#Suicidal Mindset

[foxywrites]

at least the war is over (chapter one)

at least the war is over - chapter one || Prompt: Day 20 - reconnection

In meursault Dazai closes his eyes in his ex partners arms. Chuuya is dead-set on keeping him alive thoug-, he isn't letting him runaway this time, never again.

RATING; General Audiences

CHAPTER; 1/4

STORY WARNINGS; gory descriptions, suicidal mindset, dehumanization, descriptions of injuries, probably inaccurate medical treatment, Bungou Stray Dog’s Chapter 107 spoilers

FANDOM: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs

RELATIONSHIPS/PAIRINGS; Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), (can also be interpreted as Romantic), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Ensemble & Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Ensemble & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)

CHARACTERS; Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs)

ADDITIONAL TAGS; Dazai Osamu Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), Bungou Stray Dogs Chapter 107: In The Small Room part 3 section 1, Bungou Stray Dogs Chapter 107: In the Small Room Part 3 Section 1 Spoilers, Broken Bones, Suffering Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu Has a Bad Time (Bungou Stray Dogs), References to Depression, Dazai Osamu is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Caring Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Member Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Comatose Dazai Osamu, Dazai Osamu-centric (Bungou Stray Dogs)

BAD THINGS HAPPEN BINGO PROMPTS || @badthingshappenbingo

- Internal Bleeding

ANY FANDOM ANGST BINGO PROMPTS || @anyfandomangstbingo

- Free Space

ANY FANDOM DARK BINGO PROMPTS || @anyfandomdarkbingo

- Doesn't Realise They've Been Injured

#august writing challenge #AUgust 2023 #au gust 2023 #fandom: bungou stray dogs #ship: chuuya x dazai #ship: chuuya x osamu #ship: soukoku #trigger warnings : #gory descriptions #suicidal mindset #dehumanization #descriptions of injuries #probably inaccurate medical treatment #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bungou stray dogs dazai #soukoku #fanfic #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chūya #moodboard #chapter aesthetic #chapter moodboard #foxy's updates

[zeb-z]

There’s something so important about Gillion - who never heals himself, who rushes into danger, who hides his wounds- facing death and realizing he isn’t unafraid as he was raised to be. He uses his magic on himself to help with the exhaustion, to keep his life intact. And still he tries to comfort Jay and Chip while he’s coherent, being realistic about his chances but refusing to make it painful. Wanting their possible last moments to be light, to be about seemingly inconsequential things, small favorites that still mean the world to him purely because they’re Chip and Jay’s favorites. And then when all is said and done, he makes a raccoon for Jay. He talks about raspberries for Chip. He uses his last saved up arcane energy to try desperately to stay awake, and it works, and it saves him in the final hour.

It’s just. There’s something about how he hasn’t had a chance to rest since the Feywild, really, truly rest. How this whole time he’s been down on himself and taking extreme risks. And now, at what might be the end of it all, he realizes he doesn’t want to die. He wants to live. And not to be able to save others, not to fulfill his destiny, not out of obligation to anyone else - but purely for himself. For all the little things. And though it’s not quite healing in the literal term, his nearly final act was spent trying to save himself - and it worked.

#tw again for tags I’ll say and let me know if I gotta tag any more #but the past 30 episodes have been gillion tidestrider gets the shit beat out of him by the narrative #gillion tidestrider faces passive suicidality and faces old trauma and fresh new trauma #he goes through a shift of his foundation as a person he loses his sister the whole filipe thing and then this Curse #and he goes through with a mindset of ‘these problems exist because I do’ with some heavy implications behind that #it’s been getting easier and easier to choose his own destiny and break from expectations but it’s still not easy #but facing real death. slow and creeping and painful. he realizes he wants to live #not live because destiny demands it but because his friends do. because he does. because he wants to know more and share more of himself #I just. there’s something about all of it yknow #jrwi riptide 98 #jrwi 98 #jrwi #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #z speaks #at what point should I start tagging spoilers like. 100 maybe?

[blujaymi]

so...it seems like ruby wants to ascend to be like summer.

but given that it's been said that the tree and ascension are about "acceptance", i don't think ruby is really going to ascend in the traditional sense.

ruby's goal for herself and her identity has always been to "be like the heroes in the books".

and now we've seen how jaune has handled that mindset (hint: it wasn't a great way of thinking. ouch).

part of that identity has been centered around summer. she inherited her emblem. she inherited her silver eyes. she's always being compared to her, and she's been living in her mother's shadow—"super mom", the perfect hero.

