and I thought that maybe I would understand everything once I lost my virginity. This happened with my ex-girlfriend, and ever since that first time I had sex, I knew that this was really just the way I am. I began researching, reading about asexuality on the internet and talking with a psychologist about it.

Despite this, I can have and have had sexual relationships in my life. I just don't feel any desire or physical need to have sex.

Including, actually, that I have a healthy sex life with my current girlfriend.

My ex-girlfriend is now accusing me of sexual assault. We had sexual relations consistently, always when she wanted, it was always her who initiated, and she always told me that there was something wrong with me. It was a topic that she repeatedly brought up to humiliate me around friends, as well. Sometimes as little jokes, but other times in much more exposing ways. On one occasion, for example, we went out with some friends and she asked for one of them to give me a "lesson on sex" so that I "do things more enthusiastically."

She also constantly would tell me that I should go to be examined and get medical treatment to try and "fix" me. All of the sexual relations that I had with her went until she felt satisfied, and then she would tell me to finish up alone.

I talked with her numerous times about being asexual when we were together. I mentioned that I'd spoken about it in therapy and that I was reading more about it in online communities. She didn't believe that it was possible, and insisted that I had something wrong with me.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 22nd May, 2018. This is a repeat image of one that appears earlier in the document]

(ex-girlfriend) "There isn't a normal way to ask about this / I'm just curious / are you actually asexual? / or something?"

(Cellbit) "As in, not enjoying sex? / I am"

Even after we ended our relationship, when we spoke again in 2018, she still invalidated my sexuality.

I lost count of how many times she made me feel obligated to have sex with her, even when I clearly didn't want to, just so that she would feel satisfied, because of the fear that if I didn't do it, she would cheat on me.

Even knowing that it was a matter I didn't want disclosed, she still spoke publicly about our sex life just to make me feel more pressured to "go and see what's wrong with me sooner."

[A screenshot of a video with the thumbnail most of the way cut out, titled "Cellbit's girlfriend talking about his dick", dated 6 years ago. A link to this is included in the original document]

I couldn't understand exactly why she decided to lie about something that she knew I would never have had the capacity to do.

THE ABUSE THAT I SUFFERED

In addition to all of that, I had been sexually abused when I was 9 years old by my neighbor when I lived inland in the countryside, and she knew about this. This is a story that I avoided speaking about the most that I could, I never had the courage to even tell this to my mother, and my ex KNEW that I NEVER wanted to disclose this to the whole internet, no matter what happened. It was something that left me with massive trauma that is still very difficult to talk about.

Very few people in my social circle know about this, because it's something that pains me greatly to remember. In 2019, I also told part of the story to some mods and people in my off-stream chat community that I trusted.

[A series of chat history messages from Cellbit, dated to 19th May, 2019.]

"The older person wasn't a man / ...... / The story starts in the chicken coop / when I, my neighbor [redacted], who was the same age as me, and his older sister were playing wedding / I was the groom, she was the bride, and [redacted] was the minister / Their parents had left the house and it was just us three in the chicken coop of the abandoned train station house / After the ceremony, we didn't kiss, but me and the girl went into their parent's bedroom to have a "honeymoon" / but, I was only 9 years old and didn't know what sex was / I just knew that people got naked on a bed / so [redacted] stayed outside of the room, and me and his sister got naked on the bed, rubbing against eachother pretending that we were having sex. I thought that that was actually real sex and was mortified, she was a lot older and I didn't know why she was doing that"

And now, YEARS AFTER living that hell, being humiliated different times by her, questioning my own sexuality, feeling used, she makes a post implying that I committed the worst and most disgusting crime that exists. A crime that I suffered through.

A person that she KNOWS would never be able to commit that. But she feels free to accuse me because until today I have always kept silent.

Accusing me of something that was literally never mentioned by her before, suddenly, on the week that I am going to participate in an international award ceremony. It's something that comes up in a new story that she deletes soon after giving people just enough time to take a screenshot, like she always does.

She always alleged that we had a toxic relationship, but now, in 2024, she accuses me of sexual assault, without any kind of proof, and never having spoken about that before in all these years.

Even after 7 years, she continues controlling my life, forcing me to publicly humiliate myself and talk about the most intimate side of my life, making me expose my sexuality and the fact that I was abused when I was a kid, just to be able to prove that I would never do something as terrible as that.

For me, this is the limit.

I have always had empathy and concern for her, and she never stopped. I just want to live my life in peace.

THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND THE OTHER ACCUSATIONS

I met my ex-girlfriend in 2015, at an event called XMA 2015. I had a panel to talk with some followers and take some photos after. During these events, all of the guests stayed separated in some rooms where we could talk. There, I met her for the first time and we very quickly began to flirt with eachother.

[An article heading titled "XMA Mega Arena 2015: Event assembling champions and stars of e-sports" the subtitle reads "Fans of the main e-sports titles are able to watch the championships of the major Brazilian gaming teams," dated to the 1st of May, 2015]

[A video thumbnail titled "XMA - day 1," dated to 8 years ago. It is set 6:48 into the video, a woman can be seen on camera from waist to chin]

My ex-girlfriend present at the event in a video:

[A link to the above described video, which is included in the original document] - Video proving that she was at the event.

[An article headline with the title "XMA Mega Arena 2015 | Youtubers are a big attraction in an e-sports event," the subtitle reads "On the first day of the event, content creators call more attention than the champions", a quote at the top of the article reads "Man, do you guys know if Cellbit is going to leave to give autographs?" dated to 1st May, 2015. A link to this is included in the original document]

An interview that I gave at the event, proving that I was there.

We chatted for around 30 minutes, I had just turned 18 and had never had a partner. She was older, 20, and had already had various boyfriends before. We got eachother's numbers on WhatsApp, and I left to do my panel. At the end of the event, we encountered eachother again and continued talking a bit more.

During that night, I went to send a message to her and noticed that her WhatsApp profile picture was a selfie of a man, not her. I thought that she had given me the wrong number, but I sent a message and in a few seconds saw her changing her avatar to a photo of her and responding to me soon after.

I asked who it was in that photo, and she said that it was a joke that she was doing pretending to be a friend. We continued flirting and exchanging messages for some time, until someone informed me that she apparently had a boyfriend.

She was dating a professional LOL player, and had gone to the XMA event as his companion. His team was participating in the championship of the event.

[A low quality image of an information page about XMA 2015, including the location and date of the event, and some teams]

The LOL championship at XMA that her boyfriend was playing in

When I asked about this, she told me that he was just a fling (he wasn't, they were dating), but that she was going to end the relationship soon because she claimed that he "was rude to her." She said that she was just waiting for the right moment to be finished with him because he "was in a championship and she was going to affect his career."

While this was happening, she asked me to travel to her city so that we could meet. It was there that, a few days later, we found ourselves in Monte Alto, a small town in the countryside where she lived, and we stayed together in an inn.

[An image of a travel ticket for Cellbit, dated to 13th May, 2015]

Fare to Monte Alto, 10 days after meeting her at the event

[A post by the ex-girlfriend, dated 28 May, 2020. A link to this is included in the original document]

"I lived in Monte Alto"

It was in this inn that she cheated on her boyfriend with me, and was then that I lost my virginity, believing that she already wasn't speaking with him anymore. As it was my first time, she was constantly complaining and making jokes about me being inexperienced.

That was the day that I started to understand that I am asexual, something that would become important later on in our relationship.

We continued our relations for a few more weeks, where she would always give excuses for the reason she had not broken up with her boyfriend yet, saying that she was almost finished, that there was just one more game of his, it was just one more weekend.

Eventually, she asked me to help her write a breakup message for her boyfriend in a skype call, and finally we could have a "real relationship." But, the damage was already done, and I just hadn't noticed yet. I still didn't have any idea what I was getting into, and she was my first girlfriend. I was in love with a person who was manipulating and lying to her previous boyfriend, while she did the same thing to me.

Some of the people in the LOL scene who had met her informed me that she used to "switch boyfriends quite frequently" and that they had heard stories about cheating before.

That whole situation left me extremely traumatized and paranoid, but this was only the beginning.

A few months passed, we dated long distance for some time, and afterwards the two of us moved to São Paulo into different apartments. She was living with her sister and studying at college, and I moved in with some friends into an apartment.

All of this initial context is important for what came later.

HER ACCUSATIONS

In the accusations that she made after we broke up, the events have always been distorted and described in an ambiguous manner, using words like "abuser" and "aggressor" in order to give the understanding that what happened may or may not have been some kind of assault.

Among other things, she said that: "I kicked her out of the house," that she "was locked in a bathroom," that I called her names and that I "threw her things away."

All of these stories are distortions of one singular event.

On the contrary from what she insinuated when she said that "I kicked her out of the house," we never lived together. She was 20 minutes away from me, though she slept at my house sometimes, because we were dating.

During our relationship, she was constantly telling stories about a specific ex-boyfriend. An abuser who did cocaine, sexually harassed her, broke into her house, threatened to kill himself to stay with her, and that she'd had to call the police on him before. She said that she had him blocked everywhere, but that he still tried to talk with her after years, and had even followed her back to her house one time.

