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tendervulture · 3 years

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Doomrauder Divorce Eternal AU

BRB, thinking about writing a Night Sentinel Era!fic set during the Night Sentinel Civil War where Doomguy and The Marauder must battle both the Argenta divorce court and each other in order to get a divorce. This fic is heavily inspired by the dynamic between Marauder and Doomguy in @doomgays‘s comics, whose mod contributed some ideas for this fic. Some ideas were also contributed by @aliciamoonstoan, and I am eternally grateful to you both. This fic also runs on Rule of Silly, so if any of you have some ideas that could enhance the story, if I do write it, I’ll probably put them in with your permission.

Naturally, this story starts with Doomguy and Marauder being married, and then eventually deciding they want to get divorced. Why, I’ll never know. Surely the Civil War and Marauder deciding he’d rather benefit from the Khan Maykr’s use of Argent Energy didn’t have anything to do with it.

However, Argenta courts are absolutely balls-to-the-wall in weird laws that were never repealed, arcane, and impossible to deal with, even by medieval and early modern European standards (seriously, if anyone has any recommendations for researching that time period’s legal system, I will gladly give you my soul). In addition, they are absolutely not prepared for Argent D’Nur’s most famous Outlander to come knocking at their door looking for a divorce, as the most they previously dealt with were disputes over pretzel-making and sausage-making (All a Very Big Deal in Medieval Germany), and disputes between farmers and Night Sentinels after someone’s wolf gets into someone else’s chicken coop.

Even though he was accepted into the Night Sentinels, Doomslayer is a foreigner, and I wouldn’t put it past Argent D’Nur to have laws that apply to out-of-towners and not native-born Argenta (terrible). His marriage to the Marauder also helped integrate him in the eyes of the Argenta people-the courts are not going to help him let this tie to their culture go. In addition, Doomguy doesn’t have a legal name because it’s been so long he forgot it (this makes signing documents problematic, but he does use the Slayer’s Mark to sign documents), and even though he knows enough spoken Argenta and Argenta Sign Language to hold a conversation with his Night Sentinel buddies or order some food at the pub, he doesn’t know enough to understand Argenta Legalese. (The Marauder translates it for him, angrily. The tension is boiling.)

Doomguy’s attempt to divorce his husband goes on for years. There are lots and lots of court battles, shouting matches (this is how Doomguy lost his voice for good), and one near-fatal attack with a Super Shotgun and an Argent Energy-powered rice cooker.The courts still won’t let them get divorced. Argenta tabloids follow the case like wolves follow a dying moose (aliciamoonstoan’s idea). A few years in, and even the broadside ballad writers and tabloid writers are running out of material that isn’t them.

One possible ending for this is that Marauder and Doomguy bond so much over the courts’ shenanigans is that they get back together and call the whole divorce thing off.

Another ending is this:

Argent D’Nur courts settle divorce (and most other things, let’s be real) by a death match. Winner gets alimony (doomgays/adrianshepherdofficial’s idea). This is how Marauder dies (for the first time). Doomguy wins and shoots Marauder in the face with his own shotgun.

“My love, would you really shoot me? I love you. Haha I knew you couldn’t do it. Coward.”

*cocking shotgun noise*

Naturally, not even death can stop the Marauder. As soon as he comes back from the dead, they’re married again. Until the Marauder’s wolf decides she likes Doomguy better than her dad. Divorce. Remarry. Until the Marauder steals one of Doomguy’s kills. Divorce. Remarry. Divorce. The order Deag is getting tired of issuing bulls and indulgences so they can marry again. Only the Argenta Civil War and Doomguy getting stuck in the sarcophagus could stop them. The fight in the ARC complex is set during one of their “off” periods, and when Doomguy realizes who’s coming through the portal he’s all, “VEGA. VEGA. MY HORRIBLE EX IS HERE. PLEASE PULL ME OUT.” and VEGA, who has read the Argenta Tabloids through a historical database is all, “No, I don’t think I will. I like seeing you squirm. Have fun, dear.” :)

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jq37 · 4 years

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The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 15

Love Wins!

Welcome to an insanely chaotic episode of Fantasy High--even by the very high standards of this show. How chaotic you may ask? Well, the first thing that happens is that Bill Seacaster point blank shoots Gilear to death for being in a relationship with Hilariel. Full dead. He is full dead. Strangely, his plan to bring him back as a janky devil does not do much to comfort Fig. Imagine that.

Bill’s pirates are looting the Bottomless Pit (Gorthalax’s domain in Hell) and Vraz orders Fig to make them stop. When she instead orders Vraz to eat her ass, Vraz nullifies all warlock deals Gorthalax made and brings none other than Johnny Spells (and his greaser pals) to join the fight!

Really, this fight is insane and it’s better served by a highlight real than a play by play so I’m just gonna give you some bullets:

All the PCs rolled super low initiative this fight which really kinda screwed them. Like Fabian was down to 16 HP one point and it was like, “Lol, this is the end of round 1.” YIKES.

A big part of this fight was just surviving long enough to get to the second level of hell and rescue Riz’s dad which I think was probably good for morale because the thought of this fight dragging on for more than a couple of rounds exhausts me.

Fabian rolls off against Johnny right off the bat for the Hangman’s loyalty and Fabian wins with a 25 (and by coming out the gate with the word ENSLAVED which isn’t the word *I* would have used but a 25 is a 25 I guess).

He also has to contend with fighting Allistair who has a massive hole in his head filled with fire from Wicklaw eating his brain. It seems like Chungledown Bim is in hell too based on how Allistair keeps saying he’s gonna get him so he can shit in Fabian’s mouth. Of course, Fabian gets the better of him, but not before he deals out a fair bit of damage.

