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atopearth · 3 years

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Piofiore: Fated Memories Part 4 - Orlok Route

I feel like Orlok and his "master" are really flexible characters lol, they basically do whatever they want in the other routes without really having a strict objective or I guess a belief they adhere to? I feel like all Orlok does is follow the guy and try his best to protect Lili, which I have to question whether it's really that much safer for her to be with the Lao-Shu than outside tbh lol, like I doubt Orlok is there for her 24/7 and the Lao-Shu aren't really dedicated to protecting her. It's kinda interesting to hear Orlok praise Rosberg so much and say Dante is a traitor, I wonder why Orlok is so devoted to Rosberg, I mean how old is Orlok that he seems to have been killing all his life (if needed) and being a dodgy informant for the Church? Considering how much regard he holds for Rosberg and the Church, does he not question the reason for someone like him to exist? If they got rid of the Mafia, would Burlone really work out better if the Church monopolised control? It's kinda amusing how Orlok says he prefers to not kill people if he "doesn't need to", but like c'mon Orlok, you say killing is not God's will, but I'm also sure God didn't delegate people or someone like Rosberg to decide who can be killed and who is okay to be killed as long as it's for the Church or whatever. Aside from being brainwashed, I find it difficult to understand Orlok's sentiments and beliefs.

I love how Fei and Lan are still pretty friendly with Lili in this route. Lmao at Orlok being ready to fight them if Lan wants to steal Lili's shrimp haha. Omgg, them eating congee and youtiao makes me crave it in the middle of the night lolll. Anyway Lili, just because Orlok isn't a bad person, that doesn't mean he's a good person or that the person he is following is a good person lol. Honestly, with how obsessed Orlok is with Rosberg, I don't know how to really trust him lol. Lmao at Orlok saying yep Lili must be the chosen one since the food she cooks is so delicious hahahah. It was pretty cute seeing Orlok playing with the church kids and sleeping on the grass with them, it felt so serene and peaceful. I didn't think they'd get to visit the church nearly everyday though! Lol, I guess maybe not for too long since Yang sent Lee and some men to "guard" them from a Falzone attack now and they're just scaring off other church goers. Mmmm, torta di riso (Italian rice cake?) sounds so good!! I can see why Lan and Fei were interested. I love how Lili got one to halve with Orlok just so he could try it, since she knew if she just asked him if he wanted one he would say no. Hmmm, so little Orlok was the one who killed Dante’s father back in the day? Well, Orlok is very naive to think that the Lao-Shu actually care and believe in Rosberg's prophecy, and omg he didn't even report to Rosberg something big like the Lao-Shu spreading everywhere that Lili saving Burlone is Rosberg's prophecy and implying that the Lao-Shu are on good terms with him by knowing it and protecting the holy one aka Lili. Like I don't care about Rosberg but if I was him, I would be annoyed at Orlok lol.

I don't really see why Orlok finds it necessary to kill Dante tbh, rather than it being "necessary", it's simply more convenient for him to protect Lili if Dante wasn't chasing them around, but Orlok knows that Dante would never hurt Lili, so in the end, I find Orlok's reason for Dante needing to die dubious at most. On the other hand, Nicola dying to protect Dante was saddening, and I can't imagine how crappy Dante must feel now. First, he couldn't protect his father from Orlok, and now his big brother/best friend got killed by Orlok and it was because of him as well...he must be in so much pain. I think what's also making it difficult for me to like Orlok is his insistence on Dante and them being traitors towards God and needing to be punished, which I can understand is because Rosberg probably took care of him all these years blah blah, but when do you Dante's route before this, it just makes it harder to empathise and sympathise with Orlok knowing how much Dante sacrificed as the boss of the Falzone and the burdens he carries. Otherwise, every time Lili sees a bit more of Orlok's non-existent lifestyle, my heart breaks. The poor boy has only lived to follow Rosberg's orders and nothing else, he probably doesn't even know how to live without him. It was really sweet of Lili to thank him for protecting her all the time, I think Orlok really needs the human kindness from her that he's never experienced from anyone else. Their life in hiding is so nice lmao, Lili can still cook so many nice dishes and she even thought about making sweets lmao. It was really kind of Orlok to reassure her that she's not useless and can cook such good food. It's cute how much he likes it all haha. On the other hand, I honestly feel like Gil's motive for killing Orlok is so forced and petty for someone like him, even if the deal he lost was important and gives good money, it seems pretty weird for him to spend so much time looking for Orlok and getting back at him by killing him just because of it, and he's even going to kill or sell Lili as well? Yahh, I dunno, doesn't feel like Gil. At least I can understand Dante since he's always been an emotional person, and hearing Nicola say that he'll always be with Dante as his last words would be so heart-wrenching.

Lili feeding Orlok and staying beside him until he slept was so cute, it's nice that he's getting to experience "normal" things, it's saddening to think about the scars all over his body when he's so young. Anyway, I love how Orlok always appreciates Lili and everything she does, and makes sure to tell her that, it just makes you happy to hear it haha. I'm glad Lili finally told Orlok what she truly thinks of Rosberg after hearing Orlok's stories and stuff, but I guess she could have worded it better instead of just saying he seems like a liar lol.I guess it doesn't matter since it'll be hard for him to accept regardless, at least it'll make him think about it though and I think that's the most important. I think it's nice that Rosberg ordering Orlok to kill Lili is kinda what makes him start to question whether this is really right. It'll be hard regardless since if Rosberg's wrong, then that means he hasn't been killing people "in the name of God" all this time and that will be difficult to accept and swallow, but it's something he'll eventually have to face. I really liked it when Lili told Orlok that she isn't a saint and is just human, so she's scared of dying even if her sacrifice will save people, and she's right, she's not Jesus or something lol, she's going to be scared no matter what.

Awww, I really like the little kid who lives on the street called Luca, he's so cute. I especially love how he's like a part of the Orlok and Lili family, and how he thinks they eloped haha. I think it would be so nice if they could really live like a family and eat meals together all the time. I knew Luca was going to die when they couldn't find him, but it was so heartbreaking to hear a little kid think he was going to go to hell because he stole things to survive. So I'm glad Orlok and Lili were there to make his last moments much more peaceful, even though it was still super painful, I hate having to see children die😭 Well, Yang fell rather easily lol~ Honestly, even though I'm happy that Orlok doesn't believe in Rosberg anymore, I would be so annoyed if I had a friend or someone killed by Orlok, like excuse me?! You only start to doubt the guy after he tells you to kill someone important to you? What about all the other people you killed that were important to other people?! It isn't even about logically realising that Rosberg is dodgy either, it's because Orlok doesn't think that someone like Lili should be killed and that's why he doesn't believe in him anymore. Anyway, I find it kinda silly that in the end the Key Maiden isn't even that important because apparently you can get the artifact if you have control over the land! I just feel sorry for Orlok though, since he's a kind person at heart. Also, I'm not sure what exactly prompts Emilio to start doing something about this whole thing, but seriously, he was waiting for Rosberg's compassion to awaken until now?! I don't understand where that compassion could have been if he's been using Orlok and maybe other disciples to do his bidding and kill people he thinks are in his way😶

Seriously, Gil pisses me off in this route lol. I feel like he's so silly and petty, aside from the stupid deal thing, he’s blaming it on Orlok because he caused a commotion and didn't give him any compensation unlike the Falzone lolll, he's also blaming Lili for not denying she was a Saint and that caused a lot of people to get tricked by the Lao-Shu. Okay, usually, I'm like don't blame the victims, and I still am, but honestly, people in town believe things so easily. Anyway, that's not the point I guess lol, I just wanted to say that Gil should know better than to blame Lili. Yeah, maybe she's got some responsibility for being a part of all this, but you can't blame her and say it's her fault. Firstly, he understands that the Lao-Shu threatened her with the church etc and he knows that it would be beyond her powers to go against Yang, but still blames her for running away to protect herself. Yep, like staying here would make her anymore useful? She's told these people she's not a Saint before, what do you want her to do? Can she control how brainless they are? Just as Gil is saying she should take responsibility for this, the victims also need to be taking responsibility for their own actions. I won't blame them for being dumb (even though I kinda do), but if he's going to blame Lili like that, he might as well blame the victims too. It's just so silly and I just roll my eyes every time I see Gil, it's like drama created just for drama. Anyway, I still find it funny that Gil finds the need to kill Orlok and Lili I guess because of all this hahaha, like could there not be a better reason?! You really have a lot of time on your hands, Gil... Also, if Gil really cared about justice for the elderly and the Visconti name being tarnished, shouldn't he be going after Rosberg since he's obviously evil and caused all this alongside Yang? But no, of course he won't because that's too difficult considering his position and influence, so instead Gil is just going to bully Orlok and Lili, the no-name scapegoats that no one cares about if something happens to them. It's ridiculous and I'm annoyed. Anyway, I also find it hilarious that Gil would sacrifice his men for this in the sense that he's willing to kill them along with Orlok if needed, like lmao, he's a full on villain now. He's nothing like the Mafia boss he's supposed to be. I always thought Dante was the compassionate one, Nicola would be a practical boss and Gil was the charming one that naturally got people to follow him, but there's honestly nothing charming about him right now and his reasons are dubious at most, totally not worth sacrificing their lives for this.

Anyway, despite the hilarity of things, I do enjoy how Orlok is starting to understand the gravity of his sins and the repercussions of not thinking for himself. It's not his fault for being used and manipulated since he's a victim too, but it doesn't change that he's killed too many people and I think the first step for him is to accept all that. Anyway, I understand Orlok wanting to live despite everything, but after taking Nicola and his father, is it really justifiable to kill Dante as well just so that he can live? Maybe it's normal to be "selfish" when it comes to the desire to live, but I personally find it deplorable to an extent since Dante isn't wrong to say Orlok ruined his life. Killing his father was something that couldn't be helped at the time, but killing Nicola who was Dante's only support makes me mad that Orlok gets to go for his happy ending by killing everyone around him even though he's supposed to be "not like killing people anymore". Technically, I don't see why Orlok can't choose to run away. Dante technically gave him this chance. Sure, if Dante sees his face all the time, any person would be pissed off enough to want to kill him for revenge, but if Orlok ran away I honestly doubt Dante himself would chase him down. And even if he does, is that really worse than killing Dante? Why is Orlok killing someone who has already suffered enough from his actions just to save himself? You know what? I do like Orlok's conviction towards wanting to live a happy life with Lili, but at the same time I hate that in the end, the one who has to forgive Orlok is Dante as he dies by his hands. I'm sure Dante didn't really "hate" him in the sense that Orlok himself was an unforgivable human being (otherwise his last words would have been different), Dante just didn't know how to handle all these feelings of lost, of the truth with his father's death and how to not blame it on Orlok even though he understands how much of a victim Orlok himself is, and that's why I hate it, and I hate Orlok. I don't feel like he and Lili truly understand what it means to kill someone and live with that, because when people choose such a decision, it is because it's inevitable for one, and two because they truly regret taking this person's life but it can't be helped kinda thing. It doesn't mean you can kill other people so you yourself can be happy. What Lili and Orlok are doing are basically killing Dante to live an "easier" life for themselves and that pisses me off. Killing Dante also creates other societal repercussions, so it's not even what's good for Burlone itself. And what about all the people who love Dante such as Giulia? Lili and Orlok literally only cared about themselves. Honestly this best ending is the worst ending and I went from thinking Orlok was cute to hating every decision he made and being annoyed at Lili for always being like yeah that's bad but it's okay, we need to be happy. Anyway, seriously, if Emilio could take them in under the protection of the Church, I'm sure they could have done that without killing Dante. Yeah, he'll be pissed but I doubt he'd have the power to force them to remove Orlok. And honestly if their life just revolves around the Church, daily prayers and taking care of children etc, they won't necessarily have to even see Dante, Emilio could just as easily fake his death or just hide him, I'm sure Orlok wouldn't mind that. Yeah, I'm annoyed. Dante's route was boring but I didn't hate it, this one I legit hate.

As expected, the good ending had them on the run "forever". I guess it was a nice bittersweet ending? Honestly though, if they killed Dante in the church, I think I would have been able to accept that better in the best ending, because Dante really was pushing them to the brink and it would have been difficult to go easy on him there, but yeah I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. Anyway, for the tragic ending, I find it kinda funny how the Direttore tells them that if they leave Italy, then the Mafia can't do anything to them, but the church can since they're spread all over the world, and it's just like, this organisation that only has one church in the whole Burlone has branches all over the world?! Well, that was unexpected, is this what happens if Dante gets so consumed by his hatred that he doesn't even care about protecting Lili and his duty to the family? All he cares about is tormenting Orlok? Which I guess is pretty effective, but very cruel to Orlok, I feel sorry for him. It was so sad to see Orlok and Lili so close to each other but never able to be together. It was also terrible of Dante to have cut the tendons of their legs so they can never "run away". Even though it was cruel, I really liked how truly tragic it was for all parties. For Orlok and Lili who could never be together, but forced to see each other suffer, and for Dante a kind person to be imprisoned by hatred tormenting people and himself for all eternity because he's lost everyone important to him.

