Tumgik
#I just... didn't think I had bought so much into the idea that we were going to be single together you know?
hayakawalove · 3 days
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I'd Wait For You
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Summary: Everything is perfect between you and Suguru. It could not get any better. The universe has a funny way of doing things though. How do you cope once Suguru gets taken away from you? Will Suguru be able to move onto the afterlife, or will he stay by your side? A/N: I wanted to try my hand at writing angst. Haven't done it too much. Please ignore the inaccuracies of the medicine, it won't be perfect. Comments always appreciated!
CW: SFW, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death (not reader), Grief/Mourning, Afterlife, Depression, Medical, Car Accidents, Sad, Fucked up but honestly not too bad
W/C: 6,584
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Suguru hadn’t known love until he first met you. 
Everything that led up to you was somehow minuscule compared to the emotions that coursed through his veins whenever he saw you. He wasn’t aware of how fast a heart could beat, how his lungs could falter from merely being in the presence of another person. He wasn’t even quite sure what he’d done to achieve someone like you. We were made for each other, you always told him. In his opinion, he believed he was made for you. Crafted and designed to love you. Not because you needed to have someone like him, but because he needed someone like you. Someone to care for and love.
It was your birthday, and just like he had done every year before this, Suguru was planning on making your dinner. He liked doing it, it made him feel like he was doing something right. It was the least he could do for you, after everything you’ve done for him. He thinks you don’t even know the half of it. 
“Shit.” Suguru murmurs under his breath as he searches the freezer. He could have sworn he bought the meat for tonight, but it was nowhere to be found. 
“Did you find it yet?” He hears your voice call from the couch. 
He doesn’t really have the heart to tell you that no, he hadn’t found it. His lip twitches as he pushes aside all the useless ingredients, looking in places he had already checked three times over. 
Suguru is so focused on the fridge in front of him that he doesn’t even hear your feet padding into the kitchen. 
Tender hands wrap around him from behind, yanking him from his despair. When he looks over his shoulder he sees you behind him, peeking over with curious eyes. 
“I'm sorry baby.” He speaks quietly, turning around to the fridge again. 
He shuts the freezer and faces you, taking you into his arms. It’s nice like this, having you pushed up against him. It makes him feel like he’s protecting you. 
“What’re you sorry for?” You ask. 
You reach your hands up and place a palm on either side of his face. Your mouth drops open as you hold him. 
“Suguru, you’re freezing.” You scold. “How long were you looking in there?” 
He hadn’t realized how cold he was until your warm fingers pressed into his cheek. He nuzzles against you and allows his lids to flutter closed, indulging in the warmth you provide. 
“Only a little bit.” He says. He would rather die than tell you he’s been here for ten minutes. 
“No luck though, huh?” You don’t seem sad when you ask this, and Suguru can’t figure out why. 
He feels like he ruined your birthday. 
“Unfortunately no, but I’m gonna go head down to the store to pick it up. I shouldn’t be gone long.” 
“I don’t want you to go, though!” 
You have an exaggerated frown playing on your lips as you tug his arm. 
“Baby, you need food. I promise it’ll be-“ 
“Why don’t we go out to eat?” You propose. 
He’s looking at you with raised brows, watching partly in amusement. It wasn’t an awful idea, but he much rather preferred to cook for you himself. It was like a gift that way, although he bought you plenty of those too. He nearly felt giddy at the idea of how you would react to each present, all hiding in various places around the house. You always told him he didn't have to get you anything, so he had to get creative in his hiding spots.
“What, you hate my cooking?” He jokes, pulling back to straighten your clothes. 
At first you would snap at him when he mindlessly groomed you like this, but you had gotten used to it. It was just another avenue for him to show his love, fixing your attire like a mother would.
“Ugh, it’s the worst!” You joke back. 
Both of you were well aware of how much you loved his cooking. 
“A shame.” He murmurs. 
“We never go out, it’s been ages since we’ve gone somewhere nice. Don’t you think it would be fun? That way, you wouldn’t have to slave over the stove for me.” 
“But what if I want to slave over the stove for you?” 
“There will always be another time.” You squeeze his arm. 
You’re right. He can always do it for you for your next birthday. 
“If you say so.” Suguru presses his lips against yours. 
~~~
It’s a chilly night, the black sky above you providing no heat as you head out of the restaurant. You’re cradling your stomach as if you were 8 months pregnant, while one of your arms is wrapped around his. You’re chattering his ears off, but Suguru doesn’t mind. The night felt perfect, he wasn’t sure how it could get any better. 
The two of you are making your way to your parked car, not in a rush. You have all the time in the world. You’re strumming his hand as you talk, only letting go when he pulls your door open for you.
Suguru crosses the car and slides into the driver's seat, not backing out until your seat belt is on. The drive is calming, your windows rolled down to let in the night air as you quietly sing along to the radio.
“Was it a good birthday?” Suguru asks, tossing a look your way before focusing on the road. 
“It was perfect.” You promise, your eyes twinkling.
Suguru starts to think about which gift he wants you to open first.
“Hey Suguru?” You ask.
“Yeah?” Suguru looks up from the wheel to see your face. 
Your brows are furrowed together as you look forward. Something wasn’t right.
“What is that guy doing?” You speak quietly.
Suguru turns his head forward, his foot on the brake as the car sits at a red light. There’s another car in front of you, driving towards you. He isn’t slowing down for the light, and Suguru can feel his pulse pick up. 
“I don’t-“ Suguru starts. 
The driver presses on the gas even harder, his car jerking, now hurdling in your direction. Suguru only has half a second to throw his arm across your front, shoulder covering part of your body.
Love makes you do crazy things. 
Love can make you feel unstoppable. 
Love can make you cover your partner in a car accident without a second thought. 
The movies never get it right, Suguru thinks. People always talk about the pain, how much it hurts. But Suguru doesn’t feel pain. He doesn’t feel anything. He wishes it was more accurate, that way he could have been prepared. 
It was loud, so loud. 
Metal on metal, tires screeching. It also smelled. Gas, fire, and burning something. Was it plastic? He had never smelled something so atrocious. Suguru turns his head to locate you and sees you motionless, your beautiful lids fluttered shut. Is that blood? Something’s reflecting on your forehead and he hopes to god it’s not blood. 
He attempts to say your name, but nothing comes out. It’s as if his voice box has been completely removed, leaving a gaping hole in his throat. His fingers twitch as he tries to move to help you. 
Move, move. 
He’s begging his useless body to do something, anything. It’s never cooperated with him, lest of all when he needs it most. 
Suguru thinks he hears yelling. Was that a woman? It’s a voice he’s never heard before, and she’s saying something he can’t quite decipher. His head is spinning as he tries to focus on the voice, but it isn't easy. It's all becoming overwhelming, each of his senses being amplified. The sight and sound alone was enough to leave him breathless.
Red lights. 
Cops. 
No, not cops. 
An ambulance. 
He hopes it’s an ambulance. You really needed one.
Suguru tries to focus as he strains his ears to listen for your breathing. He could feel his eyelids get heavier and heavier, his sheer willpower being the only thing keeping him awake. There’s more tires screeching and the ambulance has arrived, heavy footfalls running to your car. 
Good.
Good.
Help is here.
It would all be alright. 
Everything would be fine.
~~~
When his eyes open, he sees white. He must have been in a hospital, the clinical setting surrounding him. No one was in his room. Not even you. You were in worse shape from what he remembers, so he understands. 
He isn’t in as much pain as he would’ve expected from being in a car accident, but he’s glad. Suguru looks down and wiggles his fingers, then his toes. Good. He isn’t missing anything. He knows you would’ve taken care of him if he was missing something, but he would rather soon die than make you do something like that. 
Suguru sits up and notices he isn’t attached to any monitors, which is odd. He figures he probably didn’t need them though, so he quickly pushes the thought aside. He might as well look for you since he was able. You could have been really hurt, and he wouldn’t have been able to rest until he learned where you were. 
The hospitals halls are a scary place, even for Suguru. He knows many great things happen in hospitals, but there’s also a lot of tragedy too. He tries not to think about all the death as he walks down the halls. There are nurses and doctors pushing past him, paying him no mind. They were busy. He could see it in their droopy eyes as they locate room numbers and run to codings. 
He finds the nurses station and speaks up, finding two women sitting at the desks. 
“Excuse me?” He says. 
Nothing. 
Weird. 
“Uh, I’m looking for someone.” 
Suguru says your name, but neither of them turn to him. 
Okay, maybe they were too engrossed in their conversation. 
His eyes flick down where he sees a chart, and at the very top of the list was your name. Room A93. That wasn’t too far from here. 
He spares them one last glance before turning around to locate your room. His heart flutters (not in the good way) when he gets closer to the door. Could he handle seeing you hooked up to a million monitors? Could he handle seeing other people take care of you? Suguru pushes through it. He needs to see you. He comes to a stop outside your room and hears voices coming from inside, talking to you. 
“And where is Suguru?” He picks up on your voice, the sound instantly warming his heart. 
“He’s… not in good shape.” 
He wasn’t? 
He felt great. 
Suguru pokes his head around the door and finds a tall woman with tanned skin and long dark hair. She must be the doctor. 
“What do you mean?” You ask.
The doctor straightens, tired eyes looking up at you. 
“He was intubated, he lost a lot of blood and sustained a head injury. My team had to put him in a medically induced coma. I actually was coming here to talk to you about whether or not he wanted to be on life support.” 
What? 
“I'm sorry, what are you talking about?” Your body is turned towards her, anticipation leaking from your pores.
“You’re married, aren’t you? I trust that the two of you have gone over it?” 
You haven't looked his way, not even once. 
“Let me see him.” You’re sitting up, wobbling as your frail body attempts to hold you up. 
You don’t see him right now? 
“I'm not sure that’s a good idea.” The doctor comments, her voice heavy as if she knows something you don’t. 
“Please.” 
The doctor softly sighs and dips her head once, acknowledging your desperation. She relents, aiding you in getting up. You can’t do it on the first try, your face wincing in pain as you ease yourself off the bed. The doctor is patient as she helps you, because of course she is.
Suguru follows you to his room, throat dry as he stares at the IV stand in your hands. What was happening? 
“Suguru?” His heart shatters at the way your voice cracks. 
He turns the door and comes to a halt behind you, looking over your shoulder. He was looking at himself. His motionless body was laying in the hospital bed, looking more helpless than he had ever felt in his whole life. 
“What happened?” You ask, your eyes never leaving his bed.
“There was an accident. I was told that he took the brunt of the crash to cover you. He’s not…” The doctor looks anxiously between you and him. “I don’t think he’s going to make it.” 
The room is quiet, eerily so as you process the news the doctor gave you. There’s a steady beeping sound coming from behind his body, the only sign of life. By all accounts, he looked dead. Suguru flicks his eyes up and notices a brain monitor attached to him, but the line was flat. How was that possible? Was he in some space between life and death right now? 
You rip the IV from your arm and run up to the bed, collapsing beside his body. Suguru can see blood begin to pool from your forearm, dark red trickling down your wrist as you force yourself against his bed.
“Suguru! Wake up!” You’re shaking his body, voice trembling and loud as tears begin to fall from your eyes. 
He doesn’t wake up. His useless body doesn’t even flinch.
“You asshole! Wake up!” You’re in hysterics as you shake him, and Suguru feels himself choke on a tear. 
“We need to discuss-“ The doctor starts.
“Don’t do this to me! You gotta wake up!” 
Suguru is beside you now, standing above your crumbled form. You’ve never looked so small before. Your tears are staining the sheets beside his body as you hold his hand, your other arm clawing at his chest. Suguru can’t tell which hurts more, watching himself or looking at you. 
He needs to comfort you. 
He needs to make you smile. 
But he can’t. He can’t do anything. Suguru is forced to stand by your side as you cry until you lose your voice, until all of your words blur together and no one can understand what you’re saying. 
The doctor stays with you the entire time, remaining quiet as you sob. She wanted to comfort you, but she also needed an answer. And the truth of the matter was, Suguru never wanted to be on life support. It was a discussion you had early on in your marriage. He didn't want to be a burden. You respected his decision at the time, never in a million years thinking you would have to uphold his choice.
~~~
It’s raining the day they pull the plug on Suguru. He always did like the rain. It made for perfect nights in with a warm drink and his favorite book. Obviously with you by his side. That’s not what he’s thinking about when he sees the sky the day he dies. All he can think about is how your tears match the droplets, how god must be crying for you. He hated it. You said it was fitting. It was one of the only things you said on that day.
Suguru watches as his body gets whisked away, he told himself he couldn’t watch the embalming process, but when it happens he can’t look away. It felt unreal. His body was cold to the touch, pale as it lay on the metal table. He didn't look real. He watches with curious eyes as they pump him full of fluids in an attempt to immortalize his youth and beauty. He overhears the morticians talking. Not even thirty years old, they mumble. All Suguru can think about is how you weren’t even thirty. The word ‘widow’ was meant for older people whose partners died in natural circumstances, not for someone like yourself. Plump cheeks and a full life ahead of you.
It’s sunny when his funeral is held. He’s glad for that, he dreaded the idea of you waiting out in the cold. You sit in the front with Satoru. Suguru expected you to be a wreck, you were at the hospital after all. But you aren’t. You sit quietly as each person speaks, your chin tucked into your chest. Your eyes are glassy as you listen. You were checked out. He wanted to take a peek into your brain to see what memory you were reliving. Was it the time you both vacationed in the Bahamas? Or was it when you talked for hours about your favorite book? Those were his favorite memories, but he didn't know yours. He never thought to ask before. Now he wouldn’t have the chance to.
You refuse to let anyone help you make it home, I’m fine you said. You weren’t fine. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see that. All the people surrounding you tried to offer words of comfort, promises to help falling from their lips. You wave them off as you set off down the sidewalk towards your apartment. You hadn’t been in a car since the incident.
The second you close your front door you collapse onto your floor, your knees hitting the ground with a hard thud. You let out the most ear piercing wail. Suguru didn’t know people were capable of making noises like that. He didn’t have a body anymore, but he swore he felt chills creep over his skin. 
You keep screaming, and screaming, and screaming. Suguru hears a loud pounding and turns his head to the door. Someone was here. The pounding resumes and he hears his best friend call out, trying to get your attention. You aren’t listening. You don’t care about anything outside these four walls. 
Satoru twists the knob hoping by some miracle it would unlock. Unfortunately, you had the foresight to lock the door before falling to pieces. Satoru relents in using the knob and tries bumping the door with his shoulder. It takes him a couple of tries before it splinters open. He's out of breath as he looks down at your figure. Your crumpled figure. 
Leave it to Satoru to follow you to ensure you got home safely. Suguru tells himself to repay Satoru, buy him that soda he likes, but then he remembers. He will never be able to repay him for anything again. 
He hopes a token of his gratitude is enough. 
You don’t register that Satoru is even there until he’s kneeling beside you, holding your body close to his. You thrash a bit, shoving him back but he doesn’t budge. Satoru takes it all, even though it hurts. 
“Hey, hey, I’m here.” He murmurs quietly to you. 
“He's gone! He's gone!” You’re heaving into the air, letting him rock you back and forth. 
“I know. I know.” 
“He's never coming back, Satoru!” 
You breathe in deeply, your chest sore from the meltdown. 
“Bring him back! Please, please Satoru!” 
Satoru grits his jaw as he holds you tight. It must be hard. Suguru mourns the loss of himself through you. He can feel the pain you’re in, it feels like a forest fire as it claws into him. 
You’re scratching at Satoru, as if you could dig your way back to Suguru.
Suguru has never felt so helpless before. How do you help someone when they’re mourning the loss of the love of their life? How do you console them when they will never see them again? How could he make you feel better? 
He can’t do anything. He's an outsider in his own home, watching the people who were closest to him.
Satoru grips you as you sob, occasionally rocking your frame back and forth. He doesn’t say anything. There really isn't anything to say. The living room quiets down as your screaming becomes sniffling. Suguru doesn’t know how much time has passed. Satoru refuses to let go until he feels your breathing slow down, your body going limp in his hold. 
Satoru never leaves. He just sets you on your bed before making his way to the couch. He looks just as fucked up as you do. Suguru doesn’t think he’s ever seen his friend in such a bad state before. Eyes that had previously been so bright were now dull, his lips tugged down into a deep frown. Satoru slides onto the couch, his eyes shutting the second he makes contact. 
Suguru takes turns watching the two of you sleep. It breaks his heart. Never again will he feel the warmth of your sleeping figure beside him. Never again will he wake up before you to start your breakfast. 
Things are awkward between you and Satoru in the morning. Neither of you know how to approach the subject. 
Satoru is the first to talk. He always was the talker. 
“Good morning.” 
Your eyes flick to him, almost as if you were expecting him to stay the night. Satoru looks uncomfortable, which is a first. 
“I uh, I'm gonna pick up breakfast. Do you want anything?” He goes on.
A moment passes before you speak. When your voice comes out it's brittle, harsh in a way Suguru has never heard before. 
“I'm fine.” 
The hours of screaming must have caught up to you. 
“Yeah, alright.”
