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mostlysignssomeportents · 3 months

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The real problem with anonymity

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then San Francisco (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!

According to "the greater internet fuckwad theory," the ills of the internet can be traced to anonymity:

Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/greater-internet-fuckwad-theory

This isn't merely wrong, it's dangerously wrong. The idea that forcing people to identify themselves online will improve discourse is demonstrably untrue. Facebook famously adopted its "real names" policy because Mark Zuckerberg claimed to believe that "Having two identities for yourself is an example of a lack of integrity":

https://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2010/05/14/facebook-and-radical-transparency-a-rant.html

In service to this claimed belief, Zuckerberg kicked off the "nym wars," turning himself into the sole arbiter of what each person's true name was, with predictably tragicomic consequences:

https://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/06/17/falsehoods-programmers-believe-about-names/

Facebook is, famously, one of the internet's most polluted reservoirs of toxic interpersonal conduct. That's not despite the fact that people have to use their "real" names to participate there, but because of it. After all, the people who are most vulnerable to bullying and harassment are the ones who choose pseudonyms or anonymity so that they can speak freely. Forcing people to use their "real names" means that the most powerful bullies speak with impunity, and their victims are faced with the choice of retreat or being targeted offline.

This can be a matter of life and death. Cambodian dictator Hun Sen uses Facebook's real names policy to force dissidents to unmask themselves, which exposes them to arbitrary detention, torture, and extrajudicial killing. For members of the Cambodian diaspora, the choice is to unmask themselves or expose their family back home to retaliation:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/meghara/facebook-cambodia-democracy

Some of the biggest internet fuckwads I've ever met – and I've met some big ones! – were utterly unashamed about using their real names. Some of the nicest people I know online have never told me their offline names. Greater internet fuckwad theory is just plain wrong.

But that doesn't mean that anonymity is totally harmless. There is a category of person who reliably uses a certain, specific kind of anonymity to do vicious things that inflicts serious harm on whole swathes of people: corporate bullies.

Take Tinyletter. Tinyletter is a beloved newsletter app that was created to help people who just wanted to talk to others, without a thought to going viral or getting rich. It was sold to Mailchimp, which was sold to Intuit, who killed it:

https://www.theverge.com/24085737/tinyletter-mailchimp-shut-down-email-newsletters

Tinyletter was a perfect little gem of a service. It cost almost nothing to run, and made an enormous number of peoples' lives better every day. Shutting it down was an act of corporate depravity by some faceless Intuit manager who woke up one day and said "Fuck all those people. Just fuck them."

No one knows who that person was. That person will never have to look those people in the eyes – those people whose lives were made poorer for that Intuit executive's indifference. That person is the greater fuckwad, and that fuckwaddery depends on their anonymity.

Or take @Pixsy, a corporate shakedown outfit that helps copyleft trolls trick people into making tiny errors in Creative Commons attributions and then intimidates them into handing over thousands of dollars:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/24/a-bug-in-early-creative-commons-licenses-has-enabled-a-new-breed-of-superpredator/

Copyleft trolling is an absolutely depraved practice, a petty grift practiced by greedy fuckwads who are completely indifferent to the harm they cause – even if it means bankrupting volunteer-run nonprofits for a buck:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/02/commafuckers-versus-the-commons/

Pixsy claims that it is proud of its work "defending artists' rights," but when I named the personnel who signed their names to these profoundly unethical legal threats, Pixsy CEO Kain Jones threatened to sue me:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/13/an-open-letter-to-pixsy-ceo-kain-jones-who-keeps-sending-me-legal-threats/

The expectation of corporate anonymity runs deep and the press is surprisingly complicit. I once spent weeks working on an investigative story about a multinational corporation's practices. I spent hours on the phone with the company's VP of communications, over the course of many calls. When we were done, they said, "Now, of course, you can't name me in the article. All of that has to be attributed to 'a spokesperson.'"

I was baffled. Nothing this person said was a secret. They weren't blowing the whistle. They weren't leaking secrets. They were a corporate official, telling me the official corporate line. But they wouldn't sign their name to it.

