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gaiathemexicanbeauty · 6 months

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it only takes a taste | mike schmidt x reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: none! this is just pure fluff and maybe kind of slowburnish lol

this was loosely based off of it only takes a taste from the waitress musical! :3

idk i just really like the idea of late nights with mike even if he's too tired to even think straight lmao

also don't ask what time period this takes place in, i was born in 2004 and know like 2 things about the 70s-90s or whenever the movie takes place bc its never explicitly mentioned

i also do not regularly bake or cook so do not be afraid to go to my comment section and tell me if something sounds off

i love this man ok, i have said it 1000 times already but i've been in love with him ever since i first saw him when i was like 12 or 13 and was even more so obsessed with rebornica's mike design for YEARS. 12 year old me would have an aneurism if she knew about the fnaf movie

you let out a long yawn, one hand reaching up cover your mouth so as not to potentially ruin the mood of any customers around; granted, there was only two and they were graveyard shifters from somewhere outside of town but customers are customers. you'd been working at sparky's for a couple of months now, figuring it was an easy way to make some cash and keep food on the table. of course, you hadn't accounted for the very long hours that passed where you half debated trying to sneak away since no was around from 2-4:00 am: your boss would kill you, though, and you wanted to stay employed.

soft oldies music plays in the background as you glance over at the clock ticking away on the wall. just as you move to grab a rag to clean the counters for the 5th time during your shift, you hear the bell above the entrance jingle and don't even have to look up to know who it is.

mike wasn't a regular at first, just someone who popped in at random and very quietly asked for a coffee. after a while of starting a new job, he started coming in at almost 11:00 pm everyday and always asking for the same thing: just a plain, black coffee. "seriously?" you had said with a smirk the first time he said his order to you, your eyes widening at the attitude you had just given a customer. fortunately, mike was quick to respond with a tired but good natured laugh, his hands folded in front of him. "i'm all ears if you have other recommendations." he mumbled with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, giving you instant relief.

now, it was just clockwork. "hey." mike sighs with a soft sigh, rubbing a hand over his eyes as he takes a seat at a chair by the counter you were standing behind. "coffee machine is kind of acting up tonight, you're gonna have to give it a minute. want anything else while you wait?" you say as you approach the counter, giving him a quick smile. mike is about to decline your offer, his lips parting to say something before his eyes land on something on the farther end of the counter. "what about that? still good?" "you're just in time. i was going to take the rest of it home." you say with a smile, walking over to the cake stand holding an apple pie with only 3 slices left of it. you take the lid off to plate it, handing it over to mike with a hum before bringing him utensils. you don't even get the chance to bring up to him that the slices have been sitting there for a couple of hours, blinking in shock at the way he's quick to start eating.

you turn your back to start taking down the chalkboard advertising the special from the day before, giving mike his one moment of quiet you were sure he needed. you start to think about what your day will consist of once you're done with your shift, dreading having to clean your room before you can actually sleep. "did you make this?" "yeah. why, is it bad?" you say with a chuckle, turning to look at mike again; your eyes widen a bit at the way mike is looking at you, his own eyes looking at you like he can't believe what he just put it in his mouth. "no, no, it's..it's really good, like. really good." your cheeks redden a bit at the sudden compliment, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear as you occasionally glance at him enjoying the pie you'd made; you wouldn't say you were amazing at cooking but you definitely knew enough to make a meal that would do more than just feed you.

it also didn't help that you'd been harboring a crush on mike for the past month. that you were aware of, he didn't have a partner of any kind but that might have been more to do with the fact he didn't have time for one than anything else. you at first brushed it off as just not having contact with anyone your age that late at night, just enjoying his company when nights got lonely. but you couldn't deny the way you would style your hair a bit differently or try a new perfume in the hopes of getting a compliment from mike; to your absolute pleasure, he almost always pointed it out. now to hear this sudden praise for your cooking took you out of your element.

"thanks, really, but i make it all the time. i can make thousands like it and they'll all be the same." you say with a light chuckle, crossing your arms against your chest as you look over at the cake stand sheepishly. "then maybe you should consider getting a day job making these instead." mike says between bites, giving you a playful smile. you can't help but scoff despite the smile on your face, looking over at mike again. "well, if it's that easy, maybe YOU should quit your job and come and join me. keep me company." the two of you have a quiet laugh, your cheeks reddening at the indirect compliment you had paid him. once his plate is empty, you take it away from him just to have an excuse to do something with your hands (also to get away from the almost fond look that mike was giving you right now, definitely not on par for him). there's a tense silence between the two of you before mike speaks up, clearing his throat when he speaks. "uh, i tried making that at home. the pie, i mean. i don't remember what kind it was right now, but it definitely didn't end as well as that." he says with a nervous laugh, hands folded in front of him again as you hear the coffee machine start to pour out his drink.

"well, what exactly did you do wrong?" with surprisingly no hesitance, mike goes on to tell the story of how sure he was about this recipe he'd seen in a catalogue, going above and beyond to make sure this "stupid thing" (his words) came out right. little did he know leaving his creation unattended for even a second would result in smoke pouring out of the oven and having to throw out a charred-black pastry; "and then abby went and acted like we could just go and do it all over again and.." mike starts, hands waving around uncharacteristically as he finished off his story. he caught the way you were trying to hold back a laugh, fingers pressed to your lips that were etched into a small smile. "it's ok, you can laugh all you want. i never tried doing it again." you can't help the laugh that leaves you once he gives you his full permission, still trying to keep your voice down. "i-i'm sorry, really.." you giggle once you've calmed down, rubbing your hands over your face before you start to walk around the counter to where mike is sitting. "but that's not how making a pie works. you can't just leave it like that or give up on the process that easily."

mike makes a face that says 'i'm listening', shrugging his shoulders when you sit on the stool next to him. "making a pie is like.." you start with a sigh, hands propping up your chin in thought as you look up at the clock. "you just know when some things feel right. if something is too much or too little, whether you need to start again or not. lord knows i've had to redo entire pies because the crust wasn't flaky enough or the filling didn't taste like apples enough." you say, chuckling a bit as you remember all the times you'd slaved away for almost entire days trying to nail down the perfect home recipe. you take a minute to think again, sitting back a bit as you smooth down your apron tied around your waist. "and it also doesn't help if you make something just to make something. when you bake or just cook a plain old steak, you have to make it like you're crafting a story or making a song. all of my best meals were made with someone or something in mind."