Satoru is scratching the back of his neck, a tell that Suguru learned years ago. He has something to say, but doesn’t know how to say it. 
“I really think you should eat something.”
“Satoru.” 
Satoru steps back as if the tone of your voice wounded him. 
“Okay. I’ll back off. I’ll bring back something for you to drink at least.” 
Satoru doesn’t ask so you don’t have the chance to deny him. You watch as he exits your apartment, your gaze fixed on your broken door.
Satoru calls repairmen to handle the door while he’s out. It doesn’t take them long at all to fix the damage he dulled out the prior night. 
When Satoru comes back he has two drinks and two bags in his hands. He bought something for you to eat in the end. Satoru rings the doorbell and waits for you. 
You never come. 
He knows you’re home, because where else would you be? 
He stands there for thirty minutes before he takes the hint that you don’t want to be seen. 
Suguru wishes he could curl up in on himself at the sight of his best friend looking so dejected as he leaves. Satoru was making an effort. Suguru doesn’t blame you though. He never could. If he was in your position, Suguru wouldn’t stop until the whole world around him was burned to the ground, he wouldn’t stop until there was nothing left.
Satoru comes back hours later to drop off dinner and notices that the bag of breakfast he left for you is still in the same place. You hadn’t touched it. He leaves dinner for you as well, hoping by some chance that you’ll actually eat something.
~~~
Satoru stands at your door, a bag in his hands as he tries to keep up a smile. Suguru can tell it’s a hard task, he’s always been able to look right through his best friend. 
It had been two weeks since the funeral, and Satoru has stopped by every single day.
Satoru says your name again, rocking back on his heels. He’s been here for two hours. Suguru knows because he’s seen him check his phone five times. One of your neighbors comes out and greets Satoru, smiling once he gives her attention. The two had been acquainted because he had visited so often. Satoru didn’t mean to seduce the older woman, but it just came with the territory of being a beautiful man. 
“Hey Ms. Nakamoto!”
“Hello sweetie.” 
“I brought you something.” Satoru searches the bag he’s holding and produces a wrapped piece of chocolate. 
Suguru knows Satoru didn’t bring it for her, but that he couldn't bear the thought of not giving her something.
“You’re so kind, Satoru.” Ms. Nakamoto squeezes Satoru’s shoulder before walking off, popping the chocolate in her mouth. 
Satoru watches her leave with a smile plastered on his face. It feels genuine in the same way a waitress's smile is genuine when she’s working.
“Are you gonna let me in?” Satoru calls, resting his shoulder against the door.
You’re standing on the other side of the door, staring into the wood as if you’d be able to see Satoru if you look hard enough. 
Suguru doesn’t understand why would don’t want to see Satoru. 
He wonders if it’s because Satoru reminds you of him. Suguru would understand, the two have always been inseparable. It was never that way for you, though. You never saw Satoru and thought of Suguru in the past. It was one of the many things he liked about you. He felt like he could be his own person around you. He wonders if the lines are blurred now that he was gone.
“I know you’re there.” Satoru says, leaning against his forearm. 
“Why won’t you let me in?” He waits for a moment until you respond. 
“I don’t want to.” 
“I brought snacks.” 
“I don’t care.” 
Suguru’s heart breaks. You look like a mess, your hair was piled on top of your head and you were wearing the same clothes you had been wearing yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. It was one of Suguru’s shirts, the clothing wrapped around your body as if it was a cocoon. You had been wearing it for so long that the smell of his cologne was starting to fade away. You cried for four hours the night you realized.
Neither of you talk or move for that matter, intent on waiting it out to see who would break first. You have something on your mind, Suguru can tell you’re holding back. 
“Why did he do it?” You ask, your voice muffled through the door. 
You know Suguru as much as Satoru does, but Suguru supposes there’s a sense of relief from the company. 
“You know why he did it. He loved you.” Satoru responds, his voice more level than Suguru had ever heard it. 
“He wouldn’t have been able to stand himself if he didn’t save you.” Satoru finishes. 
You and Satoru both turn around and slide your backs against the door till your butts hit the floor. 
You’re separated by a piece of wood, yet it feels like you’re miles away. Even though you felt so far apart, the two of you were the only ones on the planet who understood each other. 
“He’s selfish.” You say, and Suguru thinks you mean to have a bite to it, but it comes off much more heartbroken. 
“What makes him selfish?” 
“He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he let me die, so he’s making me live without him instead. Why didn’t he care that it would hurt me?” You question.
Satoru’s silent as he listens. He’s good at that, although he talks a lot. Suguru is glad you have someone to talk to who listens when you need it.
“I think he did care.” Satoru says, looking at his legs. “He just loved you too much to stop himself.”
“It was my fault, you know.” You start. 
“I was the one who suggested going out.”
Satoru is silent as he listens and Suguru feels like he’s been shot. You were blaming yourself? If Suguru could talk to you, he would reassure you that you had nothing to do with what happened. 
“It wasn’t your fault.” Satoru says, unsure of how else to comfort you. 
Nothing he could say would take the pain away, he was aware of that much. 
Suguru is on your side of the door, watching as your lip starts to tremble. You must be sick of being alone. You slowly stand up and reach for the door, opening it much to Satoru’s surprise. He nearly falls back before hopping to his feet, facing you.
“Do you want to come in?” You ask, knowing the answer.
~~~
Ever since the night you let Satoru in, you welcome him in. Suguru thinks it's nice, watching the two of you talk. He’s glad you’re opening up to someone. It’s not good to keep it all in, and Suguru couldn’t stand the idea of you shutting down completely. 
In the beginning, Satoru would sit on the furthest end of the couch, but over time he slowly inched closer until the two of you were sitting next to each other. It didn't matter what you talked about. It was always different. Usually it was about Suguru. 
“He waited until the sun set and it was dark out. I didn't really understand why. Anyway, he got on one knee and when I turned around he had the ring out.”
“It was because of the people I’m sure. Suguru was a private guy.” 
You’re picking at a loose thread on the couch, quietly listening to Satoru. 
“I helped him pick out the ring, you know. He was so indecisive. There were two options we narrowed it down to, he ended up asking all your friends what they thought you would like more.” 
Suguru sees your shoulders shake and he thinks for a second you’re crying, but when you lift your head up he sees a tiny grin on your face. 
“He’s ridiculous. Would’ve loved anything he got.” 
“I know. He only wanted the best, though.”
Suguru loves to listen to the two of you talk, but he loves the silence you share just as much. Satoru always used to dread silence. Suguru thinks you’re bringing him down to earth. It’s nice. Suguru didn't think it was possible. 
“It’s hard. I can't sleep.” You confess to Satoru late at night.
“Why is that?” Satoru asks, but you know he knows the answer. 
“It’s impossible without him.” 
You aren’t aware, but Suguru is there each time you lay down. Sometimes he’ll lay beside you, but he rarely does. You always get a chill when he tries, so instead he sits across the room, listening to your breathing. He’s always loved the sound, but he finds he appreciates it more so now. 
“If you ever need company, I could spend the night on the couch again.” 
“Really?” 
You’re trying not to sound eager, Suguru can tell. He grins to himself as he watches your face light up. 
“I'd just have to bring over spare clothes, but I can.” 
People on the outside may think that something was blossoming between you and Satoru, but Suguru knew better. Satoru would never cross that line. At times, Suguru almost wished he would. He wanted you to find happiness again. And truly, who better to give it than Satoru? The two were so alike that Suguru knew you would be happy. But you wouldn’t do that to Satoru. You wouldn’t want him to feel like a placeholder. Suguru doesn’t know how Satoru feels, but he knows how you feel enough to be positive that nothing was starting between you. 
Satoru sleeps on your couch that night. Suguru notices it’s the first time you’ve slept through the entire night in weeks. You don’t wake up even once, not even when Suguru slides into bed beside you. 
Suguru keeps his eyes on you the whole night, mesmerized by the features on your face. You were so beautiful. He should’ve told you more often. 
~~~
It was going okay. Suguru thought you were healing. One night you have a terrible nightmare. He watches you in horror as you thrash and scream, wishing he could reach out to touch you. 
“Help! Help!”
Satoru is in your room moments later, holding your body against his. You twitch in his hold, body shaking in fear. Your eyes flutter open and you have to hold onto Satoru for several moments before you understand where you are. 
“It was just a dream.” Satoru speaks quietly to you.
Tears are streaming down your cheeks once you understand what’s happening. You have a tight grip on Satoru’s arms, as if they could keep you from floating away. 
“I was- Suguru, he, we needed,” 
“It was just a dream.” Satoru says once more.
It wasn’t a dream, not really. It was the accident. The scenes were flashing in your brain, plaguing you with memories. Suguru wishes it was a dream. The worst was already over, only now you were left trying to pick up the pieces.
Satoru sleeps on your floor each night afterward. Always beside the bed, ready in case you have another nightmare. No matter what, he never leaves. 
Each time you had a nightmare, Satoru would reach his hand up and squeeze yours, reminding you that the worst part was over. He pretends not to see the scars your fingernails leave in his skin.
~~~
Suguru watches as you experience life. Finding your first gray hair, he was even there when you bought your first new car. They were all things he should have been experiencing with you, if only he was alive. 
If you asked Suguru the day he died if he regretted his decision to cover you in the accident, he would say no in an instant. It was the same now, all these years later. 
You never move on from him, not really at least. There were men that passed through your life, but you never marry again. 
Suguru wanted you to find love again, but you were always more stubborn than he knew what to do with.
And when the time came for you to pass, he was there too. The hospital room didn't feel the same as his did, yours was much more warm and happy. That was what it was supposed to be like when you lived a full life. All of your loved ones gathered around you, crying as they held you. You don’t cry. You’re ready. You’ve been preparing for it for a while now. You have weathered skin and a full heart. You have smile lines now, and Suguru thinks you’ve never looked more perfect. 
Suguru stands by the door, watching as everyone says their goodbyes. He feels tears begin to drip from his eyes. He knows it only means he gets to see you sooner, but he’s mourning your death just as much as he would if he was alive. He wanted you to continue living. You still had so much to experience, Suguru wanted you to have it all. 
The last member of your family leaves the room, but you have one visitor left. The doctor smiles at the visitor before pulling the door closed behind the two of you, giving you privacy. 
“Thank you, darling.” Satoru says, smiling at her. 
The door shuts and Satoru is hobbling over to you, lowering himself down next to your bed. He's in relatively good condition for someone of his age. 
“Hello.” He squeezes your hand, if Suguru looks close enough he can still see the crescent shaped marks caused by your nails on his hands. 
Scars proving your love of Suguru on another man’s body. 
“You’re here.” You speak.
“Of course I’m here.” 
The room is silent as Satoru takes in your presence. The air is heavy, partly from sadness, but also from the memories and love everyone had left you with. You had lived a long life. 
“Are you excited to see him?” Satoru asks. 
You look down and fiddle with your ring, the same ring Suguru had picked out all those years ago. 
“I am.” 
“When you see him tell him I said hi.” Satoru could say much more than that, maybe even a joke from his childhood, but more than anything he just missed his friend.
“I will, I swear.” 
“I can’t believe the two of you are going before me.” Satoru’s messing with you now, Suguru walks closer so he can catch the glint in Satoru’s eyes. 
“Don’t you worry, your time is coming.” You chuckle to yourself. 
“Is that a threat?” Satoru leans in close to you, the act intimate in a way that only appears between friends that have endured years of life together.
“Maybe. I think I’m going to haunt you for the rest of your life.” You tease.
“I hope you do.” Satoru’s tone is heavier as he speaks, a nugget of honesty leaking through. 
“Thank you for being so good to me Satoru, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you as much as you were there for me.” Regret is dripping from your words.
“I know you’re dying, but have you gone senile? You helped me as much as I helped you.” Satoru looks at you in disbelief. 
It was true. You had helped Satoru. It wasn’t in the same way he helped you, but instead you provided him multiple chances to relive his childhood. That was worth more than anything in the world to Satoru.
Satoru rubs his thumb along your hand. He sits with you through the silence. He's there with you as the doctor comes back in, voice soft as she asks you if you’re ready. You are, you have been for a long time. Satoru holds your hand, he doesn’t leave as the doctor turns off all the technology that’s assisting you in staying alive. 
Suguru would stay, but he has a date he can’t miss.
When you die, everything is empty around you. Your old body is inching by, walking aimlessly. 
“Sweetheart.” A voice like velvet fills your ears.
You whip around, jaw and eyes wide open as you come face to face with the love of your life. 
“Suguru!” You cry. 
Suguru’s smile is relaxed on his face as he walks up to you, embracing you once more. He could finally touch you. He had been dreaming of this moment for years. 
The second his skin hits yours, it's like a ripple effect. Your skin slowly rejuvenates, your body regressing until it resembles what it looked like the night he died. You were young again. 
Suguru holds you for what feels like eternity before you pull away. He tries not to frown, reminding himself that he can touch you again whenever he feels like it now. 
“I missed you!” Your lash line is holding on a thin thread, tears welling up, nearly pouring out. 
Suguru doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t think he can put into words how much he missed you. 
“Oh, and Satoru said-“
“Hi, I know. I heard him.” Suguru reaches a hand up and skims your cheek with his thumb.
He no longer feels cold.
“You heard him? You were there?”
“Of course I was. I always was.” 
Suguru chuckles to himself at the expression on your face. It's a shock, for sure. You had no reason to believe he stayed with you. Suguru could have moved on at any point in time, but he wouldn’t. Not without you by his side.
“I love you.” He says it the same way he used to say it, and you finally break down. 
Tears stream down your face as you pull him in for a kiss. 
“Come on, let’s make up for all the lost time.” Suguru murmurs in your ear, wrapping his arm around yours.
Tag List: @tojislittleprincesss, @dinolvrrr, @kimi01985, @mikisspeak, @sakui1, @reiluvr, @gothicwhore666, @bunviixo
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deepspaceclawstation · 10 months
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I feel so stupid rn
#I forgot that I (am allowed to) exist the way I do because of a fortuitous combination of many factors#and that just because *I* can ignore the societal pressure to marry (and reproduce ig) doesn't mean other people are similarly fortunate#It isn't their fault and they owe me nothing. I understand that.#I just... we talked about this#We didn't make concrete plans or promises or anything solid but#we made jokes about moving in together in the same house with separate rooms#And ranted about how much we didn't want marriage and all it entails#and idk. It often felt like we were trying to go against the tide or something#When I heard the news I felt heartbroken yes but mostly I just felt... betrayed?#Like they were 'selling out' or 'giving in'#And let me clarify this is an arranged marriage that their relatives fixed for them. but also they said yes#And I just. don't get it#I expected them to hold out a little longer#and they told me. a MONTH before the date#A MONTH#I know I am making a huge deal out of it but idk it just hurts and I feel like shit and I feel like throwing a tantrum about it#I should clarify that I KNOW that I'm being irrational#My conceptualisation of the situation as them 'giving in' is ridiculous and unfair#I just... didn't think I had bought so much into the idea that we were going to be single together you know?#It's on me for daydreaming and reading into things#I wouldn't care so much if it was a love marriage situation or whatever coz I was prepared for that scenario#They are so so interesting and beautiful and clever and used to have so many admirers I thought it was only a matter of time#That would hurt but I'd live with it because whoever they chose would be worth it#But THIS??#I feel like a jilted lover despite being leagues away from being anything resembling a lover#I am being so self important right now like I know I wouldn't even have been a passing thought in their mind while deliberating on this#I feel like laughing at myself looking at this from an outside perspective#So stupid and acting so unreasonably#I'm channelling all my negative selfish irrational thoughts here because if I carry them with me irl I will explode#I haven't even cried about it really. I should cry about it it will make me feel better but I know that will trip off a spiral of self-pity
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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i LOVE stormblood (listening to some of the ost rn <3 i love all the expansions so very much. they all mean a lot to me <3)
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#i understand /why/ but it makes me really sad when i see ppl that don't appreciate stb :< it has its faults! yes. & a lot is preference but#it's still objectively good !!!! <3 on my behalf i love stb a lot though. help wait i realize how diverse my taste is from all the way from#traditional to. idk sci-fi and fantasy n music that also matches the vibe.... that said oh my god wait i love ffxiv's ost so much .#in stb i really love a father's pride :^) IT SOUNDS SO HOMEY.... & the ala mihgo ones r my favs too! salt & suffering. liberty or death#oh my god wait soken you genius i can;t do this. i love revolutions so much. i remember crying w the.. YEAH.... i love flowers :<#random but fun fact i used to go by the online alias of 'lily' way wayyy back. & then i've always been enthusiastic when it comes to#researching about things i'm interested about so. flower meanings !! i love that sm. idk why but that said i've always loved white flowers#the most. roses have always been my fave. & on the topic of roses i remember a lore i had for my wol with stormblood omg#apollo n i finally bought the game so we were out of free trial yeah? unlocks market board so i remember buying a lot of glams#i remember buying quite a lot of flowers but i. almost always just use the white rose (or the black one! or the hyacinths)#anyways i. i didn't have the rose on my wol for like the end of stormblood 😭 i was sad about that for a while bcs. lore.#i'm really specific about lore stuff !?! idk !?! but i had some ideas that oh! what if some blood got on it or wtvr. it's in my notes#i think hien had a part to do w it bcs i liked him a lot back then . why do i like leaders sm. alphi / aymeric / haurchefant / emet / herme#all of them have some sort of authority ???? & oh man i remember i've always loved the image of a white rose being tainted by red.#I DIDN'T MEAN TO RAMBLE SO MUCH BUT I LOVE FFXIV SO MUCH 🫶🏼#dude my discord profile looks so cool rn w my wol & my about me :] that line's from the description of the death summon gbf#nier. i like her honestly n oh god i love her song. vira too. another sky :< help i realize my faves are /often/ blue or red. purple too.#help wait stormblood orchestral music &. god i will never shut up about everything ffxiv it really has so much#azim steppe was sooo chill to go through. i love love it so much. temulun's lines too! ishikawa ily#& then with the patches :^) i started in ul'dah so. Emotional. yes. and then i love tsukuyomi. tsukuyomi....#i won't say anymore spoilers but sigh that tore me apart </3 i have sm more to write but oh my god TAGS but i love ffxiv so much damn#random & not in stormblood but i remember how hyped i was for ravana? the ost. THE OST. unbending steel's lyrics.... oh my god#I LOVE THE OST SO MUCH I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT AAAAAA i forgot abt that 3:13 part o hmy god HOLY FUCK#i feel alive again. overwhelmed with love. god i love this so fucking much thank you ffxiv i wna cry i love ffxiv so much 😭😭#thinking abt fordola :< & thinking of the wol's trauma gives me chills. & remembering as well of my own lore for my wol throughout this#the ost? the dialogue? the story? the characters? the pain oh my god i love how they express & do the storytelling so much#god this is what i mean when i say ffxiv naturally and immediately gives me inspiration. & motivation. i really really want to write#I'M EMOTIONAL. HFKJDAKFLSJLKDF the music n. oh my god everything just everything. ffxiv. ff. all of it
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giantkillerjack · 1 year
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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chuluoyi · 7 months
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✎ forever
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- gojo satoru x reader
the three times he asked you to marry him
genre: slightly suggestive, fluff/comfort, silly and lovesick gojo, wedding proposals, mild angst, mentions of injury and protective gojo
note: i was inspired by some fics with this kind of trope and i can totally see gojo asking you to marry him while he's dead drunk—
a part of gojo's love entries
series masterlist | oneshot masterlist
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"Why don't we get married?"
