#Ok i fucking for real have to go to sleep i have to get up for class in 5 hours. wuit your college join my emo(daily affirmations)

[anastasiabowe]

I hope this isn't too much, but, can you write about JJK (Nanamin Toji and Choso) men and how they have a plus size girlfriend, and can you make it nsfw? It's ok if you can't! Happy Belated valentines day!💖💖

𝙏𝙤𝙤 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙈𝙚 - JJK men with plus size reader!

note: I loved writing this so much, this is one of my favorite requests! Also I'm making my way through requests for real this time💀

𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨:

♡ 𝙉𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙞 - The Admirer

Not another day goes by without Nanami being infatuated with you. Nanami always stops dead in his tracks when he sees you every morning dragging your feet into the kitchen, lazily smiling at him as you wiped the sleep from your eyes. He always puts whatever he was doing or eating down so he can get up and help wake you up with kisses and coffee breath.

Nanami never found anything wrong with you whenever you looked unhappy at yourself. He usually asks you what's the matter and gets shocked every time you mumble out "I'm fat." It hurts him every time you say that, knowing saying it seals it deeper into your head, making it a reality. Nanami never knew what to say when you say that but the usual "you're not fat, you're beautiful!" Which he too knows is getting old. Nanami knew nothing he said would completely erase the idea from your head since he himself is quite fit and muscular. But, he does know one way as to which helps you temporarily forget.

"Not there, Ngh! I'm sensitive there!" You squeal when he is laying on you, softly sucking on your tits. You guys didn't have much time, but he knew how to get you going fast.

"just relax baby, you know this feels good." His deep voice rung in your ears as he slowly brought his hand down to your cunt slipping it under your dress. "You're so beautiful Y/n, especially like this. You make me insane for you, absolutely psycho." He groans as he felt how wet you were. Your lips were red and wet from you biting on them. Everything felt so good, and there was nothing you wanted more than to be like this.

Nanami took his time, even though you guys had a dinner to attend, he had to slowly bring you to your high so it could crash down in the ultimate euphoric finish. He knew you were close by the increase of you squirming and pushing his shoulder with your hand so he could give your boobs a break.

"Uh uh, move your hands." He lowly commanded as his fingers inserted into you. You let out a moan gripping the back of Nanamin's head pushing him deeper into your chest.

"I-im cumming! Don't stop Kento, please don't stop!" You begged as he sped everything up. His tongue flicked your reddened nipples and his thumb circled your clit at the same time as his fingers fucked you finally pushing you over into a coma.

You let out a choked moan and Nanami chuckled as he helped you ride out your orgasm, taking his fingers from your cunt and and licked/sucked them clean.

"So fucking beautiful, fuck, it hurts just to look at you so cute and perfect for me. Too perfect for me."

♡ 𝙏𝙤𝙟𝙞 - The Fondler

Always touching you somewhere. You used to think that maybe he genuinely didn't realize how touchy he was, but you soon realized that he knows what he's doing. You guys could be simply watching a movie on a 4 seat couch, and out of those 4 seats, only 2 were taken. He would be either pulling you as close as you could into him, if he'd be laying on you.

He seemed like the type to hate clingy girls but he's the clingy one in the relationship! I mean everywhere you go, he's maybe 3 inches away, body touching yours, and hands gripping somewhere, and what I mean by somewhere, it's ass, tits, or thighs. You guys would be in Walmart and he'd have his hand in your back pant pocket, every once and a while squeezing your ass cheek. You guys could be driving home, his hand obviously on your thighs, or you could be simply reading a book in bed, and he'd be laying over you, one hand on your tits and the other holding his phone as he scrolled or watched something.

"Fucking love this ass, but you already know that though." Toji chuckled as his hips and your ass collided every 2 seconds. He loved how your ass rippled when you both made contact. He loved how he could grip you hips and squeeze the flesh on them, giving him the perfect handles to fuck you into oblivion. He knows that no matter how much he loves you and your body you will always find some reason to fucking hate yourself.

All through this fuck session, he keeps finding more things that you had said throughout the day about how much you hated your tummy, hated how wide you looked, hated your thighs and how they rubbed against each other, how much you hated how your feet hurt all the damn time. He never hated any of those, he never hated you, he never disliked any part of you, actually, how could he? You were so fine in so many different ways that even he himself gets surprised by, but he shouldn't because you are ethereal.

"Can't. Fucking. Get. Enough. Of. You." Toji said breathlessly as he now had you in the mating press. His hard chest against your soft tits felt so amazing in a weird way to him. Having your cute face so close, and your thighs wrapped around him had him cumming faster than usual.

"Sh-shit baby, I'm gonna cu-" he groaned loudly as he finished inside of you. You giggled, shocked he came this quick, but also turned on by how hot he was.

He didn't realize how much you turned him on until he really started thinking about it. Shit, now he's gonna have to work on not cumming so fast just thinking about you.

♡ 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 - The Overachiever

Choso always felt like he had something to prove with you, but definitely not in a bad way. He genuinely thinks you are way out of his league. Anything you complained about, he'd be there to do it better and more efficiently. If your feet hurt, he'd give you a whole massage AND he'd wash your feet. If you didn't like how the food tasted from a fast food restaurant, he'd go back and order a new meal telling them exactly what to do and how to do it better. He wanted to praise you, wanted to be there at your every need and desire. And when I mean every need and desire, I mean every need and desire.

Choso would do everything in his power to let you know how much he loved you. If you complained about anything you didn't like about yourself, that'd be everything he worshiped until you thought differently.

So when you complained about how your tummy couldn't fit into your jeans, he'd fuck you and fondle and praise how much he loved your tummy, "Fuck, I fucking love your tummy so fucking much, love it so much I wanna see it full with my baby, fuck imagine having my baby, oh that'd be so fucking hot." Even though you knew what he was doing and how it might be corny sometimes, it still made you love yourself so much more.

On that matter, if you weighed yourself and complained how you gained a few pounds, he will strictly fuck you by either carrying you or having you sit on his face, his favorite was the latter.

"Cho baby, I can't!" You whispered as he tried to tug you down on his face.

"Yes you can, and you will. Sit on my fucking face." His usual soft and cute demeanor was shifted into a dominant commanding demeanor. You only held yourself up by the help of the headboard, not even trying to lower yourself, afraid you might hurt him.

"Chooo, I don't wanna hurt you, please can we do something else?" You cried out. You did deep down wanted to sit on his face and have him ruin you, but it'd be so embarrassing if he'd tap your leg because he felt like you were crushing him. Choso only sighed and forcefully pulled you down catching you off gaurd. His arms locked around the base of your thighs, securing you onto his face. He even pushed his face up into your cunt to get deeper. You let out a moan as you felt him instantly sucking on your clit.

"F-fuck Cho, feels so good!" He chuckled sending vibrations straight to your core. His fingers dug into your thighs as his eyes rolled back. Your hand found its way to Choso's dick, you leaned back a little and started pumping his rock hard dick. You began to feel confident that he was okay, and you could finally relax, which Choso was so happy you did. You tasted so amazing, and he felt so amazing tasting yummy, and you touching him. Soon Choso came, and you right after. Your body shook as he continued to hold you down on his face, overstimulating you both.

Choso finally released his grip, letting you get off of his face and lay beside him. He had a cute smile on his face and looked so out of it. You laughed and he looked over at you. "We need to do this more often."

#jjk nanami #jujutsu nanami #kento nanami #nanami kento #nanami smut #Nanami x plus size reader #jjk toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji #toji smut #jjk choso #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso kamo #kamo choso #choso smut #plus size girls #requests are open

[clementine-writes-things]

"Run Rabbit, Run!" pt.2 - E.N

Summary: After getting sent to Arkham, Edward requests to see Y/n Wayne. The visit is not what y/n expected at all...(this might not be entirely consistent with the first part, but just ignore those parts pls. I have exams soon so I'm balancing writing and college and running on like 5 hours of sleep each day 😭 I'm still rlly proud of this tho <3 I hope u like it)

Pt.1 here pt.3 here

Content Warning: 18+, explicit language, AFAB!Reader, she/her pronouns, egotistical!Edward, stalker!Edward, yandere!Edward, brief mention of suicide, mentions of rough sex, EXTREMELY graphic descriptions of sexual intercourse, sexual content, dirty talk, daddy issues, daddy kink, praising, degrading, choking, slapping, edward referring to himself as a fox and y/n a rabbit, mentions of blood, mentions of murder, mentions of guns, mentions of torture. (Edward is a freak in this. This is kinda like joker/harley dynamic except there is no abuse, it's just that Edward is so fucking charming that y/n is OBSESSED with him.)

