#I mean we all saw what happened when SPN tried it

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

"if Buck or Eddie is going to be revealed as queer, it means Buddie will be happening." I actually completely agree with this but can I ask you why you think this? I also want to say that I don't think Eddie needs this kind of experiment arc or self discovery arc Buck is going to get. Eddie is just going to simply be in love with his best friend, and that will be it. Buck will be the experienced one.

I think that if they're giving Buck a self-discovery/experimentation arc they won't give one to Eddie because that would be redundant.

I wondered in season five if Eddie would come out - it was very heavily coded that way in my opinion - which would've meant that Buck then wouldn't get a self-discovery/experimentation arc. Again in my opinion. It would just be redundant to have both of them do that.

So yes, I agree with you, I think Eddie is just simply going to be in love with his best friend. Which I think suits him best. I personally don't think Eddie would bother to label himself or care about that kind of thing and would say "well I'm not straight" if asked and leave it at that.

The reason I think that if one or both of them is coming out as queer it means Buddie will be happening is that if the writers are cognizant enough to realize the audience sees queerness in one or both of them, they are also cognizant enough of the fact that making one or both of them queer and not getting them together is a) ridiculous and b) unkindly teasing the audience.

Looking at the situation as a writer, the simplest, easiest, obvious solution is to have Buck and Eddie date each other. If I'm going to make them queer, why would I reinvent the wheel by introducing a love interest the audience may not like, that I'll have to do extra work to get the audience to like, when I can just get them with each other?

Additionally, if I have noticed "hey we kinda made 'em queer and people have noticed," then I have also noticed the audience wants them together. To make Buck queer and give him a coming out episode/arc but then not get him with Eddie is rather like Lucy yanking the football away from Charlie Brown. While it's fun to bait and switch your audience in some ways (like who will have their life in danger in an episode, etc), you don't want to alienate your audience or make them feel played or cheated.

To make Buck queer and then not get him with Eddie would be like a middle-finger consolation prize. "Here FINE Buck's into men are you HAPPY?" And while there are definitely showrunners and writers out there who are that level of petty, most are not. Most care about their characters, story, and audience, and frankly most don't want to risk alienating their audience that much.

I think by now, showrunners and other head creatives are aware that "well we won't get the two together but we'll make one of them bi" isn't going to be treated as the well-intentioned consolation prize they think it is.

Additionally while I have a lot I'd like to yell at Tim about, he did say forever ago (back in season three I believe) that he never wants to make writing decisions based on pettiness or spite, and I choose to believe he stands by that.

Of course nothing is set in stone and if they do make Buck queer they might not make Buddie canon. But to me it simply makes the most sense. It's the easiest route and the most likely explanation for why Buck is coming out, and to not do it would be yanking the rug out from under your audience a bit, and I don't think any sensible writing team or showrunner would do that.

#mads answers things #I mean we all saw what happened when SPN tried it #didn't work out so great for them did it? #911 spec

[slvtwh0re]

Hello! How are you? I saw your post about requests and was wondering if you could write a one shot (Sam Winchester x reader).

The reader is hit by a spell that makes her feel a lot of pain, to the point of screaming. She also has a fever and even convulsions as the pain gets stronger. Sam takes care of her and tries to save her before the pain kills her.

I Bet On Losing Dogs

angst/fluff; spn, sam winchester

Warnings: pain, crying, near-death experience

Note: Thank you for your request! I hope you enjoy :)

Pain was something you were used to, but this hurt was something new. You were curled in a ball in the backseat of the Impala, screaming at the intense pressure running through your body. Sam cradled you and pushed Dean to drive faster.

The day had started off normal - well, as normal as it could for the three of you. You woke up, kissed Sam good morning, and prepared to hunt the witch you guys had been trailing. Things took a turn for the worst when you were caught by surprise and the witch had enough time to cast a spell.

None of you were quite sure what the spell was, but all you knew was that it felt like you were dying. Hell, that could be the case. You were trembling in Sam's lap, feeling uncomfortably hot but sweating at the same time. You cried and gritted your teeth, gripping onto Sam's coat.

"Dean, how far are we?!" Sam brushed your hair out of your face, where it was sticking to your sweaty skin.

"We're almost to Bobby's," Dean assured them, glancing back at the two. "Don't worry, Y/N; we'll fix you."

You couldn't even utter a reply, and that was enough to prove the urgency of the situation. It felt like you were getting weaker by the second. Your eyes began falling closed, no matter how much you fought the sleep.

Sam looked down to see you with your eyes closed, body limp in his arms. Suddenly, your body began to convulse, making Sam jump in surprise. He rolled you on your side, trying to hold your head steady.

"Dean, go!" he yelled.

"Shit," he cursed. "We're almost there. Hold on..."

By the time you three pulled into Bobby's driveway, your body had stilled. Sam felt your neck, noticing the light pulse and breathing a sigh of relief at the fact you were still alive. He slid his arms under you and began running towards Bobby's house, with Dean quick on his heels.

"Bobby!" he yelled, pushing the door open with his foot.

Bobby came rushing out of the living room at the panic lacing Sam's voice. He stopped in his tracks when he saw you. "Get her on the couch," he commanded. "What happened?"

Sam set you down, propping pillows under your head as Dean explained. "The witch we were hunting hit her with a spell before we ganked her... Goddamn witches! Y/N was in pain - bad, like screaming and crying. I mean, Hell, she seized in the back of my car! What the hell is this, Bobby?!"

Bobby sighed. "Goddamnit... I know what's wrong with her, and I know how to reverse it - if we still have time, that is?"

"What?" Sam uttered, glancing away from you to look at them. "Do it, do the spell!"

"We don't have everything we need," Bobby replied, moving towards his pantry. "Now, if we do this quick, we can get it. Dean, I'm gonna make you a list. We'll get what we need and pray we make it home in time to heal her."

"What about me?" Sam asked.

"You stay with her and make sure she stays alive."

He watched as Bobby and Dean booked it outside. They had a mission, and time was running thin. Sam sighed and rested his head on the arm of the couch, right beside yours. He looked at you, remembering what you looked like when you were smiling at him.

"We're gonna help you, sweetheart," he whispered. "But you gotta fight... You can't die on me. I can't lose you..."

You and Sam had been together for quite some time now. Everyone was so used to how things were; you, Sam, and Dean, hunting together. Spending weeks at Bobby’s and random motels. Late night drives in Baby, rounds of drinks at the bar.

The three of you had been faced with death several times. Sam and Dean had managed to escape it more than any human should. But you’d never come this close - passed out, breathing ragged, and your pulse hardly noticeable. Sam had never been in this position, praying you’d wake up but being unable to do anything to help you.

“If you were awake right now, I know you’d ask me to talk to you,” he continued, reaching down to grab your limp hand. “To keep your mind occupied, off the pain… I don’t even know if you can hear me, but…”

It felt too strange for him to be sitting in a silent room with you, whether you were awake or not. Both of you always had something to talk about, whether it be research, reminiscing, or simply small talk. All of the sudden, he felt himself missing your voice and hating the sound of his own, but he continued.

“Do you remember when you and I took that road trip, just us? I’m surprised we got that much time without a case…” he chuckled dryly, forcing the laugh to make the conversation feel more genuine. “We had the jankiest car and hardly any money, but we made it fun. I still think about how pretty you looked that one night, when we went to the beach. That dress you wore, the smile on your face… We’ll make more of those memories. We have to, Y/N.”

The front door swung open and Dean stepped in, holding a bag in his hands. “I got the stuff, is Bobby back?”

Sam lifted his head and then said, “No.”

“How is she?” Dean dropped the bag on the table and walked into the living room, crouching down beside Sam.

“She’s still breathing, so…”

“Hey, Y/N.” Dean smiled at you, gripping your shoulder gently. “You’re gonna be fine.”

A few minutes passed with the brothers sitting beside you, waiting for Bobby to return. The ticking of the clock only fueled both of their panic. You still weren’t awake, unmoving and getting weaker by the second.

“Damnit, where is he?” Sam muttered, moving his gaze to stare out the window.

“He’ll be here,” Dean finalized, praying that he was right. “She’s gonna be fine, Sam.”

Before Sam could further voice his worry, Bobby came rushing inside. He didn’t take the time to ask any questions or explain anything. He simply grabbed Dean’s bag and began dumping the supplies onto the table.

“What can we do, Bobby?” Dean asked, climbing to his feet.

“Get me a piece of her hair,” he commanded as he poured an endless amount of things into a large bowl.

“Why?” Sam inquired, nonetheless reaching for your hair. He skillfully removed a strand and handed it to Bobby - you didn’t budge.

“The spell that was cast on her slowly drains the life out of her. Starts with the vital organs, so her body begins shutting down. Then, the other parts of her go with it - her memories, her spark, the thing that makes her her,” he explained as he gently placed the hair into the bowl.

“Wait-” Sam held his hand up. “She’ll be herself again after this, right?”

Bobby sighed, pausing to look at Sam. “Honestly… I’m not sure. If this reversal manages to heal her body and give her the rest, I’ll be surprised.”

“So, even if her body heals, she could be missing parts of her? Her memories, the things we’ve been through-”

“She’ll be fine, Sammy,” Dean interrupted. The longer they waited, the more he felt his nerves. You mattered to him, and first and foremost, he wanted you alive. They could worry about everything else later.

“According to legend, she’ll be okay,” Bobby assured Sam. “But we need to do this now. Dean, lighter.”

Dean handed Bobby a light. He grabbed a piece of paper covered in Latin scribblings and held it to the flame. Once it caught, he dropped it into the bowl.

Sam quickly moved back to your side as the spell burned. He watched you like a hawk, looking for any signs of movement. Dean and Bobby did the same from a distance.

It felt like time slowed as they waited. The flames began to shrink until they finally dissipated into nothing. For a moment, it seemed like there was no coming back…

…Until you did.

You inhaled a deep breath, feeling the fresh oxygen fill your lungs. It no longer felt like your insides were being ripped out, and your heart wasn’t pounding in your ears anymore. You looked around the living room of Bobby’s house, eyeing each person individually.

Sam breathed a sigh of relief before quietly saying, “Y/N…?”

Blinking a few times, you reached out to hold his face. “Hi, Sam…”

The nervous look on his face contorted into a smile and he felt a breathy laugh escape him. Dean grinned and moved forward to softly ruffle your hair, saying, “I told Sammy you’d be fine.”

“Good job, kid,” Bobby added. “You scared us for a second, there.”

You smiled softly, nodding. “I scared myself.”

“I hate witches,” Dean murmured.

“Believe me - me too,” you agreed. “But… I really need to shower. I’m all sweaty.”

Sam shook his head, chuckling as he stood and held a hand out to you. Of course, a warm shower was the second thing you thought of after beating death - after him, of course. You gladly took his hand and followed him upstairs, into Bobby’s bathroom.

Once you two were behind closed doors, he took the opportunity to kiss you. Although you’d been asleep for the remainder of your painful journey, you had still missed him. Knowing that you were so close to never seeing him again didn’t sit right with you.

“Don’t scare me like that again,” Sam pleaded against your lips, resting his forehead against yours.

“I don’t plan on it, sweetheart.” You smiled at him reassuringly. “Now, I’d like to take a shower and get some actual rest.”

Sam tucked your hair behind your ear, handling you with the utmost care. “I think that’s a great idea.”

[prairiedust]

one thousand days of destiel, or cas: fuckerupper of endings

Idk why I’m crawling out from under my woodpile to write this, except that it occurred to me that in three years I’ve not rewatched a single episode of Supernatural and have at least two dozen tags yet blacklisted on tumblr, and that I am still not okay about this stupid show.

I never tried to tie up the folklore/author themes I’d been geeking out about through the last seasons, neither as the show was ending nor afterwards. I’ve been simmering now for over a thousand days. I could not even write a complete sentence about spn for all this time, and so I just left that pot on the back burner and did other things. Finished my Master’s degree. Started a new job. Saw my oldest child graduate from high school and move off to college, and helped my younger child move on to sixth grade. Watched some other shows, got a new blorbo, saw some movies, started painting again, picked up a couple of new hobbies as I am wont to do.  

