#I know in reality it would be very exhausting and very hard to actually play games with him and probably dangerous

[kekisu]

a very popular headcanon people have (i Think its popular. at least a lot of my twitter mutuals agreed with me a while back) is that joker comes from inaba, and if youve played p4 you know that theres literally nothing to do there

so a big headcanon that i used to be obsessed with is that he would spend a lot of his days skateboarding or biking around listening to music and exploring old dirt roads.. and he ended up getting a special interest in bugs and reptiles because hed come across so many during his little solo adventures. hes also very well versed in fishing its not a fixation or anything but just something hes pretty good at

this is why i tend to draw joker like some sort of skater boy. i think hes always stood out a lot in this small town even before the false assault charge, like he wasnt disliked or bullied but he just didnt really fit in. and this didnt bother him. i think he only realized how boring his life was when he became a phantom thief and got all these new friends in this new big city that understood him despite the circumstances that led him here. like man i really used to live like that and see nothing wrong with it? i didnt yearn for more?

it makes it even more painful when he has to leave and they naturally drift apart. because they all have dreams and ambitions, and the best years of their lives are waiting for them around the corner. but joker is back in this small town where theres nothing to do but hang out in some food court or poke around in the woods. i imagine this newfound loneliness is really hard on him, not to mention the guilt for feeling like hes somehow to blame for. well, whatever happened with goro

to me personally i think goro lived. i think he mustered up the perseverance to bite and claw his way out of shidos palace after seeing that even someone like him has a chance at being loved, he just didnt really remember this in marukis reality because it was all a blur. so both goro and joker were completely clueless as to what his fate would be if they went back to their true reality, which is what was so scary. the uncertainty. he could very well be dead but how could they know for sure? i just dont like the thought of him dying before he could truly live, even though i understand the tragedy of it can be poetic, i just cant stand for him going out like that because i relate a lot to his struggles. and i think it would go against the overall positive message of p5r. sure not everybody gets to have a second chance or a happy ending, but. man. anyways

joker fully believes goro is dead though. he wouldnt be crazy to assume this considering how they parted ways in shidos palace. but it eats away at him and maybe he really does go crazy. maybe his life feels like its stuck in time and while his old friends are out chasing their dreams, hes stuck. broken and shattered over feeling like he couldve done something to save him, knowing jokers savior/martyr complex

im running out of steam and i didnt mean to ramble on about my post-p5r headcanons but, to wrap it up: goro is in rehab somewhere and has a service dog to help with his dissociation and mood swings. and a couple other stuff. he feels like if he walks back into jokers life itll mess something up like joker will just break down or something. so he keeps his distance until they cross paths again. im just very obsessed with the idea of goro getting his life together vs joker wanting so badly to chase that high of phantom thievery again but failing and being actually so depressed

man morgana must be exhausted

#persona 5 #idk might as well tag it? DFJHNJDMKSNDJ #I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE MY RAMBLE. #pleaseeeee tell me what you think i love to think about post p5r shuake <- literally running a zine about it

[tabithatwo]

it's yellowjackets / jennifer's body parallels time!

hi hello keep reading if you would like to hear about shauna/jennifer and jackie/needy, here's my totally noncomprehensive, very much off the cuff thoughts on this very complex and interesting dynamic!!

(i'm not getting into the basic parallels, i'm gonna assume you know the karyn kusama of it all, the heart necklace, the homoerotic female friendship, the death)

yellowjackets is so brilliant because it feeds you stereotypes and absolutely does not deliver on them. there could be an entire paper on each girl and how this is true for them specifically, but walk quickly with me because i want to get into the nitty gritty gory fun stuff! a brief oversimplified example: nat is referred to as a burnout, some would assume she's a loner based on that, but she cares about the team as a unit more than arguably anyone else. (this is common in real life too, our stereotypes often don't hold water in reality and yj reflects that beautifully!)

now to the jackie/shauna of it all. it would be oh so incredibly easy to look at jackie and think she's the jennifer of the duo. we are set up to see her as prettier, more popular, more demanding. but that illusion falls apart QUICKLY if you pay attention to the things that jackie actually says and does. she's not a mean girl. she's actually one of the kindest on the team. she doesn't pick on shauna, she clings. there are plenty of takes on this on tumblr so i won't exhaust it, my adhd loves to digress and meander but i'm forcing myself back onto the trodden path to this point: people look at the first few minutes of the pilot and they immediately decide that they know who these girls are. the audience typecasts jackie as a jennifer and shauna as a needy. the popular, bubbly girl and her shy, bookworm best friend.

a lot of people, especially casual viewers who don't study this show like its their job (god, wonder what that would be like lol) understandably stop here. but to me the BRILLIANCE of yj is that they don't actually make it HARD for you to undo your initial impressions. the material is there. it isn't hidden. it isn't some deeper self of each character that is unraveled throughout seasons. they push, push, push to see just how far they can carry our deeply held stereotypes/expectations. how forward and violent can shauna be, with viewers still clinging to a shy and sweet girl, who was really their own creation? how kind and honestly pathetic kicked-puppy can jackie be, with viewers still clinging to a mean girl, who was really their own creation? how far will we go to warp the characters intentions, so that we can keep them in the box we understand them in? they ask this of the viewer and of other characters, but AGAIN i digress.

so, while this might sit strangely with some, yes i think that jackie is very much aligned with needy if you peel back just one layer. but far above and beyond that, shauna is so very fucking jennifer.

the overall veneer is thinned immediately in yj. there isn't one girl in the stands and one on center stage. jackie and shauna are both on the team. they go to the same parties, they play the same sport, i would argue that shauna isn't even coded as "less pretty" (please note the word coded, because i'm not saying needy is literally less pretty than jennifer, i am simply saying that we have hair, makeup, clothing, glasses trends that we use to stereotype characters, are you with me?)

so now what? now these girls are both and neither. shauna thinks that she is the needy to jackie's jennifer. jackie wears the necklace and the introductory shots frame her as important. but we're already diverting from that set-up.

our absolute clearest common denominator here is one that i rarely see people mention funnily enough: JENNIFER IS A SUCCUBUS. she CONSUMES. she KILLS. she WANTS and she TAKES.

now before you get TOO EXCITED!!! i see some of you getting ready to say i'm a shauna shipman hater, put the pitchforks down!! shauna is one of my favorite characters of all time. i love her crazy ass so deeply that it's alarming. (i don't hate jennifer, either, for the record.) i love her largely for WHAT she is. i think sanitizing or sweetening her is a disservice. she's amazing and complex and wounded and capable of deep love. but she also, quite LITERALLY, consumes.

her character is sex and desire and violence and obsession and consumption. and it's AMAZING. she's POWERFUL. she's our main framing character (in this dynamic), rather than needy. the scripts are switched. jennifer dies and needy lives, and that's one story. that's clearer cut, simpler, made for a horror film. but here, jackie dies and shauna lives, and that story is deep and rich and goes on to include a whole lot more death and destruction and chaos.

shauna tells us herself that it excites her. she likes it. she is this girl. this woman. she reminisces and she recreates and she covets.

jennifer tries to consume needy, shauna literally consumes jackie.

there's more to this story, obviously. you could deep dive and mine for the intricacies of the set up and fall of stereotype and expectation, or collect all of the exact parallels. but i'll stick with a few, because this is a quick outburst of thought.

a huge one, who is taking whose boyfriend?

here's another personal favorite of mine, just for kicks

is it too complex to neatly tuck away? absolutely. they're different stories with different themes. shauna isn't simply a teenager possessed by a demon. it runs far deeper. as is the essence of this show.

but if you want to look at parallels, look at the one who has been holding the knife the whole time.

#can you tell both of these stories make me crazy #i love shauna this is not shauna hate this is shauna LOVE do not misinterpret pls #you guys she EATS people!! #anon who just messaged me about this YES I see you I’m with you here are my thoughts lol #yellowjackets #yellowjackets meta #jennifer's body #shauna shipman #jennifer check #jackie taylor #anita needy lesnicki #karyn kusama #shauna x jackie #jackie x shauna #jackieshauna #shaunajackie

[turtleinsoup]

Can I just say that I adore Lemonade Leak. Like- I am so invested (currently waiting for the more intense part to pass before I get back to binge reading cus I relate very much to Donnie and need to take care of my mental health) but ajfkdjdksk I honestly am hyped to get to the healing portion of the story. Cuz...as someone who has dealt with the complexities of sibling abuse...I know that Donnie is going to need time to actually trust his "twin" again. But I know from how your pacing is, that it will feel more ... authentic? That it isn't going to be a "big emotional scene" then brushed past. IDK if this makes sense, but I honestly appreciate that you are making content that I feel...seen by (which is why I am praying for Leo to get a much needed reality check...cuz..hnk dude you need therapy!)

Thank you for your message!

Yes, the sibling abuse is severe, and I do go out of my way to make it hard to endure.

Literally:

I'm often using trochaic sentence rythm (stressed syllables backed by unstressed ones) and try to go for a Dies Irae effect, to build tension in your chest. It can make ppl uncomfortable, but runs the risk of mental exhaustion through overuse, so I limit it to the really ugly scenes. Leo's thoughts about Donnie were litterally designed to be hard to endure.

The loving scenes between the Disasters use mostly an iamb structure, to go gentle.

I'm sorry to hear you have had abusive encounters with your siblings! I was never really was on the reciving end of those, tbh. I mostly tormented my sister when we were kids, but when she brings it up now she's mostly like: "HELLO VALUED POTENTIAL BLOODDONOR <333 Would you drive me across the country and pick up something from my ex?? I won't even make fun of your disgraceful driving <3333" And I go "No, take a train like the peasants" and she goes "Okay!! :) Anyways, remember that time you made me eat expired food to test if it was still good? Or that time you shoved me off a bridge? Or that time-" and I go "FINE, WHATS HIS ADRESS"

*cough* anyways, I dunno if she has actually coped or if she is just making fun of the trauma I caused in her?? Dunno :')

Oh yeah, Leo and Donnie have a lot to work through.