Word Count: 7k+

Songs For Inspo:

YOU'RE TOO SLOW (Bonus) - Odetari

Freak Show - Punkinloveee, h3artcrush

I LOVE YOU HOE (W/ 9lives) -Odetari

She' So Nice - Pink Guy

Custer - Slipknot

~Read Below Cut~

Y/n sat on her bed, head in her hands as she wept. Bruce put a hand on her back, rubbing comforting circles. It was a huge blow to her gut. She had fallen in love with Edward over the months they had been friends. The two of them had gotten so close. And now, she had found out that he was The Riddler. The real humiliating part? It was right under her nose. Though she had suspicions, she never wanted to believe them, so she ignored every red flag she saw.

"I'm really sorry." Bruce said.

"Bruce, is it bad that I still care about him?" She asked, tears forming in her eyes.

He sighed.

"No, I don't think so. He was your friend."

She nodded, wiping away the tears that spilled down her cheeks. Bruce frowned, pulling her in for a hug. After the whole incident happened, Bruce immediately went to y/n's apartment, outside of his armor of course. He knew she lived nearby and he wanted to make sure his sister was ok. Y/n had told him about the man she met in a bookstore, and from what she had shared with him, he was a good person. But, he should know better than anyone how easily one can hide their true self.

"I'm surprised he didn't try and hurt you. You're a Wayne and it seems like he has a grudge against our family."

"He has every right to hold a grudge against us!"

Bruce pulled away from the hug, confusion on his face. Y/n sighed, standing up and going to her nightstand. She opened it up and pulled out a file. Tossing it to Bruce, she crossed her arms over her chest. Inside was pictures of the old orphanage that was once Wayne Manor. Pictures of the living conditions, children, and even Edward were in there. Y/n had done some serious digging to get this information, though, it was easy if you were a Wayne of course.

"He lived in the orphanage, Bruce. His entire life. Our dad offered him a better life, told him that he could work for W.I."

"He did?" He asked, looking through the pictures.

"Yes, he did. Edward, he applied so many times to the Renewal project. But...dad and mom..." She trailed.

Bruce looked up at her, feeling his heart sink.

"...well, you and I were too young to take charge of anything. So, he was left to rot in that prison. He told me about the things he experienced there, Bruce. It haunts me that Wayne Enterprises let children suffer. We could have easily helped those poor children." She sniffled, holding back tears.

"Jesus."

"You think we're sad orphans, Bruce? Look at those pictures. Look at how they lived..."

He did. He saw all of it. The rats. The horrible beds that they had to sleep in, if they even could. Bruce felt cold just looking at the pictures. He winced as he saw one picture of a child, bite marks on their hands and fingers.

"When I was older, I found out about this. That's why I live out here, Bruce. I want to live like everyone else does. I donate to the orphanages, I do check ups to make sure everything is good, I donate to hospitals, I do volunteering. But, it was Edward who showed me how truly terrible this city is. Yes, he murdered people...but they were bad people Bruce. You know this. That's why he didn't go after me..."

"It sounds like you're defending his actions..." He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not! I'm just...he's not a bad person, Bruce. Sick in the head, sure. I'm just worried about him..." She mumbled.

"Y/n, he murdered people."

"And you go around beating people up in a bat costume! Maybe you belong in Arkham too." She spat.

"I don't kill people."

"Well, maybe if you did this city would be safer!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I-..I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm just shaken up. Frankly, I could give a shit about the people he killed, they were all scum. I'm just worried about Edward."

"Well, he's in Arkham, he's safe there. He can't hurt anyone and he can't hurt himself."

"I guess...not the most humane place though."

Y/n's phone rang, making both of them fall silent. Who could be calling this late at night? It had been an hour since Edward was apprehended, making it 1 A.M. She looked at Bruce before answering the phone.

"This is Y/n Wayne, who is this?"

'Ms. Wayne, this is Cap-...Commissioner Gordon.'

"Commissioner Gordon! Um, what's the matter?"

Bruce raised an eyebrow.

'It's 'The Riddler'. He's asked to see you in Arkham.'

"Oh, um...ok, I'll be there."

Y/n hung up the phone.

"It's Edward. He's requested to see me..."

"And you're going?" He asked.

"Well, of course I am. I need an explanation, some closure. He's still my friend, Bruce."

He sighed.

"I'm surprised he hasn't asked to see me. He seemed so obsessed with gaining my attention. Um, you're not going to tell him that I'm..."

"No, Bruce. I'm not an idiot. Can you drive me to Arkham, please? It'd be nice to have you there."

"Yeah, that's ok..."

~

When the Wayne siblings arrived, everyone practically worshipped them. Offering to open doors, constantly saying 'Ms. Wayne' and 'Mr. Wayne'. It annoyed the both of them a lot, though Bruce was the one who could hide the annoyance. Y/n, however, could not. Yes, she loved her family, but she didn't want to be seen as simply 'the Wayne daughter'. It put her on a high pedestal that she hated being on.

"Fuck, there he is." She mumbled, looking at him through the one way window.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. Um, I know there is camera in the room, but do they pick up audio too? I'd prefer for our conversation to be private."

Bruce looked at the security officer.

"Oh, um, no ma'am they do not pick up sound. They only serve as surveillance to make sure an inmate doesn't try and do something they shouldn't. Sometimes we hold therapy sessions in here too, so, legally we can't record sound."

"Ok, thank you. Alright, I'm going in."

"I love you, little sis."

"I love you too, big brother."

Y/n took a deep breath as she opened the door. Edward's gaze landed on her immediately, causing her to feel small. Yes, y/n had always been slightly intimidated by Edward, but even more so now. He did not look like a person who was capable of violence, and yet he murdered multiple people. It was startling. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she sat down in the chair on the other side of the glass.

"Mmm, I knew you'd come..." He hummed.

"You're still my friend, Edward. I care about you."

He chuckled, deciding he'd circle back to that topic later. Tilting his head to the side, he raised his hands up slowly so the guard didn't get jumpy. Edward pointed at the thing in their hands.

"What's that?" He asked.

Y/n opened up the slot underneath the glass. She slid the item into the box, closing the lid. It fell to Edward's side, and he picked it up. A small smile formed on his lips. It was y/n's copy of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. Y/n watched as he flipped through the pages, immediately feeling himself grow warm with happiness.

"I was going to bring you a blanket, but they said that it was a safety hazard. They said you could hang yourself with it." She grumbled.

"Well, this is still a nice present."

It fell silent in the visiting room. The only sound was the flipping of the pages as Edward skimmed through the book. He looked so nonchalant, as if he didn't just snipe Falcone less than 2 hours ago. Though, to be fair, his death wasn't that distressing. Y/n was just startled by how calm he was, especially with where he was.

"Edward, why did you call me here?"

"Hm, I'm not entirely sure...I suppose I just wanted to see my 'friend' again." He smiled innocently.

Y/n huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Edward smirked, humming to himself like he usually did. His fingers rapped against the book, creating small tap sounds. Eventually, y/n just rolled her eyes.

"Look, if you aren't going to talk to me then I'll just go."

"Oh, you will? Ok then, go ahead."

Y/n looked at him, cheeks tinted slightly pink. He had that smug grin on his face, y/n had seen it a lot. Edward had that look when he won a game they were playing or if he stumped y/n on a riddle. But, this time it was more sinister. It sent chills down her spine and she stayed put in the chair. Edward chuckled, nodding his head slowly. He didn't have to say anything, they both knew he called her out on her bluff. Sighing, he looked at her with kind eyes, but his tone of voice was the complete opposite. He was so good at pretending to be something he was not.

