#Road trips with Joel and tommy what could go wrong? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seventeenpins · 3 months

Text

a slight miscalculation - pt. i

pairing: Joel x F!Reader

word count: 8.3k

summary: Sarah is off to college, and Joel is about to be living in an empty nest. They road trip out together, and as she spends her first night in her new apartment, he's staying in a nearby hotel. Letting go of his inhibitions for the first time in a long time, he tumbles into a one night stand that becomes very complicated, very quickly.

content/warnings: smut, age gap, mycologist!reader, dick sucking, implied pussy eating, fingering, no outbreak au, reader likes to hike, reader also infodumps, joel miller has a big cock, he also has anxiety, reader has anxiety too, and a cat, reader is in early 20s--exact age not established, one (1) use of daddy, alcohol and weed consumption, joel is a diligent condom wearer, set in present day, discussion of girl scout cookies, joel is sweet and soft and hasn't been eviscerated by the death of his daughter

a/n: I'm intending this to be about five parts. This may change, but right now it's looking like five. I've been struggling to write for a while, unable to focus, but I think I'm back at it? as always, your feedback is hugely appreciated, and i'm kissing all likers and commenters and rebloggers deeply and with tongue 🩷

check out pt. ii

For the first time in nineteen years, Joel is completely adrift. Sarah's starting college in just two months.

It's the kind of realization that hits him like a bucket of ice water, a sudden shock and then an unpleasant trickling of anxiety wrapping about him in nasty tendrils. And then he feels guilty, because he's so, so happy for Sarah because he knows that she's thrilled, but fuck she's gonna be two time zones away and now what's Joel meant to do on Thursday movie nights when he's here without her?

It's terrifying, and it's new. And it's not that he's new to anxiety. He's usually anxious, and he has the Sertraline on his bedside stand to prove it. But if his general anxiety baseline usually hovered around a 6.4, where he was at now far surpassed a 10. It felt exponential, and totally exhausting.

When he voices his fears to Tommy, to Joel's horror, Tommy just doubles over in laughter.

"Jesus, Joel," he wheezes, wiping fake tears from his eyes in exaggerated movements, "You looked so serious I thought you were gonna say you'd killed someone."

Joel scowls. "The fuck you laughing for?"

"She's going to college, it's not like she's dying!"

"How'm I gonna be there for her? What if she needs me? What if-"

"Joel-," Tommy pats him gently on the shoulder, "She can always call you, and you can always call her. And we both know she's got a good head on 'er shoulders."

Joel snorts in concession. "Yeah, yeah. Better than yours and mine put together, and then some."

"Exactly." Tommy agrees, "And if there's ever anything that really goes wrong, you got me. We can drive out together and make sure she's okay."

Joel nods and feels the tiniest bit of tension leave him. One step at a time.

Just over nineteen years ago he found out he was about to be a dad. Suddenly, he had a purpose. Having a kid at twenty-two wasn't something he'd ever intended, but somehow he knew he loved his baby girl from the moment he knew she was a possibility. He spent a solid seven months running around, hustling, doing everything he could to get the very best for his kid. He'd take on doubles, working himself to the bone to make sure they had the best crib, and the best stroller, too. He was thrilled and terrified and so, so green.

Now, his heart feels so big he doesn't know how to handle it. His baby girl is an honest-to-god adult, moving out and going to college, and he has no idea what he's gonna do with his time now.

He has work, of course. But beyond that? He's really gotta to widen his circle, he realises, because who's he gonna hang out with? His brother?

He'd only just turned forty-one and had absolutely not come to terms with an empty nest--the few friends from high school he'd kept in touch with were so much further behind than him. The ones that had kids had them later in their twenties and thirties, and now they're raising middle schoolers while Joel's kid is a real fucking person, leaving home and everything. All the scrapping and saving he'd been doing since before Sarah was born–for his little girl to be able to follow any dream she chose–it was finally paying off. The precocious young woman she is, she graduated early and spent nearly a year working retail to save up some cash. She'd applied to colleges all across the country, and a few international ones, too. Joel had been crossing his fingers for months, hoping she'd choose something near Austin, but cheered with her all the same when she got her acceptance letter from Oregon State University. The previous summer, just before she'd started her applications, she and Joel and Tommy spent a miserable, wonderful week hiking round the Pacific Northwest. She fell in love with it, and the university offered a few of the majors she wanted to consider.

Joel didn't know what he'd do with his baby girl so far away, his life, his reason, but he sure as hell wasn't gonna tell her that. He will not clip her wings. His baby's gonna change the world and he's not gonna hold her back. He is, though, gonna require regular phone calls and check-ins and god they grow up so fast.

"Y'all should road trip out there," Tommy suggests one night over the dinner table.

Joel knew the conversation of how Sarah would get to the West Coast would come up, and it oughta be sooner rather than later. He was half afraid that she wanted to head out on her own, that she didn't need her dad anymore. Worried she would say she wanted to get a plane ticket, or take the Amtrak all the way to Corvallis. But he knows he needs to loosen his grip a little, so he braces himself when he turns to her.

"What'dya think, Sarah? You wanna be stuck in a car with your old man for a cross-country trip?"

Sarah rolls her eyes, but her face breaks into a grin. "Can we, Dad?"

This was too good to be true, he knew, but he wasn't gonna give up one last opportunity to spend some time with his girl till winter break.

"Course, baby," he tells her, and that flicker of anxiety quells just the tiniest bit.

The next few weeks fly by, and the knot of anxiety in Joel's chest feels like it's consuming him from the inside out. He's taken some time off, more than Sarah or Tommy can remember, but he's constantly trying to suggest ideas for activities to Sarah. For the most part, she's a good sport, understanding how much it means to her dad. She took pity on him, and let him drag her to places that ideally she would've gone to when she was little, but she humored him and he appreciated her dedication. He did his best to step back when she was heading out to spend time with friends--her time here was limited, after all, and she was always a social butterfly.

There are five weeks till classes start, four weeks, three, two, and in the blink of an eye, they're loading up the truck with all of Sarah's things, and Tommy is hugging Sarah goodbye, teary eyed. He gives Joel a hug, too. Joel would never admit it, but fuck he had really needed that hug.

They would take the scenic route. Make a memorable trip of it. Joel would make sure she settles in safe and sound, and then he'd head home.

6am Sunday.

You wake with a start. It's just over a week before term starts and your entire body aches. Fuck, you think to yourself, definitely overdid it with that last hike.

(The hiking part wasn't itself a problem, but one of the trails had washed out. You thought you'd found your way, but the "easy" three and a half mile hike took about five hours, leaving your calves bruised and your heels blistered.)

You roll over in your hotel room bed and, at the sound of a slight yelp followed by a gentle thud, realise with a sudden start that you just catapulted your cat off the corner.

"Shit, sorry goblin," you tell Spatula, who glares up at you with disdain as he licks at his paw. You reach down and, despite your inadvertent cat launch, he immediately rubs up against your fingertips and lets you scratch behind his ears.

"I'm sorry, baby," you soothe.

He meows, loudly. Howls, really. You take it as an apology accepted.

You sit up properly and look at your phone calendar. Nothing immediate. You don't need to get keys to your new apartment till tomorrow, nor do you meet your roommates till then–they're both moving in today, and moving is already horrible without having to navigate around the belongings of two other people. No, thanks. You can afford one more night at the hotel, and it'll make everything go that little bit more smoothly tomorrow. Besides, you have a bit of reading you'd like to get through, maybe stock up on non-perishables till you have a full-sized fridge, and get to know the city just a little.

You move gingerly, testing the ache in your muscles as you unfold yourself from the position you've been sat in and pull yourself from the bed. It hurts, but not something that won't be fixed with a little movement.

A plan forms. First, a walk, to try and loosen up your tight muscles. Then, errands. You have a whole list, with everything categorised by store, but then you enter IKEA and exit fifteen minutes later, only to find that five and a half hours have passed and it's evening now.

How was it that IKEA harnessed such a malicious power. How could anything harness that?

You need a fucking break. And a goddamn drink.

"Hey Dad," Sarah calls from the adjacent bedroom as Joel sweats, hauling another box towards her. The drive has been good, but it has been long. His legs ache. His back aches. There are parts of him that he didn't know existed that now ache.

"Yeah?" he calls back.

"Are you sure you're okay with me staying here tonight?"

Joel lets out a breath. He wants to be okay with it. And there's no way his nineteen year old would want to hang out with her dad when she could be spending the very first night in her brand new apartment. But he also wishes she wanted to spend one last night, hanging out in a hotel room with her dad. They could watch shitty movies together. Make the most of the final night before this cataclysmic shift.

But no.

That'd just be him being selfish. He can handle a night by himself. He's gotta handle a whole lotta them soon enough.

"O'course baby," he nods, hoping the smile he's plastered on his face looks totally genuine. "But we're still doin' breakfast in the morning, right?"

She nods, vigorous, and then waves her phone around. "I was looking up places! There's a diner called Tommy's," she laughs, "Wanna try that? 9:30?"

"Let's do it," he smiles, and this one is a little less forced.

"How much more do we have?" Sarah asks, nodding towards the box Joel's still holding.

"Last box," he grunts, "What else can I help with?"

He places the box down and lets out a slight, almost silent whimper. Sarah catches it, though.

"Maybe you should take it easy the rest of the day, Dad," she tells him, "We both know you have old man back."

He rolls his eyes but nods. "Guess you're right," he shrugs, "That my cue to take off?"

Sarah blushes but turns to him sheepishly. "Yeah, I-"

"No need to explain," Joel assures, "I know you must wanna get unpacked and settle in, get to know your roommates an' all."

She jumps up and, almost startling him, wraps her arms around him in a bear hug.

"Love you, dad," she grins, and she squeezes just a little tighter than usual.

He squeezes back, and they both pretend there aren't tears in his eyes.

As you step through the doors of the hotel bar, you decide you like it. The lighting is comfortably low. It's not loud, but it's not quiet, either. Colorful bottles line the shelves, the light of the filament bulbs glinting off the glass in rainbow prisms.

You take a seat at the bar and give a nod of thanks as the bartender passes you a small menu. It's unsurprisingly extortionate, hotel bar and all, but it'll do.

"Old fashioned, please," you tell the bartender, who nods in response. A minute later, he hands you a glass, delivered with a twist of orange and a cherry on top.

With your first sip, you feel your shoulders start to relax and some of the tension loosen from your body. The warmth of the burn envelops you and your stress starts to unravel, leaving only the buzz feeling good.

You order a second, and as the glass is handed to you, a voice to your right catches your attention.

"This seat taken?" a man asks.

You shake your head and offer a quick smile, gesturing towards it, "All yours."

"Much obliged," he nods, and slips into the backless stool next to yours.

The bartender comes over and passes him the same menu, but without looking at it he asks, "Could I get an old fashioned?"

You smile and catch his eye, tipping your glass towards him. "An excellent choice," you praise, "Though if you don't have a sweet tooth, I'd recommend asking Jeff there if he can go easy on the simple syrup."

"Oh yeah?" He asks, and then he leans in conspiratorially. "T'tell you the truth, I do have a bit of a sweet tooth."

You raise an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

Suddenly, he breaks into a grin and it's dazzling.

"Yeah," he laughs, "I've got cookies stashed in secret locations all through my house."

You raise an eyebrow. "If I keep 'em in my pantry, my brother'll find 'em and eat 'em all," he explains, "But ever since my kid was a girl scout, I always get cravings for girl scout cookies, so I buy an armful o'boxes and try and preserve 'em throughout the year, till I can replenish."

"What's your favorite girl scout cookie?"

"Caramel deLites, hands down."

"Oh yeah?"

"Absolutely," he nods.

The bartender, Jeff, sets the man's drink down with a clink. You catch one another's eye and both erupt into a fit of laughter.

You're not even sure what's funny. Maybe it's just been a long day? Maybe the whiskey was getting to you?

Whatever it is, it feels good.

The man takes a sip of his drink and lets out an aaaahh and it's goofy and charming and then he extends his hand.

"Joel," he tells you, "Joel Miller". You shake his hand, introduce yourself, and then take a sip of your own drink.

"So, tell me about yourself," you smile, "You coming from out of town?"

"Yes ma'am," he nods, "Come up here from Austin."

"Texas?"

Joel nods.

"That's a long trip."

"Yeah," he laughs, "It really is."

"So, you're a nice Southern boy, huh?"

"Well," he swishes his glass and tries to bite back a smile, "I don't know that I'd go quite so far, but my mama did raise me to be a gentleman."

"That so?" you ask and his blush deepens.

"I... have been known to get up to some trouble, but I like to think I've mellowed in my old age." He gestures at the beautiful little smatterings of silver at his temples, and you cackle.

"Okay, that's hot," you tell him and he chokes, but you keep going, "Old age, though? What are you, like, forty?"

He exhales, chagrined. "Forty-one."

You roll your eyes. "That ain't old."

"It feels it sometimes," he smiles, "My kid is grown. My little brother's married with a kid of his own on the way. My back hurts, pretty much all the time."

You snort. You also notice, without trying to look, that he doesn't have a wedding band. Doesn't have a tan line for one, either. Interesting.

"But more than that," he continues, "I guess I feel- I don't know. A little... aimless?"

"Yeah," you nod, and you let the moment sit. "I get that."

He lets out a little breath, and then turns back to you, focused.

"What about you? Where're you from?"

"Oof," you exhale, "All over. Spent a bit of time on the East coast. The Midwest. Lived a few months in the South, even," you tease as you bump your shoulder into his and he laughs. It's a surprisingly familiar gesture, but miraculously comfortable.

"Ever make it to Texas?"

"Naw," you shake your head, "My time in the South was all in Mississippi. After that I moved out to California, and I've been slowly working my way up the West Coast."

"And what have you been enjoying about the West Coast?" Joel asks.

"The mushrooms," you grin, and Joel frowns.

"Like, the kind you get in a little baggy from the dealer down the street, or-?"

"No," you laugh, "Or, well- Okay, sometimes. Gotta say it is great out here for that, too. But I mean fungus as a whole--mushrooms, mold, yeast, lichen. But I'm most interested in mushrooms. They're just really fuckin' cool, and there's so much we don't understand about them. And, they're delicious."

"Huh," Joel ponders, "T'tell you the truth, I've never thought much about mushrooms, besides enjoying 'em as a pizza topping."

"Most people don't," you agree, "But fuck, like-- Okay, so we know there are over five million types of fungi on Earth, but we've identified less than two percent of them. Some fungus aids decomposition. Some fungus is bioluminescent. Some are known worldwide for their delicious flavours, and others are known by the slow, horrible ways they kill you."

Joel raises his eyebrows, and suddenly you feel a little self conscious.

"Sorry, I do this," you laugh, rubbing at the back of your neck, "I get very excited about fungus and manage to alienate everyone around me."

You half expect him to stand up and walk away.

Instead, though, he leans in closer. "Don't apologise," he tells you, "I'm learning something new. Tell me more?"

"No, I should stop. Otherwise I'll never stop talking," you wince.

"How about just one more fungus fact?"