Adaine uses an Arcane Hand plus her portent roll to just whole-ass throw Johnny off the ship. Like, he gets back up but it’s so funny to instead of fighting an enemy to just throw him off a set piece (see eg: Bloodkeep ep2).

Kristen Revivifies Gilear and Bill, the mercurial sunuvabitch is like, “We love the same woman! I just want her happy!” and gives him a gun. Kristen immediately is like, “Bro, you need to hide,” and Gorgug protects him while he does so (in a sarcophagus that has a 50/50 shot of being launched as ammo).

Penelope shows up to the fight, eyes all black, wearing a shredded prom dress, and with shards of silver embedded in her forehead like a crown. Dayne and Daybreak also join the fight as messed up Harvestmen! It’s a veritable Smash Bros lineup of people the Bad Kids have killed!

Adaine and Fabian are christened the “Posh Squad” which is important to me, not to the fight.

Adaine gets to counterspell a counterspell from Penelope, one of the sexiest things you can do in D&D.

Fabian declares toxic masculinity dead. Shortly afterward, he makes Brennan eat a die when Daybreak tries to Frighten Fabian, a condition he is immune to due to his eyepatch I gather based on the table reaction.

Daybreak’s punishment in hell is a complete lack of self-awareness of why he’s there. He still thinks he should be sipping Mai-Tai’s in corn heaven with Helio while Kristen and Ragh are attacking him with gay spit (their words, not mine). Gay spit and, also, a ton of radiant and thunder damage.

Ragh gets some emotional catharsis by getting to body Dayne before Gorgug decapitates him. Very important step in the stages of grief. Decapitating the source of said grief.

Penelope gets Sparta-kicked off the edge of the boat by Fabian after Ayda dispels her protective globe and Riz shoots Daybreak again for old times sake. Unfortunately, Penelope Misty Steps back up and Daybreak is hurt but not killed. Ayda does a cool Dr. Strange teleportation thing and does a bunch of damage to both of them. Fabian finishes off Penelope with a sheet/sword combo and between Booming Blade and a Psionic Blast (does she have this ability as a Bard or as a Warlock? Relatedly, when she felt something leave her was that her Warlock deal being nullified or was she feeling the deals leave her since she is sort of the temporary Gorthalax?) Fig destroys Daybreak. Johnny just falls off the ship with no PC intervention because he sucks.

Bill also falls off the ship but Fig (with an assist from Gorgug) saves him and steals a scroll from Vraz on the way back up. By the by, earlier in the fight, she also had Baby Invisbly steal a random item from her.

Anyway, as they reach the end of the end of the fight, Bill loads Riz into a canon (!) and shoots him into the city, hopefully towards his dad (to the distress of his party). He crashes through the window in a familiar looking building and, when he finds a hallway that he’s pretty sure leads to his dad, he goes towards it.

He sees a familiar light coming out of a doorway (the interrogation room light) and a doorway next to it that is slightly open with steel thrones in it. There’s a two-way mirror between the two rooms and if he goes into the open one, he can see who is in with his dad. After checking for illusions and finding none, he stealthily walks in and sees, in the other room, his dad with a hulking pit fiend (30 ft tall, winged, almost dragon-y devil).

The pit fiend is questioning Pok about any regrets he had in life and Pok answers very uncharacteristically from the man we saw in the video saying he had nothing but high hopes for baby Riz. He says he had no regrets, his job was just a job, and that he only had a kid because Sklonda wanted one before going into a snarling goblin rage. The pit fiend smiles at that and says that Pok has promise so they won’t create a lemure out of him (a lemure is a weak, blobby devil). Two devils in the room with them whip him unconscious and then leave the room to go send more people to deal with Bill.

Riz Misty Steps into the room and does a self-imposed Wisdom check to steady himself after what he just heard--Nat 20 baby. Then, he opens his Briefcase of Holding, ready to scoop his dad into it when, the two lesser devils open the door and catch him in the act. But Riz persists in the scooping. They try to grapple him and he rolls a Nat 1 to avoid it. He *still* tries to get him dad. But then he notices, his gun is missing.

BLAM. The devils heads are blown clean off. He turns and he sees his dad has taken the gun--his gun originally--and shot the devils. Pok, who is amazed that Riz is there and no longer feigning apathy for the situation asks for an extraction into an earpiece, causing a halo to appear over his head and a beam of holy light to come down like a tractor beam.

“Wait,” says Riz. “You’re an undercover angel?”

“You got it, kid.”

Murph goes feral. The table goes feral. I go feral. What a way to end an episode!

And now for an all-Dad round of superlatives:

Detention

Bill Seacaster for KILLING GILEAR

I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain myself here.

Honor Roll

Pok Gukgak for Officially Joining the Fantasy Fathers of the Year Club

Here either.

I will, however, add a Hell Yeah!

Random Thoughts

If you haven’t seen it yet, the trailer for S5 of Dimension 20 just dropped and I won’t spoil it but, from the looks of it, it is gonna be a doozy.

“Do not metagame with my freaking Dad!” Oh to have the support of an NPC Emily Axford has decided to imprint upon.

Gorgug: It’s been one year. We’re sophomores.

“We support you as a DM and as your friend but also you’re our enemy.”

I think it’s very interesting that with just a little space and time from his dad, Fabian is finally having the proper reactions to his dad doing what I will charitably call shenanigans.

The level of distress and outrage from Emily when Gilear got shot was just *chef’s kiss*. I aspire to create an NPC that provokes that level of reaction from one of my players. Similar energy in a different direction from Ally when Daybreak attacked Tracker.

“Adaine, the jocks are being feisty! Get out of there!”

Vraz calls Fig “the Faithless” as her devil title and she insists on instead being called, “the InFaethable”. I wanna know how long Emily’s been sitting on that one or whether she came up with it on the spot.