"Y/n Wayne, you knew who I was for a while. Why didn't you say anything?" He questioned.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about, Edward."

"Hm, so you never saw the mask in my pocket that one night? You never saw the tiny dots of blood on my face ? The riddles never raised a red flag?" He asked, continuing to flip through the book.

Y/n was silent, looking down at her hands shamefully. Edward tutted, shaking his head. Coolly, he read a small part of the page he was on before looking back up at y/n. She nodded, admitting that she saw them all.

"Uh huh, so why didn't you say anything? I'm dying to know the answer..."

"I-It was because you were my...friend, Edward. I was conflicted."

He kept his face neutral as he looked at her.

"Mmm, there's that word again. Friend. I know you're lying about your answer, so I'll make a deal with you. I'll tell you a secret I've been keeping for a while, and you in return will give me an honest answer. Sound fair?" He asked.

Before she could answer, he started to talk again.

"I've been stalking you for months, y/n. Long before I 'met' you in that bookstore. Did you know that?" He giggled.

"What?"

"Did you really think I just happened to show up in your favorite bookstore? That I just happened to live directly across from you? I know everything about you, y/n. I've been watching you. Studying you. Like a predator stalks their prey."

"You're fucking with me, Edward. That's not funny." She scolded.

"Oh, I don't think it's funny either. I'm being very serious, y/n. Now, why don't you tell me the truth about why you never ratted me out?"

"What the fuck..." She mumbled.

"Well? I'm waiting for an answer."

She was taken aback by his secret, but it made sense the more she thought about it. Of course he had stalked her. She was just too fucking stupid to see it. The thought of Edward stalking her for months before they met scared the shit out of her. But, at the same time, it excited her.

"Y-You're a creep! I trusted you! I lov-..." She trailed.

"Aha, there's the answer I was looking for! Go on, say it." He cackled.

She sighed, looking at her hands again.

"I loved you, Edward. That's why I never said anything."

"Loved? Oh no, you still love me y/n. I know you do. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here."

"I do not love you! You're a psycho, a creep, and a murderer!" She spat.

"You knew all of those things before, yet you still were 'friends' with me. Isn't that right?" Edward smirked.

"W-"

"And don't act like you hate the idea of me stalking you. I know who you are, y/n. You're so easy to read."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about..."

Edward sighed in annoyance, propping his forearms up on the metal ledge. He maintained his neutral facial expression as he looked at her. Y/n felt small under his gaze and he knew it. He knew he had power over her. He always would.

"Tell me, doesn't the thought of me watching you from my apartment excite you? Waiting all night for even the tiniest glimpse of you? I know how much you crave attention from others." Edward suavely said.

"I-I mean..."

"Oh, precious Y/n never got the attention she so desperately wanted growing up. No mommy and daddy to tell her 'I'm so proud of you, sweet girl!'. Isn't that right, rabbit?" He cooed.

Y/n felt a chill go down her spine. He was right. Fuck, he was good at reading people. Sniffling, y/n nodded her head. How the hell was he doing this to her?

"Oh, the poor thing. You have such a kind heart, always giving and giving and giving. When has anyone ever given you anything in return? When was the last time someone praised you?" He asked.

Y/n reached up, wiping a tear from her eye quickly.

"S-So long..."

"That just won't do, will it? No, I don't think it will."

She looked at him, lips quivering.

"You know who is proud of you? Eddie."

He watched as she smiled softly. Edward loved seeing her smile so much. If he could just capture a picture of it and keep it, he was sure he would never feel sadness ever again.

"Y-You are?" She sniffled.

"Of course I am, sweetheart. You make me so proud. There are so many things you're good at that deserve praise. Your art, your constant donations to charity, your kind heart, my oh my the list goes on!" He chuckled.

Y/n was blushing like a school girl. To be completely honest, she didn't care that Edward had stalked her. Sure, it was a little jarring, but he was the first person to show her genuine love in a long time. Y/n was head over heels for him and there was nothing she could do about it. The heart wants what it wants after all.

"Oh, there's that beautiful smile. Such a pretty girl. But, y/n, I do have one thing I'm not proud of at all."

"W-What dad-...Edward?"

He smiled to himself at her near 'slip up'. If she had called him it, he wouldn't have minded at all. Actually, he would have loved it...

"You see, you lie to me a lot. You think I never notice, but I do."

"I-I'm sorry..."

"Do not apologize, y/n. All will be forgiven if you just tell me the truth about one thing."

"O-Ok!"

"That's my girl, now, the 'bad dream' you had earlier. I believe you didn't tell me the full story. Why don't you tell Eddie alllll about it?" He grinned.

"O-Oh...um, I-..." She trailed.

"You can tell me anything, rabbit. I'll keep it as a secret."

Swallowing a lump in her throat, she nodded softly. Edward kept his gaze on her. It was a good thing that the cameras didn't record audio, because he knew what was coming. Yes, he already knew what the dream centered around, but he wanted to hear her say it. He wanted to hear the filthy words leave her mouth.

"W-Well, I was honest about dreaming that you were the Riddler..."

"And you were right! You're so smart." He praised.

Y/n should have felt disgusted at how light hearted he was, but she wasn't. It was upsetting how in love she was with him. She was y/n Wayne and she was in love with The Riddler. But, the shame behind that brought excitement. It was a secret between the two of them, a forbidden love. Just like Romeo & Juliet.

"...but you um, you were frightening. A-And, I um...liked it." She mumbled.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Can you elaborate?"

"I th-thought it was hot...that you um, were making me scared. Um, you were being really um...rough." She stuttered.

Edward felt his dick slowly getting hard. He cursed the glass in his head and the cameras. If he could he'd reach right across and give y/n something to dream about for years to come. Groaning softly, he nodded his head. He wasn't going to be vague anymore. He was going to be blunt.

"Did I fuck you?"

"I-..no. I w-woke up before anything like that happened." She admitted.

"Mmm, so you got all worked up over a dream I didn't even fuck you in? You must have really loved what I was saying and doing in it, huh?" He teased.

"Yeah. I-I did."

"You say we're friends, y/n. But, do friends say they love each other in a romantic way? Do friends have wet dreams about each other?" He asked.

"N-No, they don't..."

"That's right. Mmm, I've had dreams of you too, rabbit. Filthy, filthy, dreams." Edward shivered.

Y/n shifted in her seat, arousal soaking through her panties. Edward could tell she was turned on. She couldn't keep still, thighs subtly rubbing together. He tutted and shook his head.

"Now, now, you better stop that. You don't want to get caught, do you? How embarrassing would that be to have your brother find out that The Riddler was making your pussy wet? I'd be mortified if I were you." He taunted.

She whimpered, ceasing the movement of her legs. Edward could see how much willpower it was taking her not to do it. Amused, he smiled and tilted his head. He was going to torment her, tease her until she was merely a puddle on the chair.

"Ever since I first saw you, I was fascinated. That fascination turned into love. And with most love, comes lust. And oh, my sweet rabbit, I have never wanted someone as badly as I want you."

"R-Really?"

"Believe me when I say that I want to ruin you, y/n."

Y/n whined, resisting the urge to dive her hands down her pants. Edward scoffed, resting his hands back in his lap. He grabbed his dick through his pants, adjusting it.

"I have much more to say, y/n. I suggest you do your best to keep your face neutral. But you can moan, just quietly. I would very much love to hear you moan. I've wondered what it might sound like."

She nodded, gaining her composure as much as she could. Sighing, Edward looked towards the ceiling. It looked as if he was collecting his thoughts. Y/n nearly trembled in anticipation.

"I've had so many dreams of you. Some of them are sweet. Those ones consist of us going on dates, maybe a park or a movie." He said.

"That sounds nice."

"It does, doesn't it?" He smiled.

"But the other ones, ohhh, they are filthy. They are so vulgar that I'm not sure I should let them fall upon your ears." He hummed playfully.

