#This hurt me a lot

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[abardsong]

WHAT DOES YOUR HEART LOOK LIKE?

a bird struggling to get loose

Your heart can never hold still. It pounds against your chest frantically, always turning your sights to one thing after the next. When was the last time you were certain? The last time your life was stable? Maybe this is how you prefer things. On the move constantly, not tied down to one person or place. You chase one goal after the next. Can you ever really feel complete without a place to land? Shouldn’t you build yourself a nest?

stolen from; @scarbound

#ic ⇀ musings #this hurt me a lot

[barghest-land]

ata tu corazón, mi amor, y arrástralo por la tierra

#this art hurts so bad #in a way i'd never be able to explain #also it just upsets me a lot because i don't like how i did it:( #idk how to make it better so i'm just gonna leave it as it is #and go to sleep good night #it was supposed to be cool and simple just like that #but in my eyes it's just missing everything and i don't know how to fix it #genuinely thought it was gonna be a good art but here i am oh well. that happens i guess #im sorry javier :(( i'll make more good art i promise #barghestland #art #artists on tumblr #rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #javier escuella

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen ning #wei wuxian #wen qing #jiang cheng #Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile. #This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature. #But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly' #My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out. #Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth. #I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity- #-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly. #Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose. #You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok #Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards. #Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever. #To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss. #Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'. #described in alt text #I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day

[dryya-doesnt]

An uncertain incantation, a warning left unheeded, and a shade made half whole.

#im ill #hades game #hades supergiant #hades 2 #hades fanart #hades 2 fanart #hades #icarus #hades ii #melinoe #waxwitch #waxwitch when I catch you waxwitch…. #don’t ask me how I feel currently (back hurts a lot) #I hibernate now #ueyyy!??? #hades 2 spoilers

[turnipoddity]

jigsaw apprentices in junji ito style

#this made me appreciate junji ito a WHOLE LOT MORE because my fingers HURT #saw #amanda young #mark hoffman #lawrence gordon #saw fanart #myart #tw blood #tw violence

[koszmarnybudyn]

So this song fits them so very well right?

#malevolent #john doe #john doe malevolent #john malevolent #arthur lester #tw blood #cw blood #implied child death #cw bones #tw bones #my art #if i need to add more tags just ket me know #idk the original author or the name of the actual song im sorry :(( #but this was stuck in my brain and i just had to draw it #theyve been in my brain rent free :[ #this was kinda a pain in the ass to color tbh and to actually draw #also i need to practice lettering :/// #but its done and im very happy about that i out a lot of thought into it #the stuff in the middle represents the people they hurt/killed (sorry no parker and like some creatures) #also are you guys going insane they are indeed holding hands!!!!?!?! crazyyyyy

[lazylittledragon]

what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

#ramble #ok to reblog btw i'm fine with this being shared #this was meant to be a short version but this is just the whole story whoops #sorry i realised the way i phrased it sounded like i'm the detrans you see in the news #i'm Technically a detransitioner because a lot of detrans stats are people who go on to RETRANSITION #because detransition is often because of social stigma and not because you realised you weren't trans #so anyway. terfs are cancer and if you don't think their bs is harming children you're wrong #i know it's easy to say 'you should've used your brain and realised those people were wrong' #but like. when you're 16 you're SO impressionable. even if you think you aren't #especially when you're watching people who have been transitioning longer than you and you assume they know everything #i was in my mid-late teens when 'transtrender' videos were MASSIVE and i believed it!!! and i was Not nice about those people #all they made me believe was that being trans couldn't be colourful and comfy and fun. it just had to be Pain #i hope everyone who contributed to the 'you need to be this way to be trans' mindset knows how much hurt they've caused #nowadays i don't care. go and be stargender. we have actual problems to deal with not debates about neopronouns #anyway this was long. that's the story

[tubbytarchia]

Somewhere in the woods, a moth tires of seeking light

#gempearl #shinyduo #shiny duo #not meant to be shipping propaganda for the poll but I mean... feel free to take it as such!! #the solitary plants feel out of place and maybe the color gradients could be better but its fineeeeeee. Not my proudest background... #also haha get it. Moth tires of seeking light. There's light all around her but its symbolic you guys #vaguely inspired by an estonian song. Some of the lyrics: #Luck pat her little girl’s head and repeated that beautiful is everything that there is #The girl then smiled and that was enough for her heart to understand where the sun lay #one of my favorite songs ever. Very beautiful and Id love to make an animatic or smth for it but the lyrics get a bit too specific :( #Shame that its in estonian and probably offputting to a lot of people too but.... õnn ja arm by mari pokinen....... #hermitshipping #commission #centaur cuddles tee hee <3 #horses etc cant actually twist their bodies that much without it hurting them I think. But please suspend your disbelief for me pleasee #tubby art

[fivepibbles]

they have him pinned, but at least they're warm!

fanart for @tsunochizu 's backwards through the snow fic! im SO normal about this story (still emotionally recovering from chapter 15) i love this fic so much <3

they are the STINKIEST of family...