Today is the 5th of November, 2023. (ETA i sat on this for a bit.)

November 5th, 2020, was exactly one thousand and ninety-five days ago.

I see gifs from the show from time to time and I think to myself, wow, that scene/episode/series is completely irrelevant to my life now. I am fine and normal about everything. But if it really was, if I really was, it would not hurt so much to see the gifs and the lyric posts and the amvs when they aren’t caught in my tag filters. So maybe it’s time to get some things out of my head and onto paper.

I genuinely, nearsightedly, naively thought that since Dabb et al had been the ones writing the whole folk v author themes, and thus posing as someone we could count as being on “our side,” the folk-side of the postmodern audience, they’d honor that conceit, even to the very last shot. 

They did not.

And yet… they absolutely did.

Which hurts and is fucked up, but also it’s fine. It’s fine.

In the end, the only “folk hero” (by which I mean the only force in the spn universe capable of warping the threads of the story with any permanence) was Castiel. When Castiel left the story (of his own volition, if you can find a comfortable layer of this meta pie for that concept to rest in,) the writers reverted to God Mode. Because Castiel had been their freedom, their mouthpiece, their avenue for improvisation, and so at the end of the series…

well, we got You changed me/I love you

   •

and then we got “Cas helped.”

So much has been written about that pivot point, but genuinely I don’t give a rat’s ass about rewrites, producers, the cutting room floor, or COVID. It exhausts me, and I’m not beholden to writing about spn for grades or notes or any kind of other bullshit that would oblige me to do research.

I feel like… we got what we got.

So let’s criticize some media.

The Paradox: 

Cas imploded— went from flexing the narrative from within to being narrated by a force from without. And I couldn’t bear to wrap my head around that for a long time. It seemed that this “twist” was beyond cruel. That’s what he got. Vanished and nerfed. For saying ily. That was what happened when he was finally in focus, fully revealed. He lost. He was relegated, along with Jack, to become heaven’s Two Men and a Truck.

It was a trick, the whole “Chuck is a writer” plotline. The Author regained control of the character that had previously been acting independently. Very Pirandellesque, very frustrating, ultimately even tragic.

So, yes, thematically and critically, having Castiel give up his Agency for Characterhood– giving up his ability to create plot for a role as a character in a plot— was ‘literary’ brilliance. It cemented his status as a grand fucker-upper of the show in a way that any show writer “authoring” a requited destiel ending would not and could not have done. Even Jack, I believe, had been “manipulated” into god-hood from within the narrative. Jack was Dabb’s grand metaphor, he was a product of Author. Castiel was… well, he was a chaos engine from the moment he walked through those barn doors. 

To seal the metaphor, the writers ended up living that truth.

I really don’t know if I’m being cogent about this. I’ve been struggling to turn this idea into words for, like, ONE THOUSAND DAYS.

The folk-vs-Author themes becoming A Thing in The Supernatural Show was like a chemical reaction: once the ions had bonded, the resultant compound could not be separated back into the different materials. What on that screen was Author, what was “author,” ie show writer, and what was text-experiencer-as-author? Where did the Sam-as-magician arc go, what were we supposed to do with the semi-metatextual moments that Mary had, having been brought back into the narrative by Amara, not Chuck? Everything got so out of control. Add in a smidgen of secret-sauce-TPTB possibly superseding the author/Author, and what you get is that ridiculous mess of a final two episodes.

It’s not about the rusty trombone or the butt hole pleasures. It’s about love. And kids.

Thank you, hon. It really is. (The above line was left in this doc by my spouse. It is a quote from The 40-Year-Old Virgin. I’ll allow it.)

Anyway. It was hard to see past the sound and the fury of it all. 

*****

I was feeling nostalgic several months ago and took a swim in my old meta tags; I found a gem from season…10? Idk and idc, but it was from “The Things We Left Behind.” 

I compared Claire to Sleeping Beauty (a tale that got a lot of use in later seasons) and wrote: “I tend to think that Castiel’s entire arc is about desperate and unintentionally misguided attempts to Change The Ending of whatever story he’s shown up in” and reading that again really kind of sucker-punched me.

‘We’re making it up as we go’ was the crux of Cas’ existence. Remember that half-related story in Baby wherein Cas got himself hitched to the Djinn queen? Remember when Jack died and the Empty came to claim him in Heaven and Cas made that terrible bargain? The last-minute attempt to gank Lucifer that actually got him killed and sent to The Empty?

Time and time again, Castiel’s go-to for “changing the narrative,” for advancing his plot, is self-sacrifice. In Chuck’s house against the archangel. The Leviathan disaster. Saying ‘yes’ to Lucifer. The Bargain for Jack in Heaven. And those times it worked out. Not without great pain for both the other characters and for the viewers, but he always came back. 

And with each return, his motivation became clearer. (Picture your favorite screencap of Dean here.)

Cas’ love grew, crystalized, and then disappeared, like frost on the windowpane of a house on fire.

If they had continued the CasDean storyline, it would have ultimately been The Author IRL writing/creating/manifesting/materializing ‘destiel.’ And so by putting a torch to all of that architecture, they essentially gave everything to us. Unspoilt. Fingerprints wiped. Serial numbers scratched away. Jailbroken. Whatever floats your boat. 

The confession was both affirmation and abnegation. Symbolically, The AuthorTM had washed his hands of it, but with destiel out of the picture, The Author also got his ending.

This is why “Cas helped” felt like a ‘fuck you.’ If Cas was out of the narrative, why did he come back as one of Heaven’s real estate developers? It did not fit. 

And yet. It did. Because Chuck won. Chuck, or everything that an Author represents in television land– TPTB, showrunner legacies, multiple producers, a chaotic and treacherous and politically messy writer’s room, multiple incompatible or unresolvable MOs and visions— all that ends up being packaged and presented as a single unerring vision.

So I have to admit, although I don’t have to do it with any ion of grace, that in the end it was pretty fucking smart.

Destiel is ours. Destiel is the folk ending. The Author never got to touch it, never so much as breathed on it, was so far divorced from the concept that the absence thereof going forward hit us like a truck full of bricks.

Yes, it hurts that Dean was just left on the floor until the credits rolled, that there were no final words, no ensuing acknowledgement. 

I’ll go so far outside the Text as to address the ‘Dean can’t reciprocate’ direction from one of the scripts:

If Dean had made a single move onscreen. Uttered a word. In Despair or either of the other two episodes.

Destiel would have been claimed by The Author. 

Anyway. I’ve been collecting posts now and again under the tag ‘the endless folklore of supernatural.’ For three years, the fandom has continued to loot, to ransack, to graffiti, to create and re-create, to burn, to mix, and to distill. 

There’s all kinds of things in that tag, it’s sort of a kitchen sink of everything that I thought was even tangentially relevant to folk-Destiel and the postmodern experience of creating text as a reader/viewer etc. 

We turned a literary story based on an urban folktale back into folklore. 

And so it goes.

I doubt I will do much more analysis of this show, even if it comes back, and I unfortunately can’t touch The Winchesters. But I can’t say I never will. I just thought three years, one thousand days, was a pretty good place to leave a marker on the trail.

—

Epilogue: About The Winchesters:

I did not finish watching The Winchesters because of something wildly, randomly, but highly personally triggering that was built into one of the episodes; however I am very sorry that it was canceled or possibly ironically lost to the WGA-SAGAFTRA strike of 2023.

“What is the maddest thing a man can do? Let himself die.” That’s the clue that leads Castiel to his hidden grace in a copy of The Man of LaMancha in 10.18 ‘The Book of the Damned,’ written by one Robbie Thompson.

I noticed from the get-go that Thompson gave Carlos the last name Cervantez. He was nodding to the self-immolation of the last cadre of writers of Supernatural and stating clearly that he was holding a pen, not a match.

Want some very fun and amusing and wildly pertinent facts about the Don Quixote books?

The narrative conceit of Don Quixote IN THE FIRST PLACE LOL is that Cervantes claims to have found a manuscript by a historian named Cide Hamete Benegeli and Cervantes thought the story was pretty neat, if a little rough; Cervantes retells the story for us from what he’d read by that author, distilling the “original” into the book we experience as Don Quixote the Man of La Mancha.

The final words of Cervantes’ Part One are “perhaps another will sing with a better pick.”

Later, someone publishing under the pseudonym Alonso Fernandez de Avellaneda wrote their own part two, feeling that the original author was taking too long to get their ass in gear (or judging by their own preface they felt that Cervantes had not even done the original story justice in the first place. Which is A Mood.)

So when someone actually did have the audacity to run off with his characters and commit word crimes with them, Cervantes absolutely obliterated the dude in his own Part Two. 

Thompson left Spn after season eleven. But, lest someone think this is a commentary about fan fic, he also wrote the episode Fan Fiction. So anyway all the Cervantez-Cervantes business was certainly something.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

What season of SPN makes you the most feral? What are your headcanons about it?

Hi Anon!

Sorry it took me so long to answer, usually I’m quicker with asks. First, I needed to think about my answer. Then, my internet went down (ugh). Now, I’m on a work trip.

I don’t tend to have a lot of headcanons for SPN, and the ones I have, I mostly think of in the moment as I’m watching or they are pretty common (for example, Ben is Dean’s kid).

Anyways, after thinking about it, I think the season(s) thst makes me the most feral is the Season 2 & 3 combo. I have to put them together because of the reversal of brother worry that flows so well: Dean worrying obsessively about Sam (and being alone) until the worst happens and Sam actually dies, so Dean sells his soul for Sam because he can’t bear to be without him, so Sam worries obsessively about Dean (and being alone) until he starts throwing some of his morals out the window (metaphorically selling his soul) to try and save him, but the worst happens and Dean dies. These seasons have so many brother feels, then being mistaken for a couple (which I always find amusing), and pain. It all hurts so good.

There are a couple of things that make me feel especially “feeral” in this era.

In “In My Tine of Dying” Sam can sense Dean’s soul (love this), they talk to each other using a “talking board,” and Sam tried so damn hard find a way to save (in a short window of time) Dean, and Dean (who worries that he needs Sam more than Sam needs him) never remembers how worried Sam was for him and how much he watered to save him. I hate that he doesn’t remember. As far as I can tell, when Tessa returns his memories of that time (in Season 4), she only returned the parts involving her, not the parts where Dean saw how much Sam loved him (This is up there with Sam and Dean not knowing the phone call was tampered with in Season 4, for me).

“What is and What Should Never Be” pretty much twists my heart from start to finish. Dean having everything “apple pie” he could want, but none of it being worth it if Sam doesn’t love him (beyond in the “he’s my brother so I have to love him” but NOT like him sort of way). The acting in this one is good too. We get a very different Sam, and Jared plays how different he is from normal Sam and how weirded out he is by Dean trying to show any affection towards him really well. We get to see Jensen play a cute and happy Dean, then we see his heart breaking when he realizes he can’t stop hunting if it means people will die, and I love/hate the more subtle heartbreak of him seeing Sam back away from him. I just … love this episode. (Also, … “What are you calling me bitch for?”).

Everything about Meg!Sam, and Dean saying he’d rather die than kill Sam. Pure gold.

“Mystery Spot,” the whole episode is just fantastic. A tiny hesdcanon I have for this episode is that there was at least a day where Sam tackled Dean to the bed (non-romantically) and just refused to let him up, clinging to him like a koala in desperation because Dean dies every time he leaves the room, or does basically anything. Dean struggles at first but then just lays there and takes it, maybe awkwardly patting Sam’s arm. He is both kinda weirded out, but also secretly happy with how much Sam obviously cares about him. But, of course, it being Mystery Spot, Sam probably accidentally kills him somewhere in there.

One last thing I think of often is, I wish I could see Sam succeeding and saving Dean in the Season 3 finale. It bothers me so much that he couldn’t do it after how hard he tried, and the lengths he was willing to go to, and it hurts seeing how much his “failure” and losing Dean tortured him. Dean ended up inflicting the exact pain on Sam that their Dad did on him by selling his soul for him and dying for him, except worse. Also, I actually like the Angel story line in Seasons 4 to 6, but I loath it after that, except for a few exceptions. So, if Sam had saved Dean, we might have been spared angel politics thst went on for too long, as well.

