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emeraldsummers · 2 days

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Fic: More Than An Ally?

Fandom: 9-1-1

Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hen Wilson, Chimney Han, Maddie Buckley, Christopher Diaz, Tommy Kinard

Pairing: Buck/Tommy (not the focus, it's more about Buck)

Summary:

Buck keeps referring to himself as an ally, mostly by accident, but also because he's not sure he's ready to say what he really is.

(Or, five times Buck calls himself an ally, and one time he doesn't.)

Buck couldn’t stop grinning.

Eyes scanning out across the room, he took in the sight surrounding him. Maddie and Chim, giggling together like they were teenagers, Christopher looking so damn grown up in his suit, Eddie sitting beside him nearly glowing with pride, Hen and Karen’s new daughter beaming at being able to show off her family, Tommy standing beside the buffet table, fully engrossed in conversation with an old teammate, wearing the hell out of his dress uniform in a way that made Buck feel like the luckiest guy in the room.

He played with the medal hanging around his neck. A medal he had earned for saving lives, for doing the right thing, for being a hero.

Yeah, today was a good day.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hen approaching him, and he turned to greet her.

“Hey! This is great, isn’t it?”

“Hmm? Yeah, this is fun,” she seemed distracted, looking over Buck’s shoulder as she spoke. “I haven’t gotten a chance to try dessert yet, have you?”

“Yeah, the chocolate mousse is…” he trailed off. “Is everything okay?”

She shook her head at that, and when she looked back at Buck she seemed less unsettled. “Sorry, yeah, everything is good.” At the pointed look he gave her, she admitted, “I’m just trying to avoid talking to Captain Gerrard.”

“Ah,” Buck responded. That made sense.

“You meet him?”

“Briefly,” Buck said. “But mostly I’ve heard the stories.” It had only taken five seconds of listening to Gerrard talk for him to realize the stories probably got worse than the ones he had heard.

“It’s not like I’m scared of him,” she hastily clarified. “I can handle him and any guys like him. It’s just… today is a really nice day. And I don’t need to blemish today with whatever garbage comes out of his mouth.”

And Buck understood that. “Makes sense. He doesn’t deserve even a second of your time. Just stick with me, and if he comes near, we’ll make a run for it.” He gave her a small wink, causing her to laugh.

“Thanks, Buck.” And she sounded like she meant it. Seemed like Buck wasn’t the only one getting sentimental today.

“I know things haven't always been this way. I know that under Gerrard your team didn't have your back. I just want you to always know that now, everyone at this station, we’re all allies here,” he said sincerely.

Hen made a face before letting out a short laugh. “Allies, Buck? Really? You?”

And, huh. Buck hadn’t realized he had said, so he quickly corrected, “I meant I’d be your ally. Which I am.”

It sounded like a weak explanation, even to him, but Hen gave him an odd, almost knowing look before saying, “Well, I'll say the same for you. I'm your ally, and everyone else at this station? They're here for you too. They're actually allies, Buck.”

Buck laughed at that, but the emotions of the day were starting to catch up with him and her words were hitting him hard. “I know, Hen. I'm really lucky I was assigned the 118 and I'm lucky it was under Bobby.”

“We both are,” she gave him a nudge before apparently deciding to lift the mood to something lighter. “Anyways,” she said with a grin, “There's definitely one benefit to Gerrard being from the dinosaur’s club.”

At Buck’s quizzical grin, she answered “We’d definitely be able to outrun him.”

II.

The apartment fire ended up being much smaller than originally anticipated, so by the time the 118, the third station to be dispatched, had arrived on the scene, the only job left to do was check the surrounding units to ensure they were still structurally sound. Buck and Chimney were heading up to the fifth floor, enjoying the easy call with casual conversation as they climbed.

“Tommy said he’s got a surprise for our date tonight, but I bet it involves the chopper,” Buck said with a smile. “He’s been hinting at it.”

Chimney gave a quick laugh. “Can’t say I’m jealous. I prefer my dates on the ground. At home.”

“Yeah, well,” Buck said with a sly grin, “The adrenaline is like nothing else, trust me. He took me up a few weeks back, and let me just say…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chimney cut in. “I get it. Don’t need to imagine it.”

“Fine, fine,” Buck sighed. “I’m just saying, I’m excited for this shift to be over.”

After knocking on the last few doors of the fifth floor, the building was clear and it was time to pack up and head back to the station. The lobby of the apartment building was much busier than the stairwell had been, with members of the 273 and 142 packing up their stuff and doing final check-ins with the affected residents.

“You know,” Chim said. “What you mentioned earlier doesn’t surprise me. Tommy always had a thing for flying, even back in the day. He was obsessed with Top Gun.”

Buck laughed at that. When Tommy had found out Buck hadn’t seen it, he’d made sure to watch it for their next movie night, only for them to miss most of it due to getting a bit wound up and therefore distracted. Since it was important to Tommy that Buck actually watched it, they’d tried it again for their next movie night, that time with more success.