Overall, I really like Orlok as a character but I really don't like his route lol. I've always had a soft spot for LIs like Orlok who are inherently kind even if they're being used, and I just love all the inner turmoil he has to go through when he's faced with his beliefs and learning to question them. I guess I just didn't like how things were executed after a while. Like, I think it was supposed to be romantic how his love for Lili made him go against Rosberg's orders to kill her, but it made me mad instead because his reason for going against Rosberg wasn't because he thought there was something wrong, it was because he felt that if Lili needed to die, then it can't be right. Maybe there's not much of a difference, but for me it felt like instead of Orlok learning to think for himself, he instead became reliant on Lili's existence. By wanting to be with her and loving her, he just kinda changed who he wanted to be with, and yeah Lili is better than Rosberg of course, but I personally wanted Orlok to grow, not be dependent on someone "more important". Anyway, the other thing I didn't like was as usual, how the other Mafia bosses died. I won't say much about it because I probably already complained enough about how ridiculous Gil was, but tbh Yang randomly dying was so anti-climactic lol. Although I do admit I've come to better terms with Dante's death in a sense because of what happened in the bad endings lol, but personally I still hate the best ending because honestly I don't mind it when characters want to be happy and try to obtain it even if it's selfish kinda thing, because I do believe that everyone deserves happiness and sometimes not everyone can be happy. But I do have a problem with when the characters are being selfish and then make it sound like there was absolutely no other choice and that they are bearing these "sins" when they really aren't (imo). Orlok and Lili killed so many people for their so called "happiness" and I honestly don't believe that killing anyone to achieve that happiness is the only or correct way. At least for Yang, he was a bad person through and through, but for Orlok, they try to make him redeem himself by not killing people, but in the end he kills all the most important people, even the person he owes so much to just so he can be happy and that really annoyed me. So honestly, even though I had more emotions towards this route than Dante's, I would choose boring over being annoyed haha. Otherwise, Lili and Orlok were really cute and pure, I enjoyed how innocent their love was, and how they shared happiness in such little things like just spending time with each other.

#piofiore fated memories #piofiore no banshou

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th3okamid3mon · 4 years

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Spies in disguise, weirdly wholesome (Spoilers)

This movie was so freaking weird. I thought Blue Sky Studios was so dead, the only movie I´ve seen from them was Ice Age and Robots, and Ice Age went downhill after the 3rd movie. But this??? This could be their revival.

Sinopsis:

Lance Sterling is one of the best spies in the agency. He loves his job and does it really well but when a bad guy starts harming different people across the world using his face, Sterling has to clear up his name in any way possible with the help of a young scientist called Walter Beckett. Problem is, though, the same scientist tried a very complex experiment on him by accident which result on him turning into something everybody hates: a pigeon.

Animation:

I´m sure Blue Sky has made more animated movies than just Ice Age, but being completely honest I literally only knew that one. I loved that movie, I also like Robots, but the rest they´ve made aren´t as striking to me.

As an animation studio they know what they are doing, it is really good. The details in the water and rocks, all the backgrounds? They all look awesome!

It´s no Klaus though. In comparison to other movies, this is pretty much blends with the rest of the CGI movies there exist. Ice Age and Robots had a very distinctive style, but this one? This looks like something Pixar would do (they kind of went a bit downhill, Toy Story 4 was not needed and The Incredibles 2 felt off and incomplete, animation was fine, writing meh. I hope Onward and Soul are better. Fingers crossed.) I also thought Dreamworks made it. It´s not very... original as in the style of the animation.

The lighting was cool as hell!! The first scene in Japan WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME. It had amazing highlights and it was perfect blend in the atmosphere. The darks werent so obscure you couldnt see anything and when a certain light hit the character it was a great contrast.

The design of the characters were really great, the background characters looked kind of the same though. It was like the main characters were anime protagonists in this case, not only because of the design but because they use more striking and hotter colors in them while the background characters had really opaque palettes.

Story and Characters:

So.. Disclaimer: Spy movies taken seriously is not my thing. I HATE Mission Imposible. I HATE JAMES BOND 1, 2, 3, INIFINITE WHATEVER. I hate them, they are boring and the main characters are worst than Superman (Who, by the way, I also HATE. not the animated one, just the live action one. LIKE BATMAN I HA-). That´s because they portray them as all mighty, powerful, type of card of all traits. Making them too useful and too able makes it boring and it makes you question Why do they even have a freaking team with them?

In this case you have the all mighty, hella cool and able Lance Sterling. He works alone, he is able to do everything and anything, right? Well, at least he is charismatic and such. Of course you have to add something to him so he isn´t just a cocky super human spy. What do you do? GIVE. HIM. AN. OBSTACLE. AND. MAKE. IT. HILARIOUS. Thank god this is comedy.

It was a really weird premise for the super spy to become a pigeon. From all animals, a Pigeon? Uh... Yeah, sure? This director and writer do know how to make this shit work. And BOI was this really interesting.

So it goes like this: Sterling goes against a bad guy who isn´t even the main bad guyTM. He does his cool fighting montage during which POOF, GLITTER! Glitter..? Da fuq? And he rolls with it because if he doesn´t he COULD DIE. (I know there´s the flashback montage for Walter at the beginning but bare with me). He gets the briefcase, which had a very dangerous and powerful machine which in spanish is called LITERALLY ASESINO (MURDERER) , LA-DI-DA-DI-DA he goes back to the agency and... The briefcase is empty and some agent comes all of the sudden and has some recording where it is shown HE stole it and killed some guys in Japan with it.

But he escaped, relax.

Now, previously he had fired Walter because he got into Sterling´s things and put the glitter bomb, which actually did his purpose: distract and make everyone happy.

Walter is actually a curious character to me. He has good intentions, he just wants to make a safer world and all his inventions in comparison to the rest are to minimize damage and to protect not only the spies but also the villains. Now days we have characters who are mostly all in favor to not kill, because killing is wrong. It´s not a new thing, its a pretty old concept, but it is mostly seen in TV shows (at least from the movies I´ve seen, even if the hero doesn´t want to kill, the villain still ends up dead somehow). From all the movies I´ve seen, there were several that didn´t killed the villain but... I didn´t like them at all because the villain didnt even made sense (IM LOOKING AT YOU FROZEN 1 AND THE INCREDIBLES 2, FUCKING WASTE OF MONEY AND VILLAINS, SO HELP ME GO-)

I dont know why Walter stick to me so much more than any other characters in other movies. His motivations were always for the greater good even as a kid. The biggest inspiration in his life was and is his mother, and I think because of her dead that motivation became even stronger. His whole personality and genuine care into his work to help others leaks in everything he does. It´s in your face, ALL THE TIME, but in a good way? It isnt at the point of being annoying, it´s weird how they manage to make such a nice character with certain points that are quirky without making him annoying.

Ok, back to the story without spoiling much and going to the point, they both start working out how Sterling as a pigeon can do his spy work and Walter works on an antidote while also helping Sterling with the spy work. Question: Is it original? I dont know. Does it matter? No.

Look, the concept of a character turning into something is not really original and as spy movies we all KNOW in all 9 levels of Mictlan that Spy theme movies are not original at all. Spy Kids? That was slightly more original than any other spy movie I ever seen AND I LOVED IT. The important manner here is and will always be the characters which... Well... Will Smith acted as Will Smith, or well.. I watch in spanish... wait...

Ok, I already knew Mario Filio was the official Will Smith voice Actor...

HOLY SHIT, EMILIO TREVIÑO IS MILES MORALES TOO?!?!?

Where was I...? Ah, yeah.

As a plot, it had pretty much a lot of dark themes and several heavy spots. For example: The talk between Will- I MEAN Sterling and Walter in the boat, where they talk about how to fight the villain we saw a bit more of them. We already knew the motivation for Walter, but Sterling? The cocky cock has feelings? WHO WOULD´VE KNOWN! He really doesnt want people to get killed and it gets to him, because that form limits him a lot. Walter is so stress too, they both want the best for the people and they argue but in a manner that makes it a bit heavy. Walter is still young and too dreamy, Sterling has worked in the battle field, he tells Walter you have to fight fire with fire and doing it Walter´s way is not gonna work because bad people doesnt care about the good people. Walter replies that there are no good or bad, only people. (UM... I HAVE A BIT OF A PROBLEM WITH THAT?? But I will discuss it later.)

There some scenes i did not expect to get emotional and it quickly returns to comedy but not as awkwardly as I would thought. It´s a fun movie, if it wants too it gets a tad heavy and if it wants to it becomes extremely dumb. It´s a weird blend, the concept is super dumb but the plot and the characters teaches you certain things like: People still get hurt even if you acted with the best intentions. Sometimes to solve a problem you need to think in another way. Kindness is a powerful weapon. And most importantly: Weird is good.

Conclusion:

So... It was a really fun movie. Weirdly wholesome, weirdly good! Pretty good actually, it didn´t get me much as other movies but it did stick to me. It has good animation, the characters are enjoyable and charismatic, the super good boi is Walter MY GOD, HE DESERVES THAT JOB HE GOT. Sterling is a good pal once he sees the value in Walter. That part with the egg was strange but Walter made it have sense and they both rolled with it and it was pretty cool.

Now, the messages are good. I understand people are people and such. You shouldnt kill because its wrong. I mean, the villain DID kind of had second thoughts after Walter saved him from falling after turning the droid off, which was SO COOL TO HAVE KILLIAN LOOK LIKE THAT. He didn´t had to say shit, just that look of ¨Huh... That kid did save me even after I tried to kill him...¨ Yes, give me more shown not tell. THIS MOVIE HAD A LOT OF SHOW NO TELL, THANK YOU.

Still, bad people not always want to change. Some bad people stay bad, and sometimes we will have to fight back. We had movies like The Incredibles 2 or Steven Universe: The Movie shown what should we do and what happens to the villains. They had a backstory, they had their motives, as heartbreaking their backstories were what they did was wrong and at least one of them in those examples were punished for their wrongdoing. Steven in the movie fought back instead of getting himself hurt.

In this movie, the villain was kind of kept a mystery, his backstory wasn´t a flashback or anything, it was told by the character but I think that was a good thing because the pain in his eyes and the anger he felt leaked from his explanation to Sterling. Even when he was explicitly a bad guy from the beginning, before even the movie started, we can see that those bad guys, in fact, are people too, and as the good people they can get hurt too because they have families, friends, pets, interests, hobbies and more. Walter does have a point, they are just people so we shouldn´t kill them. I guess the problem I have with the saying ¨There´s no good or bad, just people¨ is that the people who do bad things, people like Killian, they hurt and murder so many people and I am not fine with those kind of people. I say Eye for an eye, but then again ¨Eye for an Eye and everyone gets blind¨.

I dont know why or how they manage to get somehow complex in movie where a person LITERALLY TURNS INTO A FEMALE PIGEON. Oh, yeah, by the way. Sterling becomes a female pigeon because Walter uses a feather of his female pet pigeon.

I had low expectations and came out impressed and howling with laughter even after getting home. I do recommend this movie for his whole ridiculousness and for his weird but wholesome character development, bonding, different characters and final message.

Weird is good and we need weird to make the world a better, safer place.

-Sincerely weird, T.O.D

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ais-n · 4 years

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2| and where is the trauma? both hsin and boyd were severely sexually abused. and emilio's illness is always treated as a joke. look Ais, your series has done me so much good between the bad it did. i found i'm gay lmao and i'm grateful for that. i'm grateful that you wrote this ok. but there are things that were offensive, and maybe it was unconscious, since i doubt you wanted to be racist or write a mlm relationship but more like hetero. i wish i could just enjoy the books but my heart breaks

3| idk what the one who questioned that could possibly mean between all the things but thats what i mean. i appreciate you a lot. i hope this didn’t make you feel worse or whatever. but some people really did end up hurt badly after reading icos and im one of them. with all respect, and hope that i didnt disturb you much, farewell.

++++++++++++

Aha I just realized I can put both 2nd and 3rd asks in one! Which is good because, again, the gay comment makes me laugh out loud XD As I said in the other post, thank you again for reaching out, for explaining your concerns, and for the courage you no doubt had to bring forth in order to do so.

I’m getting right into the answers in this one although I will probably ask more questions for clarification on some of the points, as I did on the first one, to make sure I’m not misunderstanding or misinterpreting anything.

More below the cut! :)

EMILIO’S ILLNESS

I’m really sorry but I wasn’t sure what you meant by that. Which illness? How is it treated as a joke? Could you clarify?

TRAUMA

So this I thought was super interesting that you felt there was no representation of trauma in ICoS, or I assume you also mean its aftereffects. That’s actually one of the few points I feel pretty confident saying the series does portray a lot of, both in some cases the experience of it and in other cases the repercussions.

One of the reasons both of them are so severely dysfunctional individually and together is because of trauma.

I don’t want to muddy up this post with a huge tangent but someone had asked a few years ago about the result of the Aleixo mission on Boyd, if he was diagnosed with anything, and so on. If you’re interested, I wrote a long ass reply about the psychological effect of sex trafficking on survivors/victims and talked about some of the things you see Boyd do that are a bit reflective of that. More info at https://aisness.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/boyd-aleixo-psychology/

I think there probably would be more information on all this by now, or at least I certainly hope there would be, but at the time of writing Fade that was the sort of research that was available.

Although, full disclosure, I don’t tend to write characters looking up the DSM symptoms for this or that; I write what feels right for them psychologically, mentally, emotionally, and oftentimes later look it up and realize they would have likely been diagnosed with this or that thing or they could be displaying traits of this or that.

At any rate, with Boyd, his trauma started early on, and pretty much everything about him is a reflection of that in some form. I don’t see trauma as specific to sexual assault; it’s most certainly a result of that but also of many other things. Boyd dealt with a lot of neglect and/or emotional abuse as a child, he was bullied by his peers, and generally speaking it was difficult for him to feel like he belonged anywhere. He was very often judged by others, often negatively, for things completely outside of his control, like his parents, their jobs, his home, the amount of money his family had, his looks, etc.

If you look at the Mayo Clinic’s list of child abuse, Boyd falls pretty well under emotional abuse and a bit under neglect, and you can especially see the toll that had on his personality by reading the signs and symptoms of emotional abuse in particular:

Loss of self-confidence or self-esteem

Social withdrawal or a loss of interest or enthusiasm

Depression

Avoidance of certain situations, such as refusing to go to school or ride the bus

Desperately seeks affection

And general symptoms:

Withdrawal from friends or usual activities

Depression, anxiety or unusual fears, or a sudden loss of self-confidence

An apparent lack of supervision

Self-harm or attempts at suicide

If you look at Complex PTSD, and in particular Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD) you can see a lot of Hsin:

Attachment – “problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others’ emotional states”

Behavioural control – “problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems”

Dissociation – “amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events”

I wouldn’t say Hsin dissociates quite that extensively but I feel like he does display some dissociative tendencies at times.