Eventually, in a moment where we were together, she was using her phone beside me and a Facebook Messenger notification appeared on the screen. It was a message sent by this ex, who I'd heard numerous stories about being a psychotic abuser, apparently responding to a message from her. I have never in my life seen someone swipe a message off the screen as fast as she did in that moment.

That was that day I discovered it wasn't just that she hadn't blocked him, but that they were talking about possibly getting back into a relationship. All of those messages were from the same week, as she was still dating me.

I confronted her for cheating on me, then, and told her to leave my apartment and go home. She began to scream and cry, shoved me, slapped me in the face, and locked herself in the bathroom saying that she wouldn't leave.

She used to hit me constantly, which back then I believed was "normal" because it was my first relationship. I thought that all girlfriends must hit their boyfriends, and even more so because she was a woman and smaller than me. At that time I didn't consider it to be "actual assault," even if it did hurt me.

Even with her slapping me and shoving me more than once, I never fought back or laid a finger on her.

I knocked on the bathroom door saying that she needed to gather her things and leave my house, and she refused. This is the story that she turned into "I locked her in the bathroom"- since, because the bathroom key was kept inside the bathroom, it would have been impossible for this, and illogical to lock a person outside of the bathroom while I was trying to break up with them for cheating on me.

As she'd refused to leave, I said that I would leave her things at the exit of the apartment and when she decided to go she could look for them there. I then put her bag in the building's garage. This was what she made into "I threw her things away."

[A tweet by the ex-girlfriend]

"He woke me up, angry because I warned a friend not to talk to him anymore because my ex was jealous, so he kicked me out of the house without shoes and threw my things in the apartment's garbage."

And yes, I did call her names when I discovered that she was cheating. And she called me just as many as I called her, if not even more. She'd make me feel like a monster no matter what'd happened, literally inventing things that I never said and making me believe I said things that I don't remember saying.

After that, we stayed apart for some months, but still kept in contact and saw eachother a few times. She invented dozens of different excuses, from "It wasn't exactly that and I understood wrong" to "She was just talking to her ex then because she was scared that he would do something to me."

She always knew exactly what to say and how to manipulate things in a convincing manner. Eventually, we went back to dating again, but obviously my psyche was already completely destroyed.

With the passage of time, our relationship kept getting worse and worse. I would catch her lying about little things compulsively and all of the time. I noticed that she would always change some details in stories she told, she constantly talked shit about all of her friends and mainly about her best friend at the time, or other specific things that didn't make sense like saying she'd never felt attraction for any man besides me.

At events, she would say that other streamers were hitting on her, just to see my reaction, and in one situation in particular, she flirted with another influencer so much that he tried to kiss her in front of me. Then when I confronted him, he justified it by saying she'd implied that we had an open relationship.

Besides this, she continued having more and more violent outbursts, often in public over small things, such as yelling at me in the middle of a restaurant with my friends because I put ketchup on the side of the fries plate without asking for permission from her, and then calling an uber and leaving.

Or even to the point of creating situations to blackmail me with, like hiding the notebook I was using for work and refusing to give it back to me until I'd done what she wanted.

Another one of her stories included a party where I "abandoned her and left"- at this party, we had a fight after I saw her giving her number to a guy she'd just met while I was in the bathroom. She justified this with "He looked sad so she went to talk to him and let him know that if he needed anything he could send her a message." After that, I went to the other side of the party, and when I came back, I could not find her anywhere. I looked everywhere for her and nobody had seen or knew where she was. I had her phone with me, and searched the party for almost an hour without finding her. I thought that she'd maybe gotten a taxi home or hitched a ride with someone. An hour later, a friend of hers dropped her off at my apartment and she said that she had been on the second story of the party (which was a closed off section, there was no party there, I never would have thought of going up to the second floor to look for her) venting and talking with a friend.

She also claimed that I wasn't supportive and that I tried to hinder her from creating content on the internet, when all of the first edited vlogs on her channel were recorded on my camera, and I was also the one to teach her to edit her own videos.

She made me believe that I was dependent on her, that I would never find someone who really loved me, that all of the others would only stay with me for the interest and the followers. And I believed her.

Eventually, after two years of an extremely toxic relationship, I finally decided to break up with her in 2017.

Even after we ended our relationship she continued her behavior of compulsively lying and manipulating. In the same month that we ended our relationship, she got together with another influencer that she had been talking with for a while. In 2018, while she was still dating him, she would secretly talk with me and say that she still loved me.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex, dated 9th July, 2018]

(ex-girlfriend) "You were enough [text that is cut off on the screenshot] / just for understanding who I was / or laughing at my jokes / or staying with me / etc"

(Cellbit) "I love you / sorry that's fucked up"

(ex-girlfriend) "I love you too / eh, [I'm] equally fucked up JFDKSJKA / It's too intense to ignore"

(Cellbit) "But I could never stop fucking loving you, Flavia"

(ex-girlfriend) "Okay, look, I already knew this / IQ of 220"

(Cellbit) "And I know that you have a boyfriend and I never wanted to intrude or say anything because I know how unfair that would be for you"

Including, we had NUMEROUS conversations about our relationship where we asked for forgiveness from one another. Even with her publicly saying that "we'd never resolved it" in her livestreams, we talked normally as if everything was fine.

This is literally the last interaction that we had before she blocked me and did the streams claiming that I was a psychopath who destroyed her life:

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 4th August, 2018]

(Cellbit, in English) "Hey / ummm / I love you and think you are [incredible] okay. Maybe today is a normal day but I want you to remember that when you are feeling down or anxious or sad. I dunno, okay bye sleep well / Also this really looks like a drunk message but I swear I'm sober / [audio message] Here's Tingrinho being a little engine as proof"

(ex-girlfriend) "WHAT A CUTE PURR / and really, thank you / c:"

The last interaction before all of the exposures in which she claimed that "we'd never resolved it" and never talked about it.

After everything, she still had the capacity to use my depressive period and exposing my suicide attempt as a way to VILLAINIZE me. It was the worst time I went through in my life. I couldn't work, I started doing drugs for some months, and could only think about committing suicide every day. I only made it through alive because my BEST FRIEND went rushing to my house to save my life.

It's something that I am always going to be grateful for, something that I am never going to be able to forget, and something that he also never spoke about because he knew that it was something I was trying to forget. It was an extremely traumatic period in my life and I promised that I would never relive it.

Another story that I NEVER wanted to have to tell, and one that she EXPOSED on a livestream of hers, like somehow me trying to kill myself was proof that I am a monster.

And even after all of this, I continued my silence, watching her distort everything that we'd lived and transforming me into a monster for all of the internet, scared that if I responded, everything would become 10 times bigger and worse, and the internet would make both of our lives hell.

When I gave an interview on the program of another influencer and was asked what the reason was for the breakup, I tried not to start a war or create gossip, giving a generic answer, saying that we went our ways and that everything was fine, because we really were talking normally. My ex used this to villainize me, saying that I was trying to lie about our relationship in the interview in order to "erase my wrongs."

[A messaging string between Cellbit and the interviewer, dated 4th August, 2019]

(Interviewer) "Man, this bullshit is all exploding, do you want to speak about this with me?"

(Cellbit) "Hey, [redacted] first off I'm very sorry that you got stuck in the middle of this without having any relation to it / So, about your video, this is by far one of the most unfair things in this whole story, because she made it out as if it was a lie, but everything I said was 100% true. / Or at least that was what I thought at the time, that we had everything resolved and were both fine on our own. / Considering, she and I used to talk just fine on WhatsApp"

(Interviewer) "Magical. I imagine that she was insulted by me because of the video"

Explaining to the interviewer that what I said was true and that we were speaking normally, like the screenshot above proves, despite her not believing it.

I was always scared that everything would become a circus, everyone watching as two lives collapsed, when all that I wanted was for her to be fine and leave me in peace.

After we broke up, I spent years without being able to have a relationship of any kind with anyone, holding on to numerous traumas, believing that I would never be able to trust other people again, and that I was never going to find someone who would accept my asexuality.

It took more than 3 years to be able to finally trust in someone again, and today I am in a new relationship of almost 4 years. An extremely healthy relationship that showed me what it really means to be able to trust in someone, and has made me into someone who becomes better every day.

But, once again, like has happened many times every year, my ex-girlfriend continues reviving and creating new stories every time something relevant happens. If I'm canceled for being an asshole and banning a guy playing Tetris, if another creator is canceled for an abusive relationship, or if I'm a participant in an important international award ceremony, she appears once more, posting something about the subject, and deleting the tweets some time later to remain in the role of someone who is being attacked and "not left in peace." Just like she's probably going to do again now.

With the passage of time, she has gone from distorting events to inventing completely new things, until at this point even the public is starting to question her motive for bringing up the same topic again and again, like saying that I "controlled what she ate" or that I "tracked her location with GPS" which are complete lies.

She also enjoys blaming me for things that I don't have the smallest relation to, like saying that my fans made her lose her Instagram and "lose job opportunities," when in reality her Instagram account was reported when she was canceled for a post complaining about an event and was mocked by various influencers and sites.

[An Instagram post by the ex-girlfriend]

"I did an event with them, two days to earn 1500 reals. They gave me the cheapest room in the hotel. IT DIDN'T HAVE ROOM SERVICE- dinner options were risotto or lasagna (both microwave meals) and I had to get it downstairs. I have half a million followers and I seriously felt like a nobody."