(for those who haven't read this fic, first of all, go read it now. but also pebbles is mostly ok. kinda. hes just dirty and stinky... amongst other things)

#rain world #rw backwards through the snow #am i allowed to use that tag i hope so #ouyhgdhggdh this fic.... THIS FIC..... #this fic is everytging i wanted for a rain world fix it fic #like this fic has destroyed me and fixed me again ugh its so good #i could gush about this all day but unfortunately i am bills to pay children to feed . so have this fanart #everybody say thank you tsunochizu for writing such an amazing story full of super interesting headcanons and hurt/comfort #five pebbles #artificer #my art #now that i look back on the size ref i think i messed up the proportions a lot errmmmm oops #confession. i may have ressutected my dead art account JUST to post this fanart c: #pibblescribble

[ryssbelle]

Just two kids who got left behind

So now we got Clay's side of the cave in!! He didnt really have time to process any of the emotions he was feeling due to having to immediately run for his life, then guide others to safety alongside Viva.

This was made mostly in response to this fun little tag by @zivazivc

I wasn't planning on drawing it up so soon but AUGH I had to, also ty I pride myself in drawing raw emotions

Btw I do read all the tags and comments I get on my posts I'm very happy to have crushed you all thoroughly 💖

#my art #n2 au #trolls #trolls 3 #trolls au #trolls band together #trolls clay #trolls viva #trolls john dory #im having a lot of fun #i also have like 4 or 5 mor posts locked and loaded about this au #ill probably schedule them to go out for the next few days while i work on other stuff #but ill still like answer asks #i just have been hyper fixating on this and i forgor i have another comic im supposed to be focusing on #but thats for another day #im really excited to share all the silly things ive made #theres quite a few #when i go bonkers insane about something i go #bonkers insane #my wrist hurts so bad but that will not stop me #im so much stronger than possible carpal tunnel #but yeah about little clay doh #he is not well lmao #mentally or physically #hes grieving and terrified and theres so much responsibility on his shoulders #he also feels like its his fault if JD got caught in the cave in #because if hed gone back with his brothers before the escape JD wouldnt have to go back for him #but he loves being with Viva so #its a whole mess of emotions #the reunion with his bros minus jd when they find him is going to be very different

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The four alignments of Tummy Hurt

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #lan wangji #nie huaisang #bonus comic #Brought to you by: *my* tummy hurts #This is in teen-era for the sole fact that it was imperative that Teen Wangji be granted that caption #I too was a teen with extremely high expectations that gave me stress stomach pain. There's no way lwj's tummy doesn't hurt all the time #NHS says his tummy hurts to 1) get attention 2) get out of situations 3) act as a distraction so the real tummy hurt havers can sneak out #I never would have thought making a tummy hurt alignment chart would be a character analysis but #The underpinning logic here is about how these guys go through the motion of pain. I have a lot of thoughts that would exceed tag limits #I also just want to take the time to say: You don't have to be brave about it. No matter the pain you face. #Your tummy can hurt and you can tell people and be loud about it <3

[cozylittleartblog]

when valve has enough money to buy god, but they let bots ruin their game for 5 years and dox people 🤖🔫 #FIXTF2

everyone who signs this 100k+ petition will have their name printed and sent to valve HQ. this shit is unacceptable.

#fixtf2 #savetf2 #team fortress 2 #valve #i know hashtags dont work on tumblr in text posts but thats what the movement is called yknow #why are you - as valve - getting pwned by basement dwellers #art #tf2 fanart #scout #scout tf2 #artists on tumblr #tf2 #the bots were bad and annoying but then i found out they were literally committing felonies. i love valve but i hope they get sued now #TF2 is statistically and objectively one of THE most iconic FPS games of all time. it defined the genre. it persists at over 15 years old #it deserves so much better than this. its been five fucking years #TF2 basically got me *into* video games. it's art humor and characters have been MASSIVELY inspirational for me #i've made lifelong friends through TF2. this goofy hat simulator means A Lot to me and thousands of other people #2024 marks 10 years since I got into TF2 - late july 2014. it hurts to see the game in such a sorry state #but it's so nice to see people fighting for it again. if the world of warcraft guys can win maybe we can too #give it everything you've got boys o7 this is mainly a twitter movement but post it Everywhere You Can

[gardenofnoah]

cw: implied sexual trauma, panic attack, intimacy struggles

You don’t notice it happening until it’s buzzing under your skin. Loud and unavoidable, the only thing you can pay attention to is the irregular flutter of your heart and the way it seems that all the air has been vacuumed from the room—

“Hey.”

