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#Not that anyone really needed this I feel like I just made it for me
urfavlarry · 2 days
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A Light That Never Goes Out
Joost Klein x reader
summary: you and Joost are both competing in eurovision, you representing {your country} and Joost representing the Netherlands. When Joost gets disqualified you’re both devastated, but you decide to defend your dear partner once you get to the finals.
A/N: first joost klein fanfic, need your honest opinions :,) hope you enjoy tho💙 and dont be afraid to request something joost klein x reader, requests are currently open!
。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。⋆ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆ ⋆ ˚⋆⋆ 。
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╰┈➤ ⋆。‧˚ʚ 🐦 ɞ˚‧。⋆
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Eurovision Song Contest
@Eurovision
We are currently investigating an incident involving the dutch artist. He will not be rehearsing until further notice.
Liked by joostsbeloved, eurovision.lover and 1,482,794 others
@joostswifeyy1 and 402K people commentsd
user210651: WHAT?? WTF HAPPENED
aikoswife: oo drama :0
lorelaixx: eurovision 2024 is so wild
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You looked at the post, shocked, disappointed.. angry? You didn’t know what emotions you were feeling but your first priority was currently Joost. The poor mans feelings and dreams were crushed, his cheerful and bright persona was now forced, and it was more dull than ever. You felt bad for your best friend, the one you started this whole journey with. You met wonderful people, made new memories, and all of it was now thrown away because Joost protected himself from unwanted media. It was unfair, it was quite literally pathetic how the EBU reacted. They shouldn’t be punishing Joost, yet here they were, not letting him rehearse. You walked to Joosts hotel room, things that you thought would cheer him up in hand. You knock softly on the door, loud enough so he could hear, waiting patiently outside the door.
Footsteps could be heard from behind the door a few seconds later the door got opened, revealing a very tired and not so happy looking Joost. He let you in, closing the door behind him as you set the stuff down. You walk over to him and open your arms for a hug, quickly getting tackled into a bear hug. “Mm..s’not fair..” He says, slurring his words as he started to sniffle softly. You pat his back, offering him some comforting words and assurances, trying to cheer him up as best as you could. “Shh.. It’s alright.. you don’t know how proud of you everyone is for coming this far.” He picks you up, walking to his bed and lays down with you, lying down on top of you. “I just failed everyone, I failed my people.” He says and you shush him, playing with his hair. “Hey! Listen to me now.” You say, lifting his head up so he would look at you. “You did not fail anyone. You have a whole community supporting you, so don’t you ever doubt yourself. You did nothing to harm someone, you’re a kind, lovely soul who people cherish.” You say, making him smile softly. He cupped your cheek and kissed you on the lips. It was short, but sweet making your stomach erupt with butterflies.
The next day felt grueling. You barely got up and got ready to go back to arena. You were excited to see all those familiar faces, but it felt forced since you now knew Joost wouldn’t be there by your side for all of it. You walked with Joost, hand in hand trying to talk about random topics like you usually did when you saw a hoard of fans. “We should get out of here.” You say, squeezing his hand. “Oh, but why?” He says, looking towards the crowd who was already standing in line to get in the Arena. Joost was always the social butterfly, you trying your best to not interact with crowds this big, not feeling safe since you didn’t really have a guard with you 24/7. You walk with him, letting him charm the crowd like usual all the fans going crazy. You took some pictures with the fans as well, signing things.. someone even asking you to draw a tattoo for them which you gladly did. Everyone was shouting things like ‘justice for Joost’ or ‘We love you Joost.’ Which warmed your heart knowing people support him, Joosts smile not going unnoticed by you. You walk with him inside the arena when some annoying interviewer had the nerve to comment about his disqualification, in a bad way. You had {your countries name} flag with you, which you used to cover him while you walked to the elevator. You mumble swears in your language, cussing the interviewer out like a mad person. Joost pulled you closer by the waist, planting a quick kiss to your forehead “Ik hou van jou.” (I love you)
After long exhausting hours, listening to the most talented people perform on stage, you go on after Bambie. An idea pops up in your head, smiling mischievously. Joost left already, watching from home since he thought it would be best if he wasn’t here when the incident was fresh. You walk on stage, about 20 or more people rapidly cleaning and getting the props and just everything ready for your performance. You waved at some fans and blew air kisses when the lights dimmed, which meant the cameras were now rolling and it was your time to shine. You pour your heart and passion for music out, the last words of the song slipping from your tongue and you finish it off with one last pose.
Everyone cheers for you, you suddenly take out the Netherlands flag, the words justice for Joost written in black paint on it. You wave it around and you hear cheering, of course some booing as well. You smile one last time before getting off stage, Bambie running up to you to give you a hug. Marina hugged you too, complimenting your performance before rushing on stage since it was her turn to go. “That’s gonna be everywhere babe, good luck.” Bambie says and you nod, joking about it with them. “Well shit, I don’t care if I get disqualified it needed to be said. I don’t even know how I managed to sneak that on stage haha.” You chat for a bit more before heading to a quieter place in the arena. You sat down on the floor, back against a wall as you open your messages to see Apson, and even Stuntje sending you videos. They knew about your little shenanigan and decided to record Joosts reaction.
They were all in Joosts hotel room, Joost cheerinf you on and singing along in your song. You chuckles softly as he mumbled some of the words since he didn’t really speak much of your language. When the song comes to an end he starts to cheer; “That’s my girl!” He screams, jumping up and down and clapping for you. “He’s definitely getting noise complaints.” You think to yourself, smiling at the screen. The TV shows you with the flag only for a few seconds since they tried to hide it as best as possible, but the ultimately failed since it was there for a good five seconds. Joost looked surprised, Apson cheering and Joost looks at him. “Wist u hiervan?” (did you know about this?) “Ja, Ja.” (yes, yes) He says and you see Apson smiling from Stuntjes point of view. The video gets cut off after a few more seconds, Joost visibly emotional so they most likely decided pointing a camera in his face wasn’t a good idea.
{‘My love’ in your language}
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Y/N
Y/N
Y/N
Whatshaiaidhsjja
you’re literally crazy but i still love u
is everything okay?
did they do anything to u?
ik hou zo veel van je schat 💙
sent 11:09pm
I’m alright love, see u soon ❤️
read 7 minutes ago
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You decided to watch the others perform, vibing with Bambie to songs and dance with them. After everyone finishes their song, you all go with your own team, the jury votes about to be announced. You blow an air kiss to Bambie and walk with your team, hyping everyone up. You didn’t expect to win, not after the stunt you pulled but you supported your friends to the very end. The final jury votes were given to Nemo by Sweden, you cheered for them since they really deserved the points. Their song was incredible and their vocals were angelic. You snap put of your thoughts, now the public would be able to vote. You would lie if you said you payed attention the whole time, zoning out almost every few minutes.
It was now between Croatia and Switzerland, your bet was on Nemo even though Croatia also did an amazing job. The atmosphere was tense, the silence being a bit more awkward than you liked, just hoping to get this all over with. You hear cheering, looking towards Nemo who looked like a beam of sunshine. You clapped, cheering your dear friend on and sing along to his performance.
It was done. Months of work and stress was finally over. You get a ride to your hotel with your team, scrolling through the hundreds of photos and videos from this wonderful experience. You saw a new place for the first time; Malmö which you were forever grateful for but you couldn’t wait to go back home to Amsterdam with Joost. Your movements were sluggish, your team laughing and joking about it. You chuckle along with them and wave goodbye to them as you all your separate ways to your hotel rooms. You on the other hand were walking to another room. You knock softly, the seconds feeling like hours when you don’t even register the door getting opened and get spinned around. You giggle like a 12 year old girl, Joost putting you down and kissing your soft lips. He closed the door behind him, walking with you to the bed slowly so you don’t fall since he refused to pull away from the kiss. He sits down with you and brings you into his lap. You finally pull away and he looks at you, love struck.
“When did you manage to get the flag you troublemaker?” He jokes and kisses your jaw, going down to your collar bone. “That my love, is a secret.” You say and he groans, lying down with you. “Doesn’t matter anymore.. You don’t know how much you made my day.” He says and peppers your face with kisses. You giggle softly, having to pull him away so he would stop. “Joost that tickles.” You say and he holds you tighter, burying his face in your hair. “You’re the light I needed in my life.”
。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。⋆ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆ ⋆ ˚⋆⋆ 。
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pucksandpower · 10 hours
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Party Girl
Happy Nation: A Series of Standalone Fics
Logan Sargeant x Hunt!Reader
Summary: Logan tries to save a notorious party girl from herself (or in which going wild runs in the Hunt family)
Warnings: illicit substances and peer-pressure
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The nightclub’s bass thumps through Logan’s chest as the trio approaches the entrance. Lando and Oscar turn to him with matching grins.
“You ready for this, mate?” Lando asks.
Logan eyes the mass of people spilling out onto the sidewalk. “Is this really a good idea?”
“Of course!” Oscar claps him on the shoulder. “It’s gonna be brilliant. Especially with you keeping an eye on the hostess.”
“Me?” Logan’s brow furrows.
Lando nods. “You’re our designated driver tonight, so you’ll be the soberest one here. We need you to keep Y/N from going too far off the rails.”
“Why me though? I barely know her.”
“Exactly!” Oscar exclaims. “She doesn’t really know you either, so she’ll actually listen instead of brushing you off like she does with the rest of us.”
Logan frowns. “I don’t know, guys ...”
“Oh, come on!” Lando wheedles. “You’ve heard the stories about James Hunt. Partying is in her DNA. We just need to make sure she doesn’t take after her grandad too much tonight.”
With a sigh, Logan relents. “Alright, fine. I’ll do my best to keep her out of trouble.”
The two grin and clap him on the back before leading the way inside. The throbbing music and flashing lights assault Logan’s senses as they enter. He scans the crowd, quickly spotting a vaguely familiar mane of untamed waves.
You’re laughing uproariously at something one of your friends said, drink sloshing precariously in your hand. Your cheeks are already flushed, eyes bright with intoxication and mirth. A pang of concern flutters in Logan’s chest — Lando and Oscar weren’t kidding about keeping an eye on you.
Making his way through the press of bodies, Logan sidles up next to you. You glance over with a brilliant smile.
“Heyyy, you made it!”
“Yeah, uh, hi,” Logan replies, suddenly feeling awkward. “Your friends invited me to, you know, keep things under control.”
You giggle. “Under control? What fun is that?”
Taking a swig of your drink, you spin away to dance with your friends, moving your hips enticingly. Logan swallows hard, trying not to stare. This is going to be harder than he thought.
The evening blurs by in a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds. Wherever you go, Logan follows at a respectful distance. He rebuffs anyone trying to offer you illicit substances and intervenes whenever your friends get too rowdy.
A few times you shoot him annoyed glares, but he just shrugs apologetically. He’s only doing what Lando and Oscar asked. Besides, he reasons, better to have you mad at him than in real danger.
As the hour grows later, your movements become more uncoordinated, laughter louder and words more slurred. Logan hovers closer, concern mounting.
“Ohhh, Logannnnn,” you croon, draping yourself over him. “You’re sooo stuffy. Live a little!”
He gently extracts himself from your embrace. “I think you’ve lived enough for tonight, Y/N.”
Pouting, you turn away petulantly. Logan watches as a few of your more unscrupulous friends surround you with sly grins. Alarm spikes through him when he sees one of them press something into your palm.
“Hey!” Pushing forward, he places himself between you and them. “Back off. She’s not interested.”
You blink at him owlishly while your friends sneer.
“Who’re you to decide for her, pretty boy?”
“Someone who actually cares if she’s okay.” Logan holds his ground.
With a drunken giggle, you lean against his back. “S’ok, Logieee. Lemme have some fun!”
“No, Y/N.” He spins to face you, gripping your shoulders firmly. “That stuff is bad news. You don’t want it, trust me.”
Your eyes are glazed, but you search his face like you’re trying to understand. One of your friends makes another attempt to press the little baggie into your hand. Without thinking, Logan bats it away. It goes flying across the club, spilling white powder everywhere.
“Dude!” Your friend shouts, outraged.
Logan doesn’t give them a chance to react further. Scooping you up in his arms, he starts carrying you away from the crowd. You’re tiny and warm against his chest, still giggling faintly.
“Mmm, Logan ... gonna getcha in trouble ...”
“I’ll take my chances,” he mutters.
Pushing his way through the throngs of people, Logan finally breaks free into the cool night air. He sets you on your feet, but keeps a steadying hand on your waist when you sway unsteadily.
Up close like this, he can make out the flushed skin across your nose, the flecks of light reflecting in your warm eyes. For a moment you just gaze at each other, the sounds of the party muffled behind the club’s doors.
Then your brow furrows. “Why’d ya stop me? I was jus’ havin’ fun.”
Logan shakes his head slowly. “That kind of fun isn’t good for you, Y/N. Your friends, they ... they weren’t looking out for your best interests back there.”
“You don’ even know me!” You protest, pushing away from him on unsteady feet.
Without thinking, Logan catches your hands in his. They’re so tiny, delicate, yet topped with nails sharp enough to take an eye out. Just like the rest of you — an enigmatic mix of fragile beauty and uncompromising tenacity.
“You’re right, I don’t really know you,” he admits. “But I know that you’re strong. Braver and tougher than anyone gives you credit for. And you don’t need that junk to be the life of the party.”
For a long moment, you simply stare at him, eyes wide. Then, slowly, you nod. A few stray tendrils of hair fall across your face and Logan’s fingers itch to brush them back. He tamps down the urge.
“M’sorry I made a scene back there,” you mumble, averting your gaze.
“Hey.” Logan ducks his head to catch your eye again. “Don’t be sorry. Those people, they ...” He shakes his head in disgust. “You deserve better friends than that.”
Pink dusts your cheeks as the corners of your mouth tick upwards. “You’re sweet, Logan. A real gentleman.”
“I just call it like I see it,” he replies with a shrug.
You laugh softly then, a warm, rich sound that sends tingles down Logan’s spine. When you speak again, your voice is clearer, more sober.
“I guess tonight got a little out of hand. Sometimes I go too far trying to live up to the reputation of my last name. It’s stupid, I know.”
“Hey, we all have things we’re trying to prove.” Logan squeezes your hands reassuringly. “But you don’t have to prove anything to me, Y/N. I can already see how amazing you are.”
For a beat, you simply stare at him, eyes shining. Then, surging up on your tiptoes, you throw your arms around his neck and kiss him hard.
Logan freezes for half a second before melting into the embrace, pulling you flush against him. His fingers tangle in your hair as he kisses you back with everything he has.
When you finally break apart, breathless and flushed, Logan rests his forehead against yours.
“Wow,” is all he can think to say.
You grin impishly up at him. “Now there’s a party I wouldn’t mind getting carried away at.”
Logan can’t help but laugh. Tucking you into his side, he presses a kiss to your temple. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
***
Logan jolts awake to the sound of insistent pounding on his hotel room door. Squinting against the bright sunlight filtering through the curtains, he rubs the sleep from his eyes and shuffles to answer it.
“About damn time!” Lando’s voice greets him as soon as the door opens. “Do you know how long we’ve been stuck outside?”
Oscar shoulders past Logan into the room. “Yeah, mate. Abandoning your friends at the club? Not cool.”
Logan’s brow furrows in confusion until the previous night’s events come trickling back. The party, the near miss with the drugs, getting you safely away ...
His gaze drifts to the rumpled bed across the room where you’re just starting to stir, sheets tangled around your legs. A soft smile tugs at Logan’s lips as he watches you blink owlishly.
“Earth to Logan?” Lando waves a hand in front of his face. “You still with us?”
“What? Yeah, sorry.” Logan drags his attention back to the two drivers. “Look, I can explain about last night ...”
“No need to explain why you ditched us,” Oscar interjects with a suggestive wink toward the bed. “We can figure that part out for ourselves.”
You sit upright then, the sheets pooling around your waist as you rub your eyes. “Whas’ goin’ on?”
“Well, well!” Lando exclaims with a salacious grin. “If it isn’t the life of the party herself! Get up to any ... extracurriculars last night?”
Heat creeps up the back of Logan’s neck as you glance between the three of them in sleepy bewilderment. A strangled laugh escapes Oscar’s lips as the realization hits both of them. You and Logan lock eyes from across the room, equally mortified.
“No, wait! It’s not what it looks like!” Logan splutters.
Lando claps a hand on his shoulder with a pitying look. “It’s alright, mate. You don’t have to be ashamed about finally getting some action.”
“But I didn’t!” Logan insists, running a flustered hand through his hair. “Y/N, tell them!”
Untangling yourself from the sheets, you slide off the bed — giving everyone an eyeful of the fact that you’re only wearing one of Logan’s hoodies. His breath catches in his throat because damn if you don’t look incredible drowning in his clothes.
Your bare feet pad across the carpet until you’re standing before him, fingers playing with the worn cotton hem. “He’s right, you two. We didn’t ... you know.”
Hurt flashes across Logan’s face before he can squelch it back down. Right, of course you wouldn’t want that after all the lines he crossed last night. You’d been drunk and vulnerable and now you were regretting everything, including the–
“We kissed! But it doesn’t have to mean anything,” he blurts out, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “I got Y/N out of a bad situation and we may have, uh, gotten a little carried away in the heat of the moment. But she was drunk and it won’t happen again, I swear.”
An awkward silence falls over the room, broken only by Lando’s snort of laughter. “No rizz, this one.”
Logan’s jaw clenches. He knew they’d tease him about it, but he’s a grown man and he doesn’t need to take it from the likes of–
“Logan.”
Your voice is soft but it cuts through the embarrassment swirling in his mind. You take his face gently in your hands and he’s helpless but to meet your warm gaze.
“What if I want it to mean something?”
The air whooshes out of him in a surprised breath. His hands find your waist of their own accord like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Y-You do?”
Behind you, Oscar groans. “God, he’s so hopeless.”
“I think it’s sweet!” Lando retorts. “Innocent, you know? Like a puppy getting all flustered.”
Logan blocks them out, his whole world narrowing to the amused, almost fond smile playing across your lips. You nod, leaning further into his embrace.
“I meant what I said last night, Logan. You’re the sweetest, most caring guy I’ve ever met. And I like you.” Your nose wrinkles adorably. “A lot, actually.”
He blinks rapidly, certain his heart is about to burst out of his chest. “Y/N, I ... I like you too. So much.”