The post of hers that resulted in the mass report that deleted her Instagram

Another thing that keeps being said incessantly on the internet is that I "never suffered any consequences even after she exposed all of that"- I lost dozens of contracts from all of the publicity agencies and producers that closed their doors on me and never invited me back to events or ads. But, I never publicly complained or disclosed this, because more than once that has resulted in a war involving the public.

All that I could do was keep working and keep believing that at some point this would all end. But everything that happened caused a surge of hate against me which generated accusations of various very serious and unacceptable crimes that random people on the internet all believed I'd committed, even without having any proof at all.

And I will not stand this any longer. I cannot put up with this knowing that my mother receives threats and terrible DMs, seeing people telling my girlfriend to kill herself or cheering for her to be abused in order to confirm the theories and accusations of my ex-girlfriend and see "Cellbit exposed once again"

[Three tweets from fans, all responding to one tweet made by Cellbit's girlfriend addressing the ex's allegations]

"In a max of 2 years she's going to post that Cellbit ruined her life with psychological problems, that he was abusive and forced her to post this"

"I hope you get fucked a lot!!! You and your shit boyfriend"

"Guys, remember when he attacked his girlfriend? Go fuck yourself Cellbit, kill yourself you piece of shit"

And I'm going to continue prosecuting everyone who continues to invent lies about me on the internet, it doesn't matter how much the engagement. If you have something to say, it's best to have proof you can take to court. It took me too long to understand that I didn't need to stay silent in the face of the atrocities that were said about me, and I am not going to stop again now.

They have already destroyed my image and my life on the internet, but I am not going to let this continue with the people close to me. I want to be happy with the people that I love, and I am not going to accept being treated like a criminal any longer.

She accused me of sexual assault, something that could end me publicly, believing that I would likely not respond because I have never responded before. She was not accusing me of being a mean, jealous or possessive boyfriend like she always used to, she accused me of a serious crime.

And now, she's going to set herself back into a position where this document is an attack on her, when all that I am doing is defending myself from the worst false accusation that has been made against me, of a crime.

I want to make it CLEAR: this document is NOT an attack or an attempt to induce hade against anybody. I am simply defending myself and giving my statement of the facts that happened. I DID NOT WANT TO BE DOING THIS, but it was the only way to be honest and true to all of the people who have supported my projects and my community.

I know that people who already disliked me, whatever their reason, are still not going to believe me. Like I said, I am not here to try and change anyone's opinion.

In the end, here in this document is the proof of a pattern of lying and manipulative behavior that has happened with many people before me and that continues to happen with me repeatedly. I just want to live in peace knowing that I finally accounted for all that I experienced, and leave the space for people to draw their own conclusions.

#cellbit #qsmp #I put everything under the readmore but I don't know if I still should tag all the triggers or not? theres probably a lot #this is a shit situation all around but to my fellow aces and my beloved brazilians lqm we'll all get through things together #also if there's any massive translation errors I've made please let me know I checked over everything like five times and cross referenced #with Cellbit's english translation afterwards but You Never Know. it's wild that a year ago I knew absolutely zero portuguese #took me like 10 hours total to fully translate this but I feel better now I think 👍#shoutout to my sibling for helping me english when I got so deep in Language Mode that I couldn't understand sentence syntax anymore

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mich-al · 4 months

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okay here's a mini-rabbit hole cuz my mind is being blown rn

so there was this cartoon called wow wow wubbzy on nick jr. it never aired where i live but i did play a bunch of the flash games they had on their website.

they were cool games but i think just the aesthetic with this simple shapes and all that is why it stuck out to me as a child. today i was bored and decided to revist them and because now i can actually understand english, i went to the wiki. one of the articles was about the artbook "The Art of Wubbzy" and it had this:

this sounded super weird. i assumed it was maybe some creepypasta nonsense cuz i was a Wikia Kid myself and most of the users were probably children. but it did elaborate on it later in the article.

(im just putting a 'read more' so your dash isnt too cluttered, there isn't anything super disturbing here or anything like that)

now if it was just the second picture, i would doubt that, but the other two sound too specific and not overtly scary enough for children to make up. luckily, the article had a link to a free pdf on scribd. so i scrolled through like 50 pages of normal artwork, and sure enough, the pictures were actually there!

i expected them to be at the end or something but no, each of them is scattered among tens of pages of usual production artwork. there's like no warning or anything, it's jarring, and would probably spook an 8-year old me. but the pictures do look a bit shoddy so i tried to see if there was some Physical evidence in the printed version.

that's the first picture they described! it's here! from a concerned parent it seems! and there's a youtube video of someone flipping through the book! you can see the "creepy art" next to the usual production artwork.

so here's the question... why would you put this in a book about a lil kid show? and why am i finding out about this just now? "vent art" like this isn't that rare, you've probably seen the very gory edit of "The Enchiridion" title card or heard of the edgy rugrats storyboards the animators made. these are relatively well-known, so i really feel i should've seen it. well, i don't have an answer, but i have a hunch.

recall the note that started it all. the SECOND edition. so it's not like it was removed due to backlash, it was Added later! you'll have an easier time buying the creepypasta version. but here are the dates:

that's a 14 year gap! that's long enough that anyone who watched wubbzy in its day is at least a teenager now! so my theory is, that since wubbzy is way past its cultural relevance and people with familiar with the show are Older, bob boyle (the creator) or the publisher at frederator decided to have some fun and show the world a lil peak behind the scenes. though, the pictures appearing with no context or explanation between storyboards and backgrounds makes it feel more like a sort of prank. idk how to end posts but thx 4 readin

#screenshot #well a bunch of screenshots really #wow wow wubbzy #idk what else to tag this #long post #this is also the most effort ive put into a tumblr post... so far #anyway if you have anything to add like maybe im totally off-base or my tone made me come off as a douche go ahead and add your 2 cents #i need answers man and i dont have the twitter to ping the guy or something

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lowlascl · 2 years

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muir77dawson · 2 years

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mctreeleth · 4 years

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Here it is! The instructions to make a pieced and quilted plague doctor mask!

Just as a heads up, this pattern is not really recommended for beginners. There is not a whole lot of explanation of the basic techniques, and it requires a fair bit of precision, two types of fusible interfacing, and an assumption that you can keep a consistent seam allowance and do some hand sewing and know when to sew things right sides together and such.

I am not promising anything, different methods will yield different results, I have never made a pattern exactly as it was written and neither should you. If you want something the same as the next person, go to the shops.

Actually, nevermind, this is a quarantine craft, stay home.

There are two ways to do the piecing for this project. The first is a quilting technique called English Paper Piecing, there are plenty of tutorials online, but it is done by hand and I do not have the patience for it. Still, if you have the time but not the machinery, it is probably your best option for a very good finish. Cut the pattern net out of card, glue the bits onto your fabric, sew them up, pull them out and add interfacing after. I sewed three hexies together once and got bored and gave up.

The method I actually used involves my favourite cheat for sewing: you can use an inkjet printer to print on non-woven fusible interfacing! There are ridiculously overpriced pre-cut packs available, but also you can just cut up some midweight to the right size. I just have a boring old Epson printer, and I can get away with just putting some scotch tape along the edge that feeds in for a bit of stability. Alternatively, depending on the brand, you can “fuse” it onto some non-stick baking paper, cut it to size, and then peel it off without losing too much adhesive. (My pictures look a little different because my original A4 version fits on the page differently than the shared version)

Printing onto interfacing means I know my dimensions are perfect, and I have the markings on the pieces so I know what joins to what. If you only have a laser printer, or your inkjet hates you and wont let you print on interfacing, I still recommend using fusible interfacing for structure and precision piecing. You will just need to keep a lot better track of what is what, because the pieces are all slightly different and they only go together one way.

The actual “pattern” for this project is a geometric net. I highly recommend making one in paper or cardstock first, because we all have different sized heads. As with most quilting projects, it will generally get to be a little bit smaller again once it is all sewn together, so keep that in mind.

This is a link to the PDF on Google Drive. It is a 4 page document, for printing on US letter size. There is enough space around the pieces that it can also print onto A4 paper: the one inch square should measure 2.5cm. Similarly, the extra space means it can be scaled up a bit before any gets cut off, if you have a particularly large face.

(Edited to add: if you were going to make this in a single fabric rather than pieced together patchwork pieces, I have uploaded a simplified version of the pattern, which has more curved seams which are easier to match. The technique is otherwise the same, but note that these patterns do not have seam allowances - you will need to add them when you cut your fabric so that the pieces match.)

The body of the mask is made up of two mirrored (four total) pieced together bits, plus some circles to go around the lenses. There are two mirrored top pieces, and two mirrored bottom pieces. The top pieces are numbered 1-14, and are split over two pages and need to be joined together. The bottom pieces are lettered A-H. On one side of the pattern the numbers and letters are circled, so you know which side you are working on. There are also small dashes in the corners of the pieces; single dashes connect to single dashes, double dashes connect to double dashes. At the parts that become the edges of the eye holes, there are little dots at the end of the dashes.

