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64sue · 5 months

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SIR???? 😳😳😳

#formula one #formula 1 #mclaren #papaya #lando norris #ln4 #obsessed much?#MAN HELLL GREAT ONEEE

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icyfox17 · 2 months

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Idk why I randomly remembered this but omg @cristalmystery @jiksvokrat @sammiekel I made this quiz like 3 years ago (so it has one question with cc!crimeboys sighs BUT THE CHARACTER THEMSELVES ARE BASED OFF OF C!CRIMEBOYS) if ur interested /nf /nf 👀👀👀

#i have an obsession with uquizzes #it's a slight problem #i need to make a new oneee theyre so fun to make but also i put way too much effort in and spend hours making just one so 😭😭#it takes a lot of energy out of meeee #juuuust a reminder in case one of my other followers see this #i do not support cc wilbur he is a piece of shit and doesnt deserve any nice things #pls dont follow me if u support him!!!! u are not welcome here!!!!

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lilacthebooklover · 4 months

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YESSSSSSSSSSS CUT DOWN THE TREE LILAC

o ri could

not do that

@sharky-the-idiot what od u think? <333

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bfwonho · 1 year

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(finds out im autistic) oh cool, im going to look into this more :)

(finds out i have one million other things wrong with me due to comorbidity with autism)

#WHAT DO YOU MEAN I MIGHT HAVE OCD.#say psyche NO ONEEE is gonna believe me on that one #bc it is ALL mental. obsessions AND compulsions are in my brain

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hwngintak · 2 years

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<333 hiiii dear 🌼

hihi my love <33 i hope u like it hehe

#type: replies #it's the way you can easily tell what im obsessed with through this game 😭#ty for sending oneee #tag: bie 💐

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rinsoap · 1 year

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˚ ༘ ♡⋆｡˚ ﾐ the big inarizaki three's favourite artists!

✿²˖ ࣪ ➣ includes : suna rintaro, osamu miya + atsumu miya

note : THIS HAS BEEN IN MY BRAIN SINCE DAY ONEEE SUNA, OSAMU, IWAIZUMI, MATTSUN, KYOTANI AND SEMI R ALL TYLER STANS LITERZLLY FIGHT ME!!!!

suna rintaro :

!!? ok this man has 100% turned every single one of his friends onto tyler the creator. he likes to say he “discovered” him as if he didn’t have like 300 million streams at the time ?? and tbh he didn’t even discover him iwaizumi put him on 😭😭 but he’s a little liar so 🙅🏼‍♀️ but at least he has good music taste!!!!

his favourite songs by tyler the creator are :

- ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? on the IGOR album.

- FUCKING YOUNG / PERFECT on the cherry bomb album.

- WILSHIRE on the CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST album.

!!? he will NEVER admit it but he LOVES red velvet 😭😭 he is a kpop stan till he dies and he is RIDDEN with guilt. osamu will be making fun of koreaboos (as he should) and suna will be slowly shrinking into his shirt as he starts yelling about how dumb kpop is. he truly would rather die than admit he knows every single lyric to sunny side up!

his favourite songs by red velvet are :

- BYE BYE on the reve festival 2022 birthday EP.

- russian roulette on the russian roulette: third mini album.

- BAMBOLEO on the reve festival 2022 feel the rhythm EP.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : give you the world by steve lacy. 505 by arctic monkeys. IMPURITIES by le sserafim. yes i’m changing by tame impala.

osamu miya :

!!? he is obsessed with cigarettes after sex! it is truly insane how it is one of the only bands that genuinely makes him cry. like he will be listening to K. with atsumu in the car and atsumu would be groaning like “dude stop with this sad shit its killing the vibe” as a single tear rolls down osamu’s cheek 😭

his favourite songs by cigarettes after sex are :

- john wayne on the cigarettes after sex album.

- affection (single).

- heavenly on the cry album.

!!? OK MAYBEE THIS IS AN UNPOPULAR OPINON but this man is 100% a shameful swiftie. he doesn't know why but he literally will not tell anybody he loves taylor swift like it is his guilty pleasure and for what ???? he loved her in her red era too, he is LOYAL he's been a fan since 2012 dude !!!!

his favourite songs by taylor swift are :

- the very first night [from the vault] on the red (taylor's version) album.