The first time Satoru brought this up was right after you both had exhausted yourselves in an intense, passionate lovemaking session.
His bare skin was against yours, and the intimacy of it almost made you want to go along with his suggestion, until you grasped the profound meaning behind his words.
"Satoru," you breathed out, still breathless as you came down from your high. "Are you seriously asking me that now?"
A dopey smile was on his face. "Yeah, is there a problem with it?"
You blinked. The nerve of this clown-head—
"Not even a proper proposal? Or a ring?" you scowled. "Considering your usual flair, this is a rather lackluster attempt at a proposal."
Of course, you weren't a material girl, but considering his big ego and tendency to go overboard, you just had to call him out.
"Hmm? So if there's a grand proposal and I bought you a ring, then you'll say yes?"
There was practically a twinkle in those bright eyes of his now, and you were a bit caught off guard because well, so he is for real?
You’d be lying if you said that the thought of marrying him hadn’t crossed your mind. But to be frank, Gojo Satoru didn't strike you as someone who was interested in anything as cliché as marriage and everything that comes with it.
Which brought you back to this point—you had absolutely no idea what possessed him to bring up this question.
"Hah," you let out a sardonic laugh. "Not that easy. I'll think about it."
When he let out a “Ehhh?”, and started sulking, you were quite sure, and dismissed the question as one of his passing whims.
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The second time he posed the question, he was a babbling, slurring mess of alcohol and hiccups.
"Can't we—hic!—" His face was flushed, and he was pitifully wobbling on his feet. "—just get married—hic!—already?"
This time you scoffed, partly out of disdain, crossing your arms in front of you. Satoru seemed to pick up on your unfavorable reaction and attempted to convince you. "I'm being—"
"No," you sternly interrupted, supporting him as he struggled to stay on his feet. You shot an unapologetic look at the other patrons in the bar who were watching you both with disapproving frowns. "Satoru, we're going home."
"I'm—hic!—asking you to marry me!"
"I said no."
"Why?!"
You sighed. "You're dead drunk."
"What will—hic—make you say yes?"
You let out another sigh. It already took a great deal of patience to deal with his immaturity as his girlfriend, and you could only imagine how much more challenging it would be as his wife.
"I'm so heartbroken," he whined, crocodile tears pooling in his eyes as he peered at you like a kicked puppy. "I got rejected twice already... How could you reject me twice?"
You rolled your eyes at his theatrics.
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"Marry me."
The third time around, he was neither bringing it up on a whim or drunk, also he wasn't quite asking—his tone was almost pleading.
And you just woke up from your comatose state after a mission gone wrong, still in your bloodied uniform, eyes barely adjusting to the bright room.
Satoru let out a grunt, clasping your fingers in his warm, reassuring grip. It was evident how deeply distressed he was from the furrowed brow and the quiver in his lips as he looked down at you, as well as the gentle way he was stroking your hair.
At this moment, you wanted to cry. The fact that he was so genuinely concerned for you filled you with warmth and emotion.
. . .
He saw it happen right before him—the crimson blood flowing out of your wound like waterfall. He had screamed at you to breathe and not let go of his hand. The moment he felt your head loll back in his arms and you lost your grip on him, he could swear his own heart had stopped too.
He had never been more grateful that you—his best friend, love of his life, the only one he had left—awoke from that horrifying ordeal. Seeing you stained red by your own blood had undoubtedly distorted his point of view, but his desire to marry you, as what he had been suggesting as of late, clearly was not just a mere passing thought.
Because he is acutely aware of how cruel this world is. This damned world has always taken everything that's important to him, and before they can snatch you away too, he will claim you as his first.
"Marry me," he repeated, his voice now sounding more hoarse, not as confident as it had been the first time.
As you gazed into his beautiful eyes, it occurred to your hazy mind that you very nearly died. That you were that close to not seeing him ever again. You had been apprehensive with how he had phrased his proposals so far, and you didn't want your marriage to be a split-second decision forced by some sort of looming omen.
And yet, falling in love with Gojo Satoru had never been the easiest, but you did anyway. He still held onto your hand, patiently awaiting your response—
—but suddenly, like a sharp whiplash effect, what shocked you was that who you saw then wasn't your boyfriend.
But rather, the man with the mantle of the strongest sorcerer alive.
You could lose him just as much as he could lose you. Sooner or later, who knows? His title is both a blessing and a curse. Up until now, it has been a blessing, but who can say when it might suddenly turn into a curse that tears him away from you?
. . .
This time, you didn't snort or doubt his intention. Instead, you smiled, embracing the profound flutter in your chest as you were being proposed.
"Okay," you whispered, voice dry. "Yes… I'll marry you, Satoru."
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hairmetal666 · 4 months
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Steve parks at Eddie's, a plastic wrapped bouquet of roses so purple they're almost black carefully buckled into the passenger seat, and a nervous twist to his stomach. He didn't plan to do this. It's just, he was agonizing about his crush to Robin and she goaded him until it seemed like a great fucking idea to ask Eddie out on Valentine's Day, of all days.
The flowers were an accident. He saw them in the front window of the little flower shop in town, and it felt like fate, like they were practically made for Eddie Munson.
With a deep breath and a gritted teeth, he swings out of the car, flowers in hand. He's doing this, he's got this, he can ask Eddie out.
Music rocks from the trailer, drowning out Steve's knock. They didn't exactly have plans tonight, only they hangout every night since Vecna, so he figured...well, Eddie never said they weren't getting together.
He's a little miffed when his knock isn't answered. Even when the music is up, the walls of the trailer vibrating, Eddie always comes to the door. But the minutes tick by with no response until the annoyance turns to anxiety.
He stretches over, up on tiptoe, craning through the window to see if he can spot Eddie, probably distracted by planning for dnd or working on a song.
The kitchen is deserted, pots steaming on the stove. The two-seater table is covered in one of those paper tablecloths they have at Melvald's for a buck, patterned with bright red hearts. The table is set, two plates, two beers, a candle burning in the center of it all.
God, he's stupid. So stupid, with his nearly black flowers and his silly crush. Of course Eddie already had someone to spend Valentine's Day with.
He stumbles down the stairs, stomach fighting up his throat. The loud music makes so much sense now. He has to leave. He can't stand the thought of Eddie finding him here, letting him down easy; can stand even less seeing him with the date he has over.
Steve almost makes it back to the car before he hears the screen door slam, Eddie's voice calling his name. For a second, he considers ignoring him; for a second, he thinks about jumping in the car and driving off and forgetting this ever happened. But he could never do that to Eddie, not even when the consequence is his own heart.
"Oh, uh. Hey, man," Steve says. He runs his fingers through his hair, swallows. "Didn't mean to interrupt, thought we had plans but I guess they weren't set in stone." He's rambling and he knows it, but can't stop. "I didn't realize you--I'll get out of your hair."
Eddie's eyes flicker from Steve to the flowers clutched in his fist, the wrapping now sweaty and rumpled. "Are those for me?" Eddie asks.
Steve's mouth open and closes a few times, thrown off the track of his monologue and trying to think of a plausible lie. "I--they're--it's--"
There's nothing for it. He has to tell the truth and eat the humiliation. "I saw them today and--They're perfect for you. So, I wanted--" he shakes his head, shoves the bouquet into Eddie's arms. "Happy Valentine's Day. I'll let you get back to your date."
Eddie's face scrunches and it would be cute except for all the way Steve's heart is breaking. "Aren't you my date?"
"What?"
"Steve. We hang out every night. I thought--"
"But. For me--" He splutters. "The table?"
"Harrington, it's Valentine's Day! You bought me flowers!"
"Yeah, cause I was going to ask you out!"
This is what breaks Eddie, and he bursts out into helpless giggles.
"Don't laugh at me, Munson." But he's starting to laugh too.
"I'm sorry! I just--you," and Eddie isn't laughing anymore, he's looking at Steve with clear, shining eyes. "You brought me flowers."
Steve sobers too, hands over the bouquet. "I brought you flowers. You made me dinner."
"Yeah." He glances up at Steve from under his eyelashes. "I made you dinner."
"Sorry for--" He gestures broadly around himself.
Eddie shakes his head, soft smile on his lips. "You're something else, Stevie." The words are so fond they make Steve's heart flip. "Now, come inside before the food gets cold."
Steve walks to do the door, pausing before he climbs the stairs.
"What is it?" Eddie's eyebrows lift.
"Nothing. Just--" Steve licks his lips, notices the way Eddie tracks the movement. "I'm really falling for you, is all."
"No duh," Eddie says with a broad, smitten grin. "You bought me flowers."
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chrissv4mp · 20 days
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make a movie with you that we'd have to hide , CHRIS S.
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summary: you can't help but be obsessed with everything about your boyfriend, and one night, you ask him if you two could try something... different.
pairing: chris stuniolo × fem!reader
warnings: SUPER subby!chris, sorta shy!chris, pet names (ma, baby, love, good boy, baby boy, pretty boy, etc.), handjobs, p in v, unprotected sex, recording, begging, overstimulation, degradation, choking if you squint, name-calling (slut, etc.), just pure filth🤷‍♀️
a/n: chris......... these photo dumps have me screaming, i think i'm transitioning to a chris girl😖
"clothes on the counter for you, try 'em on. if i'm allowed, i'll help you take 'em off..." - LUNCH , billie e.
the door shut softly, and the next thing you heard were chris's footsteps coming down the hall.
his lips curved into a smile the second he caught sight of you, stretching his arms put before falling into your embrace on the couch.
"hi, baby," you muttered, pressing a soft kiss to his neck.
chris exhaled, kissing your cheek, "hi,"
the brunette boy pulled away, staring deep into your eyes before smiling softly, "hi, ma."
he kissed your cheek before getting up, hanging his hoodie up behind the front door before going into the kitchen.
you sighed, moving the blanket off of you before following your boyfriend.
staring wasn't unusual between you two. he always looked so good, and chris had always said you looked gorgeous every second of the day.
but right now, he looked better than ever. his grey t-shirt was a bit small for him, so whenever he moved his arms it would ride up, exposing his v-line and some of his lower abdomen.
his jeans were bigger around his waist, causing them to fall a little lower. you weren't complaining, cause this was the best sight you've seen.
"y/n, baby, are you there?" you didn't even notice your boyfriends repeating your name until he snapped his fingers.
your eyes went back up to his in an instant, blood rushing to your cheeks at the fact that he might've seen you staring.
but chris wouldn't care, he knew what he was doing when he got ready this morning.
"sorry. i'm here, just zoned out." you laughed, walking closer to him and pulling him into a hug.
the boy chuckled, rubbing your back and giving your head a quick kiss before moving toward the fridge.
his eyes moved around the food inside before he spoke again, "should i cook? there's still that steak we bought on wednesday,"
he looked back at you, and you stared at his blue eyes just a little longer than usual before giving him a reply, "sure,"
"i mean, who's turning down professional chef, christopher sturniolo?" you joked, leaning against the kitchen counter.
chris giggled, looking back at the fridge before opening the freezer and grabbing out the packaging the steak was in.
"not even nick and matt can resist." chris smiled, grabbing the scissors to cut open the plastic.
you watched silently as chris carefully cut the packaging, eyes fixated on his hands and fingers that so delicately moved.
chris couldn't bear the silence, even if it was comfortable, "so, nick, matt, and i tried gummy food vs. regular food. shit was disgusting,"
he laughed, adding onto his topic, "also nick broke a glass, and almost the camera with a gummy donut."
you smirked, chuckling. your mind went blank for a few seconds before an idea popped into your mind.
chris was always vlogging with his brothers, and he loved to be the center of attention of everything they did.
if he liked the audience so much, then why not create a movie? a movie that was just for you and chris to see, make a movie that you two would have to hide.
"nick? seriously, out of the three of you, i would've never guessed him," you replied, the idea still lingering in your mind.
how would you even bring it up? it would be awkward, and chris might even think it's weird.
but he always told you to come to him whenever, so why were you so scared now?
"that was amazing, chris," you complimented, placing your hand on his thigh under the table.
he smiled, blushing slightly as he looked down, "thanks."
the brunette boy stood up, grabbing both of your plates and taking them to the sink. before he turned the water on, you grabbed his wrist.
"hey, i got it, go upstairs and take a shower. you've already done enough, 'kay?" you said just above a whisper, running your thumb over his palm.
he smiled softly, kissing your forehead before placing the dishes down in the sink, "you're the best. i love you, ma."
"love you, too, chris." you smiled, taking over his place at the sink as you listened to him walk up towards the stairs.
before he reached them, you called out, "i left you some clothes on the bathroom counter, too!"
he thanked you before continuing his way up to the bathroom.
rinsing off the plates and forks, you placed them on the drying rack before opening the dishwasher.
you grabbed the clean dishes from the dishwasher, putting them away in the cabinets before grabbing the dirty ones and placing them in.
as you finished, you decided to pass the time by going on your phone, lying back down on the couch before getting lost in the tiktoks on your for you page.
once you got bored, you went to instagram, going to the triplets' account and looking over their new friday photo dump.
chris was on the fourth slide alongside nick, and their friend, nate. his shirt was riding up his stomach and his boxers were showing just the slightest.
he smiled innocently, holding out the peace sign as his arm hung around nate's shoulder.
you crossed your legs, biting your lip as your eyes went over the picture again. he looked so good in it, but he also looked like he was so innocent.
fuck, you just wanted to ruin him for anyone else. you wanted to let everyone know that chris was yours.
if he allowed you tonight, you'd help him take off his clothes.
you remember picking out his red plaid pajama pants and a black wife-beater. he always looked good in that.
you decided to walk upstairs to your bedroom, it was too quiet downstairs and a bit too dark for your liking.
as you walked past the bathroom, you heard heavy breathing even over the sounds of water hitting the shower floor.
stopping right in front of the bathroom, you put your ear against the door. you gasped quietly as you heard chris moan. it was kind of high-pitched, and right after, he whimpered your name.
"fuck," you groaned quietly, deciding to just continue your walk to the bedroom.
something to tease him about later. so impatient, he couldn't even wait a few minutes longer to get off.
chris crawled onto the mattress, the edge of the bed dipping as he made his way over to you at the headboard.
his hair was still damp, water dripping off the ends every other minute.
"i missed you all day," he whispered, lying on your chest as he nestled his head into the crook of your neck.
your hands threaded into his hair, massaging his scalp as he lay comfortably.
"i missed you, too." you muttered, kissing his head.
his hands moved up your body, sneaking under the fabric of your shirt and continuing their way to your chest.
you sighed, feeling him toy with the fabric of your bra.
"missed all of you.." he mumbled, kissing your neck and occasionally nipping at it.
his touches weren't making the heat between your thighs any better. if anything, they just made you wetter.
you pulled on his hair softly, your grip tightening with every new mark he left on the soft skin of your neck.