“He’s still obsessed, trust me,” Buck replied. Then, with another, louder laugh, “I’m surprised you weren’t able to clock him earlier.” At Chim’s confused expression, Buck continued, “Obsession with Top Gun? That’s like, the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He didn’t realize how loud his voice had grown until the firefighter passing by him stopped dead in his tracks, like he wasn’t sure he heard what he just heard. He was from the 142 and very young, probably still a probie based on the nervous way he was carrying himself. He looked at Buck with his mouth open like he was going to say something, before deciding not to and continuing to walk past, shaking his head.

It took Buck a second before he realized what had just happened. What the probie was probably thinking.

Shit.

“Hey!” Buck called as he followed the probie through the crowd of people. “That came out wrong! I’m not - I’m not homophobic. I’m an ally, okay? Didn’t mean anything by it. I swear!”

The probie was determinedly not turning around to hear Buck out, but Chimney was following him at his side.

“Buck,” he said carefully. Buck knew that tone, knew it meant he was missing something stupidly obvious. He looked at Chimney waiting, but Chim just looked at him incredulously. “You’re dating a man.”

And, oh. Well, duh, Buck thought.

Buck turned back to where the probie had been walking, practically yelling, “Hey! I have a boyfriend! Not homophobic!”

But the probie was gone, slipped completely out of sight, and Buck had no idea if he’d heard him or not. The rest of the 142 definitely did hear him though, based on the way they were glancing at him awkwardly.

Chim patted him on the shoulder with a sigh before walking back to their own truck, leaving Buck to mumble a quick “Just a misunderstanding” before hurrying after him.

III.

Buck was always grateful for dinners with Eddie and Christopher at the Diaz household. Tonight, Eddie was insisting on cooking, much to Christopher’s chagrin, but even though Buck loved cooking for them, he was grateful for the opportunity to sit at the table and hang out with Chris.

Technically, he was supposed to be making sure Chris got his homework done, but Buck preferred to be a bad influence and instead talk about Chris’ day.

“Today, in social studies, we were talking about different kinds of families,” Chris shared.

“Oh yeah? What’s that mean?” Hanging out with Chris, he was always amazed at how different school was now from his own childhood.

“You know, how most people have a mom and a dad. But some people have step-parents. Or guardians. Or two dads. Stuff like that.”

“Oh,” Buck replied. That definitely wasn’t talked about when he was Chris’ age.

“Some people in my class were confused,” Chris continued, “But I already knew that. It’s obvious. Denny has two moms. Harry has a mom and a dad and two step-dads. I have Dad and Carla and you.”

And it was the fact that Chris said that last part so casually, like it was the simplest, most obvious thing in the world that Buck was a part of his family that left Buck speechless.

But Chris continued like he hadn’t just made Buck’s whole year. “Some people in my class had never even heard of people that are L-G-B-T-Q-I-A.” He spelled out the acronym slowly, like he wanted to make sure he said it right.

Buck hummed, trying to think of what to say. He wasn’t sure he was prepared to explain homophobia to a 13-year old, and he wanted to be careful with his words.

But Chris ended up asking something different.

“What does the A stand for?”

Buck let out a relieved sigh. “It uh, it stands for ‘asexual’ or ‘aromantic’. It means someone who doesn’t experience any attraction, or experiences it less than non-ace people.” Buck cringed a bit at himself, fully aware his explanation was lacking, but he wasn’t sure if Chris understood the difference between romantic and sexual attraction yet. “Sometimes, in some contexts, the A stands for ‘ally’”.

“What’s an ally?” Chris asked.

“An ally is someone who… it’s like me and your dad. Someone who isn’t L, G, B, T, or Q, but supports the community and wants to fight for their rights.”

Chris made a face, turning to stare at Buck quizzically. After a beat of silence, Chris finally spoke.

“Buck. You can’t be an ally. You’re with Tommy so you’ve gotta be the G or the B or the Q, right?” And again, he was able to say it like it was the most simple, obvious fact in the world.

Buck let out a nervous laugh that quickly became a genuine one. He had honestly forgotten for a moment, but of course Chris hadn’t.

“You’re right. Your dad’s the ally. I’m… one of those”. Chris didn’t seem to notice him trailing off, and before the conversation could continue, Eddie announced that dinner was served.

“No matter what he made, Chris, make sure you tell him it’s the best dinner ever.”

Christopher groaned, and Buck made his way to the table, eager to enjoy a meal with his family.

IV.

Maddie apologized as she excused herself for Jee-Yun’s night routine, but truthfully this was one of Buck’s favorite parts of visiting his sister after work.

Getting to be there while she went through the peaceful normality of every day routine with her daughter, it filled Buck with such a distinct sense of contentment. He sat in the kitchen, idly playing with his phone, but mostly listening to the domestic sounds around him. The apartment was small enough that he could hear Jee’s shrieks and giggles from the bathtub, hear Maddie negotiating her out of the tub with the promise of her choice of book tonight, and hear Jee trying to start playtime again as Maddie dressed her for bed.