your cheeks go red again when you realize the very unprompted ramble you went on, a nervous laugh leaving you as you look down at your lap. "sorry, you totally don't have to-" "no, no, i-" the two of you jump a bit at the way you both try to speak first, sheepish smiles tugging at your lips before you go quiet again. the bell above the door jingles and you don't have to look up to know the two of you are alone now. "i like hearing about that sort of stuff. i really only hear about it when i'm here with you and it's..nice. different." your heart soars and you can only hope that mike can't somehow feel or hear it, trying to give him a warm smile without saying something you'll regret. you get up from your seat with a when he checks his watch, knowing that's code for 'i need to go' even before he stands. you're almost sure he'll leave without saying anything which you are simultaneously grateful for and hoped he wouldn't do, already busying yourself with some other menial task. "hey."

you look up almost as soon as he speaks, seeing the smile tugging at his lips and not able to contain your own. "save those leftovers for me. i hope it still tastes like you were trying to make it for me when i get back." he says, a smug look in his eyes as your lips part a bit in shock. you try to call out to him before he jogs out to his car, taking off accordingly.

-> ta da its done! :D <-

this was honestly less romantic than i wanted it to be but i promise that my brain is racked with thoughts of him literally EVERY DAY so mayhaps i can write something else that's more up to par one of these days

but thank yall for reading! :D i haven't been able to pump out a oneshot like this for a while and it felt good to write something longer than a couple of paragraphs, i have missed this account sm 🐺💗 love yall and i hope that you all are having a fantastic day!

#mike schmidt #mike schmidt fanfic #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt x you #fnaf #oneshot #x reader #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #josh hutcherson #michael schmidt x reader #fnaf x reader #fnaf x you

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lysol1201 · 4 months

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Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving: Holding Out For A Hero

Vendetta!Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader (can be read platonically or romantically)

A second part to Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving, but can be read on its own.

Summary: You see Leon again, but you’re both on the clock.

Word Count: 1201

Genre: erm idk fluff i guess, depending on how you read it

TW: Mentions of drinking, cults, blood, erm fighting, badly written fighting, this is very poorly written imo. i’m tryna get back in the writing groove. anyway, lmk if more, not beta read we die like luis

++++

It had been 6 months since your 30th birthday. You had never heard from Leon since that day. Although a good time, the two of you went your separate ways (play separate ways) without any contact information. There was that mutual understanding that it was the one night you two needed. You didn’t know if you’d ever see Leon again.

Well, until you did.

“Oh, hey!” You greeted the blue eyed man who looked at you in shock and confusion. “Nice to see you again,” You smiled as he ran over to you.

“What the fuck is going on?” Leon shouted. You may have been used to it, but seeing you tied up in a sack with a bloody face and ritual paintings all over, he was very fucking confused.

You chuckled. “How else did you think you found this location?” That’s when it clicked in Leon’s head. Bait. “Oh, they’re coming. You don’t know me,” You spoke with a serious tone, and before he could respond, you began to scream. “Who are you? What are you doing? Get away from me!”

In shock, Leon looked at you as if not sure how to play along. “Fuck,” He muttered under his breath, turning around to find more fucked up people in some sort of cult. He thought he was over it, but turns out the world refused to stop being stupid.

He had his pistol in hand and prepared, raising it up to shoot those who ran at him. While he shot, ducked, and kicked, he realized the amount of those after him just kept growing and growing. He turned around to find you, but to his dismay, you were gone.

Leon wanted to shout for you, but remembered what you had said. “You don’t know me.” He groaned at the words you had told him, but obeyed. He didn’t shout for you. And before he could complain to himself even more, big stomps were heard. He turned to the side, and there he was faced, again, with some giant pain in the ass.

“God, give me a fucking break,” Leon sighed, frustrated, and annoyed by his surroundings. Fear no longer filled him, it was just irritation. “Fuck off, already!” He raised his deep voice, shooting at the large creature headed straight for him, somehow managing to successfully use whoever tried to attack him as some sort of shield for everything thrown at him.

While Leon fought, he looked down quickly at his watch. 11:58 pm. “God fucking damnit Chris, hurry your ass up.” He grumbled, regretting ever choosing to help Chris with this mission. Or, maybe he didn’t.

He saw you again.

Wait a minute. Speaking of you, where the fuck were you?

As soon as that thought popped into his head, a grenade was thrown into the crowd that went after him, blowing up a good chunk of those who were just trying to kill him. Then, right after, something was thrown right at the giant creature. It stuck.

“Leon, run!” He heard the familiar voice. Yours.

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Leon shouted back, immediately turning around and running before the large explosive went off, tearing the creature to bits, throwing Leon across the platform from the force. The world was hazy for a moment as he tried to keep consciousness, but from the amount of times he had been thrown, he was hard headed.

Soon enough, an arm forcefully lifted him up. “No sleeping on the job, Leon.” The gruff man spoke. Leon felt his senses return, as he turned to face Chris.

“Where are they?” Were the first words Leon mumbled.

Chris furrowed his eyes, opening his mouth to respond, before he was interrupted. “Right here,” Your voice boomed through behind him.

His head quickly quipped back to view you as he called out for you, rushing to tackle you in a hug. “Where the fuck did you go?” Leon asked. His tone couldn’t show if he was worried or pissed, but you could tell it was a bit of both.

“I’ve been to this rodeo before, Leon, you just gotta trust me.”

“You know them?” Chris approached the two, confused, and almost concerned by Leon actually hugging someone.

Leon had let go of you to turn to face Chris. “You know them?” He emphasized the question, directing it back to Chris.

“They’re working on this case with us,” Chris explained, the “us” referring to the BSAA. He walked past Leon and went straight to you. “Do you have it?”

You scoffed. “Of course I do,” You proudly assured, taking a small chip out of your pocket and handing it to Chris. “Should have all the information you need on whoever the guy is you’re after, whatshisname. Josh. Let’s call him Josh.”