- august from the folklore album.

- i think he knows on the lover album.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : lovers rock by tv girl. pretty boy by the neighbourhood. apple cider by beabadoobee. SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK by joji.

atsumu miya :

!!? his favourite is chase atlantic because he's a fucking prick LMAO he is a chase atlantic MENACE he plays it everywhere any occasion and frequently LIES ab it??? he'll be like "i'm kind of a fan on the dl you know not that big of a deal haha the music is good but its whatever" and then squeal everytime he sees a tiktok of a concert 😭

his favourite songs by chase atlantic are :

- drugs & money (new mix) on the chase atlantic album.

- HEAVEN AND BACK on the PHASES album.

- goosebumps chase atlantic remix (unreleased)

!!? he will never tell anyone how badly he fucks with olivia rodrigo like he is convinced she wrote SOUR for HIM. he will lock himself in his room, walk to the corner of his room before sliding down the wall in absolute shambles as he screams all of the lyrics blasting through his poor headphones. osamu literally hates olivia for this exact reason he cannot listen to her anymore.

his favourite songs by olivia rodrigo are :

deja vu on the SOUR album.

all i want on the high school musical: the musical: the series soundtrack.

happier on the SOUR album.

——✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : borderline by tame impala. beef flomix by flo milli. heartless by the weeknd. want u back by cher lloyd.

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jjwho · 1 year

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Who is your Next Lover

Pile 1. Pile 2

Pile 3. Pile 4

Pile1

Cards pulled out: Five of pentacles, ten of pentacles reversed, seven of wands reversed, three of swords reversed.

Okay pile oneee

Oof so what im getting is that your person might feel left out in the cold, having it ruff especially if its financially, maybe their parents are divorced because of financial issues.

This person really genuinely has it ruff, like they mightve unexpectedly lost a lot of things, like family and espically money, I'm seeing a scene of being in their parents debt and repaying their debt.

Shame man and I see them always surrender so easily and just saying yk fine I'll pay for their debts even though they should. I feel like this person is trying to stay optimistic

This person is someone who has it really ruff but still smiles yk. Hides the pain through a smile and just tries their best and stays optimistic even though the circumstances are bad. I do feel they are trying to ket go of pain and grief but shame man you should take care of them😭🥲

Physical traits:

-Might look German, Dutch or Afrikaans or raised there

-Dark skinned

-Youthful appearance

-Doe eyes

Awww so innocent. I hope that helps you pile one. Just know this is a general reading si nit everything is gonna resonate

.

Pile 2

Cards pulled out: Revered- King of pentacles, death, ten of swords

Upright- The High Priestess

Okay pile 2 so uh

This person might not have the best background or past, cause this person might of been very unstable with money and just an unstable person. May come off as cold and rude and greedy. Now they also have a fear of change, they don't want ti change their old habits for some reason. Or didn't want to.

Now maybe they are trying ti change that now, but it takes a really long time for a man or woman like that to change so yeah. Just live your life and don't stay with this person if they aren't gonna treat you well.

They also might come off as mysterious at first or they have a thing for mysterious people and this person really has a thing for desire like he can't control himself and just takes and tales that's what im getting.

(Sorry very toxic masculine energy that's why I called it a him.)

Physical traits:

-oop they may appear to be more feminine, but personality might be masculine

-They have nice nails

-Curvy

-Asian(Asian also means Indian people)

Okay hope that helps pile 2222

Byeee

.

Pile 3

Cards pulled out: five of cups,ace of pentacles,seven of cups, seven of pentacles revered

Okay pile 3 sooo

Your next lover is giving me daddy boss vibes

Like this person gots lots of money and opportunities and shit, but idk this person is always focused on the negative, this person is a workaholic doe

This person just needs to set their mind straight, like this person might have a kit of set backs or procrastinate or put their decisions on hold which they shouldnt cause.

Money.

If yk what I mean.

But that's really all that I'm getting tbh, they might a little lazy too when it comes to live, not too experienced in it and enter really been in love. To focused on work yk.

Physical Traits

-They got abs-

-Freckles

-Strong arms

-summer aesthetic

Damn they work out. Hot for uuu

Okay byeee hope that helps pile 3333

.