Anyway, I’ll stop it there because my answer is getting away from me.

Thank you for your question, Anon ❤️.

What season(s) make you feral?

#Ask Box #Sam and Dean #Seasons 2 & 3 #Supernatural #These seasons are so damn good!

[antigonewinchester]

Your choice of SPN character has been hit with a curse of Endless Chatter. Write one run-on sentence of dialogue for them (until your own stream-of-consciousness runs out!).

I never told you how I met Jess, did I, it was in my first IHUM class, Introduction to Humanities, and it's not actually that weird of a name, because everything got shortened like that, MemAud, FloMo, CoHo—anyway, it was my freshman year, first quarter, and we'd just watched Blade Runner, and yeah, we did get to watch movies for our coursework, it wasn't just books, or research papers, or—and the class was about death and mortality and meaning, and that's exactly what the movie is about, right—and this was when everyone still seemed like they knew more than me, I guess, all those kids who'd had SAT tutors and parents who worked at Google and stories about clubbing in Rome, and they just, they just knew how to talk, they all sounded so smart and I was sitting there with in my old holey Silverpark sweatshirt and I'd gotten a B- on my first paper and had absolutely no idea what I was going to write for my second one—and then Jess spoke up and said she hated Roy Batty's monologue, which got everyone really heated because, well, you know—but she stood her ground, said his death was beautiful but that wasn't what death was like, not really, and I kept thinking about the werewolf, the one you and Dad hadn't wanted me to see, the way it kept trying to crawl even after, until Dad finally—and nobody else was agreeing with her, and I could tell they all thought she was stupid, that she didn't know what she was talking about, so I said I thought she was right, and I don't remember the rest of the conversation but I do remember her grateful look, and when we talked afterward she said her dog had died suddenly over Thanksgiving break, she'd had him since she was four, and she'd been the only one there when it happened and she'd held him and tried to make him feel better but he'd looked so, so frightened, and maybe she was being stupid because he was just a dog, and I said no, it wasn't stupid, because I was thinking about its eyes, yellow and monstrous and scared, and then we got lunch and when I finally made her laugh it made me feel normal for the first time in a long time, and sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I hadn't tried to help, if I'd—because I can't forget, what she looked like—her eyes—and I saw your eyes too, right before—so I swear to God I'm gonna—screw whatever the doctors say—screw whatever Dad's not doing—I'm gonna save you, Dean, just like last time—and everything's gonna be okay.

#asks #sam #sam & dean #sam & jess #season 2 #thank you anon <3333 #and look who's finally writing from sam's pov; exploring some new horizons here

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e11 breakdown (w. davy perez)

kind of a trope at this point but the mismatch violence/action plus old time music that's happy or loveydovey, it's a good one. it's funny how the sort of watery reverb of an old song like this, maybe i associate with a particular atmosphere because of the trope, or someone out there just really hit on the right vibe but it can just inherently make something that bit spookier. and nodding to myself that indeed it's a christopher lennertz episode - look in my eyes by the chantels is a great pick. add to the list of things i'm gonna check on rewatch when they used licensed music i was meh about too :p least interesting topic of commentary ever.

the expanse (2015-2022) dominique tipper as naomi nagata / spn s13e11

truck stop woman who seems like she might have a part later's haircut is like naomi's in the expanse and i'm here for it

what's going on with sam not sleeping/wanting to get out of bed? i mean relatable, but get a book maybe. stressing over the nexus being closed and jack is over in spiky world with mom? trying to remember again what cas is doing and why they're not worried/talking about him.

ok see, this is what i'm talking about. some more modern sounding score that isn't melodic is really adds to the mood. it's a little bit true detective there, until the boys show up and it gets more melodic. i'm telling you this show could have had such a richer vibe with better music 😩

oh modern chevy impala, how far you've fallen. don't know exactly what model year that is, but early to mid 2000s. those circular tailights 😬 memorable, i guess

dry cleaning bags, hanging up jackets, what's next on the domestic logistics bingo card. also padalecki looks like he's gonna flex right through that shirt

SAM Do you really wanna get on the FBI’s radar again?

please don't. solid point

DEAN Okay, so what do you wanna do? Hmm? You wanna call up Donna and say “Hey, sorry about your niece. These kinds of things happen. Later.” And head back to the bunker so you can mope some more? SAM I’m not moping. DEAN You got up at 10:00 am this morning. 10:00 am. You, Mr. Rise and Freakin’ Shine. And then you turned down pancakes.

*takes notes* sam usually wouldn't turn down pancakes. ok ✅

SAM I wasn’t hungry. DEAN They’re pancakes. Look, I know you’re in a dark place right now, okay? I mean, we lost Jack. Mom is… I think about ‘em too. All the time. But you can’t let it eat you up. Now look, when I was—when I was broken up, you were there for me. Well, I’m here for you now. And I’m telling you, the only way out of this is through. Now when everything goes to hell, what do we do? We put our heads down and we do the work. We’ll find Jack. We’ll save Mom, we will. But right now, Donna needs our help. Okay?

listen, man. you know i'm here for this kind of conversation but like sam being mopey kind of came out of nowhere and feels just. well dean had a moment, so now sam's gonna have a moment. hokay

think he packed that vest? anticipated the need to be truckery?

creepy preacher guy kind of slots into the vaguely true detective serial killer vibe as well

i feel like i've seen this before lol. trying to pull up my mental bank of cannibal media. maybe thinking of the movie fresh combined with some law and order type show

um. turning doug into a vampire. sure.

CLEGG/THE BUTTERFLY And you’re Sam Winchester. You and your brother are famous. Hell, soon as I saw that fancy car, I knew who you were. And I knew you’d be trouble. Tried to give you that preacher, but you saw right through that. So now it’s on to Plan B.

i mean, seriously. that damned car is such a liability, it's dumb

SAM Why are you doing this? CLEGG/THE BUTTERFLY Well, ‘cause somebody has to. How many monsters do you think are out there, Sam? You know, if you – you had to guess. SAM Hundreds. Thousands. CLEGG/THE BUTTERFLY Add a zero. Actually, add two. See, those freaks that you and your brother chase, those are just the ones that can’t pass. Either because they’re too mean or they’re too stupid, or both. But most monsters… hell, they could be your next-door neighbor. They work a regular job, mow the lawns on a Saturday. And they need to eat, which is where I come in.

all righty. monster population that can subsist on human parts that have been detached from their human a while ago. and you know, gotta do some fun torture show on the side to sell the product -_-

can't argue with one of them coming to save the other from certain death

can kind of argue with donna getting dumped by doug over hunting. like, very reasonable reaction by a normal human on doug's part but also feels like they arbitrarily had their relationship set up so it could get smashed

SAM Let him go. Donna, when you choose this life, anyone who gets too close, eventually they get hurt. Or worse. So let him go. He’ll be safer that way.

okay, sam. sounds like the little speech dean gave in 13x03 to patience

DEAN I mean, we save people, Sam. SAM Yeah, we also get people killed, Dean. Kaia, for instance. She helped us and she died for it. DEAN Hey, look, I know you’re in some sort of a— SAM No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don’t – don’t… You keep saying I’m in a dark place, but I’m not, Dean. Everything I’m saying is the truth. It’s our lives. And I tried to pretend it didn’t have to be. I tried to pretend we could have Mom back and Cas and – and help Jack. But we can’t. This ends one way for us, Dean. It ends bloody. It ends bad.

bloody or sad, amirite. i have a tag for that

so like again relating to sam because sometimes when i'm being negative i do feel like i'm just being realistic. and he is, but usually he does have a well of optimism. hadn't i complained recently about feeling like sam's always being the reasonable and calm one? (not that i can find it) kind of feels like they needed to kick that out from under him. could have felt a little more organic with just... any amount of buildup beforehand.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 13x11 #spn bloody or sad #davy perez #spn clip #spn musical score #christopher lennertz

[adammilligan]

okay. i’ll put this under a readmore as to not subject you all to five absolutely incoherent paragraphs about some dipshit villain spn pulled out of their asses

am constantly thinking about apocalypse world and au!michael and au!lucifer. because that's a world where the main story ended at swan song except michael DID kill lucifer! and while i'm also constantly thinking about au!michael's line of "i killed my lucifer. tore him apart in the skies over abilene. but hey, can’t get enough of a good thing" it's also kind of important to remember that he. by this point. is absolutely batshit insane. gets a fucking high off of watching people die and laughs like a maniac when he kills gabriel and whatnot etc etc. and in this world where the story ended at swan song i think the exact same thing that happened in the main universe would've happened there. where au!lucifer would've told him that god was doing this TO them and begged him to walk off the chessboard with him and au!michael would've turned on him and called him a monster and told him that he was a good son and that he had his orders. and then he kills au!lucifer and then there's. nothing. no god. no paradise. no nothing.

and so au!michael is kind of left with the fact that not only was au!lucifer RIGHT, but that he just murdered the brother he raised from the moment he was created for nothing. absolutely nothing! and so since the majority of au!michael's anger was turned upon god instead of on au!lucifer, the latter of whom was the most important person in michael's life aside from god, then it kind of just turns into. yknow. au!michael DID remake himself in au!lucifer's image in the depths of the insanity that followed. and so au!lucifer's death became a good thing. a fun thing. i think au!michael's lack of anything to fall back on in the wake of lucifer's death (if au!raphael was like raphael in that he was tired and depressed and thought god was already dead, that's not exactly something to find a sense of stability in) plus the grief of god's betrayal plus the grief of what he did to au!lucifer literally did contribute to him BECOMING au!lucifer but worse.

and it would make sense is the thing! for au!michael to do that! because that's exactly what michael did! except with adam! michael kind of directly implied that he saw adam's word as second only to god's in 15x08, which would mean that the instant michael's faith in god was properly shattered adam's word would've taken the number one spot. regardless, michael and adam's time together no matter what happened DID somehow place adam as the most important person in michael's life aside from god. adam was his friend! and lucifer got knocked off that pedestal so adam could have that spot. the thing about this is is that. i mean. what were adam's penultimate words. they were "since when do we get what we deserve." adam isn't lucifer! he doesn't bite back! he doesn't have any sort of sadistic streak! adam's tired and sad and worn down and resigned to whatever happens. and then you look at michael in inherit the earth and what is he. he's tired and sad and worn down and resigned to his fate. and where au!michael went down swinging (like lucifer, like au!lucifer), michael literally did the opposite. he stood there and let himself be killed.

what i’m saying is that. out of the two michaels we were handed. one pretty explicitly and one based on context clues. both have a history of modelling themselves after the one most important to them after that one dies. and it’s kind of funny to me in a way that au!michael also admits that he tried to play god at one point because yeah he tried to model himself after HIM too but it didn’t work out and now he’s kind of still a more insane version of lucifer. which means that out of the two of them michael was the only one who lived up to his actual name (”quis ut deus?” which means “who is like god?” and it’s meant to be framed as a question with an answer already written: that no one is like god) but i digress. so the thought of au!michael and au!lucifer kind of drive me crazy because it means that au!michael would’ve called him a monster. realized that au!lucifer was right about everything. lost himself in the spiral of madness. and became that same monster. an even worse one, in fact. i think about it literally all the time it’s like yes dear god he still hates him he killed him once and he did worse to his alternate self but. i mean. that was HIS monster. HIS brother. HE raised him. it’s not like michael and lucifer where their relationship got worse and fell apart entirely until they no longer even seemed to care about each other by the end of it. i think that at least part of if not a lot of au!michael’s insanity is just his grief for au!lucifer and the fact that he killed him for nothing, for the father who never even cared, manifesting outwards until he can convince himself he hates him all over again while he kind of wears him like a second skin that doesn’t fit him quite right but melds just enough with au!michael’s own cruelty and anger until it doesn’t even matter.

because this isn’t the main universe! this is the fallout of a swan song that didn’t end with imprisonment! where there was no one to stop them! that ended the way it was technically supposed to end! with one brother killing the other! and the end result is the fallout of that. where au!michael really did kind of take the attributes of the one he loved most and incorporate them into himself out of grief. michael in the main universe IS capable of the same cruelty and we see that with the lance but he doesn’t share the sadistic streak as lucifer and au!michael do and au!lucifer would’ve. does ANY of this make sense.