“No. Not Josh.”

“But-“

“Another name.”

“Fine… um… Paul.”

Chris only groaned, changing the topic. “Since this area is cleared out, let’s get back to safety. Need to get you two patched up before me and Leon enter the main building.” Chris explained.

“Wait,” Leon quickly turned to Chris. “What about them?”

“Their job is done, they can get patched up and go-“

“No,” Leon blurted out. He wasn’t entirely sure why. “I mean, I just... I…” He tried to find the words. To find the words that wouldn’t embarrass him, make him look like a pathetic fool.

I don’t want them to go. He thought.

You just smiled a bit at him, turning around to walk away. Then, he panicked. “Wait- don’t leave!” He walked over, grabbing your arm to keep you from walking away.

“Woah,” You turned to face Leon. “I’m not leaving?”

Ada. He thought to himself. I can’t let them leave… not like Ada. Not again.

“I- um-“ Suddenly, he felt embarrassed. You’re not Ada. “Nothing, I don’t-“

You could tell something was bothering him. That turmoil in his head that you had seen before in the countless random drunk conversations you two had months ago. You knew when it was time to derail the conversation. “I’ll be getting patched up, and I’m going to be looking out. I finished my job, I’m no longer bait. So, now, I’m just a backup distraction, if need be.” You explained. “So, team, are we ready to party?”

++++

Leon didn’t know how to feel after the mission, on the ride back to safety. He didn’t know how to feel about seeing you battered and bruised, talking to a more battered and bruised Chris. It wasn’t jealousy, no. Of course not. Unless?

“Hey, Leon?” Your voice snapped him out of his trance. “When’s your birthday?”

“What?”

“Well, it’s been 6 months since mine. Yours has to be soon, right?”

You were right. His birthday was soon. He’d be 38. “Yeah.” He spoke, letting you know his birthday. Yet, he said it so solemnly.

“Hey, don’t worry. We can go drinking again if you like. And look, you’re still in your 30’s,” You smiled at him, pushing him with a playful punch.

Leon scoffed with amusement. “Yeah.”

“Thirty, flirty, and thriving, right?”

He smiled.

“Thirty, flirty, and thriving.”

Leon chose not to drink that year. That time, he had something worth remembering.

You.

#resident evil #leon kennedy #resident evil vendetta #resident evil vendetta leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil x reader #resident evil leon kennedy

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jvblood · 2 years

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the delivery guy

pairing: argyle x afab reader

word count: 1.8k

summary: you wanted to give argyle a tip for delivering the pizza on time.

WARNINGS: SMUT (18+ minor dni), blowjobs (M receiving), pwp, slight dom reader?? idk it was just a feeling really

a/n: someone messaged in the ask box for this, saw it 8 am started this at 11 am and it's currently 5 pm for me so. PRACTICE SAFE SEX, also this gif got me rolling

It was a Saturday night and your parents left you home alone. They were going to a concert where the audience was obviously 30 and up. They knew you could take care of yourself anyways, you’re 18 and college starts in a couple of months. Though, they did know you couldn’t cook, so they left about twenty dollars for food. You could really get anything you wanted delivered to you but you’re already settled on one thing right now.

You pick up the phone and start dialing Surfer Boy Pizza. You’ve seen the delivery boy around at school, considering he always had the company van with him. That in itself confirms that he would be delivering it to you. He was always nice to you when you guys had an encounter but tonight something stirred in your mind that wanted him more. You said your order through the phone and waited for the pie to come on its way.

The slogan for the pizza shop was something about getting here in 30 minutes or less. Well, let’s see how quickly you can put something on that’s a little bit promiscuous. You head to your room and try to doll yourself up a bit. But it’s just a guy, you don’t want to seem like you were prepared for this. A pair of simple sleep shorts and a tank top that was cut just right to give enough cleavage. Perfect. You finish the look by tying up your loose hair to expose more of your chest and wait.

____________________

They weren’t kidding when they said that it was 30 minutes or under. You were just about to watch a rerun of Family Ties when you heard the knock on the door. You jumped off the couch a bit too quickly than you’d like to admit and rushed for the door. You opened the door and saw the guy you were just hoping for. His long hair swayed as he was looking at the address, hoping he had the right address. Then he turns his focus to you. He was just staring for a bit while holding the pizza in his hands. You glanced to check his name tag: Argyle.

“Hey, “ Argyle stutters, “ it’ll be $6.98” You nod realizing that you do not have the money on you right now. You told him you’ll be right back to get it and leave the door open. Argyle watches you from behind staring very hard. He knew he was being a creep and honestly he could not stop. He wanted to know more about you but something flips in his own mind where he stops functioning.

You come back to the open door with the money in hand, exact change. Thinking hard about this on the couch, you knew you wanted to give him a tip. You hand him the money and take the pizza box. Argyle just stands there starstruck. He didn’t seem like leaving anytime soon, so why not try to give that tip now.

“Argyle, I was wondering if you’d like to get a tip?” You purr. You wanted him and something in the back of your head thinks that he wants you just as badly. He gulps and nods enthusiastically. You put the pizza in one hand while the other hand grabs his, guiding him to enter the house. Argyle closes the door behind him and stares at your figure walking towards the kitchen. Argyle awkwardly stands in the middle of the living room waiting for your return, not knowing what he’s supposed to do.

“Argyle,” you say as you make your way back to him “ I think I’m hungry for something else.” You’re hugging his arm at this point, your breasts tease him as he could feel you not wearing anything underneath the tank top. Argyle could feel his heart beating against his chest as you start to look up at him. His dick straining his pants with the thought of you. He couldn’t believe someone like you would go for a delivery guy like him.

“What do you mean, bro?” Argyle stammered. You prepared for the night's endeavor by leaving a condom on the living room table. Argyle was able to find it quickly and he could feel himself getting harder, twitching underneath his pants.

“Argyle, I want you.” You say as you slowly sink to your knees. Your eyes never left him as you went down. You bite your lips and look ahead of you with your face leveled to his cock.