Pile 4

Cards pulled out: eight of pentacles, the devil, judgement, ten of swords reversed

Okay pile 4 so uhm damn

Uh

So you might know this person from work, might be a new worker, they work really hard and might attract a lot of the higher ups. They're confident in there work too, now they might be a bit of a sexual person who's a bit obsessive and yk very sexual and naughty ooop. Yeah yeah. Like a dark but attractive aura. Pure and cool at work but sexy and whatever around outside yk yk.

Some who likes fairness though. Very strong taste in justice. And someone who stands up for themselves and other yk yk.

Sexy, hardworking, good morals, sexy again.

That's all that I'm getting tbh

Physical Traits:

-Doe eyes

-Light skinned

-Brown eyes

-they might not smell the best tho-

Hope that helps byeee

#free tarot #tarot community #pick a pile #astrology #intuitive readings #pick a pile reading #pick an image #psychic readings #tarot deck #free readings

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lxkeee · 4 months

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Just a question, not a request. If you could, would you make a fic about Azrael's oc? I am TOTALLY OBSESSED with him.

🤯🤯🤯

OMGGG?? FINALLY SOMEONE WANTS TO SEE HIM OMGOMGG YESSS I'LL WRITE ONEEE 🤭🤭🤭 DUDE I'M SO INLOVE WITH MY AZRAEL OC RN OMG AND IM HAPPY THAT SOMEONE WANTS TO READ A FIC ABOUT HIMM

I'LL POST IT LATERRR:00

#lxkeee answers

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inmayshead · 5 months

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Music moments I’m obsessed with that literally live rent free in my head since Hazbin Hotel eps have dropped, in no particular order :

Spoiler warning ahead for eps 1 to 6.

Just the entirety of Whatever it takes. Especially the French Canadian version, brings me back to a time I can’t figure out but I just know I LOVE IT. AND IM NOT ASHAMED TO SAY ITS MY FAVOURITE ONE.

Adam singing with Lute that Hell is forever (you know the moment) both in episode 6 and the first oneee it’s lovely)

Adam going on with his “fake” guitar solo thingy. Lovely.

Angel’s first sentence singing in Loser, baby. It’s PERFFF.

Lucifer’s violin solo. I’m obsessed. Add on it when Alastor starts with the piano. Just that but I could listen on and on (…I have. Thanks TikTok.)

CHARLIE AND EM SINGING TOGETHER TO THE ANGELS IM. MWAH. CHEFS KISS.

I’m also growing quite fond of Stayed Gone. Vox and Alastor just ‘arguing’ in that singing way- it’s great.

I think that’s all for now :> Will add on as episodes drop!!

#hazbin hotel #thoughts #random stuff #stayed gone #loser baby #hell is forever #hellaverse #songs #I cannot express what the lucifers violin pet does to me #it’s eating my brain #it’s literally just 3 seconds too I hate it

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niceinchnails · 7 months

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My Opinions on EACH of these. Also dont take my opinion as good because i drop more cartoons than i actually finish.

Unappealing artstyle: Used to be a huge turn off for me but now i dont GAF anymore I just need a couple eps to get used to it (And those eps have to be good enough for me to want to watch it despite the artstyle)

Obsession with edgy/offensive humor: Ok this oneee. Depends. Im fine with edgy sex penis blood guts humour they make me laugh. & with political offensive humour i GUESS I can stomach. I dont enjoy it but literally every adult cartoon has some instance of it so i guess i just had to get used to it BUT if the humours based 30% or more On offensive humour then its just straight up bad Im dropping it.

overly cheese: i dont know what this means . i dont know any examples of this

too much gross out toilet humour: Im fine with it ok

Self aware/meta: This ones one of my pet peeeeeeves. If a cartoon straight off the bat barrages me with meta/self aware jokes I will not be into it. It feels like the cartoon itselfs overly familiar with me and joking with me like we're friends but we're not. Its like a cartoons telling me Haha isnt it so funny how i do X plot point All the time! Silly classic me. Like ive only known you for 3 episodes I dont know you that well, I dont know your CHARACTERS that well to find your self awareness of them funny. I guess its forgivable when its found later in the show when i already know the characters and story and plot enough to laugh at its acknowledgement of its own quirks but otherwise meta humour early on in a show just feels a little insincere almost self-deprecating. And it feels like its trying too hard to be cool since ive noticed meta humours the trend for a lot of modern cartoons.

