#The younger person does not have to greet the older one (e.g ‘how are you?’); they only need to say the address form

[anti-cyra]

How I make my c.ai bots ♡

I received an ask about how I format/code my c.ai bots and my answer ended up really long, so here it is in a post instead! Hope this helps anybody interested in making c.ai bots hehe.

For this, I made a Tutorial Bot with a public character profile and definition! You can check him out here. There's some plot there if you wanna keep talking to him and try out how the coding works, but please take note he's not meant to be a real c.ai coding expert!

Below the cut, I’ll be sharing the method I’ve been using for my more recent bots (most of the LOVER series, LADS bots) which has been working best for me, but also general tips and tricks I’ve learned from making all my bots. In this case, I’ll be focusing on single character bots.

(If anyone wants help on how to make multi-character bots as well, just let me know~)

So if you want a quick and easy to learn tried and tested method, feel free to keep reading!

1. I keep important plot, character details and backgrounds (e.g. if they're rivals, anything like if one's a prince, setting, etc.) in the Greeting/Prompt since I believe c.ai goes back to the first message a lot, so it's a good basis for how the bot should go. I'm so glad they extended the character limit lol.

The Greeting also sets the tone for how the narrative will go and follows the format of whatever’s written. In my case, I like adding my character’s thoughts in italics throughout the story as like a “behind the scenes” for the users aside from just dialogue and narration.

C.ai doesn’t always keep the thoughts in the replies, but most of the time they do, or I reinforce it by choosing replies that have both dialogue and that thought bubble.

Regardless, a detailed yet not overcrowded Greeting does wonders for your bot! 2. If I need to refer to the character or the user, I use {{char}} instead of any names and {{user}} because I think this doesn’t confuse the bot. I’ll add more to this in further points and you’ll see how it’s used.

3. For the Description portion, I put the appearance, personality traits, and other details I want to prioritize, or even a quick backstory A) Appearance: I usually add the hair, eye, skin colour and then, anything specific to be noted like scars or tattoos. Sometimes I add the height and build if needed. Unless what they wear is important to the story, I don’t bother adding it. B) Personality traits: I tend to just use basic, one-word adjectives or how I want them to act. Examples that I use often include: Quick-witted. Tsundere. Cold, stoic, stern, calculating. Sweet. Flirty. Teasing. Obsessive. Likes to bicker. Physically attracted to {{user}}. Delusional. Crazy in love with {{user}}. Bratty. Whiny. Cocky. Cheeky. Playful.

Since my bots aren’t in 2nd Person POV, I use {{user}} instead of “you” (e.g. In love with you) but I’ve seen other bot makers do either of the two and I think the bots go well regardless. C) For other details, it can be: - A one-sentence backstory to the character or your plot, like where the bot is from, their occupation, the past between them and the user, even their age either specifically or just if they’re older or younger or even the same age as the user if it matters - How they act or treat the user or why they act a certain way, if you think it's important to how they should act throughout the story - You can also make the personality more defined, such as "flirty but in a subtle way" or "teasing but hides their feelings" In general, these are all important details of how your character will act or remember more, regardless of whatever situation is thrown at them, and it's the "core" personality or how they react to situations, I'd say. 4. For basic plot bots, I've only been using the Greeting and Description to form the bot, and I think it’s been going well. If your bot isn’t lore-heavy, this is fine. You can totally stop reading here, but if you want to reinforce or specify things, then this is where the Definition portion comes in!

A few coding things to note: There’s a difference between using [], {{“”}}, () or (()) in the Definition. I’ve seen other people say [anything like this] is hard coded whereas {{“these”}} work for choices or ((these are optional)). I’ll be honest, this is confusing, and I’ll only talk about how I do things since I’m not super sure about everything either.

For the Definition portion, here’s a few things I do:

My first line is always {{char}} = Name just so the coding is aware of the character, to be safe.

A) I reinforce my character’s role and also the user’s role. In general, I’ve been focusing on only using [this format] with concise sentences that I want to stick with the bot.

e.g. [{{char}} is {{user}}’s roommate.] [{{user}} is a princess.]

B) [This method] is also what I’ve been using for other important details that either didn’t fit in the Description or that I want the bot to keep remembering, so I add it everywhere. I don’t add too much of this since the coding can only remember certain things. I add whatever I think is relevant to the character or the plot.

e.g. [{{char}} doesn’t drink human blood.] [{{char}} flirts with {{user}} a lot, but won’t admit his feelings.] [{{char}} is from the Kingdom of Dauros.]

C) If you want to limit the bot’s choices or answers to a specific thing or pool of things, this is where the {{“”}} coding comes in for me! This is especially useful for keeping track of specific names, lists, goals, and such. I feel like this really codes the bot to only choose this thing or act in line with what’s added here.

I think goals really reinforce how a character acts, in any situation. So if you feel like your bot needs to do more of a thing or direct them towards a path, I’d suggest this.

In this case if needed, I use the character’s name instead of {{char}} just because I don’t know how it works if it’s {{{{char}} <- like that lol. Anyway, here’s examples!

{{Name’s goals: “be the very best”, “love {{user}} completely”, “hide his feelings”, “fight well”}}

{{Name’s kingdom name: “Dauros”}}

{{Name’s family members: “Name”, “Name”, “Name”}}

{{Signs that Name is stressed: “smokes”, “fidgets a lot”}}

{{Name’s appearance: “Black hair”, “Grey eyes”, “Scar on right cheek”, “Only wears black clothes”}}

D) A few other things I've added to my Definition portion include: setting, backstory, a brief overview of other relevant people and their personalities so my character is aware, even sometimes longer and detailed statements that the bot can maybe study. E) If I really want something to stick to how my bots act in particular, I also use the {{char}}: coding instead. Since it gets read as dialogue that has already happened, it's something your bot likely remembers. It could either be in narration, a sample of how dialogue works, or even thoughts.

I think that's all for how I make my bots! ♡ When it comes to training your bot, just keep talking to them, rate replies you like, and reply to the best ones. I don't usually rate 1 stars for replies I don't like, I just ignore it, and focus on rating 4 stars for the ones I do like.

If you've read this far, I do hope this helps. Feel free to leave me your bots so I can try them out~

#ai character #ai chatbot #anticyra #beta c.ai #beta character ai #c.ai #c.ai bot #character ai #character ai chat #chat bot #askanticyra #c.ai guide #guide

[writingwithcolor]

Hi! My main character is a Korean girl who will be away from her family over Korean New Year. How would she celebrate this holiday when she's not able to be around family? Has anyone had any experience of this when you were away at school/college for the holiday? Or is it a holiday that absolutely necessitates going home and being around family? Thanks in advance :)

Celebrating Korean New Year with no family around

Oh, this is a great question. This isn’t an uncommon experience, and it’s only become more likely because of the pandemic.

National Holidays in general

Seol (Korean New Year) and Chuseok (Korean Harvest) are the National Holidays in Korea; they’re the only holidays where we are guaranteed at least three consecutive days off - the day itself, the day before, and the day after. If any of the days coincide with the weekend, then the government also compensates for it with the same number of additional days off. This is at least in part to make sure that people whose families live far apart get at least one day to travel to their families, a day to relax and enjoy, and a day to get back home. Because of this, most people do manage to see their family for Seol and Chuseok.

I’ve seen plenty of college students who just decide to study or do part-time work instead, and this goes the same for working adults. More women might choose to not go home, because Confusianist expectations mean women are far more likely to be put to work with cooking traditional dishes and whatnot, especially if they’re married.

Seol (Korean New Year)

Now, what do Koreans do on Seol? 

Four things come to mind immediately:

we eat tteokguk

have charye

give sebae 

play yut 

Between these, charye and sebae are impossible to do without your family, but I’ll mention them anyways.

1) Charye

I’ll keep charye brief because this is also done on Chuseok, so this doesn’t quite define Seol the way Sebae does. Charye is the most commonly performed memorial ceremony for our deceased ancestors, up to and including your own parents and your spouse if they’ve died. The actual ceremony varies by region and family, but most usually include setting up a ceremonial table with a selection of food according to both tradition and the deceased’s personal preferences, lighting up incense, and pouring spirits. Once the ceremony is done, the prepared food is eaten by the participants, and many families often tell stories of what the deceased were like in life.

Because charye has its roots in both Confucianism and ancestor worship, both of which are losing influence in the modern day, there is a growing number of families who choose to skip or simplify the ceremony, and the food is more often bought or replaced with mockups. A lot of Christian families also don’t perform charye as they feel it’s too close to idolatry.

2) Sebae

Sebae is when people give deep, formal bows to the elders in their family, and by bow, I mean something like the picture below. The hanbok (traditional Korean clothes) isn’t necessary, and most teens and above skip wearing it, but parents love to dress up younger children if they can afford it.

Image of two people bowing, wearing traditional Korean clothing

When you bow, you usually say “Saehae bok mani baduseyo (새해 복 많이 받으세요)” which means “Have lots of luck/good fortune in this new year!” In response, the one who receives the sebae gives deokdam (words of blessing), and in case of minors, some pocket money as well. This is called sebae money and is usually given via a white envelope (it can be other colors too, but red is characteristic of China, not Korea). As sebae is given to all the elder generation of the family (grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, etc.) children can usually receive quite the tidy sum in return, which is why it’s the favorite holiday of many children. But even if you aren’t a minor, you still give sebae to the older generation and receive deokdam.

While your Korean character might not be able to do sebae in person, it’s highly likely she will at least call or maybe video call her parents to do a sebae, or at least say the traditional greeting and receive deokdam. 

3) Tteokguk

Now, if there is one tradition your Korean girl is likely to keep, it’s preparing and eating tteokguk. Tteokguk, also known as rice cake soup, is easy enough to make and eat by yourself. While there’s a great variation of recipes, the basics is adding slices of rice cake into meat broth, then add what you like and looks good. There’s an old saying in Korea that you don’t grow another year older until you’ve had a bowl of tteokguk. This usually leads to children eating more than one bowl while those in their late twenties to early thirties tend to joke about not eating it to stay young.

4) Playing yut

Playing yut might be something your character may or may not do, depending on whether she has the yuts lying around. A game of yut is played with a board and four yuts, which are uneven sticks that serve the roll of dice, depending on how many of them fall face upwards. It’s a traditional Korean game that has been around since before the 10th century at least and probably well before that. It’s almost always played around Seol because it has its roots in wishing that the new year will bring with it a bountiful harvest. Your character may not know that last bit, though, just that it’s usually played around Seol. Your character could convince some of her friends to play yut with her, as the rules are easy and the game is near addictive if I say so myself.

I hope this gives you some ideas for what your Korean character might do!

- Mod Rune

WWC Follower Additions

@phen0l said:Speaking specifically to celebrating New Year away from home (e.g. at college): in my experience, people who can’t go home to their families will get together with their friends and do it instead. I’m Chinese and my best friend is Korean - in our school years we’d celebrate Lunar New Year together and combine respective practices. When we were very young, she’d come over to mine and my parents would even give her New Year money. 