You sit for a minute, pondering. "This is- well, I guess this is one of the reasons I find fungus so fascinating. So, fungus can't photosynthesise the way that plants do--they can't produce their own food from sunshine, and water, and carbon dioxide. Instead, their mycelium-- they're these thread-like networks--they branch out beneath the earth, seeking out food, growing in the direction where it can find the nutrients it needs and breaking down organic material all around them, sometimes living organisms, as a parasite, and sometimes dead organisms as a decomposer, or both. And it's just- It's this hidden world, that exists right beneath the surface even in some of the extreme places on earth, temperature-wise. And most days, we don't even think about it."

You punctuate your thought with a large swallow of your drink, which is half-watered down now that the ice is melted, and doesn't hit quite as hard as you'd hoped, but then you look up at Joel and he's smiling at you, pensive, and--

"That's- That's actually really interesting."

Before you can respond, though, Joel glances at his watch and balks. It is getting late. "Shit," he shakes his head, "I think I oughta call it a night," he says, pulling back. "Early morning tomorrow, and if I stay at the bar I'll just keep drinkin'."

Fuck. That's a dismissal. Of course you went on too much about mushrooms. You'd fucked this up. You'd thought this was going well, but now it felt like a bucket of cold water was dumped over you. "Oh," you nod, matching his posture, and try to swallow down the sudden wave of disappointment. "Of course. Have a good night, Joel."

Joel stands up and then looks you up and down, considering. It's not brazen, but it isn't shy, either. And then understanding flashes across his face.

"Wait- Sorry, that's not how I meant it." He reaches out towards you and you melt into his touch. "I'm messin' this up." He chuckles, but it sounds pained. "Now look, I don't wanna make any presumptions. And I'm really hopin' I'm not coming off as some--dirty old man. Jesus, I haven't done this in a while. But I'm in room 308."

Your eyebrows shoot up. What you'd taken for disinterest was just--nerves?

"I reckon I'll be awake for a while yet. You're welcome to... drop by."

The disappointment melts, making way for a fluttering in your stomach.

"Twenty minutes," you assure him, "308?"

He nods and he brakes into a sheepish grin, shedding what you now realise had been something of an anxious wince. "308."

You watch him leave. When he's out of sight, you toss back the rest of your watery drink and go to pay your tab, but Jeff tells you it was already settled. You thank him and tuck your shaking hands in your pockets. You feel an electricity running through you as you take the elevator up.

When you get back to your room, you hop into the shower, just to freshen up--you keep your hair dry but scrub your body. Once you're clean, you brush your teeth.

Stepping back out of the en suite, you survey the hotel room. Spatula is lounging on the corner of the bed, entirely uninterested in your movements. You top up his dry food bowl and place a kiss between his ears before slipping out.

When you knock at Joel's door, you hear a slight rustle and clatter and then the door swings open, Joel's staring a little wide-eyed, like he didn't actually expect you to show. He's wearing grey sweats and a Johnny Cash t-shirt that looks like it's been around nearly as long as you have. He shifts his weight from foot to foot, an anxious tell that's desperately endearing.

"C'mon in," he smiles, and you step in, closing the door behind you.

You reach out to cup his face, delighting in the feeling of coarse stubble beneath your fingertips. Your first kiss is chaste. You both lean forward and press your lips to one another gently, exploring.

Then, you let out a little moan and Joel shudders. Heat surges between you, and his hands are cradling your head and brushing your cheek and he's pinning you against the closed door. You're kissing again, nothing chaste remaining, learning the taste of him, his rhythm, the crashing waves of give and take between you.

You wrap one leg around him and smirk when he lets out a throaty groan as you grind against his hard cock. You're pretty sure he's not wearing underwear, the thick bulge seemingly unconstrained in his grey sweats, the whole length pressing against your thigh.

Your head falls back and you let out soft, breathy noises as his lips trace along your collarbone, up your throat, and against that tender little spot behind your ear. When he puts your earlobe between his lips and presses his teeth gently against the skin, your knees go weak and he chuckles, strong arms wrapping around you, holding you up.

"Bed?" he asks, and you breathe yes and then, with a yelp and a throaty chuckle, you're lifted up and spun around and both tumbling into the duvet.

You're grasping at each other, desperate to keep your hands on one another. The only times you part is when you undress, and even then, you're helping each other--pulling the hem of his shirt over his lifted arms, pressing into him as he reaches around and moves to unhook your bra, but then he realises you're not wearing one and lets out a groan, his thumbs brushing alongside the tender skin along your ribs, moving gently as if to cup your breasts, but then he pulls back.

Normally you might wait, do this part slowly, draw out the tease just a little bit longer.

Tonight, though, you're ravenous.

As you fiddle with the buttons of your pants, you tug at the drawstring keeping Joel's sweats on his hips. The bow comes loose in one smooth motion, and he lifts his hips and you pull the sweats down.

Your mouth immediately waters seeing him bare, laid out for you. You watch a bead of precum drip down the head and pool on his belly. The coarse hair of his happy trail glistens with it. He's thick, uncut, and looks painfully hard, his cock head ruddy. "Fuck, you're beautiful," you tell him, and his cheeks redden but he grins. It's boyish, the way he grins, and devastatingly charming.

And, what you're saying is true. His body is gorgeous, something you wish you could sketch. Soft flesh over hard muscle, visible tan lines where his chest and shoulders are noticeably lighter than his arms. The muscles and veins along his throat are driving you absolutely fucking insane as he swallows and looks up at you.

He's got freckles on his shoulders, too, and without thinking, you lower yourself down to kiss at his shoulder. He shakes, just a little, and lets out the most beautiful gasp. It's addictive, pulling these noises from him. You follow the curve of him, giving him a taste of his own medicine--tracing feather-light kisses along his collarbone, up the tendons of his neck, behind his ear. You can feel the blood pulse in his veins as your lips brush along him. Joel goes from panting lightly to full on groaning, rutting his hips up towards you and, frustrated, meeting only air.

"Can I taste you?", you ask, and Joel lets out a half-strangled sound and nods, vigorous.

You scoot back, lower yourself, poke out your tongue and, without any preamble, lick at the slit of his head, tasting the salty, tangy precum.

Joel tips his head back and groans and you decide to be kind. You grasp onto his hips and take him in your mouth, slowly sinking down, inch by inch by inch and now you can feel him at the back of your throat, your saliva dripping down the shaft and collecting in the hair between his thighs.

You bob your head up and down, taking him deeper with each thrust, but your throat is full and there are still inches to go. You relax, doing everything you can to take him deeper, and he starts to thrust up gently.

You let him fuck into your mouth but release one of his hips, allowing him to move as freely as he needs and freeing up your hand, which you shove into your underwear, rubbing furiously at your clit.

It doesn't take much to lose yourself in it, to focus only on the sensation. You're so wet, slick coating your fingers, making the glide that much smoother as you touch yourself. Joel tastes so good, too, the intrusion of his cock the most delicious thing, feeling the way he shudders when you moan, the way he moans when you shudder.

"Fuck-" Joel gasps, and then there's a hand guiding you gently off of him.

You raise an eyebrow. "You okay?"

He swallows, hard, and nods. "More than okay. Felt too fuckin' good."

"Oh yeah?" and you lean down, as if to take him back in your mouth, but he chuckles and pulls you back again.

"It's been... a while. For me. And-" He drags his palm down his face, wearing an almost pained expression. "Christ, you just look too fuckin' good down there, mouth stretched 'round me while you touch yourself. An' it feels too fuckin' good, too. I ain't ready for this to be over yet but if you keep lettin' me fuck your throat like that it's gonna be over real quick. And I wanna feel that pretty pussy myself."

You sit back up and he pulls you towards him so you're straddling him.

"You gonna fuck me, Joel?"

"Yes," he breathes, "Yes, baby, please-"

You do an awkward wobble and then stand up, shedding your pants and letting your panties drop, stepping out of them, one foot and then the other, and the way he's watching you is addictive. He watches you with beautiful eyes, drinking all of you in, and suddenly the moment has changed into one of those quiet, intimate moments where you both exhale a laugh.

You straddle him again, and lean down to kiss him, and the electric current surges up. He grabs you by the jaw, meeting your desperation. His lips on yours are exactly the balm you need and you can taste the whiskey on his breath.

"Feels fucking good," you tell Joel as you slide up and down his length. He's not penetrating you, not yet, but the lips of your pussy are spread and you're gliding along him, feeling his head at your clit and thrusting back till you're nearly seated on his balls.

He watches you, nearly unblinking, drinking it all in. Then, he lets out a groan, and half-sits up, suddenly focused.

"Shit," he closes his eyes in frustration, "I don't have any condoms. Shit shit shit-"

You push him back down and kiss him again. Then, you hop off the bed and sift around in your jean pockets.

"Ah-ha!," you exclaim, once you've found your treasure. Joel raises and eyebrow and you wink. "Saw they were selling them in the lobby. Figured it might be a good idea."

"Shit," Joel laughs, and presses his lips just to the side of your mouth. "Clever girl," he tells you, and a shiver goes up your spine.

He leans to help, but you shoo him away and he watches, entranced, as you neatly open the condom wrapper and, with a small amount of difficulty, roll it down his cock.

"Feeling okay?" You ask him, "Shit, I shoulda gotten the Magnums. Is your dick okay? It's not being choked to death by an inappropriately sized rubber, is it?"

Joel snorts. "We'll manage," he says, and then he grips you by the hips, lines himself up. He draws his knuckles along your cunt and groans, "Fuck, so goddamn wet for me-" and, the moment you look at him and nod, he holds the head of his cock against your drooling lips and presses into you.

It's a big stretch as he lowers you down onto him, the intrusion almost painful, but before you can even take a breath, it melts into absolute pleasure. You've fucked people with longer cocks before, and you've fucked people with girthier cocks before, but never have you fucked someone with a cock that's both this long and thick and it feels like you're being split in two and it's perfect and you realise, with a sudden flip of your stomach, he isn't even fully seated inside you yet.

Then, you manage to focus on the words Joel is saying-that had really just been background noise for the past ten seconds or so-and suddenly you're tuning back in for "Tha's it," his voice low and hoarse, surprisingly gentle, "Good girl, takin' this cock so well, look at you."

His brow is furrowed and he's looking at you with such dark eyes, nearly black, the pupils are so blown. "Just a little more, that's it, just one more inch, you can do it, christ, look at you, takin' all of me."

His tone is reverent and it sets a fire through you. You can feel more slickness build and drip out of you, and from the way he moans, you're certain he can feel it too despite the condom.

"So fuckin' wet," he groans, "Soakin' my cock- grippin' me so nice-Fuck--"

He leans towards you and cradles your head in his hand, kissing you hard.

When you both pull back, you know your lips must be kiss swollen and red. His are--they're soft and bright, and you want to eat him whole.

"You're gonna be the death of me, woman."

He's thrusting into you lazily, holding you in place, but you need more, you need all of him.

You push forward and move his hand from your waist to your clit. As you manoeuvre him, his nostrils flare, and you'd wonder if he was angry, if not for the way you felt his cock stiffen even further inside of you. You start to move your hips, to rub up against the thumb on your clit, and to feel every fucking inch of him.

Urged on by the way he groans, you start to ride him, properly. Holding each other close, you fuck down onto him and he leans back, awed.

"Enjoying the show?" you ask.

"Damn- right- I- am-," Joel breathes, every word punctuated with a shuddering breath after you drive back down onto his cock, "Jesus- you- look- so- good- like- that."

You like being watched. Being admired. It sent an extra thrill through you, and your hips stutter, just a little, and now you're following a new, faster rhythm.

"Fuck, that's it, baby-" he praises, "Shit, yes- bounce on it."

You lean forward and kiss his throat, and then he makes this noise, half-strangled and beautiful.

"Shit, honey-- honey, honey, hold on-," he holds you still and you're glad he has, because your brain hadn't quite processed his words.

He's looking at you so earnestly.

"Baby, if you keep ridin' me like this I am gonna blow my load in the next twenty seconds and I don't wanna end this quite so soon."

You hum, a moment of consideration. You stare into his eyes, and part of it is calculated seduction, but another part is getting genuinely lost in the way he looks at you. The crinkles round his eyes. The way he seems able to focus on you, in a way that feels as frightening as it is exhilarating.

"How about this," You smile, "You get yours, and then you can eat me out till I get mine. And if you're ready to go again by the time I've come, we can see where we're at then. Hmm?"

You see a bead of sweat trickle down his temple, and take a moment to appreciate how much he's clearly trying to control himself.

After a moments of avoiding your eye, he looks at you again and he looks utterly wrecked. "You- talkin' like that?" He shakes his head and tries to even his breath. "Fuck, I nearly came right there."

"It's okay," you soothe, and you cup his jaw and resume you movements, riding him like you had before. "You can come if you need to-" your fingertips stroke the stubble of his chin, "You're close, huh? It's okay, daddy, you can let go."

Joel lets out a strangled noise and busts immediately.

You savor the way it feels, the pulse of his cock as he spills into you. No, into the condom, you correct yourself, but you can always pretend-

After his balls relax and you can feel him start to get soft, you hold the condom down as you pull yourself off, and you're nearly unseated when there's a sudden squelch noise that sends you both into tumbles of laughter.

It takes a while to calm down, and you find yourselves heaving, tangled in the sheets, and wrapped up in each other. The condom is hanging limply on Joel's now-soft cock and it's oddly cold and gooey as you accidentally roll against it, and that sends you both off again.

"Fuck," Joel snorts, and tugs at the condom, starting to roll it off his length, "I'd almost forgotten the weird texture of a used condom. Fuckin'... Slug-like."

"That-" you declare, "Is visceral. And I hate it. Thanks."

He snorts, and you suddenly have a question.

"Condoms not making too many appearances in your life?"

"Not many, no."

"What, you usually fuck raw?"

"Just haven't been sleepin' with anyone," he shrugs, nonplussed.

"Well, I gotta say, the good people of Austin have been missing out."

Joel shrugs again, and it comes off as casual, but you notice the way his ears tint pink. "Just- not been something I did. But now, I guess, I can. And with way less guilt."

"Why guilt? Are-" you venture, dread pooling in your stomach, "Are you married?"

His eyes flit up to you sharply, and then soften immediately. He lets out a breath and shakes his head. "No. Nothin' like that. I was married, but I've been divorced nearly twenty years now."

The tightness immediately uncoils and you realise how tense you were only a moment ago. I am not a cog in the machine of a collapsing marriage. Thank fuck.

But now your curiosity is piqued. "So... why the guilt?"

"Sorry, I- I really didn't mean to get into it. I'd rather not get into it. It's- complicated."

"Of course," you shrug, and it isn't a problem because this is just a hot fantasy hookup that you'll remember fondly, and it'll be wonderful masturbation fuel for probably the rest of your life, but you don't wanna make the poor guy go into his life's trauma, especially when he's looking at you so fucking earnestly and you are actually really fucking fascinated but no, you would not let this become a problem.

"Thanks," he says, and then steps out of the room. You hear the clang of the bin as he steps on the pedal, then drops the condom, takes a piss and washes his hands.

"You hungry?" He asks, and you realize very suddenly, you're absolutely famished.

"Yes," you jump up and he laughs when you run, bare-assed and shameless, over to the corner of the room filled with brochures and traveller info and finally, you raise it in triumph when you find it, the list of nearby takeaways.

"Okay," you look at the list, "There's one place at the top of the list here that's apparently highly rated, but I actually have plans there soon and I wanna wait till then to eat there. Hope that's okay."