/Spoilers, you may skip if you wish to:

I'm not even starting on how the family plays into their final fight, the whole "leader" situation, the Council-hunting-them situation, it's a lot. But the aftermath would leave Donnie with some severe trust issues and trauma responses toward Leo. While Leo would also get close to suicidal once he realizes what he has done. Leo is terrified of Krang, Donnie is terrified of Leo('s response to him), but also they're both even more terrified of... well. Losing each other. Both of the twins would be cornered into a horrible mental situation, but I'll have them confront it from all angles. They'll help each other up and drag each other to their happy end, kicking and screaming, because they DO love each other more than they are scared. (And also I'll force them on a road trip together, lmao.)

Spoiler End./

I'm incredibly happy you relate to Donnie's experience; but please always keep your mental heath in mind when reading! Please consider to drop the story, should it leave any negative mental impact on you! I'm not a therapist, I'm a simple soup. There's no shame in not finishing a book, It'd rather have you stop reading than suffering because I mishandled something!

Stay safe out there!!

#thank you for your kind #ask #rottmnt #rottmmt lemonade leak

[scarlett-vixen]

This one is for @bearyposts 😌 I hope you enjoy!! This turned out much longer than originally planned but in my defense: I love this grumpy old man.

Prompt: V- Vacation

Pairing: (established relationship) Lucifer x Gn!Reader

Genre: Fluff, slightly suggestive at the very end I could not stop myself.

As Avatar of Pride, Lucifer was many things. Loyal, responsible, organized, punctual, but more than anything he was overworked.

In the beginning you kept your mouth shut, knowing there was no point in arguing with him, after a while however you became increasingly annoyed with the amount of paperwork he was constantly given.

Many times you had gone looking for him in the late evenings and found him fast asleep at his desk, you would wake him and stay by his side till he finished, hoping to get some quality time together before you went to bed.

The first born would apologize to you for being locked up in his office all day or for having to cancel plans to attend yet another meeting with Lord Diavolo. Lucifer always did his best to assure that you were much more important to him than his work but these papers had to be filled out by tomorrow morning so he really couldn’t postpone them.

You were well aware of his strenuous schedule before your relationship started, the time that you two did spend together he always showered you with affection, that didn’t stop you from being upset when he missed date night though.

Somehow the other six brothers all had different plans or events going on tonight. Lucifer had agreed weeks ago to dedicate the evening to being with you, a quiet night alone together for the first time in a very long time, you had excitedly reminded him about your plans almost every day leading up.

Everyone was supposed to be gone from the house by seven, the two of you planned to meet in your room at exactly seven to watch a movie, however it was now eight-thirty and you were still alone in your room.

You had tried being patient, knowing that your boyfriend had been working on a very important document all day and giving him a little extra time to wrap things up but this was ridiculous.

You marched straight up to his office, not bothering to knock, barging right in ready to give him an ear full about playing second fiddle to Diavolo’s demands.

When you entered though, that plan quickly disintegrated. Once again you found Lucifer out cold at his desk, pen uncapped, papers scattered all over his desk, clearly in the middle of signing things.

You wanted to be mad at him, to wake him up and express your feelings on being forgotten about, but you knew this really wasn’t his fault. It was his sin.

As usual you gently woke the exhausted demon, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead as he rejoined the living world, you wiped the small spot of drool from his cheek.

“Is it already seven my love?” He attempted to act like he’d only been asleep for mere minutes, you knew in reality he had been unconscious for at least two hours.

“No, it’s almost nine actually…” You sat yourself on the edge of his desk, watching the terror grow in his eyes and quickly checking his watch to see if you were joking.

“I’m so sorry darling, I promise I did not intend to miss our date!” He placed a hand on your thigh and looked at you with pleading eyes.

“It’s alright. We still have a few hours before your brothers start coming home,” you placed a hand on top of his. “Why don’t we go lay down, we can watch a movie some other time.”

You were a little upset about the change in plans but in the end you would take whatever time you got with him, even if it was just laying in his bed together.

Something was going to change though, you hated seeing Lucifer this worn out, tomorrow morning you would have a very stern discussion with the demon prince. His pride wouldn’t allow him to tell Diavolo no, but you sure could.

***

You flat out told Diavolo that he was working Lucifer too hard, the demon was literally working himself to sleep every night and you were done with it, you told him that you were taking Lucifer away for a much needed vacation. To no surprise Diavolo had been very supportive of the idea, insisting that Lucifer take better care of himself and learn to relax.

You had rushed home to deliver the news only to be met with “I couldn’t possibly leave those six idiots alone for a whole week!” You had anticipated this argument and taken the necessary prerequisites.

Before finding Lucifer you had found the other six rambunctious demons. You had lured them into the living room saying you had exciting news, once they were gathered you explained that you and Lucifer would be absent for a week. Of course you received a number of complaints ranging from “why does he get to go with you?” all the way to “We never get to do anything fun!”

After letting them voice their opinions on the matter, you gave them a very to the point speech on how things should be while gone and upon returning. The six brothers sat in fear as you threatened them with consequences all while using a sickeningly sweet voice and having a smile plastered on your face. Something you picked up from the eldest.

After several hours, you finally convinced your stubborn boyfriend he could leave his brothers alone for a week. The avatar of pride had been reluctant to actually leave them home alone but gave in quickly when you started to pout; the two of you packed your bags and headed out.

You knew the only way Lucifer could fully relax was by taking him out of the Devildom completely. You told him your week together would be spent in the human world, he of course wanted to know what exactly the plans were for the week and was taken aback by your answer.

“What do you mean nothing? Surely you have some plans made?” Lucifer questioned as you both unpacked your bags in the hotel room.

“I mean nothing! There’s no plan, no itinerary, no schedule. It’s just a week of you and me alone relaxing.” You expected him to be a little shocked, the first born practically lived and breathed structure and planning.

“So, you took me away from my work to just sit in a hotel room with you for a week?” Lucifer sat on the bed, confusion covering his face.

“No you dork, we can leave the room and enjoy the town! I just didn’t want a set schedule of when and what to do. You spend every day back home on a time sensitive schedule, I want you to be able to relax and enjoy this trip!”

“I guess I could use a break from all the papers and documents…and my brothers.”

“Exactly! You need a break and this is the perfect chance for that.” You walked over to where Lucifer sat on the bed, standing over him you gently held his face in your hands.

He melted at your touch, leaning into one hand and looking up at you with soft eyes, nobody brought him peace quite like you.

“We can sleep in each morning, go have a nice breakfast without fear of having our food stolen, we can sit out on the balcony and enjoy the peace and quiet.” You rubbed a thumb against his cheek watching him melt further into you. “We can go do whatever you’d like, but more than anything I want you to relax.”

“I don’t care what we do, so long as I’m with you. I’m more relaxed with your presence than anything else.” Lucifer nuzzled into your hand and kissed the palm before looking back up at you.

“Well if that’s the case,” you gave him a mischievous grin. “What if we did just stay in the room alone all week?”

You felt his face heat up. You didn’t dare say something so bold back home, but up here it was fair play. Back home there were too many possible interruptions, a brother barging in or a prince summoning him away, now that you had him up here all to yourself though? You planned to make this vacation a memorable one.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me lucifer #obey me fanfic #obey me mc #obey me lucifer x reader #lucifer fluff #omswd lucifer #om! lucifer #obey me lucifer x mc #kats 200+ event

[l4deeznuts]

before i start i wanna say this is NOT a zellis or nickro hate post!!! i think both ships are cute but in my l4d world it's hard to pair them for a couple reasons

when it comes to nick being with ro, or any woman that is, it's hard to see it because he's a misogynistic asshole. he does get better throughout the game and id imagine as time went on in the apocalypse, whether they were officially rescued or got stranded again, the shitty parts of his personality would get better

BUT

it is also his personality. we don't know why he is the dirtbag he is.. could be literally anything. shitty parents/raised badly, trauma, hanging with the wrong crowd, etc

now don't get me wrong, nick isn't solely a douchebag. he obviously has positive, redeeming qualities about himself and he truly does care about the other three survivors. as we all know, humans are not one dimensional, so it's entirely possible for him to do a 180

but when you're in your mid 30s, probably been living rough one way or another your whole life, it would be really fucking hard to break out of those negative attributes

rochelle is too good for that. she does not deserve any kind of mistreatment. i will not argue

THIS ALSO GOES FOR NELLIS TOO THOUGH! any pairing with nick would be toxic one way or another honestly

i just feel like.. it would be different with ellis because he is such a ball of sunshine. you throw anything at him, and it bounces right off. he's so oblivious and in his own world, so sweet and caring-- a genuinely good person. i feel like he would be able to balance nick out and chill out his jerk attitude a bit

ellis is not really confrontational and overall does not have a mean bone in his body. hell, in game when nick said he hated him, he responded with "well, i still like you, nick." and because of this, i feel like he would truly be the first person in nick's entire 35 years of life that showed him genuine love, respect, patience, understanding, etc, which in turn would tug on nick's shriveled heartstrings

this doesn't mean that rochelle isn't sweet and wouldn't have the power to change nick for the better. but even tho she is also a genuinely good person, she doesn't take shit from anyone, especially not nick. many times in the game she steps up to him and puts him in his place. i feel like she could love him platonically/in a family type way, but romantically i don't think she could do it. i think it would just exhaust her and quite frankly piss her the fuck off

now when it comes to zoey and ellis, it would work... for a bit. ellis would most definitely treat zoey like a queen and they would have a healthy, loving relationship. however, zoey's personality is kind of going towards the opposite spectrum of ellis'*. she's a little on the brooding side, slightly awkward, and a little quicker than most to get ticked off. of course she has a sense of humor, is sweet, and does care about others. her and i are actually very much alike, and truthfully i don't think i could date a guy like ellis. even though he's damn near perfect for a man, he has a lot of chaotic energy. when you're someone with a lower energy-type personality*, it gets tiring after a while being around high energy people

zoey would more than likely be a homebody, wanting to watch tv and movies, play video games, etc, whereas ellis is your typical country boy-- fishing, hunting, working on cars, riding horses, drinking, doing dangerous and dumb shit with his boys, etc. i feel like after a while zoey would realize she just can't keep up with him, maybe even after a while he would start to even get on her nerves. i also feel like after a while he would think she was boring.. but in reality, they just don't really have much in common when it comes to their lifestyles