Even if you are printing onto interfacing, you will also need to do a paper printout, as it will be used later as a pattern to cut the batting and the lining. The paper printout can also be used to work out your fabric placement, if you are going for a certain look (again, this one was printed as an all in one A4 sheet, but it works the same).

Cutting the Patchworked Outer

If you have managed to print onto fusible interfacing, all you need to do is cut the pieces. Otherwise, do what you need to trace the pieces onto interfacing, making notes of where they go and which sides align to what.

Once you have your interfacing pieces cut and organized, fuse them to your fabrics with at least enough room between and around them for seam allowances on each side.

I use a 1cm seam allowance, but feel free to use a quarter or half inch if that is what you are used to.

Trim all the pieces to have a consistent seam allowance.

Lay the trimmed pieces out on the paper printouts. This will let you know if there are any pieces missing, or any parts where fabric duplicates might share a seam.

Piecing the Patchworked Outer

First, piece together the nets of the bottom pieces. Put a straight pin straight through at the corners of the interfacings of two neighboring pieces, so they are perfectly aligned. Then angle the pin on the right hand side so it comes back up along where the seam will go, and angle the one on the left so that it is going across.

Sew along the edge of the interfacing, aiming for just alongside of it, not on it.

Finger press the seams open, then repeat until all the pieces are together.

The technique for the top pieces is the same, but at any join which ends at an eyehole (marked on the pattern with a black dot on the ends of the dash), backstitch at the end of the interfacing, so that it won’t pull apart at the edge. The seam allowance at this part will be cut off, so it needs to be secured before that point to prevent it from pulling apart.

Batting and Quilting

Properly press all the pieces, with the seams open.

Using the paper pattern, cut out two mirrored top and bottom pieces from fusible batting.

Iron these onto the inside of the pieced parts, so that their edges line up with the interfacings. In my experience, the best way to iron on fusible batting is from the right side, so I pin them in place and flip them over, iron a little bit so they barely stick, pull out the pins, and fuse properly.

Do some quilting. I just went 5mm to the side of every seam, because the next lot of seams need to be topstitched in the same way, and I like the consistency.

Assembly of the Patchworked Outer

Join together the gap in the top pieces. The batting was aligned to the interfacing, so the technique is the same.

Press the seams apart and topstitch the seams to either side.

Trim off the excess seam allowance around the eye holes to the edge of the batting and interfacing. this was why we needed to backstitch earlier.

The next step joins the top and bottom pieces together. The bottom piece attaches to the more curved edge of the top piece - that last seam that was joined after adding the batting will meet these side seams, angled towards the tip of the beak. Sewing the sides is the trickiest bit to do on the machine, so, while I would normally say basting is for cowards, if you want the points to match perfectly, this is a time when pinning will not really cut it. I just hand sew through each point where the seams join, go back through a couple of threads over, and tie it off.

Then I put pins through the longer seams.

When sewing it with the machine, try to keep the lines as straight as possible, making turns only at the seams where you put a basting stitch.

Once both sides are sewn, press the seams open and topstitch to either side.

Repeat this step for the top centre seam. You can just pin baste this one if you would rather, because the angles match, but it is literally right there in the middle where everyone can see it, so if you are not confident in matching points, baste it.

Press the seams open and topstitch.

The technique is the same for the bottom centre seam, but topstitching all the way to the tip of the beak is not possible, so you will have to do the last bit of top stitching by hand.

It doesn’t matter so much if it is a bit messy, because it is not in a place where it can really be seen, but spitting the seam will help it hold its shape more nicely.

That is the pretty outside bit done.

Making and Attaching the Lining

To make the lining, use the paper pattern to cut two mirrored pieces of the top and bottom pieces, with whatever seam allowance you prefer.

The gap on the top piece will have a maximum possible seam allowance of about a quarter inch, but this is enough for a secure internal seam. The eye holes do not need a seam allowance.

Sew together the gaps in the top pieces, then sew the top seam of the top pieces and the centre seam of the bottom pieces together.

Open up both pieces and sew the sides together. You should have a lining piece that is a floppy, boring version of the outside piece.

I have not included a step for how to make a strap, because everyone has their own preferred methods, and there are plenty of alternative options. If you don’t want to worry about making strapping you can use ribbon or elastic, or put a small loop there to thread something through afterwards. Whatever the choice, pin to the centre of the back edges of pattern pieces #10, facing towards the eye holes.

Put the lining piece, facing right side in, over the pieced outer and the strap pieces and pin around the edges, lining up the four seams of the lining with the seams on the outer.

Sew around the edge.

Turn the piece right side out through one of the lining’s eye holes. You just sort of pull the pieced outer (which is currently inside) back a bit, until the tip of the beak can come through an eye hole, and then try to pull it through as gently as possible so that the raw edge of the eye hole doesn’t get too stretched and frayed.

Then push the lining back into the pieced outer body of the mask.

Pin around the edge, so that the lining is all tucked neatly inside.

Top stitch over the edge.

Eye hole time!

Pin the outer and lining together in the eye holes, and top stitch about 4mm (1/6th of an inch) from the edges. Trim any fraying bits.

Hand stitch 1 inch wide bias binding to the inner edge of the eye hole, just over the top stitch.

Flip the bias binding through the eye hole to the outer, fold the raw edge of the bias binding under itself, and hand stitch it down to the outside. Repeat for the other eye.

This next step is the worst bit, and if you have another method, go for it. Theoretically you could use something thicker that wouldn’t fray, like a felt or leather, so that you didn’t have to worry about lining the eye holes, but it depends on the look you are going for.

Cut out four circles from fabric, two of the biggest size, two of the medium size. Draw the smallest size circle in the middle of the back of the medium sized circle, and stack it on top of the centre of the big one, right sides together. From the fusible batting, cut two donut shapes of the medium size with the smallest circle cut out of the centre.

Using very small stitches, sew around the small circle drawn on the medium sized circles. Fuse the donut of batting to the back of the large circle, with the inside of the donut matching the sewn line. Cut an even smaller hole out of the middle, so that the seam allowance that remains is a slightly smaller width than the batting. Clip this into at least 12 pieces.

Press the smaller circle towards the centre, so that it can be turned in though the hole.

This will take a lot of careful ironing and pinning. Let it sit for a bit, so that it learns to be there.

Then unpin it, but hopefully the little clipped bits will stay there. Fold the bigger circle down over them – you will need a lot of little tiny pleats – making the outer edge as round as possible.

Then press that smaller circle back down over the pleats, so that it is level with the folded outer edge. If it sticks over in any places, trim it back, but only just.

Pin this donut shape over the eye piece. The inside edge of the donut should be level with the inside of the bias binding, the raw edge up against the outer fabric.

Hand sew around the outer edge of the donut to the pieced fabric. Make sure that the raw edge from the smaller circle is under the donut, but do not let it flip out through the middle. On the machine, top stitch about a quarter inch from the outer edge.

This should catch the raw edge inside, and leave a ridge between the outer eye donut and the bias bound eye hole. From the inside, it should be possible to pop in a round lens from a pair of sunglasses, or an improvised lens such as a circle of clear plastic cut from the lid of an old takeaway container, or some transparent holographic vinyl, such as this stuff on amazon. Repeat for the other eye hole.

Hooray! You are all done!

I am really not sure on the efficacy of this as an actual viable mask. On the one hand, there are a lot of seams through which germs could pass, but on the other hand, the fact that the lining is a bit loose and baggy inside the beak might cancel that out.

Depending on your materials, it should be machine washable, although it will almost certainly look a lot less crisp.

I had a lot of issues with my lenses fogging up after a couple of minutes of me wearing it, but who knows, maybe I am just a very wet breather.

I am not going to charge anything for this pattern, nor am I going to place restrictions on what you do with the items you make. I do not control your right to profit from your work. All art is derivative, and you making your own version transforms this pattern. Don’t let assertions of intellectual property rights be another way you are alienated from your labour. If you decide to sell your work, demand fair remuneration for your time and skills. Someone offering to pay for the materials is not enough. If you have decided to take an activity you love and turn it into work, make it worthwhile.

On the flip side, please don’t try to sell this bit of writing or the PDF of the pattern net or these photographs. They are free for you and for everyone else. Resist society’s message that you should try to profit from your every action, and especially resist the notion that true success is achieved by profiting from anyone else’s labour.

If you want to discuss this stuff further, I would love that! I am researching the commodification of creative knowledge for my PhD, focusing on quilt patterns and designs. Message me @mctreeleth on tumblr and instagram or @sarasewsstuff on twitter for my uni email.

Edit: I have added in a link to a simplified version if you are going to make this with a single fabric rather than patchwork piecing.