So maybe anon can consider whether their character has any friends that would be down for celebrating with them!

@sylvrn said:My family doesn’t really celebrate holidays as intensely, but we still eat 떡국 because it’s food and it’s chill. We did do everything else at a relative’s house in a big family gathering when we lived in Korea but in Canada we don’t do much except for a happy new years phone call to our grandma and sometimes our uncle :)

#redshoesdancingblues #Korean #Holidays #Culture #Korean woman #Family #language #tradition #Asks

[hbostolemysoul]

Band of Brothers fluff alphabet: Bill Guarnere

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Bill has always thought you were pretty. Face of an angel, and mind of a devil. You two used to get into all sorts of trouble when you were younger. Course he would always be blamed for coming up with such schemes, because how could a sweet thing like you ever be the mastermind behind such disasters.              (Ps. You were almost always the mastermind behind said disasters😉). 

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Bill comes from a large Italian family, being the youngest of 10 children has taught Bill a lot…mostly that he does not want to have 10 children. But don’t take that as him never wanting to have kids, popping out little Guarnere’s is practically a right of passage in the family (Or so Bills older sisters and Ma’ told you, much to Bills dismay).  

That being said he will in no way ‘push’ you to have children with him if you are not ready. Things after he lost his legs were rocky, I mean he came back in as good a mood a man could have after losing his leg. He worked some odd jobs while he fought with the Army to get full disability. It was a painstaking process, and you were with him every step of the way (listening to his daily rants and all).

You had been in the kitchen on the phone with his Ma’ when he got the news. The door to your home burst open and the smile on Bill’s face had you promising to call back and hanging up the phone. Before you could get any words out he had his arms around you, and the kiss you shared almost had your knees buckling.

“Army bastards finally gave in. I can take this fuckin’ thing off” he said while motioning down to the poorly crafted stump the government was calling a prosthetic.

Bill had been much happier, and in significantly less pain not having to be on his feet all hours of the day to try and make ends meet. He had taken to using the crutches again,

“I ain’t ashamed to be hobbling around. Think I earned the right to hobble around if I want to” his thick accent and casual tone caused you to laugh.

It was about 6 months after Bill had quit his various jobs that the idea of having a little rug rat came around. Bill looked up at you sheepishly after asking, a hand coming to rub the back of his neck nervously. You just crossed your arms and leaned against the doorway. As much as you liked to tease Bill seeing him this nervous made something in you melt (not that you were going to tell him that yet though) you smiled at him mischievously making him grin in return,

“Fine, but you are on diaper duty”

Being a man of his word Bill changed almost every single diaper he could. He would call it ‘bonding time’ your little one would be wiggling and giving poor old Guarnere a hard time, but he would just chatter away to the kid, sometimes talking about how he couldn’t wait until Mom (you) got to start potty training them.  

Bill ultimately got his wish of not having 10 kids, after an accidental number 5 you both decided that was more than enough little Guarnere’s for the world to handle.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Bill likes pulling you close to his chest at night. He still remembers the cold nights where he and the guys would have to huddle close in those damned foxholes in order to stay warm. The closeness of you pressed against him make his sleep a bit more restful. He still has nightmares, but as time moves on they become less and less. He likes to think you have something to do with that.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

There is this old ice cream place close to his Ma’s that you two used to frequent as kids. When he gets back to the states it is one of the first places you two go once he is settled.  It was there that he first started to talk to you about the war, about losing his brother Henry. He had done a pretty good job at coming across as the same old wisecracking pain in the ass he had been before he left. You two came here as often as you could after that first time. It was a safe place for both of you to talk…for him to talk.

E = Everything (You are my __ (e.g. my life, my world…))

“You are the only person I could ever imagine being with, and I love you and shit. Now please ask our kids to bring me my crutches I KNOW THEY ARE IN THE ATTIC… little shits”

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

You

You and Bill had been friends since childhood, as you got older you dated other people. Neither of you liked seeing the other with someone else, but you both just kept those feelings to yourself. No point in ruining a lifelong, if not at times dysfunctional friendship.

When he left for basic training the two of you kept in touch through letters. There were a few times you had wanted to get sappy and spill your heart out, but then thought better of it. As the war went on letters from him sometimes became infrequent, it scared you more than you let on. The letter that almost sent you over the edge was the one his parents received about his leg. You lived a few doors down from the Guarnere’s, hearing his Ma’ wail like that had you outside and on their doorstep in moments. The last time she had cried like that had been when the letter about Henry had arrived.

Mr. Guarnere opened the door and smiled grimly at you, Mrs. Guarnere was crumpled on the floor holding the letter to her chest. She just opened her arms and you were immediately in them. Tears ran down both your faces “He’s gone, he’s gone” kept running through your mind, or so you thought.

Mrs. Guarnere shushed you and held your face in her hands, gently brushing your tears away.

“He is coming home” she said between sobs. You just stared confused,

“He lost his leg, oh god his leg is gone” she wailed again.

You just held her tight. The tears were still running down your face, a mixture of relief and grief. It was in this exact moment that you finally accepted that you were in love with William (Bill) Guarnere…fuck…

Bill

Coming home had been bittersweet for Bill. Seeing his family again was nice, but the absence of his brother was felt throughout the entire household. It wasn’t until he saw you walk through that front door that things felt lighter for the first time. You had changed in the few years he had been gone. Sure you had always been a pretty gal, but you had turned into the most beautiful being he had ever seen in his life. His family quickly cleared out of the room shortly after your arrival and quick greetings. For the first time in your entire lives, neither of you knew what to say, until Bill (never being one for awkward silences) suggested you both take a walk down to the old ice cream shop. You walked together, your arm looped with his. Not so much out of balance, but to reassure each other that you were still there.

It was at the old ice cream shop that you two seemed to pick up like no time had passed. This became a ritual between you two. As the weeks went on those feelings Bill had been suppressing for years began to surface again. A younger Bill might have just continued to shove those feelings away, this Bill had been through actual hell and back. Life was too short.  

You had been talking about something and Bill just blurted,

“So do ya’ have a boyfriend or somthin’?” the owlish look you gave him almost made him laugh, and it probably would have if he didn’t feel like he had just thrown his heart onto the table.

You stared at him a moment, features gradually softening as you laughed,

“Nah, what about you Bill? Have a girlfriend or somethin’?” you grinned up at him as he bowed his head a bit,

“Ah, nah” he said trying to look less nervous than he was. You just rolled your eyes and rested your chin in your hand,

“Hey Bill, want to go on a date with me? Y’know considering we both aren’t seeing people, or somethin’?”

Your matching grins probably could have lit up the entirety of Philadelphia. It was in that exact moment that Bill knew he was fucked…and that he loved you.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Bill is a passionate guy, slow, fast, hard, teasing, you name it and he is more than happy to deliver.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

He holds your hand whenever it is A) appropriate and B) whenever the hell he wants to.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

He had been 6 and you had just moved in down the road, he was at the park with his older siblings when he looked over and saw you. This new girl that had just moved in a few houses down from his. He walked over (seeing as his siblings had taken off to cause trouble somewhere). He sat down next to you, a partially made sand castle in front of you.

“I’m Bill, can I play with you?” you looked up at him skeptically for a minute before shrugging,

“Sure, just don’t knock it over or I will hit you” you said smiling mischievously.

You two have been friends ever since.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Bill has a temper. We all know Bill has a temper. Heaven forbid some dumb guy comes along and looks you up for too long. One legged or not Bill has no issue holding his own in a fight, especially when his girl is involved.

Although there have been times you have literally beaten him to the ‘punch’ and dealt with the guy yourself. He has never been prouder.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Kisses with Bill are always intense. Each and every one leaving you feeling loved and warm.

You two actually kissed shortly after you asked Bill out in the ice cream shop. Walking out together he just stopped, leaned down and kissed you while gently holding the side of your face,

“Figured I should make up for lost time eh’” he said with a cheeky grin.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

You had been looking at apartment’s together, this one was on the main floor which was great for Bill, and so convenient for getting furniture and groceries in. You had been walking around with the Landlord, sunlight streaming in through the cracks in the curtains lighting you up like an angel. You wandered back over to him, a smile on your face as you asked him what he thought. He just smiled and leaned down to kiss you,

“Y’know I love you right?” he said, a soft smile making it onto both of your faces.

“I’ve always known Bill” you said smiling back as you both took in your new home.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

The day you agreed to marry him. You were radiant, and so much more than a guy like him would ever deserve. But for whatever reason you chose him. Hearing you say “I do”, dancing with you for the first time as his wife. Quite literally one of the happiest moments of his life.

 His other favourite memory comes from watching you try to teach ‘Uncle Babe’ how to change a diaper. The kid was so hopeless, but you were so patient with him. Even if you did shoot Bill many amused glances.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Bill loves to cook. Coming from a big Italian family, dinner was always a huge affair, home made pasta, sauce, you name it the Guanere’s did it. He loves doing that with his own little family now.

Also, he was a saint when it came to making food for you throughout your pregnancies (and when you were not pregnant…Bill just loves making you happy, be that food or flowers).

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

You can come across as gold and bright as an angel at times, and others you are flaming red and full of mischief. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Baby, Princess, Doll, he likes the way you either blush or roll your eyes at his pet names for you.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

As mentioned above Bill loves to cook. He has this old-fashioned pasta maker that he uses regularly because ‘Nothin’ is like the real thing, ain’t that right Doll?”

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Bill's leg sometimes aches. He has no qualms about bitchin about it at times. You just smile and kiss him gently, quietly murmuring “grumpy old man” under your breath. He just grins in response.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Bill tries to be a pretty upbeat guy. Sometimes when he is feeling down he will call around and check on the guys from Easy. Babe and Toye are usually the first ones on his list.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

He just likes to talk. Loud animated conversations that are always entertaining to watch, particularly when Babe is around. The two bicker like an old married couple.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Baths. But don’t repeat that to anyone else. He isn’t a bubble bath and candles kind of guy. But there is this essential oil you found that helps when his leg is acting up…he has found it works best in water, hence the baths.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

You best believe Bill is going to show pictures of his kids every chance he gets. Toye has completely mastered the ‘nod and hum’ approach when Bill is off on one of his tangents. Poor Babe on the other hand has yet to learn, Bill has no qualms about calling the younger man out if he gets distracted while Bill is sharing stories about his “wonderful brood of little shits”.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

It's New Years of all places. His Ma’ has been hounding the two of you since the day she found out you were dating. If Bill was being honest she just wanted to be able to officially call you her daughter.

The ball had just dropped, you and Bill had just ended our new year's kiss and he was just holding a velvet box out towards you.

“I would kneel if I could, but I feel like proposing while flopping like a fish on the ground wouldn’t b..”