“Do you want me?” You say leaving your hands in your lap. You refuse to touch him without hearing it come out his mouth first. He nods, he can’t seem to find the words to say what he wants right now. That wasn’t enough for you.

“Your eyes are saying yes, now I just need your mouth to tell me the same.” You bat your eyelashes up at him and Argyle nodded yet again. He shook his head, reminding himself that he needed to speak.

“Yes! Yes, I mean, I want you too.” He exclaimed. You never knew you could have this effect on someone and it’s addicting.

“Is it okay if I can touch you now?”

“Of course, dude.” You roll your eyes and grin, ready for your fun.

You unbutton his pants and slowly pull down on it as well as his underwear too. Argyle was thicker than you thought he would be. You slow start to stroke his semi, wanting him to get stiffer. Argyle moans sweetly as you dribble a bit of spit down the shaft of him. You continued to stroke him and could see his knees starting to buckle a bit.

“Take a seat, babe.” You say as you let go, wanting him to get more comfortable. Rest in peace to the couch. Your parents will understand, right? Argyle on the other hand gladly sat down on it, legs spread so you could fit yourself in between. You continue to kiss along his length, holding him in place for you to do so. Argyle tosses his head back in pleasure. You lick a long strip against erection. Finally deciding it was time to talk him all in.

You steady yourself before you begin swallowing his dick, all the while looking at him. Argyle’s eyebrows furrowed watching you take him in your mouth. You bob your head up and down as much as you could and stroke what you couldn’t with one hand. With your other hand, you start to play with yourself, feeling how wet you get from just sucking him off.

“Oh, fuck, that feels good.” He moans out. Gently, he places his hand on top of your head. He clenches his eyes shut as you continue to stroke him faster with the unoccupied hand. A loud pop echoes through the living room as you take him out of your mouth, beginning to stroke him, letting your jaw take a break.

“I need it now.” You say as you pull your off of him leaving him aching, while you bring your fingers that you were playing with, up to his mouth. Before he could understand what happened, he started sucking off the juices on your fingers. You moan out, feeling him swirl his tongue around your digits and straddle him. Argyle swore he was harder than rocks itself.

Your mind high on him, you quickly grabbed the condom and tore it for him. While he put the rubber on, you quickly pulled down your shorts, revealing your pantieless cunt waiting for him. Argyle slapped his erection on your ass and you smirked holding onto him. You both look into eachothers eyes before you both lean in kissing. It was hot and steamy, you could practically feel the need of each other. He swipes his tongue in the kiss and greedily, you took his tongue in your mouth. You pushed his hair out of the way trying to deepen the kiss.

While shamelessly sucking each other's faces off, you grab Argyle’s dick and line it up to your cunt. You slowly sank down onto his length and the two of you gasped at the feeling. Argyle was a lot thicker than you’re used to so you wait a bit for the pain to go away.

“Are you okay?” He questions, wanting to make sure everything is fine before you continue on. You nod, wincing a bit but you knew you could do it.

“I need you to say it.” He says while holding onto your waist. Argyle pushes the loose hair from your face making it easier for him to look at you and tucks it behind your ear.

“I’m okay.” You say as you fully take him in. You gasp as it fits perfectly inside you. Argyle’s tugs on the tank top you wore and takes one of your breasts in his mouth. Licking and swirling along the bud. You slowly begin to bounce on him. The pleasure from core and him sucking on your breast makes you shut your eyes in pleasure. A moan leaves your lips and Argyle swore that it was his favorite noise ever. He slowly began rutting his hips as you bounced onto him as well. The feeling of you surrounding him was intoxicating.

“Does that feel good baby?” You coo as you caress his face. He tugs on your nipple with his mouth looking up at you and nods a ‘yes’. His eyes soften when they meet yours. He takes the other breast in his hand, pinching your nipple and playing with it. Your bouncing becomes labored as you feel yourself getting close. Argyle took the hint and began to control. He started slowly, gaining a rhythm of thrusting inside of you. He watches your breasts bounce as he thrusts inside you.

“Faster, please.” You beg. He wrapped his arms around your waist and began thrusting quicker. The sound of skin slapping filled the living room, you feel yourself getting closer. So did Argyle, he feels you clenching around him, this only caused him to go a bit harsher. Argyle begins kissing on your neck, licking and nibbling on the skin that’s showing.

“I’m gonna cum!” You exclaim as Argyle’s rhythm never falters, at this point he’s thrusting rapidly into you. The room's temperature got even hotter as he was slamming into you. You bounced at each thrust Argyle gave and his grip around your waist was surely going to leave a mark.

“Fuck, me too.” He moans. You could feel his hips beginning to shake as he confessed. You started bouncing on him again as he continued to thrust. Both of you want to reach your respective highs. Argyle meets his first. He ruts his hips into you, slamming his length over and over, milking out every last drop. You meet yours quickly after he begins slamming himself in over and over. You could feel his dick throbbing inside you as he was cumming. The two of you just hold each other as you get off of your respective highs.

Argyle knew he was about to get fired with the way he didn’t come back to the shop, but how could he when he was getting a generous tip?

#argyle stranger things #argyle x reader #argyle smut #argyle #stranger things 4 #argyle fan fic #argyle fan fiction #argyle x reader smut #jvblood #stranger things argyle

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lintroller777 · 1 month

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EOD Sunday April 7, 2024. 11:24 pm.

First I wanna say thank you to my mutuals that are tagging me in fun repost things (idk what else to call them lol) !! I'm sorry that I haven't participating in them, I'm super busy and the only time I'm really on here is when I wind down and make an EOD post </3

This weekend was so packed, I feel like I haven't been on in so long (its been 2 days ☠).