Qrow: You're special the same way your mom was.

rather, that's the version of summer that ruby has held onto. she's trying to live up to an expectation that was never really set in the first place, because summer wasn't perfect.

Yang: Mom took a risk the day she left. And I don't think it went the way she wanted it to, but she's still my hero.

which—side tangent—i feel like is part of the reason yang didn't seem to notice just how far ruby was falling, so to speak.

yang doesn't see summer as such complete perfection, but she's still her hero.

Yang: It's not like we were asking her to be perfect.

and of course, she (and everyone but ruby herself, really) doesn't expect perfection from ruby either.

and don't get me wrong, yang still definitely idolizes summer—just in a different way from ruby. ruby's idolization of summer is much more...unhealthy. she feels like ruby rose is not enough, but that summer rose is.

Ruby: And it never, ever goes away. The feeling of not being...enough. The Blacksmith: And how would you measure...enough?

that being said, i'm getting the feeling that we may be getting some insight into summer, whether that be through some flashbacks of her failures, or maybe even how she died (i can only dream).

through that, i think ruby might be able to finally accept herself, because summer wasn't perfect either. ruby is not her, she's her own person.

and she's enough.

#yeah im so emo about this episode how could you tell? #also i feel like the idea of ruby ascending causing her to change into someone else in any way is kind of...backwards #especially with the suicidal implications of the tea drinking #i don't think it would sit well to me if her way of moving on from that was to 'become enough' as a different person through ascension #rather she needs to accept that she is already enough #maybe she'll get a cool new outfit though #possibly get a unique emblem reflecting her growth #or just get the old one back with a healthier mindset #im down for that #rwby #rwby9 #rwby spoilers #ruby rose #yang xiao long #summer rose

[lalalululoopsies]

Hahaha..fun..

Anyway I finished watching Hazbin hotel so yay

#wonyoung #pastel pink #pink bows #pretty bows #wonyoungism #black swan mindset #girlblogging #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #white swan mindset #art deco #black beauty #bambi doe #bambification #girl interrupted syndrome #this is what makes us girls #lana how i hate those guys #will you still love me when i’m no longer young or beautiful? #lana unreleased #ultraviolence #manic pixie dream girl #lizzy grant #girl interrupted #i’m just a girl #coquette dollete #diet cola #the virgin suicides #black swan #female manipulator #wlw post #wlw blog

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Just finished reading Pez Dispenser Debris (I don’t even go there but I am fueled by Wiki articles and a love for your storytelling) and first of all—amazing!!! 10/10, I think I need to watch this series now. 

Second, I  noticed that (while very much distinct) Yuuta & Izuku have a lot of similarities in the voice you gave them—maybe it’s the constant panic attacks or perhaps both of  them placing blame for everything squarely on their own shoulders, but ough it makes for the perfect blend of gut-punching angst. I’d love to hear any ramblings you currently have about either of them. I am currently obsessed with both of them now and am placing the blame on you <3

I’m gonna pretty heavily discuss some spoilers for my hero academia in this. I figured that was okay since you’d already read my fanfic and the wiki so the cat is out of the metaphorical bag. That being said, maybe wait to read this answer if you want to not be spoiled for more details in my hero.

Yuuta and Izuku absolutely have the most similar voices out of all of my narrators and it is 90% because they are both completely insane and in violent need of a Xanax and a nice soothing cup of chamomile tea. God I love them both so much. They should each be heavily medicated.

My hero academia is a pretty great watch through the Shie Hassaikai arc. The concept is entertaining, the characters are GREAT, and the world building is really cool.

Then the story sort of. Went to shit.

I tried for a while after that, but eventually had to stop watching. My friends and I have a group chat named “horikoshi just call us” because we got so despondent at the writing decisions after that arc.

Horikoshi. If you’re out there. If you’re reading this. Just call us. We just want to help.

That being said, my love for the characters maintains its death grip on me. I simply adore them. They’re delights.