I wrote an article about for the Guardian. It was the only Guardian column any of my editors there ever rejected, in more than a decade of writing for them:

https://memex.craphound.com/2012/05/14/anodyne-anonymity/

Given the press's deference to this anodyne anonymity, it's no wonder that official spokespeople expect this kind of anonymity. I routinely receive emails from corporate spokespeople disputing my characterization of their employer's conduct, but insisting that I not attribute their dubious – and often blatantly false – statements to them by name.

These are the greater corporate fuckwads, who commit their sins from behind a veil of anonymity. That brand of bloodless viciousness, depravity and fraud absolutely depends on anonymity.

Mark Zuckerberg claimed that "multiple identities" enabled bad behavior – as though it was somehow healthy for people to relate to their bosses, lovers, parents, toddlers and barbers in exactly the same way. Zuckerberg's motivation was utterly transparent: having "multiple identities" doesn't mean you "lack integrity" – it just makes it harder to target you for ads.

But Zuckerberg couldn't enshittify Facebook on his own. For that, he relies on a legion of anonymous Facebook managers. Some of these people undoubtably speak up for Facebook users' interests when their colleagues propose putting them in harm's way for the sake of some arbitrary KPI. But the ones who are making those mean little decisions? They absolutely rely on anonymity to do their dirty work.

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/04/greater-corporate-fuckward-theory/#counterintuit-ive

#pluralistic #tinyletter #enshittification #greater internet fuckwad theory #real names #nymwars #intuit #mailchimp

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didhewinkback · 8 months

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something old teeny tiny blurb bc dogs

---

December 2022

Thank god it’s Friday, you think, trying to balance your bag, the massive amount of takeout you're holding and your keys as you slide them into the lock to finally get home after a loooong week. Does it make you officially old that those cliches now ring true more than ever? Gross.

You’re in the process of trying to place all your shit down in a semi organized manner when you feel your phone buzz, a smile growing on your face the moment you see the name on the screen as you slide your thumb across to answer.

“Hey,” you say, adjusting the phone on your shoulder as you kick your shoes off and slide your jacket off your shoulders.

“Sorry my meeting ran long, love. Was hoping to pick you up from work.” He says, as the sounds of the city blare behind him on whatever street he was walking down. “Wanted to be a proper gentleman.”

“First time for everything,” you deadpanned.

“Heeey.” He says with a laugh. “Did you get dinner or do you need me to pick it up?”

“I got it,” you say, quickly speaking when you hear his intake of breath. “If you dare ask me if I remembered to order you spring rolls I swear -“

“She knows me too well.” he says with a laugh.

“That she does.” you say, grabbing the takeaway and bringing it into the kitchen, flicking the lights on as you pass. “You heading back now?”

“Yeah should be home in about - oh helllo there” his voice taking on an exaggerated playful tilt. You’re momentarily confused until you hear a soft bark. Ah. “Aren’t you just the sweetest thing?”

“Sorry about her - she’s a real people pleaser” you hear a voice say a bit breathlessly in the background as Harry laughs.

“It’s quite alright,” he says back, and you hear some slight shuffling on his end. “Is it okay if I pet her? What’s her name?”

You lean against the counter, listening on as he makes small conversation while cooing at the dog, Delilah, for a few minutes before there’s the sound of shuffling again as he says his goodbyes.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist.” he says back to you. “Think I want one.”

“Not sure a puppy would be the best companion on a world tour.”

“Thank you, genius, that much I know.” he says as you snort a laugh. “But I’ve been thinking a lot about like…after.”

“Have you?” you ask, your heart skipping a beat, thinking back to the conversation you had back in June, about what he wanted, what you wanted, what you both agreed was worth waiting for. You shift your weight, butterflies flying in your stomach. “And?”

“Just…it’s going to be different, y’ know? Not going to be doing a few months in LA, then a few months in Japan then back to London for a kip. And I don’t want to. Planning on settling in one spot for as long as I can.”

“Something drawing you back to London, then?”