Today I ⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡

went to church

worked

drove back to campus

finished chem hw

finished chem quiz

finished chem prelab, worked on post lab

Forest 🌱‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ 1h 53min

ฅ^._.^ฅฅ^._.^ฅฅ^._.^ฅฅ^._.^ฅฅ^._.^ฅ

___ of the day

Song ✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ HOT TO GO!- Chappell Roan

Moment *♡∞:｡.｡LEAVING work

Food ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ pasta with meat sauce and mushrooms

⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆ ˚

The solar eclipse passes through my area (like 3/4 ish) tomorrow which would be super cool to see if I didn't have chem lab during it... not to mention that the weather is predicting clouds and rain during that time too sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😭

Hoping I don't slack this week, I'm slowly understanding calc more and this is my last week where I won't have an exam (for any class). So literally for the next 4 weeks (after this one) I have to take the last midterms for my stem classes immediately followed by finals for all my classes AAAAAAAAAAAGHGHHGAHAGD JGSGJDHJSGSG

#study blog #study motivation #studyblr #studyspo #college #student #study #biology #stemblr

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raincamp · 6 months

Text

11 03 2023

discovering that i experience pathological demand avoidance / pervasive drive for autonomy (PDA) as a symptom of my autism has been fucking life changing.

i spent all these fucking years feeling so helpless, my parents telling me that im lazy, feeling like a failure because i couldnt even graduate highschool. i didnt understand how everyone else could just sit back and waste their entire lives at the demand of someone else. how they could work 40+ hours a week and not come home so exhausted that they can't even find time to take care of themselves.

i couldn't find a justifiable reason why i was physically unable to do what everyone else has been able to "just suck it up" and suffer through. working full time, being at school full time, it was all enough to make me lose sight of why i was even alive. enough to make me have mental crises. enough that i ended up in the hospital several times.

but idk, im fine when i have control over my schedule. i was thriving during COVID when school was no longer a thing i was forced to do, but something i got to choose to do. nobody was making me sit in a building for 6 hours bored out of my mind. i got autonomy over my schedule, over my life, and i genuinely haven't been able to recreate the feeling of freedom it gave me since.

and when i was forced to go to school again, despite how easy it was, despite the fact that i barely had to do anything, the mere idea of having to sit in a classroom against my will made me burn with such rage that i made it so that i had autonomy over it. i would only come to classes i wanted to go to, which meant going to school three hours late and walking out when the class was over.

now obviously thats not how highschool works so i had to drop out. after a lovely (/s) visit to the psych ward my parents stopped giving a fuck. but then it was my choice to get a diploma/GED which i had zero problem doing, i was happy to do it even. why didnt i just sit through the last 6 months of school instead? idk, to me it felt like fucking torture.

i still feel that way, working full time. working part time even. i hate it because i want nothing more than to enjoy having a career like everyone else can. to be able to have a life outside of work, a fulfilling one even. ive never been able to do that. and it saddens me. why is it that everyone around me can find happiness in working their entire lives away but not me? why do i come home everyday wanting to die? why am i the only one who sees it as an injustice that my entire life is going to be spent at the whims of someone else's demands?

i burn with helplessness and anger and pain at the mere thought. but still i suffer through as many months as i can handle at jobs until i have enough money to last me a couple months of freedom. even though i have to sacrifice my mental stability for it. even though it means hospital visits and alcohol dependency and suicide attempts.

a perfect life for me doesn't include not working though, not working feels unfulfilling, i want to make a living for myself. i want to be financially independent. i dont even mind working 8 hours a day if i got to choose my schedule. if i could wake up one day and say "nah ill wait till 2 pm to start work today" or could start work at 7 am when i wanted, take as many days off as i wanted, which honestly wouldn't be a whole lot because i find value in productivity.

its the fact that i have to follow the demands of someone else that sucks the life out of me.

and now that i have this knowledge i can learn how to use it to accommodate my struggles instead of feeling like a fuck up

- andrew

#pda #tumblr diary #im not mentally stable #mental health awareness #capitalism #pathological demand avoidance #pervasive drive for autonomy #highschool dropout #autism #actually autistic

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dailyharuka · 3 months

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Welcome to Haruka Kiritani Everyday!!!

from the name i hope you can guess what i will actually do here...

anyways hihi!! i think haruka kiritani is so cool and you should totally follow if you like haruka kiritani from the hit game project sekai because she is so cool and like super cool and uh shes cool!!!

i might sit and yap about her, spam card photos, drop trivia, maybe even doodles... in short there will be haruka kiritani content on this

I try to post around 12 pm EST but on occasion i may post at 12 am or 4 am... or 11 pm... but in my defense WHAT THE HECK IS A SLEEP SCHEDULE

also feel free to throw whatever you want in the ask/submission box!!! you can ask questions, give doodle requests, drop fun facts... whatever else people do with that cuz tbh idk!!! woohoo!!!! hope you like the blog!!

Tag explanations

#dailyharuka the daily posts have Day [number] in the title. I cap at 10 posts per day to avoid spending too much time looking through Haruka photos (which is why I use 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, etc. rather than 1.01 or a different variant)

#notharuka posts that don’t relate directly to Haruka. Might be asks, reblogs, and other account related activities. Or it might not! Who knows (i dont!)

#dailyhrkasks stuff from the ask box

#dailyhrkreblogs THESE ARE GOING TO BE REBLOGS BECAUSE I DONT LIKE NOT HAVING TAGS FOR SPECIFIC REBLOGS (feel free to mute cuz i might just be talking to people)

#dailyhrkdoodles this post includes a drawing (that i made) of Haruka. These may be notebook sketches to fully rendered art.

#dailyhrkspeaks me yapping

#dailypurpled hate me fighting (or regular talking) with daily purpled :3 (feel free to mute this one cuz its just gonna be silly)

Btw if I post something and you want to know where it came from pls feel free to ask!!

#pjsk #pjsk haruka #haruka kiritani #kiritani haruka #lets see if i can actually do this everyday....#notharuka

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leclerced · 5 months

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before i head to bed—i absolutely agree. i think with max heavily involved for the rbr!driver au, lestappen would fit and then for the ferrari driver!au it strictly just charles. also a name would work perfectly to tell the difference! I sorta like Bones as a name (chosen name) but name is up for discussion! but me thinks having such an unique name would help, also because Bones sounds so like deathly and like somebody you'd associate with goth/emo group but then this happy wild card driver is bouncing around talking anybody's ear off is HYSTERICAL to me.

Also LESTAPPEN RIVALRY YES PLEAAAASE.