"N-No, I want to hear! Please daddy!" She blurted out, covering her mouth with her hand.

He smiled gently, his dick twitching underneath his pants. A soft groan left his lips. Edward was wishing a painful death the the guard watching their visit. He wished for the cameras to power down and for the glass to disappear.

"You sound just like you do in my dreams. I can't say no to how pathetic that sounded."

Y/n blushed, rubbing her thigh with her hand. It was out of view of the cameras and the window, so Edward allowed it.

"I've had dreams where you're on your knees, begging for me. You always look so desperate and needy every time. It's such a pitiful sight that I can't help but give you what you want. Do you know what you want in those dreams?" He asked flatly.

"W-What, da-" She paused.

"Oh rabbit, you can call me that if you'd like. It sounds so good rolling of your tongue..." Edward smirked.

"Ok, daddy...um, what do I want in your dreams?"

Leaning forward, he got closer to the glass. A cocky, toothy smile plastered over his face. His eyes were bright and happy, as if he was about to tell her a funny joke. Raising up his hands, slowly, he made a very subtle 'jerking' motion.

"To get fucked like a whore, obviously." He laughed.

Y/n whimpered. Her chest was tightening from how aroused she was. She took a deep breath, letting it out through pursed lips. Edward grinned, seeing how worked up he was making her.

"Oh, but you're not a whore. No, far from it. In my dreams I may fuck you like one, but you don't act like one. Once I'm done giving you a good dick down, you get so clingy. You're so dependent on me, never wanting to leave my side. It's so precious. I only hope that you're like that outside of my dreams too." He cooed.

"Y-Yes, I am! I-I'm here, after all. I missed you..."

"Oh, that's so sweet. I shoot and kill Carmine Falcone and the first thing you think of is 'I want Edward! Where's Eddie? I miss him so much!'. Is that right?"

"Well, not exactly."

"Hm?"

"I cried first..."

Edward felt a pang in his chest. It genuinely hurt his heart to hear her say that. He never wanted to make her cry, unless it was from pleasure.

"You poor thing, I never though about how you'd feel. I never wanted to make you cry, I just wanted to get rid of the scum that pollutes Gotham." He frowned.

"I know, I may not agree with the murdering...but I'm not saying I miss Falcone either. It just scared me. I was just worried about what would happen to you..."

"You were worried about me, rabbit? You don't need to do that. I can take care of myself, y/n." He smiled.

She nodded. Edward could tell that she felt sad. He did not want her to be sad, not at all.

"You know I love you, y/n. Right?" He asked.

"Y-Yes, I do."

"I did it all for you. I had different plans for Gotham before. I was going to do something far worse, but you made me change my mind. I just want you to live in a city where you can be safe."

Y/n smiled. It was a messed up way to show he loved and cared for her, but she hadn't been loved before. She didn't care anymore, she just was warmed that he wanted her to be safe. Even if he did it through murdering crooked and corrupt people. She blushed, looking down at her hands.

"No, no, don't hide your face. I want to see it." He asked softly.

She looked back up, faint pink dusted on the tip of her nose and her cheeks. Edward loved that about her so much. He thought it made her look so happy and gentle. He chuckled, clapping his hands together as much as he could with the handcuffs on.

"There she is, the prettiest thing in Gotham." He smiled.

"You're making me blush, Edward..." She mumbled.

"I know and I love it. I love watching you get flustered, it's so precious. If only I could touch you..." He sighed.

"Why do you want to touch me?" She asked.

"Well, I want to hold you and kiss you, y/n. That the first thing I want to do." Edward hummed.

"First? Wh-what are the other things?"

"The things I dream of, rabbit." He grinned.

"Tell me more about the dreams!" Y/n said.

He tutted, wagging his finger back and forth. Eyes were squinted as he disapprovingly frowned. He rested his forearms back on the metal ledge, smiling cockily.

"Now, that sounded like a demand. You aren't telling me to do something without asking nicely, are you?"

"N-No, I'm sorry! P-Please, tell me more Eddie." She corrected herself.

"That sounds much better."

He looked her up and down, sighing happily.

"Tell you more, hm? But there are so many dreams, so many fantasies. Though, one thing stays the same in every single one." Edward stated.

"What is that?" Y/n asked curiously.

He planted his hands on the cold surface, leaning towards the glass. His face turned into a very sadistic and comical expression. Dramatically, he emphasized his words.

"You take my dick like a fucking champ..." He smirked.

Y/n moaned, letting out a breathy sigh. Edward stayed in his close position, not finished with what he was saying.

"I'd fuck you so perfectly that nobody else's dick could even make you feel a fraction as good. But before I'd do that, I'd make sure you're on the brink of tears in desperation. You don't get dicked unless I believe you've earned it. I'd want you on your knees, begging, whimpering, groveling at my feet in hopes that I'll fuck your needy pussy." He chuckled.

Y/n's mouth was slightly agape, startled by how blunt he was. He looked like such a shy person, yet he was a total freak. Again, he was so good at pretending to be someone he was not. Everything he was saying seemed so out of character for him, but in reality, it was his true self. Y/n was just the only one who could bring that side out of him. Edward groaned, pointing at her mouth. He seemed irritated or frustrated, either one really.

"That pretty mouth, it's practically asking me to fuck it. Those lips look so plump and soft. Oh rabbit, open up, let me see your tongue." He asked, on the verge of pleading.

She hesitated slightly, but did as he said. Of course she did. No matter what, she would listen to and do what he said. She was his property, and they both knew it. None of them had to even say it. It was obvious that y/n was Edward's girl. Titles weren't necessary. She was simply his, as much as he was hers. Y/n let her tongue roll out and let Edward look at it for a bit. She did it in a way so that the cameras didn't see, and if they did, it just looked like she was yawning in a way. He covered his mouth with his fingers, doing his best to not jerk off at the brief sight of her tongue.

"Ffffuu...it's a blessing that I can't touch you. Your throat would be raw after I finish with you..." He groaned.

Y/n whined, spreading her legs open subtly. Edward looked down, seeing the obvious damp spot over her pelvic region. His tongue darted out and swiped over his lips. Her eyes were silently screaming 'Please, I want you!' and he loved it. Once again, he cursed the glass between them. He just wanted to devour her, taste her, eat her alive like a fox eats a rabbit. She probably tasted so sweet...

"I wish you could see how you look right now. It's so pitiful. You look like you want to be fucked so bad. Do you want to be fucked?" He groaned.

"Y-Yes, I need it daddy..." She shivered.

"Need? You desperate thing, tell me why you need to get fucked by me."

"B-Because I'm so w-wet...it aches..." Y/n whined.

"Poor rabbit, if he could daddy would bend you over and fuck you against this glass." He said flatly.

Y/n moaned softly, making Edward grip his pants. The sound was nearly enough to make him bust all over the hospital uniform. Not wanting to draw attention, Edward looked at the book again. He pretended to read it.

"You said you dreamt I was rough with you, yet I didn't even fuck you? Well, I can promise you that I'd never hurt you with your permission, I want you to know that. I love you too much to do that to you. I believe that trust and safety is important when doing things like that. So, do you trust me, y/n?" He asked, looking up from the book.

"Y-Yes."

"You believe I'll keep you safe?"

"Yes, I do."

"And you'd tell me if you were uncomfortable, yes?"

"Of course."

Edward looked back down at the book, once again pretending to read it. He was such an actor. It was almost sinful how easily he could hide his lust and vulgarity.

"So, if I shoved your face into your bed with my hand wrapped around your neck, would you like that? Would you like it if I made you choke and gasp for air?" He hummed.

"Fuck...y-yes..."

"Do you want me to pull your hair and skull fuck you until you're crying on my dick? I bet your gags sound so vulgar and erotic." He asked nonchalantly.

"E-Edward, please..."

He held up the book and slumped into the chair. Edward looked like this was the most boring conversation he had ever had in his life. His eyes lazily ran over the words in the book, y/n was half convinced he was actually reading it while he spoke those filthy words to her.

