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kookynella · 8 days

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So, I don’t normally write long posts and I thought this was important enough to type a rant, so you’re welcome, I guess:

I was reading a Sydney and Carmen is a slow burn article on Jezebel (they are my Roman Empire, I go down the rabbit hole willingly), and you know, it was clearly a SydCarmy shipping article, so readers were pre-warned by the title. I don’t know why I thought it would be a good idea to read the comment section, but YELP!

And yes, I was offended and outraged, because for what other possible reason would I then come onto tumblr at 6am in the morning to complain when my ADHD-ass should be asleep in bed?!? Well this is the reason.

The comments were all negative and trying to explain why SydxCarmy is a no-go or should be a no-go zone: Sydney & Carmen don’t have chemistry! I don’t see the romance! Romance between them would ruin a good show! Why can’t men and women coworkers be in a healthy platonic relationship! Me Too movement - say NO to boss employee romances! ClairexCarmy makes more sense!

Blah blah blah, [insert more pathetic, banal rationale here], I stopped reading the comments. The actual (cute) article I read with the shit-take comments is linked below, if anyone is interested.

… extended release rant is under the cut….

And really what they were NOT saying out loud, what I highly suspect to be the real reason for their negative stance: racial intolerance. So, here we are - I’m calling it out, as many others have before me: Some people refuse to see a strong, intelligent, woman of colour character have a romantic relationship with their white male lead on prime time television. They are in denial, they are not ready and frankly, not deserving. It’s intolerance.

Because for what other reason could there be for the outright denial of what is clear as day: the characters of Sydney and Carmy ARE romance coded in the story being told, and they (as played by Ayo and JAW) have amazing chemistry (romantic or not). Why else are people so quick to deny the chemistry? To deny the possibility, the opportunity, the overt displays and undertones of romantic coding that Sydney and Carmen have!?!?!

And I will also say this, it’s my opinion, that there is more chemistry between Sydney and Carmy than between Claire and Carmy, there is more emotion and expression in the former duo’s interactions than in the latter’s. And that’s part of the main point of having Claire there - she’s a tool, a distraction to compare and contrast of what is there and could be more/better (Sydney, the future), to what is there and is not fitting/insufficient (Claire, the past).

People really stay reaching with their non-creative excuses to being anti-SydCarmy. Give me an actual reason like, he needs to do a lot of therapy/personal work, she’s got her own baggage to sort out, before they could be in a healthy, emotionally stable relationship. Or if they went there and it didn’t work out and then work/business is impacted in the messiness. Give me actual arguments not made up ones because a black woman and a white man who are in fact compatible (not necessarily healthy), does not fit your aesthetic of romance, love, attraction and chemistry. I see plenty of popular toxic relationships be lapped up and popularised despite the clear reasons of the characters not to date, but because they are “white” it’s welcomed, acceptable and put on a pedestal, and the toxicity is seen as part of the appeal.

Interpersonal relationships is a huge part of the story being told in The Bear - family, friends, found family, colleagues, professional and unprofessional. And Sydney and Carmen’s relationship is the yin and yang amongst it all, they are two sides of the same coin - their passion, their work ethic, their vision, their growth, their trust - THEM, no-one else holds this dynamic, well maybe you could compare Sugar and Pete’s relationship of differences and balancing each other out but like a way chiller version.

As the story unfolds and we learn more about Sydney and Carmen we see that they are better together than apart, they thrive when bouncing ideas off one another and creating, thy are leaders that best lead their team together. When their commitment and communication is open, they are rolling, they are primed, they are evolved and so is their team. They are at their best when they are keyed into each other.

I don’t know much about twin flames (nothing actually, other than MGK and Megan Fox’s touting that title and journalists running with it), but I imagine if I did know anything, I would be able to write a shit tonne more about how Sydney and Carmen are twin flames, soulmates.