Laughing that rich, warm laugh of yours, you loop your arms around his neck and rise up on your tiptoes. Logan meets you halfway, melting into the heated press of your lips against his.
Catcalls and wolf-whistles finally penetrate the happy bubble enveloping you both. You break the kiss with a breathless giggle, burrowing your face into the crook of Logan’s neck.
“Oi, lovebirds!” Oscar hollers. “Get a room!”
“Yeah, we’ve already got one!” Logan shoots back, surprising himself with the retort. He winks cheekily at you and you positively beam in response, eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Alright, that’s our cue!” Lando steers Oscar toward the door. “Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do, you crazy kids!”
The door slams behind them, leaving you and Logan alone in blissful quiet. His arms tighten around your waist, keeping you pressed flush against him. For a few heartbeats, you simply drink each other in, basking in the unfamiliar but not unwelcome feelings bubbling up.
Eventually you break the spell with a featherlight brush of your lips against the corner of Logan’s mouth. “So, was that too forward? I shouldn’t have just sprung that on you ...”
“No!” He rushes to reassure you. “God, no. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”
You poke his chest lightly, eyes dancing with mirth. “Not even racing?”
Logan chuckles, tucking a stray curl behind your ear. “Okay, maybe one other thing. But you’re definitely in the top two.”
Winding your arms back around his neck, you arch one brow mischievously. “Only top two? I’ll have to work on that ...”
His breath catches in his throat at the playful promise in your tone. “I, uh ... I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”
As you lean in to kiss him again, Logan can’t help but silently thank Lando and Oscar for dragging him to that party. True, the night didn’t go exactly as expected. But he wound up with the greatest prize of all — you, here in his arms, carefree and happy and perfect in every way.
Like the gentleman his mama raised him to be, Logan vows silently to cherish every moment with you. After all, only a fool would look a gift horse like you in the mouth.
***
Adrenaline still thrums through Logan’s veins as he exits parc fermé, helmet tucked under his arm. His cheeks ache from the wide grin stretched across his face — a double points finish was exactly what Williams needed.
Alex falls into step beside him, equally elated after their impressive showing on the track today. They did good, really good. Logan can’t wait to celebrate with the whole team.
As they approach the Williams garage, a familiar head of hair catches Logan’s eye. You’re standing front and center, bouncing on the balls of your feet with poorly contained excitement. A large bakery box is clutched in your hands, the elaborate logo on the lid leaving little doubt as to its expensive contents.
Logan’s grin widens impossibly further. Of course you’d be here with treats in tow, always ready to turn any occasion into a party. His heart swells with affection just watching you eagerly await his and Alex’s return.
The rest of the team notice their arrival and erupt into cheers, crowding around to clap the drivers on the back with jubilant congratulations. You hang back, though your whole face is lit up with unabashed pride.
“Nice one out there, lads!” An engineer calls over the ruckus.
“About time we had a good points haul,” Another mechanic agrees.
Logan waves off the compliments with a bashful duck of his head. The team has been through so much in recent seasons — they deserve this moment more than he does.
“Alright, alright! Give the boys some space to breathe!” A familiar voice rings out.
You shove your way through the throngs of people, bounding right up to Logan with a brilliant grin. He has a split second to brace himself before you launch into his arms, nearly sending him toppling backward with the force of your enthusiasm.
“You were brilliant!” You exclaim, planting an exuberant kiss on his cheek that has him blushing furiously. “Both of you! I’m so proud!”
Alex chuckles fondly as you untangle yourself from Logan just enough to loop an arm around the other man’s shoulders. “We couldn’t have done it without the team’s hard work. You should be proud of them.”
“Oh, I am!” You turn your beaming smile on the rest of the crew. “Which is why I brought a little celebratory treat!”
Holding up the bakery box with a waggle of your brows, you peel back the lid to reveal a massively decadent-looking chocolate cake. It’s one of the most elaborate confections Logan has ever laid eyes on.
A reverent hush falls over the assembled group as they all lean in to get a better look. The air is suddenly thick with the rich scent of cocoa and buttercream frosting.
“Blimey, Y/N! That must’ve set you back a pretty penny!” Alex exclaims.
You wave him off with a casual flap of your hand. “Oh, please! You don’t even want to know how many races I’ve brought an expensive cake to just in case. I’m just glad I finally got to use this one!”
A ripple of laughter rolls through the crew at that. Logan shakes his head in fond exasperation, equal parts endeared and unsurprised by your extravagant gesture.
When your gaze lands on him again, warmth blooms in his chest at the open adoration shining in your eyes. You look at him like he’s the most impressive thing you’ve ever seen, not some lucky racer who simply played a tiny part in today’s success.
Liquid courage from the race still thrumming through his veins, Logan acts on impulse. Plucking the cake box deftly from your grip, he passes it off to a bewildered Alex before cupping your face in his hands and kissing you soundly.
A startled squeak quickly melts into a pleased hum as you melt against him, looping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. Logan pours every ounce of his pride and affection for you into the heated press of his lips, uncaring of the captive audience for once.
Hoots and hollers finally break through the rosy haze fogging Logan’s mind. He breaks the kiss with a breathless chuckle, thumbs brushing over the delightfully flushed apples of your cheeks.
“Get a room, you two!” Alex hollers with a roll of his eyes.
The rest of the crew quickly devolves into jokes and ribbing at your expense, but Logan couldn’t care less. With you smiling up at him like he hung the moon, the rest of the world simply falls away.
“You taste like chocolate,” he murmurs, brushing his nose against yours.
The impish grin you shoot him in return makes his heart stutter. “Well, it wouldn’t be a proper party without dessert.”
An arm slings around Logan’s shoulders, disrupting the little bubble you’ve found yourselves cocooned in. He startles, having completely forgotten about the dozens of other people still milling about.
“Well isn’t this just precious!” Gaetan, Logan’s race engineer, gives him an affectionate shake. “Young love blossoming right here in the garage!”
Red blooms high on Logan’s cheeks even as your melodic giggles wash over him. He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly.
“We’re not that young.”
“Could’ve fooled me!” Gaetan retorts with a bark of laughter. “You two have more spark than the rest of the kids around here combined.”
Your hand finds Logan’s, tangling your fingers together as you lean bodily into his side. For a fleeting moment, he allows himself to bask in the happiness surrounding him. It’s like floating, secure in the knowledge that you’ll always be right here to keep him grounded.
“You know,” you begin softly, batting your lashes up at Logan. “This might just be my new favorite party.”
A surprised huff of laughter escapes him. But really, he shouldn’t be so shocked. From the moment he met you, it was clear you had an unparalleled zest for life. You see the joy and potential for a good time in every single occasion. It’s one of the many, many things Logan loves about you.
“Your favorite, huh?” He bends to press his forehead to yours, drinking in your radiant smile. “I’ll remember this one, then.”
Because no matter how many parties, races, or adventures you two share moving forward, Logan vows to cherish each and every one with you by his side. After all, every single moment is worth celebrating when you get to spend it with the person you love most.
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worldofkuro · 3 days
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idk if it sounds selfish but i need more comfort in my life rn, so i wanna ask for help.
if it's not really a big deal, i wanna see some comfort between alastor and reader when they were teens. maybe after he already told her that he wants to marry her, and something made her feel insecure and bad about herself. so she called Marie and ask Alastor to come, so she could lie down in his arms and listen him telling her that he loves her anyway.
or any other plots because I'll be okay with everything if it's fluff. thank you.
Of course dearest, anything for you to feel better. For those who will notice it, their last sentence is from the song “ Follow You” by Bring me the Horizon. I love this song and I thought it was pretty fitting. So here ,my dear, this scenario isn’t very long but I hope it will make you feel better. 
Follow You
You were coming back from school, trying to contain your tears. 
You had told Alice about Alastor’s wedding proposal and she was excited for you but some other girls heard you and made fun of you. How could a man see you desirable enough to be his wife? Most of the time, you didn’t care about their vile words, but you didn’t know why, today it was hurtful. Of course, Alice had taken your side immediately swearing at them like a sailor.
You didn’t greet your parents as you went immediately into your bedroom, hiding yourself under the blankets. You couldn’t even look at yourself in the mirror. Were you even worth being Alastor’s wife? He would always say you were “endearingly stupid”, did it mean he saw you as a stupid girl? Was he manipulating you?
Were you worth being special to someone’s heart?
You jerked your head up as you heard a knock on your window. You wiped your eyes and saw Alastor, his fist against the glass, staring at you. You opened the window quickly, scared he would fall.
“ Alastor, what are you doing here?”
“ I heard my mother talking with yours through the telephone, saying you didn’t feel well, so I came to check on you.” he entered your room, looking at you. You saw his eyes stopped at your tearied one. You tried to look away but he gripped your face, making sure he could watch your expression. “ Who?”
“ What..?”
“ Who made you cry?” he said with a gentle smile but his eyes had a dark glint.
“ No one.. It’s just… Am I worth it , Alastor?”
You gasped as Alastor forced you to lay on your bed, pushing something soft in your arms. Looking down on it you almost cried some more as you saw Eamon staring back at you. You squeezed it against your chest as Alastor laid next to you, observing your face.
“ Dearest, you’re just like a jewel. Being desired by people and those who can't have you are jealous. You are like a fresh breeze in summer, so short and yet so welcomed. You are much more than how you perceive yourself.”
“ But.. I feel like I’m going to be a useless wife…”
“ Hah! You, my dear, a useless wife? You could be doing nothing at home, as long as you are waiting for me, I would feel the happiest. But why would you think that? You have always been to my side, always accepted me. Why would I choose someone else to be next to me for my entire life? How could I look at anyone else now that my eyes have seen you?”
“ Alastor.. Do you love me…?”
He looked perplexed but wrapped his arms around your body, staring at your eyes without blinking.
“ I don’t know what love is about. But if loving you is wanting to devour you all, to protect you, you have your attention on me all the time, then I guess.. that I love you. But please, dearest, remember that even though I adore you, more than anything, my love is tainted with darkness. No matter how much I’m obsessed with you, I’ll drag you down to hell with me. I'm telling you, you're all I need, I promise you, you're all I see. I’ll never leave.” he stared at you, waiting for your answer.
“ I’ll follow you.’ you breathed, staring at his chocolate eyes. “So dig two graves because when you die, I swear I'll be leaving by your side. So you can drag me through hell, I’ll follow you.” you smiled sweetly at him as he beamed at your words, his cheeks flushed. He squeezed you against his body, Eamon between the both of you. 
You would always be together, the both of you. Alastor would always be by your side, like a curse, clawing at you to keep you from leaving, even if you would never think such a thing.
Your love was twisted, tainted in dark obsession but it was perfect for the both of you. Maybe people wouldn’t consider it as love, but you knew deep inside, Alastor would always chase after you if you were to run away. If you were to run away because of your feelings, your fears, everything, the only person who would chase you would be Alastor. And you knew he would never stop.
He would follow you.
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liveontelevision · 2 days
Note
MY FAVE POOKIE.... BY ANY CHANCE CAN.. CAN YOU WRITE FOR A VAMPIRE LUCI?? <3 I FEEL LIKE YOU'D CAPTURE HIM PERFECTLY
YOU'RE ONTO SOMETHING HERE BBG
(You're drawing of vamp Luci is literal eye candy and I'M IN A SUGAR COMAAA) I got way into the lore here I literally did nothing but write and edit this today - THAT BEING SAID this may need a 2nd part but lmk what y'all think
CW: He's a vamp, so.. blood in suggestive situations obvi
♡♡♡
Bite Me | Vamp Lucifer x Reader
"Isn't it just amazing?" You hold a book, opened to a certain illustration, far too close to your friend's eyes. They push the book back a bit just to get a peak, considering their nose was essentially in the pages. The paper reeked of dust and mildew. They subsided a sound of disgust to inspect the illustration you were so eager to show off.
"Oh! This is that weird mansion on the other side of town, but.. it looks..." 
"Stunning? This was what it looked like when it was first built and look-" You excitedly point out a certain tower, it was so thin and far back, that not even the pencil of the original artist could capture its true detail.
"Wait,  that's not there anymore, is it? Weird." Your friend shrugged it off, clearly not as invested as you. You scoff, pulling the book to your chest.
"Well.. not in the daytime, at least." You muttered. This was your hometown's rumor that's been spread for centuries. On the highest hill, past the overcrowded forest, sits the darkest and most foreboding manor anyone has seen. Even the oldest living relatives of those who have seen it, never recall what it looked like in its glory days. No one's quite sure when it was first built. It's as if it had always been there.
No one would really talk, only the seniors and the more.. eccentric.. People would even mention it. A tower that exceeded the height of the full moon, which was the only time it was visible to the naked eye. You've seen it yourself. But you were too inspired, too invested, to be satisfied with a little rumor and a single sighting.
You did your research. You scowered the forest, only to get lost for hours. You managed to find the manor, but in its close proximity, there was no sign of that tower. You found a book, shoved away under some shelf in your public library, depicting poorly written journal entries and illustrations. From what you could decipher, it was older than the town.. it must belong to its original tenants.
The handwriting was almost entirely illegible, which was disappointing, but the pictures inside.. they were crafted beautifully. Scenic drawings of the forest, animals, and a few of a stunning woman were scattered throughout. Every historian you tried to contact left your messages unopened. Any townspeople you'd show the pictures to, to see if they’d recognize the woman at least, looked at you like you were crazy.
Well.. crazy or not, there's only one real way to settle this.
You mark your calendar, circling every full moon for the rest of the year. And it nearly took that long to finally spot the tower, again. After all this time, restless nights where you'd fall asleep with the book in hand, strained sessions of trying to decipher the wording, yet it all got you nowhere. You'd lost friends because of this. You've skipped dates. All because of this damned tower. 
But finally, here it is! Ready to throw yourself from your bedroom window, you take the bag that had been packed for months in case of this very instant, but decide it best to leave through the front door.
You had memorized the path to the manor at this point. What could possibly be drawing you in so deeply? What history could this place possibly hold? Who was the woman drawn in this book.. and who was the artist? You stood in awe, finally seeing the tower up close. The manor itself seemed to be made of an entirely different stone. You jot down your notes and the differences you're seeing in a small book.
You nearly squeal at the sound of the creaking double doors, as you step inside. It wasn't your first time here, you reach into your bag to obtain the little map you had drawn out a few weeks back. Were you going insane? Who's to say? You traced your finger across a path you had drawn, then with determination, went towards the corridor that should lead you to whatever you were looking for.
You stopped and took pictures on occasion, observing things you have seen countless times over the past few months. It still managed to take your breath away. You turned around, stepping backward, to observe the intricate detailing of the high ceilings, letting out little ooh's and aah's you'd assume no one would hear. But you couldn't be sure.
You nearly stumble, turning to face the corridor head-on. A crumbling noise had sent a shock of fear and curiosity into your heart. Was this place ready to cave in? Did something else cause the destruction?
As you continue on, you decide it best to place headphones over your ears. With one ear still slightly free, you do your best to distract your fears and keep exploring. As you hum along, occasionally breaking out into song, your eyes are drawn to a small doorway that definitely was not there during your previous visits. It's made of a different wood than the other doors. It looks.. newer. The handle seems used as If the oils of a hand had worn down its clean coating. This has to be it. Your hand is shaking as you reach for the door, and your heart drops for a moment. It’s warm underneath your touch. With a final breath, you open the door.
It’s.. not exactly what you were expecting. The door led to an impossibly long spiral staircase, you weren't sure if you could make it to the top before daylight. It's too late to go back now, though. You dredge on. As you start your climb, the music from your headset turns to static. And what you expected to be a mile-long staircase ended in mere seconds. Confused by the distortion of the building, you pull out your little journal to document your new discovery as you continue on. 
The steps lead into the tower, you were sure of it. The bricks of the walls and the wood of the doors, it was all different than the manor below. It opened into a short hallway, with a few doors on either side. Opposite to you was a window. It wasn’t shattered or cracked, or even dusty. You press your hands against it and lean forward to see the view of your town. In a stereotypical, I can see my house from here! moment, you pull out your phone to take yet another picture, but.. it's dead. After being fully charged before your arrival. Of course. It's a magical tower that only appears on a full moon and has disappearing staircases, you weren't too shocked by sorcery after what you've exposed yourself to.
As you take in the terrifying height of the structure from the window, something happens that officially startles you for the first time tonight. You hear a gruesome cackling from behind a nearby doorway.
You quickly find its source, pressing your ear to the wooden door. You couldn't make out any specific words, but there was a voice. It was a man's voice. He seemed to laughing, then groaning and complaining about something, then talking some more.. quite a blabbermouth for someone who seems to be alone, you don't hear any other voices.
You have a weapon in your bag. It's nothing fancy, just a little switchblade, but you assumed it'd be enough to ward off at least a single person. Just in case. You decide to go in.
"Oh, who am I kidding, this sucks!" An exacerbated groan, and the sound of something crashing, can be heard as you crack the door open a bit. You peek inside.
A pacing man is surrounded by trinkets, books and tools in some kind of workshop. He looks human.. almost. You notice his skin is nearly paper white. It has a beautiful glow to it, that contrasts against his mostly black wardrobe. You clock his clothes as almost Victorian, a puffed blouse that cinches in at his waist with the assistance of a red-laced vest. His heels seem a bit tall for the time period, but even then, he's actually rather.. short. Despite that, his hair was slicked back but seemed to be coming undone. You watch him pace around for a while longer, finally capturing his arms running through his hair. They're tapered black, as if his hands were dipped in soot. How odd. You want a picture. You want to talk to him, to ask him questions.
You're too engrossed in the view you were spying on to notice he had stopped his jabbering and was now frozen in place at the sight of you. An awkward amount of time passes before either of you make a decision on what to do next.
You decide it best to just forget about this random encounter. This was obviously just another dream. It wasn't, but this wouldn't even be the strangest one you've had. You finally break eye contact, pulling the door shut behind you.
You lean your entire body against it, desperate to keep him contained until you can get your thoughts straightened out. Maybe he's nice! Maybe he's not an insane, inhuman, tinkerer who talks to himself. Before you can think a moment longer, the door opens and thoroughly knocks you to the floor. You scuff your knees and palms against the stone floor, hissing at the wounds before turning on your back to face your attacker.