Fabian upon seeing Johnny: Fuck off dude. I have too much going on right now.

Brennan being the eternal DM mood: How do I get out of this?

Very wild how little time has passed since Leviathan. Like, Fabian’s had this whole arc and grown so much but, like, OF COURSE Allistair still wants to murder him! It’s been like two days.

“I want to crumple up Gilear like a wrapper.”

A seven is a Murph 10.

The very specific way Brennan does foley for sword fighting (“Clang! Cling! Clang!”) is so funny to me.

Cannot overstate how much of a power move it was for Kristen to go, “I’ve been PRAYING FOR YOU,” at Daybreak and knock him on his ass.

I feel like I bring this up all the time but I love when Brennan is counting dice for a ton of damage and all the PCs are BSing reasons that it’s not a big deal like, “He’s just getting D4s,” or “Well I should get advantage for the reason just made up,” with everyone else fully playing along. ”

Allistair Ash, man. He is fascinating to me. I am so curious about what Brennan had planned for him originally because I feel like we barely scratched the surface before things took a TURN. He had two little moments in this ep that made my heart break for him a little: (1) When he says to Fabian, “If I die, I just come back a little bit worse but, if you die, you’re stuck down here with me.” and (2) when Fabian kills him and Bill grabs his soul and is like, “You know it’s gonna cost you X gold to revive you,” and he sighs and says, “Put it on my tab I suppose.” Like, I know he spent all ep trying to kill Fabian but I can’t help but be like, poor guy. He just has this pathos in his haplessness. I’m surprised Fabian didn’t make more of an effort to connect with him instead of being like, kind of like, “I will throw hands if I must.” Talking is a free action my dude. Anyway, I would love to see Brennan’s DM notes for this guy.

Lou was really doing some expert D&D with all the second winding and bonus actioning and burning spell slots for extra damage he was doing. He was like, “My initiative is trash so I have to do approximately a million damage per turn.”

Lol at Ayda asking if it’s weird to talk about sex stuff in front of friends in a group that involves both Kristen and Adaine.

Fig wishing she could do something cool in front of Ayda as if Ayda didn’t try to flood Hell on her behalf last week. My girl. You’ve already locked that down.

Not really an issue that’s we’ll run across during the run of FH but tieflings live 20-40 years longer than humans according to the official D&D lore. So lets say Fig lives to be 120 years old. And let’s say she sticks with her high school girlfriend and marries her. It’s possible they die at around the same time and then Ayda has to Deal With That in her next life but that’s not what I’m interested in. What happens if you’re a full elderly woman and your partner phoenixes into a child? What are the ethics of that? How do you deal with that? Chronomancy?

The horrified, “Love wins!” from Daybreak.

Is there a reason the viewing room Riz was in had thrones in it or is Hell just very about the ~aesthetic~

Every time a DM asks for a HP total, my entire being clenches in prep for a Power Word Kill.

“I’m gonna need a Dexter--”/”Counterspell.”

“You guys murdered me too but we hashed it out.”

I totally forgot that the Bad Kids lied that Ragh had shat his pants until the moment Adaine was saying it this episode. Freshman Year was WILD.

Also, just wanna take a second to talk about the elevation of Ragh from this side-note bully to a fully fledged, likeable character with depth and and an arc and gay spit. D&D is crazy.

Summoning Boggy via Bloody Mary is such a delightful image.

So, Kalina is the one that led Riz down the path that led to him finding out Pok is an Undercover Angel (!!!), which means one of three things: (1) She knew but miscalculated hard, (2) she didn’t know and made a different but also big miscalculation, (3) she did know and she’s doing some kind of 4-D chess thing we don’t know about yet.

Ayda hitting Fabian with a portent and then swooping in and saving Adaine. So clutch. What a good NPC to befriend.

Speaking of, I think we all kinda figured, but Brennan officially said on Twitter or the Discord (I don’t remember which) that Ayda is autistic. Like, I was pretty sure but I didn’t wanna assume.

Lol at the absolute lack of respect Kalvaxus got in this episode.

Pok as an Undercover Angel is SO GOOD. Like, I didn’t think he was really bad for a second but I never could have guessed he was an UNDERCOVER ANGEL. That’s such a dope combination of words. Undercover Angel (which my computer keeps trying to correct to undercover agent which isn’t wrong to be fair). Man. I love this. I love this for me and I love this for Riz. Riz deserves this. After so much crap in his life and so many mind games from Kalina and all this turmoil, he deserves to know that not only is his dad a good person who loved/loves him, he’s SO good that he’s an ANGEL and he was such a good spy in life he still is a secret agent in death. God, what a reveal. I can’t believe Riz got Spy Kids-ed TWICE by the same parent. Can’t wait to hear what exactly is going on with him.

Wait, what’s goblin heaven like? Which god is sanctioning this? Who is he working for exactly?

This episode, Kristen and Gorgug rolled 1 Nat 20 each, while Riz, Fabian, and Brennan each got 2. On the flipside, Adaine got 2 Nat 1’s, Fig and Fabian each rolled 1 that was cancelled, and Riz rolled 1 (in addition, Murph rolled two more which were lair actions and one of which was cancelled by a luck point so they don’t really count but it was very funny so I wanted to note it).

#fantasy high #fantasy high live #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #wow a recap that isn't a million pages for once #turns out I can do it

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dreadhaus-literature · 4 years

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{Collection} Double Trouble #3

“…Sarcophagus’ aren’t supposed to open…right?”