"I bet you'd like to get slapped too. Not too hard, of course. I wouldn't want to bruise that pretty little face. But, firm enough the make sure you don't step out of line. You seem like you love to be put in your place." He yawned.

"E-Edward, I don't know if I can handle this anymore..."

"That's too bad, you wanted to hear all of this, right? Now you need to sit and listen."

"F-Fuck..."

"You're filthy, rabbit. Letting a criminal and a murderer make your pussy wet."

"I-I know."

"That's good that you know. You're self-aware about how dirty you are. You must want dick terribly bad if you've resorted to someone like me."

"N-No, I l-love you!"

"Hmm, that's right. That doesn't make it any better though, rabbit. In fact, it makes it worse. Not only do you want to get dicked down by me, but you love me. For shame."

"B-But..."

"Oh, don't worry sweetheart. I'm not angry with you. I think it's lovely that you feel that way towards me, I feel the same to you. But, we better make sure no one else knows about this. Hm?"

"Mhm!"

Edward placed the book down, looking at y/n.

"Mmm, I wish I could just fuck the soul out of you. I want to make you writhe and squirm. I just know you'd feel so good around my dick."

She moaned a little louder, biting down on her tongue. Edward chuckled, leaning against the metal ledge again.

"You, rabbit, are going to scream my name." He smiled.

"Th-that's big talk f-from someone in A-Arkham." She stuttered.

Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Are you getting smart with me?"

"N-No...I was j-just..."

"No. I know what you were doing and I'm not amused. You don't think I'll find my way out of here? I will. And when I do, I'm coming for you."

Y/n blushed.

"When I get out of here, I'll be sure to rearrange those pathetic guts of yours. I'm all bark and bite."

"You can't even touch me, Edward. It sounds like a bunch of talk to me..." She huffed, getting annoyed with his cocky behavior.

"You want me to break the glass and fuck you right here? I could care less about being watched but I sincerely doubt you want the guards to see you get fucked stupid by me. Don't play with me." He spat.

"I'm n-not trying to play with you, daddy..." Y/n mumbled softly, looking down at her hands.

"Yes you are. You're mocking me and yet you sit before me, wet, pathetic, and needy. Isn't that right, rabbit?"

She nodded.

"You want me to protect you, hold you, love you, yes?" He smirked.

"Y-Yes..."

"My, my, you have terrible daddy issues, don't you? Hm. But, if you want that so bad, then why are you playing with me? Mocking me? Do you think I appreciate that? Do you think it makes me proud?" He scolded.

"No I don't, daddy." Y/n sniffled.

"Mhm, it was so rude of you to talk to me like that. Do you want to hurt daddy's feelings?" He frowned.

He was such a serpent. Oh, but he was so lovely, too. Y/n couldn't help it. It was as if she bit the apple from the tree of good and evil. Except, the serpent held the apple in his mouth after, taunting her as she begged for more. Edward was waving what she wanted in her face, just out of her reach. And he knew it. He was so sick that it was hypnotic. So dangerous yet so kind looking, a wolf in sheep's clothing. Y/n was getting too close to him, but she didn't care if she got bit.

"N-No! I don't want to!" She whined.

"Then what do we say when we hurt someone's feelings?" He hummed, cupping a hand over his ear.

Y/n swallowed a lump in her throat, practically choking on her desire. She placed her hands on the ledge, bottom lip quivering as she looked at Edward. He felt his heart skip a beat as he saw slight tears prick in her eyes. She looked so pretty when she cried, as demented as that sounded. A single tear trickled down her cheek before she wiped it away with her finger.

"M' sorry, daddy..." Y/n sighed.

"Oh, say it again, rabbit." Edward grinned.

She looked at him, blushing heavily. He raised and eyebrow, giving a sleazy smile. Y/n looked at the floor, feeling slightly humiliated. Why? She truly did not know. Maybe it was the way he was talking to her. He was so good at making her feel small.

"I-I'm sorry, daddy." She mumbled.

"An apology has never sounded so sweet..." He hummed.

Y/n figeted with her hands.

"You're just lucky I'm not able to get closer to you, rabbit. You'd be giving me more than just an apology." Edward stated flatly.

She whined, trying to picture what he was hinting at in her head. But, when she did that, she felt herself getting more turned on. That was the last thing she needed.

"I'd give you something too, but I don't know if you'd be able to handle it..." He laughed softly.

Oh, he was so demented. But, it was so hot to her. Y/n should not be so worked up over a murderer talking pure smut to her. Yet, she was. Her core ached and throbbed, pleading for her fingers, Edward's fingers, his dick, mouth, anything. She needed to be touched so bad. It was driving her crazy. She squeezed her thighs together, doing her best not to rub them together.

"That's it, back to being timid. You know you aren't the one in control here, y/n. I may be in chains in this hellhole, but don't think for one second that it makes me weak. I haven't touched you and yet I have you soaking wet, desperate to pleasure yourself while 2 cameras are pointed at you. I have you whimpering, whining, moaning, and begging for something that I can't even give you. Does that sound like someone with no power over you? No hold over you?"

"No, Edward. I-It doesn't."

"Exactly. And you love it."

She nodded and whined.

"I've got you eating out of the palm of my hand, y/n. Just like a rabbit. I wonder, if I give you a carrot, will you jump for me?" He snickered.

"I'm not a pet!" She spat.

"Then why are you so obedient to me? Why are you so dependent on me?" Edward asked, shrugging his shoulders.

"I-..."

He leaned forward, propping his elbows up. Looking at y/n, he spoke in a low tone.

"Admit it, I own you! My name is practically branded on your chest. If only...no, I don't want to scar that pretty skin of yours. But, maybe, I could just mark you...yes. Would you like that? My teeth digging into your neck? I swear I'll try to be gentle, but I'm afraid you might taste too good to be able to restrain myself...I bet your flesh and blood tastes like sugar..."

Y/n was shocked, completely thrown off by his sadistic words. Yes, she was trembling in fear. It was so disturbing to hear him talk about how he wanted to mark her, break the skin on her neck. But, yet again, y/n found herself drawn to him. It was sick, twisted, and vile. And her pussy throbbed.

"I-, b-but it'll hurt..." She whimpered.

"Well, I said I'd do my best to be gentle. All you have to do is tell me to stop! Though I so badly want to...rip you apart...I would never want to make you upset or uncomfortable, sweet rabbit." He smiled sadistically.

Y/n panted, feeling arousal seep onto her inner thighs. She felt so dirty...

"I already know the second you get home, you're going to play with yourself while thinking about me. Thinking about the things I could do to you. Thinking about how I could just..."

Edward banged his fists subtly on the table, maintaining a consistent rhythm. He kept eye contact the whole time, lips curling up into a sickly smile. He was a cocky little shit. He knew exactly what he was doing to her and he thrived in the actions he did. The sound of his fists banging rang in her ears and made her throb. Edward sped up the pace, watching as y/n's eyes closed, no doubt imagining the feeling and how it would look. Abruptly, he stopped, practically edging her in a way.

"...destroy you. Break you. Please you. Torture you." He smirked.

"E-Edward, you're a dick! You're tormenting me!" She cried softly.

"Yes I am, took you fucking long enough. I thought you were smart?" He mocked.

She shuddered, his cold gaze freezing her blood.

"It's a game to me, y/n. Yes, I love you, but I love making you crave me too. And you make it so easy..."

A knock on the glass startled y/n, making her turn around. It was most likely Bruce telling her that the visit was going on too long. She sighed, looking back to Edward. Y/n was upset, not wanting to leave, despite how torturous he was being to her. He too looked upset, his plaything was about to leave. His plaything. His. He'd have to make the last minute count. He lured the prey into security, and it was genuine security. But now, it was time for the mind games. It was time for him to strike fear and paranoia into her heart. He wanted to be in her mind for a long time to come.

"You said you loved how I intimidated and scared you in your dream, yes?" He asked.

"Yeah?"

"You'll never know when I get out of Arkham. Not until it hits the newspapers."

Y/n looked at him, unsure of what he was getting at.