You blink, and Katsuki is no longer above you. He’s not touching you at all—you turn your head to find him next to you, propped up on an elbow and only worried.

“Too much?”

The panic flares at the question, because what if this is the last time? What if he’s tired of this?

Your exhale is shaky—your laugh is forced and sounds out of place. “No, it was fine, I just—“

“Oi—“ he says, gently, “tell me the truth.”

The truth burns your eyes and keeps them on the ceiling, away from his. You nod, helpless and resigned to whatever comes next.

“What’s goin’ on in your head?”

You feel the tears spill over before you can catch them. You swipe them away with the back of your wrist. It’s still numb. “I’m just sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin it.”

He grunts a little in acknowledgment—a displeased, ugly sound—and then there’s movement that finally draws your eyes to him. You watch him cover himself with your duvet—all the way up to his chin.

“S’it okay if I hold you?”

He reaches for you and you let him pull you in. His hands stay above your shoulders and pointedly avoid your neck—cradling your head, letting you hide in the curve of his throat. His pulse is steady and constant against your forehead—or you imagine it would be, if it wasn’t muted by the fabric.

“Nothin’ is ruined,” he murmurs against your hairline, “s’my job to keep you safe.”

Your chest shudders against the cushion of the blanket and you feel a little guilty about crying all over it but Katsuki keeps you there, tethered to him. The ringing in your ears subsides, just a little. Just enough to hear the panic in your own voice.

“I promise I want it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m sorry—“

“Hey, hey,” he shushes you, careful not to tighten his arms around your shoulders. “Nothin’ to be sorry for. S’too much today—that’s all.”

It’s quiet, then, save for your sniffling. He keeps his mouth pressed to your hair, and his arms wrapped around you. There is a noticeable absence of his fingertips tracing along your skin—you don’t feel them there at all, and it’s on purpose. He’s considerate and it makes you anxious.

“Can hear you thinkin’.”

“I just—“ you inhale, trying to be brave, “I don’t want you to leave. I know I can’t—give you this—“

“Oi,” he gruffs, a little sharply, “I don’t give a shit about that. M’not a barbarian.”

You feel the expansion of his lungs as he draws in a slow exhale, and lets it out against the crown of your head. “Don’t think so little of me,” he murmurs, tone laced with hurt.

“You’re right,” you whisper, because he is, “I love you.”

“Love you.” He kisses it into your skin, soft and barely there. “Always will.”

#i have beat this horse to hell but I really do love writing about struggles with intimacy #because ~i~ struggle with intimacy and I write for me ya know #but idk i think it would be hard for him!! he just wants to care for me and keep me safe and i have a tendency to self sabatoge. #if you can believe that. #he just wants to help and he knows that what happened before him is not his fault of course. but it upsets him when I project onto him #which is like. a very human thing? #i have been thinking about that post from the other day a lot about believing the people that love you #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou hurt comfort #bakugou comfort #bakugou fic #mha fic #bkg it’s the little things

[elitadream]

"You've been hurting so much, and for so long… Please, let me soothe your pain."

-

There was a scenario I had imagined in which Mario would suffer emotional trauma and keep it to himself to the point of becoming depressed, growing more distant and avoiding others as a result. He would so desperately want for his loved ones to be at peace that he would rather endure unbearable misery in silence than speak on it; not knowing just how tired he really is and how badly he needs to be comforted.

So when Peach would finally -and ever so gently- confront him on the matter, his walls would crumble almost immediately, and he would break down in front of her. Anguish and exhaustion slowly giving way to healing. ❤️‍🩹

#This kept coming back to my mind when I was working on both the confession tangent and the body swap one 🥺 #And looking at it... I figured it could indeed technically work for a variety of stories #The context might change but the issue remains 😢 #Mario has a lot of trouble opening up about what upsets him #Especially to both his brother and the princess #Who just so happen to be the two people who care about him the most #So the poor man was essentially bound to experience this struggle 😔 #But- there's beauty in sorrow. And love in suffering 🤲💖 #I have often contemplated drawing a sequence that would showcase this moment #but ultimately felt that it was more impactful as a single image 🌅 #It also deeply resonates with me for many reasons #This was a personal one for me 💙 #Mario #Princess Peach #Mario x Peach #Mareach #hurt/comfort #Super Mario Bros #Fanart

[mmmairon]

Please. I don’t want to hurt you.

Inspired by @wyvernne ’s vampluc

#sad and angsty vampire turned against his will and only drinks from animals because he sees himself as a monster #which leaves him incredibly weak and thirsty for real sustenance but he would rather drink his own blood than hurt you #his control will only last for so long! #sorry for being incredibly inactive and unresponsive with asks #lots of change in my life right now that’s leaving me incredibly anxious #can’t focus well so I just avoid things constantly. im sure someone can understand what I mean #oh well #diluc #my art #genshin impact #vampluc