Yuuta and Izuku, on their face, have a lot of similarities as protagonists. The aforementioned insanity and need of Xanax, of course, but the skeleton of the stories has a lot of common touchstones and themes, like:

Both characters have some kind of history with suicidal ideation or tendencies. In the second scene of JJK0, it’s established that Yuuta canonically tried to kill himself. In the first episode of BNHA, Izuku is told to kill himself by his bullies, in an act which appears to be common to izuku’s life, and the only reason Izuku comes up with to not do it is “then you’d get in trouble for telling me to do it.”

Both characters have severe self worth issues. Yuuta’s looking for a reason to be alive at the start of JJK0. He’s looking for a right to be alive. In a way, Izuku is too at the start of BNHA. At the open of action, he is told by everyone in his life that he is useless. His nickname is “Deku,” which uses some of the same kanji as “Dekunobo,” meaning blockhead. The most direct translation were given is that this is a way of calling him useless. He’s the powerless member of a society choked with superpower, and he’s been told his entire life that he can do nothing, that his dreams are pointless, and that he’s a burden who would be better off dead.

They’re both saddled with power they can’t fully control. Yuuta with Rika, and Izuku with One for All, a transferable power that’s too strong to be contained in his body.

They both have a close relationship with an impossibly strong mentor that they are implied to be the successor of. Yuuta with Gojo, as he’s second only to Gojo in the modern age, and Izuku with All Might (aka Toshinori Yaga), who he is more literally taking on the mantle of One for All from.

They both are chugging that Loving Their Friends Juice and have tried to kill grown men with their bare hands as a result

That all being said, they could not be more different characters and honestly aren’t all that similar.

I have this sort of lasting grievance with literary analysis when people take a list of common plot points or events and use them to make the argument that characters are similar or parallel one another. Like, that’s all facial. The real question is how do they substantively handle those events. How do their story arcs treat those things? How does their character react to them?

Yuuta and Izuku’s actual substantive characters don’t really react to those events in the same way at all. The analysis could go on all day in this respect, really, but the biggest difference is how their respective story arcs treat the cornerstone of their original conflicts.

Yuuta opens action with Rika as the cornerstone of his conflict. She’s who he wants to free, she’s who he’s chained to, and it’s her protection of him that makes him think he deserves to die. Izuku’s cornerstone, meanwhile, is his own Quirklessness. He desperately wants to be a hero, and everyone in his life tells him he can’t be because he is Quirkless. He’s useless because he’s Quirkless. He should kill himself because he’s Quirkless. He’s a burden and always will be because he’s Quirkless.

And while Yuuta’s arc reconciles him with his cornerstone, Izuku’s forgoes it entirely.

The story just. Forgets. That he’s Quirkless. They stop talking about it. It never comes up again. It doesn’t make any real big impact on his character or decisions. It’s one of my biggest axes to grind with how the story developed, and it’s actually one of the biggest reasons why I wrote pez dispenser debris.

Pez dispenser debris was actually inspired by this one piece of my hero academia art where Izuku is hugging his younger self. I don’t know if it was official art or fan art, and I have no idea where it is or where to find it because by god have I tried so I can find it and link it for credit/to boost it. I saw it literally years ago, thought “oh that’s cool,” wrote the original first scene of the fic (where Midoriya stops the bus and is hit by the Quirk), wasn’t feeling it, got distracted by other projects, went to law school, graduated law school, signed up to take the bar exam, and was suddenly electrified in the last fucking month of studying with this fugue state of feverish artistic inspiration. I have never written so easily or so compulsively in my life. I’d write for eight unbroken hours and it would be fucking magic every time. It was like an addiction. I was writhing with a need to create and had so much fucking anxiety about the test I was not studying for instead. The words could not be restrained.

Anyway I taught myself three subjects on the plane ride to the state I was taking it in and passed anyway so it’s fine we’re fine

The moral of the story is that this story has been cooking long enough for me to get two more diplomas than I had when I started it and I have no idea where to find that fucking piece of art that inspired it, but if I find it, I’ll reblog it so y’all can see it too.

The thing is, the narrative sort of forcibly excluding Izuku’s past as Quirkless would make total sense to me if it was used as something Izuku himself was doing.