Joel comes over to you and rests his head on your shoulder. "No problem."

"But... alright," you continue. "There's pizza. Or... more pizza. Or, look--there's a Southern-style place, that'll make you feel right at home!" Joel pokes you in the side and you swat at him as he grunts a laugh.

Suddenly, a warning sound starts playing on loop in your brain. It was dreadfully domestic, wasn't it? This was an absolute stranger you'd just met in a hotel bar? But... it also felt... nice? And it felt nice in ways that you'd never found yourself enjoying before. Even with long-term partners. Maybe because this was so low-stakes, you reasoned, such an inevitably temporary situation, so you weren't putting the same kind of pressure on yourself.

As soon as you think that, the eternal curse of overthinking shows itself and you suddenly feel desperately self conscious. Before you can pull away and make some excuse, though, Joel's arm wraps around you and his thumb starts rubbing little circles into a tender bit of skin between your hip and your tummy. The anxiety spiral you'd been teetering on the edge of suddenly vanishes.

"How about-," he nods at the list, "Pizza?"

After Joel calls in your order, the pizza delivery service tells you to expect your food in about thirty minutes. You remember you have a little box of edibles. You ask Joel if he minds if you take one, and he doesn't. You offer him one, and he automatically declines, but then as he starts to explain, he pauses and pivots, goes "Wait, actually. Yeah. Why not?"

A freckled kid who looks no more than sixteen pulls up with a short stack of pizza boxes and a two liter bottle of root beer. He raps awkwardly on the door after exactly thirty five minutes, and it swings open.

The room looks utterly wrecked, clothing strewn along every surface. Joel answers the door wearing a robe, his entire face smelling of sex, and his moustache still shining with the slick of your release.

"Thanks, kid," Joel nods, and hands him a small wad of cash. The kid eyes him and shrugs. "Keep the change," he tells him, and the door swings back shut.

The edibles have hit beautifully. You're both blissed out, comfortably hazy, lost in the sensation of bare limbs on bedsheets and the flavors of the pizza and it's assorted sauces. You lay together on the bed, paper plates strewn between you. In the background, an X-Files rerun plays.

"Ooh!" You sit up as you catch the premise of the episode, "I love this one! See the goo? There's a giant fungal... entity.. that's working on digesting them, and giving them hallucinations as they die."

"You and mushrooms, huh?" Joel laughs, but then looks back at the episode and contemplates the viscous yellow goo. "Jesus christ," he frowns, and sniffs, now contemplating the mushrooms on his pizza slice.

You spot his glare and snort. "I think you're safe."

He takes another bite and shakes his head as if to clear it.

"I'm getting tired," he admits.

"Me too," you agree.

"No pressure, but in case it wasn't clear, you're welcome to stay the night here."

"That's sweet," you tell him, and think it over. "If I took you up on that, would you be offended if I slip out early?"

Joel raises a brow.

"I have a cat," you explain, "And I'm working on moving into a new place, and meeting a friend for breakfast, and then I need to check out after breakfast because I won't be able to get my keys for the new place until the breakfast but I can't take my cat to a diner-"

You take a breath.

"Basically, I've got a bunch of things I need to do in the morning, but if you don't mind me slipping out around, maybe, 5-ish, then I'd love to stay."

He stares at you.

You regret saying as much as you said. You don't need to over-explain yourself to this actual stranger. He doesn't care. There's no reason for him to care. He's probably in it just for the fuck, and it was fun and if you stay then there's a chance the two of you will wake up at some point in the night, still horny and lustful and you might fuck again and you'd be lying if you said that wasn't part of the draw. You realise, though, you'd also be lying if you said you didn't care what he thought of you. All of a sudden, you are overwhelmed with caring what this man thinks of you.

How fucking inconvenient.

"I wouldn't be offended at all," Joel chews, swallows, wipes the corner of his mouth with a napkin and speaks again. "What's your cat's name?"

You don't know what you'd expected he'd say, but it wasn't that. You buffer for a moment. "It's- Spatula."

"Spatula?"

"Yep." You feel foolish.

"Huh. Spatula."

A silent moment between you.

"Got any pictures?"

You weren't expecting that, either. "I... do? Do you want to see them?" He nods. You pull out your phone to scroll through.

Joel, suddenly scrambled around for his phone, too. It was late and he hadn't checked it for hours. Had it been on silent? What if Sarah had called and he'd missed it?

His panic eased when he saw he had only two notifications. Both from Sarah, but neither were bad. He hadn't been neglecting any crises. The first text was a selfie of Sarah and an unfamiliar person, which she'd texted to him with the caption New roomie!! The second contained an address to the place they'd have breakfast tomorrow along with Just wanted you to know I've invited a friend to join us tomorrow morning! Is that okay? Realized I should maybe have checked with you? 😬

There was an ache in his chest. He wanted to keep her to himself, get to spend one last day, just the two of them. It was the start of a whole new chapter, but more than anything, he wished he could hold onto the moment for just a second longer.

But Sarah was stressed, he knew this, so he wasn't gonna make it worse and put this burden on her. He could handle it. He had to handle it. He typed back- No problem, baby. Can't wait to meet your friend.

After a moment, he followed up with another text. Gonna turn in now. Good nite!

The less he texted right now, the better. He did not want Sarah to know anything about the night he was having.

His screen lit up a moment later. Night Dad! He takes a deep breath and wills some of the tension away.

He slips his phone aside and you scoot into bed next to him.

"This," you announce, "Is Spatula."

Joel scrolls thru, his brows raising higher with each image.

With a single nod, he opens his mouth and instead of speaking, he collapses into laughter. It comes out a wheeze- "I-- I know this won't make any sense, but your cat looks just like my goddamn brother."

You're laughing now too, both of you almost hysterical, even though you have no frame of reference. You cherish the absurdity.

Then, Joel pulls up a picture on his phone and shows you, and now you're doubling over again because his brother looks exactly like Spatula.

You don't remember falling asleep. You curse your body's internal clock because you wake up right at 5am, and even though you know you should get up and leave, you wish you could have just a little bit longer.

It's such a comfortable way to wake up. One arm is folded under your pillow, and the other is slung over Joel's hip. He's asleep, snoring softly, and strands of his hair are mussed along his forehead. Your hand is holding his tummy, but you realise there's something pressing against the heel of your hand, and then realise, with a delicious jolt, that he's hard and straining against his boxers.

It's so fucking hard to get out of that bed, but with enough barely-effective reminders--you're gonna fuck up your whole day if you're late, gotta make a good impression, Spatula's gonna be so disappointed if you're late with his breakfast--you manage to bully yourself out of the warm and wonderful bed containing blankets and absolutely fantastic dick, and you tiptoe through the room, dress quickly, and, after making a note and leaving it on his bedside stand, you slip out.

Joel wakes up with a jolt, and then rolls over to see that the alarm clock (which he dared not contemplate the number of times he must have snoozed) was telling him it was 9:13.

He was late. Really fucking late. And then the panic made his brain spin faster and that's when he noticed the note on his bedside table.

I had a really good time If you're in town for a little longer, don't be a stranger?

It's followed with your name and phone number, and a rather detailed mushroom sketch across the page. He wasn't sure what kind of mushroom it was, but it was beautiful, and clearly hand-drawn, and for whatever reason you'd decided to tear it out of, presumably, your sketchbook? And you gave it to him, and he's gonna read that note and replay last night for the rest of his fucking life. It felt incredibly precious. He placed it in a book so it wouldn't get creased or folded. Made sure it was all contained and neat, totally flat in between the pages.

Then, he dragged himself out of bed and into the shower.

After scrubbing the smell of sex off of his entire body, he dresses quickly and checks his watch again. 9:28.

He texts Sarah and lets her know he's a few minutes behind. She responds with an eye roll emoji.

Joel settles in his truck and pulls up directions. It's only a few minutes away. He won't be too late.

When Joel steps into the diner, he's charmed by it. It's old school, with a checkerboard floor and bright red vinyl seats. He scans the room till he spots Sarah in a booth in the corner. She's laughing over a hot chocolate, and her friend must be in the seat opposite her.

He catches Sarah's eye and she grins at him, waving him over.

You've been at the diner about fifteen minutes, and you and Sarah are already getting along beautifully.

You'd met on a university message board and had become fast friends, but meeting someone in person was always a little terrifying. On top of that, you'd already committed to spending at least one (academic) year with this person, so you were damn sure gonna make it work.

Sarah waves over her dad. You can't see him yet, the back of the booth too high.

But then he's standing right there.

You already have a hand outstretched, but when he sees you and you see him, your stomach flips and dread runs through you. All the color drains from his face. He looks like a deer in headlights, and you'd be surprised if you didn't look the same.

Sarah looks between you, not quite concerned, but definitely confused. Sarah smiles and tries to diffuse the situation.

"Hi dad!" She grins, "This is my new roommate! Well, the other new roommate--the one in the picture, their name is Ellie, they weren't able to make it this morning. BUT. Breakfast seemed like a great time to hand off keys!"

Joel is still frozen and white-faced. Your brain whirs, and you know you've just fucking catapulted yourself into a disastrous mess, but you do your very best to save face.

Reaching your hand out further so he can't possibly miss it, he gives into some familiar social instinct, takes it and you shake. You think of his hands, how they dragged along your body last night, touched you, felt you, wrecked you.

You introduce yourself. He nods, avoiding eye contact.

"Joel." He grunts. "Miller."

Sarah frowns at him, but turns back to the menu.

This- was unexpected. Problematic. Arguably, really fucked up. All of those things and more. But it'll be fine.

All throughout breakfast, you repeat that to yourself, letting the words bounce around your head. It will be fine, you repeat your mantra, it will be fine, and you try not to feel too hurt at the way Joel's avoiding eye contact as if simply looking at you will cause him unimaginable disgust.

Everything will be fine.

Note: The fic's premise is loosely based on the book Mistakes Were Made which is a fucking excellent sapphic romance novel that utilises this trope. Would strongly recommend the book if you're into smutty queer stories.

#joel miller smut #tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #joel miller x f!reader #ok i gotta be honest i was stoned out of my mind for writing most of this #but mostly sober for editing #thank u for bearing with meeeeeee

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wyn-n-tonic · 1 year

Text

That's A Real Fucking Legacy: The Lips I Used to Call Home

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader/former Tommy Miller x f!reader Word Count: 1392 Warnings: I don't think there are any (let me know if I'm wrong). Author's Note: Title longer than a Fall Out Boy song.

That's A Real Fucking Legacy Masterlist

Calling Boston to Wyoming a quick shot straight through would be laughable. It would’ve been laughable in the before but it is definitely laughable now.

But to do this with a baby?

It’s not just laughable, it’s a goddamn death wish.

The only way she’s calmest is wrapped up against her daddy’s chest, his large arms folded over her small body. It leaves him unable to do much else but it’s also the only way his own fear leaves his eyes.

There’s luck in the Fireflies, though.

Safe house to safe house, vehicle to vehicle. There’s no thick, rotten scent of the infected near until somewhere in Kansas City.

He feels useless, like he’s unable to protect the baby or you or anybody else. But despite stewing about sitting in the safe house with you and the baby, he does express happiness over the first alone time you’ve shared in about three weeks.

“You should be sleeping, sweetheart,” he says, his voice laced through with a tone that says it’s not a suggestion. “You need your strength.”

The season is giving over from late summer to early fall, every day changing hour by hour with the walking and the driving. It was easy in the QZ, year by year. You knew what to expect, how to rest your body—you could seek rest for your body when you needed.

You need it so much more every day with the way the weather and the travel is going after your body followed by the stress of it all; the complex emotions this entire ordeal is brought on.

This was never a hope in your mind; leaving, going. Your eyes rolled every time Tommy talked about leaving the QZ, it was the subject of so many fights. He believed there was better and you only believed there was death beyond the walls of FEDRA protection. The longer time stretched on after he left, the more steadfast that belief came to the point that you shook with sobs and fear every time Joel made his trips across to trade.

“I'm fine, really.”

The bed beneath you isn’t what you’d call comfortable, not in the before times at least and definitely not in comparison to the worn in lump you were used to back in Boston. You’ve been laying together since the moment you settled into the safe house, everybody else going out to clear paths for the trucks to get through.

Baby babbles through sleep in her father’s arms beside you, not once have you called her by the name you ended up giving her. Not since he showed up. And the belief that beyond the walls means death is so hardwired into your body and brain that you can’t find it in you to sleep. That’s why he’s talking about your strength, sneaks you bits of his own rations.

You’re still breastfeeding, as well. When you can, anyway. It’s been harder on the road and the lack of any real privacy isn’t helping. No matter how he tries to shield your body, the awareness that there’s not just eyes but Tommy’s eyes is enough to run every part of you dry and cold even if it’s getting hotter and more humid with every day you pass into the south.

“You look like shit, sweetheart,” he whispers across the small space between your bodies. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re afraid to sleep.”

“Yeah,” you tell him, eyes darting down to your daughter between you. “I am.”

“I’m right here,” he says, hand smoothing down the hair at the crown of your head. “It’s okay, please rest.”

They’re gone when you wake.

It's just you in a cold and empty bed, a threadbare excuse for a blanket draped over your sleeping body along with his jacket. Alarm bells go off in your brain and then you hear the voices in the next room.

Joel’s.

Baby’s.

Tommy’s.

Nobody else, just them.

“She has your dimples.” Tommy.

There’s a small laugh and then Joel says he’s glad she got them on both sides, not just the one.

Tommy’s voice is tired, weather worn and rough from strain. Not how he sounded this morning when he left.

There’s a hunger in your stomach, growing and aching loud but it stops with every word spoken between the men you love that filters through the thin walls and half cracked door.

“How is she really?” Tommy asks. “Joel, I still love her—“

“How? How can you still love her when you left her alone for so long?”

“How could I ask either of you to come with me if I didn’t?”

There’s an annoyed kind of grumble that could only belong to Joel and then silence that stretches on just long enough to make you think there’s space to move forward into the conversation but then it breaks.

“I wouldn’t say that she’s good, Tommy.” You can hear the way his leg bounces to entertain the baby. “None of us are good anymore but, my God, she’s fucking amazing.”

“Yeah?”

Joel clears his throat. “Yeah.”

“Do you love her?” The younger man asks.

A beat.

Another.

Two more.

“I feel a whole lot more for that woman than just love, Tommy,” he finally says. “I know you’re hurting but you have to understand that I—we thought that you were dead. She hurt for a long time and I watched her do that and I did my best to be there for her but—“ Baby babbles to interrupt him and you can practically see the smile in the laughter that follows.

Those feelings, the existence of them, aren’t new to you. Still, every time he insinuates their existence your head gets light—fuzzy and warm.

“But what, Joel?” Tommy prompts him. “I’m trying to understand this, because I want to not hurt and I want to look at this little girl and not want to cry.”

“Yeah.” A chair creaks and you assume somebody sat forward or back. “I want to look at her and not want to cry, too, but I felt that with Sarah—I feel that with you, Tommy, you might as well have been my first kid sometimes. It wasn’t just me that was there for her through all that hurt over those years, she was there for me and refused to let me pull away. Being with her is the closest I feel to who I was before, I need you to understand that.”