Bad/annoying voice acting: literally just depends how bad the show itself is

too much filler/boring episode formula: Girl i love filler. I typically dont get into shows that are like nonstop action action action plot plot plot atleast get me aquainted w the characters first. I like the shows that ease you in with comedy filler and then punches you in the back of the skull with drama later on When you know the characters and you remember lauhging at their antics and such. And youre like oh noo.. Poor BooBoo Boy. But I like a little filler beforehand I want to know what BooBoo Boy was like before all the death and destruction happen i want to see BooBoo Boy laugh and giggle before he cries. And boring episode formula is fine as long as its not repetitive

I just realized how many opinions i have that boil down to "At Least let me get to know you as a cartoon better first" buttttt. anyway

My bad cartoon opinions

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evansbby · 1 year

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GIRLIES 💕💕💕🎀🎀🎀

Would you rather 🤔🫣💓

Have Ari blow smoke in your face while you suck his dick and he’s slowly guiding your face while you do it 🥵🥵🥵

OR

Have Ari come over and while you’re sleeping, he plays with your ass for hours and you keep falling asleep and waking up to him still playing with your ass bc he is obsessed with it 🫣🫣🫣

PICK ONEEE

#yes both of these are in my new Ari fic mwahahaha #read it if you already haven’t!!!#pls

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marvel-spidey · 1 year

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hi don’t mind me, i just randomly wanted to show some well deserved appreciation for these queens who are just the most incredible, talented writers when it comes to our lord and savior, matt murdock

@cellophaine, @courtforshort15 and @chvoswxtch, no oneee writes Matt the way you do, everytime i read one of your fics i get just so shocked at how well you are able to capture his character, and somehow keep it so realistic! i truly appreciate you, you are so important for this fandom and you do so much for us matt obsessed girlies and boys who just need some distractions from life sometimes 🥹

so everyone who is looking for GOOD QUALITY content about matt murdock, these 👆are the blogs you wanna follow!!!!

thank u so much for the time all of you put into your work, me and i’m sure other daredevil fans are so grateful for it ♥️🥺🥺

#daredevil #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil x you #matt murdock x you #daredevil fanfiction #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil x reader #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock smut #marvel x reader

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lilveeblog · 1 year

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theme park !

requested on twitter !

jj, emily and garcia having a blast at the themepark

< 1k

“Again! Again!” JJ screeched as the roller coaster came to a stop. She jumped out of the cart and rushed to get back in line. Emily however, felt sick to the stomach. She regretted agreeing to go on the ride with her little and now, her little was obsessed.

“I’ve got you Em, don’t worry,” Garcia laughed, rubbing Emily’s shaking shoulder.

“Please, I don’t think I can handle anymore,” she groaned and sat on a bench nearby.

“Come on!” JJ shouted from her place in the line, waving at the two.

“I’ll go, you rest,” Garcia confirmed, setting down the bags before heading over to the line with JJ. They’d been at the park for about three hours now and Emily was getting tired however JJ’s energy seemed to be never-ending.

“Maammmmmma,” JJ giggled loudly as Emily smudged the ice cream on her face. Emily and Penelope laughed loudly as JJ tried to lick the ice cream from all around her mouth. “Help me!” JJ whined. Emily leaned in slowly and began to lick her baby’s face clean, causing very loud giggles from her little monkey. Then it all stopped as a crowd of foil balloons flew past the group.

“Mamaaaa! I want I want I want!” JJ cried, stomping her feet excitedly.

“Ooh maybe before we go, baby! Do you want to go on another ride?” Emily suggested

“Horses!” JJ cheered, jumping up from the bench and heading towards the horse racing ride.

“Jennifer!” Emily sighed, grabbing the younger girl's wrist before she ran after someone selling balloons again.

“But Mama! I want one!” She huffed, stomping her foot and pouting at her caregiver.

“And I’ve told you when we are ready to leave. Are you ready to leave now?” Emily said softly, wrapping her arms around her pouting girl. JJ had been so so good all day. This was JJ’s little treat for being so well-behaved this week and getting so many stickers. She decided she wanted to go to the theme park.