"chris," you gasped, hands going down to his waist as you gripped it softly.
he whimpered at your motions, bucking his hips against yours and eliciting a groan from your throat.
a smirk came to your lips as you felt his dick bulging from underneath his pants and boxers, and the moment he stopped sucking your neck, you flipped him over on his back.
chris gasped silently, lips parted as he stared up at you with eyes full of lust.
"didn't you just get off, love?" you asked in a whisper, caressing his cheek and running your thumb over his bottom lip.
his face went red, turning his head to the side to try and hide.
you quickly grabbed his chin, turning his head back so that he could look straight at you.
"don't be so rude," you smiled, "can't you just answer my question? please?"
he sighed, biting his lip as he looked anywhere but your eyes. he hesitated before speaking, "yea- yes, mhm. i did, ma."
your hand went lower, traveling down his jawline and stopping at his neck. you wrapped your fingers around him, putting the slightest amount of pressure down.
"yeah? do you think you're better at getting yourself off than i am?" you teased, watching as his face contorted into a look of worry.
he shook his head frantically, and you applied more pressure to his neck for him to stop.
releasing your hand just a bit, you began again, "then why, hm?"
chris bucked his hips, his eyes rolling back as he whimpered out his answer, "was thinkin' 'bout you, fuck.. 'jus so pretty."
your frowned in fake sympathy, tilting your head a little to see his face better in the dimly-lit room.
humming, you looked around the room, eyes landing on the small digital camera chris had on his nightstand.
"hey, y'know what would make up for your mistake, baby boy?" you muttered, watching as chris's lips parted.
"what?" he whispered, finally making eye contact with you.
staying quiet, you got off him, walking around to his side of the bed and grabbing the camera.
chris sat up, eyes following your every movement as you went into your shared closet. he raised an eyebrow, clueless and confused.
when you came back to the bed, you put up his tripod, setting the camera onto it before adjusting the settings and placing it so that the camera was pointed toward the bed.
before chris could spill his thoughts, you spoke, "is this okay?"
he didn't even hesitate, nodding quickly. chris liked the idea of secret sex-tapes, ones that only you two would see.
he never told you many of his fantasies, keeping to himself every time because he would doubt you'd say yes to him.
before getting on the bed, you pressed the "record" button.
the side of the bed dipped as you crawled over to chris, pushing him to lay down again before trapping him in a heated kiss.
chris was already painfully hard, and the way you shifted around on his lap didn't make his case any better, gasps and whimpers being trapped between your two lips.
when he moaned, you slipped your tongue past his lips, exploring his mouth and running over his teeth as you groaned.
his hands went to your waist, holding you with possession as he guided your movements.
your free hand went lower, sneaking under his plaid pajamas and palming him through the soft fabric of his boxers.
chris couldn't reciprocate the kiss anymore within a few seconds, gasps, and whimpers falling from his mouth into yours.
"feels s'good," the brunette boy sighed, eyes staying shut even as you pulled away to trail kisses down his neck.
you could feel the damp spot of pre-cum on his boxers, and it made you impossibly wetter.
"so worked up," you muttered before sucking on his pulse point, hearing as chris begged in that whiny tone of his.
he wasn't even speaking coherently, blabbering out inaudible words as he gripped your waist tighter.
you left a hickey every time you went lower, leaving a trail of marks all the way to the neck of his wife-beater.
"need you, need you s'bad. please, please, ma." he groaned, eyelids fluttering open at the loss of stimulation on his clothed cock.
"be patient, i know you can." you crawled down his body, stopping right before the edge of the bed before tugging on his plaid pajama pants.
chris lifted his hips, helping you as your hands tugged the fabric down to his ankles.
before chris could beg again, you tugged his boxers down, revealing his dick that looked painfully hard.
"need you, mamas. need your hands, please, you're s'good," he whined, bucking his hips into nothing at the thought of your hands around him.
placing a hand on his hips, you stopped his movements.
he groaned out in annoyance before watching you spit in your hand and move it to his cock.
"shit," he gasped shakily, the feeling of your hand moving up and down his length making him shudder.
your thumb circled his tip, gathering the pre-cum from there and spreading it along his length.
your hand began to move faster, making chris moan even louder and buck his hips as best he could. it was all so overwhelming for him, and it was just the first round.
"god, baby, s'good to me." the brunette said in between moans, eyes rolling to the back of his head as his back arched slightly.
"better than your own hand?" you asked, and chris nodded quickly.
you laughed before crawling back up his body, capturing his lips in a kiss once again as you continued the movements with your hand.
chris was already so sensitive, making him more vocal and needy as he chased his high. he couldn't help it when you always looked so fucking gorgeous.
"g'nna cum, fuck, i'ma cum..!" the boy moaned against your lips, his thighs shaking as he continued bucking his hips.
your thumb circled his tip every time you stroked him, making those pretty whimpers fall from his red, puffy lips.
"c'mon, pretty boy, cum for me," you muttered in a seductive tone, and chris let out a low moan before doing just that.
gasps fell from his lips every second as he came down, your hand slowing down just a bit but not exactly stopping. not even when he came back.
he shook his head slowly, eyes squeezed shut from the pleasure that became more overwhelming as you pushed him past his second orgasm of the night.
"too much, baby, please," he didn't know what he was begging for, it felt so good but it also felt like it was too much.
hair stuck to his forehead from the sweat that formed there, and chris threw his head back into the pillows at your reassuring whispers.
"oh, but you wanted me so bad, pretty boy.." you kissed his jawline softly, whispering close to his ear, "you can take it."
"no, no.. can't," he whined, lips growing redder from how hard he bit them.
you rolled your eyes teasingly, the pace of your hand speeding up as you spoke, "you were acting like such a slut earlier, made it seem like you could take more than one,"
he groaned at your words, his resolve fading as he gave into you. his chest rose and fell rapidly, breathing heavy as he tried to keep eye contact with you.
"good boy, always so good," you praised, cupping his cheek with your free hand.
tears swelled in chris's eyes from the overstimulation, quiet sobs slipping from his lips from the pleasure.
it didn't long for chris to cum again, his thighs shaking as he whined loudly.
"see, you're so amazing, baby boy," you cooed, getting off the bed to strip yourself of your own clothes.
chris just stared, scooting up to sit against the headboard and sighing as he stared at every inch of your body.
"so pretty, fuck," he muttered, his dick getting hard just at the sight of your body.
he never knew someone would ever have this effect on him.
you crawled back on the bed, standing on your knees and lining chris's cock up with your entrance.
chris didn't have time to process what you were doing before you sunk down on his cock fully, making him moan out.
"one more for me?" you muttered, pecking his lips before beginning to roll your hips.
it didn't take long for chris to help you bounce on his dick, making it all the more pleasurable as you rode him.
the sounds of skin against skin filled the room along with both of your moans mixing together.
your hands tugged at his hair, making chris whine louder as he bucked his hips frantically into your pussy.
"oh my god..!" chris squirmed beneath you, nails digging into the exposes skin of your waist as he stared up at you.
your mouth hung open, gasps and moans falling out as you continued to ride him, picking up your pace.
"c'mon, baby, one more.." you muttered, eyes fixated on your boyfriends face.
chris cried out as he reached the edge, holding it as he stuttered out something, "need t'cum, please lemme cum, ma!"
you nodded, and a few seconds after chris came undone, so did you.
the brunette boy let out quiet whimpers as he came down once again, his grip on your waist loosening.
"fuck," you whispered, getting off of chris and sitting beside him.
he looked over at you, kissing your cheek with a smile, his eyes droopy from how tired he was.
"i love you," he whispered, resting his head on your bare shoulder.
"i love you, too." you replied, tilting your head to rest on his.
. . . . . . . .
tags: @starsturns234 @joemamaaa42069 @sturniolohisteric @whosthislyssbitch @sturniclo
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woso-dreamzzz · 3 months
Text
Injured VII
Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader
Jenni Hermoso x Child!Reader
Summary: Alexia tries to get her act together
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For as long as she will ever live, Alexia will never forget her mother's face that day at Alba's door.
She will never forget the genuine horror on her mother's face even as she took control of the situation. She will never forget that night when Alba slammed her against the wall after the final of the Copa de la Reina. She will never forget the way you hid behind Jenni's legs after your ballet lesson.
It's all she thinks about even as she sits in the rocking chair with a sleeping Jaume in her arms.
"Ale?" Olga says sleepily," It's three in the morning. Come back to bed."
Alexia doesn't want to. She doesn't want to let Jaume go but she doesn't want to look at him either.
He was so perfect. His birth had been quick and easy unlike yours. Alexia had felt an instant connection to him, unlike when she suffered a bought of post-partum depression with you. He was so soft and so perfect and yet...
Alexia couldn't believe that she has pushed you away in favour of him.
She had a beautiful son and daughter. Two children, not one.
She thought having a sibling would be the best thing for you. She wanted to build a family with Olga. She never considered that she hadn't actually included you in that family.
"Alexia," Olga says, a bit more awake now," Come on. He's due for a feed soon. I'd like some sleep before that."
Mechanically, Alexia places her son back in his crib, wiping away some of the drool on his face as she allows Olga to lead her back to bed.
A sense of numbness follows her now and it's clear to everyone.
Word has spread amongst the team now about what has happened. They know the bare minimum, only that Alba took Bambi and that Jenni has dropped everything to fly across the world for you.
No one knows why, officially. It's clear that Mapi and Ingrid have informed a few team members. Paredes, in particular, cannot look Alexia in the eye anymore and some of the younger players are wary seeing that.
Her life is falling apart. She had no idea you were the linchpin holding it all together.
Olga lays next to her, head pillowed on Alexia's chest.
"You're so tense," She says," Relax. Everything's going to be fine."
Alexia scoffs. "Is it?"
Her question hangs in the air for several minutes. Neither of them speak. Neither of them move.
"Yes," Olga says eventually," You need to stay positive, Alexia. If not for yourself then for your daughter-"
"Your daughter?" Alexia echoes Olga's words perfectly," My daughter? Is she not ours?"
The silence is telling and Olga rolls over and away.
"Is she? Jaume is ours. y/n is yours."
Alexia sits up in bed, reaching over to flick a lamp on. This wasn't a conversation she could have in the dark.
"We have a son together. We're going to get married. In what world is Bambi just mine?!"
"In every world!" Olga sits up too. "She has always been yours, Alexia! I am just the woman her Mami is marrying! Nothing more, nothing less!"
"How can you say that?! We're making a family together! Bambi is included in that family!"
"Of course she is but when have I ever taken that role in her life?! You took her to football! You take her to ballet!"
"She stays home with you all day!" Alexia bites back, standing now until they're both yelling at each other over the bed. "You make her lunch! You keep her occupied!"
"And you do her baths and her bedtime routine! You do her morning routine too! God, Alexia, I am essentially her glorified babysitter! You have never once let me take over those things!"
"You didn't ask?! Olga, if you wanted to do that stuff just ask me!"
"And be rejected? No! You've never given any indication that I was even allowed to try!"
"Because I thought you didn't want to! Bambi has always been mine! Forgive me for not knowing how much to put on your plate. I was trying to make this transition easy!"
"An easy transition?! Alexia, I was pregnant! I was already thrown in the deep end! Adding a self-sufficient kid wouldn't have been much worse!"
They're both screaming at each other now and Jaume clearly hears the noise because he cries from down the hall.
Alexia takes a deep breath, eyes shutting briefly as she counts to ten to calm herself.
Olga goes to get Jaume, moving out the door.
"If we're going to get Bambi back," Alexia calls after her," Then we have to both want her!"
The forms about your ballet class lay on the kitchen table when Alexia gets up the next day. Things were frosty last night when Olga came back to bed with Jaume but they seemed to be looking up when Olga said that they would have a mature conversation about the Bambi situation when Alexia got home.
Alexia picks it up as she eats her breakfast, skimming through it. It's for an extra class on Thursday nights (five until seven) on top of your usual ones. Apparently, it's for those little kids that have real potential. As in, the potential to be great.
Alexia had been one of those kids but for football instead of ballet. She had excelled. She was one of the greatest in the world now all because her father saw the potential in her and signed her up for a team.
She had tried to do the same with you. She took you to the under-fives Barcelona team but it hadn't turned out how she want it to. The other children had left you in the dust. Alexia had hoped that it would be a one time thing, that the first session was a fluke.
You were already so different to her and even back then, she knew that when Jaume arrived things would be different.
She'd tried to get you into football so you would have something to bond over together, at least until Jaume was big enough to play with you.
But it wasn't meant to be and her Mama had insisted in signing you up for something else.
Originally, Alexia had planned on it being another team sport, desperate to have something at least similar to football that she could cling to.
Instead, her Mama had reminded her of last Christmas when the family went to go see the Nutcracker and how enamoured you had been.
Ale's Mama had pushed and pushed for ballet and Alexia was glad that she had.
The forms sat signed on the kitchen table as Alexia washed up her bowl and dialled a number on her phone.
"Hola, Mama," She says," It's about Bambi..."
It's after training that Alexia goes to see her Mama and sister. They meet up at Eli's house and all crowd around the kitchen table.
Jenni is there too and when Alexia asks who is looking after you, she's told that Mapi and Ingrid have taken you for ice cream.
"I don't like this," Alba mutters from where she's leaning against the wall. She's the only one not sat, arms crossed over her chest. "How do we know that she's not going to take Bambi home and neglect her again, huh?"
It's the hardest words Alexia has ever had to say but she pushes them out of her mouth. "I don't want you to give me Bambi back, not now at least."
"What do you mean, Alexia?" Her Mama asks.
"I...I have a lot of making up to do," Alexia admits," I broke her trust and that is not an easy thing to get back. If I want Bambi to come home then she has to want it to. I don't want her to be unhappy again."
"What are you saying?"
"Let me visit her, please. Let me earn back her trust, please."
Everyone knows Eli is in charge here. She is the head of the family and everyone defers to her on big decisions like this. This is a family matter. This is about her granddaughter's happiness and her daughter's peace of mind.
"Bambi is very fragile right now," Eli says quietly but the house is so silent everyone can hear her clearly," This is a serious matter, Alexia and if it was anyone else's daughter, child services will have already been called."
Alexia looks down at the table, the same table she would be scolded at when she was young.
"Your father would be ashamed of you." Eli's words are hard and biting and it's exactly what Alexia wants, even if it causes a sharp pain in her chest. "This is not how we raised you. That little girl is so beloved by everyone and what you have done...I love you, Ale, but it is unacceptable."
"I know, Mama. Please, let me make this right."
"Bambi coming home is her choice. It is not a when...it is an if. If I decide that you are doing more harm than good then there will be other actions we can take."
She looks at Jenni, who up until this point has been silent and Alexia's eyes dart to her too.
"Mama, what are you talking about?"
"Eli," Jenni says," She is trying. We don't need to-"
"Jenni still has adoption papers," Alba says from her corner of the room," All they're missing is your signature. Mama is saying that if this cannot be resolved and Bambi doesn't want to come home..."
She lets the idea hang in the air. She doesn't need to say it out loud. They all know what she means.
"It won't get that far," Jenni says, looking at Alexia for the first time since all of this became real," Bambi loves you."
Alexia pushes through the lump in her throat and the tears pricking in her eyes. "If I cannot make this better then she will have the best chance with you."
Jenni looks away first. "She has ballet on Saturday until one. We can do a visit then."
"Thank you."
Olga is sitting with Jaume when Alexia gets home. It's an almost perfect image. All it's missing is you at Olga's feet, playing with your trains.
She can imagine it, your trainsets spread all over the floor and your ballet bag left abandoned on a chair. You will smile when you see her and Alexia will litter your face with kisses before doing the same to Olga and Jaume.
It will be perfect, Alexia promises herself.
"Hey, little man," She coos to her son, hefting him up into her arms and pressing a kiss to his forehead.
Jaume giggles at the affection, lips smacking together as his hand whips out to grab at Alexia's nose curiously. He's been a little fussy recently and extremely sensitive to changes in light but he seems a little happier now.
"That's my nose," Alexia says. She wiggles it. "Is it really funny? Huh? Is my nose funny?"
"Jaume seems to think so." Olga rises from the sofa and pecks Alexia's lips. "How was your mother?"
"Helpful."
"And Alba?"
"She was...Alba."
"And Jenni?"
"How did you-?"
"I am not blind or deaf, Ale. Your team gossips. Jenni has comes back to Spain for y/n."
"Amor-"
"I'm not threatened," Olga laughs," You broke up for a reason but even I know that a meeting of y/n would involve her. How was it? What did they say?"
Alexia manages a smile. "I can see her on Saturday, after ballet. There's a place where you can paint pottery nearby. I think I'll take her there."
"That's nice," Olga says.
"I..." Alexia's been floating in a happy bubble ever since she started to drive home. She doesn't want to ruin it but she has to know. "Did you have a think about what we talked about?"
Olga sighs. "I love Jaume," She says after several beats of quiet," Because he is mine, yes, but mostly because he is yours as well. And I love you so much."
Alexia doesn't like where this is going. "And Bambi?"