When the apartment finally got quieter, only the low hum of Maddie’s voice audible, Buck quietly stood up and walked closer to Jee’s bedroom. From the hallway near the door, Buck was able to hear Maddie reading the book, a simple story about a princess on her quest to save her kingdom. He closed his eyes, and for a moment he was taken back to his childhood bedroom, to Maddie curled up next to him reading a comedic retelling of Little Red Riding Hood, to her rolling her eyes when he begged her to do the silly voices, to her agreeing just to hear Buck laugh…

Jee-Yun was a lucky girl. She really did have the best mom.

When he could tell the story was winding to a close, he silently made his way back to his spot in the kitchen, not wanting to seem like he was intruding.

A few minutes later, he could hear Maddie making her way back. “Sorry about that,” she said softly. “Bedtime without Daddy always means it takes more time to get her settled.”

“Hey, don’t even worry about it. Wasn’t long at all.” Then after a beat, “When’s Chimney getting home anyways?”

She shrugged. “Probably late. He hasn’t seen Albert in ages, and he hasn’t had a guys night out in even longer.”

He turned to see her carrying a beer in each hand as she made her way over to the table.

“Thanks,” he said as she handed it to him.

She smiled. “I’m never going to complain about getting one-on-one time with my brother.”

Buck laughed before sipping his beer, a thought from earlier coming back to the forefront of his mind.

“Hey, that story you were telling Jee. I noticed it ended with the princess falling in love with another princess…” he trailed off, trying to sound nonchalant, like that detail hadn’t immediately stuck out at him as he was listening.

“You caught that, huh?” She gave him a pensive look before apparently deciding to let it go. “We have books where the princess falls in love with the prince, we have books where the princess falls in love with another princess. We have a book where the princess becomes the prince. We just… we want Jee to know that these are all possibilities for her. That all of these possibilities have happy endings.”

“That’s… nice.” Buck was trying to piece his words together. “It’s like, she won’t have to learn what being gay is, or that it’s okay, she’ll just always know. And if she is queer in some way, it would be way less confusing for her when she figures it out. Huh.”

“Exactly,” Maddie responded, reaching out to take his hands across the table. “Buck, I’m sorry I never gave that to you growing up. I’m sorry if it ever made you feel confused, or if you were ever scared to tell me things growing up. I should have made sure you knew I would have loved you no matter what.”

“What? Maddie -” That wasn’t what he was trying to say. “I always knew you loved me. That’s not it. Any of the confusion, it wasn’t your fault. It was a different time, books like that didn’t even exist.”

“I know, but still -”

“What I was trying to say,” he cut in, “was that it didn’t even occur to me that I should be talking to Jee about stuff like this. What if I've subconsciously been teaching her all of these outdated norms and ideas? As an ally, I should have already been thinking of this!”

“Whoa, whoa,” Maddie released his hands to hold them out in front of her for a moment, before bringing them back down onto the table. “First of all, she’s three. So no, you haven’t permanently instilled homophobia in her by accident.” Buck rolled his eyes at her oversimplification of what he was trying to say. “Secondly, ‘as an ally’? You’re still going with that?”

“I-” Buck hadn’t even realized he had said that, let alone that that would be what Maddie caught from his rambling. “I don’t know, I guess not. It doesn’t matter, does it? You knew what I meant.”

“I mean, it matters a little bit, doesn’t it?” She softened her voice. “If I’m pushing too much, just tell me and I’ll back off. But we haven’t really talked about this.”

And Buck knew that was true. He knew his declarations were about dating Tommy, knew he never really wanted to actually talk about himself, never really let anyone know how much self-discovery he was working on. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

“Because,” and she lowered her voice almost to a whisper, talking to Buck like she was scared he would bolt. “You’re bi, right? Or pan?”

“I guess,” Buck said with a breath. “Why do I have to call myself anything?”

“You don’t,” she said quickly, “I’m sorry if I pushed. Really, it's none of my business. Especially as a straight person. But calling yourself an ally probably isn’t the move, right?” She gave him the kind of knowing, sly smile that only a sibling could.

And just like that, the mood was already lightened. Buck let out a relieved laugh. “Yeah, it’s uh, becoming something of a bad habit.” He took another sip of his beer. “But thanks, by the way. No one else is going to push me, and I think I might need it.”

“Hey, it’s what allies and sisters are for.”

Buck was antsy as he sat in the back of the firetruck. His shift was scheduled to be over two hours ago, but the drunk driver that caused a ten-car pileup on the highway had made sure he would be late, and Buck was eager to get back to the station so that he could head to Tommy’s.

They were supposed to be attending a comedy show for date night, but Buck had texted a couple hours ago that he was unfortunately going to be very late, and to see if they could get a refund on the tickets. Tommy texted back not to worry, he understood how these things went, and that he’d be waiting at home with a bottle of wine

God, how did Buck ever get so lucky?

Once finally back at the station, Buck didn’t even bother to shower or even change out his uniform, instead grabbing his bag from his locker and practically sprinting to his Jeep, laser-focused on the shower he would have at Tommy’s and the person who would be joining him in it.

He forced himself not to break traffic laws to get himself there faster, and when he finally knocked on Tommy’s door he was nearly breathless with excitement. As he heard the door unlock, he forced his face into a more casual expression as the door opened. That expression was promptly abandoned when he saw Tommy smiling in front of him, and he matched the smile tenfold as Tommy took his hand and welcomed him inside.