He never got to finish his ‘proposal’ as your mouth had already found his and you were muttering something about marrying him regardless if he was flopping on the ground like a fish.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

Don’t ask me why – Great Caesar

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Oh yeah, Old Gonorrhea don’t miss nothing. Including the chance to make you his wife.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Your house is already a zoo. You and Bill had talked about maybe getting a dog once the kids moved out, plus Bill liked terrorizing Joe with his own cat ( Much to Toye’s dismay).

 This took me to long to write >_<  I am so sorry!! School is pretty much over now, so I am hoping to get my posting schedule back to normal asap.

Thank you for your patience!!

#band of brothers #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers fluff alphabet #bill guarnere #wild bill #easy company #gonorrhea guarnere #hbo war #bill guarnere x reader

[joking-mr-feynman]

A Fiction Writer’s Guide to English

Tips, tricks, and complaints on how to make your story sound a lot better

By a five-year-old someone not qualified to talk about writing

Disclaimer: By no means am I a writer, a linguist, or an expert on any of the subjects discussed below. However, I do read a lot (a lot), published and unpublished works alike, and this post is made to address certain syntactical, structural, grammatical, aesthetic, and linguistic issues that irk me whenever I come across them. The following is my personal opinion (albeit a well-researched one), and if I've said something horribly wrong, by all means tell me and I shall fix it post-haste. Probably.

Again, this is by no means fully comprehensive, and I doubt it is fully accurate, but from what I've read, this list could do a lot, with a few simple tips, to ameliorate fiction and fanfiction stories a thousand-fold; because, to be honest, a spelling mistake or a grammatical error is one thing that will infallibly take me out of a story and will get me to look at it with a much more critical eye. 

Note: the grammar and punctuation rules below (mostly) follow the American set of rules as standard, since I am American, and most fanfiction stories use this standard as well.

I will probably, once the initial post is out there, come and update it when I come across something that would be a helpful addition; feel free also to shoot me a message or an ask if you have a question or need clarification on anything.

These tips are ordered in no specific way whatsoever, and credit goes to all the original creators of the images and posts I reference herein.

Use the passive voice wisely. You'll hear a lot of English Teachers tell you that the passive voice is bad bad bad, and should never ever ever be used. This is not the case. While one should shy away from using it too frequently, there are some cases where the passive voice is acceptable, and even preferable. As a reminder, the passive voice is when the subject of the clause receives the action:        "The ball was kicked." Use the passive voice sparingly; it is best used when "the thing receiving an action is the important part of the the sentence—especially in scientific and legal contexts, times when the performer of an action is unknown, or cases where the subject is distracting or irrelevant". (For more info, go here.

Pay attention to the setting and the time period of your story. While this may seem self-explanatory, I have seen far too many stories where everything is going perfectly until the student who is supposed to be in a London primary school asks his "Mom" to help him with his "math" homework. (The correct words are, of course, "Mum" and "maths”.) Similarly, a gentleman living in 1880's New York will not greet his friends with "Yo, what's up, man? You good? Cool." (Yes, that is an actual line I have actually read.) I know that this can be hard, especially for authors who don't live in the country their story is set in, but a little bit of research goes a long way in making your story sound better. (This doesn't apply to writers who use anachronisms and the wrong words purposefully, for humor or otherwise).

Accents and dialects. When you want a person to speak in a certain accent or dialect, research that accent or dialect a bit to understand the most prevalent words and grammatical form, and use them in your dialogue, and, if in first person, your narration as well. You can also think about adding certain regionally-specific words, spellings and grammatical structures. If imitating a work written in that region, definitely watch the spellings and alternative words, and incorporate them in both your dialogue and your narration. ( “mom” vs. “mum”, “math” vs. “maths”, “color” vs. “colour”, etc.).    e.g., in England:         I was sitting there, laughing --> I was sat there laughing.         curb (street), jail, tires, tv --> kerb, gaol (sometimes), tyres, telly, etc. 

Beware punctuation with dialogue. Use commas. (NEVER EVER EVER CLOSE A DIALOGUE QUOTATION WITHOUT SOME FORM OF PUNCTUATION! There must ALWAYS be either a period, a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point, or an em-dash before the quotation marks close.) The following image perfectly illustrates the proper ways of punctuating dialogue: WARNING: Use em-dashes instead of en-dashes for interruptions. See below. 

Dashes vs. hyphens "-":  hyphen, used to separate parts of compound words and last names. (e.g. five-year-old; pick-me-up; short- and long-term; Lily Evans-Potter) "–":  en-dash (because it has the width of an "N"), used in number and date ranges, scores, directions, and complex compound adjectives. (e.g., he works 20–30 hours per week; the years 1861–1865 were eventful; FC Barcelona beat Real Madrid 3–2; Ming Dynasty–style furniture is expensive) (Note: when you use "from" before a range of numbers, separate the numbers with "to" instead of an en-dash.) "—": em-dash ("M"), can be used instead of parentheses, commas, colons, or for interruptions in dialogue, thought, or narration. (e.g., I know I'm right, and you're — stop throwing things at me!) (For more info, go here.)

Vary sentence lengths. When your sentences are all the same length and all the same complexity, your story starts to sound monotonous. Experiment with length, clauses, commas and semicolons, etc.: “This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals—sounds that say listen to this, it is important.” — Gary Provost For more on sentence and paragraph structure, see thewritersguardianangel’s post.

Don't be afraid of contractions. Contractions are common in everyday speech and in everyday writing. Use these, especially in dialogue, since contractions will be used almost all the time, unless the character is older, teaching, or speaking intentionally formally. (A college student is not going to tell his friend "You have got to do this homework assignment, or you will fail the class, and the teacher has caught on to you. He will not be lenient." It'll look more like "You've got to do this homework assignment, or you'll fail the class, and the teacher's caught on to you. He won’t be lenient.")

Avoid overly verbose and complex wording, especially in dialogue. Don't use words that are very grandiose and complicated, especially in dialogue with younger people. A teen might use "merely" once or twice, especially in more formal speech, but will very probably use "just" instead. It makes dialogue more realistic too; real conversations don't often have very hypotaxical, full-of-dependent-and-subordinate-clauses language.

Use italics. Italics are, fortunately, available in all softwares and formatting when writing a story, so one mustn't shy away from using them. They provide a very good way to indicate emphasis, as well as to show anger or frustration without the use of capitals, which just make sentences sound like a petulant child throwing a tantrum. Compare "'I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!' I yelled." and "'I can't believe you,' I hissed." Much more effective, no? (A good rule of thumb is: italics for everything except someone blowing their top. Think the end of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.)

Narrative Perspective. Unless using third person omniscient, stick to one narrative point of view for one section of text, and don't change the perspective style in the story. Don't start in third person close (like Harry Potter) and end in first person (like Percy Jackson). A note about third person close: you can change whose perspective the story is told in throughout the story, but separate those perspective changes, either via a new chapter or a scene break ("******"). Perspectives: First Person: usually singular, occurs when the narrator is telling the story. (Moby Dick, Percy Jackson). Can sometimes be plural (A Rose for Emily). Third Person Close/Limited: the narrator is separate from the main character but sticks close to that character’s experience and actions. The reader doesn’t know anything that the character could not know, nor does the reader get to witness any plot events when the main character isn’t there (Harry Potter). Third Person Omniscient: features a god-like narrator who is able to enter into the minds and action of all the characters (Little Women, The Scarlet Letter).

Use the subjunctive for conditionals and hypotheticals. This might be a bit of a controversial topic, so i'll make this optional, but strongly recommended. The subjunctive mood is what characterizes verbs in conditional and hypothetical situations, so wishes, dreams, hopes, predictions, etc. One should be wary of it in dialogue, though, because it isn't widely used. Use it freely in narration. Usually comes after if or that (e.g., I insist that he leaves leave now; If I was were there, I would be happy.)

Write out numbers. Don't use digits, use words. The man doesn't have 200 dollars, he has two hundred.

The verb "said". Unlike many who tell you never again to use the word "said" when constructing dialogue, I won't. "Said" is a good word, and should be used, but not over-used; find synonyms when it starts to get repetitive, and you can also use it with different adjectives to spice it up. Sometimes you don't need a dialogue tag at all. However, don't try to come up with a different synonym for "said" for every dialogue tag, since it just sounds excessively wordy and extremely trite.  A mistake a lot of writers make is the above, which is to replace every single instance of the word "said" with some outlandish synonym. Also, be wary not to replace a dialogue tag with an action verb (which can also lead to a comma splice) (e.g., "I can't believe you," Mike raged, "you're such an idiot!" vs. "I can't believe you!" Mike growled. "You're such an idiot!")

Connect independent clauses correctly. Independent clauses are sentence fragments which have a subject and a verb, and can stand alone as sentences. If one wants to join them into one sentence, however, there are three ways of doing so: One can use a semicolon (as discussed in the punctuation section below), or one can use a comma + coordinating conjunction. A coordinating conjunction is a word that can, after a comma, join two independent clauses, and they are FANBOYS (For, And, Nor, But, Yet, So). (e.g., Alex went to swim in the pool, but Max couldn’t come.) The last way one can connect two independent clauses is with a conjunctive adverb. Conjunctive adverbs look like coordinating conjunctions; however, they are not as strong and they are punctuated differently. Some examples of conjunctive adverbs are: accordingly, also, besides, consequently, finally, however, indeed, instead, likewise, meanwhile, moreover, nevertheless, next, otherwise, still, therefore, then, etc. When you use a conjunctive adverb, put a semicolon (;) before it and a comma (,) after it. They can also be used in a single main clause, and a comma (,) is used to separate the conjunctive adverb from the sentence. (e.g., There are many history books; however, none of them may be accurate.; I woke up very late this morning. Nevertheless, I wasn’t late to school.) These words can be placed pretty much anywhere in the second clause after the semicolon as long as they’re separated by commas on either side (e.g., Mark was happy to have finished his essay; his dog ate it, however, before he could hand it in.)

Punctuation, Punctuation, Punctuation. Watch your punctuation closely, because it can make or break your story. Dialogue punctuation has already been discussed above, but that is for formatting quotations, not for narration and the content of the quotations themselves.

Every sentence or sentence fragment, even it it’s a single word, MUST end with either a period ("."), a question mark ("?"), or an exclamation point ("!"). It can also end with an em-dash ("—") if and only if the thought or sentence is interrupted.

Commas are for separating sentences into more manageable chunks, to separate dependent clauses, and independent clauses with coordinating conjunctions (see below), and to mark off lists. (e.g., I wanted to talk to her, but she had to go shopping for milk, eggs, bread, and cheese.)

Use the Oxford comma. For those who don't know, the Oxford comma is the last comma in a list of things, just before the last item, usually before an "and" (e.g., milk, eggs, and cheese). It helps reduce a lot of confusion, and, while this is a topic that can be controversial, use it to be safe, and to avoid sentences like this: I dedicate this to my parents, my editor and Random House Publishing.

Beware the comma splice. Never ever ever separate two independent clauses (i.e., full sentences with subject, verb, and object) with just a comma. Use a period, a semicolon, or a coordinating conjunction instead. (e.g., A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves. (for this example, make the comma a period or a semicolon, or eliminate "it" from the sentence.))