"I'm sorry, Ale, but I do not love y/n but...I think I could learn to because she is so much like you and I love you. I do not know y/n like I know you and Jaume. I want to though. I want her home with us so I can love her like I love Jaume. I am sorry if it is not what you want to hear but it is my truth and I hope that is enough."
Tears fall down Alexia's cheeks.
"It's enough. It's enough, amor."
Alexia spends all week waiting for Saturday. There are matches to prepare for and media commitments to do but you're all she can think about.
She wonders if she should bring you a new train to mark the occasion but the model train store has finally shut down and Alexia cannot get one for you in time.
Next time though, she promises herself that she'll got you a new train for your collection. Her palms are sweaty and she's nervous when she spots you and Jenni walking down the street hand-in-hand.
You're still in your ballet clothes but you've got one of Jennie's jackets on and it's dragging on the ground behind you because it's too big. Your hair is still done up in a bun and a few wisps fall down to frame your face.
"Bambi," Alexia says, suddenly breathless when you look up at her.
"Hola, Mami," You reply, ducking a little bit behind Jenni as you greet her.
"Your Mami and you are going to paint some pottery," Jenni says," And I'll be right here to pick you up when you're done."
"You won't be late?"
"Of course I won't be! You're my most favourite little girl in the whole wide world! I'd never be late to pick you up!"
You smile and giggle when Jenni peppers kisses all over your face before gently moving you towards Alexia.
"Hola, Mami," You say again.
Alexia smiles and takes your hand. "Hola, Bambi."
You look very nervous and your hand is unusually warm in Alexia's, though she puts that down to you coming straight from ballet.
There's a big wall where you can choose what to make. Alexia gets a mug and, unsurprisingly, you want the train. It's at the very top of the shelf and you can't reach and you don't want Mami to get upset at you for asking when you could easily get something that's closer to your height.
But Alexia notices.
She's making sure to pay a lot of attention to you now. To the way that your ballet pumps are wearing a bit at the soles and the way you play with the sleeves of Jenni's jacket.
"Do you want the train, Bambi?" She asks," Do you want me to pick you up so you can grab it? Can I touch you?"
You nervously nod and Alexia pretends to not notice the way that you don't breath until you're safely back on the ground.
The little shop is quaint and fairly quiet and Alexia lets you choose the table at the very back.
Very gently, she telegraphs her every move to you as she rolls up the sleeves of Jenni's jacket so you don't get paint on it.
You're both quiet as you paint.
Your little tongue is stuck out in concentration as you dip your paintbrush into the paint and move it to cover your train.
"You moved up in ballet," Alexia says eventually," How was that?"
"Was good," Is the response from your tiny voice," It is harder now but still fun." You blink a few times as the overhead light buzzes and you scratch at you neck. It's been a little itchy since you last saw Mami and you don't like.
You haven't told anyone because you're scared they're going to get angry at you. You're a big girl now. Big girl don't complain about something as silly as itchy skin.
"I'm very proud of you," Alexia says," And I'm glad that you're enjoying ballet so much."
Your watery little smile back makes Alexia nearly cry herself. "Really, Mami?"
"Of course. I am so proud of my Bambi. You make me proud everyday."
"Are you sure, Mami?"
"Yes. I am very proud of you."
You sniffle a little and duck your head back down to continue painting. It hurts to move your head though. It's all stiff and tight so you have to hold it at an odd angle so you don't cry - though you're not sure if it's because of the pain or the fact that Mami is acting like this is the Before.
The Mami from the Before never got angry when you asked silly questions. The Mama from the Now got angry at you once when you asked a silly questions when Jaume was crying.
You hope that this Mami won't be mad because you ask a silly question.
"Mami," You ask softly, the memory plaguing you ever since your Jenni returned to you," Jenni says she wanted me when I was little. Did you want me?"
Whatever bubble Alexia was in before pops and it's like icy cold water has been dumped on her.
"What do you mean, Bambi?"
"You and Miss Olga wanted Jaume," You say," And my Jenni says she wanted me. Did you want me too?"
"Bambi..." Alexia doesn't want to think about those first few months of having you. The post-partum depression had hit hard and Alexia could do little but deal with yours and hers basic needs.
She had loved you and resented you all at the same time and the guilt had weighed on her for months.
"I always want you."
You shake your head before wincing and returning your head back to its awkward resting position. "But did you want me then? When I was little like Baby Jaume and when I was in your belly?"
Alexia moves from her chair to kneel in front of you. Her hand comes up to cradle you. Either her hands are big or your face is tiny because they cover your entire cheek.
"I love you," Alexia says," You're my Bambi and I've always loved you."
"But did you want me?"
"Bambi..."
"Mami...Mami, I..."
Alexia doesn't want to lie but she also doesn't want to tell you either. There were moments, that first week she found out she was pregnant when she didn't want you. She hadn't been overjoyed at the prospective of you. She hadn't wanted her career to be derailed by something as silly as a child.
She doesn't want to tell you the truth because she knows that it will be damaging to you. You're not old enough to be told things like this. You're not mature enough to be told this kind of information and not have it linger and fester within you for years.
But Alexia's always valued honesty. She doesn't like lying but she had lied to you all your life. She doesn't want to lie again now even if it's about something like this. Adults cannot fault other adults for telling their truth but you are neither an adult nor can you understand what this means for you.
"I want you now," Alexia says instead," I want you when I go to bed every night. I want you when I wake up every morning. I want you when I score a goal and when I win trophies. I want you, Bambi."
You sniffle and scratch more insistently at your skin, your wrists this time.
"I miss you sometimes, Mami," You say," But coming back to your house is scary."
"Thank you for being honest, Bambi. You don't have to come home if you don't want to." Alexia forces down tears. "When I next see you, we should go and see Abuela and we'll explain things to you, okay?"
"Okay, Mami."
"Is your train done?"
Your train actually is done so Mami gives it and her mug to the lady who works there to finish off and you both walk outside.
"They should be done in a few days," Mami tells you," And then when I next see you, I'll give you your new train."
"Okay, Mami." Her hand is in yours and you think that is enough for today, pulling your hand away as Jenni turns the corner and lets you run to her.
"Hey," She laughs, swinging you up into her arms," How did it go? Was it fun?"
You don't answer, burying your face into Jenni's neck.
"I..." Alexia says," I think next time when should go to my Mama's...Conversations are...difficult sometimes."
Jenni nods. "I see," She says," Next week, maybe?"
The words are complete autopilot. Alexia hates what she's said the moment they're out of her mouth but they're completely out of habit and she doesn't even think before she speaks.
"We'll see," She says," I'll have to check my schedule." She clamps her mouth shut the moment she says them. "I mean- No, I meant-"
You look resigned, like you are so used to this that it barely effects you but Jenni looks furious. She hefts you up higher in her arms.
"Say goodbye to your Mami, Bambi."
"Bye, Mami."
"Hey...Wait, no, Jenni. I didn't mean-"
"Bambi needs to have a nap," Jenni says," She takes one right after ballet. We changed her schedule for painting today. I should get her home."
Alexia wilts, slouching her shoulders and curling in on herself. "Adios, Bambi. I love you!"
Jenni is already walking around and you don't offer your own I love you in return.
Jenni's steady steps feel nice as she walks you back to Tia Alba's. Your itchiness increases and you scratch more harshly at your neck.
"Ma-Jenni?"
"Yes, Bambi?"
"Can we have cuddles tonight?"
"Of course we can. I love cuddles with my favourite little girl. Are we having them on the sofa after bathtime or in bed together?"
Before Ma-Jenni came home, you slept with your Tia Alba. Now you sleep in the same bed as Ma-Jenni. She's big and strong and she holds you just right. She doesn't let you go the whole night. You go to sleep in her arms and you wake up in her arms.
"Bed cuddles please."
"I love bed cuddles."
You grin. "I love bed cuddles too!"
You scratch at your neck again and Jenni gently pulls your hand away. She frowns, swiping at your skin with her thumb a few times.
"You've got a bit of a rash there, Bambi," She says," We'll have to keep an eye on that."
918 notes · View notes
wosoamazing · 2 months
Text
Diabetes
Summary: You join arsenal and move in with Beth and Viv, you're nervous how everything will go, but ultimately it was perfect
Warnings: Diabetes, Hypoglycaemia, Glucagon shot, let me know if anything else.
A/N: Just a bit of a cute fluffy fic, I tried to get everything right medically but IDK if it is perfect. I hope you like it. If I did get something wrong let me know. Also as always happy to do part 2s if requested but pls add some detail on what you want to see.
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You were originally going to move in with Leah however the Medical Team said it would be best for you to live with two people, so you moved in with Beth and Viv, you were very nervous as to how they would perceive you, and whether they would be accommodating of your diabetes or not. You knew the medical team had discussions with them and that the club had forced them to do the emergency training for really bad lows and highs, what you didn't know was that they asked the club if they could find them some more training courses, they had done just about everyone single one, from how to use a Dexcom and an Omnipod as these were the devices you used, to how to live everyday life with diabetes. 
So when you turned up to their house you were very surprised to see some snacks sitting out on the bench, each with a piece of paper next to them, with the amount of carbs in them. They had really gone out of their way to help you settle in and make your life easier.
“Um, we have something to show you.” Beth said, kind of hesitant, you followed them over to a cupboard, “Um, it might be a little silly but this is for you,” she said as she opened the cupboard. It was empty other than some shelves, and draws, some organisation baskets, a mini fridge and a basket full of lollies. “There are some juices in there, we didn’t know what flavour you liked so we bought a pack of each, if you don’t like a flavour that's okay, we also got you these, they are all 15g of Carbs each, um but we can buy anything else you want or prefer, and um we thought you could put all of your supplies in here so they are organised and there is even a label maker so we can label the draws and stuff if you want oh and this is for you I suppose.” She said as she picked up a phone, it was a brand new iPhone 15 “it's more for the club, they were originally going to by you a android but we told them you wouldn't use it so yeah, the idea is we connect it to you sensors as like an additional device, so that everyone has access to your levels, so like at night we will keep it beside our bed so if anything happens we are alerted and during games the medical staff will have it and during training I think Kelly is mainly going to have it.” you nodded knowing you couldn't speak, the kindness of both women, and seeing how much they more cared and were going to 100% help you caused you to become emotional you felt a single tear roll down your face, causing the pair to panic lightly “You could have a cupboard somewhere else if you wanted or we could show you, your bedroom, it's pretty bare but we had plans to take you shopping so you could decorate it and make it your own,” another tear roll down your face, “are you okay, did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong?” you shook your head “th-thank you” Beth pulled you in for a hug “it's nothing really” but it was something it was everything, it was perfect. You spent your day moving in. 
You set up the cupboard first, you drew a plan of where everything was going to go, detailing it before everything started to get put into the cupboard. Your plan worked very well and the cupboard was very organised and practical. Viv thought it was quite cute, she was going to like this side of you very much. Once you had set up the cupboard you got to go shopping, first you went to the homemaker centre, buying some bedspreads, pillows, and decorations from multiple different shops, to make more room in the car you had to do a pit stop at home, chucking it sll through the front door, before heading back out for lunch, it was the first time Beth and Viv had experienced eating out with Diabetes, well even just eating and diabetes. You were very well practised at it, and helped Beth and Viv learn, showing them how you did everything, you taught them how to estimate carbs, but that differently needed practise on their end, you also showed how you can either your phone or your pod controller to set up the insulin delivery and you even pricked their fingers to test their levels for fun, you liked how they weren’t over cautious about it and how they weren’t treating you differently, and also the fact that they didn’t see it as annoying, really you just liked everything about them. You then went to IKEA to get a desk, a chest of drawers and some other items for your bedroom. Once you got home you set up your room, you were putting your clothes away when you were interrupted by Beth and Viv calling you down for dinner.
“Stuffed capsicums!” You yelled as you walked into the kitchen.
“Inside voice,” “Vivvy, it’s cute, your parents told us they were one of your favourites and we thought after the lunch we had today they would be a good choice, how many do you want?”
“Two please, thank you,” “you’re welcome, if you want we can sit on the couch and watch a movie.” you nodded your head before making your way over to the couch.
-
“Come in,�� Viv said after you knocked on the door, her face dropped when you opened the door and she saw your red puffy eyes, and tear stained cheeks. You had been crying because you were so relieved and happy, and you wanted to thank them again.
“Kleintje, is everything okay?” Viv asked, causing Beth to pop her head out of the bathroom mid teeth brushing, the sight of you caused her to quickly move back to the bathroom rinsing out her mouth before pulling you in for a hug.
“T-thank you, for everything, it was perfect, you didn’t have to do any of it”
“Of course Kleintje,” Viv walked over to the two of you joining in the hug.
“We want you to feel welcomed and comfortable, it is now your house too. But please if you need us for anything at all you can come wake us up, our door is always open.” 
“Figuratively, not literally” you giggled slightly at Viv’s comment.
“Let's all go to sleep. Hey. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow” Beth said.
_____
Your second day was a training day, you Beth and Viv arrived early, as you had a few meetings, the first one was with Jonas and Kelly, about everything but also your diabetes, then the medics and some other people, Beth and Viv came with you to all of them. As you sat in the tactical session, you sipped on your apple juice popper as you listened intently, trying to ignore Beth and Steph’s talking, you were one to think tactics were a major part of the game, something else Viv would come to like. You then had a short gym session and then it was lunch, everyone was wondering what it was going to be, you already knew but decided not to tell them, you had been given the menu for the week, to select some things that you would want, so that they could make up a plate for you, ensuring they could tell you the exact amount of carbs. You walked in to find your plate sitting on the bench next to all the other food, it was a chicken burger, on wholemeal bread rather than a burger bun, you also had some snacks. There was a piece of paper next to it that had your name on it and the amount of carbs in each item, including each item of the burger. You picked up your plate and walked over to Beth, who pointed to the table she usually sat at, so you sat down there, waiting for her and others to join you, Kelly soon walked in with your kit, which you accidentally forgot at the meeting, you took it from her gratefully and she told you what would be happening in training so you had some idea of how much you needed to adjust your insulin. You picked up your phone and checked to see what it said your sugars were at, your phone said your sugars were at 90 which was perfect considering your target range was between 80-100, you were unzipping your kit when some of the team came to sit down, Beth sat next to you, Steph, Katie, and Caitlin also sat down. You pulled out your lancing device and pricked your finger, using your metre to confirm your reading before putting the units you needed for the burger into your pod controller.
“Do you mind us asking?” Katie questioned what you were doing.
“Um, I have diabetes, I was diagnosed when I was two, but it means that I have to manually control my blood sugars. My body doesn't do it at all, so I have to calculate the insulin I need for when I eat," "Right,” she nodded her head.
____
You had a few hiccups with your diabetes since living with Beth and Viv, but nothing major, however that was going to change. It was the 60th minute and you felt your body start shaking, the medics hadn’t called a paused or called you over and even thought you felt funny at half time your levels were normal, if anything slightly high, but you knew you were low, not only was your body shaking, but your brain hurt and felt foggy, you were also struggling to not fall over. You knew you needed to get off the pitch soon, before you passed out. A corner gave you the perfect opportunity to tell Beth you were low, you walked up to her, she looked at you confused and concerned.
“L-Low” you managed to say to Beth before you collapsed forward on her, she lowered you to the ground and the ref immediately blew the whistle, the medical team was on the pitch immediately, players from both teams were starting to form a huddle around you, trying to protect you from the media.
-
They were checking your sugars, as Beth got a Glucagon shot ready, she was ready to go when she got the nod of approval from the medics. Beth injected the shot into you and you were immediately rolled onto your side by the medics, waking up just moments later, in a panicked state, sitting up. 
“It’s okay, you passed out from being low, we had to give you a Glucagon, but it’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” Beth said as she rubbed your back.
“S-sta-stay?” you managed to get out eyes wide open with fear.
“Go with her, I’ll tell Jonas,” Beth nodded.
Viv met you and Beth in the medical room, she sat on a chair while Beth sat on the bed with you, you were given some gummy bears as well as an apple juice popper, to try and elevate your levels, you were still shaky and sweaty but your vision was completely clear and the medics and paramedics cleared you, which meant you didn't have to go to the hospital, but Beth and Viv had very strict instructions to take you to the hospital if certain things happened, such as seizures, loss of consciousness and others. 
“Do you want to go home now Kleintje?” you nodded as you ate a gummy bear.
_____
You were very nervous for your first camp, for how the staff would handle your diabetes but more so the team. The last game you played for Arsenal was the one you passed out during. You visited your endo after that incident and he had recommended putting tape over your sensor and pod when you played. The sensor had slightly pulled out during your arsenal game and so it wasn't actually reading your blood sugar.
It was your first training session and Beth had helped you, with the supervision of the medical team, put tape around your arms covering your sensor and pod, it was so you could get used to the feeling of it before your first game. You weren't required to have tape over your sensor and pod during training as you had frequent breaks which you could be checked during.
-
As you warmed up with Lauren Esme and Niamh, Ella and Alessia walked over to you.
“Why do you have tape on your arms?”  Ella asked. “Ella you can't just ask that” Mary said as she walked over with Beth, who had overhead the question, so she stood behind you placing her hands on your shoulders. “You don't have to tell them.” Beth whispered in your ear, you did want to tell them but you weren't sure you wanted to tell them right now.