“That's how she made me feel, too,” Tommy responds. “But I don’t know if I’ll ever really understand.”

“I guess that’s fair,” Joel concedes. “Hell, that’s more than fair, you’re probably really sick of us asking you to understand. Can I have Baby back now?”

Confusion floods through you, you were certain the calm, happy babbles were because she was tucked into her daddy’s arm; bouncing on her daddy’s leg.

“Does she have a name?” Tommy asks. “Or have you just been calling her Baby this whole time? I know you’re afraid to get attached, Joel, but—“

“We named her Thomasin,” Joel says, that stern, warning shot in his tone again. Begging his brother to understand this, that this was the honor you could give his memory—that you named what was born out of grief and love for him after him. “We call her Thomi for short but we’ve been thinking about changing it. We figured it would make you uncomfortable.”

“No,” Tommy answers. “No, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all.”

Hunger grows loud again but so, too, does the blood rush of his words up your neck, into your cheeks and between your ears. For all the tears and all the yelling and the hurt of fresh cuts on closed wounds his arrival brought back into your life, those are the words of the man you once loved. It has been weeks and he is holding her, speaking about her—about you—so gently. Despite saying he doesn’t understand, it’s there in his voice and lacing through every one of his words and it grows stronger each day closer to Jackson.

“I promised her that I’d come back for her, give her a safer and happier life that she deserves,” Tommy starts again. “I’m heartbroken that it won’t be with me, Joel, but I am glad it’s with you.”

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #tommy miller #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller fanfiction #tlou #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #gabriel luna character #pedro pascal character #o writes

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justagalwhowrites · 1 year

Text

Lavender - Ch. 18

A night out at the speakeasy leads to an unexpected connection. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-17 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader (broken up), Tommy Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT :D unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up!) and Tommy being an absolute flirt. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only!

Length: 4.8 k

Saturday, May 15, 2010 - Six Months Later

“I need more than a drink,” Lucy put her head on the front desk of the clinic with a groan. “I need at least 2. Probably five.”

“I think they have that,” Andrew said, smiling a little. “Pretty much the whole draw.”

“That one guy was such a dick,” she propped her chin on her fist. “Why did I decide to become a nurse again? Why did I think this was a good idea?”

“Because you made career choices before the world ended and then stuck it out?” You said, sitting on top of the desk behind the counter.

“Yeah being a nurse wasn’t exactly a walk in the park then, either,” she grumbled. “This is my problem, I’m basically an addict, I get one REALLY GOOD patient and then I act like that fixes alllllll the assholes…”

“Sounds like dating men,” Marta joined your little group from the exam area. “Lee is finishing up with the final patient and then we’re free. We’re so close, guys. So close I can taste it.” Marta glanced over at you and groaned. “Aw, Doc, you got changed? You look all cute and shit? That’s not fair!”

“Hey,” you replied. “I have nowhere else to wear the cute dress. You have dates. I have speakeasy night with my coworkers, just give me this.”

“You could have dates too, if you wanted,” Jess was perched on the other side of the horseshoe shaped desk, Andrew squarely between you in his office chair. Her feet were in his lap. “All you’d have to do is just say yes to one of the guys who talks to you or actually ask someone out.”

“Yes but why should I when I have you lovely people, all our patients and Petri dishes in the lab to keep me company?” You smiled. Andrew and Jess shared a brief look. You tried to not roll your eyes. Mostly because they’d given you a lot of leeway in the past almost year since you and Joel had split up. Especially when you got back from your trip outside the QZ.

You hadn’t even bothered to go home that night. You walked straight to Andrew and Jess’ place, knocking on the door and trying to not cry until you were inside. Andrew was the one to answer and you fell into him, burying your face in his chest as it felt like you were cracking open with the pain of it.

“You were right,” you choked out as he pulled you inside. “About what he did out there, you were right…”

“Oh, honey,” he wrapped his arms around you the best he could with the backpack in the way, kissing the top of your head before tucking you below his chin. “I’m so sorry. I wish I was wrong. I really do.”

You slept there that night, Andrew sandwiched between you and Jess, other people and the safety that came with them the only thing that let you rest.

You’d managed to avoid Joel since you’d returned. It had been half a year since you last saw him that night at the QZ fence. There were signs of him, though. He was usually on your mind somehow, not that you were happy about it.

A few weeks after the trip, you passed Tess on your way to look for a few more books and CDs at the underground sellers’ shops. She didn’t notice you but you noticed her. It looked like she’d gotten into a fight, she had a black eye and gash at her throat. You frowned.

“Tess?” You changed direction to follow her. “Tess!”

She turned and looked surprised that you’d talk to her for a moment before meeting you in the middle.

“Doc,” she looked you up and down. She had a tendency to do that, you noticed. She liked to evaluate things. Like she thought you might have changed since she last saw you. “Good to see you.”

“You too,” you smiled. “Look, I’m happy I ran into you, I’ve been thinking…” You glanced around and tugged her off to the side of the road. “You and Tommy and… everyone, you’re still making runs, right?”

“Not taking you out there again,” she shook her head. “Joel was pretty firm on that…”

“No, that’s fine,” you waved her off. “I just… You know that saying ‘an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?’”

“Sure,” she shrugged.

“Well there’s only so much I can do for you if you guys come back already hurt, down a lot of blood, all that jazz,” you said. “But if I gave you some basic trauma supplies, showed you how to use them…”

“You’d do that,” she said it more than asked it.

“Of course,” you frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?” She didn’t say anything else, so you just pressed on. “Could you plan to come by my apartment sometime this week, late? I can put together some kits, show you what to do for common injuries…”

“Wednesday?” She asked.

“After 10:30,” you said. “Should give me time to get home from the clinic.” You were surprised to learn that you actually kind of liked Tess. She showed up to your apartment not long after you did. Wednesday had been a rough one and your shirt was still bloody, deciding to prioritize getting the blood out of your hairline instead of changing your clothes.

“Doc,” she said by way of greeting, her eyes drifting to the blood on your shirt and back up to your face, strand of bloody hair still in your fingers.

“Sorry,” you said, giving an apologetic smile. “Had to do a field amputation today without anesthesia, it was a mess… I’m making tea, want a cup?”

“I’ll take tea,” she said, coming in and sitting at the table. You got your still bloody hair out of the way and quickly pulled the shirt off before grabbing a t-shirt out of the drawer and pulling it on.

“Sorry,” you smiled apologetically again. “I just really needed to get at least some of that blood off me…”

You put the tea on the table and grabbed the kit you put together, giving Tess a crash course in trauma stabilization 101.

“So were you a military doctor when this shit started?” She asked after you packed the supplies back up.

“Oh God no,” you laughed. “No, I was a biology teacher. I was finishing up a pre-med degree though, and I’d always wanted to be a doctor so I was just reading everything I could find to get a jump on med school. I got here, they were setting up medical facilities with all of one doctor so he trained me.”

“And how’d you meet Joel?” She was sitting back in he chair, watching you. His name made your stomach clench.

“You could ask him,” you said, looking at the almost empty tea cup.

She scoffed.

“You are an off limits topic,” she said. “For both Miller men, as it happens. Joel doesn’t answer, Tommy says it’s not his shit to say. Joel got back from the trip with you, said nothing for three days and then pretended that nothing happened.”

You nodded slowly.

“And you don’t like not knowing,” you said. She smiled.

“Exactly.”

You signed, fidgeting with the mug.

“I met Joel in 1999,” you said. Her eyes went wide. “It’s why they called me Kid, I was just 20 back then, still in college.”

“Jesus, you were a kid. He still a grumpy asshole then?” She laughed. You laughed back.

“Very rarely,” you said. “Punched Tommy in the face at a bar once because Joel was being an asshole and Tommy called him on it. Though I made him watch ‘When Harry Met Sally’ and he actually liked it. Tried so hard not to laugh at the fake orgasm scene he choked on his beer.”

She laughed at that. She told you about some of her life before, too. Spending summer on a lake with her husband and son, a mishap when renovating their basement that left a giant splotch of paint over the new linoleum that they’d never been able to properly clean up. You got both of you beer.

“I was never sure who the outbreak was worse for,” she said. “People like me who had a life going that got ripped away or people like you who never really had a fucking chance at one.”

“We all got screwed,” you said. “Sometimes I think we all died back then, everyone who’s left is just a ghost of what they would have been otherwise.”

“And you still wear ribbons on your braids,” she nodded to your hair. You glanced down, the blue ribbon splotched purple where the blood had splattered it. You smiled a little.

“There are very few things that make life worth it anymore,” you said after a moment. “And life is too short to not wear the damn ribbons.”

You knew they were using the trauma kit supplies. Tess would show up every six weeks or so, asking for a resupply. She’d even asked for a new euthanasia kit once. You almost had a panic attack before she had the chance to tell you that it wasn’t Joel or Tommy, just a traveler they’d run into who couldn’t bring themselves to turn their gun on themselves. But you hadn’t needed to come pull a bullet out of any of them again, so you were counting their trips as a success.

“Alright kids,” Lee came out from the exam area, lab coat still on. “We are all set, they’re getting dressed and then we are out of here!”

“I’m going for the jukebox as soon as we get there,” Marta said. “No one try to stop me!”

“Oh God,” Andrew groaned. “You’re going to make us listen to the Backstreet Boys all night aren’t you?”

“Think they’re still alive out there?” She asked. “Just performing for some QZ on the west coast?”

“Imagine if they’re infected,” Jess said. “You’re just walking down the street and then bam, attacked by a Backstreet Boy…”

“This,” Andrew looked up at her. “This is why I love you.”

Walking to the Speakeasy with everyone reminded you a little of college. It helped that you were wearing a sundress like you’d worn so much in Texas. It helped that the weather was warm and the sky was clear. Mostly, it helped that there were people laughing. You weren’t sure if your memory was just selective but it seemed like people just didn’t laugh anymore.

There were some tables in the corner of the speakeasy that were open and you pushed them together, sitting down with your back against one of the walls. It just felt better that way.

“Beer?” Andrew looked to Jess. She nodded and he turned to you. “Beer?”

“I’m thinking a 1996 left bank Bordeaux, something with some good body to it,” you said, thinking.

“Yeah, so beer?” He smiled.

“Yes please,” you smiled back.

“I only put on two songs,” Marta sat beside you. “So, Andrew, Mr. ‘If it’s not rock and roll it’s not music,’ will only have to suffer for so long.”

“And if only we could get him to suffer in silence,” Jess mused.

You laughed and Andrew brought beer and you sat drinking with your friends, forgetting for a minute that it was the end of the world.

“Doc?”

You turned to see a slightly familiar face. You frowned for a moment, trying to place him when it clicked.

“Oh my gosh, Tim?” You asked. He smiled, nodding. “Holy cow, you’re so… adult!”

He laughed. He was a student from your first year as a teacher in the QZ, finishing high school in 2007. You hadn’t seen him since.

“Yeah, I’m 21 now,” he smiled proudly. “Doesn’t really matter much now but still, cool to say.”

Bitter Sweet Symphony started playing and he held out his hand.

“Wanna dance?” He asked. “I think the statute of limitations of you as my teacher are up.”

“Fuck it,” you shook your head. “Why not?”

“Yeah!” Marta whooped. “Getting Doc on the dance floor!”

You flipped her off and she laughed as you followed behind him.

Tim, you were happy to know, was doing alright for himself. He had a girlfriend he was crazy about. He was stuck working for FEDRA, of course, but he was doing some engineering work.

“All because you made me interested in science,” he said, one hand at your waist, the other in yours. “So, thanks for that.”

“You’d have gotten there eventually without me,” you smiled. “But I’ll take some credit for your success.”

The song changed to something you didn’t recognize, something fun and upbeat. His face brightened.

“Mind if I spin you?” He asked. “Always wanted to try that.”

“I am in the dress for it,” you smiled a little. “Go for it, kid.”

He clumsily twirled you under his arm until his fingers slipped out of yours and sent you spinning across the dance floor. You were laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe and he took your hand again just as you saw Joel, watching you from across the bar.

Your laughter died and your breath caught in your throat. Seeing him was like seeing a ghost. It took you a moment to understand why but then you realized it. Since November, you’d thought of the Joel you knew as though he were dead. He’d died with Sarah, back in September, 2003. He’d never made it to Boston.

You’d mourned him in a way. You’d put the few clothes he’d left at your place into the floorboards with your stash - those weren’t his, after all - but left the picture of him, Sarah and you on your nightstand. That Joel wasn’t a killer. That Joel hadn’t blamed you for it. You’d taken to charging your old cell phone, reading back through texts with him and with Sarah that were still stored there every night before you fell asleep. There was a voicemail, too, one from a week before you visited the last time.

“Hey Baby,” he’d said. “Think I fucked up the time difference again, must still be out with Louisa… Anyway, missin’ ya. Call me when you’re home safe. Love you.”

That Joel was dead and the man he’d become was staring daggers at you.

“Doc?” Tim said.

“Mind if I cut in?” Andrew said.

“Good to see you, Tim,” you managed to turn and smile at him. “Glad to know you’re doing well.”

“Take care, Doc,” he smiled, leaving you with Andrew. He pulled you into his arms and put his mouth near your ear.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” he said quietly, holding you tightly to him so you had no choice but to sway with him. “We’re going to stay out here for this song and we’re going to have a great time. And then we’re going to go back to the table and drink the beers that Jess is getting us right now.”

“I just…”

“Nope,” he cut you off. “We’re not doing that, we’re not going to run away because that fucker showed up. We’re going to stay here and we’re going to have fun in spite of his ass. Got it?”

You just nodded.

“Good.”

You weren’t paying attention to the music, the feeling of Joel’s eyes on you drowning out almost everything else, Andrew’s hands on you seeming like the only thing tethering you to the earth. You let him guide you back to the table, a fresh beer sitting in front of your seat.

“Hey Doc!” Jess said brightly. “So an amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says ‘so… do I come here often?’”

It took you a second and then you laughed, the spell of Joel’s eyes on you snapping. And life continued on. Until a Texas drawl appeared over your shoulder.

“Scuse me.” Andrew’s eyes narrowed as you looked behind you, Tommy standing there. “I was really hoping I could get you onto the dance floor.”

“Me,” you said, incredulous.

“Well I try to make a habit of getting the prettiest girl at the bar to give me the time of day,” he smiled. “So I’m just hopin’ you’ll cut me a break for old time’s sake.”

“Look,” Andrew said, but you cut him off.

“Why not,” you said. He smiled - that fucking Miller man smile - and offered you his hand. You took it and he pulled you to your feet and toward the dance floor. Linger was playing. He put his hands at your waist and your arms went around his neck, swaying in time.

“So Kid,” he smiled. “How’ve you been?”

“Good,” you said cautiously. You could feel Joel’s eyes on you.

“I feel like you’re doubtin’ my good intentions,” he said.

“If Joel sent you to talk to me, you can tell him to fuck off,” you said.

“That asshole?” He scoffed. “He about ripped my arm off when I said I was going to ask you to dance, he doesn’t want me doin’ this. You think that’s the only reason I’d come talk to you?”

“Maybe not the only reason,” you smiled a little.

“Wasn’t joking about gettin’ the prettiest girl at the bar to give me the time of day,” he smiled back. “Got news for you, any bar you’re in? That’s you. I just have to talk you into it now.”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head a little, smiling anyway.