#i think au!michael was fun. i think it was fun to see a michael that went off the deep end as a result of everything. i think it was fun to #see how in both universes michael did grow to reflect the attitudes of the ones he loved most who died. #could he have been WRITTEN better? yes definitely absolutely. au!michael got fucked and turned into a joke the second that white guy started #playing him even if some of his lines were still good. but seeing him in apocalypse world SEEING him as this insane genocidal warlord who #cares about nothing except destruction for his own pleasure. part of it is his own self. but i think part of it was what he took from #au!lucifer as well. from the one he raised. from the one he killed. you know? #anyway. this is way too fucking long for some dipshit villain this show pulled out of their ass. oops sdkjfsdnkjsfan #kate rambles #alternate michael #alternate lucifer #<-kind of

[crazylilad]

Red-Chapter 9

AN: Just an Fyi, this is a TWD fanfiction, meaning there are a lot of TWs, including loads of violence (of all kinds)

No smut!

Masterlist

Summary:

I ran through the woods, Matthew right behind me. 

My breaths came in harsh and my legs were screaming in protest. Just a bit farther. I promised myself. 

Matthew stumbled out of the underbrush and doubled over, his cheeks red and mouth open as he huffed for a breath. I moved his arm around my shoulder and kept going. 

I flinched as a bullet ricocheted off a tree to my left. It was too close. They were too close. 

But this was only the start 

Taglist

If you'd like to be tagged or removed, please let me know!

@d1am0ndw0lfxd @eatinpeachs @thefemininemystiquee @infectedbydaryl @ellablossom @azanoni @shadylilac @fuseburner @my-obsession-spn

Chapter 9

Rossary

I shook my head and turned back to the gathering group. Andrea was the circus animal now.

“Hershal, my God.” Andrea stared at the old man’s stump, shocked. She looked around. “I can’t believe this. Where’s Shane? And Lori?” 

Rick looked away. 

“She had a girl,” Herschel said, his voice grim. “Lori didn’t survive.”

Matthew’s brows pinched and I looked at him from across the room. I wonder if he thought the same thing; we were intruding on something private even if no one had told us to leave. 

“You all live here?” Andrea said, trying a different approach than the one she originally tried to take.

Glenn responded from next to me. “Here and the cell block.”

“Well can I go in?”  I glanced at Daryl who tensed up. Rick moved in front of the cell block door, making sure Andrea didn’t go in.

“I’m not an enemy Rick.” 

“We had that field until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up.” The cop said.

I listened intently to the new information as the group went back and forth, accusing one another of everything that had happened.

Andrea shook her head when she was accused of knowing about the governor's attack. “I didn’t know anything about that. I came as soon as I found out.” She turned toward the rest of us, her eyes widening as she saw Matthew and I. “I didn’t even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot out.”

Glenn shook his head. “That was days ago”

“I told you I came as soon as I could.” She fired back. Andrea turned around and stared at Michonne, who stood nonchalantly, her hand latched on a cell-like room. “What have you told them?” 

“Nothing.” Michonne quipped.

Andrea scoffed. “I don’t get it. I left Atlanta with you people and now I’m the odd man out?” She waved a hand toward Matthew and I. “I mean you knew these two for a few hours and suddenly are best friends?” 

No one had anything to say to that. She was right. They had known us for a few hours and were so willing to trust us.

“He almost killed Michonne and he would have killed us.” Glenn said. 

Andrea whirled to Merle. “With his finger on the trigger! Isn’t he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you?” 

I stepped up. “Get your boy on a leash before you try to put one on us. Like it or not, you’ve chosen a side.” I spat. Andrea looked at me, her mouth open like she couldn’t believe I was speaking up.

The group was quiet, taking in my words. 

I stormed outside, taking advantage of no one being around for a while. I closed my eyes and breathed, stilling my thoughts while the growling around me became white noise. 

I shouldn’t have spoken up. I should’ve just watched from the sidelines. That wasn’t my place to interfere. I watched the walkers, noting how they migrated with one another as I tried to lead my thoughts elsewhere.

After a while I was able to open my eyes and keep watch for a bit. When the group came out to say goodbye to Andrea, I stayed close to the gate, waiting to open it.

“We good Rosy?” Merle stood next to me, an Ak in his hand.  

I nodded. “We’re good.” I Didn’t blame him for The Governor's choices, or for being with him. We all did what we could to survive, especially when we became desperate. “If we’re gonna live under the same roof, we might as well clear the air.”

He smirked before helping me open the gate. 

AN

Super short chapter but the good stuff starts to happen next chapter (I think...)

#Daryl #twd fanfiction #twd #twd daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x oc #oc #rick grimes #thewalkingdead #amc #amcthewalkingdead #carl grimes #abraham ford #maggie greene #glenn rhee #maggie rhee #beth greene #the walking dead negan #the walking dead au #the walking dead #daryl fanfiction #daryl x original character #daryl

[mmtions]

ok, ok, ok, listen... what if buck just goes "imma be the best platonic husband my best friend could ever ask for because i want to give him all the things and also that way neither of us will be left alone ever again. feelings no what feelings pffft" only he goes about it in a really stealthy way because no way can they ever have a conversation about this, so over the course of like a month he very slowly and very intentionally moves in and takes on more and more spousal/parental duties and eddie doesn't realise until he's taking his dirty dinner plate, kissing him and going: "thanks for dinner, carino, it was delicious" what then.

Kristen Reidel, bestie, i thought we weren't sharing season 6a plans yet????

but yes in all seriousness i love you keep the ideas coming. i absolutely think buck no-homo's his way into a marriage. if i hadn't already written an spn version of this plot, i would write this for buddie. buck literally gets them both rings just because he thought he saw them in a jewellers and thought eddie would look nice with one and then obviously he needs to match his best bud. he helps to decorate eddie's room and gives himself a drawer, bedside table, and space for his protein powder in eddie's closet (that eddie hates that he keeps there.) he starts giving maddie relationship advice and "we've actually been really strict about christopher's screentime and he's such an avid reader - has jee-yun started reading yet? no? Christopher had started reading by her age i'm pretty sure" while maddie's wine glass is about to snap in her hand.

anyway exactly what you wrote happens but I will disagree a little bi because, very importantly, buck is actually not at all subtle but eddie is like 'oh my god he loves me so much he's not going to force me into a conversation about my feelings - we're all good. we're married. sorted.' and also 'buck is so considerate of not pushing me while i'm still working out my sexuality - i mean he could kiss me a bit. but maybe he's going through his own sexuality thing.' [also important: when he's having this internal monologue buck is furiously masturbating in the shower because he and eddie went to the farmers market that morning and eddie tried homemade jam by sucking it off his own fingers]. and eddie's like 'you know what im gonna be more affectionate he's such a good husband and gives him the kiss on a cheek.' leading to the carino moment.

#asks #911 #i don't know wht happens after the carino moment #depending on how much u want to write either buck just bursts into tears or tackles eddie onto the floor to kiss him furiously #OR buck is like 'ive manipulated him into falling in love with me' and eddie is like 'bro your lasagna isn't THAT good chill let me suck yo #u off'

[holylulusworld]

You never called

Title: You never called

Square Filled for @spndeanbingo​​: Wrong number

Summary: An unexpected encounter changes Dean’s life.

Ship: CEO!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Rating: Mature

Characters: Sam Winchester

Warnings: angst, language, unplanned pregnancy, pregnant reader, mentions of a one-night stand, mentions of smut, daddy!Dean, fluff

Word count: 2k+

2021 SPN Dean Bingo masterlist

Divider by @firefly-graphics

“Fuck what a lousy day,” you stop in the middle of the store to press one hand to your lower back. “Little bean, you could at least stop kicking. Fuck’s sake, it’s only seven months and I feel like a goddamn wale.”

As you slowly start to waddle back toward your shopping cart, someone tries to move past you only to bump into your side. The man dares to mutter under his breath, and you groan.

“What’s wrong with you?” growling like an angry mother bear you glare at the man who awkwardly looks at your baby bump. “Do you have no manners?”

“Sorry,” he mumbles now before he makes his way toward the next shelf.

“What’s wrong with people these days?” shaking the encounter off, you turn your shopping cart to walk away from the man. “Let’s have a look at our list,” you park your shopping cart to have a look at the vegetables. “Cucumber or zucchini, little bean?”

You sigh dreamily. “Both, baby bean. We will buy both,” you turn around a little too fast only to bump into a firm chest, face first. Cucumber and zucchini pressed to your chest you look up at the man belonging to the chest. “Fuck—sorry!”

The man chuckles, looking down at you still pressed to his chest. “’s okay, sweetheart. Doesn’t happen every day that a sweet girl attacks me with vegetables.” 

He smirks, hands gently wrapping around your upper arms to help you stand again. His smile fades when his eyes land on your swollen belly. “Sorry.”

"Do I know you?" the man frowns, eyes glued to your face now. He seems to be lost in thoughts and you take the opportunity to take a step away from him.

"Huh, no sorry," you stammer, heart hammering in your chest. "I wasn't looking where I was walking. Please excuse me, Dean. Have a great day and all."

Unbeknownst you just told Dean you do know him. He runs one hand down his face, wondering what just happened.

“Dude, you look like you saw a ghost,” Sam strolls toward your abandoned shopping cart, humming as Dean finally looks up at his brother. “Something wrong?”

"There was this sweet pregnant girl. She called me Dean and ran off, Sammy," Dean watches you walk away as fast as your feet carry you toward the exit of the store, dropping the vegetables on your way. "Do I know her?"

“How shall I know, Dean? If she’s pregnant, she must have a boyfriend or something,” Sam shrugs. “What?”

“Now that I think about it, she looked like the girl I spend a night with a few months ago. You know, the shy mouse I told you about. Damn, she made the cutest noises."

"Looks like you did more than give her orgasms," Sam muses, grinning. "Girl has a sweet secret."

"What do you mean?" Dean’s eyes land on the vegetables you dropped, and he asks himself if he got you pregnant. “This can’t be…!”

“Dean are you sure?” enjoying the struggle on his brother’s face Sam smirks. “I mean, you just said it yourself. You had sex with the girl. Now she’s having a baby. Count one and one…”

Dean looks at his hands, counting the months since he had his last one-night stand. “I—uh. You know… I had this important deal going on lately. It’s been months since I had the time to have some action.”

“It’s called a dry spell, Dean.”

“Bitch! Stop making me a daddy or crap.”

“Jerk! And I think someone else will make you a daddy,” oh, Sam enjoys teasing his brother. He just loves it. “You better find the girl and ask her about the baby.”

“Let’s have a look at the fridge, baby bean. What do we have here?” you sigh, looking into your fridge. “Your aunt will come around tomorrow to bring us more groceries.”

Your stomach rumbles and you decide to not cook tonight. “How about pizza, baby boy? I bet you want some fatty pizza and chocolate for dessert.”

It’s half an hour later that your doorbell rings. You are done waiting for the food so you walk as fast as you can toward the door, money already in your hands.

“Coming. I hope you got all my stuff.”

You open the door, moaning as the scent of pizza, French fries and pie hits your nose. “That smells so good. You’ll get a huge tip!”

“I hope so, sweetheart,” the man holding your food pants. “I carried the shit upstairs,” just now you meet familiar green eyes, gasping audibly. “Did you know the elevator is broken? How can they force a pregnant girl to walk all the stairs?”

“You?” swallowing a few times to fight your dry throat you look Dean up and down. “What are you doing here? And why do you have my food?”

“Uh-I remembered your name, and the guy wanted to deliver the food,” he enters your apartment without asking, already looking around your home. “I paid and walked all the stairs. Where can I sit?”