“Something like that,” he muses and you feel your cheeks warm, biting down on a smile. “And I think it’d be quite nice to have a pup that’s ours keeping her company when I would have to eventually go back.”

“I could get on board with that,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady despite the way your heart is racing, his words making you want to melt into a puddle right there on the kitchen floor.

“Yeah?” he says softly.

“Yeah.” you say back and the two of you sit in silence for a moment, just listening to the sounds of each other breathing. “How far away are you?”

“About 10 minutes out.”

“Alright, I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick -”

“I’ll be home in 2.”

“You’re such an idiot,” you laugh, knowing he’s kidding but you can hear the way his breathing changes, the way he’s definitely picked up the pace. “I’ll see you soon, yeah? Love you.”

“Love you. I’ll be home soon, baby. Keep the shower warm.”

---

a/n: i have a few requests coming and the big one but saw these pics and couldnt resist

taglist:@tobesolovelysstuff, @louyoursins, @daydreamingofmatilda, @jojo-blog53, @marzhshaim, @devilsqueen722, @just-happiness-only,@lomlhstyles, @feestyles, @spock4presidnet, @sunshinemoonsposts, @indierockgirrl, @jerseygirlinca, @kissitnhekitchen, @goldnrry,

#something old #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #let me knoooow what ya think !

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bebe-tini-stoessel · 2 years

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like/reblog if you save/use ❤️

tini stoessel gifs ✨

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harrysfolklore · 2 years

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Instagram prompt with Laura harrier ?

HAPPY WEEK OF BLURBS !!! this is the first one and i really really hope you like it, i added a lot of details and made it suuuper long for you !

if you like what i post consider SUPPORTING ME <3 i’ve been posting for free for a year now and any kind of support is appreciated. ko-fi link

ask me anything | masterlist | likes and reblogs are appreciated !

liked by lilyrosedeep, jefezoff and 189,726 others

yourinstagram all smiles lately 🥹

view all 5,265 comments

yourbff my girl got her dream job ily

jefezoff 🙌🏻🙌🏻

harryfan1 i’m here bc harry followed her hello

↳ harryfan2 same

↳ harryfan3 and jeff also commented who is sheee

↳ harryfan4 she was in the lnt music video and she’s a photographer !

↳ harryfan2 oooh that’s right

anthonypham ❤️

↳ harryfan2 new tour photographer?

liked by maggierogers, yourinstagram and 1,707,869 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. New York City II. August, 2022.

view all 98,726 comments

harryfan1 BABYYY

harris_reed It’s giving camp candy cane and I’m obsessed

yourinstagram I can’t wait to see the show 🤍

harrystyles liked this comment

↳ harryfan1 hello miss who are you

↳ yourinstagram oh just a silly little photographer

↳ harryfan2 NEW TOUR PHOTOGRAPHER I CALLED IT

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 190,901 others

rollingstone Presenting our first-ever global cover star: The world's most wanted man, @Harry_Styles.

The pop icon opens up about his huge year, his two new films, activism, sexuality, therapy, and more.

Photographer @.yourinstagram

Writer @.brittanyspanos

Styling @.harry_lambert

[…]

view all 28,937 comments

harryfan1 OMFGGGG

harry_lambert Angel ❤️

yourinstagram i still can’t believe i got this honor 🥹 thank you thank you @.harrystyles @.jefezoff @.rollingstone

harrystyles liked this comment

harryfan2 MY BABYYYYY

liked by harrystyles, madisonbeer and 202,937 others

yourinstagram i had the honor of a lifetime photographing @.harrystyles for @.rollingstone’s first-ever global cover (also my first magazine cover ever 🥺) and i also have the honor to join his one of a kind love on tour residencies

last year i was struggling to pay rent and now this is my life, never give up on your dreams, kids 🥲

view all 9,245 comments

yourbff SO PROUD OF YOU

harryfan1 aww this is so cute ! i loved the RS shoot so i can’t wait to see the pics she takes on tour

pillowpersonpp ❤️

sabrinacarpenter the best out there 🤍

harrystyles Welcome to the road x

↳ harryfan1 imagine harry being your boss

↳ yourinstagram 🥲💖

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 3,749 others

harryupdates “If you see a tiny lady sneaking around the pit, don’t try to kick her out and make sure to smile at her, she’s in charge of capturing all of your faces tonight and the following nights, give it up fro YN!” - Harry introducing his new photographer tonight !