“You’re still such a player, aren’t you?” You teased.

“Nah, just a charmer,” he said.

“How’ve you been?” You asked.

“Well as can be expected,” he shrugged. “Roommate’s a dick but…”

You snorted and he smiled broader.

“I told him he was a fuckin’ asshole for what he did to you, you know,” he said after a moment, face turning serious. “He was also a fuckin’ dumbass but he’s always been a dumbass. It’s the asshole shit I can’t stand.”

“Let me know if the message ever sinks in,” you said wryly.

“That’ll be the day,” he scoffed.

The song shifted, something soft and slow. He tugged you closer and your cheek leaned into his chest. You danced quietly for a bit.

“I wanted to ask you out, back in the day,” he said eventually, his lips close to your ear.

“Really?” You glanced up at him, not wanting to move your head.

“Joel told me you were ‘off limits,’” he laughed a little. “Course I didn’t know that was because he wanted ya but…”

“Damn,” you joked. “Dibs really put you off, huh?”

“If I’d known it was just dibs it wouldn’t have,” he replied.

The song changed to Black Magic Woman and he stepped back from you a bit.

“Now, see, I might have had some ulterior motives,” he smiled sheepishly. “May have put this on the jukebox in hopes I could get you to dance to it with me…”

“I don’t know how to dance to this,” you laughed, moving to head back to your seat, hand still in his. He caught you and pulled you back against him.

“I do,” his hand went to the small of your back, pressing your hips against his. You swallowed. “Just gotta follow my lead, pretty girl.”

He took the lead, his hips pushing against yours, moving in sharp rhythm. You could feel him through his jeans. His legs nudged yours in the right steps, your breasts flush against him. His eyes traced your face, lingering on your lips.

The song felt too short, the two of you coming to a stop in the middle of the dance floor, bodies still close together.

“How ‘bout a drink?” He smiled.

“Sure,” you smiled back. He laced his fingers with yours and led you to the bar, just catching a glimpse of Joel standing up and storming off as you did.

Tommy joined the table with your coworkers, pulling up a chair close to yours, one hand on the small of your back. Marta asked how you knew each other and immediately latched on to the “we’ve been friends for 11 years” thing to get stories out of him like the time he tried to teach you to grill and you accidentally set the thing on fire and seriously considered pushing it into the pool to put it out.

“We’re gonna head out,” Andrew said before he leaned in to kiss your cheek goodbye, whispering in your ear as he did. “You OK?”

You just nodded and he left with Jess. You realized then that they were the last of the party to leave.

“One more drink,” Tommy smiled. “Just you and me.”

“Well if you’re going to twist my arm about it,” you smiled back.

The bar was emptying out, just a few stragglers left on the dance floor. Tommy got you both a whiskey on the rocks, sitting next to you in a booth, putting his arm around your shoulders. You propped your feet on the chair across the table from you and leaned your head on his chest, swirling the whiskey in your chipped glass. The ice clinked.

“Missed seein’ you,” he said after a minute, taking a drink. “You always just… Made shit better. It’s all brighter with you.”

“You’re sweet,” you smiled a little, taking a drink. “And I’ve missed seeing you, too.”

Closing Time came on and Tommy laughed.

“We can take a hint!” He yelled over your head before finishing his drink. “We’re goin, we’re goin.”

You laughed, polishing yours off, too, before getting up. You could just barely feel the alcohol in your head, far from drunk and just on the edge of tipsy.

“C’mon,” he said. “I’ll walk you home.”

“You know, I walk home on my own late at night most days,” you said, following him out of the bar, anyway. “Always ends up fine.”

“Humor me,” he smiled, holding out his hand. You smiled back, taking it. He tugged you close to him, setting an easy pace.

You talked about random things you missed about Austin, laughing when you mentioned your favorite second hand clothing shop downtown near campus.

“Isn’t that just shopping now?” He teased.

“Oh you know it’s not the same,” you laughed. “I got this great dress there once from the 70s. I think I only wore it once, to a wedding, but damn did it make my boobs look fantastic. One of life’s great regrets is the fact that it’s rotting away in my closet in New York.”

“Damn,” he shook his head. “Now one of my great regrets is not seeing that dress…”

You laughed, stopping at the door to your building.

“This is me,” you half smiled.

“How about I walk you up?” He asked. You raised your eyebrows. “I know I know, but how often do you walk home from the clinic with a few drinks in you?”

“I’ve treated you, do you want to know the answer to that question?” You teased. He laughed.

“Well those times, I wouldn’t have to feel guilty if somethin’ happened to ya,” he said. “Let me walk you up.”

“If that’s what will help you live the dream, Miller, far be it from me to stop you.”

You opened the communal door and led the way upstairs, stopping by your apartment.

“See?” You teased, after unlocking your door but leaving it closed and turning to face him. “So eventful.”

He leaned his arm against the door frame, caging you in on one side. His eyes dropped to your lips before going back to your eyes.

“Still think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” he said quietly, his free hand delicately lifting your chin toward him.

“Tommy,” you breathed. His hand slipped from your chin to the back of your head, his thumb still along your cheek.

“Want me to stop?” He asked, moving closer.

You swallowed.

“No,” you said.

“Good,” he said. “Neither do I.”

He kissed you then. Soft, gentle, his lips parting just enough that you could taste the whiskey on his breath. He leaned his body into yours, the hips that had been moving with yours on the dance floor pressing into you a different way now. A familiar ache sparked low in your stomach as you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck.

You weren’t sure how long he kissed you, but after a moment, he pulled back, a little breathless.

“Why don’t we go inside?” He said softly.

“Yeah,” you nodded, opening the door behind you.

Things moved a lot faster then. His hands slid the straps of your dress down your arms before your door was fully closed. He reached to lock it while you fumbled with the buckle of his belt. His lips were on yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth, his hands ranging over every inch of skin they could reach before sliding your dress down to pool on the floor. You pulled at the buttons of his shirt until you were able to shove it off and he quickly unclipped your bra. He looked down at your bare chest, panting for breath a little.

“Damn,” he said. “Don’t regret not seein’ the dress anymore. This is so much fuckin’ better.”

He stepped out of his boots quickly and you unbutton and unzipped his pants. You kicked off your sandals and he tugged your panties down, leaving them on the floor as you pulled him against you toward your bed. He paused, your legs against the bed, his hands holding you gently.

“You sure you’re good with this?” He asked.

“Just kiss me, Miller,” you said. He wasted no time obliging.

You pulled him onto your bed with you, his weight settling easily between your thighs. He slid a hand down your body to your pussy, softly tracing your clit for a moment before pressing his fingers against you, working you in slow, longing circles. You moaned against his mouth, rocking your hips against his hand. You felt him smile against your lips.

Tommy slipped a thick finger inside you, exploring you, the tip brushing your inner walls until he found the spot that made your toes curl. He added another finger, working both of them against the place inside you, adding his thumb to your clit until your back arched and you came with a loud moan around him.

“Fuck, gorgeous,” he pressed his lips to your collar bone. “Gonna need you to do that again while I’m inside you… you’ve got me fuckin’ desperate for it…”

“Then get inside me,” you panted, reaching between your bodies to take his cock in your hand. He was thick, hard, not so long that you were worried about whether or not he would fit but long enough that you knew he would fill you. You worked him up and down, spreading the wetness from his tip over him.

“Tryin’ to kill me, I swear,” he said, slipping his fingers from inside you to himself, brushing your hand away. He lined himself up with your entrance, pressed his lips to yours and thrust into you.

The stretch was immediate, a sharp but pleasant burn as he sank into you. He moaned against your lips and you rocked your hips against him, making his movements stutter.

“You trying to make me cum before I’m even inside you?” He gasped. “Fucking hell, girl.”

He thrust the rest of the way inside you in one quick, hard motion, making your back arch, pulling a delicious moan from your lips. His arm slipped below you, pulling your torso flush with his as he began to fuck into you, his thick cock sliding out to just the tip before thrusting back against your back wall with every stroke. You clung to him as his lips found your throat, your breasts, his hard length moving faster, more forcefully every time. The tip of him was hitting the spot inside you with every movement, your second orgasm building fast.

“Fuck, I’m going to…” you managed. He thrust harder, your sentence ending in a strangled cry.

“Won’t last when you do,” he gasped. “Where can I…”

“I’m on the pill,” you said quickly.

“Thank fuck.”

He picked up the pace, holding himself deep inside you every few strokes, your body tightening and coiling around him until you felt the taught band of pleasure snap, your core pulsing around him.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck…” he groaned, thrusting two more times before collapsing on top of you, both of you limp and gasping for breath.

He pressed his lips to your throat, still deep inside you, and you saw the picture frame with Joel and Sarah on your nightstand out of the corner of your eye. While he was distracted, you reached up and silently set it face down before wrapping your arms around the man in your bed.

A/N: THAT'S RIGHT GUYS SHE'S GETTING WITH BOTH BROTHERS AND JOEL FUCKING HATES IT. This has been building since literally day one of this story lol. Tommy has had a crush on her FOREVER and now it's finally paying off - for him and for us (because we get the drama of it)

I have a taglist, so if you'd like to be included, just comment below! Thank you so so much for reading and following along. I hope you enjoy the drama and the angst! Love you all!

Taglist: @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter @flugazi @pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji @starstruckmusiciansartghost @splendsay @bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #smut fic #tommy miller

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louis-the-french-one · 1 year

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Joel Miller x Teen!GN Reader

AFAB Reader

Request : *verbal request from my friend* Can I have a Joel Miller fic of Reader coming out to Joel as Trans after they get attacked? Platonic/Parental relationship !

Type : Comfort

Relationship : Platonic/Parental

Summary : While on the road to get to Tommy, Joel and Reader get attacked, they get out just fine but Reader is exhausted, which leads to Reader coming out as trans and explaining that they wear a binder

Warnings : self-hatred, internalized transphobia, abusive wear of binder (BE SAFE MY LOVELY PEOPLE), coming-out, violence, swear words

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You and Joel were still looking for Tommy and had stopped in a town to get some more food and supplies. While wandering in the lonely streets, you had suddenly heard people talking just across the street. Three raiders were coming your way. It took only a second for Joel to notice them as well.

“Fuck! Run Y/N, Run” Joel suddenly whispered/screamed.

“Fucking hell Joel ! Fuck!” You said, startled.

You did as asked and ran to safety in a nearby house. Joel though, quickly hid behind an old car and took the raiders by surprise, killing one from a bullet before going to fight the other two with a knife, whom ran towards him. While Joel was fighting them the best he could, and you were hiding, you quickly realised he was gonna need help seing he had managed to kill another one but the last was putting up a great fight. Taking a deep breath, already tucking at your binder, you opened the back door of the house and ran as fast as you could to where Joel had parked the car, you knew he had extra shotguns in there, though he never let you use them.

Running as fast as you could, it took you a few minutes to get to the car, you took a shotgun he had hidden in the trunk, loaded it, took bullets with you and got ready to run again. Your ribcage was already killing you, ‘now is not the time to take my binder off’, you thought. Even out of breath you got back to running. You tripped a few times, your mind dizzy from the pain and the lack of air. You manage to get back to Joel whom was struggling, stuck under the last raider alive, He put all his strength into stopping the knife that was currently threatening to stab his throat.

Once you got a few meters away from the scene, you stopped and lifted the shot gun. Your vision was blurry but you had to do it, you had to help Joel. Gathering all the strength you had left and taking one last short breath, you shot the raider in the arm, hurting him just enough so that Joel could get back on top of him, steal his knife and cut his throat.

But your brain had reached its limits, you fell to the ground, desperately tucking your binder in a last desperate attempt at breathing,you just needed a little more air. Joel, instantly worried about you, ran to your side and picked up your head, laying it on his legs.

“Are you okay?! Fuck Y/N are you hurt!?” Joel asked you in a grave voice.

“Hm Hm, yeah, I’m fine, I just need to catch my breath” You whispered, your eyes were closed. You were focused on trying to breathe through your stomach.

“Y/N look at me, you don’t seem fine”Joel said. You could sense the panic in his voice although it was steady.

“I- I ... I can’t breathe, give me a minute please”You said, your voice cracking up with each word.

“Why? Why Y/N ? let me see”With his words Joel went to lift up your shirt but you quickly stopped him, your eyes now open and looking right at him.

“NO! No... Please, Joel, Don’t...”You struggled to breathe. “Don’t look.”

“Y/N please, I need to know what’s wrong.”

Your head was spinning, your eyes were in his. Not knowing what was happening anymore, you decided to tell him. You knew you would have to say it someday, well today was the day, right there, hardly breathing in his arms.

“I’m just, I’m... I’m wearing a binder Joel...” You waited but he didn’t say anything, of course he didn’t understand what you meant. “I’m trans, Joel. I’m wearing a binder, to compress my chest.”

“Okay”He simply said.

“Yeah, just give me a few minutes”You repeated, very nervous.

You and Joel stayed like that, your head on his lap, in complete silence for a few minutes. His gaze alternated between you and the streets, checking for any danger. Yours was fixed on him, still waiting for him to say something, anything. Finally, after what felt like forever, you breath steadied and your head stopped spinning.

“I’m sorry”You said suddenly.

“For what?”Joel replied.

“For what I said, for fainting, for who I am...”You started crying.

“Hey, it’s okay kid. I can’t force you take off that thing. It seems important to you” Joel assumed respectfully.

“It is, it really is” You quickly noted.

“And if it stops your breathing obviously it’s gonna make you faint,it’s fine,just be careful, you won’t have to save my ass next time hopefully.” He laughed a bit at the end. “And never apologise for who you are kid, you do you, I respect that”

“But, But it’s not normal, I’m not normal Joel.. I-I hate myself and I hate my body, and I hate how I have to wear this binder to feel like myself while it kills me slowly and put us in danger. Fuck, I’m so sorry Joel”You are left sobbing on his lap, turning to hide your face.

Joel lifted you and hugged you tightly. One of his hand in your hair caressing it to sooth you.

“shhh, it’s okay, you’re just a kid you’ll be fine, we’ll be fine. You are you and it’s all that matters. I am not mad at you. I just want you to know I see you as you and nothing else, this thing or not I don’t care. What I care about is you, and I'm sure if your chest really bothers you we can find a doctor that can do something about it. It’s okay kid” He declared.

“Thank you, thank you so much Joel” You continued crying, but were relieved.

“It’s okay, now let’s get going, it’s not safe to stay out there”He reminded you.

Eventually Joel let go off you and helped you get up. He smiled softly at you before taking the shotgun and walking back the car. You had had enough action for today.

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!Reminder that english is not my first language, be kind in the comments!

#joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller x reader #the last of us #the last of us x reader #coming-out fic #self-hatred #internalized transphobia #comfort #dad!joel miller #teen!reader #be safe with binders #yes even in the apocalypse #x gender neutral reader #afab reader #x reader

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the-killer-queenie · 3 years

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Good Impression (Tommi Lalli x reader)

Inspired by this video and by suggestions of a couple of anons, I presented you all this Tommi/reader fic

Words: 1438

English is not my native language so sorry for the mistakes/typos you might found.

Note: for the sake of the story, let’s pretend Tommi lives in Helsinki and not in Oulu.