Okay, it wasn't an attack, exactly. He just opened the door you were standing in front of. You were a little shocked, considering you were putting your full weight on it and he swung it open like nothing was there at all.
your widened eyes were met with his yet again. They seemed different than before. His irises were suddenly glowing a crimson red, staring down at you with a look of disgust. Your heart rate quickens as you finally catch more of his features. The glow of his eyes and the moonlight from the window show off a set of demonic horns, twisting and turning from his temples, and pointed ears. Then finally, you spot his frown- then his fangs.
You slowly crawl backward, making as much distance as you can before your back hits the cold stone of the wall. Your breathing rapidly as he kneels down, continuing to observe your tense body language from such a close distance.
"What is this- how did you get in? I made a whole fancy labyrinth for you little humans and you still manage to pester me." He seems curious now, still annoyed by the interruption, but curious. He catches the sight of your blade, taking it from underneath your hand.
"And you thought this could kill me?" He scoffs, tossing it to the side. "I thought the ones smart enough to get in would put more effort into their weapon of choice." He finally stands, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at you. His piercing red irises had you staring for an inappropriately long time. He looks around, then behind him, in disbelief that you'd be this lost in his eyes. He clears his throat to get your attention.
"N-no! I don't want to kill you, I swear! I just.. I wanted to..." Why were you here again? To find what's inside the haunted tower? To explore a rumor and find the truth? You'd hate to consider it.. but could you have been wasting all this time after finally being faced with the anticlimactic answer? Your silence doesn't seem to amuse the stranger.
"What, you just stumbled upon my hidden tower? That doesn't sound right. Well, I'll tell you now, I'm not some genie or wizard- I won't grant you wishes or anything stupid like that." He starts to head back to his office. "I have nothing to offer you, so just pretend this is a nightmare or something and go home." You see a little flame puff from his lips as he speaks, clearly irritated by your presence. 
"Wait- wait! I forgot!" You stumble to your feet, wincing at the pain in your scraped knees, but still going on to fumble through your bag. You find your tattered book. The relic that started this all.
"Is this yours?" He takes the book from your hand, skimming through the pages then glaring back up to meet your eyes. 
"Did you steal this?" You shake your head with haste, watching him continue to examine the book. "Then.. yes. This is mine. I'm surprised it's still in one piece." He stops at one of the drawings of the woman. He brushes his hand across the illustration with a dreamy sigh.
"She's beautiful." Your voice breaks his concentration and you see his pale skin turn ever so slightly pink. 
"She is, isn't she?" With a warm smile, you almost forget his threatening nature.
"Who was she?" He looks away from you, letting the book shut.
"It's not important. You need to leave." He leads you to the door. You try to keep up with his strides, only to fumble, your knees weak and bruised from the previous fall. He spots the bleeding scuffs and groans.
"Good lord, you humans are so fragile." You hear him grumble before he's turned on his heels and is dragging you back towards that workshop you intruded on. He grabs you by your arms and guides you to sit down at a little table he had set up. You examined the room after he had walked away. You saw his workbench. It held numerous little springs and gears, paints, and brushes. Looking to the side, you see a shattered figurine, probably what he had thrown during his little tantrum you spied on.
Seeing him standing above you stops your wandering eyes. He kneels down, already wrapping your wounded knees in gauze. You watched him silently. You were surprised at how comfortable the space seemed, considering a man with a demonic presence was currently tending to you like a nurse.
"So.. what are you exactly?" You finally blurted out. You had so many questions, but this was a good place to start.
"Oh. Um.. I think I hear humans referring to me as a vampire." Your blood runs cold and you squeeze the edge of your seat on either side. You feel his hand tremor for a moment, letting his eyes linger on your legs before finishing up one knee with a neat tie. He moves on to the next.
"So you're immortal and drink blood and all that?" He scoffs at your questioning shaking his head. You sound like a curious child.
"That’s.. Mostly correct. Actually, your human literature seemed to accurately portray a lot of my abilities. I'm almost impressed."
"Should I be scared?" You ask with an almost teasing tone, as if that weren't possible.
"Why? Do you think I'm scary?" He looks up for a moment, meeting your eyes. Its subtle, but you see them glowing just slightly. And it almost makes you nervous. Enraptured in an emotion you have to assume is fear, you watch his hands trail around and calf to bring your leg a bit closer. He sticks out his tongue. It's similar to a serpents’. Your eyes follow his tongue to your knee, where he licks the entirety of the wound.
In a state of shock, all you do is tense in your seat, wincing from his action. His tongue reels back, stained with the blood from your own wound. He lets out a breathy hum, before realizing his place.
"E-excuse me, I uh.. have healing properties..?" You cock your head to the side, the confusion in your mind quickly replaced with curiosity.
"Woah, really?" He finishes off your other knee.
".. No. Okay, all patched up. You have to leave." He said hurriedly before the realization could set in. He was embarrassed by his actions sure, but the sunrise softly lighting the room seemed to make him anxious.
"Wait- no! I have so many questions! Why do I have to go? How does this place just vanish in the daytime? Why are you here all alone?" You start to ramble as he manages to move you with ease. "A-at least tell me your name!" You say quickly, breaking from his grasp just before he can shove you out the door. He stops and lets out a sigh.
"Fine. Here." He reaches into his shirt and pulls out a small golden crystal attached to a necklace. Forcing your eyes down to his dipped neckline made you a bit red in the cheeks. With a quick motion, he swings it over your neck.
"This is an Asmodean crystal. You'll be able to see and enter my tower on any night now. You.. you're welcome to return when you see fit." You stare at the small gem in amazement.
"And.. you're just trusting me with this?"
He shrugs, smiling at you for the first time tonight. "You haven't given me a reason not to. You're definitely not a threat." You hum in response, despite his obvious condescending nature. giving the gem one last examination, you tuck it away into your own shirt.
".. And it's Lucifer."
You can't help but grin. “Okay! Time to go! The sun’s almost up!” He rushes you.
"Hm! I'll be back, then, I promise! I'll see you, Lucifer!" You excitedly wave and head back down the stairs. Lucifer.. Your mind was running with possibilities as you left. You turned to the door before leaving, but by the time you looked back, it was simply.. bricked over. You felt almost disappointed. But feeling for the necklace and twirling it between your fingers reminds you that this was all real. He's real.
Lucifer said you could visit. And so you did. While you passed out almost immediately once you returned home, you waited eagerly for the sun to set the next night. You check your window, again. With the crystal squeezed tightly in your fist, you see the familiar tower yet again, despite the full moon being nowhere in sight.
Unfortunately, you are human. You do have a life to live. It took you a few days before you could visit, again, but eventually you did. And it was perfect. Looking down upon in your hometown, it was refreshing to have a new friend. You told him about your own life, giving him some brief history lessons on things he might not know, and bringing him the stereotypical vampire merchandise from current media. He deemed it offensive.
You got him to talk about his past after some pushing. He was one of many brothers, all of them were bloodsuckers of their own accord.
"Wow.. so you came from a whole family of vampires? I mean.. if you don't mind me asking, why aren't you there? What brings you to my glamorous little town?" You say your last question with an eye roll. You were seated at a little bench, a comfortable nook that was set at the window in his workshop, as you watched him working on some sort of mechanical toy. You notice a slight frown tugging at his lips in response to your question.
"Hm. My brothers aren't exactly a fan of me. And you speak sarcastically, but it is actually quite nice here. The air is clearer, and there's much less fire." You look out the window as he's talking.
"Wait.. less fire than where?" He slipped up. You've noticed over these past few visits that he's not too keen on disclosing certain parts of his past. You see him stop what he's doing and curse under his breath.
"I.. I'm from a different realm, of sorts. It's dingy and dark and everyone there cares for nothing but bloodlust." He explains carefully.
"Damn, that sounds like Hell." You pull your knees to your chest, just attempting to sympathize with him by your words.
"You have no idea." He chuckles in response, seeming disarmed enough to continue his tinkering.
"Do you ever go back there? You have to see your family sometimes, right?" He's groaning quietly at your questions.
"Well, yes and no. I'm always here in my tower. And I put a lot of work into making it my own. I'd keep it here forever if I could, but it takes quite a bit of energy from me to keep it in good shape in this realm, so when the sun is out-"
"You return to your own realm! Wow.." you wished you had your book on you to write all this down. But it seemed unnecessary to bring a survival kit here. You felt so safe. 
"How about that lady? In your book? Is she someone from that realm? A family member, maybe?" You bombard him with questions yet again. You do that a lot. He looked over at you with an unenthused glare. You laugh nervously and wave your hands. "N-Nevermind, sorry."
He's made it clear that he doesn't appreciate all these questions. But when he does open up, you can't help but appreciate his fantastical stories.
Looking for a change in topic, you approach his bench, looking over whatever he was working on. With one final screw being turned in, he looks up to you and shows you the small trinket silently. You take it, a bit nervous of its delicacy, and examine it.
"It's fine, it won't break." He rolls his eyes at your nerves. "Like this." He places a hand below yours to steady your grasp and lifts the top of the little round structure to reveal a little sculpted scene. It’s of a pond, with some fish and ducks visible on the pond. It looked so real, despite its size. He smirks at your enthralled expression, reaching for a small key on the back and turning it. It releases a gentle tune, the ducks suddenly spinning and dancing across the pond.
"A music box..?" You question. You look towards him and notice his reaction. He looks almost nervous like he was expecting some harsh critique.
"It's beautiful, Lucifer! Did you use magic or something? This is so cool!" Your outburst leaves him slightly surprised, and just a bit blushed.
"Y-Yes, it is pretty, isn't it?" He says softly, looking away with a smile. By the time he's looking back to you, still enjoying the little trinket, the sun is just peaking from the hills. He should rush to get you out of there. Humans don't belong in his realm, definitely not this one.. but he doesn't want this to end. He wants to show you more, while he listens to you rant about something useless. He shakes his head to reality. He can't have these feelings. Not again.
"It's morning. I'm afraid you have to go, dear." You look just as disappointed as he does, but follow him to the exit either way.
"Wait, here-" You hold the intricate music box back out to him, but he closes his hands around yours, encasing it in your grasp.
"Keep it." His hands are cold. You notice that his skin is always cold, no matter the weather. You wonder if he thinks about the warmth of your hands just as much. Your hands are held together for a bit too long, but the sight of your face in the golden light of the sunrise has him frozen in place.
"What happens if I stay?" Your hasty question snaps him away, quickly tucking his hands behind his back.
"Absolutely not." He says sternly, reaching around and opening his door. "Sorry.. I just.. It’s not safe. You’ll be back though, right?." He smiles, and it always disarms you. Briefly disappointed, you nod and give him a quick wave. You head back to your regular vampire-free life for the time being.
You find yourself back in his workshop, a few months later. The visits were becoming more frequent and neither of you seemed to complain about it.
Since then, the room has been decorated with pillows or blankets you've brought. On occasion, you'd go to see him just to sleep uncomfortably on the small cushioned nook near the window. He never seemed to mind. He'd wake you up carefully before the sun rose.
Other times, you'd bring him tools or gifts from your hometown that he might like, and occasionally you'd get him to eat actual food.
One night you set out one of your blankets on the ground and forced him to sit with you, after seeing him get flustered with whatever he was working on.
"Can you actually eat? Does it do anything for you?" He shrugs in response to your question, popping a little chocolate confection into his mouth.
"Not really. It's more for enjoyment than anything. And these are definitely enjoyable." As he hums at the sweets, he moves to lie down across the blanket, resting his head in your lap. "Where are they from?"
You look down at the little heart-shaped box you've both been taking the treats from and cringe.
"A.. uh.. person. It was a gift. Someone tried to take me out for Valentine's Day, but I wasn't interested." You say quietly.
"Right.. it’s Valentine’s Day… Well, what was wrong with them? Were they rude to you? Ugly?" He asks between bites. You laugh and take a chocolate for yourself.
"No, nothing like that.. they just..." They weren't you. "N-not my type is all." You stammer, quickly shoving the chocolate into your mouth. What are you thinking? He's laughing at you now.
"So you'd rather spend your Valentine's Day with an old crone?" He was joking, but he was right.
"Yeah.. I think I would, actually. I love visiting you." You said calmly, trying your best to keep the compliments.. platonic. Peeking down at him for a second, you notice his tense posture and pink cheeks.
"I-I just- it's not that big a deal, I mean, I've never really celebrated Valentine's Day anyway, so.." You start to fidget with your crystal necklace, picking at the thread and running your thumb along its smooth surface.
"Well..! Then... I'm glad you're enjoying my company, I suppose." He tries to de-escalate the brief tension. You change the subject matter.
"Well, if we're getting on my social life, then I have a question." You finally say. He seems nervous for a moment but is playing it cool to the best of his ability.
"Shoot."
"So, you stay in your tower all day, don't see your family, I don't even hear you talk about that woman from your drawings.. Have you just been alone this whole time?"
He freezes for a moment, before putting a chocolate back into the box and clearing his throat.
"No.. not the whole time." He sighs, standing and going to fetch something. He returns to sit across from you and you’re a little disappointed he didn’t return his head to rest in your lap. It was a journal, it had a similar binding to the one you had found over a year ago.
"Her name is Lillith." He starts, flipping the pages and stopping at one of her drawings. "She's from my realm, and.. we fell in love." For some reason, your heart ached at his words. "I decided to show her this place many years ago, and she wanted to see a nearby village, so.. we went down there together. It was disgusting. People were treating each other so foul, it was loud and dirty, and there was no sign of intelligence." His voice goes dark for a moment, allowing you to flip through the book. "But Lillith loved them. She saw their potential and.. wanted to stay with them. So we made a deal. She'd explore the village when the full moon was out and then return to me the rest of the time."
You look up from the book, seeing that her drawings had stopped about halfway through. The rest of the book was empty.
"So is she.." you mutter, letting the book drop to see his pained expression.
"I haven't seen her in years. Might be decades at this point, but.. it's hard to keep track. I have no idea where she could be, but if she ever returns then-"
"You're waiting for her?" You interrupt, your voice has a hint of irritation to it.
"Hm. I guess I am. I've given up trying to find her, but I still keep this place standing. Just in case." His face reads dejected as he speaks.
"Do you still love her?" You ask. Of course, he does. He's a romantic, waiting for his long-lost love to return. But he looks at you, with a worried expression. Like he wanted to reassure you that wasn't the case.
"I..I do." He says softly. You feel your chest aching still, and you clench the blanket in your fists on either side of you. "I think so? I-I'm not sure." He groans, running his hands through his hair. "Is that terrible of me?" 
You think for a moment. You have to tread lightly. If he truly loves her, it might be best for you to keep your distance to avoid any.. confusion. You let out a defeated sigh, placing your hand on his shoulder to bring his panicked attention back to you.
"Not at all. It's.. nice. That you can love someone that much, especially after all this time." He smiles in return, placing a hand over top of yours.
"How long has it been, do you think?"
"Hmm.. From what I remember.. when were hot air balloons invented?" He genuinely questioned.
"Good lord."
(The answer is over 300 years ago)
You stopped visiting him for a while. After that night, you needed to step away and consider what you were really doing. He's not just an immortal vampire, he's an immortal vampire still holding out hope for a woman he hasn't seen in centuries. And you're just a human. That kind of relationship only works in movies. The sleep schedule you've created has nearly destroyed your social life and you barely have energy in the daytime anymore. Maybe it was for the best to keep your distance. But you have to tell him that. You can't just disappear, he doesn't deserve to feel that pain, again.
You enter his tower as usual, bringing an empty bag to escort some of your belongings back home. To your apartment, your awful tiny apartment. You avoid comparing it to the elegant manor, it's only making you want to back out. You go through the hall, swinging his workshop door open.
"Luciferrr! Sorry to be away for so long, but I think we should talk." You look around to realize you are speaking to an empty room. You look back to the hall. You've never been through any of the other rooms, but he had to be somewhere. And he wasn't responding to your calls.
You open each door carefully, seeing mostly empty storage and cobwebs. One of the rooms was filled to the brim with clothing from all decades. You make a mental note to tease him for playing dress up, later.
You knock at each door, finally opening one that greets you with the warmth of a bedroom. And by warmth, you mean it. You take any coat you were wearing off, finally spotting Lucifer lying in the elegant bed in the center of the room.
"Huh.. I thought you said vampires don't need sleep." You call out, letting your eyes scan the room as you approach the bedside. He's curled up and unresponsive. His sudden panting briefly eased your nerves, at least he’s breathing.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to just barge in, but.. Lucifer? Are you okay?" You reach out and place your hand to his shoulder. He's hot to the touch. You move his body so that he's lying on his back, and he seems even more distressed.
"L-Lucifer..? Lucifer!" You try to speak quietly, but his actions are making you nervous. He finally shoots upward, gripping his bare chest in an attempt to calm his rapid breathing. He does a double take, not believing that you were at his side. Not to mention your scared expression, which is only causing him more concern.
"I-I'm alright! I'm okay.." He lets out a sigh, brushing his hair back. He scans the room, peering out the window. "Ah, nighttime already? I'm sorry, darling, I didn't mean to worry you." He turns back to you, seeing your still-shaken expression. "I slept in! It's okay!" He reassures, patting the side of his bed. You hesitate, but sit down either way.
"I thought.. You didn’t need sleep." You say softly, looking to calm yourself.
"I don't, but it is relaxing sometimes."
"That didn't look relaxing at all."
"Well.. I did say only sometimes." You let out a quiet chuckle and it brings a smile to his face.
"I rest when I'm feeling a bit weak, usually a quick nap helps. But.. sometimes I get nightmares and they're-" You interrupt him.
"Weak? Why are you feeling weak? Did something happen?" You lean in, still feeling uneasy.
"... Just a bit. Don't get me wrong, I am quite powerful-” He loves to gloat about his abilities, your usual reactions of amazement never got old. “-but.. this tower takes its toll on me sometimes. It takes a lot of energy to set up illusions and tricks to keep humans out. I just needed a quick pick me up, that's all." That seemed to calm you a bit, but it did bring up another concern.
"Lucifer.. why do you keep coming back here? Is it worth the trouble? Is.. she worth the trouble?" You ask timidly. His eyes are soft, looking in your direction. It turns you a bit red, you hope you can blame it on the heat of the room if he asks.
"I don’t know.. I’ve been thinking. I-If Lillith has any plans on returning, I'd think she would've done so by now." You feel hopeful, but you attempt to not let it show. "But, I've been here for centuries and I've grown rather fond of... the atmosphere." He tries to reason. He pulls your chin forward, greeting you with a sweet smile. "I'm alright, I promise."