#plague doctor mask #quilting #sewing #quarantine craft #sewing pattern #craft pattern #long post under the cut #with so so many pictures #it has been a wild five days #I haven't slept in about 37 hours #I have three of these but only one set of lenses #that just fog up instantly

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catdraiochta · 2 years

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might be a dumb question, but do you work with Mabon at all ? super interested in Him but most places seem pretty empty of any personal experiences w Him and have very, very little historical info if any. ty in advance for your time !

not dumb at all, at all! i do work with mabon in my personal practice, yes. for personal experience i can tell plenty! but as for historical information there's hardly anything at all. i’ll give it a goo and tell all i can! i’m about to ramble on it, so hope my thoughts and research are helpful. grab a pint o’ the black stuff and saddle up!

history wise: there's the legends of king arthur, and slight implications that he was a minor pre-christianization god.

here's a pdf with the majority of well-known king arthur legends. mentions of mabon are sprinkled throughout. mabon ap madron as he’s known in said legends, is the only surviving version of mabon we have aside from incredibly sparse factoids and speculation about how he was worshiped. it’s very likely that mabon ap madron is mythologically descended from a divine mother-son pair. he is mentioned as early as the tenth century poem Pa Gur, but only as a follower of arthur.

quote from wiki (sources provided & seems to be accurate, thank fuck) “his name is related to the romano-british god maponos, whose name means "great son". modron, in turn, is likely related to the gaulish goddess dea matrona.” there’s only a few remnants of maponos as well, three statues and few brief mentions, one statuette involving him depicted as a harper and standing opposite a likely diana-adjacent huntress figure speculated to be a depiction of dea matrona or an unnamed celtic goddess.

he’s also thought to be, from what i’ve read in my 7 years researching (too many sources spewing the same ting for me to link honestly), to be the welsh equivalent of the irish god aengus og, bless him. they have similar epithets and almost the exact same name when translated to english. considering two people with the same name to be the exact same lad is super anglocentric though, and the few mabon venerators tend to think that’s brits makin utter bags out of it.

i’ll reiterate here: there is NO historical evidence or support of him having dedicated feasts, dedicated festivals, or anything even similar to the wiccan “mabon sabbat.”. there is no evidence of him being connected to autumn though neodruids do associate him with the autumn feast. given his epithets and associations, he’s probably more likely associated with spring since as a god he is likely to have been part of a mother-son pair.

...

my personal practice: mabon is not well known, and hard to place. when i first tried to make contact, it felt like waiting for a snail to come out of it’s shell when it feels safe enough. i approached cautious, kind, with offerings the poor chiseler probably hadn’t seen in centuries! i offered traditional things, nothing fancy. milk, bread with some honey, and some seared beef. it felt slow, and it felt at first like i’d chosen a truly dead god. but then, i felt him there. warmest, softest feeling i’d ever felt, like the excitement, the wonder, the caution, the joy, of meeting a long distance partner for the first time. i instantly felt known, cherished, thanked beyond any gratitude a human could show. i’m normally very cautious with new entities, but i knew i’d got the real mabon then. delira, telling ye.

after that, i began building a relationship. i used what’s known in the community as a ‘godphone’ to learn more about him, what he liked as offerings, what he wanted from this, what he associated himself with... through that and talking with the few other followers and some neodruids (and one very sweet old welsh woman who told me “the Neighbors will find me where the lord left me”) i’ve found some common UPG associations such as the ones listed in my devotional moodboard/info post.

mabon, as a deity, is very pleasant and genial in my experience. kind-eyed, sad, fretting of suffering, and such a mumma’s boy! you’ll find he’ll be very welcoming and excited to have followers, very eager to give signs and messages, and accepting of almost any offerings. in my time with him, i’ve found him to particularly enjoy traditional irish and welsh food! scrans picau ar y maen like a mad man. lamb soup and shepherd’s pie are other favourites. selsig morgannwg is one i love to cook up and share with him!

do not eat food that’s been offered. in generalized celtic tradition, food offered up to our good neighbors or deities are spiritually dead & are eaten by the spirit, and would make you feel drained and bone tired if eaten.

if you have other questions feel free to ask about it! i love talking and informing about mabon so much, i never mind it. also if anyone has more info or corrections, i’d be happy to hear it! i love learning new things since pre-christian wales is so rarely spoken about.

EDIT, GOOD SOURCES ON MABON:

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/agora/2018/09/mabon-is-a-god https://www.maryjones.us/jce/mabon.html http://www.godeeper.info/blog/who-is-mabon

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ryuu-to-sobakasu-hime · 3 years

Text

Ryuu to Sobakasu no Hime (Belle) Novel | English Translation | Chapter 3

**This is a machine translation. I put it together by extracting text page-by-page from a .pdf version of the Japanese novel, and running it through Google translate. I have only minorly edited some of the more confusing lines to make it more read-able. It is still a very rough translation, but it’s good enough to understand what’s going on. If there is anyone out there who wants to properly translate the novel, I am more than happy to edit it, if you’ll contact me.**

———————————————

Chapter 3: Memory

"Mother."

"What is it, Suzu?"

When I called, my mother turned around and replied.

Eleven years ago. The house was still new. There was no garage yet, and potted flowers were lined up all over the garden. "Do not cut my hair."

I told her that and ran down the slope in front of my house. Mom walked down the stairs opposite her, resting her hand on her waist and waiting. I ran away in the opposite direction, bouncing, saying that I would never let my hair be cut. But I was taken back without a hitch. She was seated on a bench in the garden and dressed in a haircut cape. “I’m going to make you look cute, Suzu.” After cutting my hair, I don't like the tingling of my hair. She shook her legs and sharpened her lips. But when she held the scissors without hesitation, she cut my hair all at once. "Because you’re going to be an elementary school student," I hope the hair on both sides doesn't stick to my shoulders. The bangs were far above the eyebrows. Even when I went to school, my neck was tingling for a while.

I played a lot with my mother. I took a sumo wrestling on the lawn of the riverbed in the evening. I pushed her by force and my mother rolled on the grass. I won, I laughed happily. Mother also laughed. I asked why? Won’t she cry if she loses? Mom shook her head. “I'm glad that the weak Suzu has become stronger.” Dad was laughing while lying on the grass. My mother often made salted seared meat. She lightly sprinkles salt and roasts the bonito stabbed on a gold skewer from her lenticel over an open flame on the stove. I was staring from the top of the chair. Since the fat drips, the microwave oven will not get dirty if you bake it while sucking it with cooking paper. When it gets burnt, dip it in ice water to cool it, and then drain it. It was a style. So as a kid, I had a hard time holding a thick piece of salted meat with chopsticks, and I had a hard time putting it in my mouth. Mom was waiting for dad's return, holding a mug and watching my struggle.

My dad was a salaryman at that time, and he wore a tie and went out to the city every day. Perhaps because of that, we had some money in our house in the old days. Mother bought a state-of-the-art smartphone at the time. I decided to try out the performance of the on-board camera, and on dad's lap, I pointed my smartphone at my mom. I asked dad to help put mom in the frame and pressed the shutter. She is dressed in white.

The smiling mother, she was beautiful. The photo of her was printed on paper and is still at the house. I was a cheerful child running around, unlike now. I definitely liked playing outside rather than inside the house. If there were trees, I climbed, if there were leaves, I tore them, and if there were insects, I chased them. But it didn't burn in the sun. I must have been such a constitution. Instead, my face is freckled.

I was often injured. My knee was also full of scratches. In the woods, on the riverbed, on the slope in front of my house, I often stumbled and fell. My mother ran up in a hurry and she hugged me tightly, crying in pain. Mysteriously, it hurts somewhere. That's when I was happy. I don't know how many times I fell because I ran around vigorously and wanted mother to hug me. Every time mother rushed in as if it was a big deal for her daughter and worried. Every day was like summer vacation. I clung to mother doing the laundry and cleaning and played. After lunch, she opened the tatami mat, laid a summer futon on the tatami mats, and we took a nap together. The smoke of the mosquito coil was rising slowly. When I woke up, most of the time, I couldn't see my mother sleeping next to me, and she was busy doing housework. In retrospect, she never been told me that she is busy. She was always with me when I asked for it. Since my house was in the mountains, I rarely went out to eat somewhere, and instead my mother cooked any kind of food. One day she saw it in a picture book, and she said she wanted to eat yakitori. She had never eaten it before. My mother made yakitori by sticking chicken on skewers one by one. For the first time in my life, I saw yakitori with the naked eye. I didn't know how to eat it, so I couldn't do well by chewing the meat and removing it from the skewers. Dad and mom were staring at me. Never missing what her daughter experiences for the first time in her life. The place where we, who live in the mountains, go out to play is not an amusement park or a shopping mall, but a campsite further in the mountains from our house.

On a sunny summer day, my mom and I wore a wide-brimmed hat and crossed the subsidence bridge. Dad was carrying a lot of camping equipment. The water crystal pool in the depths of the Yasui Valley was a breathtaking blue color even for us living in the area. The water is so transparent that you can clearly see your shadow on the bottom of the river. I feel a little scared as if I were floating in the air. My mother was an advanced swimmer. She boasted that her mother, who was once a local kid, swam like a kappa every day in the summer. She knew all about the fun of the river. At the same time, she never let her swim in dangerous places on dangerous days. Mom wraps around me, floating. She dived into the water to show her off her skills. Still picked up by her, I became anxious and called out. “Mom, don't go.” But mom, she swam in the blue water, as if she couldn't hear me.