Izuku necessarily had to hide the truth of his former Quirkless status at the start of action—he needed to keep the secret of One for All. Like, he could not let people find out that a Quirk was transferrable, but you know, just the most powerful one, and also he had it, please come torture it out of him.

But as the narrative goes on, that rationale becomes less important. He has people he can trust with it. And yeah, eventually One for All becomes more known, but the discussion is all about him being all might’s successor. Him being Quirkless and how that affected him and still affects him isn’t really discussed or treated as important. And Izuku doesn’t act like it’s important to him either. He never really thinks about it.

And I just hated that. Like. He spent almost his entire life as a member of society who was spit on. He’s had a Quirk for less than a year. How are his experiences with Quirklessness not important to how he interacts with the world?

The other point of contention I had was Mirio.

Mirio is this superstar of a senpai who takes Izuku under his wing. He has an extremely powerful quirk that’s only as effective as it is because he put in the work and learned how to handle it. He’s a perfect, eternally smiling paragon of heroism. He’s flagged early as the one out of everyone, including heroes with established careers, who is most likely to replace All Might.

He’s also the one who was supposed to get One for All.

His mentor had found him and trained him to be All Might’s successor. Before All Might could meet him, however, he found this feral raccoon child in a sewer and said “oh my god I can’t not offer him incomprehensible power within the first three hours of meeting him” and tripped face first into fatherhood.

During a rescue mission, Mirio loses his Quirk in a way that’s borderline irreversible. There’s no known cure, and the only possible one is dependent on a little girl learning how to control an extremely volatile and dangerous quirk and using it in a way she never has before.

So surely, they’re going to commit to that writing decision, right? He’s Quirkless. We’re bringing back having Quirkless characters. It’s going to be this sick as hell juxtaposition between Izuku and Mirio. We are at least going to force Izuku to reflect on his own times as Quirkless or have some kind of discussion about how Mirio is treated differently now that he is Quirkless.

But no. He gets his Quirk back by the next season. We don’t talk about it much. It’s more of a minor inconvenience than anything.

It’s almost as if the show accepted as an actual rule that you couldn’t be a hero without a Quirk. And then just. Forgot. Everything it had to do with its literal protagonist.

Anyway, I hated it.

In contrast, I fucking loved how yuuta’s storyline with Rika ends. That scene where Yuuta’s turning back to Rika, thanking her for loving him, telling him they can die together? I’m obsessed with it. I recently moved across the country and listened to that theme song on loop during the drive.

Yuuta and Rika’s love was unhealthy. They hurt each other. But it wasn’t malicious.

They just didn’t know how to love each other in a way that didn’t hurt.

They were in shit circumstances. But the love was there.

Yuuta felt guilty for Rika’s love for him and his for her almost the entire narrative. He thought he cursed her with his love. He wanted to kill himself because of how she hurt people out of love for him. It’s why I have moments in sea glass gardens where Yuuta talks about begging Rika to stop loving him—he didn’t know why love had to hurt so goddamn bad, and he’s sorry for that, he really is. He wishes he was better at it than he was.

At the end of JJK0, Yuuta truly is the last person who remembers Rika as she was and still loves her for who she is. He’s faced with Geto, who wants to use her as a weapon. Everyone treats her as a threat or a tool, except for Yuuta.

Like. Just that moment. Of loving someone so genuinely, and being the last one who does, and knowing that everyone else will just use them. I’m obsessed with it.

Yuuta reconciles with his love for Rika and her love for him, and they’re both finally freed. It’s this perfect moment of acceptance that I adore. He comes to terms with his past. It doesn’t hurt him so much anymore.

I wrote pez dispenser debris to sort of force Izuku to have that kind of reconciliation. As it is, he hasn’t reconciled with his own Quirklessness and how that affected him. I wanted to give him something he couldn’t physically escape and had to face.