You can't help but return the smile, but you miss his touch once he pulls away. At this point, you're finally taking in his appearance. He's covered in sweat, the bags under his eyes are tremendous and his lips are trembling a bit to keep up a smile.
"Are you sure? You still seem.." You reach your hand out, as if you were about to touch his face, but you see him reel back.
"Clearly, I didn't get a good night's rest.. maybe you should head home, dear, I'm not much fun to be around when I'm like this.." He sulks, making it a point to avoid looking at you. With just the sight of you, he might as you to stay.
"No!" His wide-eyed expression shows that you've clearly just embarrassed yourself. "No, I mean- I don't want to leave. Can I help? Can you.. drink my blood or something? Would that do anything?" He's immediately blushing at your suggestion, right to the tips of his ears. He quickly declines.
"No. Nonono.. That is not happening." He crosses his arms over his still bare chest, which neither of you has mentioned yet. That’s not to say you haven't been staring.
"Would it help?" You ask. He sighs and nods. "Would it kill me?" He shakes his head. "Not if I'm careful.."
"Will it turn me into a vampire or something?" He shakes his head, again.
"Then do it. I want to help you! It's the least I can do since you’ve been so sweet to me." You say sternly, beginning to move the strap of your shirt, revealing a bare shoulder.
"Woah woah, okay. Fine.. I’ll just take a little. Since you're so insistent." He moves your strap back up your shoulder carefully. "And there's no need for that, dear, don't get too excited." He teases. He looks like he’s on the brink of death, yet he still manages to make fun of you.
"I-I'm not excited! Shut up.." you stammer, as you feel him pull your hand towards him, keeping a grip just below your wrist.
"Whatever you say." His smirk has you blushing, again." you ready?" You nod your head, attempting to keep a straight face despite the reality of the situation.
He leans forward to face you, and you move closer to be more comfortable. With his clawed hands still holding your arm delicately, he brings your palm to his lips. You feel his hot breath against your skin and instinctively flex your hand. He stops abruptly and looks at you.
"I-I'm fine, just do it already!" He rolls his eyes and positions his fangs right at the pulse point on your wrist. With a deep breath from both of you, he sinks his teeth into your flesh. The skin is thin there, so it wasn't as painful as you thought it would be.
It's awkward for a moment, you don't feel any different at first. But looking towards Lucifer, you see his eyes turning that glowing crimson red that had startled you when you first met. Sure, it still startled you now, but it was Lucifer. He's not as scary as he looks, you tell yourself. You feel a breath of hot air from his nostrils, realizing he had been holding his breath this whole time. His eyes fluttered shut, and that's when you felt it.
It felt like getting your blood drawn, but his fangs were less painful than the needles somehow. You'd only notice your hand start to fall asleep after a while. But his expression stopped you from saying anything. His heavy breaths against your skin, as he occasionally pulled away to lick the wound clean, only to sink his teeth back in the same spot. You placed your free hand over your mouth to prevent any noises from escaping your lips. He pulled off for a moment, then sunk his teeth in another spot, feverishly placing multiple bite marks across the entirety of your wrist. You attempt to speak up through your hand.
"L-Lucifer.. I-I'm..!" He stops almost immediately, sitting up straight and blinking his eyes back to their usual hue. He looks down to your wrist, a mess of bite marks, all still leaking your crimson blood. Your hand had fallen slack.
"Sorry! Sorry-" He runs his tongue across the wounds, it seemed to stop the blood for now. "How do you feel?" Your eyes are dazed a bit, and when you go to prop yourself up on your previously ravished wrist you fall forward. He catches you by your arms, before you can fall away from the bed. You shake your head, finally looking at him through half-lidded eyes.
"I'm okay.." you say weakly. He's nervously trying to keep your head up, and brushing hair away from your face. He moves to the other side of the bed, and brings you along to lie down beside him. He sits on his knees to examine you, keeping a hand cupping your cheek. It's cool to the touch again, a relief for you. You shakily place your hand on top of his, then look towards him. "You look amazing, Lucifer~" You say with a dizzy smile. Despite the wording, you were right. His skin had brightened up, and he instantly lost the bags from his eyes.
"I might've done too much.." He mumbled, tracing his free hand across your wrist. "You're starting to sound crazy."
"No..! I mean it, you're just.. beautiful.. quite a sight." You're delirious. He starts to worry, suppressing his excitement for the oncoming compliments. He'll have to let you rest, no matter how disappointed that made him. He'd missed your company these past few days.
"Whatever you say, darling. Go ahead and rest, I'll get you some water." And he does just that.
You had left some water bottles and snacks here a few months ago, so he hastily took those and brought them back to you. He set everything on the nightstand and went over to open the glass doors to the balcony of his room, bringing in a fresh night breeze. He put an actual shirt on, finally, on the way to look over you from the side of the bed. 
You were just sitting up, leaning against the headboard as you took a very needed gulp of water.
"So? How did I taste?" You tease, stretching your hand now that you’re regaining feeling.
"Delicious." He sounds flirtatious but almost serious. It has you blushing.
Lucifer had gone off to work on something after you insisted you'd be fine and just needed a few more minutes of rest. That didn't go how you expected. You came here to set some boundaries and here you are in his bed, covered in bite marks. The implications alone made you groan from embarrassment.  And slightly in disbelief. You huff and attempt to stand, it’s not too bad, then move to the balcony and lean against the railing. The breeze ran through your hair and across your heated face, you let out a sigh of relief.
"Feeling better, dear?" His voice has you turning your head a bit, and you greet him with a smile. You nod your head before returning your eyes to the town below.
“I’m glad. Thank you, for.. Letting me do that.” He says, sounding a bit shy. He joins you, leaning against the railing by your side. You both stand in silence for a moment.
"I think I'm in love with you, Lucifer." Maybe it was the blood loss or the sheer exhaustion, but something just forced those words from you. You keep your eyes away from him. If this could be the last time you see him, bringing this dream to an end, then you might as well let it out.
"O-Oh..! Hm! Well, that's uh.." He hoots, and you see his hands flexing against the railing. He can't even form a real response.
"It's stupid, I know. I'm a human, and you're this crazy immortal being. Plus, you just drank my blood. Maybe I'm still delirious.." You continue to toy with your gifted necklace, still keeping your eyes low. You don't know how you would react if you could see his expression right now.
"So.. you would... you want to be with me?" That's what he asks? That's his response?
"I-I mean.. yeah. You're my best friend, you're handsome and smart, and you're inventive and... I just love being around you. I want to.. I want to make you happy, but I just don't know if that's something I can do." Your gaze is finally brought to his when his claws gently guide your chin towards him. His expression is that of pure infatuation. You'd never expect to see him look like this, not when looking at you.
"You make me plenty happy, darling." Your eyes go wide.
"You're bright and fun, and you're adorably curious- I just worry as well. I'll outlive you. I've been locked up here for so long, I don't know how much I can offer you.. but it's definitely less than you deserve." His words send a pain to your chest. You both know, based on fact alone, it just wouldn't work.
"I only want you to be happy as well, love." His words force a nervous sigh from you. This seems like a night for bold decisions, so you decide to make another. You turn to face him, bring him in by his collar, and press your lips against his in one fell swoop. Giving him no time to comprehend the situation, he lets out a muffled exclamation into your lips. It felt like hours before you feel his hands on your waist, and his lips desperately ravishing yours. He pulls you closer to him, his hands now reaching your hips and gripping you tighter. You pull his lower lip down with your thumb, keeping a hand on his jaw as you do so, and begin to explore his mouth with your tongue feverishly. A small yelp at the boldness comes from Lucifer before his forked tongue is dancing with yours. You can still taste your own blood on his lips.
He turns the both of you, having your back pressed against the railing of the balcony, giving him the chance to corner you into being as close as possible. He leans his chest into yours, moving in even more. You're leaning over the railing just slightly, but one of his hands is firmly planted against your back, giving you a sense of security. The other is still gripping at your hips, occasionally slipping upwards to brush the bare skin beneath your top, his cool touch acting as a reminder that this is really happening. He props his knee between your legs, having to force them apart gently to do so.
You pull away with a deep exhale after realizing you've been anxiously holding your breath this whole time. Even leaning away from him, your mind was running rapidly with thoughts of his body. You trace your thumb over his lips, parting them just slightly to examine his fangs. He's turning red with the close inspection.
"W-What are you doing..?" You understand what he's trying to say, but his words are still muffled by your hold on him. He sees your eyes ponder for a moment before you look back to him.
"Bite me." You say sternly. Your hand slips away from his mouth and you start speckling small kisses across his forehead and cheeks, lifting his head slightly with a kiss to his jaw.
"Excuse me?? You want-" You hush his stammering by pulling back, to look into his eyes one more time.
"I want you to bite me.. my neck, I mean." You clearly weren't budging. He still seems hesitant but proceeds to move any hair away from your shoulder
"What, does someone enjoy being bitten?” He asks in a teasing tone, looking at you with a smirk. With a deadpan expression, your eyes brimming with lust, you take a hold of his collar again and pull him into a messy kiss. When you pull back, you see a dazed Lucifer, struggling to keep eye contact.
“Yes.”
He huffs, completely enthralled in your enthusiasm, but still seeming nervous. He pulls the strap to your shirt to the side, examining your collarbone and neck. You hear him gulp, as he runs his hand upward until it’s cradling the back of your head.
“I tend to lose myself a little. You saw what happened before, are you sure-"
"I'm sure. I'll tell you if you have to stop." Still very adamant about it, Lucifer pulls your head to one side as you keep your grip on his shirt, balling the fabric in your fists with anticipation.
He places a small kiss first, the action causing you to flinch slightly. You feel him smile on your neck, clearly enjoying your reaction. He kisses every inch of you, each one becoming sloppier than the last.
After thoroughly leaving you in a dazed state of affection, he traces his face to the softest part of your neck, just above your collarbone, and quickly snaps through the skin. With a startled yelp, you glide your hand upward until you've taken a tight grip onto his hair. You barely have time to appreciate how soft it is before you feel the sensation of his fangs piercing a different spot of flesh.
He doesn't seem to be taking much blood.. Definitely not as much as before and not as quickly. It's leaving your head slightly fuzzy, making any sensations, any marks he's leaving on your body, blur into an overall bliss. You're thoughtlessly letting out little moans and gasps at each bite, only encouraging him to keep it up. You feel the vibrations of his groaning against your skin as he moves to hold you tightly around your waist. After a few moments, you start to feel a bit woozy, your body completely melting into his touch. You tap his shoulder quickly,
"Ah.. Lucifer-" Just as before, he made sure to clean any wounds that were still dripping with blood, but he went on to embellish each one with a kiss before pulling away. He looks at you with concern, cupping your cheek and bracing the weight of your lulling head. You smile and hum into his palm.
"How are you doing, darling?" He actively inspects your entirety before meeting your eyes again.
"Lovely~" You say with a drunken chuckle. He pulls you in for another kiss, before easily scooping you up.
"Alright, then.. let's get you to bed, you little perv.” You hit his chest to the best of your ability in your weakened state. His laughter is music to your ears. You’re too tired to worry about how this will affect your relationship. Or your physical health for that matter. But for now, nothing has felt more comforting than his arms wrapped around your body, the cold soothing the heated moment, and your dizzy mind.
♡♡♡
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!Taglist!
( @vififofum / @thornwolfy235 / @tinywolfiegirl / @chipper-chip / @bat-boness / @misfitgirlwrites / @nayomi247 / @lonelynmisunderstood / @escapistoftherealworld / @b4ts1e / @hamthepan / @kyo-kyo1 / @looking1016 / @polytheatrix / @littledolly2345 / @lillianastuff / @yourlocalcryptidbee /@0strawberrysorbet0 / @themageofblood / @jayyyayaysblog / @floralsightings / @azmosposts / @8har0ley8 / @actuallyspiderwoman / @sirenetheblogger / @christineblood / @kaytemchugh / @cimadreamer / @simpdevil66 / @azmosposts / @m3ow1 / @acrazyartist / @redfoxwritesstuff / @4k1to / @meesachan / @corvusskid / @alientee /@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx / @alon3lylov3r /@sapphireravensworld / @mjmdragons / @catticora / @the-maladaptivedaydreamer / @carrie0-1 / @shamblezzz / @cassandras-nest )
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lover-of-mine · 1 day
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I've been thinking while chilling in the they cast Ryan with a plan delusionland, but specifically what it would take to give Buck the most satisfying love story possible. Because Buck was written as the love interest. His purpose in season 1 is to give something to the main character. And ever since, he's been there to provide something to his love interests even though he's the main character now, he gave Ali a place to stay, he gave Taylor professional advancement (and this one is made worse by her book), he gave Natalia inside information on death, so he's constantly providing things without getting anything substantial in return, much like with Abby and the way that he was just a device to make her feel better about her life. And the main thing here is that Buck is being pursued in order to offer something. He's never the one to go after them, he's the one being chased in a sense, Abby calls him, Ali calls him, Taylor kisses him, Natalia asks him out, Tommy kisses him, so these people want something from him and they take it, most of the time without giving him something in return, Abby forces him to get closure by himself, Ali leaves him because she can't handle the job, where do I even begin with Taylor. So if you think about it, considering the initial way Buck was written, and the way they expanded this to the point that he was literally born to offer something to someone who provided him with nothing (in this case his parents), or the way Maddie shows up because she needs the safety he could provide (I'm not saying Maddie doesn't provide him with anything, I know she does so much for him, but she did show up because she needed a place to hide) his main love interest needs to be someone who's not asking him for stuff. And that's been Eddie since he was introduced. Under Pressure is about Buck choosing Eddie. Eddie tries, but when he realizes Buck is serious about not liking him, he validates Buck's feelings, granted in his sassy way of his, and backs off until he has a chance to give Buck the choice to let him in. You can have my back any day. The phrasing of this is great for the whole Eddie trusts Buck to take care of him, he's not saying he will take care of Buck, he's giving Buck the option of taking care of him. But the thing there is that he puts the choice in Buck's hands. Buck could've walked away. Even Buck's reactions to the way Eddie says it shows a moment where Buck is considering before offering the or you can have mine. The metaphor surrounding the rescue in this context is interesting because while Eddie is choosing Buck right there, he's not forcing Buck to step in. Much like the ambulance, Eddie is offering himself, but he's not forcing anyone to go into the ambulance and risk getting blown up with him. Buck needs to volunteer. And he does.
I know the fandom loves to say Eddie baby trapped Buck, but Buck was the one who took one look at Eddie and said I'm stepping in with you whether you like it or not. Eddie never demanded anything from Buck beyond for Buck to be himself. He never asked for help with Chris, Buck chose to talk to Bobby to clear him being at the station, Buck chose to trick Eddie to offer him help in the form of Carla. Sure, when it's convenient for the plot, Eddie will just decide on things, but like, even the lawsuit of it all, when Eddie is inserting himself into the conflict, Buck is ready to be forced to provide Eddie with something to be forgiven "so whatever it takes for you to forgive me" but Eddie is instantly "I forgive you" because he doesn't need for Buck to prove himself. Over and over again, the show puts Eddie in a position that shows that he just loves Buck. No matter what. He never asked Buck to provide him with something. I think even the will and the way Eddie hides it plays into this. He doesn't want to ask for Buck to do this. Eddie knows Buck will do it, he knows how much Buck loves Chris, but the will reveal is not really about Eddie asking Buck to do something for him, taking care of Chris if he can't because the episode already showed Buck doing that without knowing that was what Eddie wanted, but to give Buck that shock that he does have something to live for, that he matters, that someone loves him. Eddie exists as the person that allows Buck to make his own decisions. He does push back when he thinks Buck needs that push but he doesn't make the choice for him. Even if Buck ever decides to walk away from him, he'll let him if that's what Buck really wants, because ultimately it will be Buck's choice and he respects that. And ultimately, with the archetype they had in mind when they created Buck, that is what Buck needs for him to be in the most satisfying romantic relationship narratively. Buck needs someone who loved him before they were in love with him. And that is the work they have been putting towards buddie since Eddie was introduced. And that's also why Buck is the one who needs to start his endgame relationship. It's never gonna feel right until Buck chooses to do something about it because everything about him is about someone else making the choice.
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hoes4hoseok · 2 days
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enhypen as the tortured poets department
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pairings :: ot7 x gn!reader (if i accidentally slipped in a gender-related mistake please let me know!) genres :: angst & fluff warnings :: swearing, alcohol, mentions of food, sorta emotional cheating, reader being down bad ™️ word count :: 2.1k author’s note :: thanks to ogs @sunoosill and @fandomgirl489 for helping me hehe love you guys! also i kind of tried something new with this one, they're actual little fics this time so let's see how it's recieved 😭 that being said i lowkey hate this. i started doubting all my choices once i was like 60% done but this took an embarrassingly long time. also this is unedited because i'm sick of this draft. i hope y'all enjoy though!
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ni-ki as my boy only breaks his favorite toys
“i felt more when we played pretend than with all the kens cause he took my out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts, told me i’m better off, but i’m not”
ni-ki swept 👏 you 👏 off 👏 your 👏 feet 👏 when you first met
because he doesn't seem like he'd necessarily approach a relationship the same way as everyone else just because everyone else is doing it
so when he asked you out he was pretty nonchalant about it (even if that wasn’t how he was feeling)
&& it all felt so romantic because you’d do things like get dessert in the middle of the night & then drive into the hills together 
especially because he didn’t treat you the same way as the other people he dated — a fact his friends confirmed.
he was passive about it all before you.
there wouldn’t be any doubt that he loved you because he most certainly did
not to be cliché but he made you see the world differently! & more importantly, he made you see romantic relationships differently
but you could tell that he had a sense of uncertainty around you
not because he was uncertain about his feelings for you
but an uncertainty that told him that he needed to spend each moment like it could be taken away from him in the blink of an eye
he knew he was feeling too much — he knew you were feeling too much
because ultimately, he was unsure about whether he was right for you.
so he left you, promising that you’d be better off without him.
you weren’t.
sunoo as down bad
“for a moment i knew cosmic love, now i’m down bad, crying at the gym”
sunoo would be such a good boyfriend on paper
he'd buy you flowers & give great hugs, of course, but he'd also be supportive & reassure you when you felt insecure and unsure about your place in the world
that being said, sunoo is not one to string people along
so the moment he realized that he wasn’t 100% in, he made a plan to end things & he did.