"I wonder how long you'll be paranoid? How many times will you watch a dark corner, wondering if I'll walk out of it? How many times will you sleep with one eye open? How many times will you watch behind your back as you walk down the streets? I am still a criminal, after all." He smirked devilishly.

Y/n's eyes widened, feeling her skin turn to ice. It was then that she realized he truly was sick. But, why did she still love him? Oh, how conflicting a forbidden love must be. To want someone that should not be wanted. To seek approval from someone one should never seek approval from. His pupils looked dilated, staring deep into her soul. She felt exposed and violated just from his gaze. And she loved it...

"Lord, what fools these mortals be!" He shouted.

She shivered, standing up slowly from the chair. Edward picked up the book again, flipping to a certain page. He had memorized the entire book, as he had already read his own copy he bought at the bookstore. But, being Edward, he wanted to be theatric as he read quotes. He looked at y/n in the eyes, standing up abruptly, no doubt startling the guard, Bruce, and y/n herself. He placed his hands against the glass, a breathy laugh leaving his lips.

"I'll follow thee and make a heaven of hell..." He trailed.

Her pussy throbbed once again, thinking back to when they were in the bookstore. She had told Edward that she would never accept anyone's love unless they confessed or expressed it through Shakespeare. And, he was doing exactly that, Although, he was doing it in Edward fashion. Ominous, eerie, and disturbing.

"...to die upon the hand I love so well." She finished.

The door opened up and Bruce came in, grabbing y/n by the hand. Edward laughed hysterically, pacing back and forth behind the glass. His eyes were crazed behind his glasses as he kept his gaze on y/n the entire time. Y/n could tell that he was being dramatic, just wanting to get a rise out of everyone.

"Thus I die. Thus, thus, thus. Now I am dead, now I am fled, my soul is in the sky. Tongue, lose thy light. Moon take thy flight..." He paused, slowly walking back to the glass.

"...Now die, die, die, die!" He cackled.

He watched as Bruce dragged y/n out of the room. She looked back at him, still worked up from their 'discussion'. Edward blew a kiss to her, further making the scene more demented. Y/n attempted to reach up and grab it, but wanted to be discreet, so instead she smiled at him. It was odd though, as she was still terrified of his tangent that he went on. The sight of him laughing and quoting Shakespeare was not something she thought she would ever be scared of, but it was. But before she left, she heard him say one last thing. It sent chills down her spine.

"Run rabbit, run! For I linger in the shadows and you will never know when I might pounce..."

~

#writers #fanfic writer #writers of tumblr #fanfic #the riddler #paul dano #dc universe #edward nashton #paul dano riddler #danonation #dano riddler #batman 2022 #danocel #danonator

[heartorbit]

revstar emu save me

#please watch revue starlight #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #proseka #Im so mad i wrote 8 million tags stream of consciousness style and then aposted this to the weong account #im not rewriting all that. you get NOTHING. #actually i will say again i have no idea why this kind of blee up on twit please WATCH TEVUE STAKRIGHTBTNGL #i KNOW 4 thiusand of you did not watch it Watch revue starlight Do not speak of yuri unless you partske in the revue #sorry. anyways #the jist of it was ahh the assignments -> making cosplay -> might post it here if i can take a bice photo for once in my life #because im proud of it. as mortifying as it is. #my best friend is cosplaying an im the clown Two lesbians walk into the metro convention centre(is that where toronto comicon is????) #Oh right i was thinking of making little drswings of pjsk charas or at least exs and printing them out in bulk on a dheet of paper #and coloring them in w markers and giving them to people at the pjsk meetup or vendors i get merch from.. #i thought itd be fun. Also i swear to god i have a sheet of like MAGNET paper somewhere i want to make people emu magnets #Ok i fucking for real have to go to sleep i have to get up for class in 5 hours. wuit your college join my emo(daily affirmations)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

saw @chez-cinnamon's absolutely BANGER butterfly!Howdy design and couldn't resist! two fluffy flutterbyes <3 solidarity

#still unsure of Why this was the only pose that came to mind but! who am i to deny the brain what it wants #i also have no idea what it is about butterflies and mullets + extra fluff #it just feels Right. #oh also if you haven't checked out chez-cinnamon's Real World au uhhhh Go Do That!!! #its fun! its funky! its fresh! its got a lot of great art! its got a Comic! #emphasis on a Lot Of Great Art! #i will admit im emotionally invested in the plot. its reeled me in. im Fascinated by it #also(x2) i Cannot get over how swagtastic that butterfly howdy design is #like!!! look at it!!! the colors the patterns the WINGS agh the wings <3<3<3 #truly a unique and creative design that im totally not jealous of ahaha what- #kidding im Kidding. or am i... i am i am #scribble garnish #yassified howdy <3 #welcome home #alrighty its officially 2 am i needed to be asleep uhhhhh three hours ago #gonna queue this up and conk out. while lovingly thinking of chez-cinnamon's butterfly howdy my fucking GOD #cant get over how Gorgeous he is #the facial patterns.... the colors.... immaculate #top tier design i am Taking Notes #ok ok sleeping now. Sleeping. snz snork mimi and all that. etc

[arthur-r]

hello new self portrait just dropped which means this is officially what i look like now

#i have glasses now!!!! i’m not very good at drawing them but i sure have them on my face at all times shdhdf #and i recently started growing out my hair!!!! my distinctive bowl cut had a good run but i’m officially moving forward #i’ve also started exaggerating my big droopy sad eyelashes a LOT in pictures lately it’s part of my core identity now or something #(that’s not true shdhdf but i think my face knew about my puppydog destiny long ago and gave me puppydog eyes) #anyway i just haven’t drew anything in forever like i think i’ve drew four things that weren’t JUST notebook doodling. all this school year #(and one of those was vent art on paper and the other one was coloring with my little sister. so i’ve drew two things on ibispaint at all) #anyway i think my glasses suit me really good and i’m also really excited i can see the world really good now #i still have some vision problems from POTS that aren’t fixed but like. i can see detail in brick walls now and i’m obsessed #house fucker behavior i’m so sorry shdhdhdff (THIS IS A JOKE AND LIE. I DONT FUCK HOUSES) #(and i’m apparently a house m.d. kinnie so i wouldn’t fuck him EITHER cause we’re the same person i could never) #ANYWAYS i can see well finally and that’s good. and in conclusion i’m real tired and should go to bed #i took my meds at 9:30 then started drawing at 10 finished at 11:30 #and now it’s midnight and i’m long overdue to be asleep already. so goodnight world!!!! #i have a sleepover tomorrow night which is very exciting. and also work and homework as usual shdhdf #but in the meantime i get to sleep. for up to 12 hours!!!! here’s hoping #ok anyway!!!! goodnight!!!! #P.S. text or call if you need anything!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later (probably)

[gayspock]

i havent been to the gym since i moved out & i wanna get active again but fr -_- i feel like everything is too much faff, too expensive or something that will bore me to tearssssss

#egg.txt #i was like ok before i go sign up to a new place i'll do the chloe ting workouts just to get a routine back in #my god . i have never wanted to sob more from just being so understimulated in my life #but theyre all the SAAAAAME. IM GOING TOKILLMYSELFFFFF. #and the stupid music makes me want to put knives in my fucking ears #i'd gym again but i just couldnt keep waking up at 5am i wasnt getting sleep & half the time i wasnt even able to get a good work out in #like it would be 30mins max of actual exercise and then like #+ so much more time just getting there and it was wrecking everything else in my schedule #it sounds so dumb but even shit like having to drop my bagg off & pick it up every day meant i had to get later buses (& more) #and it would mean just losing hours in total at that point. for what. for a 30 min workout. when i wasnt making any progress with anyway bc #i was getting no sleep? 😭 #i wanted ot try running outside again but ugh not to be a baby but people have been harassing me in the street so much more again and i jus #cant fucking do it broooo #and im too shy for most classes . the other stuff is crazy expensive . im going to start gnawing on something for real #i was thinking abt bouldering but it looks so crazy fucking expensive #its rlly a shame bc i did rlly start to get into running too. i could get a treadmill but idek where to put it rn and it feels crazy #to get one when i dont even have a couch... ehrm