Closing the door behind him, Buck took Tommy’s face in his hands and crowded him against the wall, pressing their lips together with a soft hum. “Rushed right over,” he whispered against his mouth.

Tommy broke apart for a moment, hand reaching up to play with the collar of Buck’s uniform. “I can tell,” he said with a sly smile.

For a moment Buck stilled, once again worried he would come across as over-eager, but then Tommy kissed him deeper, his hands dipping to hold his waist tightly, and Buck was again reminded how well Tommy responded to the eagerness.

They broke apart after a moment, and Buck could see Tommy’s eyes travel from his eyes downward, landing on a spot on Buck’s shirt.

“I like the pin,” Tommy said with a small laugh.

Mind still focused on the weight of Tommy’s body against his own, it took Buck a moment to realize what Tommy was referring to.

He was staring at the small Progress Pride Flag pinned to his shirtpocket.

“Oh!” Buck laughed. “The station got these, since it’s Pride month. I know it’s a little hokey, but I wanted to make sure everyone we help knows that they’re safe with us. That they’re safe with me. That I’m an ally.”

“Evan,” Tommy deadpanned, his body stiffening.

Buck blanked for a moment before realizing what he had said. “Shit, yeah. Um, you know what I mean.”

“I mean, I do and I don’t,” Tommy responded. He didn’t sound annoyed, so at least there was that. “I didn’t realize you were still calling yourself an ally.”

Buck pulled away, suddenly feeling exposed. He turned towards the bathroom, hoping a shower would put this conversation on pause until it could be forgotten.

But no, he didn’t really want to run from this. Not with Tommy. He turned back around. “No, I don’t… not really. I know I’m not, I know I’m not straight. I know that. I don’t know why it feels so weird to say what I actually am.”

“It’s still new,” Tommy reasoned.

“Exactly! And I’ve called myself an ally for so long, in my head that’s still where I’m categorized. Even though I know… I know the definitions. I think I know which one fits, it just doesn’t feel like… mine yet.” Tommy was studying him, and suddenly Buck worried this crisis was going to put him off. Tommy had been out for years at this point. He had no problem calling himself gay and seeing himself as part of the community. Buck knew this problem was immature, a sign that he was still so new to all of this, something most people figured out in their teens or twenties.

But instead, Tommy walked closer to him and took his hands. “Whatever label you’re thinking of, it’s yours if you want it. You’re a part of this community, Evan, no one can take that away from you.” He moved one of his hands to Buck’s face, cupping his cheek. “But if the labels feel stifling, you don’t need to pick one. Lots of people don’t use them. It doesn’t matter to me, just as long as you know that this is real.”

And God, somehow Tommy always knew how to reassure him. The spiral that he had been about to send himself on started to unwind, and Buck remembered why he was so excited to get over here. He closed the distance between them, capturing Tommy in a deep kiss, and his anxieties became lost to the moment, because oh, did he know how real this was.

Buck was nervous. He’d only attended Pride once before, back in 2019 when the 118 was selected to participate in the parade, and so his experience was limited to standing in the bed of the truck, wearing his uniform and a rainbow feather boa and waving at the passing crowds. Every other year, he volunteered to work so that the queer staff members could attend the festivities, like an ally should.

This year, however, he was attending for real.

As it turned out, Pride was a lot more than just the parade. There were street fairs, art markets, concerts, movie screenings, and so, so many parties. Tommy would be Buck’s guide through the crazy, and so they were enjoying the afternoon heat by walking through the block party, browsing through the many vendors.

Walking hand-in-hand with Tommy, Buck’s attention was drawn not to the vendors, but to the crowds of people around them. Buck was struck by the sheer number of vibrant personalities surrounding them, a wave of contentment washing over him. Los Angeles was a pretty liberal city, but he realized this was the first time in his life he’d seen this much open queer affection in his entire life. In the daytime, no less. It was so affirming that he almost became overwhelmed, but instead he squeezed Tommy’s hand, basking in the fact that he felt so comfortable doing that.

The next booth they approached caught Buck’s eye. It was a simple booth, stocked only with dozens of rolls of stickers. The person behind the counter, young and welcoming, smiled as they walked up.

“Hey,” they greeted. “Stickers are pay-anything, with the proceeds going towards homeless queer youth.” They gestured at the donation box on the counter.

“Sure, why not?” Tommy said, reaching into his wallet and grabbing two five dollar bills. “Pick which one you like, on me,” he winked.

Buck studied the options in front of him, realizing the booth was offering every queer-adjacent sticker that could ever exist.

There were the identity labels, ranging from ones he was familiar with to ones he would need to Google later. There were pronoun stickers. Flag stickers, many of which he didn’t recognize. Stickers announcing relationship status. Stickers with puns and references to queer media. Stickers that were downright dirty or announcing preferred sex acts. Stickers that Buck was pretty sure related to niche fetishes but was too nervous to ask about. And many more with generic Pride-related sayings and images.

Buck was pretty sure that every single person that walked up to this booth would be able to pick out at least one sticker that applied to them, if not many more.