The question echoed in the otherwise silent space, known by most in the Haus as the Keeping Room. It housed a plethora of mystical, magical, and/or cursed items that found their way to the Haus--or that belonged to members of the Haushold after they moved in. The sealed room was monitored by a hand-selected group from the Family (namely those with expertise in the handling of such occult items) and access to the Room itself was strictly monitored.

The problem was, the people inside the room definitely had access to be there...even if a couple of them didn’t exactly want to be.

“Did anyone hear me?” Jax asked, a follow-up to his first question. He was standing beside Monica, with his twin directly on her other side--and giving him one hell of a glare, one Jax met with his usual annoyance. “What, Luc?! No one fuckin’ answered me!”

“Everyone can fucking hear you, muttface, you’re yelling.” Dot hissed, standing a little ways away from the other three. “Would you keep your damn voice down? Do you know what an inside voice is or didn’t Angelo teach you in class yet?”

“If he did, Jax missed it by talking so loudly he couldn’t hear the lesson.” Lucca didn’t speak often (Monica was the only person he talked to regularly, and usually even then it was telepathically rather than with his voice)--but when Lucca did speak, it was in the driest monotone the world had ever heard.

“At least I get to bring my papers to Momma for good boy points.”

Lucca didn’t miss a beat. “Mother likes bad boys.”

“THAT’S WHY I GET DETENTIONS ALL THE TIME--”

There was a sudden, metallic clang! a gilded urn bounced off the side of Jax’s head and clattered to the ground. He whirled, finding Dot staring at him with her hands on her hips.

“Did you throw that at me?!”

“I sure fucking did, would you keep your voice down? We’re not exactly supposed to be doing this.”

“Why are we doing this?”

“I don’t know why you or Jax are here, Lucca, because I distinctly remember just asking Monica to come along but if you must know,” Dot gestured with one hand toward the open sarcophagus. “I heard someone put a mummy in here and it would be perfect for the Halloween party tomorrow.”

“Don’t you have a mummy, Dottie?” Monica asked, earning her a smile from Dot.

“I sure do, our lovely literal mummy’s boy Horus.” Dot held up a finger. “But I never make anyone in the Haus actually work at any of the Halloween events, then they wouldn’t get to participate! And he’s just a little bean. Wouldn’t it be super cool to have a real, scary mummy at the party?”

Before Monica could even attempt to be swayed by Dot’s very obvious attempts at doing so, Jax piped up again.

“Aight, but back to what I asked before, his lid ain’t supposed to be open, right?”

“And if he’s in here, he’s not supposed to be out.” Lucca dropped into the conversation like a nail to a coffin lid.

“First of all, shut up, both of you. Second of all,” Dot turned back to the open lid of the sarcophagus. The incredibly large, intricately crafted gold screamed wealth in a past life...but also belied what most know about mummies--that if you disturb a mummy’s eternal rest, you could find yourself cursed. Was Dot willing to risk that just for a Halloween party?

Absolutely she was.

“Second of all...?” Jax prompted.

Dot swallowed. “Second of all, maybe someone just left the lid off?”

“Yeah. I’m sure he wanted some fresh air.”

Dot gave Lucca a look. “I liked you better when you were mute.”

Lucca just rested his chin on the top of Monica’s head as if to say, ‘she doesn’t.’

Monica had to bite back a laugh, both at the banter between siblings and the situation she found herself in. Antics in the Haus were pretty much the stuff urban legends and stories were made of; someone was always getting into something ridiculous or dangerous or ridiculously dangerous but it was admittedly rare that Dot was the cause of such. She tended to air on the more cautious side, which was partly why Monica had agreed to help her do this. The other half was straight up curiosity about the supposed mummy that was sitting in their Keeping Room for some unknown reason. No one seemed to know where the damn thing even came from, though no one had really asked. With a Haus this large, it was pretty commonplace occurrence to just assume someone was responsible and work the details of that out at a later date.

Dot took a few steps toward the open lid of the sarcophagus, which prompted the trio behind her to do the same. Monica was kept firmly between the young twins, who though they were considered pups by the majority of the Family, were fiercely protective of the woman they affectionately called their Mother. Jax was craning his head, straining up on his toes to try and see into the sarcophagus but Lucca was his usual reserved self, lacing his fingers through Monica’s just in case. She gave his fingers a grateful squeeze, hooking her other arm through Jax’s.

“What’s it look like?” Monica asked quietly. “There’s no bugs or anything, right?”

“...No, love, no bugs,” Dot reassured, her gaze on the contents of the open sarcophagus. “He looks pretty...normal?”

“Normal?”

Dot paused for another moment or two before she huffed. “I’m kinda disappointed, he’s not even scary looking. Or gooey. Or hideous.”

Now Monica was really curious, and with the twins escorting her, the trio came to stand beside Dot to peer into the sarcophagus. True to what Dot said, it was the most normal looking mummy they’d ever seen. In fact--

“Is this--Is he wrapped in toilet paper?” Monica asked, and given her hands were full, it was Dot who reached down to tug at the cloth covering the motionless body.

“What the fuck, this is toilet paper!” Dot yanked some of it off with a snap of her wrist. “What the ever-loving fuck is going--”

“...Hnnnnnnh...”

The group leapt back in unified surprise when the toilet paper wrapped body began to groan and writhe, but given it wasn’t tightly bound it only took a few shoulder shimmies before the paper began to fall away from the once-obscured features.

And Dot about kicked the sarcophagus off it’s stand onto the floor.

“W-What’s going on?! ...Aw man, did Wade wrap me up in toilet paper again?!”

It was Bob, from HYDRA, who for some inexplicable reason was bound in toilet paper and left inside the Haus’s Keeping Room--well, not inexplicable. There was a definite explanation to his predicament and it was that Wade Wilson has the worst sense of humor of anyone in the Haus.