Boyd has some too, like

Self-concept – “fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self”.

I think in some ways you could argue they both display aspects of:

Affect or emotional regulation – “poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes”

When Boyd was little, he often wondered why other people were treated better than him - why, when he was getting perfect grades, he was going above and beyond whenever possible, when he was trying to be “a good boy” all the time, when he went out of his way to stay quiet and not bother anyone – why, despite all his attempts, other people were celebrate yet he was reviled, even if the people being celebrated were awful people doing awful things. He used to study other people relentlessly, trying to understand what it was about them that made them acceptable and what it was about him that made him not.

That’s why, despite being such an introvert, he’s good at blending in and going undercover; it’s why he can adjust to new situations and, in a way, act - because he always had to monitor and adjust himself his whole life just to feel seen and loved. His dad loved him on his own so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but with the trauma that came from the loss of his dad, and what happened with Lou, plus everything afterward, it really messed everything up.

Boyd was not a victim of childhood sexual abuse, but more of emotional abuse. Well, I guess, I should say for the most part he wasn’t.

Hsin was definitely a victim of childhood sexual abuse and probably physical abuse (that bit I can’t recall for sure). He was raped even as a small child, and that led into different aspects of his life. One reason, for example, he would go berserk and was seen by the Agency as unreliable in cases of him seeing sexual assault was because he saw, in some way, himself in those victims. It was probably his way of protecting people when he hadn’t been protected, himself.

I can’t speak too much on Hsin’s specific mental health status or repercussions because I didn’t write him so I’m not fully in his mind, but I do know that sort of berserker aspect is part of what came from his sexual abuse and physical abuse and just generally how he grew up. If I recall correctly, a lot of that led into why he was so unstable and dangerous when Emilio first found him; why it took so long to get Hsin to find a way to deal with the violence and aggression and anger in him, in addition to everything else that would have happened regardless of that childhood trauma. Why, too, it was such a huge deal when Boyd was able to earn Hsin’s trust, because he had learned in his life to trust almost no one.

You can see some of the way they both display aspects of C-PTSD as adults as well in the list at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder#Adults

I should be clear: I am NOT a psychiatrist or psychologist so I’m not suggesting that they would be specifically diagnosed with any of these disorders were they to get official diagnoses. However, the reason I bring it up is to show that a lot of the series reflects the way their coping mechanisms lead them to interact within themselves and with the outside world, all of which is often directly or indirectly tied to trauma.

Why is Boyd so terrified of anyone seeing him without his shirt in the beginning? Trauma. Why is he depressed? Trauma. Why is he suicidal? Trauma. Why does he go out of his way to avoid a certain block? Trauma. I would have to look at specific symptoms of different things but I would guess that you could also tie back some of his instability and his sometimes inconsistent reactions to trauma as well. Sometimes he does things or says things that may seem a bit reckless, or cold, or some other unexpected thing at that time - and a lot of times it’s probably in part related to how he learned to cope with things and what his levels of defensiveness are or his fears are at that moment. But he also has a complete inability to see the good in himself for a long time which also ties back, I would think, to some of the things he experienced growing up/previously.

Boyd is an incredibly unreliable narrator. He spends most of his narration thinking about how awful he is, how he should just die, how he isn’t doing a good enough job, and so forth. Yet, that fails to show the impact of some of his choices and decisions. Boyd was pretty much the first person to treat Hsin like a normal human being, to not see him as a surrogate of anything or anyone, to not have any ulterior motives or expectations of him (no matter how well-intentioned), and to truly gain his trust as a result. Yet, Boyd didn’t really see it that way. He didn’t see how important it was for Hsin that he ended up in his life; he didn’t get why Hsin was exasperated the times Boyd said he (Boyd) should just die, that there was no value to his life. He didn’t believe he could be loved so he couldn’t see it was even a possibility at first. Therefore, he spends a lot of his narration over the series belittling himself and downplaying any of his own achievements while simultaneously rewarding or acknowledging what others around him are doing. Not every moment of his narration, of course, but his default state of self is to think he sucks and others are probably better.

Conversely, Hsin is a confident narrator. He often doesn’t doubt himself, doesn’t care what other people think, and is very sure of himself in a lot of aspects like his physical prowess which, itself, is already above and beyond nearly everyone else. Yet he also learned not to trust or rely on anyone else in his life, so he’s incredibly suspicious of others because that’s how he had to learn to be. So, especially in the beginning of the series, in his narration he tends to be very factual about his own achievements and not shy away from acknowledging the things that are powerful about him (even if he doesn’t always see it as anything that special), while simultaneously seeking out anything untrustworthy, unreliable, incompetent, or unworthy about those around him. His narration tends to point out the flaws of those around him because he learned that if he doesn’t protect himself, he’s vulnerable, and when he’s vulnerable he gets hurt.

The result of that is, if you read their narrations straight as if it’s all perfectly reliable, Boyd seems even more unreliable and Hsin seems even more perfect than they actually are, because their default states of being overlap in a manner which magnifies the flaws in Boyd and the merits in Hsin.

Both of them learned to be how they were because of how they were raised, what they went through, and more. Same as how they react to various things throughout the series.

I can’t more specifically comment on anything without knowing what in particular you were thinking of when commenting in the ask about trauma and sexual abuse. But I think generally speaking, they already start the series having learned coping mechanisms that work for them based on trauma they already individually experienced. Those coping mechanisms end up oftentimes being challenged and at times destroyed or reworked throughout the course of the series. That is what leads to a lot of their ups and downs as individuals and as a couple; why their story isn’t a straight arc going up but instead derails a lot. And why they both spend the entirety of the series coming to terms with who they are both internally and externally, and what that means for their relationship, and how they can find a way to grow as a person and a significant other. They both ultimately have to work on trust; Boyd has to learn to trust himself, Hsin has to learn to trust others, and they have to learn to trust each other.

The way people deal with trauma is not the same for everyone. Sexual abuse doesn’t result in the same reaction for all people. I’m not sure if maybe one of the things you were thinking is maybe about sexual abuse during the series itself? I already linked something that goes more in depth on Fade so I won’t touch on that book, and I really can’t speak for Hsin because he isn’t my character so I don’t want to misrepresent his thought process as hidden behind narration or actions at different points.

The only other thing I can think of that maybe you’re thinking about is Boyd’s valentine status, and how he doesn’t seem to have overtly strong reactions to anything until Fade. If that’s one aspect of what you were thinking about, part of that is just how Boyd deals with things. He tends to avoid things that are difficult for him or he has difficulty focusing on, and oftentimes shuts down emotionally.

I think honestly he probably dissociated to some extent during a lot of things; kind of separated his body from his mind and felt like whatever happened, happened. For a lot of the time that he was a valentine early on, he had such little love for himself that regardless of how upsetting anything was, how little he wanted to do certain things, he felt on some level like he deserved it. Some things were probably a subconscious form of self-punishment for being born, for being who he is, for surviving when Lou didn’t, for surviving when his dad didn’t, for never being enough for his mother, for just plain existing. Then as time went on he grew to rely on Hsin and find strength in him. It’s also not like every mission he had was a valentine one, or even that every valentine has to end in anything physical.

That’s why he was able to find ways of dealing with things in some form, even if he didn’t like it or was uncomfortable at times, until the Aleixo mission. He thought he knew how to handle things; he thought he had found apt coping mechanisms. But that mission tore that all apart and nearly destroyed him. His coping mechanisms didn’t work the way they had and now he had to find a new way to survive, and from there came a lot of his instability and more that you see in Fade and as I mention in that blog post.

But in short, I feel like the majority of the series ends up touching, indirectly or directly, on some form of trauma as experienced currently or in the past by one or more of the main characters, and their resulting actions then drive the plot. That is one thing we were very specific about doing: having the plot adjust to the characters rather than force the characters to adjust to the plot. That’s why Afterimage exists, actually; the original plan was sort of like 3/4 of Evenfall and then kind of jumping into aspects of Fade. But we realized at the end of Evenfall that certain things would occur which would then lead to Afterimage and Afterimage then led into aspects of Interludes, which then led into aspects of right before Fade, which then affected a huge part of Fade itself, which then informed 1/27. We didn’t set out to write a series specifically about trauma, it’s just sort of one of those things that happens if you take two characters who have been treated so cruelly or poorly for so much of their lives, and put them together as any sort of team - but especially a team that becomes a couple, and a couple that becomes all but married.

+ +

Regarding the other stuff, I haven’t had a chance yet to check if you answered my question about the hetero relationship comment, so I can’t comment on that until I know more of what you mean. But I would say that generally speaking, I don’t know that I believe it’s necessarily fair to label anything as strictly “hetero” vs “m/m” vs anything else for a relationship. That brings with it a lot of assumptions of what it means to be not only gay or LGBTQIA+, but also straight. It seems to suggest there is only a single way or a very strict set of ways for a cis male and a cis female to be together both in a relationship and to have sex, and I guess I don’t feel like that’s necessarily reflective of reality. People are very complex and so are their relationships, as well as their sex lives.

I’m not sure how specifically the series ended up hurting you but I’m very sorry you felt hurt by anything. That’s a terrible feeling to have to experience. I hope that in whatever way, however it may work best for you, you have the time and space to reflect and recover and rejuvenate. You, like everyone, deserve it.

And honestly, if that means you have to leave the series completely in your past, never to think about it again, if that’s what’s healthiest for you, I truly wish you are able to do so. Stories are there to connect with other people, to share our thoughts and sometimes help us work our way through our own while reading. No story is worth your mental health being put in question. If it is truly upsetting to you to think about the series, it is absolutely not worth your energy. You are more important than a story will ever be. Everyone is. And I say that despite how much I love and rely on stories to get me through life.

If part of your duress is you like aspects of the writing style but the series itself and its contents upset you, you could try reading some other stuff. I have some things I wrote solo that you can find on my AO3 if you want. But also you can find other writers entirely. Depending on what you’re looking for in a story, and the sort of topics you’ve learned work well for you or don’t work well for you, you should be able to find a ton of great series out there and great authors out there who will leave you with the happier aspects of your reaction to ICoS without anything more detrimental like it sounds happened for you with ICoS.

Regardless, I truly wish you the very best. As I said in the other one, please stay healthy and safe! And, if you’re in a place to manage it, stay happy as well :)

Brightest of blessings to you and yours, my friend!

#ask ais #icos #in the company of shadows #Anonymous

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dillydedalus · 5 years

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october reading

books. i read ‘em.

the bird king, g. willow wilson ugh i’m disappointed with this - i expected it to be more about the fall of granada, rather than just taking that as a jumping-off point for a very slow story of how fatima (concubine to the last andalusian sultan) and her bff hassan (magical mapmaker) escape from lady inquisitor luz to a magical/legendary island. that’s more of an expectation mismatch, but i also found this just a bit boring and confused, didn’t like the characters or the emotional moments. 2.5/5

lanark: a life in four books, alasdair gray y’all... this is a weirdo pomo mess which gray himself describes as ‘a portrait of the artist as a frustrated young glaswegian’ (instant love), it’s about duncan thaw growing up in post-war glasgow (not a good place) and lanark, sans memories, finding himself in the city of unthank (probably The Bad Place), where the sun hardly ever shines and people grow dragonskin, but really it’s about art & cities & politics & scotland & hell. it’s completely nuts & has a chapter where the protagonist meets the author in the process of writing and there’s a chapter-long sidebar detailing all instances of plagiarism in the book (incl. the lack of influence from robert burns, more sinister than all plagiarism). it’s a bit flabby in places & could stand to be a 100-200 pages shorter, but damn. 4/5

the memory police, yoko ogawa (tr. from japanese by stephen snyder) very atmospheric, quietly disturbing magical realist(ish) book about an island on which sometimes certain things (birds, roses, ribbons, fruit) just disappear, with the inhabitants losing their memories and emotional connection to the thing. the disappearances seem to occur randomly and on their own, but the memory police makes sure that no disappeared items remain and that those who can still remember also... disappear. really liked the quiet slow dread building here, the mysterious workings of the disappearances, and the interplay between the main story and the novel the narrator is writing while worrying whether words too will soon disappear. 4/5

trick mirror: reflections on self-delusion, jia tolentino collection of nine essays about roughly, life & self-image & politics in the social media age (and its predecessor, the reality tv age), gender politics and uh scams and self-delusions. many of these essays felt vaguely like things i’d read before online (& i might have) & didn’t offer anything completely new but i liked the examinations of big wedding culture, and her take on the ‘difficult woman’ archetype of millenial feminism. tolentino in general is an engaging, sharp writer, and even when she’s writing about familiar topics, she often puts an interesting spin on things. 3.5/5

here in berlin, cristina garcía and the anglophone-berlin-books saga continues. a cuban-american woman with a mild personal crisis goes to berlin (as people w/ personal crises so often do) and there collects a variety of snapshot stories from berliners (by birth or choice or accident), mostly about world war 2 and the latin american diaspora in berlin. some of the snapshots are p interesting or bizarrely funny but mostly they retread the same ground (history, trauma, collective & personal responsibility, commemoration etc) without really saying anything new (except the connection garcía makes between the nazis and south american dictatorships). there’s also a pretty annoying attempt to create authenticity by peppering in german words and phrases which sometimes aren’t even appropriate or spelled correctly* (get a german proofreader you cowards i’ll do it for free... like wtf is ‘volkenbrot’). 2/5 *i ordered it used and got an ARC, so maybe some of these issues were fixed for the final version but lmao. volkenbrot.