[aroacehanzawa]

sick and tired of people being judgmental of my natural biological sleeping and waking rhythm that i have minimal control over. like i have had it to my limit i have had ENOUGH

#i don't think my schedule is 'fucked' i think what's fucked is a society that does not accommodate for differences and expects everyone #to conform to a rigid schedule at the expense of their wellbeing and which causes extreme stress and chronic sleep deprivation to uphold #i'm gonna cry for real #also i know my best friend meant this lightheartedly so it's nothing to confront her about i just need to rant about it and move on. #because yeah my sleep schedule probably appears messed up to someone who is used to waking up no later than 9 #and is from a family of people who wake up at 'normal' hours #compared to my family who has no problems with when i wake up as long as i get enough sleep. and wake up on time for resposibilities ofc #what upsets me is the wider context of it and how people in general are so unwilling to be understanding #and assume that going to sleep late and waking up late is some kind of laziness or irresponsibility :/ #ok not crying anymore #like i'm pretty sure i have some kind of delayed sleep phase syndrome because even if i try to maintain a regular bedtime #i physically will not be able to fall asleep at progressively later times #until i have to forcibly reset it by pulling an all-nighter. and the cycle continues

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.

#tbd #☉ #lemme start by prefacing this with I KNOW there's no real normal way to be human #ok i get that #but fucking HELL I wish i was normal #i wish my health was normal for my age #i wish i wasn't fucking. neurodivergent #im fine with being queer but ffs why am i in between normal queer and accepted Aroace-ness #why am i abnormal in that regard too #i wish I didn't alienate people i wish i didn't have to explain why im extra quiet and moody and minutes from a meltdown #i wish my hands and feet wouldn't swell up and hurt and burn and I wish i could take a fucking shower without feeling dread #because i had the water temp set to hot and now im dizzy and my heart is racing and im overheating -- alternatively I wish #i didn't feel so self conscious because i DONT shower every day or even every other day like i dont like when my hair goes limp either! #and i use deodorant everyday and wipe off when i can but i have fuckin Let's Sweat Buckets For No Reason Disorder so i always look and feel #like a drowned rat. im tired of being tired but not being able to sleep. im tired of not being able to explain that yes its really not you #its me. me wanting to be alone has nothing to do with you ok its my brain deciding to fuckin shut down because everything is too much rn #& idk how to tell you that im at my wits end but if you treat me with kidd gloves i WILL go off like a fuckin bomb. just treat me NORMAL ffs #just treat me normal 😭 i just want to be normal. i want to be able to sit down and just do my application stuff instead of #staring at a blank document for weeks and then wanting to throw things as the deadline approaches ( #its due friday and i have absolutely nothing written lmao) and idk if its executive dysfunction or anxiety or my tendancey to self sabotage #but either way im so fuckin fucked. im NOT in the headspace rn for writing a graduate school application letter. #trying hard not to cry rn bcs my friend and her parents are sleeping already bcs they have a 9-5 sleeping schedule to fit their 9-5 jobs #like i dont even have a normal sleeping schedule lmao mine's 2-10. i just don't understand why im so broken or whatever. not normal. #& i feel bad for bitching about it all bcs objectively i have a pretty decent life. i have a home i have food i have a family that loves me #im just back to feeling like im too much and also not enough and im so fuckin lonely. im tired of feeling lonely. and i think #ive got a platonic crush or two. or something. and idk how to handle that anymore. if i ever did. #idk idk i feel like im back to looking at the world and passersby through frosted glass again.

[vampyrsm]

if katsuki wont sing with me, then i know eijirou has my back

#— alekugo #i need one for me and ei #— aleshima #it'll do #anyway #me n ei have an entire routine for the real slim shady #and it drives kats up the fucking wall #but in a loving way #he only acts like he hates it because we try to get him to join in #but he has the biggest fucking dumb smile on his face #ok im going to sleep

[ruffgem]

I hate school so fucking much lol and I always just thought I was taking too many credits but this semester I finally took a normal amount of credits and it doesn’t matter. It’s not the amount of classes, it’s just having any classes at all. I feel like there was definitely a time where I could handle it but not anymore lmfao… this place was crazy. Sent me into my first real and scary panic attack, broke me out in stress hives, ruined my sleep, turned me into a mega hater…. smh. I know it could be a million times worse so I feel bad for complaining but it was not cool. All I can hope for is that my degree and good grades that I damn near died trying to get for literally no reason do me some good in real society tho I doubt it lmao

#like why did I try so hard lmfao…… I don’t need a 4.0 I’m not going to grad school I’d rather kms #I don’t know. I didn’t realize I was trying that hard I just thought that’s how hard I was supposed to try #IDK!!!! #I have never been good at knowing how much effort to put into things my entire life #I give everything 110 percent when it feels like I’m giving it like. Idk. 80 percent #everyone calls me a perfectionist and IM NOT TRYING TO BE LOL I don’t know how to gauge what I can or can’t be dismissive of!!! #it’s hard for me to discuss this problem I have without it sounding like I’m being like ‘omg I’m so smart that I do everything perfect by #accident’ #THATS NOT WHAT I MEEEEAAAN #whatever #some people’s mental health issues make their grades tank but I have never had below an A- in my life and if u ask me that is also #indicative of an issue like LOL. if your child is like that then get them help for fucking real #ugh I love my mom and it’s not her fault but when I was a kid I was literally bawling and having stress headaches and canker sores DAILY #after school and being unable to sleep because I was so afraid of going the next day #and she was just like. ‘I was like that too :) it’s normal. you’re just a perfectionist’ #ACTUALLY IM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND FOR NO REASON but okay #ok sorry let me just shout out some gratitude tho to the handful of teachers I had who were epic and had swag #I loved them #they didn’t make up for the rest of this bullshit though LOL

[silverislander]

fully intended and foreseen consequence of coping better with my anxiety is that this blog will at some point inevitably become More Cringe and that point is SO close on the horizon. if you get mad at me for posting things i like on my blog that is for me you clearly have more issues than i do for worrying abt that possibility for hours on end

#its tumblr were all cringe here. fucking grow up or leave genuinely #also i literally tag everything im into + trigger tags too. block tags or just unfollow me theres no hard feelings i prommy #anyway. ive been falling back into creepypasta which ive mentioned before i was super into as a teen! fun stuff #i love that the fandom is still alive and doing fun new stuff :') theres such good art out there!! and character interpretations!!!! #and ive also gotten really into league lore over the past few months actually. the arcane fixation has morphed #basically it went 'this character looks cool whats their deal. whats this region like. oh another neat character lets look into that' #and then suddenly i know too much™️ bc hyperfixations for me are about gathering information and stories like a raccoon #i have FEELINGS about it. post probably incoming soon abt that #and BRIAR!! shes a little gremlin i kind of love her already #levi.txt #will i delete this in the morning? lets see #but for real tho. im doing really good lately. things arent perfect but i feel like a person for once #i can talk to strangers without acting like a trapped prey animal! it turns out im fucking funny actually! people like my jokes #im SLEEPING again. regularly. that was an issue for nearly a year and im doing ok again (not perfect but hey! ~8hrs!!) #i can just. sit around in public now and not feel like im on a hidden camera show where everyone is judging the way i breathe #slowly switching from self deprecation 'i want to die' jokes to 'im literally gods favourite prince and the hottest bitch alive' #i still get really nervous but it doesnt feel like a personal flaw and it doesnt feel insurmountable anymore #so yeah naturally thats going to come with (hopefully) a lot less shame around things that i like #just asking kindly that people are normal abt it. this is me thriving i guess

[neondiamond]

.