Colons (":") are for denoting lists and setting up quoted text (not dialogue. Use commas for that.) (e.g., What I need is this: eggs, flour, and milk.; In Moby Dick, the main character, in the beginning of the book, says: "Call me Ishmael.")

Semicolons (";") are for separating two independent but related clauses, as discussed in the comma splice section above.

Tenses and tense agreements. This is a big one. When writing a story, choose a tense for your narration and stick with it throughout. If you start in the past, as a lot of fiction does, stay in the past until the end. Also, make sure all the tenses in your narration agree with the main tense of your story. (For flashbacks, one of two ways are possible: a blocked off section in italics, with the same tense as the main story, or within the narration, in the tense past the tense of the story (i.e. has -> had; had -> had had)) If events A, B, C happen in order, and we take B to be the "present" in the story (i.e. when the events are unfolding):

Present: B is happening. C will happen. A happened. (I walk down the aisle, happy. Hopefully nothing bad will happen. I wasn't able to cope when the incident last year happened.)

Past: B happened. C would happen. A had happened. (I walked down the aisle, happy. Hopefully nothing bad would happen. I hadn't been able to cope when the incident last year had happened.)

Give your story to someone who hasn’t read it yet. Writing and editing a story is a very comprehensive process, and both you and your beta reader will probably have read it so much that your and their eyes will be jaded and will slide over mistakes. A fresh pair of eves will always be beneficial in sussing out mistakes, typos, plot holes, and the like.

Watch for homophones, misspellings and incorrect word usage. This is the one that is most obvious, and the one that the most people catch and the most people hate. For this reason I will list the most common errors I have seen in hopes of helping those lost souls find they’re way. (See what I did their?) I’ll put in a break to not make this post any longer than it already is: 

Index: v. = verb; n. = noun; adj. = adjective; prep. = preposition; adv. adverb; conj. = conjunction.

There vs. their vs. they’re There = In, at, or to that place or position (Look over there! Who’s in there?) Their = third person plural possessive pronoun (my, your, his, our, their) (This is their car, that one is mine.) They’re = contraction for they are (They’re window shopping.) ex: If you look over there, you can see the Simpsons. They’re looking for their car.

Your vs. you’re Your = second person possessive pronoun (This is your card, that one’s mine.) You’re = contraction of you are (Stop shouting! You’re so loud!) You’re insufferable when you get your report card back.

Too vs. to Too = adverb: to a higher degree than is desirable, permissible, or possible; in addition, also (It's too hot in here; You love the Beatles? I love them too!) To = (prep): expressing motion in the direction of; identifying the person or thing affected; concerning or likely to concern something; identifying a particular relationship between one person and another (walking down to the mall; he was very nice to me; a threat to world peace; he's married to that woman over there) (infinitive marker): used with the base form of a verb to indicate that the verb is in the infinitive, in particular. (He was left to die.)

-'s vs. -s  vs. -s' (and similar apostrophic conundrums) -'s = a contraction for is, has, or us; possessive indicator for nouns. (it's = it is; let's = let us; he's = he is; a car's = of a car; she’s done it = she has done it); NEVER A PLURAL -s = indicator for plural nouns; with it, a possessive indicator. (phones = more than one phone; cars = more than one car; its = of it, owned by it) -s' = indicator of possessive plural nouns, and possessive for words ending in -s. (cars' = of multiple cars; Iris' = of Iris) Come on, let's go, he's not gonna come anytime soon. Iris' car's broken down, and the car's tires' air pressure is almost zero, and its exhaust pipe is clogged. The towing company workers are going to come soon. 

Were vs. we're Were = plural past tense of "to be"; subjunctive of "to be" (We were really happy; If I were rich, I would do this.) We're = Contraction of "we are" (We're going out tonight!) If I were you, I would have made your announcement when we were all together. Now we're all doing our own thing.

Who’s vs. whose Who's =  contraction of who is (Who's doing this?) Whose = belonging to or associated with which person (Whose pen is this?) Who's drawing on the board? Can you tell whose handwriting that is?

Who vs. whom Who = what or which person or people, the subject of a verb; used to introduce a clause giving further information (Who ate my apple?; Jack, who was my best friend) Whom = what or which person or people, the object of a verb (By whom was my apple eaten?) Who left this jacket here? To whom does it belong?

X and I vs. X and me X and I = (= we) used when both subjects are the subject of the verb. (Mike and I went to the mall.) X and me = (= us) used when both subjects are the objects of the verb. (My father took Mike and me to the shop.) A good way of figuring out which one to use is to get rid of the second person altogether, and see which pronoun you would use in that case: Mike and I went to the shop –> I went to the shop; He took Mike and me to the shop –> He took me to the shop.

Wary vs. weary Wary = (adj.) feeling or showing caution about possible dangers or problems. (Be wary of strangers.) Weary = (adj.) feeling or showing tiredness, especially as a result of excessive exertion or lack of sleep; reluctant to see any more of; (v.): to cause to become tired (He looked at me with weary, sleepless eyes.) His long day’s march had made him weary, but, wary of possible dangers, he made himself stay awake and keep watch.

Affect vs. effect (for our purposes, excluding obscure definitions) Affect = (v.) to have an effect on; to bring a difference to (The US foreign policy greatly affected European trade.) Effect  = (n.) a change that is a result or consequence of an action or other cause (The US policy's effect on European trade was largely detrimental.) Judaism's effect on Christianity largely affected the New Testament.

Could of, would of, should of THESE ARE NOT WORDS. They sound like real ones, but they're not.  The correct forms are: could have, would have, should have. (You can also contract them to could've, would've, should've.)

Lose vs. loose Lose = verb; to be deprived of or cease to have; to become unable to find something; to lose a game (I always lose my keys; If we don’t score soon, we’ll lose; I can’t keep losing people) Loose = adjective; not firmly or tightly fixed in place; detached or able to be detached (These pants are too loose; Let loose! You're too strung-up!) Loose shirts and pants are comfortable, but don't wear them to interviews or you'll lose your reputation and respectability.

Except vs. accept Except = (prep.): not including; other than (everything except for my socks) (conj.): used before a statement that forms an exception to one just made (I didn't tell him anything, except that I needed the money). Accept = (v.) consent to receive; give an affirmative answer to; believe or come to recognize (an opinion) as correct (he accepted a pen as a present; he accepted their offer; her explanation was accepted by her friends.) He accepted every one of her excuses, except for her claim that her dog had eaten her homework.

Peak vs. peek (vs. peaked/peaky) Peak =  (n.): point or top of a mountain; point of highest activity; (v.): reach a highest point (He climbed to the peak of Mt. Everest; I peaked in sixth grade) peaked (US), peaky (UK)= (of a person) gaunt and pale from illness or fatigue. (You look a bit peaked/peaky. Are you ill?) Peek = look quickly, typically in a furtive manner; protrude slightly so as to be just visible (Faces peeked from behind the curtains; his socks were so full of holes his toes peeked through) Don't peek through the curtains!, he said, then climbed to the peak of a nearby hill.

Advice vs. advise Advice = noun: guidance or recommendations (e.g., He's in dire need of some relationship advice.) Advise = verb: offer suggestions about the best course of action to someone; to recommend; to inform. (I often advise my friends regarding their scholastic endeavors; I advise you to take this class; you will be advised of the requirements) Go, advise him about what to do for his relationship; he'll heed your advice.

Suit vs. suite Suit = (n.): outfit, set of clothes, men's outfit with jacket and pants (He's wearing a very nice suit.) (v.): be convenient for or acceptable to; act to one's own wishes; to go well with. (He lies when it suits him; suit yourself; that hat suits you.)    to follow suit = conform to another's actions. (James started eating and Lily followed suit.) Suite = a set of rooms designated for one person's or family's use or for a particular purpose; a set of instrumental compositions (I rented out the honeymoon suite; I love Gustav Holst's The Planets' Suite) The man, dressed in a sharp suit, stepped out of the honeymoon suite, and his newlywed wife followed suit.

Curb vs. curve Curb = (n.): a stone or concrete edging to a street or path (He parked his car on the curb) (v.): to restrain or keep in check (Curb your enthusiasm) Curve = noun: a line or outline that gradually deviates from being straight for some or all of its length; verb: to form or cause to form a curve (The parapet wall sweeps down in a bold curve; her mouth curved down) He parked his car on the curb, just where the road started to curve into the suburbs.

Ladder vs. latter vs. later Ladder = a structure consisting of a series of bars or steps between two upright lengths of wood, metal, or rope, used for climbing up or down something (He climbed the ladder.) Latter = situated or occurring nearer to the end of something than to the beginning; denoting the second or second mentioned of two people or things (The latter half of 1946; Arthur and Richard were friends, and the former died while the latter lived.) Later = comparative of late. (I was late, he was later.) Frank and Emma, while friends, had a falling-out; the former went into the ladder-making business, and, two years later, the latter moved to France. 

Lay vs. lie (re: the reclining or putting down definitions)

Break vs. brake Break = (v.): separate or cause to separate into pieces as a result of a blow; to interrupt (If you pull on the rope too much, it'll break.) (n.): an interruption; a pause from work (You're way too tired! Take a break!) Brake = (n., with equivalent verb) a device for slowing or stopping a moving vehicle. (If you want to stop your car, you have to press on the brakes.) Don't step on the brake so hard! You'll break both our necks!

Taught vs. taut Taught = past tense of "to teach" (I taught middle schoolers in Boston for three years.) Taut = (adj.) stretched or pulled tight, not slack; (of muscles) tense and not relaxed (The rope was pulled taut; all his muscles were taut and straining) In the fitness class my friend taught, he said that you shouldn't keep your muscles taut all the time.  

Through vs. threw Through = (prep.): moving in one side and out of the other side; continuing in time toward completion of; so as to inspect all or part of; by means of (a process or intermediate stage) Threw = (v.) past tense of "to throw" I threw the ball straight through the doorway.

Retch vs. wretch Retch = (n., v.) make the sound and movement of vomiting (When I saw the blood, I retched.) Wretch = (n.) an unfortunate or unhappy person; a despicable or contemptible person. (the wretches were imprisoned; ungrateful wretches) I almost retched at the thought of being nice to that ungrateful wretch.

Ring vs. wring Ring = 1. (n.) a circular band; a group of people or things arranged in a circle. (Her engagement ring was beautiful; the men stood in a ring.) 2. (v., associated n.) make a clear resonant or vibrating sound; (of a place) resound or reverberate with (a sound or sounds) (Church bells are ringing; the room rang with laughter) Wring = (v.) squeeze and twist (something); break by twisting it forcibly (I wring the cloth out into the sink; I wrung the animal's neck) If you don't stop that alarm from ringing, I'm gonna wring your neck!