“Bob...what the fuck are you doing in here?” Dot’s tone was measured, but closely resembled the calm of the sea right before a hurricane. Troubled waters lay ahead.

“Wade’s been tricking me all month!” Bob all but wailed, trying to sit up--for some reason the toilet paper binds were giving him some difficulty, though the more he wiggled it was apparent Wade had duct taped him before putting the toilet paper around him. This “trick” seemed more thought out than most of the Merc’s actual superhero or mercenary work. “He even warned me this would happen, he’s been making me into a mummy for the last week! Last time he hung me upside down so long in Spider-Man’s webbing that I lost consciousness!”

“You need new friends.” Lucca commented.

Jax, on the other hand, was in hysterics. “That’s the funniest shit I ever heard! Oh shit, I wonder if Wilson’ll let me join in!”

Dot didn’t even bother, that was Monica’s territory. She was too busy hauling Bob up to a sitting position by his ear--but as soon as he was sitting upright, a DON’T UNWRAP BEFORE OCTOBER 31ST sign was exposed on his back.

“Come on, dumbo. We’re getting you unwrapped and then you’re going to help me and Monica find a real mummy.”

“O-Oh, thank you--W-Wait what?!”

“Yeah, what?” Monica asked, meeting Dot’s gaze as the taller woman turned.

“Baby, Mama needs a mummy, and we’re getting Wade back for picking on Bob by having you come along. Now Bob can say he spent time with you that Wade didn’t get to.”

“Y-You’re going to get me killed.” Bob quietly input, though his heart was in his throat at the idea of actually getting to spend time with the Empress of the Family.

Dot smacked the back of his head, leaning in his personal space. “I’m going to kill someone if I don’t get the mummy I want before tomorrow, how about that?”

Jax raised his free hand. “Luc an’ I are gonna come too if you takin’ Momma.”

“Do the Alphas know?”

“Shut the hell up Lucca of course they don’t, who the hell has time for their nonsense? Not I, said the current mummyless wonder.” Dot hauled Bob out of the sarcophagus with one arm, gesturing toward the door. “Let’s go, I think the downtown museum has a mummy or two out for Halloween, we’ll just take one.”

“This is a b-bad idea,” Bob stammered, moreso because Monica looked at him when he started to talk.

“You hang out with Wade, you should be used to bad ideas.” Dot quipped dryly, the group making their way out of the Keeping Room.

“Bob?”

Bob nearly smacked into the nearby shelf when Monica said his name. “Y-Y-Yeah?”

“You have toilet paper stuck to your shoe.”

#{collection} : spooktober 2019

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victorluvsalice · 5 years

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AU Thursday: Londerland Bloodlines -- More Than Blood

More fic for you as I take a crack at figuring out the whole Londerland Bloodlines timeline/quest results thing (the wiki claims this whole game takes place over 11 nights?! Yeah, noooooo). This snippet takes place between the retrieval of the sarcophagus from the Giovanni and Victor's nightmare that leads to Alice trying to get everyone out of L.A. before she's sent up against the Sabbat by LaCroix. Everyone's settled into a routine now that Lizzie, Emily, and Bonejangles/Sam are free of the Giovanni -- Lizzie and Sam are cautiously trying out this "relationship" thing, and Emily has officially joined the group of "people Victor is allowed to date without it being called cheating." Surrounded by various forms of loved ones, Alice is happier than she's been in quite a long time. . .

At least, while she's not thinking about how, eventually, Victor and Victoria are going to grow old and die. Yeah, the problem with being happy is, she wants things to stay happy forever. . .and that means wanting Victor (and Victoria, and Emily, but -- one thing at a time) to stay with her forever. And since she won't Embrace him, that means the blood bond. . .but obviously she's not exactly keen on that either. So she goes to someone whom she's been previously told she can trust, and who might have a better view on the whole subject that she does. . .

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"So, what brings you to mine if you ain't looking for the goods?"

Alice perched herself on the arm of the couch, idly twisting her hands into knots (and trying to ignore the faint scent of blood clinging to the fabric – surely that should have gone by now!). "I – I have it on some authority that I can trust you," she said, remembering Rosa and her beach riddles ("The man on the couch for sure. . ."). "And the nature of my question means I can't quiz just anyone. I don't want to ask the other vampires – the ones who haven't already made their opinions known, anyway. They've got a different view of the whole mess. And Knox – he's nice enough, but he's got stars in his eyes about his particular situation. Can't see a single bad thing about it. And he and Bertram tried to play me once, so. . ." She shrugged, looking up at Mercurio. "You, I might be able to coax a straight answer out of."

Mercurio raised an eyebrow. "Huh. Guessin' this is about you and Victor, then?"

Alice nodded. "Our relationship, as it stands." She tipped her head back, staring at the ceiling. "You know that I'm trying to break him of his bond to me. Send him back to a normal life."

"Yeah, I heard. Victor ain't exactly happy about it."

"I'm aware." Alice sucked in a breath out of old habits. "And I don't – I don't particularly want him to go. He – he's so sweet, and kind, and creative. . ." Her fingers tightened on her jeans. "But that's why he has to go. I can't condemn him to follow me around like a puppy the rest of his days. He deserves to go back to being an ordinary human. To forget this awful world of eternal night and manipulative monsters exists. To have the veil raised once more so he can go off and fall in love and get married and raise a family and – and g-grow old and. . .and. . ."

Her voice cracked, failing her. She wiped desperately at her eyes, well aware she probably looked hysterical (in multiple senses – ugh, why was it she cried blood?!) but unable to stop herself. Damn it, why did she always let her emotions run away with her like this? Why couldn't she look at this with the same cold logic that bastard Strauss might? It was right to let him go! To encourage him to head off with Victoria (and probably Emily too, at this point, though sending off either of the girls made her insides knot up too – argh, Alice, one relationship issue at a time!) and enjoy those sunny days she no longer could! To have the mortal life she'd been denied! She had Lizzie now – she could give him up!