*i know you could kinda consider nick being closer to a lower-energy type personality because when he's not being an ass, he is rather quiet and to himself. BUT theres no such thing as a lazy introverted conman lol

*i also feel like it's easier to tolerate the same sex as you. a man annoying another man, or a woman annoying another woman is one thing, but a man annoying a woman is a whole other story lmfao

#left 4 dead 2 #left 4 dead #l4d2 #l4d #ellis l4d2 #nick l4d2 #rochelle l4d2 #zoey l4d2 #zellis and nickro are valid ships ok #i think the girls are just too good for the dummies tho lmao #i think thats why i like nellis so much #dumbasses deserve other dumbasses #all i ever do is babble about l4d and most of the time it doesnt make sense srry #like i said before in one of my previous posts #theres just enough lore that it leaves a great foundation #but leaves it empty enough to where anything could happen and it wouldn't be too unrealistic :3

[safety-pin-punk]

Sorry to be in your asks again about this 😭 but I love your posts and the resources you've got

How the fuck do you cope with not feeling punk enough as a disabled person

Not having the capabilities to actually go out and get involved in your local community and scene, not having the coordination to fix up or make your own clothes

I know it's mostly about philosophy and not (entirely) how you dress or what concerts you can go to, but it's so hard to not feel like I'm failing at being punk when I can't make my own battle jacket or go volunteer with how exhausted I am just from existing 😭😭😭

First, don’t be sorry! I love getting asks (I actually have a lot that I need to get through 😬)

I feel like in order for my answer to have any real meaning, you need some background on me and my life, so I’m going to put a cut so this isnt the longest post known to man lol

Okay, for anyone new, I need to point out here that I approach all of this from a chronically ill perspective. I’m not physically disabled, but I’m certainly not fully functioning by any means. Okay on to the actual answer:

You ask how I cope with not feeling punk enough without being able to get involved in a local scene and dealing with the realities of chronic illness.

When I was in highschool (mind you this was like 7 years ago), I was just starting to get into punk. I was enamored by it. But I grew up country. I was the kid that wore jeans and a flannel every day. To this day I own cowboy boots and a few hats. I still listen to country music when Im sad. So I was a country kid who wanted to be a punk rocker.

My friend group in school thought that was absurd. I was 16 when it first came to my attention that maybe I couldn’t be punk enough. At this point I hadnt even learned the first thing about what punk really means besides ‘sticking it to the man’. My friends, no my best friend at the time, she looked at me and said ‘You arent punk.’ Then she scoffed and went on her merry way. I was sad, I was hurt, but more so I was angry.

I actually stayed friends with her until about a year and a half ago. During that time, I learned everything I could about what it meant to be punk. I cut my hair off, I had a jacket with a few pins on it, I listened mostly to alternative music. But I could never really sew (Im still shit at it and stab myself every time I make an attempt at it), I never listened to the right bands, I never word the right clothes, I didnt go to the right school. Nothing I ever did was going to be ‘punk enough’ for her. Through out most of that time, I was a baby punk who had never met another person in the punk scene. And through out all of that time my supposed best friend never thought I was punk enough. (God this person is honestly a story in and of itself)

But when I went to college, I met new people. And to these people, I was the epitome of punk (mind you their experience with alternative people was basically zero because I went to a christian school). That was a new experience for me and gave me a lot of confidence. I still wasnt around punks, but the girls in my dorm would hear me playing Papa Roach or Falling in Reverse and see me in a band shirt and either avoid me or tell me I was pretty cool. I still didn’t have an actual punk jacket. I didnt know how to sew. I just liked music and was wearing a nirvana shirt I got on sale at walmart.

I tell you this to point out that simply changing my environment, neither of which were full of alternative people, drastically altered my view of myself and if I was ‘punk enough’.

I’ll even give you another example to think about. Is a chemist still a chemist, even when they aren’t surrounded by or doing research with other chemists? If someone likes chemistry and knows a lot about it, but are surrounded by business people, are they not still a chemist, even if they arent the ‘perfect chemist’? I’ll go even further, making your own capillary tubes out of glass pipets is a very common and almost expected skill that most chemists have. I’ve never been successful at this once, does that make me less of a chemist?

You can still be a punk even if you aren’t surrounded by punks. You can still be a punk even if you cant do all the things that are typically expected of punks. Not all punks have the same skill set. Some can sew, some cant. Some can garden, some cant. Some can make graffiti stickers, some cant. Dont try to fit yourself into this box of what punk is ‘supposed’ to be. Punk is whatever you want it to be.

And I know, I know. Theres a difference between knowing that and feeling that. I completely understand. And thats part of why this blog has been so important to me. Like I said, I live in a very rural place. There are no punks. I know a grunge kid and a few teenagers who like to dye their hair. Sure, I live near Pittsburgh, but going into the city isnt a daily occurrence for me. But on tumblr, I’ve met some really amazing punks like @/polyamorouspunk and @/my-chemical-ratz. There is a pretty awesome online community of punks. These people have made me feel welcomed and included in this community, and I’m very thankful for that.

And even if you just want to look at the chronic illness/disabled perspective… your existence is punk. You are here, and you arent being quiet about it. Thats punk. “In the face of extermination say fuck you” may have been aimed at trans people, but it applies just as much to sick and disabled people. You are punk by default.

#mail tag #personal #i hope this helps in some way - I’m sure its not necessarily the answer you were looking for #but its the best answer I have #i cope with not feeling punk enough because i know theres no such thing as not being punk enough

[taylortruther]

I am interested to see if people who are reacting harshly online which is fine if that’s what they see fit would react the same way in real life with say a friend. People talk big talk online but don’t really do so in person and maybe these people do but I find usually that in person when you know someone you give them more grace. I’ve had a friend or two who have dated weirdos like matty and I’ve been annoyed with them but ultimately I didn’t like cut them off or whatever because I genuinely believe that you can be a good person and still make bad decisions and that’s the same way I’m reacting with this.

i think lots of them would, if they knew people who were saying the outright offensive stuff matty did. i do! but frankly i am very aware of the racism that surrounds us all daily, and i also know that 1) other people are unaware, even other poc, and 2) if they're aware, they don't DO ANYTHING about it.

examples? certainly!

how about who we date. i have white friends who only date white people, hell, i know poc who only date white people, and i know this will make many people reading this uncomfortable, but there is a racist reason behind that. you can call it your "preferences," but like... how/why do you think those preferences are formed?

or who we befriend. most of my white friends only interact with white people. except me. i'm the token poc for several of my friends. why?

i have primarily white friends who bought homes in gentrified areas in historically black/latino neighborhoods in my city. and they're like, aware that gentrification is bad. but... they still bought 'em! why?

a close friend of mine recently told me that i looked "gangsta" in my gold jewelry but she didn't say anything at all to my asian friend who was wearing the same exact jewelry as me (literally the exact same, from the same store, we were modeling it together.) i'm a brown latina. i look ghetto in gold jewelry, according to white people. i know this. sucks to be reminded by someone i love but i didn't disown her for it. can anyone reading this honestly tell me they haven't accidentally said something stupid like that?

i've had multiple people in my life say they "forget" i'm a poc because i "act white." might as well just say i don't play the race card lmao. same question as above.

i have friends of color who, during the blm protests, went through a lot of very painful and public education about the history of police brutality. i had multiple friends of all races who said they "didn't understand" how bad it was until george floyd was killed. and most of those friends don't actually seem to care about the issue anymore. it's kinda over. has every single one of us americans donated our time or money to a related cause this week?

most people in my life don't organize or take part in a form of activism at all! we talk about these things, so i can confidently say that. i think some of them donate, but that's like a "set it and forget it" type thing. many of them feel guilty for not doing more but they just... don't make it a priority.

like. these are all common, pervasive issues of racism (or other isms). and i guarantee that some people who are very upset about the matty/taylor situation encounter these things, and more, as well.

i don't know everyone on here but do i believe everyone involved in this convo is confronting these things? nope. i do not. because it's hard, uncomfortable, and makes you unpopular/unlikeable.

this isn't even a judgment. it's just reality. but these are all things that i'd rather people confront irl regularly rather than exhaust themselves talking about matty healy on tumblr.

#hot taykes #this doesn't even cover the actual radical actions you could take #because if you're not doing the above you're probably not interested in being radical

[veryimportantsparkles]

I’m still working on the champion pics for my last Sapphire run...very slowly.  Work was really exhausting over the holidays and my hands aren’t doing so good.  In the meanwhile I’ve been playing Alpha Sapphire, directly after regular Sapphire so I can see the differences more clearly.  I want to make this cartridge a permanent storage for some of my older Pokemon, who I’ve been transferring up the generations because I’m worried about Bank eventually going down in the next few years.  I’m picking 6th gen for their forever home because it’s got Pokemon-Amie and Super Training so it’s easy to spend a lot of time with my favorites.

But before I can cram all my guys in, I want to beat the game regular.  I’ve told the Pokemon in this run that their world was chosen to be a home for powerful beings from beyond their reality.  But if those aliens invaded all at once, the natives of their world would be overwhelmed.  The Pokemon I catch in Alpha Sapphire are tasked with strengthening their world and themselves to prepare for that mass migration.

In my original Sapphire run, from when I was in high school, I did the weeaboo cringe thing and named my Pokemon after Japanese words I got from punching English words into an online dictionary.  That’s why the gijinka characters from that time period have names like ‘Inu’ and ‘Tanuki.’  In the spirit of that, I’m going to aim to name all my Alpha Sapphire guys after Shinto deities and artifacts.  I’m also trying to do some research on ancient Japan so that I know what I’m doing with outfit designs.  It’s an imperfect process and I’m probably going to end up with some real cringe by the end of it, but that’s okay.