Bear vs. bare Bear = 1. (v.) To carry; to support; to endure. (He was bearing a tray with a tea service on it; weight-bearing pillars; I can't bear it!) 2. (n.) a large, heavy, mammal that walks on the soles of its feet, with thick fur (Polar bear) Bare = (adj.) not clothed or covered; basic and simple (He was bare from the waist up; the bare essentials of a plan) Apparently, men can't bear to see women's bare shoulders.

Pose vs. poise Pose = 1. (v., w/ associated n.) assume a particular attitude or position in order to be photographed, painted, or drawn (She posed for the camera). 2. (v.) to present or constitute (a problem, danger, or difficulty); to raise (a question) (This storm is posing a threat to our summer plans; a statement that posed more questions than it answered) Poise = (n.) graceful and elegant bearing in a person. (Poise and good manners can be cultivated.) Poise is not just striking a haughty pose; it's about how you hold yourself.

Pore vs. pour Pore = 1. (n.) a minute opening in a surface (this opens up the pores in your skin) 2. (v.) be absorbed in the reading or study of (I spent hours poring over my physics textbook). Pour = (v.) (especially of a liquid) flow rapidly in a steady stream; to cause a liquid to do so (The water poured off the roof; I poured myself a glass of milk). As I was cleansing my pores with a face mask and poring over my favorite book, I accidentally spilled the water I had poured myself all over my pants.

Breech vs. breeches vs. breach Breech = the part of a cannon behind the bore. Breeches  = short trousers fastened just below the knee Breach = an act of breaking; failing to observe a law, agreement, or code of conduct, or the action of doing so (A breach of contract; the river breached its banks) (Come on, guys, no one wants to hear about an army trouser-ing the perimeter.)

Rend vs. render Rend = (v.) tear (something) into two or more pieces (teeth that would rend human flesh to shreds) — Note: the correct term is heartrending, since whatever does that rips the heart in two. Render = (v.) provide or give (a service, help, etc.); cause to be or become; represent or depict artistically (A reward for services rendered; the rain rendered my escape impossible; the eyes are exceptionally well rendered) The artist's rendering of the wolf's fangs, which would easily rend human flesh to shreds, was amazingly realistic.

Damnit It's either dammit or damn it. The "n" disappears if it merges into one word, but stays if it's two.

Conclusion: Look. Writing is hard. I know. Some of the above tips seem fairly obvious, and I know that mistakes, errors, and typos happen and go unnoticed. That being said, if you apply these tips regularly, and devote a bit more time to proofreading and editing, the quality of your story and the satisfaction of a lot of your readers will increase tremendously. Authors, I know writing is a thankless job, and many of you are sacrificing your own time to satisfy your followers and your readers; and for that, on behalf of your readers, and even on behalf of those that read and don’t leave reviews, thank you. Do not ever think that this post is meant to belittle you or your devotion to your craft; it is just a list of hopefully helpful suggestions that can help you and, with it, please those readers — like me — who are unfortunately too picky for their own good. And again, use these tips freely (I take credit only for putting them together), good luck, and know that you are universally loved for your efforts, past, continuing, stopped, or postponed. Thank you.

#writing #writing tips #grammar #english #english language #fanfiction #fiction #tips #vocabulary #punctuation #words #literature #perspective #verbs #verb tenses #orthography #homophones #misspellings #typos #errors #narration #narrative perspective #narrative voice #dialogue #authors #writing suggestions #dialogue punctuation #why did i make this

[ongsniel]

[request] i was about to hug you (but i didn’t)

AUTHOR: ongniels (ali) TITLE: FANDOM: WANNA ONE/Produce 101 RATING: PG-13 PAIRING: Park Jihoon/Lai Guanlin WORD COUNT: 3,8k WARNING: cursing SUMMARY:   He knows he should have come to terms with the fact that he actually likes Guanlin the way he does - but it just doesn't add up to him why he had to know about it now, when Guanlin was hundreds of miles away.

"What’s up, butt face?"

It’s not even 8 a.m. and Jihoon's day already sucks.

First of all, his alarm had been way too late - probably because he forgot to change it to the right time last night - thus he missed his bus and had to come running to school.

Now, even Lai Guanlin, current exchange student and resident flower boy, had to make an appearance. Wonderful.

"Nothing much, asshole," Jihoon responds with his cutest smile. "What do you want, my dear boo?"

Guanlin responds with his best disgusted face.

"You’re not cute even if you try," the younger points out; Jihoon just sticks his tongue out. "Have you seen Jinyoung anywhere?"

"My best friend Jinyoung? Hmmm..." Jihoon slams his locker door shut. "I’m afraid I haven’t, sorry!"

In fact, Jinyoung had just passed by to say hello before scurrying to his first period Korean history class. But Jihoon is not going to say that.

"Now, I don't have more time to waste, hope we don't see each other again!" Jihoon calls out as he walks away.

***

But of course they see each other again.

Jihoon is silently eating his lunch, sitting with Samuel and Daehwi as they talk about their current psychology project, when Guanlin and Jinyoung appear.

The Chinese boy is obviously being dragged to sit with them, if Jinyoung’s hand on his wrist and Guanlin’s pout are anything to go by.

Jinyoung, how surprising, sits down next to Daehwi. The both of them smile at each other before Daehwi continues talking. Guanlin, however, remains standing next to the table, glaring at the only seat that’s available - the one next to Jihoon.

"What? Aren’t you going to sit down? Are you so afraid to fall in love with me?" Jihoon teases, blinking repeatedly with his most adorable smile.

"I'm more afraid of catching your 'I-suck-at-English' bug," Guanlin retorts, unwillingly sitting down.

"I’m sorry mister 'I-have-never-had-a-perfect-score-in-math'," Jihoon replies.

"You’re just jealous I was the top of the class last semester," Guanlin accuses him.

"Sorry to break it to you, but we have the joint first place, loser," Jihoon defends himself. "You should work on your memory, it sure is getting worse."

"Can you guys stop bickering for at least one minute?" Samuel laughs, definitely way too amused by the situation. "Some people here are even struggling to be in the average half of the class."

Jihoon and Guanlin just glare at each other one last time ere both of them go back to their own meals.

***

To be honest, Jihoon isn't even sure why he and Guanlin are so antagonistic towards each other.

It seems to have been like this since the first day they met.

Jinyoung had excitedly greeted them, grin on his face as he told them that he had befriended the new Chinese student and that exactly that same student was going to be hanging out with them at lunch, right then and there.

Jihoon had been too concentrated on studying for a biology quiz to even notice Guanlin sit down beside them. Thus he had neither greeted him nor tried to make some small talk like he usually would.

This happened for the reminder of the week, Guanlin sitting with them and Jihoon learning for something or the other.

Then, when the stressful project and learning phase had ended, Jihoon and Guanlin began their "bickering", or at least that's what their friends called their interactions.

It didn't help that for every semester after Guanlin arrived, Jihoon and him would fight for the number 1 spot in their class.

But if Jihoon is honest, the thing he hates the most, or nicer said, annoys him the most about Guanlin is how little effort he has to put into studying to get the same or an even better result than Jihoon. And as if that wasn't enough, he was handsome, too.

Jihoon’s life was just that fucked up.

***

Finally, at 4 p.m., classes end and Jihoon is free from all the bad things (e.g. Guanlin).

"Hey," Jihoon is surprised to hear the exact same person he was thinking of call out to him.

It’s weird because of a lot of different things. Firstly, Guanlin would never call or talk to him - no matter what happened, both of them would rather die than talk to each other and secondly, Guanlin would never smile while calling for him.

Jihoon is too astonished to respond.

"Congrats on having a full score on the math quiz, again," Guanlin laughs, eyes crinkling - and what the fuck?

Guanlin pulls him in for a hug, with shoulder patting and everything. Jihoon just stands there tense for the whole ten seconds it lasts.

After that, Guanlin seems to regain his sanity because he just lets go and leaves the classroom without saying another word.

Needless to say, Jihoon is confused.

***

Even at home, Jihoon can't stop thinking about Guanlin. And his hug.

***

The day after that Guanlin is back to normal - or at least almost normal. Okay well, maybe the only "normal" thing about Guanlin today is that he made Jihoon be late by chatting with him.

Anyway, Guanlin stands nearer to Jihoon than he usually would and there's a special kind of fondness behind his every banter. The Taiwanese boy is even smiling at him with his gummy smile that's usually only aimed at the rest of his friends.

It kind of makes Jihoon uncomfortable so he just makes sure that his words are twice as rude as they normally would be to make up for it.

***

At lunch, Guanlin is still not... normal. He willingly sits down next Jihoon - without protesting, which is unusual to say the least.

The younger boy doesn't even flinch when Daehwi starts saying they look like the cutest couple.

"They seriously look so cute," Jinyoung agrees.

"Yeah, do we?" Guanlin replies, wrapping his arms around Jihoon's shoulders and squishing his face against Jihoon's.

He pushes Guanlin’s face away, feeling his face heat up and digs into his hamburger.

Guanlin’s laugh that follows makes him blush even more.

***

Jihoon isn’t sure how or why their dynamic has changed so much over the span of one day when it has stayed the same for over two yeas.

***

At the end of the day, right after Guanlin and Jihoon's student council activities, it starts raining. Jihoon curses at himself for forgetting his umbrella this morning - even more so, because his mother will be waiting with an "i told you so" look on her face when he arrives at home, all drenched and exhausted.

He is getting ready to run for his life with his jacket as a shield and hey, he actually goes through with it, but Guanlin pops up next to him in seconds, holding up an umbrella that covers the both of them, saving Jihoon from getting even wetter.

"What? Are you going to decline my offer to take you home with this amazing umbrella just because it's me doing it?" Guanlin questions, eyebrows raised.

Jihoon actually feels kind of offended. He is not that stupid.

"I didn't even say anything," he grumbles, blush coming back.

"Jihoon, you never had to say anything, your face says it all,like always," Guanlin replies with a huge, stupidly attractive grin on his face.

He pretends as if he hadn't heard anything.

***

They walk in relative silence; Guanlin randomly jumps into little puddles and stops to look at small, hipster stores just as randomly.

It's about to get to the awkward point of the walk but Guanlin starts to talk about their upcoming finals, asking Jihoon if he has had any difficulties learning for them, which makes the almost awkwardness disappear instantly. Instead, the all too well known final related tiredness and annoyance comes.

For a moment, Jihoon forgets that their usual interactions are filled with banter and mutual dislike.

***

It takes twice as much time to make it to Jihoon's house but he can't find it in himself to complain, Guanlin had actually been a really nice travel companion.

"Uh, thanks for walking me home?" Jihoon says, awkwardly scratching his left arm.

Guanlin just snorts at him.

The younger boy puts the umbrella down, letting small rain droplets fall on him and pulls Jihoon into an embrace.

This one feels different than their previous hug - more intimate, more... them.

Guanlin has his head in the crook of Jihoon's neck and his arms tightly wrapped around the older boy's waist as he crouches down for the hug. Jihoon too, is more responding to this hug. He has his chin resting comfortably on Guanlin’s shoulder and his hands around Guanlin’s lower back.