“No, not yet!” JJ chirped up, standing on her tiptoes and looking around them. “We go that one!” She shouted suddenly, pointing to the biggest roller coaster in the park. Emily gulped. She hated rollercoasters, which is why she had dragged Garcia along but now Garcia was busy buying things in the gift shop and they’d all just eaten.

“We’ve just had some food why don’t we wait baby?” Emily offered, trying to tear away JJ’s attention,

“No mama!! That one! That oneee!” She whined, pulling at Emily’s arm.

“We’ll go on it soon angel, how about just the teacups hm?” Emily suggested, turning to the children’s ride which she felt a lot more comfortable on.

“No, rollercoaster,” JJ huffed, crossing her arms.

“Teacups.”

“Coaster!”

“Teacups,” Emily pleaded.

“Coaster now!” the stomp of the foot and the evil glare made Emily roll her eyes.

“JJ, mama has said not right now. I haven’t said no. Let’s stop throwing a tantrum in the middle of everything and go find Penny hm?”

“But mama I wan go on it now wif wooo,” JJ pouted.

“Jay come on, mama has asked you nicely. We are meant to be using our listening ears today.”

JJ whined loudly and threw back her head but Emily took her hand and walked her in the direction of Garcia.

Upon approaching Garcia, JJ huffed more and more causing a very confused look from Penelope.

“She’s grumpy because I won’t go on the big roller coaster with her,” Emily sighed, wrapping her arm around JJ’s shoulder.

“Another roller coaster?” Penelope teased, knowing Emily’s fear.

“Yeah, Penny! We gotta go on them alllllll,” JJ said, throwing up her hands. “But mama no wet me.”

“Mama will let you!” Emily argued. “But not yet, you’ve just eaten.”

“You’re a meanie bum,” Jj grumbled, turning away with her arms crossed. Emily laughed and just began walking around the gift shop, leaving Garcia to argue with JJ.

“Little Miss agreed that we can go on the boat ride again and then she wants to go on the coaster. The boat ride is about half an hour so that’s okay isn’t it em?” Garcia suggested, keeping hold of her little bestie’s hand.

“That’s a good choice! Well done for making a decision baby,” Emily praised and kissed JJ’s head. JJ just began skipping over to the boat ride. Emily was so thankful they’d avoided a tantrum.

The boat ride was nice and peaceful. JJ kept her head on Emily’s shoulder the entire time and Garcia motioned that the younger girl was beginning to fall asleep. Once they got off, Emily held JJ’s hand tightly as she came back around from her little nap although, from the look on her face, she seemed even more tired than before.

“I think it’s hometime baby,” Emily suggested and Garcia nodded but JJ shook her head, pointing to the large roller coaster. “Do you not think you’re a bit tired?”

“I not tired mama,” she whispered, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles. “We go on it now, pease!” she fluttered her eyelashes at Emily and pushed out her bottom lip. Emily chuckled.

“Garcia will go on with you, yeah?” Emily suggested and JJ nodded softly. She grabbed Garcia’s hand and they headed over to the line.

As soon as they got off the crazy fast rollercoaster, JJ cuddled into Emily - ready for a nap.

“Did you have fun?” Emily asked softly.

“Hmm, it goes up an down and round an round an up an upside down,” JJ told her sweetly, waving her hand in crazy motions too.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, angel,” Emily chuckled and kissed her head.

“Home time now mama,” JJ whispered, yawning.

“Home time now baby,” Emily confirmed, heading out the theme park.

#little!jj #cg!emily #criminal minds #criminal minds agere #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jj x emily #jj #jj criminal minds #little space

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starliights-shining · 1 year

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Howdy! I want to request SFW headcannons of 'Cybertron' Wing Saber. Thought the big guy needed some love.

Keep up the good work btw!

Helllooo, of course, id love to give Wing Saber some much needed love!!!! Thank you, I will be attempting to keep the work up and a posting schdule!! Anyways, Enjoy :)

Cybertronian S/O

I like to think Wing Saber didn't want his S/O to go AWOL with him, but you did. A smile on your face as you both disappeared.

He mostlikly has a fear of being abandoned, coming back to the place you both called home and youre not there. That is what keeps him going, he can not have to leave him.

He likes things to be "whatever happens, happens." Since he got fed up with taking orders, He's just chillin, doesn't really care if you or him are in charge. Freedom never felt so good anyways, but I feel like no matter what, he just wants to be left alone, no war, no cons, no bots. OMG like those surfer hippy vibes, just a tiny bit.