“Oh um,” you were saved by Sarina calling the team over. While Sarina talked one of the medics came over to you, she handed you the phone and you saw your reading, being nodding and sticking your hand out to her, hoping that somehow in the non contact warm up the sensor had moved and that reading wasn't true, as if it was you most likely weren't going to get to do training this morning. You were handed a small container filled with 6 sour worms which told you the reading was true, you opened the container and started to eat them while Sarina kept talking.
“Why don’t we get sour worms?” Ella whined.
“Because you’re not special enough.” you inform her, causing everyone to break out into laughter.
“I like her,” Millie said as she high fived you. Sarina ignored all the commotion, she was obviously used to it and just continued talking. “Y/N could I just talk to you quickly?” she said as you and the girls started to disperse, you nodded and walked over to her.
“Sorry Sarina. I didn’t mean to-” “No, that's not what I wanted to speak about but I appreciate the apology. I wanted to talk to you about telling the girls, is it something you would like to do?”
“Um, yeah I think, I just don’t know how to tell them and like I don't want them to think of me differently”
“That's okay, I think sooner rather than later would be better, maybe today during dinner? During the announcements. Becky could help you, or even Beth or anyone you wanted, I could even just tell them and we wouldn't need to discuss it if you wanted.”
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mrsparrasblog · 26 days
Text
You're losing me pt 4.
prev part. part 1 next part
TW: Drug use, mentioned rape, mention of violence, medic is the worst human on earth
Simon sat down next to Johnny on his bed, holding the Scotsman's hand while giving him a reassuring nod. "We have the whole day time."
"It's complicated."
"I will understand."
"Promise to believe me."
"Promise." Simon didn't know exactly what had happened or how Johnny got this way. He always admired Johnny for his confidence and the way he made everything seem so easy. Seeing his boyfriend like this broke his heart. He knew Johnny would never cheat on you; he loved you, everyone loved you. He remembered that one day Johnny got piss drunk on a mission and a bird approached him. He showed her pictures of you for 10 minutes, telling everyone he had the most beautiful lass on earth. This man wouldn’t cheat, especially not with her, definitely not his type.
Simon thought she had just gone into Johnny's bed at night, removing her clothes and gaslighting him that he cheated. But when Johnny told him everything about the drugs, about the rape, about the way she tried to blackmail him, he felt like he needed to throw up. He was too young to protect his mother from this. He couldn’t do anything when it happened to him. He didn’t know you when it happened to you. But this time, he was going to kill the rapist. "You’re a good man. Don’t let her manipulate you into something you aren’t."
"I feel like shit."
"This won’t go away easy, love."
"I don’t know what to do." And he really didn’t know. Everything seemed and felt so lost. Simon believed him, right? But what if she tells everyone he raped her? It will be over with his military career. After she pulled that stunt you wouldn’t believe him anymore. The look in your eyes almost broke him completely. This was wrong. It went too easy for her like she had done this many times before or had been planning this for years. It was too easy.
"Let me fix it for you, Johnny." He was determined to do this. Through his head already went 1000 ideas on how to kill her. But every way was too easy, too nice for her. Rip her head off. Sell her off to the black market so she will experience first-hand the crimes she did to others. Burn her alive. Many possibilities.
"Don’t kill her, Lieutenant."
"You know she will do it again. Not only to you but to others."
"Do you think she already did this?" Johnny fiddled with his wrist. The bracelet that you bought him to help with his ADHD was gone. It always calmed him. You told him how you searched through whole Etsy to find some gems that should calm him down. He didn’t believe this shit, but it indeed calmed him down since it reminded him of you. And right now, you were the only thing he needed. He needed you to tell him that he isn’t dirty, that he isn’t at fault, that he is a good man.
"Would explain why she was transferred so fast to us from her old unit."
"Fuck." This needed to stop. He couldn’t let that happen to more innocent people.
"Let’s talk to Price, then I’ll take care of her, and after that, we get our girl back." Simon missed you just as much as Johnny did. For a split second, he was afraid that you were mad and disappointed that he didn’t check on you. But that wasn’t the selfless girl he fell in love with. He knew you would understand if you only knew. He could already imagine how you would apologize even though you didn’t do anything wrong. You were different than the medic scum.
"Do you think she’ll take us back?"
"Yes, promise." He placed a small kiss on the shaved part of Johnny's mohawk, a small gesture that the Scot always loved. Simon always knew how to calm him down. With that, they left in the direction of Price's office.
-------------------------------
He woke up with an immense headache and the urge to throw up. John really drank too much the last few days, but this will end now. He will concentrate on you and the job again. You forgave him for lying, at least that was the last thing he remembered before you brought him to his bed. On his bedside table stood a glass of water and one of your self-made brownies with a small note. "Take care of yourself, bear." You always jokingly called him a bear because that was what he was to you. John was the big cuddly bear who always kept you safe.
He knew by the amount of alcohol he drank yesterday, he should probably head to the medical department for some meds. He would never tell anyone, though. He was a hypocrite sometimes, always letting the other hungover soldiers run miles to torture them for being so irresponsible to drink before training. But he could afford the luxury of taking meds against his hangover.
So John went to the medical. He was annoyed when he only saw her there.
"Hello, Captain." She smiled brightly, which made him almost throw up on the spot. There was always a difference between the real, sweet-like-a-cake, like his girl, and the artificial acting sweetness she faked. It was disgusting. "Is there another medic or nurse in here today?"
"No, sorry, Captain."
"I'll go then."
"Come on, Captain, be professional. What do you need?"
"Just something against my hangover." He can be professional and still respect you, right? You won’t be mad he talked to her.
"That was easy. I'll bring you something."
She came back, still with that creepy artificial sweet smile. In her hand was a glass of water with, judging by the displaced white particles, meds. "Just some pain meds against headache and dehydration. Drink up, Captain, and then stay here for 20 minutes for the next med."
John drank it up. After a few minutes of sitting in the chair, he felt his limbs tingle weirdly. This must be one of those side effects of the meds.
"How are you feeling, baby?" Weird name.
"Don’t call me that." He tried to leave, but it felt like his body didn’t do the things he wanted anymore like he was paralyzed.
"I wouldn’t do that, John."
"What was in there?" This can’t be fucking true. This is one of those weird drunk dreams.
"Oh, baby, just some mild paralyzer. Don’t worry, it only lasts three hours, and you can still talk. That’s great, isn’t it? Oh, and Viagra."
Fuck, this is true. This is how she got Johnny. She is fucking sick. "What do you want?"
"You know, I really tried to be nice, but you all only talk about her all the time, so I took matters into my own hands." She said as she slowly sat down on his lap. John tried hard to do anything, but he wasn’t able to move.
"Look, you’re a pretty girl. You don’t need us. There is someone who loves you." He tried to be nice, and use his words to come out of this situation, but she already removed his pants. He knew it was over there until he heard the sudden voices of Johnny and Simon. He knew she could never outsmart them, and she knew it too.
"Fuck, fuck," she screamed, gathering the remaining meds and her things. She ran out of the room the second she saw the door open.
"Fucking hell, Captain, you're okay?"
"That fucking cunt drugged me. Get a fucking nurse here." This all didn’t go like Simon's plan. It felt like she was always a step ahead of them.
----------------------------------------
Kyle didn't notice any of the drama going on in medical as he used his time in the gym. Well, more of texting you instead of being productive, until.
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"Fucking hell."
------
Tag list: @littlechomper @ab12305 @darkangel4121
A/N: I know you are waiting for her downfall, it will come promise.
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sunny44 · 7 months
Text
Lights out and together we go
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Girlfriend (or future wife)! reader
Warnings: max and reader getting deunk, mentions of sex and another stuffs
Summary: Where Max and y/n think it's a good idea to get married drunk in Vegas.
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Y/n and I arrived in Vegas a day earlier than planned; she had never been there and wanted to explore the city. We were in the paddock now, and I was finishing adjusting my racing suit to get ready for the race. As I closed it, I felt someone hugging me from behind, and I knew it was my girlfriend.
"Hi, love," she whispered, and I smiled.
"Hi, love. Everything okay?" I turned around, and she smiled.
“Yes, just came to wish you good luck."
"Good thing you didn't forget." I smiled, bending down to her level. She smiled in the middle of the kiss.
"Good luck, and take care." She ran her hand through my hair and gave me another quick kiss before going to the spot where she would watch the race.
On the track, I got into the car and prepared for what could be the best or worst race of the year.
"MAX VERSTAPPEN, YOU ARE THE FIRST WINNER OF THE LAS VEGAS GRAND PRIX," my engineer shouted on the radio, and I celebrated.
I stopped the car in the first position and got out, seeing the team and my girlfriend among them. She was much smaller than everyone, so she was hidden among the mechanics.
"You won," she said excitedly, hugging me.
"Yeah, after almost dying a few times." She slapped my arm, and I laughed, kissing her and then weighing in before heading to the podium.
...
Now, we were in a club celebrating the victory with the team. Y/n was chatting animatedly with Kika about something I wasn't paying attention to, and I had my arm around her waist as she stood in front of me.
"Do you wanna dance?" She asked in my ear, and even though I'm not a big fan, I knew how much she enjoyed it, so I agreed.
As the hours passed, we were more than drunk, still dancing together and completely sweaty.
"You know," she said, and I knew something crazy was coming. "There's a chapel nearby."
"You want to get married in Vegas?"
"Don't you?"
"Married to you, yes, but I never thought you'd want to do it here." I held her tighter and kissed her neck. "But I would never refuse to marry you, so..."
"Shall we?" I laughed and agreed.
[…]
I woke up with a throbbing headache and a persistent ringing in my ears. I opened my eyes, looked around and saw the ridiculous decoration of the hotel room that wasn't ours.
I looked at Y/n lying next to me, and under the red sheet, we were both naked. I searched for my phone and saw it lying on the floor with a cracked screen.
When I unlocked it, I noticed several missed calls from Christian and messages from Daniel. I replied to them and put it aside again.
I got up to go to the bathroom and laughed seeing that the bed was heart-shaped. I entered the bathroom and saw marks on my neck and back, and some flashes of the previous night came back as I smiled, remembering a bit.
"What the hell happened last night?" I murmured to myself. After going to the bathroom, I returned to the room, and my girlfriend was sitting on the bed with wide eyes, staring at the floor.
"What happened?" She didn't say anything, and I approached her, touching her shoulder, which brought her out of the trance. "Is everything okay?"
"We have a problem." She said, and I waited for her to continue. "Two problems, actually."
"What are they?"
"We're married." She said, and I widened my eyes.
"What?"
"We're married, Max." She lifted her hand, showing the ring.
It was the ring I had bought a while ago to propose, but I hadn't had the chance to do it, at least not in the way I felt was ideal.
I approached her and took her hand, looking at the ring that I was preparing to use for a proposal. It was now on her finger after apparently getting married drunk in Vegas.
"But that doesn't mean anything." I said nervously.
"What do you mean nothing? There's a ring on my finger, Max, it can only mean one thing." She said, raising only in her panties and grabbing my shirt from the floor.
"It could mean that we're just engaged." I said quickly, and she looked at me.
"And where did this ring come from then?"
"It's mine." I said, and she widened her eyes. "It's yours, actually. I bought it a few months ago because I had plans to propose to you, but I hadn't felt there was an ideal moment yet. Apparently, my drunk self thought it was the right time."
I felt on the bed completely outraged by my stupidity in ruining something important.
"Maxie," she said affectionately, and I felt her hand on my face as she sat on my lap. "You know I don't care about these big things."
"I know, but I wanted it to be something special, not us drunk and sweaty in Vegas." She smiled and gave me a peck. "Is everything okay?"
"It's okay." She kissed my forehead and hugged me. After a few minutes, she got up and grabbed her phone. "Max."
"Yeah?"
"You didn't propose to me."
"What?"
"We're already married." She showed several pictures of us in the chapel set up in the paddock, both clearly drunk, being married by an Elvis.
"We're crazy." I said seriously, and she started laughing. "What are you laughing at?"
"Why are we making such a drama?"
"What do you mean?"
"We were happy; you already planned to propose to me, and I would have accepted." She said calmly. "I love you, and I would marry you any way, no matter where or how."
"Really?" She nodded, and I hugged her.
"Really." I gave her a peck, and we hugged.
"You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I'm very happy to be your husband, Mrs. Verstappen."
"And I'm also very happy to be your wife, Mr. Verstappen."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Maxie."
[…]
Since the race was on the Saturday night, today at Sunday night, we have dinner with all the drivers, organized by Charles to celebrate our first Vegas race. I was sitting on the bed looking at the photos of our "wedding," laughing at our pictures.
"How do I look?" She came out of the bathroom and ran her hands over her dress.
She was wearing a red strapless dress with glitter, and her hair was pulled back.
"WOW, you look beautiful." I said, getting up and going to her.
"Thank you, so do you." She said, adjusting the collar of my shirt.
"Can we go?" She agreed, and we went to the private room that Charles had rented. When we entered, everyone was already there.
"Good evening, everyone." She smiled and started greeting everyone. I went to where Charles, Carlos, and Lando were.
"I have a serious question." Lando said coming near me. "Look I get why you’re with her, I mean I have a soft spot for brunettes too. What I don’t get is why she likes you? I mean look at her."
"Haha very funny. But now you can stop fangirling my wife."
"Wait did you say wife?" Charles asked, and I cursed myself and my big mouth.
"Fuck." I said. "Look, Y/n and I agreed to keep this a secret so just pretend I didn’t tell you guys."
"Okay but tell us the story." Carlos asked.
"Well, we got drunk after celebrating my win, and then apparently we got married in the F1 chapel by some guy dressed as Elvis." They started laughing. "It’s not funny; I was pretending to propose to her the way she deserved and not just marrying in Vegas and fuck her after and not remembering later."
"Okay stop right now, we don’t need all the details of your night."
"Well, if you look at my back, you will imagine how it went." I said, showing them.
"Oh wow, now I’m interested.”
"Max." She said coming to me. "Hi, boys."
"Hello, Mrs. Ver..." I widened my eyes at Lando. "Actually, now that I've noticed, your eyes are blue."
"They are."
"They are beautiful." He said.
"You know I'm committed, right?" She said confused by his behavior.
"I know." He said nervously. "I'm going to get a drink."
"Is he okay?" She wondered turning to me.
"You know how he is, not used to drinking."
"Neither are we." She said laughing.
...
It's Monday and we're leaving Vegas after a hectic and crazy weekend. We're going to Abu Dhabi for the last race of the year.
"Did you see the news this morning?"
"That our marriage was revealed." She nodded. "Yes, I saw, I'm sorry."
"No need to feel sorry; I'm not ashamed that people know I married the love of my life," she said, giving me a kiss. "It's okay, don't worry."
"Okay." I said, kissing her forehead, and remembered something she said that morning.
"Remember you said we had two problems but got distracted by the marriage thing? What was the other one?"
"Oh my God, I had forgotten." She said nervously. "It's that we had sex without protection, and I'm in my fertile period."
"What? Is that serious?"
"Yes."
"My God, we're going to have a baby."
"Not necessarily, it doesn't mean I'll get pregnant."
"But what if you do?"
"We'll have a mini Verstappen in a few months."
"Okay, we won't come to Vegas ever again." She laughed, and we boarded the jet heading to Abu Dhabi.
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Bonus scene!
Y/nverstappen Instagram stories
“Yes I’ve changed my user and now I’m Mrs. Verstappen”
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angel5ofp0rn · 23 days
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idk, just a thought 😋
141 x Drunk!Reader / Jealous!Ghost x Drunk!Reader
TW: implied drunk sex
(idk what’s up with me and making the reader drunk all the time ???)
also idk i just like the idea of Soap being a perv and Ghost being a fuckin weirdo 🫣
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You didn’t expect the guys to actually give a shit about your birthday... Maybe it was just the excuse to drink.
Still, you couldn't deny that you loved seeing the squad out of uniform and all dressed up for the night.
You even put on a little skirt and low-cut top, curled your hair and wore makeup for the first time in months.
Price bought you your first drink just as a 'happy birthday, kiddo', but it didn't stop there.
Soap got you a few shots and Gaz let you sip from his drinks throughout the night.
You were feeling pretty buzzed by the time you convinced some of the guys to move to the dance floor.
Ghost watched quietly from his spot at the bar across the room. You expected as much.
The two of you have been keeping your distance; you were basically still strangers, apart from the random glances you give each other during training.
Ghost thought of at least saying happy birthday to you, but he wasn’t sure how to go about it.
He wasn’t exactly an affectionate man. Wasn’t great at showing his feelings.
Feelings? The fuck was he thinking?
You’re just nice to look at, that’s all.
It was strange seeing you with your hair curled and your skin showing, almost like a real woman. He had a nagging thought that if the guys weren’t around, he would've gone over to you.
You and Soap are on the dance floor, you tipsy and swaying while he holds your waist, keeping you steady as he mumbled something close to your ear.
"I don't think so." You muse, looking up at Soap. He had asked if Price was watching the two of you, knowing Price has a tendency to act like a father towards you especially. "Why?"