wilder girls, rory power this is annihilation as YA, set on an island called raxter where a mysterious illness called the tox has taken over, transforming the wilderness, the animals (deers grow canines y’all), and most of all the girls at raxter boarding school. the narrator’s eye has fused shut & something is growing under it, her friend has grown an extra spine, other girls have gills or claws. less fortunate girls (and most of the teachers) just die. there was a lot i liked about this, especially the tox and the ambivalent relationships the girls have to their changed bodies, but the last third just... eh. also, like, i like tumblr monster-girl poetics as much as the next person, but this is really overdoing it. 2.5/5

nach mitternacht (after midnight), irmgard keun KEUN HYPE TRAIN!!! this one’s super interesting because it’s the first novel keun wrote in exile, published 1937 and set at around the same time. the protagonist, sanne, is a naive and politically uneducated 19-year-old who is repeatedly & very dramatically confronted with the political reality she lives in, first when her aunt denounces her to the gestapo and later when her boyfriend franz is arrested. for most of the (very short) novel, sanne is observing and not quite understanding the increasing legal discrimination against jews, culture of paranoia and denouncement, and glorification of fascist ideology, which makes for a very disturbing reading experience, especially with the reader’s retrospective knowledge, but the climax is truly nightmarish & devastating. 4/5

children of god, mary doria russell the sequel to the sparrow, which i read & loved earlier this year. in this one, emilio sandoz, still in recovery from the trauma of his first trip to the planet rakhat, is forced to return there (bc the pope thinks it’s god’s will lol) and finds the planet changed after decades (space travel makes time weird) of revolution and civil war. i liked this but it’s not as good as the sparrow, the characters (except my man emilio) aren’t as interesting & well-developed and the dual timeline structure isn’t as well-executed but hey. there’s some closure for emilio & that made me hella emosh. 3.5/5

the wilful princess & the piebald prince, robin hobb a novella telling the true (?) story of charger farseer, the piebald prince, a historical figure that has great influence on the six duchies of fitz’s time, especially regarding the treatment of the witted (people who can magically bond with aninmals) and how fitz is framed & reviled as the ‘witted bastard’. this was cool & i enjoyed how it twists the story, but it’s not worth reading if you haven’t read the main series. 3/5

the inheritance, robin hobb/megan lindholm collection of short stories by hobb under her two pseudonyms - i mostly skipped the lindholm ones (sorry), but the three hobb ones were really really good. the first is about the first expeditions into the rain wilds (i love the cursed shores so much & wish there was a full trilogy about the first settlers there), the second is about bingtown & wizardwood, the third is about how sometimes you gotta kill your abusive ex & if you’re lucky, your cat will help you do it. it’s great & the cat is called marmelade. 4/5 for the hobb stories only

unholy land, lavie tidhar alternate history + multiple realities + high-concept pulp - lior tirosh, a pulp author (it’s meta) returns to his homeland, the jewish state palestina, established in east africa in the early 20th century, and there becomes involved in... rival plots to destroy/stabilise the borders between the worlds, not only between this alternate one and our real one, which tirosh seems to occasionally slip into, but all the million others, including one where the moon broke. love the concept, but this is so vague & confusing on so many points and the ending so abrupt that i was left kinda frustrated & unsatisfied (also bc we never find out much more about the world where the moon broke). 3.5/5

tigermilch (tiger milk), stefanie de velasco german ya book about two teen girls growing up in a poor neighbourhood in berlin. nini’s father is absent, her mother depressed, while jameelah’s father died in iraq and her mother is worried that they might be deported, and their bosnian friend amir’s sister is dating a serb. it’s some pretty harrowing stuff & it’s good to see Issues (TM) addressed in german ya in a way that doesn’t feel super didactic & preachy, but ultimately i’m really not the target audience here. 3/5

sea monsters, chloe aridjis

weirdo brainy dreamy novella about a girl in 80s mexico running away from mexico city to the beach because she’s looking for ukrainian circus dwarfs (???). i liked a lot about this (atmosphere, poetic & mythical allusions, a lot of the writing, the depictions of mexico city and the weird beach culture are both really cool) but a lot of the time this was so dreamy that i just kinda zoned out. 3/5

i am currently reading emma by jane austen bc i forgot about my monthly austen project until the last few days of the month lol & one of the hugo long list anthologies. the one with the cool fox on it.

#the books i read #long post

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emiliios · 5 years

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TW: DRUGS, ADDICTION, DEATH.

- ̗̀✰ •【 CHRIS WOOD / CISMALE / 29 】announcing the arrival of his royal highness, ( EMILIO DE COIMBRA ), the ( PRINCE ) of ( PORTUGAL ). I’ve heard that he is ( STUBBORN ) & ( FACETIOUS ) but can also be ( PASSIONATE ) & ( LOYAL ). ( EMILIO ) is arranged to marry ( TATIANA ROMANOV ). Rumor has it ( HE IS ADDICTED TO COCAINE ). We hope you enjoy your stay at London!

sup bbys it’s riley again ( i also play christian and tomás ) and we r back w yet ANOTHER sad boy ™ , emilio AKA MILO, however this one is on a REDEMPTION ARC. MARK MY WORDS. we r in for a wild ride. as always. a pretty damn lengthy intro post underneath the cut. and as always, GIVE THIS POST A LIKE or slide into my tumblr ims / discord dms for some plot ho™ action thnx

BACKSTORY ! tw: drugs, addiction, death.

( read more about the de coimbras here !! elle did such a fanfabtastic job )

long story short, milo was close with his family, but not super close. he loved his parents and his siblings a lot, but never really showed it; would protect his siblings at all costs but never told them everything. sort of like a semi-close but not too-close kind of vibe there.

he was very close with his father, though -- despite their arguments about staying out late or getting in with the wrong people sometimes, he really looked up to his father. he respected the shit out of him for marrying out of love and not for political reasons, and always thought that just maybe he could do the same. but ofc, that future was not for him (OR WAS IT ....... stay tuned).

being the second oldest, he was expected to have responsibilities, but he never had the burden of knowing that he would have to lead a country ( that is, until now ). he had a weird relationship with his duties before pedro fell into his coma; knowing his status as a member of the royal family, he had things he had to do, but sort of skirted by and did the bare minimum. he’d attend galas, meet other royals, uphold a certain standard of himself, but other than that, he felt as though he had free reigns over what else he wanted to do with his life. that typically meant going out with his friends, traveling to the south of france for a weekend with his friends, etc. he wasn’t too rowdy as a teenager, but he dabbled in some drugs here and there. nothing too serious.

TW: DEATH. BUT THEN his father died when he was 23 and out of college, working as a manager for some international nonprofit, he spiraled out of control for a while.

and by that i meant he would go out and go like sicko mode version of his old life, like full send on drugs and partying and completely neglecting his duties as a royal. he got shit from his family and his siblings but he found even more that there was no reason to worry that much about his duties n shit.

the one bright spot in his life from age 23-present day was tatiana. o boy did he fall hard when he met her at age 26, almost got control of his life again with her in it. he was seriously in love w her but of course, his whole mindset of not giving a shit wasn’t really cutting it and he was probably not the best boyfriend LET ALONE someone that another royal should be betrothed to / associated with, so they broke it off after about two years.

TW: DRUGS, ADDICTION. the six months between his break-up with tatiana and pedro’s accident that put him in a coma was probably milo’s all time low. he went through a phase where he’d sleep around trying to get over her, this was also the time when he really got hooked on cocaine. he’d do it to try and feel something, and really spiraled to his absolute lowest. royal family negligence was at an all time high. real low point for my dude right here.

flash-forward to pedro’s accident, about six months ago -- it turned milo’s entire life upside-down. he was now the crowned prince, the one who would have to rule a country. he realized how much responsibility he would have to carry, without either of his parents or his older brother to help him. he started to turn things around -- cut out the partying, the sleeping around, the excessive drinking. he started to realize how vulnerable a human life was, realizing that his father’s passing and his brother’s accident were real, not just flukes, and his entire outlook on life changed.

he wanted to be good. he wanted to be good enough to be a role model for his younger siblings just like pedro had been for him; he wanted to be a leader that the portuguese people would stand behind and support, but he knew he had a long way to go.

TW: ADDICTION. he continues to put in a lot of good work to improve his character, his habits, his relationship with his family, and his royal duties. however, there still exist a few flaws: the fact that milo never wanted to be king or ever rule a country still weighs down in his heart, and he still harbors a bit of resentment toward carlotta for indirectly pushing this life on him, but also, deep down, he knows that without this push, he would still be in a very dark hole. second, due to the immense amount of sudden pressure pushed onto him, milo still frequently uses cocaine and needs it to relieve himself of pressures.

PERSONALITY !

milo is definitely outgoing and has a witty sense of humor. the fact that he was sort of a black sheep made him have a bit of a self-deprecating of humor at times in his life, but it shows that he is actually pretty self-aware as well.

milo is friendly; despite not really wanting to have a royal title, especially not that of ‘crown prince’, he does like getting to know people, and in a lot of cases, that means other royals. however, get on his bad side or annoy him, and he’ll be cold or aggressive.

milo is emotional, but doesn’t really show it. he bottles up a lot of his emotions and lets them out by himself, but we’ll all be damned if he ever cried in front of maybe more than like 1 person. while he is self-aware about a lot of things, he doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions sometimes.

milo was a bit cynical, but has been wanting to change. he used to think that every man was out for himself, but having come into a leadership role, he sees different perspectives better now.

milo is a little impatient, but he’s working on it. he’s really working on it 1!!!!!!!!!

TIDBITS !

milo is called milo only by his close friends and family; he still goes by emilio regularly.

milo is really into astronomy; often times while drunk / high / neglecting responsibilities, he’d find himself staring at the stars in the garden. he likes studying constellations. it’s cool and it’s his little nerdy thing.

milo is pansexual; doesn’t really care for gender or sex and probably discovered this during college or something.

milo really is into action movies. like fast and the furious or something. i don’t really know other action movies.

milo learned how to play guitar, probably when he was really high or something. he’s actually pretty good. probably used it to woo women at some point, but deep down it’s one of very few things that can calm him down.

AESTHETIC ! tw: alcohol.

well-fitted sweaters, headphones around his neck, expensive watches, pen ink stains, a neat desk, rock music, star maps, spearmint gum, speaking three languages in the same sentence, old cartoons, faded tanlines, smokey cologne, dark chocolate.

POTENTIAL PLOTS ! tw: drugs, alcohol, addiction.

previous friends / party buddies, people who milo used to hang around in some of his more crazy points of his life -- people who could do lines with him, who would travel recklessly around the world with him, who probably fed into his ‘fuck royal duties’ kind of thing. he probably cut ties eventually when he realized how stupid it was to be doing all these things ( about six months ago ); things could be tense now.

childhood friends, people who maybe were of similar age and who attended different royal gatherings together. preferably friends who grew up together and sort of got up to shenanigans.

former friends, probably someone of similar age and take their royal duties more seriously. when milo began to fall into a more carefree lifestyle, perhaps they didn’t agree with his life choices and their friendship fell through.

exes / flings, probably a handful of them. given that he’s charismatic and outgoing, he’s likely to charm his way to a person’s heart if he takes interest in them / they take interest in him. him being facetious and not taking things as seriously as he should, things probably ended if / when it was expected for the relationship to be long-term or serious.

good influence, someone who sees the potential in milo’s turn in perspective and may tutor him in royal tricks, or is trying to help him get off the rails finally ( bonus: they’ve seen him do coke and are subtley trying to him him get his shit together there )

literally ? anything ? hit me the fuck up once again LIKE THIS or dm me on tumblr/discord and lets get some P L O T S goin my dudes

#buckingham:intro #intro post.#tw drugs #tw addiction #tw death #tw alcohol #anyhow this took way longer than i thought #y? bc i always write intro posts that are way too long #anyhow I'LL BE on in the morning 2 do more replies and write starters

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eddycurrents · 6 years

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For the week of 2 July 2018

Quick Bits:

Ant-Man & The Wasp #3 is another fun issue in this mini as Scott and his tiny alien friends try to come up with a way to rescue Nadia. I’m still highly impressed by Javier Garrón’s art on this series, as it continues to push inventive designs, combined with Israel Silva’s bright, bouncy colours.

| Published by Marvel

Astonishing X-Men #13 begins Matthew Rosenberg and Greg Land’s run on the title and it’s very well done. It kicks off what looks to be Havok’s redemption arc, but the road is very rocky and unlike say, Magneto or Sabretooth, he’s not being given too much slack from his former compatriots. This first issue has a good deal of Rosenberg’s trademark humour and some pretty decent art from Land, Jay Leisten, and Frank D’Armata.

| Published by Marvel

Avengers #4 made it dawn on me what this run reminds me of, Grant Morrison and Howard Porter’s run on JLA. It’s intelligently crafted, widescreen action with Jason Aaron, Paco Medina, Ed McGuinness, Juan Velasco, Mark Morales, and David Curiel pulling it off very, very well.

| Published by Marvel

Captain America #1 is great. Ta-Nehisi Coates’ debut on the series finally addresses the fallout of Secret Empire on a personal and emotional level and it leads to an incredibly compelling story of war and pieces, as a new threat begins to surface and we’re left in a world where people don’t know who to trust. The story is enriched immensely by Leinil Francis Yu, Gerry Alanguilan, and Sunny Gho’s artwork which is just incredible. Yu is a consummate storyteller and this book is just flawless with its visuals. I’m very interested to see where this creative team is going to take this story.

| Published by Marvel

Cosmic Ghost Rider #1 continues the fun that was to be had during Donny Cates, Geoff Shaw, and Antonio Fabela’s excellent run on Thanos, with Cates’ Interceptor/Reactor collaborator, Dylan Burnett taking on the art chores. You don’t need to have read the earlier Thanos series to come in here, but I still highly recommend reading that run. “Thanos Wins” was a damn good story and so is this. The irreverent humour is here in spades, the art is glorious, and Frank Castle’s new mission should be interesting.

| Published by Marvel

Dark Ark #8 takes a very interesting turn as Shrae confronts the monster of the deep plaguing Noah’s ark. Juan Doe’s designs for even more of the monsters, and the deep one, are amazing.