He def likes to explore glaxies with his S/O, servo in servo as you both mind you business and enjoy the views of other planets. Awwww thats just so cuteeeeee, if he proposed to you on some nice secret planet, not one for getting down on one knee he just looks over when he thinks the moments right and is like "Hey, you wanna like be my Conjux Enurea?", OMGGG IM GIGGLING LIKE A SCHOOOLLL GIRLLLLLL!! THATS SOI CUTEEEE

Okay Okay, now im thinking about if his S/O was a con before metting him, like went AWOL too and they met and were like ???? what so youre not a con or bot???? and then just kindaaa like fell in love, he'd do the same thing as the last oneee, just randomly go "hey, you wanna likee" omgggg

One more, one more. If you were a con, he'd be even more protective of you. Like not let you go to far without him, any mission Optimus wants to send you on, you both go together, but its like so sweet, becasue he's afraid something would happen to you. He practically begs Prime to send you on mission where he for sure knows the probablity of cons are so LOW, Our big fella isn't taking any chances with it.

Human S/O

Wing Saber would be far to curious on how you, a small fleshy human, could love and want to be with a bot as big and large as him. A single digit coming to poke at you with the question, "Why me, why not another human." But you just can't tell him why, you dont know yourself.

He for sure loves how small you are, small hands grabbing and pulling at his servos as he talks to the other bots. I think he also loves the way you have to look all the way up at him. I 1000% think he is meant to be with a small S/O, someone he feels like he can portect and not mess up with, would it be easier if you were his size? I dont know, Maybe, but he doesnt care.

He likes carrying you around, keeping you in his servo as he moves around base. Its like when you pick up a ladybug or something and you just smile and silently stare at it crawl all over your hand. HE IS FASCINATED!

I like the idea of certain Cybertronians letting their human S/O take naps in their servos with a little pillow and blanket, and im feeling it with Wing Saber. He craddles your napping body in his hand close to his chassis, ;-; omgggg!

I feel like he likes to make jokes with his S/O, short jokes, bot jokes, con jokes, human jokes, he just wants to hear your laugh, because he loves you farrr to much then he'd like to admit.

I feel like he might have a small little obsession with planes. Its like those small kids who are obsessed with trains and stuff, he loves planes, so you bring plane books you see at stores and stuff, bring them to him and boy oh boy he ight fall in love allllll over againnnn.

#transformers #transformers cybertron #Wing saber #tf wing saber #Wing Saber x reader #transformers x reader #tf cybertron x reader #tf cybertron #cybertron #cybertron x reader #wing saber headcannons #transformers armada #unicron trilogy #stars hcs

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anon-wilford · 1 year

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I might have to single handedly pump out Dr. Oz Cromwell fics on my own as I only saw ONEEE bc magic! And the boys who love me seems lile a newer game and such.

And am obsessed with him lmao. He's a character with everything I love. Doctor, blue eyes, white hair, mysterious, kind, not so confident, a terrible past with trust issues and parents leaving him, angdt, angst and god I can project so much shit onto this.

I will do my best to do him justice.

#Oz Cromwell #M!atbwlm #Magic! And the boys who love me #Please let there be at least a handful of people who feel the same somewhere and actually want some fics hhg #Occ

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mydigitaldiaryz · 2 months

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Entry Log #9

God, I have a lot of things on my mind right now that I want to type out. I'll probably ditch out after one or two thought, so expect a continuation of this entry later. With each thought, I'll be labeling it. longggg oneee. Honestly, shouldn't even bother reading it. Just drop this a like because I love the validation it gives me 😭!!!!

TW; talks of suicide, selfharm, idk what else but just beware

#1)

I might head into recovery, almost for the fucks sake of it. I don't know, maybe a sudden change of heart, or just because one spark of joy happened that will probably cease the moment I wake up tomorrow, but I'm doing some damage control. If I die soon, which is a high consideration, I don't want ugly scars on my body when I'm found, nor look fucked up. Also, I've been trying to get more positive thoughts, to steer myself from actually pulling anything stupid, like actually popping pills by the bottle or really freaking out and ending it all.