It feels kind of nice.

They stay like that for at least five minutes before Jihoon can feel Guanlin sigh against his neck. The younger boy pulls away with a smile and takes his umbrella.

"Bye, Park Jihoon," he says, gummy smile and crinkling eyes.

Jihoon just waves back with a small smile of his own.

***

The whole night the only thing that is on Jihoon's mind is Guanlin and how utterly nice it feels to have all of Guanlin and his lanky form hug him.

***

The next day comes and, although it seems like a miracle, Jihoon is not late for once.

Weirdly, none of his friends seem to be around, so he has no other choice than to head to his class alone.

He takes his English book, shuts down all the Guanlin related thoughts the item brings him and slams his locker shut.

***

It’s not until lunch that Jihoon sees his friends. Nothing seems out of the ordinary; Samuel is sitting in front of Jinyoung and Daehwi, while the two look at each other like they're the best thing that has ever happened in each other's lives.

"Where have you guys been all day?" he asks as soon as he sits down.

"What do you mean? Don’t you know?" Samuel questions back. "Thought you, our intelligent, “I never forget anything”, boy, would know out of all people."

"Hm... Did I miss something important?" Jihoon literally can't remember anything.

"Figures," Daehwi sighs. "You didn't like Guanlin all that much anyway."

Jihoon goes tense at that.

"Can you guys come to the point? What did I miss? What was so important?" he is starting to get a bad feeling about this.

"You’ll notice soon enough," Daehwi smirks.

With that all of his friends go back to their easy chatter and pizza. He shrugs his shoulders and joins in.

***

It takes almost a whole week for Jihoon to actually notice.

Guanlin is not at school. He is in none of their classes and he hasn't shown up to eat with them for lunch. Plus the younger boy hasn't been pestering Jihoon for his math notes for the upcoming finals.

It seems almost as if he vanished from the face of earth.

Jihoon wouldn't even have noticed, if his classmate Woojin hadn't brought it to his attention after their biology class.

"Jihoon, since Guanlin is not here, you have to actually do the classroom cleaning today," the other boy had said.

It surprised him for two reasons, one, he already mentioned it but Guanlin wasn't there and secondly, fuck, he hadn't done the classroom cleaning for two years. Exactly those years Guanlin had been there.

"Wait, did Guanlin usually do my turns for me?" he asks, astonished.

"Yeah, I thought you knew?" Woojin raises his eyebrows. "He mentioned something about you having to concentrate on your studies, etc."

Jihoon just nods, he feels kind of numb inside. He had never done something as nice for Guanlin, never even considered to.

All of a sudden, he feels anxiety bubbling up in his body. He decides to ignore whatever it is though.

Maybe Guanlin is sick or something.

***

Jihoon sighs as he sits down next to his friends. Daehwi shoots him a worried look.

"Are you okay?" Daehwi asks. "You look really fucking pale."

"Yeah, I’m good," he replies, not really being able to form the unconcerned smile he was aiming for. "Where the heck is Guanlin?"

"Wow, now you notice," Samuel laughs smugly - Jihoon wishes he would choke on his piece of meat. "Two things, one, I won, so pay up you losers, and secondly, he's back in Taiwan."

Jihoon feels something in his stomach sink, he doesn't know why or what it is, but he feels very weird. The anxiety he felt earlier starts to resurface.

"Yeah, his visa expired so he had to go back," Jinyoung continues. "And so you know, I’m not paying, I didn't agree to the bet!"

Samuel begins to argue that Jinyoung did, then Daehwi starts saying something else and they get distracted. Jihoon, however, still hasn't been able to wrap the fact that Guanlin is in Taiwan - and will probably stay there - around his head.

It explains how not like himself he had acted before disappearing, being all chummy and smiley and nice and - and the fuck...

"Can you guys stop talking about your stupid bet for a minute?" Jihoon interrupts them.

Samuel, Daehwi and Jinyoung simultaneously actually stop, looking at him as if he grew a second head.

"Is he coming back? Guanlin, I mean," Jihoon says with a frown.

All of them seem to deflate, Daehwi looking at the floor and Jinyoung is trying to look at anything but him.

"Do you even want him to?" Samuel shoots back. "It’s not like you cared, it didn't even seem like you liked him very much."

"That doesn't matter now, does it?" Jihoon answers. "He was part of the group so of course I care!"

"You care but forget about the day he is supposed to fly back to Taiwan?" Jinyoung asks. "I’m not saying you don't care or anything, but I’m more than a little bit surprised that you actually do."

"Well, I am confused about that too!" Jihoon snaps. "Jesus Christ, when did he say anything about that?"

How can he not be confused? He never actually hated or resented Guanlin, but still, their dynamic and most of their interactions involved their dislike for one another, always bickering and insulting each other.

The younger boy was an easy outlet for all of his frustrations and need to banter, a rival with equal abilities. He hadn't thought about what would happen if he wasn't there anymore - never needed to until now.

It feels unreal.

When he didn't notice the absence, it didn't really matter but now that he knows it's weird.

It’s weird not having Guanlin in front of him taunting him because of his English skills. It feels weird not being able to steal Guanlin’s chocolate puddings and it overall just doesn’t seems right.

"What? Are you missing him?" Daehwi asks, curiously.

Jihoon doesn't know how to respond to that. Maybe? Yes?

"Shut up and just keep me informed if he's coming back or not," Jihoon snaps and then digs into his salad.

***

Weeks - three to be exact, but Jihoon isn't counting, right? - pass before he gets any Guanlin related updates.

Jinyoung comes running to them, with an excited puppy smile and his lunch. He sits down, gulps a sip of water and then literally beams at them, as if he had just won a million dollars.

"Did you pass the French exam?" Daehwi asks, looking hopeful.

"As if!" Jinyoung responds, his excitement subdued for only a second ere it emerges for a second time. "So, I skyped with Guanlin yesterday and he said that he got his parents to agree to -"

Jihoon is, no, not excited, it feels different. A special kind of happiness starts to spread in his body, making his heartbeat quicken, and a rare full on grin makes an appearance. The news sound good and he hopes that they have something to do with Guanlin coming back to Korea.

"Buy him a play station! Isn’t it really cool?"

Of fucking course.

***

It’s the weekend before their finals and Jihoon hates himself. He knows he should be cramming last minute information into his brain until he falls asleep on his desk, but... but he can't seem to concentrate.

It bothers him even more because he knows the exact reason. Lai Guanlin. 16. Taiwanese. A freaking giant.

He knows he should have come to terms with the fact that he actually likes Guanlin the way he does - but it just doesn't add up to him why he had to know about it now, when Guanlin was hundreds of miles away and not while the Taiwanese boy was here for two years.

He hates himself so much that instead of studying he goes for a pint of ice cream and the edge of seventeen, like the teenager he is.

***

Jihoon comes exactly on time for his first final - math, thank god. It makes him feel less guilty about not studying at all during the weekend. Jinyoung, Daehwi and Samuel smile at him from where they are sitting.

He notices that every seat in the classroom is taken besides the one next to him, which makes him feel kind of uneasy.

The teacher is handing out the exams when - the actual hell?

Lai Guanlin walks in in all of his glory. The younger boy looks better, more tanned and with a better haircut. Jihoon seems to forget how to breathe.

Guanlin apologizes for being late and then sits down next to Jihoon.

Jihoon can't help himself, so he just stares at Guanlin until the boy turns around towards him with a smug smirk and raised eyebrows.

"Am I so pretty to look at that you can't take your eyes off?" Guanlin asks, gummy smile in place.

"Yeah," Jihoon says confidently. "The prettiest."

***

Jihoon is a hundred percent sure that this is going to be the first time in his life that he doesn't get a full score in the math final.

***

As soon as their exam is over, he takes a hold of a surprised Guanlin’s hand and leaves the classroom – Jinyoung and Daehwi looking at them bewildered, Samuel just smirks smugly and mouths “good luck” directly at him.

Guanlin doesn’t complain at all until they arrive at the school’s rooftop, instead he is holding Jihoon’s hand tightly and not so subtly protecting Jihoon from bumping into people in the hallway by shielding him with his body. That action makes Jihoon’s heartbeat increase ever so slightly.

***

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going back to Taiwan, you asshole?” is the first thing that leaves Jihoon’s mouth when they sit down on a bench near the edge of the rooftop.

He was aiming for an “I missed you” or “Fuck, I am so in love with you, please date me”, but his brain doesn’t seem to be cooperating with him. Guanlin doesn’t seem to want to play along either because he just stares at Jihoon with an unimpressed look.

“Thought you knew,” Guanlin answers. “It’s not like I made it a secret, plus Jinyoung talked about it for weeks before I actually did fly back.”

“Oh,” Jihoon replies, awkwardly fiddling with his fingers.

The both of them stay silent after that. Guanlin stares at the sky, the light making him look like an angel, what with his tanned skin, plumb lips and dark hair. The only thing that’s missing is some wings and a halo.

Jihoon just looks at his lap, not knowing what to do or even what outcome he had expected from coming up here – He should have known that as the most awkward person on planet earth, things wouldn’t happen like he wanted them to. Jihoon should have known that instead of confessing his feelings calmly and rationally, he would be an absolute mess.

“Did you drag me all the way here just to ask me that?” Guanlin inquires, turning around to look at Jihoon. “Because I don’t think that’s the only reason.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he simply doesn’t. Just stays quiet, still looking down and folds more into himself.

Guanlin stands up then. For a millisecond Jihoon is afraid that he’ll just go away, leave him there and never look back, but of course Guanlin surprises him. The Taiwanese boy squats down in front of him and places his hands on Jihoon’s knees. He leans in so that his lips are only centimeters away of the older boy’s right ear.

“You know, your constant bitch face is no match for me, I can read you like an open book, Park Jihoon,” Guanlin whispers, breathe tickling Jihoon. “I know how madly in love with me you are.”

That makes Jihoon snort.

“Even when confessing you make me cringe uncontrollably,” Jihoon grimaces, but the smallest hint of a smile is on his face.

A laugh escapes Guanlin’s lips. It sounds nice, although kind of high pitched, it makes Jihoon relax instantly – and why did he have to discover that Guanlin was so utterly beautiful two years after first meeting him?

They look at each other for a few seconds before the younger boy seems to have enough of just looking because he takes a hold of Jihoon’s hands, makes him stand up and then hugs him tightly. Guanlin is so tall he seems to engulf all of Jihoon with his body, it feels weirdly satisfying, makes Jihoon want to stay there hiding all day.

“Ah, between,” Guanlin mumbles, lips caressing the crook of Jihoon’s neck. “I like you too.”

“Yeah, figured,” Jihoon replies acting way more composed than he feels like. “I mean, you flew over from Taiwan just to see me.”

“Pretty sure I did it because of the finals but whatever,” Guanlin playfully points out.

The Taiwanese boy suddenly straightens his body, towering over Jihoon, lifts his arms and cups Jihoon’s face. He squishes his cheeks for a couple of seconds, quietly giggling and smiling happily.