| Published by AfterShock

Deadpool #2 has more glorious art from Nic Klein. This is among the best art in a Deadpool series and the character has seem some pretty incredible artists work on him. I can again easily recommend the title on the art alone, but I do have to say that the story is growing on me. I like the somewhat serious yet patently ridiculous interplay between Klein’s art and Skottie Young’s dialogue, with some very nice humorous moments here.

| Published by Marvel

Death of the Inhumans #1 is going to break your heart. Even if you hate the Inhumans, this is pretty harrowing. Donny Cates, Ariel Olivetti, and Jordie Bellaire are crafting a tale of loss here and this issue really makes that loss feel real, the threat possibly inescapable, as the Kree threaten genocide. This is pretty epic and I’m anxious to see what happens next.

| Published by Marvel

Death or Glory #3 is a harrowing issue, cutting deep twice, once as we go on a trip through Glory’s past and once again in the present, with a few other punches for good measure. Rick Remender and Bengal are delivering an incredibly nuanced, well-thought out, well-illustrated crime tale here and I recommend it highly for everyone. Loving this series.

| Published by Image / Giant Generator

Delta 13 #3 reaches the point in the horror story where there are weird shenanigans going on, but the creature(s) haven’t yet revealed themselves to the crew. Steve Niles and Nat Jones are really milking the atmosphere they’ve established, it should be very interesting when the story explodes.

| Published by IDW

Doctor Strange #3 is labelled as an Infinity Wars tie-in and given that it advances the plot and whereabouts of the Time Stone, it is absolutely essential to the overall story (even if “Infinity Countdown tie-in” might be a better label at this current point). Mark Waid and Jesús Saiz deliver a mostly standalone story here, fleshing out some of the character development between Strange and Kanna, but this issue should have interesting ramifications on the wider Infinity Stones arc.

| Published by Marvel

Giant Days #40 sees the welcome return of Max Sarin to the art chores, coinciding with Ed moving back in from the hospital. I’m impressed with what John Allison does with the confrontation between Ed and Esther. It’s not at all what I would have expected, but it feels right.

| Published by Boom Entertainment / BOOM! Box

The Gravediggers Union #8 is the quiet before the storm, with Cole having a talk with his daughter before the end, trying to convince her to walk away from destroying the world. I still love how Wes Craig, Toby Cypress, and Niko Guardia have turned this huge, weird epic into a deeply personal story of a girl who feels betrayed by her parents. Very much looking forward to seeing how this concludes next issue.

| Published by Image

The Highest House #5 is another brilliant issue in this series that everyone should be reading. Everyone. The layers of characters, the intricacies of the plot, the absolutely amazing artwork, Mike Carey, Peter Gross, and Fabien Alquier are crafting a masterpiece here.

| Published by IDW

Hunt for Wolverine: Weapon Lost #3 takes a turn as the detective group searching for Wolverine find a Wolverine. As with the other Hunt for Wolverine minis, most of this looks to be shaping up to be a wild goose chase, but for the most part these are still interesting stories in their own right. Charles Soule gives us another cliffhanger at the end here, I wonder if it will end up like last issue’s?

| Published by Marvel

Immortal Hulk #2 I’d probably argue is even better than the first issue. While that feel of the lonesome wanderer that’s reminiscent of the television series and the Marvel Knights run from Bruce Jones is still present here, of a Bruce Banner terrified of the Hulk, the story here twinges a different flavour, Len Wein and Bernie Wrighton’s Swamp Thing. This issue taps into that feel of the reticent monster, hunting down things that are even worse. This is a great standalone tale from Al Ewing, Joe Bennett, Ruy José, and Paul Mounts.

| Published by Marvel

Incognegro: Renaissance #5 concludes this wonderful series, working out the final details leading up to Xavier’s murder. Like the original Incognegro graphic novel, Mat Johnson and Warren Pleece have crafted a wonderful mystery that weaves into it some very important, very interesting history and sociological themes. I’m hoping that there will be more.

| Published by Dark Horse / Berger Books

Infinity Countdown: Champions #2 makes some big changes, huge developments really, that make this issue absolutely necessary if you’re a regular Champions reader. Jim Zub, Emilio Laiso, and Andy Troy conclude this tale on a bittersweet note, including an epic confrontation between the team and Warbringer.

| Published by Marvel

Joe Hill’s The Cape: Fallen #1 reunites the team who adapted Joe Hill’s short story the first time around, Jason Ciaramella, Zach Howard, and Nelson Daniel, for a new mini set between the panels of the original story. While reading the original certainly informs this, I feel like you can still enjoy this new mini so far on its own merits.

| Published by IDW

The Last Siege #2 brings us round to gathering the pieces for the conflict between this last bastion against an upstart king, as well as the ramifications of capture and exile of Sir Feist. Like the first issue, the art from Justin Greenwood and Eric Jones is perfect.

| Published by Image

Medieval Spawn & Witchblade #3 incrementally advances us forward, giving us a fight between Spawn and one of the Queen’s minions and delivering a bit of exposition on the Witchblade’s legacy. I’m not sure if it’s in Brian Haberlin’s originals, since it kind of looks like he’s using digital models, or ultimately completely Geirrod van Dyke’s work, but the rendering on Spawn and Scourge’s armours looks incredible.

| Published by Image

Paradiso #5 returns with some incredible world-building as we learn more about the religion of the world as it is now and of some of the history and landmarks throughout the city. Everything about this series is amazing, with Ram V, Devmalya Pramanik, Alba Cardona Gil, and Aditya Bidikar, creating something very unique here.

| Published by Image

The Quantum Age #1 begins a new ongoing series in the Black Hammer empire, with Jeff Lemire riffing on the Legion of Super-Heroes, and Wilfredo Torres and Dave Stewart providing some beautiful artwork. I’ve loved what Lemire and his artistic collaborators in Dean Ormston, David Rubín, Max Fiumara, and Stewart have done previously, deftly working through the various different eras of comicdom (mainly with analogues to DC stuff), while still telling engaging surface level stories. This looks to be no different, although featuring a future gone wrong rather than the optimism of the usual LoSH stories.

| Published by Dark Horse

Submerged #1 is an enthralling first issue, with Vita Ayala, Lisa Sterle, and Stelladia capturing an almost perfect balance of magical realism, juggling between the fantasy and horror of the descent into the underworld and the mundane of Elysia’s family life.

| Published by Vault

Thief of Thieves #38 comes a little more than a year and a half after the last issue, with a transition from Andy Diggle to Brett Lewis on writing duties for this final arc. There’s a decided stylistic shift, from all out action to Lewis’ epistolary narration, but with Shawn Martinbrough’s art it still feels like a continuation of the overall story. It does a decent job recapping what happened previously in story through a flashback of Conrad’s last moments, but even as someone who’s read the rest of the series, I feel like I need to go back and re-read them again for full impact.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Transformers: Lost Light #19 adds a step away from zombie robots to the mix as the series races towards the end. There are a lot of moving parts coming together in James Roberts’ script, plot threads and characters converging from years of storytelling, and the payoff is pretty epic. It’s also really nice to see a return of IDW’s original Transformers artist, EJ Su. It seems fitting as everything starts coming to an end to return to the beginning.

| Published by IDW

Unnatural #1 begins republishing in English Mirka Andolfo’s Contro Natura, which was originally published by Panini in Italian. It’s definitely different for North American markets, but I welcome more translations and more funny animal books. Especially ones as good as Andolfo delivers here. The art is phenomenal and the story, putting forth a society that is oppressive in its reproductive rights, making taboo any number of unions that don’t follow conception, is a much needed one.

| Published by Image

Weapon X #20 continues this transition into a new incarnation of the team. It’s not as hard a break into the new as the solicitations and some of the ads would have you believe, continuing on the story of Omega Red and the Russian mutant death camps, but it’s working towards setting up a new status quo under Sabretooth’s lead. The humour and action from Greg Pak and Fred van Lente is still present, but they’re joined here by Ricardo López Ortiz, just recently having finished an arc on Hit-Girl, who brings a decidedly different verve to the story.

| Published by Marvel

Other Highlights: Ask for Mercy #2, Assassinistas #6, Cloak & Dagger #2, Dungeons & Dragons: Evil at Baldur’s Gate #2, Elephantmen: The Death of Shorty #2, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark #1, Ghostbusters: Crossing Over #4, Go Go Power Rangers #11, Hillbilly #11, Jazz Maynard #12, Jeepers Creepers #3, Jim Henson’s Beneath the Dark Crystal #1, Jimmy’s Bastards #9, Judge Dredd: Under Siege #2, Lowlifes #1, The October Faction: Supernatural Dreams #5, Paper Girls #22, Prism Stalker #5, Pumpkinhead #5, Red Sonja/Tarzan #3, Ruin of Thieves #3, Spawn #287, Spider-Man vs. Deadpool #35, Spidey: School’s Out #3, Star Trek: Discovery - Succession #3, Star Wars #50, Star Wars: The Last Jedi #4, Throwaways #14, Transformers: Bumblebee #1, Vagrant Queen #2, Xerxes #4

Recommended Collections: Animosity - Volume 3: The Swarm, Betty & Veronica: Vixens - Volume 1, Doctor Strange: Damnation, Fear Agent - Volume 2, James Bond - Volume 2: Eidolon, Quantum & Woody! - Volume 1: Kiss Kiss Klang Klang, Rogue & Gambit: Ring of Fire, Scales & Scoundrels - Volume 2: Treasurehearts, Skin & Earth, Sleepless - Volume 1, Spider-Man - Volume 4, Transformers: Wreckers Saga, Witchblade - Volume 1

d. emerson eddy often feels like a stranger in a strange land

#This Week in Comics

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welikeitspicyreviews-blog · 5 years

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Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino 2019 Essay (Open, Panti Sisters & Lola Igna)

The Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino (PPP) is a seven-day in length festivity of Philippine Cinema where new quality genre Filipino films are screened for seven days in every single normal film across the country. No foreign films will be screened during PPP with the exception of in claim to fame films to give the open door for the entire nation to commend its very own local films. This occasion is sorted out by the Film Development Council of the Philippines in partnership with the National Cinema Association of the Philippines. PPP’s mission is to recognize Filipino artistry in films, promote our country and its talents globally, protect our film cultural heritage, and empower every Filipino through film development and education. Over the most recent years, PPP has made a culture of help from the crowd and FDCP tends to proceed with this custom to persistently draw in film buffs across the country to belittle local films. The Film Development Council of the Philippines (FDCP) advances and supports the improvement and development of the local film industry as a medium for the upliftment of the aesthetic, cultural, and social values of the nation for the better understanding and appreciation for the Filipino character. A portion of the main Filipino movies to ever be produced using a century prior may feel totally exquisite, however its subjects do not: family, friendship, and love keep on resounding with many. What's more, with the 100th anniversary of Philippine cinema practically just around the corner, the coordinators of the Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino (PPP) disclosed their choice with featuring those components and to celebrate what these topics mean for us.

Romance is one of the most popular genres to watch, read and binge on. It is usually a genre where the story revolves around the love between two characters as they experience the highs and lows of love. Although most romance films end up with a happy ending ( e.g. guy gets girl, ends with a feel good 80s music and the like ), there are some that will leave you crying. Films like, Richard Linklater's ‘Before series’, Wong Kar Wai’s ‘Happy Together’ and Abdellatif Kechiche’s ‘Blue is the Warmest Color’ are one of my top picks. In Philippine Cinema, the most talked about romance film is Cathy Garcia-Molina’s One More Chance. The film became very iconic for its painful narrative and dramatic cheesy lines that gained a cult following in social media and are still very relevant today. It shattered the hearts of Filipinos because of its sad concepts about long-term relationships, self-worth and second chances. In this year’s Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino, there is one film that stood out for me because it reminded me of the iconic love story of Popoy and Basha without a clichè happy ending and the concepts of an open relationship.

Open by Andoy Ranay is a film about two lovers, Ethan ( JC Santos ) and Rome ( Arci Muñoz ) who have been in a relationship for almost 14 years until their relationship has gone stale so they both explored the idea of going open. But for me, the film is really about Rome trying to get out of a toxic relationship where she thinks love is enough for her to stay even if it means that person is going to disrespect and hurt her. But mostly, it's about finding one’s self-worth. The film introduces a controversial concept of a relationship where couples are allowed to see other people which I think the writers did great. Apart from introducing the concept of open relationships, they were able to show a form of emotional abuse seen from JC Santos’ annoying character.

The film didn’t focus on the open relationship a lot but I think it's a nice way to introduce it by giving the audience a disclaimer that this isn’t for everyone. When Rome starts to realize her worth, she was able to find her happiness. She finally was able to go back to her art and make a life all by herself. This cuts to Ethan realizing how toxic he was as a boyfriend through close-up shots of a wine bottle written “Rome” on it. Looking at the camera from the beginning till the end, its like going through a journey with her and from that, we were able to ask ourselves the same question, “Is this really what happiness feels like?” and in that moment, we are able to make that decision for her and for ourselves also. This cuts to a beautiful close up shot of rome, a few seconds before the credits start rolling. And finally, she is free.

The film starts with Rome and Ethan arguing about getting into an open relationship or breaking up. In here, we are introduced to the idea that their relationship is not going to end well. Since every time the camera cuts to a close up shot of Rome’s face, she appears as if she’s indecisive and unsure. This concludes that Rome’s selfless character enables Ethan to allow the toxicity of his character to worsen. Comparing this to One More Chance, the film starts with the same kind of set up without the idea of an open relationship. But the only difference is that the dominance lies in Bea’s character, Basha. She already knows what she wants while we are being introduced to the toxic behavior of Popoy. They both have similarities in their cinematic universe. They show the same concept of friendship, the realization of one’s self worth from a toxic relationship and lastly, finding happiness in a workplace. But looking through past films by the same production and Star Cinema, they share the same formula. What makes the two different from each other? Work wins over love while the other, the same cliché ending — guy gets girl. Maybe why I couldn’t stop comparing it to One More Chance because of the obvious similarities. Hopefully, time will come for Philippine Cinema that we will get to see new things rather than the generic formulas given by these productions. In the end, all we can do is hope, be patient and support the local independent films.