view all 987 comments

harryfan1 aww that’s cute

harryfan2 i can confirm that she’s tiny

harryfan3 i love her already

harryfan4 my baby

liked by harrystyles, emmachamberlain and 208,837 others

yourinstagram the tiny lady who sneaks into pit 😁 thank you for the warm welcome 🤍

view all 9,299 comments

harryfan1 you’re our bestie already

harry_lambert She’s small but don’t underestimate her

↳ yourinstagram i love you

pillowpersonpp The tiny lady and the mother drummer are already best friends ❤️

↳ yourinstagram THEY ARE 🥺

harryfan2 she took pics of me and my girlfriend last night she’s the sweetest

↳ yourinstagram dm me so i can email you those pics !

↳ harryfan1 AWEEE

harrystyles ❤️ x

↳ harryfan1 HARRYYYYY

liked by yourinstagram, hshq and 2,243,316 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. New York City III. August, 2022.

view all 87,365 comments

harryfan1 MY BABYY

jefezoff 🙌🏻🙌🏻

harryfan2 amazing picture wow

yourinstagram my doing 🥺🥺

↳ harryfan3 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING US

YN’S INSTAGRAM STORIES

TEXTS BETWEEN HARRY AND YN / YN AND SARAH

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 5,083 others

harryupdates Harry and his photographer YN out in New York today !

view all 1,003 comments

harryfan1 BABYYY

harryfan2 besties 🌟

harryfan3 i’m not going to say what i’m thinking

↳ harryfan4 i’m thinking it too

liked by harrystyles, sabrinacarpenter and 215,827 others

yourinstagram guess who’s behind the camera now

view all 9,254 comments

pillowpersonpp 💖💖👀

harryfan1 harrryyyyyy

paulithepsm yooo i wanted to thirdwheel

↳ harryfan2 omggg??

harryfan3 imagine harry taking pictures of you

harrystyles Great photography skills x

↳ yourinstagram soon you won’t need me anymore

↳ harrystyles That’s debatable.

↳ harryfan2 not them having a conversation on insta comments also ACTIVE HARRY ???

liked by yourinstagram, jefezoff and 2,539,687

harrystyles Love On Tour. New York City VII. September, 2022

view all 88,937 comments

harryfan1 HE DID IT AGAIN

annetwist ❤️❤️

yourinstagram i feel so honored to capture this moment 🤍

↳ harryfan2 aweee a softie

harryfan3 i love you

YN’S INSTAGRAM STORIES

liked by jefezoff, yourinstagram and 3,093,737 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. New York City VIII. September, 2022.

view all 83,837 comments

harryfan1 MY BOY

harris_reed Nobody puts baby in a box ❤️

yourinstagram love me some soft goods 🥰

↳ harrystyles The softest and the goodest x

↳ harryfan1 HEEEELP WHAT IS THIS

↳ harryfan2 GOODEST I CANT 😭

liked by harrystyles, madisonbeer and 298,736 others

yourinstagram does it look like i’ve been living at msg for the past month?

view all 9,025 others

harryfan1 wow she really is gorgeous

harryfan2 would you cancel me if i saw i would be happy if she dated harry?