“Why are you here?” closing the door you sigh deeply. All you wanted was to eat greasy food and sleep early. “How’d you find me?”

“Don’t you remember? I drove you home,” he sheepishly glances at your belly, following your hand when you subconsciously run it over your baby bump. “I tried to call, but it said no service or crap.”

“Sure,” arguing with Dean is the last thing want to do. “I’m hungry and tired. Can you just leave and forget we ever met? You are good at forgetting about me after all.”

“I tried to call months ago,” Dean places the food onto the table. He sighs, watching you slowly waddle toward your couch. “I swear, I called a few days later. Your number has been changed or was temporarily out of service. I thought you gave me the wrong number.”

“Seriously? Do you try to pretend I gave you the wrong number, Dean? Just admit it was a one-night stand. We had fun and you didn’t want to see me again,” he huffs as you sit on the couch. “Now lemme eat.”

“How far are you?” he sits next to you to open the pizza box for you. “Y/N?”

“Twenty-five weeks,” you grab a slice of pizza to greedily stuff it into your mouth. “Around seven months. You know, weeks of pregnancy don't fit neatly into months.”

“Seven months,” Dean swallows thickly. “So-uh,” he hesitates, eyes glued to your belly, “is it mine?”

“You don’t need to feel responsibility, Dean. I decided to keep the baby after I found out our night together will last a little longer.”

“If only I knew! Why didn’t you tell me?” he dares to be angry at you. “I’m going to be a daddy soon. Fuck. What do I do now?”

“How, asshat? You never gave me your number. We fucked at your place, and I forgot your address,” you growl before you grab another slice of pizza. “How could I have told you about my pregnancy? You never called!”

“You gave me the wrong number!” Dean argues. “I called.” He glances at the food, licking his lips. “Give me some of the pizza and we can talk about the baby.”

“Dean, there is nothing to talk about. I’m going to be a single parent and you can look for the next one-night stand. No strings attached. You are off the hook,” he frowns huffs, and stuffs a slice of pizza into his mouth. Chewing slowly. 

“No,” chew. “I will not back down,” chew. He almost chokes on the pizza. “I’m going to be a good father. You’ll not raise the baby alone.” Dean says, looking at your baby bump. “This is my son or daughter.”

“Son,” you point out. 

“A son. Good, that’s good…” he moves a little closer. “Can I—uh, touch your bump? Can I feel my son kick?”

“He’s lively right now. Little bean likes pizza and French fries,” you smile as your son kicks you once again. “Clean your hands first, though.” you insist.

“Okay, yes. Where’s the bathroom?”

“Second door to the left,” you explain. “Dean, you don’t have to pretend. It’s my baby and my life. You don’t have to take care of me or my son.”

“Our son,” he corrects while getting up from your couch. “This is my child and I want to take care of them. I’m going to be a daddy.” Dean smiles fondly. “Do you already have a name?”

“Not yet,” biting your lower lip you watch Dean walk out of the living room. “I still got time left.”

“We will find the perfect name, sweetheart…”

“Your apartment,” he mutters, looking around the living room, “no good for the baby. I know it’s your home, but—”

“I like my apartment! Stop looking at my place like it’s a death trap!”

“It is a death trap! The elevator doesn’t work. Your window in the bathroom has cracks. Your living room and bedroom are small. There is no nursery, sweetheart. And we don’t want to talk about your kitchen,” you huff.

“Did you sneak around my apartment pretending to wash your hands?” you cock your head to watch Dean sit next to you. “Dean?!”

“I had a quick look around your apartment and decided to bring you to my home. We can use the spare bedroom and turn it into a nursery. You can have the other spare room. It has a bathroom and all you will need.”

“Dean, we don’t even know each other,” you argue. “We had a one-night stand! No guy wants the girl he fucked once to move in with him!”

“I liked you, okay,” he exhales deeply. “I didn’t call a few days later, Y/N. I tried to call you the next morning, and the morning after…and many other days. But the number didn’t work. I even tried to come here but didn’t want to look like a creep. I gave up, believing you didn’t want to see me again.”

“I-I would have taken your call,“ dropping your gaze you try to find the words expressing your feelings. “I liked you too. Not only the sex.”

“Awesome,” he claps his hands. “It’s settled then. We will bring you away from this death trap and prepare a nursery.”

“Dean,” you run one hand down your face, “we should get to know each other better before you start planning a wedding or crap. Let’s meet for lunch tomorrow.”

“Lunch,” nodding Dean opens his phone. “Sounds good to me. When can I pick you up?”

A few weeks later, …

“Living room, game room, my office,” Dean guides you through his loft, “kitchen is down the hall. Upstairs are my bedroom, two bathrooms, and the guest rooms and more. We got 2,300 square feet of space across three floors. And don’t worry, I got a tube elevator leading to the upper floors. No problem for a pregnant lady.”

“That’s—” speechless you look around the spacious place, “too much. I-how did you live here all alone? Do you have pets? Like twenty cats.”

“It was an investment,” he shrugs. “I wanted to sell it one day but, kinda fell in love with the loft. Now it’s perfect for us.”

“Dean…”

“Look,” sensing your hesitation Dean cups your cheek, “I know we only spend one night together, but I liked you. I wanted to go out with you again. We are just doing all the relationship stuff in reverse,” he grins now, a little too cocky, “I got you pregnant first. Now we can take all the time to get to know each other and do the things couples do.”

“You won’t give in, right?” he shakes his head, making you sigh. “What if this doesn’t work out? What then?”

“We can be roommates and friends, sweetheart,” cupping your face Dean presses a soft kiss to your lips. “I prefer having you as my girlfriend, but we can go slow.”

“We could go on a date, I guess…” Dean nods, smiling softly.

In the coming months, he’ll do anything to show you he wants to become a good father and partner. 

You don’t know what the future holds but when you welcome Robert Maximilian Winchester to the world, you know Dean will always be by your side…

Tags in reblog.

#spndeanbingo #dean winchester #ceo!dean Winchester #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester SPN #Daddy!Dean #request fill #you never called

[quillquiver]

On SPN, Burying Your Gays, and Being Heard

I am shaking, I feel sick, I feel like I’m insane. And did I run a little wild with the theories? You bet. But you know what didn’t help? The botched clusterfuck that was this entire goddamn finale debacle. How was I supposed to believe anything they said in panels when M&G dialogue would leak saying the exact opposite? How was I supposed to grieve and move on when there was nothing from the cast and crew? Nobody said anything! And any info leaked just destabilized what we already knew or directly contradicted what we’d been told. In light of that, how was I supposed to trust anything anyone said? One rogue translator reciprocated the love confession and I was practically sold, because there were so many questions surrounding the English text that this was something good, something that logically fit, and something I wanted to hold onto. 

Because they hurt me. This is about so much more than one episode or a ship; for years queer fans have seen ourselves in these characters and been told that we were crazy. That we were reading too much into it. I’m not sure how people get upset and offended when a storyline that doesn’t exist... doesn’t exist! said Guy Bee (2013). And then, after all of that, they turned around and said magnanimously, you have your version, I have mine... and that’s okay. But it’s not okay. It’s not okay, because that doesn’t erase what came before - that doesn’t erase the baiting and the gaslighting, and that invalidates everything we felt in the time leading up to that episode. It gave them an open window for all the subtext that came after. It allowed them to brush us off.

And then we got Cas’s love confession. I watched that scene about 500 times. Added to the rest of the season - to the fandom avatar being presented as successful and intelligent, to arc being the death of the author - I felt seen. Really seen, by a show that made it its mission to erase me. I had been okay with Cas dying at first because I had been sure the romance arc would carry through. I had been convinced that after everything, there was no way they would give that to us and then take it away.

But they did, because this is Supernatural. To anyone saying this is not bury your gays, I implore you to read up on the Hays Code. This link is to an amazing queer history podcast and the episode that covers it. In short, the Hays Code was a legal document that came about in 20th Century Hollywood during the puritanical war on the American entertainment industry,  and it stipulated what was not allowed on screen. Not all of it was queer - there’s a whole section about kissing - but what the Code is most remembered for is that queerness was not allowed on screen. But queer people are resilient, and so they started testing the waters... and it turned out that you could in fact code queerness into a narrative, as long as it was subtextual, or as long as the queer character died/was punished, or both. The point is that the character is not allowed to live their truth openly. They are buried, either in the ground or punished in the narrative. The former is normally what we refer to these days, because the latter just doesn’t really happen anymore.

Until Supernatural. 

Castiel is immediately punished for speaking his truth - and please don’t tell me he leveraged that punishment and so he had agency. Literally the only thing that could make him happy was confessing his feelings, and so the Empty deal was directly related to this idea of queerness-as-punishment. That being said, Bobo wrote a beautiful scene. Cas’s confession was a love letter to queerness and coming out... but everything that came after buried him. Castiel may have ended the series alive but he was effectively written out of the last two episodes, and that means that he actually never really got to live his truth. He was silenced by the narrative - that is punishment. 

Dean is a whole other can of worms. Does one rogue translator confirm canon bi!Dean? Or do we have to read our own version of the text? The fact that we even have to ask these questions firmly places us in the realm of queerbaiting. Were the writers trying to get bi!Dean approved but were unable to? I have no idea, but queerbaiting requires proof that the writers encouraged a reading they had no intent of following through on, and we certainly don’t lack in evidence of that. Not from this writers room, but from those of previous eras. Did these writers try? They might have, but the funny thing about queerbaiting discourse is that there has never been a show to bait this long, and I’m making the call that even if you tried at the end, you baited me with half the ship and all the years that came before. 

Of course, the narrative leaves open the possibility of bi!Dean so if you do read the show that way, that means Dean also falls into the bury your gays category; if you read the show this way - which many of us do - the mere suggestion that Dean Winchester was bisexual was enough to punish him. And he was punished. We’ve all written extensively on this, but he was given a random death, on a case his father never finished. All that growth, all that time spent having him accept himself, love himself, that was all taken away. He died the way he always thought he would: as a tool, in service of his father, protecting his brother. He had always believed he’d been a body to throw on the sword and in the end that’s all he was. And when he gets to Heaven? He’s also silenced. He barely speaks in the episode except to monologue during his death, and that is 100% Sam-centric. He is scared. 

It was horrific to watch. I sobbed so hard my roommate was seriously concerned. 

I had been fully prepared for Supernatural to end disappointingly. I had figured everything would end with a huge heaven reunion because white, straight, cis-male S&F writers love the idea of death as a reward, but instead of being disappointed I felt like I had witnessed a slaughter. Every single one of the queer themes intrinsic to the show: found family, resilience, speaking your truth... were gone. And I know we’ve talked about this too, but it bears repeating, because in doing this, in writing the queerness out of its narrative, Supernatural effectively looked every one of us queer folx in the eye and said: you are not important. You don’t matter. All of that stuff that came before is all good and well, but what really matters at the end of all things is blood family. It’s two brothers in a car. Life sucks but at least we get to die and go to paradise - real paradise, that your angel buddy died for and then made for you and who we never hear from again.

I felt insane. I felt cheated. I felt humiliated. I felt devastated. I still feel all those things, but listen to me. You have been heard. Not by Misha Collins, who is a great guy, but doesn’t get it. Not by Jensen Ackles, who is a similarly great guy, but also just doesn’t understand. And not by anyone else who worked on this show. 

You know who heard you? Me. The people who follow me. The people who follow you. We saw each other, and heard each other, and we gave each other a leg up. We made memes. We wrote fic. We drew fanart. We made gifs. All for ourselves and all for each other. We broke Tumblr multiple times. We donated over $60,000 USD to multiple different causes. We got multiple hashtags trending at multiple different points, and today kept it up because we demanded answers and then we got them. There were at least 5 articles written about the show today. We made that happen. We made people listen. 

Supernatural didn’t deserve me, and it didn’t deserve you. It didn’t deserve Dean. It didn’t deserve Cas. It didn’t deserve Misha and Jensen. But this show ended with a bleak, awful message and we turned around and showed them that love is loud. So what about all of this is real?

We are.