&&...losing sunoo fucked you up. it would fuck anyone up, to be fair.
finding out that he was leaving you when the relationship was everything to you would catch you off guard, to say the least.
he probably left feeling proud of himself for doing everything right too LMAO 😭 
&& yes, i don't think it's anything he did that made it so bad
it's just that break-ups suck & you really loved him! even if he “did everything right”
no matter how it transpired, you were still in shambles at the end 
you broke down in tears at the sight of anything that made you think of him
from the smell of gardenias in a grocery store
‘he bought me those 🤧! for our first anniversary 🤧!’
to the most upbeat song you’ve ever heard coming on shuffle while you work out
‘he loved that song’ (even if you couldn’t stand it)
&& you really hoped he was feeling a shred of what you were 
but it sure as hell didn’t seem that way.
jungwon as fresh out the slammer
“all those nights, you kept me going, swirled you into all of my poems”
you & jungwon had a lot of your own problems to deal with the first time you dated
likely because he had a lot on his plate at the time as an idol & you were just at different places in your lives
&& even though your brain was telling you not to, you fell in love fast
he’d taken you to a quiet spot in his hometown that he used to go to when he was overwhelmed as a kid
it was an old swingset at the park where, somehow, everything else had been renovated
the two of you sat there for hours with your hands entwined, talking about your futures 
&& the possibility of them ending in the same place.
it felt childish & implausible, but you wanted to believe it
&&, as the break up proved to you, it was, in fact, childish & implausible to believe that your lives could magically become compatible
you tried to move on, you really did. you dated other people for years. 
one boyfriend stuck around for four years. a coworker. your future with him felt written in stone.
he was good to you, but there was a part of your heart that yearned for more
the part that yearned for the type of connection you had on the swingset all those years ago
you didn't spend that time waiting for jungwon — you accepted that you were going to spend your life content with your boyfriend
but you sometimes thought about what it would be like if you met jungwon under different circumstances or another life where his career wasn’t so controlling and demanding of him
you would smile listening to his music (that you subconsciously hoped was about you) 
&& checked how he was doing online periodically
but then you were single. it was something your boyfriend said about not seeing a future here. not seeing a future with you. when you gave him four years of your life. 
you knew you should have felt more, that you should have been torn apart for months
but a week later, you picked up the phone & dialed the number that had been seared into your brain for six years
“y/n?”
his voice was almost a whisper.
“do you think you could take me to that park again tonight?”
“i’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
“thank you.”
“y/n?”
“yeah?”
“i missed you.”
heeseung as the alchemy
“where’s the trophy? he just comes running over to me”
when you started dating heeseung, you knew it would be really easy for him to put you low on his priority list being an idol
&& you wouldn’t have blamed him for that 
because your careers are important, especially at this point in your lives (also your exes probably did that with much less demanding jobs)
but he didn’t! he told you it would be tough but that he’d try his best to make sure you had time together even with his insane packed schedule
&& try he did omg 🤭 that man put in the WORK
he would show up towards the end of your workday just to whisk you off on a date 🫶
which you not-so-secretly loved for two reasons:
one: it reminded you that he loved you & valued your career as much as you valued his
two: he’s really hot. so it’s fun to see everyone’s reaction to him showing up heehee
&& after your workday he’d take you wherever you wanted
but you’re indecisive at times, so he’d just guess sometimes.
it was usually your favorite restaurant or a massage parlor, but once he literally took you to the airport for a getaway? who knows what he has planned lmfao
you loved getting surprised by your boyfriend, of course, but the nights when you were at his concert to support him? those meant the world to you.
you swore that you’d never forget the look on his face when he realized you were in the crowd the first time you surprised him
but honestly? his excitement never faltered. he still wears that childish grin every time he sees you showing up for him
&& the post concert kisses are incomparable to all the others 
because he kisses you like you’re the stars in a rom-com. every. damn. time — whether it’s backstage or in front of 20,000 people.
jay as chloe or sam or sophia or marcus
“if you want to break my cold, cold heart, just say ‘i loved you the way that you were’”
jay was hurting you
with every instagram post he uploaded with a woman you didn’t recognize,
at every red carpet appearance where he had someone else on his arm,
with every polite smile he greeted you with when you crossed paths.
you broke up with him. years ago, at that. you had no right to feel this way.
his mind seemed scattered in your time together & he was unsure about most everything
at first, it had seemed like you were the exception to that.
until you weren’t.
when you broke it off, you told him you loved him. & that maybe you always would.
he might have loved you.
but if that was the case, he never told you.
on occasion, you thought about how he felt seeing you date around aimlessly.
had he done the mature thing & moved on?
did his jaw clench seeing another man kiss you the same way it did before you dated?
did he care about what you were thinking as much as you did about him? 
there were times that you’d stare at his contact, finger hovering above the ‘call’ button
almost hoping your finger would slip so you’d have the chance, the smallest chance to hear him say
“i loved you the way that you were.”
(i really want to write a oneshot about this actually? maybe?)
jake as so high school
“get my car door, isn’t that sweet, then pull me to the backseat, no one’s ever had me, not like you”
jake was so obsessed with you before y’all started dating HEHE probably from the first time that he had a conversation with you!
he was so enthralled by the way you think & see the world
&& he blushed and stumbled on his words every time he talked to you for months & his friends would tease him RELENTLESSLY
he got so nervous before following you on social media that he had to employ his friends to help.
“guys, just press it for me. i can’t look!”
he probably thought about asking you out on many occasions but chickened out for one reason or another every time
but then he saw you at the local convenience store while he was out getting ramen at 2 a.m. — or rather, you saw him.
"jake?" he'd know that voice anywhere. oh god oh god oh god oh god
he needed a moment to compose himself, but he pulled himself together enough to look up at you & greet you properly <3
his stress slipped away fairly fast after that & you found yourselves shopping for your respective midnight snacks together
"have you tried this one? it's probably my favorite limited edition flavor" you had said, pointing to your favorite candy
which, naturally, he responded to by pulling a handful into his basket 😚
you didn't know whether he wanted to try it because you liked it or he was buying it for you, but either way, you found it endearing
after you both paid, jake took your groceries in his other hand, declaring that he'd carry them to your car for you
which, of course, wasn't possible. you had walked.
😧...😟...😶...🤔...☝️😲 "i could give you a ride! i don't want you walking home alone at this hour. or i could call you an uber if you're not comf—"
"i'd really like that"
&& then his heart would damn near explode at the sight of your smile. because how could it not.
he fumbled with the bags before opening the passenger door for you
&& on the drive there he'd stare at you with heart eyes while you talked at every red light
you'd have to tell him it turned green because he was just so distracted hehe
oh my god not this being my second fic about jake driving you home,, 🫣 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I DON'T PLAN THESE I JUST GO WITH WHAT FEELS RIGHT
i'm just hilarious, this does not show anything about what i want irl, absolutely nothing.
sunghoon as i look in people’s windows
"what if your eyes looked up & met mine one more time?"
you & sunghoon had a mutual break up, but it didn't feel that way a month after it happened
especially not when you were walking alone down the street his friend lived on & noticed the light shining through the large window
contrary to what you told yourself (i don’t even care if he’s in there) you approached the warm light warily
you didn’t really know whether you were hoping to see him in there, but you did — he was laughing with a few people, glass of wine in hand
&&…you weren’t expecting a flood of memories to overcome you in the way they did.
memories from when you were invited. memories from when you called them “our” friends & not “his” friends. memories from when you were the one making him laugh.
you didn’t notice your mouth fall agape or the tears welling in your eyes until sunghoon met your gaze with a tilt of his head, his smile falling as he registered your presence
for a moment, your mind rushed to decipher the look on his face — the way his eyebrows were slightly furrowed, the way his mouth fell agape too — the same expressions you used to be able to read so well.
finally tearing your gaze from sunghoon, you noticed his friends turning back to look out for whatever it was that made their friend so unsettled
they never saw you. you ran before they could.
perhaps if you had stayed a moment longer, you would have heard the front door open.
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txt version ☆ midnights version ☆ masterlist
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armenianwriterman · 2 days
Text
So, this is it. The end of Rooster Teeth. The end of something I spent half of my life watching. I got into RT through randomly stumbling across Season 1 of Death Battle by chance and I never looked back. I spent more than half of my life watching their stuff, laughing along with their jokes, and being inspired by the people who made it. They were a source of joy in my life, especially in times when I really needed it. The talent and passion of those that worked there always shined through on everything they did. To those who worked there, I'm sorry it ended the way it did, and I wish them the best of luck as you go forwards. I'll always remember the heart and soul they put in, the engrossing stories they told, and hilarious insanity you really can't find anywhere else.
But, while there was a lot of good, there was also a lot of bad. The crunch, the toxic bro culture, the sexual predator that worked there for 12 years, it was a mess. It is horrible that any of this happened at all, and to those who were effected by it, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I felt terrible about being sad it closing for this reason, but after some reflection, I think what I'm really sad about is how much it meant to people. Me, the other fans, and all the employees, anyone who saw the goodbye stream could testify to that.
From that shared meaning spawned a community that I was a part of. One that unquestionably had a lot of problems as well, (I'm definitely not going to miss the anti-woke grifters when they inevitably move on to the next thing), but a community nonetheless. I don't really talk about my personal life on here much but, I'm not good with social interactions or maintaining relationships with people I don't see daily. I haven't ever really had a job before despite my attempts to get one, and well, given that I want to work in the TV/Film industry and the state that it's currently in...yeah. I sometimes feel like a failure, wonder why I should even bother trying.
But with RT, I had a community of people who were like me. People who I could nerd out with and not really worry about alienating. People I could laugh and cry with. I felt like I had a place here like I never really did elsewhere. One of my big regrets is that I never had the opportunity to go to a fan event and meet others in my community in person. But the good news is, despite the company closing, the community is still going to stick around for a long time. The fanmade archives are a thing, and many of the shows are either already going to continue, or in talks to continue.
Tonight, I decided to watch one final thing on their website and I chose Red vs Blue Season 13, partly because it's one of my favorite, if not the favorite, things this media company ever put out. But I also chose it because of the ending. Because even when things are bleak, even when the future is uncertain, there will always be hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that your friends (and Rooster Teeth employees in this case) will all eventually be okay. In other words, because in the end, you just have to have faith. Ain't that a bitch?
Being a fan wasn't always easy, but I look around at everyone talking about what Rooster Teeth and its community meant to them, and I know that is why we were here. And I'm glad I was here with all of you.
❤️🤍🖤💛, 🟨🟨🟨🟨⬛, 🔴🆚🔵
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giddyfatherchris · 1 day
Text
At your mercy
pairing. han jisung x afab!reader
type. requested
warnings. suggestive, MDNI! we get to see more of dom han👀 and curse words
words. ~2k
a/n. thank you to my angel @solisyeah for this request i hope you’ll like it!! also, dom han lives rent free in my head:) and this fic is a continuation of han’s part in this text fic we made in collab
a/n2. the first time i wrote this it was kinda really frickin toxic and I'm sorry but I just couldn't. being in a dom relationship does NOT EQUAL that toxic behaviors are okay. boundaries are important people! and what can I say I'm a whore for ppl who respect them:) hope you enjoy xxx
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You're so flushed when you head out of the lunch room that you want to crawl under the earth's crust, as opposed to your boyfriend walking out like he owns the world. He's cocky and particularly satisfied when he notices Seungmin trying to avoid at all cost to lock eyes with you or him. You try to get rid of the aura of sex surrounding you and decide to sit near Felix while Hannie gets back to the recording booth as if nothing happened. He gives you a cocky wink, but you quickly advert your eyes, feeling your cheeks heat up with fire once more. You're determined to move on, so you focus on your friend to notice Felix really looks down in the dumps. "Hey, you okay?" you ask while nudging his shoulder. 
The blonde boy lets out a heavy sigh, "Not really. Management has been really tough on us these past few weeks. Our schedules keep multiplying, I'm tired and miss my family. I feel like I can't breathe." His eyes fill with tears, breaking your heart in two. Even if Felix is known for being easily moved, he isn't the type to start crying like this in the middle of a room. You gently stroke your hand down his back to comfort him. "Can I do anything to help? I'm so sorry you're going through this. You should have told me earlier instead of enduring this all alone." 
He quickly wipes his tears away before anyone notices and whispers. "Can I have a hug?"
You immediately wrap your arms around his neck to bring him closer to your body. You won't pull away from this hug before he does. From the way he clings to you, you know he needs this. Suddenly, he pulls you on his lap to lay his head better in the crook of your neck. You don't mind the physical touch, Felix and the other boys had always been a touchy bunch, so you kept stroking his soft hair, shushing sweet nothings to console him. 
What you don't notice is your boyfriend's piercing death stare from across the recording booth as he stares at the way his member's head is lying on your skin, how tightly you hold him and how you are sitting on his goddamn lap. Felix and you are in a bubble of your own, lost in your little world when you hear a familiar ping from your phone. Without letting go, you reach out for your device, your eyes turning round as saucers as you notice the texts coming from your boyfriend. They keep popping up on the screen in a raging litany. They come so fast that you barely have the time to read them all.
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One second you're hugging your friend the next a firm grip is roughly pulling you off his lap. You lift surprised eyes to see a fuming Jisung. His gaze is set on his junior with an aggressive spark. Everyone stares in silence at the scene, shocked to see such a demeanor coming from one of the most peaceful members.
"It's time for Y/n to go. They have things to do." 
You can barely mutter a confused 'what?' when he grabs your things, shoves them in your hands, gives you a quick kiss on the cheek, and pushes you out of the room. The door behind you closes in a slam, leaving you alone, feeling on your back the baffled gaze of the other boys through the glass.
"Ji, what the" you barely hear Bang Chan start, but he's quickly shut down by the boy's poisonous tone. You don't know what he said, but from the way Chan's mouth is hanging out open, it was not good. You watch your boyfriend head to the booth, put back on his headphones, and resume his verse like nothing happened for the second time today. 
You head home completely enraged with his behavior. You never minded his dominant side. In fact, you loved it, but today was too much. The first thing with Seungmin was hot, even if it had raised warning signs in your brain. The way he kept it going with Felix was something else. He crossed a limit you couldn't tolerate.
When he gets home hours later, he's back to being his cute usual self. He babbles about his day while you stare silently at him from your seat at the table.
After a while, he notices you haven't said a word since he got home. He finally turns to you with questions in his big eyes. "Is everything okay, sweetheart?"
You stare back with flames in yours. You're basically breathing fire. "I don't know Ji. Are you okay? I don't know what was up with you today, but I don't want you to do something like that ever again. There's a difference between being dominant and being an asshole. Felix is one of my best friends and one of yours too. He really wasn't feeling well. You know I would never ever leave or cheat on you. He just needed comfort. I will not allow you to throw me around like a rag doll and act like that towards me or your friends."
His soft expression vanishes with your words. Suddenly, he looks like he's burning from the inside too. "Their hands were all over you today." 
"Their?" you furrow your brows in question. "What are you even talking about?"
"First, Seungmin pushes you, bruises you, and then keeps touching you while he apologizes. Then Felix whines and brings you on his lap. I don't get why they think it's okay for them to touch you like that." His hands tighten in fists while you stare at him in disbelief.
"What happened with Seungmin was an accident, and he was just APOLOGIZING! Felix was sad and needed a hug. We've always been like this. I don't know what's your problem, but you better figure it out."
His gaze zeroes on you, and he's fuming at this point. "My problem is that you are mine. No one else gets to touch you like that. Only I get to leave marks on your body. Only I get to have you writhing on my lap. Only me. I don't get why you don't understand that. I don't get why you're being such a brat right now."
"That's not what this is about. You being dominant and possessive in our private life is something. Having you push me out of a room and throw fits because our friends touched me in a platonic way is another. I'm not some object you can control to your will. If I decide to hug my friend for 30 fucking minutes because he needs it, it's no one else's business. Especially not you. I've had my fair share of experiences with toxic pricks. I need to make sure this is not happening again." 
Pleasure and toxic conduct are two different things. You won't let him get away with this behavior. Even if the tension in the room, the look he keeps giving you, and the way his eyes burn make you want to let him do anything he wants with you, you won't avert your gaze. You have a point to make, and won't shy away from it. 
You start to get nervous when he stays silent, but the way the fire in his eyes slightly dims makes you breathe a little easier. He walks up to you, and you keep your chin up, not showing one inch of weakness. He stops unbearably close, he's not touching you but every inch of your skin feels on fire by his simple proximity. "Listen," he starts in an ushed voice. "I'm sorry about today. I didn't want to make you feel like I was trying to control you. I respect you, and I would never want to make you feel like that. I want you to know I also apologized to Felix and Chan for my attitude. I know it wasn't okay. You just have this way of making me go absolutely berserk." You let go of a breath you didn't know you were holding, relief flooding your blood. "I think I got a little too carried away. I love feeling like you are mine and only mine. And after our little... adventure in the lunchroom, I think my brain was a little fogged up." Your cheeks flush at the mention of what you did. Phantom sensations of his fingers inside of you make shivers run down your spine. "Still, it wasn't okay for me to act the way I did. I truly apologize." His eyes connect with yours, and you only see soft and caring love in his dark orbs, even a hint of shame for the behavior he displayed. 
You feel your fears vanish into nothingness, "I appreciate your apologies, and I'm glad you apologized to the boys. They didn't deserve this. I love what we have going together, but I needed to make clear that I won't tolerate being used or treated like an object." He shakes his head with a nod. You can see he is taking everything you're telling him very seriously. "And I want you to know that I agree. Nobody else should touch me the way you did in that lunchroom earlier," you add with a tempting smile. "I am yours and only yours. Heart, body, mind, and soul." Your breath comes out in small puffs as you look at his plush lips.
"You are?" His own gaze keeps traveling from your eyes to your lips with a dizzying hunger. 
"I am completely at your mercy."
Your eyes lock one last time before he tilts the chair up and it hits the wall with a small thud. His hands are caging you while his lips smash against yours. The kiss he gives you makes your head spin and your pulse accelerate. The way his tongue slips against your own makes you moan in seconds. As suddenly as it started, the kiss ended. You open hazy eyes, a question on your lips, but one of his hands softly wraps around your throat while his feverish gaze burns through your skull. 
"You're my little plaything, aren't you? Just one kiss and you're already panting so much sugar." His eyes are basically undressing you. You feel his hand slip up your thigh to the center of your desire. You're whimpering before his fingers even reach your clothed core. He presses three digits on it once, making you melt on the chair under you. You're waiting for more, you need more but he's not making any further motion. He's looking at you like a predator ready to pounce on his prey and you feel your insides burn like molten fire. You know what he's waiting for. You know what you both need to hear to break past this tension point. 