One evening, I was playing with my mother's smartphone and saw a strange app. I put it on. When you launch the app, you'll see white and black horizontal stripes lined up. I pointed to what this was and asked my dad who was next to me. Dad looked it and twisted his neck, calling mother, who was preparing dinner. After dinner, mother's hand fixed the smartphone I was holding vertically. I laid it down and found it to be a piano keyboard. As prompted, I pressed one of the keys. There was a "do" sound. I looked at my mother's face. My mother also saw my face, saying that she had come out. It's mom’s music production app. Only then did I look around my mother's room and notice. Old records, cassette tapes, and CDs are lined up on the shelves to the end. And if you set them on a record player or cassette deck and pass them through an amplifier, music will be played from the left and right speakers. The collection was a brilliant one that accurately captured the main points of the history of classical, jazz and rock. I didn’t know at the time, the value and meaning of such a lineup being packed in a room at the end of the world.

In that room, I pressed the keys of the app one after another and recorded. When played, each sound sounds in the order in which they are arranged. Even if you enter an insane scale, it will play back in a lawful manner. I was so happy that I bounced on my chair. My mother was laughing too. Warm incandescent light was illuminating us. After that, I was crazy about this app. I had my mother lend me a smartphone and I was playing around with it day, night and morning. The operation was intuitive and easy to use. There were words that I couldn’t read because it wasn’t a children's app. And there were many functions I didn't understand. But I was absorbed in that kind of thing. I was completely absorbed in the exciting new experience of writing songs. I composed a number of songs and previewed them in front of my mother. The mother who finished listening gave me advice in short words each time. If you do xxx, it will be better, or the trick is to do xxx. She sometimes took out some of the records in the collection and listened to them for reference. My mother is neither a musician nor a composer.

I think each piece of advice is accurate even if I look back on it now. Over and over again, she listened to my melody, and she said she noticed something, and she sang herself to make sure it was. When I asked, she said it wasn't bad. She said she was smirking at me as she said. I put the sound in a place that I wouldn't normally put it. I'm sure this song was a failure, and all the work I've done so far will be ruined. But as it gradually takes shape, it seems strangely cohesive, she said. I felt as happy as I wanted to. I'm sure it's my parents' favor, but even if my mother added, I was happy. For me, I'm not making it with the intention of letting someone else listen to it. It would have been nice if only my mother could listen to it. My mother sings along with the song I typed in. Take the tempo with her right hand and sing gently. The voice of mother, who was also a member of the chorus made by her friends, echoed and was transparent.

She listened to my weird songs many times. I was happy and sang along with it. Anyway, it’s a song that is as nice as my mother.

I couldn't. Happy memories of me and mother suddenly end here. And that August has come. After this, all I have is a painful, painful memory. The voice of a little girl crying and crying echoed in the riverbank. A girl was left alone on a sandbar. Is she 4 or 5 years old? She looked smaller than I was. It was so sunny just a while ago, but I noticed it wasn't a blue sky, and it was covered with overcast clouds. The beautiful and calm river was cloudy, flooded, driftwood-filled, and surprisingly fast. I can imagine that it is raining heavily upstream. Before this happened, there were people happily making noise on the opposite bank when the flow was still transparent. They are now staring at the girl on this shore. She wore colorful outdoor clothing that made it easy to see that she probably came from the city, not a local. The girls' clothes were also bright colors that I had never seen. Why did people from the city overlook the girls' flashy colored clothes? Why did she forget her existence and she came back to this shore? What to do with friends, their families, and those who enjoyed fishing and canoeing on the riverbanks.

It seemed that she couldn't do anything, and she had no choice but to stand and look like a stick. It's no wonder you're standing. The violent flow of the river separated the girl from the people. Everyone realized that it couldn't be helped. One of the adults was talking to someone on his cell phone. However, everyone can see that where the girl is, is gradually narrowing. Everyone is aware that it is very unlikely that the rescue team will arrive in time. Therefore, I have no choice but to stand up without being able to do anything. Is it just listening to the girl's crying as it is? At that time, someone picked up the red life jacket beside the canoe.

I went forward while staring at the girl. She was a mother. Mommy, and I hurriedly clung to the hem of her mother's clothes. She realized that what her mother was trying to do was too dangerous. She wouldn't have been anxious. She screamed and pulled hard, trying not to let her go. Mom crouched down and squeezed my hand, and she told me something. At that time I can't remember what mother said. Maybe I was screaming and not ready to hear the words. Mom stood up to shake off my chasing and ran, locking the buckle on her life jacket. I fell down on a stone in the riverbank trying to chase her. Still, I got up and shouted at mother's back. Don't go. I think mom didn’t hear my words. While checking the girl's whereabouts, I went around the river, went into the water, and got in the stream to help. It started to rain.

How long has it passed since then? Suddenly the surroundings became noisy. The girl was rescued from the river. Adults are pulling the soaked and tired girl out of the river. I was staring at while getting wet in the rain. People running up. A mixture of joyful voices and crying voices. Are you okay? Open your eyes. I'm glad I was saved ... The girl was wearing the same red life jacket that her mother wore. At that moment, I understood at once what was happening. Mom isn’t here.

"Mother ..... Mother .....!"

I looked left and right, searching for her.

Not anywhere.

"Mother ...!"

In the distance, I heard an ambulance siren. The girl was wrapped in a blanket.

Carried by many adults, she leaves the riverbank. Everyone is crazy about it and realizes that my mom isn't there.

She isn't.

"Mom!" Only I raised my voice and kept calling. Many times. Many times. Many times. I don't remember much after that. When I heard that my mother was found all the way down the river, it seemed like a lie. It wasn't long before I realized that the mug that mother was using was missing. Dad put a picture of mother, which he took someday, in a picture frame and put it in a corner of the kitchen. He had to add flowers every day next to it. Neighbors bothered to talk to me every time I met them on the road, listened to me in a friendly way, and encouraged me with tears. Meanwhile, the Internet was flooded with anonymous posts about the accident.

"It's a suicide act to jump into a river flooded by rain"

"It seems that she was confident in swimming, but it's different from the pool."

《It is irresponsible for my child to help someone else's child and die》

《If there is an accident, playing in the river will be a nuisance and annoying》

《Because helping people is a good person, this is what happens》

The person who wrote it probably didn't know anything about the actual situation, and the day after he wrote it, he probably forgot what he wrote. However, the person who wrote it keeps sticking in my chest forever. Immediately after the accident, an acquaintance told me with resentment that it was terrible when I saw this. In front of these words, I was too young to understand all the meanings. However, as I grew up and became able to understand the meaning of the words accurately, I continued to suffer from the unconscious malice contained in them. Losing mother.

How should I pass on these writings as a bereaved family, even though I still can't accept them, as if the mother who helped me was all bad?

Aside from me, my mother just smiled in the picture frame in the kitchen. From that accident, I think something has changed decisively from what I used to be. One evening, in mother's room, where dust began to build up, I stood on her chair, hoping to return to her happy memories. And I sang the song I sang with mother. But when I started singing, I realized I couldn't sing at all. My voice became stuck in the back of my throat and couldn't get out of my mouth. I was confused. Something in my heart was suppressing me from singing. Why can't I sing? Tears came out.

Hey mom. Why can't I sing?

It was clear that the reason why singing was so fun and necessary was because my mother listened to it.

However, just because you can't sing... You don't have to worry about anything. Even if you can't sing, no one will blame you. Life just goes on. I went to a local junior high school. The jumper skirt uniform was stuffy. Many of the elementary school classmates went to the town as they went on to school, and there were not half of the students remaining in the local area, so even in junior high school, it became a compound class. Therefore, the chorus practice was accompanied by the vice-principal teacher, and it was decided to sing in all grades. There were three people in all grades. Because there were only three people, I quickly realized that I was just lip-synching without singing. I was asked why I didn't sing, but I didn't say anything. I thought they would get angry, but they didn't get angry. It means that only I can visit from the next practice.

I sat alone in a corner of the music class and watched everyone practice. I may have looked like a lethargic girl who was just silent. But inside that, there are things that can't be translated into words.

I think it was swirling. When I left school and returned home, I irresistibly entered mother's room in the twilight. The twilight light was shining through the window. Cardboard boxes containing tableware and seasonal home appliances that are no longer in use are piled up on the table. It was completely turned into a storeroom. It's been many years since then. It has passed. I listened to the large number of records there, one by one from the edge of the shelf. Days, days, days. By listening earnestly, I managed to calm my rough feelings. But one day, there was a moment when I thought I couldn't bear it anymore. Upon returning, I entered my mother's room, sat down in front of the keyboard, quickly opened the report sheet, and began to write fiercely with a pen to spit out the incomprehensible feelings in my chest. I was almost suffocating if I didn't spit it out. I turned over the paper and continued to write forever. -Why did mother leave me in the river? Why did she choose to help the child who she didn't even know her name rather than live with me? Why am I alone? Why, why, why – I added paper, supplemented with post-it notes, and wrote long, long lyrics. The scale that springs up is notated long and long. Those that were neither were spit out as pictures. It was a swirl of many kinds. It was like a whirlpool floating on the surface, like a black hole that swallowed everything, and like a hole in the top of my head. The floor of the room was filled with pieces of paper with a mixture of lyrics, pictures and sheet music. But suddenly..... I returned to myself and stopped writing. Right now, I've noticed the worthlessness, meaninglessness, ugliness, and helplessness of the words, pictures, and scales I wrote.

What are you doing? I broke the paper. Everything I've written so far.

I threw it in the trash can without hesitation. The bundle of paper looked like a vomit that I had just spit out. Then I became a high school student.