#alex talks #spngate #archived #this was very therapeutic #and i honestly don't know if i will ever be able to love something like this again #because i have been burned oh man #but this fandom is amazing #and i am proud to be a part of it #and i am not going anywhere #journaling #15x18 #15x19 #15x20 #castiel #dean winchester #destiel

[one-more-offbeat-anthem]

If the inspiration takes you, would you be able to write a lil something about a misunderstanding and miscommunication? Light angst ficlet with a happy ending? I love your fics, thank you for sharing your talent with us and choosing this fandom!

okay I had to think about this one for a second, because as y'all know I don't normally write angst, but here we are! also thank you for your kind words ;-; although I'm not really sure I chose spn I think I just got sucked into the vortex and here we are.

I hope you enjoy this ficlet! (also imagine this is a fake season 9. where dean doesn't kick cas from the bunker and they go on hunts <3) (also this got way out of hand I'm so sorry)

*********

It was supposed to be a milk run.

Of course, half the time that they get a case that's "supposed to be a milk run," it ends with one of them almost dying, just for the hell of it, and today's no exception.

Sam's off on a different hunt in Colorado, so it's just Dean and Cas, which is no problem. Dean trusts Cas to watch his six, to watch everything.

Or, at least, it isn't a problem until their "milk run" turns into a really pissed-off poltergeist (to be fair, Dean'd be pretty pissed if someone was shooting at him), and then Dean gets hurled halfway back to Kansas, it feels like, and by the time he comes to with a pounding in his head and a searing pain in his shoulder, said poltergeist is gone and Cas is standing over him with a big, bleeding gash across his face.

Every time Cas gets hurt these days, it's like a fucking train wreck. He tries to heal himself, and then he can't, and he gets all moody and sullen, which, like, Dean can understand, but it doesn't make it any easier, and to make matters worse today Cas tried to heal Dean, and now they're sitting in the Impala in complete silence while Dean drives, trying to ignore his aching right shoulder.

"Where're we going?" Cas finally asks, picking at his sweater's sleeves. Dean's already mentally going over what might be best to get the blood out of it--lemon juice? Vinegar? He read in a magazine that hairspray is good for stains, oddly enough, but of course he doesn't own any--

"The hospital," Dean answers.

"So you can dump me there?"

"So I can--what?!" Dean takes his eyes off the road for a second to look at Cas, staring out the windshield. He's got one hand messing with his sweater and the other holding Dean's flannel over his still-bleeding face. "We're going 'cause if I try to stitch up that cut, I'm gonna end up stabbing you in the eye."

"You have very steady hands."

"Not when I'm worried. Let's go back to the dumping thing." Dean glances at Cas again. "Why would I leave you in a hospital?"

Cas shrugs. "I'm not useful anymore. Without my grace."

"That's a crock of shit, and you know it."

"Do I?"

Dean lets out a sigh and pulls the car over, trucks honking behind him. He doesn't think Cas is going to bleed out, and if this flannel gets soaked, there's another in the trunk.

"Look." Dean turns his body to completely face Cas, which crunches his legs, but this is important. "I know I'm shit with words, but you gotta hear me. First of all, I've been hunting since I was a kid, without an angel, and I'm still alive."

"Actually, you died and I--"

"Shut up. Second of all, I know in your head you're an angel first, but in my head, you're Cas first. You don't stop being Cas just because Metatron took your grace."

Cas doesn't respond, and it's actually kinda hard to tell what he's thinking when half of his face is covered in a bloody flannel, so Dean reaches out a hand to tug on Cas's wrist and pull the fabric off.

Okay, that's a lot of blood.

"You get me?" Dean asks, and Cas nods. Dean slides back to his seat and starts the car.

"What'd you mean about being worried?" Cas finally asks.

"What?" Dean turns to see if there are any cars coming and then pulls back onto the highway.

"You said you didn't have steady hands when you're worried."

"Put the flannel back on," Dean says. "I'm worried about you, dumbass."

"Because I'm--"

"Yes, because you're bleeding out of your face!" Dean curses and pulls over again. "For the love of god, Cas. What am I gonna have to do to convince you that I care about you?"

Before Dean even asks the question, though, he knows the answer. He's known the answer for a while, since last year in purgatory. Since he prayed to Cas for year, killed monsters to find him. Since Cas didn't make it out and Dean saw his face everywhere. Since Cas appeared behind him in a random motel, covered in dirt and grime.

Since he found Cas lying dead in an armchair, shirt ripped and stomach sliced open, since he lied to April to bring Cas back.

When humans want something really bad, we lie.

Well, Dean's gonna be truthful for a second. He's tried to say it before, in different words, words like that's the hardest I've laughed in a long time or I'd rather have you, cursed or not or nobody gets left behind or I need you.

He might as well say it straight.

"We're never going to get to the hospital if you keep doing this," Cas points out helpfully, and Dean just about rolls his eyes.

"Well then shut up and listen. I like myself, and the world, a whole lot better when you're around. And I like you."

"You like me."

"I love you."

Okay, he didn't mean to say that.

Yet.

Cas's reaction happens slowly and then all at once. One second, he's staring at Dean, almost blankly (although it's hard to read his expression because, once again, flannel on his face), and then the next second he's dropped the fabric and is kissing Dean.

It's actually kinda gross, because of all the blood, but Dean's mind has also stopped working so he doesn't notice that much. There's been dozens of times over the years that he's wanted to do this, more than he can count, and the shock doesn't recede until Cas is pulling away.

"My head hurts," Cas finally says.

"Okay, we're going." Dean pulls back onto the highway for real this time, although he takes one hand off the wheel and finds Cas's free hand on the seat.

(Their second kiss, after Cas has gotten stitches and one of the other nurses at the emergency room helpfully relocates Dean's shoulder, is a lot less bloody.

The rest all run together.)

#anon ask <3 #nice people!!! #offbeatwrites #this got out of hand so fast and went in like ten different directions #whoops #long post #:D #I hope this is what you wanted anon? probably is not I am so sorry

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

My Thoughts on Supernatural, Season 11

This post was inspired by a post I saw from @seasononesam , found here

I actually consider this season to be one of my favorites of the late seasons but, like so often happens with this weirdo show, it’s not because of the season plot. Rather, I love how hard this season goes on the Sam and Dean of it all, especially after the last 2-3 years of angst. And I like a lot of the MOTW episodes.

Please feel free to comment reblog with your takes on these episodes (if you actually see this post somehow), or on other ones you like or dislike.

Please find my episode breakdown under the cut (I don’t want to clutter up anyone’s timeline with a long post).

Episodes I Pretty Much Love:

Baby

- Give me all the brother talks, "Night Moves", and quiet bonding

- Sam re-loses his virginity, and Dean is weirdly proud of his brother for hooking up. As usual.

- The Sam and Not-John vision is interesting and surprised me.

- I’ve heard the story way too many times, but Dean doing the reverse 180 is pretty hot.

- Interesting concept

Just my imagination

- At first I didn’t like this one because it felt too "kiddy."

- I love Sully, I love Sully and Sam, and I love Jared's acting in his talk with Sully near the end, and I didn’t expect it in this silly episode.

- The silliness has grown on me, and Dean's reactions to the Zana (don’t know how to spell it and don’t want to look it up) is pretty amusing.

Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

- I love all the Sam stuff

- Crowley and Rowena and their dysfunction is mostly amusing in this one.

- Sam's devastation when he finds out it wasn’t God who was speaking to him is heartbreaking.

- But, shut up Amara and Angels!

The Devil in the Details

- Sam and Lucifer walking down Sam's memory lane is interesting. Colin Ford!

- Jared's portrayal of a terrified but brave Sam is *chef's kiss*

- Dean's indignant "Have you met me?" is very on point and makes me smile every time.

- Sam trusting in Dean to save him is very little brother energy, and protective Dean is always good.

- But, Cass, you’re an idiot, and you crapped on Sam's willingness to die rather than let the devil out of the cage

Safe House

- Bobby and Rufus in the past cut together with Sam and Dean now is really enjoyable for me. I like the transitions.

- Dean and Bobby seeing each other in the nest is cool and sad since Bobby is long dead in the current timeline.

- Bobby seeing Sam and Dean in the nest (parts of your soul or people you love) since he sees them as his boys is nice.

- Dean seeing only Sam in the nest is so accurate for him. We know Sam is a piece of his soul, but this could also be seen as seeing his son (like Bobby), or like seeing his partner (like the woman who saw her husband). It’s a rich tapestry :)

- Sorry but I have to … who did he not see …? For the hellers in the back …

Red Meat

- Everything!

- Hurt Sam. BAMF Sam. Protective Dean. Romeo Dean.

- Sam is the man (or person) Dean loves. This episode could be in Season 2, and I mean that in a good way. Though I have to admit the werewolf guy is a bit over the top at the for for me.

Don’t Call Me Shurley

- While I don’t love what happens with Chuck down the road, I did find this episode moving. Chuck at the end healing and helping people actually choked me up on the first watch.

- This is the only time Metatron doesn’t completely suck, so far

- Sam and Dean in the fog always gets me, especially how Dean has not learned his lesson of letting Sam go, and tries to breath in the fog to join him in getting infected.

- The Samulet - it being in Sam's pocket tells me that Sam has carried it with him since "Dark Side of the Moon" - fight me!

Honorable Mentions:

Form and Void

- Pro: BAMF and Smart Sam, again

- Con: shut up Baby Amara!

Thin Lizzie

- Pro: gives me slightly older-school SPN vibes; just working a case

- Cons: shut up Tween Amara with your weird crush on Dean!

Into the Mystic

- Pros: The talk between the brothers near the end of the episode is nice, where Sam apologizes for not continuing to look for him, and Dean is gracious about it. I also like how the episode is bookended with Sam not able to sleep at the beginning and Dean not able to sleep at the end. Also, I kinda like the old lady, I generally like Eileen (just not in a ship with Sam), and this is one of the few times I don’t mind Misha as Cassifer

- Cons: the banshee looks weird, and does a little too anticlimactically for me (though I gues that kinda the point).

Don’t You Forget About Me

- Pro: I generally like Alex, and I don’t mind Claire in this one, and I’m actually interested in the Jody and co. dynamics which isn’t always the case. The sex talk at the table is funny.

- Con: Nothing really stand out as a con in this one for me, other than I never exactly need a Claire episode.

Beyond the Mat

- Pro: Sam and Dean having fun together and watching the wrestling, and Dean making an ass of himself getting into the ring are fun.

- Cons: I don’t really like the actual case and find it a tad boring.

Alpha and Omega

- Pro: Sam and Dean hug with "no chick flick" callback, and Dean saves the day because of how much he and Sam love each other. It saves the world this time.

- Cons: BMOL plot crap watering down the episode, Chuck and Amara is kind of a weak ending since the drama is boiled down to a silly sibling issue and could have been avoided easily.

The rest of the episodes, unless I’m forgetting one, are either just "meh" to me, or I actively dislike them. Especially any other episodes with a big Amara focus generally are not for me.

The Bad Seed

- Shut. Up. Little Amara! I find her deeply irritating.

Plush

- pretty much only thing I find amusing and not bad-weird in this episode is Sam and Dean joking about the jail bunny, but refusing to laugh at each other’s jokes.

Love Hurts

- in past episodes I feel like this would have been done better. It feels like a lake echo of episodes we’ve had before, and I just don’t enjoy it.

- Small pro: Dean finally tells Sam the truth about his weird Amara connection, and Sam is super chill about it even though he’s worried. Honesty, friends.

Hell's Angel

- Shut up Cassifer!

Alpha and Omega

- yeah I mentioned this before, but I need to double down on the BMOL eating up screen time and the easy Chuck and Amara solution.

#Supernatural #My Thoughts #Season 11 #Rewatching S&D #posed inspired by another post #SPN meta?