You lean so close to him you feel his breath fan over your lips, and you're only staring at them when you utter your next words. "I'm a little plaything who needs to be reminded who they belong to."
It's all your boyfriend needs to dive back like a tidal wave, unleashing all the tension accumulated. In a second, your clothes are torn off your body. Soon, your legs are up in the air, your hands gripping his soft curls, and all you can feel is his hot mouth attached to your core as he feeds on you like a starved man.
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anonymousewrites · 2 days
Text
A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Eighteen
Kusuo Saiki x Reader
Chapter Eighteen: Karaoke Party
Summary: Saiki has to go to a class party and just wants to eat sweets. Nothing is ever so simple.
            Saiki sighed in frustration as his apportment continued to cause problems. It was slow going getting to the money he needed to pay for the coffee jelly he’d had after forgetting his wallet, and due to his zebra-print, everyone had noticed him, so he couldn’t teleport away for the money, either. He was pretty stuck, unfortunately, and if he kept going, he’d cause more problems for people with his apportment.
            “Kusuo?”
            Saiki looked up and decided that maybe the world was smiling down on him today (for once in his life). It was (Y/N), wearing a white shirt with strawberries and pink shorts. When did Saiki start noticing fashion outside of himself? When it was (Y/N) looking like a sweet, which Saiki liked just as much as he liked (Y/N).
            “Hi, (Y/N).”
            “You look a little frustrated,” said (Y/N). They sat down opposite him, and unlike if anyone else was presumptuous enough to sit down without asking, Saiki was glad to have them. “Do you need help something?”
            “I forgot my wallet,” admitted Saiki.
            (Y/N) smile and pulled out their, of course, pink wallet. “Well, I was planning on getting myself a sweet, so I have mine. What if I cover for you?”
            “You will?” said Saiki.
            “Yeah.” (Y/N) shrugged as if it was no matter. “I know you’ll pay me back when you can, so it’s no big deal.”
            “Thank you,” said Saiki honestly.
            “Of course,” said (Y/N), calling over a waiter. “But do you mind if I have my snack, first?”
            “…Can I have another coffee jelly? I’ll pay you back for both,” said Saiki. If he was going to be here for a while longer, he might as well have another treat.
            (Y/N) laughed. “Totally.”
They made their order, and Saiki made his before. Once they got their treats, they dug in happily.
            “So, Kusuo, how do you feel about the class trip to the OK Karaoke place that opened up?” asked (Y/N) in an attempt to make conversation.
            “I’m going for the grand chocolate parfait they have,” said Saiki.
            “Not one for singing?” teased (Y/N), knowing he wouldn’t like the attention.
            “Absolutely not,” said Saiki gravely.
            “They’re going to make you,” said (Y/N). “What’s your plan?”
            “Get my parfait and then leave,” said Saiki.
            “Good luck,” said (Y/N). They knew things had a tendency to fall through and force Saiki to recalculate at the last moment.
            “Are you planning on singing?” said Saiki.
            (Y/N) nodded. “Chiyo, Mera, Kokomi, and I promised each other to all sing so none of us felt embarrassed about being the only one of our friend group.” They laughed. “I’m hoping Kokomi isn’t the first one of us since she’ll be a tough act to follow. She can really sing.”
            “Can you?” asked Saiki.
            “I sing in the shower, so that’s as far as my skills go,” said (Y/N) jovially.
            Saiki took a risk. “I’m sure you’ll sound nice.” He wasn’t very open with compliments, but with (Y/N), he never saw the harm. He wanted them to be confident and happy with themself.
            (Y/N) beamed, and their heart thrummed at the compliment from Saiki. “You think so?”
            “Yes,” said Saiki honestly.
            (Y/N) ducked their gaze but smiled softly. “Thanks, Saiki.” They risked a look into his yes. “And, hey, if you really do get forced to sing, I’ll do a duet with you, how about that? Then I can make a fool of myself so you don’t have too much attention.” They could help him out and get a moment with him. A win for (Y/N).
            Saiki’s gaze softened as he looked back at them. They were always so willing to help him. He really needed to pay them back. They were just too good.
            “That would be nice.”
            Saiki hoped to avoid singing, but at least now he’d be with (Y/N) if he had to. That wasn’t too bad. Honestly, he found that maybe he wouldn’t mind if he ended up participating.
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            “Hey, who stopped my song?” said Takahashi as the karaoke machine glitched during his terrible singing (thankfully).
            “Saiki, what will you sing?” said Kaidou.
            “I came to eat,” said Saiki. He had made his order for the grand chocolate parfait instantly, and now he just had to wait and hope it came before he had to sing at all.
            “Saiki, we are here to make memories as a class today,” said Hairo, walking up to their table. “Every person much sing at least once.”
            (Y/N) took the song requester from Hairo.
            “Haven’t you already signed up?” asked Hairo.
            “Oh, yeah, but Kusuo and I were thinking of doing a duet. Getting up on your own is a lot with all these people,” said (Y/N), smiling brightly.
            “Of course! What a good idea, (Y/N)! It builds camaraderie!” said Hairo.
            (Y/N) grinned and winked at Saiki playfully since their plan had worked. Saiki felt his heart warm at their helpfulness and the wink.
            “It’s finally happening!” cried several voices, and everyone looked up at the stage area. It was Teruhashi’s turn. “Teruhashi! The class idol is going to sing!”
            Teruhashi winked. “I feel sort of shy!”
            “I never imagined I would get to hear Teruhashi sing,” said a boy.
            “Her voice is beautiful,” said another, brough to tears.
            “They do realize she hasn’t started singing yet, haven’t they?” said (Y/N), blinking in confusion.
            “They’re being stupid,” said Saiki.
            Saiki is here, too! Welcome to my concert! said Teruhashi.
            This isn’t your concert.
            Teruhashi lifted the microphone and began to sing, perfectly in tone and as beautiful as ever. She sang the perfect song for the perfect pretty girl. Everyone was crying at her amazing performance, both boys and girls, and Teruhashi was living for it.
(Teruhashi) “You know I’m awesome at everything, Don’t bother trying to resist me, I’m such a cute and kind and pretty girl, That soon enough, You’re gonna say ‘Oh, wow’ to me, Oh, you’ll say it to me.”
            Singing aside, those lyrics were the worst, thought Saiki.
            “I’m up next!” said Kaidou excitedly, heading up to the stage. He began to sing, and for anyone listening, it actually was pretty good, but everyone was too busy fawning over Teruhashi to pay attention to him.
            “You can be a professional singer,” praised one boy.
            “I was so moved,” said another.
            “You should be a singer!” said a girl.
            “Me? No way,” laughed Teruhashi.
            “Sing another song!” said another classmate.
            Poor Kaidou’s performance remained ignored the entire time until he slouched back to his table. Saiki clapped since it had been a good song. (Y/N) patted Kaidou’s back.
            “Nice singing,” said Saiki.
            “Yeah, you sounded really good, Kaidou. We were listening,” encouraged (Y/N).
            “(L/N), it’s your turn,” said Hairo, gesturing to the screen.
            “Wish me luck,” said (Y/N), standing up and taking the microphone.
            Taking a deep breath, they began to sing as the song played. Was it perfect? No, absolutely not. But they liked the song (“LOCO” by Itzy, the Japanese version), and they put energy into it, so even when they messed up the lyrics of tune, they could just grin at their friends and continue. Who cared about messing up if their friends were having a good time?
            When the song finished, (Y/N) bowed to applause and sat back down.
            “That was really good, (L/N),” said Kaidou.
            “Thanks. I’m glad people liked it even though I totally messed up,” laughed (Y/N).
            “You sounded nice,” said Saiki. He had enjoyed watching them enjoy themself, and they were as cute as the song they’d sung, so he’d liked it.
            “Really? Thanks, Kusuo,” said (Y/N), cheeks warm as they smiled.
            “Sorry for the wait,” said a waiter, walking into the room. “Grand chocolate parfait—”
            “It’s here.” Saiki raised his hand.
            “That’s mine!” said a boy at another table.
            What? Did someone order one before me? thought Saiki in alarm.
            “It came as soon as I ordered it,” said the boy. “It took less than a minute.”
            Saiki glowered. “That’s my parfait.” How dare he? I’ve been waiting fifteen minutes!
            “You can always go and ask for it,” suggested (Y/N).
            “That would be rude, so I can’t,” said Saiki. “Besides, he’s already eating it.” So I will make sure the microphone gets feedback when you sing.
            “Well, another fifteen minutes and his will come out for you,” said (Y/N). “So you just need to wait until then.”
            “And nine songs until ours, so I’m safe,” said Saiki.
            “Who’s next?” asked Kaidou.
            “It’s me!” said Nendou, standing up.
            “Yare yare.” Time to shut down my hearing. He looked at (Y/N). He didn’t need the to get brain damage from Nendou’s singing, so he reached out.
            Before he could, Nendou held out another microphone. “Hey, buddy, want to do a duet with me, too?”
            Everyone’s eyes were on Saiki and Nendou. Saiki had no choice. He turned off the lights in the room, making a blackout.
            “What? A blackout?” cried a few students.
            “Everyone calm down!” said Hairo. The lights flashed back on. “There they are.”
            “Okay, let’s sing, pal.” Nendou blinked. Saiki (and (Y/N)) were gone. “Pal? Pinky?”
            In the hall outside of the room, Saiki let out a sigh of relief. Now they couldn’t hear Nendou and he didn’t have to sing.
            “You really don’t want to sing,” chuckled (Y/N).
            Not with Nendou. The only one I’m willing to do it with is you, thought Saiki. “No.” That was all he said aloud though.
            “Why’d you bring me out?” asked (Y/N).
            “Nendou can’t sing. It’s not going to end well,” said Saiki.
            “Poor Nendou,” said (Y/N).
            Of course they’re worried about him, too. Saiki thought (Y/N) was too nice for their own good sometimes.
            “We should head back in soon, though, so you can keep an eye out for your parfait,” said (Y/N).
            “It has gotten quiet,” said Saiki, and the pair walked back into the room.
            It looked like the world had ended. Everyone was slumped nearly unconscious over their seats and tables.
            “Kaidou? What happened?” asked Saiki, putting his hand on his shoulder.
            Kaidou looked up. “Saiki?”
            “Oh, he’s still alive.”
            “What happened here?” asked (Y/N). “You look terrible.”
            “Nendou sang on his own. After that, hell opened up,” groaned Kaidou. “It felt like an orchestra made up of everything with a horrible sound. Before I lost consciousness, I remember thinking that the god of death must sing like him.”
            “I’m actually curious now,” admitted Saiki.
            “I’m sorry you went through that,” said (Y/N), patting Kaidou’s shoulder. “But you’re alive, so you’ll recover!”
            “What’s wrong?” asked Nendou, looking out over the slowly-recovering crowd. “Did my singing voice lull you to sleep? I’ll sing something more exciting, then.”\
            “How bad was it?” wondered Saiki.
            “Oh, Kusuo, look,” said (Y/N), gesturing to their table where a grand chocolate parfait now stood. “It came early!”
            “Time to eat,” said Saiki, sitting down.
            “Saiki, you and (L/N) are up next!” said Hairo.
            “What are you saying, we’re eighth in line,” said Saiki.
            “The order got deleted after the blackout, so I entered what I could remember,” said Hairo.
            “Oh, no.”
            “Come on, come on, Saiki, (L/N), everyone’s waiting for you,” said Hairo. “I’ll watch your food until you get back.”
            “I guess we’re doing this,” said (Y/N) sheepishly as they stood up.
            “Oh, no.” was all Saiki could muster.
            “You can do this,” said (Y/N), smiling at him.
            Saiki looked up at them. With their warm smile and loyal heart, Saiki couldn’t say no. Yare yare. He stood up. “We’re doing it.”
            (Y/N) beamed excitedly, and that made it all worth it. Even as people’s eyes went onto him and “Like OOH-AHH by Twice, the Japanese version” played, Saiki found it wasn’t so bad. Did he put much effort in? No. He was too busy letting (Y/N) be silly and enjoying their eternal joy. It was sweeter than any confectionary treat.
            As the song ended, (Y/N) bowed, and Saiki nodded. Their classmates cheered and clapped, and their friends whooped. (Y/N) boldly took Saiki’s hand, raised it above their head, and bowed once more.
            Saiki smiled as he bowed. No one would see it since he wiped it away as soon as he stood up, but he couldn’t contain it. Surprisingly, he had fun, but he suspected that was due to having (Y/N) by his side. That made everything better.
            “Now you can have your parfait,” said (Y/N), grinning at him. “And you didn’t embarrass yourself at all.”
            Saiki nodded. “Thank you for doing it with me.”
            “Of course,” said (Y/N). They smiled with closed-eyes. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” Being close to you is nice. Of course I’d give anything to spend time with you. Squeezing his hand boldly, they let go and sat down across from him.
            Saiki sat and took a bite of his parfait, but the warmth in his chest and the content look on his face was more from (Y/N)’s sweetness than the parfait’s.
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georgeclarkesgf · 3 days
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Please can we get some george fluff/smut??
of course, sorry it's taken so long <3
work was killing you. the hours, the workload, it was all becoming too much and you felt like you hadn't seen george in weeks. so when you got to his apartment and kicked off your shoes, appreciating the feeling of carpet under your feet, you knew you just needed george.
it was unusually quiet, the sound of laughter and the boy's voices being absent. instead, you were met with an empty kitchen and living room, so you headed to his room, figuring he'd probably be at his desk editing.
which is exactly where he was.
"george?" you said softly, catching his attention as he turned his head, taking off his headphones.
"hey, how was work?" the question was simple enough, but it made you want to cry.
"it was awful george. it was such a long day. i just wanted to come and see you. missed you so much." tears were threatening to fall and george was quick to stand up and wrap his arms protectively around you, kissing the top of your head.
"i'm sorry you had such a bad day darling, can i do anything to make it better?" george asked, deciding to leave the editing until tomorrow and focus completely on you.
"i'm gonna go shower. join me?" you replied, and by your tone of voice and the tiredness evident on your face, he knew it wouldn't be that kind of shower, but he didn't care.
"of course, i'll wash your hair if you want?" george suggested.
giving him a nod in response and a quick peck on his lips, you made your way to his bathroom and started the shower, the hot water instantly relaxing your muscles as soon as you got in.
george joined a few minutes later, pulling you into him and letting you rest your weight against him while he ran his fingers up and down your back. the silence between you both was more than welcomed, a stark contrast to the constant noise and arguments you'd dealt with all day.
"you okay?" he whispered when you rested your chin on his chest, staring up him with a soft smile on your lips.
"thank you," george furrowed his brows in confusion, not knowing what you were thanking him for, "thank you for always knowing what to say to make me feel better and dropping whatever you're doing to make sure i'm okay. i really don't deserve you. i love you."
the way those last three words slipped off your tongue so easily made george's heartbeat speed up.
the ones he'd never felt the need to say to anyone other than his family and close friends.
the ones that neither of you had said to each other yet.
the ones that he'd wanted to tell you for so long.
"george?"
he hummed in acknowledgment as he stared back at you, needing to process your words.
"if you don't want to say it back yet that's fine. i don't want you to say it just because i did. but i wanted you to know that i do. i love you." you grew nervous from his silence, going to unwrap your arms from around him and get on with your shower, but he only tightened his arms around you and captured your lips in a kiss.
"you have no idea how long i've wanted to tell you that i love you y/n." he said as he swore to himself he was never going to forget this moment, smile never once leaving his face.
relief flooded over you, your nerves disappearing as you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.
"why didn't you?"
"i was scared," george admitted, "it sounds stupid i know. but i think it's because i've not been in a serious enough relationship where i felt the need to tell someone i love them. with you i felt something was different. and i was right. i love you."
"i love you too george clarke."
a/n hope you enjoyed this! i went with fluff cause i'm hopefully going to post some smut in the next few days <3 (i didn't really know how to end this, sorryyyy)
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yuri-is-online · 1 day
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I imagine Deuce!Yutu is either A. The Ultimate Honor Student with perfect grades and a plsmile that makes old nannies and mothers swoon (Yutu: "Thanks, its because me and my parent are the local "weirdos" I had to overcorrect and become a golden child (':") OR B. just as bad as pre-NRC Deuce was, a gang member who'd jump anyone who'd look at him wrong (but still cried until he was sick when he watched My Girl (1991) behind Yuu's back. They told him not to because they knew it was sad, he didn't listen).
I imagine Yuu's main memory of Deuce to their Yutu was how much Deuce believed in self-improvement and redemption, always trying to be a better man, which either version of Yutu can't help but admire or respect, despite their complicated feelings over their absent father.
Upon meeting him in the "current" timeline as a student, A or B either can't help but give Pop's an A for effort, despite missing the goal sometimes or finds him a little cringe for being such a tryhard.
I had to google the movie you mentioned and got jump scared by it taking place in Pennsylvania. Pretty sure I have driven through the place it's supposed to be set before... and fuck just reading the synopsis made me cry I don't think I could watch it ;-; poor Yutu should have listened to his parent.
notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here.
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I feel like I have read too much Tokyo Revengers because... we can have both: an honor student with a delinquent mean streak sounds like a good set up for Deuce! Yutu. Not that I think he would behave like Kisaki does exactly, but still. Dylla mentions in the White Rabbit event that she wasn't on the best terms with her mother when she was a teen, and we know about how Deuce was in middle school, so the idea of Yutu having a bit of a temper and rebellious streak to him does make a degree of sense. Sadly, I think that extends to his interactions with Yuu... so things are about to be angsty on two fronts today.
Much like Deuce, Yutu was just the cutest baby. He loved all things cute and fluffy. Bunnies, kitties, puppy dogs, he was such a sweet little kid who really loved chasing around butterflies in the great outdoors. He really loved to read, and learned how to do so at a very early age. When Yuu was having a bad day he would pick out one of his favorite books and insist on reading them a bedtime story so they could take a nap without any nightmares. If he was especially worried he would bring his favorite nightlight with him.
Not that anyone would ever dare to suggest it given what Yutu is like now, but he was very afraid of the dark as a child. He still is, there's just something about the void that exists in the darkness that screams danger to him. When he's isekaid to Twisted Wonderland it evolves into an extreme fear of blot and phantoms. I'd like his unique magic to have something to do with light or stars, something inspired by the Second Star to the Right from Peter Pan? I think it would be cute for someone afraid of the dark to be able to provide their own light.