I finally found myself worthless. The uniform tie was stuffy. I crossed the subsidence bridge while looking down and went to school. I took an exam and passed the exam at a junior and senior high school in the center of the city, and transferred from high school. There, I met my childhood friend Shinobu-kun again.

"Shizu.."

"Shinobu-kun ..."

Now that I was in high school, Shinobu-kun looked tall and shining, all different. On the other hand, I didn't seem to have grown at all since then, and I was irresistibly embarrassed and couldn't even talk. What have I been doing so far? I started a new life going to the city from the mountains, but I couldn't get into studying. Even though I had a hard time taking the exam, I just looked out the window during class. Knowing that this shouldn't be the case. Club activities didn't go anywhere. There were very few such students. On the way home, you can see the students devoting themselves to club activities. The track and field club is jumping the training hurdle in a line in the courtyard. The volleyball club is running on the ground. A percussionist in the brass band with a metronome in his ear is striking a stick in the hallway. The Naginata club sits upright in the martial arts hall with a good posture, and thank you for your cooperation, saying before the practice. The first-year students of the baseball club, who have not yet been numbered, stand side by side and watch as if they are digging into the practice of their seniors. I didn't belong anywhere, so I left school quickly. It was already winter. There is a river called Kagami River that flows from east to west in the center of the city. Since the flow is often gentle, the TV tower and buildings on the opposite bank are reflected like a mirror. When I returned to the station through the road beside it, the girls of the light music club carrying the "Chahahaha" musical instrument case overtook me with a light step while laughing. A cute cat-shaped stuffed animal attached to the school bag is shaking. Attached to my school bag was a cheesy plastic plate of "Gutto Koremaru". "Gutto Koremaru" is an egg-shaped character who can poke his hand against the wall and endure the pain. I have a crack in my head, probably because I endured it too much. Of course, it's not cute.

In a dark and narrow corridor.

I resisted, "I can't do it! Hey!", But I was pulled into the room, saying "OK." The soundproof door slammed behind me. Shinboku "Ah!" There was a flashy room in a karaoke box, and the pink and purple lights were spinning mysteriously. It smells of incense. Only for girls in the class.

I heard that it was a social gathering, but when I saw the frenzy of the girls standing on the sofa and shaking their heads, I thought that I could not get into this tension very much.

"Peggie Sue is cute"

"This is the one that is popular in" U ", isn't it?" On the monitor screen on the wall, the popular Az of "U", Peggy Sue, was seen singing in a black rubber dress. Purple lipstick that shakes silver hair. An eccentric beauty with red eyes. Peggy Sue? "U"? Az? Is it popular? I don't know anything. It's like an event in a different world from me. Then, Hitomi suddenly offered a microphone, "Yes." Sing, and so on. "Huh?" Puzzled. Neither the coat nor the muffler is taken off. But "yes" the microphone was pointed again. Why for a child like me who is at the end of a class?

"Sing together?"

"Hey, sing."

The shadows of the girls press the microphones. What do you mean?

"Are you not going to sing alone?"

"Isn't it a lie that you can't sing?"

I see, so it’s this situation.

Dozens of microphones are forced against my face one after another. "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"

"Sing"

"Hey, sing?"

"Sing"

Those voices sound like a threat.

"You're telling me to sing."

"Sing!"

Ahh!

Immediately, the microphone popped off and fell to the floor.

The girls dancing on the sofa suddenly saw me. It's calming down as if I was taken aback.

"What happened? Suzu-chan"

The mic and the shadows of the girls disappeared like a phantom.

"No, nothing. I'm sorry. Hey ..."

Without saying anything, I pushed the door of the karaoke box open by force and went out like crawling. Someone might have heard and told everyone that I couldn't sing.

When I got off the bus, powder snow was flying. I almost slipped down the slope from the bus stop. Even in Kochi, it usually snows in the mountains, aside from the city. When I crossed the subsidence bridge, I heard a crackling sound of thin ice. The surface of the concrete bridge is frozen.

Cold. It's not dexterous enough to get used to everyone, and it's not divisible. On the other hand, I’m not strong enough to be alone, not prepared, and have no idea.

I don't do anything selfish. Rumors that you can't sing, that's a lie. I'm just not confident in myself for a while. I want to get along with everyone. Really. I know. Of course I know. So "Ah ... Ah ..."

In the middle of the bridge, I impulsively exhaled my voice.

"Ah ... ah ... ah ah"

As I breathed in, cold air sank into my throat. Still, I sang towards the river. "Ah..”

Did I sing? It didn't match a song. It's just a growl. The bag slipped off my shoulder. Will you forgive me if I sing? Can I get along with everyone if I sing? It doesn't help to sing alone in such a place. It's like a scream of a dead end before being crushed. Still, I sang that song with my mother with a squeezed voice. I was happy back then. It's different now. Powder snow was swirling in the flow of the river. Suddenly, in front of me it became pitch black. Nausea swelled from the back of my stomach, and I held my mouth with both hands.

"Uuuuu!"

I crouched on my knees. However, I couldn't stand the momentum of the backflowing gastric juice. I pushed my body forward and vomited towards the clear stream under the bridge. The vomit that was about to kneel and vomit fell to the surface of the water, creating a number of ripples. I spit out everything in my stomach and fell on the bridge. My hair is messed up and my mouth is smeared with gastric juice and smells. It's already spicy. I want to get rid of everything. Shivering and crying as if groaning. Drops of tears ooze on my cold cheeks and tingle. I wish I were gone.

I could hear the slight sound of powder snow folding and piled up right next to me. A notification came to the smartphone that slipped off my bag. It was a message from Hiro-chan.

<< Look at this, Suzu. It’s so amazing that I’m seriously laughing. >>

There is a link to somewhere.

-------------------

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Dcx2NedPVBEdbfQaU-WC0pJMRmn20ASn7HSC0KY9R7E/edit?usp=sharing ~ Google Doc of the English-translated novel.

ryuutosobakasuhime.wordpress.com ~ English fan-site for Ryuu to Sobakasu no Hime where translations, scans, and other content is posted.

#belle #belle movie #ryuu to sobakasu no hime #ryu to sobakasu no hime #ryu #ryuu #studio chizu #mamoru hosoda #竜とそばかすの姫 #belle 2021 #hime

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gooeykit · 2 years

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So I just saw your reblog and thought I could clarify a few things about my Bubblegum Crisis collection!

So firstly, the Yamato Priss & Motoslave pack is sadly the normal version and not the metallic colours variant (not that lucky, alas). I got the set off ebay from a seller who didn’t realize what they were selling. I think it may have been from an estate sale. As for the other figures in the photo, the one in the jumping pose is the 1/13 Aoshima model kit, which is the cheapest way to get a Priss figure but requires a LOT of work and paint. The taller figure is the rare Atelier Sai figure from 2005. I was hunting for this for a year, and only barely managed to snag it from Mandarake, though I wasn’t able to afford the rest of the set.

In terms of Bubblegum Crisis books, I have a few! So I have the 1988 art book (also known in Japan as a “mook” book) full of character line art for eps 1-3, mini manga strips, and cool interview stuff. I also have the 1989 mook book for eps 4-6 and the music video Hurricane Live 2032 (missing dust cover, got it for a bargain on ebay), the light-hearted Go! Go! Sabers manga that has a bunch of fun short stories in it involving the Knight Sabers, two copies of the light novel Bubblegum Crisis Vol 1: Silent Fanfare (which has original art by Kenichi Sonoda), a copy of the light novel Bubblegum Crisis Vol 2: Break Down-48, the one-shot volume of the AD Police-centered manga AD Police 25:00 (which btw is entirely in English despite never seeing a western release…and was also adapted into the AD Police Files OVA), AD Police: Demise City (which actually DID get a western localization thanks to Dark Horse comics back in the 90s but the original manga was cut short for legal reasons), the AnimEigo laserdisk release of episode 3 of AD Police Files (adapted from the first chapter of AD Police 25:00), a few of the OST/vocal track compilation CDs, and a rare B-Club resin kit of Priss from ep 1. While not directly Bubblegum Crisis-related, I also have one of Kenichi Sonoda’s art books that has tons of BGC art in it as well. :3c

I found the majority of these through either frequent ebay searching or through the website Mandarake, which is a Japan-based second hand anime and manga store that ships worldwide. The key to finding this stuff is a loooot of patience and frequent checking.

Lastly, if you want access to a lot of good Bubblegum Crisis stuff, I recommend checking out the PDFs for R. Talisorian Games’ Bubblegum Crisis RPG books (which were published in the 90s but scanned and uploaded to AnimEigo’s website for free), which feature a LOT of translated lore from the Japan-only books and production art. It’s a great place to start if you can’t afford to buy the original art books. I also recommend checking out the old 90s BGC fan website ravensgarage.com:

http://www.ravensgarage.com

Its an archive for all of the 90s BGC fandom’s most important fansites AND has high quality scans from one of the Crisis and Crash art books on there.

YOU ARE ACTUALLY MY BEST FRIEND THANK YOOOOOU!!!!!!

#GOING CRASY OVER ALL THIS TYSM

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floweryuu · 3 years

Text

Learning Japanese with help of games

I'm trying to learn japanese through playing games. Could vary from japanese kid games to english games teaching you japanese.