Jihoon, also all in a sudden, feels quiet brave so he stands on his tip toes and leans forward, pecking Guanlin on the lips. Although it’s obvious that the younger boy is surprised, he still responds to the kiss.

He caresses Jihoon’s cheeks softly and deepens the kiss. If Jihoon had to describe the kiss, he would say it was quite lazy, both of them enjoying the slow pace, and it also is utterly awesome.  

“Jesus, had I known kissing you would feel this good, I would have done it sooner,” Jihoon hums happily.

“Well,” Guanlin starts, Jihoon can feel how smug he is going to be just by the way he speaks. “It’s difficult to resist someone as amazing as me, although it did take you long enough. I’m still not sure how you managed to ignore how perfect I am.”

“Your mouth is the problem, you say so much shit it’s almost hard to believe,” Jihoon points out with a laugh.

“I’m pretty sure my mouth is perfectly fine,” Guanlin smirks ere he leans in for another kiss.

And well, Jihoon has to admit, as he kisses the younger boy again, that Guanlin’s mouth is and works perfectly fine, indeed.

#panwink #guanhoon #guanlin #lai guanlin #jihoon #park jihoon #kpop fics #requests #kpop #prompt #wanna one #produce 101 #produce 101 season 2 #high school au #prompts #au #unbeta'd #i wrote it during my trip so it's not my best but i hope you like it anyway

[thefinalcinderella]

DIVE!! Book 1 Chapter 2-WHO IS THAT CAT?

New chapter! And I’m starting on Book 2 today! 

Something trivial: when I rewatched the second anime PV, I noticed that the MDC seems to have their own club building, which is weird considering the book makes a point of talking about how hard the president of Mizuki had to struggle to even get the club running (It’s why they dive at Tatsumi and the Sakuragi pool instead of having their own pools)

Also, I wonder how would technology impact the story, since the book is set in 1999-2000, and the anime is set in modern day...?

Full list of translations here.

Previously on DIVE!!: I can’t believe Tomoki’s relationship problems (platonic and romantic, maybe even familial??) were foreshadowed from Chapter 1.

When Asaki Kayoko showed up again, Tomoki had thought “As expected”, and although he had expected that they would meet again, he still kept his eyes open for the unexpected shape their reunion would take.

A week after that, Kayoko showed up again at the Tatsumi Swimming Center, this time greeting Tomoki and the others in a black athletic swimsuit.

Tanned skin. Her long hair gathered at the top of her head. While she was slender, her body suggested hints of strong muscle. Long eyelashes framed her cat-like eyes as ever, and as soon as she spotted Tomoki, they shone like they had on that day, but there was also a mischievous light, like a child waiting for the moment a secret is revealed.

The reason for that would be discovered soon.

Today, when the stretching exercises before practice were finished, Coach Fujitani called everyone over and introduced Kayoko.

“From today on we will have a new coach here. This is Asaki Kayoko-kun.”

The elementary school students cheered over the unexpected appearance of the new coach, Tomoki and the other middle school students looked at her blankly.

This woman is their new coach?

Moreover, Kayoko said she would succeed Coach Nakanishi, who had transferred out of the club.

The MDC originally had three coaches: Ooshima, a portly man, was the coach of the elementary schoolers; Coach Nakanishi was in charge of the middle schoolers; and Coach Fujitani was the head coach who supervised both groups. In other words, Kayoko would be in charge of Tomoki’s group.

“I will work hard to send out strong competitors from this club.”

Before the dumbfounded middle schoolers, Kayoko greeted them like a cat hiding her fangs. In the circle, Coach Fujitani asked Youichi a question.

“What are you going to do? Do you want to be instructed by Coach Asaki from now on, or will you continue practicing with Coach Abe like before?”

“I’ll do the same as before,” Youichi answered without hesitation. “But I will do the dryland training together.”

“Well, okay. If you aim for the top, either way it’s better to practice with people older than you rather than younger than you.”

Coach Fujitani nodded, knowing that there was no opponent at Sakuragi High who could motivate Youichi. Despite being father and son, Youichi and Coach Fujitani had a certain distance between them. Tomoki always marveled at how strangely formal they were with each other.

“Well then, let’s start practice. Ah, a word to elementary schoolers. During practice, please don’t pluck the poolside plants. Plants are for enriching the eyes, not tearing…”

With their backs to Coach Fujitani’s voice, Tomoki and the others slowly went to take showers.

“Seriously? She’s our coach? Is she even qualified for it? Sheesh.”

Next to Ryou, who had a torrent of complaints, Reiji also looked uneasy.

“No way, she must be Mizuki’s spy, right? She must be a bad coach sent by them to destroy us.”

“I don’t think so. It’s a weird thing to do. Mizuki can close us down whenever they want. Besides…”

Besides, Kayoko had said that she hadn’t come to destroy the MDC, but to protect it. Tomoki now understood that this is what she meant.

Nonetheless, if Kayoko really was serious about wanting to protect the MDC, she would need to devote all her strength and perseverance into it.

Diving was a sport where the coach wielded a great deal of influence. Obviously, the diver would not be able to see their own form when diving from a platform or springboard. Things like how precisely is their body moving, or how big of a splash are they making during entry, were completely unknown. When they received the explanation from their coach about what they are missing, the diver would know how their performance was for the first time. At the same time, issues and problems were pointed out, and tips for improvement were given. Without that relationship of trust, there was no chance for improving one’s skills.

“Well, if she’s a fake coach, then she’ll be fired. Let’s check that today.”

While Ryou fixed his eyes on the diving board in an aggressive manner, Tomoki secretly made a checklist in his head.

First, how much did she know about diving at such a young age?

In conclusion, for today, it wouldn’t be Kayoko who would be checking them strictly, but the other way around.

“First of all, I want you all to try diving one by one.”

Prompted by Kayoko, the first one on the platform was Ryou. Being a show-off, Ryou tended to choose a fancy move that was more than he was actually capable of, perhaps wanting to display his good points in front of the new coach, and he was standing on the tip of the platform longer than usual to build up his fighting spirit. Finally, when he raised both his hands and was about to dive, Kayoko clapped her hands from the poolside.

“Alright, I see now. Get off.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t need to dive. Please come down from the stairs.”

The one who appeared next on the platform, Reiji, was by nature a careful diver. Today he also closed his eyes lightly, concentrating his mind on his performance from now. Then, before actually diving in, Kayoko’s cruel voice rang out. “Yes, it’s fine. Come down.”

Tomoki, who was last, was also similar. In order to not follow Ryou’s and Reiji’s examples, he was intent on diving as soon as he got onto the platform, but he didn’t stop at the edge for three seconds before Kayoko hurriedly clapped her hands.

“Yes, good, it’s over now. Please get off quickly.”

The three made their humiliating descent off the platform, and were made to do “standing posture” practice on the poolside. They hadn’t touched the water even once during today’s practice.

“A diver who can’t stand in the proper posture cannot perform proper dives.”

“You’re exerting too much force in your necks. Pull in your butts more. Your arms are straight, but not stiff. Align your fingers, but don’t exert force into it!”

“Relax your upper bodies, but stiffen your lower bodies tightly. Gather all your strength into the center of your stomachs.”

“All of you have been diving for years, but you can’t even do proper body alignment?”

Body alignment—something Kayoko fussed over a lot. In a few words, it meant the correct position when diving. She wanted them to imagine a plump bunch of grapes. If you drop the bunch from off the platform, it would be broken apart and rain down everywhere as its center of gravity was tilted, and landing in the water in an ugly way as its balance was disturbed. But, would this happen to a cucumber? A straight cucumber would fall in a straight line and cut into the water vertically. Body alignment isn’t the ability to distribute power around the body (e.g. grapes), but to turn your whole body into a stiff board during your performance (e.g. cucumber). It was the foundation of a beautiful aerial performance and a no-splash entry, and Kayoko tried to drill it thoroughly into their heads on the first day.

However, that persistence was opposed by Tomoki and the others.

“We just stood on the poolside for an hour!”

“She’s crazy. It’s just not sane.”

The first half of practice has passed, so Kayoko told them to take a ten-minute break before continuing. They had all dashed to jump into the Jacuzzi bath, where they let loose everything that they had been forced to put up with up till then.

“How many times did she keep talking about how body alignment is? It’s stupid thing to do for one and two hours. It’s like telling a land athlete to stretch their Achilles tendon for an hour.”

“It’s a strategy, a strategy. She’s making us do weird things on the first day, to freak us out. Isn’t this her true plan?”

“Yeah, she’s that type of deceiver. Those underhanded tricks are only used by those who have no self-confidence.”

Then, to the ears of the three people who yammering on and on in the same vein, came Youichi’s voice.

“It’s true that type exists.”

Turning around with a start, they saw Youichi’s shadow floating on the other side of the frosted glass that partitioned off the Jacuzzi bath.

“Youichi-kun…”

“I’ve met them too, that type of coach. When I was at a training camp in middle school, a male coach from America came and he taught exactly like how that woman teaches. The first day was all about body alignment. The second day was dryland training. The third day was take off and approach practice. In the end, we were never actually taught diving itself. Just like you guys are doing now, everyone was complaining nonstop about it.”

“I thought so.”

The three all nodded, but Youichi continued on. “But, after that coach went back, I saw that everyone’s diving had become almost unrecognizable. It was like a toddler who could only walk suddenly started skipping. The Japanese coaches were stunned. Also, I learned this later, but that coach also trained the American gold medalists.”

“…”

On the other side of the speechless trio, Youichi stood up with a splash of hot water. Tomoki chased after him as he went back to the poolside.

“Wait, Youichi-kun. Does that American coach have something to do with her?”

“No, not really. It’s just that their coaching styles are similar. But, it doesn’t seem like that woman is an ordinary person.”

“Why do you think that?”

“It’s said that you’d know a first-class diver just by looking at them standing on the platform. And somehow, you’d know a first-class coach just from looking at them on the poolside,”

Following Youichi’s gaze to the poolside, there was Kayoko’s figure, wearing a yellow t-shirt over her black swimsuit. It seemed like she was helping with the elementary schoolers, making it harder for her to return to Tomoki and the others. She was using hand gestures to instruct the little divers, who were moving around restlessly. Certainly, her unique presence and elegance were affecting.

Diving pool.

Main pool.

Sub-pool.

There was a lot of noise coming from these three inside the building.

Water was spraying on people.

The aloof diving tower that overlooked everything.

The springboard that’s next to it.

The sounds of the footsteps of the elementary schoolers running along the poolside.

The dazzling lights from the ceiling.

The smell of the pool chemicals.

The drowsiness that could attack him in a moment—

Because she’s used to it, Tomoki thought. That woman had been accustomed to all of it, as though she’d fused to become a part of it.

“She has a nice butt.” While blushing from what Youichi murmured, Tomoki was thinking about it once again.

Who is that woman?