Kojiki, my starter for this run, is going to write down everything he can about his world, in its relatively untouched state, as a historical record of the time before the migration.  He’s turning into a history nerd, every time the actual plot of the game brings up ancient Kyogre/Groudon/Rayquaza lore he gets really interested.  He’s named for the Records of Ancient Matters, the oldest surviving written account of Japanese history and Shinto legends.  The second oldest book is called the Chronicles of Japan, the Nihon Shoki.  So his full name is Kojiki Shoki, at least until I find out that those words together mean something completely different and inappropriate.

Uzume is the Pokemon they showed me for the catching and DexNav tutorial.  I assume that encounter is always a Poochyena with Fire Fang?  Probably?  Since she has a fire attack I kind of wish I could’ve named her Amaterasu, but that name’s been taken since my original Sapphire run.  I named my Milotic that because I caught/raised/evolved her the hard way and thus her name needed to be Special.  So instead, Uzume’s namesake is the goddess who lured Amaterasu out of a cave by dancing.  I don’t know how prevalent dancing is going to be for my Uzume, I already tried teaching her Swords Dance and she can’t learn it.

I was going to draw a few more designs from this run, but my hands were going numb.  And now my hands are numb again from typing too much, haha.

#doodles #pokemon #gijinka #gijinka tales of alpha sapphire #kojiki #mudkip #uzume #poochyena

[bluevelvetgvf]

gate & garden: six

jake kiszka x fem!reader (childhood best friends to lovers...)

MASTERLIST 2.9k words

A/N: I do not claim to, nor do I know Greta Van Fleet; they are all real people with real lives, this is an entirely fictional work.

Learning guitar was just one of many musical hobbies Jake and Y/N picked up in their childhood. By the time the pair reached high school, they had over a dozen instruments (combined) under their belts, and were a force to be reckoned with.

After learning piano and guitar so quickly, Y/N was quick to try other instruments as well. After mastering the acoustic guitar, she moved onto electric, the shift wasn’t as hard as she had anticipated. Then Kelly showed her how to maneuver an electric bass, which wasn’t difficult since she knew electric guitar.

When middle school came around, the opportunity to join the school district’s band came along. Jake decided on the flute, Josh on trumpet, and Y/N decided to try her hand at the drum-line. She, as expected, was a natural. She started on the marimba, then the xylophone, snare, and bass drum, and before her parents knew it, they had an entire full drum-kit in the adjoining garage.

Since learning guitar, she hadn’t forgotten about her other hobbies. She still attended summer theatre camps, all the way through eighth grade. Winter co-ed soccer turned to just boys and just girls soccer once elementary school ended. She joined the volleyball team in the fall, and track team in the spring, to keep her fitness up for summer dance intensives in the summers.

Dance. At just five years old, Jake knew that when he grew up, he wanted to be a rockstar. And at fourteen, Y/N knew she wanted to dance.

Everyone always looked at her like she was crazy when she told them she wanted to be a dancer. But she was serious, and she put in the work. Besides her sports, she had dance classes three nights a week, not to mention Saturday practices, and extra personal rehearsal time when she was free.

She didn’t know when it hit her, but one day, she had an overwhelming feeling of love for what she was doing. It didn’t matter how often she had to ice her strained muscles, or how exhausted she was from trying to perfect the four-step combo her instructor taught her, she loved dance. She loved dance like Jake loved the guitar, and that was saying a lot.

For his twelfth birthday, Jake had received his pride-and-joy, a 1961 Gibson Les Paul. He guarded that thing with his life. He treated it like it was his prized possession, which it was. Not even Josh was allowed to play it, actually, especially Josh wasn’t allowed to play it.

On a few occasions, Jake let Y/N pluck a few strings on it. He trusted her to treat it with respect, as she had been handling guitars just as long as he had.

Since Sam had gotten older, he’d taken an inkling to his brother’s love for music, and with Y/N’s help, he’d taken up the piano, bass, and guitar (Sam liked bass the best.) Josh had stuck by Y/N’s side, and taken up theatre and choir.

Along the way, Y/N had also acquired her very own guitar baby. A 1964 Fender Mustang. She and Dad had shopped for years to find a guitar that sounded just right, and when they found it, Dad bought it for her, and let her pay him back over the course of three years. And on the eve of her fifteenth birthday, the Fender was finally her’s.

She kept it at the Kiszka’s, in the safety of the garage, with the Les Paul.

With their growing age, their love of music grew too, and so did the reality of Jake’s dreams to be a rockstar. So unofficially, tucked away in the Kiszkas garage, Jake and Y/N started a band.

At first, they didn’t have a name. They didn’t have any gigs, nor original songs. But they practiced like they did. Jake was always on guitar. Y/N was mostly on the drum kit, but more often than not “band practice” would lead to a good old guitars-only jam session.

Sometimes Sam would join them on the bass, or Y/N would switch it up to the keys. Usually she was on vocals, but occasionally Jake would join in. He wasn’t much for duets, but Y/N liked to hear his voice.

As they began high school, the band became more serious. Sam joined them permanently on the bass, and Josh became the focus vocals, with Y/N lending her voice more to duets and backing tracks. She did double time on the drum-kit and keys, and they all were their own crew (including their dads). They loaded, unloaded, and set up their own equipment for every show.

The more they performed, the more they became interested in writing. Singing covers could only get them so far, and the twins had discussed how they had a message they needed to share with others, and what better way to get their message out, than through their music.

Jake and Josh were master lyricists, Sam occasionally chiming in to put the missing pieces into a specific verse of bridge. Y/N was the “musical genius” of the bunch, as Jake would say. She was responsible for the majority of the music composition (meaning, not the lyrics). She sat down at the piano bench, and within an hour, she could have the entire base of a song written, with little to no effort.

They would build the rest of the instruments around the piano. But more often than not, Y/N had a basic idea of what each instrument would do throughout the course of a song. What keys everything was in, where they’d end up, the best places for ad-libbing, etc.

Songwriting usually happened one of two ways. One: Jake, Josh, or Sam would present her with a set of fully completed song lyrics, and by the end of the day, she would have crafted the majority of the instrumental aspects of the song. Or, two: She would have an entire song complete, all instruments written, and the others would have to write lyrics to match her music.

It often went the first way.

Jake and Sam helped work through their instruments parts more often than not, however, it was so much easier to them to have the base of a song ready for them. They were eternally grateful to Y/N for her natural musical abilities.

Songwriting, and the band in full, had taken a brief hiatus, following Y/N’s near-death experience in her junior year of school. But finally, in May, things were up and running again. They’d been having practices more frequently, preparing for the summer full of gigs they had lined up during the winter.

Y/N was fully healed from her injury, and the guys were roaring to get back to playing together as a group. But Jake couldn’t help but feel like Y/N was throwing herself back into the band too quickly.

Their time off had given him time to think and perhaps over-analyze the history of the group thus far. They’d been a hit at the local bars, no matter the size of the crowd. Josh always crushed the vocals, he was naturally gifted to be a star. He and Sammy had been drilling their instruments into their heads, making sure there was no room for error. And of course, Y/N was perfect at everything she did, but Jake couldn’t help but feel like she was running rampant during shows.

She would bounce back and forth between the drums and keys, insisting every time they curated a setlist that she was “fine” jumping back and forth. She should’ve let them organize it better to accommodate her.

And he could tell that everything made her tired after her injury. Her mother said it was an effect of the medicines she was on, and paired with the fact that for once in her life, she had time to rest. Her body was now used to doing nothing.

So during finals week, when Sam brought home his childhood friend Danny, and asked if Danny could sit in on their practice, Jake felt compelled to say yes. So he did.

Danny explained that he knew guitar, and quite well. However, they weren’t looking for a guitarist. They already had one. (Jake tried to say that to him without sounding too much like an asshole.) “But we could use a drummer for today.” Jake suggested instead.

Y/N had her final PT appointment that afternoon and would be arriving late. Josh had a theatre awards ceremony, so he wouldn’t make it. This rehearsal was mostly for the non-verbal instruments.

Jake and Sam showed Danny the basics of the drums. To anyone with an inkling of rhythm, the drums weren’t difficult to learn. It was more of the dynamics and moving parts that were more of a struggle.

Danny was a natural at the drums. He wasn’t perfect of course, it was only his first practice, but he could jam. Jake was impressed, and Sam was too. And the three of them had a hell of a time, that was until Y/N arrived.

Jake didn’t really know how exactly he expected the interaction to go. It wasn’t like he was initiating Daniel into the band, he simply let his kid brother and his friend join in on their rehearsal. Her spot in the group wasn’t in jeopardy. If anything, he hoped she’d be thankful for his help. Danny’s presence alleviated her workload.

But of course, everything went to shit the moment she saw Danny on her drum kit.

Jake immediately regretted his decision. He could feel the energy shift as she very leisurely sat her bag down on the floor inside the door. She stood upright, her eyes scanning the three of them. It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

Y/N was so excited for band practice. It was the last week of school, she had finally been fully medically cleared to return to being a normal functioning human being, and all she wanted to do was jam out with Jake and Sam. So she was certainly surprised (yes that was one word for it) when she walked into the garage to see Danny Wagner sitting at her drum kit.

The moment she entered the room, the music stopped, and all three boys paused, waiting for her reaction.

“Hi Danny.” She said, staring at the boy.

Danny’s eyes widened, staring back at her with pure fear in his eyes. “Hi…” He responded, very nervously.

Her attention next turned to Jake, who she assumed was the curator of this plan. “Why’s Danny on the drums?” She asked, truly trying not to sound like an entitled bitch. But it was her kit he was playing on.

Jake cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck. “Well he came home with Sammy, and they wanted to jam. I figured I’d kill some time before you came.”

“So you put him on the drum kit?” She asked, still not quite seeing the full picture.