(imma stick with Bones for the time being as the name): Like Bones genuinely is confused when Max is so upset and pissy that she got with charles because yeah they hate each other but bones is like ‘?? we’re not fucking?? why are you so pissed???’ But Bones being a little shit i would die for. Bones just happily lets him take a picture and send it to charles and is actually excited to see the outcome because hello, two of the most popular drivers are like fighting over her. she’s allowed a bit of an inflated ego with that. she’s so happy-go-lucky, sunshine, always sweet & caring (unless charles but even still) to the public so nobody in a million years would expect her to be a little shit and sorts fueling a fire like this. especially when charles texts her asking what the fuck are those hickies on her thighs and demanding answers from max because ‘thought you guys weren’t fucking?? what changed??’ and probably making it his mission to not only get back at max but make sure bones remembers who they fucked first

and hell, to really add fuel, she’d probably wear a skirt with knee highs that are just a bit too big on her so she’s gotta have garter belts on to keep them up but part of the hickies are showing and she’s just “lalala” and maybe some people are bold enough to ask but she shrugs it off like “nothing! don’t worry bout silly clumsy me!” but she knows max and charles knows exactly what they are.

this fire is rapidly spreading between the two and bones just somehow in the middle but also on the sidelines roasting marshmallows straight vibing because they’re secretly a little shit who likes chaos and like maybe i’ve already thought of bones history which involves a really shitty ex and this is the first time they’ve felt wanted by anybody, let alone two guys like max and charles soooo.

if you’ll allow, i can ramble bout bones history tomorrow >:) also when i get around to forcing myself to update my blog (the thought tires me out LMAO) and really flesh this out, would you be down to be tagged in the post since we’ve been rambling nonstop bout it? 👀👀-🐈‍⬛

omg hi sorry i didnt answer this last night i finished baking at 11 pm n passed out 🥺

im not a big fan of the nickname bones bc i have watched the show bones a million times and it makes me think of decaying bodies so .. tbh its a turn off.

u can tell me ur idea ab her histroy but i have an idea ab it too but its opposite kinda ! i kinda want her to be someone who never committed to anyone, she fully committed to racing and never dated because media already spoke so much about her love life. idk what other countries are like but i can totally imagine her being american and it’s prom season so all her friends back home are getting asked to the dance, going dress shopping, and she’s on the other side of the world in a racing championship. interviewers keep asking her if she’s sad about missing out on prom and all crossing the stage for her high school graduation, and she’s just like “well considering i’m currently first in a fight for the f3 championship, i’d certainly rather be here fighting for this trophy than a prom queen sash.” very independent and always shoots down questions about her love life and is like “i don’t hear you asking anyone else that, why are you asking me?” or completely ignoring them until someone’s like “hey they asked you a question.” she just shrugs and says, “i’ve already said i’m not going to answer questions about my personal life. ask me about the race, or the car.”

maybe was fwb with a driver from another team in the past or even a past teammate so it’s kind of a comfortable dynamic to fall into with charles and max. she loves the chaos. she def loved pitting them against each other before the whole hickey fiasco, but when she fucks max and he leaves those hickeys on her thighs, it only gets worse. i can imagine if they’re in the same hotel charles could come banging on max’s door.

#ask #🐈‍⬛ anon #also yes tag me!

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pastelearthling65 · 1 month

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Hi hi! I’m Melatonin it’s nice to meet you! (Sorry for bad English^^)

Could you possibly do a Cgs Pomni and Ragatha x (baby Space) Agere fem reader?

Here’s the plot

Basically the reader has been fussy all day long

(Idk what else to put I’m sorry😭)

And if it could include:paci padding(diaper) bottle and stuffys that would be great!

Also the reader loves pastel pink and is very sensitive a big cry baby

If you need more details or anything just ask^^

-Melatonin💉💘

Yeah ofc :) just let me di it tomorrow bc the time im writing this its 11:11 pm

#i need therapy #the amazing digital circus #age regression #tdac agere #sfw agere

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thetruthlsoutthere · 7 months

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Weirdness around Oct. 24th, 2021

this was a message i made to someone, a friend in this belief, on this day, around the afternoon after 4 pm. click on the read more link because it's long. This was my half of a conversation with someone so only focus on that, okay? okay.

::::: i have always felt it strongly, espeially more since that point and its flaring up really bad right now like intense. im trying to calm my breathing but i have to tell you. i am freaked out O_o

first off, my senses: my hearing is so freakily good - like based on whatever sound , even if it's talking, regardless of volume but especially if its to the point of under someones breath or whispering, i can hear it perfectly as if they are right next to me. thats the hearing . its always been like that

the sight: its like i almost dont even need my glasses anymore because given a 10 rating, my sight is more than that or exactly that and my glasses help better but its like i could be without them now and i can see everything with freakishly good clarity

the touch: i mean, plain and simple, down to perfection, thats an obvious

taste: same thing

feeling: thats the same as touch and taste but its like similarily , it feels more intense for me, everything/ living like you feel it normally as a human but its like idk, i dont know how to explain. it scared tf out of me

i was looking through one of the "Doctor Who' books i have, and i cant begin to express how much i felt a homesickness, sense of loss and pain and feeling of deja vu at the pictures it showed of Gallifrey, other places, the Tardis, other alien species and felt like i was home, like i had been there, like i had been among these species of aliens

im always watching and looking for anything strange, especially with close perimeter of where i live and im almost waiting for that door thing to happen again bc i still hear things outside and the strange lights in the sky, one in particular that feels like it could not be a star among any of them. the weird lights that are definitely not stars and the way theyd act, the movement, hearing things and the wierd lights on ground level like something among the trees, the animals sensing and even the baby sensing things in and outside the home that no one, even me, can see

references to Gallifrey, timelords and ladies, time and space, traveling, the Doctor, the Master, popping out everywhere, the name Clara too, same thing with 'ravens', the silent calls too have been constant lately. lets not even get started on my dreams and the meanings they seem to be sending

and from the begininning to now still: the sense of its like there is a home here, but i dont know how else other to describe it in a sense that like an object, youre here among it all so in a snese you are home but your NOT home because this isnt your home, this isnt your origin. I feel so disconnected / disassociated, like I'm here but I'm not really here. A sense of loss and feeling like there is something huge missing, because if this was truly a home HOME then i wouldn't feel like what really is, isn't here. Im trying to explain it a best version possible