Hope y'all enjoy it!☺️

Tommi’s parents have invited you to spend the weekend at their house since it was going to be Tommi’s grandma's birthday and there would be a family reunion to celebrate it back in Oulu.

You hadn’t really ever left Helsinki or its surroundings, your work and studies tying you to the capital, so you were pretty excited to have this mini road trip all the way up to Tommi’s natal city and to get to know his family. It wasn’t exactly a “meet the parents” situation, since you’ve already met them one time when they were in the city visiting Tommi. So you weren’t extremely nervous although the usual bad scenarios popped up in your mind from time to time.

The night before leaving, you were sitting on the floor of your shared bedroom, still trying to pack your bag. Tommi was on his phone, already laying in bed, since you planned on leaving early in the morning.

“Babe, which blouse should I take, this green one or the black one?” you asked, showing both options to him.

“I’d much prefer you without one,” Tommi said without looking up from his phone.

“Always the tease,” you said as you decided on one of them and put it on your bag.

“Remember it’s only a weekend though and it won’t be that fancy of an event…”

“I know, but I just want to make sure I leave a good impression,” you replied as you closed your bag, deciding you already had everything you’ll need for the weekend.

Having finished packing, you crawled into bed next to Tommi, who left his phone on the nightstand and wrapped his arm around you.

“There’s no way you won’t be leaving nothing but a good impression, prinsessa” Tommi whispered in your ear as you drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, you woke up to an empty space next to you and to sounds coming from the kitchen. Someone was not wasting any time. After having some quick breakfast Tommi had prepared and loading your bags in the trunk of the car, you were ready to leave.

“Ready kulta?” Tommi asked as he put his sunglasses on.

“Ready Tommi-bear.” you answered as you opened the music app on your phone. You have spent the week prior crafting a playlist to blast through the road trip. It had some of yours and Tommi’s favourite songs plus some duet worthy songs, since you weren’t oblivious of the fact that Tommi had a beautiful voice. So of course you didn’t waste any chance you got of hearing it.

“Ok, here we go,” he said as you pressed shuffle on the playlist.

The first song that came through the car’s speakers was Dancing Queen by ABBA. Tommi chuckled. “I thought you made the playlist, not Aleksi,” he ironically said, commenting on how the dark haired DJ plays that song on concerts, soundchecks and pretty much whenever he gets the chance.

“Hey, it’s a good song.” you said and started singing along. Tommi smiled and eventually joined in.

After a couple of duets passed by, you suddenly shut up, leaving Tommi singing on his own. He didn’t realise it wasn’t a duet anymore until a couple of minutes later, when he turned his sight from the road to you, who were softly smiling at him.

“What?” Tommi asked, and you could swear he slightly blushed.

“You should sing more often, you know?”

“Oh shut up,”

“I really mean it! Maybe I should text Niko or Joel…”

You told him how his voice was really lovely and soothing but he just brushed it off, although you could see a little smirk growing on his face.

The ride went really well and smoothly. You both chatted about everything and nothing, music playing on the back as you made sure to get some chill songs besides the karaoke worthy ones.

Since Tommi had made the road countless times, mostly because of Blind Channel gigs, he recounted some funny stories with the boys as some places you were driving though made him remember about them. Of course, the anecdotes were nothing but pure Blind Channel chaos which had you laughing up to the point of crying.

Speaking of Blind Channel, you had thrown into the mix one or two of their songs so when they came into the shuffle, you headbanged like there wasn’t a tomorrow and randomly played air drums, trying to copy Tommi’s moves when on stage, which made him laugh out loud.

“Maybe I could give you some drum lessons when we go back,” he said while tapping his fingers to the beat of the song.

You bit your lip. The image of you sitting on his lap while giving you drum lessons presented you with thousands of thoughts that you decided to keep for yourself, at least until you got back to your apartment back in Helsinki.

As you were getting closer to Oulu, you asked Tommi who he thought would be at his grandma’s party. Tommi started listing an incredible number of people, describing them and telling how they were related. Basically giving you a sort of brief of his family. But as the list grew, your nerves too started to rise up.

You passed through a sign telling you were now entering Oulu and you became quieter and started mindlessly tapping your foot. Tommi noticed the sudden change of the atmosphere.

“Hey, you’re gonna make a hole on the car’s floor if you keep with the tapping,” he said, trying to bring up the lively spirit again.

You giggle and stop with the tapping, but remained silent while looking at the passing scenery through the window.

“Nervous?” Tommi asked.

“Yeah, I guess... I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited to meet your family but at the same time there’s this voice in my head sort of panicking and questioning ``what if they don’t like me?´´” you confessed to him.

“Well, then I guess I’ll have to cut ties with them if they don’t like you,” he replied with a straight face.

You gave Tommi a playful punch on his arm.

“No, but in all seriousness, I can’t think of a simple reason they won’t like you. You know, I haven’t told you this but my parents didn’t do anything but praise you after meeting you. And I’m sure they already passed on their stamp of approval to the rest of the family,” he reassured you.

Tommi’s words comforted you and made you relax a little. You turned up the music and tried to enjoy the last couple of kilometres you got left of the trip.

You finally arrived at Tommi’s parents house, who were waiting for you on the porch. They greeted you both and asked how the trip was. But before you could answer, an old lady came out of the house, calling Tommi’s name. It was his grandmother. You recognized her from some family photos Tommi had shown you ahead of the trip. She made her way up to where you were all standing and you couldn’t help but melt at the sight of the height difference between her and Tommi when she went for a hug.

“So you’re the young lady that stole my Tommi,” the woman said as she turned around to look at you. You gulped, not sure if she was being serious or just messing with you. She must have seen the panic in your face as she clarified with a laugh, “I’m only joking. For what I see, he’s actually the lucky one,” she said with a warm smile. You blushed at the woman’s words and thanked her while allowing yourself to loosen up a little.

Tommi’s mum invited you to come into the house, since she had prepared something for both of you to eat after the long journey. As Tommi took out your bags from the car, the old lady intertwined her arm with yours and slowly began walking towards the house.

“Now, we have many things to chat about that grandson of mine. Like, have you noticed his nose…” she started saying, lowering her voice as if it were a confidence only you were allowed to hear.

“Ei, mummo, not again…” Tommi groaned, interrupting her while escorting both of you on the way into the house.

You just giggled and continued to listen to the old lady’s complaints of his grandson's features. You might disagree with her on that but as you start approaching the house, you started to feel at ease and though to yourself that it will be a fun weekend.

Ei, mummo = No, grandma (thanks duolingo)

yeah, sorry if the end sucked but I really wanted to make the reference to the q&a video.

#tommi lalli #tommi lalli x reader #blind channel #anto (apparently) writes?

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layce2015 · 4 years

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The Last of Us Part 2 (Joel Miller x Reader)

What If I Followed The Game's Story (Joel's Death) pt. 2

(A/N: Here's the conclusion of what if I followed the game's story and Joel dies. Also Lev still doesn't exist in this story so when Abby almost killed Dina, Ellie tells her that Dina is pregnant and Abby pauses and thinks it over then tosses Dina to the side and tells Ellie that she doesn't want to see her again)

What if Joel Died pt1

It had been weeks since Ellie and Dina left to Seattle, to settle the score on those WLF bastards. Even though a part of me hated myself for not going with Ellie, I was still glad that I stayed with Aiden and Ethan. Hell, I found out a day after Dina and Ellie left, Jesse went after them.

The boys were very devastated about losing Joel and it was so hard to explain to them that they were never gonna see their dad again. I don't know how many times throughout the nights of these last few weeks, I have heard both of them call out for Joel in their sleep only to wake up and realize he's not there.

All I can do is just hold them and try to calm them down as best as I could.

They were also worried about Ellie and Tommy, wondering if they were gonna come back. I told them that they will it just might be awhile.

Well, that day finally came.

I took the boys to Joel's grave and I just let them talk to his grave, almost like he was still here. Then they would set some drawings, they drew of him, on his grave and I would begin to cry then start to fiddle with Joel's wedding band that I had on a chain around my neck. They talked to the grave when I heard what sounded like shouting.

Suspicious and curiosity got my attention and I grabbed the boys hands and told them we might need to go. We walked out of the cemetery when Maria comes up to me, looking winded. "(Y/N)..." She said. "What's wrong?" I asked her. "They're back. Tommy, Dina and Ellie. They're back." She said and my eyes widen at this then all of us start to run towards the front gate.

We make it over there and I see Dina, Ellie and Tommy, all of them looked like shit. Dina looked bruised and scratched up in the face but otherwise she looked alright. Ellie had her right arm in a sling, which told me it was broken. And Tommy was worse as he had a patch over his eye and a bandage around his right leg.

Maria runs over to Tommy while Aiden and Ethan run to Ellie and hug her. "Hey..." she said, weakly, to them as she kneels down and hugs them back with her good arm. I go over to her and she looks up at me and stands.

I give her a worried look as she looks disappointed. "I-I tried, (y/n). I really tried but....she...she...got away." Ellie stampers but I go to her and embrace her. "The most important thing is you're alive." I tell her and she starts to sniffle and cry in my shoulder. "It's okay, babygirl." I whispered to her, softly, as I hug her then the boys come up to us.

"Where's Jesse?" I asked Ellie as I look around. She looks up at me with this sad look then looks down. "No..." I said, sadly, then we get down on our knees and get into a group hug, and I hold on to what's left of my family.

2 Years Later

Ethan was sitting on the couch, strumming the guitar, while I was sitting on the couch next to Ethan, helping him to practice his guitar. "Darn it." Ethan grumbles, after messing up a note. "Hey, you'll get it, honey." I assured him.

He sighs and starts to replay the notes again and got it right. "See? There you go!" I said to him and he smirks a bit. "I just hope I get as good as Ellie....and dad." Ethan said and I give him an encouraging smile. "Oh you will. You just gotta practice and build up your callous." I said and Ethan nods. "That's what Ellie said." He said as he looks down at his little fingers.

Then I look over at Aiden to see him drawing in his notebook. "Whatcha doing, honey?" I asked him. "Drawing." He replied then he picks holds up his notebook and walks over to me. "Oh, what did you draw?" I asked and Aiden hands it to me and my jaw drops a bit.

It was a drawing of a house and six people standing in front of it, all of them smiling. Two little boys, a young girl, an older girl and a man and a woman. "I drew our family. See? That's me and Ethan..." Aiden said as he points at the two boys. "And that's Ellie..." he points at the older looking girl. "And that's Sarah..." he points at the younger girl. "And that's you and daddy." He said as he points at the man and the woman.

Tears form in my eyes and I place my hand over my mouth. "Oh, Aiden...this is wonderful." I said, tearfully, and Aiden smiles a bit then hugs me. "I miss Daddy." Ethan mutters and I look over at him and hold my hand out to him. He sets his guitar down then comes over to me and the three of us hug.

"Me too." Aiden said and tears run down my face. "Don't worry, my darlings'. I miss him too." I said to them as we break the hug. "Why did he die?" Ethan asked me. "I'm not sure, sweetheart." I said, sighing a bit. "Ellie said that it had something to do with some job you and daddy did a few years back." Aiden said and I look over at them then darted my eyes away from them then I sighed. "What you boys need to understand is..."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and I look towards the door. I walk over to the door, open it and see that it was Tommy. "Hey, Tommy." I greeted. "Hey...can I come in?" He asked me and I nod then opened the door wider for him.

He walks in and Aiden and Ethan walks out into the hallway. "Uncle Tommy!" The boys shouted and they run to him and hug him. "Hey boys. How are you doin'?" Tommy asked them. "Good." They said.

"So, what's up, Tommy?" I asked as he breaks the embrace and turns to me. "I need to talk to you, privately." He said and I nod. "Uh, boys...go upstairs to your rooms." I said. "Okay, mommy." The boys said and Ethan grabs his guitar and Aiden picks up his notebook and they head upstairs.

Tommy and I exchange a look before I lead him to the kitchen area and we sit down in the chairs. "You doing alright?" I asked him. "Yeah, yeah, I'm...fine." he said. "And Maria? She doing good?" I asked. "Yeah, she's fine. We're..." he stops and scratches at his chest, uncomfortably. "We're actually taking some time apart." He said and my eyes widen at this.

"Tommy, I'm...I'm so sorry." I said, apologetically, but he just waves, vaguely, at me. "Nah, we talked about it a lot, so, uh, it's what we both want." Tommy said and I give him a sympathetic look. "You want me to go talk to her?" I asked. "No, no, no...it's fine. But that's not why I'm here. I got something to show you." He said and he starts to pull out a map.

"So I've been putting out feelers for months now. And this new guy heard my story. He told me about a woman that he traded with while he was moving through California. Described her as built like an ox." said Tommy and my eyes widen at this then he points along the map. "He said she's living along the coast in a beach sailboat....right here." He said as he points at a part on California. I lean in and see he was pointing at Santa Barbara.

"That's gotta be her." He said then he and I share a look and I start to feel this anger, that I had buried for the last two years, start to rise within me. I let out a heavy sigh before I speak up.

"You haven't told Ellie yet, have you?" I asked him. "No. Once I found out about this, I came straight to you." said Tommy and I nod. "Good." I muttered then I take some deep breathes and let them out.

"I'll go." I said and Tomny gave me a concerned look. "By yourself?" He asked and I nod. "What about Ellie?" He asked me. "She's been through enough. She's out there living the rest life with Dina and J.J." I said.

"What about Ethan and Aiden?" Tommy asked me. "I can handle it. You and Ellie have said that Abby has been wanting me to come out and face her. Well...I'm done with hiding from her. And I'll make her regret that she wanted to see me." I said, firmly, and Tommy nods. "Okay, if you say so." He said then he stands up.

"You want me to watch over the boys?" Tommy asked me and I nod. "Okay. And Ellie?" He asked and I sighed. "You can tell her if you want or make something up, I don't care. Just make sure to tell her that this is what I wanted." I tell him. "Okay. I'll let you get ready." He said and I nod.

I head up the stairs and head into my bedroom and start to pack up clothes and weapons for the trip when I look over at the dresser and see the familiar broken watch. I go to grab it and look at it, sadly. I run my thumb over the broken face of the watch when a voice asked. "Are you leaving?"

I turn around and see that it was Ethan at the door. "Yes, baby. Uh, Uncle Tommy has a job for me to do." I said. "When will you been back?" He asked. "I'm not sure. This job could take awhile. Maybe weeks." I said and he gives me a sad look. "I don't want you to die, Mommy." He starts to cry then I kneel down and place a hand on his shoulder. "I won't. I promise you that, okay?" I said and he nods at me.

After packing up some stuff and saying goodbye to my sons, I grab a horse and started to head out and make my way to Santa Barbara.

2 Months Later

I had found the sailboat that Abby was residing in, but she wasn't in it. I look through her things and found a list of addresses and notes. "Where did you go to?" I muttered as I look over the crossed out addresses until I noticed one that wasn't crossed off.

2425 Constance

Then I look through the map of California to cross reference it with the address and found it. "Gotcha." I muttered and I put the map back into my bag and made my way out of the boat and into the beautiful beach.

I jumped down onto the sand and rolled up the sleeves of the green flannel shirt I was wearing, that was obviously too big for me but I didn't care. It still smelled liked him and, strangely, it felt like he was still with me. I look around, trying to figure out how Abby got to the road, until I saw some broken down stairs and made my way there.