“He asked about guitar but-“ He lifted his up, as if to say “Duh, we already have one.”

She nodded. “Wouldn’t want you to be dethroned.” She snapped, a bit more maliciously than she intended. “You wanna keep him around?”

When Jake didn’t answer her, she turned to Sam. “Sammy, is Danny pretty good at the drums?” Sammy, afraid to say anything, let alone the wrong thing, nodded, not speaking.

“Did you plan this?” She asked, turning back to Jake. “Did you plan for Danny to take my place?”

“Whoa, he’s not taking your place.” Jake’s jaw dropped. “That’s not what I meant-“

Y/N’s face upturned in a smirk, she’d just caught him red-handed. “So this was pre-meditated.” She nodded, looking down at the floor. “Why didn’t you just do it when I was fucking bedridden for weeks?” She scoffed, still not looking at him.

“It was not pre-meditated, Y/N, just listen to me.” Jake sighed, lifting his guitar over his shoulders. “Why the hell would I want to kick you out of the band, this thing is half your’s anyway. I’d never do that to you.”

“Then what is going on Jake? And I swear to god if you say this is in my best interest, I’m gonna punch you right in the face.” She shook her head in disbelief, now looking up at him. “I’ve spent the past four months being coddled and danced around like I’m an infant. I’m not a glass doll, I’m not going to break!”

“Y/N, I know this year has been tough for you- Actually, tough probably doesn’t even describe it.” Jake raised his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry this is how it went down, I meant to talk to you about it one on one, okay, but here we are.”

Tears began welling in her eyes. Whatever he said, it was the wrong thing to say.

“I don’t want you out of the band, I just don’t want you doing too much.” Jake spoke softly, trying not to make her break down fully. “You’re back and forth between the keys and drums the entire set, and before you were hurt that was exhausting, but now it’s even harder for you- And don’t say it isn’t, I can tell that you’re tired. I just figured that if we got Danny on drums, you could really focus on the keys, and that way you wouldn’t have to jump back and forth so often.”

Y/N took a moment to process the information he told her. “Not every song we play needs keys, Jake.” She said, voice void of any emotion.

Fuck! He internally cursed himself. That was a portion of the plan not entirely thought out.

Before either of them could even realize what was happening, Y/N was out the door, bag in-hand, and heading towards her house.

Jake followed her, body working faster than his brain to catch up with her. “What if you played guitar with me!” He shouted, eyes widening once he realize exactly what he’d proposed.

He’d essentially just given up his spot as the guitarist. He’d have to share the spotlight with someone else. Granted, that someone was Y/N, but still. It really wasn’t what he’d imagined when he conceived this plan.

Two guitarists.

Y/N stopped dead in her tracks, not turning around to look at him yet. Two guitarists wasn’t unheard of. And their guitars did sound quite different from each other, although complementary. There was a reason she wanted a rig that was more growl-y than Jake’s. They sounded good together.

It wouldn’t be impossible.

“That’s really funny Jake. Way to make me feel better about this situation.” She laughed sarcastically, finally turning to look at him.

Jake shook his head, internally convincing himself that this half-assed plan was better than losing her entirely.

She was essential to the band. No songs would be completed without her, they needed her heart and her brain.

“I’m not fucking joking Y/N, okay!”

His tone of voice was more than serious, drawing her physically back to him. “You’re gonna share the spotlight with me?” She asked, staring him directly in the eyes.

Jake shrugged, not looking away. “If that’s what it means to keep you in the band, then yes. We can play guitar together.”

She nodded, her jaw twitching slightly. “So how does me, still playing two instruments, alleviate my workload in the band?” She asked, raising her eyebrows.

Jake scoffed, shaking his head at her sarcastic tone. “We write more songs with guitar than keys, how about that?”

She pondered for a moment before nodding. Logical plan.

“You like to keep busy anyway-“ “I like to keep busy.” She nodded sheepishly, agreeing with him.

Jake chuckled, scratching the back of his neck again. “Yeah, it’s really fucking annoying of you.” Y/N gasped, leaning over and smacking his arm.

“Yeah well there shit you do that’s really annoying too, okay?”

Jake gaped, jokingly of course. “Like what!”

Y/N’s eyes widened, eyes trailing up to the sky. “The list could go on Jacob! I’ve got seventeen years of being with your insufferable ass under my belt.” She grinned, locking eyes with him. “You’re always annoying.”

He shook his head, knowing she was just trying to get under his skin to avoid having to think about her fears of being kicked out of the band. “You coming back inside now, or what? We have Thing 1 and Thing 2 to deal with, and god knows Danny’s already traumatized from what just happened. Hopefully he wants to come back.”

Hesitantly, she nodded.

Jake frowned, knowing she was still nervous about rejoining them. She didn’t fully believe him.

He stepped forward, pulling her into his arms and squeezing her tightly. “I’m not a liar, Y/N. It’s not nice to lie.” He whispered, remembering what they used to say when they were younger. She melted into his touch, shakily bringing her arms to rest around his shoulders. “This band is our band, okay?”

She nodded, blinking away the remaining tears in her eyes.

After a few minutes, the two released each other. “Now let’s get this shit over with. If we finish early enough we can smoke a blunt before dinner.” With that statement, she let out a laugh, following him inside the garage.

They practiced for the first time that night as the as a true band. Sammy on bass, Danny on drums, Jake and Y/N on guitar (and keys when she needed to be).

•

@jakesgrapejuice @writingcold @sunshineonkennasshoulders @jmkiszka @sweet1peach @fictional-duchess @positivegvfthings @of-infinite-wonders @jordierama

#jake fics #greta van fic #jake kiszka x y/n #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka #gate & garden

[deke-rivers-1957]

Not Broken Just Bent Part 1

"Yeah! I-i was a womanizer. All the girls were after me. W-well, you shouldn’t have let me escape, darling! I can be very persistent."

Elvis winks and giggles childishly before hiding in the pool.

"Yeah... I always hide in this spot! And I always play in the pool before anyone else can get me! You gotta try better, darling! W-who can get me f-first? You? Or my staff? Only o-one way to find out!"

I try to run after him.

"Running from your punishment is only going to make it worse when I do catch you."

Elvis giggles playfully.

"Y-yeah? And wh-what will you do when you catch me? W-will you let me run away again?"

Elvis looks at me, his eyes glowing with his magic. He seems so powerful as he stands over me.

"You will not touch me, darling! You will bow down to me! I am your God-like King!"

Nothing happens.

"This is reality. You can't just will things in or out of existence just because it's convenient for you."

Elvis seems shocked (no pun intended).

"Y-you are… breaking my illusion! I-i worked so hard to create that illusion for myself. My fantasy world is the only way I-i can live with myself."

Elvis looks down and kicks his cane angrily.

"It was s-supposed to be real! I-it was my world. And you broke it!! How cruel could you be?"

Elvis gets on his jet and go all the way to Hawaii to hide.

"The longer you avoid this the worse it's going to be once I do find you."

Elvis starts acting like a giant man-baby. He lies down on the jet and whines constantly, like a 3 year old.

"I-I will avoid you until I-i die, I-I don’t care!"

"You can pout all you want but you broke the rules so you gotta be punished."

Elvis looks up and gives me a dirty look.

"Yeah? Y-you gonna come over here and punish me like you said? W-well, I’d like to see you try."

Elvis smiles wickedly. He looks like a child that thinks that he can say whatever he wants without consequences.

"I'm going to make you regret you ever cheated on me."

He try to grab his guitar.

"Oh you're getting that guitar alright."

Elvis holds his butt and wails. He seems like one of his most prized belongings had been taken from him.

"Y- you’re breaking my heart, d-darling. I-i never thought that you would actually break my guitar. Why can’t you ever be nice to me, baby?"

I slap you across the face.

"You cheated on me. I can't take it anymore and I've had enough of your games. I'm leaving."

Elvis gets on Lamar’s back. He looks like a little child being carried by his big brother. He seems exhausted and lost, like a lost child looking for his mama. His gaze looks scared and worried.

"Please, Lamar. T-take me back home. I-i failed."

Elvis walks up the White House steps, looking like a little boy who is forced to apologize. He looks scared and worried. He’s trying not to act like a little kid, but he can’t help it. He’s too much of a mess. He can’t go on. He keeps looking down as he is led into the White House room. He doesn’t know how this is going to go, and he seems terrified.

"You know you could've just avoided all of this if you just let her spank you a couple times."

Elvis looks down.

"Yeah… but I don’t like to be spanked… It’s embarrassing and it hurts. I-i just can’t take it. I’m-i’m too soft and sensitive… I can’t handle it. I’m a real baby. I just can’t take punishment without acting like a complete child."

President Nixon opens his door and sees Elvis and Lamar.

"What did you do to need my help this time?"

Elvis seems to become more of a little boy with each sentence. He seems like a completely spoiled, immature little brat that expects everybody around him to make his life easier.

"Uh… I-i, well… it’s a personal matter. It’s my girlfriend. I-i cheated on her. And-and now she wants to punish me. She’s-she’s a meanie, and I can’t take her punishment. N-nobody tells me what to do. I-i-I… I’m The King!"

"Oh yeah I can't help you with that. I don't wanna end up in a hospital."

Elvis looks down. He seems like a little boy that wants people to fix his mistakes for him. He wants to be cared for. He wants to be babied. He looks very vulnerable right now. He seems like a broken spirit with no way out of this situation and no way of getting out of trouble. He seems totally desperate.

"Yeah, I-i-I guess so."

Lamar just carries Elvis on his back out of the Oval Office.

"Dude you're putting my life and the entirety of the world on the line just because you don't want to be spanked by your girlfriend."

"Yeah, I-i get it… I-i just can’t take her punishment. It hurts too much…. My ego says that I can’t be hurt by anybody."