#tw canon typical discussion of suicide #tw suicide #tw suicide baiting #pez dispenser debris #sea glass gardens #from a narrative voice perspective you are so so right #I tend to change my writing style a bit depending on who I’m writing #and Yuuta and Izuku I use VERY SIMILAR STYLES WITH #to the point where I reuse a lot of sentences between the two stories #I do shift my writing a bit #with Yuuta I tend to use shorter simpler sentences and have a lot of ‘distance’ in the sentences #I use a lot of ‘Yuuta thinks’ and ‘Yuuta feels’ when normally I would just cut to what he actually thinks and feels #like those are a lot of fucking words that aren’t the point. they’re dead weight in the sentence. most of the time they’re unnecessary #but I /want/ there to be that distance between the start of the sentence and the point because it gives more of a detached feel to the #writing and I think of Yuuta as a very detached narrator. he spent most of his life isolated and traumatised. the distance protects him. #he’s got space between him and the rest of the world. #I go off on way more asides with Izuku but that’s less because of a mindset I’m trying to build and more because it’s my silly fun story. I #wanted to write it ‘badly’ and break rules. I wanted the silly asides that have no affect on the story but existed in my head. I don’t let #myself do the same in sea glass gardens. #pez dispenser debris isn’t abandoned by the way I’m just burning myself out on sea glass gardens before I go back to it. I have to take #periodic breaks with stories and I’m trying to get through this one arc before I take one with sgg. that arcs the entire reason why I wrote #sgg to begin with actually. I have a LOT of stories that I /love/ that I never post because I know I only have so much time and there won’t #enough to finish them all. a story has to have something I really want to do for me to actually post it. sgg wouldn’t have made the cut if #it weren’t for this one arc that I found so damn funny that I decided to write the entire thing for the sake of one scene in it. it’s not #that I don’t like sgg to be clear. I love it. it’s just one of my much softer stories? #it doesn’t have a big climactic or intricate narrative. it’s softer and about healing. #its less narratively dynamic and more introspective and probably wouldnt have made the cut were it not for one scene ngl #ill probably finish toy rosaries next once i do that arc like im so close

[spaciebabie]

citrine and spinel's relationship summarized.

this happens in canon btw

#not exactly like this but it does happen #it moreso goes like: #citrine: hey i've been having thoughts of killing myself #spinel: WEAK mindset only LOSERS THINK LIKE THAT. ARE YOU A LOSER? #citrine: wh #spinel: like why would you even wanna do that. ive had thoughts like that and i just manned the fuck up #citrine: you had suicidal thoughts??? #spinel: not anymore. i got over it. im better now. #citrine: oh- ohhkayy #she tries 2 be encouraging but it comes off really bad #oc stuff #two #the war organization #oc: spinel hino #oc: citrine hino #okay i think im done with jokes #spacie scribbles #the final exam is alluding ta the royal guard final exam btw

[cashmere-caveman]

Hanif Abdurraqib, it’s not like nikola tesla knew all of those people were going to die | Anne Carson, H of H Playbook | Richard Siken, Snow and Dirty Rain | Franz Wright, Heaven | Toby Whithouse, shooting script for Being Human S1E1 | Franz Wright, Heaven | Erin Slaughter, I Hope My Salt Lamp is a Weeping Deity | Richard Siken, Straw House, Straw Dog & My Country: The New Age, Episode 16

image descriptions in alt

#my country: the new age #nam seon-ho #seo hwi #listen guys (gn). the worms have been festering the dots have been connected the illness contracted etc!! this is an exorcism attempt #bro what if we had both been suicidal for years bc we just wanted everything to be over but we repeatedly saved each others lives #even when we were enemies bc even when we were fighting for different visions of this country we were still *each others* countries #and what if in the end we realized we were never meant to be apart in the first place and gave each other permission to finally let go #but gave our deaths meaning by sacrificing our lives so that everyone else could live in a country of peace !!!! #basically what if we went from best friends to enemies to allies to enemies to soulmates and died in each others arms and we were both boys #their dynamic is so. i wanna eat so much dirt i tunnel right through the earth and end up in argentina. #god. GOD. im like 5 years late but is anyone out there still insane like me in pain like me etc hmu #wait maybe i should put some warnings on this bitch uhhh hold on #blood cw #death tw #suicidal ideation cw #<- just in case bc idk how else to tag for the uhhh extremely normal mindset of both of them #i hope thats it? if i missed sth let me know! also if u read this far u'll get to see the business tags i forgot at the top lol #cavetext #mctna #nam seon ho #poetry #seonhwi #caveweb #also u would not Believe the fucking sleuthing i went through to find the source poem for that erin slaughter quote jfc #thats what i get for keeping incomplete notes ig :/ #also ive found the franz wright poem as both 'heaven' and 'the heaven' so ?? who knows