When Yutu reaches middle school there's a noticeable change in his relationship with you. He's still polite, still bringing home good grades and unoffensive comments from his teachers. But he's a bit cold, as if he is purposefully putting emotional distance between you. His friends all treat you respectfully, but you just have a feeling, left over from somewhere, that you know what is likely going on but you can't put your finger on what. He gets angry when you try to ask questions, yelling something about how you just don't understand, maybe even throws in something about this being your fault...
I wrote about Riddle! Yutu having some fights with Yuu, but Deuce! Yutu's fights are so much worse. While Riddle! Yutu typically comes out of his room blubbering big fat tears ready to apologize, Deuce! Yutu feels the need to double down and save face. He does believe his parent has amnesia, he's seen how they act, but what he does not get is why they insist on feeling so fond of his dad and refuse to move on. In his mind their life could be a lot better if Yuu was willing to be honest with themselves about who his dad probably was. Yutu is very hung up on why Deuce felt the need to be redeemed, focusing on self improvement is all fine and good if you are someone worth redeeming but he's not around for Yutu to judge. And Yuu doesn't remember...
He's young, stupid, and angry, and he takes it out on anyone who looks at him wrong. What's worse for authority figures who want to help is that he's veeeery smart about how he does it. When he jumps someone you can bet there won't be cameras around to see it. When the police start troubling Yuu about what he's doing it's mostly just in the hope that they'll be able to talk some sense into their kid rather than to arrest Yutu or anything like that, but it doesn't work. Yutu gets to see the same thing that his dad did all those years ago, his parent crying because of his behavior but there's no grandparent Yuu is asking advice of. Since I am in the mood to be extra cruel, let's say the day that fight takes place, the day Yutu sees Yuu crying is the day he hears a very important name for the first time.
Deuce. His father's name is Deuce and the reason why he wasn't around was because he was from the other world that came to swallow up him and his parent the instant they began to remember. He doesn't get time to cover up the signs of his rebellion, or really a chance to say sorry. He has to look Grandpa Crewel in the face and admit that he made Yuu cry and added to the overly stressed mess their life had become. Everything they said about Deuce was true, and what's worse he was like him.
I feel like Deuce would be the sort of person who wanted to make a lot of home videos. Cater probably would be too, but he'd store most of them on his phone and I think that would be lost to time by the time his Yutu came home. Maybe it's because of the ghost camera, or his desire to be an "honor student" evolving into wanting to be an "honorable husband and father" but Deuce totally bought a video camera to take cheesy videos to show Yutu as he grew up. Instead the kid gets to see fragments of a life he could have had as he listens to his dad tell him about his life and how he met Yuu.
"Honestly I have no idea why they said yes." Deuce is a dork. A complete dork who looks so... young and life like in the video. He knows what features he took from Yuu but watching Deuce talk, he can pick up on the ticks, the way his mouth sets when determined. The look of shock that always made Yuu laugh, it bursts into view when he hears Yuu laugh as they enter the frame to snuggle into Duece's side, to press their face against his cheek with a happily contended sigh. "Y-yuu you're making me look uncool in front of the baby."
"He's not here yet!" You giggle and for the first time in a long time Yutu feels himself choking up as he watches his dad get all silly looking at the thought of his arrival.
"We're really looking forward to meeting you kiddo. I promise, nothing will ever happen to you. I'm not going anywhere."
"Well. Technically kept that last promise didn't you." He tries to play it off like a joke, but Crewel isn't laughing and neither is Yutu.
Gets put in Heartslabyul, but isn't exactly determined to be an honor student like his dad. While Deuce enjoys a good fight or the feeling of the wind in his hair... Yutu mostly got into fights because he was angry and needed someone to take it out on. Because of that temper he struggles with learning and controlling his magic but he still does pretty well with the practical academic side of things. He's proud of his ability to understand these things, and takes a lot of comfort in knowing his dad would be excited at knowing he was good at things like math and science.
Like with the other Heartslabyul boys, he had to fight his father's phantom. He sees putting Deuce to rest as part of his penance for how he treated Yuu in the years leading up to getting isekaid. He refuses to go back in time until he's able to lay this version of his father to rest next to Yuu so he can promise both of them, to their faces, that he'll create a world where they all can be together and live as a family.
Deuce is extremely friendly to Yutu! He wants to learn as much about Yuu's world as he can so he can help them feel as at home in Twisted Wonderland as possible. He makes sure to let Yutu know that extends to him too once Yuu warms up to having him in the friend circle, Uncle Ace is much less enthusiastic but it's clearly from a place of care towards Yuu. He starts to warm up when he sees Yutu trying his hardest to tutor Deuce, though he claims it's because he just thinks it's funny but really it's because Ace wants to see Deuce succeed.
Very correct on his feelings about Pops. His dad is so wildly cringe it's unreal. His effort is inspiring until he starts getting embarrassed for losing his temper and stuttering, or seven forbid you look at his grades. The more he interacts with both of you the more certain he becomes that Deuce would never have abandoned him... and that he is so getting grounded when Deuce learns about how he treated Yuu. And what's worse is that Yutu sort of wants him to.
Surprisingly that's not what happens at all. When Deuce learns who Yutu is, whether by sleuthing or through a violent confrontation with a monster from the future, when the whole story is laid out before him and his son bows to beg for his judgement it doesn't come at all. His Pops yanks him up by the collar and turns him towards Yuu.
"Say all of that again to your parent." Deuce's voice is as stern as it is serious. Yuu looks distraught, not quite to the point they were on the day everything changed but getting there as Yutu immediately breaks down and chokes, crying and begging for your forgiveness and saying he's sorry as Deuce brings all three of you together into a strong embrace. "I'm not the one you need to make things up to, but it's ok. I know exactly how you feel and we'll work through things together."
Deuce doesn't feel like he can be overly angry at Yutu for taking after him. He does feel the need to apologize to Yuu, profusely and in private, for putting them in so much danger and not being there to help Yutu work through his temper. If I was writing this as a story, I'd make Yuu sort of afraid of Yutu's feelings? I could see them blaming themselves and things being a bit awkward within their relationship with Yutu where they had been very good before the reveal. With Deuce being the loving and understanding partner that he is, the bridge is once again mended and the whole family gets to indulge in hobbies that aren't beating the shit out of other people.
Yutu gets back into reading, and starts looking up manuals and histories of blastcycles so he has something to talk to his dad about. He was right about his dad being extremely proud of him for being smart, he's that classic mechanic working class dad who can't stop talking about his kid who went to college and has pictures of him in his garage he makes sure to point out to everyone who comes in. Said person is really just Ace who really wants to make fun of Deuce and Yuu for being cringe together but is too focused on this whole world ending thing and wants everyone to be more focused on that.
Deuce promises that he is, he has a lot of confidence in the ability of your little group to be able to win against stacked odds. You've done it before you can do it again. Yutu couldn't have picked better allies, he's really determined to show him that and be a dad his son can be proud of. He repeats his promise to Yutu that he's never going anywhere, even though the kid never told him anything about the tapes because he really means it. He wants that world little Yutu dreamed of and older Yutu swore to fight for to be a reality, and it's his job as an honorable dad and future husband (he gets so flustered when he says that) to be the one on the front lines of fighting for it,
... just please please please do not tell Yutu about the egg incident. He doesn't think he could handle that embarrassment.
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It really tires me how some fans try to make Aegon look like an asshole who doesn't give a shit about anything. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character as such. Of course he cares, that's literally the essence of his personality. He cares. He and Aemond both feel too much emotion, but if Aemond sublimates into self–improvement, trying to be strong, cold and detached, then Aegon is literally an open wound. I want to talk about this, also using Tom's interviews (yes, I think the actor's opinion is valid in this matter) and the few scenes that we have in the first season.
We know that Aegon didn't want the throne and wasn't ready to rule. The scene with Alicent, who explains to him the prospects for the future of their family, seems very traumatic to me. Imagine what it's like to know from your childhood that the lives of people close to you depend on you, on how strong you'll be. Such a burden can destroy anyone. You can't just ignore it.
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Next, we're shown how Aegon drinks on Driftmark. And that's a pretty sad sight - several cups in a row, wincing, as if taking a medicine that will help him to feel better.
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Actually, I like the theory that he gets drunk after Aemond says that Helaena is his future queen. Another reminder that he'll have to marry his own sister, for whom he has no feelings. And he drinks because he tries to numb his pain.
The same goes for his obviously unhealthy attitude towards sex - he uses it to numb his loneliness. I believe that Aegon literally didn't have the opportunity to feel what love is in any form. His father disliked him and showed it openly. His mother loved him, but she never knew how to express it the way he needed to. He was married to his sister (the tragedy for both of them) and it was a matter of duty, not feelings. At the time of the first season, Aegon is deeply unhappy and this is obvious. I have every reason to believe that his need for physical intimacy is based on the fact that this is the only form of love he can receive. Considering that Aegon is quite smart, I even think that he himself understands how ugly this form is, but there's nothing he can do. During the act, I guess in some unhealthy way it really saves him from loneliness, longing and the need to be loved, but in the end it makes him even more unhappy.
Then it's impossible not to remember the eighth episode and the famous:
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It's still clear that family is important to him. Yes, he feels like a stranger among his relatives, but it hurts him just because he cares. He cries and says "it will never be enough for you or father" because he wants it to be enough. He still loves them and wants them to love him back.
"What Aegon wants more than anything is to be told by his dad ‘I have faith in your capabilities as a young man. I see you bringing prosperity to King’s Landing.’ But he hasn’t said any of those things. His dad has completely ignored him, in fact, throughout his entire youth." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Esquire
Next, we can move on to episode nine and the fact that Aegon ran away. I've seen a lot of opinions that this is an indicator of selfishness and like...what? He was scared. This follows from the script:
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He was scared, he'd never leave his family, much less Sunfyre. It was a decision made in a panic when he realized that his father had died and the moment he had feared all his life had come - he needed to accept the crown to protect his family.
During the conversation in the carriage, we see that Aegon was really hurt that his father didn't love him:
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He even said "because he didn't like me" when talking about his father's attitude towards him. He didn't use the word "love" because it was obvious to him that his father didn't love him. He used the word "like", unknowingly emphasizing that he couldn't count on even simple sympathy.
He's also well aware that Viserys could have named him the heir, but didn't do so simply because he didn't want to and because of this, he - the eldest son, feels unworthy of the throne, and also completely lost.
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When Alicent tells him that Viserys wanted to make him the heir before his death, an emotional dam breaks inside him, it's literally written in the script:
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And at this moment, looking at the dagger, he's not even listening to Alicent, he's completely in his thoughts - maybe, at least for a second, his father cared about him. And when he asks his mother if she loves him, we see how much he craves love, how broken he really is, how important his family is to him.
I know this post is insanely long and I haven't even analyzed the various microexpressions in Tom's acting, but I'm really tired of people wanting to make Aegon something pure evil.
"I also see Aegon as being incredibly complex. He's not an out-and-out psychopath. I see a multilayered character that just has endless potential of pits of vulnerability and empathy and things that we don't see. I think it's his vulnerability that breeds the darkness. It's the way he copes, it's his security, it's his safety blanket, it's an addictive coping mechanism for him to shut things out and to be cold." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Entertainment Weekly
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drdemonprince · 9 hours
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I was talking to some relatives about our comparative sensitivities to substances. As a young person, I had the classic Autistic hyper-sensitivity to drugs. Two beers could knock me out. Anything past that was disgusting to me; at Ohio State I was constantly hiding half-drunk solo cups of Natty Light on bookshelves and in basements because I couldn't keep up with anyone else. I had no taste for weed or anything harder because I hated how tired it made me feel. At the same time, I always remained lucid on substances. I was always the person who could snap into practical, problem-solving thinking and put on a sober face if a member of my party got in trouble for pissing in the street or started fighting or ran afoul of the cops.
growing up, my friends were always trying to get fucked up so they could escape their brains and their realities, and then falling into huge problems because they'd done so. they'd get drunk and piss themselves. drive drunk home. fall in love with some dude on cocaine ten years older than them and then have to bust open a garage window with their fist when he was freaking out threatening himself. they'd blow out their caffeine receptors on weird drug store cold medicine and not be able to drink coffee for years. they'd drag themselves hung over to work or have to run a 5k still stoned. i didnt understand why they'd be so irrational. i was always the person sitting on the floor, a little tired but fine, watching them wrestle eachother drunkenly or cry when they'd started taking whatever drug it was to make themselves feel good. i didn't understand why someone would choose to weaken themselves and make themselves feel even worse. but nothing ever really felt good to me. i was just a flat line.
My sensitivity has changed thanks to testosterone, specifically because of muscle growth. I can throw back a number of drinks that startles me now, and feel almost nothing. A few months back a friend was being very generous with the boozy slushies at Sidetrack and the shots. I don't know how many I had. But more than I'd had to drink in many, many years at least. Which is probably still a small-seeming number to the real professionals, maybe something like 6 or 7 drinks total. But I felt completely fine, nothing past a little silly. I ate a taco on the curb, sipped some water, and then I was fine.
My sister is barely feels substances at all. She can't tell when pain medications work. In college, during a spat with a sorority "little" of hers who began to stalk her, she spent every afternoon at the bar downing shots from a shot-club list in exchange for a t-shirt, and it didn't affect her. She hates food and eats very little because of probably ARFID, but she will drink just about anything, and can do so in abundance if she wants to. But she rarely wants to, because it doesn't make her feel any more fucked up than a couple of cocktails. She smoked weed and took edibles sporadically for years without them ever kicking in or doing anything to her.
I am reminded of that story I read about the guy with really high social anxiety whom the CIA gave like ten tabs of acid, as part of some fucked up experiment, and he remained completely lucid, polite, present, and normal-seeming the entire time. Because he was just such a fucking tight-assed neurotic person that he couldn't let go of his iron-tight grip on reality. After his 12th acid tab, he got a little bit sleepy and went off to bed, or something like that. (If someone remembers this story and can find a link, send it to me!).
I don't know that I'd be the same, I've never tried, acid, but I imagine that it would play out something like that. I'd clench my firsts tight onto reality and keep masking as normal until I reached the absolute fucking brink of my ability to cope, and then I wouldn't enjoy the high, i'd just be so fucked up that I needed to go lie down. Mushrooms didn't affect me much, either.
I can't seem to escape my constant neurotic rumination and compulsive need to attend to the reactions of others and modulate myself. I wish I could let loose, but then again, when a person says they want one thing and they behave in a completely different way, trust the behavior. Clearly I don't want to lose control. I'm obsessed with maintaining my perspective. The one time I got properly zooted high at Nowadays in New York I nearly lost my phone, and I don't want to risk anything like that again. Anxiety is such a protective thing. we evolved to survive not to be happy. and all told i'm pretty good at keeping shit together, looking after myself, looking after others, and not fucking things up. my anxiety and rigidity has spared my ass a whole lot of problems, saved me a lot of money, helped my career, helped me escape arrest. i wish i could relax once in a fucking while but also i dont. im in love with what a tight ass sharp edged tense little bitch i can be. i dont know who the alternative version of me even would be. if i were to let properly loose and get sloppy it would feel like some abdication of duty, because I know that I *can* keep it together no matter what, and it seems so many people can't.
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mingtinysworld · 3 days
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can you please write an imagine where y/n is hongjoong's childhood friend and when they grew up, she ended falling in love with san, because she thinks hongjoong only sees her as his “young sister”, but he gets really jealous and upset seeing her happy without him. 😭
(sorry my bad english, not my native language)
Okkk literally obsessed with this concept omg. Possessive/jealous Hongjoong is one of my fav things ever hehe. Thank you for requesting!!
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Look at my heart
Pairing: Hongjoong x fem!reader ft. San
Genre: angst, fluff
Word count: 1.5k
Networks: @newworldnet
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“What do you think of San?”
Hongjoong looks up with alarm, his position on your beat up couch stiffening. His voice gets caught in his throat for a second, not exactly knowing what to say. He blinks the daze away and makes hesitant eye contact with you.
“What do you mean Y/n? I barely know him.” He answers timidly.
You know San from your chemistry class that you share with Hongjoong. He sits across the room, and your only opportunity to interact with him is in group projects, which you’re grateful for. San, from what you can tell, is a very passionate and loving person. He loves getting to know people and dedicating his whole self to the people he loves. There’s some kind of spark about him that draws you to him, but you can’t help but needing Hongjoong’s approval.
You and Hongjoong have been best friends for almost your whole life. Your families were very close, so close to the point his parents were practically your parents. You have had countless experiences with him, solidifying your trust and bond with the man. Recently though, you’ve noticed a shift. You can’t figure out what it is though, no matter how hard you try.
“I think I might be interested in San.” You say quietly, as if you’re worried about scaring Hongjoong away.
“I-I mean, I don’t think my opinion really matters Y/n. If you like him, then I’d say go for it!.” He shows you a toothy smile, but not the Hongjoong smile you’re used to. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I just thought I’d ask.” You speak a little too brightly, determined to break the building tension. You let out an awkward laugh and Hongjoong follows you, resulting in a stiff silence right after. Before you can move, Hongjoong beats you to it, declaring that he has plans to attend to, and leaves your apartment leaving you conflicted and confused.
———
The following day as you see him in class, he seems closed off, headphones on and mind in a daze. You decide approaching him isn’t the best option currently, opting to give him space by sitting at a different table. Coincidentally, the table ends up being where San is sitting, chipper as ever.
“Hi Y/n! I’m so glad you get to sit with me today!” He explains excitedly.
The pure joy in his face makes you smile despite the fact that your brain is facing immense turmoil. “I decided to sit somewhere new for a change!” You beam at him. He leans in close to you, and whispers.
“Did you and your boyfriend have a fight?”
Your body freezes and your mouth opens, not sure what to say. For some reason, your breathing quickens, and your nervous system feels attacked.
“He-he’s not my boyfriend. Why would you think that?” You ask cautiously.
“Have you seen the way he looks at you? Plus he also acts like your bodyguard, staring daggers at anyone who dares to approach you. He’s the main reason I haven’t made a move on you yet.” He shrugs nonchalantly, while your body is internally screaming, trying to process the information.
“You…wanted to make a move on me?”