Soap took a moment before he spoke again, the alcohol clearly getting to him. His words were becoming more and more slurred throughout the night, although he still had that Scottish accent mixed it that kept him sounding charming... though almost unintelligible.
"Y'know yer beautiful, aye? An' th' lads, they've been eyein' ya for the whole night. 'Course ol' Price, he's been' tryin' to keep us from gettin' yer attention… But even Ghost! Ghost thinks yer fuckin’ gorgeous.”
"Ghost thinks that?" You tried to focus your eyes on Soap’s, fighting the alcohol.
Soap leaned in even close now, his breath smelling like strong liquor. He even placed his hand on the small of your back, right above your skirt as he spoke again.
"Oh, aye. But we all do… I do."
You giggled at that. Soap's arm wrapped tightly around your waist now, pulling you chest to chest and murmuring more drunken ramblings into your ear.
You quickly forgot what Soap mentioned about Ghost.
But Ghost was still watching.
He watched the way Soap leaned in to whisper in your ear, the cocky smirk on his face, how dangerously close his hand was to your ass.
He watched you drape your arms around Soap’s neck, eyelids heavy. He watched how your eyes wouldn’t focus on Soap’s eyes; they kept darting down to his lips.
Ghost didn’t watch to watch anymore.
“The steamin’ hell’r you doin’, LT!” Soap calls after Ghost as the masked man grabs your arm and drags you off.
“Let me go!” You groan, trying to pull away from his grip. When that didn’t work, you tried to stomp his toes.
No use, he had those fucking steel toes on as usual. After more ignored pleas, you resorted into trying to drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes; like an unruly toddler.
Ghost didn’t miss a beat. He easily scooped you up and slung you over his shoulder as he head towards the bar’s exit.
The second he set you back to your feet outside on the pavement you tried to shove him.
Stupid idea, really. Fucker didn’t budge.
“What is your problem?” You glare at him.
“My problem?” Ghost’s voice was low. “You were about to let MacTavish feel you up in front of everyone in there.”
“Who cares if Soap and I have a bit of fun? What, are you jealous or something?” You groan.
“Of course I am!”
You froze. Your eyes locked in with his.
“You’re… jealous?” You ask again, softer this time.
You can see the subtle movement of Ghost’s jaw clenching beneath his balaclava.
“You’re drunk.” Ghost states. “You should get back to base and sleep it off.”
He’s right, of course. But you don’t listen.
You don’t fully realize you’re doing it, but you reach your hand up and touch his face.
Well, his mask.
Ghost’s breath hitches, and he thinks of swatting your hand away but he doesn’t. He lets your cup his face. Caress his jaw. Rub your thumb over the fabric covering his lips.
He even lets you pull him in closer, lets you get just an inch away from touching noses before he speaks again.
“I cant kiss you.”
You finally come back to earth, your drunken mind suddenly sobering.
“Oh.”
The two of you stare at each other for a moment, both silent. Both unsure of what happens now.
“Guess I’ll just go-”
“I want to.” Ghost speaks again. “I would like to.”
“Okay…”
“But I can’t.” His huge arms cross as he looks down at up. For something so genuine, he’s saying it as if it’s a threat.
“Right…” You nod slowly, your drunken brain trying its best to gauge what’s happening. “So..?”
“I can’t have you flirting with MacTavish.” He practically growls. “He doesn’t want more than a quick fuck.”
You frown at this, eyebrows lowering into a scowl.
“So you won’t kiss me, but I can’t flirt with anyone else?”
“Yes.” Ghost acts as if this was common sense.
“‘s’not fair.” You roll your eyes. “You can’t do that t’me.”
“Well, I am.”
“Are not.” You challenge. You push past him and re-enter the bar, leaving him outside and alone.
“Bonnie!” Soap calls you over as soon as he sees you.
He’s sat at a table with a bunch of other men that you don’t recognize. He pats his thigh, inviting you to have a sit on his lap.
Ghost’s warning still fresh in your head makes you hesitate.
But who is he to tell you who you can and can’t flirt with? He doesn’t even talk to you.
You try not to stumble as you make your way towards Soap, accepting the invite to sit on his lap. His arm instantly wraps around your waist, holding you in place.
“Didn’t know you had a barracks bunny.” One of the men snickers as he looks you over.
You frown, looking to Soap, waiting for him to correct them. To explain that you’re actually on the squad- no, the best sniper on the squad. An asset to the team, really.
Instead, Soap laughs along with the rest of them, giving your thigh a squeeze. “Nah, nah. ’m keepin’ this bunny all to m’self.”
You had to have heard him wrong, right? Maybe it was the alcohol affecting your hearing.
Before you could defend yourself, you felt Soap’s hand sliding up your thigh, slipping under your skirt.
Your face is burning. The guys all laugh. You feel sick.
Flirting and kissing is one thing… Soap treating you like a sex toy is another.
“Soap, stop.” You mumble, pushing his hand away.
Soap gives you a wink. He thinks you’re playing some sort of game here. His hand starts to creep up your bare thigh again. His lips press against your neck.
“I said stop!” You stand up and shove him by his chest, admittedly harder than you intended to.
Soap landed on his back on the dirty bar floor, his face a mix of pissed off and confused.
Price was by your side immediately, pulling you away from the table as Gaz helped Soap to his feet.
“I’m sorry, Price, I just-“
“I’ve got you a cab outside. Get your ass back to base and sleep it off.” Price barked.
Sober you could handle commands and threats like they were nothing.
Drunk you started tearing up immediately.
Price mumbled something that sounded like ‘for fuck’s sake, kid’ as you turned and walked outside.
Ghost was still outside, balaclava lifted so he could smoke a cigarette.
You didn’t notice him as you slid into the back seat of the cab, but he saw you.
Then he saw Soap and Price exiting the bar one your cab took off.
He watched calmly, smoking as normal while Price stood with his foot on the side of Soap’s head/face, Soap’s cheek pressed against the pavement.
He couldn’t hear what they were fighting about and frankly he didn’t care. He wondered if any of it had been the cause of your teary eyes.
•••
You lift your face off of your pillow and squint at the caller ID as your phone rang.
You’d only been back in your room for about an hour at this point and you’ve been trying to battle the spins.
You swipe to answer the call, smushing your face back into the pillow and closing your eyes again.
“H’llo?”
“Make it back to base okay, kiddo?” Price’s stern, gruff voice came through the speaker
“Mhm.” You mumble your response.
“Good. Sorry about MacTavish; drunken Scot can’t handle his alcohol…” Price sighs. “He’ll be dealt with in the morning.”
“s’okay.” You nod even though he can’t see it.
“You sure you’re alright then?”
“Mhm…”
Price exhaled a deep breath. “Get some shut eye. I'll be seeing you at 0530 sharp for PT."
"Yes sir. Love you."
You didn't fully realize that you told Price that you love him as if you were speaking to your dad.
Price was quiet for a second before his tone subtly shifted to sounding more gentle. "Love you too, kid. I'll see you at five-thirty."
You end the call and force yourself to sit up despite your still tipsy state. You knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep with everything on your mind.
Well… with Ghost on your mind.
You call him next, not really expecting him to answer at all. He kind of doesn’t; there’s no voice on the other end, but you could tell he was there.
“Ghost?”
“Yeah.”
“So- Why… why didn’t you kiss me?” You stand up off of the bed and pace your room. More like stumble around your room.
“Can’t.”
“But why?” You groan. “Is it because of Price?”
“We work together.”
“So?” You find a hoodie and pull it on over your going out clothes. “That didn’t stop Soap.”
Silence.
“And I… I really wanted you to, y’know? And… I think I said ‘love you’ to Price. Y’think he’ll be mad at me?” You start kicking your heels off.
“…you told Price that you love him?”
You kind of giggle at that, hearing it back. “No, I didn’t tell him I love him. I just said ‘love you’ to him.”
You think you hear Ghost snort at that. “Are we done here?”
“Well, no…”
“What do you want?”
“I want you to open your door.”
Ghost doesn’t speak. You look around the hall to make sure none of the guys would see you.
“Please?”
The call ends. Ghost slowly opens his door and peers at you from the small open space.
You look up at him, messy hair and mascara smudged under your eyes. Your hoodie covered most of your outfit and you were barefoot.
“You look ridiculous.”
“Can I come in?” You ignore his comment.
Ghost hesitates but he does step aside and let you into his room.
It was so dark in his room that you almost didn’t notice that he was maskless. Too bad you couldn’t see him better.
You didn’t really know what you planned on doing now that you were in his room… You honestly didn’t think he’d let you get this far.
Ghost’s hand touched your face. His thumb wiped under your eyes, attempting to fix your makeup.
The gesture was considerate though you knew he was just making the smudge bigger.
“I can’t kiss you.” Ghost repeated his words from earlier, but this time it was softer. More gentle.
You shook your head.
“We don’t have to kiss.”
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miley1442111 · 11 days
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hi! Can you do a Spencer x fem reader where it's her birthday and he promised her he would be there for the party even if there was a case and he calls her right as the party starts and she's so excited and asks him if he's on his way but he says no and he's sorry but there's an important case and he can't make it and she is absolutely CRUSHED but tells him it's ok and she has to go. She can't really focus or be happy during her party and when it's over she's crying in their bed and then her best friend calls Spencer and yells at him bc reader thinks he will always love his job more than her and that the BAU is his priority and he just feels so awful. He comes home early and apologizes and gives her his gifts he got for her and pampers her and makes her feel so loved.
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birthday blues (part one)- s.reid
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a/n: i absolutely adore this idea! thank you so much for requesting and sorry that we didn't get to the happy ending yet... but we will eventually!
summary: spencer makes a choice that leaves you alone on an important day and causes something in your relationship breaks.
pairing: spencer reid x fem reader
warnings: birthday blues, spencer's an ass, your best friend calls spencer a lot of names and curse words, talks of breaking up, no happy ending :(
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Your phone rang and you knew what it was. There you were surrounded by your friends in your apartment, getting ready for your birthday party, and your stupid boyfriend had to ruin it all. 
You picked up. “Hey Spencer,” you sighed, but attempted to mask it with a smile. 
You could hear the deep inhale on his end and it solidified what you already knew. “You can’t come, right?” You said it for him. 
“I’m so sorry,” he sighed. “It’s just-“
“Another case. I get it Spencer, it’s fine,” you lied. 
The line was quiet for a moment. 
“Happy birthday,” he said sheepishly. “I love you.”
You scoffed. For a profiler, he wasn’t exactly good at noticing things. Like the subtle shake in your voice, or the small hiccups of tears you tried (and failed) to suppress when you hung up the phone without saying you loved him. 
You turned to your best friend Rebecca, a sad look on your face. “He’s not coming.”
She rolled her eyes. “He’s such a fucking asshole. When is he ever going to just show up for you? It’s your birthday for god’s sake. He missed when you got promoted, he missed your gallery opening, he missed your anniversary and he’s missing your birthday? Why are you even with him?” 
You felt the pressure build up in your throat and she pulled you into your bathroom and held you as you sobbed. She sent everyone home, saying you were sick and she called the restaurant and cancelled the reservation. You got out of the dress Spencer had bought you, a beautiful wine colour that complimented you in all the right places. You sat in your bed and cried for hours as Rebecca comforted you with old Disney movies you two watched as kids and your favourite ice cream and some salty popcorn. 
“I just feel like he values his job over me… like I don’t even make top 4 in his list of priorities,” you sighed, your eyes glued to ‘Tangled’ as it played. “Like… look at him! He’s so in love with her!” You pointed at the screen and Rebecca had to surprise a laugh over you being jealous of Flynn Rider and Rapunzel, two fictional characters. “Don’t laugh at me!” You scoffed at her, shoving her in the arm as she started giggling.
“I’m not!” She said through laughter. She alighted made you laugh, and you two were stuck like that for a few minutes, laughing so hard you could hardly breathe. “Ok! Ok! Look, to be serious, you deserve so much better than Spencer. You need someone who cares about you more than his job, someone who can actually be here when you need him.”
You nodded along, the weight of her words heavy on your mind.
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When you finally cried yourself to sleep Rebecca took your phone from your bedside table and dialled his number. 
“Hey love, are you alright?-“ he started but she cut him off.
“I’m so glad I’m finally meeting you, even if it’s just over the phone because now I know what a fucking asshole sounds like. You idiotic bitch. Stop calling Y/n and let her be with someone who cares enough to be there for important things in her life. Who cares enough to meet her friends. Who cares about her in the slightest!” She argued over the line. “She spent her entire birthday night in her bed crying over you, when she should’ve been out with her family and friends. You’re such a dick!” She seethed. “So yeah, stop calling this number.”
The line went dead and Spencer felt his heart drop. You’d spent your special night crying over him. 
He was an asshole. 
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He’d booked the first flight out of Denver and told Hotch it was important, he understood and allowed him to go. 
He showed up outside your apartment bright and early, 5am in the morning. Rebecca opened the door and promptly shut it in his face, something he knew he deserved but it still hurt nonetheless. 
“Please can I just talk to her?” He begged from his side of the door. 
“She’s asleep,” she scoffed. “Why are you here?”
“I need to see her,” he pleaded, and Rebecca cracked the door. “Please Rebecca.”
“Give me a good reason,” she said as you walked out of the bedroom.
“Who’s at the door?” you yawned and Rebecca sighed as Spencer started begging you to open the door. 
“Is that you baby? C-can you open the door? I’m so sorry baby I didn’t mean to-”
“Rebecca open the door.”
She sighed but obliged and stepped out as Spencer stepped in. Immediately, you were in his arms as he kissed you softly, apologies rolling off his tongue in between kisses. As much as you enjoyed him being in your arms, it still felt superficial and wrong. His face fell when you pushed him off of you. His eyes followed your figure as you walked to the kitchen and put on the white kettle that sat beside the coffee machine he’d gotten you last year. 
“What are you doing here?” you sniffled, posture and body language guarded as you waited for the water to boil. 
“It’s your birthday,” he shrugged with a sad smile. “I wanted to be with you.”
“You were perfectly happy leaving me alone 11 hours ago. What changed?” 
“I realised I messed up, and some choice words from Rebecca helped me along,” he sighed. How was he supposed to fix this? 
Guilt started to settle in your stomach. Were you really right to be upset right now? Even since you were a child you were told to ‘be grateful’. You were told to ‘be grateful’ when you stopped getting presents when you were 11, when you stopped getting cards when you were 14, when you watched your dad shower his other children from his new marriage with gifts while he didn’t even notice you in his house. You should be grateful that Spencer was even wishing you a happy birthday earlier, how could you be so ungrateful?
“You should be on the case, I’ll order you a taxi back to the airport and I’ll pay you back for the ticket-” you rushed out, reaching for your phone but Spencer’s hand stopped you.
“I want to be here,” he pleaded. “Please don’t make me go away.”
You looked up at him through teary eyes and his hand came up to cup your cheek, wiping the tears away. 
“I’m so sorry I ever thought it was ok to miss your birthday. You are the single most important thing in my life and I’m sorry that I’m not here as much as I’d like to be,” he smiled softly, but you could tell he was serious. You allowed yourself to be lost in the fantasy for a moment, being the most important thing in Spencer’s life. 
But, as always, reality sunk in and it left a sour taste in your mouth, leading to another change in body language which Spencer picked up on immediately. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Spencer, your job always takes priority over us- over me. Which is fine. I know my place. Just please don’t make promises you can’t keep from now on, okay? My parents were dying to meet you, and now I had to cancel the entire dinner. I just… I know you can’t be here all the time, but I do expect you to show up for things like this. I don’t care when you miss anniversaries or my promotions-”
Spencer’s heart dropped. “Y-you got promoted… and you never told me?” 
“You were in New York,” you shrugged. “On a case with no end in sight. Why should I make your life harder?”
“You’d never make my life harder. You make my life worth it, worth all the shit I do. I want you to tell me everything baby, always-”
“Spencer, it’s okay to say that you’re inconvenienced by our relationship,” you said in a watery chuckle. “I understand, and I’d get it if you’re too busy for this.”
Spencer’s breath caught in his throat. Were you really suggesting breaking-up? 
“I think we should talk another time Spencer, I’ll drive you to your apartment,” you sighed, grabbing your keys. Spencer was much too exhausted and in shock to put up a fight, so he followed you to your car. 
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The drive was silent, but full of an awkward silence. Silences with Spencer had never been awkward, always pleasant, or comforting. Never awkward. 
When you dropped him off outside his apartment, he leaned over to kiss you, but you dodged him with a hug. You felt as a small, internal sob racked his body but tried to convince yourself that it was just a hiccup. 
What were you going to do?
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criminal minds masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, marvel, top gun, challengers, the bear, the hunger games, obx+)
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shiny-jr · 10 months
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Get you a guy with thighs bigger than yours.
- Warning: Gender-neutral reader. 
- Characters: König.
- Summary: Thick thighs do not save lives.
- Note: This came about because I was just talking crazy in the dms with a mutual. I originally wasn't going to ever let this see the light of day, but then I decided, why the hell not? If I get smacked with delayed embarrassment, I'll just delete. Yeah, I know this isn't what I usually write and post, but oh well. Anyways, after this, we will be back to our regular scheduled content shortly. Oh, and sorry for minor mistakes, I wrote this like at midnight.