[wigglebox]

If you don’t mind me asking, what didn’t you like about the leaked script and why are you so convinced it’s not real? Especially with filming locations, casting, etc matching up with it pretty perfectly so far. No hate, I swear. I’m just genuinely curious. I read it and loved it, although I do hate that it was leaked in the first place.

hello! sorry for the delay! wasn't gonna answer this bc i've ignored the other asks in the last couple of months but i realized that i never really, i think, explained why i hated this leak so this is going to be my one and done.

the tl'dr is if you consider yourself a fan of SPN, jackles, dee, robbie, whoever is involved, you would forget that script leak ever happened, forget that "script" exists, and just wait until we see shit on our TV. don't give energy to people who think they have some kind of right to share things that aren't theirs and getting attention off of it.

this isn't the leaker's baby. this is jackles, robbie, and dee's baby and when the time comes to see what they've done, THAT'S when we can appreciate it.

elevated sodium levels under the cut

first and foremost, talking about this leak, acting like it's real, acknowledging it, and spreading it around — to me — means you're not really a fan of jackles, dee, robbie, etc etc.

they had a bad leak last summer and it caused a lot of stress.

why would a pilot script leak be any less damaging? Truly? It frustrates me that so called fans of theirs would take a script like this, and be it real or not, wave it around claiming it is.

why would you want to risk something like that? why would you spread this around? why would you give it to anyone? why? like again, in my eyes, you're just not a fan and don't actually support them, you're just looking for clout

*i'm using the royal You/Your btw because idk where this thing got started and i don't care to find out.

But whoever started it, to me, they aren't fans, they don't care about this show, they don't care about the people involved. They're selfish. Plain and simple.

As for the script itself.

I didn't see the whole thing, but from what I read off of like, 4 pages [because I too am not perfect and was curious when i saw it briefly on Twitter]

1) It doesn't read like Robbie at all. I don't mind the details included in it, but the actual writing itself is bad. Like from just a technical, standard screenwriting perspective it's bad. It reads like someone took fanfiction and adapted it to a screenplay with no care in the world.

There are actual Robbie scripts on the superwiki you can read. It reads nothing like this. And yes there is some time between those scripts and this, but usually you improve as a writer. I have read an old Jerhico script from him and it was average, and his SPN scripts were fantastic and he really found his style of writing and voice.

This "leaked script" doesn't read like it. It doesn't even read like the person who wrote it even tRIED to imitate him. And maybe it's a draft — who knows — but all I know is it read more as a scratch board for ideas rather than a normal, Robbie Thompson script. He's better than that.

2) It's too long. Things get edited down, yes, which is why obviously... idk I read somewhere it was a network draft? Lord I hope not. That should be the first draft. Like THEE first draft that you dump all your ideas into and flesh out. But regardless, things are going to get cut from it. Someone told me how many pages it was. It's way too long.

3) I HATE i despise this post-finale attitude of information gathering. Secrets this, connections that, carrot dangling, blahblahblah. And this script only adds to that.

Getting SPN scripts isn't out of the realm of logic, again the Superwiki has a bunch. But those episodes aired. We know what aired vs what we got in the yellow pages, green pages, final draft, production draft, etc etc. Those were sought out, bought, awarded in charity auctions and donated.

getting script leaks for a show that hadn't even started filming its pilot yet, and not even made to series order yet, and peddling it around like it's something good? No. That's bad.

All it does is fuel whoever started this to keep doing that bullshit.

Also, personally, i'm annoyed because people do keep talking about it like it's real. But no one can possibly know that unless Robbie or Jackles or Dee came out themselves and said that.

And I just get really frustrated people talking about this show already and acting like this script is real because you should NEVER ever ever read a script and assume that's how you're gonna see it on TV before said episode airs. if this was actually a network draft, it's so far away from what we're going to get on-screen word for word, shot for shot because it is too long! [again, that's an estimation, I was only told how long this thing was when I asked]

So I don't like this leap folks are already taking like 'oh they cast this person as this character so the script must be real!'

like no.

always always wait for it to air, and then find the scripts.

and for the love of god, stop trying to information hunt at the detriment of peoples' ACTUAL hard work.

it's rude, it's selfish, and it leads to bad attitudes across the board.

this isn't the script leaker's story.

this isn't theirs.

this is jackles and robbie and dee's story. this is THEIR hard work. it shouldn't be leaked (again!) because someone felt entitled to do so like last summer.

it's not the leaker's work. they're just being dicks and want attention and I don't feel like as a fandom we should give it to them.

spoilers used to be fun, like, oh a set picture from a set stalker! oh clues in interviews, ohblahblahblah. now it feels like a competition and did since the end of season 15. and that's just bad. and leads to more pushes for more information before things air or happen, and that's when things turn sour REAL fast.

so yeah. I'm sorry I'm talking in a circle now.

but basically yeah, like my tldr: I don't like the pilot script leak thing because there's no way to actually confirm everything in it is real until the pilot airs. it's not the leaker's hard work and efforts; they contributed nothing to this.

it's just selfish.

and I find it very sad.

[nonny none of this was directed at you, this is just a general rant]

#stupid prequel bullshit script leak of 2022 #but seriously no more okay i had like three other asks the other day I deleted as well #this is a one and done answer #salt

[mlobsters]

supernatural s10e15 the things they carried (w. jenny klein)

DEAN Porn? SAM What? No. l-it's nothing. DEAN Hey, look, no judgement from me. Just, you know, not where we eat. SAM Dude, it wasn't porn. DEAN Okay, "erotica." Whatever. Zip it up.

ha ha. jared what are they doing to your hair. smooth and bouncy

DEAN Sam! I know what you're doing over there, and it ain't porn. Look, man, we have checked every website, okay? We've checked it twice. Sammy, when we work a case, there's always that point when we have to face the truth, right? Even if we don't like it. Well, truth is, there's no way around this. We saw what happened to Cain, okay? I'm not happy about it. But l got to move on. So l'm gonna keep doing what we do while l still can. And l'd like you to be there with me.

it's like a calm and reasonable version of dean's looming deal, and this time he can tell sam he wants him present while he has him. is this growth?

continuing on their trend of cutest babies. what a sweetheart. my eyes glaze over and i get the grabby hands. i would like to hold the baby

appreciate they're trying to acknowledge the mental health and suicide struggles with veterans within the context of their monster hunting story.

BETH My Rick, when he's home and good, I have to kill the spiders, you know? Rick was a kind soul. He never took more life than he had to.

oh no more paralleling to our hero's plight

cole is back, huh. ok? did they pick this story so they could bring him back?

let's just watch this top secret video of the military shooting people, on speaker, at this cafe. sure

random action shot of baby on this cool bridge as they're just... driving to the scene of a crime

okay well. this killer wormy thing reminds me of the xfiles ice episode crossed with wrath of khan ear worm bug thing. and we had that spn one with the black ear goo, eve's... somethings? oof. s6e16 apparently. (rip rufus)

did he say sammy? is that allowed? maybe an exception can be made when you've got a desert monster worm in your digestive tract

LOL dean's face would say otherwise

haha now he's just trying to irk him. little brother vibes (even though the actor is older than jackles)

COLE Mm. So, last time you saw this thing, it turned people into killers, too? DEAN Yeah, except that one did a mind-control number on us. (Starts putting jumper cables on a car battery.) COLE Damn. Day in, day out, you and Sammy saving people from things they just can't wrap their minds around . . . Hell, and nobody even notices it. Hell, at least l get a medal for my efforts. But you . . . I tried to kill your ass. DEAN Yeah, well, good times. COLE I almost took you off the map. Who would be saving me now? DEAN Yeah, well, let's not get too sentimental about it.

i guess all it takes is a freaky worm down your gullet to be like hey you guys provide a really valuable service to the world. this guy is a good actor and i like how he's really giving his all, i just think his character and storylines have been not great, which is unfortunate

at least it's consensual torture i guess. pretty shot framing

screaming "chest compressions" in my mind right now. so usually when we get a character heavy showing them in their best light type episode, it means they're about to die. will i see it coming for once or have they made me paranoid?

DEAN That road? That means giving up. If you think that's where you're headed, then you've got it ass-backwards. You're gonna fight harder than you ever have. You understand?

you listening to yourself, dean?

hot. the way dean snatches his arm back made me laugh

paranoid it is! well, i'm glad dean got a win figuring out how to save cole and redeeming himself a tiny bit more

SAM Hey, Cole. Listen, uh, l, uh . . . For whatever it's worth . . . I really wish it hadn't ended this way. COLE Yeah, me, too, Sammy boy.

you know, some people can get away with way too fond and familiar nicknames with people they don't know very well. cole, in my very humble opinion, is not one of them. what a funny choice.

so the wiki page about nicknames links this article

Cole Trenton refers to the boys as Sammy and Dean-o. He wrote about this character choice here.

so i'm skimming through looking for quotes (i don't read other people's recaps/reviews on episodes, trying to keep it to my personal experience for this first time through) and .... it's in the comments????? is this like. a confirmed source?? LOL. i was too embarrassed to read it past the first few paragraphs. NICKNAME CONTROVERSY

very, youtube apology video

SAM I tried. l did. I tried. l just couldn't save this one. DEAN You know, you can do everything right. And even still, sometimes... the guy still dies.

way to not so subtly bring up your impending doom and freak sam out again. i guess i should appreciate that the mark got ignored for a good chunk earlier because i'd be very very over it by now if it had been Present since whenever he got it

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 10x15 #jenny klein

[deans-haunted-baby]

Okay I see there are those who are confused as to why most of us are pissed about 15x19 I will gladly explain in depth:

Let’s start off with our boys Adam Milligan & Michael. These characters have not been seen for 10 fucking years. During that time there were Adam stans like myself campaigning like mad to have him and the infamous archangel return for some much needed closure. We had to content ourselves with headcanons, fanfictions and metas based on what we briefly knew of Adam and Michael as people while they unfairly sat in Hell. You might have seen the “Adam’s Still in Hell” memes that circulated. WE WAITED OVER A DECADE FOR THIS. And finally SPN answers our prayers and returns these boys back into the story for the final season. None of us anticipated what their arc and dynamic would look like. Before we could only imagine who these two characters were/are after having been trapped in a cage so long; what their personalities would be like and if they’d be antagonistic to TFW. 15x08 was a surprise because not only were Adam and Michael likable right out of the gate but the writing for them and their dynamic was damn near flawless! And Jake fucking stole the show he killed it as these two. It’s a crime they were not featured in more episodes because the chemistry between these characters is amazing and they’re played by the same dude.

We were given so much background into both Adam and Michael’s psyches in just a short period of time. Their motivations, interests and how they viewed those that wronged them (like the Winchesters); how Hell affected/changed them both and how they viewed their families. We got to see them banter, cooperate with one another and most importantly their different personalities. With Jake Abel appearing in only a handful of SPN episodes, he still fleshed out Michael and Adam beautifully; giving them layers and complexities that most side-characters (who’ve appeared more times than they have) didn’t. The way Jake played Adam’s anger and resentment towards his brothers was brilliant because it’s more under the surface compared to his angsty teenage self in 5x18. He’d become somewhat restrained, laid-back, gentler and wiser which works because Adam displays traits similar to Sam and Dean. He’s kinder and has a sense of humor but none of that distracts from rational thought as he’s quick to analyze and dissect situations. Man, he would’ve made a great hunter/Men of Letters recruit. We know right off the bat Adam’s pissed at his brothers for abandoning him in a thousand-year-prison-sentence and didn’t lift a finger BUT that ironically doesn’t compromise his willingness to help them unlike his past self in 5x18. Jake gets the point across with this character without saying much and that’s what made him so compelling to watch in this episode.