Another film-in-competition is entitled, Panti Sisters. It is a film directed by Jun Lana and its about a terminally ill father offers P100 million inheritance to the first of his three gay sons who can give him a grandchild. Starring Paolo Ballesteros, Martin del Rosario and Christian Bables. Alongside veteran actors, John Arcilla and Carmi Martin as their parents. It is obvious that the movie looks like its other predecessors since most of the cast are Jun Lana’s frequent collaborators. Jun Lana is known for making LGBTQ + themed films like, Ang Dalawang Mrs. Reyes, and Bakit Lahat ng Gwapo may Boyfriend? This director is the most youthful beneficiary of the Palanca Hall of Famer and champ of 11 Palanca Awards for Literature. Named the group top pick, he then won the Audience Choice honor, Best Production Design and Martin del Rosario won the Best Actor.

This film is something that the filipino masses should go and watch. Despite that there are scenes in the film which doesn’t feel necessary to the narrative of the story and there are some lines felt pushed just to prove a point but so far, all the sad passionate lines worked as a mainstream film. It explores a host of social issues that are especially timely and need to be addressed such as the worsening or increasing discrimination and hatred against people who are part of the LGBT community, whose sole purpose is to receive basic human riights and to be treated fairly, that they should still fight for their rights because they are also people who should be respected and viewed as equal to all of us. There is no requirement for them to change with the goal that they can be treated as animals and can't be viewed as a plague in the public arena. May everybody comprehend that the issues that happen in our general public are not simply in their locale. The greater part of us make issues little or enormous, they really add to the social issues in which we live. We should inquire as to whether we are a piece of the arrangement or would we say we are simply adding to the enormous issue? The film's story also discusses the devastating effects of the patriarchy that John Arcilla characterizes as their father, Don Emilio y Panti. They perform well and post-character improvement will see every one of the principal characters.

Inevitably accomplishing the foreseen acknowledgment and regard they ached for from their dad prompted enthusiastic or energetic goals of the issues in the story, these scenes were deliberately terrible because of their magnificent exhibition or featuring John Arcilla. We can contrast this work with movies at the Metro Manila Film Festival with similar formula. Much the same as the films that Vice Ganda has starred in, for example, Fantastica, The Super Parental Guardians, Beauty and the Bestie, Praybeyt Benjamin and other celebrities who are for the most part worked with Wenn V. Deramas who is known for these movies. These ‘Funny portrayals of LGBT films” are modest and you can't deny that they earn a place in all the blockbuster office since they have a huge part in mainstream films. Yet, when I contrast these movies with each other, The Panti Sisters is definitely has more substance which is why I think it deserves to be a part of the Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino, despite the fact that it takes after Wenn V's works. It gave the audience a lot of good points about social issues that most FIlipinos are afraid to talk about and it's something that we won't see in a Wen V. Deramas film. Regardless of how genuine or surely understood the primary characters are, interestingly, they offer equity to the character and they perform well. We trust that individuals comprehend and comprehend the significance of examination, that the film isn't only for the solace and happiness regarding an individual, it suggests generally for the good of one's own, it might have been made in the general public in which we live.

Lola Igna's movie is one of the films released at this year's Philippine Film Festival. It is directed and written by Eduardo Roy Jr. Angie Ferro is known for being the popular actress in the film industry as Lola Igna, with Yves Flores as Tim, Maria Isabel Lopez as Nida and Meryll Soriano as Ana, the main characters in the film. The film begins with a very mysterious and intriguing scene in which she performs her usual tasks. As she goes on with her daily activities, it is notably seen that flies were swarming around and she speaks to someone that isn’t shown by the camera. Lola Igna lived a simple life and could see her life alone in that cottage near a farm she owned. The film further showed that she had a family, Nida her granddaughter and his great-grandson Bok, the son of Nida. It is interesting to see that these are the only relative she has. As the story progresses, viewers are informed that Lola Igna's character may have earned the title of "the oldest living grandmother in the world." Lola Igna was so distracted that she didn't even understand why, all of a sudden everyone was paying attention to her. Lola Igna does not speak at all and often hurts people who visit her for the same reason that she does not know it. She is not used to this attention and she is very distracted. Lola Igna became an instant tourist attraction when the news of her being the oldest grandmother in the world was released. Merchandises of Lola were released due to her popularity. These merchandises were managed by her granddaughter, Nida.

As viewers, we could not help but feel that they were using Lola Igna in a wrong manner, to the point that her little house became a tourist attraction. It's sad to think that this is happening in the reality that there are people who will actually use you for their personal development and often these people are near you or your own family. But we also came to the realization that Nida's family would never have had enough income if they had just grown their crops and kept watch over the store. However it is not right that they are forcing Lola Igna to entertain those that visits her. In the first place, Lola Igna doesn’t want the attention she was receiving. Until a surprise came, her other great-grandson, Tim came who was Anna's grandson. Her eyes were full of happiness and it was wonderful to think that of Lola Igna’s age she would not forget about who were relatives were even after a long time. Tim is an aspiring vlogger. Amidst Tim’s visit, it’s not hard to think and doubt him for only using Lola Igna’s current popularity as clout. If one would ponder, why would Tim suddenly appear in the midst of this popularity and didn’t come before Lola Igna’s recognition as the “oldest grandmother in the world”. Our anguish and doubts over whether or not he was really a grandson were even more apparent when the only subject of his videos were the ones of Lola Igna only. As the story progresses, we discover Lola Igna's thoughts and feelings. With each passing day that she spent in this world she became increasingly depressed. To live this long is considered a blessing and a great curse. We thought at that moment that we did not want her to die not because of the title she could obtain but for the reason that she was loved in their village.She is not difficult to love or to understand but we know for ourselves that we are being selfish because of that request but do we realize in ourselves that she should not live for someone else? Especially, if Lola Igna wants to rest in peace and take away all the pain she feels in the moment. How many friends and loved ones did she witness being alive and eventually buried death? How many times would she feel this so much sadness? If you place yourself in her shoes, it is only natural to ask God to take you and rest in the suffering she has been feeling for so long. No matter how difficult her family is to accept her wishes, they know that her situation is not difficult to understand. This feeling of Lola Igna was confirmed by the scene where she wept as she invited her guests in for a chance to see and take pictures with her. Amidst entertaining the tourists, Lola Igna then collapses due to fatigue. Nida realizes that Lola Igna can no longer get the title and with this money, it is more important for Lola Igna to wake up and be with them. Following this incident, Ana had returned after a long period of time when she ran away from their village resulted in her sister Nida campaigning and planting resentment. Ana is currently pregnant and seems to be giving birth due to the size of her stomach. Ana took care of Lola Igna in addition to resolving her personal issues with her son Tim and her sister Nida. Lola Igna woke up in disbelief at what she was seeing. Because of their long absence of communication and news of Ana, they had come to their senses that Ana might be dead. Anna asks for forgiveness from Lola Igna and her sister Nida. Grandma Igna says no one should apologize, these scenes are emotional because they highlight the importance and essence of having a family. It seems like the events in the movie will signal the end of the movie but the scenes that follow are truly sad. Ana unintentionally gave birth with her son at the middle of the fields near Lola Igna's house. Viewers were supposed to be happy with the new family member but Ana did not make it alive after she gave birth. As one added to them, there was also a retraction. Lola Igna assisted Ana giving birth. When she has since refused to do it because for her it only increases her life when she helps give birth to babies. Her new great-grandson was born with a broken heart and mourning the loss of one of her grand daughter who previously came back after running away. The situation is so sad that everyone is settled and for the first time they are a whole family with Lola Igna still with them but now again the pain and loneliness of the old woman will be felt again. Anna died in the arms of her son Tim, it was hard to see your mother being at her last dying breath, with the thought that you could do nothing more to prevent it. Death is inevitable and a part of human life. Some might want death to just arrive and take them, like Grandma Igna. Is there anything she has to do in this world that she is not allowed to lose? The very last scene in the film is really attention catcher in a very effective way to ponder or think deeper to understand Grandma Igna's passionate and emotional expressions. She just stared at the audience and said nothing but her eyes spoke for her. What might be the thoughts inside her head? But the real question is, “what would you feel if you were in Lola Igna’s place?

A realization has come to mind that Lola Igna isn’t all about the title of being the oldest grandmother in the world. Lola Igna ponders on the topic of life and death. Rarely do we see films that swims through the simplest reality of life. This film had portrayed that aging can be very terrifying yet mighty. Lola Igna is an old woman who is so close to her last days of life but death seems to avoid her. She had witnessed people’s growth younger than her like the petals within a bud starts to grow to the point where after it blooms, it is withered. Lola Igna’s old age makes her rant about how death seems to have forgotten about her. She was in her time of life when she had surpassed almost every relative she knew. It is heartbreaking when things start to get closer to you, that’s when you most understand and accept it. This is death for Lola Igna. Death is not something that is a grievous end. For some, it is something to honor for death is peaceful and after that you have nothing to worry about. In the last scene where Lola Igna is seen holding a baby, the look on her face carries powerful emotions that strikes the heart of those who looks. It is the face of someone who is tired and afraid, but had no choice but to live and wait.

After watching all these films part of this year’s PPP, we came to ponder and commend the directors behind it. It is difficult to tell stories not quite the same as what is typically portrayed. It is difficult casting new faces and hope they’d be more effective than the big stars existing. It is hard and not easy as anyone had said. Having the opportunity to produce films is a privilege and not a right. Furthermore, with that privilege comes the test to make it well as other existing films. It's anything but difficult to state something significant, to get recognition and yell it out and you would already be able to advise the world what they need to hear. It is hard to state something important through the medium of cinema, set aside some effort to figure out how to utilize each component of film to state what you mean better. A complete film that doesn’t simply beat the cutoff time. This privilege comes with a big weight to produce films with substance and without shallow meaning.

For the future of Philippine cinema, we wish that the public audience would take risks out of their comfort zones in the movies they go out to see. How about we watch lighthearted comedies all we want like Panti Sisters or a love story like, Open. But at the same time, how about we also watch something different. Documentaries, thriller movies, sad movies, unusual movies, stunning motion pictures. Something that isn’t mainstream or the movie that is not the first choice of the general public. One example of this is Lola Igna. Movies are not just about feeling better or being enchanted or beginning to look all starry eyed at. Movies are also about feeling agitated, feeling startled and disappointed. It is likewise about sentiments of misfortune, of vulnerability, of rushes and amazement. Movies are about such a significant number of different things, as well, other than simply fun and love. We wish that you let movies make you something and not simply give you what you generally expect of it.

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meiizumi · 5 years

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Castle of Shikigami: An informal rant nobody asked for about my most obscure obsession to date

STOP i spent like 2 days writing this post and im only posting it on tumblr because it’s the one website i’m a member of that can hold the most text. i wanted to infodump somewhere...... read this to learn something i guess (´･ω･`)

Bad voice acting is the Peak of comedy to me, and while I was looking for something to laugh at one day, I found this game called Castle Shikigami 2 for the PS2. The US version of the game's dialogue is rife with machine translated text that makes no sense, and awkward voice acting to boot. They even have voice actors saying the wrong lines, voice actors speaking implied commands, and a few voice lines are left in Japanese. Apparently, Roger Craig Smith (Sonic the Hedgehog's current voice actor) was in this game but I don't think he's even credited?! I think I know which character he voiced but I’m not exactly sure.

The history behind this game’s localization is REALLY weird. Castle of Shikigami/Shikigami no Shiro was originally an arcade bullet hell shoot em up game. The series was created by Alfa System and it was one of Alfa System’s main IPs. There are three main shmup installments and a text adventure game for the PS2, Nanayozuki Gensoukyoku. Nanayozuki was practically fanservice for whatever number of CoS fans there were back then. Each main game in the series was originally an arcade cabinet, but they were all ported to PC and home consoles. In CoS 2′s case, it came out on the PS2, Gamecube, and Dreamcast, but only the PS2 version got localized. The western publisher, XS Games specializes in publishing quality budget titles such as “Bass Pro Shops: The Strike” for the Wii. I theorize they didn’t care too much about the actual content of CoS 2 and were more focused on selling a game quickly for a low price, so they just machine translated it and adjusted a few things. If you’re wondering if Castle of Shikigami 1 was also translated this badly, the answer is No. XS Games instead removed all the dialogue from the western release of CoS 1, and released it with the title “Mobile Light Force 2″.

“Wait, what do you mean ‘Mobile Light Force TWO’ if Castle of Shikigami 1 is the first game in the series?” If you want to know what Mobile Light Force 1 was, it’s GUNBIRD; another shmup game, but by a completely different developer than Castle of Shikigami. I don’t know why they did that. What really kills me though is that both MLF 1 and 2 use the same boxart, which is COMPLETELY unrelated to the actual contents of either game. AFJQHJFOKLJFDS look at this

There’s more hilarity behind Mobile Light Force that isn’t hard to find so you can search that up if you’re interested. But thankfully, Castle of Shikigami 3's Wii edition got more of a proper localization by Aksys Games.

Now I would bluntly say something like “stan castle of shikigami” but:

1. This series’ lore is insanely convoluted. It’s an essential part of this expansive fictional universe referred to as “Mumei Sekaikan” (I don’t know what this translates to in English) where there’s like, 7 different parallel worlds. There’s more obscure ass games and manga that are tied to this universe, and I think there’s even a tabletop RPG made based off it. Have you heard of “Gunparade March”? Most likely you haven’t; it’s an obscure video game made by Alfa System that also got adapted into an anime, and I feel it can be described as Mechas x Persona. One of the characters in CoS 2 is just one of the GPM characters going undercover to find her senpai who traveled to the CoS world. Or something like that. The 7-world universe isn’t explicitly talked about in the game but they make so many references to it without defining anything that it’s like you Must know about it. There is NO documentation in English about the Mumei Sekaikan I could find on the internet, although there is a wiki in Japanese where I got a ton of knowledge from (GOOGLE TRANSLATE IS MY TRUSTED FRIEND) I feel like I might be THE person in the United States who has the most knowledge on the Mumei Sekaikan, and I could go on another tangent talking about what I know so far (and who this one specific dude Shibamura Yuuri is) but I won’t.