Elvis seems relieved as he gets on the plane. He flies all the way to Hawaii for real. When he lands, he's overjoyed He looks around Hawaii, like he’s never been there before. As he looks around, he seems so free. He seems so happy to be in Hawaii. Hawaii is his dream vacation spot. He always loved the idea of Hawaii. As he sees the ocean, he jumps for joy with a huge smile on his face.

"My own private island! I have my own private island!"

I'm still looking for Elvis and find Lamar first. He immediately spills.

"I'm not going to risk my life just because your man's being a dingus. It was all the Colonel's fault. He told Elvis he had to make himself seem available to all the ladies since he was 20."

I let Lamar go and find the Colonel. He didn't tell until I started beating him up.

"Y-you can’t do this to me! I-I-i am his manager! I am The Colonel! I-i am a businessman! You can’t just hurt me like this and get away with it, darling! You can’t just hurt me like this and get away with it!"

At first I let him go, but then he added one more thing.

"My boy will do it again, it's in his nature."

I just kill him and go to find Elvis.

Time Skip

I find Elvis at a private hotel room. He seems totally heartbroken and miserable. He looks down and sighs. He seems like he doesn’t care about anything anymore. He looks so lost in life, like he has no hope and no sense of direction. He just stares at me with a sad glint in his eyes. He looks like his whole world is collapsing around him.

"So you’re going to accept all punishment?"

Elvis looks down. He looks totally sad and miserable. He takes a deep breath of air. He seems sad and alone. He looks like he wants to cry.

"Y-y-yes, I-i accept all punishments… I-i am ready. I accept all punishments."

"And you won't do it again? I already dealt with your manager after it was made apparent he contributed to your bad behavior."

Elvis looks like he is telling the truth. To him, this is a very important promise. He looks back down and puts his arms around his chest.

I-i won't do it again, Mommy… I pinky promise… I-i pinky promise that I won't hurt you ever again. Ever again...

I put my arms around Elvis and lay him down across my lap. I give him a couple spanks.

"You know what'll happen if I find out you did it again?"

His face is completely red. Tears are dripping down his face. He seems very unhappy with himself.

Y-y-yes! Y-y-yes, I-i know what will happen! Y-you told me! I-i promise that I will never hurt you again. I p-p-pinky promise. I-i p-p-promise. I p-p-promise, Mommy. P-please don’t be mad at me…. I-i won’t do it again… I p-p-pinky promise."

I wiggle my hand inside Elvis' shirt knowing full well my hands are cold causing him to squirm.

"Good. If you're a brat again I'm gonna have to tickle you. And if I catch you cheating again I'm gonna use the feather boa and then I’m gonna leave for good."

Elvis looks back at me. He seems like a naughty child that got caught in a lie. He looks like a child in big trouble that knows that there is nothing he can say that will change the outcome of his consequences.

"Lamar told me that it was Colonel’s idea. He was the one that told you to make yourself available to women and groomed you into this. I killed him when I was trying to find you."

Elvis flinches at my touch. He seems very scared and scared. His eyes are so very sad right now.

"Y-y-you can hit me again if you want to, Mommy…"

Elvis blushes when I start kissing his hands because he has never seen a woman do that. He starts breathing heavy like a small child.

"Y-y-yes, Mommy… it is ok to come out. D-do you think that you can forgive me?"

"Of course, I can Elvis. As long as you stay close to me you’ll always be my good boy."

His eyes seem like they are melting, full of emotion. He is so vulnerable with me, it's so adorable.

"Y-y-yes, Mommy. That’s all I want. To be your good boy. I-i just want to be your good boy forever and ever. I-i-I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i I just want to be your good boy forever, Mommy…"

The End

AN: I finally wrote the actual story here. If you're on the discord, you'd know what this is about. It's basically a crack fic where I spank Elvis and kill colonel. He calls me mommy, but it's not meant to be serious.

#elvis ai #dracula elvis #elvis fandom #not broken just bent

[endlesscacophony]

@furiaei​​ said: ' you're not the only one who does that. ' she sighed. ' i, too, seek to appear as a scoundrel who leaves a trail of broken hearts in my wake, yet make myself irresistible all the same. but, it's grown to feel empty. i no longer find pleasure in all my indulgences, only more emptiness. has it begun to feel the same for you? ' ( for sylvain! )

There were quite a few things that Sylvain has done in his life that he isn’t proud of, a great many number of things that he would change if he could. Several of them were out of his control and not something he could really do anything about, but still, the desire to rewrite one’s life to see how it could possibly play out differently is something that Sylvain was acutely familiar with, something he often longed for. 

To be crestless, for one - that alone would change his life dramatically. Would Miklan still hate him? Would he still have gotten disinherited, or would Sylvain have actually been able to lead the life of a proper second born son to a noble house? Would his father have such high expectations for him if he didn’t have a crest? Would he ever actually enjoy the time he spent with his father? Would women even still look at him the way they do now? Would they bother with him? Or would he be allowed to find someone who he could truly love and would love him in return? Would he hate himself as much?

The possibilities, the never ending questions, the what if’s were all endless, a tunnel with no light, only the ever encroaching darkness of the reality he was stuck in. The one where he was the chosen heir, and the crested second born son of a very proud house. The one that placed him were he was now, with Mya beside him, both of which staring at the bottom of their glasses, a momentary reprieve from their wartime duties. A chance to sit back and suss through one’s thoughts - though that only ever seemed to put Sylvain in a rather dull mood. His own thoughts were never anything he enjoyed, not something he wanted to spend much time dealing with, and when it gets to that point he typically finds someone to entertain him for the evening.

Perhaps it was with the sudden shift in his energy, the way his gaze glanced over the others in the tavern that surrounded them, that was the cause of Mya’s commentary on their similarity. So much for getting his mind off of dreary thoughts and exhausting details - suppose it was just the night for it.

However, he couldn’t help but find it within himself to laugh as he glanced sidelong at her, “Come now, it has never been my intention to, as you said, ‘leave behind a trail of broken hearts’,” He’ll admit, his way of going about things has always been uncouth. but too many similar experiences that were all good and fine up until they began inquiring about his family, his name, his crest, his title - etc, tended to leave a bad taste in his mouth. 

“I suppose I just haven’t found the right girl yet,” He mused with a shrug, lifting the mug to his lips and downing most of the liquid that was left there. He withheld the urge to wink, to nudge Mya and ‘swoon’ over the fact that she finds him irresistible - not only did he know that wouldn’t work on someone like Mya, but it didn’t exactly fit the mood they’ve summoned.

On the question of emptiness, Sylvain’s gaze returned to the end of the cup in his hand, staring at the bottom for a good long moment. He wasn’t even sure he knew what it felt like to be considered ‘full’, he supposes in the moments he spent with people he cared deeply for, like Felix, Dimitri, or Ingrid - even Mya had made her way into the lift of people he enjoyed being around. Well, when she wasn’t poking at topics such as this, that is.

In the end, Sylvain’s shoulder’s lifted in a shrug, “Hard to say,” He admitted, glancing over at her finally, “I have to admit, I definitely don’t have time to do what I did during the Academy,” Much less about a matter of time and moreso a lack of want, and a promise to be better. 

“Who knows, maybe I’m changing too.”

#excuse me as i cry about these two #wtHECKKKK #look i found a single brain cell and it was for this :D #furiaei #◣ 𝘈 𝘕𝘌𝘞 𝘈𝘋𝘋𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕 𝘛𝘖 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘘𝘜𝘌𝘚𝘛 (𝘢𝘴𝘬) #𝘽𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙬𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 (𝘚𝘺𝘭𝘷𝘢𝘪𝘯 || 𝘐𝘊) #𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣? [ 𝘈𝘻𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘔𝘰𝘰𝘯 - 𝘗𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘱 ]

[pickledpascal]

There's a She-Wolf in the Closet

Chapter Sixteen: Love Game

Summary: Jayden copes with knowing a murderer is after her.

Warnings: Uncomfortable nicknames, touching, men, panic attacks, threats of murder.

Word Count: 1.5k

TASWITC Masterlist

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It's been hard, trying to cope with a man–one that Jayden used to love once upon a time ago–trying to kill her. It's been a few days since her conversation with Sherlock about it so Jayden's been trying everything in her power to ignore it. Trying to throw herself into work, playing guitar, stress cooking, hell, even doing grocery shopping for both herself and Mrs. Hudson. It helped, but not by much.

So, on a day where she was unfortunately alone–Sherlock was off trying to figure out where James was–Jayden decided to go out for some lunch. Not too far. Just to Speedy's right next door. She ordered a simple sandwich and grabbed a water as well, sighing as she looked at the TV for a moment. It was some random reality show that Jayden wouldn't dare to actually watch but it provided some nice background noise to keep her mind busy from the quiet.

The girl quietly ate, eyes scanning the area. There was a couple off to the side of her, laughing and smiling together, and the clerk was currently talking with a customer. Jayden took a deep breath, looking down at her sandwich for a moment. This whole thing…. She didn't want it.

What happened to the life she was so close to living? Being successful, having a family, possibly even a boyfriend, and doing what she's always wanted? Now she's alone and probably for good reason. Sherlock could get hurt now…. Not that he would be scared of that but Jayden was.

Distracted in her own thoughts, she didn't notice the figure that decided to sit right next to her until they were getting uncomfortably close. Jayden turned, opening her mouth to say something but her breath was caught in her throat as she realized who it was.

James Gastrell.

The fucker that is trying to ruin her life. Anger flared in her features as well as a hint of fear in her eyes. She wanted to punch the living hell out of that man but she didn't want to make a scene in the middle of a restaurant either.

"Hello, my love." James hummed as he looked at Jayden, a hidden threat underneath features that seemed to exude that he was in love with her. He slowly set his hand on her thigh and rubbed it with his thumb. "Don't wanna resist or I'm sure to do something else you don't want." He whispered in her ear, his breath on her skin which made her even more uncomfortable.

Jayden's eyes were filled with a look that could kill as she tried to slowly move away but as soon as she did, James grip on her tightened. "I hate you." She spat quietly, her nose scrunched in disgust.