[d-the-australian-dork]

people certain that james somerton lied about killing himself as if there isn't a chance he tried and just failed

#james somerton #like yeah the dude's a chronic liar #but if i was in his situation i'd be in a similar mindset #and i'm not even suicidal

[horrorlesbians]

here to say that hart should’ve died for cohle because he needed to be wiped from the earth anyway

originally they were both supposed to die in carcosa and their bodies would never be found. i like the uncharacteristically optimistic ending for rust, but it would be so fucking tragic for marty to die saving rust or dying because rust is unable to save him. not only does rust not get to die and return to everyone he ever loved, but he also gets to live with the guilt that he dragged marty back into his world only to kill him. haha yeas < sicko voice

#written in blood #if marty died in carcosa before medics could get there I wonder if rust would kill himself #if that would be the breaking point and override his 'i lack the constitution for suicide' whatever his line was #im sappy and like that they survive but if one or both tied it also heightens the tragedy of the whole 'time is a flat circle' mindset #because it will happen again. the kids will be in that room. rust will lose marty over and over. and he will be unable to die himself #i think a lot can be said about how phenomenal woody's acting is that marty can be such an awful person but at least imo you can still #tolerate him. he's able to still come off charming and caring and well-intentioned even though he is deeply flawed and fucked up

[thirdmagic]

not to be mean but i'm starting to think christianity on the whole is just a death cult

#sorry i just cannot even BEGIN to comprehend the mindset that celebrates and glorifies a tragic suicide. absolutely cannot. #a mindset that says 'you dont really believe the things you say because you havent self harmed or attempted suicide in protest' #like what the FUCK is wrong with you. there are so few of us and you think to protest our murder we should do your work for you???? fuck yo

[uniquezombiedestiny]

actually fuck it. i need to ramble more

thinks about the snow queen and bella. ive recently delved into her story and some of the of fairytale (dubious from some webbed site but. yknow lmao) and wound up with lots of think of... based on her ruina dialogue + appearance, the queen like to challenge the brave. in the fairytale, kai and gerda's childike hearts are still there at the end. bella is someone with a kind heart and not much bravery. (really, she polarizes, but her bravery is more around the alternate alone. she can be brave!! but usually and - especially as she declines - she loses that aspect, likely trading it for simple anger, red-shoes-y desire, etc.) she was also forced to grow up - she is still that lonely kid she was years ago. she is still in t-589, still in c-127. she has a lot to learn, still, and to discover.

the snow queen is.. an interesting figure to me when it comes to her relationship with bella. she is cold, silent, only watching bella as she simply speaks into basically nothingness. she may, sometimes, give her a cruel smile. what a childlike, brave little soul; one who chose to bear the cold. one who enjoys her presence.

"kai saw things he didn't need or want to see." / "he felt like what he knew amounted to so little."

to bella, the queen is a respite. friendcorp has shown her so many new things, good and bad. on the bad side, her mental issues have been unraveling. her unhealthy mindset isn't going to work indefinitely like it used to. but, with the snow queen, it's familiar. it's not even that cold anymore, you know? she's long been used to cold, quiet, endless hallways. talking into the silence - like her words are simply carried away by the wind - is a relief, because noone can hear them. for once, she can speak, and there will be no consequences. and if the queen does hear, well, that's alright. she trusts her, now.

the cold isn't so bitter anymore. it's homely. familiar. it's lively, biting into her skin, sending shivers down her spine. she feels real.

and, ofc, i'll talk about her suicide attempt too. especially her own views on it... eventually, it becomes like a knightly duty to her. she must do this to save everyone else - surely, we'll all be happier this way. yes, you'll have to face this loss. but beyond it is a better ending for everyone here. this is the most logical choice... isn't it?

the snow queen gave kai a kiss - one to no longer feel the cold, and one to forget everything. his family, friends, etc etc. that way, he would stay with the snow queen. she would show him the truth of the world - the shattered mirror shards, his knowledge being so little, the mirror of reason.