2. The writing isn’t excellent and can be pretty Unwoke ™; the first game came out in 2001 and the third game came out in 2005 if that gives you a sense on what era these writers were in. As far as the games dialogue goes, the characters appear kind of flat. CoS 1 and 2 Kotaro (i refuse to use the official “Kohtaro”) is stupid and driven by JUSTICE to a point where it’s annoying. I can’t tell if Hyuga is trying to be a Ladies Man in CoS 2 and 3. Kim, a religious tae kwon do instructor, spends CoS 2 thinking about how he should atone for his sins, then he turns himself into jail at the end. Sayo’s backstory is that she was a shrine maiden raised as a “human weapon” to have no emotions and her only goal in life was to kill god and then die, something like that. However, after CoS 1, she gets a crush on Kotaro because he actually treats her like a human and Of course that’s what you’d expect from the main teen girl and boy in the series. In CoS 3, Sayo's character is mostly played out to be a major tsundere for Kotaro even though surprisingly HIS character in this game changed a ton compared to 1 and 2 (he had to kill an illusion of his older brother, who he learned actually died earlier, and now he has to kill an illusion of his childhood sweetheart... damb that shit sucks :/). He’s still stupid though

There’s a gag in CoS 2 that I can’t clearly remember where it’s like, Niigi makes Sayo and Fumiko, who are both romantically interested in Kotaro, think that he’s only into little girls? Meanwhile, Fumiko’s magic goes wrong and her appearance turns to that of a child though in response she’s like “hee hee maybe Kotaro will like this”. basically more On-Brand early 2000′s anime unwokeness than average. Speaking of Fumiko, she’s a 400+ year old militaristic witch who constantly teases Kotaro (who’s like 16 or 17) and she wants to marry him for his magical potential since he’s like one of the candidates for becoming God??? From the official CoS 3 character descriptions, “Her hobby is to steal the men from other women. Her second hobby is trampling upon people.” She canonically stole her stepmother’s husband from her stepmother (the 3rd boss of CoS 3). I don’t get how that shit would have worked

3. The game itself is HARD af but to be fair I’m a scrub gamer. I can’t get past stage 3 on easy difficulty without continuing. Yes i bought CoS 1 on Steam, Yes it has a port on steam i feel like i should have mentioned this earlier

4. Besides CoS 1 having a port on Steam, CoS 2 and 3 might be hard to obtain legally. The poorly translated CoS 2 was apparently super cheap back then, but since it’s an old game, its value might’ve increased. When I tried looking up prices for English CoS 3, all the listings were like at least $40 and being broke I wouldn’t want to spend more than $29 for a Wii game in 2019... honestly I just emulated CoS 2. shout out to PCSX2

Last month I was desperate, bored enough, and deep enough in the Shikigami rabbit hole that I tried to find the manga based off of it online. The CoS manga only tells the events of the first two games so I still don’t really get anything about CoS 3, like who Mihee, Batu, and Emilio are supposed to be. However, the plot events also differ. For example, Roger Sasuke exists as a character in CoS 3 but in the manga he literally Dies. There’s 11 total volumes of this; 3 volumes dedicated to CoS 1 and the latter 8 (the “Twisted Castle arc”) dedicated to CoS 2. Only the very first 3 chapters were scanlated to English all the way in 2011. Fortunately, I did find the entire manga uploaded though............... in CHINESE. So you know what I did? I “read” the entire thing using my phone’s Google Translate OCR app to take pictures of each page and comprehend the translations. Of course I still don’t understand CRAP because of the Mumei Sekaikan jargon + machine translation but I understood enough to get emotionally attached to some of the characters. I wish I hadn’t. At least through the manga I learned that the characters DO have some depth and pre-established relationships. For instance, the reason why Roger Sasuke became a ninja is because when he first landed in Japan as a kid, he was getting bullied or something and he didn’t know Japanese then Kotaro saw this and told the bullies to stop. Then after Roy /sorry i mean Roger learned that he was set to home-stay with the Kugas in the first place, he decided to dedicate his life to Japan in order to protect Kotaro back. I think. DO U SEE HOW ABSURD THIS SHIT IS Anyway Nanayozuki takes place between the second and third games and sets things up for CoS 3. There’s a full playthrough of it uploaded to YouTube and I think it contains a lot of juicy lore, but it’s just too much to go over with Shitty Google Translate OCR. There’s also Shikigami no Shiro novels which apparently contain the most backstory, but I have a 0% chance of finding these online for free. Not to mention that these would ALSO be too much effort to Google Translate.

in conclusion: You don’t HAVE to play Castle of Shikigami. Like, I’m not gonna recommend it for the content, but if you love shmups and are looking for a shmup game you haven’t heard of then I will recommend it for the gameplay (old touhou mutuals assemble theres a POWER-UP-BY-GRAZE MECHANIC). I’ve counted like 4 total fans outside of Japan that like this series for the story, and I don’t think that number is going to increase because I doubt CoS 2 will ever get retranslated and ported. I just want you to know that this series exists and that there’s a ton of wacky shit behind it besides the bad Castle Shikigami 2 dub. also if someone knows enough japanese or chinese and has an INKLING of interest in this series umm talk to me and help me decipher stuff

I‘m kinda sad that the series is pretty much Dead though. This is the most recent piece of official Castle of Shikigami art I could find, and this was for the 2018 New Year. The next most recent piece of official CoS art I found was also drawn by the character designer Sonoda Miku all the way in January 2008, commemorating the end of the CoS manga serialization. Alfa System released a spiritual sequel to Castle of Shikigami on the Japanese Switch eShop called Sisters Royale, with character designs I think are still by Sonoda. By “spiritual sequel” I mean that it has some of the EXACT same shot types as CoS and the same mechanic where grazing bullets increases your power and score. This is the closest we’ll get to a Shikigami no Shiro 4. I wonder what the business decision behind that game was but it actually looks like fun and I want to play it so OK Go off i guess

#bees are good #castle of shikigami #shikigami no shiro #video games #i feel: DISEASED

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megatraven · 3 years

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who’s your favourite LI from each series you’ve read? :o and why?

*claps hands together* ALRIGHT!!!! (warning: as i typed i grew more and more long-winded and i dont apologize for it but u should kno)

alright obviously i have to start off with Astoria, of which Alex is my favorite LI! I'm not gonna go into why because *gestures to entire blog* and i've made multiple posts about it

from Immortal Heart Society, it's definitely Emilio thus far. admittedly i havent tried reading the other two, but I like emilio a lot! he's really grumpy and weary it seems, but i find the grumpiness charming and the weariness feels like it's there to be driven away by mmc's fresh approach and excitability. he's fun so far!

from My Siren Crush, I gotta say it's Maxime so far!! he and Arianna only have 6 episodes each so it's hard to say, but i LOVE his personality and how sweet he is. I really like that he's shy and that he does a lot of different kinds of art, and how gentlemanly he is!

from Ever After Academy, it's definitely Arin!! Sure they've only got one season so far, but they were my favorite character almost right off the bat, before we even knew they'd be getting a route! I love how much they care about the people around them and ho they do their best to do the right thing, how they take on so many responsibilities and are willing to do so again and again, if that's what it takes to get a happy ending for everyone. they're so funny, too, and i just really am a slut for the dynamic they have with fmc, the HISTORY....... incredible

from Tales of the Wild, it's Bram!!!!!!!! my sweet bear boy, he's so kind and gentle and strong and Stubborn af..... i really really love bears so i knew i was a goner the instant we were able to vote for him to be a new LI. his route is really interesting so far, too, what with MC being a dinae whose animal form was stolen! he cares so much about her and just wants to keep her safe, to the point he makes a Very Important Oath to her... like......... he cares her....... its so sweet..

from Reigning Passions it's gotta be Xenia!!! :D i admit i have a Slight obsession with spider-people, and the moment I saw her i knew that I was gonna love her to death. when she got a route i was so overjoyed! she's just. so genuine in everything that she does, she does her best to truly do what's right and what's good for the kingdom, and for mc. she's incredibly smart and resourceful, her magic is SO COOL, and she's just really really gorgeous. i like her dry sense of humor and her blushing sprite...... i love that she slowly gives her trust to mc, and confides to her about personal matters such as her late husband, and how she clearly still loves him even whilst loving mc. she feels like such a unique character, i really just adore her <3

from Sin With Me, i've gotta say my favorite atm is Onyx! I love all the routes, but DAMN onyx's really went all out with making her a fucking DRAGON?!??!?!?!? queen shit. she was also a really unique route in that she dealt with a lot of trauma from past abuse and had to learn to open up about it and accept that what happened t her wasn't right, and that she wasn't a failure for it. it had such a strong found family feeling, even compared to the other routes. everyone just wanted her to be happy. they accepted mc into their ranks quickly because she made onyx happy, and that's all the troupe wanted. and she is so pretty and funny..... she's so CUTE...... and i think it's one f the few cases where the LI is shorter than the MC?? idk she's just. so badass, and i loved her route to pieces!!!

from Sweet Enchantments my favorite is Lucien! (with a shoutout to emeril for close second)! the character growth he undergoes in his route is just ASTOUNDING, it's written and paced so well, i can't help but love it and him!!! also one of my favorite colors is turquise and thats His Color(tm) so im a hoe for that. i just. really my big thing with him is that he grows and flourishes into such an incredible character, so sweet and humble. he's also a very very funny LI (imo), and i love seeing him interact with all the other sweets characters! his cgs are the most gorgeous things...... there's a scene where he takes mc into the human world, to a cafe so she can call her parents, and it's so sweet. there's another where he takes her out and plays soccer with her. he just cares so much about her and her wellbeing, and even when he gets afraid that she'll leave him (when she's feeling homesick especially), he talks it out with her and learns to move past those feelings. he promises himself to her before he's even out of Sweets, and i just.......... it's so romantic and precious ;O; <3

from Havenfall it's always gonna be Mackenzie!!!!!! she was my VERY FIRST lovestruck route so she is always going to have a very special place in my heart. plus i mean. LOOK AT HER. her cute face and her CUTE WOLF EARS <333 she's so cool and nerdy!!! she's so STRONG!!! her protective streak is so charming and endearing..... the way that she forgives annabelle and damien and accepts them into her little supernatural family is really precious <3 she's so strong and that strength comes not only from her, but from her bonds with everyone else, and it's...... magical. it really stole my heart and sold me on lovestruck!!

from Love & Legends my favorite (so far) is Alain! I've only read three full routes so far, but Alain is incredible despite the shortness of his route. afaik it's the only route where the mc actually has magic (which i like), and they're ACTUALLY childhood friends to lovers in that mc is a reincarnation across time and space of his childhood friend. he's so cool and sweet, he would do absolutely anything for her because he loves her so so much. which is definitely one of his faults and what led him to being one of the Witch Queen's generals, but when mc came around......... you could tell he was so broken hearted by everything, but that he couldn't bear to not love her, even when it made him bad. and you can see that love again, when mc is selfish, and he leaves her out of anger in chicago. he keeps an eye on her despite his anger and his hurt, because his love is that strong. at some point, this one god speaks and says that alain's route is the only one of his lifetimes that doesn't end in tragedy, where he gets to be happy. i lvoe that trope so much even though it hurts so much. in the other two routes i've finished, he can't leave the witch queen's side, because she's that friend he knew, who he's loved for so long. in his own route, he's only able to leave the witch queen because he finds mc- a glance into what the witch queen could have been. who she should have been. someone kind and strong, who would love him, too. i dunno. his route is just really amazing and so is he :)

in Starship Promise......... it's a hard choice, but i have to say Nav ;O;; whenever i think of nav i think of that one fucking scene........ the one that broke my heart and made me cry for like Days. Stop him. Stop him. Stop him. gods, that was an incredible scene, i don't think i'll ever get over how powerful it was. not to mention... SALAD BOY!!!!! nav is Also a very funny character. he's a secret sadboy who tries to hide it with his charm and good looks, which, A for effort bud. he ends up being unable to leave mc behind, because- even though it scares him- he's fallen for her. his story is really incredible, he's an amazing character and it was wonderful to see him get the justice he deserved.

for Villainous Nights, i'll have to say my favorite LI is Lorelei! :D i'd say renzei and juliette are super close seconds tho. but Lorelei!!!!!!!!! I think she was one of the first routes I read following mackenzie, and she was definitely the first I read from villainous nights! i loved how strong and silent she was, and how much she loves coffee, and how she can make the earth quake. i always loved how hard she tries, how much effort she puts into being in control of herself, how much she does to try making things right. she did bad things in the past, blinded by optimus' promise to do good. and when she realized it, she couldn't stay with them. she turned her back on them and did her damned best to make up for all the hurt she caused. she loves the earth and its people and its nature, and she wants to keep it all safe. she had a broken heart, but with mc by her side, she's finally able to heal and find closure that she couldn't get before, on her own. not to say every LI isn't unique, but lorelei's is another route that just really stood out from the others. her panic attacks, the way she goes mute when she's overwhelmed, how the earth trembles when she gets angry or afraid and how she tries to push her emotions down to stop it........ i havent any of that- especially her muteness- in any other LI in the app. (not that ive read every story yet). lorelei is really incredible and i love her lots my butch wife ;O;

for Queen of Thieves, it's DEFINITELY Nikolai! first and foremost he's demi!!!!!!!! which i was so excited to find out about!!!!!!!!!! that made me instantly love him, and i think that ended up being the reason why i finally started reading QOT at all. i'll take all the a-spec rep i can get, thanks. aside from that, his route is just..... incredibly well-written. everything about it feels like it has this quiet intensity, which matches him perfectly. his self-sacrificing bullshit..... his truly tragic backstory........ how he came to make the poppy........ ho much he loves his little family, how much he loves mc, how much he loves ELIZABETH......... there's nothing abut nikolai that i dont love. he's so smart, but so fucking stupid sometimes, it's the best. he's the best. that first night, in his last season i believe, when he didn't have a nightmare for the very first time ever........... i don't know if i have ever been so happy for a fictional character before. i was so overjoyed for him. he's an incredible character and so, so interesting and multi-faceted, i can't imagine anyone else taking place for my #1 qot character :^)

and last but not least.... Gangsters in Love! My favorite here...... changes a lot, i'm not even gonna lie. it's ALWAYS constantly changing between chance, rory, and ash. like. i just can't pick one. so i wont go into as much detail here as the other paragraphs, but chance is just so FUNNY and dumb like yeah he's a badass ganglord wh orides a motorcycle but also he wears a shirt with a stupid little frog on it i LOVE him. i love how much he loves his gang, how much he loves mc. and ash... who WOULDNT love ash? he's such a sweetie and his smiling sprite makes my heart stumble and he's a dog person???? dream man. he's so silly and cute, he does his best to protect the gang and find justice for his sister, it's so admirable ;o;; and RORY!!!! rory is so badass and cool, she's wicked smart and kinda reckless but in the most charming way. i always really appreciated that her route touched on her alcoholism and showed her growing past it. i loved her character growth in general, and i ESPECIALLY loved how she acted towards stella and how she grew to love her.

that's..... that's it, i think!!!! :0c thanks so much for asking!!!!