. . .
You decided to put a movie on. Just for a distraction. After about an hour into the movie, the leather couch got a bit uncomfortable since it stuck to your skin. So you slunk down to the floor, bringing a pillow or two down with you to use in case extra comfort was needed. The movie was beginning to lose your attention, but you still watched the screen attentively as if you were still focused on the film's plot.
What ended up catching your attention, was the slight shifting couch. Well, slight probably wasn't the correct word, as the movement was anything but light. It was safe to assume the shifting was from a guy who was well over 200 Ibs and a few inches short of 7 ft, although you didn't know the exact numbers because you never wanted to ask König outright.
It was easier to hear the movement, as the large figure scoot a few inches over. Instead of sitting beside you like he was a few seconds earlier, he had not so discreetly moved to take your vacant spot and sit directly behind you. He tried to stay quiet, he really did, but it wasn't so easy for him given his size. At the very least, he treaded carefully, not bumping your back once with his legs or accidentally knocking the back of your skull with his kneecaps.
You didn't move, but your eyes slowly glanced downward, where you could see the tip of his boots. Custom made, as most department stores didn't carry anything in his size. Most articles of clothing he had were custom-made or bought in special stores, save for that odd black diy mask he often wore over his head like a hood to hide himself from the world. Too afraid to lean back and accidentally make contact and disturb this fragile peace, you remain still despite the slight ache in your lower back that make you want to lean back and stretch. But you don't. All you could do was try to revert your attention back to the movie and not think any unholy thoughts, that is, until you heard more movement.
To not bump his knees against you, Konig spread his legs a bit and leaned down. The edges of his homemade cloth mask brushed against your back as you stiffened up, and you could make out the shape of his head beside yours as he whispered, "Do you, uh, want some...?"
Yes. "What???"
"Popcorn? Do you want some popcorn...??"
Oh.
After deciding whether or not you'd accept his offer, silence ensued, only fueled by the movie playing on the television. You weren't gonna lie, you have no idea what the hell was going on in the story anymore. A solid minute passed when he spoke again, sounding just as unsure as the first time. He spoke, as if whatever thoughts he had on his mind earlier where left to simmer for long enough.
"Scheiße. Sorry, should I have not moved here...? You can still lean back if you want?"
"Oh, okay... I, um, I'll do that."
Your back was starting to ache a little from sitting up without support, so, feeling just as awkward as he was feeling, you leaned your back against the couch. Instantly, as soon as you did that, your peripheral vision was covered by his knees and part of his legs. The movie was pretty much pointless now, as you were currently wondering whether you should thank whatever gods existed or curse them for the fact that König did not have shorts on. Even without shorts and with specially fitted cargo pants, they could not conceal the insane bulk of his legs. Especially his thighs. Good lord. The two pillows you brought down before from the couch were essentially useless now because on each side of your head were his limbs that rivaled the best of My Pillow.
Think of something else, anything else, is what you tried to tell yourself.
That idea would go out the window as soon as you felt something in your hair. Carefully twisting a few strands, you felt some thick and calloused fingers gently try and feel the texture of your hair. But it lasted only for a brief second, as he immediately pulled his hands away and murmured a tiny bit louder from his whisper earlier, "Ah, sorry, I should've asked first. I should not have done that. I am sorry––"
"It's okay, I... don't mind." You shrugged it off, and much to your surprise and contentment, he continued.
The first few seconds had a bit more hesitancy, but as time ticked by, seconds turned to minutes, his boldness increased. It started with his large hands carefully feeling the texture of your hair, then it became slow brush strokes as his thick fingers ever-so-carefully untangled knots in your stands of hair. Until eventually it escalated, and he gathered the courage to do something so bold as to scratch your skull. He could easily take your entire face in one hand and crush your skull, but he didn't. There was no sign of any such roughness. Instead, his fingers and nails continued to comb through your hair, lightly scratching your scalp. At first when he did this, he paused, and waited for any objections or signals of a negative reaction, but after no such thing, he continued and seemed pleased.
It was after about five-minutes and heavy mental debating in your mind that you decided to suck it up and go for it. What's the worst that could happen? Honestly, you didn't even expect to make it this far.
So, after taking in a breath, you let your head fall to the side. It wasn't like those romantic scenes where you watch the character lean their head against a love interest's shoulder. Oh no, you were skipping that part, your ear landed right on his thigh. Which was probably due to the cushion you placed underneath you on the floor that elevated you a few extra inches, or else you might've missed. In that moment, right as the side of your head landed on its intended target, you felt him freeze. His fingers stopping, nails still on your scalp. A second passed, then two, then three, like time froze.
You were almost tempted to pry yourself off and apologize, but you really didn't want to. But you had to ask. "Is this alright...?"
"J-Ja... I mean, yes..."
Your eyes widened, and you were sure you had on some goofy kinda grin but at least you weren't facing him so he couldn't tell. Once you heard his response, your shoulders slumped, relieved of tension you didn't even know you were carrying.
Even with your head against his thigh that wasn't plush but was still definitely comfortable, you realize you were no better than a man as you resisted the urge to just reach out and squeeze his other thigh that had gotten closer without you even realizing it. You had to dig your nails into your knee to prevent yourself from acting on impulse.
It was definitely almost pure muscle from what you could tell with your head on one of them. Firm but somehow still soft. Thick thighs, in fact, do not save lives, because these thighs have ended who knows how many between them in finishing moves on the battlefield. Lucky bastards. Trying your luck agian, you place a shaky hand on his other thigh, but he didn't react. A good sign? Possibly?
Forget goth gfs and thick plush thighs, apparently giant anxious austrian soldiers with thighs as thick as tree trunks and strong enough to obliterate skulls like melons were the new fad.
Movie totally forgotten, your vision was entirely covered when König leaned down a bit from his spot on the couch and you tilted your head to look up and meet his gaze. The masked man stared at you, his blue eyes peering down at you through the two small slits cut into his mask for his eyes to see. His mask partially dangled, but not fully, so not revealing himself to you. When your gaze traveled away, abruptly his thighs got closer, squishing your cheeks and the sides of your face but not enough to hurt. Just a bit of pressure to get you to look up again.
Oh god.
There was literally no space between your face and his legs anymore, and your arms instinctively went to the outer side of his thighs to try and pry them apart a bit. You didn't try much, maybe because you enjoyed it or because you didn't exactly have strength strong enough to rival his, so all you could do was clutch the pockets of his cargo pants that were just above his knees, your nails digging in softly just to get a quick feel.
Once he saw he had your attention again after he applied a bit of pressure, he cocked his head to the side and continued to look down at you through half-lidded eyes darkened by the shadow of his hood. Then he spoke, but this time with no apprehension in his quiet tone.
"You do know I've ruined others that were in a similar position to what you are in right now?"
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raggedytiger · 3 months
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ragatha/agatha and pomni/penny human hcs!
(r)agatha:
is an english teacher!
yes she still loves horses. she used to ride them, & she loves old western movies.
owns cowboy hat and boots.
analytical and loves long & winding conversations.
has a very happy cat named sandwich.
patches her own clothes, doesn't have kids but if she did she would embroider their names into their belongings.
she still plays cello, she loves music in general, probably sings like an angel.
can't do any mathematics.
can drive, but like a lunatic. somehow has never had an accident though, so it's fine.
probably has a cute little baby blue/yellow car now, but definitely had a beat up offroader truck at some point that got put to good use. or maybe she still does, i'm not the boss.
total lesbian, a bit of a heartbreaker but not intentionally (women just keep falling for her)
goes to town/neighbourhood/community meetings. likely is/was in a knitting circle
absurd number of quilts in her home
pomni/penny:
is an accountant as we know, and cannot cook for shit as we know.
no pets she can barely take herself for walks. is more similar to a cat, but had a dog growing up. would love a collie or a dalmatian probably.
would name the dog something stupid like Thermometer Johnson.
she can drive, but nervously.
really quick thinker, like impressively, unless she's under HUGE amounts of stress. is literally always thinking at 100mph.
no sense of interior decor or personal style. all practical, kind of butch. really does kill a suit.
very much lesbian but not fully to terms with it. probably had short-lived relationships with men in which she was 'content' but didn't really care for it. seeing agatha as agatha for the first time was probably a crazy punch to her little gay heart. not to mention the cowboy gear.
autistic
watches 90s anime to wind down
listens to every single genre of music. passes a lot of time with headphones in, slowly making her way thru the entire world's discography
owns no band merch or anything though she just listens
can't sleep without a fan on, thunderstorm 12hr audio, blackout curtains, weighted blanket, water nearby
does not sleep a lot
both of them (going to call them pomni and ragatha for convenience):
didn't immediately recognise one another. i havent got an exact idea of how they reunited after getting out, but there were tears.
bonded in a very rare and unique way - they got to revel in the newfound joys of real life again. they got to eat delicious food, go on long, unobstructed walks in the real sun, be warmed by it, chew on ice cubes and shiver at the pain, listen to each other's heartbeats, listen to real music, read real books, smell soaps and flowers and sauces. they went to the supermarket together and read all the labels, and bought one of each type of fruit to try between them, and smelled all the candles, and touched all the blankets. spent a lot of time holding hands and kissing and i'm sorry to say, probably having sex, because holy shit, i'm real, you're real, we're real
now live together in ragatha's apartment, after pomni moved out of her small and confusingly-furnished flat.
both of them feel inadequate from time to time. this is resolved by a stern-but-loving talking-to.
sandwich likes pomni very much. pomni doesn't really get cats, but loves sandwich a great deal, and enjoys letting her sleep on her lap.
ragatha is very pleased to see her girls getting along.
ragatha cooks, pomni chops the veg. she often doesn't fuck it up
pomni cleans a lot as a 'thank you for letting me live here, i love you'. she's very much acts of service, ragatha is words & physical touch <3
they watch a lot of movies together. depending on how long they've been stuck, they might have culture to catch up on
ragatha wants to have a house with a garden one day. pomni starts germinating seeds from their fruit & veg like a weird science experiment. ragatha is delighted when she is presented with a baby tomato plant.
clothes are shared. ragatha's are bigger, but most of pomni's are ill-fitting anyway so it can go both ways. ragatha likes to dress pomni up in different outfits and have her do a little fashion show. pomni pretends not to savour the confidence boost.
pomni starts sleeping more
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ughsimpp · 4 months
Text
ATEEZ reaction when you hand him a couples toy
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Masterlist
I’m back for now but not sure if i’m officially back yet LOL but i miss y’all, hopefully y’all miss me (more like miss my post)
Hongjoong
You handed him a small box, he was puzzled when you had a gift prepared. He opened it and his eyes went wide. You bought a vibrator toy, it was the ones where you give your partner the remote and they can control the vibrations or speed of the toy that you’re wearing. You weren’t sure if he knew exactly what it was but the second you were about speak he handed you the toy.
“Go put this in.”
You grabbed it from him and was about to go into to the bathroom but he stopped you and told you to just do it in front of him. You removed your shorts and sat down on the couch, slowly inserted it in. It was cold to the touch but as soon as you moved your hand, you felt an automatic vibration. It was vibrating inside like crazy. You were gasping and whining at the sudden sensation. You felt it stop as Hongjoong walked closer to you, having that smug expression on his face.
“This is fun don’t you think? Why don’t we try it again a few more times mhm?”
Seonghwa
You and Seonghwa were getting ready for a date. You were still doing your makeup as Seonghwa was waiting in the bedroom. He waited until you were done and you came out wearing a black dress, showing off your curves. He was at an awe, he walked towards you and leaned in for a kiss. You both headed out and head to the restaurant. You both sat in the car for a bit so you thought it would be a good idea to hand him something, a remote.
"What's this?"
You sat quietly as he looked at the small remote. Confused as ever, he turned it on but noting was happening, that was until he looked up at you and you were squirming uncontrollably, you were breathing heavily as it it finally clicked in his head on what you handed him. Hwa had such a cheeky look on his face. You put yourself in this position so had to take advantage of this.
"Oh baby, you should have never handed me something so powerful."
Yunho
Yunho was sitting on the couch as you walked up to him. He figured you were up to something since you had that innocent but smug look on your face. You sat next to him and tossed him a remote, he looked at the remote and wondered was it for. You told him to turn it on as he did. You softly moaned as his eyes widen.
"Is this what I think it is?"
You nodded as he laughed, getting red from his cheeks to his ears. You whined for him to stop laughing. He tried to clam himself down but saw you making that 'face', he kissed your forehead and gave you a smile but soon that smile became a smirk. He tugged with the remote as you felt the vibration go faster. Your moans got louder as the toy repeatedly hit your sweet spot. Yunho turned it off and picked you up, heading to the bedroom.
"Let's put this toy to the test mhm?"
Yeosang
You and Yeosang's anniversary was tonight, he gifted things like new beauty products, snacks that you've been craving and a fuzzy blanket. As you handed him his present, he was excited. It was the jacket he's been wanting and matching pjs. There was a last gift at the bottom, he opened it and saw a remote. He asked you what it was for but you didn't say much but just for him to turn it on. He did but nothing happened, he put it on full max but still nothing.
"What is this for baby?"
Confused as he was, he looked at you and you were on the verge of crying, wasn't expecting him to put it on the max. You moaned his name to turn it off so you can speak up. His eyes widen as you told him and you coming down from your high. Him being cheeky as ever, he toyed with it again, turning it off and on. He was getting heated from hearing your whimpers and just the state you were in.
"I wonder how long you can last like this before you beg me to fuck you."
San
San, the sweet boy he is, never thought of doing more than missionary in bed. You thought it was time for him to explore. You ordered a toy online as it was gonna arrive in two days. You forgot about it coming in until you saw his text that you had a package. You rushed home and busted through the door, seeing him holding the box.
"Is this for us?"
You blushed from embarrassment and nodded, your eyes were down as San laughed. You thought he may think it was something stupid and a waste of money but you felt him pulled you in for a kiss. The kiss was hot as you felt something pressing against you. You pulled back as saw his bulge growing. He led you to the bedroom and pushed you down onto the bed. His eyes changed, normally they'll be sweet and kind but this time it was as if he was hungry.
"I can do a much better job than that little toy of yours."
Mingi
You and Mingi were roaming the outlet mall, shopping for clothes and what not. You told him you'll be right back and he nodded. You walked into a sex store and stopped at the vibrator section. Sex with him was amazing as always but You were thinking about getting something to spice things up. You paid and went back to Mingi who was standing outside. As you both got home, we rushed to the bedroom called him over. He walked over to you as you handed him the box. His eyes widen as he blushed.
"Is this what you went to go grab earlier? And you wanna try it now?"
You nodded and tried to look innocent but Mingi knew that face. He took off his glasses and smirked, you knew that look so you squealed and got on the bed. Excited to try something new but little did you know, Mingi had other plans with your "new toy". You felt something small and cold vibrating inside but in seconds felt him inside you as well. You gasped loudly and was unable to speak. Mingi was satisfied on how you looked beneath him. You looked at him with those innocent eyes again as he spoke.
"Fuck...don't try to be innocent with me now. Be a good girl, I know you can take it."
Wooyoung
You and Woo were sitting on the couch as you will on a usual Saturday. He was invested in the new K-drama 'Marry My Husband' while you on the other hand was horny and feeling uncomfortable. You had a little dirty secret and he wasn't aware of it. As the episode ended he asked for the remote to play the next part but instead of giving him to TV remote you had him something else. He didn't realize it and pressed the button as you moaned, catching him off guard. He pressed the button once more as you calmed down.
"Are wearing something, as in like a vibrator?"
He didn't know what to say but you nodded, struggling to ask him to turn it on again. He smiled as he finished his drink, leaning closer to you as you looked away. His cheeky smile creeped up as his hand went up your shirt, removing it as the cold air touched your nipples. You moan as he kissed one side and played with the other, unknowingly he grabbed the remote and turned it on, you gasped and moaned loudly. He smiled as you looked at him with teary eyes.
"Aw why is my baby crying? Don't worry I'll take care of you but first let me play with you first."
Jongho
On your honeymoon in Italy, you and Jongho were enjoying your night with a fancy dinner and beautiful Italian music. Your evening was perfect as Jongho had a surprise planned. You weren't expecting something but you also had a surprise for him too, before heading back to the hotel, you both stopped at a nearby coffee shop. You got two Iced Americano and headed out. Walked into the room and saw a the bed covered in roses, bouquet of roses and a bottle of champagne with chocolate covered strawberries on the side table. You were surprised and gave him a kiss.
"I got a surprise for you too."
He wasn't expecting you to have anything prepared. You handed him a box as he opened and saw a vibrator with a remote. He looked at you as you tried to look away. Wasn't sure if he'll know what to do with it but you soon felt his lips on yours. He pushed you down onto the bed with your lips still attached to each other. He kissed down to your neck and chest. You felt his bulge growing as he pulled away, giving you the sexiest look ever.
"I appreciate the gift but tonight I don't think we'll need it, right now I just wanna fuck you."
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