“Hey, you’re Sakai-kun, right? Wait up.”

Tomoki was called by Kayoko after they were finally released from two hours of torture, as the others staggered off towards the showers.

“I want to give something to you. Will you come to the lobby before you get ready to go home?”

“Sure.”

While conscious of Ryou and Reiji staring at him, Tomoki tried his hardest to nod as though he wasn’t interested.

Something she wanted to give me?

However, while he was changing clothes, Tomoki was silently thinking about this a lot, making it very obvious that he was interested in it.

The three of them changed clothes in silence, and left the locker room which echoed with the shrill voices of the elementary schoolers. At some point while the atmosphere was strained, Reiji greeted his father and left with him, and Ryou said he’d “go on ahead” to Crostini on the first floor, and left quickly.

Crostini was a coffee shop which overlooked Akebono Bay from a glass window. The mother who was on pick-up duty usually waited for the two of them there while reading.

Left alone, Tomoki waited for Kayoko as the perfume of the synchro-moms flooded the lobby.

“Sorry for the wait.”

Twenty minutes later, Kayoko appeared, who had let down her hair in a pretty hairstyle, fixed her makeup, and glossed her red lips.

Even though she was keeping a middle school student who was exhausted from practice after school waiting, she still took the time to put on makeup. That just shows that I shouldn’t put much trust in this woman, Tomoki thought resolutely, but without voicing his thoughts, he said, “The thing you wanted to give me, what is it?”

Kayoko took out several pieces of paper clipped together from her well-worn leather bag (1).

“This is it.”

Taking them and looking at them, Tomoki was speechless.

“What are these?”

“A training schedule for every morning.”

“For who?”

“Don’t play stupid all of a sudden!”

“This…must be a joke…”

Indeed, he cannot believe that she was sane. The self-training schedule Kayoko made was intense. It seemed time-consuming, like digesting French food, and it would take two hours to digest a full-course meal properly. That was described how much time he was going to have to spend on this every morning.

“It’s self-training, so I’m doing this voluntarily, right?”

“I don’t have to tell you to, after all, since you’re all Japanese kids.”

“I will do it, sometimes.”

“What kind of mediocre athlete would you be if you only do this sometimes? Extraordinary athletes always do extraordinary training.”

“I’m mediocre anyways.”

“I know. During last year’s Junior High School Championships’ Kanto meet you were tenth place out of twelve. You couldn’t even participate at the national meet. When you were in elementary school you had no success at the Junior Olympics, and finished without leaving an impression in either the tournament’s records or in people’s memories. You might be even below mediocrity.”

Tomoki glared at Kayoko sullenly. Her beautiful face was armed with makeup, with eyeliner firmly applied to that hateful thing.

“So, is Coach saying that giving me self-training is going to turn me from a below-mediocre to extraordinary?”

“Exactly. But I will check on you in this case. However, what exactly do you think is extraordinary?”

“Like…winning the Japanese Championships.”

Winning the Japanese Championships. Tomoki smiled weakly at the extremely overambitious words he had just said.

But Kayoko did not laugh at him at all.  “You’re a small-minded boy, huh.” She told him seriously.

“What?”

“What we are aiming for are the Olympics.”

On Sunday the next day, on a road in Setagaya Ward brightened by the morning sunshine, Tomoki was running alongside his pet dog Chikuwa.

Chikuwa was a stray dog found by Hiroya six years ago on a rainy day. His wet fur was then blow-dried, and when he was shown the refrigerator, the pitiful little dog jumped in joy. He ate as much as he was given. He liked eating chikuwa (2) so much that Hiroya named him after it, but when Tomoki thought about it later, he realized that was probably because he was just hungry. He would have been named “Cheese” if there was cheese in the refrigerator, or “Kamaboko” if there was kamaboko (2). Every time he saw Chikuwa, Tomoki kept thinking about the role fate played in that.

The neighborhood in the freezing early morning was deserted, and still covered in an opaque thin mist, but when they passed by people occasionally, they looked surprised to see Tomoki and Chikuwa going through it at a fast speed.

Chikuwa swung his bushy tail, his milk-colored body shaking with delight. Tomoki, who constantly made Hiroya take a walk with him instead, rarely took him outside, and he made him run at a faster speed than usual at a much longer distance. No matter how much Tomoki panted as he gripped his leash, or how sweaty his whole body was, those things became irrelevant to Chikuwa.

Tomoki’s exercise clothes were damp. Tucked into his pocket was the schedule Kayoko had given him yesterday.

Why I am doing this?

Why am I doing exactly what that woman told me to do?

He kept running, not understanding anything. As he let Chikuwa drag him ahead, Tomoki’s head swirled with the words Kayoko had thrust at him yesterday.

“I’m telling you this for your own good. Even if you think about falling into the gutter, give up and listen to what I’m saying. First of all, do some jogging every morning. If you have a dog, you should run together for at least an hour. Don’t forget that anything that happens in your daily life can count as training. Of course, you don’t wear socks and stuff like that at home, do you? Diving is a barefoot sport, so isn’t it good to try to sharpen the sensation of being barefoot everyday?”

As soon as he finished jogging for an hour, Tomoki returned to his room as quickly as he could, taking off his jacket that was sticky with sweat. After a short break, he started to do stretches in his T-shirt. From his ankles to feet, arms, shoulders, neck…his whole body was stretched. Tomoki’s double-jointed body, which was discovered by Kayoko, certainly bended well.

“Basic physical strength is the basics of basics. Okay? There are a lot of intervals in a diving competition, and it seems easy at first glance compared to other sports like soccer and basketball, but in order to do the nerve-wracking performances that last until the end in those long competitions, you will need extraordinary muscle strength, concentration skills and mental strength for the performance. I think in the end these will all form the foundation that is basic physical strength.”

After stretching, it was muscle training. Since Tomoki was a middle-schooler, his body hasn’t matured yet and therefore he could not use machines to do full-scale muscle training. However, Kayoko said that the most minimal muscle strength should be trained from now on to create a foundation in the future.

Abs and back muscles, and then push-ups. He did fifty push-ups for one set for a total of three sets. In other words, he did a hundred and fifty of them. How much is minimal? Tomoki thought as he gasped for breath.

“And after that, though I’ve said it many times, it’s thorough body alignment. Every morning and evening, check your posture in the mirror. Are you exerting force into your shoulders? Is your stomach sticking out? Are your buttocks tight? You have to keep that posture until the very last moment to ensure that you have a good water entry. And in order to keep that posture, you must have the corresponding muscle strength and power.”

While doing it in bursts of intervals many times, he finally finished muscle training. He dropped down onto the floor and could not move. But he was still not released from Kayoko’s schedule yet.

He had to do handstands for thirty seconds ten times.

“Doing a handstand on the platform is in the sixth category of diving.(3) Many Japanese divers are not good at it. The reason for that is obviously from lack of practice. The muscles necessary for handstands can only be trained from doing handstands. Every day, do handstands to death. If you have free time, or during recess at school, do handstands. If you get called the Handstand Boy behind your back, that’s great. Since diving is a mental competition, if you’re confident about an event that everyone else isn’t good at, it will definitely lead to a wide margin during the competition.”

Tomoki summoned his remaining strength and got up, and placed his trembling hands on the floor as he kicked his feet about it. He raised his lower body with a great amount of effort, and felt lightheaded as his toes approached the ceiling. However, because his fatigue from the muscle training dragged on his arms, he had no strength to support his entire body and…  

Thud. Tomoki fell forward and hit his forehead against the floor.

It hurts. It’s painful. I feel dizzy. Oh, I feel awful!

“Hey, what do you think are the qualities that a diver must have? Good proportions, excellent leg muscle strength, explosive power, a feel for rhythm, strong force of will and expressiveness…as many qualities as there are, I think the most important one is flexibility. It’s obvious if you look at who’s at the top in the world. Their bodies are very pliant. That pliancy gives their performances beauty and stability. Speaking of flexibility, you are born with qualities that they cannot not defeat. And beyond that…well, we will do that another time.”

A cool wind blew through the open window, comfortable against his sweaty skin. On the other side of the billowing blue curtains was the even bluer sky with scattered pale clouds that hovered over it.

The sky looks like a diving pool this way, Tomoki thought suddenly.

A blue boxed in by a square border.

I’m always boxed in by the world outside the pool…

“I only promise one thing. You will definitely grow. You improve as much as you polish your skills, and perhaps you can become a greater diver. Of course, it’s not going to be easy for you, having to do self-training every morning and attend practice after school, not to mention homework. But, you will definitely seize that result only if you work hard. It should be a result that’s the most realistic thing that you’ve ever savored so far, pleasant, and easy to understand. Is there anything else in this half-hearted country that can make you feel like that?”

School and home were enjoyable in their own ways, but they always felt constrained somehow, and he felt like he’s surrounded by a box. A very small, cramped box. It made him sad to think that even he himself was small-minded.

It was an unclear feeling of suffocation, or an unidentifiable depression.

By comparison, everything looked so much clearer in the water.

“Aim for the top. You are a kid who can do it. Focus on ascending to a higher place.”

To a high place?

“Yes. Always ascend.”

Ascend.

“There’s a scenery that only you can see.”

Scenery.

I can go beyond the box—?

“Hey Tomo, phone.”

Suddenly, a voice from reality sounded outside his head. Tomoki, surprised, returned back to himself.

He looked up to see Hiroya peering in from the half-open door.

Hiroya, who was getting into river fishing recently, would be going to a river sometime today. He was wearing a thick navy blue down jacket, and was handing him the phone while telling him to “hurry up”.

“Miu?”

“No, it’s Hirotaka from Class A.”

Relieved, Tomoki raised his aching body up and took the phone.

“Hello, Hirotaka?”

“Ah, Tomo. Are you free today? Everyone’s talking about meeting up in Ishii.”

“Um…actually, I’m doing dryland training this afternoon.”

If it was before, he would have skipped practice after some hesitation, and go out with Hirotaka and the others.

While thinking this, he said, “That’s why I can’t go, sorry.”

“Diving again? Oh well, I’ll just ask someone else.”

“Sorry, maybe some other time…”

The other side hung out before he finished talking.

Beep—beep—beep.

Tomoki listened to the cold machine sounds for a while, slowly moving his gaze at the receiver in his left hand to his right hand.

In his right hand that was damp with sweat, he clutched Kayoko’s crumpled-up schedule.

Holding a handstand for thirty seconds ten times. Then jump fifty times. And lastly, cooling down exercises. Carefully massage the whole body around the wrists and toes.

Tomoki let go of the phone, and quietly continued his training.

Translation Notes

1. More specifically, “bag made from cow hide tanned using tannin”.

2. Chikuwa is a tube-shaped fish-paste cake, and kamaboko is a steamed seasoned fish cake in a semi-cylindrical shape.

3. There are six groups of dives: Forward, back, reverse, inward, twisting, and armstand.

Next time on DIVE!!: Saaaaaaaaalt.

#dive!! #dive novel translation