#meg speaks #lovestruck voltage #lovestruck

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lieutenant-amuel · 2 years

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In the Wattpad comments you mentioned you had a different scenario for Valerio and Emilio’s scene where Valerio was more sassy. Do you still have a draft of it? Or maybe you could say why you decided to change it?

Gladly!

Here comes that scene, and then, I give you an explanation why I decided to change it.

“What were you talking about with my wife?!” He exclaimed, approaching Valerio who just a moment ago was calmly packing up his stuff. He raised his head and rolled his eyes, “Don’t you dare rolling your eyes at me! Answer my question!”

Valerio sighed heavily, “I think since you met her, she told you everything. There’s no point in repeating her words.”

“Are you kidding me?” Emilio scoffed, “I can’t believe you can be even more annoying.”

“I can say the same about you,” Valerio replied remaining calm, “I don’t know if the purpose of your visit was yelling at me and slamming my door, but I have to go.”

Valerio was about to take his bag, but Emilio pressed it with his hand and stood in front of him, not letting him go, “So, now, you’re ‘a calm and wise Señor Álvarez’ again, yeah? You don’t need to play that role to me. I saw your true face.”

Valerio took a deep breath to keep himself calm, “It was a mistake what happened then. I can assure you a behaviour like that is not common for me. I’m not you, after all.”

Emilio’s breath got rapid, and clutched to Valerio’s bag. He was about to speak, but was interrupted, “You know, Emilio. I genuinely feel bad for your children. Considering your temper, I bet you always take out your anger on them no matter what they did.”

“Don’t you dare talking about my children! Do you really think the way I treat you is the way I treat everyone? Lower your ego, Álvarez. And you know, even if you were right, you’re not the one to teach me how to take care of children. You’re just a pathetic egoist who pretends to care about others, but in fact you live just for yourself. You never loved anyone. You’re single. You don’t have children and never ha-“

“Shut up!” Valerio abruptly got up from the desk and pushed Emilio, “You know nothing about me, so keep all your assumptions to yourself.”

Emilio staggered and raised his head, looking at Valerio with widened eyes, “What do you mean?”

“Just leave me alone. And don’t make me cross another line,” He took his bag, glaring at Emilio, and left his classroom.

As he was walking, he kept fiddling with his collar until he hid behind the corner, hoping nobody would see him. He looked at his tote glove and whispered, “Now is definitely the time for a big step.”

(First of all, this is a draft I never edited and never showed to my beta reader, so if this is too ugly to read, I’m sorry)

And an explanation why I changed it. Now, when I translated and got a chance to re-read it, I can clearly see why, lol. Firstly, this is way too negative and heavy with no particular reason, plus I think this is a bit blank? Like, it’s supposed to be an emotional scene, but eventually, it’s just two grown up men yelling at each other.

Anyway, the main reason I changed it (and I changed it quite quickly, actually. While translating, so this scene never got a chance to be translated until today) was Valerio’s OOC-ness. I mean, generally, Valerio is a soft and empathic person, so this behaviour is actually not common for him (unless you make him like super furious, but you need to be extremely annoying at this point), especially considering what he learnt about Emilio just a moment ago. He genuinely understands how he feels and wanted to help him (yes, maybe deep inside he also hoped it would make Emilio leave him alone, but then, he really prioritized Emilio’s feelings, not his own safety)

Which leads to another reason. Valerio’s final decision towards Emilio will be, well, quite questionable, so him being kind during this scene also makes him more complicated. He’s not just a scared mean man who wants to protect himself at all costs, forgetting about others. He’s a genuinely kind person who wants to defuse conflicts and find solutions to get along with Emilio.

I probably revealed too much, but thank you for the ask! I’m glad you got interested in this!

#Ask me anything #Reading this scene you really can say how mean I am lol #Ngl I’d love to save the ‘lower your ego Álvarez’ line but it didn’t fit anywhere in the new scenario #And as you can see I didn’t change Emilio’s lines much #his acting was supposed to be the same so I simply edited it a little #And you know Valerio’s original acting completely erases the meaning of the line ‘I understand how you… and Emilio feel’#so yeah I have no idea what was wrong with me when I was writing it #Anyway sure Valerio is not an angel and he was sassy to Emilio in the 7th and 10th chapters #but he didn't know anything about him #He hated him and he hated him #At the beginning Valerio tried to get along with Emilio but it was in vain so he decided not to try anymore #But in the latest chapter everything is different because Valerio geta to know Emilio better and he UNDERSTANDS how he feels #To put it simply Valerio simply didn't care much about Emilio to understand why he was treating him like that #So yeah sort of it might be considered as his fault as well that he and Emilio became enemies #All problems come from the fact that people simply don't know how to talk to each other #and then they realize it's too late to change anything #or?

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lieutenant-amuel · 2 years

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How do you create your characters? Any tips or something?

Thank you for the ask!

Honestly, I wouldn't say that I'm a person you should ask for any tips ×) in this area, at least.

Anyway, I'll just tell you how I usually come up with any ideas, and you absolutely don't have to follow it, it's just the way that is the most comfortable specifically for me.

Generally, I usually need to base my ideas on something. When it comes to personality, I usually appeal to the MBTI or Zodiac Signs (I also tried to work with Enneagram, but it's difficult for me to get it yet ×)) as those are the personality topologies I'm familiar with the most. Of course, I don't write a personification of any of those existing types, so my characters do not 100% embody them. But it helps to choose some specific and unique traits and understand in what direction to develop and show character's behaviour.

Another important factor for character's personality is their past, specifically connected with the family atmosphere they had. It doesn't have to be excessively angsty and dramatic (really, please, don't create drama for drama, it feels super fake), but rather show how the family dynamics were affecting characters' life and points of view. I personally like psychology and try to make everything to have a reason, even though I may be bad at making it come true ×) Generally, family dynamics and dynamics with other people are really helpful to make your characters realistic and multi-layered, as they help to make your characters interact with different people differently.

At this point, Emilio is probably the best character of mine, because he acts like a total jerk only when he's around Valerio as he doesn't like him (for reason, anyways). I haven't told enough about him yet, but I can assure you that he's not completely obnoxious.

Anyway, what comes to my other characters, I didn't make Ángel's parents divorced jusy to show how positive and bright people can express deep emotions too or just because he's my personal favourite and make faves suffer is extra enjoyable. It had some influence on his personality and generally on how he perceives the world, and I'll really try to portray it properly.

The same for Frida. Her difficult relationship with her parents is one of the most (if not the most) important part of her character, and again, I'll try to give it justice.

I'm not sure what to say about characters' arcs and developments, as I haven't 100% figured it myself ×) but I think that the main thing about it is to understand your characters' main flaws and show how they work on it and try to improve themselves. It works in case of Ángel and Frida in my story, as Ángel is literally a ball of flaws and it will bother him at some point. Frida is too self-sacrificing and shy, so it will be important for her to learn how to speak up and generally show her strengths to others, specifically her parents.

Also, I think this is important to give your characters some hobbies. It makes them very much humans.

I can't say much about the appearances, because, honestly, I have a clear picture only of Fausto, Ángel, Frida, and maybe Valerio ×) Anyway, I think you just don't need to limit yourself. If you want your characters to have different body types or unique facial features, go for it. The only thing that keeps me in line is genetics and generally specific ethnic features. Literally all of my OCs are latinos, so I will never make them have light skin or blonde hair. Plus, I think it's also important to remember the time when they live. The fashion of our time and previous centuries are super different, so I wouldn't make any of my OCs follow the modern trends. But again, it's just me. As long as your concept fits your character and your story, you're good.

Anyway, despite the fact that I'm overall so thoughtful and such, most of the best ideas I came up with were spontaneous. I had a very vague concept of Valerio when I just got to writing, but now, he's literally the best written character of mine (I think so, at least ×)) He's got a backstory, a quite clear personality, hobbies, suspense around himself, and a more active character arc in the future. He was interesting, he is interesting, he will be interesting, and I really hope that I'll be able to make it properly.

But I didn't spend hours of figuring out how to build his concept. I've simply got a specific idea, and it kept developing in a natural direction. I can't give any examples yet, as Valerio is the main source of intrigue in my story now, but you'll definitely see it someday.

And I think that's it? Honestly, I don't have any more to say, but I hope it was helpful in any way!

#Ask me anything #Valerio my beloved

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ais-n · 6 years

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hi ais! so i while ago you talked about an au where boyd was kicked out of his house as a teen and went to the bowery early and everything happened when he was much early and then hsin and boyd meet at a party of emilio's and i was wondering what boyd's mental state and personality would be at that point? like, what would boyd be like if he had gone on to forakis but he wasn't with the agency?

Hi! :D

You know, good question... I’m trying to remember if in that AU Lou was dead still. I think I had it in my mind he was because that would be why he would end up on the street instead of at Lou’s. So if Lou were dead, and that AU all went down as I’d imagined it, I feel like he’d have a bit more twisted of a personality, or like, more ... how would I word it?

He wouldn’t have anything to look forward to in his life, so a lot of his internal hope and belief in any kind of decent future would be gone. His trust in other people would also be gone. He still had some when he started at the Agency, but if he were with Cyclone all that time, he would have lost it.

Basically, he would have a lot less faith in humanity. He would actually probably be a bit more like Hsin was in the beginning of Evenfall combined with how Boyd was when he first came back from Forakis: expecting the worst from everyone, thinking no one will do a good deed, thinking everything is a way to hurt others. But unlike where Boyd was really closed with his expressions in early Evenfall, I feel like he may have developed a way of masking his true feelings through a more expressive face. He might smile a bit more, but it would all be manipulation, and it wouldn’t reach his eyes. He would be really calculated in the way he approached and dealt with people, constantly trying to figure out the best way to manipulate the situation to keep himself in the least likely chance of being hurt, kind of doing his Agency Valentine stuff to keep people distracted as a way of protecting himself.

I feel like I’m doing a bad job of explaining it but he would probably on the surface seem a bit friendlier, a bit more conversational and approachable than he was in the Agency, but it would be the opposite. Like maybe a better way of saying it is he would be reversed: whereas before he was kind of friendly on the inside but seemed super reserved on the outside, in the AU he would probably seem friendlier on the outside but would be way more distrustful on the inside. Whereas in the Agency, when Boyd eventually started smiling at people it was a genuine thing, in the AU he would smile more but never mean it. He would have a lot more hatred and distrust in his heart.

He would probably have a cruel streak, too -- not go out of his way to physically hurt others or anything, but if anyone tried to act like they genuinely cared about him, or were really trying to help him or in any way saw him as an actual human being, he would try deflecting and use his manipulation skills up until he felt backed into a corner and then he would probably have a really biting tongue on him, ripping into the other person the way his mother does in an attempt to tear them down before they try breaking him down further. Because he wouldn’t believe for a second they were actually genuine or if they were that they would stay around, so he would want to protect himself at all costs because that would be the only way he would know how to survive.

The drugs might affect this all too, so he may be a lot more laissez-faire about a lot of things, because he just wouldn’t feel emotions properly.

I feel like he also would have a protective streak for his roommates and maybe some other people who were trafficked like him. I could imagine a temper on him for certain topics, depending on circumstances. It would probably get him in trouble so he would probably have learned to avoid it if he could but he would have such hatred and anger in him, pushed down deep, and such belief that there’s no real humanity in other people, that he would have times where he would rather get in trouble himself than let something that pissed him off pass him by without saying anything.

Because of all of this, if he met Hsin in these circumstances, he would see Hsin probably the way Hsin saw Boyd in early Evenfall: just another short-lived interaction, someone who can’t truly be trusted, someone who can’t understand. He may seem friendly and whatever with Hsin but he wouldn’t believe Hsin for a second if Hsin was nice to him or at least wasn’t evil to him. It would take him some time to trust him. But if Hsin were to tell him his own past, it may make him less guarded around Hsin, and he may even become protective of Hsin because he would identify with some of Hsin’s past. So it would actually be interesting to see the way they interacted, and see if they still feel drawn to each other, and if so if Hsin would feel Boyd was more trustworthy in this circumstance and whether that would matter in the way they dealt with each other.

Of course, I say all this but I never know if it would turn out like this way if ever the AU were written out. I usually only know for sure how Boyd will think or react when I’m literally writing it, because so much of him is based on emotionally connecting with his various mindsets.

#ask ais #icos #in the company of shadows #aus #Anonymous

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