"Could you?" the Queen whispered, a tentacle curling around Alice's shoulders. "Could you stand to rise in the evenings and not see his smile? Could you come home to your haven and not miss his warmth on your couch? Could you watch him go and know that, one day, he won't walk this earth anymore? That you are sending him, slowly but surely, to his death?" Her voice softened, became desperate. "My king is gone – don't throw away yours!"

"Hey. Hey." Mercurio leaned over her, biting his lip as he pressed a handkerchief into her hand. "Relax, okay? Come on. I don't do well with crying ladies."

"Neither do I," Alice choked out, sitting up straight. She scrubbed the blood off her cheeks, struggling to master herself. "I just – I know it's the right thing. I know I shouldn't keep him. But then I look at him, and I see him lying in a hospital bed, old and decrepit, struggling for every breath. . .all alone again, just like I found him, only this time he's not getting any reprieve. . ." She pressed her face into the cloth, shaking her head. "He's made this dark parody of an existence so much brighter and warmer, brought so much good into my life, and I don't want to lose him. But I – I can't make myself Embrace him, because – how can I say I love him and yet take the sun away from him? Not to mention LaCroix would turn us both to dust in a heartbeat. . .and if I – I feed his addiction, give in and keep him as my ghoul. . ." She squeezed the bridge of her nose. "Back in England, I was under the care of a man who twisted my mind and memories in an attempt to make me his perfect doll. He thought nothing of destroying the wills of others – of children – in the name of making a profit. He came dangerously close to destroying me and all I am. And now I'm at the mercy of a prince who can force me to obey his commands with a mere glance. My thoughts no longer my own unless I jump when he says to jump. So when Bertram told me what vampire blood does to a person. . ." She let her head flop onto her chest. "Victor says he loves me. But is that the truth, or just my lingering vitae pulling words from his mouth? And if I give him more – bond him for good – don't I destroy everything he is? Replace him with something who will worship my veins, but never really care for me?" A tear trickled down her cheek. "Will I love just a – a puppet, and not the man?"

There was a long and exceedingly awkward silence. "Shit," Mercurio said at last. "You really ain't like other vampires."

Alice's lips twitched upward. "I'll take that as a compliment." She wiped up the tear and licked it off her finger, before patting her face clean. "So – yes. I need your opinion, as a long-time ghoul. Wonderland actually suggested I come to you, in fact. 'The fleet-footed god shall speak the truths you seek,' as Cheshire put it."

Mercurio snorted. "Cheshire's kind of flowery, ain't he?"

"Oh, that's not even him at his worst. . ." She sighed, then looked Mercurio straight in the eye. "I'm open to any advice you can give me. Do your worst."

"Right." Mercurio stepped back. "You want my advice? You take that boy and you make him yours." He held up a finger, forestalling any argument. "And I'll tell you why – 'cause first off, no, he ain't saying he loves you just 'cause he got a taste of your veins. You know how I know this?" He pointed at her. "'Cause I've been blood-bonded to LaCroix for years now – and I still think he's a prissy little bitch. Would do anything for him – loyalty's written in blood – but damn he can be an asshole."

Alice blinked. Blinked again. He – she glanced at Cheshire, who simply grinned back at her, as smug as he'd ever been (and that was very smug). "I – from what Bertram said–"

"Oh, the Nossie wasn't lying," Mercurio cut in. "I ain't saying my free will ain't taken a beating. I love that prissy little bitch. Wouldn't raise a hand against him. He gives me orders, I jump through hoops to get 'em done. That Astrolite thing you saved my ass on? Part of me didn't want him to find out just because I knew he'd be disappointed, and that tore me up inside worse than those fuckers up at the cabin did. I'd do anything to keep in his good books and keep getting my monthly supply." He held up his point-making finger. "But I got no illusions about the guy either. I'm all for the Camarilla, but I get why the Anarchs ain't if he's what they see of it. He's stuck-up, snotty, and will do whatever it takes to get more power, Masquerade and elders and all that be damned. And I know I've only got a good thing going with him as long as I'm useful. Minute I fuck up and he hears about it – that gorilla of his is gonna make sure I never fuck up again. And shit, the speeches. . ." Mercurio almost rolled his eyes right out of his head. "I'll put up with whatever he dishes out to get my blood, but I'm really glad he's got me posted out here instead of living in his bloody tower."

"There are reasons I still pay Trip to keep my haven here unoccupied," Alice agreed, chewing her lower lip. "So. . .you're bonded to him. . .but you don't like him?"

"Basically," Mercurio nodded. "Like I said, I'll do whatever he asks while he's still supplying me. If that ever dries up though. . .well, it'll hurt, I'll bitch and moan about it, but I think I could push through and get myself a new backer. Strauss probably wouldn't mind having a guy who was useful. It's all about getting that next fix." He tapped his fingers against his leg. "Your Victor, though? It's more than that. You gave him elder blood – the good stuff – and he said that he preferred yours. He shouldn't be that picky on one drink. I mean, yeah, maybe you got super-duper addictive blood. . .but from Fish?" He scoffed. "Yeah, doubt that. And that ain't even getting into how he'll go on and on about you if you let him. And it's not your blood he's talking about – it's your smile, or your eyes, or your sense of humor. It's you. He loves you."

Alice's undead heart fluttered, recalling soft looks and shy smiles across the couch. "You're certain?"

"I've been around the block a few times now – you see me getting that moony over LaCroix?" Mercurio retorted, smirking. "Hell, even Knox don't get like that, and he's all about his 'nasty dude.' What he feels for you is real, Alice. If you go the full three drinks, he ain't gonna act any different."