↳ harryfan3 no bc same

harrystyles Madison Square Garden is YN’s House x

↳ yourinstagram indeed

↳ harryfan1 i love them

YN’S INSTAGRAM STORIES

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 302,826 others

yourinstagram tonight concludes 15 nights of photographing this kind, beautiful and witty soul. 15 nights of laughter, music and lots and lots of love. i don’t know what i did right to find someone as h in my life, but i thank my lucky stars every night i did

here’s to new beginnings 🌟

view all 10,025 comments

harryfan1 CUTE 🥺

annetwist I can’t wait to meet you, dear ❤️

↳ harryfan2 aNNE????

harryfan2 this feels too personal

harryfan3 they’re dating i’m calling it

harrystyles ❤️x

↳ harryfan4 STOP IT WITH THE HEARTS COME ON

↳ harryfan5 if they’re together he’s never confirming it anyways

liked yourinstagram, spaceykacey and 6,037,635 others

harrystyles You stub your toe, I break your camera x

view all 102,863 comments

harryfan1 HELLOOOOOOO

jefezoff ❤️❤️

harryfan2 DID HE JUST SOFT HARD LAUNCH THEIR RELATIONSHIP???

harryfan3 I TOLD YOU THEY WERE DATING and also this is the cutest pic ever 🥺

yourinstagram can’t get you off my mind 🤍

↳ harryfan5 lol this doesn’t mean they’re dating

↳ harryfan2 come on be serious, why would he post a picture of her and all this comments if they weren’t together

taglist: @cucciolafaerie @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches s @golden-hoax @alienorknight @daydreamingofmatilda @sunflowervolume66 @vanteguccir @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp p @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @manifestrry @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore @leadmetogarden @abeanontoast @grapejuice-rry y @vrittivsanghavi @msolbesg @tati813 @sad1esgf @ivegotparticulartaste @wobblymug @eviesaurusrex @olivialovesh @itsgabbysblog @theekyliepage @gumballavocadoharry @watermelonsugacry @be-with-me-so-happily @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @musicforcinemas @rafeyyyyy @tinydeskwriter @noooovaaaaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mxltifxnd0m

#harry styles fake instagram #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles x reader #harry styles au #harry styles fake social media #harry styles x you #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles headcanon #harrysfolklore #harry styles story #harry styles instagram concept #harry styles social media au #harry styles fan fic #1k

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sweetcherryharry · 1 year

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Begin Again — 02

Synopsis: Harry and Y/N had a secret relationship for almost two years, until they broke up. A year later, she shows up at one of his Love On Tour shows.

(masterlist)

Y/N wasn’t sure what her best option was. She had three running through her mind, trying to decide in just a few seconds what the best possible outcome could be.

One, she could simply act as if she had never read that message. After all, she never opened his texts, she just read them through her notifications on her phone’s lock screen. She could simply reply in half an hour that she didn’t see them on time and that she was already close to her home, and that the show was amazing.

This way, she’d simply avoid what she dreaded the most; the awkward conversation about how they’ve been.

Two, she could simply stay in the pit and follow what he told her; wait for a bodyguard to retrieve her to get her backstage. It wouldn’t be the first time, but the difference was that this time, she wasn’t alone, and they weren’t dating anymore. She’d need to tell both Maia and Natalie about the little huge secret she kept.

They didn’t know anything about it because Y/N had become close friends with them until the pandemic ended and life returned to normal —going back to classes on January 2022— and by that time, she had recently ended things with Harry.

They had broken up in December 2021 and throughout that semester (August-December), she had been traveling with him on his North America tour, meaning she decided to take all of her classes online, even though some of them were already offered to be on campus with a facemask on.

But then, after the breakup, she came back to the California campus for her final semester, ready to graduate in the summer, which she did. There was where she became a very close friend to Maia and Natalie, so technically, she never lied to them about it.

She had mentioned months ago that she had an ex-boyfriend, and how they dated for almost two years before things got complicated and broke up. And yes, she had told them his name was Harry, but that was about it.

She wasn’t sure how her friends would react if the Harry she had told them about was nonetheless, Harry fucking Styles.

And finally, her third option would be to tell her friends that she’ll make her way home later and that they should start getting ahead. What excuse was she going to tell them? She had no idea. And honestly… she knew that neither Maia nor Natalie would want to leave her alone, so this option was almost impossible.

“Are you okay?” Natalie interrupted her thoughts, and that’s when Y/N noticed she had been stuck in her tracks, staring at her screen while she tried to figure out what she should do. “You’ve been standing there for about a minute looking at your phone.”