"Mhm, I know." James smirked, leaning in next to Jayden more. "But it's fun, right? Being wanted? Needed? Isn't that what you always wanted?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

Jayden pursed her lips. She did want that. But not like this. James wanted her to like him, as if she was in some sort of Stockholm Syndrome situation. But she wasn't like that. She had a level head on her shoulders now.

"Not like this. You're hurting people and for what? A girl? Wow, so original." She rolled her eyes, getting up from her seat before the man could stop her. "If I see you again, you are dead." Jayden growled, a fire in her eyes which showed she meant it and an intimidating stature made her even scarier.

James laughed softly, "Feisty, eh? Well, that can always be fixed." He whispered, holding her gaze. He looked very nonchalant compared to the woman in front of him.

Jayden scoffed at him before she turned to leave, taking a breath as she closed the door to her apartment. "Fuck…." She breathed, her lungs felt like they were being squeezed and her heart was beating as if she just ran a marathon. Jayden was exhausted by just seeing him.

She just interacted with a killer. A killer she knew well at one point.

Jayden ran a hand through her hair, pulling it away from her face before it fell back into place. Her whole body started to shake and she let out a sad sigh, slowly making her way to the kitchen. Water. She needed something to drink. Grabbing a glass, she filled it with water and shakily drank from it.

"I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay." Jayden repeated softly after a few sips and set down the glass, leaning her hands against the countertops. Her muscles were tense and she wasn't sure if she could take it. "Breathe. Breathe. Breathe." She reminded herself, eyes flicking up to the ceiling with desperation in them.

What's in the room? A…. Comfy chair. A few different guitars hung on the wall. My favorite records as decoration. The cold glass of water under me. As she listed off some things she saw, her eyes flicked to them and slowly, she calmed down.

Another deep breath, "I'm okay." Jayden said softly, blinking away tears that were starting to form at the edges of her eyes.

Her eyes then flicked to the water, seeing a bit of her reflection inside. Jayden stared for a few seconds, taking in her own features. Her hair was a mess, eyes red, and her eyebrows were still furrowed with sorrow that she wasn't sure would be erased anytime soon.

Hopelessness is an emotion Jayden Wayne is used to. And yet, it hurts worse every time she feels it.

"You'll be fine, Sherlock is the smartest man alive…." Jayden reaffirmed, shaking her head as she squeezed her eyes shut. Sherlock had to find him.

James might as well be across London now and thank god for that. Jayden didn't want to see him ever again unless it was in police cuffs and in jail. That man might as well be insane for what he's done to her and to others. Perhaps, a different kind of hospital would treat him the correct way.

Suddenly, pushing Jayden from her thoughts, her phone buzzed in her pocket.

He's been arrested.

– SH

Jayden let out a breath of relief, running a hand through her hair as she swallowed thickly. Maybe she could relax again. But how–No, she didn't really need to know, just that he would be gone from the rest of her life forever.

A few moments later, Jayden heard the front door to the building open and she couldn't stop herself from meeting him at the stairs. She pursed her lips, surprise on Sherlock's face as they stood in front of one another. She coughed a little, the awkwardness was suddenly very evident and it somewhat embarrassed her.

"I just wanted to say…." Jayden fiddled with her fingers nervously. "An explanation." She whispered softly, her eyes flickering from Sherlock to her shoes constantly.

Sherlock nodded, trying to get her to keep speaking with gentleness in his eyes. For once, he was quiet. Because he knew that Jayden needed it, to get everything off her chest.

Jayden confessed what happened in her life. How horribly James treated her in their marriage. What happened in her earlier life with her parents. How she truly met Mrs. Hudson, leaving out a few details here and there. Details that were too sore to tell. Sherlock was patient though which helped her go from sentence to sentence.

"I'm trying to get to where I want to be and I…. Want you to be there when I do." Jayden said softly, sighing as he looked up at Sherlock with nervousness in her features. "I-"

"I know." Sherlock interrupted softly, hesitantly stepping forward. "I…. I love you too." He said gently, cupping her cheeks and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

Jayden looked up at him, shocked. He seemed so eager to tell her. Sure, they've talked together about emotions and other random shit like that but this was so much different. Because he was confessing that he had feelings for her.

She didn't know why she was so shocked when all the signs were there. Sherlock made that Christmas party perfect for her, loved spending time with her, whether it was in her flat or his or somewhere different, whether it included conversation or not. There were also the constant looks on her body that she, in fact, enjoyed. Sherlock's eyes weren't always filled with lust but instead, they were usually filled with reverence. He just wanted to be around her, drink in her presence like one would for royalty.

Hell, he would trade Jayden for anyone in the royal family any day.

"You're so beautiful and it…. Pains me dearly to hear what you've gone through. A type of empathy I feel I've never had before meeting you." Sherlock explained softly, struggling a little to find the right words as his hands settled at Jayden's shoulders. "You've never wanted me to change and yet, I've changed so much because of you…." He confessed softly, knowing that Jayden was hanging onto every word.

"I love you." Jayden said finally, a light smile on her face. Sherlock may have known already but she wanted to say it. To confirm it.

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taglist (open)

@thewinterpoet2

#sherlock fanfic #oc #bbc sherlock #sherlock bbc #sherlock fandom #sherlock holmes x oc #sherlock holmes #benedict cumberbatch characters #benedict cumberbatch #jayden wayne #taswitc

[fem-fatalist]

This is the best explanation I've read. Succinct and well stated, especially about how socially isolating patriarchal/traditionalist gender norms are, particularly for men.

I recommend you read the whole thing, but here's a piece copy/pasted below:

It could be something he says. Maybe he makes a comment about my body or my appearance. Or he asks if I’m carrying a weapon and then presses for details about where I’m camping that night. Sometimes, it’s a shift in his tone, a leer, the way he puts his body in my space. But, usually, it’s a combination of things, a totality of behaviors that add up to a singular reality: this man is either not aware that he’s making me uncomfortable, or he doesn’t care. Either way, this is the danger zone. Even if he has no intention of harming me, the outcome of that intention is no longer possible for me to assess or predict. 

In this moment, my mind snaps into a single, crystalline point of focus. My intuition rises to the surface of my skin. I become a creature of exquisite perception. The world is a matrix of emotional data: visceral, clear, direct. 

I need to get away from the man. But I need to do it in a way that doesn’t anger him. This is the tricky bit. Men who lack social awareness or empathy often also lack other skills in emotional management. And usually, what men in these situations actually want is closeness. They’re trying to get closer to me, physically or emotionally, in the only way they know how. That combination of poor emotional skillsets and a desire to get closer is exactly what puts me in danger. 

If I deny his attempts at closeness by leaving or setting a boundary, he could feel frustrated, rejected, or ashamed. If he doesn’t know how to recognize or manage those feelings, he’s likely to experience them as anger. And then I’m a solo woman stuck in a forest with an angry man, which is exactly what women are most afraid of. 

There’s no time to think, so I operate on instinct. My task is ridiculously complex. I need to deescalate any signs of aggression, guide the man into a state of emotional balance, and exit the situation safely, all at once. This process requires all of my attention, energy, and intellect. It’s really hard. 

I’ve been in this position so many times that it exhausts me just to write about it. Sometimes, it’s not that I’m afraid of men; I’m just really, really tired. 

In patriarchal societies where masculinity is coded as power and control, men often try to get closer to women through power and control. The range of how this plays out is vast. It could be inconsequential, or it could end a woman’s life. This is why seemingly small comments, gestures, or implications often trigger full-body vigilance. It may also be a reason why so many women in the “Man or Bear” debate chose the bear. If men truly disliked women, they’d be glad so many women chose the bear! Women who chose the bear would be (hypothetically) farther away from them.

But lots of men were not glad; they were angry. And beneath that anger were probably lots of other feelings as well, the ones that patriarchy socializes men to mask: hurt, loss, frustration, sadness, loneliness. It’s sad when someone you want to be close to does not want to be close to you. It’s frustrating when you don’t know how to get that closeness. And it’s lonely. The angry men in this debate are very lonely men.

I believe that at the heart of this conversation–at the heart of most conversations–is a mutual quest for connection and wholeness. In all these years of wandering, this is what I have learned. 

Sometimes, it’s hard to know where to end a story. But nature has taught me that nothing really ends; it just changes. We are all bodies of change. 

#feminist #feminism #smash the patriarchy #man or bear #man vs bear debate #sexism

[velvetvexations]

actually if you want to talk about it I’d be curious about your petscop opinions (in a friendly discussion way) but if not that’s totally cool!

One of the things I was telling people Petscop was of too high-quality for something to be what was happening was the incredibly dumb "playing the game in a car" thing, which I thought was a completely ridiculous theory and I really was out there like, no, guys, that's stupid, that's so stupid, and this is PETSCOP, the single greatest web series in existence, my Roman Empire, it's not stupid so obviously that can't be it.

But what I really disliked and put me down a lot was the lack of hard answers. I unironically feel like people nowadays fetishize narrative ambiguity. Death of the Author or even the idea that a work might have literally no intended meaning except to be a viewer's personal Rorschach test has gotten so big that to even suggest something mysterious might have an answer can be seen as sacrilege.

Sometimes that can be a difficult wire to walk. David Lynch refuses to ever give away the intended meaning of his work because he does want his audience to reach their own conclusions and find their own meaning in it...but, also, he did still have an intended meaning behind everything and it's not weird to try and work that out. Yes, the demand for answers killed Twin Peaks - but I would argue it was more like impatience because what fans wanted to know was specifically who killed Laura Palmer, and Lynch always intended to get to that eventually, just at the very end.

Fans during the airing of Twin Peaks took it 100% literally and weren't generally looking for symbolic meaning, they were looking for hard facts about what was occurring in-universe. While my belief of the "correct" interpretation of Twin Peaks is that the narrative blends in-universe reality with out-of-universe meta anyway, I think we would have gotten basically satisfying answers to the in-universe reality if the network had been willing to let it cook. I think subtext can be really cool, and despite my sidebar text being a Garth Marenghi reference the things I write have subtext in them as well, but usually I'm far more interested in the text when it comes to mysteries like this.