countless of times, i look at this human family of mine and i think : yes that's my mom or my sister or my nephew or my brothers but its like thinking from their perspective and how they'd see me in comparison from me to them, there is a sense of difference that comes with that if only they knew, or that disconnection

the sense of what life might really be and the answers known and unknown , how it will affect my future and what they would find out and have to accept and deal with? that alone is just -

the reptitive numbers have been constant with 222, 111 or 11:11, or 1:11, 333, 444, 555, 777, 12:12, 10:10, etc. and that whole thing where my chest seems sensitive and more weird, i felt my chest, and i could have sworn by everything in me, that i felt a second heart. i know the placement of where the human heart is in the body and so based on where the second heart could be put, i felt the beats of it

and seemingly all around, i COULD be human but to experience everything i have and do, points to that i may be right now or , am put into a state where it will seem like that but im not and that i cant eveen begin to explain as to how that would make sense to another person's brain

and of course, i am never going to claim that i know every single little thing of information in the known and unknown parts of the entire universe but i feel like human or not, my knowledge over a lot is getting better and many a times, people have come to me to learn and know things and get advice and i have been seeing the shadows again and mention of the Darkness.

hearing of weird and strange things/inhuman things through music with other normal things that don't make sense to be added together because they don't relate. among the various incarnations that the Doctor and Master, and other timelords/ladies have - i seem lately to have gotten specific incarnations of them popping out to me

i feel like i know who i am, who i could be, what its seeming to be like i could be or definitely am, but at the same time, i am feeling such a loss of identity yet because of the definite and possibilities and the possibilities that seem more likely than the rest, i feel like i know more than i ever did because you know more as time passes obviously

but i want to get this out so i can finally tell you and you can read it all and respond to each accordingly. i hope so badly im not alone in this. there is more to tell but i am so freaked out at how strong and intense of a flaring feeling i am getting of it

like i am literally in transit, in a half way point phase where i am neither here or there. Like a waiting period at the point of change but that thing to fully ram into it and have it skyball has just not ha[need yet

like im home here on Earth but i am not really HOME

I also have heard weird noises and seen split second weird flashes in the sky as well as the sound of aircraft but when i look in the sky, even among the clouds or lack therof any , I see nothing so maybe there is the ability aboard the c raft or whatever causing those noises to be able to hide themselves so no one can see them

people, even strangers staring at me in ways like there is something off or something drawing them to me and they are waiting for something

there are times, which isnt a new feeling but seems to have increased lately as well, is how when i speak, its not of someone my age for the most part and i will speak as if i am not from here like I'm waiting for something, or on the move , or wanting to go home. I even have said to my family that my home is among the stars but they brush it off as silly or me being a weirdo dork.

dont even get me started on how strong the feeling is , is that whenever i see my gallifreyan fob watch necklace and knowing its a fake, my mind goes to the real one which gives me the feeling of not wanting the fake and feeling a want, need and urgency to find the real one

my sister had even asked me , if i was happy here: i said yes because i am but in this weird, strange, unexplainable / ufo/aliens / paranormal, etc. life, i feel a happiness and a sense of peace and home i don't elsewhere. You can have a home like feeling for more than one place obviously

its not like i dont love, care for and appreciate everything in this normal life as well as strange life because i do equally, I'm just acknowledging what i think, know and feel about this life too

and im never going to lie about what i feel because the truth cant be shied away from no matter how hard one tries; trying to make sense of who or what i am makes sense as to why i and even you can answer some questions but not all bc we might have what could be any memories back but if any of those are even memories then we obviously don't have all back

______________________________________________________________

Make of this what you will.

#old experiences #weird things #the truth is out there #doctor who is real #the doctor is real #i believe in the doctor #searching for the doctor #project hello sweetie #the darkness #the master #clara oswald #clara the impossible girl #gallifrey

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germini-girl · 8 months

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Just 11:44 Pm thought

Suddenly after approximately 1 year later I realised, I haven't move on from my ex boyfriend. Obviously can't disclose his name so let him be Xavier.

I just keep asking my self some bunch of questions regarding him!!!!!

Was anything were there from his side to ? Or it was just me who loved him so madly like after 2 years of breakup, I am still on the same page.

Then looking first chapter of my book 📚 , it was me who fell first and also who confessed my feelings for him!! Just read the best part now i.e. how my confession went.😂

I told him that I LOVE YOU not LIKED its LOVE, he replied okay. Nothing else. Like then i was so blanked IDK what to say anything more. So we just kept talking and at the end of call he said , it really nice that you understood your feelings but IDK what i feels for you. I was so fucking heartbroken at that time I decided that I will not talk to him anymore its a dead-end for me bla bla just some negative thoughts obviously....

But on the next again again i was talking to him 🤣 Because its not about self respect, it was about my feelings 😔

And now I am on that page where I GUESS i forced him to feel for me by talking to him on daily basis....🤌

#Heartbroken #sad thoughts #raw data feel #real story #me and me #confused

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birdmenmanga · 2 years

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10 People You Want to Know Better

Tagged by @hexfloog as well as @rainyfox3!! Thank you guys for the tag and sorry to rainy for the slight delay LMAO

---

Relationship status: Well... not taken by anyone, per se... but certainly there are people I'm taken with

Favorite colors: black white gray red <3 I want to cite scp for this but maybe it was birdmen after all

Favorite foods: oh... something salty for sure... red wine beef stew, maybe?

Song stuck in my head: Daisy - Zedd ft. Julia Michaels. this one's basically been on loop since Gary sent it to me. reishi song of all time btw. if you even care

Last thing you googled: water tank (images)

Time: 11:47 PM

Dream trip: Augh travelling is kind of a pain isn't it?? Planning a good trip and everything... that's pretty exhausting and I start wanting to draw after an unreasonably short time. I think I'd just like to go and meet my besties again... go up to NYC to see Fires, back to Florida to bump noses with everybody still there, visit Gary on the way, and then to wherever Emery is, whether that's Kentucky or Illinois or somewhere else. maybe hit boston since I've got a couple bosties (boston besties), and at one point california was on my hit list but not anymore, I don't think

Last thing you read: ?? Discord messages, probably?