Buck took his time looking at his options, but truthfully he knew which one had caught his eye. He’d known as soon as he saw what this booth was offering. He considered making a joke and picking the ‘Ally’ sticker, but he knew the joke would only feel funny for a moment before it felt stale and he felt uncomfortable wearing it. He considered picking a random rainbow, not technically a lie but still feeling like a cop-out, before hastily pointing to his choice before he could change his mind.

The volunteer cut the sticker and handed it to Buck, who studied it for a moment before peeling it off and sticking it onto his shirt, on the right side of his chest.

Buck took a deep breath and turned back to Tommy, eyeing the “PROUD AS FUCK” sticker newly adorning his tank top, and saw Tommy’s eyes move to read Buck’s sticker.

“I like it,” Tommy said simply.

Buck glanced down at the sticker, its pink, purple, and blue background with “BISEXUAL” written in white letters. “I like it too. Bisexual.” The word came out without hesitation, without deflecting or even stuttering on it. “Feels like me.”

And Buck took Tommy’s hand, pulled him back to continue walking down the street, and Buck kissed him right there in the crowd under the sun, truly knowing what it meant to feel free.

#911 #911 abc #bucktommy #911 fic #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #tommy kinard #bucktommy fic #tevan #tevan fic #fic #myfic #911 fics #911 fandom

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focusontheheart · 3 days

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I am in LOVE with your game! I only stopped playing today to fulfill my essential human needs. You’ve all done such an amazing job with the text, backdrops, music, and all the characters! I have finished two routes so far (Talanah and Drakka) and I’m currently playing the Petra one. I’m dedicated to finishing all of them to see all the hard work you’ve put into FOTH. They're all so captivating and the collectables are absolutely stunning! I already know I'll be replaying this as soon as I finish all of the storylines. I still haven't gotten THE endings, but I also haven't gotten the bad ones. One more reason to do it all over again (gladly of course)! Thank you, thank you, thank you, for making such an amazing game!!! I can't wait to play more of it tomorrow! I hope you all know how proud of yourselves you should be for undertaking and finishing such a project. Not to mention how well done it is! Congrats once again! 💖💖💖

Oh my goodness, please stay hydrated and have lots of snacks at the ready!! We're absolutely tickled pink that you're enjoying the game so much -- so many big props to the team effort it took to bring everything together.

We're so excited that you're playing the various routes, please do use our tags/ send in more asks here to let us know what you think!! We're sharing all the positivity in our dev server, and we could not be happier that everyone is having such a good time. 🥰

It's wonderful to see & hear that the replay value is so good already, especially to see the script variances & get all the different endings. (There's also an easter egg ending if you're keen enough to find it! 👀)

We're all still in a bit of a fugue state -- the adrenaline is just starting to wear off, then we see more reactions and get hyped again that so many of you are having fun playing! We're all so incredibly proud of the team and what we've accomplished; this is truly a unique fandom experience to be a part of. We hope you continue to enjoy this love letter from us to you, to fandom, and to these characters 💘💘

#focus on the heart #foth #foth visual novel fangame #foth dating sim fangame #foth: asks and answers

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thegoblinboy · 1 year

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This was a quick write and I put in my own experiences in. It’s a bit rushed but I ended up writing more then what I meant to 👀 pretty much I’m projecting my overstimulation on Eddie, plus I love to think Steve doesn’t just babysit the group but other smaller kids as well and he becomes very aware of their needs.

Just- Eddie gets overstimulated all the damn time and has to either bites something or does his overwhelmed bat hands. Flapping them aggressively as he runs away from a situation making Goblin noises. Before he’s putting his hands to his ears and just letting all the noises off from his chest. The amount of times he’s just done that with the group of hellfire boys, it’s become a normal thing. Garett, Jeff and Grant all got used to this years ago. So they knew about how the other got.

Meanwhile Dustin, Mike and Lucas could all get a tad overwhelming. Which is why the other boys all just decide to try and teach them that Eddie gets overstimulated really easily and it takes him more effort to understand peoples tones. Because he puts all his energy into that his tone sometimes doesn’t come off as friendly, and he doesn’t realize it half the time.

But anywho back to the being on course. All of them are somewhat used to it, and they are all shocked by how well Eddie is handling everything in the upside down. Besides a few clicking noises and popping noises he doesn’t run away from them. And when he looks like hes getting overwhelmed he has to close his eyes and rub his head back to hold himself back.

So when everything is finally done and the other is in the hospital. He’s so fucking overstimulated that he’s not even crying because of the pain anymore. The doctors don’t know what to do, not until they start to catch on and they try to help the other be as comfortable as possible. Then Eddie’s ok for a bit.

Then when he leaves the hospital, that’s when everything hits him all at once. It had always strained him a bit to hold himself back from doing what normally helps him with being overstimulated. So he has on and off days but soon enough it’s all good days and he’s with Robin and Steve. The two are energetic just like him but today he can feel himself getting overstimulated and he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. Though something on the radio turns to a high pitched static and robins making noise that doesn’t make since jumping up and down and holding her ears as Steve is quick to shut it off. Quickly and gently not touching her the best he can, moves and has her sit in the back room in the dark with a window open so she can breathe. He moves back out apoligizing to eddie who is really trying not to do the bat flap and just run away with goblin noises.