#here is a non-exhaustive list of things i did/that happened today: #woke up at 4:30 a.m. because apparently noodle likes it when im sleep deprived #was fucking slammed with work all day #i locked noodle into the bathroom twice and another time in the pantry #not on purpose he just like to follow me everywhere and sometimes i don’t realize #found out the bottom corner of my fridge door is really fucking sharp #by slicing the top of my damn foot on it after opening it #ouch #had to go buy bandaids bc i’m not a real adult yet and didn’t have any #then taped a towel to that corner as a temporary anti-foot slicing solution lol #realized after picking up noodle earlier that he’s getting real heavy already and that i probably won’t be able to pick him up much longer #… then cried about that lol #i’ve only had small dogs before this has never happened to me and I WAS NOT READY YET OK 😅 #almost cut myself again while chopping a sweet potato #i always forget how hard they are #and texted my mom about 4 times to ask cooking questions bc again…clearly not a real adult lol #and it’s only 6 pm… room for more! 😂

[the-pigeon]

sometimes you just gotta sit down and realise that you kinda suck. and then you gotta learn to deal with that

#pigeon talks #i will not vent on main i will not vent on main i will not vent on main i will not vent on main #i'll write fucking poetry about it tomorrow i guess idk #or maybe i should just take my stupid meds that are meant to make me an okay person #fuuuck i haven't had time to go get more so i've just been. sad. snd angry. and miserable for a while #so much for not venting on main lmaooo #look. i've just been. weird lately. cause i've realised things about me. that. suck #basically i just find more and more Symptoms of autism and then hate myself over it which sucks because i love being autistic but fuck dude #it's just weird idk #i've also been thinking i have. like npd or smthn. but i cant tell if im just an arrogant unempethtic asshole because of. autism or the npd #they really don't make this shit easy do they #whatever. i should go to sleep #i'll prolly delete this in the morning when i wake up and realise im. being dramatic #im just. upset at myself for sucking. and i wanna blame someone else but i dont wanna be an arrogant unempathetic asshole #i can't blame other people cause its not their fault but i dont wanna blame myself because. thats Bad #i neee my meds man fuuuuuuck #okay good night for real this time #sorry i know this isnt the quality content you followed the the-pigeon blog for. i'll do better tmrw ok i pinky prommy

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ahaha we r playing it fast and fucking loose out here in the middle of fucking nowhere #like for real. dangerous fucking day. why? bc being around ppl stresses me out so fucking much i cant function #we've done 16hrs of driving in the last 3 days and i have not eaten much bc i get so stressed in restaurants #and so many things either bother my braib or my stomach and nothing tastes good and i csnt advocate for myself and if someone else tries to #advocate for me i get freaked out and paranoid abt being watched #so yeah. low on food and im so neurotic that i cant pee in public restrooms. which is not good so i dont drink much which is double not #good. which is to say that i got up todsy at 6am in an undernourished condition and then did fucking like 8hrs of field work in #the fucking desert. real real bad move. do not fucking do that. my pee looks so bad. god if i dont have a panic attack or burst into tears #by the end of the week it'll b a miracle. im already going all weird. i have v little bandwidth to pretend to b human then i do field work #and it all goes out the window bc im focused and trying to get things done asap and if things arent efficient i start to freak out. so ppl #will try to joke or talk to me and i just stare at them for a beat too long bc my brain is lagging and its all awkward. just like dont talk #to me and let me get this over with. i basically did lunges for like 5hrs my legs r gonna hurt so bad and we have 4 more days. like it was #bad today. like the undergrad with us also thought so. i feel so bad 4 him but hes a good sport. i dont kno whats gonna happen the rest of #the week. i got back todsy and wandered around bc there r like 3 rooms in this field house and i csnt relax if someone else is in the room #i went outside and ate a jelly sandwich sitting on the ground like a weirdo. like im pretty sure im noticeably being weird bc i do try to b #slightly charismatic normally but rn im stripped to my base elements like. oh ur talking to me? ok u arent saying anything interesting so #im moving on. im not gonna speak unless i absolutely have to and im gonna find a corner to hide away in. pls do not contact #hopefully im so stressed ill skip my period bc i do not wanna deal with that on top of everything. and the fact that im wide fucking awake #at like 11.30 after the day ive had is not looking like a good sign on that front. its a sign if fucking crazy. im laying #here on this bunkbed in a too warm room. no pillow bc im a freak and i dont wanna sleep bc im not tried and i cant sleep around other ppl #ugh so many bad vibes. do not do what i did. pls. that was real dangerous. #god i think that was at least a 13 or 14hr day. fuck that. i don't even care abt this project and im worried that's showing #not to mention the bad thing i did like a month back when i was losing my mind has caught up to me. its fine. awkwardly annoying but fine #hhhh actions have consequences ☹️ #tw food #unrelated

[foxgloveinspace]

Its my fanfic, and Sleep can look sorta like Chaos Hades Game if I want him too.

#very much so #sleep token fic for blacklist #listen. Chaos is so hot....... ok.... and like. Maybe just maybe. Sleep should look a little like that. #Also I have to have Something to picture cause Vessel is gonna get dicked down by Sleep in this fic and I need something other then #the horror monster we all know he is. like he'll look like that sometimes. most of the time. but also he really loves vessel is like #'hey. so like. I think if I fucked you when I look like this you'll go insane. cause of my powers' and then boom. humanoid. #anyways. I am tired. And writing fic cause my brain writes fic best like this. #why? I think it has to do with how I don't know how to stop typing when I'm tired #as evident by how LONG these tags are. I should be working on fic now oof #I haven't even gotten that far cause I am second guessing Vessel's characterization I have going on but I think everyone seems to just make #it up right?? Cause we really Don't know. I am making him a bit eager to please. and introverted. and powerful. and I'm making this up. #ok for real done with tags now. Also I'mma delete this in a couple hours when I remember to

[arthur-r]

as usual i am up late into the night planning my future when i should be: getting a good nights sleep so that i even have a future!!

#i have work in seven and a half hours. so i should really be getting to bed #BUT i officially made my final definitive degree plan!!!! i mean not the actual classes but all the requirements i have to meet and how!! #(in order to earn: history and information science double major. with certificates in material culture and classics) #and i’m genuinely excited for every single class i have to take except for human-computer interaction #just cause i know it’s gonna get overly technical in ways that won’t quite apply to my future #anyway every single other thing i’m gonna do is very cool and exciting. so everything is good really #but i should be sleeping. and i’m not. as usual 🤧 #idk wish me luck!!!! i’m so hyped about my degree plan though #i’ll go into more detail another time. i’m very excited #ANYWAY goodnight!!!! can’t be so busy planning my future in library science that i DONT GO TO MY SHELVING JOB #kind of important to actually go to work for the library that employs me…. #and then i might go see a first-printing roget’s thesaurus!!!! or i’ll sleep. we’ll see #followed by lunch with GUY WHO IS THE WORST KILL HIM WITH HAMMERS #(there is nothing really wrong with me he just keeps kind of being mean to me and also expecting me to fall in love with him. but like #extremely passively and not manipulatively it’s just like. hey buddy you’re doing this friendship wrong….) #anyway then i have a class and after that i have an hour to rest. and then a phone call and then a lot of homework #(ten page paper draft due in a week and a half!! so it’s time to start writing the actual body of it) #and then i sleep for a LONG time and then work again on saturday. and then sleepover with somebody i have a crush on?? #and then be normal all day on sunday and do a little more paper writing. and programming homework. and whatever else #and then keep up with the slog for three weeks!!!! and all of a sudden it’s summer!!!! #projects left this year: material culture paper (entirely unstarted. but may research the thesaurus and just win!!!!) #history project (draft due the monday after next and real paper due a week after classes end) #one more programming assignment where i adapt my recipe doubler project (probably. it’s getting stupid at this point but it’s what i got!!) #and a programming test in two weeks and then the final a week after that. then no more programming #and then i just have my weekly latin tests and a latin final on may 5th. and then EVERYTHING IS DONE #ok i got this. sorry for walking through my schedule in the tags it’s how i remember what’s real #can’t believe my fucking partner just kind of walked out on me there hello???? like. we should be powering through finals together #but i’m genuinely better off without him so i guess it’s just whatever. trash took itself out or something?? #anyway. i’m so regular. and i have work in the morning. and i’m going to sleep #thank you world. goodnight