I decided to blog my journey and the games I'm using to learn. I'm not finished with the games but I do like writing down which games help me and may help you if you're intrested in doing it to.

Disclaimer

This works for me the best, I learned english through gaming and it really helps me with having just something rewarding serotonin instead of me crying at a text book or pdf for not understanding. If this doesn't work for you there always other ways, like watching anime, reading manga, watch tutorials ect or if attending classes and studying online works for you, you should do that instead of this.

I want to mention I'm neurodivergent, I have dyslexia, autism, a short attention span. My energy drained out easily because of my autism and depression, I'm not a native english speaker and I have problems learning new subjects. So if I see a problem that is a problem for me I will mention it, I know neurotypical people have easier time than me and probably don't see it as a problem personally but it may be a problem for others too.

I started to learn japanese again on 19th march 2021, last time I had classes in 2019 just around when the pandemic started, I lost a lot of it because depression and I could never get into it again until I realized I could use video games.

I got the "Study japanese to survive deluxe" kit game on steam. I started with hiragana which I had some knowledge from before.

Game play starts as a normal RPG suddenly a man shows up speaking japanese and later attacks the village, the main protaganist tries to fight him but at no avail, because she cannot fight the "hiragana warriors" making no damage to them. Later a teacher comes to town to teach the protaganists japanese so they can defeat the "hiragana warriors" that is when the lesson comes in, which the game encourages you to take notes on after lesson ended you take a quiz before heading out to fight the "hiragana warriors" which are japanese letters and you have to select the right corresponding sound to the japanese letter.

I finished lesson 1, 2 and 3. and the story parts 1 and 2, still haven't started 3 yet so I'm just at the beginning of the game so my opinion of the game might change over time.

I like to share some pros and cons I have over the game.

Pros

The game doesn't cost a lot even with the deluxe bundle; it's not that much money for 3 games.

It's fun with the rpg element and the game dialogue is funny

They do have some sort of story line even if it's meant to be ridiculous

quizzes after every lesson to help you remember

the quizzes test you of previous lessons not only the one you just finished

They sound out the hiragana for you and also show how you write hiragana.

They give you options to go through the lesson again if needed.

They teach you japanese words and how to pronounce them.

Cons

They try to cram a lot into each lesson after lesson 1, as someone who's neurodivergent it's very draining. They should have kept teaching each group of hiragana per lesson instead of cramming in also the dakuten/ten-ten versions of the group too. Lesson 3 has japanese words, new hiragana group and the hiragana group with dakuten/ten-ten. It drains a lot of energy making you too tired to play and you must do a quiz when you're already tired. They should keep the lessons short and just make the game longer instead.

You need a notebook and pen for the lessons, or atleast a computer program to take notes on where you can write out the letters, it can be hard for someone who doesn't have those.

You have to pay for the handbook for every corresponding game, it's not a lot but it feels like the notebooks should be included in the deluxe bundle.

The walking and running speed is slow, the running speed feels like normal walking than running.

That's what I have so far if anyone has suggestions of games to help to learn japanese either on the nintendo ds, 3ds, switch or pc let me know, I am okay with kids games that's honestly what I'm looking for kid games that teaches children letters and how to count. Because they use very simple japanese with no dialect

#muffin babblar #muffin learns japanese

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rpgsandbox · 5 years

Link

THIS BOOK IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS

This is no ordinary book. There are monsters inside! Yes, you got that right. Monsters exist and live with us. But don't be afraid, they aren't bad... at least not entirely.

Have you ever noticed that you might be missing socks or that you hear strange noises in the dead of night? You aren't absent-minded nor do the pipelines make noises. They're the Monsters of Darkness! But don't panic because there are brave detectives whose job is to catch them so they will stop bothering you. They are none other than the Monster Detectives.

What? Did I get that right? You want to be a detective too? Then this is your book! With Little Monster Detectives you can create a team with your friends and catch the monsters that scare you at night. Solve mysteries, get to know the Monsters of Darkness and prove how brave you are. But above all prepare to live a bunch of adventures and have a great time!

Welcome to the Monster Detectives Agency!

Little Monster Detectives is a Pen and Paper Roleplaying Game for kids. The game is about the Monster Detective Agency, children and grownups that investigate mysterious monster mischief. With simple and scalable rules and different game modes, Little Monster Detectives wishes to be the first roleplaying game for your kids.

The project's main goal is to obtain the necessary funds in order to print an English version and to share our excitement for this game with English-speaking kids and adults. Furthermore, this will be the first translation from the Spanish RPG publishing house Nosolorol. We want to share our game with players from all around the world.

Little Monster Detectives is a storytelling game. That is to say, it's a game where players create a story with their actions and the decisions they make during the game. When the game is over, the players will have created a new story where they have been the stars and creators. They choose the path to follow and what to do at every moment.

Just like other RPGs, this game encourages teamwork, there isn't a winner or loser, and you want to achieve the general well-being of the group. You learn to share, to respect others, to solve problems and to boost your imagination.

How to discover a monster!

Little Monster Detectives is a bestseller in Spain, with thousands of copies sold, and it has also been published in France as a huge success. Many roleplaying gamers of both countries are parents who love to play Little Monster Detectives with their children!

Little Monster Detectives is a game for children. Specifically, it’s a game to play with children. You love reading stories to your kids and you know how they like to question other aspects of the story and imagine different outcomes for the characters. They want to be involved in the story, change the ending and imagine what will happen next. Children are natural-born roleplaying gamers!

You can play Little Monster Detectives with children that are 5 or older. Of course, the game offers different rules and game mechanics to play with the youngest ones, who tend to have a short attention span and limited numeric comprehension. Older children, on the other hand, can take the role of Senior Detective (the Game Master of Little Monster Detectives) and guide their younger siblings and friends throughout the game.

This roleplaying game is mostly intended for children who are afraid of monsters that hide in houses. To help these children overcome their fears, we’ve created a game where they are the stars and they get to decide when and how they face these monsters.

Little Monster Detectives stimulates deductive thinking through the use of clues. Monsters always leave behind mischievous clues at the scene of the crime. Detectives must go there and investigate what happened. They will have to deduce which monster it is by finding clues and figure out the best way to catch the monster so it will stop causing trouble.

The use of star points and banners as a reward for good behavior and fair play (and of course, just for fun) is an aspect of the game that children love. These items are stickers that kids can put on their character sheets or wherever they want. This game promises we want to help with improve children's confidence and self-image.

The book itself is a guiding tool throughout the game. Little Detectives must look for monster information, tools and other information in the book and, this way, we can also work on their reading skills and encourage their love for books.

Little Monster Detectives is really easy to play, but the first times you play the game you might need a grownup’s help to play as senior detective.

You can see the sample pages by downloading the PDF of this link: http://bit.ly/LMD_Samples

What do you need?

3 six-sided dice

Detective contracts!

Monster tokens

A pencil and paper

Knickknacks and other stuff to dress up like a detective!

Are you the senior detective?

Then you are the Game Master in Little Monster Detectives. This is what you will have to do:

Help beginner detectives fill out their detective contract (Don’t worry, it’s really easy).

Choose the monster! You can create one with help from the book, choose one or roll 3 six-sided dice.

Read about the monster carefully (or define it) and think if you have to catch it, help it or find something it has lost. What could happen? If it’s a monster from the book, the pages will help you figure it out.

If you’re going to play sitting at a table, a map of the house might be a good idea. You can improvise one and draw it while the detectives explore it. If you’re not going to play at a table, you can direct it like a live action roleplaying game in your house or in any other safe location. The youngest detectives love to explore and run around!

Help the detectives by describing what is happening, about the clues they find or helping them solve situations. You will also have to set the pace of the game! And don’t forget about giving them a small scare.

Rolling the dice

When beginner detectives want to do something that has an uncertain outcome but is relevant to the storyline, they will have to roll 3 six-sided dice and take the average result, from lowest to highest. This depends on the situation, the help they are getting, the tools they have and if they are frightened. Normally, it’s enough to get a 4 or more.

Most children by age 3 won’t have trouble reading dice. From the age of 4, kids usually know how to order them and recognize which one is the lowest, the medium and the highest value. By the age of 5 they can read letters and a few syllables and by the age of 6 many can read the book and discover things about monsters on their own.

Fear-rate, Clues and Scares

As detectives find clues, they can solve them or link them to a little monster, which will help them avoid fear. If this isn’t so, the fear-rate will rise in the house and it will be easier for the detectives to be frightened when something strange happens. They can avoid fear by rolling the dice; it can be done with help from the rest of the group or Teddy the Super Stuffed Toy :)

Clues and scares are usually linked to the monsters. The Closet Monster has the habit of biting clothes, while the Attic and Basement Monster hides the broomsticks because he doesn’t like them one bit. With these clues and “The Book of the Monsters of Darkness”, detectives can figure out who is causing all this trouble!

Star points

Detectives will win banners related to their achievements, like the medal of courage, and stars that they can exchange for tools in the Agency. These will help them out in some situations!

Kickstarter campaign ends: Wed, October 23 2019 1:18 PM BST

Website: Nosolorol

#RPG #kickstarter #Little Monster Detectives #Nosolorol

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