Maia and Natalie were both looking at her with concern, and for a moment, Y/N felt somehow bad that she was ruining their good moods with her own worries. Minutes earlier, they were thrilled, ranting about the show nonstop, and now, it seemed like the mood between the trio died a little.

Y/N was highly expressive with her facial features, which was both a curse and a blessing, and for that, she knew she couldn’t lie about how she was feeling. But, that didn’t mean she couldn’t say a tiny white lie to lift their concerns.

“Yeah, nothing to worry about,” She shrugged their concerns off, plastering a smile on her lips, “I just got a reminder of something work-related, a few things I need to get done before Monday.”

Maia groaned, “I don’t even want to talk about work right now, I miss being a university student, and simply pushing all the work for Sunday night.” Her comment made the girls laugh, remembering the stress they’d feel trying to complete a whole long assignment in just three hours.

“Stressful times,” Natalie commented with a chuckle, before checking the hour on her own phone, “It’s almost eleven, do you guys want to crash over at my apartment, or do you want to go out?”

And that’s when Y/N decided which was her best option, to leave right now with her friends and act like Harry never asked her to stay back to meet with her backstage. Her past relationship would remain a secret, and she wouldn’t have to explain everything to her friends.

Later in the night, she’ll simply reply that she didn’t see it in time and that the show was amazing.

“Even though I’m just 23, I’m tired already. So much jumping, dancing, and screaming.” Maia replied, to which Y/N agreed. “I’d love to crash at your place and just order some takeout.”

“Perfect,” Natalie replied, and hooked both of her arms with her friends, “Shall we?”

As the three girls resumed their way to the exit of the pit —which was already more on the empty side— they talked about the number of feathers that decorated the floor. It was crazy, really, the number of colors that fans brought to each show.

Y/N loved it.

“Wait!” Maia stopped the girls, and turned to look at them with a grin, “let’s record a quick Tiktok! The one where you stand in the pit with a straight face, and the song Static plays up, and you’re like ‘the concert ended, what now?’”

But before Y/N could say that she wasn’t sure about it, due to the fact that she wanted to leave the place as soon as possible and avoid the bodyguard who’ll come to retrieve her in a few minutes, Maia was already pulling both girls to the barricade alongside her.

In the blink of an eye, Maia had already handed her phone to a random fan who was standing nearby, and the three girls stood side by side. Y/N was wearing her green and black outfit, while Maia wore pink and Natalie yellow.

“Three… two… one!” The girl who was recording them announced to them that the Tiktok was now recording, and the three girls remained serious, their eyes locked on the camera as the girl recording took a few steps back, just like the trend. “Done! I loved it.”

“Thank you so much!” Y/N replied, taking Maia’s phone in her hands. She was beginning to feel nervous, the quicker they left, the less probability there was that she would be approached. The girl simply smiled at her, mumbling a ‘you’re welcome’ and went with her friend, leaving the trio behind.

Y/N handed Maia her phone, and the short-haired girl was quick to post it, typing a quick caption and adding the harrystyles and lotnight5 hashtags, along with tagging Natalie’s and Y/N’s users.

“Okay, now let’s go!”

And as the trio started to take steps away from the barricade, Y/N let out a deliberately quiet exhale, relief filling her body a few seconds later as she finally crossed the exit doors from the pit and unto the outside of the Kia Forum.

But, that relief she felt for those few seconds didn’t last long.

As the girls started to make their way unto the hallway that led to the parking lot, the girl in the green outfit felt a gentle, yet sturdy hand on her shoulder, making her turn around to look for the owner of the extremity, who was now looking for her attention.

Y/N swore she felt her heart falling to her feet as she saw who was now in front of her. It wasn’t a regular bodyguard or another fan that had stopped her —no— it was none other than Jeff, Harry’s manager and someone she had many conversations with (both pleasant and non-pleasant) in the past. He was a friend to her, but he was still Harry’s manager, and he needed to take some decisions from time to time that she didn’t like.