Now Michael was even more of a mystery onion since he wasn’t onscreen as much as Adam had been in past episodes so Jake got to really build on top of this character. Going from the uptight, cold-blooded merciless celestial warrior/dutiful son of God we saw in 5x22 to someone whom despite his arrogance and regal princely demeanor was very human, intelligent, fair, mindful and compassionate. He trusted Adam and respected his opinions even if he didn’t agree 100%. Whereas most angels take over the vessel completely from their original occupant; Michael chooses to share his vessel with Adam as a mutual agreement which says a lot about who he is. He’s fascinated with humanity and wanted to explore it instead of returning to his throne in the clouds. We know that Michael was created specifically to be Humanity’s protector and guardian of Heaven and Earth so these quirks he’d demonstrated in 15x08 aren’t too far off. He holds a lot of pain inside from his abandonment issues with his father whom he loves to a fault and grief over the death of his brothers. On the surface there’s very much an abused child syndrome thing going on with him though he masks it with a domineering presence. And above all this we saw that he was capable of forgiveness. Whether or not Michael always had these traits inside to begin with, its very evident that his friendship with Adam influenced the person he became post-Hell. And that was someone who, like Castiel, chose to rebel for the sake of free will by aligning himself with the Winchesters after witnessing the evil his father had committed. He actually cared about saving the world. This is what we call character development.

What does 15x19 do? It shits all over that. We don’t get to see Adam and Michael’s dynamic at all; and this was perhaps one of (if not the first) most healthy portrayal of a relationship between an angel and its original vessel occupant in the history of Supernatural. Adam is just killed off-screen Thanos style without so much as one last word and Michael barely reacts like he gives a crap. It was just established to us in 15x08 that he’d developed an emotional bond with Adam through years of inhabiting the same body. He protected Adam while they were trapped together in Hell. They were each other’s only friend and source of comfort. They’d developed a certain co-dependency on each other while respecting one another’s space. They’d both made peace with their joint situation. All they had was each other and the writing in 15x19 basically tells us their relationship meant absolutely NOTHING to Michael based on his OOC actions in this episode. He shows up much darker and shadier now that Adam is gone and its like all those years of friendship, things like that independence, newfound strength and humility he’d gained from living with a human for so long are erased. Michael just reverts back to Chuck’s 5x22 bitchboy persona in the most ridiculous 180 shift I’ve ever seen in my whole damn life. And all because his little brother called him mean names. Pitiful. Just when he lectures Lucifer about standing up for what’s right; he betrays his own words, his allies and the rest of humanity in T-minus 2 minutes. That is total character assassination. Nothing about this motivation makes any sense.

There’s no build up to it, no foreshadowing in 15x08 or throughout 15x19 until they get to the lake. He’s completely deconstructed as a character in this episode and rendered weak. It’s like 15x08 never happened. Stripped of all his development for lousy shock value. Instead utilizing all of what he’d learned through Adam and sticking it to Lucifer by proving he could be more than what Chuck tried to mold him into; Michael becomes just another NPC in the story forfeiting the hero he was. And his reasons for siding with Chuck are never specified. Was it about about saving Adam? Was it about proving something to Lucifer (whom he’d already killed in anti-climatic fashion)? Was it all an act that he was in on with the Winchesters; cause there’s absolutely NO FUCKING WAY they could’ve predicted he’d flip on them like that for their magical plan to work. Not after everything Chuck’s done, killing Adam and Jack and leaving Michael to rot in Hell for eternity. And why would he suddenly go along with destroying the Earth when defeating Chuck would probably get Adam back (if that was his goal) which IT DID not to mention its his sworn duty to freaking protect humanity, hello? So his betrayal meant jack shit in the end as it got him killed by his fucking dad!! He’s brought back into the show only to be ruined forever and killed off in the stupidest fashion.

Moving on.

Jack Kline & Castiel. This iron-clad relationship has been in development for 4 in 1/2 years since before Jack was even born. And next to Adam & Michael its the other most healthy relationship on the show. Castiel, a million year old celestial being, spent the first 9 years of his arc on Supernatural following around the Winchesters, being torn between his loyalty to them and to Heaven. He rebelled when he was supposed to be a straight-by-the-book warrior of God. And he defied every rule in the process even when the odds were stacked against him. There was an endless rinse and repeat cycle of love, loss, betrayal and redemption when it came to his relationship with Sam and Dean. It made his character complex, interesting and layered but it still didn’t give him an arc that was his own. Castiel started out moreso being written as just the Winchester’s angel BFF/side-kick. Until Lucifer got Kelly Kline pregnant in 12x08 then things really took off. Before this, Castiel was a lost soul. His faith was broken, he was depressed, lonely, battered and rundown from years of being conflicted over the other angels and Sam & Dean. He felt he’d lost a sense of self and meaning in his life. And didn’t have a mission. Once he turned on Heaven’s orders, Castiel was a rebel angel without a cause so to speak. But like I said this changes the moment he meets Kelly.

Originally Castiel was suppose to kill Kelly in 12x19 because she was carrying the child of the devil and Nephilim are considered forbidden abominations. Told that if Lucifer’s kid was born he could unleash even more evil into the world. But instead of doing what he thought he should, Castiel decides to runaway with her. Choosing to protect her from all threats (Lucifer, demons, other angels, princes of Hell); this especially included the Winchesters. During this short time-frame the angel develops a strong, emotional bond with Kelly and her unborn son that stretches all the way to the S12 finale; to the point where it actually gave him a power-boost. From the womb, Jack appoints Castiel to be his father and protector and he’s given a glimpse into the child’s destiny that he’ll bring paradise to the world. A prophecy that the writers establish head on. This is an unusual circumstance because right here is where Castiel’s solo arc apart from the Sam & Dean takes shape. The journey of becoming a first time parent and guardian. Its a new kind of independence that for the first time has nothing to do with his friends or his family members/colleagues in the sky. Its his own personal mission that he willingly accepts, the second he connects with Jack from inside Kelly. Castiel immediately falls in love with him, before they even see each other; and adopts the boy devoting himself to keeping him safe. Making a promise to Kelly that would later become a vital plot-point in the seasons to come.  

Castiel literally risks everything (Heaven and Earth) to ensure Jack’s birth and ends up dead by 12x23′s startling conclusion. Leaving the newborn infant Nephilim alone in the care of the Winchesters going into season 13; scared, confused and aged into a seemingly 18 year old boy for his own protection. And Alexander Calvert who is a fantastic addition to the cast really brings something wonderful to this role; he’s like a breath of fresh air and a bright light in the middle of a dark room. Jack’s naïve, innocent and curious about his surroundings but also as Castiel once put it “remarkably intuitive”. Right when he’s introduced his arc is intentionally paralleled with Castiel’s. Their alien-fish-out-of-water beginning is practically identical as is their adorable stoic facial expressions. Like father like son. And this helps because while the angel is currently dead in the beginning of season 13, there’s an empty void he’s left behind. So Jack is kind of his temporary stand-in. Odd enough this type of switcharoo would’ve been considered very controversial but it’s handled quite well. Alex is so likable and charming I almost wish Supernatural had introduced him sooner. I mean I really thought I was looking at Castiel’s actual mini-me and not the son of Satan. But I digress Jack’s story in the first half of this season is pretty much about discovery and reuniting with Castiel. He’s a baby so everything is new to him but he’s also one of the most powerful beings in the universe destined for greatness which makes the Winchesters very nervous.

Jack remembers choosing Castiel as his dad which is why he already feels strongly connected to him. Its a bond so powerful that it actually resurrects Castiel out of the Empty the first time. Something Chuck himself was unable to do (that was until the mess that is 15x19). When they’re finally reunited the payoff comes so naturally. Misha and Alex have such a phenomenal onscreen chemistry starting with that first hug; they really play off one another so well that it doesn’t feel like two angels interacting but a genuine father and son duo. So much of what makes Jack and Castiel’s relationship so relatable, deep and endearing is because of what the actors bring to it. But they’re not just a fascinating relationship, they’re compelling on their own too. Both trying to find their way in the world and within the Winchesters’ lives. Death is no stranger to either of them (tragic being that Jack is only a toddler). They’ve each experienced their own personal pain, traumas, life lessons, mistakes and decisions. The biggest for Castiel would be his deal with the Empty to save Jack in 14x08. While for Jack it was the consequences of said deal that would lose his soul causing him to accidently kill Sam and Dean’s mom in 14x18 as a result (something that Jack struggles with immensely to the brink of depression from so much guilt and regret that he’d rather die). Repercussions that would follow into the shows final season. What’s interesting about this deal though is that Castiel made it on parental instinct alone not as a promise to Kelly. He chose to sacrifice himself for the sake of his son as a selfless act of love and kept it a secret from Sam & Dean until his death in 15x18. That’s the extent how much this child meant to him. The other great thing about their family dynamic is that it parallels nicely with the Winchesters. Castiel and Jack share this unconditional love that can never be broken. its even greater than their ties to the Winchesters themselves just as Sam & Dean’s love for each other is greater than any of their other relationships. They would do anything for each other. Castiel would go to the ends of the earth for the little nougat baby because that’s his son.  

Each time these characters were faced with danger or died, Castiel and Jack were overcome with extreme devastation and distress. That said its not just pain that binds these two its happiness. Jack is the best thing that ever happened to Castiel. Literally becoming a father to that child saved him. It brought him back to life, restored his faith and gave him a sense of self-worth and hope he’d long since abandoned. And for Jack, Castiel is the best dad he’ll ever have! He gave this baby comfort, wisdom, nurturing, strength. Was always there when he needed him whether it was to talk or to have his back. No other person in Jack’s life has ever made such an important impact nor made him feel more safe and loved than Castiel. Even when Jack had done such a horrible thing to Mary alienating himself from his family; it was Castiel’s unyielding devotion to Jack that ended up being his salvation. This was huge because once again he’d chosen over the Winchesters proving that no matter what (whether it be the world ending) his son comes first. So when Castiel’s pact with the Empty finally comes due in 15x18 you’d think it’d have an earth-shattering affect on Jack in 15x19. I mean for the first bit it does...until he becomes God. Then its like to hell with that relationship. Castiel is a complete afterthought to Jack and the rest of TFW in this episode. JACK DOESN’T EVEN GET TO GRIEVE HIM PROPERLY. And he just lost his dad because of a deal he’d made a year ago for him. A DEAL JACK HAS BEEN FUCKING DREADING WHILE HE WAS SOULLESS MIND YOU. And when he finally has the power to bring him back, he doesn’t? Jack just walks around with a conceited smirk on his face, bids Sam and Dean adieu and fucks off. I mean who gives a shit right, its only your dad that you love more than anything. This was extremely OOC given that time in 14x14 Jack nearly lost his shit when Castiel got infected with gorgon poison; the anti-venom wasn’t working so Jack resorts to using his powers putting his soul at risk.

I mean if he was so limited to helping Castiel in the Empty AT LEAST FREAKING CLARIFIY THIS TO THE AUDIENCE. This is not about shipping a certain pairing btw. Jack becoming God is not the issue its his characterization after the fact. His first instinct would’ve been to save his dad above getting in touch with the Earth. Yes we knew this transformation was coming it was foreshowed way back in Season 12. Does that justify bad writing or character assassination?? HELL NO.

This is what I’m talking about, episode 15x19 deliberately butchers these characters and their relationships. It shat all over them. No one is behaving like themselves. The pacing is wonky and inconstant. The script feels like it underwent several rewrites and I swear there were scenes cut out. The acting is off too and maybe the pandemic could be blamed for these things but it ultimately falls on the writer. Buckleming screwed up by showing us they don’t know who the hell these characters are, their motivations nor do they give a rat’s ass. And its noticeable on screen. I’ve known better fanfiction writers for SPN than these guys. It’s like they all came back to work but just didn’t care to put the effort into it. That’s why people like me are upset and we have every freaking right to be. Some of us have been with this series for the entire 15 year run. I at least expect these characters to be handled better and for things to make sense. 15x19 doesn’t and its not satisfying its just a cruel joke. The writers and Dabb should be embarrassed to have put this out there thinking we’d just swallow it and shut up. But far as I’m concerned the only thing this episode serves is to disrespect and ruin everybody while angering long-time fans.

MICHAEL. ADAM MILLIGAN. JACK KLINE AND CASTIEL DESERVED BETTER. And that’s the tea.

#adam milligan #Jack Kline #supernatural #castiel #michael the archangel #michael spn #SPN #midam #dadstiel #adam x michael #castiel x jack #spn 15x19 #supernatural season 15 #michael #spn spoilers #spn season 15 part 2 #spn rant #spn meta #THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR WHAT HAPPENED HERE #supernatural 15x19