Alice couldn't help a frown. "You don't know that for sure."

"Maybe not, but I think I can take a pretty solid guess," Mercurio retorted. "And, if the mushy stuff ain't gonna convince ya, let me remind ya – your boy? Son of one of the richest guys in the world. Heir to a cannery empire worth billions. You don't want him? Another vampire will. And they ain't gonna care about him being sweet and kind and all that. They're just gonna see the dollar signs."

A brief, vivid image of Victor standing by LaCroix, blank-eyed and stiff, shot through Alice's brain. "Pound signs, technically," she said to distract herself from the rush of horror.

"Whichever – that'll be all they want. A Ventrue might want the business, a Toreador rich arm candy, a Nosferatu a laugh as they drain the bank accounts. . .they'll use him up and then throw him on the side of the road. Like I said, you're weird for a vampire. Most of them don't give a shit about how ghouls feel." He gave her a significant look. "Much less go head over heels for one."

"I gathered," Alice said, now trying to ignore the flowers blooming all over the walls of the apartment. Cheshire leaned up against her, purring – she resisted the dual urges to either push him away or scratch him behind the ears. "Thank you, Mercurio."

"No problem – you covered my ass for LaCroix, I can stop you being all stupid noble and lettin' your dream boy go," Mercurio replied, cracking a smile. "Besides, look at it from his point of view. Who wants to go back to being just plain old human after you've got a taste of the good stuff? I know I don't."

"To be fair, in your case, that might just be simple vanity," Alice teased, smirking. "You did mention before that you were getting into your sixties."

"Hey – which one of us was the one complainin' they didn't want their ghoul to get old?"

Alice snickered. "Okay, fair enough." She slipped her hand into her pocket. "All right – now that we've gotten that out of the way, I suppose I should pick up some more ammo while I'm here. Do you have any for the McLusky hanging around?"

"Now we're back in business." Mercurio clapped his hands. "Yes I do – and hey, you're gonna want a look at this beauty I snagged the other night. . ."

#londerland bloodlines #fanfic #yeah I know my original plan was that she doesn't break until after the events of the game #but when I started looking at the timeline I was like #'. . .okay if she doesn't go ahead and give him her blood earlier #he's not going to be a ghoul at all'#I mean I got around that somewhat with her giving him some of the vampire blood she picks up around the game #but still #once I figure out a more set timeline this'll probably be easier #it CAN'T be eleven nights because that only takes into account the main quests #and even those I don't think are spaced out correctly #I'm pretty sure dealing with Therese and Jeannette is a multiple-night business #as well as some of the other quests #I'm actually planning on a Malk playthrough starting this summer #I'm hoping going through the game again while trying my best to mimic what I think Alice would do will help #I mean I already have a Victor run of Fallout 4 going soooo #queued

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howtolivealifelessordinary · 7 years

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Egypt Day 9- Egyptian museum, Bazaar