He wore a facemask that covered half of his face, and to disguise himself, he wore a Kia Forum Staff vest, just like the people around the place who worked at the arena. Obviously, he wasn’t dumb enough to come out to the hallways of the Kia Forum with nothing hiding who he truly was, since he knew he’d be surrounded by fans who would recognize him.

“Y/N?” He asked lowly, trying not to raise suspicion or catch fans’ attention.

“Hey Jeff,” Y/N exclaimed, using a low voice too, putting on a forced smile on her lips. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy to see him, she used to get along really well with him, but the circumstances were the ones that she didn’t like much. “How you’ve been?”

She knew that there was no escaping now; she’ll face her ex-boyfriend after one of his concerts.

Great.

“I’ve been doing really well, thank you,” Jeff replied and pulled her in for a friendly hug, which she reciprocated. He hadn’t seen her in quite a while, the last time had been almost a year ago when Harry and Y/N had broken up. “How about you?”

She could see the concern in his brown eyes, knowing that his question didn’t mean just how she had been feeling lately, but how has she been ever since the breakup.

“Doing much better now.” She replies honestly, making him nod. “What about you? How is everyone?”

Jeff smiled, and even though she couldn’t see his lips, she could see the way his face changed behind the face mask, “Glenne and I have been great, now almost two years since we got married, time flies.”

Glenne was Jeff’s wife, and Y/N loved the woman. The four of them would hang out from time to time, and even though there was a slight age difference between the two women, they got along really well.

“It truly does, I still remember those few days before your wedding when both Glenne and you couldn’t stop rambling about your special day.” As Y/N said those words, she couldn’t help but feel a bittersweet sensation.

She had attended Jeff and Glenn's wedding back on January 2021 and she had been Harry’s official partner to it, yet it was almost like she hadn’t been. Instead of standing by his boyfriend’s side during the ceremony and holding hands with him, she had been on the opposite side of the place, standing alone as Harry held hands with Olivia.

When the ceremony had ended and everyone moved to the party, her boyfriend finally spent the rest of the night with her. Since it had been in a private location, there were no more public appearances that needed to be done, and Olivia had finally gone home.

It was until the party then that Harry was by her side all the time, dancing and singing, constantly telling her how much he loved her.

Y/N had enjoyed that night so much, yet at the same time, she hadn’t.

“Yeah, I remember.” Jeff chuckled, and after a few seconds of comfortable silence, he glanced towards a door a few meters away that said ‘Staff Only’, where two guards were standing, checking that nobody tried to sneak in backstage. “He told me to look for you to get you backstage…”

She felt her nerves increase, knowing that it was all getting very real now. “I know.”

“If you don’t want to meet him, I’ll tell him that I didn’t find you.” He gave her a way to back out of this, knowing that the ex-couple hadn’t seen each other in a very long time, and the last time they had, it had been filled with pure heartbreak and tears. “I’m still your friend.”

She let out a deep breath, weighing down her options.

And as she did, she felt a hand squeeze her arm lightly, making her remember that she wasn’t alone. Talking to Jeff had filled her mind with memories of the countless days they had spent joking around on tour.

Y/N turned to look at the two worried and confused faces of Maia and Natalie, slightly turning her back to Jeff.

“You okay?” Maia mouthed to her, not wanting to cause a scene if her friend didn’t actually know this man or wanted to converse with him.

She nodded, “Yeah, he’s a good old friend.” Y/N gave them a reassuring smile.

Natalie quickly glanced at him above Y/N’s shoulder, and smiled playfully, “If he has access to backstage, tell him to get us Harry’s autograph, and we’ll pay him!” She jokingly (which wasn’t much of a joke) whispered to her.

Y/N stayed silent for a few seconds, knowing that there was a small, deep part of her that would hate herself if she let this opportunity pass. Even though she was scared to talk to him, to see him again after everything, she knew that she’d regret not doing it.

Besides, her close friends deserved the truth about her so-called ex.

“Yeah, about that…” Y/N turned to look at Jeff, and gave him a quick nod, telling him in a simple gesture her final answer, before turning to look at her two friends. “You’re about to meet him.”

sorry it took so long! but finally, here is pt2 to 'begin again' :)

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