Steve looks at him and raises a eyebrow. You see he’s been helping Robin out for a while, plus he’s been babysitting smaller kids for a while and he doesn’t know what it’s called but he knows when someone’s getting overwhelmed. He moves over closer to the other as he hums. “Are your stims loud or are they quite?” He asks curiously. That’s what one of the parents used for their child, who was in the process of being diagnosed for autism. And it seemed to be the only word that would fit Robin and Eddie at the moment.

“My what?” Eddie asks confused.

“Stims? Oh shit sorry I have this kid who gets overwhelmed really easily, and well he does these things when he is. He does a bird flap with his hands, starts to click his tongue, whistle or just say certain words over and over again because he likes how they sound. His parents call them stims, and Robin has them as well when she gets overwhelmed and you have the same face that the kid I babysit gets when he’s trying to act normal so- that and the kids told me you apparently turn goblin sometimes.” Steve explains looking at the other with curiousity.

And if Eddie wasn’t about to cry from how overwhelming everything was he would shamelessly fall in love with the other. No one’s ever treated what he has done normal for the first time he does it in his life. Though he’s quick to stammer out a sentence. Breathing picking up. “I get loud.”

“Well, Robin gets overwhelmed by loud or i else I would let you chill with her.” Steve frowns. “What normally helps?” He asks curiously. And Eddie flushed.

“I don’t know.”

“Ok- um come here. The kid I babysit when he gets overwhelmed really likes to cuddle. Maybe you’re the same?” Steve hums and Eddie’s face is flushing as he moves shamelessly over. If the other thought he could help then he would take it. He would cry if it didn’t work.

Steve moves letting the other in and he pulls the other into a warm hug gently rubbing his back and playing with his curls. It was a little overwhelming at first but when Eddie finally lets himself have a moment to close his eyes and breath, Steve’s the first person to properly bring him down. Though Steve does ask him what it means for him to turn “goblin” so he does end up making the noises he normally does acting as if he was saying normal words. Steve doesn’t laugh and nods his head as he helps the other to the best of his abilities.

When Robin comes out shes a little tired but a lot better. Eddie finally lets go when he feels better and Steve hums. “Weighted blankets normally help that kid I was telling you about, if you want I have a extra if you want it.”

And boy does Eddie fall in love.

#stranger things #steve x eddie #steddie #overstimulated #i get overstimulated #autistic eddie munson #Robin gets overwhelmed as well #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #post season 4 #Eddie calls his flappy hands bat hands #he bites things when he gets overwhelmed as well #he makes a lot of mouth noises and will say your mom a lot #I’m projecting so hard on this character #this is a bit rushed but I’m proud #Steve has learned how to help only because of his babysitting skills and because he loves his platonic soulmate Robin #Robin and Eddie share tips afterwords #Eddie does get a weighted blanket and he will drop on his knees for King Steve any day #Eddie would have a thing for Dino’s #he would totally find a stuffed Dino at Steve’s that a kid left behin and would just steal it #Eddie likes chewing on things so Steve constantly has gum on him now #this is a healthy relationship where Steve helps Eddie’s needs and Eddie helps Steve’s needs #bxb

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dragons-in-spaceee · 1 year

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Andy Weir is so so good at making a HUGE impact when a character cries or breaks down. The rest of the novels are usually pretty light hearted and suddenly BAM. TEARS. and it just really gets me. It suddenly reminds me of the massive impact those kinds of situations would actually have because these people are HUMAN. The reality of what they are going through. Amazing 10/10

#they’re crying and then I’m crying and there’s tears on the book-#the scene with the climate science guy in phm? With the nukes? that fucking got me so hard #you just know that if a character cries in an andy weir book it’s gonna be written so well and you’re going to be crying too #project hail mary #andy weir #the martian #phm #ryland grace #artemis book #books #writing #not art

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citricacidprince · 1 month

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Any character can be autistic if I project hard enough 💥

#this popped into my head cause I’m playing Persona 5 Royal and Futaba and Yusuke are very autistic to me #So is Makoto and Haru and Hifumi and-#like I said; any character can be autistic if I project hard enough 💥#Yu and Yukiko from Persona 4 Golden are also autistic I don’t make the rules 👍#autistic headcanon #prince rambles in this chilies tonight

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redjukebox · 4 months

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The amount of times Charlie makes a bit of calling someone papa makes me wanna psychoanalyze him so bad

But I won’t

#slimecicle #charlie slimecicle #I’m trying really hard to limit the amount of psychoanalysis I do on streamers #Gegg makes me want to rip his brain open and look inside #but alas #I am just a viewer #so I’ll project all this onto his character

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buddiesmutslut · 12 days

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I have to be honest, I hate the “Eddie has so much sex with women, we don’t see him having any problems with it so he CAN’T be gay.”