We started our day with a delicious breakfast at our hotel and then began the days excursions at the Egyptian museum. Honestly, I would have been happy to spend the entire day there, especially with the midday itinerary, but we only had a few hours so I made the most of it. The collection here is insanely large and there's still thousands of pieces in storage that they don't even have room to display. They're currently building a new museum but I'm told the project has been delayed multiple times and they're not really clear as to when it will be complete. One of the first things you see is a replica of the infamous Rosetta stone and a bust of it's translator, Jean-Francois Champollion. The museum is separated by old, middle, and new kingdom so it's interesting to see the progression. All over are much better preserved statues than the ones seen at the temples and endless scrolls of papyrus telling different stories covering every wall. It's so much to look at, I think you stop absorbing it all because there's always something new to divert your attention. There was one piece that absolutely intrigued me. It was a black pyramid made of basalt, one of the most durable stones and almost impossible to break, let alone carve. If you were to smash a piece of granite against it, you'd do nothing more than pulverize the granite while leaving the basalt unscratched, or so we're told. But when you look at the stone itself there are deep hieroglyphs carved into it and completely straight lines. It almost looks machine cut, it's so perfect. Diamonds are the only thing I could think of them using but what do I know? There's well preserved burial rooms where you can see what the walls looked like when they were completely painted and it's a temporary fulfillment of my desire to have a time machine. These chambers have been frozen in time by strict temperature and humidity controls and are encased in glass to protect them and allow the public to view them. There's wooden statues, clay pots, and so much ornate jewelry on display. We only had an hour after our official tour of the museum to explore at our leisure so I decided to make the most of it by paying the extra money to see the mummy museum. Inside, are glass boxes with royal mummies inside, the final resting place of these great nobles. I wonder what they'd think of this display rather than the large and beautiful sarcophogi they'd originally intended to spend eternity in. I suppose they are eternal in this way but I don't know if it's what they had in mind. They're so shriveled and because of certain salts or preservation processes, vary in color. You can still see eyelashes and locks of hair, fingernails and teeth. Their skin has come off the bone in places and some are missing toes and fingers. The only parts you're able to see are the heads and feet but I wish I could pull away the linens blanketing them. I'd also like to smell them but they're encased in their new glass sarcophogi. One, a woman, was found with what was thought to be her mummified baby but after further examination using x-rays, they were able to determine it was actually just her pet baboon. When you look at these mummies, you begin to realize how much the ancient Egyptians really initiated for humanity. Wigs, ear plugs, gauged ears, sandals, and toilet seats to name a few and I'm sure the list goes on. One woman's cheeks even exploded from injecting too much fluid into them to give her cheeks a fuller look. These people were way ahead of their time and masters at their craft. How long did it take for them to figure all of this out? How many generations before them were performing the trial and error period for all of these advances? As always, I walked away with so many more questions than answers and I have a new-found respect for this once great civilization. We then headed to King Tut's section of the museum and I was once again brought back to his tomb in the Valley of the Kings. I remembered the small chamber that they found all of his belongings and as I was looking at the trove of treasures here in the museum, I realized that it must have been piled high from floor to ceiling and bursting with all of these objects. There's multiple chariots, multiple beds, statues, chairs, thrones, even an umbrella, some made of gold. And then there's the giant golden boxes, each perfectly fitting within the next where they finally revealed his sarcophagus and renowned 11 kilo solid gold mask carved and painted in his likeness. There were multiple pieces of solid gold jewelry layered around him, a crown, and even gauged plugs for his ears. Again, his tomb and it's belongings had a completely different feel to it. We wrapped up and stepped out into the hot Egyptian sun to regroup for lunch before heading to a couple of churches and the mosque of Mohammad Ali. To be honest, I had no interest in either. Being relatively agnostic but more in the Taoist realm, these places hold no spiritual significance to me. I'm sorry if that's offensive but I prefer the natural beauty of the God's work as opposed to man's interpretation of it, hidden away from the light of the stars. The church was free, so I reluctantly went in and saw where Jesus and his family supposedly hid from the Romans. My lack of interest made it difficult to pay attention and when the time came to go to the mosque, I opted out. I had been in several mosques before and preferred to save that money for the bazaar. If I could have opted out of the churches as well, I would have. As I said, my day would have been much better spent split between the museum and the bazaar. Instead, while everyone else was touring the mosque, I hung out with our driver, Imad, and we chatted over some Turkish coffee. This was way more fulfilling for me getting to know this sweet man who'd been our driver for the week and was always wearing a smile. After we picked up the others we headed to the bazaar in Cairo. This place was AMAZING! There's a lot of cheap Chinese-made stuff but also some real hidden gems as well. The narrow streets were packed to capacity and winding to random corridors and in and out of random buildings. It would be quite easy to get turned around if I wasn't so accustomed to major cities and finding my orientation landmarks. I'd say I navigated it fairly well. It was organized chaos within, with people of all ages winding and pressing to get to their intended destination. You've got a keep up or you'll get stuck while everyone else moves around you. Mothers hold tightly onto their children's hands as they pull them along and the kids are just used to it. The shop owners don't harass you and many speak no English so we have to do our negotiations on a cell phone or calculator just inputting numbers in until we agree on a price. I love bartering and they love my enthusiasm. At one point, I met Mustafa, a clothing store owner who had an abundance of comfortable and colorful clothes, all reasonably priced. I could lowball him but his kind face and bright demeanor made me want to give him a fair price, especially knowing how little the money is to me and how much it is for him. I started out buying one shirt but it quickly turned into two shirts, a dress, and two pants totalling 350 Egyptian pounds- a whopping $19 for me. He spoke great English and we laughed and joked around while he brought me outfit after outfit. At one point he jokingly asked, "How many camels do you think you're worth?" "At LEAST 90!" I proclaimed with a smile. "No no NO! I already have two wives but I pay a MILLION camels for you!" And we both had a raucous laugh. For those of you who don't know, this is not offensive in any way. It is socially acceptable in Egypt for a man to have up to 4 wives and the dowry is based on camels and horses. It may seem oppressive to the women but ultimately his first wife has final say of the other 3. It's her job to stay at home and take care of the family and his job to work hard and provide equally for all of his wives. If he buys jewelry for one, he must buy jewelry for all of them. It is more of a status symbol than anything else, I think, but all the women and wives I've encountered on this trip seem happy and healthy. And they are allowed to divorce if it's not, and the women can accept or decline a marriage proposal. To be honest, I think the men are getting the short end of the stick. But hey, I'm not here to judge, I'm here to enjoy the experience. For all of these reasons, marriage proposals, horses, and camels had become a running joke with the group and we took it as a compliment. I walked away, with a bag of clothes and started heading towards the main square, our meeting point, but not before I noticed a leather bag store. I walked in the dimly lit store which looked more like a western pawn shop with trinkets and luggage all over. It was dark and cool and the men in the shop were just hanging out having a hookah. I found a backpack that caught my eye and started asking about the quality. He assured me all were real leather and proceeded to flick his lighter on the material and let me have a whiff. I found a beautiful black bag with images of Egypt printed on the leather and talked him down from 600 to 400 Egyptian pounds. We shook hands and I had my new pack for $22 after the conversion. It was time for everyone to meet up to go back to the hotel, so I started making my way in that direction and was there in no time but not before taking it all in one last time. I didn't understand a word anyone was saying to each other and I absolutely loved it. We regrouped and headed back to our hotel, everyone sharing their experience and their finds. We were all quite happy with the outcome. Once back, we cleaned up a bit and decided to join for one final dinner before many of them were headed back home. We reminisced about the week and gave our highs and lows. Many of us agreed that the only real low was our stomachs and the farewell. I was technically in the wrong group so they were all leaving and I had to join a different one the next day. We had a great dinner and enjoyed each other's company before several had to catch their uber to the airport. I had a 4:45 AM checkout time so I retired to bed to get my stuff packed and ready for the 9 hour drive to Dahab and the Red Sea the following day. The goodbyes were warm and jovial and we all invited each other to our home countries. This is one of the things I love most about meeting fellow backpackers and the whole traveling lifestyle. The sense of camaraderie, hospitality, and appreciation for all walks of life.

#my Egyptian experience #adventures in Egypt #the joys of traveling #how to live a life less ordinary #traveling is my passion #travel blogger #travel blog #Cairo bazaar #egyptian museum #travel talk tours #this is what I live for

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