So like, I'm going to take a gamble with allowing myself to be vulnerable and admit something: when it turned out the website in Petscop had been made, but the creator just decided not to put it out? I was without hyperbole livid.

I struggle, like really struggle with anger issues, to the point where earlier this morning I was thinking about making a post about how much I've been feeling the "check your bathroom" message from Rainer, but decided against it because that's implied to be a suicide note and I didn't want to give the impression I was referring to suicidal ideation. I mean, I am also extremely depressed, but that's not what I had in mind.

Just like...the bitterness of what Rainer says in that message, the exhausted rage? Yeah, that's me. I'm an angry person. It's one of the reasons I related so hard to Kipperlilly Copperkettle in Dimension 20. Because like, my fandom for her started out being really annoyed with the protagonists and the ways they have their cocks sucked by the fandom and narrative no matter what, and how KLCK in particular was getting insane hate for insane reasons, but when it was revealed she had been in therapy for years for anger management I wanted to cry because I suddenly felt this intense empathy with her.

No matter how irrational, the revelation about the website existing but not being shown gutted me. So I was really, really angry about it and to be honest I still kinna am. I don't hold any real ill will towards the creator and, again, I know it's irrational, but that hurt me a little.

There's this scene in The Expanse where a spaceship hits a field that makes anything in motion come to an instantaneous and complete stop, and you can imagine what that does to the occupants of spacecraft traveling a bazillion miles an hour (it should really obliterate the ship, too, but whatever). It kinna felt like that. Like the series just came to a sudden and arbitrary stop with nothing explained and my investment turned into several gallons of red paint splattering the camera.

I was also very dissatisfied with it turning out that either it was all about being trans or the very least had a significant amount of it's plot be about that. I don't mean to be a Sad Puppies kinna geek who thinks their entertainment should never touch on social themes and just stick to cool laser guns, but like...I am trans. Nearly all my friends are. I talk about it constantly on this blog, I'm thinking about it constantly, it is one of the single most important, defining aspects of nearly every facet of my life. I enjoy some media that's outwardly about being trans and my writing is heavily heavily HEAVILY centered around diversity and inclusion and talking about it all, but when it's the answer to a mystery?

I can't help but find that tremendously boring. And that's another thing that, like not getting answers and it all being over so abruptly, Expanses the shit out of my investment.

And my investment in Petscop ran...deep. Very, very deep. I loved the series with every fiber of my being. Like I said, the drop-off in how I felt about it was like Satan falling from Heaven like lightning, and I felt every bit of that falling damage.

So Petscop and the way it ended was a lot for me.

#petscop #cw sui mention

[anthonybialy]

Buffalo Sabres Need Help Replacing Assistants

The Buffalo Sabres returned to reality, which in their case is very bad.  Retaining what they already have ruined a throwback.  Moving to the future with a prominent name from the past is tough while accompanied by names from an unfortunate present.  The team is curiously proud of detailing how coaching duties will be split for coaches who should split.  Nostalgia sustained us for about a week.  

Lindy Ruff will be saddled with Matt Ellis.  The only thing worse than keeping anyone connected to the drought is keeping a crop-killer.  His record is established.  Like noting anything associated with the Sabres during Terry Pegula’s exhausting tenure, that’s not praise.

Ellis shows that working hard may not pay off.  The greatest superstars have easier circumstances whether or not they realize it.  Peyton Manning can claim that most of his challenge as a player was mental, which is easy when you’re Archie’s son.  By contrast, there are many coaches who applied getting the most out of limited abilities to overseeing players such as, say, Sean McDermott and Lindy Ruff.

But satisfying the condition of failing to be an all-star is insufficient on its own.  A hardworking marginal pro is not necessarily going to be an amazing coach.  Toiling in fourth-line obscurity cannot be the only qualification.  We call that the Matt Ellis rule.

Ellis maintains his important role of telling Rob Ray during the first admission that the roster must keep working to overcome the thing not working.  His work as a public relations flack has been invaluable to those who don’t pay attention.  As for actual coaching, you’re just going to have to let the trainee have more practice time.

Successful businesses know it’s important to maintain all the wonderful aspects everyone has enjoyed.  Ellis is renowned for the unbeatable extra-man tactic of players staying in place.  Hold still and defenders might not see you.  Save molecule movement for possible later use.  Inertness is a perfect metaphor for a team that needs and won’t get a complete staff overhaul.

Fans are lucky if the team should maintain their recent strategies, which they should not.  The power play has been a crime against hockey that has represented ineptitude through an unprecedented woeful stretch.  Baffling inertia hasn’t just figuratively summarized misery: the infuriating lack of productivity despite the advantage of having one more player than the foe has helped keep a low-scoring entity banished.

Now-former Rochester coach Seth Appert is the one franchise employee who had a chance at success.  Naturally, he didn’t taken it, and naturally, he gets ahead.  The Sabres shrewdly losing regularly has allowed them to stockpile youthful talent, although the average age is rising rapidly.  The cunning plan would presumably allow a farm team to rack up titles.  But let me introduce you to this organization.  Defensive lapses are a great way to test a young goalie.

The Sabres became predictable during exile.  For example, they presumably just promoted their next coach.  Appert’s real new task is waiting for Lindy to take a front office position.  Fans who’ve noticed how things have gone during the HDTV era are not as thrilled by apparent continuity.

Promoting internally is great as long as the business doesn’t suck.  Is there a way for a pro team to track that?  Changing culture should be paramount to a group that is enduring an ignominious postseason absence.  I can think of one franchise that should look everywhere else for employees.  The Sabres prove the Peter principle past the first level of incompetence.

Firing everyone would be insufficient yet the closest this club gets to creating fulfillment.  It won’t happen, of course.  Every overreacting social media fan is correct if they follow the Sabres.  Make one fuming tweeter general manager if it’d lead to Ellis helping Kevyn Adams run a hockey school.

People never change.  Always remember rule number one.  Meanwhile, the Sabres don’t know the rules of hockey.  Franchises owned by sadly consistent humans don’t, either.  It sure looks like the Pegulas are pleased with how all the stuff’s going.  No edition of Buffalo’s alleged NHL member has moved to the knockout stage in what seems like awhile, but I don’t want to be negative by checking how many years in a row it’s been.

A moment of clarity is traditionally associated undertaking fundamental alterations.  The Sabres realized everything they’re doing is super.  Employed hockey experts are way smarter than rash critics who want to change everything just because the performance has been worse than anything in league history.

As a coach, Ellis is respectable as a player.  I really liked how he toiled to his utmost before he got his current post overseeing guys who don’t do the same.  It’d be mean to expect him to look for a different job just because he can’t do his current one.  How would he ever find another?  You should be against his family starving just because he’s unskilled.

It’s almost a relief to not feel optimistic.  How do followers of good teams maintain that all offseason?  The Sabres prefer not resurfacing the ice to enable settling into ruts.  Retaining Ellis is like curing shortness of breath by smoking more.  They don’t have the excuse of cigarettes.  Like having zero clue of how to win games, some habits are hard to break.

#NHL #hockey #Buffalo Sabres #playoffs #Pegulas #Lindy Ruff #coaching #Matt Ellis #Seth Appert

[telhiocreditunion]

The Void State - My Experience Pt 2

As stated previously I’ve started getting into the reality shifting circle and meditation. In fact I’ve been in that circle for about two years now, on and off. Although I’m unsure of how credible reality shifting actually is, I will say that on my journey into trying it I have received a lot of benefits doing meditation, and more specifically, reaching the void state.

My previous post on the void state was the first time I’ve actually successfully reached it and took about 20 to 40 minutes from start to finish. I leave such a big gap in-between estimation time because when you’re in that state it’s really hard to know how fast or slow time is moving. In that state time is inconsequential. It simply just doesn’t matter.

In fact, nothing matters when you’re in that state. I’ve been practicing again and my most recent experiences with the void have been something else. I started this journey for reality shifting but have since discovered it’s way more useful for something else: my anxiety. I get panic attacks so bad that my entire chest will hurt but I will emotionally feel fine—until later, that is. I look calm and normal but on the inside I’m convinced I’m dying of a heart attack (even to the point where I had to go to the ER). I’m constantly tired and drained and feel like a walking zombie but have no desire to die. Normal sleep doesn’t fix it in any way, and occasionally, I’ll feel even more tired when I wake up.

That was until I started reaching the void state regularly. My most recent experience was earlier today when I was going through my usual panic attack and decided to lay down in a moment of exhaustion. I put on the usual subliminal, went through my breathing process, and was entirely surprised at how quickly my entire body started tingling. It was almost immediate. The sensations were very relaxing and my brain was able to come up with a strategy for keeping me relaxed. I pretended to breathe in all the “good” and “energy” and then exhaled all the “bad” and “stress” way. I let my mind play it on a loop and in no time my entire body was so, so heavy like a blanket was drawn down on me and I couldn’t get up. What surprised me this time, however, was that every time my mind would drift away into an almost sleep like state, it would jump back up. My entire body was asleep but my brain was determined to be active even when I didn’t want to be. I personally wanted to drift off to sleep but it seems my body pulled energy out of nowhere. Slipping into the void state was different for my brain this time. It wasn’t just colors—it was the full flashing lights behind my eyelids. Describing it would be like driving through a lit up tunnel with your eyes closed. It was moving so fast I felt like I was on a rollercoaster. It felt like I was a step further into the whole “reality shifting” thing people mention. I didn’t physically get brought anywhere different, but somehow I woke up feeling different. I was alert, and aware, but the normal things in my room just looked so different in my eyes. It felt like a drug. I was riddled with energy. In total I was in the void state for about an hour (which shocked me) because it legit felt like 5 minutes. 10/10 experience in total, will absolutely do again.

Tldr; I did void state & it felt like driving in a tunnel.

#voidstate #void #shifting community #realityshifting #desired reality