Canonically, theirs is definitely a deeper connection formed in a very short amount of time that these two have known each other, and the others in that kitchen see it. It’s palpable. And whether it gets to be romantic or remain platonic we have yet to see, the foundation for romance is there, regardless.

And you can’t tell me that Sydney is not the catalyst for positive change for Carmy. Sydney ignites his creative spark, he envisions something greater for their restaurant and he thinks it’s possible and puts it into action, again because of Sydney entering the scene - “You could do this without me” / “I wouldn’t even want to do this without you”.

Going back to the Jezebel article and the comments, the (majority female) commentators are denying, what I would say by season two, is undeniable - Sydney is Carmy’s person, their relationship has romance tropes/themes throughout it whether the characters are aware or not.

From my opinion, most romantic storyline’s are to entertain and hook in more female audiences, it’s key to marketing, whether done well or not. And sometimes it may not be initially intentioned but when two actors have undeniable chemistry, writers tend to play on that with the characters, and sometimes change storyline’s to fully realise and employ the chemistry. The romance tropes are definitely there for SydxCarmy, ~even if you have to look under a table to find it.

Another point, EVERYTHING in The Bear is intentional - I wasn’t sure what my points were, I came in here to vent, so “bear” with me. The show has great writers, great directors, great actors, great editing, and you can tell they do. Even if they didn’t win all those awards you would know the show is done well. I’m sure film schools will use The Bear for students to dissect the art, because it is exemplary. Anyway back to my point, they didn’t come to play, everything is planned and even if it wasn’t - when it’s left in the final cut: IT IS INTENTIONAL.

The set design, the menu, the costuming, the lighting, the music, the pacing, the dialogue, camera angles, the editing, it is all an intentional choice. And they are choosing to have scenes imbued with intimacy, vulnerability, intensity, emotional rawness, in small spaces, loud, busy spaces, quiet, calm spaces, it’s a busy restaurant after all - things get stressful and wild, and haaaawt for a variety of reasons (mainly people working in close proximity, under a lot of pressure). All these charged moments carry significance for the characters and none get more intimate than Sydney and Carmy in that under the table moment - they slow everything down in that episode for that scene, where he invites her to confide in him her internal worries and she relents, and he reassures her then recommits to her. The world is quiet for one moment so they can have this heart to heart, and they are both willingly exposing themselves emotionally, they bolster each other up as they are bolstering that table, and then he gifts her with an expensive, planned, personalised, gift that he knew she would love (the cost, the effort and attention to detail from Carmy= it’s a designer engagement ring your honour).

And on that note, even when Carmy is spending time with his “she’s not my girlfriend/is she my girlfriend?”, Claire, we have INTENTIONAL shots of Sydney interspersed. Why are they bringing her into the scene when she isn’t physically there? Because she’s important, vital even, to Carmen’s thoughts and feelings, and therefore his actions. Sydney doesn’t belong with them in their one-on-one interactions, (intimate scenes) and yet there she is. Why this call to attention??? Because Carmy is not where he should be, because Carmy is not with the person he is meant to be with, because his attention is split and his focus is not where it should be. And it is going to be to his detriment - as we see later for everyone involved, but mainly him.

Claire is a distraction for Carmy and not necessarily a welcome one on his part, and yet he is spending more time with her, and Sydney’s scenes cut in-between are reminding us of this.

It’s showing not telling, but some people really do need to be told because they cannot read between the scenes.

Sydney is Carmen’s partner/equal/inspiration/hope/muse/balance (read soulmate).

Meanwhile, the ClairexCarmy scenes had all the obvious - This is a romantic relationship! stuff. And yet it lacked, I want to say: chemistry, heat, warmth, fire, depth of emotion. How is this possible to be lacking such weighted feeling? When you have two very attractive people in such close proximity, developing a romantic relationship that - feels romantic, it should be child’s play right? So, how could the portrayal be lacking such vitality, when ClairexCarmy scenes ticked all the romantic/couple boxes? Because it’s meant to be portrayed as lacklustre. It’s a foil for what the, equally attractive yet somehow hotter, SydxCarmy relationship already has, without realising that’s the space their characters inhabit.