I made my way through this neighborhood and squeezed through a gap of a couple of vehicles when I heard a snap and I was yanked up into the air. I screamed and my bag flew off of my back as the rope, which had grabbed my ankle, pulled me up and let me hang in the air.

"Shit." I growled as I started to swing and then I hit a tree, and felt this sharp pain in my side. I screamed in pain and put my hand to my side and felt something warm. I pull my hand back and saw that it was blood. "Fuckin' shit. So fuckin' stupid." I growled in pain and I tried to find any way to get out but nothing.

The blood on my wound started to pour out and I felt myself losing consciousness until I finally closed my eyes.

Eventually, I opened my eyes and see two figures coming towards me, one of them looked very large. "Abby." I whispered. "Abby." I said alittle louder when I didn't get a response. "Is that you?" I asked but then I realized it was two men walking towards me.

"See? We got a live one." The larger man said to the smaller man and both of them look up at me. "This bitch is fucked up." The smaller man said as they walk closer to me.

The larger man cuts the rope and I fall down to the ground and land on my injured side. I groan and yelp in pain as the smaller man said. "We'll be lucky if she lasts a month." And he unties the rope from around my ankle then turns to his friend. "Can we please just say we're done for the day?" He asked as he backs up and stretches.

"Yeah, yeah. Get that thing down and we'll reset the traps." The larger man said as he walks up to me and kicks me over so I'd be laying on my front instead of my back. "Really, man? I mean, is she worth the trip back? It's not like--" the smaller man started to say but then a loud clicking noise sounded out. The man jumped and screamed as he turned around and saw a Clicker was caught in one of their traps as well.

"Did it get you?" The larger man asked him as the second guy checks his arm, frantically. "No, no...I'm good. I'm good." He said, relieved, and I started laughing.

"Something funny?" The smaller man asked me. "Looks like you shit your pants." I said to him. "The fuck you say?" The man asked me and I start to laugh again. "What a little bitch." I spat. "Oh, you like funny, huh?" The man asked me and he grabs my arm and starts to pull me up to my feet.

"Come on, we don't need this." The larger man said but his friend shook his head. "No way, man. She's fucked up, anyway, come on." The second guy said and he was able to yank me up to my feet. "Please, don't..." I pleaded but he started to drag me closer to the Clicker. "Yeah, it's funny, huh?" He asked me, sarcastically, and he tries to grab my arm but I stomp on his foot then I elbow him in the stomach.

He groans in pain then I grab him and fling him towards the Clicker then it grabs him and bites him. "Holy shit!" The larger man said and he starts to pull out his gun but I take the gun away from his dead friend and shot the larger man in the kneecaps.

The man falls back and I started to walk towards him, gun aiming for him. "Whoa, whoa, you said Abby, right?" He asked, panicked, and I stopped but still had the gun aimed at him. "You're looking for an Abby, right? We picked one up a couple months ago." He said, quickly. "Yeah, sure." I growled and started to place my finger in the trigger.

"No, no, no. Big girl. Blonde? Arms like mine." He said as he points out his muscular arms. My eyes widen a bit and he nods. "Yeah, yeah that's her. You let me go, I'll tell you where she is." He said in between his groans of pain and I glare at him.

"Talk." I commanded, coldly.

"She's in a holding cell in our camp." He replied. "Where's that?" I asked. "Head that way til you hit the railroad track. That'll lead you to a resort." He replied as he points behind me. "We keep 'em in a tall, round building." He said and I turn behind me to look towards the direction he pointed then back at him.

"I swear." He said, desperately, and I glared at him then I looked towards the Clicker that was still alive, hanging by its ankle, the other guy had fallen over dead. I go and grab my stuff, walk over to the rope and untie it, letting the Clicker fall. Then I aimed the gun towards the larger guy's direction and started firing, catching the Clicker's attention.

"What are you doing? What are you--?" The guy asked me, panicked, and I start to walk away while I hear the Clicker go towards the man and hear his screams of pain as the Clicker kills him.

After cleaning and sewing up my wound, I make it to the railroad track and climb up in top of one of the train cars and found the tall round building that asshole talked about. And it seemed that these group of people were herding other people inside their compound, all of them were chained together.

"Oh God." I muttered and I start to, quietly, make my way inside. After getting in, I see that they had some infected tied up, like a dog. Smart. I thought but then I go towards the latch. But also very dumb. I thought as I go and unlatch the infected and they start to run off into the camp.

Then I hear the people start freaking out as the infected attack, gunshots soon followed. And I did my best to make my way around these people and down to the building.

After making it inside, I barricade the door and make my way to the basement. I walk towards the cells when someone pops out and attacks me. We struggled for a bit and rolled towards a cell that was full of people. The woman was on top of me and I kick her towards the cell and a couple of people grabbed her and started to choke her out, killing her.

"I got the keys!" One guy exclaimed and he goes to open the cell door. The prisoners get out and go towards a locker, which held their weapons. I scan the crowd but couldn't find the woman that looked like the one in the picture Ellie showed me, that she got during her time in Seattle.

The prisoners started to run but I raised a hand to them. "Where's Abby?" I asked them. "She tried to escape. She's down in the pilars." One guy replied to me. "The pilars?" I said, confused. "Head down to the beach. You won't miss it. She's probably already dead." The man said and I nod and stepped aside for them. "Thank you." The guy said and he and the others run off while I head down the hall and towards the door.

As the gunshots of the war plays off into the distance, I make my way down to the beach and see what the guy was talking about. "Holy..." I mutterd in shock. These sick bastards had several people hanging from a pole by their wrists. Almost in a crucifixion manner.

I walk around the pilars and tried to find her. "Abby!" I called out then I heard a weak voice behind me. I turned around and see a woman, with short blonde hair, tied up to a pole. I walk closer to her as she said, weakly. "Please help me."

I take a good look at her face and realize that this was Abby, which she looked totally different in the picture. Seemed like she lost most of her muscles and she looked tired, probably dehydrated. I couldn't help but feel alittle bit of pity for her.

I sighed then pull out a shiv and cut her down from the pole. She groans in pain but gets up and looks over at me. "Thank you." She said, weakly, then she points towards the side. "There are boats this way." She said and she leads me towards the ocean where there were two old boats.

At this point, I wasn't for sure what to do. Do I go ahead and kill her or let her go? I mean, she's obviously been through hell from staying here and she looked weak. Plus I'm not in the best shape with this wound on my side. Is this right? Am I doing the right thing?

As we get to the boats, she goes to one and I go to the other and set my bag in it. I hissed in pain and placed my hand on my side and pull my hand back and see that it was covered in blood. As I stared at the blood, Joel's bashed up face flashed in my mind's eye and I clenched my fist in anger while I closed my eyes, tightly, at this.

I have to finish this.

I open my eyes and turn to her as she starts to untie her boat off of the post. "I can't let you leave." I said and she stops then turns to me. "What? I-I'm confused...why would you save me, if...." she started to say confused but I talk over her.

"A couple of years ago, you and your asshole friends came to a place called Jackson and you lured a couple of men. And you killed one of them." I said and she keeps giving me that confused look.

"How did you know...?"

"I'm (y/n) Miller." I growled and her eyes widen. "Yeah, you wanted me. Well, you got me." I spat. "Look I don't wanna fight you." She said but I shake my head at her. "Oh because you don't have a shotgun to blow my knees off and a golf club to bash my head in?!" I asked, angrily, then scoffed. "Sorry, I'm here whether you like it or not. You shouldn't have killed my husband!" I yelled at her.

"You and him took my father away from me!" Abby shouts and now it was my turn to be shocked. "What?" I said, confused. Ellie told me that they were former Fireflies but she said they were after us cause we took Ellie away. "Yeah, my father was the doctor at St Mary's." She said.

"So that's what this was about? It wasn't because we took the possible cure for mankind away?" I asked. "Partially. But mostly because you and your fuckin' husband took my dad away." She growls.

"And you took my sons' father away from them!" I spat at her and she looks shocked by this. "Yeah, should've thought of that. You should've stayed the fuck outta Jackson!" I yelled. "I couldn't bear the idea of you and him alive and not suffer the consequences..." Abby said. "Funny...that's how I feel about you..." I growled and she glares at me. She growls then let's out a roar before she runs at me and knocks me down into the water.

The two of us struggle a bit until I grabbed my shiv and sliced at her. She backs off of me then I get up and stabbed her in the arm. She cries out then I pull the shiv out and sliced at her stomach and she falls back.

I go at her but she gets up and pushes me back then she goes to punch me but I dodge her punch and sliced towards her. She grabs my arm and tries to fight it out of my hand but I spin her around and have the blade aim towards her throat, her back to my chest, and I try to stab her but she holds my arm back then elbows me in the stomach.

I yell in pain and let her go as I stumble back. She charges towards me but I hold my ground and we struggled a bit more before I slam her down into the ground. I hover over her and bring down the shiv towards her chest but she holds up my hand, preventing me to stab her.

I put all of my strength into my hands and was able to bring the shiv closer to her chest until it inserted into her skin. She cries out in pain then shoves the blade out of her chest, out of my hand and punches me across the face.

I fall over to the side then get up and the two of us began to throw punches at each other for a few moments until I got a good hit across her face. She falls in the water and, before she could get up, I kick her across the face. She falls back into the water and I get on top of her and begin to hold her down into the water.

She struggles and starts to fight but I punch her a few times in the face and wrap my hands around her neck, holdong her down. She begins flailing her legs but I place my knee on her hips, preventing her from flailing so much. She grabs at my arms but I continue to hold her down, tears started pouring down my face.

As I hold her down, flashes of the memories I had with Joel flashes in my mind.

The moment we met

Our first date

Our first kiss

The first time we said I love you to each other

The day he proposed

Our wedding day

The day we lost Sarah

The day we met Ellie and then got her out of that hospital

The day I told him that I was pregnant with Aiden and Ethan

And the one of the last things that came up was my last moments with him.

"I'll be back in a few hours." He said. "You better." I said and Joel chuckles before he comes up to me, leans down and kisses me. "Please be careful." I whispered to him. "Always." He mutters then gives me a quick kiss on the lips again before he walks over to his brother. "Hey." I said and he turns to me. "I love you." I said and he smiles. "Love you, too." He said and I smiled as he goes over to Tommy.

Then the last thing that came into my mind was of him laying down next to me on our bed, smiling at me.

I let out a loud, angry cry and I squeezed Abby's throat tighter until she finally stopped moving and I could see, through the water, her eyes rolling back. I stand over her for a few more moments, making sure she was dead, and I finally let go of her neck then I began to cry and sob at this.

I fall on my side into the water and just let every emotions I had build up for the last two years out. Every sadness and every anger I had built up burst out of me as I curl up in a ball and hold myself.

Even though I'm relieved she's dead, why do I feel so...empty? So numb? Like this was all meant for nothing?

Few Weeks Later

"Holy shit! That's (y/n)! Get the gates open!" A voice shouted as I make it to the front gates of Jackson. The large doors open and I slowly walk through them and I give a wave towards the people that opened the doors. I hear then shout some sort've command but I ignore them and start to make my way to my house.

I walk towards the front door, open it, enter through the door and shut it just as I hear footsteps and two little heads peek around the doorway of the living room. "MOMMY!" Aiden and Ethan shouted, happily, and they run to me. I kneel down and opened my arms and they run into my embrace and I hug them, tightly.

"Hey, my darlings." I whispered then I heard another set of footsteps. I look up and see that it was Ellie. "(Y/n)..." she said, shocked, and I smile a bit at her. "Hey, babygirl." I said as I pull out of the boys embrace then stand up.

Ellie runs to me and hugs me and I wrap my arms around her. "I-I was so scared." She whispered and she pulls back to look at me. "What are you doing here?" I asked. "Tommy told me what you were doing and that you wanted me to stay behind. So I thought I could help him watch the boys while you were gone." She said and I give her a concerned look.

"What about Dina and J.J.?" I asked her. "Dina was fine with this. She understood. Tommy is supposed to be back here in a few and then I was supposed to head back home. But since you're back..." she said and my lips twitched into a smirk.

"Sooo...did you..." she started to asked and I sigh. "I did." I replied. "And?" Ellie asked. "We don't have to worry about her anymore." I said in a cold voice and her eyes widen at this. "Oh." She said, realizing what I meant, and I nod.

"Still you should've had me come with you." She said, folding her arms across her chest. "I didn't want Tommy to disrupt your life. You deserve all the happiness you get, Ellie." I tell her. "But he could disrupt your life?" Ellie asked, angrily. "My life was already disrupted the moment I saw Joel's body at that cabin." I replied and she gives me a sad look.

I look down at the boys, who looked a bit sad, but I lean down and kiss their heads before I walk towards the dining area and sit down in a chair. I groan slightly at this and hold my side, Ellie took notice of this. "You okay?" She asked me. "Yeah, fine. Just still sore." I replied.

"Well, I'm glad you're not dead." Ellie said, giving a small smirk, and I chuckle. "Yeah, me too." I said. "H-H-How did it feel? When you...?" She asked and I look down as I try to think of my next words.

But then a knock at the door startled my thoughts and Ellie and I exchange looks. "I'll get it." She said and she gets up and heads to the front door. I hear voices then footsteps and Ellie and Tommy come in. "Oh thank God!" Tommy said, relieved, and I smiled at him. "Hey, Tommy." I greeted, softly, then he comes up, kneels down and hugs me and I hug him back.

"How did it go?" Tommy asked me as he takes a seat and Ellie takes the seat next to him, Aiden and Ethan sitting across from them. "I found her." I said, breathless, and Tommy looks at me. "And?" He asked me, the same manner that Ellie asked, and I sigh. "She's gone." I said then I look over to Ellie. "And to answer your question, Ellie...to be honest, I really don't know what to feel." I said and the two give me a confused look.

"When I killed Abby, it was like something took control over me and when the moment happened, I blacked out. But I would see flashes of Joel when it happened, like all of our time we spent together. And when I saw the life fade from her eyes, I felt...relieved and sad. I was glad that she won’t harm anymore people, that I love, ever again..." I stop and bite my lips and my hand starts to shake a bit.

"But I felt like I already lost. Losing Joel was the worst moment that has ever happened in my life...and now he won’t get the chance to see you and the boys grow up." I stopped then I place my hand on Joel's wedding ring, which was still around my neck, and fiddle with it as I start to choke up again.

I place my left hand over my face and begin to cry. I hear footsteps and felt arms around me and I set my hand down to see that Ellie and my sons had come over and hugged me while I felt Tommy's hand over mine. "I'm sorry." Tommy said as I continue to cry.

So I've become the bringer of death

A lover of life

The one who guards from the dark of the night

I'll be the hammer of war

Justice and mercy don't live side by side

So in retribution, I abide

I'll tip the scales to justice's end, but can it make amends?

#fandom #fanfic #fan fiction #reader insert #x reader #the last of us joel x reader #the last of us part 2 #the last of us imagine #the last of us #the last of us joel #joel x reader #joel imagine #joel miller x reader #joel miller

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megsblackfirewrites · 7 years

Text

The Beginning of a Legacy: Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Jack hid behind Tommy as the military man loaded their belongings into the back of his truck. His head was spinning. They were allowed to go home now. The omnics in the United States had surrendered and were being taken care of by the military. Everyone was being sent home, wherever home was.