Like, it took me YEARS to realize that the way I was feeling about sex wasn’t normal, that you weren’t supposed to feel empty & cold & a little gross after sex, when the high of an orgasm wears off. Even when I didn’t really want to have sex, I still did it, bc that’s what was expected of me & I thought it was normal. I had a whole “slut phase” on my late teens-early 20’s, & thought that the way I was feeling was normal. I didn’t stumble onto the word “demisexual” until I was like, 25 years old & had already decided that I was just broken, somehow.

Granted, I am a woman, so the experiences might not be exactly the same, and I obviously don’t know what direction they’ll go with Eddie’s sexuality, but I think for a lot of people that discover their queerness later in life, you don’t even realize that what you’re feeling is wrong or that there may be another way to feel until something happens & you can’t really ignore it anymore.

Idk, sexuality is really confusing & I feel like it’s going to be that much harder for Eddie, considering the way he grew up & his predilection to repression. He could be literally anything.

#911 abc #eddie diaz #I truly believe that Eddie is gay but that’s not really the point of this post #sexuality #911 speculation #I guess it’s spec idk.#am I projecting onto Eddie? maybe idk #also I feel like we’ve never seen Eddie have sex just bc he enjoys having sex like Buck (the other bi character) does #like with Shannon it was mostly about avoiding talking or making their family whole again #we never really actually saw anything with Ana other than a kiss & her comment in the suit shop before he had a panic attack #I think the closest we had is with Marisol but I’m having a hard time taking their relationship seriously #given that she STILL doesn’t have a last name & Eddie moved her right back out & is currently cheating on her… so…#911 discourse #<< idk that this is really discourse or not but I’m going to tag it anyway just to be safe #BSS rambles about her sexuality on main oops lol

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radiation · 2 months

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(Some people will kill me for this) I watched Neon Genesis Eva back in 2021-ish and the more I think about the show the worse the show gets, I think its a very pretty show, Especially with the strain the animators were put under. But the character writing is pretty awful regarding all of the women in the show, and even disregarding misogyny as a element (Which it IS) The show builds so much momentum just to do nothing with it, This show has a lot of potential it throws away to focus on asuka or whoever shoving her ass in the camera. The themes of human connection are surface level at the best and misguided especially for a audience of 14 year olds at the worst.

Its such a mixed bag I enjoy talking about mostly cause I can find no one who agrees with me, half of the people I encounter just enjoy the cool art anyway and I can get behind that, I just find it impossible to ignore the many many issues with the writing.

#Yeah I agree the show did not do it for me at all #I can usually roll my eyes and ignore fanservice but with such a serious story and such emotionally fucked young characters #It felt so so so deeply fucking scummy it near singlehandedly ruined the whole thing for me. Other weird writing shit on top of it too #I liked end of evangelion a lot tho #Maybe I’ll do a rewatch someday but idk I also feel that the themes feel a lot more surface level than ppl make them out to be #I’m sure that stuff is really appropriate powerful for someone at a different stage of their life than me #But Im not that person so I’m like…Well yeah. Feel it’s hard to connect to if you’re not A Shinji. Banks on a sizeable amount of projection #Art is beautiful thoigh and has tons of things I do really enjoy but. Man idk #Sonny Boy does for me emotionally everything that evangelion was intended to. I’d rather just rewatch that

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unnerving-presence · 10 months

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unpopular opinion i think but i’m sad they didn’t stick with the cold, calculating, but calm wesker. it honestly just doesn’t fit him seeing him get impulsively angry at shit he wouldn’t have gotten angry at in re4 or uc

like he’s this character who has really deep lore and trauma, who has seen the worst of the worst, does bad shit, but is also calm and quick to think of solutions when things go wrong

in his newer iterations it just feels like that part of him is gone? like he just kinda gets angry (ahem re5) and we never really see his quick thinking. it almost feels like he’s so dedicating to his plan he doesn’t want to think of other options and it feels like he doesn’t. sure, you could argue that he’s a lil more crazy in re5, but 3 years ago that fucker didn’t beat around spencer despite him using him his entire life. but all of a sudden when it comes to uroboros he wants to get all cocky and just let his guards do all the work which clearly doesn’t work.

if this were like.. any other wesker iteration he would’ve thought to maybe.. i don’t know, do something smarter instead of letting all his soldiers die? wesker took down an entire umbrella base in russia by himself to get all of umbrella’s files but all of a sudden he’s too lazy to kill 2 people who he could impale in a second when they clearly threaten his plans? is he stupid? yeah probably lol

bring back smart wesker i’m tired of him being stupid aka typical comic villain in re5 :[

#i also don’t like him in cv i’m sorry #funny as hell lines but why is wesker smart only when the devs want him to be #i’m just biased i just uc wesker LMAO #i hate that you can argue pretty much anything too #big ego (which he has in uc but still beats ass while being a little bitch)#crazy (fair but back to what i said abt spencer. perhaps that was his downfall but it should really be made clearer)#plot armor (well yes)#me just having an extreme bias toward uc wesker (yes)#wesker not knowing abt project w in his younger years (also yeah but they do not make this shit clear whether it affects him)#(they do it for other characters why can’t they do it for wesker?)#(yeah he’s obviously affected but we don’t even know how much it affects him so it’s hard to even tell if most of his decisions are based-#off that or if it’s just plot armor)#probably plot armor yeah yeah #i just like to complain cause i miss old wesker he was so pookie #i like all the weskers i just wish re5 wesker was somewhat smart

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mossflower · 7 months

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loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches

#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!!#by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept #that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends #it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters #i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days #so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse #i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode #and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol #i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin #for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven #i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh #i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them #but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain #like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media #they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less #how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc #ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal #like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep #i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift #morganposting

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avionvadion · 1 year

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I’ve never won a fifty fifty in all my years of playing Genshin but Baizhu knew.