"what a shame... all your friends who could help you are gone." really, it's like she pities bella and her kind, lonely heart. she pitites most people, i think, like when she laughed at lee during their duel, or gave merry a sickening smile shortly before being frozen. where her heart should be is empty - she is a cold and calculating being.

in ruina, the mirror is surrounded with frozen people, with the throne being the head of the circle. really, both her and bella have done this time and time again. bella has endured loss after loss, leaving entire worlds behind. the snow queen has killed person after person, snuffing flame after flame. her suicidd isn't much different. it's just, this time. it's a calm, slow end. bella puts up no fight or front of bravery, now. she just wants to return to her dreams of a better world. the queen will gladly show her this, in a place made only for themselves, where bella can finally be completely and utterly herself, in all it's flaws, without consequence. with all of her emotions overtaken by freezing cold, she can finally smile.

and she'll be preserved as an angel. she'll look beautiful, perfect, in this ice, like a bug in amber. she will always be the perfect kid.

also, in the og story, the shattered mirror wound up being made into things like glasses and windows. that fits well with bella's glasses. when kai's eye gets a tiny, tiny shard in it, he sees everything as distorted and ugly. but he sees perfection in snowflakes. the snow queen is made of them, the queen to the "snow bees" that are snowflakes. (they're actually described as snow bees in the story!)

#fc!bella #okay to reblog #anyways if anyone wants to add stuff or anything feel free id be super happy to hear it! #lobotomy corporation #the snow queen #ill maintag since i am talking about the snow queen some #shes inch resting now... motherly figure and all but shes really just a mirage #cruel and cunning but through the mirror shard you only see perfection #i could even delve into motherlyness; love; and bellas perception of love #also how others view the queen and their disconnect towards bella bc of it #and how she deals with their differing views #< but her suicide mindset does kinda do that too #maybe another post :3c #lc ocs #forgot that ine lol #one* #writing #that too lmao

[foxywrites]

at least the war is over - CH 2

at least the war is over - chapter one || Prompt: Day 30- afterlife

In meursault Dazai closes his eyes in his ex partners arms. Chuuya is dead-set on keeping him alive thoug-, he isn't letting him runaway this time, never again.

RATING; General Audiences

WORD COUNT; 3709

CHAPTER; 2/4

STORY WARNINGS; gory descriptions, suicidal mindset, dehumanization, descriptions of injuries, probably inaccurate medical treatment, Bungou Stray Dog’s Chapter 107 spoilers

FANDOM: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs

RELATIONSHIPS/PAIRINGS; Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), (can also be interpreted as Romantic), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Ensemble & Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Ensemble & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)

CHARACTERS; Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs)

ADDITIONAL TAGS; Dazai Osamu Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), Bungou Stray Dogs Chapter 107: In The Small Room part 3 section 1, Bungou Stray Dogs Chapter 107: In the Small Room Part 3 Section 1 Spoilers, Broken Bones, Suffering Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu Has a Bad Time (Bungou Stray Dogs), References to Depression, Dazai Osamu is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Caring Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Member Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Comatose Dazai Osamu, Dazai Osamu-centric (Bungou Stray Dogs)

ANY FANDOM GOES BINGO PROMPTS|| @anyfandomgoesbingo

Old Flame

MULTIFANDOM FLASH-MINI EVENT (AUG 11 - NOV 11) || @multifandom-flash

Blood from the Mouth (C2006) Violence is the Only Option (C2007)

#august writing challenge #AUgust 2023 #au gust 2023 #fandom: bungou stray dogs #ship: chuuya x dazai #ship: chuuya x osamu #ship: soukoku #trigger warnings : #gory descriptions #suicidal mindset #dehumanization #descriptions of injuries #probably inaccurate medical treatment #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bungou stray dogs dazai #soukoku #fanfic #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chūya #moodboard #chapter aesthetic #chapter moodboard #any fandom goes bingo #multifandom-flash #round 2 cards #foxy's updates

[martyrbat]

in the newest edition of skinny bitch audacity (fatphobia):

comparing weight gain to... being a meth addict. and that you can look at someone and be qualified to say theyre degrading their health if they arent a small enough size for you to be attracted to them/be 'acceptable'

[IF YOU SHAME ADDICTS ON THIS POST YOURE GETTING BLOCKED. IF YOU SHAME FAT PEOPLE ON THIS POST YOURE GETTING BLOCKED. I WILL NOT WARN YOU TWICE.]