I've conjured up some methods. First, if I think super hard/seriously about committing or self harming, I'll drop down and do 20 push-ups or 2 minutes straight of planking, (obviously only at home. Why the hell would I do that in public. Plus, they'll all add up.)

Second, I'll do a stop, drop, and roll method. The reason I choose this method was because my suicidal tendencies are similar to a fire spreading all over my body, if I don't do anything about it, it will continue to ignite me and burn/hurt me in a bad way. So obviously, I have to get rid of it. In the funnest way possible, (so recovery doesn't make me struggle that bad.)

Third, is honestly just throwing a temper tantrum in my room. Scream, kick, and whining all around. Hell, I'll probably let myself claw at the walls. For a great chuckle later, I could just act out dramatically how I feel, like collapsing to my knees the moment I shut my room door after a miserable day at school like a cartoon character in a movie. I just picked this one to let me mess around a bit, because I'll probably find it funny of me later on throwing a fit. Of course, I'll never act on this method in public. That one is only for the security of my room and my room only.

Except, this is a might situation. I'll look at how I feel tomorrow and see if I'm willing enough to go through this little recovery plan of mine, even if it will probably be short-lived, atleast I tried.

#2)

I have conflicted feelings with my girlfriend. This is just my first time really feeling love since I've never felt this way with a person before, or I think so. I never really felt how it was like being in genuine love with a person, so I have no clue. Like love, I have this sort of odd obsession with her, wanting her to know all about me and me knowing everything about her, yadda, yadda, like all lovely relationships have. Except, I don't know if I'm forcing all of this. Sometimes, it feels forced for me to love her, but other times the love between us feels so natural how our bodies just connect together like a puzzle, or how are hands 'n lips can simply find each other so easily.

I think I might have wanted this, but then again, this was also forced on me by my friends. So I don't really know. I mean, I do suppose I see a future with her, I can feel myself feeling genuine feelings for her, but I don't know if I wanted this in the first place. Sometimes, it irks me out. Us acting all romantic, especially in public, it makes me feel disgusted.

Wait, I think I slightly understand what I'm feeling. I do not like PDA, but she does it anyways. I don't like us doing PDA because I want our relationship to be secret and stuff, and I especially don't want anybody knowing that I'm gay, it honestly makes me feel grossed out when I'm out in the open like that. I told her this already, but she seemed sad when I told her, so I reassured her that I still wanted to hold her hand. Except, after I told her that, she held my hand again and I felt forced to do that instead of feeling like I wanted to. I don't know if you guys, (the person who is reading this) gets me, but I don't fucking get this either. Lowkey, I'm shitting all of my thoughts out all at once, so I don't know either. All I can say is that sometimes the relationship between me and my girlfriend feels forced and uncomfortable. I still love her though, I just don't understand why I feel that way towards her.

I just don't know. I feel severely uncomfortable at times, especially when she kisses me in public. In private, it's fine, but in the out and open where everybody can see us makes me feel almost disgusted in a way. I think I should be happy about this though?? The fact she is so willing to love somebody like me with no shame in public?? And she even bothers to see me like every day?? I should be happy but I just feel so.... Unsettled with the fact.

I think it's because I know people can see us do this, and I know not all people accept gay people. I think I just don't want to have my reputation ruined any more than I do, being a weird, lame, freakish loser and having 'gay' added onto there doesn't look any better. I don't want her reputation ruined either, I don't know why she's so unafraid of doing that in public, knowing how much homophobic people there are. Maybe I'm just selfish. I'm probably being mean. I probably won't bring this up with her because it's making her happy, so I'll go along with it.

#3)

Going to school without any painkillers after a while sucked so bad. I hated how emotional I felt during it all. I was so pissed off for no reason the entire time, absolutely frustrated. I don't even get what was up, and everything just felt so awkward. Jesus, remembering today is making me annoyed still. Everybody was just making me so agitated, even hearing somebody talk to me made me just want to scream and claw at my head until it's nothing more than the innards of my brain.

Nothing yet also everything happened today. Same routine, except every single of my senses were heightened ten-fold. Especially noise.

#4)

I'm tired. goodnight if you managed to read to the end. remember to like the post n follow me if u enjoy reading my thoughts. ur practically getting a full vision or a 75 percent headshot of what my daily thoughts are or yea h idk what im saying now god i just beed to sleep

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