He came home Guaranteed on my second ten pull immediately after I got Kaveh, and like four ten pulls later he came home again on the fifty fifty.

Baizhu freaking knew.

#I’m gonna be projecting on this man so hard alsjksnsksnsksn #My dnd character even has a snake familiar lol #baizhu my beloved #let’s freaking gooooooooo #Genshin impact #genshin baizhu #genshin impact baizhu #genshin meme

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laniemae · 9 days

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Keep thinking about that one scene in my fangan. Yeah I know it’s literally just a concept in my head and I’m treating it like a real scene and it’s really interesting so I may talk about it later. But it’s basically later on where Kayo confessed her (pre kg) murder to Tsubasa, and how it was essentially impulsive and how she got an innocent person arrested for her crime and never confessed. And she starts breaking down over the memory and how she was completely selfish for what she did and could never forgive herself and is constantly consumed by the regret of what she did.

And when Tsubasa forgives her, Kayo gets really angry and calls him stupid for forgiving her as everything she did in the situation was essentially selfish. Tsubasa doesn’t refute what she says. More so saying that her selfish behaviour was more so in self preservation, and the way she acted within the situation, even if it hurt a lot of people, was understandable considering the trauma she went though, and forgives her for that. And Kayo is really shocked by this as she would’ve expected Tsubasa to simply refute her by saying she wasn’t selfish and is a good person at heart because he didn’t lie about how Kayo put herself first in the situation, and rather interpreted it with a different perspective compared to her extremely self loathing view on it. And that almost makes thing better than Tsubasa essentially lying and seeing a new perspective on her crime from someone other than her and especially rather than denying everything she’s saying, makes her confused and freaked out but rooting a new perspective in for what happened.

But even so Kayo gets defensive saying that even so he may view what she did in that way, he doesn’t have full context of the situation and why she did that. And once again Tsubasa agrees saying that is completely true, but from what he has gathered about the situation and his own ideals and beliefs makes him willing to forgive her, even if there are people out there who wouldn’t. And having her emotions actually be validated by someone instead of being denied in order to “help” her is completely new to her after how the rest of the students tried to comfort her after she attempted murder in chapter 1.

And even if Kayo still can’t forgive herself for what she did the fact that someone was willing to see from her perspective after she had done something like that, she just completely broke down for having been truly accepted by someone who was willing to understand her situation. And Tsubasa didn’t advance any more trying to use typical tactics to help her. No hugs, speeches about how you have to forgive herself, just sitting there while Kayo is letting all her emotions out like that, as he knows she is a person who has a lot of boundaries.

yeah so uhhh. Essentially my protagonist has a milgram esq backstory and stuff and this scene is heavily influenced by the themes of forgiveness in Milgram especially when it comes to murder. And Tsubasa’s reaction to her situation is very much how I wish to be treated when I feel like I’ve done something horrible. Not being said I should stop hating myself or I am actually a good person and was acting out. But having my situation empathised with and not denying everything I say, just looking at it from another perspective. I guess why even being from a fangan I’ll probably never make into an actual thing it just sticks out to me so much. As even if I haven’t straight up killed like Kayo did, it’s almost an expression of how I feel when I act out, or get angry, and can’t forgive myself for anything and projecting my personal suffering onto my characters and have them grow as a person and move on is very inspiring to me even if I’m the one writing it. And even if it’s a lot harder to get to that point irl than writing down as a concept

#Perfect atrophy #Not maintagging this with fanganronpa as it’s kind of a personal topic almost #And if I actually ever make it into a real thing this post would probably come to bite me in the back as it’s a big spoiler for chapter 4 #And for extra context kayo is the protagonist I wrote about not too long ago (note all of my fangan stuff is in the perfect atrophy tag)#And I haven’t posted about him yet but Tsubasa is kinda like the kyoko/chiaki of the game I guess but with a different vibe than those two #And essentially he’s the ultimate philosopher and is one of the main friends of the protagonist #And again feels so funny to talk about this like it’s a real scene and analysing my own characters #And wanting more and too see how the story goes even though I literally made it and know what happens and I’m the one to make it #But even so my fangan and my fangan ocs are really special to me and in a way having my struggles projected onto the characters #Makes me feel better about my myself in real life and it’s why I’ve gotten so attached to the project #Even though I am incredibly bad at coding/it stuff so even if I wanted to make it a reality it’ll be really hard #But I’ll just see how it goes and how far I go into designing it

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