Tammy was thanking the military man a lot, but Jack wasn’t sure if she was being honest or not. The man seemed to enjoy talking to Tammy, smiling and laughing at her corny jokes. It didn’t make Jack feel any safer, but if Tammy felt safe, he could pretend to be happy.

“Ready to go, kids?” the man asked.

“Uh huh,” Vanessa smiled at him.

“Okay, everyone into the truck. Tommy, help me get the kids into their booster-seats?” Tammy said.

“I will,” Tommy smiled. “Come on, Van.”

Vanessa whined as she let Tommy lift her into the booster-seat in the back of the truck. Jesse fussed as well, wiggling miserably as he was strapped into the backwards facing carseat. Tammy kissed his nose and laughed at his pout, but Jack could see that Jesse wasn’t really upset. Jack sat in the front between the adults, kicking his legs slowly. Tommy sat down between his siblings, smiling shyly at Tammy as she leaned back to tap Vanessa’s nose.

When they were all safely buckled in, the man started driving. They were quiet for most of the drive out of the forest. Vanessa sniffled about leaving Haven behind, but Tommy reassured her that it was going to be okay. They were going somewhere better, somewhere just as safe, but more private.

The military man didn’t say a word as they turned onto the highway. Vanessa’s mouth opened into an ‘o’ as she stared out the window. Jack blinked. That was right; Vanessa was just a baby when her family came to Haven. Tommy was the only one old enough to know what a highway looked like.

The drive was long and Jack fell asleep against Tammy’s shoulder. He woke in the middle of the night to the sound of tires on gravel. He blinked his eyes open and stared at the miles and miles of bare farmland. There wasn’t a green steam anywhere in sight. It was nothing like he remembered, with rolling, waving fields of corn, soy, and the occasional blanket of yellow canola.

“It’s dead,” he whispered.

“It’s okay, Jack,” Tammy reassured him. “It’ll be green again with a little elbow work.”

Jack nodded slowly as the vehicle turned up a familiar road. Jack leaned forward, his heart thumping in his chest. The vehicle barely came to a stop before he was scrambling over Tammy to get outside. He ran straight to the barn, wrenching the door open as hard as he could.

Cats scattered with yowls of surprise. He rushed inside, calling desperately for the tom that had loved him. A pair of green eyes stared at him from the darkness before Boots charged him and wound happily between his legs, yowling up at him.

“I missed you too,” Jack sobbed as he knelt down and hugged the tom cat. “My Bootsie.”

Boots purred up at him before gently grabbing his sleeve with his teeth. He tugged Jack forward before darting into the shadows. Jack grinned as he followed, ignoring the confused shouts coming from outside. He wiggled between a couple of leaning boards and gasped at the pile of kittens curled up beside a beautiful tortoiseshell molly. She looked at him sharply for daring to enter her nest, but relaxed as Boots licked her ears.

“Aw, Boots,” Jack smiled as he knelt down. “They’re adorable!”

“Jack?” Vanessa called. “Where’d you go? Tammy’s really worried!”

“In here,” Jack called. “My tom has kittens!”

“What?”

It took a few minutes for Vanessa to find him, but she let out a happy squeal as soon as she spotted the little mewling kittens. She dropped down beside Jack, staring at the molly with a big grin on her face, but wise enough to know not to touch them.

“There’s so many,” she whispered.

“I count six,” Jack laughed. “Hang on.”

He reached forward and carefully picked up a wiggling kitten. The molly watched him before resting her head so that the kittens could snuggle closer to her belly. Jack set the kitten in Vanessa’s hands and grinned widely as she cradled it to her chest.

“It’s so tiny,” she whispered. “Jack…Jack I want them all!”

“We’ll get to keep them,” he laughed. “They’re barn cats; they come and go as they please. Dad had a lot of them spayed and neutered before we left because they were starting to get inbred. He left Boots alone since he was young and all the others were fixed.”

“Oh,” she blinked before she side-eyed the molly. “So where’d she come from?” she asked.

“No idea,” Jack shrugged before he stood up. “You should put the kitten back now. You said Tammy was worried.”

“Oh, right,” Vanessa pouted before she set the kitten down. “Thank you, Penny.”

“Penny?” Jack asked as Vanessa stood up and dusted her knees off.

“Yah! She looks like a penny!” Vanessa grinned. “The momma cat.”

“Oh,” Jack laughed as he wiggled out from between the boards. “I thought you were talking about the kitten.”

“Nah, he’s clearly a Mint,” she giggled.

Jack laughed as they left the barn. Tammy was waiting on the porch for them, her eyes hard. She scolded him for running off on her and he apologized. She shooed them both inside and Jack led everyone up to his bedroom. They weren’t allowed to sleep on the bed until the military men had made sure there weren’t any vermin inside, so they had to sleep on air mattresses on the floor. Jack didn’t care.

He was home. He was finally home. All that was missing was his dad and Uncle Joel.

MZ-201 walked into Captain Morrison’s office and waited for him to acknowledge him. The Captain was busy with something, fiddling with the contraption on his desk before he let out a low curse and set the tablet down.

“Hello, M,” he greeted as he ran his hand through his hair. “What can I do for you?”

MZ-201 reset his voicebox and stepped forward carefully. “I…would like to request time off,” he whispered.

Morrison lifted his head and blinked at him. “Time off?” he asked.

MZ-201 nodded quickly. “Yes,” he said. “I wish to visit some…friends. I do not mean to leave you disadvantaged….”

He fell silent as Morrison lifted his hand. Morrison frowned and leaned forward on his desk.

“I know it’s none of my business, my friend, but where is it that you are hoping to go?” he asked.

“A small village in Italy,” he said softly. “Where the children from Cairo were sent. I…miss them.”

Morrison looked at him for a long moment before he smiled. “Oh, I see,” he said. “Well, I approve. I highly doubt that the higher ups will approve of me sending my omnic medic off on his own, so do you mind if I write it down as a mission? Checking on the health of the children sent to live in refugee villages or the likes?”

MZ-201 wished he could cry. He wished he could express to the Captain how much he appreciated this. So many people would have dismissed his request, told him that a robot did not need time off, and forced him to return to work. Not Morrison or Joel, though. They treated him like a person, like a valued member of the team even when others were insanely hostile.

“Thank you,” MZ-201 whispered as he started shaking. “Please, I…I wanted to tell you…if you do not mind….”

“M, what’s wrong?” Morrison asked as he got to his feet. “You’re shaking!”

“I am simply overwhelmed,” he whispered as Morrison walked over to him. “You and your team have been so good to me. I…I do not know what to say.”

“You’re a valuable member of the team, M,” Morrison smiled. “I would be personally offended if anyone treated you less than cordially.”

“There are so many people in this world that would treat me poorly, but not you,” MZ-201 shook his head. “I wanted you to be the first to know, you and Joel, that I have found my name.”

“Oh?” Morrison smiled. “And what is it, my friend?”

“Mondatta,” he inclined his head. “I have yet to decide on a family name. I want it to be important.”

“A lot of surnames translate into ‘son of someone’,” Morrison chuckled. “Mondatta. I’ll make sure to update your profile.”

“Thank you,” Mondatta whimpered as he started bowing his head like he’d seen Miyu do when she was overwhelmed. “Thank you so much.”

“Think nothing of it, my friend,” Morrison smiled. “Go find Joel and tell him your name. He’ll be excited. I’ll get your ‘mission’ set up so you can go visit those kids.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Mondatta smiled.

It was almost a week before Mondatta was on the dropship to Italy with Staff Sergeant McGuire and Laura Wong. The two of them were seated a short distance from him and talking amongst themselves. Mondatta didn’t mind. He was more focused on the paperwork that he had to fill out in order to justify the unexpected trip. John could only fake so much before Mondatta himself had to jump in.

“So, Mondatta,” Laura said as she turned to look at him. “Jasper and I were wondering how you know the kids from Cairo. Did you work with them at the hospital?”

“No,” Mondatta shook his head. “There was a time between the god code activating and my acceptance onto the Overwatch Strike Team where I lived and protected the street children that Captain Morrison sent to Italy. I miss them dearly.”

“That’s so sweet,” Laura smiled. “Well, I’m sure they’ll be just fine. A little checkup and then a nice vacation for a week. Then it’s back to the front lines.”

Mondatta nodded and settled back against the seat. When they landed in the quiet little hamlet, McGuire led the way off the plane. The mayor of the little town greeted them warmly, but Mondatta could see the doubt and apprehension in his face as he looked Mondatta over. Hostility against omnics was nothing new, but he had hoped that the man would at least hide it better.

He followed the mayor towards the town hall. Laura and McGuire fell back, watching quietly as they walked into the hall. Silence filled the hall before someone let out a shriek.

“MZ!” Ana shouted as she rushed forward. “You’re okay!”

“I am,” Mondatta reassured her as he hugged her close. “You look well, Ana. This pleasant climate has done wonders for your health.”

“You always are worried about us, MZ,” she laughed as she pulled away. “What about you?”

“I am wonderful,” he nodded his head. “Captain Morrison is an amazing man. I owe him so much.”

“I’m so glad,” she smiled. “I plan on joining up as soon as I can,” she puffed her chest out.

“You will have to wait to be legal age; Captain Morrison does not like fighting with child soldiers,” Mondatta chuckled. “He has a hard enough time with Reinhardt. But that is a discussion for another time. Come. Help me get our friends ready for their medical exams. I want to make sure everyone is alright.”

“You got it,” Ana grinned before she took his hand. “It’s so good to have you back. You call yourself Mondatta now, right?”

“I do,” he agreed. “But you may continue to call me MZ if you wish.”

“You’re Mondatta; it would be rude to call you otherwise,” she replied.

Mondatta dimmed his optics in a smile. He’d missed Ana’s spirit. There was a life and power about her that he had always loved. He never had a word for it, but he hoped that she knew it was there. It would be a shame if she did not.

Joel smiled at the screen as Vanessa tried to get the kittens to stop squirming. “She had six!” she babbled happily. “Jack says that they’ll probably stay on the farm their whole life! Can you believe it, Pa?”

“Well, feral cats are funny that way,” he said. “You’re helping that momma cat out?”

“Yup! She loves me! She hisses at everyone else but purrs when I pet her,” Vanessa grinned widely. “And Boots loves me too, but Jack says that’s normal. Even though he’s a big, mean tom, he’s super loving! I can’t wait for you to meet them all, Pa!”

“I can’t wait either,” Joel nodded. “Yer bein’ good for Tammy?”

“Uh huh,” Vanessa grinned. “School’s supposed to start up in a few weeks. Tammy has me signed up and everythin’! I get to ride a bus to Bloomin’ton with Jack and Tommy! Isn’t that cool?”

“It is,” Joel said. “I’m glad yer lookin’ forward to it, Birdie.”

Joel had forgotten how simple things amazed children. Vanessa had only seen school buses in books; she was excited over the prospect of riding in one. She’d love school too, he knew that much. She was such a smart kid. He wished he was there for her first day, but Tammy would have to do. She’d be there for the kids when they needed her.

“Pa, is it true that Uncle John has a boyfriend?” Vanessa asked.

“Now where’d you hear that?” Joel smirked.

“From Jack!”

“Well, he needs to learn not to tell you everythin’,” he winked. “That’s up to ye uncle to tell you if he has a boyfriend or not.”

“Aw, but Pa!” Vanessa whined.

“Van, do we whine?” Joel lifted an eyebrow

“Yes,” she grinned before Tommy sat down beside her with Jesse on his lap. “Oh! Jesse! Here, hold Rosie. Watch her head. Yup, just like that.”

Joel’s heart melted as Jesse held the kitten to his chest like it was the most precious thing in creation. He placed a gentle kiss to the kitten’s red tabby head and grinned at the screen.

“Pa!” he shouted and waved. “Pa! Pa!”

“Hey, Jesse,” Joel cooed. “How’s my little baby doin’?”

“Goo!” Jesse bounced on Tommy’s lap.

“He’s havin’ a hard time with his hard letter sounds,” Tommy said. “Tammy says that’s normal for someone his age. Is it?”

“It is,” Joel agreed. “Y’all had a hard time with yer hard consonant sounds. He’ll get it, don’t worry.”

Tommy smiled before he bit his lip. “I’m really nervous about school. Do you think I’ll make friends?”

Joel nodded. “Yer a sweet kid, Tommy,” he said. “I’m sure you’ll make a friend or two. Don’t be afraid, okay?”

Tommy nodded. “Is Uncle John there?” he asked.

“No; he’s in a meetin’ with the higher ups,” Joel shook his head. “Got a deployment comin’ up soon. Gunna be hard. Gotta get down to the horn-a Africa as soon as possible. Loads-a omnics makin’ a push into the countryside.”

“Be careful, Pa,” Vanessa whimpered.

“I will, mah darlin’,” Joel reassured her. “Now, you three get to bed. Tammy got that recordin’ I made ya?” They nodded. “Good. Play that if yer havin’ a hard time sleepin’, okay? I know it ain’t the same as havin’ me right there, but a lullaby’s a lullaby.”

“Okay,” Tommy nodded. “Love you, Pa.”

“Love you too, Tommy. Vanessa, Jesse, Pa loves you all so much,” he smiled and blew kisses to his kids.

They waved as the screen went dark. Joel leaned back in his seat and rubbed at his neck, fighting back tears. Miyu rested a hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

“Your children are very sweet,” she said softly.

“My pride and joys,” Joel agreed. “Hurts bein’ away from them.”

“Hmm,” she mused as she took a seat. “I do not feel the same way with any but my nephews.”

“No desire to have yer own?” Joel asked.

“No,” she said. “At least, none with a partner. I am…uninterested.”

“Nothin’ wrong with that,” he smiled. “Bein’ a parent ain’t for everyone. Kinda wish they didn’t try to cram it down kids’ throats. Got the feelin’ my little Van’s in the same boat. Great with animal babies, but never wanted anything to do with the other babies at Haven. ‘Cept Jesse, o-course, but that’s her brother. Gotta stick with blood.”

Miyu smiled before she got to her feet and placed a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You are an amazing man, Joel McCree,” she said softly. “I’m sorry your partner was not what you needed.”

“No worries,” Joel smiled as he cupped her cheek. “Don’t need a lady at home to make me happy.”

“Could be a man,” she smirked as he pulled away.

“Told ya before, John ain’t my type,” Joel chuckled as he stood up and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his ratty jeans. “Just friends, the two of us.”

“Well, John has his sights set on Daiki anyways,” she teased. “Would be a shame to break them up.”

“It would; haven’t seen John that happy in a long time,” Joel agreed as they left the room. “Hope they can work it out.”

Miyu nodded her head. Her fingers laced loosely with his and he brought her hand up to his mouth to kiss her knuckles. He had no idea what was going on between them; he certainly didn’t feel romantically about her, but it felt right to have these intimate moments. She never pushed for more, so maybe she was content with this too. It would be easy to ask, but asking almost felt like it would break whatever was going on between them.

So they just walked down the hallway hand-in-hand, ignoring the smirks shot their way.

#Jack Morrison #Vanessa McCree #Mondatta #Joel McCree #Miyu Shimada #Thomas McCree #Jesse McCree #kittens #fluff

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