And some commentators/viewers trying to make some moral/workplace ethical ground along the lines of “but he’s her boss”, she’s his junior employee”, “it’s inappropriate”, to all of those persons, I say NO. Maybe Sydney, may have appeared green to some viewers as a newcomer to The Beef and to the not so well-oiled kitchen crew, but Sydney is experienced, well trained, and brings her own heat. So, come season two in establishing The Bear restaurant it is also firmly established to viewers that Sydney is Carmen’s partner (business partner, yeah-yeah), she is his equal, he identifies her as such.

The man offered her to go into, possibly lifeling, debt with him to open up their dream family restaurant - the one thing he wanted to do with his dead hero older brother, the brother that was busy fighting his own demons and pushing Carmen away, making Carmen believe his big brother didn’t value him or see him as an equal and leave and punish himself to become the best chef he could be, which was the best in the world according to Sydney.

And Sydney was already in deep financial debt, but she didn’t even hesitate, it wasn’t until her worried, practical father started asking her the tough questions that she thought on it, (got defensive), then doubled down on her decision, because, Yes, Syd trusts Carmy, she will invest her hopes and dreams in him and with him.

Carmen initially hires Sydney because she’s excellent (too good for The Beef), and over a short period of time he comes to identify Sydney as his equal. Very early on, he makes her his right-hand woman - season one “Brigade episode. He trusts her to lead and to share the load, even if he left her high and dry first thing, but he did apologise). He also, opens up to Sydney about Mikey which he’s avoided talking about with his nearest and dearest.

Then Carmen ups the ante (where Mikey had pushed him away instead of making Carmy an equal), he does what he wished Mikey had offered him - he invites Sydney to be his business partner and to co-create. We learn of the shared vision they have in the season one finale, witnessing how in-step and connected they are when Sydney returns, bringing Carmen the hope of establishing his dream, The Bear.

Let me re-cap it for the sheer joy, because the amount of times I rewatched this scene:

The gang is un-canning Mike’s cash stash, Sydney nervously walks into the restaurant after previously quitting, and she is stopped by the chaotic scene before her, the gang notices and welcomes her back, she questions WTF is going on but stays still as Carmen zeroes in on her, the world quiets, as they lock eyes, she stands there uncertain, clutching her bag, and he continues to stare with a dumb look on his face, looking at her like she hung the moon and the stars (like the episode one meet-cute, but on steroids), and then he speaks and they riff off each other, without any preamble, like they’re reading a practiced speech, about their Family style, two-tops, booths, Danish design, tasting menu at the bar, window on the side, restaurant.

And that is one way to tell me I’m witnessing a marriage proposal without telling me I’m witnessing a marriage proposal.

As for Sydney, what does she get out of agreeing to team up to open The Bear? Other than being saddled with a huge debt with a lost, sad, grieving, lonely, driven, awkward, anxiety ridden, CPTSD, OCD, brilliant little, white, chef man?

Well, to do “the thing” her father questions her about - to realise her dream: to be (co-)owner of a restaurant. And and to do it with a world renowned chef who cooked the best meal she’s ever had, where she can lead and create, and have the opportunity to work towards a Michelin star, and for her to have a found family in that journey, to have other people to rely on and support and work towards a common goal, because she tried alone in the past and it didn’t work out. And this is an opportunity that she won’t pass up, regardless of her father’s concerns.

Also, Jeremy Allen White is a strong actor, and Ayo Edibiri, who is relatively a newcomer, holds her own, and adds to the scene. She brought her A-game - she meets him at his level whilst maintaining her character, she balances him out well in his rawness in bringing her own dynamic, those two actors playing those specific characters belong in the kitchen together, the casting choices are *chef’s kiss”.

Well that’s all, it is A LOT, and I had to get it all out, now that I’ve said my piece bring on season three of The Bear, I needed it yesterday!

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