Last book you enjoyed reading: lol! BIRDMEN. if we have to count text-only books, I suppose it's Kitchen (Banana Yoshimoto)

Favorite thing to cook/bake: oh... mushroom risotto maybe? Miso soup!! Mushroom soup...

Favorite craft to do in your free time: Huh... I haven't done this in a while, but since I don't consider drawing a craft, maybe Chinese calligraphy...?

Most niche dislike: The equalizer in Audacity. the first audio editing program I used was garageband, and that let you mess with the equalizer WHILE the audio track was playing so it made it more clear what you were actually changing. Whereas in Audacity it just plays you the same 5 second clip, which might not even sample all the different sounds that are affected by the equalizer... And even the way you adjust the values on the equalizer just isn't as good. in garageband you have these nodes that you can drag around and it sort of affects all the frequencies in a natural and organic way. whereas Audacity's is all straight lines... well, it's a good thing I don't do too much audio editing (he says, clearly having done at least a decent amount of it)

Opinion on circuses: I've never been to one but I'm sure they exist

Do you have a sense of direction? yea

---

Tagging: @tangentiallly @jeepers-its-the-void @musichenni133 @midnight-revelation @ashe-is-here @hellishnotions @udurghsigil @desfraisespartout @kitsoa @blazinfox555

Wow usually I think I have trouble thinking of people to tag but there're definitely more people in my heart I want to know better. if I didn't tag you and you're like. idk. my birdmutual. well know that I'm looking at you with pleading eyes. and of course if you're busy with life there's really no pressure to play <3

#tag game #just thinking thoughts...#lol I promise I'm in the detco fandom I prommy I really do #it's just that I feel like most people who were tagged by rainy AND hex are dcmk folks #I'm trying to introduce diversity into the ecosystem or whatever! ! !

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skiasurveys · 1 year

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survey by xalikattx

FOOD

What is your favorite salad dressing?

Italian or Caesar idk it depends on the salad

Favorite sit-down restaurant?

Earls

Favorite pizza topping?

Chicken, mushrooms, peppers and onions

What food could you eat for two weeks straight and not get sick of it?

Bananas or peanut butter i feel

What do you put on your toast?

Peanut butter or jam

What food do you eat the most?

Maybe eggs

Do you like food?

Yes.

Do you LOVE food?

yes, i really do. its the only joy i feel LMAO.

Do you even eat at all?

…??

What do you put on your ice cream?

it depends. sometimes nothing, sometimes sprinkles and and choc sauce

Do you like steak?

omg yes

Or are you a vegetarian?

Nah

How about a vegan?

What food do you hate the most?

the only food I rly hate is spaghetti lol

TECHNOLOGY

How many TVs are in your house?

five

Do they all work?

yes

Do you have Comcast digital cable?

idk what that is lol

AT&T Uverse?

don't have that here

Dish Network?

No.

Something else?

Obviously. <-- same

What’s your favorite show?

breaking bad, this is us, and right now The Last of Us! I also like His Dark Materials.

What’s the worst show?

who knows, theres so many and I dont watch much tv or shows in general unless its something i see that has huge hype

What color cell phone do you have?

black

What kind?

iPhone 11 Pro Max

What does the first text message in your inbox say and who sent it?

im WAY too lazy to check

What was the last text you sent and who did you send it to?

"HELP" and to Krystal.

Who was the last person to call you?

My mom.

Who was the last person you called?

i think mom

CURRENTLY

Are you missing someone?

always

What are you listening to?

youtube video

Watching?

youtube video about 4chan lmfao

Worrying about?

nothing atm..

Where are you?

my bedroom

What’s it like there?

calm

How are you feeling?

sleepy

Is anyone with you? Who?

just my cat <3

Are you hungry?

nah

What do you want to eat?

Nothing atm, im pretty full.

Thirsty?

nah.

What do you want to drink?

Nothing atm.

What time is it?

9:37 PM

LASTS

Thing you ate?

a cinnamon roll

Thing you drank?

diet coke

Thing you said?

i dont remember hahah

Movie you watched?

i was watching we are heroes or something its caled

Store you went to? What did you buy?

Grocery store

Person you talked to?

my mom and sister

Person you hugged?

no idea

Kissed?

davis

Yelled at?

No idea, maybe my cat haha

Book you read?

The Stolen Heir by Holly Black

Thing you touched?

my cat

Person you became friends with on Facebook/Myspace/whatever other site?

i dont really remember, I think Melissa.

RANDOM

Are a righty or a lefty?

Righty.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?

a tooth

What is the last heavy object you lifted?

my desk

Have any scars?

yes

How did you get them? Any interesting stories?

I got hit by a car, some are from self harm, and my cat.

if it were possible, would you want to know the day you’re going to die?

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

sky or lucy

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?

maybe

How about 10 bottles of ketchup?

maybe idk

10 bottles of maple syrup?

A bottle of vinegar?

i would rather die.

10 jars of peanutbutter?

sure

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?

none

Favorite month?

september

Do you always answer your phone?

not always

It’s four AM and you get a text message, who is it?

probably Krystal

If you could change your eye color what would it be?

I wouldnt

Do you own a digital camera?

yes i do

Do you take lots of pictures of yourself?

I do but just for fun

Do you take them in front of the mirror in the bathroom?

sometimes

Have you ever had a pet fish?

I had some when I was young

Pet hamster?

when I was a kid

Bird?

Favorite Christmas movie?

I dont really have one

Favorite Christmas song?

christmas shoes

Can you do push ups?

like 2 hahahah

Can you do a chin up?

No I wish

Does the future make you nervous or excited?

Both.

Ever been in a car accident?

I got hit by a car

Do you have an accent?

canadian one I guess

What song always makes you cry?

somebody to love by queen

Have any plans for tonight?

Nah, maybe Ill game

What were you doing at 12 AM last night?

trying to sleep

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?

school

#surveys

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