#literally as someone who put a small hole in my nose from snorting pills i stole and destroyed an oven making meth #i think my eating disorder is and always will be the biggest health issue i have subjected myself too #people treated me better when i was skinnier and diluting drain killer and throwing up on myself after attempting suicide #then being fat and more gentle to my body despite my surroundings #im disabled and not the healthiest vs walking 30 miles a day before but... i was fucking destroying my organs and had no personality #that isnt healthy!!!! #this is the same mindset that encourages eating disorders! that encourages and excuses doctors dismissing fat people's problems and blaming #it on weight when that isnt a factor! the same mindset that kills thousands!! get a life get a personality and stay out of peoples business! #thats not even going into how fatphobia as a whole has racist origins and how it still upholds to this day! #educate yourself and liberate yourself instead of still upholding this bullshit that harms millions #i hate skinny bitches you owe me 500 dollars and the decency to shut the fuck up for forever #ransom note #cw fatphobia #also adding that note at the end like. this site loves being hostile to fat people AND addicts and im not entertaining your audacity either

[ottiliere]

i love your account as just like. an internet speciman. a shrine to dirk strider from homestuck killing himself but the proceeds go to good causes. being a twisted fucking cycle path but it's aight cus acab. never stop posting i love it here

#I love you guys LMFAOOOOO #ask #dirk strider #lucy art #self harm #blood #ermm... #suicide? #I've recently been informed that I am one of the ''few'' regularly active homestuck artists on this site #which I find a little hysterical. time kind of doesn't pass in my mind I just wake up thinking about dirk and go to sleep thinking about di #I guess when you engage with your interests in the extremely specific way that you enjoy without caring about looking weird #and if you have friends with a similar mindset #you can keep yourself entertained for a very long time #and like. if I'm drawing this anyway and making this a zine anyway I might as well donate all the profits to causes I am passionate about #hospital dirk

[ojirocardigansniper]

ouguhhh just read the summary and article from this post about alexandre baril's work on suicidism (oppression of the suicidal) and the opening paragraph of the conclusion in the full article. thoughts. rotating

i was thinking about the. thick white gloves. while reading. remembered that one post about how csa being horrifically taboo to talk about compounds survivors' trauma and shame and went Maybe something similar re: suicidality and suicide... the suffering multiplied by the silence, the risk of dismissal or instant change in perception in anyone you tell... and even in 'mental health' spaces the perception that suicide as a topic is dangerous to talk about- that it could be triggering instantly and automatically- is like. i think there's some paternalism there and there's some shamefear and there's some oversimplification and there's the fact that it plays well into the existing well-taught impulse to avoid the discomforting. but like. this post also about how getting through suicidality is maybe only possible by considering the option thoroughly. i am just thinking. idk. yall know me yall know i think about this topic a lot

#chat #as someone who HAS mostly recovered from passive suicidality- mostly recognizes its suicidal intrusive thoughts as demands for life change- #im def one of the people who can be susceptible to recovery-only mindsets when like assisting or relating to suicidal people. so i need thi #me and one of our stranger sysmates (maze-body) were reading the article together and it kept standing against my reflexive questions + #discomforts because it understands suicidality as both an experiencer (in a weird way) and an already-dead thing; it could confidently- #dismiss my concerns as both fixable and less relevant than the experience and autonomy of the suicidal party. #its whole thing is being- not anti-recovery but like. unrecovered and incurable. which is a perspective we need to remember and have spoken #no matter how much harm reduction + barrier lowering + healing we go through. it as a frank eternality will still remain+need recognition. #its a weirdass way of coping with the inevitability of pain and suffering while not giving up on our locus of control but we're doing it ig #and i think theres a lot there you can relate 2 chronic/passive suicidality- just a companion no matter how much you make life worth living #whatever. anyway #suicide / #in case anyone has. tag blocking but not content blocking fsr

[eastgaysian]

the masterminds of the absolute crisis: 'i miss my dead wife' guy homophobically leeching off of his daughter-in-law's immortality, passively suicidal serial killer, and Ole' Gorty

#dak-wai #dak-wai's kind of on that. get hit by a car as a workaround for suicide being a sin mindset. #except they're part of a fantasy murder cult so replace 'car' with their sister