He tilts his head slightly and holds your eyes meaningfully. “Absolutely. I think I would be crazy not to.” He winks playfully and you can’t help but blush. At that moment, you hear a loud chair scraping noise, and look back just in time to see Hongjoong’s agitated retreating form.
You try to ignore it, convincing yourself that he needs space. So you force yourself to turn back to the sunny face of San, and brace yourself for your words.
“San, will you go out with me?”
———
You start going out with San regularly, thoroughly enjoying your time with him. The conflict with Hongjoong has been pushed to the back of your mind, choosing to ignore it in order to not go crazy. You decide that if he wanted to, he would tell you if something was wrong.
You stopped sitting with him in class, a deep fear within that your connection has been severed, and not wanting to bear the consequences. Even though you’re not sure if you did something wrong, you can’t help but feel some kind of guilt deep down.
Due to this guilt, you eventually find yourself waiting in front of Hongjoong’s apartment. You’ve been standing there for at least five minutes, nervously debating whether to stay or leave. Finally, as you raise your knuckles to knock, the door opens abruptly, leaving you startled and like a deer in headlights.
“Y/n you might as well come in. It’s cold outside.” He sighs heavily and lets you in, trailing behind your small form. As you look at his stoic face, you can’t help but tear up, desperately needing to feel the warmth of your best friend.
“I’m sorry,” you say with a sniffle. “I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to cause this rift between us. All I wanna do is get us back.”
“I don’t.”
“What?” You look up with wide eyes, his face not having changed in the slightest.
“I’m sick of feeling like this, constantly having to bottle up my true feelings, and for what? To just be substituted?” He speaks with a quiet anger, voice barely above a whisper, but you feel as you’re being hit with sharp icicles.
“Hongjoong, I don’t understand-”
“Of course you don’t,” he lets out a bitter laugh, eyes trained on the carpet. “You don’t understand and you haven’t understood all these years.”
“Understand what? Help me understand.” You plead with misty eyes.
At that moment, your phone lights up, showing San on your screen. Hongjoong notices and he immediately scowls, leaving his chair abruptly. You watch him stomp away and reluctantly pick up your phone.
“San? What’s up?”
“I wanted to see what my favorite girl was up to! What do you think of going on a picnic later in the afternoon?” He asks with excitement laced through his voice.
“San…I’m sorry, but I can’t today. I’ve got some…” you look at up and see Hongjoong at his desk, tapping his foot impatiently. “business to take care of.”
San seems to understand, but still can’t help but be disappointed. You say bye to him and hang up with a heavy sigh.
“Hongjoong, let’s please talk about this.”
He reluctantly stands up, returning to his spot earlier, and stares at you intently. “Do you really not know or are you just pretending?” You furrow your eyebrows and shake your head.
“I genuinely have no idea what’s going on.” You admit.
“Y/n, I can’t pretend anymore. It hurts me, just how much I ache for you. You’re all I think about, constantly, every day. I can’t fathom a life where you’re not in it, but seeing you with San is…it breaks me. I question why you don’t see me the same way you do him. We’re best friends, yes, but what best friend does what I do? Everyone else thinks I’m your boyfriend except you. Why are you so oblivious to my love?” He pours out his heart, voice cracking at the end of his sentence.
You’re stunned by his confession, not exactly sure what to say. All you know is that a fragment of your heart is being healed, being filled with a love you didn’t know you were missing. It feels whole suddenly, as if everything you’ve ever wanted has landed in the palm of your hand. You search his eyes for any signs of a lie, but all you see is raw emotion emanating in waves.
“Hongjoong, I didn’t know you felt this way. To be honest, I didn’t even think it a possibility. I thought that if I were to let myself feel what I felt, I would’ve ruined what we had. I locked that part of myself away, refusing to let it come to the surface. But…” You take a deep breath and continue. “Since you feel the same way, I can be free to feel.”
“Y/n, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I love you in the same way. I’ve been so stupid to pretend not to, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” As the first tear travels down your face, Hongjoong leaps forward to envelope you in a tight embrace. He cradles your head against his chest as you freely sob, letting out your bottled emotions.
“I’m so s-sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel unwanted.” You hiccup as you speak, emotion overtaking you. “I love you, so so much.”
He holds you even tighter, as if afraid you’ll melt away. “I love you and have always loved you. Why do you think I try to scare off any guy who gets close to you?” You let out a laugh, a thick throaty sound.
“Hongjoong, I feel so stupid. I could’ve had you so much sooner.” You whisper against him.
“It’s alright, you have me now.” He sighs into your hair and mumbles by your ear. “However, it’s my first time seeing you cry this much. What a crybaby.” You look up at him with a glare.
“We never speak of this again, got it?” You ask with a playful threat in your eyes.
“Yes ma’am.” He says with a salute. “Now, I get to have you all to myself.” His mouth quirks up as you bite your lip to hide your big grin.
“Alright mister, let’s catch up on this relationship shall we?”
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bronx-bomber87 · 2 days
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Hello my lovely fandom :) I hope you are doing well. I can't believe we are at the first half of the finale it's unreal. For only having 10 episodes they've really made them count I will have to say. The writing has been so good this season. Killing me softly but so good. Can only imagine had we had a full season what they could've done. But tis not good to dwell on that ha Let us get started.
6x09 The Squeeze
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Ugh poor Tim already breaking my heart 5 seconds into this. It's how he’s looking at the crime scene that gets me. Eric conveys so much with just a look. Always blown away by him. His look is saying so much as he looks on at the chaos. He is processing so much in this moment. Bless Grey showing up to break him out of it. Loving the hat btw Wade. Rocking it good sir. Tim letting him know immediately about his suspicions about Dr. London. Grey telling him to be careful with such accusations.
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I love Grey protecting Tim with this friggin Detective Pearson putz. Coming in way too hot. No one I would rather have there to have his back though. Well other than Lucy. But Grey is the the right one to have there in this moment. Always protects his people. Hate this guy already. Wanting to crush Tim to advance his career. Just looks like such a weasel. *grumble.*
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John was not ready the rant Lucy sent his way when he asked if she was ok. His face lmao Our girl has a lot of feelings ok? Lucy says she’s good. But you’re not my friend. That rant proving she is anything but ok. Sounds like she is trying to convince herself more than anything else. She is lost in life and where she really is emotionally right now. This scene is proof of that. I know people feel she is being isolated this year. I think the writers are doing this intentionally. I don't see it as bad writing which I've seen mentioned. I don't agree. Because it's very in character IMO. Feel like its setting something up as well. Also she is also the one isolating herself.
Even before Tim broke them up she was doing this. Look at her behavior the entire season. Especially after the exam. Handling everything on her own. Making rash decisions without input from anyone. Not even Tim. Hello Jeff Budney ...Just like Tim isn't open with anyone but Lucy she is the same way. Other than Tim she isn't very open with people about deep personal things. About what's affecting her. So this fits. She even shut Tim out of that situation in 6x04 in her decision making. Not since Jackson has anyone really made it in other than Tim. So this is pretty in character for her to isolate. People may feel it's more Tim but he's not the only one.
His is just showcased far more. Her's has been on display this entire season. Lucy and Tim are scarily alike in this way. She is a control freak and like Tim in the way she shuts people out. How she wants to handle it herself. I mean they have the same fatal flaw. It's why their communication became the problem it did. As much as Tim has growth to do so does our girl. That explosion of emotion just shows how very not ok Lucy is. I'm sure come summer or mid summer with the extended hiatus I might have a more fleshed out analysis of her. But she definitely isn't ok that much i can confidently say now.
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I adore Angela calling Lucy to give her a heads up. Always looking out for both of them. Guardian Angel that woman. Friggin Nolan in the back asking what’s happening? She’s kinda busy John so hush. That concerned wifey voice is instantly present on the phone with Lopez. Her turning away from them both once it's about Tim.
This quickly became a personal phone call. Her reaction when she hears this. Oh my lord Closing her eyes. Taking in the severity of the situation. You know her immediate reaction was how he was. How was he feeling? Did he need her? The worry settling in and multiplying quickly.
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The wifey vibe is continued when Tim calls John to be his union rep. Ugh killing me how worried she is for him. Concern seeping out of her in this moment. Despite everything that's her person and she still loves him so much. Her first instinct is to be there for him. My heart. Lucy asking Nolan how he sounded? Her tone bleeding worry.
Reason she asks is because Lucy can pull everything she needs to know from that alone. Knows him so well. Her innate need to be there for him. Regardless of all that has happened between them. Melissa killing it with the concern in her voice when asking how he sounded. *heart clutch* You can FEEL her worry.
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Tim is so anxious waiting for Nolan. I wanna hug him. Jumps up minute he gets there. Telling him they’re gonna hang this around his neck. That now that Mad Dog is dead their scape goat is gone. Idk I would trust John alone for this. But Tim doesn’t have a lot of options right now.... I will say John proves me wrong later in this ep but my first thought was not 'Nolan should spearhead this.'
But look at Tim reaching out for help. Doing this so differently than how he handled Ray. I’m so proud of him. Taking a totally different approach on this one. Not isolating himself and reaching out for help through proper channels this time. Yeah Dr London sucks for being dirty but Tim has had some growth due to it. I couldn't be prouder of him if I tried. I really hope we continue his therapy journey in S7.
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I hate this scene so very much. It was killing me to watch it unfold. She’s using his sessions against him and I wanna cry. It makes me sick tbh. And not even real info about his sessions either. It’s clear she doesn’t wanna be doing this though. Doesn't excuse her but you can see it's not something she is excited to be doing. Her conscience slowly eating at her. What do they have on her? I'm so curious.
This schmuck coming at Grey I wanna deck him. The look on Wade's face you can tell he does too. The amount of blatant aggression and disrespect making his blood boil. Telling Grey he favors his friendships over the city. Was making my Italian temper flare up so very much. Coming at Tim SO hard it was like he wanted to be found out. Bias little shit.
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I love the minute Angela hears about Tim's admin leave she calls Wes. Angela saying he better give her a heads up if they're charging him. That she’s standing by Tim a 1,000 percent. Calling him family. Getting all misty over here. Angela loves him so much. He's very lucky to have someone so amazing in his corner. Love me some Angela Lopez. Loyal to a fault. Just like me fiercely protects and defends who she loves. Coming at her own husband to defend him. Adore this woman.
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Can I just say I adore Lucy seeking him out. Not only that but making sure she has a private moment with him by pulling that stop button. Telling him she is still mad at him. That this doesn’t change anything. (and yet it changes everything IMO) Tim is so confused because the last thing he expected was this hug. Or her empathy at all. Hell when I saw the promo last week I wasn't either. It's the way he just MELTS into her like butter. His whole body relaxes. You can see the anxiety just drain out of him. Clinging to her like a life raft. Emotionally she is in this moment. Holding her as close as he physically can. He is so grateful for this moment to hold her again.
You can tell this is the first time in a long time he's felt whole. Felt peace of any kind just by being in her arms. This hug is so beautiful you guys. I'm tearing up just writing about it. The way she envelops him so completely. Such raw emotion in her voice asking if he’s ok? His answer makes me wanna cry. ‘I am now.’ Reminiscent of 5x21 when he said the same thing. He wasn’t ok till he heard her voice. The same thing remains the same here. He wasn't ok till he was holding her again. My damn heart. I love how she tightens her hold on him when he says this line.
Like she also can't get close enough to him either. They're just clinging to each other for dear life. This hug gave me so much hope. You can see how in love they both still are with one another. I mean my goodness the way she straightens his collar afterwards and touches his arm lovingly. Reminds me of the lint picking moment from 5x12. Still doing wifey things and can’t even help it. That wifey energy coming off her in waves. It's automatic when they part. Just seems so natural. After being apart physically since 6x06 .They easily fall right back into it. So damn nice to see. Feels like I'm breathing for the first time since 6x06 ended. I'm dying in the best way everyone.
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Lucy then re-opens the elevator and they share some VERY loaded looks before she departs. I’m not crying you are.... God I love Tim and Angela’s friendship so much. She is willing do whatever for her bestie. She also is wanting so badly to be tagged in for this. To protect him in any way she can.
Tim seems confident in his play even if Angela doesn’t. Letting her know he's handling this one differently than Ray. Do love her saying different isn't her haha God he's lucky to have all these amazing women in his corner. I adore their friendship so very much. I need more of it in S7 writers I just do.
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Really loving Lucy going UC for Harper and Lopez for this case. I think this is part of that setting something up I mentioned earlier. Lucy breaking my heart with the detective comment though. *sad sigh* But classic Lucy to have 8 covers ready to go. God I love her. The most Lucy Chen thing ever to have that many on deck. Not only that she's been growing them for months.
I love this human so very much it's insane. It's no wonder Tim is so damn gone for her. She is the cutest most prepared little nerd and I adore her for it. The look between Lopez and Harper is too damn funny. Tim would not be surprised by this info at all LOL Also her alter ego hitting close to home right now. 'A little lost in life....'
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Really enjoyed this shot of Lucy and the nanny debriefing her before we head into the scene. This guy gives me the creeeeeeps. It's no wonder she didn't want to go back into that house. That dude looks like a sociopath. She can handle herself but good lord I hate her being near him. Dude has dead eyes too. The wife looks like she is a prisoner.... The whole scene made me uneasy and nervous for Lucy to be there.
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Never thought I would say this....But I’m impressed with Nolan and how he’s handling this situation. That's right you actually read that. LOL You're not crazy. Or seeing things. He’s doing Tim some serious justice right now. Rattling all the cages of the potential dirty cops she’s seeing just by being here. Confronting her like this to see if it bears any fruit for them.
Having Smitty stakeout her office because he knows it'll make her uneasy and easy way to log who comes. Has Nell pulling data for him with police fails for last 6 months from dispatch. Also yay return of Nell. Love her. Honestly first episode in a long time I enjoyed his character. So well done John you pulled off quite the miracle here.
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Love Grey in this scene. Hell in this episode really. Papa bear ready to devour anyone threatening his kids at it's finest. This scene was cathartic to watch after this putz had been stomping around. Acting like he owns the damn place. Smearing Tim's name all over the place in the process. Threatening Grey in his tirade. Wade's final straw is him coming after Nolan/Celina.
You can watch Pearson visibly shrink when Wade is done tearing him a new one. Doesn't say a damn word after he tells him to stay in his Iane. You tell 'em Wade. I was cheering him on this entire scene. Was a huge tell for Nolan and Celina as well. Nolan's tactic working very well. Outing him as dirty cop because of his outburst to them working Mad Dog's place plus confront Blair.
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This scene makes me VERY nervous for Lucy. She did a really good job listening in till the damn toy. I mean she caught it before it hit floor. Unfortunately the friggin thing goes off with it's song. Giving away not only her position but her potentially her cover. Because he finds it on the ground and has a menacing look on his face. Dude gives me the actual creeps. Well done to the actor cause he makes me wicked uncomfortable.
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I don’t like the idea of Lucy going back into that house. Like at all. Extra backup or not. I think her cover is blown and sending her back is like sending her into the Lion's den. She is very competent and can handle herself. That doesn't mean sending her back in isn't extremely high risk. Especially with Monica buzzing around now. We'll see how that shakes out next ep. Kinda hoping it produces some Feral Tim if it goes sideways while she's in there. A girl can dream right?
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Prepare yourself. I was once again was very impressed with Nolan in this episode. He did a really good job leading Celina and doing what Tim asked. Was smart about his moves. Bringing Smitty and Nell into it and getting the info he needed. Shaking trees and getting fruit from it. Using everything around him properly even Smitty LOL She's got some balls on her asking for complete immunity and a new life. Also Idk Nolan can promise any of these things.....But it'll be interesting see how the second half of this unfolds.
Now Eric had mentioned in an interview post 6x06 about communication for them in the finale. So I'm excited to see what that'll mean. Will they have a real convo? Idk but i'm excited about it. All I want is them to be in a better spot before S7. I never expected things to magically come back together by seasons end. It shouldn't be that way. Also the season too short for that.
The SL deserved time to breathe and develop a bit. My hope is we will be on our way to reconciliation by end of finale. That hug was a damn good start to that goal. As usual thank you to ALL that like, comment or reblog these. Truly mean that every single one means so much to me. Excited to see how this season ends.
~~~
Side notes- Non Chenford
Harper and Lopez proving what a bad ass duo they were through out the ep. I need more of this in s7 writers. These two woman are dynamos and I need more of it.
Can’t say I didn’t Miss Tim the rest of the ep but damn was it good. I love when they do ensemble cast stuff flexing what a good cast we have as a whole.
Wes standing up to that heavy was impressive and pretty attractive. He’s grown a lot as a character was nice to see.
Loved the ladies nailing that crooked detective. Amazing. Grey getting to put HIM on admin leave. Suck it you schmuck.
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AITA for telling my bf that he is an asshole for dismissing my sexuality?
(I genuinely don't know if I'm in the right or just overreacting so I could really use some feedback! Also apologies, English isnt my first language. )
Disclaimer for slight NSFW:
For a bit of context, my bf (32M) and I F(27) have been together for a bit over a year, and it's been really great. The only downside is that he grew up in a very traditional household, so he grew up with very outdated beliefs. Even before we started dating, he was trying to unlearn said beliefs. Another important note is that we live about one and a half away from each other, so we don't get to be with each other a lot atm.
The other night texted him I was going out and jokingly said, "Maybe I'll make out with another girl." And he replied "that would turn me on" and I seriously asked him if it was okay if I could kiss anyone which he replied to "if it's a girl, you don't need to ask but if it's a guy, I need to be there and maybe I'll say yes". I was a bit confused and asked him to elaborate. He basically explained that making out or having literal sex with a woman isn't the same as making out and having sex with a guy. Which made me incredibly frustrated as I would have the same intimate connection with a women than I would have with a man but it just sounded like he was just turned on by the idea of me sleeping with a women and since he didn't feel the same about it if it was with a man, I shouldn't do it.
I told him off of course, expressing how that felt like bisexuality erasure and that I felt he was using my sexuality as a kink thing for him. He went back and told me that "its a respect thing" ??
Here is a snippet of what he said, "Ok, another misunderstanding going on here, to me a guy sticking his dick into you is different than you being with a girl....again TO ME! Nothing to do with your sexuality or how you feel, it has to do with how I feel how it makes me feelI am not talking or taking away from you or your sexuality, i am talking about how I feel about it"
We fought a bit more and I haven't spoken to him in a couple of days since I asked for space to reflect upon this. I genuinely don't know if I overreacted about this situation.
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